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No one is sure of when they first arrived.
Some say they've always been here.
I think that's bullshit, because if they had we'd all be one of them by now.
Why do I give a shit. Well, because I used to be different than I am now.
Sure, we all change. I look pretty much the same. A bit more on the shabby side maybe.
I still love the city though. It's just the most recent inhabitants that I don't care too much for...
I'm not antisocial. I have lots of friends. Or had lots of friends.
That was before I became a betweener. What's a betweener you might ask.
That is someone that is inbetween their world and ours.
Sounds kind of schizophrenic, I know. But let me try to explain.
Most of the people that they convert do so willingly,
and even with enthusiasm I might add.
In my case though, and the rest of the crowd that I run with,
the conversion just didn't take...
You see, even aliens have standards, certain standards that once met,
allows them to get inside your head, for their fucked up hive mind.
And then you become one of them, a Leacher.
There are a lot of other names for them:
seeps, snoops, peeps, all kind of names.
I call them Leachers though, because once they leach on your gray matter, that's it.
Yours thoughts become theirs, but more importantly all of their thoughts yours as well.
It's kind of like crowd psychology during a riot.
People who have been in a riot talk about not knowing what they were doing at the time.
As if they were controlled by some group force as they threw a brick through the window and grabbed
a 50 inch flat screen.
Or enthusiastically helped to turn over the cop car.
Leachers are a bit more sophisticated about that sort of thing though.
You see, a Leacher looks like you or me. They tend to dress somewhat conservatively.
And don't say much.
But that's mostly because they are usually busy speaking inside of other people's heads.
Or to other Leacher agents.
Leacher agents are your upper most management in alien society.
What makes it so easy for them to convert regular humans into Leacher drones?
It's simple, incentives, massive incentives.
We'll, we'll get to all of that later.
We're all still learning, exploiting their weaknesses when we find them.
I lost a lot of good friends in the fight along the way.
I've also made a lot of new friends as well.
Some lasting longer than others.
Until the Leacher Agents and their army of Leacher ghouls that track us down.
Then there are some betweeners that just can't take it anymore and off themselves.
Me, I plan on sticking around a while.
Sis coming?
Eat it you fuck!
Getting slow old man. I had you Fig and you know it.
Before or after you popped out of that alcove back there?
Well what else is a girl to do around here?
I say we either waste them or leave them!
No, we're not going to waste them. We're going to get them!
We're going to get them back to the station in time to send them back!
Shit!
Fig's right, better than Leachers anyway.
How many do you think there are?
Four, maybe 5, I've been listening to a lot of chatter over the network.
Everything set at the safehouse?
Yea, we're going with the one we used the time before.
Who's going to be spotter?
I will again I suppose. We don't want to give it to Crank again.
Hey, what are you talking!
I'm talking about last time when 2 of the ones you picked were already converted. Probably for months!
Hey, they were acting weird!
Why don't we leave it to the Pro's. Or at least someone with a decent batting average.
Why you little!
Calm down both of you! We need to keep moving if we're going to catch the route at the station. Come on!
We can hold off on that for now. We'll wait and see if they're serious with the offer.
Trust me on this!
Give it another week for the counter offer.
How do they possibly expect anyone to know all of this? Five programming languages,
network engineer, security expert, I should just suck it up and keep my job at the furniture store...
Who knows, I might even make manager in 2 or 3 years.
So how's that new chef at work?
Oh my gosh, it's a total nightmare! No matter what I do, I can't do anything right. He's a total jerk.
He sounds like a sleaze ball.
Exactly!
[Alien transmission] Linda Davis! Internationally syndicated cooking show sensation!
With Linda Davis Cooking soon to be branded in all of the major grocery stores!
We'll talk more after the meeting this morning.
Rick Janson! Entrepeneuer! Tech Guru!
In on the IPO of what will become a multi billion dollar company. Genius!
I mean I'm not going to give up!
So I have to just kind of put up with it!
Yes, this is Rick.
No, yea I've got him right here. Ken just brought him in.
And the place looks like a dump.
Well yea, I guess that's what you get when you have them foot the bill for the cleaning company.
No, no, they're they're all out. Yea, we got all the access codes changed.
Can you have him take a look at these.
Yea, that's right, the prototype will be ready to go live in 3 weeks.
It's like he treats me like crap but then he kind of tries to hit on me.
It's just awkward and awful and there's nothing I can do to make him happy.
Well there's no way you're going to miss those midterm exams. I'm sorry. Alright have a good day.
No, I'd go insane. And why I ever slept with Tina. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
Now Louis, you don't mind if I call you Louis, do you Professor?
As the President of the college you may address me anyway that you wish.
Mary please. You're probably wondering Louis why I asked you out for our casual stroll this afternoon.
Well it did cross my mind.
You keep telling me that you're going to tell her about us and you don't
So, I'm done. I'm not going to be this second fiddle.
I'm not going to wait around for you cause I know, you're never going to leave your wife.
And I deserve much better than that, and you know that.
Hi, I'm Linda Davis, and I make 30 minute meals. That means in the time that it takes for you to watch this program,
I will have created a healthy and nutritious meal that everyone can enjoy!
Dad, there's a big red X at the top right corner. You just need to click it.
It's not your computer screen now. You just need to click that now and it will go away.
No, it's right next to the little X. Right next to the little line. There's a big red X in a square.
I don't want to hear any more of your lies! Huh?
I'm sorry, there's no making up that exam. What's the excuse this time?
You make up all of these excuses, but I'm done! I've waited around too long!
I know! I know! You're never going to leave her! I don't believe you!
I know you're just saying you love me. But you're just, you're just telling me what I want to hear.
And the, the computer screen went off. Ah, I don't know. Did you, did you kick the plug or something?
So it's over! Don't call me anymore, I don't want to see you.
Don't come to my restaurant ever again! It's done!
You're either there or I'll fail you.
Did? Dad, plug that back in, and call me back when ever, whenever your computer is booted back up.
I have to go. I'm running late to an interview.
Yes it's. No, Dad, I haven't worked there since... I haven't worked there since college.
No, this is a real job Dad!
Yes I'm. Look I. I have to go ok? Ok? Alright, bye... Good... Good bye Dad.
I'm sorry, there's no making up that exam.
Yea, no, we're covered. We've been testing the database in the lab for the last six months.
Look, there's no way you're going to miss the midterms.
How about when I needed you when I was losing my job!
Today, we're going to make bone broth soup. Which is all the rage!
It will knock your socks off!
I know, but I've heard that before.
Roger, I hope I didn't pull you away from anything to pressing.
The Clarkston Estate deal just fell through, so that would make it depressing.
Well, I've got something that should cheer you up right away then. Follow me.
I've spoken with the board, and we'd like you to take over the reins for the Myrtle Estates development.
But I thought John Davis was on that?
Was, he pissed off the owner, almost screwed up the entire deal.
The owner says he'll close with anyone but John. So he's out, and you're in.
To a 500 million dollar project with 10% commission on your end.
With bonuses for meeting deadline. Of course you'll need to drop everything else on your plate,
and concentrate just on this.
We can off load most of it to John.
But how could I have possibly been turned down.
This is my second time around.
If I'm ever to get tenure I'll have to switch schools and start all over again.
And what do they mean when they state that my published journals were without substance?
Well maybe, if they spent more time in South America, they would learn a thing or two
about Latin American studies. I grew up there!
I think you are well aware of the controversy surrounding our current Dean.
All those innocent young Undergrads. Simply devastating.
And studies have shown that if you add bone marrow to soup it will create one of the healthiest drinks out there.
In fact, there are actually bone broth bars that are cropping up to compete with coffee shops.
[The Aliens can speak telepathically with the human candidates for conversion]
[Alien transmission] You must listen to us Rick. Life will be so much more wonderful once you are with us.
No, it's the front end that we have to worry about. That's why we brought the kid in.
Look, he wrote, coded all of those apps on his spare time and they're going to work perfect with the new interface.
And he doesn't even have to come up to speed because it is all coded in the same language.
I'll have Ken bring him onboard right now.
[Alien transmission] You must listen to us Linda. Life will be so much more wonderful, once you are with us.
[Alien transmission] Life will be so much more wonderful, once you are one with us.
[Alien transmission] Stop them! They're getting away!
[Alien transmission] They must be surrounded!
Go!
[Alien transmission] You must block their way!
[Blaring rock music from the cannister causes pain to the Aliens]
The distortion threshold from the mutant music is unbearable!
I know I was on the right train this morning...
Oh my God! My cooking show is going to shoot in less than an hour!
It's the World Premiere!
Hold on! This isn't your stop.
I have to get off here! This is my first day as Executive Director of technology at my new company.
We'll get you there. Don't you worry.
[Alien transmission] I'm engaging others now as well.
[An Alien signal is being transmitted to alert the other Alien Agents]
But I don't understand, what's going on, and where are you taking us?
I don't have time to explain this all right now. Other than to say that both of you are in serious danger right now.
Danger of what?
[Alien transmission] Yes Acknowledged now.!
See those 2 men that just got on? Don't stare over at them. Just glance.
They are extremely close!
Ok?
Leacher Agents, both of them. And they're looking for you.
But why? We haven 't done anything! This is ridiculous!
[The Alien signal is being transmitted again. ]Crank a mutant can hear it too.
Well that's because we got to you in time before you became one of them.
One of them?
That's right. One of them, a Leacher.
A Leacher?
You'll know soon enough. That is, if we make it.
Have you drugged us?
No, we've just interrupted the conversion process.
Had you made it to the final stop on the last train, the conversion would have been complete.
And then you would have become a Leacher, just like them for the rest of your days.
You see the rest of the people on this train. A third of them are Leachers already.
Why that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of!
Most of them we don't have to worry about, but a Leacher Agent is probing them right now.
And he might be able to get some of them to block us getting off of the train.
[Alien transmission] You must block their way!
[Alien transmission] They are on the platform now!
Stop them, they're getting away! Stop them!
Get the fuck back or I'll cut all of you!
They're still getting away!
[Alien transmission] We are now locked on to their position.
I don't understand. What exactly do they want from us?
They want your mind.
But what for? Are they Aliens or something?
That's right! And we believe this is the first wave of an Alien Invasion.
But that's crazy! So they're going to take over the planet by letting me live my dream?
Well yea. It's all great until the voices start.
The voices?
You'll have that great cooking show, but when they tell you to do something, you will do it.
But how?
We don't know yet. Except that it it seems to be some sort of wide scale telepathy.
That they use to communicate with each other. And those that become one of them.
God, this is really way too much...
If you think about it. What better way to control society than by controlling the roles in that society.
And I guess all of the important decisions would be made by them.
[Alien transmission] I've got a lock on one of them.
[Alien transmission] I think I see them. Yes they are in a blue Honda Pilot on Broadway and 5th.
[Alien transmission] You must not let them get away! We will try to cut them off.
[Alien transmission] I am picking up a signal from one of the others now.
Yes Sir. I'll have the report on your desk this afternoon.
Yes the projected earnings from a recent reduction in force should be substantial.
Providing our International assets are in place as projected. Thank you Sir!
They've gotten to him again.
[Alien signal] I've got a lock on one of them.
[Alien signal] Yes, I can see them now.
So where does this place you in this crazy extended acid trip that you're still on?
That's right, caught inbetween their world and ours.
You see the conversion didn't take with me for whatever reason. But I was partially converted.
So I have some of their powers.
Like what?
For instance, I can hear the thoughts that they speak to each other.
What a bunch of horse shit!
[Alien transmission] Once you become one of us you will enjoy everything.
Oh my God, did you just hear that?
That's the creepiest voice I've ever heard. [Transmission in background]
Some of it was coming in and out though...
That's because the conversion process is still taking place.
Damnit! I think we're being followed.
Getting us to pull over isn't going to be that easy.
[Alien transmission] The signal is getting stronger now I am sure of it!
[Alien transmission] We must triangulate their position, and then we will have them!
[Alien transmission] We are now locked onto their position!
Think of it Rick! Are you willing to jeapordize your bright future for this fool?
You must fight him. Or would you prefer 10 more interviews for a worthless and mindless tech job!
There! Over there! That's their car!
Now it's great for anyone who is sick. Of course nobody ever wants to talk about that.
But it does happen. Or maybe you're on a diet.
Or maybe you just want something warm and delicious to fill your belly on a cold winter's night.
[Alien transmission] Soon you will be one of us. We are almost together. Embrace the wonder!
[Alien transmission] I am following them now!
[Alien transmission] Yes, acknowledged, proceeding there now!
250, plus stock options, and an early buy in on the IPO.
Hell, we're going to save half a million just by dumping that useless design team that...for-
Uh sure, uh, I'll shutup. Sorry...
Yea, I'll give you a call after the rollout.
Sure Boss. Enjoy the rest of your trip.
That son of a bitch is sitting in Bali, while we're here busting our ass.
Perks of being the founder.
And that call, just made it a write off.
Rick, I'd like you to meet Calvin, our Director of Operations.
Good to meet you Rick. I told Ken here that we wanted a Superstar.
[Alien transmission] Yes Acknowledged now. Proceeding there now.
[Alien transmission] Intercepting now! Intercepting now! Intercepting now!
I can't tell, but I think it might be one of the Leacher Agents from the Train.
[Alien transmission] I am following them now.
We'll need to pull over and get away on foot. It's our only chance before they lock onto us again,
and the signal gets even stronger!
[Alien transmission] Yes, I sense them too! They must be surrounded! The Mutants must be stopped!
[Alien transmission] We will box them in.
Alleyways help stop the signal.
[Alien transmission] They are getting away!
You and Trix can take care of these 2 and get to the safehouse.
I'm going to check on Fig, just in case he ran into something. I know his usual routes.
Try not to get lost.
We'll try to meet up with you before the safehouse at the usual spot!
Well, this is the recipe for you. First I take out my pressure cooker, it's nothing fancy,
but you do have to follow the instructions on yours. Usually there is a little tab that will pop up when it's done.
Now what I like to do, is save some bones, some chicken bones in the freezer from a previous meal.
I also like to save some vegetables in the freezer from a previous meal.
And I'll add those to the soup.
Loud scream!
Or else they're going to lock on to us again and the signal gets even stronger.
Snap out of it! Slap! Come on go, go go!
[Alien transmission] I am picking up a signal from one of the others now.
[Alien transmission] One of our own has been destroyed!
How have they been?
Damn! That was close!
[Alien transmission] You cannot escape!
[Alien transmission] And you Linda! Do you plan on being a lowly prep cook for the rest of your career?
[Alien transmission] Your show is a huge success and so are you! You can't let them take that away from you Linda!
Now a little trick that I use. Is I'll take my chicken bone, and a clean cloth,
and I'll place the chicken bone underneath the clean cloth. And use my cleaver to chop it.
But this way, you don't get bits of bone flying all over your kitchen.
So take your cleaver and give it a good chop! Chop, chop, chop! Just like that!
Perfect! And this way you really get that bone marrow to go straight into the soup.
Which is where all the nutrients are.
Now move!
That fucker was only 20 feet away. I knew something was up with the way these 2 were acting so I dropped back.
If that one is on to us, then more will follow.
I felt it!
So did I. It felt like death...
So we'd better get the hell out of here now!
[Alien transmission] Kill them Linda! Scratch their eyes out!
Don't listen to them! Do you understand!
Loud scream!
Your apps are going to kick some ass!
For our database integration.
11, I think we need 11! What do you think?
About?
Dude, the swatches.
We're going to re-paint all of our offices. You can work remote as long as it takes to finish the redecorating,
bring in the new furniture. Get rid of this crappy carpet! Which I'm going to need your input on.
We're not really into that whole cube slumming thing around here.
Really breaks the spirit.
Soils the mind
Just buries you.
With contempt from the masses!
But aren't you going to ask me any questions about?
What, technical questions? Laughter! Laughter!
Yea, that's, alright, no, no, we've got plenty of geeks that we can front load that crap to alright.
At our level it's all about the aesthetics. You should have a text by now with your starting salary.
I'm hearing voices, they're telling people to come after us!
I can hear it too!
[Alien transmission] You must listen to us Rick.
They want us to turn ourselves in. It will be better for us!
Don't listen to them! Do you understand!
They promise not to harm you.
Because you're not normal anymore. Scream!
All we can do is get you back as close to what normal once was!
Come on! We need to hurry before it's too late!
If you've got any questions, Ken here can help you get it figured out.
And with our IPO in a month, Kid you just hit the lotto.
You're still going to need to come through for us though.
I don't think that's going to be a problem. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here.
So, do you want to go check out the server room? And get some lunch?
You like sushi?
Sure!
There's this place right around the corner, California rolls to die for!
Soon, you will be one of us.
Hey, where's Rick? He's not coming!
[Alien transmission] Life will be so much more wonderful, once you are with us.
We have to leave him! He's been converted!
You want me to go back and waste him?
No, it will just slow us down meeting up with the others.
We need to move before they lock onto her as well! Come on!
It's about time you got your asses here! Where's the other one?
Had to leave him. He did a full blown conversion right in the alley.
Any activity?
I haven't seen anyone but they're out there, I can feel it.
What about you?
There's been an Alien Agent tracking us. But I think we lost him.
You better have! Just one?
I think so.
Shit! That's all we need.
Hey, check out the suit.
[Alien transmission] I've got a lock on one of them.
Leacher Agent for sure!
[Alien transmission] Just come to us. Join us. Trust us.
You stupid fucks! I'll take care of him. Fig, you grab those 3.
I'll keep this one as bait.
Fig, where are you parked? I'd better check out the area to see if there are any more.
You all will have a better chance on foot anyway.
Come on! We need to get the hell out of here!
Hurry up!
[Alien transmission] They must be near. I think I can feel one of them now that wishes to return to us.
Soon you will be one of us. We are almost together. Embrace the wonder.
Behold the beauty of your salvation and success!
[Alien transmission] Life will be so much more wonderful, once you are one with us.
[Alien transmission] Do not harm the candidates.
[Alien transmission] Copy.
[Alien transmission] Secondary units are now arriving as well.
[Alien transmission] I'm on my way there now.
[Alien transmission] I'll cover the back entrance.
[Alien transmission] We are now locked onto their position.
[Alien transmission] Yes, I sense them too!
Nothing like the smell of fresh meat.
[Alien transmission] Additional units responding.
Shit!
Down on the ground now!
Come on! Come on!
Go ahead, get in.
They always love it when I do that.
Are we good at the other safehouse?
We should be, I've got some of the others prepping it now.
[Alien transmission] They must be surrounded.
[Alien transmission] There! Over there!
[Alien transmission] Yes, I can feel it as well! They will soon be ours!
Slap!
[Alien transmission] You must listen to us Linda!
And then, I'll take some fresh vegetables and add them in. I'll take a carrot.
Give it a little chop.
Now this recipe is also it's just so healthy and nutritous for you.
It actually helps your intestines and your digestion. and it's so simple,
You don't even need any spices or anything, just these simple ingredients, and thats it!
A lot of the flavor actually comes from the bone marrow. So I'll throw in some carrots.
As you can see we have the pit dug on this side, it was going to be 25 stories we're going to top it out at 30.
That'll be for the residential.
Slap!
Of course, we have the reputation of the college to think about.
Which is why I'd like to offer you the Deanship.
Take a good healthy celery stick. Chop that up.
Go!
Go ahead. Go ahead everyone take a seat.
We should start with the briefing now.
I know all of you are tired and confused about everything that's just happened to you,
in such a short period of time.
But there's more to come, and you'll have to catch up to speed to have any chance of making it.
But what's going on! And making what?
You can't just keep us in here.
Let us go now, and we won't tell anyone.
I won't tell anyone. Just let us go now and we can pretend like this never happened.
Well I don't care, I'm leaving anyway!
Sit down and shutup, and just maybe we'll get you through this!
And that goes for the rest of you too!
I know all of you have questions, and I'll try to answer them as best as I can.
The reason why we're keeping you here, is that we have to,
while you're inbetween.
Inbetween? Inbetween what?
I was about to get to that. The conversion process is still going on.
And continue with all of you, but at a slower pace.
Now the Leacher Agents know this, and will do anything to get you in time,
to finish bringing you back, over into their world.
Leacher Agents? Their world?
Well it's the real world. But one which they have complete control over.
Once you become one of them.
[Alien transmission] Fight them Linda! Kill them Linda! They will destroy your destiny!
This just feels like good old Momma's cooking to me.
Throw a little celery in there.
[Alien transmission] You still have a chance Linda, you must be patient!
Aliens, whoooooooo!
Something like that. We don't know enough about them to be sure.
But they have powers beyond regular humans.
And you want to prevent them from turning us into one of them.
If these Aliens are so powerful, why haven't all of you been converted?
We have been, but only partially, some of us more than others.
I don't need you to park my car young man. I'm with the hotel staff and we're conducting driving tests
on all of our valet parkers this afternoon.
Well, no one told me anything about...
Where do you want me to put her? I'm one of the best valets on the lot.
I've been here for 3 years without a single scratch on any vehicle.
You want me to put her in tight, I can put her in tight.
That won't be necessary. I just want you to drive around the block a few times and that will be enough to assess your
driving proficiency in our current metric analysis.
Well, I'm not sure what that all means, but I'll give it my best!
You been doing this work long?
Please refrain from speaking while the driving test is in progress.
Sorry about that. I don't usually speak with any of our guests except before and after I park their car.
[Alien transmission] This Candidate is resisting.
Well young man, what do you think?
Think about what?
[Alien transmission] Why your new job as Executive President of the hospitality division of our luxury hotel chain.
Me? I mean, are you sure you've got the right guy? I'm just a valet.
[Alien transmission] Oh, we're absolutely certain that you are the right candidate for the position.
We very seldom make mistakes in that regard.
Well I, appreciate the offer, but, you know, you know maybe I should think this over before I...
[Alien transmission] This Candidate continues to resist. It is unprecedented.
[Alien transmission] Well I very much doubt that you have been informed yet,
as has anyone else on the staff been for that matter. But the hotel has now been placed under new management.
And we truly believe on promoting from witjhin.
[Alien transmission] Why don't you go ahead and pull into the meter over there and we can have a look at our
new Flagship Hotel.
No fucking way! I'm out of here!
[Alien transmission] Stop! Where are you going? You will disrupt the conversion! It is not yet complete!
What? What the fuck is happening to me?
No! I'm not going to listen! Fuck you! Fuck all of you!
Maybe... Maybe I'm just coming down with something.
Oh you're coming down with something alright.
I don't know, this one might be too far gone already. We should probably just leave him.
Where do you work?
What? Hey, I don't think that's any of your business.
Come on! You need to come with us!
Just shutup and move your ass, unless you want some more of what they're already doing to you!
Come on! We'd better put in some distance fast before they start converging.
What we need to talk about is how to get you back safely to your previous reality before it's too late.
But I don't want to go back to that reality. I'm willing to take my chances with the
opportunities they're offering me now.
I'll be a multi millionaire, and I can retire tomorrow in style, anywhere I want.
I'll take my chances too! There is no other way on this planet, or my previous dimension or reality,
if that's what you want to call it, that I would ever make Dean in any other college except in my dreams!
And it didn't even happen there without the help of your despised Leachers, or whatever the hell you call them!
If it take she intelligence of a higher being to make it happen for me, so be it, I'm all for it!
Unfortunately, it's a classic bait and switch.
You'll get the job, money, success, but you won't be you anymore, you'll be completely controlled by them.
We all need to eat. We still have a long journey ahead of us and you'll need the energy.
Nah, I'm not hungry.
Neither am I...
Eat it bitch! Or I'll shove it down your throat!
That's it! I'm doing her right now!
Put the gun away Sis!
Fine. But if she says one more word, that's it!
Sis, go take a breather.
You need to help them Sis. Yes we know who you are. Do you want to spend the rest of your days as a mutant?
Always living in hovels like this. Always being hunted.
Because we will eventually get you, we always do. Just join us and we can do fantastic things together.
Uh, I don't feel so well. Oh God, I look awful!
Why am I so pale? Hopefully this is a zombie flick...
And how about you Roger? Would you like to go back to managing cockroach infested tenement slums?
Or a taste of the good life, that you so richly deserve.
Just do what we ask, and it will all be yours.
You going to be able to come up to speed on all of this?
Definitely.
That's the spirit! How about a beer?
Absolutely!
[Alien transmission] And you Linda. Do you want to remain a lowly prep cook forever?
[Alien transmission] We will show you what you must do.
Uh, ah, I guess I could manage a little.
If you don't mind, I think I'm hungrier than I thought. I could use a sandwhich
if you have anything left.
Do you mind if I pick some things out? I'm kind of on a diet.
Yea, we have mustard, mayo, ketchup...
Huh!
Ah! Uh!
Professor. Now that you have made tenure, you will be a very busy man.
You can't let them take that away from you.
Yes, I understand that the graduate South American internship program was put on hold before I was instated as
But I have decide now, that it is one of my top priorities to get it back on track.
And starting taking bids on a new grounds crew, the lawn and the trees on the campus look terrible!
Can we hold off on the alumni awards ceremony until next saturday? Good, I plan on staying here another week!
Another week? Why don't we just move out here? I don't see why we couldn't work remotely.
Doesn't your college have a branch out here? Hmm, I already checked.
Would you be a dear and order me a Margarita?
I already did.
But I thought only, tenured...
Oh, that. I've already spoken with The Committee and you will be fasttracked.
Your tenure will begin immediately on your first day as Dean.
[Alien transmission] I am picking up their signal. I will show them what they must do.
[Alien transmission] Yes, wasn't that wonderful. See what you can accomplish when you all work together!
[Alien transmission] The Mutants must be stopped. The Mutants must be stopped. The Mutants must be stopped.
[Alien transmission] They must be surrounded. They must be surrounded. They must be surrounded.
[Alien transmission] You needn't worry, help is on the way!
How are they doing?
It doesn't look good.
They're all over the fucking place!
Trix, cover the right side. Sis, you peel off and help her out.
But I can't leave now! I have a meeting in 15 minutes with the donation committee for an endowment for 15 million
Yea, and I have a shareholder meeting that I'm already late for! A wage increase or the union will shut us down!
Yea, and I have to meet with our Chef and cooking staff to go over the remaining desserts for our show on Greece.
Come on, we've got to get the fuck out of here. Come on! Let's go! Let's go! Here you go! Come on!
Yes, you are beautiful Sis. You will be the envy of every upcoming star in Hollywood.
Signed to a 3 picture deal! Working with only the best! Which is where you belong!
We just need you to take care of a few more details for us.
Hey, I'm on my way there now.
Yea, I remember. I auditioned for the lead 2 months ago.
Really! Mono! That's bad. I had it in High School.
They want me over there right now! But I'm not even dressed right for the role!
Yea, yea, I've got the app for e-signatures. I can send them on the way!
[Alien transmission] The Mutants must be stopped!
[Alien transmission] They must be surrounded.
[Alien transmission] Soon you will be one of us. We are almost together. Embrace the wonder!
One of the Mutants is now one of us. She will take care of the others.
You are no longer a Mutant like her. She must be destroyed! Along with the others.
But not here. Perhaps, she can lead us to the others.
[Alien transmission] You are now ready for additional powers that will aid you in elliminating the remaining Mutant scum!
[Alien transmission] You will now aid us in the hunt for the Mutants.
Hold on. Where's Roger?
Shit! I thought he'd make it.
Come on!
Hey Sis. I thought you were covering our flank with Trix?
Yea, I was, but she bailed.
What do you mean bailed?
I mean bailed. Eat it you fuck!
Cough!
Cough! I always knew you were weak...
We have given you this new power to help you destroy the leader of the Mutants!
Where's the Professor?
I don't know. I think he's just up ahead.
Go find him and stay there. I have to deal with this.
Ah!
[Sis casts new powerful pain spell on Fig!]
Oh, ah, ah, ow!
Oh, ah, oh, ah!
Oh, ah, ah, ow!
Ah, oh, ah!
Oh, ah, oh, ah!
Oh, ah, ah, ow, ah!
Oh, ah, oh, ah!
Ah!
Eh!
Ah, ah!
Ah, oh, oh, ah!
Ah, ah!
Ah, oh, oh, ah!
Oh, ah, ah, ow, ah!
Ah, oh, oh, ah!
Oh, ah, ah, ow, ah!
Come on Sis! you don't have to do this!
I have to Fig. Give them up and we won't mess with you.
They can give you whatever you want!
So that's why you killed Crank!
I had to! And I'll do the same with you! They aren't worth it Fig! You can't fight them they're too powerful!
Can't you see that we're weak as humans! They're here to make us smarter. Give us what we couldn't get on our own before!
That's just them talking through you already! In a little while it will no longer be you talking at all!
I won't let you or anyone else steal my future from me!
Sis, you're the last person who I'd have thought, would have...
[Alien transmission] Life will be so much more wonderful, once you are one with us!
Fuck them! Bang!
No!
A recent Mutant conversion has chosen self destruction instead of salvation. The fool!
[Alien transmission] The other 2 Candidates are close by, I can feel them.
[Alien transmission] I am detecting resistance from one of the candidates.
[Alien transmission] I will give them pleasant thoughts to keep them occupied.
And then add an onion.
Mmmm, my mouth is watering already!
Throw that in there.
[Alien transmission] I am tracking the last of the Mutants.
[Alien transmission] The Mutants must be stopped. The Mutants must be stopped.
[Alien transmission] You cannot escape. You cannot escape.
Well, I do have to show up on the main campus every once in a while.
I'm sure you could work that out as Dean.
Plus, being so close to Denver would be great for my cooking show!
I don't see why not! It would be an envestment! Hell the college might even pay for it!
You're a genius sweetheart!
I think I'll go back in. The water's great! Join me?
I'm on my second Mai Thai sweetheart.
[Alien transmission] Do not harm the Candidates.
But what about the endowment?
Without those funds we'll have to close down several departments, starting with Media Arts,
and then Journalism.
I might as well tender my resignation right now!
What the hell? I think maybe I took the wrong turn this morning...
Professor, you must convince Linda to join us. Or dispose of her.
There you are! Thank God I found you! Are you alright?
I'm fine!
[Alien transmission] We are delighted to serve you. But to help you, we must help each other.
Ah, here we are now.
[Alien transmission] I will take care of this one.
You cannot escape. Mutant scum!
[Alien transmission] I will dispatch with this Mutant scum now!
[Alien transmission] Mutant scum!
[Alien transmission] Need assistance! Repeat, need assistance!
[Alien transmission] I will provide backup.
Moving into sector B now. I am engaging others now as well!
[Alien transmission] The Mutants must be destroyed!
[Alien transmission] There is no stopping until they are destroyed!
[Alien transmission] You cannot escape. You cannot escape. You cannot escape.
Fuck!
But we need to leave right now!
We can't leave. Fig told me we need to wait for him here!
No! We need to leave, and we need to leave now!
What's the matter with you! Uh, uh, oh, oh, ah, ah, oh, oh, ahhhh...
[Alien transmission] We only have 12 minutes before they board the train at the station and the conversion regresses!
Sis converted, and it looks like he was able to get to you as well!
I barely made it out of there myself!
But I don't understand?
She's dead... We don't have time to talk about it. Come on!
[Alien transmission] Life will be so much more wonderful once you are with us...
[Alien transmission] You must listen to us Linda.
And now, we'll add some water. I've got about 4 cups in here. Put that in your pressure cooker.
Now theres a, on the inside of your pressure cooker there's a little line that will indicate where to fill
the water to.
I know it might be hard to see, but it's in there.
And we'll take the lid. Place it on. Make sure that you hear it lock.
Just like that. And now, once it's on there and you're sure that it is locked we're going to take it over to the burner.
Don't forget your top. So let's take it on over!
[Alien transmission] Five minutes and counting before Final Transit!
[Alien transmission] Life will be so much more wonderful once you are with us.
We'll place it on the burner with your top on, and then we're going to turn the burner to low.
You don't want to turn it to high, because the pressure cooker won't have enough time,
for all of those juices to come out. So we're going to leave it here, we're going to let it heat up,
and we'll come back and I'll tell you what's next!
Come on!
Well I'm not going!
Slap!
[Alien transmission] Have lost visual.
[Alien transmission] Four minutes and counting before Final Transit!
[Alien transmission] They must be surrounded.
[Alien transmission] The Mutants must be stopped!
[Alien transmission] Proceeding to group engagement area now!
[Alien transmission] You must listen to us Linda.
Alright. Well the pressure cooker is done cooking, and we've let it cool down.
So now we're going to take it back over.
We're going to take off the lid. Open up the pot.
Smells so good! And we're going to take our strainer, hook it on the pot.
And we're going to strain the soup from the vegetables.
[Alien transmission] 3 minutes and counting before Final Transit!
[Alien transmission] They are getting away!
[Alien transmission] You cannot escape. You cannot escape. You cannot escape.
[Alien transmission] Do not let them escape!
[Alien transmission] They are nearing the station on foot now!
It really smells so yummy already!
[Alien transmission] Do not harm the Candidates.
[Alien transmission] They must be surrounded.
[Alien transmission] Additional units responding.
[Alien transmission] Transmitting additional alerts.
[Alien transmission] Diverting to target area now.
[Alien transmission] They must be surrounded. You mujst block their way!
[Alien transmission] They must be surrounded.
[Alien transmission] The Mutants must be stopped.
[Alien transmission] All units moving to containment area now!
[Alien transmission] The Mutants must be stopped!
[Alien transmission] 2 minutes and counting before Final Transit!
[Alien transmission] Encirclement of Candidates proceeding.
[Alien transmission] 1 minute and counting before Final Transit!
Sorry buddy, but I kind of like where I'm at now. Bang! Bang!
[Alien transmission] All Candidates must be accounted for prior to departure.
[Alien transmission] Mutant destroyed!
[Alien transmission] 45 seconds and counting before Final Transit!
[Alien transmission] Encirclement of Candidates proceeding.
[Alien transmission] 30 seconds and counting before Final Transit!
[Alien transmission] 15 seconds and counting before Final Transit!
[Alien transmission!!!]
[Alien transmission] Final Transit departure in effect.
[Alien transmission] Life will be so much more wonderful, once you are with us!
[Alien transmission] I can hear it too, they want us to turn ourselves in.
[Alien transmission] You must listen to us Linda! It will be better for us!
[Alien transmission] Life will be so much more wonderful, once you are with us!
And now, we have our delicious bone broth soup!
Which you can save as a stock, you can add it to some rice, or even a stew!
Now we're going to take a quick break, but be sure to come right back and join us,
as I share some of my family secrets for the most dangerously delicious oatmeal cookies on the planet!
[Alien transmission] Just come to us. Join us. Trust us!