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I had that dream again.
I have it all the time.
It's so real.
I'm in Mexico, my home.
I've returned.
My eyes are open.
And there I am, my younger self.
This dream always ends the same way.
I wake up in my bed soaked in sweat.
And I realize I can't go back.
And if I left here, what was it all for?
Order up!
Here it is.
Why so late?
There were so many lines. Sorry.
Mom, I told you not to give him juice.
It's water.
Paola, I left some chicken in the fridge for you.
There's enough for Ricky's lunch tomorrow.
-Good evening, ma'am. -Good evening.
I'm going to take him back.
Evening, sir.
-Good evening. -Excuse me.
You tricked me, huh?
Sit up. Let's clean you up.
And then it's time for bed, okay?
Let's see.
Let's see if this comes off.
-Does it hurt? -No.
-I can't... -Iván.
Hey.
Thanks for letting me spend some time with him.
When can I see him again?
He needs new sneakers.
I know that.
Here.
Take this too.
-You'll have enough for the bus? -Yes, don't worry.
When they pay me, I'll buy the shoes.
Take care of yourself.
Hey, the mole. Try the mole.
Add some onions.
Mole plate for Table 2.
It smells good, man.
Who do you think made it?
Yours truly.
You're still using the mortar and pestle?
Of course. That's how you make mole.
I told you to try it with the blender.
That'll make it bitter.
No. Wanna know my dad's secret?
-What? -As soon as you take the tomatoes
out of the pan, you blend them right away and it's not bitter.
It's faster.
-Try it and see for yourself. -Iván.
-Toilet handle's broken again. Fix it. -Yes, boss.
People, Table 5 is still waiting.
Sir!
What's up? Did you fix the toilet?
-Yes, it's working. -Great.
Sir, remember telling me about the kitchen position?
That when Pedro left, it was my turn.
Can you believe it? My nephew just moved back here
and I had to give the job to him. Gotta help the family, you know.
But I've been waiting a year.
Yeah, but some people wait four or five years to set foot in the kitchen.
Deal with it. That's all.
But I have a diploma. I went to the culinary institute.
Yes, I know.
Just be thankful that you have a job.
Some people have nothing.
You lack patience.
Patience. I'll catch you later.
Chulito.
Chulita, you're early. How'd you get in?
I gave your landlord a handjob.
I didn't know the old lady liked that.
You don't know my skills.
So this is your new hideout.
On the phone you said it was like a sardine can.
-It's not? -No!
It's more like...
a smelly shoebox.
Cheers.
Babe...
I thought you had dumped that idiot.
Remember Janeth?
-Who? -Janeth.
From Building 21? The slutty one. Sluttier than you.
Thank you!
She crossed over.
She left with a guy from Building 21.
They have some easy job in a flower shop or something.
And she sends a lot of money to her family.
Her dumbass brother bought a truck in Ecatepec.
And his wife dyed her hair blond.
"Because a natural blond...
-Always attracts attention." -"Always attracts attention."
They went to New York, Chulito.
Fucking amazing.
So? Where am I taking you to get shit-faced?
Let me change real quick.
Is it cool or what?
I've never been. But they say it's cool.
No fucking way.
Hello.
Yeah? Or what?
We'll see.
What's that?
-What? -Do you see that?
What?
What the fuck is this?
Over there, look.
He's handsome.
-But it's not him. -Yes, it is.
He's got his briefcase and everything.
Go on. Talk to him.
You must be lost.
I don't know if anyone told you, but this is a gay bar.
How come I haven't seen you before?
What, you know everyone here?
Pretty much.
Then you must know who I am.
You're from Mexico City.
You've been living here for a couple of years.
You're...
What are you?
I don't believe you.
That must have gone over great in Guerrero.
In Chiapas.
Even worse.
Let's just say I made it out alive.
If I had been there, I could have taught you how to pass.
So where were you in 1985 when I really needed you?
Jerking off.
To my Tom Cruise poster.
You really never ran into trouble with anyone?
I know how to pass.
You're obviously really good at it.
You see that convent over there?
Yeah.
That's where they invented Chiles en Nogada.
-No way. -Yeah.
Really?
And how did it happen?
I moved to Puebla to learn how to cook.
And when I got here, I went to that convent.
And a nun opens the door.
She says, "God bless you, brother,
but this place is for women only. You can't be here."
So you told her you were gay
-and they let you in, right? -Jerk.
I told her that I wanted the original recipe for Chiles en Nogada,
and I could offer a donation.
She said, "How much?" I told her a thousand.
And she slams the door in my face.
-No way. -Yeah.
So she comes back about ten minutes later.
She opens the door and says:
"Mother Superior says 2,000 or no deal."
Those are some sneaky nuns.
Yeah, and I'm sneaky too because in the end, I got that recipe.
I have to go.
Give me your number.
I don't have a phone.
But I'm going to see you again, right?
Yeah.
Thanks.
-Have a good day. -See you soon.
See you tomorrow, Don Pedro.
You sound different.
I can almost hear you smile.
Tell me who the lucky girl is?
Mom...
So is it serious?
Tell me. What's she like?
It's... It's too early to know.
What does she look like?
She looks just like you.
God forbid!
Ma, my break is over.
I'll call you later, okay?
Take care of Dad.
Do what you can.
...for your tamales.
Hello! Testing! Testing!
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen!
Hey, you, fatty! Don't you want a tamale?
To keep up those curves!
Fatty!
If you wanna get big and strong, a tamale will keep you young.
Not too much meat. It's expensive.
Wow, Ma.
It's looking awesome.
No dirty hands.
Julissa should pay you double.
It's her party. She should look beautiful.
Hey, Ma. Can I have one too?
A quinceañera party?
It's only for girls, Iván. Don't start that again. It's only for girls.
-I'm leaving you in charge. -Good luck.
Oh, crap.
Sandra! Are you okay?
Wait for me, Chulito.
No fucking way.
Not too vulgar.
But that's how Madonna does it.
For such a handsome guy, you make a pretty ugly girl.
Time's up, guys.
No one should still be writing. Time's up.
Because I'm in a good mood,
here's a chance for extra credit.
What's the natural tendency of every business?
To slowly go bankrupt.
I think I'm going to have to make the exam harder.
You're doing them too quickly.
Look.
-Look at these. -But they're too big, right?
Let's ask.
Look!
This one's amazing.
Excuse me. Good evening.
-Good evening. -We're about to close.
But it's still early. Can you show us one of these real quick?
-Yes, real quick. -We're closing.
I can't help you.
Thank you.
I know I've got a great ass,
but how much do you think a figure like that would cost me?
Like that?
Well, that would definitely require a trip to Thailand.
Shut up, asshole!
And for that butt, maybe a trip to Brazil too.
Imagine all the fags who'd come to my show.
So many.
Of course. We'd have to add more tables.
You'd look gorgeous too.
Over there.
Son of a bitch.
That's your Mr. Nobody, right?
Yeah.
Would you look at him?
It's so typical.
Good evening, bitches and boys.
Please give a big welcome to the grand diva of Puebla,
Cucusa Minelly.
He lied to me
He told me he loved me And it wasn't true
He lied to me
He didn't love me He never did
He let me adore him He lied to me
It was only a game
It was a cruel and vain game
He lied to me
My heart is broken
My face full of tears
I'm so wretched
I'd rather die
Lies, it was all lies
Words to the wind
Just the whim of a little boy
Okay, that's enough.
Enough.
All right, welcome, my friends.
So nobody here is gay, right?
But I support you, I do.
I put on heels and stuff just so you don't feel so bad.
-Oh. -What?
Look who it is.
Oh, no.
You love to get hurt, huh?
Take care.
-Goodbye. -Goodbye.
I'll let you take care of business.
Bye.
Hey.
This is my bus.
You better have exact change.
-Does she know about you? -No.
I can't tell her. You know how people are here.
If she finds out, I'll never see my son again.
She's the one who decides whether I get to see him or not.
So, what are you going to do?
How are you going to raise him, hiding like this?
I'm not sure.
For starters, I need a job where they pay me more.
I've been thinking about crossing over.
You'd make a pretty complicated boyfriend.
We want cake
Does all this land belong to your family?
Yes. It belonged to my great-grandfather.
-Eyes closed! -They are.
Let's see.
Wow, Ma.
I'll make room.
Let's see.
-How do I look? -Wonderful.
It looks great.
-You look so elegant. -Thanks a lot, Mom.
-It looks beautiful. -Very elegant.
Magnificent.
Pretty, right?
I bet you spent all your afternoons here.
I wore this around when I was 8 years old.
Can you imagine?
-Who's responsible? -I don't know, sir.
-I'll check. -Don't say "I don't know."
He has a bad temper, huh?
What's that?
Your father's going to catch us.
He's too old.
He wouldn't make it up the stairs.
-That's good. -Thanks, Mom.
You're late.
Good evening.
I'm Iván.
Good evening.
Hi, Dad.
He's Gerardo's best friend.
How many cows gave birth today?
Two, Dad.
The black one's about ready, keep an eye on her.
Yes Dad, I'll check her.
The coffee's cold.
You know I like it burning hot.
What's that you're wearing?
You don't like it?
No.
What do you do for work?
He's a chef.
No.
He's a cook.
No. I help out in a kitchen.
I wash the dishes.
In my house, the maid washes the dishes.
Angelica...
That's woman's work, right?
When are you leaving?
Early tomorrow.
Let them be. They probably have things to do.
Yes, ma'am, we have to go back to work.
Let's go.
Dad?
Get up. Get up!
-Dad? -Shut up!
Where are we going?
I said shut up.
Are you going to tell me?
Aren't you a man?
Don't you think I'm ashamed that everyone in the village
is saying this shit?
Didn't I teach you to be a man?
Why do you act like a fucking little girl?
Everyone is saying you're a faggot.
-Is that what you are? -No, Papa.
So why are they saying it?
I don't know.
Do you know what happens to people like you?
They get killed.
And they get tossed into the mountains.
Is that how you want to end up?
No.
Stay here and learn what'll happen if you keep acting like this.
Iván, it's Francisco. I'm looking for you.
It's about the rent.
Iván, you still haven't paid him?
I'm on it.
I told you, I can lend you the money again, no problem.
And I told you no.
Well, it's up to you.
Iván, are you there?
It's my mom.
Your mom, here in Puebla?
She's here with my kid and Paola.
-So? -They're going to want to come up.
I'm your friend from work, right?
Iván!
Hi, Mom.
Ricky, what happened?
I fell at school.
-Does it hurt? -Yeah.
Where were you? He fell on Thursday and broke his arm.
I panicked, so I called your mom.
Where were you?
Some friends from work invited me to Hidalgo.
It was a last-minute thing.
I'm sorry. I should've let you know.
The boy's better now.
But he insisted on seeing you. He wanted to see his dad.
Ricky, how about we go to Sanborns and get an ice cream?
Yes, ice cream!
It's raining.
Can we use your bathroom?
-Ricky needs it. -It's broken.
It's not working. There's no water.
Iván, why can't we come in?
Who's up there?
Mom, you just can't come in.
Is it that guy you're always with?
What are you talking about?
-Let's go. -But I want my ice cream.
It's late. Come on.
-Come. -Mom, wait.
I knew it.
I don't want you coming near Ricky or me.
Paola, he's my son.
You have nothing to offer us.
I'm going home.
Take that off.
Your mother worked hard on it.
What's going on, Iván?
What are you doing here?
What time are you coming home?
Late. I told you I have to wait until my boss gets back from Cholula.
Okay, I'll be waiting.
Don't be late.
What is it, Chulito?
What happened?
And what will you do over there?
Pluck chickens?
Pick grapes or whatever the fuck they pick in California?
Avocados?
Iván, we're gay.
We don't pick avocados.
I have better opportunities there to become a chef.
I'm talented, and they love talent over there.
Thank you.
We're fine here.
No, we aren't fine.
You're fine.
Come with me.
They hate us over there.
Then why does everyone who goes there end up staying?
This whole bullshit dream is just because your mom caught you with your boyfriend.
Grow up.
I need to move Ricky forward. I need to move myself forward.
I need to leave.
You could die.
Haven't you seen the photos?
Texas, Arizona...
That place destroys people with loneliness.
Gerardo, you're going to be proud of me.
I love you.
I hate you.
One year.
Do you believe in destiny?
I've always believed that we all have something special waiting for us.
It's like life has a surprise for each one of us.
You are my surprise.
But you arrived a little too soon.
Everybody listen up. Starting now, you're going to do what I say.
Roberto Martinez.
Iván and Sandra Campos.
Is this for both of you?
Your wife's too fat, no?
Excuse me?
She's not going to make it.
-Yes, I can. -She'll fall behind, man.
No, she can do it.
I can.
Ernesto Camacho.
Javier Garcia.
Let's go.
Jesus, there's a ton of thorns!
-You all right? -Yeah.
-He said it was like 4 hours, didn't he? -Yeah.
So it's like watching two movies in a row.
Oh, Chulita.
-What's wrong? -I feel sick. I'm already exhausted.
Chulita.
Take a second to breathe.
Let's go or they'll leave us. You can do this.
-Chulito. -Come on.
Watch out! Fucking run!
Run!
Are you all right? Sandra!
Sandra, Sandra.
Sandra, get up!
Chula.
I'm begging you, please.
-I can't. -Get up.
I've had enough of this fucking fat ass.
We can't wait anymore.
I told you.
All right, guys.
Let's go. If we hurry up, we'll make it before dawn.
Hold on.
My wife needs five minutes. Please, just five minutes!
No, there's no time to lose. I warned you, motherfucker.
We can't just leave her here.
She could die.
Who the fuck are you?
Because of these assholes, we're all going to get caught.
Come on, let's go.
Please don't go. Give us five minutes. Please, sir!
Just five minutes, please!
Wait for us!
To the left.
-They're leaving. Stand up. -I can't.
I can't. Just go.
Go. Let them catch me and send me home.
I can't do it.
No.
Wait for me!
I'm coming!
Chula! Chula!
Forgive me.
We're not going to die in the fucking desert.
Up.
Hey! Hey! Over here!
Stop!
My God, are you okay?
I am. But my friend isn't.
Are we still in Mexico?
No, son, you're in the United States.
Thank God!
Can you give us a ride?
Anywhere. Please.
It's too dangerous.
But, look, take this road for 40 minutes.
Stay close to the shoulder because Immigration comes through here.
At the end of the road, you'll find
the San Luis Middle School.
The janitor's name is Sid.
Tell him Jimena sent you. He can help you.
Are you sure you can't take us?
Honestly, I can't.
But, look, I can give you this.
Here. Here.
-Thanks. -May God bless you.
Good luck.
Thank you.
But I don't want you to go. I don't.
But listen to me, I'm coming back soon.
You're going to be late for school.
Dear son...
we said goodbye 14 years ago.
I remember your innocent face.
I told you I would come back.
I never came.
Now you know the truth.
If I leave here, I can never return.
When you dream, it all happens so fast.
Like flashes.
The American dream happens in slow motion.
It takes years.
I came here to accomplish something.
Don't lose faith in me.
-Moving it. Ready? -Hold on.
Any phone cards?
I have two, five or 15.
How much is it?
Two for $1.
-And one? -Fifty cents.
An hour later than we agreed.
We finished late at work.
So? How's the new job going?
Good. Just great. Everything is super.
I cooked today.
I made enchiladas.
With chicken or pork?
With chicken.
And?
Everyone loved them.
But the chef was really impressed.
He said he hadn't tried them before
and that I have a unique talent.
It surprised him?
I told you they're really weird here.
They don't use cilantro. They put parsley in everything.
I told you the United States is a barbaric place, Iván.
I'm proud of you.
I miss you.
I miss you a lot.
You've been gone for more than a year.
I'm not as good at waiting as I thought I was.
Iván...
I'm coming.
No. You can't come.
This isn't for you.
Gerardo, you have to forget about me.
For a while.
-Age? -Twenty-six years old.
Properties here in Mexico?
I have an apartment in Puebla.
Value?
Eight thousand dollars.
Any other properties?
Well, my family has a ranch in Chiapas.
A cattle ranch.
Teaching assistant at the University of Puebla?
Yes.
I'm a graduate student.
Have you traveled internationally before?
Outside of Mexico?
No. Never.
Do you have children in Mexico or in the U.S.?
No. No.
Family members or loved ones in the U.S.?
No. No one.
Sorry.
Next.
I'm going to tell him.
Gerardo, don't.
No, that's enough.
Get yourself together, queen.
Look what happens when you drink like this.
Faggots.
Look at the little homos.
-Little faggots. -Gerardo.
Gerardo, stop.
Hit him!
-That's it. It better hurt. -Jerk.
He should come back here.
You have a profession here.
Everything you've built, son.
I want to be with him.
Do you understand that?
You could die.
Think it through, son.
Never hit a man. Ever.
Hey, you got a pizza for me?
Hey.
Does that look like a pizza to you, idiot?
Hey, it's the Mexican!
Yo. I said shut it.
What's wrong with that fucking dog?
Chula.
-Chula. -What's up?
Are you going out?
I have to go to work in half an hour, remember?
I made you pozole.
I'm not hungry. Leave it there.
You okay?
Janeth told me that
her friend went to Miami on vacation,
and she got picked up at the airport.
She got deported just like that.
At the airport?
Chula, it's going to pass.
They hate us here.
I want to go back.
But you're doing fine.
My mom said she saw your mom in a new car.
You know what my mom said?
That she'd rather sit across from me in the kitchen
than drive around alone in that car.
And it's used, the car.
It's a 12-year-old Toyota Camry.
Everyone's over there.
And you and me over here?
And your mom?
And the kid?
Is Gerardo gonna wait for you forever?
I'm leaving.
Let's go.
No.
We came here to do something. We have to do something.
-Ventana. -Ventana?
Ventana, ventana.
Window, no?
-Window? -Window.
Ventana, ventana.
Like this.
Window.
I don't think that's how you write it.
How do you say "horno"?
Horno...
How do you say "parrilla"?
Parrilla?
Look, "parrilla" is "grill."
Spell it.
-G-R-I... -I?
-An I or a Y? -An I.
-L-L. Grill. -L-L.
Wait, there's a word I can't remember.
It was "mushrooms."
-Mushrooms. -Mushrooms?
-Mushrooms. -What's that?
Mushrooms. Mushrooms.
Mushrooms?
Iván, doesn't that mean "hongos"?
-Champiñones. -What a dumbass.
-Champiñones. -How do you spell it?
-Champiñones.
No, in English!
Mushrooms.
We've got a total of $212 between us.
You need more salt in this, come on. Let's go.
All right. How's that sauce coming? Let me take a look.
Oh, for fuck's sake. You burnt the shit.
-What was that, boss? -Start it over.
Pick it the fuck up.
Come on, chef.
Put your fucking hands on me? You burn my fucking shit?
Stupid motherfucker, I swear to God, you get the fuck out of my restaurant!
Back to work! Let's go.
All right, come on, guys, come on.
Come on, man down.
Go down to the window. Yes, you, over there. Move now.
Pick it up.
Yo. Me. I can help.
Cooking school, in Mexico, in Puebla.
Iván.
Oh, my God, for chrissakes. You're the fucking delivery guy.
Go on, get him a fucking apron. Let's go. Let's go.
Go ahead.
Go.
I'm gonna go and see if I got any leftover risotto.
I'm gonna try and save this dinner. I think I can do it.
You just keep doing what you're doing. You keep chopping.
Make sure the positions are right on those, okay?
All right, let's go.
Hey, you, Eric. You, come over here.
Go to the walk-in right now, okay? You need to get me eight zucchinis, okay?
One large butternut squash.
And you need to get me 20 bella mushrooms. Go, go!
And parsley!
Finely chopped.
That's good but just do it a little shorter, all right?
It's ready, chef.
I'll take care of you.
You came to me.
You left everything.
Now we are intertwined.
They say that we'll have to live in hiding here.
But I just want to live.
Can we just live?
Chulito, how are you?
Everything's great here in Chiapas.
Gerardo told me that you finally got into a real kitchen.
I'm so proud of you!
Sending you kisses.
Another order of tacos, please.
I like it.
Nice, combined with black.
Let's put these over there. Come with me, Iván.
Iván, there were four.
No, only three.
When are you going to clean everything?
-They'll do it. -They'll clean this part.
Can you believe that Matt wanted to remove these red lamps?
He said they were ugly. I told him no way.
There's no bulb, Iván.
How's it going, Dad?
I just left the embassy.
They won't give me a visa.
I'm tired of it, you know. I don't know what's happening.
They won't approve me
and they're super strict with the papers and everything.
So that's it.
I give up.
Are you planning on coming back?
Or are you going to stay there forever?
I haven't seen you in 20 years
and you know that time's passing.
Twenty years.
How many shifts?
I've lost count.
Janitor. Dishwasher.
Line cook.
Chef.
Owner.
Father.
Immigrant.
Mexican.
I have memories that are fading away.
I can't remember the name of my dad's favorite chile.
What else is fading away?
Am I disappearing to them?
And if you decide to go back to Mexico, what will you do there?
You'd be returning to a terribly unstable country, where there isn't any work,
where you'd have to figure out what to do.
It's like starting from scratch.
-You guys aren't open? -No, sorry. We open at 5:00.
-Oh, okay. -Sorry.
Iván...
I don't see myself living in Mexico right now.
I just can't see it.
The central bus station.
Hurry!
Come here.
Gerardo!
Hey.
I just--
I want just to be very quick, so quickly.
No, just-- You know, I going to practice my Spanglish.
So thank you so much for being here, all of--
So many beautiful faces since like 10 years ago,
-like before the Twin Towers. -Thank you.
I can see friends, like, when we were working together
in different restaurants like 12 years ago,
cleaning tables.
And now I still cleaning tables. but your tables!
And we are here because Iván's food, I think.
Tonight...
I've achieved one of my dreams,
which is to see this place filled with our friends.
We created this place not just with ourselves in mind,
but thinking about the neighborhood,
thinking about our friends and our families.
And for the Mexicans who came here seeking opportunities.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
-Cheers! -Salud!
Dad, I'm making a video for Iván.
Brother...
we're going to change rooms. Mom already called the priest.
I will let you know if anything changes.
This is so painful. It's really killing me,
not being able to be there.
Not being able to say goodbye to him, to my own father.
For our families who stayed behind in our countries,
we ask you, Lord, please don't let us forget them.
We ask that you bring hope and patience to our illegal brothers and sisters.
Grant us the strength to overcome the abuses of racism.
We pray to you.
Long live the Latino immigrants!
Long live!
Long live all the immigrants in this country!
Long live!
I have a son in Mexico who's 20 years old.
And so I want to travel to Mexico. I haven't seen him in many years.
So... I don't want to leave this country forever
because I have the businesses, because...
I don't want to close the restaurants and leave 80 people without a job.
I'm not asking for residency or citizenship.
All I want is permission to travel and return here to continue working.
But even with all that, even though you have a business and employees...
because you entered without documentation
and because you've been here illegally,
there's no path.
It's like being trapped in a cage.
Honestly, I'm not happy. I'm not.
But there are many other people, Iván,
whose lives are destroyed,
and with much worse problems than us.
Oh, no.
There's nothing else to do but to go on.
It can't be that a country can destroy the bond between a father and a son.
Or between a family.
I don't think it's worth it.
And it's going to split us apart.
Have you ever had that dream where you're back in Mexico?
I have it all the time.
The jacaranda blossoms strewn in the street.
The colors of the market.
I can see them.
It's so real.
There are days when the feeling doesn't leave me.
I carry it with me, wherever I go.
Sometimes I confuse my dreams with memories.
Because a part of me is still there.
I'm sorry.
I don't know if destiny exists.
But what I do know is that life gives us all a surprise.
You are my surprise.
And I am yours.
And we are here.
You and me.
Together.
Still dreaming.
IN MEMORY OF EDUARDO GARCÍA