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- [Psychologist] I truly look at it as,
I'm not fucked up, the world is.
People are flawed, people are incredibly flawed,
and that fucking bothers me.
I hate it, it drives me crazy.
- Is that what's drawn you to wanna psychoanalyze everyone?
- [Psychologist] Yeah, I wanna know what their problem is.
The reason I bring this up is because,
every situation that I'm in,
when I feel like people are doing the wrong thing,
I feel like it's clear as day
that they're doing the wrong thing.
Most people are in the dark about everything, you know?
They're just going,
they're just going by impulse like, okay, what's today?
What do I gotta do today- - Why do you think
people don't think for themselves,
if there is a choice? - 'Cause it's easier.
It's easier, because it's like you can
just fucking sit there. - But, you think that
they realize that, that they know that it's easier?
- [Psychologist] No.
- What is it, what are you trying to understand with people?
With women, in particular, like your patients?
- [Psychologist] I wanna know why they do what they do.
I wanna know why they think how they think.
More of a guide, I'd rather be a guide like,
hey, listen, if you go down that road, it's no good,
you have to go this way.
Oh, good, thank you, I appreciate it.
And then, you go on their merry way,
and then they're on the good road, that's all.
You're here early today.
Why so early?
- I'm never on time, so I left early,
and I actually got here early, I don't know.
- [Psychologist] You have nothing better to do?
- I had things I could do, I just...
- [Psychologist] Well, there's gotta be a reason
you wanted to be here so early, is everything all right?
- Yeah.
- [Psychologist] You hesitated.
Is everything really all right?
- Can I put my feet up?
- [Psychologist] Sure.
- I just, feel more comfortable like this (sighs).
- [Psychologist] I don't even know if me doing this,
is any kind of reflection of me.
I think I'm just doing it, because people fascinate me.
- You're drawn to it.
- [Psychologist] I wanna help people with what I've learned.
- Yeah.
- [Psychologist] Are you happy in your life?
- Most of the time.
- [Psychologist] What do you want, what are you missing?
If you could have one thing in your life that's missing,
what would it be?
- I want a boyfriend.
- [Psychologist] You want a boyfriend?
And so, how come you don't have a boyfriend already?
- I don't know the relationships I have don't stick.
- [Psychologist] Why not?
- 'Cause, I fucking love assholes and they're all dicks.
- Are they dicks?
- No, they're dicks. - Or, maybe you're
doing something wrong?
- Nothing, I'm not doing anything that wrong.
- [Psychologist] Why do you love assholes?
- I don't know, they're sexier.
- [Psychologist] Sexier.
- Definitely, your purpose is to try and help other people,
which is amazing, like you're a teacher.
That's probably part of your like, whole fate,
but another, also could be during this,
there's always gonna be something that
you're gonna learn for yourself that's very personal to you,
to your own evolution.
- I remember messaging my mom
and she didn't answer me for three years.
Until I called her one day and I was like, bitch,
and I hung it up.
I got a phone call so fast, three years.
I'm taking about birthdays, I'm talking about everything,
and it took me to say, bitch, to get my mom to hit me up.
My pops called me like,
oh, you don't have to call your mom a bitch.
I'm like, hold on, man, I don't give a fuck,
you had a mom, you don't get it.
- I don't, I don't even know if I should be here, honestly.
- [Psychologist] That's what everybody says.
- Well, I mean it.
- [Psychologist] So, the nice guy that every girl-
- I can't fucking stand nice guys.
- You don't like nice- - They're like, you know?
Fucking annoying.
- [Psychologist] Why is that?
- 'Cause, they're pussies,
they don't stand up for themselves.
They just let me walk all over them.
- [Psychologist] Right, I agree,
'cause you don't respect them, that's why.
- They don't respect themselves.
- [Psychologist] They don't respect themselves.
That's right, and you can't respect somebody
who doesn't respect them- - No.
- [Psychologist] So, do you respect yourself?
- Yeah.
- [Psychologist] You sure?
- No.
- You're a man,
so I don't know if you're the right person
I should be talking to.
- [Psychologist] That sounds a bit sexist, no?
- Well,
talking to a man about men, seems like it wouldn't,
really work out, but I will give it a try.
- [Psychologist] You're here, because of men?
- I am here, because of men, yes.
- [Psychologist] Why is it okay for women
to be sexist against men?
Why is okay for women to label themselves,
as a woman, blah, blah, blah, and therefore,
I have to think this, this, this, this, and this,
you know what I'm saying?
- Yeah, I'm with you, I'm with you.
I think, and I get it, like I say,
I always have to play both sides, I have to be fair.
If I was a woman, I would say,
all this time they never got anything fair.
Nothing was ever was ever fair-
- [Psychologist] Right, but is that the case?
Well, maybe these guys,
these assholes guys who don't respect you,
maybe you're that nice guy to them.
- Aren't I supposed to figure that out,
without you telling me? (Psychologist chuckling)
- [Psychologist] Well, hey, that's what I'm here for, right?
To help you along.
(Victoria sighs)
Do you think or no?
- It sounds like it could be right.
- [Psychologist] I think that
in order to become better as a person,
you have to know the truth about who you are like,
duh, how are you gonna fucking fix the sink?
If you don't know what's clogging it,
you know what I'm saying?
You need to know shit.
- I know, I know. - It's why people,
they don't like that, they wanna live in denial.
- Yeah. - They want excuses
for their behavior instead of being like,
hey, you really shouldn't be like that.
- Right.
- [Psychologist] Do you think that maybe
you feel bad about yourself?
So, you like, when guys treat you badly,
because you agree with them,
that you should be treated badly?
- I could see that being a thing.
- [Psychologist] How you doing?
- I'm good, how are you?
- [Psychologist] Good, are you really good,
or you're just kind of good?
- Honestly, I am spectacular.
- Really? - Yeah.
- [Psychologist] Why?
- I just kind of, feel like at bliss.
You know, when you kind of like,
feel like you're starting to be on your path
of finding your,
just finding your path,
you feel like you've finally found what you wanna do.
I feel like I'm finally getting there.
- [Psychologist] So, you think life sucks then,
you think life is very difficult and it sucks,
and you were dealt a shitty hand, and life sucks?
- Yeah.
(Psychologist chuckles)
Why is that funny?
- [Psychologist] Because, it's funny that you think that.
- But, it's my reality.
It's like, everything around me is like that.
- [Psychologist] Yeah, but the reality is that, your world,
is your world to make what you want of it.
And so, if you're blaming everything else for,
you having a shitty life, chances are it's your fault.
- I am not married, no.
- [Psychologist] No?
- Divorced.
- [Psychologist] Divorced, do you have a boyfriend?
- (scoffs) No.
- [Psychologist] No, when's the last time you dated someone?
- Like, dated or?
- [Psychologist] Like, serious relationship.
- Oh, it's been a couple of years.
- [Psychologist] Really?
Hello?
Oh, okay, so did you park on the side?
You pulled in the gate though or no?
Oh, you didn't?
Maybe you need to hear the truth.
Maybe you haven't heard the truth for so fucking long,
that to finally hear it is so shocking to you.
And, you wanna call me an asshole,
you wanna call everybody else an asshole,
you wanna call the cop
who pulled you over an asshole, or whatever.
But, maybe it's you, maybe it's you.
- I'm an asshole?
- [Psychologist] No, maybe you're doing the wrong things
that are bringing assholes to tell you,
the reality of you doing the wrong things,
and you hate that.
You hate the truth, you hate it.
Oh, okay, so did you park on the side?
I'm not sure where Island View is, but.
- Do I need sex?
- [Psychologist] Well, I'm saying everybody needs sex,
I won't even ask you that, of course, everybody needs that,
but do you just kind of, hook up and not have have long-
- If I need to, sure.
- [Psychologist] So, anyway, I'm running a little behind
with somebody I'm with now.
So, you're in the right place, it's really nice around here,
if you wouldn't mind just killing like,
maybe 15 to 20 minutes?
And then, coming in, and then I'll buzz you in.
- All my life my focus is on women.
I would create these pages on POF,
and all these fucking websites and shit,
'cause I never had a mom, I never had these things.
I'm like, damn, I don't know what I'm looking for?
I never went to myself for once.
The minute I realized like, man, hold the fuck on.
I haven't been doing shit and nothing changed?
I'm gonna focus on me, right away (snapping),
everything was like clockwork for myself.
I'm like, hold on, all my attention,
and I got what I was looking for.
- [Psychologist] Awesome, okay, I'll see you soon.
Okay, bye.
- Oh, thank god, I'm so sorry.
(Victoria sighs) - [Psychologist] Why though, why are you depressed
with me saying this?
Why are you getting into this whole,
oh, poor me, thing again?
Why not see that as a good thing?
I just gave you the key to something important,
maybe you could change your life
by doing something different.
I just gave you that, you should be happy,
you should be smiling.
- Uh, does it like, it happens overnight?
- [Psychologist] It could.
People need to fucking hear shit.
I'm so tired of people being in denial about who they are,
about what they're doing, about what their behavior is.
Instead of just waking up to the fact that,
hey, your life sucks, because you're in denial.
- I'll just transform into a new person overnight?
- [Psychologist] You don't have to be a new person,
you have to be less the shitty person you've been.
- Okay.
- Do you think by,
being frustrated with people that aren't
evolving for themselves,
or wanting to at least show people the way,
being a shepherd to some degree,
how is that helping you?
How do you see that benefiting anything at all?
- [Psychologist] Because, I feel like
my number one
goal in life, is to matter, I wanna matter.
I want the world to be different, because of me.
- Everyone has needs, of course.
Men have needs, of course, they're a little bit different.
- [Psychologist] What happens when you have sex with a guy,
and then he wants to see you again?
- Well, we talked about it,
and we decided it was gonna be just the one time.
I don't have sex with anyone I wanna see again.
I can't, I'm busy.
I have a dinner meeting.
- [Psychologist] Really? That's interesting.
I've heard that before, some people have told me that.
- I did not make that up, I do.
Men are that way.
- [Psychologist] Yeah, but we don't set out like that.
- I did, I told you I did.
It was fun, but that's where it ends, it was fun.
- [Psychologist] We just wanna have sex with-
- I disagree with you there, I disagree with you there,
I think men do that. - But, we wanna
have sex with as many people as possible,
and then we don't know if we are, you know,
potentially, romantically interested until after that.
Women are the opposite,
women wanna feel romantically involved first,
and then have sex, right?
- No.
- [Psychologist] No, you don't see that?
- It has not been my experience, no.
Thank you and,
you have a good night.
- I want that connection,
but what's beautiful is living here,
I've seen that I can connect with other human beings,
and it doesn't always have to be on a sexual, intent.
- [Psychologist] But, for a girl it doesn't,
for a guy it does. - Right, and that's what
pisses me off. - It's much cooler,
I bet you have a lot of guy friends, right?
- I do, I bro out a lot, I've had a lot of-
- [Psychologist] And, they wanna hook up with you,
but you don't wanna hook up with them,
and then it's like the friend zone,
you've friend-zoned them.
- Right, right.
- [Psychologist] You know what?
It feels better for you,
to feel like everybody else is wrong and you're right,
of course, right?
It's just easier, 'cause then you don't gotta do shit.
You don't gotta change nothing,
and you're a great person in a shitty world.
- Aren't you supposed to be asking me questions?
- [Psychologist] Not necessarily, if you want that,
you could go to one of the regular therapists
that's just like, how is your childhood, and how is this?
How does that make you feel?
I don't do that shit.
- Man, we can blame, we could start with a thousand excuses,
we could say a thousand things,
but it starts with yourself and your thinking.
It's hard, and I get it too,
'cause it's hard to tell somebody,
hey, you need to start doing this.
When you're 35, you're telling me this I'm 35-years old,
you're telling me this at 35,
but I've been programmed for 35 years of my life.
I hear you, but I can't turn the shit around,
35 years of programming, you know?
They say, the hardest thing to do is to unlearn something.
- But, guess what?
They don't want,
you can and try and help someone all you want,
but they're not gonna wanna help themselves,
until they're ready to do it, feel me?
- What am I supposed to do?
- [Psychologist] You're supposed to just listen to me.
- I am listening.
- [Psychologist] But, I feel like you're not taking it in,
it's not registering.
- Is it supposed to register right now,
(snaps) like magic?
- [Psychologist] It should and it could,
if you'd let it.
What, you gotta go home, and you go and drink,
and do some coke, and go fuck some asshole,
and then fall asleep next to him.
And then, think about it, and then he kicks you out,
and then at 6 a.m. you're getting all your clothes together,
and going to your car.
You're like, wait a minute,
maybe I should've listened to him.
Then, is that when you're gonna think about it or no?
Is that a pretty accurate description
of how your nights go or no?
Am I being a dick?
Am I insulting you, am I making him feel bad about yourself?
Or, am I just being honest?
- Do you feel cute being in the room with six of these guys,
at least seven that you've seen their dicks?
- [Psychologist] And, what do they think of her?
They think she's a slut.
- That's what I'm saying. - They don't respect her.
- Absolutely. - Just like the
stripper thing, you're not empowered.
It's not good for you, you didn't use them,
they fucking used you.
- And, that's all I wish for in life,
is we all deserve mutually, respect.
- [Psychologist] Keep your fucking morality, good for you.
- Thank you.
- [Psychologist] You're saying that,
if you meet a guy that you are attracted to enough
to have sex with, you'll only have sex with him,
if you know that it can't be a serious relationship.
- Yes, I just don't let that happen.
You're a man, you should know what that's like.
- Well, it's funny, because I kinda do know what it's like,
and now I'm like, what the fuck?
Why do so many girls wanna have sex with me?
And then, I'm like, shit,
maybe that's a bad thing now that you're saying that.
Or, does that affect you,
because I just painted a picture of like,
at least one day in your last week.
(Victoria sighs) (Psychologist chuckles)
- I just don't wanna feel judged in this environment.
- - [Psychologist] It's not about being judged, it's about-
- So, fine, yeah.
If that's what, one of my days was like this past week.
Fine.
- [Psychologist] Then so be it, right?
You're a young girl, you get to do what you want,
you get to live how you want,
you get to fuck whoever you want,
you can do whatever you want, right?
And who are you to judge me, right?
Is that what you're saying?
- No, I'm saying that...
(sighs) it feels like, if I admit that that is who I am,
in this room, you're gonna tell me I'm a shitty person.
- [Psychologist] So now, that you're saying that,
it's fucking me up, because then I'm like,
wait a minute, maybe they're attracted to me to
have sex with, but they're looking at it like,
I would never be in a longterm relationship with him.
- And, I would assume you would like that, that's what-
- [Psychologist] I do, but it's still kind of insulting,
if that's where they're coming from (laughs), you know?
- Men are that way, men are that way as well.
- [Psychologist] It's case-by-case.
- Okay.
- [Psychologist] Maybe in your experience,
the men you've met are that way.
- Sure, I think all men probably are that way.
- [Psychologist] You say men, a lot,
and you say all men, a lot,
do you think you're a little bit sexist or no?
- No.
- [Psychologist] You think can judge every man as a whole?
- I will say, most then, I will say, most.
- [Psychologist] So you think it's the exact same thing,
if a girl has with lots and lots of guys,
that it is for a guy to have sex with lots of girls?
You really think that?
You don't think that,
nobody thinks that. - Why would I-
- [Psychologist] You just tell yourself that,
to justify your behavior,
so you can feel better about yourself.
Because, who, okay, there's a guy and a girl,
let's just say on a date, right?
They never had sex before.
What are the odds that the guy wants,
they're both good-looking people.
What are the odds that the guy
wants to have sex with the girl?
(Victoria pensively sighs)
Hypothetical.
- High odds.
- [Psychologist] 90, 95?
- Yes. - Okay,
so the guy clearly wants to have sex with the girl, right?
But, just because he wants to have sex,
does that mean he's gonna have sex with the girl or no?
- No.
- [Psychologist] Okay, why not?
- Because, he doesn't have to?
- [Psychologist] No, but he wants to,
but who decides whether the sex will be had,
between those two people, who decides?
- The girl.
- [Psychologist] Good.
At the bottom of everything, is everybody's insecure.
Everybody's not up front,
'cause they're afraid to show that, especially girls.
Girls don't want to just show a guy that they like them,
if they're nervous that the guy doesn't like them back.
- Yes.
- [Psychologist] What if I was to say, all women,
are a certain way?
- You should say, well, I don't, what do,
I mean, it would depend on what you were saying,
that all women are or-
- [Psychologist] All women wanna have sex with me.
(both laugh)
- Okay.
- [Psychologist] Here's the thing, I know that it's,
a completely different experience to be a girl.
I'm very well aware that as a guy,
I have no idea what it's like to be in the body
of a fucking girl, well, not in that way, I guess.
You have your own experience like that.
Yeah, even if you're like remotely attractive,
dudes wanna fuck you all the time.
- Yeah, it's really annoying.
- [Psychologist] Okay, since the girl decides, right?
Then that means that sex is, almost exclusively,
always up to the girl to decide, right?
Is that correct?
Which is good.
Right?
If the girl always decides whether sex is gonna be had,
and sex is being had pretty fucking often,
then it's the girl's decision, is it not?
Guys will fuck anybody, right?
Shouldn't the girl be more exclusive,
more selective of who she has sex with?
- Yeah.
- [Psychologist] Right?
- [Psychologist] I mean, does it make
logical sense to you or no?
- Yeah.
- [Psychologist] 'Cause, they're so insecure,
they're so nervous about what would happen if he knew.
And then, oh my god, what if he doesn't like me?
I'll feel stupid, I'll be humiliated, and whatever.
- That's why you have to, you look fear in the face,
and you tell it to fuck off.
I mean, 'cause in reality,
fear and doubt is what holds us back the most.
Until you realize that and get over that,
then you're gonna go much farther in life.
- [Psychologist] The best gauge of whether you think
that a behavior is okay,
especially when it comes to females,
is ask yourself, would you be okay if your mother did it,
your daughter did it, your sister did it?
If the answer is yes, then you know what?
Fine. - Right, these girls saying,
well, if I'm gonna, use my body for what it's worth,
no, no, who told you that, where did you?
- [Psychologist] I know,
it's an absence of any moral center.
But, say all women want a serious relationship,
sometimes they're just afraid to pursue it.
- I would say, you're wrong.
- [Psychologist] Okay, and would you say that,
I shouldn't make such a grand assessment, and say all women?
Or, would you say you feel like-
- It's just ignorant, it's just-
- [Psychologist] Shouldn't the girl hold the higher standard
than a guy?
Why have the same,
why lower your own standards to the same standards,
as a guy's lower standards?
Guys will fuck anybody, guys will fuck fat girls,
whatever it may be, why lower yourself to that standard?
Why not hold a higher standard?
I only have sex with certain guys.
I only have sex with guys that love me,
that have a certain quality, that I've known for more than-
- What kind of girls get to grow up
and have that point of view, princesses?
Girls that, from the day their born have that choice,
because there's lots of people that are born into this world
where it's not their choice how their sexual life begins,
and things start happening without their consent,
and they didn't say it was okay.
No one ever said it was okay
for the little girl to have sex.
So I'm sorry that I've had sex with so many people now.
- [Psychologist] But, why do you feel like
if that happened to you,
that you have to have sex with other guys?
What it is it about that,
you're trying to take the power back?
You're trying to control- - Yeah, maybe I want
the power back, maybe that's what it is,
because when the power's taken from you when you're little,
you have to make sense of it again.
- [Psychologist] But, is that your power ever then?
- No, I don't know. - If you go and have sex
with a lot of other guys, they still have power over you,
you're just handing it to 'em more-
- How come I don't have power of them?
- [Psychologist] Because, they are getting something
out of you, not vice versa.
What if I said, most women truly want
a serious relationship, truly wanna have a family one day,
truly feel better and happier when
they're in a relationship, and married,
and with somebody longterm, would you agree?
- I would say that, that might be.
- [Psychologist] But, not you.
- No. - Why not you?
- I don't have time for that.
- [Psychologist] How is having sex
with more creepy fucking weirdos gonna be better?
How is it gonna make it better for you?
I really wanna know, I'm really asking,
'cause I really don't know.
I really don't get that, I don't get that manifestation.
- I'm just trying to love myself more,
which is what I've done.
My New Year's resolution was to love myself, and that's
what I've been doing. - Why do you feel like
you need a resolution to love yourself more?
You don't love yourself?
- I didn't, no, I didn't.
I was very insecure. - Before (muffled speaking)-
- Yeah, probably like a year ago.
- [Psychologist] Why are you
not interested in a serious relationship?
- Because,
I have not met one man who,
is worth my time in that way.
- [Psychologist] Okay, if you did meet a man
that was worth your time-
- (laughs) Right.
- I just, sometimes am in a situation where,
I think that a guy is gonna look at me,
and he's gonna want to get to know me.
Then, usually they just end up asking to have sex with me,
and I don't feel confident enough to say,
no, there is more to me than that.
I proceed, and I hope that after I go along
with what they wanted, they'll go along with what I wanted.
You know, it happens,
they don't go along with what I wanted.
- [Psychologist] That's right, they don't,
I think you're making a bad decision,
because, can I help you?
Listen, if you meet a guy and you're into him or whatever,
and he's trying to have sex quick,
all you have to do is not have sex quick,
because at the very least,
he still wants to have sex with you.
He'll put in more time, he'll see you for the second date,
the third date, the fourth date,
all the while he learns more about you.
Then when you finally have sex with him,
then he knows more about you,
and can have more feelings towards you.
Instead of you just being some hot girl
that he fucked one night.
It wouldn't be smarter for a girl
to make the guy wait for sex,
because then you're gonna get him emotionally attached,
'cause he's been waiting around so long.
Then, when you finally have sex with him,
he cares about you emotionally.
You have sex with him right away,
he don't give a shit about you,
he just thinks you're a slut.
- At all, and if you don't have sex with him too,
and you make him wait longer and he leaves,
that's good, 'cause it just shows his true colors.
Okay, I knew it, I was just testing you motherfucker.
- [Psychologist] There you go,
and you know that's all he wanted.
You're making the wrong decision,
you shouldn't have sex with him quick.
Didn't your mom ever teach you this kind of stuff?
This is like 101, you make the guy wait,
maybe you make out with him a little, but then that's it.
Maybe the second date you fool around a little bit,
but that's it, like you gotta build it up.
How do you not know these things?
- (sighs) I don't know, I just didn't know them.
- [Psychologist] But, does it make sense to you?
- Yeah, it makes a lot of sense.
- Sometimes, I feel like,
that's why I feel like the girls
should always make the first move, to be honest.
- [Psychologist] That's, see-
- That's how I truly I feel,
because if I want that to happen,
then I'm gonna grab your hand,
and then you know you can go farther,
you know what I'm saying?
- [Psychologist] Most girls don't roll like that at all.
- I know.
- [Psychologist] Are you hopeless though,
do you think you'll never find a guy that will fit?
- I don't care.
- You don't care? - No.
- [Psychologist] You'll just go through
the rest of your life,
and never be in a serious relationship again,
and you're totally okay with that?
- Fine.
- [Psychologist] Traditionally, look at the 50s.
- Love 'em.
- [Psychologist] Guys and girls would go to get a soda
at the fucking diner,
and then they'd need a chaperone if it was past 8 p.m.
All those traditional values from like the 50s and shit,
where it's like, maybe you hold a hand on the first date,
and then you kiss a little bit on the second date.
We should go back to that.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, yeah, 'cause today's shit, yeah.
- [Psychologist] This might be the answer we're looking for,
you know why?
'Cause they understood basic human nature,
that males and females are gonna be doing stuff
if they're left alone for too long, if whatever.
And, the guy's gonna be trying to do stuff,
and the girl should, no proper girl,
no, you can't hold my hand yet,
we haven't even known each other
for more than a week. - I love it.
- [Psychologist] Yeah, today's it all a mess,
and no coincidence that everybody's so sexually open,
and blah, blah, blah.
But, at the same time, divorces are through the roof,
people that are fucking married are at their lowest
in the history of the fucking country.
STDs are up, women not being happy
and being old cat ladies who can't even find a fucking-
- Yeah.
- [Psychologist] Dudes being fucking beta males,
kissing girls asses,
'cause they don't know how to fucking act around women,
all these problems are fucking coming.
All that sexual revolution shit, it's not working,
it's not fucking working. - Yeah, it's not.
- Kissing the hand, the forehead.
- Holding hands. - Opening your door,
opening your chair when you sit down,
it's all the old, things that are just,
I feel like, meant to be,
and now today they just rap about bitches.
- [Psychologist] Again, that's why you're here,
so that I can try to figure out what's going on.
'Cause you know,
a lot of times the person
who knows the least about a person, is themselves.
- Victoria, off the phone please.
Victoria, I am looking for the Jeffrey Bolton deposition,
it was supposed to be on my desk at 7:00.
I can't seem to find it anywhere, it wasn't on my desk.
- I filed that.
- You think you know more already?
- [Psychologist] I don't think that,
but I think it's possible.
- Okay.
Did you put in Room A or did you put it in Room B,
do you remember?
- Room B.
- [Psychologist] That's why I'm in this business, right?
I'm able to pick up on cues, I'm able to pick up on,
things you might say or ways you might come across,
that you're not necessarily aware of.
- All of the depositions, I've told you this so many times,
they go into Room A, in alphabetical order.
I need that deposition and I need you to find it.
Can we clean up in here?
I'm so sick of it looking like a bomb went off,
every time I enter this room.
I'm here to give it a shot, yes.
- [Psychologist] Okay, but you know,
I would ask that you don't have you defenses up.
- You know, Victoria,
we had the wrong date on the Thompson case file.
Your notes were completely sloppy,
I gave you this job,
because you said that you were hardworking,
you said that you were detail-oriented,
and are neither of those things!
Well, I am here. - In the end,
I'm on your side.
- Are you, okay? - Yeah, totally.
- Yeah, you're here to help, right?
You help people.
- [Psychologist] That's my whole life goal.
- I need someone who can get things right,
do you understand if you can't,
you won't be here much longer.
- Samantha, woo?
(papers rustling)
Can I ask you a question?
Have you ever worked in an office before?
- [Psychologist] You gotta realize that
I'm telling you things that are gonna help you.
- Yeah, no, I think that a lot of stuff
has been really helpful.
- Because, you're feeling like you're trying to help women,
by waking them up,
but you're scared that you're gonna maybe,
shake up someone's who not ready to face their shit.
- [Psychologist] You know what's progress?
That you haven't been drinking.
You know what's progress?
That you look so much better, that you look brighter,
that your pretty face is coming through again,
as opposed to all that heavy, dark makeup
that you always used to wear, that's progress.
- I am here to give it a try, to see if that is the case.
- [Psychologist] Why though, why did you make that step,
to finally do that?
- Because, I've not had a decent night's sleep in,
in years, I can't,
I think maybe the last time I had a good night's sleep
was maybe five, six years ago.
- [Psychologist] Really?
- We've been coming in late, we've been leaving early,
and that's absolutely unacceptable.
Henry, I know you're new,
but you lost a client last month?
Because, of something that happened to me and,
sleep is kind of, a trigger for all those things to come up,
and I am unable to have a good night's sleep.
- [Psychologist] Well, let's hold off
a little bit on what happened.
- Listen, I apologize,
my wife had our first kid, last month.
- Excuses, excuses, Henry.
You told me that your wife was pregnant,
and you said that it would not affect your work here,
and it is. - In Henry's defense,
that guy is not the- - Roger, Roger, you can
leave the meeting now, okay?
Out, anyone else wanna interrupt?
- [Psychologist] Not only do you want
a better night's sleep,
but you'd like to be happier in general, no?
- Well, of course, I would like to be happier, yes.
Victoria, you're always late,
we can discuss that further later.
- [Psychologist] The progress is that
you are actually saying, oh, yeah,
because this, I thought this.
That's you thinking for yourself, that's progress.
That's progress, not,
I joined some group that tells me what to fucking think,
that's not progress.
- No, you're right.
- [Psychologist] Are you not happy?
- Well, I am,
I am,
I'm not entirely happy.
You've let this company down, you've let me down,
you've let all of us down.
This meeting is over, get out, get out!
- Can you imagine the world,
if every single human being was,
in their self power, of expression of exactly what they-
- [Psychologist] That's how the world should be.
I understand that you're trying,
but at the same time it's like,
you gotta keep in mind,
there's such a big picture to things.
You have to stop seeing things small picture
through your own eyes, and see things through a grander view
of what the big picture is.
(Victoria sighs)
- That's a lot to take in.
- [Psychologist] Are you able to put your finger on
why you're not happy?
- I'm not, I don't know, I'm not, I don't,
I'm not able to. - Is that also
why you're here?
To try to figure that out?
- I don't need to know that.
- [Psychologist] When you reach a true level of happiness,
me telling you anything, would never bring you down,
no matter what it is.
Not one thing, and not because you don't believe me,
but because you know and you're aware of things.
What anybody else says, what anybody else does,
is not gonna affect you badly, no matter what it is.
Could be the worst thing ever somebody could say to you.
- Okay, yeah,
that's when I'll know that I'm, good?
- [Psychologist] And then, you can stop coming to me.
Are you looking forward to that (chuckles)?
- Will you be offended?
- [Psychologist] Nope.
What would you say if I told you that,
my goal is to make you happy?
- I would say that is reaching very high.
- I don't wanna feel shitty all the time.
- [Psychologist] Then you shouldn't.
- I haven't been feeling as shitty lately.
- [Psychologist] And, why?
- Just think, the stuff we talk about,
it's really hard for me to listen to, you know?
'Cause, you are really brutally honest,
but I feel like, 'cause I write everything down afterwards,
and I try to honestly take it in.
I think it's helping me be more honest with myself.
- [Psychologist] You do seem very guarded.
- Okay, well,
I don't really know you.
- It just seems really,
unbelievable that I could feel good, like really good,
without other people looking at me,
and telling me that I'm good.
- Why do you care about it? - I care about it,
because, first of all, I care about everybody,
I care about you.
I don't have to know people well to care about them.
- I had to go home, and change and-
- No one wonder our productivity is down,
this isn't a social circle,
this isn't how we do things here.
- Samantha, I was just- - Roger, Roger, you came
over here just to talk to the ladies?
- [Psychologist] This is a place where you can literally
feel like you can just say anything and everything.
- Well, I don't really know you
very well, yet. - We have to get
to know each other first? - Well, I mean, it's just,
give me a minute. - Well...
- We were just talking about- - You know, sexual harassment
is a very, very serious issue in the workplace.
You saw the sexual harassment video,
and you signed off on it saying, that you wouldn't do it.
Yet, here you are flirting as usual.
- Samantha, he wasn't- - Now, I've seen it
more than once, okay?
- [Psychologist] I don't think that you should
dwell on the things you didn't have.
And, to make yourself a victim by saying,
if only I had this,
and if only this person didn't do this to me,
and if only I had more of this,
those things keep you down more than anything else.
- We're just having a conversation, we're sorry
if it bothered you. - Talking about our weekend.
- No, I'm sorry I don't accept that.
I don't accept that, not here, not in the workplace.
I'm not gonna let you do this to women.
Just tell you everything I'm feeling?
- [Psychologist] No, but I can tell there's things
you don't wanna tell me.
I don't know if it's that
you're not being honest with yourself,
or if it's like, you just don't wanna be honest with me.
- I've got my eye on you.
- Okay, you know, we just need to get past this,
and just get back to work.
- Yeah, you do need to get back to work.
I think that's a great idea.
- Okay.
- You know, you guys really should care too.
It's not okay for him to come over here, and talk to you,
and stare at you like that.
- Oh, he wasn't staring, he was just talking.
- He's never disrespected me, ever.
- I've seen it more than once,
and the men, they're all the same.
They seem so harmless.
- People get too much authority,
and then just like, think that they're the top.
When it's like reality, we're all fucking equal.
- They said I'm,
little miss perfect, and I'm daddy's favorite.
- [Psychologist] You didn't think that was accurate?
- Not at all, I was like,
'cause my dad was a fucking asshole, he was mean.
- [Psychologist] I'm leaning towards,
you don't wanna be honest with yourself.
- What do you, I mean, I'll tell you (hands slap),
I mean, I'll tell you what you-
- [Psychologist] Why don't you want to be in a relationship?
- Wanna know (sighs).
I already answered that question.
- [Psychologist] See, you're guarded again.
Do you think that you were attracted to the guy
that you dated, who was kind of abusive?
- Yeah, he- - 'Cause he reminded you
of your dad. - Yes.
- [Psychologist] You don't feel like
you ever got your dad's approval then?
- I don't have my dad's approval, no, no.
I will never get it.
- I told you, I don't- - Because, no men
meet your standard,
but what I wanted to know was,
that if there was somebody who did,
would you be willing to do it?
I don't even believe in porn, I think it's bad for society.
- I like, I love that about you.
That's so refreshing. - I think it's ridiculous.
Is that something you think you'd want?
- Well, I suppose it would depend on the person.
I just, I guess I don't see that happening,
but I suppose maybe if,
I mean, it'd be hard to imagine
that there's anyone out there.
- [Psychologist] You're so negative.
- How good of you to show up,
you know you're almost an hour late?
This isn't even, okay, why -- this first.
What, what are you wearing?
That is absolutely unacceptable.
I can almost see your everything,
pull down and pull up, you know what?
Here, cover it, cover yourself.
Do you see it as negativity?
- [Psychologist] Yeah, of course,
you saying that you probably never will be somebody
you wanna be in a relationship with,
is totally fucking negative.
We're gonna pause real quick.
Make sure you are aware of what's driving you.
- Right. - See, that's my whole thing.
- Right, right.
- Dude, our entire society,
is based on somebody else's ideas.
- That's what I'm saying. - Everything we do,
everything, our clothes, our outlook, our life goals,
the way we spend our life, the jobs we choose, college.
And said, here, this is what it is,
because I've learned this and this is the truth.
We're telling you this now, but what if,
what if that information is not true?
But, in the end, your core self is built on how you feel,
and think about yourself.
If you think negatively of yourself,
there's nobody that could fucking help you.
You have to fix that.
Everything is because of what somebody else came up with.
Just for a minute, can't we at least entertain,
maybe those ideas are wrong.
An intelligent thing,
not just a vast universe of randomness,
consciously created this world to be what it is,
and that's why everything makes so much sense.
You came here early today, again,
because what, you're bored?
- I don't- - You like coming here.
You come here, you give me shit, and you argue with me,
but then you show up like an hour early the next time.
What does that tell you?
- Well, maybe you don't have enough patients on your books,
and I'm just taking advantage of it.
- [Psychologist] Well, no, I don't,
because I try to focus on
a smaller amount of people at a time,
and that's good for you.
- Yeah, no, I, you know,
I'll admit some of the conversations we have,
have been very inspiring. - Cool, that's good to know.
- Yeah, I like how I sound when I talk to you too, you know?
When I talk to my friends,
I just don't get to the places that,
that I get to with you, with them.
If I get too upset, it's hard for me to mean what I say,
because I can't even address the issue, yet.
I work my way into it. - You're so emotional.
- I am really emotional. - You actually seem like
there's a flood of emotion coming through your face,
all day, you don't ever seem like, just blank.
You always seem very emotional.
- I would never wanna seem blank.
- [Psychologist] I know, that's great.
I'm not saying it's bad, but I'm just saying like,
wow, you have a ton of emotion.
I could see that when you're in,
whatever relationship fights, or conflicts, or whatever,
that you probably really break down and get really upset.
You don't have moments of weakness where you're like-
- Of course, we have 20,000 thoughts a day, of course.
Did you know that?
Yeah.
- [Psychologist] I thought it was just me.
- No, and we only utilize this half of our brain,
so why not reach that other point?
- I need to forgive the younger me that's hurt.
Even though, I'm hurting as I'm older,
but it's more of the younger to me that's more hurt,
that I have to let go of, that's more scarred,
'cause that was the hardest part of my life.
- Here, it's like,
you're bringing it out in me more and more,
and I like that, and I'm thriving in it, and I wanna apply
it to my life more. - What happens now,
when you go and talk to other people,
your friends and stuff like that,
who are not necessarily there?
Do you try to get them there, in turn?
- Dude, I'm scared, you know?
I wanna keep them as friends.
I try to find clever ways to implement whatever it is
I think I'm learning here, you know?
- [Psychologist] But, do you think that they'll have
a harsh reaction to it?
- If I were to just straight forward be like,
saying some of the concepts we talk about here,
just (blows air) right in, no, it's not a good approach.
They would be like, fuck you, you're talking to some sadist,
who has these extreme ideas, da, da, da, da.
But, I know that like, you don't have extreme ideas,
you're just pushing me to think a certain way.
- [Psychologist] Yeah, I mean, I'm a normal person, right?
- Yeah, it's hard for me to- - Do you think I come across
crazy with things that I say and do?
- I think some of the things you say on purpose,
to push me to think a certain way,
but I don't think that you sound crazy.
I might be naive, maybe you are crazy.
- [Psychologist] I think that I come across so non-crazy,
that I can get people to open their minds to things
that they never would have, if somebody else said it.
- I agree with that, and I'm trying to replicate that.
That's awesome. - It's like, one of the
best things I've ever seen you do.
- That's really cool.
That's really cool.
That's great feedback.
- [Psychologist] On human nature,
let's go to the girl's side.
Now, my premise on the girl's side is following.
- Okay.
- [Psychologist] Girls, yes, can be attracted to a guy
physically just based on looks or whatever, fine.
But, I submit that that is an exception to the rule,
and that there's actually a very low percentage of
people/situations that that happens in.
I think that a girl needs,
yes, needs a guy to be good looking,
but needs other things.
Needs a deeper connection, needs intelligence,
needs a sense of humor, need confidence.
The guy's gotta have all these things going for him,
or at least some of these things, whatever,
something to find attractive. - But, vice versa.
Vice versa, know that it's not just,
he's gotta have this, this, this, this, and this.
I have to be carrying all these, this, this,
this things too, you know?
- Coming from a person who has explored,
trying to be equal to men in sexual aggression or whatever,
needing to have sex a lot.
Realizing that it made me feel shitty,
and it made me feel worthless,
and that it just really wasn't something
I was capable of, as hard as I tried
to feel like I could be that way.
It was so against my nature,
but I was supported in my society, being told that,
no, it's cool, be the same as a man.
You can behave the same as him, and feel the same,
and it's fine, that's how it should be.
But, really by pushing women to try to be that way,
you are breaking them down,
because it is just against their nature.
It's not in their best interests,
and we're not capable of it, we are just not.
I've witnessed, trying to inspire my friends to be kind of,
slutty, how uncomfortable they become,
and how unsure, and how unaware,
and how vulnerable, and broken they become.
There I was thinking I was helping them,
but I was hurting them,
because I thought that I had figured out a way to have like,
the same armor as men have naturally, where we don't.
What you're saying is,
instead of giving women no responsibility for their actions,
and saying, go fuck around.
You can take a Plan B pill, you can erase the baby.
You're not responsible for your bad decision.
You can just abort it.
Instead of that, reminding them of,
how sacred it is that we get to have a baby,
and that we are the ones that create it,
and we control the sperm, being inside of us.
If we actually go back and think about,
who are we gonna let into our body?
It's not that we need to be prudes,
and never let anyone have sex with us,
but take the subject more seriously.
Then, we can empower each other,
by knowing we are the biggest part of the puzzle.
We are the most important part of this equation,
and we should not treat ourselves like worthless,
replaceable, trash bins for semen.
'Cause, if we're just the sock that they come into,
whenever they feel like it,
then we're just a dirty fucking sock
that gets washed up, and then renewed,
but we're never the same.
I think I understand that,
and personally, I found a place in my life where,
I was disgusted with myself.
Trying to have sex with people,
that I didn't wanna have sex with.
I did put a halt to it,
and it became really confusing
for relationships I was having.
People were saying, why wouldn't you have sex with me?
I'm like, 'cause I'm not sure if I want to.
And then, they didn't wanna hang out anymore,
and then I got to see what the relationship was.
Then, the moment I did decide to
actually have sex with someone,
because felt like it was right.
Now, I'm in the most amazing relationship I've ever had.
Sex is different, it's never been the way that it is, now.
- Good for you. - I think I understand.
- [Psychologist] Good for you.
Why are you here?
- (blows raspberry) I'm, you know,
I think I'm having a breakthrough.
You make me have breakthroughs, you know?
- [Psychologist] Really.
- Yeah, the stuff you say, it's getting in there. - [Psychologist] That's good.
I would say, in general,
I wouldn't let LA adapt you too much.
- No, right. - You know what I'm saying?
- No, totally, it's just definitely opened my eyes
to the things that I wouldn't really be open to before.
- [Psychologist] Okay.
- But, I'm not like,
I'm still gonna keep my,
views pretty strict, in a sense,
but I guess, open up some doors to be like,
oh, okay, okay, you know?
For instance, I said like,
I don't wanna go to Hollywood or the Hills parties,
and I think they're crazy,
and they're filled with a bunch of like,
crazy people and drugs, things of that nature.
It was like, that's all I've been doing all summer.
- [Psychologist] Yeah, but what if I just said,
you can't come to me anymore, that's it,
this is the last time?
Tonight is the last time. - Then shit gets real.
- I think we all have that thought like,
damn, bet you'd be nice in bed, you know I'm saying?
We all have that thought.
- [Psychologist] Do you have that thought?
- Okay, you can't tell me guys don't think that too.
They're going to be like, damn, you know what I'm saying?
- [Psychologist] Let me tell you what,
with every single girl who's above a seven, yes.
All day, every day, absolutely.
- Yeah, I might glance and I'm like, they're cute,
but I don't wanna pursue it and that's the difference.
It's like, thoughts can be thought all day,
but it's your actions.
- You think I'm in the place where I don't need you anymore?
- [Psychologist] I don't know, you tell me.
- The reverse psychology thing.
- A fucked up guy- - Yeah, I heard
he wasn't shit.
Yeah, but, man, like I said,
when you have a crazy guy,
the woman has to be somewhat crazy as well, you know?
Especially, if you stick around for as long as you do,
and have a kid with somebody, you know if somebody's crazy.
My mom was crazy, so I had to be real with myself initially.
- [Psychologist] Well, I mean,
they have to be crazy or very insecure,
attached to the relationship. - That part, that part.
- [Psychologist] You know what I'm saying?
Because, especially a lot of women are like,
battered women say, they're not necessarily crazy,
but they're like, kind of just, you know,
stuck to the relationship,
because maybe they feel like they can't do any better.
Or, they're afraid to leave, or whatever,
you know what I mean?
- Yeah, you're right, no, you're right.
You saying it right now, I never thought of that.
- [Psychologist] But, I'm just saying, in general,
I think that where women go wrong is,
that they don't have a good finger on what they want.
- I agree with that.
- [Psychologist] You know?
- I mean, some women do, but a lot of us don't.
- Yeah, of course. - Yeah.
- It's funny, because I look at it like this, right?
I watched this video it's called,
this dude's talking about fish love.
I think about that in my relationships and shit,
and when you buy, when you love someone, right?
A guy goes fishing, right?
Catches a fish, cooks the fish, eat it,
man, he said, oh my god, I fucking love fish.
Then God's like, oh, you love fish?
Yeah, I love fish.
He says, so you love fish, you kill it,
you cook it, and you eat it, so you love the fish, right?
He said, yeah.
He said, do you love the fish
or do you love what it does for you?
A lot of time it's just fish love we have for people.
Do I love this woman, because of what I see in her,
and what she does to make me happy?
Not what I see in her truly.
I remember when we spoke earlier,
and about being selfish and shit,
well, at the end of day,
we're all doing for us in something.
Everything we do is for us.
- [Psychologist] That's when you know in a relationship,
if somebody really cares about you,
they don't care about what you're doing for them,
they care about you,
and what makes you happy, your wellbeing.
- That's the girl I have now.
It's like that, but it's hard for me to give back,
when I ain't got shit to give, because I don't know how to.
- It's human nature.
I'm not gonna, bash on like, there's no,
you can't help that, you know what I'm saying?
- [Psychologist] You don't blame men for having
sexual desires towards women based strictly on looks?
- No, just don't act on it.
- [Psychologist] Okay, good.
- I mean, it's one of those things,
it's not gonna go away, that's just how,
it's the way you think.
It's the way you think, so it's like,
I could get pissed about it all fucking day,
but it's like, that's how your brain works.
We have a partial of it that works that way sometimes,
but majority of it is like, we want more than that.
- [Psychologist] You don't seem like that kind of dude.
- About not having shit to give?
- [Psychologist] You seem like a very compassionate
and loving person. - I am.
- [Psychologist] Actually, to tell you the truth,
I'm surprised when you tell me that,
you didn't have a mom in your life,
because you seem like the type of person
who most definitely would.
- Yeah.
- [Psychologist] You don't seem like a cold,
all-business type of dude.
You seem like a very compassionate dude.
I don't think I even believe that that's true.
Maybe you think that about yourself,
but I don't think that's the reality.
- Yes, I am having issues sleeping, lots of anxiety.
- [Psychologist] Anxiety about what?
- About my own experiences,
and I need to wipe the slate clean so I can...
- [Psychologist] You're having general anxiety,
or is there specific- - I'm having anxiety, yeah,
and I need to find a way to combat,
if you can help me find a way to combat anxiety,
maybe some tools that I can take home, so that I can sleep.
- [Psychologist] ...a very warm, compassionate,
loving dude, I can tell.
I've met some cold, horrible fucking people, dude, trust me.
I have met some horrible, cold, fucking sociopath,
fucking horrible people,
and you don't fall into that category.
- I appreciate it. - I think you should
keep in mind that, you do have that to offer,
you're probably just not aware of it.
You probably think that,
because you've had that situation with your mom,
that maybe you're not capable of it.
Well, I would need to know what the problem is first,
and so would you.
- Okay.
- [Psychologist] Maybe we should try to figure that out?
- Okay.
- [Psychologist] You know what we need to do,
in order to do that? - What's that?
- [Psychologist] You have to be open.
- I am open, I am here.
- [Psychologist] Just because you're here,
doesn't mean you're open.
You have to be open to discussing things
that might make you uncomfortable to talk about,
or even think about.
- Okay.
- [Psychologist] So you're down, that sounds good to you?
You sure?
- I said yes.
- [Psychologist] For me, it's not,
I just don't like where it's at.
I just don't like how it goes.
I don't like that you-
- I feel like you don't trust me, and that sucks.
- [Psychologist] In what way?
- You don't give me the benefit of the doubt.
- [Psychologist] You're so hostile, why are you hostile?
- I don't think that that is accurate.
I've been bending over backwards for you.
Do you understand that?
Your case is a very, very difficult case,
and you don't look very good.
- [Psychologist] No, you don't think you're hostile?
- No, I don't. - You're a little defensive.
- Why are you calling me, why are you saying?
- [Psychologist] See, look,
you're defensive and hostile right now.
- What is the point in telling me that?
- [Psychologist] So that you know, so you stop doing it.
- My job is to get the truth across.
My job is to make sure that you...
Excuse me?
Mr. Bolton, you can not speak to me that way,
I will not allow it.
Okay, why don't you give me tools,
so that I can- - I'm trying to
give you tools, by you giving me tools.
- Don't you dare talk to me that way.
I have bent over backwards for this case,
and you clearly are not
appreciating anything that I've done.
That is absolutely not true.
I have a huge stake in this company.
Our reputation is golden,
which is more than I can say for yours.
- [Psychologist] I need to know what the problem is.
- You don't look very good,
and there are a lot of people who don't like you.
Don't like me?
I told you what my problem was-
- [Psychologist] No, you didn't.
You said, you told me- - I have some issues in my
past that I need to work through,
and do you need to know my issues?
No, you said, no, in the beginning of this conversation,
you said, let's not go there.
- [Psychologist] I said, let's not go there yet.
- If you feel that way, then you can go elsewhere.
(phone slams)
(computer keys clicking)
- When you say confident people,
'cause I see a lot of what appears to be confident,
but then when you really break it down,
it's a bit of a mask.
I feel like a lot of people are wearing masks.
- Almost all of the time. - What is confident?
What do you define confidence as?
- [Psychologist] I define confident as,
you don't need to wear a fucking mask.
Is that, you can be yourself all the fucking time,
and be completely fine with it.
You don't need to bring other people down,
and try to insult somebody else or hurt somebody else,
to feel good about yourself, 'cause you don't need that.
That's the real confidence. - You feel like that means
someone that knows themselves?
Would you say? - Yeah, you have to
know yourself to be able to do that.
You're not telling me what the problem is,
you're telling me how the problem is manifesting.
You saying that you can't sleep,
I'm not gonna just give you Ambien, and be like,
go ahead, get a good night's sleep.
We have to find out
why you're here. - I already have Ambien.
- [Psychologist] Your problem is not that you can't sleep,
the problem is what's causing you to not be able to sleep.
- Yes, I would like to have some tools.
- Right, and you're right,
like they say, hurt people hurt people.
I think a lot of the time when I spoke, I quote, unquote,
I was shopping hungry.
Like they say, don't ever shop hungry,
'cause you'll buy the shit that you'll eat right now,
and you won't think longevity.
I'm in a state of anger, so when I'm happy of course,
it's like people say, oh, I wanna kill myself.
Of course you wanna kill yourself in your lower state,
feel the greatest you?
You won't ever think about killing yourself,
it's just, it's in the mode, right?
You're right, I'm hurt like a motherfucker.
- 'Cause, I think we have moments where you like,
really believe in me, and you're like,
she's fucking awesome.
And then, you're like, more time-
- [Psychologist] 'Cause you keep slipping.
You keep going off, you don't stay consistent.
Actually, that's funny that you say that,
because you're right.
Because, I actually, consciously had the thought,
yesterday or whatever it was, that you're not consistent.
That's why I said to you on the phone the other day,
I'm like, did I lose you, are you still with me?
- Right, okay, but this is what's so weird.
For me, I'm all in.
- [Psychologist] From my end,
I don't know if we're quite there yet.
- I mean, I still got some wrinkles I'm straightening out.
- [Psychologist] (chuckles) Just some?
- I mean, okay, the paper's crumbled, okay?
But, it's like, pull it out, iron it a little bit.
- [Psychologist] Oh, isn't that a saying?
That once the paper is crumpled up,
it can't be perfect again?
You felt powerless with your mom,
because you couldn't control that.
You couldn't get her to come back,
you couldn't get her to love you, and take care of you,
and all this kind of stuff.
You couldn't get her to do this, you had no power.
- What we need in the world, is women to be strong,
because the man always looks up to the woman.
As a kid, the kid, boy,
is always gonna look up to the woman as the role model.
Therefore, a man actually needs a woman to show him the way.
(acoustic guitar music)
- I hate hypocrites.
I hate people that project an illusion of their persona,
and then fucking go back on it, because it's bullshit.
'Cause they're fucking liars.
They stand there and they say, that they love this,
and they appreciate this, and this is so fucking great.
And then, they turn to your face.
and they abandoned every fucking thing they just said.
- [Psychologist] And I like you,
but you're a fucking pain in the ass, dude.
- No. - You are, you fucking are.
- I think that, I think, no, honestly, look,
I listen to everything that you say, and I take it in.
- [Psychologist] Well, you haven't seen me in a long time,
and I think maybe you need to see me more often.
- I knew you thought that. - 'Cause, you fucking lost
your shit, you did.
You need somebody in your life
who's gonna straighten you out,
because I know that you have, the situation where you
didn't really have a father figure in your life.
I know that you either- - You know too much.
I don't give a fuck about the little person I created.
She can go off,
and do whatever the fuck she wants with her life,
and I don't care.
- [Psychologist] I think you need to figure out what to do,
and what is important and what's not.
Find the things that aren't,
and put those things on the back burner.
- I do not disagree. - You need to like,
consciously figure out,
this is what I need to spend time on.
This is what I need to focus on,
and this is what is gonna waste my time.
- Take responsibility for your fucking having a kid.
You have three.
- [Psychologist] Why do you have anxiety?
What are you worried about?
- Are you asking me what happened or, I don't understand.
- [Psychologist] Well, however you wanna answer me.
Why do you have anxiety?
What are you sad about, what are you worried about,
what's the problem?
- I,
have had issues
and situations in the past
that have led me to not be able to sleep.
It is a trigger.
- [Psychologist] Do you wanna tell me what those are?
- I take you very seriously.
And even if there's time in between us seeing each other,
I think of like, what you've said to me or-
- [Psychologist] I get disappointed, I'm like,
dude, I thought I had a positive influence on this girl.
I do (muffled speaking). - I try to be
so reflective, too. - Isn't it weird?
- Yes, that's sad. - We have a
very strange relationship,
because I feel like- - I wanna talk.
- [Psychologist] As part of this thing,
I'm trying to be a positive influence
on you in many ways, right?
But, sometimes I'm like, dude, and then,
I'm like, oh, that's awesome.
And then, something happens, and then I'm like,
oh, that sucks.
I'm disappointed- - But, isn't there any
side of that that can be your responsibility,
of the fact that you keep doubting me,
and I'm not actually changing.
- I can tell you what's, I can tell you what's going on.
- [Psychologist] Are you comfortable?
- I'm uncomfortable, I've never been
in this scenario before,
but if that's what needs to happen
in order for you to help me, then I will do it.
- [Psychologist] Well, we have to start with
you being comfortable.
We don't want you to feel like
you're doing something you don't wanna do.
- Okay, well, I don't, this is new,
and I was told that you could help me.
And so far, you're not helping me,
you're calling me hostile, and you're calling-
- All right, relax. - Calling me defensive.
- [Psychologist] Relax, relax, let me talk.
You don't mind me saying to you,
dude, you're fucked up,
because this blah, blah, blah, right?
Or, do you?
- You said, that I fucked up or that I am fucked up?
- [Psychologist] Both, neither, whatever.
- I mean, I don't love that you're saying that.
- [Psychologist] I'm not saying
you're fucked up as a person, I'm saying like,
whatever I'm saying. - No, I see truth
in what you're saying,
'cause I'm frustrated with my lifestyle right now.
I have- - Yeah, you seem like a mess,
you seem like you're all over the place.
Obviously, you haven't been to a psychologist before,
but the groundwork is, I need to know about you.
I need to know what you think.
I need to know how you feel.
I need to know what your experiences were, good and bad,
and I need to know what you think the problem is.
So yes, you're being defensive and hostile,
when I ask you these questions.
I think maybe, that's where I'm going wrong.
I'm not explaining to you what the process is.
Now, that I've explained to you what the process is,
I need you to open up to me a little bit,
and answer some questions that I have about you.
- Okay.
- No, but you're so direct.
That, you're asking me, is it okay?
I'm like, yeah.
- [Psychologist] Yeah.
- Yeah.
- [Psychologist] So you're okay with that?
But, you're okay with that on every level,
or you're okay with that,
with just setting appointments and shit?
- What other levels are there?
- [Psychologist] Level 3.
- Ha, ha. That's clever. - The whole thing,
the everything, the everything that you are.
The first question I have is,
why do you think that you have anxiety?
- I have anxiety,
because of,
something that happened
several years ago.
- [Psychologist] I know, but I'm saying, in general,
you're very defensive.
Is it the weird fucking thing, okay,
so when I called you up and told you that,
what was your reaction to that?
- My feelings were hurt.
- [Psychologist] Why?
- You said you were disappointed in me.
- [Psychologist] What happened?
- I was,
I was,
I was drugged and raped.
- [Psychologist] Really?
What ended up happening, did you go to the police,
or did anything happen? - I did not.
- You didn't? - No.
- [Psychologist] Why not?
- Conflict of interest.
- [Psychologist] How?
- He was a friend of my boss at the time.
- [Psychologist] Now, when you do or say something,
that I feel like is off the path
of where I'm trying to help you go,
it really bothers me.
It really, that's what I'm saying, it bothers me too much.
I shouldn't be, or maybe I shouldn't be that bothered,
and then what's the solution to that?
What do I do about that, what do I do with that, you know?
What do I fucking do about that?
- I don't know, well, you talked to me about it.
I don't know if that made you feel better,
but what did I do?
How did I piss you off?
- [Psychologist] You see him again after that?
- I have seen him, twice.
- [Psychologist] How did that go?
- I did not talk to him.
- [Psychologist] Did he try to talk to you?
- No.
- [Psychologist] I wish you would just fucking listen to me.
- I do listen to you.
- [Psychologist] You kind of don't.
- (sighs) I don't view it that way.
- [Psychologist] Was it like you were already kind of,
romantically involved a little bit or was it just-
- No, no, I was not, no, I wasn't.
- [Psychologist] You weren't even interested-
- No, I was not, no, I was not.
- [Psychologist] You weren't on a date with him?
- No, I didn't, I was not on a date, it was at a party.
- I'm sorry that I've disappointed you or frustrated you,
but I don't, I don't know what to say.
It's real life,
I am who I am.
- [Psychologist] You were at a party,
and the next thing you know,
you wake up somewhere,
with the guy?
- He was actually, he was just,
he was there, I saw him, yes.
- [Psychologist] You didn't wake up like during,
when it was happening?
- It's very, very hazy.
There are moments I was in and out,
especially in the beginning.
- [Psychologist] How do you feel like,
you would wanna handle that?
Would you wanna have him arrested,
or would you wanna have something happen to him,
or you don't think it would make a difference?
- I do not think it would make a difference.
- I'm just so frustrated,
because I really thought that you were like,
seeing me for who I am, and you don't!
You think I'm some piece of shit,
and it's so frustrating, 'cause I'm not.
I'm not perfect, sometimes I get confused
if people are sexualizing me in their head,
and I'm like, no, I'm just here for business.
But, people are always sexualizing me,
and maybe it's just in my head,
maybe that's just what I think.
- It wouldn't make a difference,
there are so many of them out there.
- [Psychologist] But, maybe you do that,
so he can't do it to somebody else.
- It's too late, I'm a lawyer,
and I know that I don't have a case against him
at this point.
I have zero evidence whatsoever.
- [Psychologist] Wow.
I do really, really care about you,
and just, you know, to hear you say that,
just, I can't, stop, don't say that.
I just can't hear that.
You think about it a lot?
- Not while I'm working.
Fortunately, I'm very busy, but that is why,
I need some tools to help me in the evening,
because that's, that's when I think about it.
- [Psychologist] I do think you're a fucking good person.
I could see that you're a good person,
but I could also see that you're, very vulnerable,
you're like the most vulnerable person I've ever known.
I mean, my thing would be that,
you would have to confront that situation.
That you would have to face that, and not try to bury it,
and not think about it,
but you have to come to terms with it for yourself.
- Okay, I don't know, how do you do that?
I don't really know. - Well, I mean,
that takes time, it's a pretty serious thing,
but there's a lot of things
that can happen psychologically to you,
after something like that happens.
You could think in some way it's your fault.
You can resent men.
- I do not think it's my fault.
- [Psychologist] No, I know, I'm saying,
these are things that could happen,
when that happens to someone.
- I just wanna make you not disappointed me anymore.
But, I'm just making you frustrated.
- [Psychologist] You could feel like you're always on guard.
You could feel like you're always trying to,
keep people at a distance,
that you're kind of afraid to be in certain situations.
I mean, there's a lot of things that can come of that.
The first thing would be to kind of, as hard as it is,
try to not bury it, and try to face it,
and figure out how you feel about it, how you look at it.
- I know how I feel about it.
- [Psychologist] Tell me, how do you feel about it?
- I am very, I am angry about it, of course.
I don't think anyone has the right to do that.
Men do not have the right to do that, to women.
- [Psychologist] I agree.
(Victoria sighs)
- It just means there's no progress.
- [Psychologist] And so with this one girl,
I think it just got too, too deep,
and too personal, and too serious.
- Do you feel like she'll work it out?
- [Psychologist] I don't know.
- I'm angry about it and I,
something needs to be done about it.
I just, it's too late for this specific situation, but,
maybe not in the future.
- Answer your fucking phone (sniffling).
(knocking at door)
One second.
- [Psychologist] Do you think that that's a factor
in why you're not interested in having a relationship?
- I just,
I don't know.
It's like, they're all the same.
- I'm just like, playing over and over again in my head.
What you said and what I said.
I didn't mean it,
so I don't think that you meant what you said either.
I don't think, you think that I'm crazy.
I don't think, that you think that I'm hopeless.
I think you were just saying things to be mean,
and you thought that it would make me go away,
but you're wrong.
I'm not going away and I'm not going anywhere.
- [Psychologist] Do you think that
you're afraid to maybe get close to somebody,
'cause you're afraid of what kind of,
hurt that they can do to you?
- I don't, could be, I'm not sure.
- [Psychologist] I mean, it is a heavy thing.
That's serious stuff.
- Okay.
Okay.
- If I was too angry, well, I'm really sorry,
I didn't mean to be so angry.
I just, you're not being very fair,
but ultimately I just would really like it
if you'd call me back.
You should pick up your phone,
and listen to all of my goddamn voicemails,
and try calling me back.
(Victoria sighs)
(paper rustling)
- [Psychologist] Do you feel like,
you have a different view of men since that happened?
- Somewhat, but even before him,
there were always signs that,
I've been around enough men to know what they're like.
I know.
- [Psychologist] But, you know all men
are not like that, right?
- Not all, no, but many.
- [Psychologist] Many that you encounter.
- That I've encountered, sure.
- [Psychologist] But, I'm sure there's
a lot of good people out there, right?
- Sure, I'm sure there are- - Who would never do that.
(Victoria sighs)
There's plenty of guys that would never do that.
- Okay.
- [Psychologist] Do you believe that?
- I'm sure there are guys that wouldn't do that.
(Victoria sighs)
It's hard to tell which ones,
they're so good at pretending to be one thing, and then,
being something completely different.
- I hate my father.
I hate myself.
- It's something that reflects in all of us.
We all have the capability of being really fucked up.
- Then, I'm like (blows air).
(sighs) I don't know.
- [Psychologist] I think you got a lot
you still gotta figure out.
But, really, I can't help you, you have to help yourself.
- But, that's so scary.
- [Psychologist] How is this helping you?
It's been months of this, how is this helping you?
- How are you helping me?
- [Psychologist] How is any of this helping you?
- No one lives happily ever after.
- But, there is a line, like we were talking about before,
there is a line you gotta draw,
because she's actually not in your personal life.
She's your client.
Therefore, that's where it's like,
conflict of interest.
- [Psychologist] Well, I guess that's where I messed up.
(sirens wailing)
(intense music)
(door slams)
- Hello?
Just makes so much sense for us to be together.
We laugh at the same things.
We like the same things.
We dress similar.
We love the same music.
We grew up in similar families.
We both hate stupid people.
I don't get it,
I'm literally alive to be his partner in life,
It's obvious to me.
I will show him.
Hey, you,
I'm calling to see if you're around later.
I will be in the area,
and I just thought it would be really convenient for us,
if we can meet really quick,
and just talk about a couple of things,
and just wrap all of this up.
I know we still love each other and care about each other.
Let's just put an end to all of this,
you can give me my things.
We can finally get closure, say goodbye, and move on.
We can both move on.
I know you're having just as much trouble as me,
I will talk to you soon.
Okay, bye.
Hey,
I just really miss you.
(pen scratching)
(hand smacks)
(Victoria sighs)
(Victoria blows air)
(blaring intense guitar music)
Hey, it's me.
I'm outside your house,
and if you're home, you should just come outside.
I can do things, you know?
I just wanna like,
I just wanna feel you, and see you, and touch you.
I'm just outside, just walk like a couple feet,
and I'm right here.
I miss you.
I know you're still in love with me.
We're gonna be together forever.
If you look out your window right now, I'm like right here,
I'm waving at you.
I just had a horrible thought, I hope you're alone.
I look really nice.
I put on a sexy dress, I put on my lipstick.
I'm not wearing a bra.
(chuckles) Come out and see me.
I'm your special someone,
and you're mine, you're mine forever.
(chuckles) You'll see.
I'm in a really fun mood, majorly fun.
You know, I'm open (chuckles).
Oh, babe, baby, baby, baby, I miss you.
I miss you so much.
I miss the sound of your voice.
All I get are your voicemail sounds.
That's a robot, that's not you.
I just wanna be with you,
like intertwined.
In each other, together.
I just want, I don't wanna be alone anymore.
Being alone is the worst.
I'm constantly lost, and fading into my oblivion.
Heh, oops.
Hey, why are you hiding?
You want me to find you?
I did, I'm outside, I found you.
Your turn, come find me, come find me, please.
I don't really wanna do this anymore.
(ominous orchestral music)