Downloaded from YTS.MX
I have never seen anything like it.
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX
It broke my brain in a really good way.
It'll be something you'll wanna talk about.
Painfully awkward.
There were points that were really uncomfortable for me.
When I have seen the show in its entirety,
people are genuinely confused and sometimes mad.
And that's art, baby.
[electric guitar playing]
[cheering]
["Comin' Up for Air" by Stephen Emil Dudas & Mark G Hart playing]
[cheering and applause]
[cheering]
[cheering and applause]
[coughs]
[laughs]
[grunts]
[panting]
[grunts]
[crow laughs]
[clears throat]
Who wants a LaCroix?
[laughs]
Yeah? All right.
[grunts]
-[Nate] You, sir. -Thank you.
'Sup? You're welcome.
Anybody else? Yeah?
[laughs]
All right, who else? Anybody back there? Yup.
[screams]
Just kidding. Can you pass it back?
Yeah.
Take one and pass it down. You guys know how this works.
[clears throat]
-You, miss? -Thank you.
Buddy? You doing a lot of the heavy lifting.
All right.
[sighs]
All right. [clears throat]
[grunts]
On the count of 12...
[laughs]
...we're all gonna chug these.
First one to finish...
gets to do whatever they want...
to whoever they want...
in this room.
One...
two...
[screaming] twelve!
[cheering and applause]
Hello?
Who won?
[screams] I did!
[grunts]
[chuckles]
Guess that means I get to do...
whatever I want...
to whoever I want...
in this room.
Hm...
May I?
No.
-No? -No.
All right.
[Nate] May I?
-Yes, you may. -[Nate] Oh.
Hm...
Solid.
[cheering and applause]
All you got to do is ask.
[laughs]
[woman 1 cheering]
And were you comfortable with that?
-I was. -Oh.
And she was comfortable with that because I...
-[crowd] Asked. -Asked, very good.
'Cause all you gotta do is...
-[crowd] Ask. -...ask. All right.
[laughs]
May I?
Sure.
Damn, dude.
[grunts]
What was that? Nine inches?
Give or take?
-Give or take, yeah. -[Nate] Give or take?
Is it give, or is it take?
-And were you comfortable with that? -Yes. Thank you for asking.
You're welcome.
[laughs]
And he was comfortable with that because I...
-[crowd] Asked. -...asked.
'Cause all you gotta do is...
-[crowd] Ask. -...ask.
Very good. Now you guys are catching on.
All right.
-Give me an A! -[crowd] A!
-Give me an S! -[crowd] S!
-Give me a K! -[crowd] K!
-What's that spell? -[crowd] Ask.
Ask.
-Ask. -[crowd] Ask.
Oh!
He didn't...
-[crowd] Ask. -...ask!
Let me see your hands!
-Ask. -[crowd] Ask.
Ask!
[screaming] Ask!
Axe!
Axe.
[panting] Axe.
Axe.
My ex...
[laughs]
...she...
She just broke up with me.
And I asked her everything.
I asked before I kissed her.
I asked her before I ate her pussy.
Damn.
I miss that tuna casserole.
[laughs]
I...
I even asked her to...
take my gam-gam's ring.
[sighs empathetically]
But she said no. [breathes heavily]
Come on, Nate.
Express yourself.
Come on, Nate.
Express yourself.
Wow.
So, that's what crying feels like.
[laughs]
I don't know if I'll ever find love again.
Although, I have started noticing my art teacher, Miss Jackson.
I'm taking this Adult Night Painting class over the local middle school.
You know the one.I
[laughs]
So, I guess I could use some relationship advice.
Anybody here in a relationship?
Who's here with their partner right now?
Keep them up.
Let's see.
You pointing at those guys?
You two?
Are you together?
-[woman 2] Yeah. -Right on.
-How's it going? -Good. How are you?
I'm all right.
Little heartbroken, but all right.
First off-- What's up, man?
-I'm Nate. -I'm Noah.
-What was that? -Noah.
Noah, pleasure.
-LaCroix? -Sure.
Here you go.
So, how long have you two been together?
Seven months.
Seven months?
Wow.
That's incredible.
So, what's it take to keep the spark alive?
Laughter...
honesty.
Laughter and honesty.
Wow.
[laughs]
All right. I'll keep that in mind.
I'm so sorry. Actually, I never got your name.
You didn't ask me before, but it's Helen.
Yeah, I'm so sorry I didn't ask you.
[laughs and applause]
It's Kellen?
It's Helen. H-E-L-E-N.
-Helen? -[Helen] Yeah, you got it.
Oh.
Probably couldn't understand 'cause it's actually pronounced "He-lain."
It's Gaelic.
But whatever. It's your name. Say it how you want.
Even though you're saying it wrong.
I just...
I know 'cause my ex's name was Helen.
So...
It's crazy. [chuckles]
Such a rare name.
Where are you from?
Mount Vernon.
-Mount Vernon, New York? -[Helen] Yes.
-Born and raised? -[Helen] Yes.
Shut up.
[laughs and applause]
Hm...
Wow.
That's nuts. My ex, Helen...
she was born and raised in Mount Vernon, New York.
[chuckles] That's so crazy.
Wow!
What's your job?
Hm...
I'm currently in between jobs.
That's okay. What did you do before?
-I worked in a gallery. -[Nate] You worked in a gallery?
-Yeah. -[Nate] Doing what?
I was the assistant.
The assistant to...?
[Helen] To the gallery.
[laughs]
To the gallery?
And what was the gallery called?
It was called Ghebaly.
Ghebaly?
Shut up.
Oh, my God!
Wow.
Hm...
That's so nuts. My ex, Helen...
she's currently unemployed
but used to be an assistant at a gallery...
named Ghebaly.
Wow, that's so crazy.
Hm...
Okay.
This is kind of crazy, but... I don't know why I'm asking this.
Just humor me for a sec. Okay?
Uber or Lyft?
I-- I use Lyft.
-Lyft? -[Helen] Yeah.
Shut up.
My ex, Helen...
she's obsessed with Lyft.
Hence the tattoo.
Can you...
Can you go like this for me?
[whispers] No.
-What was that? -No.
Helen?
Oh, my God! What are you doing here?
You just dump my ass and then show up at my solo show?
With some fucking guy, huh?
What the fuck was your name again?
Noah.
Fuckhead?
Oh!
Okay, fuckhead.
What do you think about her whore ass, huh?
Smashing both our dicks at the same time?
For seven months?
What do you think about her whore ass?
I like her.
You like her?
But do you love her?
[laughs and applause]
-[Noah] Yeah. -Yeah?
Why don't you get down here and prove it?
[cheering and applause]
Hey.
Don't make me fucking repeat myself.
-What does he have to do? -What do you want me to do?
I'm not talking to you, bitch.
Hey, fuckhead, get the fuck up here.
Tops off.
-Really? -Yeah.
[cheering and applause]
Oh.
How about a squeeze?
All right, nobody has to do anything they don't wanna do.
-Do you love her? -Yeah.
All right.
Then you're going to have to sign this general liability release waiver.
[laughs and applause]
Read right there. Read right there. Sign right here.
[cheering and applause]
[grunts]
[woman 3 screams]
All right, man, that's just a prop.
[laughs]
[cheering]
[grunts]
[grunting and panting]
[moans]
[grunts]
[grunting and panting]
[panting]
[grunts]
[moans]
-How's that feel? -Great.
How's that feel?
Good. [indistinct]
[moans]
[panting]
[Nate] Okay.
All right. You-- You win.
[breathing heavily]
Put the mat away.
Is that who you want to be with?
Some stagehand?
Or you wanna be with me...
an alpha male?
No, I don't wanna be with you. Sorry.
[sighs]
It's fine, Helen.
All right, man.
Get the fuck out of here.
Shit.
I'm all stanky. [chuckles]
I smell like Fuckhead.
But Fuckhead...
smells like Helen.
Damn.
I miss that tuna casserole.
I got to wash you off.
[grunts]
[man 1 screams]
Seven months with that guy?
Come on, Nate.
Express yourself.
Come on, Nate,
express yourself.
Shit. I'm showering with my bandana on.
[chuckles, moans]
Oh. Shit. I'm showering with my socks on.
[laughs and applause]
Something to remember me by.
Oh, shit.
My undies.
[laughs and applause]
[moans]
[sighs]
Oh, shit. My chest hair.
[chuckles]
[grunts]
[laughs]
As my broken heart bled,
I looked off
into the sunset...
and I watched as Helen ran away from me.
She ran.
She ran, and ran...
and ran, and ran, and ran...
into the distance.
She ran.
She ran, and ran...
and ran, and ran, and ran...
into the sunset.
Helen!
Marry me! [sobbing]
But still...
she ran and ran...
all the way
to the hills of Japan.
Damn.
I could really use a buddy right now.
I haven't seen my best friend Lucas in, like, three weeks.
Where is that guy?
Hey, Lucas!
Hey, Lucas.
Hey, Lucas!
[man 2] Hi, Nate.
There he is.
What's up, man?
Huh, you know...
I feel the same, man. [chuckles]
You know Helen?
Yeah.
She was cheating on my ass with some guy
that was really good at wrestling.
[laughs]
Isn't she a whore ass?
She-- She sucks, man.
Isn't she a whore ass?
Yeah, she--
What kind of whore ass is she?
A mean one, I guess.
She's a mean...
Whore ass?
That's what I wanted to hear.
[laughs]
Hey, man, could you grab me my towel?
It's right down there.
Where are my manners? This is my best buddy, Lucas.
[cheering]
This old cheeseball and I used to run a T-shirt shop together.
In Chile. [chuckles]
Nobody dries me like you do, dude.
[laughs]
Why are you acting like you've never done this before?
Yeah, nice and light, just like I like it.
Yeah, barely get the water off.
[laughs and applause]
[cheering and applause]
Hey, man, can you get my butt?
Not like that, dude!
How the Chileans taught us.
You know.
Dude, are you hungover?
Here. Get the tip wet.
Really get me.
There he goes. Yeah.
Shit. All right.
[moans]
[laughs and applause]
[muffled] Hit it hard. Hard!
[grunts]
[moans]
[screams]
Fuck, dude!
All right.
Your turn.
I'm fucking with you, dude! Oh, my God.
Oh.
I love you, man.
♪ Peanut butter, peanut butter ♪
♪ Spread out ♪
♪ Peanut butter, peanut butter Spread out ♪
♪ Then you put on the... ♪
-Jelly. -♪ ...jelly, and you put on the... ♪
-Bread. -♪ ...bread. ♪
-♪ And then you put it in the... ♪ -Put it in the...
-♪ ...oven. ♪ -...oven.
♪ And you do-si-do ♪
♪ You do-si-do ♪
♪ Ding-a-ling, a-ling, a-ling, a-ling ♪
♪ It's ready! ♪
♪ We're best friends ♪
Nice, dude.
So, what should we do today?
[laughs]
We, huh...
got the bake sale coming up.
Oh, shit, man! What time is it?
Just make up a time.
Ten.
Ten o'clock? Shit, I'm late for my Adult Night Painting class.
Miss Jackson's going to be pissed. [moans]
All right, dude, I wish I could hang out, but it'll have to be another time.
I'll see you later.
-See you. -See you.
♪ Peanut butter, peanut butter-- ♪
Dude, I can't right now. I'm late. All right, I'll see you.
Peanut-- Dude, I can't!
I have to go. I'll see you later. Pea-- Stop it!
Oh, my God. Enough with this guy.
[cheering and applause]
All right, guys, I'll see you later.
I'm late for my Adult Night Painting class.
Have a good one!
[woman 4] All right, class.
All right, class. Everyone, please.
Everyone please get to your seats, okay?
It's time to give your final painting presentation.
So, I want everyone ready with their painting at their easel.
Okay, time for roll call.
Tara Hyman?
-[woman 5] Here! -[woman 6] Here.
[woman 4] Two of you today.
Mike Hunthertz?
-[man 3] Here. -[woman 4] Oh.
Hi, Mike, always on time.
Nate Palamino?
Nate?
[door opens]
Miss Jackson!
[rock music plays]
[cheering and applause]
-Sorry I'm late, Miss Jackson. -[Miss Jackson] It's fine, Nate.
You're just in time to give your final painting presentation.
[Nate] Oh.
My...
my painting. [chuckles]
Forgot that was due today.
[Miss Jackson] It's fine, Nate. Just present whatever you have.
[Nate] Okay.
[moans, panting]
[breathing heavily]
This is a portrait
of my ex-girlfriend...
Helen.
[laughs]
I'm...
sorry it's not really finished, Miss Jackson, huh...
We've been going through a breakup, so...
it's been pretty tough to work on.
[Miss Jackson] It's fine, Nate.
Why don't you just start with some of the symbolism?
Okay.
So...
I painted a...
casserole dish...
[laughs]
...around her pussy...
because I love how her pussy tastes like tuna casserole.
[Miss Jackson] Wow, Nate, that's really beautiful.
You know, there's a phenomenon called bacterial vaginosis...
and when there's an overgrowth
of a perfectly naturally-occurring bacteria in the vagina,
-it causes that fishy odor. -[Nate] Okay, Miss Jackson.
I don't want to know all the magician's tricks.
[laughs]
Anyway...
it was pretty tough to work on her face because she's just...
so beautiful and...
I couldn't stand to look at her anymore, and...
I'm sorry, Miss Jackson. I just--
I just really can't give this presentation right now. It's too raw.
-I got to get out of here. -[Miss Jackson] Nate! Wait.
[Nate] Yeah?
[Miss Jackson] I'm sorry I pushed you to give that presentation.
I didn't realize you were so...
sensitive.
[Nate] Yeah, I guess I am...
sensitive.
[Miss Jackson] Listen, I'd like to make it up to you.
I have an extra ticket to this show tonight called Nate.
[Nate] Nate? That's my name.
[Miss Jackson] Yeah, that's why I thought you might like it.
Would you want to come with me?
[Nate] Fuck, yeah. [laughs]
[both laughing]
[Nate] Oh, my God. That guy was hilarious! [laughs]
Shit. Huh...
That tiny motorcycle? Genius. [laughs]
[Miss Jackson] I know. I can't believe I let him grab my tits!
[laughs]
[Nate] Yeah, so crazy.
[Miss Jackson] I just didn't really get why he pulled out an axe.
[Nate shrugs]
Yeah, he lost me there.
[grunts]
Anyway, I think we're both pretty drunk.
Can I-- Can I call you a Lyft?
[Miss Jackson] Actually, I prefer Uber.
[Nate] Wow! You're the exact opposite...
of my ex. [chuckles]
[Miss Jackson] But you know what? I don't really want to go home right now.
It's so beautiful out here overlooking Niagara Falls.
[Nate] Yeah.
Look, you can see the United States of America from here.
[Miss Jackson] Wow! USA is amazing. [chuckles]
♪ Oh, say can you see ♪
♪ By the dawn's early light ♪
[Nate] Wow, that's a beautiful song.
What is that?
[laughs]
Oh, my gosh. Miss Jackson, you're shivering.
-Do you want my jacket? -[Miss Jackson] Yeah, if you don't mind.
[Nate] No, of course not.
Wouldn't want you getting cold while we look up at the stars.
[Miss Jackson] Yeah, thanks.
Do you know any constellations?
[Nate] Constellations? Sure do.
There's Orion's Belt, and there's the Big Dipper.
[Miss Jackson] And what's that?
[laughs]
[Nate] Oh, that's...
That's...
[Miss Jackson] Nate?
Nate?
-Nate! -Oh! [chuckles]
Sorry, I passed out for a sec. [chuckles]
Maybe we should be getting home.
[Miss Jackson] Shhh.
[moans]
♪ The itsy-bitsy spider ♪
♪ Went down the water spout ♪
♪ Down came the rain ♪
♪ And washed the spider out ♪
♪ Out came the sun ♪
♪ And dried up all the rain ♪
♪ And the itsy-bitsy spider ♪
♪ Went up... ♪
[Nate grunts] Oh, shit.
[moans]
[laughs]
[moans]
Damn.
A hand job overlooking Niagara Falls?
[Miss Jackson] Suck your own dick.
[Nate] What?
[Miss Jackson] Suck your own dick.
[Nate] Suck my own dick?
Believe me, I'd love to, but I don't think I'm flexible--
[moans]
Oh, my God! I'm amazing.
Oh, shit. Wow!
[moans]
What are you doing back there?
[moans]
[Miss Jackson] Your ass tastes amazing.
I want you to fuck me overlooking Niagara Falls.
[Nate] Fuck you overlooking Niagara Falls?
Yes, ma'am.
[Miss Jackson] I want you to take off all my--
[Nate] Oh, shit.
[grunts]
[chuckles]
Your body fell apart.
[Miss Jackson] Yeah, sometimes it just happens when I'm really drunk.
[moans]
I still just want you to take off all my clothes,
and I want you to--
And don't forget my hair.
-And I want you to-- -[Nate] Oh. I'll need that. [chuckles]
[Miss Jackson] I want you to put me back together...
[panting]
[Nate] You got it, baby.
[moans]
May I...
fuck you on Niagara Falls?
[Miss Jackson] You may.
[both moaning]
[Miss Jackson] Nate, Nate, Nate.
[Nate] Miss Jackson.
[Miss Jackson] Nate, Nate, Nate.
[Nate] Miss Jackson.
[Miss Jackson] Nate, Nate, Nate.
[Nate] Miss Jackson.
Hm...
Miss Jackson?
-Miss Jackson? -[Miss Jackson] What?
[Nate] Phew.
Everyone thought you were asleep. [chuckles]
[Miss Jackson] Oh, no, sorry. I just zoned out for a sec.
Oh, my God! Your dick's so big. Feels so good.
[laughs and applause]
[Nate] Yeah, it does.
Miss Jackson.
Miss Jackson?
Hey.
You zone out again?
Oh, shit.
Come on.
Come on, get up.
Let's-- let's get you home.
Oh, shit.
Hey, Lucas!
[laughs]
[Lucas] Hi, Nate.
Hey, man, I need your help at Niagara Falls.
-Coming. -Okay.
Thank you. Huh...
This is Miss Jackson, my art teacher I was telling you about.
We were on a date and we...
We both had a little too much to drink...
and she passed out.
So, I just need some help getting her home.
-Okay. -Do you want to...?
You wanna grab her legs?
Sure.
Huh, just one sec.
Is what I did wrong?
[man 4] Yeah.
[Nate] Yeah?
Is what I did wrong?
-Just a yes or no. -[laughs]
-[man 5] No. -[woman 7] No.
-[Nate] No? -[man 6] It's not wrong. She passed out.
Yes?
[woman 8] She said it right after...
-[woman 9] Yes. -[man 7] Yeah.
-[man 8] No. -[woman 10] No.
[man 9] No.
-[man 10] Yes. -[man 11] Yes.
-[woman 11] No. -[woman 12] Yes.
[woman 13] You asked.
It's confusing, huh?
All right, she just lives right back there, man.
[laughs and applause]
Thank you so much, man.
♪ Peanut butter, peanut butter Spread out ♪
Peanut butter, peanut-- Dude, now's not really the time.
[Lucas] Hm...
Thanks so much, man.
I'll see you at the bake sale?
Yeah.
Thank you. Thanks again.
I gotta wash that off.
Is what I did wrong?
Come on, Nate.
Express yourself.
Come on, Nate.
Express yourself.
Express yourself!
[screams] Express yourself!
[laughs]
[Miss Jackson] Huh, I got too drunk.
I got too drunk.
[moans]
I shouldn't have had that much to drink before the show.
[moans]
I mean...
I don't think he meant to do anything wrong. I just...
I don't remember.
I mean, I remember eating his ass.
But not much after that.
All right, class. Everyone, please get to your seats.
[laughs]
It's time for roll call. [clears throat]
Okay. [clears throat]
Tara Hyman?
-[woman 5] Here. -Just one of you today?
Okay, Mike Hunthertz?
-[man 3] Here. -Hey, Mike. Always on time.
[clears throat]
Nate Palamino.
Nate?
Nate, Nate, Nate.
[panting]
Nate, Nate, Nate.
[Nate] Miss Jackson!
[laughs]
[Miss Jackson] Nate.
[Nate] I'm sorry I'm late.
-[Miss Jackson] It's fine. -[Nate] Oh. Well...
about last night...
hm...
We were both too drunk,
and we shouldn't have had sex.
So, I wanted to say
I'm sorry I raped you.
[Miss Jackson] Nate, I mean...
you were drunk too, and I ate your ass and made you suck your own dick.
So, I'm sorry
I raped you.
[Nate] No.
I'm sorry I raped you.
[Miss Jackson] No, I'm sorry I raped you.
[Nate] No, I raped you.
[Miss Jackson] No, I raped you.
[Nate] No, I raped you.
-[Miss Jackson] No, I raped you. -[Nate] No, I raped you!
-[Miss Jackson] I raped you! -[Nate] Freeze!
[laughs]
Hey, everyone.
I'm Nate Palamino.
Thanks so much for coming out to my solo show.
I worked really hard on it,
so I hope the message was clear.
[cheering]
Thank you, guys.
Thank you. Thank you, guys.
Thank you! Thank you so much.
Thank you. Thank you, guys.
Have a good night! See you!
["Comin' Up for Air" by Stephen Emil Dudas & Mark G Hart playing]