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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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You know, they say
people in glass houses

4
00:00:37,455 --> 00:00:40,374
should throw stones, but
I think people in any type

5
00:00:40,375 --> 00:00:42,584
of house shouldn't throw a stone.

6
00:00:42,585 --> 00:00:43,420
I mean, I'm not even worrying

7
00:00:43,421 --> 00:00:44,712
about like the glass windows or anything.

8
00:00:44,713 --> 00:00:46,672
People, why are you
throwing stones at people?

9
00:00:46,673 --> 00:00:48,924
Where are you even getting these stones?

10
00:00:48,925 --> 00:00:49,759
Am I the weird one?

11
00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:51,301
I don't have stones in my place.

12
00:00:51,302 --> 00:00:52,402
Is that weird?

13
00:00:53,388 --> 00:00:54,972
Ford Fiesta.

14
00:00:54,973 --> 00:00:55,807
Why do they call it that?

15
00:00:55,808 --> 00:00:57,016
I feel like it's never really a fiesta

16
00:00:57,017 --> 00:00:59,393
when you get inside, right?

17
00:00:59,394 --> 00:01:01,228
It's just like it's a car.

18
00:01:01,229 --> 00:01:02,938
I went apple-picking the other day.

19
00:01:02,939 --> 00:01:03,815
Oh, I wish you guys were there.

20
00:01:03,816 --> 00:01:06,026
I went apple-picking,
I got myself an iPad.

21
00:01:07,819 --> 00:01:08,986
And an iPhone.

22
00:01:08,987 --> 00:01:10,087
6C.

23
00:01:12,323 --> 00:01:14,408
The term glory hole,
it's kind of a weird use

24
00:01:14,409 --> 00:01:16,952
of the word glory, don't you think?

25
00:01:16,953 --> 00:01:21,916
I mean, it's not--

26
00:01:24,753 --> 00:01:26,462
How you doing?

27
00:01:28,631 --> 00:01:31,216
Hey, this is Scott, leave
a message after the beep.

28
00:01:31,217 --> 00:01:32,509
Hey, sweetie.

29
00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:34,136
I'm sorry LA didn't work out.

30
00:01:34,137 --> 00:01:36,180
I know how much you
wanted to be a comedian.

31
00:01:36,181 --> 00:01:37,514
But maybe it's for the best.

32
00:01:37,515 --> 00:01:39,558
Your father and I can't
wait to have you home.

33
00:01:39,559 --> 00:01:41,186
Drive safe, love you.

34
00:02:24,979 --> 00:02:25,814
Who's that?

35
00:02:25,815 --> 00:02:28,066
- Hey, Scotty, hey.
- What's up, Pop?

36
00:02:34,656 --> 00:02:38,451
Did you know bears can smell
food from three miles away?

37
00:02:40,453 --> 00:02:41,538
Didn't know that.

38
00:02:41,539 --> 00:02:43,580
- Yeah, me neither.
- It's crazy.

39
00:02:43,581 --> 00:02:45,165
Yeah.

40
00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:46,266
Place looks nice.

41
00:02:47,085 --> 00:02:49,253
Well, we got a new couch last year.

42
00:02:49,254 --> 00:02:50,838
- This one?
- Mm-hmm.

43
00:02:50,839 --> 00:02:51,939
That's great.

44
00:02:53,758 --> 00:02:54,858
It's great.

45
00:02:57,178 --> 00:02:58,595
You know where Mom is?

46
00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:00,222
She's at the store.

47
00:03:00,223 --> 00:03:02,016
Yeah, she'll be back in a little while.

48
00:03:04,269 --> 00:03:06,812
Leaving the
juveniles to attempt the risky,

49
00:03:06,813 --> 00:03:09,399
if effective, dash and grab.

50
00:03:11,151 --> 00:03:12,442
All right, good to see you.

51
00:03:12,443 --> 00:03:13,569
And brown bears do go

52
00:03:13,570 --> 00:03:16,238
into a deep sleep during--
Good to see you too.

53
00:03:16,239 --> 00:03:17,907
Known as torpor.

54
00:03:18,950 --> 00:03:20,368
Hibernation is when...

55
00:03:24,497 --> 00:03:25,597
Hello, Sister.

56
00:03:28,668 --> 00:03:29,502
Hello.

57
00:03:29,502 --> 00:03:30,336
Look who it is.

58
00:03:30,337 --> 00:03:32,087
Comedy world's slowest-rising star.

59
00:03:32,088 --> 00:03:33,089
Right off the bat.

60
00:03:33,090 --> 00:03:34,965
Wow, okay, because I
see you're still living

61
00:03:34,966 --> 00:03:36,592
with our parents at 30 so...

62
00:03:36,593 --> 00:03:38,051
Pretty sure you're older than me

63
00:03:38,052 --> 00:03:40,429
and just moved back in
with our parents, so...

64
00:03:40,430 --> 00:03:41,472
I'm also saving up.

65
00:03:41,473 --> 00:03:42,598
I'm managing the pretzel
shop at the mall now.

66
00:03:42,599 --> 00:03:44,057
Did you just try bragging

67
00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:44,976
about working at a pretzel shop in a mall?

68
00:03:44,977 --> 00:03:48,061
I'm just saying one of us
has a job and it's not you.

69
00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:49,772
Or, oh god.

70
00:03:51,399 --> 00:03:53,025
Don't tell me Dad's gonna hire you back.

71
00:03:53,026 --> 00:03:55,235
No, I am not gonna
work for him ever again.

72
00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:57,404
You say that now, but I'm
pretty sure you once said

73
00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:59,531
you were never coming back here, so...

74
00:03:59,532 --> 00:04:00,657
I'm not back here.

75
00:04:00,658 --> 00:04:02,576
I mean, I'm obviously back
here, but I'm not back here.

76
00:04:02,577 --> 00:04:04,453
I'm not back--
You having a stroke?

77
00:04:04,454 --> 00:04:07,039
Better question is are
you still dating that guy

78
00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:08,457
with the vanity license plate?

79
00:04:08,458 --> 00:04:10,209
Oh, remember, it said mortify?

80
00:04:10,210 --> 00:04:12,085
Okay, well I'm dating a cop now.

81
00:04:12,086 --> 00:04:13,795
I don't believe that for a second.

82
00:04:13,796 --> 00:04:15,173
You are dating a cop?

83
00:04:16,966 --> 00:04:18,051
A security guard.

84
00:04:18,051 --> 00:04:18,885
There it is.

85
00:04:18,886 --> 00:04:20,802
His name is Ruis and he's awesome.

86
00:04:20,803 --> 00:04:22,638
Nobody dating you could ever be awesome.

87
00:04:22,639 --> 00:04:24,264
And no one who lives with their parents

88
00:04:24,265 --> 00:04:27,018
at 34 is even remotely cool, dip-shit.

89
00:04:32,565 --> 00:04:33,815
It's good to see you.

90
00:04:33,816 --> 00:04:35,067
It's good to see you too.

91
00:04:35,068 --> 00:04:36,735
I'm gonna drink tonight
at the Whale's Tail.

92
00:04:36,736 --> 00:04:38,111
- You want in?
- Nope.

93
00:04:38,112 --> 00:04:39,197
Hanging out with my boyfriend.

94
00:04:39,198 --> 00:04:40,656
I fucking hate him.

95
00:04:40,657 --> 00:04:42,283
Ugh, unbelievable.

96
00:04:46,913 --> 00:04:48,830
So for four years, you hated it?

97
00:04:48,831 --> 00:04:51,083
No, I actually loved it
for the first year or so.

98
00:04:51,084 --> 00:04:52,251
I mean, I was getting up a bunch.

99
00:04:52,252 --> 00:04:53,794
I was writing, things were clicking.

100
00:04:53,795 --> 00:04:56,255
And then, I don't know,
man, things got harder

101
00:04:56,256 --> 00:04:59,216
and harder and I got poorer and poorer.

102
00:04:59,217 --> 00:05:00,051
You're broke too?

103
00:05:00,052 --> 00:05:01,718
No no no no, I just
thought it'd be really fun

104
00:05:01,719 --> 00:05:03,136
to move back in with Gary and Jeanine.

105
00:05:03,137 --> 00:05:04,638
Hey, don't get sassy with me.

106
00:05:04,639 --> 00:05:06,598
I'm just saying, I was on your website.

107
00:05:06,599 --> 00:05:08,517
I saw all types of dates and times.

108
00:05:08,518 --> 00:05:10,435
You was booked, you was doing shows.

109
00:05:10,436 --> 00:05:13,563
Yeah, those weren't so much
dates as they were open mics.

110
00:05:13,564 --> 00:05:15,440
You were back doing open mics?

111
00:05:15,441 --> 00:05:17,776
Seriously, you shoulda called more.

112
00:05:17,777 --> 00:05:19,027
I know, I should've called.

113
00:05:19,028 --> 00:05:19,904
I got three kids.

114
00:05:19,904 --> 00:05:20,947
You don't think I want
them to know who you are?

115
00:05:20,948 --> 00:05:22,197
I know, I know, I know.

116
00:05:22,198 --> 00:05:23,699
I promise you I will call more.

117
00:05:23,700 --> 00:05:25,409
I'll be around more, okay?

118
00:05:25,410 --> 00:05:27,536
I know you have the machine back there.

119
00:05:27,537 --> 00:05:30,372
Come on, bring it out
because I got to sing.

120
00:05:30,373 --> 00:05:31,915
You know I got to sing.

121
00:05:31,916 --> 00:05:34,626
- No, it's not karaoke night.
- But it could be.

122
00:05:34,627 --> 00:05:35,877
If I give you a free
shot, will you shut up?

123
00:05:35,878 --> 00:05:36,978
Yes.

124
00:05:38,589 --> 00:05:40,340
See, this, this, I miss this, right?

125
00:05:40,341 --> 00:05:41,758
This feels like home.

126
00:05:41,759 --> 00:05:42,719
Drinking.

127
00:05:42,719 --> 00:05:43,761
Not by myself.

128
00:05:43,762 --> 00:05:45,637
You didn't have any friends out there?

129
00:05:45,638 --> 00:05:46,681
No, not really.

130
00:05:46,682 --> 00:05:49,474
I mean, who makes new
friends in their 30s?

131
00:05:49,475 --> 00:05:50,518
Everyone.

132
00:05:50,518 --> 00:05:51,394
Okay.

133
00:05:51,395 --> 00:05:53,312
I follow you on Instagram.

134
00:05:53,313 --> 00:05:55,731
You just posted a picture
with Alyssa Milano.

135
00:05:55,732 --> 00:05:56,774
- Yeah.
- How was that?

136
00:05:56,775 --> 00:05:59,484
We weren't hanging out as
much as I saw her in a Costco.

137
00:05:59,485 --> 00:06:01,987
I took a picture and then
I ran the other direction.

138
00:06:01,988 --> 00:06:03,447
Were you always a liar?

139
00:06:03,448 --> 00:06:05,198
Look at me in my goddamn eyes right now.

140
00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:07,993
10th grade, Leslie Ambrose.

141
00:06:07,994 --> 00:06:09,328
Did she really give you a hand-job?

142
00:06:09,329 --> 00:06:11,455
Leslie Ambrose did
absolutely give me a hand-job.

143
00:06:11,456 --> 00:06:12,873
That was probably my peak.

144
00:06:12,874 --> 00:06:15,042
Your peak should not be a hand-job.

145
00:06:15,043 --> 00:06:15,877
I know.

146
00:06:15,878 --> 00:06:17,461
I know, I know, I know.

147
00:06:17,462 --> 00:06:20,422
So, now that we got that out
of the way, how is Becks?

148
00:06:20,423 --> 00:06:22,799
No, I like how you tried to, uh, no.

149
00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:24,009
We're not gonna talk about Becks.

150
00:06:24,010 --> 00:06:25,218
- Come on.
- Come on.

151
00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:26,428
No, we're not doing it.

152
00:06:26,429 --> 00:06:27,971
I'm gonna go ahead and put a request in

153
00:06:27,972 --> 00:06:29,139
that you don't even bring
her name up anymore.

154
00:06:29,140 --> 00:06:30,682
Request denied, let's
get right back into it.

155
00:06:30,683 --> 00:06:32,142
Do you and Lauren actually
hang out with her?

156
00:06:32,143 --> 00:06:33,685
Is it like a double-date situation

157
00:06:33,686 --> 00:06:34,771
or what is the whole deal?

158
00:06:34,772 --> 00:06:36,938
Dude, I told you I got three kids.

159
00:06:36,939 --> 00:06:38,440
I don't hang out with anybody a bunch

160
00:06:38,441 --> 00:06:39,941
except for they little asses.

161
00:06:39,942 --> 00:06:41,360
Matter of fact, when I get done

162
00:06:41,361 --> 00:06:43,445
with this here beer, I'm going home.

163
00:06:43,446 --> 00:06:44,863
No, we're hanging out.

164
00:06:44,864 --> 00:06:46,156
You can't just go home.

165
00:06:46,157 --> 00:06:48,909
Dude, it's almost nine o'clock at night.

166
00:06:48,910 --> 00:06:50,619
I start my route at 5:00 a.m.

167
00:06:50,620 --> 00:06:52,204
Oh my god, that is so depressing.

168
00:06:52,205 --> 00:06:54,539
It is, it's depressing,
but it's adulting too.

169
00:06:54,540 --> 00:06:55,957
It's called being a man.

170
00:06:55,958 --> 00:06:57,584
Ohf, how is Becks though?

171
00:06:57,585 --> 00:06:58,461
Is she cool?

172
00:06:58,462 --> 00:07:00,087
Do you hang out with her?

173
00:07:00,088 --> 00:07:01,047
- Fine.
- Yes.

174
00:07:01,047 --> 00:07:01,881
Give it to me, go.

175
00:07:01,882 --> 00:07:03,340
I hang out with them
time and time again.

176
00:07:03,341 --> 00:07:04,384
I see them.

177
00:07:04,385 --> 00:07:06,593
That's why I need to know,
is that gonna be a problem?

178
00:07:06,594 --> 00:07:07,428
What?

179
00:07:07,429 --> 00:07:09,346
'Cause the first time I
invite you over to the house

180
00:07:09,347 --> 00:07:11,014
for one of the boys' birthday parties,

181
00:07:11,015 --> 00:07:12,808
I don't need there to
be any weird tension.

182
00:07:12,809 --> 00:07:16,436
And I know, I know that Owen

183
00:07:16,437 --> 00:07:17,979
is gonna feel uncomfortable around you.

184
00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:19,940
Owen's not gonna be
comfortable with me being there?

185
00:07:19,941 --> 00:07:20,858
Are you...

186
00:07:20,859 --> 00:07:22,109
Like, Owen should fucking love me.

187
00:07:22,110 --> 00:07:23,693
If I didn't skip town like an asshole,

188
00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:24,986
he never would've gotten married to Becks.

189
00:07:24,987 --> 00:07:27,322
See, now that skip town
like an asshole comment

190
00:07:27,323 --> 00:07:28,448
is what concerns me.

191
00:07:28,449 --> 00:07:31,034
- Owen would be uncomfortable?
- Yes.

192
00:07:31,035 --> 00:07:32,369
Dude, I'm not trying to be a dick.

193
00:07:32,370 --> 00:07:33,870
You left her.

194
00:07:33,871 --> 00:07:34,971
You left here.

195
00:07:36,833 --> 00:07:37,933
Right.

196
00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:43,588
Oh, I'm sorry.

197
00:07:43,589 --> 00:07:44,424
Oh, I'm sorry.

198
00:07:44,425 --> 00:07:45,841
It's, it's...

199
00:07:45,842 --> 00:07:47,092
Did I get pee on you?

200
00:07:47,093 --> 00:07:47,927
- What?
- No.

201
00:07:47,928 --> 00:07:50,345
I mean, did you get your own pee on you?

202
00:07:50,346 --> 00:07:52,723
No, I'm fine, please
stop looking at my penis.

203
00:07:53,933 --> 00:07:56,017
Yeah, all right.

204
00:07:56,018 --> 00:07:57,853
Come on, buddy.

205
00:07:57,854 --> 00:07:59,229
Are you pissing in the sink?

206
00:08:02,442 --> 00:08:03,542
No.

207
00:08:05,112 --> 00:08:06,432
Do you want me to call you a cab?

208
00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:09,157
What?

209
00:08:09,158 --> 00:08:10,824
Listen, do you want
me to call you a taxi?

210
00:08:10,825 --> 00:08:13,034
Sorry, I don't need a
taxi 'cause I have the Lyft.

211
00:08:13,035 --> 00:08:13,995
You have Lyft?

212
00:08:13,995 --> 00:08:15,037
Lyft is unbelievable

213
00:08:15,038 --> 00:08:16,872
'cause you don't have
to know where you are.

214
00:08:16,873 --> 00:08:18,081
You know, you just hit the thing

215
00:08:18,082 --> 00:08:20,208
and a guy from another country comes

216
00:08:20,209 --> 00:08:22,878
and takes you right home, it's like magic.

217
00:08:22,879 --> 00:08:24,754
But you do know where you are?

218
00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:25,673
When?

219
00:08:25,674 --> 00:08:26,965
Right now.

220
00:08:26,966 --> 00:08:27,925
Now?

221
00:08:27,926 --> 00:08:29,134
Do you know where you are right now?

222
00:08:29,135 --> 00:08:31,178
- Yes.
- Okay, tell me.

223
00:08:31,179 --> 00:08:32,596
- Where are you?
- Here.

224
00:08:32,597 --> 00:08:35,390
- Oh my goodness.
- Whoa, hey, that's no good.

225
00:08:35,391 --> 00:08:36,225
What are you doing?

226
00:08:36,226 --> 00:08:37,517
What, no, no, no, I'm sorry.

227
00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:40,020
- Look, I know what this is.
- Okay.

228
00:08:40,021 --> 00:08:41,605
I got a guy, he'll help you.

229
00:08:41,606 --> 00:08:42,772
He's on the corner of Walnut and Laurel--

230
00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:45,150
Hey, hey, hey, for the last time,

231
00:08:45,151 --> 00:08:47,277
don't bother the customers.

232
00:08:47,278 --> 00:08:48,653
I'm sorry about him.

233
00:08:48,654 --> 00:08:50,280
You're good, you're good, it's fine.

234
00:08:50,281 --> 00:08:52,699
We're just two guys talking
skin conditions, taking pisses.

235
00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:54,117
Yeah, I'm not bothering anybody.

236
00:08:54,118 --> 00:08:55,410
Oh, you think you're cute, huh?

237
00:08:55,411 --> 00:08:57,370
No, I don't think I'm cute, okay?

238
00:08:57,371 --> 00:08:58,705
I know I'm adorable.

239
00:08:58,706 --> 00:08:59,540
Yeah?

240
00:08:59,541 --> 00:09:00,833
- This guy loves me.
- Really?

241
00:09:01,751 --> 00:09:02,627
- He pissed in the sink.
- I didn't piss in the sink.

242
00:09:02,628 --> 00:09:04,085
- I saw him.
- He literally just did it.

243
00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:07,255
- He went on his tippy toes.
- I saw you.

244
00:09:07,256 --> 00:09:08,356
What?

245
00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:00,141
Hey, Scotty.

246
00:10:00,142 --> 00:10:01,351
How'd you sleep?

247
00:10:01,352 --> 00:10:03,436
You need anything in here, more pillows?

248
00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:04,938
No, I'm fine, Mom.

249
00:10:04,939 --> 00:10:07,440
And honestly, you didn't
have to keep all this stuff.

250
00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:08,276
Oh, what stuff?

251
00:10:08,276 --> 00:10:09,110
What stuff?

252
00:10:09,111 --> 00:10:10,902
Look at this, my VHS collection.

253
00:10:10,903 --> 00:10:12,445
Honey, you really need to have someone

254
00:10:12,446 --> 00:10:14,030
take a look at those.

255
00:10:14,031 --> 00:10:16,199
I will, I will, I will, I will.

256
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:17,285
Should just change this room into,

257
00:10:17,286 --> 00:10:19,202
like, Dad's office or something.

258
00:10:19,203 --> 00:10:21,288
Well, he already has an office.

259
00:10:21,289 --> 00:10:22,998
Speaking of which--
Don't, please don't, okay?

260
00:10:22,999 --> 00:10:24,041
Meg already asked me about it.

261
00:10:24,042 --> 00:10:26,001
I'm not gonna work back at
the lumberyard, all right?

262
00:10:26,002 --> 00:10:27,961
Okay, good, because your
father and I talked about it

263
00:10:27,962 --> 00:10:29,588
and he doesn't think it's a good idea.

264
00:10:29,589 --> 00:10:30,423
Seriously?

265
00:10:30,424 --> 00:10:32,716
Honey, you know how he
felt about you leaving.

266
00:10:32,717 --> 00:10:34,884
He always figured you'd
run the place one day.

267
00:10:34,885 --> 00:10:36,970
He figured I would run the place.

268
00:10:36,971 --> 00:10:39,140
That's the word we
should be looking at, he.

269
00:10:41,017 --> 00:10:43,143
You know when I came home
yesterday, he just shook my hand?

270
00:10:43,144 --> 00:10:45,020
He didn't even get up out of his chair.

271
00:10:45,021 --> 00:10:46,313
He just gave me a handshake.

272
00:10:46,314 --> 00:10:49,065
You know how he is.

273
00:10:49,066 --> 00:10:50,568
Just give him some time.

274
00:10:52,988 --> 00:10:54,571
And I like your room the way it is.

275
00:10:54,572 --> 00:10:56,323
Figured if you'd need it, it's here.

276
00:10:56,324 --> 00:10:59,159
Wow, not a lot of faith in
my career decision huh, Ma?

277
00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:01,161
Oh, just so you know, this morning,

278
00:11:01,162 --> 00:11:03,580
I printed out that mailman application.

279
00:11:03,581 --> 00:11:06,000
Why are you so psyched about that?

280
00:11:08,295 --> 00:11:09,836
Mom, I don't wanna be a mailman.

281
00:11:24,018 --> 00:11:25,143
Oh, don't do it.

282
00:11:25,144 --> 00:11:26,562
It's a fun chair, isn't it?

283
00:11:28,481 --> 00:11:30,857
You gotta be fucking kidding me.

284
00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:31,901
I'm sorry.

285
00:11:31,902 --> 00:11:33,068
When you said you knew a guy,

286
00:11:33,069 --> 00:11:36,238
I had no idea that you
were going to be that guy.

287
00:11:37,323 --> 00:11:39,074
Bathroom the other night?

288
00:11:39,075 --> 00:11:40,200
Oh, at the bar.

289
00:11:40,201 --> 00:11:41,576
At the bar in the bathroom.

290
00:11:41,577 --> 00:11:44,454
Oh yeah, listen, it's been
a very crazy day here today.

291
00:11:44,455 --> 00:11:46,956
- So, yeah, oh yeah.
- Wow.

292
00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:49,250
- Good to see you again.
- Good to see you too.

293
00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:51,753
All right, so what do we got going on?

294
00:11:51,754 --> 00:11:55,256
Yeah yeah yeah yeah, I
don't know what they're from,

295
00:11:55,257 --> 00:11:56,758
maybe an allergic reaction to something.

296
00:11:56,759 --> 00:11:58,885
Maybe a new detergent,
but I can't get 'em away.

297
00:11:58,886 --> 00:11:59,720
Yeah.

298
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:00,680
Have you been putting anything on it?

299
00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:01,597
- Yeah.
- Let me guess.

300
00:12:01,598 --> 00:12:02,806
Hydrocortisone.

301
00:12:02,807 --> 00:12:03,766
And it did...

302
00:12:03,767 --> 00:12:05,141
Nothing.

303
00:12:05,142 --> 00:12:06,518
Yeah.

304
00:12:06,519 --> 00:12:07,852
Are you currently sexually active?

305
00:12:07,853 --> 00:12:10,021
- What?
- Sexually active.

306
00:12:10,022 --> 00:12:11,773
You think there's an STD on my arm?

307
00:12:11,774 --> 00:12:12,858
Well, you know.

308
00:12:12,859 --> 00:12:14,693
No, I haven't been going
around fisting strangers.

309
00:12:14,694 --> 00:12:16,403
I don't just find somebody
and stick my entire...

310
00:12:16,404 --> 00:12:18,781
That would be my entire
fucking forearm in there.

311
00:12:19,824 --> 00:12:20,783
- Okay.
- Sorry.

312
00:12:20,783 --> 00:12:21,617
- Yeah.
- That's good to know.

313
00:12:21,618 --> 00:12:22,742
- Okay.
- Yeah, yeah.

314
00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:24,327
It's just a question I
have to ask, that's all.

315
00:12:24,328 --> 00:12:25,428
Yeah.

316
00:12:27,164 --> 00:12:29,249
No, I haven't had sex in awhile.

317
00:12:29,250 --> 00:12:30,625
I haven't had sex in like a couple--

318
00:12:30,626 --> 00:12:31,918
Okay, okay.

319
00:12:31,919 --> 00:12:32,920
Duly noted.

320
00:12:32,921 --> 00:12:34,546
I'm gonna take a look, all right?

321
00:12:34,547 --> 00:12:35,548
Does kissing count?

322
00:12:35,549 --> 00:12:37,132
If I, does kissing count?

323
00:12:37,133 --> 00:12:38,653
It depends on where you kiss, I guess.

324
00:12:40,010 --> 00:12:41,110
Let me see.

325
00:12:46,267 --> 00:12:48,018
Maybe you should be sexually active.

326
00:12:48,978 --> 00:12:52,021
Those are good old-fashioned stress hives.

327
00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:53,398
You can get hives from stress?

328
00:12:53,399 --> 00:12:55,817
Oh, you'd be shocked at what
stress can do to the skin.

329
00:12:55,818 --> 00:12:58,403
It can play havoc with
your integumentary system.

330
00:12:58,404 --> 00:13:00,488
- That's a big word.
- That's why I have the chair.

331
00:13:01,408 --> 00:13:02,991
No, integumentary is a fantastic word,

332
00:13:02,992 --> 00:13:05,034
but just basically means skin.

333
00:13:05,035 --> 00:13:08,163
My daughter went through a
bad divorce a couple years ago

334
00:13:08,164 --> 00:13:10,957
and she had the exact same
reaction, the stress hive.

335
00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:12,959
You see the zigzag pattern there?

336
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:14,377
- Yeah yeah yeah yeah.
- Yeah, exact same.

337
00:13:14,378 --> 00:13:15,670
Stress hives.

338
00:13:15,671 --> 00:13:19,007
Yeah, or you could be
dying of 30, 40 diseases.

339
00:13:19,008 --> 00:13:20,383
- Who knows?
- Oh, thank you for that.

340
00:13:20,384 --> 00:13:21,926
Really helps my stress levels.

341
00:13:21,927 --> 00:13:23,470
- Oh, so you are under stress.
- Oh my god.

342
00:13:23,471 --> 00:13:27,140
- Profoundly so, yeah.
- Oh.

343
00:13:27,141 --> 00:13:29,142
- Why?
- Really?

344
00:13:29,143 --> 00:13:30,243
What's going on?

345
00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:33,314
You don't have the time.

346
00:13:33,315 --> 00:13:34,856
Oh, but I do have the time.

347
00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:36,608
Believe me, I got plenty of time today.

348
00:13:36,609 --> 00:13:37,901
I just checked my sign-in sheet

349
00:13:37,902 --> 00:13:40,320
and the next patient coming
in has a terrible rash

350
00:13:40,321 --> 00:13:44,282
on his scrotum that I have
to apply a topical suave to.

351
00:13:44,283 --> 00:13:46,618
Plus, he looks like the
human version of Eeyore.

352
00:13:46,619 --> 00:13:48,036
The whole thing is a total nightmare.

353
00:13:48,037 --> 00:13:49,662
So believe me, I have nothing but time.

354
00:13:49,663 --> 00:13:51,331
Are you even allowed
to tell me any of that?

355
00:13:51,332 --> 00:13:52,707
Are you even a dermatologist?

356
00:13:52,708 --> 00:13:54,626
I don't see a degree anywhere on any wall.

357
00:13:54,627 --> 00:13:57,003
I graduated from the
University of Phoenix.

358
00:13:57,004 --> 00:13:58,838
I took two online classes.

359
00:13:58,839 --> 00:14:00,548
Both of 'em, you took
both online classes?

360
00:14:00,549 --> 00:14:01,383
Yeah.

361
00:14:01,384 --> 00:14:03,051
The fact that I can't tell
if you're kidding or not

362
00:14:03,052 --> 00:14:05,470
does not make me very confident
in your whole diagnosis.

363
00:14:05,471 --> 00:14:06,555
No, no no no, now, listen.

364
00:14:06,556 --> 00:14:08,890
I'm gonna prescribe a
topical steroid for you.

365
00:14:09,726 --> 00:14:14,312
I actually am on the whole self-pay thing.

366
00:14:14,313 --> 00:14:16,648
So is there any shot this
will just disappear by itself?

367
00:14:16,649 --> 00:14:20,819
Because my insurance is not
really robust or existing.

368
00:14:20,820 --> 00:14:22,445
Yeah, okay.

369
00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:26,241
As the French say, lovely parting gift.

370
00:14:26,242 --> 00:14:27,784
Twice a day, morning and evening.

371
00:14:27,785 --> 00:14:29,869
Keep it dry in between, okay?

372
00:14:29,870 --> 00:14:31,538
And if they come back,
I want you to call me.

373
00:14:31,539 --> 00:14:32,456
Yeah.

374
00:14:32,457 --> 00:14:33,832
And try to relax.

375
00:14:33,833 --> 00:14:35,250
Because once when you
start feeling overwhelmed--

376
00:14:35,251 --> 00:14:36,085
That's what it is.

377
00:14:36,086 --> 00:14:37,877
That's exactly what I've been feeling.

378
00:14:37,878 --> 00:14:40,922
I just feel so overwhelmed.

379
00:14:40,923 --> 00:14:42,590
Aren't we all, Mr.
Rollins, aren't we all?

380
00:14:42,591 --> 00:14:44,175
- Hey, man, I appreciate it.
- Mm-mm.

381
00:14:44,176 --> 00:14:45,552
- Yep, I shouldn't touch you.
- No.

382
00:14:45,553 --> 00:14:48,222
Okay.

383
00:14:49,431 --> 00:14:50,683
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.

384
00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:56,938
- Mr. Herman, how are you?
- Hey, doc.

385
00:14:56,939 --> 00:14:59,024
Go on back,
good to see you, pal.

386
00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:06,005
Okay.

387
00:15:37,313 --> 00:15:38,980
Ball one.

388
00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:40,440
One away, second and eight.

389
00:15:40,441 --> 00:15:41,983
Red Sox, two, Mets, nothing.

390
00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:43,611
On deck, Ray Knight.

391
00:15:48,157 --> 00:15:51,118
God, I can't believe this.

392
00:15:54,830 --> 00:15:56,998
Give me a break.

393
00:15:59,335 --> 00:16:00,543
I'm so nervous.

394
00:16:00,544 --> 00:16:04,422
It's just that I've never been around a...

395
00:16:04,423 --> 00:16:06,966
I mean, I've never even had a
pet sort of thing, you know,

396
00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:08,343
always seemed like such a hassle.

397
00:16:08,344 --> 00:16:10,887
- You know, feeding 'em.
- Scotty.

398
00:16:10,888 --> 00:16:12,180
Dinner.

399
00:16:12,181 --> 00:16:13,015
All right.

400
00:16:13,016 --> 00:16:14,432
Try to be careful.

401
00:16:27,237 --> 00:16:29,113
Hi, this is Adam, I
can't make it to the phone.

402
00:16:29,114 --> 00:16:30,240
Please leave a message.

403
00:16:31,241 --> 00:16:33,368
Hey, Adam, it's me.

404
00:16:33,369 --> 00:16:34,953
Yeah, I'm sitting at home
tonight and guess what's

405
00:16:34,954 --> 00:16:39,917
on the TV, the 1986 World Series, right?

406
00:16:40,084 --> 00:16:42,085
Mets versus the Red Sox, remember?

407
00:16:42,086 --> 00:16:44,045
We watched like every game together.

408
00:16:44,046 --> 00:16:49,009
You were like five and you
loved that pitcher, Ron Darling.

409
00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:52,136
Oh, and I made my famous
blueberry pancakes.

410
00:16:52,137 --> 00:16:53,055
Yeah.

411
00:16:53,056 --> 00:16:54,514
Remember how when we went camping,

412
00:16:54,515 --> 00:16:57,684
I always used to make
the blueberry pancakes

413
00:16:57,685 --> 00:17:00,019
that somehow would always
seem like it was raining?

414
00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:00,854
Remember that?

415
00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:01,689
Oh god.

416
00:17:01,690 --> 00:17:04,273
You and your sister just
loved those pancakes.

417
00:17:04,274 --> 00:17:06,192
Anyway--
Message length exceeded.

418
00:17:24,378 --> 00:17:26,212
Hi, this is Adam, I
can't make it to the phone.

419
00:17:26,213 --> 00:17:27,381
Please leave a message.

420
00:17:28,298 --> 00:17:29,882
I know you're not gonna call me back.

421
00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:31,676
But I have to say it.

422
00:17:31,677 --> 00:17:33,428
Please, call me back.

423
00:17:33,429 --> 00:17:35,722
I mean, your sister gets
on the phone when I call

424
00:17:35,723 --> 00:17:37,932
and, you know, sometimes she'll humor me

425
00:17:37,933 --> 00:17:40,768
and we'll stay on for
like 10 minutes or so,

426
00:17:40,769 --> 00:17:42,438
you know, if you can imagine that.

427
00:17:43,772 --> 00:17:45,982
That's really all I'm looking for.

428
00:17:45,983 --> 00:17:48,610
You know, just a couple of minutes.

429
00:17:50,279 --> 00:17:52,655
But if you wanna keep playing
this game of phone chicken,

430
00:17:52,656 --> 00:17:54,115
then I'm in.

431
00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:58,828
I'll call you, you'll ignore me.

432
00:17:58,829 --> 00:18:01,914
And then we'll see which
one of us gives in first.

433
00:18:01,915 --> 00:18:04,167
So anyway--
Message length exceeded.

434
00:18:18,307 --> 00:18:19,141
This is nice.

435
00:18:19,142 --> 00:18:20,516
Isn't this nice?

436
00:18:20,517 --> 00:18:22,101
Damn good yard bird, Jeanine.

437
00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:24,312
No, I mean the whole family's here.

438
00:18:24,313 --> 00:18:26,355
Both my little birdies in the nest.

439
00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:28,691
Do you know, I read
somewhere that if a bird stays

440
00:18:28,692 --> 00:18:30,985
in the nest, it means
it has mental problems.

441
00:18:30,986 --> 00:18:33,613
That's how you can tell if
a bird isn't gonna make it.

442
00:18:33,614 --> 00:18:34,864
Well, that's interesting.

443
00:18:34,865 --> 00:18:35,699
I thought so too, Mom.

444
00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:37,617
- You know what I read?
- You can read?

445
00:18:37,618 --> 00:18:39,660
Oh my god, that's such a funny joke.

446
00:18:39,661 --> 00:18:41,120
You should tell it again
for your number one fan

447
00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:42,663
who's sitting right here, your mother.

448
00:18:42,664 --> 00:18:44,749
I'm not ashamed that my
mom is my number one fan.

449
00:18:44,750 --> 00:18:46,250
Only fan, by the way.

450
00:18:46,251 --> 00:18:47,919
We're having a, stop it, stop it.

451
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:49,462
Okay, okay, okay, okay, can we just--

452
00:18:49,463 --> 00:18:50,923
Stop it, both of you.

453
00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:01,350
I was wondering if it's okay

454
00:19:01,351 --> 00:19:03,976
if Ruis comes over for
dinner next weekend.

455
00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:05,103
Absolutely.

456
00:19:05,104 --> 00:19:06,646
Ruis is awesome.

457
00:19:06,647 --> 00:19:07,481
That can't be true.

458
00:19:07,482 --> 00:19:08,648
How do you know if it's true or not?

459
00:19:08,649 --> 00:19:09,483
You've never even met him.

460
00:19:09,483 --> 00:19:10,317
I don't need to meet him

461
00:19:10,318 --> 00:19:11,651
because I've met all
your other boyfriends.

462
00:19:11,652 --> 00:19:14,570
Remember the guy whose job
it was to play online poker?

463
00:19:14,571 --> 00:19:16,572
Or do you remember the guy
who always wore jean shorts?

464
00:19:16,573 --> 00:19:19,700
Every single, Mom, every single
day, he wore jean shorts.

465
00:19:19,701 --> 00:19:22,411
Do you remember the one
that looked like Kid Rock?

466
00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:23,871
He didn't look anything like Kid Rock.

467
00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:25,581
I apologize, he looked
like Uncle Kracker.

468
00:19:25,582 --> 00:19:26,458
See?

469
00:19:26,459 --> 00:19:29,585
Even Dad and Mom liked that,
my number one fan is laughing.

470
00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:31,337
- Thank you, Mom.
- Whatever.

471
00:19:31,338 --> 00:19:32,922
- He did.
- Ruis is awesome.

472
00:19:32,923 --> 00:19:34,340
- Eat a dick.
- Wow.

473
00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:35,800
Meg, language.

474
00:19:35,801 --> 00:19:38,219
Scotty, we do not make fun of Ruis.

475
00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:39,054
Really?

476
00:19:39,055 --> 00:19:40,221
That's a rule in this house now?

477
00:19:40,222 --> 00:19:42,223
We can't use Ruis's name in vain?

478
00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:43,975
What is he, Voldemort?

479
00:19:43,976 --> 00:19:45,143
He's awesome.

480
00:19:45,144 --> 00:19:46,244
Thank you, Dad.

481
00:19:50,524 --> 00:19:53,901
Oh, Scotty, did you
hear about Rory Seidel?

482
00:19:53,902 --> 00:19:55,528
Who's Rory Seidel?

483
00:19:55,529 --> 00:19:56,779
You went to school with him.

484
00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:58,906
He used to work at Carvel's, remember?

485
00:19:58,907 --> 00:19:59,867
Yes.

486
00:19:59,868 --> 00:20:01,951
I remember Rory, that fucking weirdo.

487
00:20:01,952 --> 00:20:02,911
Why, what happened?

488
00:20:02,912 --> 00:20:04,745
He died.

489
00:20:04,746 --> 00:20:06,790
It's so sad, he was only 32.

490
00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:09,918
God, I remember that guy.

491
00:20:12,129 --> 00:20:14,213
Weren't you friends with him?

492
00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:16,925
I wasn't friends with
him, no, but Becky was.

493
00:20:56,048 --> 00:20:57,632
Pst, hey, Rollins, right?

494
00:20:57,633 --> 00:20:58,467
Rollins.

495
00:20:58,467 --> 00:20:59,551
Hey, how you doing?

496
00:20:59,551 --> 00:21:00,552
Are you everywhere?

497
00:21:00,552 --> 00:21:01,652
I get around.

498
00:21:02,471 --> 00:21:03,571
What are you doing here?

499
00:21:05,140 --> 00:21:06,600
Honestly, I don't even know.

500
00:21:09,102 --> 00:21:09,937
What?

501
00:21:09,938 --> 00:21:11,771
- You killed Rory.
- I didn't kill Rory.

502
00:21:11,772 --> 00:21:13,105
That's why you were stressed.

503
00:21:13,106 --> 00:21:14,107
What are you doing?

504
00:21:14,108 --> 00:21:15,316
That's your hand on his shoulder

505
00:21:15,317 --> 00:21:16,734
right before you strangled him.

506
00:21:16,735 --> 00:21:18,820
Rory died of, don't,
he died of leukemia.

507
00:21:22,658 --> 00:21:23,866
Are you high?

508
00:21:23,867 --> 00:21:25,534
Yeah.

509
00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:28,387
And why are you here?

510
00:21:29,289 --> 00:21:30,748
Rory went to school with my kid.

511
00:21:30,749 --> 00:21:32,041
Oh, the divorcee with stress hives.

512
00:21:32,042 --> 00:21:33,626
No, my other one.

513
00:21:33,627 --> 00:21:35,670
My son.

514
00:21:35,671 --> 00:21:37,421
Speaking of which, how are they doing?

515
00:21:37,422 --> 00:21:39,006
- You wanna see?
- Yeah.

516
00:21:39,007 --> 00:21:41,175
- In a church?
- Yeah, yes, sir.

517
00:21:41,176 --> 00:21:42,010
Fading already.

518
00:21:42,010 --> 00:21:43,095
Who's better than me?

519
00:21:43,095 --> 00:21:44,195
Nobody.

520
00:21:56,233 --> 00:21:58,651
Why do they call it a wake anyway?

521
00:21:58,652 --> 00:21:59,569
What do you mean?

522
00:21:59,570 --> 00:22:02,072
Well, it's not like
Rory's waking anytime soon.

523
00:22:02,990 --> 00:22:05,116
Oh, but if he got up, if
he got up right this second,

524
00:22:05,117 --> 00:22:06,742
then we can call it a wake.

525
00:22:06,743 --> 00:22:09,412
Yeah, that's Rory, the reawakening.

526
00:22:09,413 --> 00:22:10,913
Will you two please shut up?

527
00:22:10,914 --> 00:22:12,540
Yes, I apologize.

528
00:22:12,541 --> 00:22:13,791
You stink of marijuana.

529
00:22:13,792 --> 00:22:14,626
Oh, it's not me, it's him.

530
00:22:14,627 --> 00:22:16,585
It is not me, you know it's him.

531
00:22:16,586 --> 00:22:18,045
He's wearing a fedora.

532
00:22:20,757 --> 00:22:21,857
Shit.

533
00:22:27,180 --> 00:22:28,931
What's the matter?

534
00:22:28,932 --> 00:22:31,058
I shouldn't be here,
I shouldn't be here.

535
00:22:31,059 --> 00:22:32,518
- Oh god, are you okay?
- Nana Marie.

536
00:22:32,519 --> 00:22:33,353
I'm sorry, are you okay?

537
00:22:33,354 --> 00:22:35,813
Hey, hey, go, just go, just go, go.

538
00:22:35,814 --> 00:22:36,648
- Thanks.
- Go.

539
00:22:36,648 --> 00:22:37,482
Ma'am, are you okay?

540
00:22:37,482 --> 00:22:38,317
Get away from me.

541
00:22:38,318 --> 00:22:39,900
Get your filthy hands off of her.

542
00:22:39,901 --> 00:22:41,027
I'm just trying to help her.

543
00:22:41,028 --> 00:22:42,821
I'm not playing grab-ass or anything.

544
00:22:55,709 --> 00:22:56,876
You okay, Rollins?

545
00:22:56,877 --> 00:22:58,544
Yeah, yeah, how is the woman?

546
00:22:58,545 --> 00:22:59,712
Oh, the one you body slammed?

547
00:22:59,713 --> 00:23:00,547
Yes.

548
00:23:00,547 --> 00:23:01,423
That's a flagrant two, by the way.

549
00:23:01,423 --> 00:23:02,257
Okay, what happened to her?

550
00:23:02,258 --> 00:23:03,382
Uh, broken clavicle.

551
00:23:03,383 --> 00:23:05,426
- Are you serious?
- No, she's fine.

552
00:23:05,427 --> 00:23:06,527
I'm just kidding.

553
00:23:07,304 --> 00:23:08,471
Thank you, by the way.

554
00:23:08,472 --> 00:23:09,264
You don't have to follow me out,

555
00:23:09,264 --> 00:23:10,140
man, you can go back inside.

556
00:23:10,141 --> 00:23:11,682
- No, actually I can't.
- Why?

557
00:23:11,683 --> 00:23:14,226
Because I was properly identified.

558
00:23:14,227 --> 00:23:15,519
By who?

559
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:16,771
My son.

560
00:23:16,772 --> 00:23:20,232
Oh, this is so wonderful.

561
00:23:20,233 --> 00:23:21,901
This means you're a wake crasher too.

562
00:23:21,902 --> 00:23:23,402
Well, I was gonna talk to him

563
00:23:23,403 --> 00:23:27,656
after he paid his proper
respects, but it's a long story.

564
00:23:27,657 --> 00:23:29,658
- Right?
- So, short answer,

565
00:23:29,659 --> 00:23:31,786
I am also a wake crasher.

566
00:23:31,787 --> 00:23:33,789
- Come on.
- Yeah, let's get outta here.

567
00:23:35,207 --> 00:23:37,209
- Don't look back.
- Yeah, I'm, I'm, yeah.

568
00:23:38,460 --> 00:23:39,836
Did you even know Rory?

569
00:23:40,921 --> 00:23:43,464
Not enough to have been there, no.

570
00:23:43,465 --> 00:23:46,550
I mean, I knew of him, but I
knew that she knew him, so...

571
00:23:46,551 --> 00:23:48,762
Oh, so you were just
there to see the girl.

572
00:23:49,721 --> 00:23:50,639
Yeah.

573
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:52,765
Yeah, let me guess, your ex,

574
00:23:52,766 --> 00:23:54,767
the one that got away, that old classic?

575
00:23:55,603 --> 00:23:58,187
No, the one I ran away from.

576
00:23:58,188 --> 00:23:59,022
Oh, the remix.

577
00:23:59,022 --> 00:23:59,940
Oh, you've heard of the remix?

578
00:23:59,941 --> 00:24:01,857
Oh, so you're trying
to get back together,

579
00:24:01,858 --> 00:24:04,902
or are you just a good
old-fashioned stalker?

580
00:24:04,903 --> 00:24:06,904
I honestly don't even know.

581
00:24:06,905 --> 00:24:07,906
It might be the latter,

582
00:24:07,907 --> 00:24:09,991
which is really scaring
the shit out of me.

583
00:24:11,660 --> 00:24:12,952
Now, how old are you?

584
00:24:12,953 --> 00:24:13,787
Why?

585
00:24:13,788 --> 00:24:15,329
You're way too young
to be this defeated.

586
00:24:15,330 --> 00:24:17,289
Tony, two Jagerbombs, please.

587
00:24:17,290 --> 00:24:18,457
- Jagerbombs.
- Oh yes.

588
00:24:18,458 --> 00:24:20,835
- How old are you?
- 65, thank you very much.

589
00:24:21,921 --> 00:24:23,337
You know what, maybe
I should find a girl

590
00:24:23,338 --> 00:24:24,672
with daddy issues, what do you think?

591
00:24:24,673 --> 00:24:26,799
Oo, probably more
like granddaddy issues,

592
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:27,843
what do you think about that?

593
00:24:27,844 --> 00:24:29,135
Oh, that's funny.

594
00:24:29,136 --> 00:24:30,236
Well, I'm a comedian.

595
00:24:31,638 --> 00:24:33,264
Really?

596
00:24:33,265 --> 00:24:34,224
Why do you say it like that?

597
00:24:34,224 --> 00:24:35,058
Well, I don't get that from you.

598
00:24:35,059 --> 00:24:36,267
What do you get from me then?

599
00:24:36,268 --> 00:24:37,977
I get an insurance adjuster.

600
00:24:37,978 --> 00:24:38,812
No.

601
00:24:38,813 --> 00:24:40,896
I get a car salesman
at a Kia dealership.

602
00:24:40,897 --> 00:24:41,898
Oh wow, thank you.

603
00:24:41,899 --> 00:24:45,860
- I get a dog walker.
- A dog walker?

604
00:24:45,861 --> 00:24:48,362
I get fundraiser for.

605
00:24:48,363 --> 00:24:49,239
Fine, I could be a fundraiser

606
00:24:49,239 --> 00:24:50,339
for.

607
00:24:51,117 --> 00:24:52,408
No, you're just cynical as shit.

608
00:24:52,409 --> 00:24:53,909
You're morose even, you know?

609
00:24:53,910 --> 00:24:55,286
Hey, you want some real jokes?

610
00:24:55,287 --> 00:24:56,246
Yeah.

611
00:24:56,247 --> 00:24:57,830
My Twitter account.

612
00:24:57,831 --> 00:24:59,707
- DermatolOG.
- Thank you.

613
00:24:59,708 --> 00:25:00,750
Nicely done.

614
00:25:00,751 --> 00:25:03,002
You have over 12,000 followers?

615
00:25:03,003 --> 00:25:03,837
That's me.

616
00:25:03,837 --> 00:25:04,754
And you're verified?

617
00:25:04,754 --> 00:25:05,630
Is that what that blue check mark means?

618
00:25:05,631 --> 00:25:08,466
You know what that
blue check mark means.

619
00:25:08,467 --> 00:25:11,760
When I die, I want someone
to take over my account

620
00:25:11,761 --> 00:25:14,806
and tweet boo, motherfuckers,
every month or so.

621
00:25:15,807 --> 00:25:17,308
This is actually, that's actually...

622
00:25:18,269 --> 00:25:20,060
That's actually pretty amazing.

623
00:25:20,061 --> 00:25:21,562
Well, I'm a good follow, man.

624
00:25:21,563 --> 00:25:23,439
No, no, listen, I'm
serious about that too.

625
00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:27,526
So, if you're interested,
doctorsmooooth@aol.com,

626
00:25:27,527 --> 00:25:29,904
- that's four Os, thank you.
- Wow, aol.com.

627
00:25:29,905 --> 00:25:31,655
You really are 65.

628
00:25:31,656 --> 00:25:33,158
What's your password, password?

629
00:25:36,703 --> 00:25:37,537
No.

630
00:25:37,537 --> 00:25:38,637
It's email.

631
00:25:40,290 --> 00:25:43,751
The password for your email is email?

632
00:25:43,752 --> 00:25:45,044
Yeah, I live on the edge, man.

633
00:25:45,045 --> 00:25:46,712
Anything to throw off those Russians.

634
00:25:46,713 --> 00:25:47,963
- Oh my god.
- All right.

635
00:25:47,964 --> 00:25:50,174
Here it is, mother's milk for the soul.

636
00:25:50,175 --> 00:25:51,009
- Ready?
- Yeah, how do you do it?

637
00:25:51,010 --> 00:25:52,843
You just drop it in or...

638
00:25:52,844 --> 00:25:54,929
You've never done a Jagerbomb before?

639
00:25:54,930 --> 00:25:56,430
Seeing as I'm not a 19
year old sorority girl,

640
00:25:56,431 --> 00:25:57,973
no, I've never done a--
So cynical.

641
00:25:57,974 --> 00:25:59,017
I'm not trying, just tell me.

642
00:25:59,017 --> 00:25:59,851
What do you do, do you drop
it in or what do you do?

643
00:25:59,852 --> 00:26:01,852
You drop it
in, drink right away.

644
00:26:01,853 --> 00:26:02,938
- Right away?
- Yeah.

645
00:26:02,939 --> 00:26:04,230
I can't drink fast, you sure?

646
00:26:04,231 --> 00:26:05,648
Ready, boom.

647
00:26:06,484 --> 00:26:08,109
Up, in, now.

648
00:26:18,203 --> 00:26:19,037
I don't wanna.

649
00:26:19,037 --> 00:26:20,080
Oh, come on.

650
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:20,914
It's good for you.

651
00:26:20,915 --> 00:26:22,082
Come on, oh, come on.

652
00:26:24,876 --> 00:26:26,002
That took way too long.

653
00:26:27,003 --> 00:26:28,103
And?

654
00:26:31,132 --> 00:26:32,509
That was a tasty beverage.

655
00:26:33,802 --> 00:26:34,927
That was really fucking good.

656
00:26:34,928 --> 00:26:37,930
You see, if there's one
thing I know about, it's booze.

657
00:26:37,931 --> 00:26:39,306
Not dermatological advice?

658
00:26:39,307 --> 00:26:40,225
Oh fuck no.

659
00:26:40,226 --> 00:26:41,809
Tony, two more, two more.

660
00:26:41,810 --> 00:26:43,435
Absolutely not, Tony.

661
00:26:43,436 --> 00:26:44,271
I've gotta go home.

662
00:26:44,271 --> 00:26:45,313
Who cares about your home?

663
00:26:45,314 --> 00:26:47,189
Long Island people are
fantastic at drinking

664
00:26:47,190 --> 00:26:48,524
like it's their last day on earth.

665
00:26:48,525 --> 00:26:50,526
Drink up, you wake-crashing
son of a bitch.

666
00:26:50,527 --> 00:26:51,694
Let's go, bombs away.

667
00:26:51,695 --> 00:26:54,280
- Yee.
- Yeah, there you go.

668
00:26:54,281 --> 00:26:55,115
Drop.

669
00:26:55,116 --> 00:26:56,448
You don't even count down?

670
00:26:56,449 --> 00:26:58,158
Hoist, come on, boom.

671
00:26:58,159 --> 00:26:59,410
- Up yours.
- What?

672
00:27:00,745 --> 00:27:02,288
Oo, for the win.

673
00:27:02,289 --> 00:27:04,456
Eight ball in the corner
pocket, all right?

674
00:27:04,457 --> 00:27:06,625
Eight ball, don't be
afraid of the dark, baby.

675
00:27:06,626 --> 00:27:08,294
- Take us home, Marty.
- Mm-hmm.

676
00:27:08,295 --> 00:27:11,714
And if I make it, you
have to go out with me.

677
00:27:11,715 --> 00:27:15,051
Oh, I told you, I'm married.

678
00:27:15,969 --> 00:27:18,971
What, to that idea, to the
thing I just came up with?

679
00:27:18,972 --> 00:27:20,889
You know, I love her enthusiasm.

680
00:27:20,890 --> 00:27:22,558
Come on, I'm fun.

681
00:27:22,559 --> 00:27:24,101
- I'm a lot of fun.
- Okay.

682
00:27:24,102 --> 00:27:26,103
- Yeah, all right.
- Believe in yourself.

683
00:27:26,104 --> 00:27:28,522
- Woo.
- Breathe in.

684
00:27:28,523 --> 00:27:30,567
Yeah, I'm good.

685
00:27:32,402 --> 00:27:34,279
How do you scratch...

686
00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:36,447
You scratched on the eight,

687
00:27:36,448 --> 00:27:38,991
you scratched on the eight ball though.

688
00:27:40,994 --> 00:27:42,745
A pleasure, a pleasure.

689
00:27:42,746 --> 00:27:43,580
Very good game.

690
00:27:43,580 --> 00:27:44,414
I'm so sorry.

691
00:27:44,415 --> 00:27:46,332
Listen, it was a honor to lose to you.

692
00:27:46,333 --> 00:27:47,708
Thank you so much, it was so much fun.

693
00:27:47,709 --> 00:27:48,543
Vanessa, right?

694
00:27:48,544 --> 00:27:51,253
You know, oh god, can I buy you a drink?

695
00:27:51,254 --> 00:27:52,339
Or a car, or a condo.

696
00:27:52,340 --> 00:27:54,214
That's a lot, that's a
lot, take it down a notch.

697
00:27:54,215 --> 00:27:55,050
Take it down a notch.

698
00:27:55,050 --> 00:27:56,092
The four of us could live together.

699
00:27:56,093 --> 00:27:57,718
- We'd be great.
- We gotta go.

700
00:27:57,719 --> 00:27:58,553
You see?

701
00:27:58,553 --> 00:27:59,387
That's the story of my life.

702
00:27:59,387 --> 00:28:00,347
The good ones just always go.

703
00:28:00,348 --> 00:28:02,473
- So go, please.
- Your dad's a charmer.

704
00:28:02,474 --> 00:28:03,516
Apparently, right?

705
00:28:03,517 --> 00:28:05,434
Okay, all right, bye.

706
00:28:05,435 --> 00:28:06,478
Don't you wanna walk them out, Dad?

707
00:28:06,478 --> 00:28:07,437
Yeah, you know, actually, I do.

708
00:28:07,437 --> 00:28:08,271
I bet you do.

709
00:28:08,272 --> 00:28:09,396
Yeah, hey, girls, girls.

710
00:28:09,397 --> 00:28:12,107
Would you do me a favor and
just call me when you get home,

711
00:28:12,108 --> 00:28:13,525
'cause you know how I worry.

712
00:28:15,570 --> 00:28:17,404
Oh, you know, what did I tell you guys?

713
00:28:17,405 --> 00:28:19,073
Oh, Marty, not again, man.

714
00:28:19,074 --> 00:28:20,741
You know, if you're gonna
pump money into that machine,

715
00:28:20,742 --> 00:28:22,534
you might as well play the original stuff.

716
00:28:22,535 --> 00:28:23,952
What's the original stuff?

717
00:28:23,953 --> 00:28:25,412
You don't know?

718
00:28:25,413 --> 00:28:26,247
He don't know.

719
00:28:26,248 --> 00:28:27,414
Here we go.

720
00:28:27,415 --> 00:28:29,083
Hip hop, rap, all comes

721
00:28:29,084 --> 00:28:31,543
from the same thing, jazz and soul.

722
00:28:31,544 --> 00:28:32,629
All right, I'll play a little

723
00:28:32,630 --> 00:28:33,754
Sly and the Family Stone next.

724
00:28:33,755 --> 00:28:34,589
Take me higher.

725
00:28:34,590 --> 00:28:36,840
- Look at this.
- Grandpa knows his shit.

726
00:28:36,841 --> 00:28:38,384
Hey, first of all, I am a grandpa.

727
00:28:38,385 --> 00:28:40,302
And second, I do know my shit.

728
00:28:41,763 --> 00:28:42,847
Hey, these are my nephews.

729
00:28:42,848 --> 00:28:44,098
This is Xavier.

730
00:28:44,099 --> 00:28:45,349
Rocket ship.

731
00:28:45,350 --> 00:28:46,434
Boo, and this is Aaron.

732
00:28:46,435 --> 00:28:47,685
Yeah, all right.

733
00:28:47,686 --> 00:28:49,061
It's nice to meet you guys.

734
00:28:49,062 --> 00:28:50,187
Nice to meet you too, man.

735
00:28:50,188 --> 00:28:52,356
We're not really his nephews.

736
00:28:52,357 --> 00:28:53,482
No, I figured, I mean.

737
00:28:53,483 --> 00:28:54,484
Why did you tell him?

738
00:28:54,484 --> 00:28:55,318
He was gonna find out.

739
00:28:55,319 --> 00:28:56,610
He was not gonna find out.

740
00:28:56,611 --> 00:28:58,697
He's a mil--
Here, here, here, here.

741
00:29:00,323 --> 00:29:02,366
So you found out about the wake

742
00:29:02,367 --> 00:29:04,410
on Facebook and crashed it?

743
00:29:04,411 --> 00:29:05,661
It wasn't just me, it was him too.

744
00:29:05,662 --> 00:29:06,870
Just a little bit.

745
00:29:06,871 --> 00:29:08,706
Facebook's messed up like that, man.

746
00:29:08,707 --> 00:29:09,957
I mean, too much information can

747
00:29:09,958 --> 00:29:11,375
be a bad thing, you know what I mean?

748
00:29:11,376 --> 00:29:12,543
Man, screw social media.

749
00:29:12,544 --> 00:29:14,044
Screw social media is right.

750
00:29:14,045 --> 00:29:16,422
Facebook as an adult is
all like political rants.

751
00:29:16,423 --> 00:29:17,923
It's just so fucking stupid.

752
00:29:17,924 --> 00:29:19,508
People checking in everywhere they go

753
00:29:19,509 --> 00:29:20,801
like anyone gives a fuck.

754
00:29:20,802 --> 00:29:23,095
And those damn inspirational quotes.

755
00:29:23,096 --> 00:29:24,847
Oh my god, 'cause that's what I need.

756
00:29:24,848 --> 00:29:26,724
Someone I haven't heard
from since the 10th grade

757
00:29:26,725 --> 00:29:28,767
tell me to dance like nobody's watching.

758
00:29:28,768 --> 00:29:30,811
Come on, like, you know what I'm saying?

759
00:29:30,812 --> 00:29:32,354
Wait, what about the baby pictures?

760
00:29:32,355 --> 00:29:33,189
That's all I ever see.

761
00:29:33,190 --> 00:29:35,607
Don't get me started on baby pictures.

762
00:29:35,608 --> 00:29:37,109
You're proud of your baby, I get it,

763
00:29:37,110 --> 00:29:38,986
but unless your kid is riding a motorcycle

764
00:29:38,987 --> 00:29:41,488
through like a flaming
hoop or is the new drummer

765
00:29:41,489 --> 00:29:44,408
for Van Halen, I don't need
to see four pictures a day.

766
00:29:44,409 --> 00:29:45,285
You get one.

767
00:29:45,286 --> 00:29:47,536
Everybody gets one baby
picture and that's it.

768
00:29:47,537 --> 00:29:51,248
Van fucking Halen.

769
00:29:51,249 --> 00:29:52,916
- My man.
- That is the whitest

770
00:29:52,917 --> 00:29:54,585
goddamn reference I've
heard in a long time.

771
00:29:54,586 --> 00:29:56,128
Do you wanna hear white?

772
00:29:56,129 --> 00:29:58,672
Today, I spent an hour
downloading NPR podcasts

773
00:29:58,673 --> 00:29:59,507
in a Jamba Juice.

774
00:29:59,508 --> 00:30:01,092
- So...
- Wow.

775
00:30:02,260 --> 00:30:03,927
Ladies and gentlemen, step right up

776
00:30:03,928 --> 00:30:06,054
and meet the whitest
motherfucker in the world.

777
00:30:06,055 --> 00:30:07,639
Hello, everybody.

778
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:11,435
I once bought a Bon Iver
album in a Whole Foods.

779
00:30:11,436 --> 00:30:12,536
Give me some more.

780
00:30:13,354 --> 00:30:15,440
Mm, come on, be a man.

781
00:30:17,567 --> 00:30:21,404
There you go, there you go, there you go.

782
00:30:22,947 --> 00:30:24,656
I really needed this.

783
00:30:24,657 --> 00:30:26,116
Why is that?

784
00:30:26,117 --> 00:30:28,577
I just haven't been out
much since I've been back.

785
00:30:28,578 --> 00:30:30,370
All my friends have adult lives.

786
00:30:30,371 --> 00:30:31,872
It's such a mind-fuck.

787
00:30:31,873 --> 00:30:32,973
Yeah, well...

788
00:30:36,503 --> 00:30:40,714
The older you get, the
less friends you have.

789
00:30:40,715 --> 00:30:43,091
I just feel like I would have
my life figured out by now.

790
00:30:43,092 --> 00:30:44,551
I mean, all my friends do.

791
00:30:44,552 --> 00:30:46,261
Let me tell you something about life,

792
00:30:46,262 --> 00:30:47,763
nobody has their shit figured out.

793
00:30:47,764 --> 00:30:49,723
Everybody moves at their own speed.

794
00:30:49,724 --> 00:30:53,018
I understand that, but I
just fucking regret the way--

795
00:30:53,019 --> 00:30:53,895
Something about the blonde?

796
00:30:53,895 --> 00:30:54,979
Yes, yes, yes.

797
00:30:54,980 --> 00:30:57,314
Because when I left, she
said that I was the one.

798
00:30:57,315 --> 00:30:58,149
Those were her words.

799
00:30:58,150 --> 00:31:01,151
She told all my friends,
she said that I was the one.

800
00:31:01,152 --> 00:31:02,778
I hear you, I hear you, and that's cool.

801
00:31:02,779 --> 00:31:05,572
But maybe she wasn't the one for you.

802
00:31:05,573 --> 00:31:06,407
You know?

803
00:31:06,408 --> 00:31:07,908
'Cause sometimes those
things don't always line up.

804
00:31:07,909 --> 00:31:10,494
That's why the good lord gave
us weed and booze, you know?

805
00:31:10,495 --> 00:31:12,830
They're numbing agents against regret,

806
00:31:12,831 --> 00:31:16,251
because regret is real.

807
00:31:17,544 --> 00:31:19,586
It's one of the few things
in the world that is.

808
00:31:19,587 --> 00:31:20,421
How so?

809
00:31:20,422 --> 00:31:21,880
What does that even mean?

810
00:31:21,881 --> 00:31:25,259
It means that happiness fades, okay?

811
00:31:25,260 --> 00:31:29,012
And sadness dulls over time,
it just does every time.

812
00:31:29,013 --> 00:31:32,724
But regret, that shit is real, man.

813
00:31:32,725 --> 00:31:33,852
That shit lingers.

814
00:31:38,773 --> 00:31:43,736
I saw a little hint of the
comedian back at the bar.

815
00:31:44,737 --> 00:31:45,822
You were funny, man,
you were really funny.

816
00:31:45,823 --> 00:31:48,198
- Nah, come on.
- No, it's cool.

817
00:31:48,199 --> 00:31:49,449
You gonna be working anytime soon?

818
00:31:49,450 --> 00:31:50,951
'Cause I would come and check you out.

819
00:31:50,952 --> 00:31:52,452
Oh no.

820
00:31:52,453 --> 00:31:53,745
I'm not feeling really funny lately.

821
00:31:53,746 --> 00:31:56,081
Oh, too bad.

822
00:31:56,082 --> 00:31:57,499
It's a Tuesday night and
you're a little drunk

823
00:31:57,500 --> 00:31:59,668
and you're smoking dope
with your dermatologist,

824
00:31:59,669 --> 00:32:00,769
you should...

825
00:32:01,589 --> 00:32:03,297
You should write that shit down.

826
00:32:03,298 --> 00:32:06,174
Write that shit down, I'd pay to see that.

827
00:32:06,175 --> 00:32:07,801
I don't talk about my personal life.

828
00:32:07,802 --> 00:32:10,346
I do more like jokes and bits.

829
00:32:12,098 --> 00:32:12,932
Jokes and bits?

830
00:32:12,933 --> 00:32:14,892
Yeah, jokes and, why are
you looking at me like that?

831
00:32:14,893 --> 00:32:15,768
I don't know what that is.

832
00:32:15,769 --> 00:32:19,146
I get on the stage and
I tell, I say funny words.

833
00:32:19,147 --> 00:32:20,523
- Funny words?
- Yeah.

834
00:32:21,608 --> 00:32:22,442
All right.

835
00:32:22,443 --> 00:32:23,859
You know, the guys I like the
best are the guys who are real

836
00:32:23,860 --> 00:32:26,612
that talk about real stuff
in their life, you know?

837
00:32:26,613 --> 00:32:28,572
The real guys are the
ones that you remember.

838
00:32:30,575 --> 00:32:31,950
Why don't you talk about your real life?

839
00:32:31,951 --> 00:32:34,411
- I don't really have a life.
- That's hilarious.

840
00:32:34,412 --> 00:32:35,330
That's not supposed to be funny.

841
00:32:35,331 --> 00:32:36,622
- That's hilarious.
- That's sad and depressing.

842
00:32:36,623 --> 00:32:37,540
Don't laugh at that.

843
00:32:37,541 --> 00:32:40,500
And you're laughing that
I'm a fucking loser.

844
00:32:40,501 --> 00:32:42,461
What about you, what about you, huh?

845
00:32:42,462 --> 00:32:43,296
What, what about me?

846
00:32:43,297 --> 00:32:45,464
Was the big dream to be
a suburban dermatologist?

847
00:32:45,465 --> 00:32:47,174
No, no no no no no.

848
00:32:47,175 --> 00:32:50,344
I started out in medicine,
in general medicine.

849
00:32:50,345 --> 00:32:51,470
I was gonna be a surgeon.

850
00:32:51,471 --> 00:32:55,015
I was a resident at St. Anthony's
in Bethpage, Long Island.

851
00:32:55,016 --> 00:32:57,143
Dude, that's where I was born.

852
00:32:58,061 --> 00:33:00,437
I thought you looked familiar.

853
00:33:00,438 --> 00:33:01,272
You see this face?

854
00:33:01,273 --> 00:33:02,689
It was that newborn
with that head of hair.

855
00:33:02,690 --> 00:33:03,524
That's me.

856
00:33:03,525 --> 00:33:05,318
I was all hair when I came out.

857
00:33:08,446 --> 00:33:12,866
No, I just had this
interesting epiphany.

858
00:33:12,867 --> 00:33:15,118
- I was terrified of blood.
- Jeez.

859
00:33:15,119 --> 00:33:16,703
Yeah, freaked me out.

860
00:33:16,704 --> 00:33:18,413
So I made a U-turn, went back to school,

861
00:33:18,414 --> 00:33:20,916
and reemerged as a doctor of de skin.

862
00:33:21,752 --> 00:33:23,961
And it was more mellow
and better for me.

863
00:33:23,962 --> 00:33:26,171
And at the time, I needed more structure,

864
00:33:26,172 --> 00:33:30,425
'cause I was living hard.

865
00:33:30,426 --> 00:33:32,302
I was running in the fast line.

866
00:33:32,303 --> 00:33:34,137
- Like a rolling stone.
- Yeah, like Keith Richards.

867
00:33:34,138 --> 00:33:35,639
- Like Keith Richards.
- Yeah, man.

868
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:36,599
It was...

869
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:41,062
And then my first wife died
and I needed to regroup and...

870
00:33:42,021 --> 00:33:43,647
I'm sorry about that,
man, I had no idea.

871
00:33:43,648 --> 00:33:45,857
Why would you, you know?

872
00:33:45,858 --> 00:33:50,362
I had a second wife and she died too.

873
00:33:50,363 --> 00:33:51,322
Jesus Christ.

874
00:33:51,323 --> 00:33:54,074
Yeah, yeah, but hey listen,
I'm not the Durst guy.

875
00:33:54,075 --> 00:33:55,450
You know, I'm not, no.

876
00:33:55,451 --> 00:33:58,996
Just, they were both different situations.

877
00:33:58,997 --> 00:34:00,373
But both, you know.

878
00:34:02,333 --> 00:34:03,918
But my second wife was a godsend.

879
00:34:05,545 --> 00:34:07,337
She just helped me.

880
00:34:07,338 --> 00:34:10,215
I really needed to tame
the beast, so to speak.

881
00:34:10,216 --> 00:34:11,316
And...

882
00:34:12,802 --> 00:34:15,470
Is that why your kid
didn't want to see you today?

883
00:34:15,471 --> 00:34:16,723
Wasn't a fan of the beast?

884
00:34:21,185 --> 00:34:23,229
No, he's not a fan of the beast.

885
00:34:26,399 --> 00:34:27,483
Yeah.

886
00:34:27,483 --> 00:34:28,276
Freeze.

887
00:34:28,277 --> 00:34:29,776
Stay where you are, the both of you.

888
00:34:29,777 --> 00:34:30,611
It's the cops.

889
00:34:30,611 --> 00:34:31,446
What should I do with the joint?

890
00:34:31,446 --> 00:34:32,363
- Should I eat it?
- Eat it?

891
00:34:32,363 --> 00:34:33,197
All right.

892
00:34:33,197 --> 00:34:34,073
No no no, what are you fucking doing?

893
00:34:34,074 --> 00:34:35,323
You just swallowed...

894
00:34:35,324 --> 00:34:36,159
I said it like a question.

895
00:34:36,159 --> 00:34:37,201
I said eat it?

896
00:34:37,202 --> 00:34:39,619
- Hands where I can see them.
- Yeah, yep.

897
00:34:39,620 --> 00:34:41,663
Act like you're not high.

898
00:34:41,664 --> 00:34:44,166
- Lower the window.
- Yeah, of course.

899
00:34:44,167 --> 00:34:45,542
Lower it down.

900
00:34:47,754 --> 00:34:49,629
- All the way down.
- It's just an old car.

901
00:34:49,630 --> 00:34:52,049
- All the way down.
- Here it comes.

902
00:34:52,050 --> 00:34:53,176
Here it comes.

903
00:34:54,927 --> 00:34:56,762
- Is that weed I smell?
- No.

904
00:34:56,763 --> 00:34:58,638
No, no no no no no.

905
00:34:58,639 --> 00:35:01,433
We're actually--

906
00:35:03,269 --> 00:35:04,353
I'm sorry.

907
00:35:04,353 --> 00:35:05,313
Why don't you shut your fucking mouth?

908
00:35:05,314 --> 00:35:06,688
You're right, we should
shut our fucking mouths.

909
00:35:06,689 --> 00:35:07,523
We should shut our fucking mouths.

910
00:35:07,523 --> 00:35:08,441
We should get the hell out of here.

911
00:35:08,442 --> 00:35:10,526
We shouldn't even be here to begin with.

912
00:35:12,403 --> 00:35:14,405
I am sorry, is your name Ruis?

913
00:35:15,323 --> 00:35:16,740
- Yes.
- Yes.

914
00:35:16,741 --> 00:35:19,993
Dude, Scott, I'm Meg's brother.

915
00:35:19,994 --> 00:35:22,287
- Wait, Scott?
- Yes, dude, Scott.

916
00:35:22,288 --> 00:35:23,747
- Hey, man, how you doing?
- What's up, brother?

917
00:35:23,748 --> 00:35:25,874
- I'm so happy to meet you.
- Good to meet you, man.

918
00:35:25,875 --> 00:35:27,292
- This is Marty.
- Oh hey.

919
00:35:27,293 --> 00:35:30,003
I'm sorry, Marty, how you doing?

920
00:35:30,004 --> 00:35:30,963
He swallowed his joint

921
00:35:30,964 --> 00:35:32,422
because we thought you were gonna kill us.

922
00:35:32,423 --> 00:35:33,523
I'll find it later.

923
00:35:38,971 --> 00:35:40,056
That's really good weed, Marty.

924
00:35:40,057 --> 00:35:42,724
Ruis, I gotta say,
the way you came at us,

925
00:35:42,725 --> 00:35:44,601
oo, I fucking loved it.

926
00:35:44,602 --> 00:35:46,228
- Pretty cool, right?
- Yes, very cool.

927
00:35:46,229 --> 00:35:47,329
It's kinda like hey.

928
00:35:48,606 --> 00:35:49,816
Shut your fucking mouth.

929
00:35:50,942 --> 00:35:52,567
That was scary.

930
00:35:52,568 --> 00:35:53,402
It's good, right?

931
00:35:53,403 --> 00:35:55,153
Yeah, that's pretty scary.

932
00:35:55,154 --> 00:35:57,447
- I try.
- Yeah, it's good.

933
00:35:57,448 --> 00:35:58,491
You guys should try it, man.

934
00:35:58,492 --> 00:35:59,741
Like, this whole the cop thing.

935
00:35:59,742 --> 00:36:00,867
It's really fun.

936
00:36:00,868 --> 00:36:04,579
Really, you know, brings it out, you know?

937
00:36:07,125 --> 00:36:09,459
Don't move a muscle, scumbag.

938
00:36:09,460 --> 00:36:10,710
Because if you move a muscle,

939
00:36:10,711 --> 00:36:12,712
I'ma shoot you in your asshole.

940
00:36:12,713 --> 00:36:13,548
- Yeah.
- Ow.

941
00:36:13,549 --> 00:36:15,048
Praying for your life
won't do you any good

942
00:36:15,049 --> 00:36:17,342
'cause right now, you're
looking into the eyes

943
00:36:17,343 --> 00:36:18,885
of the devil himself.

944
00:36:18,886 --> 00:36:20,762
- That's really good.
- Every duck has his limit.

945
00:36:20,763 --> 00:36:23,432
And you, scum, just
pushed me over the line.

946
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:25,434
Duck?

947
00:36:25,434 --> 00:36:26,269
You can use it if you want.

948
00:36:26,270 --> 00:36:28,311
But full disclosure, it is
from "Howard the Duck" so...

949
00:36:28,312 --> 00:36:29,313
That was cinema.

950
00:36:29,314 --> 00:36:31,314
- Oh, that's a good movie.
- Oh wow, oh wow.

951
00:36:31,315 --> 00:36:32,899
- I love that movie.
- I love that, yeah.

952
00:36:32,900 --> 00:36:35,360
It's insane, that's an Oscar film.

953
00:36:35,361 --> 00:36:36,320
So let me ask you something.

954
00:36:36,321 --> 00:36:38,280
Were you gonna arrest us?

955
00:36:38,281 --> 00:36:39,282
No, no.

956
00:36:39,283 --> 00:36:40,657
I can't arrest anyone.

957
00:36:40,658 --> 00:36:42,701
So you give us a ticket?

958
00:36:42,702 --> 00:36:45,453
You know, it's fucked up,
I can't even give tickets.

959
00:36:45,454 --> 00:36:46,330
Well, what can you do?

960
00:36:46,331 --> 00:36:47,497
What can you do?

961
00:36:47,498 --> 00:36:48,598
Nothing.

962
00:36:49,292 --> 00:36:52,419
You can just show up and
just tell people to go home.

963
00:36:52,420 --> 00:36:54,421
You know, it's like, hey!

964
00:36:54,422 --> 00:36:57,382
Go home and watch Netflix and eat Doritos.

965
00:36:57,383 --> 00:37:00,135
Oh my god.

966
00:37:00,136 --> 00:37:03,389
Ruis, I gotta say it,
you're fucking awesome.

967
00:37:04,348 --> 00:37:05,448
I know, right?

968
00:37:07,101 --> 00:37:09,561
You guys want a ride home?

969
00:37:09,562 --> 00:37:10,605
Yeah yeah yeah, if you
don't give me a ride home,

970
00:37:10,606 --> 00:37:12,230
I'm gonna hurt myself.

971
00:37:12,231 --> 00:37:14,232
Yeah, and you know what?

972
00:37:14,233 --> 00:37:18,236
Even though I happen to be
a fantastic drunk driver,

973
00:37:18,237 --> 00:37:19,404
I think it's the wrong thing.

974
00:37:19,405 --> 00:37:22,949
So I'll get my car tomorrow,
I'll take a ride with you now.

975
00:37:22,950 --> 00:37:24,284
- Let's go.
- Shall we?

976
00:37:24,285 --> 00:37:25,535
- Yes, let's go.
- Great.

977
00:37:25,536 --> 00:37:26,621
- Oh.
- My bad.

978
00:37:26,622 --> 00:37:28,580
- Careful along the maze.
- Yeah.

979
00:37:28,581 --> 00:37:29,831
- Careful.
- Okay.

980
00:37:29,832 --> 00:37:31,708
- Ow, fuck.
- This way.

981
00:37:31,709 --> 00:37:32,876
- Yeah, of course.
- This way.

982
00:37:32,877 --> 00:37:35,545
- Scott, this way.
- Yeah, dude.

983
00:37:35,546 --> 00:37:37,505
- I don't know which way to go?
- Yeah.

984
00:37:37,506 --> 00:37:39,300
I'm like 34.

985
00:37:44,180 --> 00:37:46,598
Let me know when you find
that joint, all right?

986
00:37:46,599 --> 00:37:50,143
Yeah, and don't smoke it.

987
00:37:50,144 --> 00:37:51,269
Hey, put the weapon down.

988
00:37:51,270 --> 00:37:56,234
Put the weapon down.

989
00:38:44,991 --> 00:38:46,091
Scotty.

990
00:38:46,826 --> 00:38:48,910
Scotty, are you awake?

991
00:38:48,911 --> 00:38:49,745
No.

992
00:38:49,746 --> 00:38:51,204
I'm just checking
you're not oversleeping

993
00:38:51,205 --> 00:38:52,372
for an appointment or anything.

994
00:38:52,373 --> 00:38:53,581
Do you know what time it is?

995
00:38:53,582 --> 00:38:54,542
Yeah, Mom.

996
00:38:54,543 --> 00:38:56,459
It's 4:67, we're fine.

997
00:38:56,460 --> 00:38:59,296
4:67 isn't a time, honey.

998
00:38:59,297 --> 00:39:00,131
Oh man.

999
00:39:00,131 --> 00:39:01,132
Okay, and where's your car?

1000
00:39:01,133 --> 00:39:03,049
I didn't see it outside.

1001
00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:06,553
Battery died.

1002
00:39:06,554 --> 00:39:07,388
I need a jump today, okay?

1003
00:39:07,389 --> 00:39:09,806
Well, I guess it's finally
starting to show its age.

1004
00:39:09,807 --> 00:39:11,224
But when you get up,
you wanna do me a favor?

1005
00:39:11,225 --> 00:39:12,350
Yeah, 100%.

1006
00:39:12,351 --> 00:39:16,855
But first, Mom, can you get
me like a bucket of Advil

1007
00:39:16,856 --> 00:39:18,148
and like some Eggos.

1008
00:39:18,149 --> 00:39:20,192
Oh, I love you very much.

1009
00:39:21,485 --> 00:39:22,862
I love you too.

1010
00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:25,740
- Now get up.
- Yeah.

1011
00:39:59,273 --> 00:40:02,650
Why are you sanding the screen?

1012
00:40:02,651 --> 00:40:03,486
What?

1013
00:40:03,487 --> 00:40:05,195
Why are you sanding the screen?

1014
00:40:05,196 --> 00:40:07,530
Well, in order to re-stain the screens,

1015
00:40:07,531 --> 00:40:09,574
one must first sand them.

1016
00:40:09,575 --> 00:40:10,909
Yeah.

1017
00:40:10,910 --> 00:40:11,744
Yeah, a new stain would look good.

1018
00:40:11,745 --> 00:40:12,870
That's a good idea.

1019
00:40:15,414 --> 00:40:16,706
You need something, Scott?

1020
00:40:16,707 --> 00:40:17,807
No.

1021
00:40:19,418 --> 00:40:20,252
I just wanted to tell you

1022
00:40:20,253 --> 00:40:22,837
that I'm not gonna be staying
here for too much longer.

1023
00:40:22,838 --> 00:40:23,881
I'm gonna get a place of my own.

1024
00:40:23,882 --> 00:40:25,715
I've already been looking on Craigslist.

1025
00:40:25,716 --> 00:40:28,051
Well, how much is this
place of your own gonna cost?

1026
00:40:28,052 --> 00:40:29,469
You don't have to worry about it.

1027
00:40:29,470 --> 00:40:31,763
I went down to Governor's, I'm
scheduling a set for myself.

1028
00:40:31,764 --> 00:40:34,307
And I know I shouldn't be
starting on open mics again,

1029
00:40:34,308 --> 00:40:35,142
but if I want to get paid for standup--

1030
00:40:35,143 --> 00:40:36,768
Scott, come on.

1031
00:40:36,769 --> 00:40:40,480
Enough of this fantasy land bullshit.

1032
00:40:40,481 --> 00:40:42,565
I know you probably don't wanna hear that.

1033
00:40:42,566 --> 00:40:43,900
Probably?

1034
00:40:43,901 --> 00:40:46,236
Okay, I'll tell you a story, all right?

1035
00:40:46,237 --> 00:40:48,947
Um, a couple summers back,
when your uncle Jeffrey and I,

1036
00:40:48,948 --> 00:40:51,408
we went to Vegas, we were
on this incredible heater

1037
00:40:51,409 --> 00:40:53,284
on the three card tables at the MGM Grand.

1038
00:40:53,285 --> 00:40:56,621
So, the pit boss, he gives
us a couple of comps.

1039
00:40:56,622 --> 00:40:58,289
That night, we go to see Brad Garrett.

1040
00:40:58,290 --> 00:41:01,292
And I gotta tell you, Son, he
was just fucking hilarious.

1041
00:41:01,293 --> 00:41:04,212
I laughed so hard, I spit gin
and tonic all over your uncle.

1042
00:41:04,213 --> 00:41:06,673
It was coming out of my goddamn nose.

1043
00:41:06,674 --> 00:41:07,841
Why are you telling me this?

1044
00:41:07,842 --> 00:41:10,301
I'm sorry, Scott, but
you're no Brad Garrett.

1045
00:41:10,302 --> 00:41:12,679
Oh my, are you serious?

1046
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:13,722
That's where you were going?

1047
00:41:13,723 --> 00:41:16,349
Look, you wanted to give
it a shot, I get that, okay?

1048
00:41:16,350 --> 00:41:18,643
And fine, the lumberyard's not for you.

1049
00:41:18,644 --> 00:41:19,687
Please, let's not do this again.

1050
00:41:19,688 --> 00:41:21,604
No no, just listen to me.

1051
00:41:21,605 --> 00:41:23,314
That is what it is, okay?

1052
00:41:23,315 --> 00:41:26,151
Just go and find yourself a real job.

1053
00:41:26,152 --> 00:41:27,027
You're in your 30s

1054
00:41:27,028 --> 00:41:29,612
and you're telling
jokes for pocket change.

1055
00:41:29,613 --> 00:41:30,989
You're better than that.

1056
00:41:30,990 --> 00:41:33,741
I mean, why don't you go and
tell your jokes in an office?

1057
00:41:33,742 --> 00:41:34,577
Okay?

1058
00:41:34,578 --> 00:41:36,077
I mean, be that guy.

1059
00:41:36,078 --> 00:41:37,538
The funny mailman.

1060
00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:09,527
What up, Marty, how you feeling?

1061
00:42:09,528 --> 00:42:11,488
Oh man.

1062
00:42:11,489 --> 00:42:13,114
How do I look?

1063
00:42:13,115 --> 00:42:15,159
- You look like a five.
- A five?

1064
00:42:16,327 --> 00:42:18,119
Uh, this today?

1065
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:19,246
This is so recent.

1066
00:42:21,665 --> 00:42:23,041
I got a fresh one coming
out in two minutes.

1067
00:42:23,042 --> 00:42:23,876
Thank you.

1068
00:42:23,877 --> 00:42:28,046
Give me two regular, nice and
hot, crush red on the side,

1069
00:42:28,047 --> 00:42:31,466
and, um, a Thorazine smoothie.

1070
00:42:31,467 --> 00:42:33,551
- Yeah, the usual.
- Yeah.

1071
00:43:25,980 --> 00:43:27,939
Welcome to Do the Twist,
can I help you, sir?

1072
00:43:27,940 --> 00:43:30,024
Oh, I hope so, uh...

1073
00:43:30,025 --> 00:43:31,526
- Sanjay.
- Sanjay.

1074
00:43:31,527 --> 00:43:34,320
Sanjay, see, I got an enormous problem.

1075
00:43:34,321 --> 00:43:35,114
A problem?

1076
00:43:35,115 --> 00:43:37,865
Yeah, I got one of those
new coconut pretzels,

1077
00:43:37,866 --> 00:43:39,450
you know what I'm talking about?

1078
00:43:39,451 --> 00:43:40,286
- Yes.
- Yeah.

1079
00:43:40,286 --> 00:43:41,120
I bet you think they're delicious, right?

1080
00:43:41,121 --> 00:43:42,453
They're nice.

1081
00:43:42,454 --> 00:43:44,331
They made me shit my pants, Sanjay.

1082
00:43:46,625 --> 00:43:47,459
No.

1083
00:43:47,459 --> 00:43:48,294
Oh no is right, Sanjay.

1084
00:43:48,295 --> 00:43:49,877
That's why I'm here, retribution.

1085
00:43:49,878 --> 00:43:51,212
I'm here to get what's mine.

1086
00:43:51,213 --> 00:43:53,047
Where is your manager, I
wanna talk to your manager.

1087
00:43:53,048 --> 00:43:53,882
Is this her?

1088
00:43:53,883 --> 00:43:55,550
Is this the woman that
made me shit my pants?

1089
00:43:55,551 --> 00:43:56,843
No no no, she did not make you--

1090
00:43:56,844 --> 00:43:57,761
She did.

1091
00:43:57,762 --> 00:43:59,220
Go make pretzel dough, Sanjay.

1092
00:43:59,221 --> 00:44:00,321
Okay.

1093
00:44:01,974 --> 00:44:03,074
May I help you?

1094
00:44:04,435 --> 00:44:05,935
You left your wallet at home.

1095
00:44:05,936 --> 00:44:07,270
Mom asked me to bring it to you.

1096
00:44:07,271 --> 00:44:08,938
She's afraid to get pulled
over and a cop would be like,

1097
00:44:08,939 --> 00:44:09,773
where's your license?

1098
00:44:09,774 --> 00:44:10,982
That woman is a saint on earth.

1099
00:44:10,983 --> 00:44:11,900
She's incredible.

1100
00:44:11,901 --> 00:44:13,277
She's incredible, yeah.

1101
00:44:16,238 --> 00:44:18,698
What's with the sunglasses, Dirty Harry?

1102
00:44:18,699 --> 00:44:21,200
What's with the sunglasses
is that 34 year old hangovers

1103
00:44:21,201 --> 00:44:23,453
feel like brain cancer.

1104
00:44:23,454 --> 00:44:24,662
Light hurts.

1105
00:44:24,663 --> 00:44:26,581
Ruis said you were at a
playground late last night

1106
00:44:26,582 --> 00:44:28,207
with an old man.

1107
00:44:28,208 --> 00:44:29,293
Sounds like a real rager.

1108
00:44:29,294 --> 00:44:32,754
That is actually accurate.

1109
00:44:32,755 --> 00:44:35,048
But also, totally not
as weird as it sounds.

1110
00:44:35,049 --> 00:44:36,966
- I highly doubt that.
- Oh okay, well, you're wrong.

1111
00:44:36,967 --> 00:44:38,551
Your dad is wrong.

1112
00:44:38,552 --> 00:44:40,178
- Give me a pretzel.
- Give me some money.

1113
00:44:40,179 --> 00:44:42,138
Oh my goodness.

1114
00:44:42,139 --> 00:44:44,098
Are you really trying to shake me down?

1115
00:44:44,099 --> 00:44:46,351
Can you believe this, Sanjay?

1116
00:44:46,352 --> 00:44:48,895
I am close, personal
friends with Ruis now.

1117
00:44:48,896 --> 00:44:50,063
I can call him any time I want.

1118
00:44:50,064 --> 00:44:51,189
That is bullshit.

1119
00:44:51,190 --> 00:44:52,024
Oh, really?

1120
00:44:52,025 --> 00:44:56,152
917-543-6--
Okay.

1121
00:44:56,153 --> 00:44:57,862
You get one pretzel.

1122
00:44:57,863 --> 00:44:59,322
I want my pretzel to be salted.

1123
00:44:59,323 --> 00:45:00,423
Salted.

1124
00:45:01,492 --> 00:45:02,368
Basic bitch.

1125
00:45:02,369 --> 00:45:04,744
Wow, how dare you.

1126
00:45:04,745 --> 00:45:06,205
I am a classic man.

1127
00:45:07,164 --> 00:45:08,289
I'm a classic man.

1128
00:45:08,290 --> 00:45:09,875
I know what I like and I eat it.

1129
00:45:16,548 --> 00:45:18,008
Thank you for bringing this.

1130
00:45:19,843 --> 00:45:20,968
I love you, I guess.

1131
00:45:20,969 --> 00:45:22,720
I love you too.

1132
00:45:22,721 --> 00:45:24,305
Also questionably.

1133
00:45:24,306 --> 00:45:26,683
Let's not talk about it again, okay?

1134
00:45:26,684 --> 00:45:28,476
I love you too, Sanjay.

1135
00:45:28,477 --> 00:45:30,228
- I love you.
- Bye.

1136
00:45:30,229 --> 00:45:31,939
- I'm gonna head out.
- Go to bed.

1137
00:45:33,023 --> 00:45:34,900
- I'll talk to you soon.
- Okay, bye.

1138
00:45:46,787 --> 00:45:47,996
Holy shit.

1139
00:45:49,957 --> 00:45:51,207
Wait one second, okay?

1140
00:45:51,208 --> 00:45:52,960
Wait one second, wait one second.

1141
00:46:01,093 --> 00:46:02,260
Oh my god.

1142
00:46:03,096 --> 00:46:04,554
Oh my god.

1143
00:46:06,265 --> 00:46:08,349
I heard it was true, I guess it is.

1144
00:46:08,350 --> 00:46:09,351
- Wow.
- What, what was?

1145
00:46:09,352 --> 00:46:11,519
I just, I heard you were at the wake.

1146
00:46:11,520 --> 00:46:13,187
- Yes.
- But I didn't necessarily

1147
00:46:13,188 --> 00:46:14,273
- believe it.
- I was there.

1148
00:46:14,274 --> 00:46:16,399
I didn't know, did you go?

1149
00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:18,401
Yeah, obviously I was there.

1150
00:46:18,402 --> 00:46:20,278
I didn't even know that you knew Rory.

1151
00:46:20,279 --> 00:46:21,612
Yeah, ugh.

1152
00:46:21,613 --> 00:46:24,449
It's heartbreaking, yeah,
one of my good friends.

1153
00:46:24,450 --> 00:46:27,952
Did you fly back
specifically for the wake?

1154
00:46:27,953 --> 00:46:29,997
No, I actually moved back home.

1155
00:46:32,499 --> 00:46:33,599
- What?
- Yeah.

1156
00:46:35,377 --> 00:46:37,128
- Wait, I'm sorry, really?
- Yeah.

1157
00:46:37,129 --> 00:46:38,671
Like, for good?

1158
00:46:38,672 --> 00:46:40,214
I don't know, maybe.

1159
00:46:40,215 --> 00:46:41,425
I mean, for awhile, yeah.

1160
00:46:43,135 --> 00:46:44,761
What about California?

1161
00:46:44,762 --> 00:46:48,514
I got a job offer in New
York, so I had to come home.

1162
00:46:48,515 --> 00:46:49,932
What is it?

1163
00:46:49,933 --> 00:46:52,268
A development deal with Snapchat.

1164
00:46:52,269 --> 00:46:54,562
Supposedly, I'm a social media influencer.

1165
00:46:54,563 --> 00:46:55,397
Really?

1166
00:46:55,398 --> 00:46:56,939
But you seem to be doing incredible.

1167
00:46:56,940 --> 00:46:58,691
Oh my goodness, I've seen all
these things on Instagram.

1168
00:46:58,692 --> 00:46:59,901
Iceland, you went to Iceland.

1169
00:46:59,902 --> 00:47:01,527
Wow, you've really been looking, huh?

1170
00:47:01,528 --> 00:47:03,070
Oh yeah, I'm a fucking troll.

1171
00:47:03,071 --> 00:47:04,405
I'm on it constantly.

1172
00:47:04,406 --> 00:47:07,241
And I saw that you married Owen.

1173
00:47:07,242 --> 00:47:08,576
Yeah.

1174
00:47:08,577 --> 00:47:09,677
I did.

1175
00:47:10,412 --> 00:47:11,538
You guys look happy.

1176
00:47:12,414 --> 00:47:13,514
Yeah.

1177
00:47:16,335 --> 00:47:18,336
Anyway, I gotta get outta here.

1178
00:47:18,337 --> 00:47:19,171
Yeah.

1179
00:47:19,172 --> 00:47:21,506
I gotta, well, I have to--

1180
00:47:21,507 --> 00:47:23,717
Yeah, I was literally, I was, okay.

1181
00:47:25,427 --> 00:47:26,386
Scott fucking Rollins.

1182
00:47:26,387 --> 00:47:27,638
Becky fucking Brooks.

1183
00:47:32,351 --> 00:47:33,851
Let me get this
straight, you're telling me

1184
00:47:33,852 --> 00:47:38,231
that she's gonna leave her
husband because of a yeah?

1185
00:47:38,232 --> 00:47:39,857
No, by the way, it's
not how she said it.

1186
00:47:39,858 --> 00:47:42,610
It wasn't just a yeah, it
was like a cry for help.

1187
00:47:42,611 --> 00:47:43,945
Oh man.

1188
00:47:43,946 --> 00:47:46,197
You have got to learn to
manage your expectations.

1189
00:47:46,198 --> 00:47:48,115
No, I'm gonna dive deep into this one.

1190
00:47:48,116 --> 00:47:50,535
I'm gonna really latch onto this one.

1191
00:47:50,536 --> 00:47:52,119
How do you have this?

1192
00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:53,329
I taped it the other night.

1193
00:47:53,330 --> 00:47:54,747
- Yes, did you really?
- Yeah.

1194
00:47:54,748 --> 00:47:56,791
'86 Mets, one of the best
teams in sports history.

1195
00:47:56,792 --> 00:47:57,626
Thank you.

1196
00:47:57,626 --> 00:47:58,460
And I'm not talking baseball.

1197
00:47:58,461 --> 00:47:59,585
I'm talking all of sports.

1198
00:47:59,586 --> 00:48:00,629
Hit me off with it.

1199
00:48:00,630 --> 00:48:02,839
What have we got, Gary
Carter, Lenny Dykstra--

1200
00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:05,550
- Keith Hernandez, Darryl--
- Darryl Strawberry.

1201
00:48:05,551 --> 00:48:06,593
- Big Lefty.
- Mookie.

1202
00:48:06,594 --> 00:48:08,719
- Mookie.
- And against Bill Buckner.

1203
00:48:08,720 --> 00:48:09,887
G-g-g-gosh.

1204
00:48:09,888 --> 00:48:11,306
What was that pitcher's name?

1205
00:48:12,558 --> 00:48:14,267
- Ron Darling.
- That was, yeah.

1206
00:48:14,268 --> 00:48:15,269
- From Yale.
- Very smart man.

1207
00:48:15,269 --> 00:48:16,311
- Really smart kid.
- Yeah.

1208
00:48:16,312 --> 00:48:18,062
My son was five.

1209
00:48:18,063 --> 00:48:20,773
I'd say, "Who's pitching"
and he'd go, Darling.

1210
00:48:20,774 --> 00:48:22,149
Yeah, yeah.

1211
00:48:22,150 --> 00:48:23,401
Yeah, they were great.

1212
00:48:23,402 --> 00:48:26,195
Speaking of great, my pancakes.

1213
00:48:26,196 --> 00:48:28,281
- Oh my god, unbelievable.
- Great?

1214
00:48:28,282 --> 00:48:29,074
You do a lot of cooking?

1215
00:48:29,075 --> 00:48:30,700
I used to, you know,
when the kids were young.

1216
00:48:30,701 --> 00:48:33,661
Breakfast mostly, but now, not so much.

1217
00:48:33,662 --> 00:48:34,496
Yeah.

1218
00:48:34,497 --> 00:48:36,455
I'm not that well-stocked
in the grocery department.

1219
00:48:36,456 --> 00:48:38,499
So what is it, just
blueberries and beer?

1220
00:48:38,500 --> 00:48:39,418
- And bourbon.
- Oh.

1221
00:48:39,419 --> 00:48:40,918
And I've got some Jager in the fridge.

1222
00:48:40,919 --> 00:48:42,670
So you cover all the basic food groups.

1223
00:48:42,671 --> 00:48:43,630
Just the essentials, you know.

1224
00:48:43,631 --> 00:48:44,840
- Well, okay.
- Yeah.

1225
00:48:47,718 --> 00:48:49,260
Are they organic blueberries?

1226
00:48:49,261 --> 00:48:51,847
- Long Island's own.
- Oh my god, I could taste it.

1227
00:48:52,764 --> 00:48:53,599
What are you doing?

1228
00:48:53,599 --> 00:48:54,683
You brought up bourbon.

1229
00:48:54,684 --> 00:48:55,975
You know, just put me
in the mood, that's all.

1230
00:48:55,976 --> 00:48:58,061
- No, you brought up bourbon.
- All right.

1231
00:48:59,813 --> 00:49:00,913
Fine.

1232
00:49:01,690 --> 00:49:03,149
You're no fun.

1233
00:49:03,150 --> 00:49:05,860
Yeah, I've been hearing
that a lot lately.

1234
00:49:05,861 --> 00:49:08,446
To get back to what's important, right?

1235
00:49:08,447 --> 00:49:10,656
I'm there, I'm right in front of Becky,

1236
00:49:10,657 --> 00:49:12,199
and I ask her, I said,
"You guys look happy."

1237
00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:14,660
And then she says, now listen
to the way she says it, okay?

1238
00:49:14,661 --> 00:49:16,245
She goes, yeah.

1239
00:49:16,246 --> 00:49:17,538
That wasn't it, that wasn't even it.

1240
00:49:17,539 --> 00:49:20,041
It was like this, it was like
imagine someone about to die,

1241
00:49:20,042 --> 00:49:22,501
die inside, it was like, yeah.

1242
00:49:22,502 --> 00:49:23,669
That was it, did you hear it?

1243
00:49:23,670 --> 00:49:25,129
- No, I hear nothing.
- Oh my--

1244
00:49:25,130 --> 00:49:26,339
I hear absolutely nothing.

1245
00:49:26,340 --> 00:49:29,175
Listen, Rollins, existing marriage aside--

1246
00:49:29,176 --> 00:49:31,719
Terrible marriage aside, but continue.

1247
00:49:31,720 --> 00:49:32,554
Okay.

1248
00:49:32,555 --> 00:49:35,097
She said, he's the one, he's the one.

1249
00:49:35,098 --> 00:49:36,641
All right, that's cool, I get that.

1250
00:49:36,642 --> 00:49:39,060
But is she the one for you?

1251
00:49:39,061 --> 00:49:39,895
I mean, maybe.

1252
00:49:39,896 --> 00:49:42,855
It doesn't mean she's not
the right one for me, right?

1253
00:49:42,856 --> 00:49:46,359
All I'm trying to say is
lightning rarely strikes twice.

1254
00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:47,944
But if you keep your
eyes open and you're not

1255
00:49:47,945 --> 00:49:50,321
a little stubborn shit,
it can strike again.

1256
00:49:50,322 --> 00:49:52,240
Wow, what does that mean, Drunk Yoda?

1257
00:49:53,200 --> 00:49:54,784
It means what it means.

1258
00:49:54,785 --> 00:49:57,119
Holy shit, is that
your Yoda impersonation?

1259
00:49:57,120 --> 00:49:58,163
What the fuck is this?

1260
00:49:58,164 --> 00:50:00,040
Well, it's not my world.

1261
00:50:01,249 --> 00:50:02,084
What I'm trying to say is

1262
00:50:02,085 --> 00:50:03,876
what if I fucked with destiny, right?

1263
00:50:03,877 --> 00:50:05,419
What if I zigged when
I should have zagged?

1264
00:50:05,420 --> 00:50:07,421
My entire life would be different.

1265
00:50:07,422 --> 00:50:09,131
And speaking personally,

1266
00:50:09,132 --> 00:50:13,345
I actually do think that
you can unfuck something.

1267
00:50:15,472 --> 00:50:16,572
Yeah?

1268
00:50:21,353 --> 00:50:24,730
Do you know I'm going up again tomorrow.

1269
00:50:24,731 --> 00:50:26,232
Going up, what does that mean?

1270
00:50:26,233 --> 00:50:27,900
I'm making a comeback.

1271
00:50:27,901 --> 00:50:29,151
I'm going to Levittown.

1272
00:50:29,152 --> 00:50:31,153
A place called Governor's,
I'm gonna do some standup.

1273
00:50:31,154 --> 00:50:32,363
- Great.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1274
00:50:32,364 --> 00:50:33,656
- Oh, I love that.
- For real?

1275
00:50:33,657 --> 00:50:35,157
I told, oh, that's fantastic.

1276
00:50:35,158 --> 00:50:36,951
- What, tomorrow night?
- 7:00 p.m. tomorrow night.

1277
00:50:36,952 --> 00:50:37,828
But I don't know when I'm in the lineup.

1278
00:50:37,829 --> 00:50:39,328
So the show starts at 7:00 p.m.

1279
00:50:39,329 --> 00:50:40,163
I'm somewhere in there.

1280
00:50:40,163 --> 00:50:40,998
They gave me a shitty slot

1281
00:50:40,998 --> 00:50:42,082
because I haven't been there for a bit.

1282
00:50:42,082 --> 00:50:43,125
- I'll be there.
- For real?

1283
00:50:43,126 --> 00:50:44,625
- Yeah.
- Three drink minimum.

1284
00:50:44,626 --> 00:50:46,043
I'm worried about the drink maximum.

1285
00:50:46,044 --> 00:50:48,337
You can also drink
like a Coke or a coffee.

1286
00:50:48,338 --> 00:50:49,423
The caffeine will kill me.

1287
00:50:49,424 --> 00:50:51,132
My heart will be beating
like a hummingbird.

1288
00:50:51,133 --> 00:50:52,550
You're worried about
the caffeine killing you?

1289
00:50:52,551 --> 00:50:54,052
- Yeah.
- Shit, yeah.

1290
00:51:00,642 --> 00:51:04,938
Is it weird if I ask you who is in that?

1291
00:51:09,234 --> 00:51:13,822
No, that's Catherine,
that's wife number two.

1292
00:51:15,449 --> 00:51:16,908
And where's wife number one?

1293
00:51:17,909 --> 00:51:20,578
She's buried in a
cemetery in Farmingdale.

1294
00:51:20,579 --> 00:51:21,679
Mount Ararat.

1295
00:51:23,457 --> 00:51:26,584
Catherine hated the thought
of being put into the ground.

1296
00:51:26,585 --> 00:51:27,685
So...

1297
00:51:28,462 --> 00:51:29,562
I dig that, yeah.

1298
00:51:31,965 --> 00:51:33,549
How did she die?

1299
00:51:33,550 --> 00:51:37,054
You know, Rollins, I just
don't like to talk about it.

1300
00:51:39,222 --> 00:51:40,322
I get it.

1301
00:51:42,517 --> 00:51:44,811
She had stomach cancer, ate her alive.

1302
00:51:47,355 --> 00:51:49,440
You know, I didn't drink once

1303
00:51:49,441 --> 00:51:50,858
all the years that we were married.

1304
00:51:50,859 --> 00:51:52,318
Not once.

1305
00:51:52,319 --> 00:51:53,419
Not a drop.

1306
00:51:54,946 --> 00:51:56,046
Didn't have to.

1307
00:52:02,412 --> 00:52:04,080
What are you doing now?

1308
00:52:04,081 --> 00:52:05,082
It's Tuesday afternoon,

1309
00:52:05,083 --> 00:52:07,208
I'm eating pancakes with my dermatologist.

1310
00:52:07,209 --> 00:52:10,669
Well, get up.

1311
00:52:10,670 --> 00:52:12,546
- Get up, we going somewhere?
- Yeah.

1312
00:52:12,547 --> 00:52:14,465
- Where we going?
- Field trip.

1313
00:52:44,830 --> 00:52:48,958
I can't believe my dermatologist
drives Snoop Dogg's car.

1314
00:52:48,959 --> 00:52:51,544
She's a cliz-assic.

1315
00:52:51,545 --> 00:52:52,629
- Did I get it right?
- Yeah.

1316
00:52:52,630 --> 00:52:53,838
That's exactly how he says it.

1317
00:52:53,839 --> 00:52:55,047
- See?
- Cliz-assic.

1318
00:52:55,048 --> 00:52:56,383
I'm down with that.

1319
00:53:09,146 --> 00:53:10,939
You sure about this?

1320
00:53:12,816 --> 00:53:13,916
Yeah.

1321
00:53:15,235 --> 00:53:16,335
All right.

1322
00:53:18,238 --> 00:53:22,951
You know, it's been,
fuck me, three years.

1323
00:53:25,662 --> 00:53:26,538
And I would've done this earlier

1324
00:53:26,539 --> 00:53:28,665
but I didn't have
anybody to do it with me.

1325
00:53:30,750 --> 00:53:32,418
And the thought of an
old man out on the beach

1326
00:53:32,419 --> 00:53:34,211
spreading ashes around just seemed so--

1327
00:53:34,212 --> 00:53:35,462
Sad, yeah.

1328
00:53:35,463 --> 00:53:39,676
I was gonna say cliche
but, sad is not inaccurate.

1329
00:53:41,428 --> 00:53:43,053
Listen, if you wanna
say some words out there,

1330
00:53:43,054 --> 00:53:44,154
I could just stay here.

1331
00:53:45,849 --> 00:53:47,392
She knew what she meant to me.

1332
00:53:49,186 --> 00:53:50,145
I was the husband to her

1333
00:53:50,146 --> 00:53:51,897
that I couldn't be to my first wife.

1334
00:53:56,318 --> 00:53:57,943
Anne.

1335
00:53:57,944 --> 00:53:59,570
Poor Anne, she had so many problems.

1336
00:53:59,571 --> 00:54:01,030
She suffered from depression.

1337
00:54:01,031 --> 00:54:02,865
I mean, clinical depression.

1338
00:54:02,866 --> 00:54:04,576
It's a horrible disease.

1339
00:54:06,578 --> 00:54:11,332
To love someone who lives
in such a dark space

1340
00:54:11,333 --> 00:54:14,084
that they can't possibly love you back,

1341
00:54:14,085 --> 00:54:17,963
to try and fail every
day, it was impossible.

1342
00:54:17,964 --> 00:54:20,674
I just felt lost and I tried.

1343
00:54:20,675 --> 00:54:21,775
I just...

1344
00:54:22,594 --> 00:54:23,886
Fuck.

1345
00:54:23,887 --> 00:54:26,181
It takes a lot stronger
person than I was then.

1346
00:54:30,352 --> 00:54:31,852
But today's not about Anne.

1347
00:54:31,853 --> 00:54:34,396
Today's about Catherine.

1348
00:54:34,397 --> 00:54:37,817
And, all right, baby.

1349
00:54:41,238 --> 00:54:42,338
Let's rock and roll.

1350
00:54:43,782 --> 00:54:44,882
Let's do it.

1351
00:55:00,924 --> 00:55:02,800
Where's my wallet, Frank?

1352
00:55:02,801 --> 00:55:04,927
Hey, what did I tell you about that?

1353
00:55:04,928 --> 00:55:06,804
It's Dad, I'm your dad.

1354
00:55:06,805 --> 00:55:08,347
Now where did you put my wallet?

1355
00:55:08,348 --> 00:55:09,807
I want Burger King.

1356
00:55:09,808 --> 00:55:11,350
Yeah, well you know what?

1357
00:55:11,351 --> 00:55:13,811
I want a time machine and some condoms.

1358
00:55:13,812 --> 00:55:16,105
But I, you know what, I didn't mean that.

1359
00:55:16,106 --> 00:55:17,732
I didn't, I'm sorry.

1360
00:55:32,706 --> 00:55:34,290
- Oh.
- For real?

1361
00:55:34,291 --> 00:55:35,292
Oh, I'm sorry, honey.

1362
00:55:35,293 --> 00:55:36,917
I thought maybe something was wrong.

1363
00:55:36,918 --> 00:55:38,127
No, why would you think that?

1364
00:55:38,128 --> 00:55:39,795
Well, you've
been in there an awful--

1365
00:55:39,796 --> 00:55:41,630
- Mom, close the door.
- Okay, sorry, honey.

1366
00:55:41,631 --> 00:55:42,731
- Bye.
- Bye.

1367
00:55:44,301 --> 00:55:46,760
Jesus Christ.

1368
00:55:46,761 --> 00:55:49,847
Welcome to Do the Twist,
can I help you, sir?

1369
00:55:49,848 --> 00:55:52,100
Yeah, I'll have an unsalted and babe?

1370
00:55:54,019 --> 00:55:57,855
Oh, um, just a Parmesan
and garlic, please.

1371
00:55:57,856 --> 00:55:58,940
- Thank you.
- Okay.

1372
00:55:58,941 --> 00:56:01,191
Oh shit, look who it is.

1373
00:56:01,192 --> 00:56:02,110
- Hi.
- Hi.

1374
00:56:02,110 --> 00:56:02,944
Hi.

1375
00:56:02,945 --> 00:56:04,153
Long time no see.

1376
00:56:04,154 --> 00:56:06,071
Oh, Owen, you remember Meg, right?

1377
00:56:06,072 --> 00:56:07,364
Um, Scott's sister?

1378
00:56:07,365 --> 00:56:09,742
Oh yeah, right, hi, Meg.

1379
00:56:11,119 --> 00:56:13,120
Um, I love your photography.

1380
00:56:13,121 --> 00:56:15,080
I've been seeing everything
you've been posting on Facebook.

1381
00:56:15,081 --> 00:56:16,082
It's incredible.

1382
00:56:16,082 --> 00:56:17,167
- Thank you.
- Yeah.

1383
00:56:17,167 --> 00:56:18,084
Thanks.

1384
00:56:18,085 --> 00:56:20,127
- You guys got married, right?
- We did.

1385
00:56:20,128 --> 00:56:21,046
- Yeah.
- Congrats.

1386
00:56:21,047 --> 00:56:22,880
- Yeah, thanks.
- Oh no, those are on me.

1387
00:56:22,881 --> 00:56:25,341
- Oh.
- Oh my gosh, thank you.

1388
00:56:25,342 --> 00:56:27,092
- Of course.
- That's so sweet.

1389
00:56:27,093 --> 00:56:28,802
So sorry to hear about Rory.

1390
00:56:28,803 --> 00:56:31,221
Scott mentioned you guys were close.

1391
00:56:31,222 --> 00:56:32,723
- Yeah.
- Did you hear he's home?

1392
00:56:32,724 --> 00:56:34,475
- Who is, Scott?
- Yeah, the prodigal son

1393
00:56:34,476 --> 00:56:36,268
returned last week.

1394
00:56:36,269 --> 00:56:37,853
I'm seeing him tonight
at Governor's by the way.

1395
00:56:37,854 --> 00:56:39,021
- Wait, at Governor's?
- I know.

1396
00:56:39,022 --> 00:56:39,814
I haven't been back there

1397
00:56:39,815 --> 00:56:41,148
since I got kicked out for yelling--

1398
00:56:41,149 --> 00:56:44,360
My mom caught you jerking
off on my life-sized Barbie.

1399
00:56:48,365 --> 00:56:50,240
Do you guys have any babies yet or?

1400
00:56:50,241 --> 00:56:51,492
Oh god, no.

1401
00:56:51,493 --> 00:56:52,660
We, not yet.

1402
00:56:53,703 --> 00:56:55,871
Well, we should probably get going.

1403
00:56:55,872 --> 00:56:57,498
Yeah, yeah, we should.

1404
00:56:57,499 --> 00:56:58,625
It's good to see you.

1405
00:57:02,170 --> 00:57:03,462
Give another round of
applause again for Pet Cavalon.

1406
00:57:03,463 --> 00:57:05,214
Pete Cavalon.

1407
00:57:05,215 --> 00:57:06,423
All right.

1408
00:57:06,424 --> 00:57:08,050
Yeah, that was a real funny guy.

1409
00:57:08,051 --> 00:57:09,635
All right, let's keep this thing rolling

1410
00:57:09,636 --> 00:57:12,596
with Long Island's very
own Mr. Scott Rollins.

1411
00:57:12,597 --> 00:57:13,598
Come on up here, Scott.

1412
00:57:13,599 --> 00:57:16,058
Come on, let him hear
you, let him hear you.

1413
00:57:16,059 --> 00:57:18,227
Thank you, oh please, let me.

1414
00:57:18,228 --> 00:57:19,645
How is everybody tonight?

1415
00:57:19,646 --> 00:57:21,980
Good, good, good.

1416
00:57:21,981 --> 00:57:25,067
Um, it's crazy 'cause I
haven't been on this stage

1417
00:57:25,068 --> 00:57:26,485
since I was in my 20s.

1418
00:57:26,486 --> 00:57:29,363
And I am in my 30s now.

1419
00:57:29,364 --> 00:57:31,156
I know, I know, it probably
doesn't look like it, right?

1420
00:57:31,157 --> 00:57:32,699
I look like I'm at least mid-70s.

1421
00:57:32,700 --> 00:57:35,035
But I am in my 30s right now

1422
00:57:35,036 --> 00:57:36,620
and I feel like there's
so many differences

1423
00:57:36,621 --> 00:57:39,540
between your 20s and your 30s,
'cause when I was in my 20s,

1424
00:57:39,541 --> 00:57:40,458
I used to think to myself, oh,

1425
00:57:40,459 --> 00:57:42,751
what am I gonna do this weekend, right?

1426
00:57:42,752 --> 00:57:44,253
And now that I'm in my 30s,

1427
00:57:44,254 --> 00:57:46,296
I'm thinking, oh, what am
I gonna do with my life?

1428
00:57:58,685 --> 00:58:00,018
Hey, when am I up?

1429
00:58:00,019 --> 00:58:00,854
They're horrible.

1430
00:58:00,854 --> 00:58:01,688
You were just up.

1431
00:58:01,689 --> 00:58:03,605
Yeah, but I put in for
like six things, you know?

1432
00:58:03,606 --> 00:58:04,898
Come on, I gotta go.

1433
00:58:04,899 --> 00:58:06,275
Yeah, congratulations, there
are other people before you.

1434
00:58:06,276 --> 00:58:07,401
We go through this every week.

1435
00:58:07,402 --> 00:58:09,153
Hey, hey, hey, stop that, stop that.

1436
00:58:09,154 --> 00:58:10,737
I don't remember what I put in for.

1437
00:58:10,738 --> 00:58:12,197
Did I do "Weevils of London" yet?

1438
00:58:12,198 --> 00:58:13,407
Again, we don't have that.

1439
00:58:13,408 --> 00:58:14,741
How could you not have...

1440
00:58:14,742 --> 00:58:15,577
- Seriously, Marty?
- Oh, I'm sorry.

1441
00:58:15,578 --> 00:58:18,162
- What the fuck?
- No, I got it, sorry.

1442
00:58:18,163 --> 00:58:20,080
- I'm sorry.
- Hey, hey.

1443
00:58:20,081 --> 00:58:22,040
Maybe you should just go home.

1444
00:58:22,041 --> 00:58:22,917
I am home.

1445
00:58:22,918 --> 00:58:24,084
Everybody knows my name.

1446
00:58:24,085 --> 00:58:26,170
- I don't know your name.
- You know my name, Glen.

1447
00:58:26,171 --> 00:58:27,046
Hey, come over here,

1448
00:58:27,047 --> 00:58:28,422
we'll do a little "Mr. Roboto" together.

1449
00:58:28,423 --> 00:58:29,257
No way.

1450
00:58:29,257 --> 00:58:30,175
You hog the mic.

1451
00:58:30,176 --> 00:58:31,341
You call it hogging the mic,

1452
00:58:31,342 --> 00:58:33,470
I call it giving the
people what they want.

1453
00:58:35,555 --> 00:58:37,514
You are a mic hog.

1454
00:58:37,515 --> 00:58:39,683
But I'll sing with you.

1455
00:58:41,436 --> 00:58:42,936
Hey, you're out, Glen.

1456
00:58:42,937 --> 00:58:44,563
I was never in.

1457
00:58:45,899 --> 00:58:46,733
By show of hands,

1458
00:58:46,734 --> 00:58:50,402
who here actually lives
with their parents?

1459
00:58:50,403 --> 00:58:51,862
Okay, that's just me, nobody else?

1460
00:58:51,863 --> 00:58:52,988
All right, that's fine.

1461
00:58:52,989 --> 00:58:55,866
I feel like when you're my
age and you can't pay rent,

1462
00:58:55,867 --> 00:58:58,202
your only two options are
live with your parents

1463
00:58:58,203 --> 00:58:59,411
or become homeless.

1464
00:58:59,412 --> 00:59:01,455
And honestly, I think I
made the wrong choice.

1465
00:59:02,291 --> 00:59:05,167
I do, I'd be so much happier, right?

1466
00:59:05,168 --> 00:59:07,419
'Cause when you're homeless
and you're in the bathroom

1467
00:59:07,420 --> 00:59:09,421
for more than five minutes,
your mom doesn't gently

1468
00:59:09,422 --> 00:59:11,703
knock on the door and be like
is everything okay in there?

1469
00:59:16,804 --> 00:59:20,182
Um, yeah, um, my dad is,
he's not here, right?

1470
00:59:20,183 --> 00:59:24,353
My dad is obsessed with
bears, it's insane.

1471
00:59:24,354 --> 00:59:26,688
And I'm almost positive it's
because he saw "The Revenant"

1472
00:59:26,689 --> 00:59:28,315
one time and he's like, oo, I get it.

1473
00:59:28,316 --> 00:59:30,108
I wanna fuck a bear.

1474
01:00:17,949 --> 01:00:20,158
Oh, superstar.

1475
01:00:20,159 --> 01:00:21,577
- Come here.
- Thank you.

1476
01:00:21,578 --> 01:00:23,537
- You're a superstar, man.
- Thank you.

1477
01:00:23,538 --> 01:00:24,638
Thank you.

1478
01:00:26,082 --> 01:00:28,959
- I mean, right?
- Yeah.

1479
01:00:28,960 --> 01:00:31,503
You know, you.

1480
01:00:31,504 --> 01:00:32,338
What?

1481
01:00:32,339 --> 01:00:35,382
Are really, really, really mediocre.

1482
01:00:35,383 --> 01:00:36,467
Wow, at the end.

1483
01:00:36,467 --> 01:00:37,385
I thought you were
gonna say something nice

1484
01:00:37,386 --> 01:00:38,635
and at the end, you just pegged it.

1485
01:00:38,636 --> 01:00:39,970
No, wait.

1486
01:00:39,971 --> 01:00:41,597
Screw that.

1487
01:00:41,598 --> 01:00:43,098
You were fucking great.

1488
01:00:43,099 --> 01:00:45,684
Thank you, Ruis, I appreciate it.

1489
01:00:45,685 --> 01:00:49,438
I guess I could've laughed
like 10 seconds longer.

1490
01:00:49,439 --> 01:00:50,440
You know Murph was supposed to be here?

1491
01:00:50,440 --> 01:00:51,357
- Murph?
- Yes.

1492
01:00:51,358 --> 01:00:52,691
But his kid, he said
his kid was throwing up

1493
01:00:52,692 --> 01:00:53,526
or something like that.

1494
01:00:53,526 --> 01:00:54,527
Oh, the classic the parent line.

1495
01:00:54,527 --> 01:00:55,361
Fine, fine.

1496
01:00:55,361 --> 01:00:56,446
One of my other friends
was supposed to come

1497
01:00:56,447 --> 01:00:58,614
but I don't know what happened.

1498
01:00:58,615 --> 01:01:01,325
- Oh, don't worry about it.
- It was good, right?

1499
01:01:01,326 --> 01:01:02,701
- Yeah.
- It was, right?

1500
01:01:02,702 --> 01:01:03,786
- Yeah.
- It's different.

1501
01:01:03,787 --> 01:01:05,954
'Cause in California, it's
all depressing all the time.

1502
01:01:05,955 --> 01:01:08,582
But here, yes, it was
snapping and it all felt good.

1503
01:01:08,583 --> 01:01:10,250
Yeah, well you know, you got that whole

1504
01:01:10,251 --> 01:01:11,710
New York asshole thing going on for you.

1505
01:01:11,711 --> 01:01:14,004
I am sorry, was that another compliment?

1506
01:01:14,005 --> 01:01:16,131
I, no, because I called you an asshole.

1507
01:01:16,132 --> 01:01:19,385
- Right, it felt good.
- You were so funny.

1508
01:01:20,345 --> 01:01:22,554
Thank you, I appreciate it.

1509
01:01:22,555 --> 01:01:23,847
Thanks.

1510
01:01:23,848 --> 01:01:26,142
- Come on.
- Thanks for coming.

1511
01:01:28,102 --> 01:01:29,645
Oh, I'm sorry.

1512
01:01:29,646 --> 01:01:31,230
You got groupies, man.

1513
01:01:32,940 --> 01:01:34,191
Marry him, please.

1514
01:01:34,192 --> 01:01:35,692
Why are you not just
marrying him immediately?

1515
01:01:35,693 --> 01:01:37,986
He's incredibly supportive of me.

1516
01:01:37,987 --> 01:01:38,821
Are you done?

1517
01:01:38,822 --> 01:01:39,946
I'm done, yes.

1518
01:01:39,947 --> 01:01:41,323
We're going to the
Whale's Tail for a drink.

1519
01:01:41,324 --> 01:01:42,491
- You wanna come?
- Let's go.

1520
01:01:42,492 --> 01:01:45,744
I think I'm gonna go home,
work on some of my jokes.

1521
01:01:45,745 --> 01:01:46,845
- Okay.
- Yeah.

1522
01:01:48,206 --> 01:01:50,123
- That's good, man.
- You do you.

1523
01:01:50,124 --> 01:01:51,500
That's fucking awesome.

1524
01:01:51,501 --> 01:01:52,918
- Focus, right?
- I'm doing it.

1525
01:01:52,919 --> 01:01:54,211
- Focus.
- Focus, just like you said.

1526
01:01:54,212 --> 01:01:56,129
- Me too.
- I love you, Ruis.

1527
01:01:56,130 --> 01:01:57,215
- I love you, Ruis.
- I love you too, Scotty.

1528
01:01:57,216 --> 01:01:59,592
- Goodbye, good job.
- I'll see you later, man.

1529
01:03:59,837 --> 01:04:00,671
Hey, this is Scott.

1530
01:04:00,672 --> 01:04:02,423
Leave a message after the beep.

1531
01:04:04,592 --> 01:04:05,426
At the tone,

1532
01:04:05,427 --> 01:04:06,968
please record your message.

1533
01:04:06,969 --> 01:04:08,804
When you finish recording, you may hang up

1534
01:04:08,805 --> 01:04:10,723
or press one for more options.

1535
01:04:11,641 --> 01:04:13,850
Scott, it's Marty.

1536
01:04:13,851 --> 01:04:16,394
I'm really sorry I missed
your show last night, kid.

1537
01:04:16,395 --> 01:04:17,646
I really wanted to be there.

1538
01:04:17,647 --> 01:04:19,397
I planned on it.

1539
01:04:19,398 --> 01:04:23,026
But work was, it was a lot yesterday.

1540
01:04:23,027 --> 01:04:25,362
And I got home and I just
fell asleep on the couch.

1541
01:04:25,363 --> 01:04:26,656
I just, you know...

1542
01:04:28,616 --> 01:04:31,993
You know what, Rollins, that was bullshit.

1543
01:04:31,994 --> 01:04:33,453
That was just bullshit.

1544
01:04:33,454 --> 01:04:37,499
The truth is the night got away from me

1545
01:04:37,500 --> 01:04:39,085
and I'm really sorry that it did.

1546
01:04:40,962 --> 01:04:44,882
But I will be at the next
one, I promise you that, okay?

1547
01:04:45,842 --> 01:04:46,967
All right.

1548
01:04:46,968 --> 01:04:48,068
Let's talk soon.

1549
01:04:49,303 --> 01:04:50,403
This is Marty.

1550
01:04:51,597 --> 01:04:52,697
All right.

1551
01:05:01,607 --> 01:05:04,150
Are you still doing photography or?

1552
01:05:04,151 --> 01:05:04,986
That's stupid.

1553
01:05:04,987 --> 01:05:07,988
Hey, Becky.

1554
01:05:07,989 --> 01:05:09,782
Hey, Becky, long time.

1555
01:05:11,325 --> 01:05:12,617
- Hey, Scotty.
- So we're never gonna be

1556
01:05:12,618 --> 01:05:13,785
a knocking family, are we?

1557
01:05:13,786 --> 01:05:14,745
Well, I just wanted to see

1558
01:05:14,745 --> 01:05:15,621
if you wanted some hot chocolate.

1559
01:05:15,622 --> 01:05:17,205
I'm making some for your father and me.

1560
01:05:17,206 --> 01:05:18,306
Ma.

1561
01:05:19,876 --> 01:05:21,335
Oh, look at you.

1562
01:05:22,211 --> 01:05:23,795
Do you have a job interview today?

1563
01:05:23,796 --> 01:05:25,755
No, I'm just getting
lunch with a friend.

1564
01:05:25,756 --> 01:05:27,257
Oh, is this a date?

1565
01:05:27,258 --> 01:05:29,676
No, Mom, it's not a date.

1566
01:05:29,677 --> 01:05:31,094
Well, would you want some
hot chocolate before you go?

1567
01:05:31,095 --> 01:05:32,345
No, no no no.

1568
01:05:32,346 --> 01:05:34,306
Unless, do we have
those tiny marshmallows?

1569
01:05:34,307 --> 01:05:36,933
Scotty, you know I always
have those tiny marshmallows.

1570
01:05:36,934 --> 01:05:39,519
I would love some hot chocolate.

1571
01:05:39,520 --> 01:05:42,188
Yeah.

1572
01:05:42,189 --> 01:05:44,775
- Mom, do I look all right?
- You look so handsome.

1573
01:06:37,328 --> 01:06:38,162
Don't.

1574
01:06:38,162 --> 01:06:38,996
Marty, just turn around.

1575
01:06:38,996 --> 01:06:40,081
Come on.

1576
01:06:40,082 --> 01:06:42,290
Adam, I just want to talk to you.

1577
01:06:42,291 --> 01:06:43,541
I mean, what do you want me to do?

1578
01:06:43,542 --> 01:06:45,168
I want you to never show up at my house

1579
01:06:45,169 --> 01:06:47,712
or my job or anywhere else where I may be.

1580
01:06:47,713 --> 01:06:49,381
And yes, that includes friends' wakes.

1581
01:06:49,382 --> 01:06:51,299
I mean, seriously, what the fuck?

1582
01:06:51,300 --> 01:06:52,425
I always liked Rory.

1583
01:06:52,426 --> 01:06:54,177
He was a good kid and I felt bad about him

1584
01:06:54,178 --> 01:06:56,179
but I really wanted to see you.

1585
01:06:56,180 --> 01:06:59,849
Hey, Jules, I'll be in
in one minute, okay, pal?

1586
01:06:59,850 --> 01:07:02,560
- Backwards hug.
- Backwards hug.

1587
01:07:02,561 --> 01:07:04,479
I'm gonna be in there
in one minute okay, pal?

1588
01:07:04,480 --> 01:07:06,315
- Okay.
- All right.

1589
01:07:12,238 --> 01:07:13,338
He got big.

1590
01:07:14,240 --> 01:07:15,782
Yeah, kids do that.

1591
01:07:15,783 --> 01:07:17,784
I made blueberry pancakes,
they're in the car.

1592
01:07:17,785 --> 01:07:18,619
I thought maybe we could have--

1593
01:07:18,620 --> 01:07:20,120
Nobody wants your fucking pancakes.

1594
01:07:20,121 --> 01:07:22,580
Now just turn around, get
back in your ridiculous car--

1595
01:07:22,581 --> 01:07:23,624
I'm his grandfather.

1596
01:07:23,625 --> 01:07:26,001
No, Marty, you're not.

1597
01:07:26,002 --> 01:07:27,794
There's no reason for him to know you.

1598
01:07:27,795 --> 01:07:30,171
Adam, I can't fix this if
you don't give me a chance.

1599
01:07:30,172 --> 01:07:32,340
I don't want you to fix anything.

1600
01:07:32,341 --> 01:07:35,093
My mother--
Ate a bottle of pills.

1601
01:07:35,094 --> 01:07:36,194
Yeah, she did.

1602
01:07:37,138 --> 01:07:40,433
Because it was just too painful
for her to be here anymore.

1603
01:07:42,935 --> 01:07:45,770
And listen, your mother,
God rest her soul--

1604
01:07:45,771 --> 01:07:47,772
12 years ago, last week.

1605
01:07:47,773 --> 01:07:48,607
Did you know that?

1606
01:07:48,608 --> 01:07:50,108
Yeah, of course.

1607
01:07:50,109 --> 01:07:51,209
Of course I know.

1608
01:07:52,069 --> 01:07:54,404
Your mother was a very sick person.

1609
01:07:54,405 --> 01:07:57,532
It had nothing to do with me.

1610
01:07:57,533 --> 01:07:58,825
Every time I'd walk in the house,

1611
01:07:58,826 --> 01:08:00,744
she'd disappear just a little bit more

1612
01:08:00,745 --> 01:08:02,537
every day until she was gone.

1613
01:08:02,538 --> 01:08:05,999
And I tried to help her, I
did, but I couldn't do it.

1614
01:08:06,000 --> 01:08:07,375
It got to the point where I couldn't walk

1615
01:08:07,376 --> 01:08:09,044
into the house sober anymore.

1616
01:08:09,045 --> 01:08:10,145
I'm sorry.

1617
01:08:10,921 --> 01:08:12,130
I know what I did.

1618
01:08:12,131 --> 01:08:12,965
I know who I was.

1619
01:08:12,966 --> 01:08:14,174
No.

1620
01:08:14,175 --> 01:08:15,717
No, there's no past tense with you.

1621
01:08:15,718 --> 01:08:17,510
You knew she was sick.

1622
01:08:17,511 --> 01:08:19,304
You just said you knew and you
still fucked another woman.

1623
01:08:19,305 --> 01:08:21,306
I didn't just fuck another woman.

1624
01:08:21,307 --> 01:08:22,932
Catherine was not just another woman.

1625
01:08:22,933 --> 01:08:24,350
I fell in love, I'm sorry.

1626
01:08:24,351 --> 01:08:25,769
No, you cheated.

1627
01:08:25,770 --> 01:08:27,270
And you drank and you gambled.

1628
01:08:27,271 --> 01:08:28,813
And I'm ashamed of all of that.

1629
01:08:28,814 --> 01:08:29,914
Good.

1630
01:08:31,400 --> 01:08:32,942
I'm sorry, Marty, but I'm not gonna

1631
01:08:32,943 --> 01:08:35,695
give you what you're looking for today.

1632
01:08:35,696 --> 01:08:37,155
Okay?

1633
01:08:37,156 --> 01:08:38,256
Okay.

1634
01:08:41,827 --> 01:08:43,996
Why can't you just talk
to me like a person?

1635
01:08:44,997 --> 01:08:46,097
You know?

1636
01:08:47,374 --> 01:08:48,474
10 minutes.

1637
01:08:51,754 --> 01:08:53,631
Can't someone unfuck something?

1638
01:09:01,430 --> 01:09:02,597
Not you.

1639
01:09:02,598 --> 01:09:03,698
Not now.

1640
01:10:04,243 --> 01:10:06,870
Hey, can I ask you a question real quick?

1641
01:10:06,871 --> 01:10:07,971
Sure.

1642
01:10:09,165 --> 01:10:12,500
- Do you like your job?
- Oh, I love it.

1643
01:10:12,501 --> 01:10:15,086
- Really?
- It's the greatest job.

1644
01:10:15,087 --> 01:10:16,880
I might be the happiest
mailman in the world.

1645
01:10:18,215 --> 01:10:20,383
- You like it?
- It's a great job.

1646
01:10:20,384 --> 01:10:21,885
Have a great day.

1647
01:10:21,886 --> 01:10:23,803
You for real love your job?

1648
01:10:23,804 --> 01:10:24,847
It's fantastic.

1649
01:10:24,848 --> 01:10:26,389
- Are you interested?
- No.

1650
01:10:26,390 --> 01:10:27,490
Okay.

1651
01:10:32,563 --> 01:10:35,316
This is like a real adult house.

1652
01:10:36,650 --> 01:10:38,109
Says the 34 year old man.

1653
01:10:38,110 --> 01:10:39,485
Yeah with the emotional maturity level

1654
01:10:39,486 --> 01:10:41,070
of a 13 year old boy.

1655
01:10:43,699 --> 01:10:44,742
Yeah, I mean, I like it.

1656
01:10:44,743 --> 01:10:47,452
It's a little big, I guess.

1657
01:10:47,453 --> 01:10:52,040
But I mean, like, there's
a guitar just chilling

1658
01:10:52,041 --> 01:10:53,166
in the living room, you know?

1659
01:10:53,167 --> 01:10:55,418
What is that there for?

1660
01:10:55,419 --> 01:10:56,628
It's like, I don't play.

1661
01:10:56,629 --> 01:10:58,087
Owen doesn't play.

1662
01:10:58,088 --> 01:10:59,381
It's just sitting there.

1663
01:11:00,382 --> 01:11:02,217
I don't know, he thinks it's classy.

1664
01:11:02,218 --> 01:11:03,468
It is classy.

1665
01:11:03,469 --> 01:11:04,761
That is very classy.

1666
01:11:04,762 --> 01:11:06,304
When I came in, I was like,
I don't know about this...

1667
01:11:06,305 --> 01:11:08,598
Oh, this is a classy place.

1668
01:11:08,599 --> 01:11:10,309
- Know what I mean?
- Yeah, totally.

1669
01:11:13,604 --> 01:11:15,064
- Thanks for the tea.
- Yeah.

1670
01:11:21,528 --> 01:11:22,947
How's your photography going?

1671
01:11:24,490 --> 01:11:26,241
I don't know, you tell me.

1672
01:11:26,242 --> 01:11:27,492
That's you?

1673
01:11:27,493 --> 01:11:29,577
- Those are you photographs?
- Yes.

1674
01:11:29,578 --> 01:11:31,371
- Are you serious?
- Yes.

1675
01:11:31,372 --> 01:11:33,331
These are amazing.

1676
01:11:33,332 --> 01:11:34,582
That one, actually, the one on the left,

1677
01:11:34,583 --> 01:11:36,376
that was in The New Yorker recently.

1678
01:11:36,377 --> 01:11:38,378
- This was in The New Yorker?
- Yeah.

1679
01:11:38,379 --> 01:11:39,963
- Are you serious?
- Yes.

1680
01:11:39,964 --> 01:11:42,006
You just nonchalantly
throw that out there?

1681
01:11:42,007 --> 01:11:44,467
- That's incredible.
- Thanks.

1682
01:11:44,468 --> 01:11:46,970
And Owen seems to be doing well, right?

1683
01:11:46,971 --> 01:11:48,930
I heard he's a full-fledged
lawyer now, so...

1684
01:11:48,931 --> 01:11:49,974
He is.

1685
01:11:49,974 --> 01:11:50,849
Yep.

1686
01:11:50,850 --> 01:11:53,768
He is entertainment law, so...

1687
01:11:53,769 --> 01:11:56,522
Hey, maybe you could use him one time.

1688
01:11:57,773 --> 01:11:58,857
Maybe not.

1689
01:11:58,857 --> 01:11:59,957
No?

1690
01:12:00,609 --> 01:12:01,443
Why not?

1691
01:12:01,444 --> 01:12:03,695
What about the um--
The development deal?

1692
01:12:03,696 --> 01:12:04,946
Yeah.

1693
01:12:04,947 --> 01:12:08,450
That was actually a lie I
told to try to impress you.

1694
01:12:09,493 --> 01:12:11,286
I know, it's stupid.

1695
01:12:11,287 --> 01:12:15,999
That's apparently a
new wrinkle in my life.

1696
01:12:16,000 --> 01:12:18,168
I'm a liar now, so...

1697
01:12:19,086 --> 01:12:20,295
I'm confused.

1698
01:12:20,296 --> 01:12:21,130
Well, Becks--

1699
01:12:21,131 --> 01:12:22,451
No one's called me that in years.

1700
01:12:29,805 --> 01:12:32,140
Scott, what happened to us?

1701
01:12:32,141 --> 01:12:33,683
Wow, we're just going for it?

1702
01:12:33,684 --> 01:12:34,976
Well, I mean, I don't know.

1703
01:12:34,977 --> 01:12:36,978
We could continue
bullshitting back and forth.

1704
01:12:36,979 --> 01:12:37,813
No, you're right, you're right,

1705
01:12:37,813 --> 01:12:38,647
you're right, you're right.

1706
01:12:38,648 --> 01:12:41,649
It's just a loaded question.

1707
01:12:41,650 --> 01:12:42,859
I don't know.

1708
01:12:42,860 --> 01:12:44,360
About time.

1709
01:12:44,361 --> 01:12:46,780
I've been wanting to ask you
that for like four years now.

1710
01:12:48,115 --> 01:12:50,742
In my eyes, we were great.

1711
01:12:50,743 --> 01:12:52,118
Yeah.

1712
01:12:52,119 --> 01:12:55,414
Then you just hit the
self-destruct button.

1713
01:12:58,042 --> 01:13:01,836
There was no fight, no conversation.

1714
01:13:01,837 --> 01:13:03,088
You just--
Disappeared.

1715
01:13:06,759 --> 01:13:09,218
You wouldn't even respond to texts.

1716
01:13:09,219 --> 01:13:10,636
- I know.
- What is that?

1717
01:13:10,637 --> 01:13:12,930
Like just like one word responses?

1718
01:13:12,931 --> 01:13:16,560
Like, yeah, sorry?

1719
01:13:17,519 --> 01:13:19,396
Do you know how infuriating that is?

1720
01:13:20,481 --> 01:13:22,690
I mean, I was getting bits
and pieces of information

1721
01:13:22,691 --> 01:13:24,734
from whatever friends we still had.

1722
01:13:24,735 --> 01:13:27,653
But I was just trying to piece together

1723
01:13:27,654 --> 01:13:29,489
what I could have possibly done that--

1724
01:13:29,490 --> 01:13:30,656
You didn't do anything,
you didn't do anything.

1725
01:13:30,657 --> 01:13:32,283
I swear to you.

1726
01:13:32,284 --> 01:13:35,453
I just saw all of our friends coupling up

1727
01:13:35,454 --> 01:13:37,580
and getting married and I
saw my own life trajectory.

1728
01:13:37,581 --> 01:13:39,165
I saw the whole thing.

1729
01:13:39,166 --> 01:13:42,710
Marriage, house, kids,
and it terrified me.

1730
01:13:42,711 --> 01:13:44,838
Yeah, see, I saw all that too.

1731
01:13:46,715 --> 01:13:48,008
But I was excited by it.

1732
01:13:49,468 --> 01:13:50,886
I should have been excited.

1733
01:13:53,222 --> 01:13:54,972
I should have been
excited, but I got scared.

1734
01:13:54,973 --> 01:13:58,268
And when I get scared, I run away.

1735
01:14:01,146 --> 01:14:02,356
Fuck.

1736
01:14:08,362 --> 01:14:09,488
What if I never left?

1737
01:14:40,352 --> 01:14:41,452
Hey, what?

1738
01:14:46,817 --> 01:14:48,067
What the hell, Scott?

1739
01:14:48,068 --> 01:14:49,444
- I'm sorry, okay?
- You're running again.

1740
01:14:49,445 --> 01:14:50,446
- No.
- You're like literally

1741
01:14:50,446 --> 01:14:51,447
- running down the stairs.
- No no no,

1742
01:14:51,447 --> 01:14:52,281
but it's a good run, okay?

1743
01:14:52,281 --> 01:14:53,115
I think I just had an epiphany.

1744
01:14:53,115 --> 01:14:54,199
What epiphany?

1745
01:14:54,200 --> 01:14:56,409
What are you talking about?

1746
01:14:56,410 --> 01:14:58,661
I can't keep letting my bad
decisions mess up your life.

1747
01:14:58,662 --> 01:15:00,746
It's not fair, okay?

1748
01:15:00,747 --> 01:15:03,040
No, this is right, okay?

1749
01:15:03,041 --> 01:15:04,209
You're right for me.

1750
01:15:05,127 --> 01:15:07,212
We fit together, we always have.

1751
01:15:08,922 --> 01:15:10,022
No, we haven't.

1752
01:15:12,551 --> 01:15:13,651
Fuck you.

1753
01:15:15,471 --> 01:15:16,571
I'm sorry.

1754
01:15:30,319 --> 01:15:31,419
Fuck me.

1755
01:15:32,988 --> 01:15:34,197
You son of a bitch.

1756
01:15:34,198 --> 01:15:35,364
I swear, Owen...

1757
01:15:35,365 --> 01:15:40,162
Fuck.

1758
01:15:42,247 --> 01:15:43,873
Dude, I swear it's not what it looks like.

1759
01:15:43,874 --> 01:15:44,708
Bullshit.

1760
01:15:44,709 --> 01:15:46,334
God, you run like
the fucking Terminator.

1761
01:15:46,335 --> 01:15:48,462
I ran track in high school, you moron.

1762
01:16:22,162 --> 01:16:23,262
The pool?

1763
01:16:24,331 --> 01:16:25,374
Haven't you ever seen "Cops"?

1764
01:16:25,375 --> 01:16:26,667
No no no, listen to me.

1765
01:16:28,293 --> 01:16:29,961
- Ah.
- Owen.

1766
01:16:29,962 --> 01:16:32,964
Shit.

1767
01:16:32,965 --> 01:16:34,131
Ah, fuck.

1768
01:16:34,132 --> 01:16:36,008
I've never been punched before.

1769
01:16:36,009 --> 01:16:37,843
Ah, I've never punched anyone before.

1770
01:16:37,844 --> 01:16:39,470
I think you broke my nose.

1771
01:16:39,471 --> 01:16:41,723
I think you broke my hand.

1772
01:16:50,524 --> 01:16:52,526
I knew that this would happen eventually.

1773
01:16:55,904 --> 01:16:57,863
I even had a nightmare about it.

1774
01:16:57,864 --> 01:16:59,448
You had a nightmare about us fighting?

1775
01:16:59,449 --> 01:17:00,867
Not about us fighting.

1776
01:17:03,954 --> 01:17:05,054
About losing her.

1777
01:17:07,207 --> 01:17:11,043
I swear, nobody wanted you to
succeed in LA more than I did.

1778
01:17:11,044 --> 01:17:13,296
I knew that the better
off you were out there,

1779
01:17:13,297 --> 01:17:15,548
the happier I would be here.

1780
01:17:15,549 --> 01:17:17,592
I don't know what to say, man.

1781
01:17:17,593 --> 01:17:18,468
I didn't mean to hurt--

1782
01:17:18,469 --> 01:17:21,179
Honestly, Scott, I don't
care what you have to say.

1783
01:17:22,681 --> 01:17:25,225
But I am gonna go see what she has to say.

1784
01:17:31,898 --> 01:17:35,359
Scott, no man wants the woman he loves

1785
01:17:35,360 --> 01:17:37,653
to have a one that got away.

1786
01:17:37,654 --> 01:17:40,573
I know that we used to be
friends and this is a small town,

1787
01:17:40,574 --> 01:17:43,869
but I truly hope I never see you again.

1788
01:17:55,505 --> 01:17:58,174
Marty, you beautiful
bastard, you're a genius,

1789
01:17:58,175 --> 01:17:59,259
do you know that?

1790
01:17:59,260 --> 01:18:03,929
I went over to Becks' and
things got so crazy so quick.

1791
01:18:03,930 --> 01:18:05,514
Give me a call back, okay?

1792
01:18:34,211 --> 01:18:35,461
Sir, you can't go over there.

1793
01:18:35,462 --> 01:18:37,046
- No, that's my friend.
- Sir, I'm sorry.

1794
01:18:37,047 --> 01:18:38,297
You're gonna have to stay back here.

1795
01:18:38,298 --> 01:18:41,592
- Tell me, is he okay?
- Sir, I'm sorry.

1796
01:18:41,593 --> 01:18:43,010
You're gonna have to stay back here.

1797
01:18:43,011 --> 01:18:45,096
Tell me he's okay.

1798
01:19:19,005 --> 01:19:21,299
And while Martin's
body is no longer with us

1799
01:19:22,175 --> 01:19:26,138
in a traditional sense,
his soul is everlasting.

1800
01:19:28,265 --> 01:19:31,767
God has a plan for each
and every one of us

1801
01:19:31,768 --> 01:19:34,729
and we should all take solace in knowing

1802
01:19:34,730 --> 01:19:37,691
that Martin is in a better place.

1803
01:19:39,234 --> 01:19:42,611
And we also find comfort in the knowledge

1804
01:19:42,612 --> 01:19:45,448
that none of us is grieving alone.

1805
01:19:45,449 --> 01:19:47,700
No--
Hey, rabbi?

1806
01:19:47,701 --> 01:19:49,286
Do you mind if I say a few words?

1807
01:19:51,580 --> 01:19:52,830
All right.

1808
01:19:52,831 --> 01:19:53,749
Sorry.

1809
01:19:53,750 --> 01:19:55,166
Sorry, guys.

1810
01:19:55,167 --> 01:19:56,267
Sorry about this.

1811
01:19:58,378 --> 01:19:59,478
Thank you.

1812
01:20:02,090 --> 01:20:04,884
I am just now realizing that most of you

1813
01:20:04,885 --> 01:20:07,261
have no idea who I am.

1814
01:20:07,262 --> 01:20:08,888
I am Scott.

1815
01:20:08,889 --> 01:20:10,182
I was friends with Marty.

1816
01:20:11,266 --> 01:20:13,100
I didn't know him for all that long,

1817
01:20:13,101 --> 01:20:14,727
but I got to know him really well.

1818
01:20:14,728 --> 01:20:16,562
And I just know that when I die,

1819
01:20:16,563 --> 01:20:19,316
I want someone who knew me to speak.

1820
01:20:20,859 --> 01:20:25,529
I first met Marty when he
was pissing into a sink.

1821
01:20:25,530 --> 01:20:26,406
- Do you remember that?
- Yeah.

1822
01:20:26,407 --> 01:20:28,824
He was pissing in the
sink right on his tippy toes

1823
01:20:28,825 --> 01:20:29,992
like a weirdo.

1824
01:20:29,993 --> 01:20:31,786
And that is classic Marty.

1825
01:20:31,787 --> 01:20:32,829
That's classic Marty.

1826
01:20:32,829 --> 01:20:33,705
And right when he was done,

1827
01:20:33,706 --> 01:20:37,625
he noticed that I had a
skin condition on my arm.

1828
01:20:37,626 --> 01:20:40,044
And when he found out that
I couldn't pay for it,

1829
01:20:40,045 --> 01:20:42,129
he just gave me the medicine for free.

1830
01:20:42,130 --> 01:20:46,008
And I feel like that, that in
a nutshell is Marty, right?

1831
01:20:46,009 --> 01:20:50,054
He's a little bit crazy,
he talks a ton of shit.

1832
01:20:50,055 --> 01:20:52,681
But he has an incredible heart.

1833
01:20:52,682 --> 01:20:54,850
And he's also sneaky wise.

1834
01:20:54,851 --> 01:20:56,393
He would say these little nuggets,

1835
01:20:56,394 --> 01:20:57,603
and they would just stick with you.

1836
01:20:57,604 --> 01:20:59,397
Like one time, he said to me,

1837
01:21:00,273 --> 01:21:03,818
"Regret is the only thing that's real."

1838
01:21:03,819 --> 01:21:04,919
I regret a lot.

1839
01:21:06,238 --> 01:21:07,656
I mean, we all do, right?

1840
01:21:08,532 --> 01:21:09,449
I mean, especially you.

1841
01:21:09,449 --> 01:21:10,283
Are you kidding me?

1842
01:21:10,283 --> 01:21:11,284
Third row.

1843
01:21:11,285 --> 01:21:12,618
How do you, don't look behind you.

1844
01:21:12,619 --> 01:21:13,453
I'm talking about you.

1845
01:21:13,454 --> 01:21:15,246
You're wearing a Hawaiian
shirt to a funeral.

1846
01:21:15,247 --> 01:21:16,831
What are you doing?

1847
01:21:24,172 --> 01:21:25,340
Marty was a good man.

1848
01:21:27,092 --> 01:21:30,178
And he taught me that people can change.

1849
01:21:32,055 --> 01:21:34,474
And I think he was on his
way to doing just that.

1850
01:21:36,977 --> 01:21:38,603
I'm gonna miss him a lot.

1851
01:21:40,397 --> 01:21:42,107
I think we're all gonna miss him a lot.

1852
01:21:44,276 --> 01:21:45,985
All right, thank you.

1853
01:21:45,986 --> 01:21:47,195
I don't even, yeah, yeah.

1854
01:21:53,159 --> 01:21:54,743
- Thanks.
- Thank you for coming.

1855
01:21:54,744 --> 01:21:57,622
- Thank you.
- Thank you for coming.

1856
01:21:59,875 --> 01:22:00,709
Hey, man.

1857
01:22:00,710 --> 01:22:02,543
I just want to say I'm
sorry for your loss.

1858
01:22:02,544 --> 01:22:03,378
Yeah, no.

1859
01:22:03,379 --> 01:22:06,422
I, sorry, I forgot your name.

1860
01:22:06,423 --> 01:22:08,424
- Scott.
- Scott, right, yeah.

1861
01:22:08,425 --> 01:22:09,718
Your dad was a great man.

1862
01:22:11,011 --> 01:22:12,095
No.

1863
01:22:12,095 --> 01:22:13,195
No, he wasn't.

1864
01:22:15,515 --> 01:22:17,183
- See you.
- Yeah, see you.

1865
01:22:23,440 --> 01:22:24,648
Are you Marty's daughter?

1866
01:22:24,649 --> 01:22:25,775
Yeah, I'm Taylor.

1867
01:22:26,651 --> 01:22:27,776
You the comedian?

1868
01:22:27,777 --> 01:22:28,877
Comedian.

1869
01:22:29,446 --> 01:22:30,779
Yeah.

1870
01:22:30,780 --> 01:22:31,880
Yeah.

1871
01:22:33,783 --> 01:22:34,659
Are you from around here or?

1872
01:22:34,660 --> 01:22:36,076
- No, I'm a Jersey girl.
- Oh.

1873
01:22:36,077 --> 01:22:38,371
Moved to Sparta after college.

1874
01:22:40,832 --> 01:22:45,795
Um, my dad stopped by
my house the other day.

1875
01:22:47,881 --> 01:22:49,466
A few hours before the crash.

1876
01:22:50,717 --> 01:22:51,843
- Seriously?
- Yeah.

1877
01:22:53,136 --> 01:22:54,236
It was nice.

1878
01:22:55,096 --> 01:22:58,182
Unexpected, but nice.

1879
01:22:58,183 --> 01:23:00,559
Said he was going to Adam's next.

1880
01:23:00,560 --> 01:23:01,937
Did he make it over there?

1881
01:23:02,938 --> 01:23:04,038
Adam says no.

1882
01:23:08,985 --> 01:23:11,863
When he was there, did he seem...

1883
01:23:13,406 --> 01:23:16,117
Drunk enough to barrel a
Cadillac into a pizza place?

1884
01:23:18,203 --> 01:23:23,166
No, actually, fun fact,
he was stone cold sober.

1885
01:23:24,626 --> 01:23:25,460
Yeah.

1886
01:23:25,460 --> 01:23:26,560
It was a heart attack.

1887
01:23:29,172 --> 01:23:31,466
Said he was actually
getting his shit together.

1888
01:23:33,510 --> 01:23:37,555
I mean, not like I haven't
heard that before but...

1889
01:23:39,224 --> 01:23:40,324
Sorry.

1890
01:23:44,020 --> 01:23:46,605
Is it weird that I'm getting emotional

1891
01:23:46,606 --> 01:23:48,148
over my dermatologist?

1892
01:23:48,149 --> 01:23:49,249
I mean, it's your dad.

1893
01:23:51,945 --> 01:23:54,739
I've shed plenty of
Marty-inspired tears.

1894
01:23:56,032 --> 01:23:57,132
Trust me.

1895
01:24:02,831 --> 01:24:04,206
It was really nice to
talk to you in there.

1896
01:24:04,207 --> 01:24:05,307
Yeah.

1897
01:24:06,042 --> 01:24:06,876
Yeah, it's kinda nice to know that Marty

1898
01:24:06,877 --> 01:24:09,044
had his shit together
enough to make a new friend.

1899
01:24:09,045 --> 01:24:10,713
Well, I wouldn't say
he had his shit together.

1900
01:24:10,714 --> 01:24:12,966
Yeah well, who really does, right?

1901
01:24:14,300 --> 01:24:15,400
Right.

1902
01:24:16,511 --> 01:24:17,678
It was really nice meeting you.

1903
01:24:17,679 --> 01:24:19,180
So nice to meet you.

1904
01:24:21,558 --> 01:24:24,059
- Okay, I'll see you.
- Yeah.

1905
01:24:24,060 --> 01:24:25,160
Okay.

1906
01:24:29,065 --> 01:24:30,899
Oh, hey, Scott.

1907
01:24:30,900 --> 01:24:32,651
Do you have any good
dinner recommendations?

1908
01:24:32,652 --> 01:24:34,779
I haven't been back on
the island in years.

1909
01:24:37,825 --> 01:24:39,283
So, Taylor, what
do you do for a living?

1910
01:24:39,284 --> 01:24:40,118
Me?

1911
01:24:40,118 --> 01:24:41,202
Oh, I work for the post office.

1912
01:24:41,203 --> 01:24:42,911
- You do?
- Really?

1913
01:24:42,912 --> 01:24:43,747
Yeah.

1914
01:24:43,747 --> 01:24:44,789
Yeah, I mean, I don't love it,

1915
01:24:44,790 --> 01:24:46,331
but it's steady money, good benefits.

1916
01:24:46,332 --> 01:24:47,208
You work for the post office?

1917
01:24:47,209 --> 01:24:49,084
Yes, why are you saying it like that?

1918
01:24:49,085 --> 01:24:51,253
My friend Ruis here, he
works for the government too.

1919
01:24:51,254 --> 01:24:52,546
Oh, is that right?

1920
01:24:52,547 --> 01:24:53,465
Hell yeah.

1921
01:24:53,466 --> 01:24:55,132
Protect and serve.

1922
01:24:55,133 --> 01:24:56,800
Now, I hope y'all are gonna like this.

1923
01:24:56,801 --> 01:24:58,469
I'm sure it's fantastic, Mom.

1924
01:24:58,470 --> 01:25:01,514
- But first, shall we?
- Mm-hmm.

1925
01:25:02,640 --> 01:25:05,060
- Now, do we just drop it in?
- Yeah, you just drop it in.

1926
01:25:07,020 --> 01:25:08,188
All right, to Marty.

1927
01:25:09,606 --> 01:25:10,706
To Marty.

1928
01:25:11,775 --> 01:25:12,875
Bombs away.

1929
01:25:14,444 --> 01:25:15,904
- You gotta drink it fast.
- Please.

1930
01:25:23,036 --> 01:25:24,329
Give it to me.

1931
01:25:28,458 --> 01:25:30,459
- Should we do another?
- No.

1932
01:25:30,460 --> 01:25:31,560
Yeah.

1933
01:25:50,939 --> 01:25:52,773
I saw the screen this morning.

1934
01:25:52,774 --> 01:25:53,858
It looked good.

1935
01:25:53,859 --> 01:25:55,360
- Got 'em all sealed.
- Yeah.

1936
01:25:56,569 --> 01:25:57,669
That's a good stain.

1937
01:25:59,364 --> 01:26:02,324
Think I might do the whole
front porch this summer.

1938
01:26:02,325 --> 01:26:03,535
- Oh yeah?
- Mm-hmm.

1939
01:26:04,452 --> 01:26:05,870
Let me know if you need any help.

1940
01:26:07,038 --> 01:26:08,138
I will.

1941
01:26:13,253 --> 01:26:14,087
You know, Ruis, he said

1942
01:26:14,088 --> 01:26:15,608
you were pretty funny the other night.

1943
01:26:17,757 --> 01:26:19,300
Well, Ruis is awesome.

1944
01:26:20,635 --> 01:26:21,735
He really is.

1945
01:26:30,895 --> 01:26:31,729
- Great.
- Honey.

1946
01:26:31,730 --> 01:26:32,856
- Yay.
- Great.