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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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My queen, owner and mistress.

4
00:00:18,635 --> 00:00:24,697
I am so glad to see
that my ad has paid off.

5
00:00:24,721 --> 00:00:29,202
Firstly,
I want you to get to know me better.

6
00:00:29,226 --> 00:00:31,704
You already know my name.

7
00:00:31,728 --> 00:00:37,910
I am 33, 1.74m tall, I weigh 68kg

8
00:00:37,934 --> 00:00:43,640
and I have brown hair, blue eyes, a
mustache, I'm an architect and I'm single.

9
00:00:45,322 --> 00:00:52,605
I love to serve with total servitude, and
I feel that we will get along very well,

10
00:00:52,629 --> 00:00:56,669
because I'm quite
versatile and super discreet.

11
00:00:56,693 --> 00:01:01,018
I am polite,
affectionate and very understanding.

12
00:01:02,019 --> 00:01:04,698
I want to be your total slave.

13
00:01:04,722 --> 00:01:09,743
Let me lick your feet,
be kicked by you, be at your disposal,

14
00:01:09,767 --> 00:01:13,871
worship you, obey your every whim.

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00:01:15,352 --> 00:01:22,916
If you allow it, I will send you a picture
of me with my tongue stretched out,

16
00:01:22,940 --> 00:01:30,104
for you to run it all over your body,
including your feet.

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00:01:30,128 --> 00:01:33,507
I can picture you playing,
all the while smiling

18
00:01:33,531 --> 00:01:38,812
as you squeeze my nose
with your delicate little toes,

19
00:01:38,836 --> 00:01:41,699
making me smell their scent.

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00:01:42,901 --> 00:01:47,145
I will suck each little toe
like a delicious popsicle.

21
00:01:48,626 --> 00:01:56,430
Then they will all go down on my member,
ravaging it mercilessly.

22
00:01:56,454 --> 00:02:03,017
At this point,
I may ejaculate and wet them.

23
00:02:03,041 --> 00:02:08,603
To excuse myself for such a daring act,
I will clean them with my tongue,

24
00:02:08,627 --> 00:02:14,008
while my owner beats
me with a rawhide slipper,

25
00:02:14,032 --> 00:02:17,151
which I own just for that purpose.

26
00:02:17,175 --> 00:02:22,477
And after serving as a mat so as to feel

27
00:02:22,501 --> 00:02:28,043
the sweat and the taste of
your divine feet in my tongue.

28
00:02:28,067 --> 00:02:29,748
Yours servilely,

29
00:02:31,991 --> 00:02:34,113
Adalberto

30
00:02:35,754 --> 00:02:37,752
My name is Wilma Azevedo,

31
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I am now 74 years old.

32
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I made a career as a writer,
I've wanted to write since I was a child,

33
00:02:46,645 --> 00:02:51,286
and I was considered the literary queen
of sadomasochism throughout Brazil.

34
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I was very successful in the 70s,
the 80s and the 90s.

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00:03:11,951 --> 00:03:13,753
Wanda!

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00:03:18,238 --> 00:03:20,936
Wilma, this is Wanda.

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00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:23,199
- Hi, how are you? Pleased to meet you.
- Hi Wanda!

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00:03:23,223 --> 00:03:25,641
The actress who will play you in the film.

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00:03:25,665 --> 00:03:28,164
Great. The pleasure is mine.

40
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I'll sit here.

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00:03:29,129 --> 00:03:33,049
She'll be here to help
us read the short stories.

42
00:03:33,073 --> 00:03:34,590
Great.

43
00:03:34,614 --> 00:03:38,498
Among other things,
if you need her help, just ask...

44
00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:46,426
So, Wilma, I'd like to know about
your life path, since you were a child...

45
00:03:47,467 --> 00:03:50,150
Could you tell us a little about it?

46
00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:56,693
When I was little, I lived in Taubaté,

47
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near the farm that belonged to
the late author Monteiro Lobato.

48
00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:05,142
There was a water spring there,

49
00:04:05,166 --> 00:04:09,896
and everyone in that neighborhood

50
00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:14,251
went there to fetch drinking water.

51
00:04:14,275 --> 00:04:16,673
I was a very curious child.

52
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There were many fruit trees there

53
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and I liked to go
there not to fetch water,

54
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but to pick fruits.

55
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I was on my way there and I met my sister,
who was coming back from the spring

56
00:04:32,033 --> 00:04:35,452
with an empty bucket.

57
00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:39,296
She asked me, "Where are you going?"

58
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I told her I was going to pick fruits.

59
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She said, "Don't go there!"

60
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"Why not?"

61
00:04:46,687 --> 00:04:47,625
"Just don't."

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She grabbed me by my
dress and pulled me back.

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When she pulled me,
my dress ripped a little.

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I insisted, so she told me,
"There's a pervert there!"

65
00:05:00,302 --> 00:05:04,082
I didn't know what a pervert
was. "But what's a pervert?"

66
00:05:04,106 --> 00:05:08,626
"A pervert is a man who's out
there naked in a black trench coat

67
00:05:08,650 --> 00:05:13,051
and he opens it and
flashes his pecker at us."

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00:05:13,075 --> 00:05:17,835
Oh my God, that was what I wanted
to see! I've always been curious.

69
00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:21,359
It's no wonder that I'm considered
a natural-born sexologist,

70
00:05:21,383 --> 00:05:25,704
everything about sex
has always interested me.

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00:05:25,728 --> 00:05:30,108
I'd lived on a farm,
watching animals copulate,

72
00:05:30,132 --> 00:05:34,532
and all that was a matter of
curiosity and discovery for me.

73
00:05:34,556 --> 00:05:37,596
I was very advanced for my age.

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I picked the fruits, lifted my dress to
hold them and when I was about to leave

75
00:05:43,045 --> 00:05:45,464
he came out and opened his coat.

76
00:05:45,488 --> 00:05:47,686
And I was scared to see that...

77
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I'd never imagined what an
adult man's erection was like.

78
00:05:53,215 --> 00:05:56,455
So I darted through the woods.

79
00:05:56,479 --> 00:06:02,021
And I managed to escape through a narrow
passage…He wasn't able to get past it.

80
00:06:02,045 --> 00:06:07,646
When I got home, my mother knocked
on my head because my dress was torn.

81
00:06:07,670 --> 00:06:11,530
I was trembling but I
didn't say a word to anyone.

82
00:06:11,554 --> 00:06:15,034
Around three days later,

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00:06:15,058 --> 00:06:24,543
we heard that a friend of mine,
almost my age, was dying in the hospital.

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00:06:24,567 --> 00:06:32,452
And before she died, she'd been raped,
she'd been hurt real bad...

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00:06:32,476 --> 00:06:37,213
And she'd said that it had been
a man in a black trench coat

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00:06:37,237 --> 00:06:39,318
who had done that to her.

87
00:06:39,342 --> 00:06:43,102
So I realized the danger,
and I wondered...

88
00:06:43,126 --> 00:06:47,847
I grew up wondering,
"Why would an adult do this to a child?"

89
00:06:47,871 --> 00:06:51,471
Like the innocent child I was!

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00:06:51,495 --> 00:06:56,036
It was like opening a flower, a rose,

91
00:06:56,060 --> 00:07:02,082
by pulling its petals. It's
opening before springtime.

92
00:07:02,106 --> 00:07:07,407
…and after serving as a mat so as to feel

93
00:07:07,431 --> 00:07:11,916
the sweat and the taste of
your divine feet in my tongue.

94
00:07:13,037 --> 00:07:14,478
Yours servilely,

95
00:07:17,001 --> 00:07:18,803
Adalberto.

96
00:07:21,806 --> 00:07:29,790
I received many letters
from masochists telling…

97
00:07:29,814 --> 00:07:35,736
telling what they wouldn't tell a priest,
a brother, or their best friend...

98
00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:41,101
They told Wilma
Azevedo. Incredible stories!

99
00:07:41,125 --> 00:07:46,687
Almost all masochists
who liked to be beaten,

100
00:07:46,711 --> 00:07:50,531
who asked to be slippered like
this Adalberto guy, they told me...

101
00:07:50,555 --> 00:07:58,159
I began to investigate where
that sensation first came from,

102
00:07:58,183 --> 00:08:02,783
and most of them said that
when they were slippered,

103
00:08:02,807 --> 00:08:07,308
spanked or even whipped on the ass,

104
00:08:07,332 --> 00:08:11,072
they began to feel a nice tingling there.

105
00:08:11,096 --> 00:08:17,096
Then that erogenous area, instead of
causing pain,

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began to cause pleasure.

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And they ejaculated. Many of them had
ejaculated for the first time that way.

108
00:08:25,731 --> 00:08:31,132
When I was writing about it,

109
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I found out that a Doctor Meissner,

110
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a scientist,

111
00:08:40,886 --> 00:08:46,808
had written about pain in my
grandson's high school book.

112
00:08:46,832 --> 00:08:51,033
He said that we have numerous nerves

113
00:08:51,057 --> 00:08:56,859
that end mainly in areas
unprotected by hair, like the buttocks.

114
00:08:56,883 --> 00:09:00,643
And these nerves, when overstimulated,

115
00:09:00,667 --> 00:09:05,528
instead of causing pain,
begin to cause pleasure.

116
00:09:05,552 --> 00:09:10,813
So I realized that the
pleasure that masochists feel

117
00:09:10,837 --> 00:09:15,918
when they are spanked, slippered, whipped…

118
00:09:15,942 --> 00:09:19,822
...because anyone can
do this on their palm...

119
00:09:19,846 --> 00:09:26,589
When they stop,
they'll feel a tingling sensation.

120
00:09:26,613 --> 00:09:33,816
And in the erogenous areas,
the scientist himself says,

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00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:36,599
when they are overstimulated,
these nerves,

122
00:09:36,623 --> 00:09:40,667
instead of causing pain,
begin to cause pleasure.

123
00:09:57,565 --> 00:10:01,825
I liked everything about sadomasochism.

124
00:10:01,849 --> 00:10:08,992
And in 1979 I came across a
magazine called "Man" in the newsstands,

125
00:10:09,016 --> 00:10:14,578
and in it there were several
personal ads by foot fetishists,

126
00:10:14,602 --> 00:10:18,342
people saying they wanted
to be domestic servants,

127
00:10:18,366 --> 00:10:22,246
they wanted to have a mistress to serve.

128
00:10:22,270 --> 00:10:27,762
And I answered these
letters as a dominatrix.

129
00:10:27,786 --> 00:10:34,979
For each case I created
something specific...

130
00:10:35,003 --> 00:10:38,963
The guy said "I want to be your puppy,
I want to kiss your feet,"

131
00:10:38,987 --> 00:10:43,868
and I said "I'd love to have a slave

132
00:10:43,892 --> 00:10:50,454
who kissed my feet, who licked my shoe,
who cleaned my stinky feet."

133
00:10:50,478 --> 00:10:54,799
And he was smitten,
the one from the first ad I answered.

134
00:10:54,823 --> 00:10:58,259
Each ad I answered, they were fascinated

135
00:10:58,283 --> 00:11:02,667
by the fact that there was
a flesh-and-blood person

136
00:11:02,691 --> 00:11:04,849
with the same predilections.

137
00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:10,114
Sadomasochism was
completely silenced here in Brazil,

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00:11:10,138 --> 00:11:12,761
nobody disclosed anything. It was feared.

139
00:11:13,882 --> 00:11:15,780
"Childhood"

140
00:11:15,804 --> 00:11:19,064
I lost my parents very early in my life.

141
00:11:19,088 --> 00:11:23,692
It was a train accident,
which I don't like to remember.

142
00:11:24,853 --> 00:11:29,975
I just want to point out that
we'd had a wonderful Sunday.

143
00:11:29,999 --> 00:11:32,517
It was my first picnic.

144
00:11:32,541 --> 00:11:37,943
And what fascinated me the
most was the visit to the zoo.

145
00:11:37,967 --> 00:11:41,246
And what traumatized me the most

146
00:11:41,270 --> 00:11:46,151
was to see that the statues
at the front of the palace

147
00:11:46,175 --> 00:11:49,759
where Dom Pedro had lived were mutilated.

148
00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:55,761
I'd spent a long time contemplating
a beautiful Roman maiden

149
00:11:55,785 --> 00:11:59,369
carrying a bouquet in her hands.

150
00:12:00,810 --> 00:12:03,789
She was headless!

151
00:12:03,813 --> 00:12:08,178
How I hated having
visited Quinta da Boa Vista.

152
00:12:09,859 --> 00:12:13,150
On the way back from that trip,

153
00:12:13,174 --> 00:12:18,064
the train that took us
to the suburbs crashed.

154
00:12:18,088 --> 00:12:23,914
And my parents,
as well as my sister, were killed.

155
00:12:26,356 --> 00:12:32,799
My mother, as I learned later,
had had her "red…"

156
00:12:32,823 --> 00:12:34,981
Her "head…"

157
00:12:35,005 --> 00:12:37,824
("the pronunciation!")

158
00:12:37,848 --> 00:12:40,547
My mother had had her head cut off.

159
00:12:40,571 --> 00:12:43,854
Cut off. Just like the statue, see?

160
00:12:49,139 --> 00:12:55,782
I don't like parks or gardens, much less
statues like those in Quinta da Boa Vista.

161
00:12:55,806 --> 00:13:00,871
With each passing day they lose
their beauty at the hands of vandals.

162
00:13:02,032 --> 00:13:05,667
After the accident,
I went to live with a couple

163
00:13:05,691 --> 00:13:09,016
whose husband had been my father's friend.

164
00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:16,063
Seu Augusto and Dona Conceição
had been married for years,

165
00:13:16,087 --> 00:13:19,146
but their marriage was like a tragedy.

166
00:13:19,170 --> 00:13:21,909
She was very selfish.

167
00:13:21,933 --> 00:13:24,384
And he was so simple, so humble,

168
00:13:24,408 --> 00:13:28,936
he always treated me with affection,
but very respectfully.

169
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:32,159
And she, who had a wicked mind,

170
00:13:32,183 --> 00:13:39,787
began to imagine that he was
interested in me for sexual reasons.

171
00:13:39,811 --> 00:13:45,052
That made me angry, because he wasn't.

172
00:13:45,076 --> 00:13:50,889
She always complained when he ran
his hand over my head, held my hand.

173
00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:56,322
When he caressed me, respectfully,
she thought…

174
00:13:56,346 --> 00:13:58,926
She got very jealous.

175
00:13:58,950 --> 00:14:01,589
When he died,

176
00:14:01,613 --> 00:14:04,872
she turned her attention to me

177
00:14:04,896 --> 00:14:12,460
because she said that I would save
her life by marrying a wealthy man.

178
00:14:12,484 --> 00:14:16,864
So she wanted to make
sure I was still a virgin,

179
00:14:16,888 --> 00:14:20,769
and I was very upset when
she pulled up my clothes,

180
00:14:20,793 --> 00:14:23,752
made me lie down,
took off my panties and examined me.

181
00:14:23,776 --> 00:14:26,114
To see if the hymen was intact.

182
00:14:26,138 --> 00:14:28,977
I was still an innocent child.

183
00:14:29,001 --> 00:14:30,437
Soon after that, she found out

184
00:14:30,461 --> 00:14:33,201
that the owner
of the grocery store in front of our house

185
00:14:33,225 --> 00:14:39,428
was a rich Portuguese man.

186
00:14:39,452 --> 00:14:42,464
So she taught me

187
00:14:42,488 --> 00:14:47,580
how to lure and seduce him.

188
00:14:49,782 --> 00:14:54,643
Then one day I put on
red high-heel sandals...

189
00:14:54,667 --> 00:15:00,129
For the first time, he noticed my feet,
and he kept staring at me.

190
00:15:00,153 --> 00:15:05,114
And I realized that he was interested
in something, I didn't know what.

191
00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:10,719
Then I climbed a ladder to
get a can from the top shelf,

192
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:15,484
and he came up and ran
his hand over my sandal.

193
00:15:15,508 --> 00:15:19,468
So I realized that he liked high heels,

194
00:15:19,492 --> 00:15:23,893
and I set out to seduce
him into marrying me.

195
00:15:23,917 --> 00:15:25,859
What else?

196
00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:32,922
I don't remember.

197
00:15:32,946 --> 00:15:35,965
I wrote that 30 years ago.

198
00:15:35,989 --> 00:15:39,929
It's been 30 years, I never read it again.

199
00:15:39,953 --> 00:15:42,232
There was the negotiation, the dowry...

200
00:15:42,256 --> 00:15:42,932
Oh, yes.

201
00:15:42,956 --> 00:15:44,614
Then the stroke.

202
00:15:44,638 --> 00:15:48,122
Then comes the stroke? Well,
there goes the stroke of suspense...

203
00:15:49,723 --> 00:15:55,225
You dedicate yourself to him for 3 years,
and he dies...

204
00:15:55,249 --> 00:16:00,730
Oh,
he died? Wasn't he bedridden for 10 years?

205
00:16:00,754 --> 00:16:01,952
3 years.

206
00:16:01,976 --> 00:16:03,914
Okay, here goes.

207
00:16:03,938 --> 00:16:09,119
I got married at 18,
he was 10 years older than me.

208
00:16:09,143 --> 00:16:13,043
He was very fond of kissing my feet,
and on the honeymoon,

209
00:16:13,067 --> 00:16:19,990
I had this urge to dress him up in
my nightgown, tie a bow in his hair…

210
00:16:20,014 --> 00:16:21,692
put some make-up on him.

211
00:16:21,716 --> 00:16:26,276
And he found it amusing,
too. And I liked it even more.

212
00:16:26,300 --> 00:16:32,122
However, soon after that
he lost interest in this play,

213
00:16:32,146 --> 00:16:37,928
and he had a stroke,
he was bedridden for 3 years

214
00:16:37,952 --> 00:16:43,034
and I took over the grocery store,
though I didn't have a clue.

215
00:16:43,058 --> 00:16:49,020
But since he was Portuguese,
he had wealthy relatives in Portugal,

216
00:16:49,044 --> 00:16:53,144
who died and left him an inheritance.

217
00:16:53,168 --> 00:16:55,967
So after I got that inheritance,

218
00:16:55,991 --> 00:17:01,076
I moved to an upscale
neighborhood in the south of Rio.

219
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:18,069
"LA VENUS DE SATIN" DE WILMA AZEVEDO

220
00:17:18,093 --> 00:17:20,272
I was tense.

221
00:17:20,296 --> 00:17:23,859
But I was trying to remain calm.

222
00:17:25,020 --> 00:17:27,759
I pondered one more time,

223
00:17:27,783 --> 00:17:31,763
"Bull," I only knew him by his nickname,

224
00:17:31,787 --> 00:17:35,911
"It's not fair for you to take
advantage of the situation.

225
00:17:37,273 --> 00:17:42,798
I only accepted your ride so I
wouldn't be late for my exams.

226
00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:48,004
You know how important
it is for me to take this test.

227
00:17:49,445 --> 00:17:53,946
I've known you since the
beginning of the school year.

228
00:17:53,970 --> 00:17:59,431
I've always tried to avoid your advances,
because I'm not into you.

229
00:17:59,455 --> 00:18:07,019
Please, I know you aren't heading
where I need to be in half an hour.

230
00:18:07,043 --> 00:18:08,361
Turn around!"

231
00:18:08,385 --> 00:18:15,668
He'd taken a route other than the
one to the college where I studied.

232
00:18:15,692 --> 00:18:19,932
Then I realized that
he was after something.

233
00:18:19,956 --> 00:18:24,057
I told him, "Let's head back,
I'm going to be late."

234
00:18:24,081 --> 00:18:29,162
And he kept going,
we were in a completely deserted area.

235
00:18:29,186 --> 00:18:35,688
Then he stopped the car and
pulled out his member, saying:

236
00:18:35,712 --> 00:18:41,154
"I'm here at your disposal.
Come straddle me."

237
00:18:41,178 --> 00:18:44,157
I didn't want to. I kept saying, "No, no!"

238
00:18:44,181 --> 00:18:48,421
When I sank down onto him, I noticed
that he was a bull not only by name,

239
00:18:48,445 --> 00:18:51,645
but his member was also huge.

240
00:18:51,669 --> 00:18:57,831
I felt something, but with hatred inside
me because of that forced situation.

241
00:18:57,855 --> 00:18:59,813
It was a rape, right?

242
00:18:59,837 --> 00:19:03,356
I told him, "I feel like killing you,
you know?"

243
00:19:03,380 --> 00:19:05,599
And he said, "So kill me."

244
00:19:05,623 --> 00:19:07,621
I said, "I will!"

245
00:19:07,645 --> 00:19:13,827
I grabbed the seatbelt,

246
00:19:13,851 --> 00:19:18,152
I wrapped it around his neck and
he thought that I was joking around.

247
00:19:18,176 --> 00:19:22,236
But I gave it a jerk,
and when I jerked it I lowered my body,

248
00:19:22,260 --> 00:19:26,765
so he penetrated me deeply
and I had my first orgasm,

249
00:19:26,789 --> 00:19:29,643
and then another, and another...

250
00:19:29,667 --> 00:19:35,269
He clutched the seatbelt, trying
to free himself, but it was too tight,

251
00:19:35,293 --> 00:19:37,011
he couldn't...

252
00:19:37,035 --> 00:19:40,334
He stuck out his tongue,
he was going red like a tomato…

253
00:19:40,358 --> 00:19:44,639
Then I came to my senses,
"Oh my god, what am I doing?"

254
00:19:44,663 --> 00:19:46,941
It wasn't my intention.

255
00:19:46,965 --> 00:19:50,565
So I let go of him and
rushed out of the car.

256
00:19:50,589 --> 00:19:53,788
I even left my panties back inside.

257
00:19:53,812 --> 00:20:00,495
Then he took a deep
breath and speeded off,

258
00:20:00,519 --> 00:20:02,877
leaving me behind in that deserted place.

259
00:20:02,901 --> 00:20:05,800
Then I started to run,
it was growing dark.

260
00:20:05,824 --> 00:20:12,026
I stumbled on a rock... and as I fell I
had multiple orgasms, all by myself.

261
00:20:12,050 --> 00:20:14,249
That had never happened to me,

262
00:20:14,273 --> 00:20:19,214
so I realized that it was the
pleasure I felt for trying to kill him.

263
00:20:19,238 --> 00:20:25,280
For days I wondered what
that feeling was that I'd felt,

264
00:20:25,304 --> 00:20:30,085
of pleasure, hate and then fear,
all together.

265
00:20:30,109 --> 00:20:35,847
So I began to research it
by scouring used bookstores

266
00:20:35,871 --> 00:20:39,839
for any books that talked about it.

267
00:20:45,580 --> 00:20:51,380
"DELICIOUS TORMENTS" BY
WILMA AZEVEDO

268
00:20:56,956 --> 00:20:58,965
Back then we used PO box numbers.

269
00:20:58,989 --> 00:21:02,898
They got so excited,
they wanted to meet me,

270
00:21:02,922 --> 00:21:06,202
they wanted to have
a relationship with me.

271
00:21:06,226 --> 00:21:10,206
But I didn't, I was very afraid.

272
00:21:10,230 --> 00:21:15,231
Even when I answered
the ad by Cosam Atsidas,

273
00:21:15,255 --> 00:21:19,696
which means "Masoc Sadista" backwards.

274
00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:21,858
What's his name?
What's his name?

275
00:21:21,882 --> 00:21:27,563
Cosam Atsidas. He was well
known in the S&M literary milieu.

276
00:21:27,587 --> 00:21:35,492
He founded the Brazilian Association
for Sadomasochism in 1984.

277
00:21:35,516 --> 00:21:41,658
When I wrote to him with
some of my flights of fancy…

278
00:21:41,682 --> 00:21:44,821
because he'd said he wanted
to be a domestic servant.

279
00:21:44,845 --> 00:21:50,427
I replied saying that I would
like to have a domestic servant

280
00:21:50,451 --> 00:21:55,512
who would cook for me, set the table,
serve my meals, but naked,

281
00:21:55,536 --> 00:21:57,649
with a see-through apron on

282
00:21:57,673 --> 00:22:02,539
so that I could grab him any
time I wanted, crush his balls...

283
00:22:02,563 --> 00:22:04,401
He got so excited about it.

284
00:22:04,425 --> 00:22:08,585
He'd already had some slaves,
but he'd never been one.

285
00:22:08,609 --> 00:22:11,348
He asked if I wanted to
have a relationship with him,

286
00:22:11,372 --> 00:22:19,336
but he had a case full of ropes,
chains, hooks, needles…

287
00:22:19,360 --> 00:22:21,038
That really scared me.

288
00:22:21,062 --> 00:22:22,980
When we met I told him,

289
00:22:23,004 --> 00:22:30,628
"Put your tools down on the sink,
a queen never tires of playing with them."

290
00:22:30,652 --> 00:22:35,913
Actually,
I didn't know what to do with them.

291
00:22:35,937 --> 00:22:39,567
I had seen, in a magazine,

292
00:22:39,591 --> 00:22:44,342
a dominatrix straddling her slave.

293
00:22:44,366 --> 00:22:49,005
She had a lot of make-up
on and a shredded hairstyle.

294
00:22:49,029 --> 00:22:51,769
I went into the bathroom, I fixed my hair,

295
00:22:51,793 --> 00:22:56,114
put lots of makeup on and
walked out… I was so nervous!

296
00:22:56,138 --> 00:22:58,600
Then I told him to come to me,

297
00:22:59,601 --> 00:23:04,923
but I was afraid he would use
those tools on me, hurt me, fasten me.

298
00:23:04,947 --> 00:23:08,466
"But I have to face up to
this... I want to write about it,

299
00:23:08,490 --> 00:23:15,213
I want to be a writer of sadomasochism,
I have to face everything."

300
00:23:15,237 --> 00:23:18,196
He came up on all fours,

301
00:23:18,220 --> 00:23:21,980
very humble,
almost drooling with happiness,

302
00:23:22,004 --> 00:23:26,525
his head hanging low.

303
00:23:26,549 --> 00:23:32,931
Then I realized that I had the power to
really take on the role of a dominatrix.

304
00:23:32,955 --> 00:23:40,319
I straddled him, I held up the
whip and started lashing him lightly,

305
00:23:40,343 --> 00:23:43,682
telling him, "You're a beast,
you're an inferior being…",

306
00:23:43,706 --> 00:23:45,104
making up stuff like that.

307
00:23:45,128 --> 00:23:50,689
But the motel room,
I don't know if it's still like that,

308
00:23:50,713 --> 00:23:56,455
but it had mirrors on all the walls,
and when I looked in them

309
00:23:56,479 --> 00:23:59,638
and saw myself on top of him,
I was startled.

310
00:23:59,662 --> 00:24:04,627
Seeing that strange
character of Wilma Azevedo…

311
00:24:06,109 --> 00:24:08,347
Were you startled by your own image?

312
00:24:08,371 --> 00:24:11,811
I was! I felt like laughing,

313
00:24:11,835 --> 00:24:18,377
so I went into the bathroom
and laughed a lot in there…

314
00:24:18,401 --> 00:24:22,061
And then all that tension was gone.

315
00:24:22,085 --> 00:24:25,265
Because it was funny,
I thought the scene was funny.

316
00:24:25,289 --> 00:24:30,249
Then I came back relaxed, and I
went on with the scene, creating things.

317
00:24:30,273 --> 00:24:34,274
And the man fell hard for me.

318
00:24:34,298 --> 00:24:38,578
We dated for 3 years,
we were deeply in love,

319
00:24:38,602 --> 00:24:42,382
he wanted to leave his wife but I didn't.

320
00:24:42,406 --> 00:24:46,150
And I began to write my short stories,
I didn't know what for.

321
00:25:05,300 --> 00:25:10,000
"HAPPY CARNIVAL" BY WILMA AZEVEDO

322
00:25:15,620 --> 00:25:23,804
I'd gone to a party and I met a man

323
00:25:23,846 --> 00:25:29,009
who read the articles I
wrote for the magazine,

324
00:25:29,033 --> 00:25:31,776
he knew that I was
going to be at that party.

325
00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:37,338
He'd brought his slave, Karina,

326
00:25:37,362 --> 00:25:40,441
to leave under my care,
because he was going to travel

327
00:25:40,465 --> 00:25:42,944
and he didn't trust
anyone to leave her with.

328
00:25:42,968 --> 00:25:45,342
When a slave goes to meet her master,

329
00:25:45,366 --> 00:25:48,449
she always goes without
any panties or a bra on,

330
00:25:48,473 --> 00:25:50,456
only with her clothes over her body.

331
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:53,715
Then when she got into the car,

332
00:25:53,739 --> 00:25:56,858
she sat at the back and I slid my hand

333
00:25:56,882 --> 00:26:00,742
to check if she had any
panties on. She didn't.

334
00:26:00,766 --> 00:26:05,006
Then as I slid my hand
she opened her legs,

335
00:26:05,030 --> 00:26:10,512
because a slave has to be at the
disposal of her master or her mistress.

336
00:26:10,536 --> 00:26:16,418
So, my hand was there… it was awkward,
but fine.

337
00:26:16,442 --> 00:26:23,008
When we arrived, he told her to
prepare my bath and bathe me.

338
00:26:24,090 --> 00:26:25,547
Fine.

339
00:26:25,571 --> 00:26:32,955
But when she went to pour me a drink,
she stumbled and spilled it.

340
00:26:32,979 --> 00:26:40,462
Then he picked up the whip and
lashed her violently, or so I thought.

341
00:26:40,486 --> 00:26:44,046
At the time I didn't understand much...

342
00:26:44,070 --> 00:26:51,534
He told her to stay on her
knees before me, as punishment.

343
00:26:51,558 --> 00:26:55,668
And we went on talking with her there,
and that was bothering me.

344
00:26:55,692 --> 00:26:59,802
So I told him,
"Let's get on and do what must be done."

345
00:26:59,826 --> 00:27:03,686
Then, when she lay down,
she was already naked.

346
00:27:03,710 --> 00:27:06,309
She had a lot of pubic hair.

347
00:27:06,333 --> 00:27:12,495
When she lay down, he spread the
cream on her and told me to shave her.

348
00:27:12,519 --> 00:27:18,181
And, as I shaved her,
I could see that she had a huge clit.

349
00:27:18,205 --> 00:27:20,723
It was bigger than my finger,

350
00:27:20,747 --> 00:27:25,428
and I found it very interesting,
very strange, very beautiful even.

351
00:27:25,452 --> 00:27:27,370
And I felt like sucking it.

352
00:27:27,394 --> 00:27:34,557
I did it that day, for the first time,
for the novelty of it. It was interesting.

353
00:27:34,581 --> 00:27:39,843
So he thought that I was into it,
that I liked it.

354
00:27:39,867 --> 00:27:44,526
And he traveled and left her to serve me.

355
00:27:44,551 --> 00:27:46,551
"ELEGY TO KARINA"

356
00:27:47,975 --> 00:27:52,700
This poem was published in issue number 17

357
00:27:54,622 --> 00:27:58,782
Parallel comparisons.

358
00:27:58,806 --> 00:28:01,485
Rebellion.

359
00:28:01,509 --> 00:28:05,600
The soul is weary of lulling chimeras,

360
00:28:05,624 --> 00:28:11,815
in whose bosom memories and desires

361
00:28:11,839 --> 00:28:15,999
roar like beasts. Sorrow and loneliness...

362
00:28:16,023 --> 00:28:20,664
A slave abandoned in
lovelessness with no name,

363
00:28:20,688 --> 00:28:26,370
no Master, no direction, no tomorrow.

364
00:28:26,394 --> 00:28:30,574
Neglected, she suffers such injustice

365
00:28:30,598 --> 00:28:34,142
that her life is consumed by grief.

366
00:28:35,704 --> 00:28:39,668
A slave to bitterness chained.

367
00:28:40,949 --> 00:28:44,629
A captive, much too aware of pain.

368
00:28:44,653 --> 00:28:47,996
A human wreck come of a late love.

369
00:28:49,758 --> 00:28:54,979
A revived longing that still tortures her.

370
00:28:55,003 --> 00:29:03,368
Incandescent whip, rope, punishment, kiss?

371
00:29:03,392 --> 00:29:06,535
Memories of the joys of Sadism?

372
00:29:07,576 --> 00:29:10,405
They are chimeras of tragic lyricism,

373
00:29:10,429 --> 00:29:14,383
which revive her in every scene, ardently!

374
00:29:15,504 --> 00:29:19,014
Why does the past trouble her?

375
00:29:19,038 --> 00:29:24,369
You are strong, noble,
beautiful, confident!

376
00:29:24,393 --> 00:29:28,734
You shall beat on in pleasure and pain.

377
00:29:28,758 --> 00:29:33,362
Your sorrows? A poet's sentimentalisms!

378
00:29:34,443 --> 00:29:38,143
The world is yours,
my disciple, my friend.

379
00:29:38,167 --> 00:29:41,006
You shall have another owner,
master, guide.

380
00:29:41,030 --> 00:29:45,070
You shall see, like the dawn of a new day,

381
00:29:45,094 --> 00:29:49,058
a new slave be born from the old Karina!

382
00:29:50,300 --> 00:29:54,540
I thank you for your praise,
for your tenderness,

383
00:29:54,564 --> 00:29:57,323
For thinking of me so highly.

384
00:29:57,347 --> 00:30:02,208
You have not forgotten
me. Even in hardship,

385
00:30:02,232 --> 00:30:07,613
I know how good and
sweet and pure you are!

386
00:30:07,637 --> 00:30:11,037
You have entrusted me with these pages,
saying,

387
00:30:11,061 --> 00:30:14,620
"Read them, and then tear them up"

388
00:30:14,644 --> 00:30:17,323
I have read them,
but I will not tear them up.

389
00:30:17,347 --> 00:30:20,306
For this story of painful torment is

390
00:30:20,330 --> 00:30:24,094
dazzling evidence of a life fully lived.

391
00:30:25,215 --> 00:30:30,517
A story of love,
longing, failure, victory.

392
00:30:30,541 --> 00:30:32,863
A moment torn from our lives.

393
00:30:34,144 --> 00:30:36,907
A page that should not be forgotten.

394
00:30:38,509 --> 00:30:42,088
There lie, indelibly engraved,

395
00:30:42,112 --> 00:30:46,213
our moments of
discoveries and realizations.

396
00:30:46,237 --> 00:30:50,897
And everything that is
described there happened

397
00:30:50,921 --> 00:30:54,841
to three people who met in a real world.

398
00:30:54,865 --> 00:30:58,449
It is not fantasy, but glory!

399
00:30:59,850 --> 00:31:04,671
I hope that another Master chains you,

400
00:31:04,695 --> 00:31:09,566
and, at your fresh start,
that you receive as a gift

401
00:31:09,590 --> 00:31:15,262
someone who will possess
you gently and calmly.

402
00:31:15,286 --> 00:31:20,351
Not only your body, but also your soul!

403
00:31:22,794 --> 00:31:25,653
She was a very important lawyer.

404
00:31:25,677 --> 00:31:27,735
She became my lawyer, she helped me a lot.

405
00:31:27,759 --> 00:31:31,599
But we drifted apart,
because when I quit the scene,

406
00:31:31,623 --> 00:31:34,662
I turned away from
everything and everyone.

407
00:31:34,686 --> 00:31:38,826
For 18 years nobody
knew if I was dead or alive.

408
00:31:38,850 --> 00:31:43,721
They sent me strange pictures,
like this guy here.

409
00:31:43,745 --> 00:31:49,741
He sent me this picture,
then this one arrived.

410
00:31:51,103 --> 00:31:55,023
You get the impression that a
woman is stepping on his member.

411
00:31:55,047 --> 00:31:56,805
It's all purple, look!

412
00:31:56,829 --> 00:32:00,328
And here he was playing with the boots,
alone,

413
00:32:00,352 --> 00:32:03,692
wishing for a woman in
these boots to step on his feet.

414
00:32:03,716 --> 00:32:10,298
They offered me anything I wanted,
just to do this stuff with them.

415
00:32:10,322 --> 00:32:12,240
Did they send you letters?

416
00:32:12,264 --> 00:32:13,061
And pictures...

417
00:32:13,085 --> 00:32:14,743
How many letters did you receive?

418
00:32:14,767 --> 00:32:22,431
When I worked for Rudolf magazine,
I received more than 300 letters a month.

419
00:32:22,455 --> 00:32:29,818
There's a story about me there... The
reporter went with me to the post office,

420
00:32:29,842 --> 00:32:33,226
I opened the P.O. box and
they streamed onto my lap.

421
00:32:37,230 --> 00:32:39,808
I couldn't even think
about going to bed with him.

422
00:32:39,832 --> 00:32:47,036
But he took the picture and hid it,
and said he'd only give it back if I went.

423
00:32:47,060 --> 00:32:50,319
He would recognize me,
because he had a picture of me.

424
00:32:50,343 --> 00:32:52,202
But I didn't know who he was.

425
00:32:52,226 --> 00:32:56,576
And when I got there, he was this…

426
00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:59,148
I took one look at him
and I was disgusted.

427
00:32:59,172 --> 00:33:04,974
He was so ugly, he'd said he
was good-looking, tall, strong…

428
00:33:04,998 --> 00:33:09,939
I was so angry that I
had to go to bed with him,

429
00:33:09,963 --> 00:33:14,063
to do what he wanted
to get my picture back.

430
00:33:14,087 --> 00:33:15,845
When we got to the motel,

431
00:33:15,869 --> 00:33:21,671
what he really wanted was for me
to defecate so that he could eat it.

432
00:33:21,695 --> 00:33:23,853
He wanted my fecal matter.

433
00:33:23,877 --> 00:33:29,759
So… I don't know if it was my anger,
my feeling of disgust...

434
00:33:29,783 --> 00:33:33,423
But my gut refused to work.

435
00:33:33,447 --> 00:33:39,489
Then he had the idea to buy green bananas,
not too ripe, nor…

436
00:33:39,513 --> 00:33:41,631
and introduce them.

437
00:33:41,655 --> 00:33:44,504
He said,
"I'm going to introduce the banana

438
00:33:44,528 --> 00:33:48,078
and you hang in there,
it'll only take a little while."

439
00:33:48,102 --> 00:33:52,202
The banana really came out,
along with something else,

440
00:33:52,226 --> 00:33:57,307
but I didn't look to see
if he really swallowed it.

441
00:33:57,331 --> 00:34:00,731
I left there in disgust.

442
00:34:00,755 --> 00:34:06,697
After that, I learned that a lot of
people share that same pleasure.

443
00:34:06,721 --> 00:34:09,720
And I wrote an article about it,

444
00:34:09,744 --> 00:34:11,862
"Fascination with Feces",

445
00:34:11,886 --> 00:34:16,847
which was published in Rudolf, which
was a magazine of unusual sex practices.

446
00:34:16,871 --> 00:34:20,456
So you see how big the thing was.

447
00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:23,560
"FASCINATION WITH FECES" BY WILMA AZEVEDO

448
00:34:52,808 --> 00:34:56,116
After the beating,
the executioners will crucify me,

449
00:34:56,140 --> 00:34:58,490
fastening me to the cross with ropes

450
00:34:58,514 --> 00:35:02,338
like the two thieves were
crucified beside Jesus Christ.

451
00:35:03,579 --> 00:35:09,601
This is an example of the kinds of
punishment that your slave may suffer.

452
00:35:09,625 --> 00:35:12,924
I have already inflicted many
violent punishments on myself,

453
00:35:12,948 --> 00:35:16,928
like hot oil on my penis,
a stick in my urethra,

454
00:35:16,952 --> 00:35:21,717
the whipping of my sex until
it was covered with bruises.

455
00:35:23,679 --> 00:35:28,845
All these punishments, however,
made me reach the limit of my strength.

456
00:35:30,086 --> 00:35:34,586
But now, with you, my queen,

457
00:35:34,610 --> 00:35:39,361
or my executioners,
the blows will be inclement,

458
00:35:39,385 --> 00:35:44,460
and my lean,
impure flesh will be torn mercilessly.

459
00:35:46,182 --> 00:35:52,424
I must emphasize that joy and
pleasure are strictly for my executioners.

460
00:35:52,448 --> 00:35:55,632
For myself, only pain.

461
00:35:58,955 --> 00:35:59,431
During the execution, my mistress Wilma

462
00:35:59,455 --> 00:36:05,842
will notice that my penis
will never stand erect.

463
00:36:07,003 --> 00:36:10,483
I deserve only pain and suffering,

464
00:36:10,507 --> 00:36:14,054
so I do not think it will be
hard to find a group of people

465
00:36:14,078 --> 00:36:15,968
who will be willing to help me

466
00:36:15,992 --> 00:36:19,392
enforce this punishment on my body.

467
00:36:19,416 --> 00:36:23,036
I must also declare that,
besides being white and thin,

468
00:36:23,060 --> 00:36:29,723
I have a small cock and am therefore
incapable of satisfying my queen.

469
00:36:29,747 --> 00:36:35,969
Therefore, I must be tortured,
if possible, to death.

470
00:36:35,993 --> 00:36:39,493
In this regard, my queen Wilma knows that,
in other countries,

471
00:36:39,517 --> 00:36:45,122
worthless young men like
me offer to be executed.

472
00:36:46,203 --> 00:36:49,610
If you so desire,
and/or know a group of people

473
00:36:49,634 --> 00:36:52,966
who have a remote,
isolated place available,

474
00:36:52,990 --> 00:36:58,592
I offer my body to be
barbarously tortured.

475
00:36:58,616 --> 00:37:01,279
To be flogged until my cock is cut off,

476
00:37:01,303 --> 00:37:04,858
to have my nipples plucked
out with red-hot pincers,

477
00:37:04,882 --> 00:37:09,964
to have my anus and urethra
burned with red-hot iron,

478
00:37:09,988 --> 00:37:16,220
to have my scrotum cut open and my balls
pulled out or ripped apart with pincers,

479
00:37:16,244 --> 00:37:20,655
to be crucified on the cross with nails,
and, as a stroke of mercy,

480
00:37:20,679 --> 00:37:22,812
instead of a spear in my heart,

481
00:37:22,836 --> 00:37:26,225
my executioners will
thrust one up my anus,

482
00:37:26,249 --> 00:37:30,204
piercing my guts until it
comes out of my mouth.

483
00:37:30,228 --> 00:37:32,426
I am single, I have no family,

484
00:37:32,450 --> 00:37:36,122
I can sign a statement
explaining my attitudes

485
00:37:36,146 --> 00:37:39,654
and taking full responsibility for my act.

486
00:37:39,678 --> 00:37:44,260
Therefore, I recommend
that you not publish this letter,

487
00:37:44,284 --> 00:37:52,247
so that I may somehow realize the
final execution of my wretched body.

488
00:37:52,271 --> 00:37:57,452
Signed: Your slave sentenced to death.

489
00:37:57,476 --> 00:38:04,563
Wanda, please, bring me those pictures,
so I can show you that day.

490
00:38:07,406 --> 00:38:12,027
When we arrived at the hotel,

491
00:38:12,051 --> 00:38:21,196
Cosam placed him on
a table and tied him up.

492
00:38:21,220 --> 00:38:28,343
Before that, he made him choose the
tool with which he was to be enslaved.

493
00:38:28,367 --> 00:38:31,086
These are Cosam's tools.

494
00:38:31,110 --> 00:38:36,235
He'd taken this one here, which I'd never
seen, but he describes in the letter.

495
00:38:37,437 --> 00:38:41,737
It's a double-ended dildo.

496
00:38:41,761 --> 00:38:50,386
Then he wrapped it up
with extra coarse sandpaper…

497
00:38:50,410 --> 00:38:59,916
He wanted us to penetrate him in
the anus with this artificial member…

498
00:38:59,940 --> 00:39:06,863
This would tear him apart.
The sandpaper was really rough.

499
00:39:06,887 --> 00:39:11,287
So… he said that he wanted that,

500
00:39:11,311 --> 00:39:14,696
And Cosam had very rough-and-ready tools.

501
00:39:14,720 --> 00:39:16,893
These handcuffs are made of iron,

502
00:39:16,917 --> 00:39:23,359
this is a nail-studded slipper,
which he used to punish his slaves.

503
00:39:23,383 --> 00:39:29,926
But, in reality,
even Cosam had all that as symbolism.

504
00:39:29,950 --> 00:39:33,350
He never really used any of these.

505
00:39:33,374 --> 00:39:35,732
He just thought they looked nice.

506
00:39:35,756 --> 00:39:38,715
I never used any of it myself.

507
00:39:38,739 --> 00:39:41,598
So he chose the hardest whip.

508
00:39:41,622 --> 00:39:47,984
Then Cosam whipped him,
leaving him severely scarred.

509
00:39:48,008 --> 00:39:50,607
And I started feeling bad
about the whole thing…

510
00:39:50,631 --> 00:39:57,574
He was lying there, and he really
did have a very small member.

511
00:39:57,598 --> 00:40:04,802
He'd asked to have it all pulled out,
to have the inside of his urethra burned…

512
00:40:04,826 --> 00:40:08,946
and when Cosam turned him on his stomach

513
00:40:08,970 --> 00:40:12,940
and opened his anus with a gynecological…

514
00:40:12,964 --> 00:40:17,555
speculum, is it?

515
00:40:17,579 --> 00:40:20,598
And he drew the cigarette
near to burn him inside...

516
00:40:20,622 --> 00:40:25,182
I went into the tub with the young man,
but to show him

517
00:40:25,206 --> 00:40:28,826
how hard it would be to handle all that,

518
00:40:28,850 --> 00:40:32,210
I scratched his back with my fingernails

519
00:40:32,234 --> 00:40:36,758
till it bled and rubbed lemon on it.

520
00:40:40,922 --> 00:40:43,501
The salt… I poured
the salt into his urethra,

521
00:40:43,525 --> 00:40:51,894
because it would hurt a lot,
but it wouldn't damage any tissues, right?

522
00:41:21,804 --> 00:41:27,866
I got a phone call from a woman, saying,

523
00:41:27,890 --> 00:41:33,692
"If you want to come, today there
will be a meeting in our apartment",

524
00:41:33,716 --> 00:41:37,316
and I agreed to go.

525
00:41:37,340 --> 00:41:43,482
There was a whip, handcuffs,
there were some tools in the room...

526
00:41:43,506 --> 00:41:47,907
And regular furniture. But
the apartment was very dusty...

527
00:41:47,931 --> 00:41:52,832
Then I said, "Funny,
I hide all my S&M gear,

528
00:41:52,856 --> 00:41:54,894
"and you display them all on the walls.

529
00:41:54,918 --> 00:41:56,455
"Don't you have kids?"

530
00:41:56,485 --> 00:41:59,136
- "Oh, we have a son."
- "How old is he?"

531
00:41:59,161 --> 00:42:01,050
"Eighteen," he said,

532
00:42:01,075 --> 00:42:05,196
"but he doesn't care about it,
we have a farm

533
00:42:05,221 --> 00:42:08,394
"and I tell him it's
horseback riding gear."

534
00:42:08,419 --> 00:42:12,059
The bell rang,
he opened the door and a man walked in.

535
00:42:12,084 --> 00:42:16,581
He said, "This is my son."
But he looked like he was 30.

536
00:42:16,606 --> 00:42:21,793
That man was not 18. And
he'd said his son was 18.

537
00:42:21,818 --> 00:42:27,279
The man greeted me and
went into the next room,

538
00:42:27,304 --> 00:42:33,517
there was this closet dividing both rooms.

539
00:42:33,542 --> 00:42:38,663
He moved some stuff behind
the closet and then he left.

540
00:42:38,688 --> 00:42:43,613
After he left, I heard the
whirring of an electronic device,

541
00:42:43,638 --> 00:42:48,208
like a microphone or something.

542
00:42:48,233 --> 00:42:50,283
- A recording?
- Yes, a recording.

543
00:42:51,319 --> 00:42:55,040
They asked a lot of questions
and I answered them.

544
00:42:55,065 --> 00:43:01,659
They asked me a lot about how I tortured
my slaves, what I did, what I didn't do.

545
00:43:01,684 --> 00:43:07,780
Then they suggested that I rent a
house and take all my slaves there.

546
00:43:07,805 --> 00:43:11,892
It was a house in Barra neighborhood,

547
00:43:11,916 --> 00:43:14,961
one of the first group sex venues.

548
00:43:14,986 --> 00:43:19,959
They would help pay
and organize the meeting,

549
00:43:19,984 --> 00:43:29,483
because they wanted me to teach
my techniques for torturing my slaves,

550
00:43:29,508 --> 00:43:34,507
which I had created on my own.

551
00:43:34,532 --> 00:43:37,714
It all sounded very strange to me

552
00:43:37,739 --> 00:43:40,726
and when we finished the session,

553
00:43:40,750 --> 00:43:43,965
he said that he was going
to drive me home.

554
00:43:43,990 --> 00:43:46,386
Their apartment was in Lapa,

555
00:43:46,410 --> 00:43:49,901
and I said "There's no need,
my car is parked out there on the street."

556
00:43:49,926 --> 00:43:53,068
I drove down Santa Luzia Street,
past Praça XV,

557
00:43:53,093 --> 00:43:56,608
and suddenly I saw that he
was right behind me in his car.

558
00:43:56,633 --> 00:44:01,253
I drove faster but he kept following me.

559
00:44:01,278 --> 00:44:04,590
I stopped at the lights
and saw him behind me,

560
00:44:04,614 --> 00:44:07,852
and then he disappeared
for a good stretch.

561
00:44:07,877 --> 00:44:11,205
But when I turned onto Dom Pedro Street,

562
00:44:11,229 --> 00:44:18,260
I made him out far behind me,
it was already late at night…

563
00:44:18,284 --> 00:44:26,428
I took a quick turn onto a
narrow street and he drove past it.

564
00:44:26,452 --> 00:44:32,576
The next day the telephone
rings and a man's voice tells me,

565
00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:37,011
"Wilma, now I know your full name
all I need to know now is your address."

566
00:44:37,036 --> 00:44:40,126
At first I thought that it
was someone pulling my leg.

567
00:44:40,151 --> 00:44:43,846
So I said, "Then take a pen,
and I'll give you my address."

568
00:44:43,871 --> 00:44:47,544
Then he said,
"When you show up dead in the mangrove,

569
00:44:47,568 --> 00:44:49,753
"with your mouth full of ants,

570
00:44:49,778 --> 00:44:53,898
"I bet you won't find it funny." Because
I had laughed, thinking it was a friend.

571
00:44:53,923 --> 00:44:56,944
Then I realized that it was for real.

572
00:44:56,969 --> 00:45:02,434
So I hung up and then talked to my lawyer

573
00:45:02,458 --> 00:45:09,228
and we found out that it
was a team of detectives who

574
00:45:09,253 --> 00:45:12,520
were after me to teach
them how to torture,

575
00:45:12,545 --> 00:45:16,684
and she told me that
they would pay very well

576
00:45:16,708 --> 00:45:20,896
for me to present a
session enslaving my slaves.

577
00:45:20,920 --> 00:45:25,156
But I refused to do it, because,
if they were detectives,

578
00:45:25,180 --> 00:45:28,599
they were linked to the police,
to the repression,

579
00:45:28,623 --> 00:45:32,904
to the dictatorship, and I would
never collaborate with such a thing.

580
00:45:32,929 --> 00:45:37,611
My tortures were erotics

581
00:45:37,635 --> 00:45:42,735
and had nothing to do
with what they were after.

582
00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:45,760
M TORTURED BY WILMA

583
00:46:08,790 --> 00:46:11,628
STRIP, BOW DOWN, OBEY, BE HUMBLE

584
00:46:11,659 --> 00:46:14,398
She was about to open the curtains,
she said,

585
00:46:14,422 --> 00:46:19,303
"We're going to put on a show
that's only performed in New York.

586
00:46:19,327 --> 00:46:23,087
It's the first time we
perform it here in Brazil."

587
00:46:23,111 --> 00:46:25,231
When she opened the curtains,

588
00:46:25,255 --> 00:46:29,434
there were two gay men,
two lesbians and a normal couple.

589
00:46:29,458 --> 00:46:33,017
But they were naked,
having sex. That really shocked me.

590
00:46:33,041 --> 00:46:39,364
I was used to nightclub shows
where there would be stripping,

591
00:46:39,388 --> 00:46:44,269
but at the end they
always had a codpiece on.

592
00:46:44,293 --> 00:46:51,856
But now, besides being stark naked,
they were having sex.

593
00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:54,204
So it shocked me a little…

594
00:46:56,504 --> 00:46:59,829
the gay men were doing a 69,

595
00:47:00,950 --> 00:47:04,369
the lesbians were scissoring

596
00:47:04,393 --> 00:47:07,532
and the normal couple was at the back.

597
00:47:07,556 --> 00:47:11,416
That was the show,
a fuckfest on the stage.

598
00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:19,685
I smoked a lot in those days,
I really wanted to quit but I couldn't.

599
00:47:19,709 --> 00:47:23,429
I was smoking my cigarette,
watching the show, but I was so shocked

600
00:47:23,453 --> 00:47:30,340
that I put the cigarette down in
the ashtray and was about to leave.

601
00:47:32,702 --> 00:47:35,561
People were standing
at the edge of the stage,

602
00:47:35,585 --> 00:47:39,145
they were leaning in to
have a better look at the back.

603
00:47:39,169 --> 00:47:45,251
She noticed it, so she told
the couple that was in the back,

604
00:47:45,275 --> 00:47:48,047
"You two, come here to the front,

605
00:47:48,071 --> 00:47:53,880
"people who come to this club are
not used to seeing missionary sex."

606
00:47:53,904 --> 00:47:56,302
They were enjoying it so much that they...

607
00:47:56,326 --> 00:47:59,540
The third time,
she held out her hand and said,

608
00:47:59,564 --> 00:48:02,568
"In the name of Jesus, I'm talking to you.

609
00:48:02,592 --> 00:48:06,673
Jesus's blood is powerful. Now
you will hear me, come to the front!"

610
00:48:06,697 --> 00:48:10,997
That gave me a horrible
chill. For god's sake,

611
00:48:11,021 --> 00:48:15,321
in a place like that you
play with Jesus' name?

612
00:48:15,345 --> 00:48:18,909
It's one of the first
commandments of the Bible,

613
00:48:18,933 --> 00:48:23,029
"You shall not misuse the
name of the lord your god."

614
00:48:23,053 --> 00:48:28,776
At that moment I started
to feel sick and I fainted.

615
00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:32,099
Then the next day I went looking
for a church and I became a believer

616
00:48:32,123 --> 00:48:35,842
and was baptized in the waters and told
the waters to wash Wilma Azevedo away.

617
00:48:35,866 --> 00:48:39,026
And I walked out as Edivina.

618
00:48:39,050 --> 00:48:40,227
Wanda!

619
00:48:40,251 --> 00:48:42,493
Come here a second.

620
00:48:44,936 --> 00:48:48,820
Could you please put
the armchair there for me?

621
00:48:55,066 --> 00:48:56,243
Like this?

622
00:48:56,267 --> 00:48:57,404
Yes.

623
00:48:57,428 --> 00:49:01,392
Will you bring me that bag over there?

624
00:49:04,035 --> 00:49:07,154
- The big one?
- Yes, that one.

625
00:49:07,178 --> 00:49:10,017
Wow, it's heavy!

626
00:49:10,041 --> 00:49:14,262
I'll show you the pieces I used.

627
00:49:14,286 --> 00:49:20,888
One of the dresses I wore was this one,
for the parties.

628
00:49:20,912 --> 00:49:22,536
Red and black.

629
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:25,673
- Is it leather?
- It's leather.

630
00:49:25,697 --> 00:49:28,540
There were many pieces...

631
00:49:33,025 --> 00:49:35,203
Do you think it'll fit me?

632
00:49:35,227 --> 00:49:38,857
I don't think you'll have to wear it.

633
00:49:38,881 --> 00:49:43,836
This piece here you'll use on the slave.

634
00:49:44,957 --> 00:49:49,057
You'll put it in the mouth

635
00:49:49,081 --> 00:49:52,577
and there's a little tube
that you attach here,

636
00:49:52,601 --> 00:49:55,564
which connects straight to the member.

637
00:49:55,588 --> 00:49:59,788
He will urinate and be
forced to drink his own urine.

638
00:49:59,812 --> 00:50:06,755
I sold most of what I had to dominants.

639
00:50:06,779 --> 00:50:11,693
Then I kept some that were
more interesting, more classic,

640
00:50:11,717 --> 00:50:14,643
that weren't sold here in Brazil.

641
00:50:14,667 --> 00:50:21,150
Because I knew that someday someone would
be interested in taking over my position.

642
00:50:21,174 --> 00:50:25,174
I was going to hand it down
to some dominatrix, see?

643
00:50:25,198 --> 00:50:32,141
So this one is placed on the
member and tied at the back.

644
00:50:32,165 --> 00:50:38,207
It's a more modern
type of a devil's harness.

645
00:50:38,231 --> 00:50:41,815
This is a...

646
00:50:47,260 --> 00:50:50,239
This is a muzzle.

647
00:50:50,263 --> 00:50:52,281
- What is it called?
- A muzzle.

648
00:50:52,305 --> 00:50:56,626
You put it on like this
and tie it at the back

649
00:50:56,650 --> 00:50:59,553
so the slave can't speak.

650
00:51:01,194 --> 00:51:02,876
So this one you put on the nipples.

651
00:51:03,877 --> 00:51:06,280
She isn't cut out to be a dominatrix.

652
00:51:07,881 --> 00:51:13,032
You have to put this one on the nipple,
but the moment you do that,

653
00:51:13,056 --> 00:51:17,607
you take a deep breath and
throw your conscience out.

654
00:51:17,631 --> 00:51:18,989
How do I do that?

655
00:51:19,013 --> 00:51:21,391
Indeed, it takes spiritual strength.

656
00:51:21,415 --> 00:51:26,376
At that moment I am no longer Edivina,
I am Wilma Azevedo.

657
00:51:26,400 --> 00:51:29,590
And Wilma Azevedo
is not afraid of anything,

658
00:51:29,614 --> 00:51:32,282
she is not disgusted with anything…

659
00:51:32,306 --> 00:51:36,141
You have to do everything
that could please the person

660
00:51:36,165 --> 00:51:38,548
who chooses you as a dominatrix.

661
00:51:38,572 --> 00:51:44,615
I find masochists very creative.

662
00:51:44,639 --> 00:51:52,002
Whatever they look at, they figure
out a way to be tortured with it.

663
00:51:52,026 --> 00:51:55,376
Whatever they look at,
they come up with something.

664
00:51:55,400 --> 00:51:59,650
This one is a popular utensil in Germany,
I guess you've seen it.

665
00:51:59,674 --> 00:52:03,174
- For cutting eggs?
- Yes. You know it.

666
00:52:03,198 --> 00:52:08,939
He saw it there and thought it
would make a good torturing tool,

667
00:52:08,963 --> 00:52:12,707
to put it around the
member and then press it.

668
00:52:14,349 --> 00:52:20,051
And it really squeezes the member.

669
00:52:20,075 --> 00:52:24,475
You must have a lot of sensitivity.
In order not to hurt too much, right?

670
00:52:24,499 --> 00:52:26,576
No, you can't hurt too much.

671
00:52:26,600 --> 00:52:29,480
I made this one myself.

672
00:52:29,504 --> 00:52:30,301
It's nice!

673
00:52:30,325 --> 00:52:34,045
To perform in public, to be photographed.

674
00:52:34,069 --> 00:52:37,496
It was… symbolism right?

675
00:52:37,520 --> 00:52:39,456
I hardly used this whip.

676
00:52:39,480 --> 00:52:40,992
It's too light, eh?

677
00:52:41,016 --> 00:52:44,896
This one I bought in front
of the Louvre museum,

678
00:52:44,920 --> 00:52:47,839
there was a man selling it.

679
00:52:47,863 --> 00:52:52,384
Yeah, there are amazing stores in France.

680
00:52:52,408 --> 00:52:55,827
There are! So, he was selling it and

681
00:52:55,851 --> 00:52:59,216
I liked it and bought it.

682
00:52:59,240 --> 00:53:03,115
It reaches far in the distance.

683
00:53:03,139 --> 00:53:05,157
Did you learn how to use it?

684
00:53:05,181 --> 00:53:07,499
No.

685
00:53:07,523 --> 00:53:11,136
But at Dominna Club,
they used this whip a lot,

686
00:53:11,160 --> 00:53:18,496
to make demonstrations... it works well.

687
00:53:18,520 --> 00:53:21,794
This is the most symbolic one.

688
00:53:21,818 --> 00:53:28,000
There was a shoemaker in São
José dos Campos who was very poor.

689
00:53:28,024 --> 00:53:35,948
So I asked him to make many of them, based
on several models that I'd seen abroad.

690
00:53:35,972 --> 00:53:42,136
This is one of them. There were others,
I don't know where they are…

691
00:53:42,160 --> 00:53:47,960
It's well-finished,
well done. Once he got curious,

692
00:53:47,984 --> 00:53:51,284
"But where do you take all these whips?"

693
00:53:51,308 --> 00:53:53,146
I was selling them, right?

694
00:53:53,170 --> 00:53:55,110
- Like this?
- Yes.

695
00:53:56,693 --> 00:53:59,977
In my pictures I'm... in that one there,
look.

696
00:54:02,179 --> 00:54:06,263
It also protects you, right? I had it on
there. Sometimes I wore it upside down.

697
00:54:09,506 --> 00:54:13,831
This one should fit you.

698
00:54:16,473 --> 00:54:20,213
It's the alarm. I have to turn it off.

699
00:54:20,237 --> 00:54:22,960
Cut! Bring me my handbag.

700
00:54:24,802 --> 00:54:27,120
It's my medication.

701
00:54:27,144 --> 00:54:28,862
For what?

702
00:54:28,886 --> 00:54:31,064
High blood pressure.

703
00:54:31,088 --> 00:54:33,166
Do you have high blood pressure?

704
00:54:33,190 --> 00:54:35,012
I am hypertensive.

705
00:54:36,254 --> 00:54:39,257
Be quiet. Do as I say!

706
00:56:55,235 --> 00:57:01,097
My name is Edivina Azevedo Ribeiro,
I'm 74 years old.

707
00:57:01,121 --> 00:57:06,062
I was born in São José dos Campos,
I'm a journalist and a writer.

708
00:57:06,086 --> 00:57:13,089
I created the character Wilma
Azevedo to be part of all my erotic,

709
00:57:13,113 --> 00:57:15,251
sometimes even pornographic narratives.

710
00:57:15,275 --> 00:57:17,474
As I studied sadomasochism,

711
00:57:17,498 --> 00:57:24,861
this character lived on because
Edivina is too sublime to write erotica.

712
00:57:24,885 --> 00:57:30,071
And Wilma is vile (vil) and bad (má), and
being vile and bad I could write anything.

713
00:57:40,081 --> 00:57:42,539
My mother had made a
promise to the divine holy spirit.

714
00:57:42,563 --> 00:57:47,839
If the delivery went well -
she was 42 years old when I was born -

715
00:57:50,539 --> 00:57:54,936
after 17 children she'd had,
I was the tenth to be born alive.

716
00:57:54,960 --> 00:58:00,638
She said that she was going
to name me Divina (divine),

717
00:58:00,662 --> 00:58:04,616
and the registry officer added an
"e" at the beginning, to my relief.

718
00:58:04,640 --> 00:58:09,208
Even so, the boys would always shout,
"Hey, Divine Holy Spirit,"

719
00:58:09,233 --> 00:58:12,089
because I was very playful and energetic.

720
00:58:12,113 --> 00:58:14,756
They called me that and I hated it.

721
00:58:27,869 --> 00:58:33,882
Around that time I was already curious
about how we came into the world.

722
00:58:33,906 --> 00:58:40,736
So I was playing with a cat and my mother
said, "Let the cat go, she's pregnant!"

723
00:58:40,760 --> 00:58:43,902
I asked her, "What's pregnant?"

724
00:58:43,926 --> 00:58:45,656
"Oh, you're too young to know!"

725
00:58:45,680 --> 00:58:51,249
There - it aroused
my sexological sensitivity.

726
00:58:51,273 --> 00:58:56,174
When I saw a smaller
opening and a liquid trickling out,

727
00:58:56,198 --> 00:59:00,659
I was astonished to know that it was
through it that we came into the world.

728
00:59:00,683 --> 00:59:06,765
When my sister arrived from school, I
asked her, "Do you know how we are born?"

729
00:59:06,789 --> 00:59:11,390
She said no. I said,
"It's through there," I explained.

730
00:59:11,414 --> 00:59:16,875
Then she said, "You're a liar,
you're always making up things."

731
00:59:16,899 --> 00:59:21,776
She even wanted to knock on my head,
which was usual then, right?

732
00:59:21,800 --> 00:59:28,447
So I ran off, thinking, "Fine,
I'll leave her in her ignorance!"

733
00:59:28,471 --> 00:59:32,611
But I kept searching for
more information about it…

734
00:59:32,635 --> 00:59:37,717
Then I saw some kittens
sucking on their mother,

735
00:59:37,741 --> 00:59:41,881
and I thought "It would be
nice if they sucked on me."

736
00:59:41,905 --> 00:59:47,667
So I poured sugary milk on myself
and put the little critters on top of me.

737
00:59:47,691 --> 00:59:53,272
I really liked how
their rough tongues felt.

738
00:59:53,296 --> 00:59:56,516
A child's play, I was so innocent.

739
00:59:56,540 --> 00:59:59,979
But I was afraid someone would see me,

740
01:00:00,003 --> 01:00:06,759
so I made a tent with some blankets
that were lying on a horse cart,

741
01:00:06,783 --> 01:00:09,008
and I sneaked under them with the kitten.

742
01:00:09,032 --> 01:00:12,632
I was taking great pleasure in it,

743
01:00:12,656 --> 01:00:19,779
and there was a tear in the blanket
that was shaped like a triangle.

744
01:00:19,803 --> 01:00:23,563
I looked and there was
an eye there staring at me.

745
01:00:23,587 --> 01:00:27,507
I put the kitten down and went looking
for the person who'd been peeking at me.

746
01:00:27,531 --> 01:00:31,271
My brother was helping
my father build a wall.

747
01:00:31,295 --> 01:00:34,935
My mother was crocheting.

748
01:00:34,959 --> 01:00:37,827
My sister was sorting
beans in the kitchen,

749
01:00:37,851 --> 01:00:41,061
I walked past her but
she didn't even look up.

750
01:00:41,085 --> 01:00:45,886
I wondered, "Who could it be? There
was someone, an eye on that triangle."

751
01:00:45,910 --> 01:00:52,813
Then I went to the church, which at
the time was the church of Saint Anthony,

752
01:00:52,837 --> 01:00:58,539
where there was a picture with a
huge triangle and an eye inside it.

753
01:00:58,563 --> 01:01:01,656
Then I thought,
"Is this eye that was watching me?"

754
01:01:01,680 --> 01:01:06,087
I asked the catechist,
"Whose eye is this?"

755
01:01:06,111 --> 01:01:11,272
She said,
"It's God's. God sees us wherever we are.

756
01:01:11,296 --> 01:01:16,818
He is omnipresent and omniscient.

757
01:01:16,842 --> 01:01:21,282
He sees everything you do. So,
if you're going to do first communion,

758
01:01:21,306 --> 01:01:24,145
you have to tell the priest everything."

759
01:01:24,169 --> 01:01:29,150
And I thought, "So it was him who saw me,
what a prankish god, he is!"

760
01:01:29,174 --> 01:01:31,457
And I promised never to do it again.

761
01:01:35,300 --> 01:01:39,776
One day I was tending my
little plants in the garden,

762
01:01:39,800 --> 01:01:43,705
and two nuns came and
asked to speak to my mother.

763
01:01:43,729 --> 01:01:49,731
They told my mother that they were looking
for girls who wanted to go to school

764
01:01:49,755 --> 01:01:51,772
at the São José Institute of Education.

765
01:01:51,797 --> 01:01:55,729
I had no interest in
what they were saying,

766
01:01:55,753 --> 01:02:00,602
but then she told my
mother that they put on plays

767
01:02:00,626 --> 01:02:10,256
on Mothers' Day, at Easter,
and other holidays...

768
01:02:10,280 --> 01:02:13,615
That they had a drama club…
There - she'd said the magic word!

769
01:02:13,639 --> 01:02:21,616
I let go of the plants and asked the nun
if I went there, if I would be an artist…

770
01:02:21,640 --> 01:02:25,376
"Of course, you can join the drama club!"

771
01:02:25,400 --> 01:02:30,673
So I packed and went with the nun,
I didn't understand much.

772
01:02:30,697 --> 01:02:36,899
When the nuns walked by me and said,
"Praised be Our Lord Jesus Christ,"

773
01:02:36,923 --> 01:02:39,336
I had to answer,
"Forever may He be praised."

774
01:02:39,360 --> 01:02:41,484
I was like, "Oh, okay."

775
01:02:41,508 --> 01:02:46,048
The girls will sing hymns,
dressed as flowers,

776
01:02:46,072 --> 01:02:50,093
and you'll walk among them
with a basket full of roses

777
01:02:50,117 --> 01:02:53,956
and they will pick up the roses
and hand them to their mothers,

778
01:02:53,980 --> 01:02:56,659
who will walk up to the
stage to receive them."

779
01:02:56,683 --> 01:03:00,078
I was so happy in that crepe paper skirt.

780
01:03:00,102 --> 01:03:03,496
I was the florist and
they were the flowers.

781
01:03:03,520 --> 01:03:06,509
I was carrying the basket,

782
01:03:06,533 --> 01:03:10,487
but no-one told me that at the
bottom there was a can full of water,

783
01:03:10,511 --> 01:03:12,275
so the flowers wouldn't wilt.

784
01:03:12,299 --> 01:03:17,220
They should have removed that can,
but hadn't, so as I walked,

785
01:03:17,244 --> 01:03:22,696
water kept dripping down my paper skirt,
leaving me naked on the stage.

786
01:03:22,720 --> 01:03:26,389
Everyone was laughing
and I didn't know why.

787
01:03:26,413 --> 01:03:29,973
Then I looked down and saw my bare legs,

788
01:03:29,997 --> 01:03:34,382
and the nun pulled me off the
stage and never gave me a part again.

789
01:03:51,579 --> 01:03:54,169
On my honeymoon,
I was not having fun at all.

790
01:03:54,193 --> 01:03:56,665
We were in Caraguatatuba, a seaside town.

791
01:03:56,689 --> 01:04:02,193
It was in a hotel, the Sao Antao Hotel.

792
01:04:02,217 --> 01:04:06,931
When we arrived at the hotel, there
were 5 other couples on their honeymoon.

793
01:04:06,955 --> 01:04:12,296
I thought they looked so happy.

794
01:04:12,320 --> 01:04:17,882
But when I was with him,

795
01:04:17,906 --> 01:04:23,628
he would come, do it,
turn on his side and sleep.

796
01:04:23,652 --> 01:04:27,652
I didn't find it pleasurable at all.

797
01:04:27,676 --> 01:04:33,998
I didn't understand why those girls
on their honeymoon looked so happy.

798
01:04:34,022 --> 01:04:40,816
One day they invited us to go to
Sino Rock, there in Caraguatatuba.

799
01:04:40,840 --> 01:04:47,016
So I said, "Let's walk along the beach,
pick up some shells."

800
01:04:47,040 --> 01:04:53,498
And we went. Then suddenly
I felt like skinny-dipping.

801
01:04:53,522 --> 01:04:56,321
It was a deserted beach,
no one would see, right?

802
01:04:56,345 --> 01:05:02,087
But he didn't want to. Then I took off
his shorts, dragged him into the water,

803
01:05:02,111 --> 01:05:08,934
and when we were in, I started to curl
up around him, and he got a hard-on.

804
01:05:08,958 --> 01:05:14,800
When we reached the sand, I threw him
on the ground and climbed on top of him,

805
01:05:14,824 --> 01:05:20,085
and when I started to rub myself on him,
I had an orgasm.

806
01:05:20,109 --> 01:05:22,468
I didn't know what that was.

807
01:05:22,492 --> 01:05:26,753
I was startled when I
felt that sensation surging

808
01:05:26,777 --> 01:05:32,018
and suddenly I felt the most
delicious thing in the world.

809
01:05:32,042 --> 01:05:35,962
I had never heard of an orgasm.

810
01:05:35,986 --> 01:05:39,524
I was so happy, but he was enraged,

811
01:05:39,548 --> 01:05:44,710
because I was doing a
sexual act in broad daylight,

812
01:05:44,734 --> 01:05:48,715
naked on the beach, thinking it
was beautiful… He was so angry.

813
01:05:48,739 --> 01:05:54,721
We had a bar in the central market,
and I made a lot of snacks for the bar.

814
01:05:54,745 --> 01:05:58,865
I needed someone to help
me with the small children,

815
01:05:58,889 --> 01:06:06,292
so I brought a young girl in, she came
to my house when she was 8 years old.

816
01:06:06,316 --> 01:06:15,302
She was an ugly duckling,
her clothes were so shabby.

817
01:06:15,326 --> 01:06:18,805
I fixed the little girl up and
when she grew a little older,

818
01:06:18,829 --> 01:06:23,550
she had very thick eyebrows,
at the time we wore them really thin.

819
01:06:23,574 --> 01:06:26,733
So I plucked her eyebrows.

820
01:06:26,757 --> 01:06:33,280
She had straight hair, and a
product to do perms had just come out.

821
01:06:33,304 --> 01:06:35,482
I rolled up her hair and permed it.

822
01:06:35,506 --> 01:06:38,345
All I know is that I
prettied that girl up,

823
01:06:38,369 --> 01:06:44,491
and after three years she was in my house
I found out she was my husband's lover.

824
01:06:44,515 --> 01:06:47,475
I felt really, really angry...

825
01:06:47,499 --> 01:06:51,345
Then I remembered that the only weapon

826
01:06:51,369 --> 01:06:56,536
I could bury deep within
him was a barbecue skewer.

827
01:06:56,560 --> 01:07:00,087
So I started looking for that skewer,
but I didn't know where it was.

828
01:07:00,111 --> 01:07:01,750
It was an iron skewer.

829
01:07:01,774 --> 01:07:06,714
I started throwing everything out of
the cupboards down onto the floor,

830
01:07:06,738 --> 01:07:09,237
yelling "You pig, you piece of shit!"

831
01:07:09,261 --> 01:07:11,739
I was bursting with anger.

832
01:07:11,763 --> 01:07:14,776
When my sister saw me, she was desperate.

833
01:07:14,800 --> 01:07:21,469
She said, "You'll end up killing each
other. Look, I'll talk to Mom and Dad,

834
01:07:21,493 --> 01:07:24,098
I'll take your kids,
and you go to São Paulo,

835
01:07:24,122 --> 01:07:27,976
to Ana's place, you get a job there,
you do the same as she did.

836
01:07:28,000 --> 01:07:32,056
You get your life together there,
and then you come get the kids."

837
01:07:32,080 --> 01:07:34,202
What made me the angriest
was my father saying,

838
01:07:34,245 --> 01:07:37,193
"Men are like that, you must accept it,

839
01:07:37,217 --> 01:07:41,607
"men are no good,
they can't have only one woman in life."

840
01:07:41,632 --> 01:07:45,159
It was the time when
I most wrote in my life,

841
01:07:45,183 --> 01:07:48,388
I wrote essays, short stories, poems...

842
01:07:48,413 --> 01:07:52,641
I wrote and wrote and wrote and stored
it all in a chest that I still have.

843
01:07:52,665 --> 01:07:54,407
I think you saw it in my house.

844
01:08:07,600 --> 01:08:11,680
I was looking for a
job but I had no degree.

845
01:08:11,704 --> 01:08:13,522
I'd only had elementary school education.

846
01:08:13,546 --> 01:08:17,416
At that time they already
asked for a high-school diploma.

847
01:08:17,440 --> 01:08:21,976
So it was hard. At last I found a job

848
01:08:22,000 --> 01:08:27,176
showcasing a little
machine called Maninha.

849
01:08:27,200 --> 01:08:31,340
I wore a polyester uniform,
it was very elegant.

850
01:08:31,364 --> 01:08:33,817
I went to a hairdresser school every day

851
01:08:33,841 --> 01:08:36,726
to have my hair done
and I paid nothing for it.

852
01:08:36,750 --> 01:08:40,296
When I got to work I had
to stand in a shop window,

853
01:08:40,320 --> 01:08:45,180
I turned on a machine

854
01:08:47,080 --> 01:08:48,856
and it filled with water

855
01:08:48,880 --> 01:08:54,656
and washed clothes.

856
01:08:54,680 --> 01:08:59,028
I was hired to do a
demonstration of the little machine.

857
01:08:59,052 --> 01:09:02,332
I thought it was beautiful,
I felt like an artist.

858
01:09:02,356 --> 01:09:07,236
I stamped on a wet towel on the sidewalk
and then threw it into the machine.

859
01:09:07,260 --> 01:09:09,228
And within minutes -

860
01:09:09,252 --> 01:09:15,656
of course, it was just dust - I would
take out the towel that was filthy before,

861
01:09:15,680 --> 01:09:19,296
and I would show it and say,
"Look how efficient the machine is!"

862
01:09:19,320 --> 01:09:23,053
and I would say everything
that was scripted for me to say.

863
01:09:23,077 --> 01:09:24,875
Good morning.

864
01:09:24,899 --> 01:09:26,896
Hi, darling. How are you?

865
01:09:26,920 --> 01:09:31,902
I was in São Paulo doing this job
and one day I looked at the people there

866
01:09:31,926 --> 01:09:33,824
and he was standing among them.

867
01:09:33,848 --> 01:09:35,566
My husband, right there.

868
01:09:35,590 --> 01:09:37,275
Then I walked out of the window,

869
01:09:37,299 --> 01:09:40,416
he invited me for lunch,
and he asked me to come back home.

870
01:09:40,440 --> 01:09:42,696
We'd been separated for five months.

871
01:09:42,720 --> 01:09:48,038
I said, "Look, I don't want to go back.

872
01:09:48,062 --> 01:09:50,677
"But I'll think about it,"
for the children's sake,

873
01:09:50,701 --> 01:09:52,423
who were staying at my sister's.

874
01:09:52,447 --> 01:09:57,048
And I was having a hard time finding a
place for me and the kids in São Paulo.

875
01:09:57,072 --> 01:10:04,715
But in the meantime,
one day I was coming down the stairs,

876
01:10:04,739 --> 01:10:11,102
and I saw a man standing
at the bottom ogling me.

877
01:10:11,126 --> 01:10:16,387
When I reached the bottom he said,
"You look like my sister."

878
01:10:16,411 --> 01:10:19,971
Then he showed me a
picture of the woman...

879
01:10:19,995 --> 01:10:23,096
She was blonde like me,
but we didn't look alike at all.

880
01:10:23,120 --> 01:10:26,390
Then he said that he was shopping here in
Brazil

881
01:10:26,414 --> 01:10:29,056
and asked if I'd have lunch with him.

882
01:10:29,080 --> 01:10:31,933
During lunch, he held my hand,

883
01:10:31,957 --> 01:10:37,389
he kept caressing
it, and we arranged to go out at night.

884
01:10:37,413 --> 01:10:45,657
Then, when we were having sex, he was on
top of me and he started to slap my face.

885
01:10:45,681 --> 01:10:50,122
I was frightened by that,
I said, "Stop, stop it!"

886
01:10:50,146 --> 01:10:55,167
But when I looked at him he
was pale and his lips were purplish.

887
01:10:55,191 --> 01:11:02,274
So I jumped out of bed and went into
the bathroom, naked. It was freezing cold.

888
01:11:02,298 --> 01:11:05,136
He kept knocking on the door "Come out,
now!"

889
01:11:05,160 --> 01:11:13,866
And I was afraid to go out, I was crying
in there, then after about 40 minutes,

890
01:11:13,890 --> 01:11:20,793
I said, "I'm only leaving here if
you call the doorman and his wife."

891
01:11:20,817 --> 01:11:27,600
Then when I left, I felt free on the
street. I was afraid he'd come after me.

892
01:11:27,624 --> 01:11:33,025
So I left for my sister's place, thinking,
"What am I doing here in São Paulo?"

893
01:11:33,049 --> 01:11:37,412
And three days later
the newspapers reported

894
01:11:37,436 --> 01:11:45,899
that a prostitute had been strangled to
death with the cord of a floor polisher.

895
01:11:45,923 --> 01:11:48,759
There was a picture
of her killer in the paper,

896
01:11:48,783 --> 01:11:53,106
and, though his face was turned
to the side, I could tell it was him.

897
01:11:53,130 --> 01:11:58,491
And it was one of the reasons why I
decided to go back home. First, to study.

898
01:11:58,515 --> 01:12:02,336
To have an occupation. If
he didn't change his ways,

899
01:12:02,360 --> 01:12:06,156
I'd go back to São
Paulo with the children,

900
01:12:06,180 --> 01:12:09,683
I'd leave that small town

901
01:12:09,707 --> 01:12:12,085
and get on with my life.

902
01:12:12,109 --> 01:12:17,736
When I got my diploma,
I was afraid to show it to him.

903
01:12:17,760 --> 01:12:21,375
So I stuck it behind a painting,
which I still have.

904
01:12:21,399 --> 01:12:26,189
The typing diploma on the back,
and that figure on the front,

905
01:12:26,213 --> 01:12:28,922
a man looking at the sea at dusk.

906
01:12:28,946 --> 01:12:30,328
It's beautiful.

907
01:12:40,440 --> 01:12:41,876
"SAD QUEENS WHO DREAMS", BY EDIVINA

908
01:12:41,900 --> 01:12:43,376
I'M NOT A HAPPY WOMAN. I GOT MARRIED
AT 18, WAS A MOTHER AT 19 AND THEN 22.

909
01:12:43,400 --> 01:12:52,867
I was young, I was 23 years old. I
had decolored my hair for the first time.

910
01:12:52,891 --> 01:12:56,536
My hair was really blond and long,
and I set it with rollers.

911
01:12:56,560 --> 01:12:59,036
At night I removed the rollers

912
01:12:59,060 --> 01:13:02,816
and looked at him, for him to say,
"You look beautiful."

913
01:13:02,840 --> 01:13:05,720
And he said, "You look like a whore."

914
01:13:05,744 --> 01:13:08,302
Then I said, "Then I'll be a whore."

915
01:13:08,326 --> 01:13:14,088
Then I got to this office, they told me
that the doctor was young and handsome.

916
01:13:14,112 --> 01:13:16,831
I didn't know him, I'd never seen him.

917
01:13:16,855 --> 01:13:21,756
So I got there and he was very handsome,
of Turkish descent…

918
01:13:21,780 --> 01:13:25,756
I paid the doctor's fee,

919
01:13:25,780 --> 01:13:28,936
I entered the room, I sat down...

920
01:13:28,960 --> 01:13:34,816
I'd practiced what I was going to say,
but at the time I just said,

921
01:13:34,840 --> 01:13:37,189
"Doctor, I need a sexual act
for you to tell me how I am,

922
01:13:37,213 --> 01:13:40,395
"because my husband says that..."

923
01:13:40,419 --> 01:13:45,841
I kept on talking, "He always
says that I am too wide, too wet...

924
01:13:45,865 --> 01:13:49,816
"I think I was damaged
after my children were born."

925
01:13:49,840 --> 01:13:53,939
Then he got up, locked the door,
and walked towards me.

926
01:13:53,963 --> 01:13:57,913
I didn't even lie down,
we did it standing up.

927
01:13:57,937 --> 01:14:03,427
He penetrated me and he pulled it out soon
afterwards,

928
01:14:03,451 --> 01:14:07,383
he handed me a towel, I wiped myself.

929
01:14:07,407 --> 01:14:10,846
He cleaned himself in the sink.

930
01:14:10,870 --> 01:14:14,270
Then I sat down and asked,
"Doctor, what do you think?"

931
01:14:14,294 --> 01:14:17,853
He said,
"You're normal…" "But I get so wet!"

932
01:14:17,877 --> 01:14:22,778
He said, "You should be glad,
that's called smegma,

933
01:14:22,802 --> 01:14:27,416
which the body releases to prepare
the woman to receive the member.

934
01:14:27,440 --> 01:14:34,056
If you didn't have it, you'd be very
dry. It'd hurt the man, it'd hurt you.

935
01:14:34,080 --> 01:14:38,161
God makes things perfect.
Not all women have smegma.

936
01:14:38,185 --> 01:14:40,901
It's preparing you for pleasure."

937
01:15:00,000 --> 01:15:05,976
In a women's magazine, I saw a call:

938
01:15:06,000 --> 01:15:08,536
"Whoever has a short story lying around,

939
01:15:08,560 --> 01:15:11,096
send it to us to
participate in a contest."

940
01:15:11,120 --> 01:15:18,295
I had lots of stories lying in my chest,
so I chose one that I liked,

941
01:15:18,319 --> 01:15:21,718
rewrote it and sent it to the magazine.

942
01:15:21,742 --> 01:15:29,936
I got first place. Then I said, "Wow,
they give away prizes. Let's go claim it."

943
01:15:29,960 --> 01:15:36,033
We got to the office and met the editor,
Ignácio de Loyola Brandão.

944
01:15:36,057 --> 01:15:41,418
He gave me the prize -
100,000 cruzeiros. It was a lot of money.

945
01:15:41,442 --> 01:15:47,665
He handed it to me and said, "We have
received more than eighty short stories

946
01:15:47,689 --> 01:15:51,860
that were very well-written,

947
01:15:51,884 --> 01:16:00,538
with perfect spelling and grammar,
clean-typed, beautiful.

948
01:16:00,562 --> 01:16:02,800
But they don't have the talent you have.

949
01:16:02,824 --> 01:16:10,088
You wrote in hand, full of mistakes,
but you have talent.

950
01:16:10,112 --> 01:16:17,195
And you must fight for your talent. When
he said that, I left there feeling grand.

951
01:16:17,219 --> 01:16:22,480
And with those 100,000 in my pocket
I took my children to a jewelry store

952
01:16:22,504 --> 01:16:30,148
and spent it all on jewelry
for them and for myself.

953
01:16:30,172 --> 01:16:34,388
We had such a blast! It was the
first time I could give them something

954
01:16:34,412 --> 01:16:36,054
and pay with my own money.

955
01:16:36,078 --> 01:16:40,439
Wanda, will you bring me the folder,
please?

956
01:16:40,463 --> 01:16:42,825
Wow, it's heavy.

957
01:16:45,308 --> 01:16:52,651
Look, this is when I wrote as a
journalist in São José dos Campos.

958
01:16:52,675 --> 01:16:56,235
They are praising me,
saying that I had a lot of talent,

959
01:16:56,259 --> 01:17:00,399
that talent is something
that only God can give.

960
01:17:00,423 --> 01:17:04,382
I am tree time, and halt in
the middle of life, I dare to exist.

961
01:17:11,855 --> 01:17:19,418
Unaware that the power of the press was
waning, that the press was being gagged,

962
01:17:19,442 --> 01:17:22,842
I kept talking, pressing the mayor.

963
01:17:22,866 --> 01:17:27,424
Then he called the
owner of both newspapers

964
01:17:27,448 --> 01:17:31,571
and said that if they didn't fire me,

965
01:17:31,595 --> 01:17:36,019
he wouldn't open official
press bids any more.

966
01:17:36,043 --> 01:17:39,559
And the newspapers lived off them.

967
01:17:39,583 --> 01:17:44,243
So I was fired,
with a husband paralyzed on a bed.

968
01:17:44,267 --> 01:17:48,828
Because my husband had
had a stroke at 41 years old.

969
01:17:48,852 --> 01:17:57,037
At the time of his stroke I was 31,
he lasted 10 years on a bed.

970
01:17:57,061 --> 01:18:06,146
From my 31 to my 41 years of age, the time
a woman is at the peak of her sex drive,

971
01:18:06,170 --> 01:18:09,209
I looked after a sick husband
and two small children.

972
01:18:09,233 --> 01:18:13,736
I worked for many newspapers,
many magazines, earning little.

973
01:18:13,760 --> 01:18:17,505
I was unemployed for long periods,

974
01:18:17,529 --> 01:18:23,483
until I was hired by Bloch
to work for Amiga magazine,

975
01:18:23,507 --> 01:18:27,896
and I was already planning to
transfer to Manchete magazine

976
01:18:27,920 --> 01:18:31,416
when I found out that the
erotica segment paid better.

977
01:18:31,440 --> 01:18:36,837
And I had to write about something that
no other journalist was talking about.

978
01:18:36,861 --> 01:18:41,982
I'd spotted Man magazine in the
newsstands, it had amazing personal ads,

979
01:18:42,006 --> 01:18:47,328
and I started replying to
those ads very creatively,

980
01:18:47,352 --> 01:18:55,036
telling them what they liked to hear, I
created scenes as if it was a short story…

981
01:18:55,060 --> 01:18:57,536
And I started to receive letters.

982
01:18:57,560 --> 01:19:02,784
So I wrote the first article for Ele e
Ela magazine, which is this one here:

983
01:19:02,808 --> 01:19:06,922
"Confessions of a Sadomasochist",

984
01:19:06,946 --> 01:19:13,935
with photos by Isabel Stasiak,
an artist from that time.

985
01:19:13,959 --> 01:19:16,536
Later I wrote this one,
"My Experiences with Sadists."

986
01:19:16,560 --> 01:19:19,072
It came out in a small
publication inside Ele e Ela,

987
01:19:19,096 --> 01:19:21,162
so heavy was the subject matter for them.

988
01:19:21,186 --> 01:19:25,188
When we create based on a fantasy,
the images stick to our mind, don't they?

989
01:19:25,213 --> 01:19:26,270
That's true.

990
01:19:26,295 --> 01:19:29,776
And sometimes that's more intense
than having experienced something, right?

991
01:19:29,800 --> 01:19:35,111
You said you didn't like it,
but the images stayed with you.

992
01:19:35,135 --> 01:19:37,379
Didn't they torment you?

993
01:19:37,403 --> 01:19:42,584
No, because they were not my fantasies,
they were the reader's fantasies.

994
01:19:42,608 --> 01:19:45,988
He was the one who wrote me,
telling them to me.

995
01:19:46,012 --> 01:19:51,113
He told them in letters and I
developed them in a short story.

996
01:19:51,137 --> 01:19:56,358
But, for example, yesterday I was
just listening and I almost felt sick.

997
01:19:56,382 --> 01:19:59,717
I almost excused myself,
because the images,

998
01:19:59,741 --> 01:20:03,465
just from listening,
they popped up in my head.

999
01:20:03,489 --> 01:20:08,410
There was no way to
get them out. I felt sick.

1000
01:20:08,434 --> 01:20:13,315
So I Imagine you living with
these images from others' fantasies.

1001
01:20:13,339 --> 01:20:18,620
Then I put everything on
paper. I sublimated it completely.

1002
01:20:18,644 --> 01:20:23,906
Sometimes I saw the finished story,
and I didn't even reread it.

1003
01:20:23,930 --> 01:20:26,768
Because I knew that what I put on paper,
I sublimated.

1004
01:20:26,792 --> 01:20:28,250
I sublimated all that.

1005
01:20:28,625 --> 01:20:35,768
And I would live a normal life,
as Edivina, a loving woman,

1006
01:20:35,792 --> 01:20:41,018
- No nightmares?
- Nothing at all.

1007
01:20:41,292 --> 01:20:46,593
Wilma has her normal life, the one
she was talking about, to separate,

1008
01:20:46,617 --> 01:20:50,436
to get inside the character,
to write, to put on paper.

1009
01:20:50,460 --> 01:20:55,671
If I get inside Wilma,
I am completely inside her,

1010
01:20:55,695 --> 01:20:59,413
not in the other part of her life.

1011
01:20:59,438 --> 01:21:02,769
I see.

1012
01:21:02,794 --> 01:21:07,875
But you can take a lighter story,
like foot fetishism,

1013
01:21:07,899 --> 01:21:10,998
and you enslave a foot fetishist,
which is very beautiful.

1014
01:21:11,022 --> 01:21:12,516
That has already happened to me.

1015
01:21:12,540 --> 01:21:13,941
- Without my realizing it.
- See?

1016
01:21:13,965 --> 01:21:17,436
A foot fetishist is very beautiful,
he surrenders to you.

1017
01:21:17,460 --> 01:21:21,469
He kisses your feet,
caresses you, buys you shoes.

1018
01:21:21,493 --> 01:21:24,078
So you can make up that image,

1019
01:21:24,102 --> 01:21:29,976
because when I was a girl I saw
in a book that we had, "Cinderella,"

1020
01:21:30,000 --> 01:21:35,963
I saw the prince kneeling, sliding
the slipper onto Cinderella's foot,

1021
01:21:35,987 --> 01:21:37,826
and I would show it to my sister and say,

1022
01:21:37,850 --> 01:21:40,728
"Look, how nice it must be to
have a man kneeling at your feet,"

1023
01:21:40,752 --> 01:21:44,312
but I didn't want him to just kneel,
I wanted to step on his member.

1024
01:21:44,336 --> 01:21:45,894
I wanted him on her knees, naked.

1025
01:21:45,918 --> 01:21:49,007
Then I had an idea, I went to shoe stores,

1026
01:21:49,031 --> 01:21:52,120
chose a shoe,
and the man came and kneeled.

1027
01:21:52,144 --> 01:21:55,263
And I kept imagining him naked.

1028
01:21:55,287 --> 01:21:59,783
So when I had my first relationship with a
foot fetishist,

1029
01:21:59,807 --> 01:22:02,010
I found it easy to do that.

1030
01:22:02,034 --> 01:22:07,315
Because it was already a fantasy of mine.

1031
01:22:07,340 --> 01:22:14,667
Then I delved deep into it. So you can
first do a scene with a foot fetishist...

1032
01:22:16,148 --> 01:22:18,763
and you won't need to have full sex,

1033
01:22:18,787 --> 01:22:23,956
because he'll kiss your feet,
you'll rub them on his member, he'll cum.

1034
01:22:25,037 --> 01:22:30,323
That's it. You don't have to
do the banana thing right away.

1035
01:22:38,851 --> 01:22:41,716
"In the name of Jesus, I'm talking to you.

1036
01:22:41,740 --> 01:22:45,875
Jesus's blood is powerful. Now
you will hear me, come to the front!"

1037
01:22:45,899 --> 01:22:48,656
That gave me a horrible chill.

1038
01:22:48,680 --> 01:22:54,483
For god's sake, in a place like
that you play with Jesus' name?

1039
01:22:54,507 --> 01:22:57,773
It's one of the first
commandments of the Bible,

1040
01:22:57,797 --> 01:23:01,551
"You shall not misuse the
name of the lord your god."

1041
01:23:01,575 --> 01:23:05,014
Then the next day I went looking
for a church and I became a believer

1042
01:23:05,038 --> 01:23:09,138
and was baptized in the waters and told
the waters to wash Wilma Azevedo away.

1043
01:23:09,162 --> 01:23:11,605
And I walked out as Edivina.

1044
01:23:12,606 --> 01:23:16,516
And when I didn't want to write
as Wilma Azevedo anymore,

1045
01:23:16,540 --> 01:23:20,350
I knew I was going to lose my job,
because Edivina had no

1046
01:23:20,374 --> 01:23:23,453
projection whatsoever as a journalist.

1047
01:23:23,477 --> 01:23:28,716
And when I saw the transvestite
play with Jesus' name…

1048
01:23:28,740 --> 01:23:32,983
I even made a vow of poverty if need be.

1049
01:23:33,007 --> 01:23:36,366
Not to write anything else,
nor sell my books.

1050
01:23:36,390 --> 01:23:40,714
To abandon erotica and
the pornographic milieu.

1051
01:23:41,956 --> 01:23:47,738
I knew, at the time I spoke to our Lord,
that if I had to live in a favela

1052
01:23:47,762 --> 01:23:53,724
because I couldn't pay rent,
that he would open the doors for me.

1053
01:23:53,748 --> 01:23:55,836
And I went to live in the
favela of Manguinhos,

1054
01:23:55,860 --> 01:24:02,232
because although there
was drug dealing there,

1055
01:24:02,256 --> 01:24:08,118
it was less intense than in Jacarezinho,
the one next to it.

1056
01:24:08,142 --> 01:24:10,107
I started to watch the film,

1057
01:24:10,131 --> 01:24:14,425
and there on the screen those
fat drops of rain began to fall

1058
01:24:14,449 --> 01:24:17,428
and suddenly I heard a noise
and looked out the window

1059
01:24:17,452 --> 01:24:21,852
and the rain had transferred
to the favela of Manguinhos.

1060
01:24:21,876 --> 01:24:25,416
I grabbed a lot of things,
all unnecessary stuff.

1061
01:24:25,440 --> 01:24:27,633
At the time, I didn't think the water

1062
01:24:27,657 --> 01:24:31,162
would reach a meter and a
half high inside my little house.

1063
01:24:31,186 --> 01:24:35,446
Everything I had,
Wilma Azevedo's most important things,

1064
01:24:35,470 --> 01:24:39,671
pictures of artists who
wanted to be my slaves,

1065
01:24:39,695 --> 01:24:45,877
of big-shot politicians, and letters from
everybody inviting me to this and that.

1066
01:24:45,901 --> 01:24:51,783
All the evidence I had for me to
say today that I would be a millionaire

1067
01:24:51,807 --> 01:24:57,658
if I was a crook was
washed away in the flood.

1068
01:24:57,683 --> 01:25:01,815
All I was left with was a bed,
made of iron with golden friezes.

1069
01:25:01,839 --> 01:25:04,195
I think you've seen it in my place.

1070
01:25:04,219 --> 01:25:08,164
I liked it when I tied up my
slaves. Because it has lots of...

1071
01:25:11,006 --> 01:25:13,222
- What do you call them?
- Corners.

1072
01:25:13,247 --> 01:25:18,670
Iron corners. They were good for bondage.

1073
01:25:18,694 --> 01:25:23,695
As a Christian I did exactly
what the Bible says, right?

1074
01:25:23,719 --> 01:25:28,360
I did it all,
I even gave a lot to the Church, see?

1075
01:25:28,384 --> 01:25:33,385
I sold a land plot for 10,000, I gave away
one thousand, which is the Church's 10%.

1076
01:25:33,409 --> 01:25:35,688
The pastor was very pleased.

1077
01:25:35,712 --> 01:25:41,534
But I heard about all the
thievery by these pastors.

1078
01:25:41,558 --> 01:25:48,236
Everyone who ran the story proved the
veracity of it all, it really upset me.

1079
01:25:48,260 --> 01:25:56,008
So I stopped going for a while, and I
became aware that my god is within me.

1080
01:25:56,032 --> 01:25:57,775
My body is my church now.

1081
01:26:23,083 --> 01:26:26,792
Do you still have orgasms?

1082
01:26:26,875 --> 01:26:29,375
I do. A lot.

1083
01:26:29,625 --> 01:26:31,125
And has anything changed?

1084
01:26:31,375 --> 01:26:32,875
For the better.

1085
01:26:33,042 --> 01:26:37,434
Experience teaches us about what we like,
what we don't like,

1086
01:26:37,458 --> 01:26:40,250
what will turn us on, what won't.

1087
01:26:40,292 --> 01:26:41,976
Thank God!

1088
01:26:42,000 --> 01:26:45,491
I didn't imagine, either, that at this age

1089
01:26:45,515 --> 01:26:47,195
I would still have the
orgasms that I have.