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[upbeat music playing]
[indistinct chatter]
[crowd applauds]
-I fell asleep in my room, man. -[man chuckles]
[man] Glad you’re still with us.
And somebody called me at, like, fuckin' 9:00, and I’m like, "Aw, fuck."
When they called me, I didn’t have any idea where I was.
I was like, "Where am I?"
It was bonkers. [chuckles]
And then of course that fucking asshole, uh, misplaced--
Misplaced my books. Well, must be the asshole.
And now I don’t even know the words.
So… we’re gonna see how this goes, man.
[feedback screeches]
[electric violin music playing]
[music continues]
[inaudible]
[music concludes]
[upbeat music playing]
-[drum playing] -[crowd shouting]
[drum music concludes]
["The Sleep of the Damned" playing]
♪ Bonnie’s in the front showing me We're not going home ♪
♪ Bonnie’s in the front showing me The barrel of her gun ♪
Here’s what happened.
So, it was a cut-- It was a Elvis Presley song.
The second half of a verse and the first half of a chorus.
And the way the song is is that there was a fuckin’…
Uh, not a chord change, a fucking--
-A key change. -It was a key change.
There's a key change right in the middle of a verse and a chorus
and if I’m only singing a verse and a chorus,
why the fuck am I gonna put a key change in there?
-[man] Jingle wizardry, mate. -It sounds awful. Well, yes.
So, what I did is I said, "Well, fuck that."
I moved it to where it needed to be.
It sounded better. It was like, "This would be great."
Turned it in, some time passed, everybody was happy
and then they were like,
"Oh, by the way, you didn’t do the change."
So, we got somebody else to do it. And I’m like…
"It sounds like shit!"
But it ended up that commercial actually got canceled anyway,
and nobody made any money, so it didn't even matter.
Maybe I helped fucking destroy the whole thing, you know?
It was a really bad commercial. It was, like, about this guy who, like--
This boyfriend who, like, couldn’t get along in life at all,
like, without his girlfriend fuckin' sortin’ him out, you know.
-[man chuckling] -So then she, like, orders
an Uber Eats because he’s, like, playing video games,
and doesn't know where the fuckin' rice is, you know?
It’s just, like, what--
Like, the way they’re just portraying men, it’s just, like…
I mean, that has been going on for a long time.
I mean, you think about, like, The Simpsons,
-you think about, like, Home Improvement… -[man] Yeah.
…you think of, like, all this stuff, like, the man is the fuckin' idiot.
And I will firmly believe that that is true.
-[man] Yeah! [chuckling] -You know, that the wom-- Women…
Women are much stronger, they’re much more resilient,
they’re much more everything than men are.
And I think that’s why you have this thing, you know,
the patriarchy, why you have men trying to be above women
is because we’re so fucking afraid of the potential. And so, we're just--
You know, we try to, like, "Hey, just stay where you are,
-because you’re, like, fuckin'--" -[man] Yeah, suffocate the threat.
[Micah] Like, I’m like a little lizard and you’re like a goddamn dragon.
["The Sleep of the Damned" continues]
My mansion that I live in. Real Housewives of New Mexico. Oh, yeah.
[song concludes]
We’re in downtown Albuquerque.
Uh, we got the 505,
-Burque. -[man] Burqu-- [chuckles]
[chuckles] City of Dukes.
That one I don’t use very often. I just like the 505.
But that’s also Santa Fe too, I realized.
Well, fuck Santa Fe.
My dad traveled a lot, which is super cool.
I admire that now, but we were usually traveling a lot.
He went to different reservations and we’d do art workshops on them.
[sniffs] Um, but he was, like, moving a lot,
he always had different houses, he didn’t always have, you know,
the best food at his house.
We often ate off a George Foreman grill. Um, and I was just spoiled.
Like, my mom made us nice meals and then, I don’t know,
I was a creature of comfort and I just wanted to, like, stay home all the time.
I was studying Native American studies at UNM, and I liked that a lot,
but I started to do art again and I was like, "Wait, art is tight."
"I should do that." And then I really just turned into my dad.
Smoke, paint in the garage, drink lots of coffee.
I have turned into Sam English. Don’t tell him though.
But it is, it’s funny. I was always really scared of his lifestyle,
because it was very… It was just really chaotic.
Which it still is. Like, he lives in a hotel room,
and I'm like, "Am I gonna end up in a hotel room?"
Maybe.
But also, it feels, like, really fulfilling to do what I do even if, like,
I dunno, I have no guarantee if I’ll be able to do it forever,
but right now, it’s fine.
[laughs]
And then I started painting nude women.
Tight, tight, tight.
-Yeah, I’d do four or five in my gallery. -[laughs]
-Then I’d have to take care of ‘em. -Hey, you could draw nude women too.
-[Haley] True! True! -And dudes with their dicks out.
-I’ve seen it! [chuckles] -[laughs]
-Damn it! -[laughter]
My favorite was that Indian market.
We did the radio interview,
and made it almost the entire interview until it got to the end and he was like,
"Yeah, so if any--" Like, what did you say?
"Any sexy ladies out there, give me a call."
-I was like, "We made it to the end!" -[laughs]
-"Why’d you have to do that?" -Damn it! [chuckles]
The woman was like, "Yes, uh, thank you, next person."
Oh, my God. Your dad has--
-He has urges, okay? It’s natural. -[chuckles]
-No, it’s artist stuff.
Shit, Indian artists are so goddamn afraid to say anything.
-[Bobby chuckles] -Jesus, open up and brag, man.
-I mean, what the hell? -[Bobby chuckling]
-Paint a nude! -Paint a nude!
[Bobby] Yeah! Paint a nude and don’t put a horse in there.
-Don’t put a horse’s ass in there. -Or maybe sneak a horse in there.
-[Bobby] Yeah, sneak a little horse. -Just a little one.
[all chuckle]
Yeah, it’s, uh…
Being an artist is cool. I don’t care what you do.
-[Bobby] Yeah. -An actor, a musician, paint, sculpt.
You know, just go do what you gotta do and be proud of it.
Don’t ever be ashamed of anything.
[feedback buzzes]
[feedback screeches]
-[tour guide] Um, in the 1580s… -[Cannupa] Yeah.
…the very first expeditions to Roanoke, the failed colony, the lost colony…
-[woman] Yeah. -…sailed from Plymouth.
[mouthing]
Um, and, uh, then we have the Sea Venture.
The Sea Venture was part of the third supply to Jamestown
and that was leaving from Plymouth
and she got separated from the rest of the fleet.
Um, and eventually,
she had to drive herself on the rocks of Discovery Bay in Bermuda.
-[Cannupa] Mm. -And George Summers,
who was, sort of, the senior person on board,
stuck a flag in Summer’s Island, or Bermuda,
-to claim it for the crown basically. -[Cannupa chuckles]
Um, and remarkably on Bermuda, I think, they built a couple of vessels,
and then they sailed to join the rest of the colonists in Jamestown, you know.
So, it was quite a remarkable event really as well. So…
Okay, so the west pier here dates from the late 18th century,
um, so obviously, all the steps and things that you see alongside here
-are of that period or later. -Uh-huh.
So, our Mayflower steps are-- Are commemorative, rather than actual.
The popular story now is
that the Mayflower steps or the steps of the Mayflower period
are in the loos of the Admiral McBride pub here.
[chuckles]
So, if you want to go and film them,
the landlady will be very pleased to accommodate you.
Excellent, excellent.
All I know is that the original steps are underneath the building,
-directly underneath the women’s toilets. -Uh-huh.
-Okay. -That’s all I know.
But everyone says it’s over there just to keep it easy.
Right, right. I was told by, you know, somebody from here,
-you know, that this is the spot… -Yeah, yeah.
…so I was kind of interested in, um, actually…
-going to the bathroom. -Yeah, go right ahead.
-[chuckles] Awesome. -[bartender] Not much to see in there but…
-Oh, there will be. -[bartender chuckling]
[farts, chuckles]
Suddenly, I’m embarrassed.
I was asked to be, you know, the Native American representative of, um…
all of America in the context of the…
Mayflower 400th year anniversary
of the voyage to the New World. You know?
Um, apparently…
they couldn’t find any Wampanoag, you know,
to do the engagement.
I-- In all honesty, upon hearing about that opportunity I was like…
[sighs] …something’s gotta be done, you know?
Like, it made me really nervous, you know, so I was like, "Yeah, we should do that."
I’m here right now on a round of funding for basically R&D on the project
to get to know some of the people in the community.
Get to learn the protocols of the space.
Uh, so that when I come and get weird with eight other artists,
you know, at least I know some of the…
um, dynamics of the area.
Yeah, and so these guys, we meet every Wednesday,
um, and look at different topics.
A couple of years ago, you made a piece about Palestine,
um, and now you guys are looking at colonization
as a response to their experience of being in South Africa.
-[Cannupa] Uh-huh. -Yes.
When we were there,
we realized that quite a lot of the people in South Africa,
and obviously people from Palestine were there, quite a lot--
A few of their issues were caused by the British
and colonization and colonialism and stuff.
And there especially, I felt quite a lot to blame for a few of the issues,
because being the only two British people there, you’ll be like… [inhales deeply]
…and they’re talking about how much they hate the Brit--
Like, the royal family and you’ll be like…
[grunts] …and you feel like you’re to blame, but you’re not to blame,
and it’s just a really difficult situation to be in…
-Yeah. -…and then coming back from that,
I feel like I need to make something in response.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
-Because I couldn’t just, like, leave it. -Yeah.
Yeah, how do you feel about that in the context of, um…
Well, I dunno, uh, when you benefit from certain--
Certain of these things then, you know, whether you like it or not, you carry--
It’s your responsibility.
-[woman] Mm. -You know, whether you like it or not,
-you grew up in a space that, you know… -[woman] Yes.
-…has that. -Yeah, I feel like, because--
What’s that turbulence for you?
I feel like because the British were the people that caused it,
I feel like they need to be the people that somewhat need to change it.
-[Cannupa] Uh-huh. -'Cause we can’t just sit back,
and say, "Sorry, it was my ancestors, like, it's not me."
-[Cannupa] Yeah. -That kind of thing.
I think 'cause we’re young…
“white” individuals, I feel like it’s--
It would be quite powerful coming from us to do it.
[Cannupa] Yeah.
Particularly folks in your age, you’re, like…
You’re growing up in the turbulence of this space
in which all of those, um…
All of those practices that provided privilege
has also made an entire-- Like, every generation after,
weaker and weaker in its ability to respond because of that privilege.
Right, like, it’s difficult, you know?
I think about this because I also benefit from that privilege, you know?
For me, I’m always trying to figure out how I can recognize
the power that has provided for me, you know?
My existence today is, um…
It's-- It's a miracle.
Like, if you would’ve talked to my ancestors and said
that I would be sitting in Plymouth, talking to a bunch of young folks,
you know what I’m saying, about theater of colonialism…
they wouldn’t have even imagined that as an opportunity.
You know what I’m saying?
And yet, all of the horror of that also provided this, you know?
[engine whirring]
[melancholic music playing]
♪ I don’t really believe in God ♪
♪ I don’t really feel your love ♪
♪ I just feel like holding on… ♪
I actually just had a conversation on the fucking airport…
vortex on the way over here…
with a white carver that I met literally--
[man] A real one?
[Nicholas] Yeah, and I was sitting there and, you know, they're a friendly couple.
We start talking and he’s telling me, he’s like…
He’s talking about appropriation,
and, you know, he’s an older white man, it’s like, real kind…
means well, pure heart.
And… [chuckles] But yeah.
He starts talking and he’s like, "I don’t understand, man."
"Art is for everybody, all the time."
And I was like, "Sure."
Start breaking down some of these conversations
around appropriation that you can’t ignore.
Which become historical conversations, or political conversations, or…
[man] Like what? What do you mean?
[Nicholas] The stories of how our ceremonies were illegal or how, uh…
The language was taken from our tongues during that era.
So those real oppressive experiences that are in our community’s history,
not very far back.
You have to have those conversations when talking about…
appropriation, talking about access to culture,
access to our objects and our knowledge.
Talking about how…
our elders' words are homogenized through anthropology and…
um, texts, which is a form of… mining
or feeding upon our culture
and then legitimizing it through institution,
not legitimizing those elders that they took the knowledge from
as holding knowledge themselves in that same space.
That conversation comes up when we talk about fisheries and science
in our communities and how our elders’ knowledge
of what the fisheries had been like historically
is dismissed by scientists today.
Saying our science goes back 30 years of documenting and that’s real numbers.
That shit right there is an extreme opposite
of when we value your knowledge, we’ll take it and homogenize it.
When we don’t value it, we’ll ignore it, because it’s not science now.
["There's a Small Hotel" playing]
♪ There’s a small hotel ♪
♪ With a wishing well ♪
♪ I wish that we were there ♪
♪ Together ♪
♪ There’s a bridal suite ♪
♪ One room, nice and neat ♪
♪ Complete for us to share ♪
♪ Together ♪
I can’t play the rest of that composition. [chuckles] That arrangement. [chuckles]
♪ It goes into a different place ♪
[chuckles]
♪ It’s really nice When other people play it ♪
[plays random notes]
[chuckling]
One of my teachers was actually--
I was on the gig and I, like, I was just telling jokes,
and shooting the shit with the audience, which is what I usually do,
and they’re like, "Julia, you need to, like, you know, you’re a jazz singer,
you have to be a little more serious." I was like, "Fuck you."
"I don’t wanna do that. That’s not who I am." [chuckles]
And I tried, but it was just so, like, fabricated.
It was like… [in sultry voice] …"Hi welcome to the jazz show."
-[man chuckling] -"I’m the jazz singer."
"You’re listening to Jazz 89.5." [chuckles]
[in normal voice] It was like, "No, thanks, I can’t."
["Ain't Misbehavin'" playing]
♪ No one to talk with or by my side ♪
♪ No one to walk with But I'm happy on the shelf ♪
♪ Ain't misbehavin' I'm savin' all my love for you… ♪
One of my earliest memories was listening to Billie Holiday,
um, which is a weird thing for, like, a wee child to listen to,
because Billie is, like, super dark, but as a wee child, I loved that.
I remember, like, living on the reservation
and having this one tune, sort of…
constantly stuck in my brain.
And later I found out it was a song called "No More".
Um, which is this really haunting, beautiful ballad.
I’m, uh… I'm probably the most boring jazz singer,
because I don’t drink anymore.
It became a problem, yeah. Yeah, went and got sober.
-[man] Really? It was a thing? -Yeah, yeah, I had to, like…
And I was 22 at the time, um…
It was great, like, looking back at my time,
uh, in that center-- In that hospital, um, It was almost like a spiritual retreat.
Because then I finally got to be like, "Oh, no, like, I’m actually funny."
And actually, the first time I performed my original music on guitar
was at this alcohol treatment hospital, um…
So that-- that’s another, sort of, like, warm and fuzzy moment from treatment.
I would like to-- to be feeling good creating, whatever that is.
And no matter what, it’ll be music, it’ll be films, it’ll be theater.
Um, in my head now, finally, I don’t see the divide in that anymore.
Um, but as long as I’m just performing.
[jazz music concludes]
[guitar music playing]
♪ I can’t win, I can’t win ♪
♪ I just crumble up into whatever I was ♪
♪ I can’t win, I can’t win ♪
♪ Doesn’t matter if I’m drinking I’m just a drunk ♪
♪ Let’s pretend, let’s pretend ♪
♪ I just wanna believe This is bigger than us ♪
♪ Doesn’t make any sense I’m making it up… ♪
I was seriously-- I had this crazy online stalker
and I had all this crazy anxiety happening,
and that’s when I wrote that poem on my wall
and I would just, like, read it every night.
'Cause it can be really creepy
-in here living alone. -[man] Yeah.
The poem is a poem where she’s talking to fear
and she kind of is like…
I mean, it’s really literal in a lot of ways,
and then she’s also kind of, like--
The previous stanzas are, kind of, like, recalling the fear,
that is, like, ancestral and is, like, in your DNA.
And, like, um…
And I think that part of the poem is the one that I try to memorize,
but it never happens. So, like…
I’m not afraid to be angry
I’m not afraid to rejoice I’m not afraid to be Black
I’m not afraid to be white
I’m not afraid to be hungry I’m not afraid to be full
I’m not afraid to be hated
I’m not afraid to be loved To be loved, to be loved
Fear, I take myself back
Fear
Oh, and the first part is, like…
I release you, my beautiful And terrible fear, I release you
I love that.
-[man] By who? -Joy Harjo.
[guitar music playing]
[vocalizes]
Like when we were talking about the idea of, like, being in this city,
not in a community and you find that community in bars.
And I think it’s, like, if it’s in your blood,
it’s in your blood, and it's, like, what if that’s even,
like, the Native prone to alcoholism is, like, we’re prone to the bars.
[chuckles] You know? Like, just a group, and being in a group that--
Where everyone’s mind is for one another and,
um, everyone’s, like, sharing in that way.
I think that I have always had that tendency and for better and worse.
And have found my own, like…
Made my own communities in spaces I’ve lived in.
I’ve always lived in group housing, at least until now really.
Um, but, yeah, it kinda makes…
I don't know, without being, like, "woe is me", I did not have it hard,
but, like, you know, I do feel a void in that sense and, like,
I’m not sure even what would fill it, minus just learning more about something
that just feels really common sense and natural to me,
which is, like, Native culture and medicine,
my personal religion, makes a lot more sense when I…
The more I become exposed to that part of my culture.
[indistinct chatter]
-[Micah] Like… -[chair squeaking]
…the story of the Chickasaws is apparently these holes
-opened up in the fucking ground. -[man] Yeah.
[Micah] And these locusts came out, right?
And the locusts landed on these fucking hills
and the locusts fucking shed their wings and stood up and that was man and woman.
And it’s, like, why is that not more interesting
and why is that not more credible than…
we were created from the dust of the Earth and air was blown into us, or whatever.
-[man] Yeah. -You know what I’m saying?
Um, and people who take that, like, so goddamn seriously,
so fucking literally,
that it fucking skews the whole goddam thing that they can’t see that…
Man, these different stories and these different attitudes
and these different-- Like, it’s all the same fucking…
It’s all the same story, but in different ways.
-[man] Yeah. -You know what I’m saying?
What's going on, man?
What’s up, man?
-[man] Can we go through the set? -When are we supposed to start?
[man] Forty minutes.
-What time? -9:30.
[Micah groans]
[man] What’s up? How baked are you, man?
-[Micah] What? -[chuckles] Are you okay?
-I’m perfectly fine, man. -Cool.
Mind if I try that little thing again?
It doesn’t hit my brain like you’d expect.
[man] Yeah, but just-- Yeah, pull slow and, like, maybe do two full drags
before you, uh, exhale.
Do another one and it’ll probably…
Anyway, I put a little… sign
by the ones I feel we ought to play tonight.
Especially that one.
-I’ve been through all our setlists… -[Micah clears throat]
…since 2005, and it’s like a greatest--
It's like Simon & Garfunkel’s greatest--
I don’t know-- I don’t how to play that song.
Really? Well, we got 40 minutes, man.
-I don't know-- -It’s in, uh… It's in G.
I cannot remember the words.
Tell me that shit.
-[man] Slower and lighter. -Yeah.
Yeah, I think a light touch for some of these,
so it's got, like, the heavy quiet thing, you know?
[indistinct chatter]
Oh, man.
You okay?
This always needs to be in every single shot that they take.
Oh, shit, man,
I’m fuckin' nervous.
But I wasn’t nervous last night--
-You smoked a big bowl again. -No--
-Why’d you do that right before a gig? -I just hit that--
[man] Why not have it after? Just a thought.
It helps with art, man. It helps conjure the spirit, man.
You know? It helps, uh, something, you know, it helps a pressure
inside kind of loosen up to where…
things can move through a little bit more.
-Okay. -You know what I’m saying?
Not being so tense about it.
[man] Let’s move through the next four minutes.
-Yeah. -[man] Yeah.
[chuckles] Let’s move through the next four minutes.
-We’ll be fine man. -[man] Okay.
But you…
You seem to always worry about my consumption.
Well, not worry, but you always ask me about my consumption levels.
I just think gettin’, you know, baked right before a gig…
There’s two sides to that, ain't there?
But it’s the same idea, let’s say you’re going to college
and you're fuckin'--
You smoke grass, and you listen to Bob Marley fuckin'
every time that you’ve studied.
[man] Yeah.
What you should do is when you take that test,
you listen to Bob Marley in your fuckin' earphones
and you make sure you’re stoned and you’ll probably ace that fuckin' test.
If you're sober, you’re gonna fuckin' fail it.
Seventy percent of the time I bet.
[indistinct chatter]
Yup.
[crowd applauds, cheers]
-[Bobby] Right here. -[Haley] Right there.
-[Bobby] Yeah. -[Haley] That one.
Two of those! I’m just kidding. [chuckles]
-[Haley] Blue, blue, blue! -Two of those.
-Yeah. -That was fun. You’re just going for it.
-[chuckles] -[man] See you.
-[Haley] Bye. You too. -[Bobby] All right, bye.
-Oh, why thank you. -[Haley] Oh, yeah. Go ahead. [chuckles]
[Yatika] Growing up in Native art,
I’ve seen where it’s come from as a student of art myself.
I’ve made it a point…
to understand it and learn about it and read about artists and, yeah,
I grew up in it and being around it in the galleries and seeing it.
And seeing the transition from the ‘70s and ‘80s Native art,
specifically made for
majority of, I think, white clients or clients in the South West
looking to fill that niche of South Western art.
Which kind of puts us in a box almost
and I’ve seen that kind of shift over the years
to doing more artists thinking outside the box,
having these conversations,
to personalizing the context
Native American art to contemporary reasonings today.
Dealing with dialogues to the political realness that we live in today.
And the intersections of all these…
All these pasts that we come from. I think, we’re finally discussing this
and so there is more work being made about it,
about our identity, and the differences of it,
whereas back in the day, it really wasn’t discussed a
and I think just because there is more social media involved and stuff
where people are getting to talk to one another quicker,
I think that’s definitely the point of contact right there.
The transition of difference.
So really the sky’s the limit anymore.
I think that anyone that still tries to paint in a way for a market
to fill that Southwestern void this doesn’t do anything for me, you know.
I mean, it exists, for sure,
because people need to make money, I understand that.
Families need to eat.
But then that goes back to your personal preference, you know.
I’m not gonna dog on them because they need to eat,
they wanna fill that--
They got the talent to do it, then go for it.
But there’s different reasonings for why you wanna make art.
Do you wanna make art to just survive and eat and be comfortable
or do you want to make art to really shake things up
and be progressive?
You know?
What’s your legacy on it? We don’t live long.
You don’t know when you’re gonna die, you know?
I mean, so… what kind of story do you want to tell?
And that just kind of depends on how you were raised
and how important it is to you, you know. The Native identity.
But… that doesn’t mean
you have to paint Native things or make Native artwork or have, you know…
It’s instilled in you.
["Soft Stud" playing]
♪ Surprises in the night ♪
♪ Won’t you have your way ♪
♪ Open up the door I see I know you're taken ♪
♪ What is it to you? ♪
♪ Habits just don't fade ♪
♪ Open, overcrowded love I know you're taken ♪
♪ I know you're taken ♪
♪ Need you want you ♪
[crowd applauding, cheering]
Wow, it’s really good to be here and, uh…
And see everybody and be here in Tulsa and to get to hear Tommy Orange.
That’s really great.
He also went to the Institute of Indian American Arts.
I went there years and years ago and, uh, when--
There weren't very many Native writers out there.
At all.
We could see Scott Momaday.
I remember he won a Pulitzer for House Made of Dawn.
And there were Leslie Silko, and other people popped up.
And I know when I started writing and you look around
and now it’s amazing to see what’s going on.
It’s very exciting. We’re living in an exciting time.
["Soft Stud" continues]
[inaudible]
[song concludes]
[Tommy] I knew that I wanted a prologue just from a craft point of view,
because I like that prologues can break all the rules
before the story starts,
before the structure of the story begins
and you’re trying to, like, get somebody involved with the story.
In trying to define urban Indian, you have to go back to relocation,
which is a part of termination policy, which is a part of genocidal policy,
which is a part of genocide.
And, you know, growing up hearing massacre story, um, repeatedly,
uh, it just ended up reaching a little bit further back.
There was, like, a militia in Colorado and, uh…
it was mostly women, children, elders.
The men were either away to hunt or off doing something else.
We had an American flag and a white flag flown above us,
like they told us,
because it was something that was supposed to be protected
and when they came at us early in the morning, like,
after the sun came up, they came with Howitzers,
this is how my dad tells it.
Like, they mowed us down with their Howitzers.
And, you know, they just brutally killed,
like, over 200 of our people, and mostly, uh…
women and children, um, and elders.
And so, you know, this is something that… That…
lives in the blood of
and the memory of people of generations afterward.
That it’s, you know, something…
that lives on in the way we talk about our lives
and our relationship to this country.
[Haley] You guys saw my dad, he’s a dope dude.
He’s also a recovering alcoholic and I think with that comes
a lot of emotional stuff.
And so, he's always like--
He’s, like, a really intense human, but a really wonderful human.
But because of that, yeah.
He moved constantly and was traveling all the time
and wanted to go out all the time.
And I have a better understanding of the lifestyle that he lived
because I think as an artist you have to do that.
You have to make… You have to travel a bunch,
you have to do weird jobs to get other jobs, and…
I feel like you meet people in the community
and that’s how you get a better understanding of, like,
where you are as an artist and what you do.
-You find out what other people do? -[man] Mm-hmm
And so, I do…
heavily associate him with the way that I paint too,
-like, he’s a really graphic painter… -[man] Mm.
…he uses a lot of really crazy colors.
And so, I think a lot of where--
Like that looks like exactly what he would do.
When I made it, it kinda felt really weird,
because I was trying to do it, but at the same time I wasn’t
and it just felt natural.
-[man] Mm. -I was like, "That’s cool."
It’s just like a little bit of my dad inside me.
[crowd applauding, cheering]
[makes screeching sounds]
[makes howling sound]
[makes whistling sound]
[crowd cheering]
[crowd applauds]
[indistinct chatter]
[hair clippers buzzing]
[Laura] I’m starting to see patterns here.
I tried to-- Yeah, leave, like, Navajo cornrows.
[Laura] I'm starting to see a lot of things here.
-[Cannupa] Corn-- Yeah, Navajo cornrows. -[Demian] Navajo cornrows.
-[Cannupa] Real short. -[man] Maze. It's called maze.
-[chuckles] Maze. -[Cannupa chuckling]
I am the director and founder of this initiative known as RISE,
which is Radical Indigenous Survivance and Empowerment
and so, uh, I was invited to…
apply to this session at Recess.
Recess is an artist space in Brooklyn that allows people to…
Allows artists to come in
and kinda like take over space for a certain amount of time
and both visualize and actualize projects.
Um, and so, they just provide a lot of resources,
and a lot of space and I saw it as a really good opportunity
for RISE to kinda come in and, um…
orchestrate all Indigenous programming and curation
in ways in which I don’t think, um…
museums or institutions in New York are doing.
But also, just as a big fuck you to these institutions and being like,
"We’re gonna do this shit whether or not you exist."
Like, even though we’re doing it within, like, the space of Recess, it’s like…
we’re also taking this space over
-and using that budget… -[man] Yeah.
…the money that is allocated to the session program to, like,
-pay Indigenous artists… -[man] Totally.
…and like, get them together.
-Um, is it my turn? -[Cannupa] Yeah.
-[Laura] Step on up. -Yeah, okay.
So, what do you want to do with your haircut?
[Cannupa] Mangy cat.
-I just want it all gone. -Do you want the Cannupa?
-I want the Cannupa. -The mangy cat.
-[Demian chuckling] -The nice cat.
[hair clippers buzzing]
Thinking of, like, collaboration,
or social practice, or conceptual art as, like…
As being fundamentally rooted inside of, like, Indigenous philosophy,
or Indigenous aesthetics.
I think that’s one thing that I try to…
point toward it, through my own work, but also, through the work of R.I.S.E.
But it’s also the work that I think a lot of Indigenous artists
are conscious of as well.
[Cannupa] One thing that we talked about cutting each other’s hair
was, um, kind of like…
reestablishing the agency in that, you know?
It's like a forced-- There’s a-- a forced aspect of getting…
uh, like our parents' generation, boarding school days,
uh, these ideas of, like, cutting off of hair, and, um…
with that, like, an attempt to cut off connection to place,
to land and to people, um…
-What am I doing? -[chuckles]
-[Laura] Shows-- The show must go on.
[Cannupa] Yeah, the show must go on.
[indistinct chatter]
[chuckles]
And so I wonder, like, generations down the line from now
if we will talk about this time as, like, entering into a new world.
Um, and what that looks like.
And I think partially what that looks like is this idea of, like, decolonization.
Um, these ideas of, like, trying to deal with our shit
in order to build future worlds
where they don’t have to necessarily deal with these things.
They can deal with them in a different way.
But in my lifetime, I will never be able
to, like, decolonize, like, a post-settler imagination.
Um, I can’t imagine anything else because of the world that I was born into.
[inaudible]
Makes me think of-- That you're asking about future and makes me think
of the technologies that even I don't hear.
-[boots rattling] -What is…
To me, you make time portals, you know.
That actually, as I experienced them, move me through time, you know?
You seed… like… future…
Like actual-- With seed, but with A.I. and you seed future, you know?
[chuckles] And your protective garments
that are-- are both protective, but are so…
current now in terms
of, um, rejoicing, that's what I think of in your garments, rejoicing.
And, um, Demian, your words and your images that, like, push through,
as you were saying, like, push through anger into often these
very particular ways.
It's like finding those seep holes
where you can, like, move their anger into future, you know?
And those-- And really-- And I--- Though these-- Your technology as…
as necessary technologies and real technologies, you know,
we often talk about…
Especially in some of the institutions that you're working,
you know, you talk about art as a-- As not real.
It's real technologies that actually do this work.
[Cannupa] When you look around and you see the Native faces in this space,
see the grandmothers who hid out with granddaughters, you know?
See…
See the bodies frozen in the snow, you know?
Um… see the languages that were held
and protected and not shared until they were ready to be shared.
Um, and the ceremonies, you know?
I was born in 1979 and my…
We couldn’t practice our ceremonies until the year before I was born,
which is something that I grew up with.
I'm always-- I’m always, like, really inspired,
I'm a total optimist, but, like, wow. You know?
Um… what does it look like to, you know…
be able to hide and hold these things in secret,
even from your own people,
to wait for a generation later to be able to have that conversation and share.
Um, what beautiful artwork…
holds those stories, you know?
What beautiful practice, movement, song, uh…
resonates inside of us, whether we know the words or not.
And not just in us.
Um, how long has it been
since you’ve been taught the words to those songs,
you know, that are ringing inside?
I feel like we have, through all of this endurance,
been able to, like, maintain those conversations,
um, protect those conversations and,
you know, now we have the opportunity to share them again, you know?
It’s gazing forward into a world
that I will die trying to create, you know?
I don’t get to dance those dances or sing those songs,
but I love being able to hide something, hold something, and share something for…
For… [chuckles]
…the belief in this future space, you know?
Um, because we survived this, you know?
And that’s what I keep remembering, you know? That’s why I’m an optimist.
It’s not because, you know, I’m sitting full of hope for the future.
I’m an optimist because we survive horrible…
[chuckles] …horrible shit, you know? Um…
And I think we have the capacity because we can convert fury into love,
because that’s what we do.
You know, because the milk
that’s drawn from converting fury into love
is something that got us through lean times.
[woman] Let’s get weird! Yes!
I’d like to backtrack my platform thought and do Haley's.
[laughing]
Well, you know, don’t be a dick and be weird. They go hand in hand.
Speaking of which, that was really disrespectful of me
-to bring it back. I apologize. -[woman] Yeah.
-So, my aplogi-- -Yeah, way to patriarch that shit.
-[Haley] Don’t be a dick. -You know what?
-[women chuckling] -I’m in the minority here!
Now I understand what women feel like.
Oh, now you feel that reverse, like, sexism?
-That’s what it is! Sexism. Yeah. -[chuckles]
-[women laughing] -Yeah, I know, I'm sorry.
I feel sorry for you right now. [chuckles]
Thank you, thank you. That’s all I’m asking,
is for all the women in this room to feel bad for me.
[laughing]
-Not right now. -[laughing]
-We don't have time for that. -[laughing]
[Nani] One thing I do kind of think about
more so is our connectivity with one another.
Um, and how we’re nourishing that connectivity.
-Because I do think that… -[inaudible]
…that’s maybe being something that’s being lost.
And I don’t know, maybe I’m just, like, speculating that,
because I don’t really, um…
You know, I see the way that we navigate communication, for instance,
in a way that we connect with one another.
And I think probably, like, you know, more than 50% of it
is through devices and through electronic media
and how we do that.
And I also see kind of like a disconnection
happening more and more with…
when we are in public situations to be with people.
And I think the things that have propelled me to say the things,
to have convictions in the things that I like or that I believe in,
not that I like, that I believe in.
Things that I feel very strongly about
are because I’ve had a personal moment of connection and realization with them.
With that person, with that thing, with that movement, with whatever it is.
And so, I really want people to examine their modes of connectivity
and be genuine in that interaction.
Because I think that that essentially
will make all of our motives, all of our passions, all of our, um…
I don’t know, all of our interactions a lot more meaningful. So…
[feedback whirring]
[feedback screeching]
[crowd applauding, cheering]
[Bobby] Actually, there’s lots of Iktomi dick stories,
but the one that always resonated with me was the one that, like…
The one where he gets it chopped.
Just 'cause it, like, had so much else fucking going with it.
And a lot of Iktomi stories are actually really hella perverted.
We look at them a lot now, 'cause, like, there’s this guy called Paul Goble,
who started writing, uh, children’s books about Iktomi,
and so they were really Disney-fied.
-[Cannupa] Really? That’s super weird. -[Bobby] You ever see Paul Goble?
No, but I’ve heard plenty of Iktomi stories…
-Yeah. -…and they’re, like, for the most part,
I always recognized them as, like, sexual deviance stories, right?
-Yeah, that’s absolutely true. -[Cannupa] Where it's like what not to do?
Yeah, like, he writes these books, he’s a white guy,
and he does, like, these ledger-art-style kids’ books
that are, like, Iktomi and the Two Eagles.
But, like, in any normal Iktomi story, he would’ve, like, fucked the eagles
and then ate them and like shit them out
and they would’ve turned into some fucking tool or something like that.
-They’re crazy! -[laughing]
And so this Iktomi story that we’re fucking--
That I'm trying to pull off here, uh,
you know, way back in long time ago days, Iktomi,
who had already been known for all sorts of different fuckeries,
you know, he’s always startin' some shit with people,
because that’s what he does with his whole life.
Uh, he comes to, like, a really nice lake
and on the other side of that lake, there was a beautiful young woman
bathing buck-ass naked, you know.
[groans]
-[Haley] Hell yeah! -[guard] What is that thing?
-It's a-- [laughs] -[laughing]
…like a Native American man’s penis?
Yeah, there’s an old story from my tribe
-about this trickster, shapeshifter guy… -Uh-huh.
…and he was walking through the woods one day
and he came to a lake and there was this really beautiful
-naked woman bathing… -Uh-huh.
…and her grandma was watching over her on the lake shore, she had a knife.
And this guy, his name's Iktomi, he knew he couldn’t, like, come up to her,
so what he did is he transformed his dick into a water snake
and he stood on the shore and let his dick, like,
move up through the water
-all the way up to that girl. -Uh-huh.
[Bobby] And the grandma saw it, she jumped in the water,
grabbed this water snake, and she chopped it off.
-And then she shook this dick at the dude. -Uh-huh.
On the other side of the shore. Yeah, and she yelled at him.
She was like, “Get outta here, Iktomi!”
-[guard] That’s pretty wild though. -[Bobby] Yeah!
-Anyway, it’s an anti-rape story… -[guard] Okay. That's it.
[Bobby] …in reality.
No, that’s cool though, man.
Someone’s gonna trip and see that later.
[all chuckle]
-[Haley] Yeah. -[guard] You guys have a good one, okay?
-[Bobby] Yeah, take care, man! -[Haley] Bye!
[Bobby clears throat]
-Changing Native American storytelling… -[chuckling]
…one dick at a time.
-[Haley] One security guard at a time. -[Bobby] One security guard at a time.
[chuckling]
[Haley's mom] I thought Haley was gonna be an artist when she was little.
She used to follow Sam around and…
And she’d go into his studio
and she had her own little easel, and they’d paint together.
So, when she was…
[sighs] …I don’t know, maybe two.
Starting at the age of two, um…
she was in the house and she ran out to Sam’s studio
and a friend of his was out there. Um…
And he was a…
He was visiting with Sam
and Haley went out there and she came running…
[chuckles] …to the house yelling,
“An Indian, an Indian, there's an Indian in our house!” [chuckles]
-You’re like, "That's… Problem?" -I told Clinton, "I’m so sorry."
"I don’t know what’s going on here."
[Haley] I don’t know. My nephew does stuff like that too and I love it.
'Cause it’s like him trying to figure it out.
Like, he knows who he is, but people put words in front of him
and then he gets confused by them, I think.
Like when he wore his traditional outfit to his graduation, it was all chill.
Like he was super into it,
he loves doing that, he goes to Shiprock all the time.
And we were sitting and talking about Halloween
and I was like… [clears throat]
"What do you want to be for Halloween next year?"
And he was like, "I think I wanna be a Navajo man."
And I was like, "You are a Navajo man."
And we, like, sat and talked about it, because it's-- I don’t know.
I mean, kids are a great example of being confused about identity,
but I feel like we all kind of still have that too.
Where you’re, like, trying to figure out language changing,
and then also, like, other people’s ideas of, like,
who you are and how you should look.
Versus, like, how you see yourself
just, like, in a normal setting with your family.
Like, all of that is all over the place,
-and what are you supposed to do with it? -[man] Yeah.
What is this thing that I see on TV? That’s not me or my life at all.
But then to have my life
and then people to not really understand that either and be like,
"Well, yeah. You’re not enough of this," or, "You’re not enough of that."
[indistinct chatter]
I wonder what she’s thinking.
Something.
-["Little Boys Dream" playing] -Feel good about it?
♪ He's on a plane crossing the world now ♪
♪ Not thinking of the thing That had headed him south ♪
♪ And all the way it seemed ♪
♪ Could help that little girl’s dream ♪
♪ Find a home, find a soul ♪
♪ And a way ♪
♪ She’s on a train crossing the world ♪
♪ Not thinking of the things… ♪
Why do people ask the same fucking questions?
Like wh…
"When did you start writing music and why?"
Who fucking cares?
-Who fucking cares? -[man] Yeah.
Okay, what’s the next one?
[man] Wait, let’s answer it. Let’s do their interview on camera.
-[man 2] Yeah. -[man] Yeah. [chuckling]
Let’s answer their interview on camera.
And I’m really supposed to, like, answer properly?
[man] No, you don’t have to answer properly at all.
Let’s give your answer that you wish you could give.
[Micah] Okay, okay.
"What major challenges and problems did you face during your career?"
Which one, man?
So, the Gospel of Progress…
tied in with that is drug addiction, homelessness,
fucked up women, psychiatric hospitals,
destitution, bankruptcy…
Did I say drug addiction?
Jail time, multiple jail time.
So that’s a problem.
For The Nothing, I lost the use of my arms,
and for this record I kicked dope. So, there we go.
"I read somewhere that this album was written in one week,
and recorded in one day somewhere." Nope.
-"Was it planned or did it just happen?" -[phone beeps]
What the fu…
[guitar music playing]
I just noticed a lot through what little news I watch or whatever
that suicide around males, like, my age and stuff was, like, a… [sniffs]
…you know, a really big fucking problem, and so…
you know, dealing with the drugs
and dealing with the stuff I was dealing with.
I mean, those were thoughts that I had myself, easily.
You know, my wife-- I have a six-shooter and my wife had to take apart the gun.
So, you have the handle, you have the barrel,
and you have the revolver part.
And she hid it in all different places. Just so I wouldn't--
If I found one, I couldn’t find the other piece.
It would be impossible to find all three pieces.
♪ Misery, make my bed ♪
♪ There I go ♪
♪ Throwing stones again ♪
♪ There’ll be no more mystery About the scars that I wear… ♪
So it got really serious around the house, man, um… [sniffs]
And so then with recording the record, that was just a really important thing.
I mean, of course the idea of apocalypse, and suicide, and stuff like that.
And so, on one of the songs it says, like, something like,
"How mighty of us to choose." In reference to suicide. Like…
"How mighty of us to choose."
Like that’s something good that we’ve done.
It’s good that we’ve decided to fucking kill ourselves.
And, you know, of course, that’s…
That's sarcasm.
But my wife being a therapist, she listened to it
and, uh… And it really bothered her.
And she said, "Look, I don’t think the song should be on the album,
unless you have, like, a disclaimer or something." You know?
That stuff’s really important and I can understand why…
everybody is so…
Why people my age are so fucking alone.
Like if I didn’t have a wife,
if I didn’t have kids, if I didn’t have the music,
if I didn’t have the things that I had, like…
I could see myself doing myself in.
I mean, we do whatever we can
to make these people’s lives, like, worthwhile, you know what I'm saying?
Or feel like they're worthwhile. Because…
Because they are.
♪ There’s one for me ♪
♪ Yes, there’s two for you ♪
♪ There’ll be no more sorrow ♪
♪ How mighty of us to choose ♪
-Jesus Christ. -[crowd applauding, cheering]
[Emily] In all these-- In all the works that I do, I mean, they sound--
I mean they are.
They’re beautiful gatherings, gathering people together.
And that’s partly where that trust and love comes in
and I think they’re firmly rooted in love and that’s…
That's based on what I know.
I mean, I love salmon because it’s part of my family,
it’s part of my lineage, it’s part of my history,
and I can know how to do it because my grandma, my dad,
my aunties, my uncles taught me and, you know,
you learn and I teach my nephews. That’s why I love it.
And the works that I make are about building love and being love,
but that doesn’t mean that they’re nice, you know? [chuckles]
Like, sometimes, they’re really, um… tough.
And sometimes… I don’t mean tough, I just mean, like…
You know, sometimes I’m throwing my arms on the ground
because I have to share
how much pain I feel through my body sometimes
when I’m telling this story about rape, you know?
Something like-- So what does that…
But then how to share that…
physically, and I guess emotionally, and with words, like, through everything,
still toward love, but still move through that anger,
or sometimes violence, or sometimes, like, pushing that little bit.
A beautiful thing or a beautiful effect of my work is that I get to build
-really strong relationships with people… -[man] Mm.
[Emily] …and with places.
Often that brings me back again and again.
Sometimes I'm falling in love with those places
and, to me, that’s building family…
-[man] Yeah. -[Emily] …you know? So, it's more to--
In my personal life, actually, it’s more than building communities…
-[man] Mm. -[Emily] …it’s actually building family.
I guess, I think of how we need one another.
To be in a strong relationship, and to make a better world…
-[man] Mm. -[Emily] …make a better future.
So, this next song is called "Her" and it’s a song about…
Well, I wrote it after hearing about people in Standing Rock
and there was this video that was going around
of a 12-year-old girl and her mom walking and protesting.
And then an oil worker comes up to them and says, “How much for the little girl?”
To the mom.
Um…
You know, he was asking how much to pay to have…
To rape a fucking little girl, 12-years old.
Um…
I got so angry, because in New Mexico, we have a lot of sex trafficking.
Um, you know, there’s already, like,
another three-year old missing girl in Shiprock right now.
Um, it sucks and we have our missing
and murdered, um, sisters, and mothers, and aunties,
and our transwomen.
And it’s really hard. Um…
So, fuck that bullshit. Uh…
["Her" playing]
♪ Don't come around here Looking for her! ♪
♪ Don't! ♪
♪ On my knees is what you want! ♪
♪ You hurt the land And you hurt all of us! ♪
♪ Don't! ♪
-♪ Don't! ♪ -[song concludes]
[Cannupa] The piece started off as a collaboration between me
and a photographer named Kali Spitzer,
who is from North West Territories in Canada.
We were kind of going back and forth around ideas,
and I asked Kali to take a photograph that, um, carried the weight of…
uh, missing and murdered Indigenous women in Canada, uh, where she’s from.
Because there was data gathered in that region,
but then I was interested in…
like, the power of data as-- as a way to change policy, and, um,
actually create safeguards, like, it has to--
You have to dehumanize the human being that the data represents.
Make them a tick in the calculation of gathering that information
and then, um-- And then suddenly…
policy can be created,
so people care enough to make a difference within society
after they’ve been dehumanized for a second time.
It’s often-- More often than not in these sorts of instances the data,
um, repre-- Each tick represents a body, so--
And they went into different communities and-- and got a, like, a…
a close-- a close count to what that population looks like right now.
And it ended up being 4,000. And, um, so I thought about
how could you rehumanize the data, so people could relate to it?
'Cause even myself, like,
thinking of the number 4,000, I only see-- It's only one number.
You know, it’s the number 4,000,
so I started this project of rolling a bead for each one.
I talked with Kali, and we decided I would do
a pixelated image of her photograph, um, in beads,
and count everyone.
It was heavy, kind of, working through those days, and-- but then it also--
There was something cathartic that happened,
like, I felt as though I was actually doing something
towards-- towards a goal, towards a mean, towards visual-- visualization,
and so I figured what I would do was make this a public project.
Um, that there was healing that needed to happen in the act of creation.
Um, and so I made a video on social media, but I just made it as simple as possible.
Just, like, roll clay and think-- think about it.
Do what I did in the process.
As I was rolling I kept saying,
"This is already too many, this is enough, this-- it's gotta stop," you know?
And, um… the response from it, you know, these boxes came in.
You know, most of them came in, like, packages of, like, 16, you know,
uh, beads, and it was just, like, small groups, individuals or small groups
would get together at kitchen tables and roll beads, um…
The thing that was…
really kind of eye-opening
was that almost in every single one of those boxes came, like, a letter.
One of the beads in these box represents my auntie.
You know, one of the beads in this box represents my sister.
And they came out from, you know, the United States and Canada.
They came out from all over the continent really.
Yeah, and then with help from many people,
counted out everything, and figured out what color where?
Each one of those beads represents a body.
The first place we exhibited it…
um, there was an artist who was helping me put this piece up, uh, hang the piece,
and we were so careful with it, we were talking about it afterwards.
And he was struck and it sticks to me to this day,
he was-- He said,
"It’s incredible the amount of care we take with these beads,
that we care for them, and we make sure that they don’t get broken."
-"And we travel it around and we…" -[indistinct voice over PA]
"We put it in special places, um…
and we’re more careful with the representation of those bodies
than we ever were with the bodies they represent."
And that, you know, it weighs one ton
and it’s, like, heavier than that every single time.
[Demian] A rose is your rose, is my rose, Is a rose, is a body risen
From the smell of a newborn body A rose from the body of a continent
Blistering with lava and boils And red-hot soil that arose from my rose
You’re a trail of petals from a rose
That leads Conquistadors Off colossal cliffs
That hypnotizes damned European sailors Into plowing their ships into icebergs
And enchants horny, bloodthirsty Greedy Christians
Away from their places of worship
And puts their hands to good use By helping children to tend the soil
Or clean up abandoned wastelands Or heal the sick
And bless sacred queer bodies
Sacred colonized bodies that rise From the ash of an American flag
In a field of technicolor roses
That are roses and roses and rows of roses That arose from a war-torn land
Is a war-torn body Is a war-torn imaginary
Is a war-torn madness That surrenders to you, my rose
Is a rose, was a rose
Was a smell you leaned into For patience and serenity
And a body free from disease or toxicity
Or the stress of capitalism
And that pesky democracy In sheep’s clothing
Sometimes my hair is black fire Sweeping through an infected landscape
Polluted by the rotting corpses Of white supremacists
I imagine I am one Of my ancestors overlooking saggy
Watching all the cornfields ablaze
And then someone Hits the fast forward button
And I’m suddenly standing On the Washington side
Of the Columbia River Gorge Watching the forest fire light up the sky
In the black womb of night
I stop to blink my eyes and realize
I’m actually sitting On the opposite side of a computer screen
Watching it documented in a GIF image
And the smell of devastation rolls Over me like a musical score
And it is at this moment
I am reminded that my DNA Predates the concept of a bit-map image
This is the way That settler-colonial trauma settles
Into the body of the colonized
We unconsciously relive the genocides
And brutalities inflicted Against our ancestors
The shame, the rape, The beatings, the enslavement
The white bodies With their killing machines
And unholy structures of torture And discipline
The distrust, the disease The disgust, the deceit, the miseducation
And amoral fixations
The flamboyant uniforms Asserting some imaginary power
My ancestors will not Let me forget this
And every American flag Is a warning sign
Even the one my grandfather Was given as a code talker
["Constellations Shine" playing]
♪ Constellations shine ♪
♪ Are we alone? ♪
♪ I set the pace, hey! ♪
♪ Running up this old road, oh… ♪
[inaudible]
-How did we meet? Oh! -We met when your exhibit in Anchorage--
At my exhibit in Anchorage, and we drove around.
I was like, "Oh, I want to meet him and he says--"
We drove around--
It was a beautiful exhibit with the, um, wallpaper and--
And we were freestylin’ in your car.
Yeah, we were cruising around, rapping, both of us.
Yeah. [chuckling]
No, we've been-- Aku and I've been--
[Aku] That was a long time ago.
We got, like, ancestral kinship
that we've had and we’re just in this life right now.
-Pruning each other. -[chuckles]
-Hair and makeup. -Yeah. [chuckles]
["Constellations Shine" continues]
♪ Everything is fine ♪
♪ We don't waste no time, no We don't waste no time… ♪
[Aku] I saw, um, a Native rapper when I was 20 years old
and… [chuckling]
…maybe I was 18 or 19,
and he had a song called "Natives Doing Naughties".
And, um, all these Native women came out
in little bikinis with gold bikinis
-and, like, bling on… -[man chuckling]
…and they were booty dancing, and I was, like, 19 and I was, like,
"This is the best you got for me?"
"I’m a young person and I can’t believe this is it."
So I was like, "I’ll be the Alaska Native rapper,
thank you very much."
[vocalizes]
♪ Oh, I’m a bowhead whale Swimming in the ocean ♪
♪ You know me so well Oh, oh, swimming out in the sea ♪
♪ I know you see me And I know you want me ♪
♪ But no, no you can’t have me, no, no ♪
♪ No, I’m not easy, oh, oh I know you want me, but no, no, no, no ♪
♪ I’m not easy ♪
[rapping in Native language]
[crowd applauds, cheers]
[tuning guitar]
So… just recently, like, in the past eight months,
I kicked a serious, doctor-prescribed,
but a serious opium habit.
[crowd applauds]
-Thank you very much. -[crowd applauding, cheering]
I think it’s something that should be congratulated.
[crowd chuckling]
I wanna let you know that probably some of you in here now
probably have fucking, you know, heroin addictions and shit like that.
And it probably feels like, uh, you can’t get out of it,
and, uh, more than-- You know, it is really fucking difficult.
But the only other fucking option is death,
and so, when I had, you know,
my children and my family and I looked at myself,
and I fucking weighed, you know, like,
a hundred and fucking ten pounds.
I fucking, you know, knew that if I didn’t fucking stop,
that I would fucking die.
And so, uh… it can be done. It’s a pain in the ass.
Just smoke a lot of grass and be around good people, you know?
[crowd cheering, applauding]
Why the fuck did I bring that up?
-I swear. -[crowd chuckling]
[Emily] I was walking with an aunty in the dream.
I don’t think I asked,
I think Aunty said, "You’re powerful." And I said, "Well, I know all that."
But I don’t know how. Like, what is it exactly?
-[man] Yeah. -[Emily] Like, can I start fire?
-Like, I wanted to know that specifically. -[man] Yeah.
[Emily] Like, I wanted to know, like, what is the…
actual channel of power that I have.
-That's end. -[man] Yeah.
[Emily] That was the dream, and that’s what I want to know also.
-Growing up, that was Grandma's home… -[man] Mm.
[Emily] …was the bar and my mom, who is from here…
-[woman] Yeah. -[Emily] …had asked her
to teach me and my brothers language.
And the story is that she said no. [clears throat]
And my interpretation of that story is about protection and love
and I appreciate that now.
I think there was a bit of time where I was a bit angry about that,
because I would really love to know language.
And she owned this bar,
down where I grew up in Clam Gulch.
I didn’t grow up in Clam Gulch,
it’s a bit south of where I grew up in Sterling, but…
And this is not Yupik home-- Yupik land.
And she called her bar, the Queana bar and Queana,
not this spelling… [chuckles] …this is like an Anglicized spelling,
-if you’re settler, you can say Queana. -[Cannupa] Uh-huh.
So, this is the name of the bar
and it’s the thank you bar because this means "thank you",
and that’s her bar.
But it’s also her home. [chuckles]
So, it’s where-- Growing up, that was grandma's home, was the bar.
-[Cannupa] Mm. -The Queana bar.
And her little, um, kitchen in the back
was a bit smaller than this room actually. [chuckles]
And every time I’d go back there, there would be mouse nose stew
or fish head stew or something like that.
And her house was also in the bar.
It was also where we’d do all our salmon processings.
So, we’d harvest all our salmon altogether.
Aunties, uncles, cousins, everyone would come and there’s a fish cleaning hill,
about a three-story smokehouse.
So, we’d do all that there.
All the hunting would start there and then you’d go out and come back.
As well as, you know, Sunday sourdoughs
and, like, all of our kinda family gatherings
would be there and family, and all that good stuff with family,
and also all the bad stuff with family,
and also all the bad stuff with a bunch of drunk strangers as well.
There was this guy who was there a lot.
He was really, um… like, cowboy.
Like, really pockmarked, like, his face… And always, like, really tall.
I just remember him tall and had that belt and jeans and this hat.
So one day outside, um, in the front of the bar,
I was with my dad and my cousin Tom and some other people around.
And there was this bit of wood up on the step
that leads up into the doorway of the bar.
And there was this mouse running around… [clears throat]
…just in and out.
Just bouncing around. And he had this big cowboy, uh… boot,
and he just, like, stomped on that plywood when the mouse ran under it,
he stomped on it and broke the plywood and I remember the sound.
And then he pulled the plywood up and he laughed and laughed and laughed,
and the mouse had been pregnant, and there were these, um…
It was dead and squished, but the fetuses were moving around.
And I just remember, like… [chuckles]
As, like-- The Queana Bar is a place of beautiful memories
and beautiful growing up and beautiful,
like, that’s where I learned about my love of salmon and land and family.
And it’s also, like, where I was first sexually molested.
It’s also where this dude killed this mouse.
And I saw these fetuses squirming and I looked up at these men in my life
and none of them did anything like, the Native men I was standing with
didn’t do anything.
And it just felt like-- I just remember
thinking that we should all, like, take down this guy… [chuckles]
-…for killing this mouse. -[Cannupa] Mm.
Like, I… And these little fetus mice.
And I remember being upset at my family…
at that time.
But beautiful things happened there as well, and that’s, like,
yeah, there were good stories and there were bad stories,
and it’s all part of the mix of family, and strangers, and alcohol,
and all of what that mix is.
Yeah, um, you know, sleeping under the pool table and…
like, that was fun and it was also dark, you know.
["I Am Looking for the Truth, Not a Knife in the Back" playing]
♪ There she goes With the strangest clothes ♪
♪ How I hate you ♪
♪ And there she blows Some stranger she knows ♪
♪ How I hate you ♪
♪ That wishin’ well won’t stop the spell ♪
♪ Of sorrow ♪
♪ Knowin' all the things ♪
♪ I have done ♪
-[woman] Come on! It’s a documentary! -[laughing]
-Jason! -Oh, wait, can we have a menu?
[laughing]
-[woman] Thank you! -Oh, man.
-[woman] Yeah, is this a thing? -[Aku] Yes.
[woman] Like, I don’t even know what’s going on.
It’s definitely a thing.
[woman] My heart is so pure.
"Pure"? Like an oil slick?
[woman] I’m really nice.
I’ll never fuck you over, that’s the thing.
[Aku] Oh, that's nice.
-[woman] Have the best time! -[Aku] Okay, thank you.
[woman] How can I see it?
-[man] Netflix! -[Aku] It's gonna be a while.
-It's gonna be a while. -[man] Netflix.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, my gosh. [laughs] Oh!
[woman] Are you a man or a woman?
-I’m a person. -[man] Oh, my God.
-[chuckles] -[woman] I ask you…
Oh, thank you.
-[man] Woo. -[woman] You're so cute.
-Thank you. -[woman] What? [chuckling]
-Bye. -Bye.
[woman] I wanna see it! When am I gonna see it?
-We don’t know. Hi, Bird! How are you? -[Bird] Hello! I'm good, how are you?
[Aku] Oh, my gosh, I didn’t know you were here.
♪ Own all the things… ♪
[man] What the fuck?
♪ I have done ♪
[inaudible]
♪ And she blames well And casts her spell ♪
♪ Oh, I hate you ♪
♪ On hands and knees And I’ve been praying, please ♪
♪ Oh, how I hate you ♪
♪ That wishin’ well ♪
♪ Won’t stop the spell of sorrow ♪
♪ Knowin' all the things I have done ♪
♪ There she goes In the strangest clothes ♪
♪ How I hate you ♪
♪ The Earth will shake ♪
♪ But I won’t wake ♪
♪ And I hate you ♪
♪ That wishin’ well won’t stop the spell ♪
♪ Of sorrow ♪
♪ Knowin' all the things ♪
♪ I have seen ♪
♪ That wishin’ well won’t stop the spell ♪
♪ Of sorrow ♪
♪ Knowin all the things ♪
♪ I have stole ♪
["Dyin' Alone" playing]
♪ I'm not afraid ♪
♪ Of the sunset or the rain ♪
♪ I'm just ♪
♪ Afraid of dyin' alone ♪
♪ What would you find? ♪
♪ What would you say? ♪
♪ And what would you mean? ♪
♪ I'm not afraid ♪
♪ Of the suffering or the pain ♪
♪ I'm just ♪
♪ Afraid without finding you ♪
♪ What would I find? ♪
♪ What would I say? ♪
♪ And what would I mean? ♪
♪ What would we find? ♪
♪ What would we say? ♪
♪ And what would we mean? ♪
[song concludes]