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Just thought I'd remind you that you are in fact watching a...
[WIND HOWLING]
....Groovilicious Picture
[WIND BLOWING]
[BABY CRYING] [WIND BLOWING]
[CAR SHIFTING GEAR]
[CAR DRIVING] [BABY CRYING]
- Look, I'll tell you when it's safe! [CAR DRIVING]
We just gotta get out of-- [CAR DRIVING]
- ARCHIE, WATCH!!! [CAR DRIVING]
[CAR SWERVING]
[CAR CRASHES]
[BABY CRYING]
[A TRAIN APPROACHING] [BABY CRYING]
[TRAIN SCREECHING] [BABY CRYING]
[TRAIN SCREECHING]
[♬ MUSIC ♬] [TRAIN SCREECHING]
[♬ MUSIC ♬]
- Most... puzzling
That by his compassion, all will suffer...
...yet by his cruelty, none will suffer.
It is the contradiction which plagues me!
I, too, by his compassion suffer
By his mission to heal...
...I am sick!
In observing him, I find his beauty most grotesque!
His solace is my choas;
and if that chaos is allowed to continue...
The consequences scarcely bear thinking about.
He must be stopped.
[STATIC DISTORTION]
- Okay...
It's on! Okay, so...
I've made a pretty big breakthrough since our last trial
and as a result, I've decided the search for a Tachyon Particle is no longer viable
To make an analogy...
So there's a train... moving towards you... a mile away
...and you know, if you just stand there...
...with it moving towards you...
...it's eventually going to hit you.
Well, you would have enough time to react by stepping out of the way before it hit you
But let's say I slowed down the speed of light: See, there's the problem!
You only know the train is moving toward you because you see the light bouncing off the train;
You wouldn't know when the train is a mile away, you would know when the train used to be a mile away.
and by the time you know the train used to be a mile away...
...there is an invisible train,
moving directly towards you,
and you don't know it's coming until it's too late.
So alternatively, Dr. Kaku (brilliant guy)
He comes up with "Field String Theory," the notion that there is a multiverese
composed of multiple universes, each one with its own number of dimensions
That's oversimplifying it, and leaving out quite a bit,
but sure; we'll go with that.
To make an analogy,
Textbook example!
So you might have a choice,
one particularly pleasant midwestern morning,
between eating either an apple or an orange for breakfast.
Let's say you choose...
...the orange.
granted, that's a horrible choice, because oranges are really sour
and citrussy and gross, but we'll go with that.
Well, you choosing the orange created a parellel universe,
where you chose the apple instead.
Both universes exist (one where you chose the orange, and one where you chose the apple),
but history goes off in completely different directions from that point onwards.
Everything before is the same, but the point where you made that choice?
History goes off into completely different directions from then on.
And it's the existance of these parellel universes that allow me to break the rules, okay!
Let's say I jump out of my universe briefly, then jump into another one briefly.
See, I can now jump into that universe whenever I want!
The laws of physics? They say we can't go back in time, but here's the thing:
There aren't laws of physics outside the universe!
So I can jump out of my universe,
Then briefly enter another one, so I can slingshot myself off of it--
[SCREAMING]
--I could jump back into my universe whenever I want to!
Nothing is ruling I can't go to the past!
And I really hope this works, because I'm about to go outside
and test out this theory.
So...
Here goes nothing!
[STATIC DISTORTION]
(CHECKING CAMERA) Hello...
Um... that's probably fine.
So, uh, Trial 7! Basic modifications;
I have made this suit, uh, this synthetic fabric--
[STATIC DISTORTION]
(CHECKING CAMERA) Perfect!
So trial number 7! Control variables:
I have placed this camera here, to record any evidence of successful time-travel
should it occur, at this time of 8:00 EST.
I will not step in front of it between now and 9:00 PM.
If I do not appear on this footage, it can be assumed the trial was a failure.
[STATIC DISTORTION]
-- versus what we were doing before, of changing the atomic structure of light around me
In order to do that (because I want it to follow me as closely as possible),
the machine is now portable.
Control Variables:
Basically, as you can see from rewatching this footage,
this was set up at 8:00.
[STATIC DISTORTION]
As you can see, at no point have I stepped in front of this camera
between 8:00 and this present moment.
Um... I'm going to attempt to go back in time, to 8:00 this morning.
Nothing more to say, really; Let's just go test this.
(COUNTING DOWN) 3...
...2...
...1!
[TIME WARPING]
[TRAIN SCREECHING]
[TIME WARPING]
[HITS THE GROUND]
Holy shit.
[CAR DRIVING PAST]
Holy shit!
Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, holy shit!!!
Wait-wait-wait-wait...
It's 8:00.
It's 8:00!
Holy fuck, it's 8:00!!
[LAMP BUZZING]
[POWER OUTAGE]
[REMOVING CAMERA] It's 8-O-fuck-in'-clock!
Wooooooooo!!!
It's 8:00!!
[VICTORY SPRINTING]
It's 8-O-Clock!!
Break open the sarsparilla, the time machine works!!
Wooooooooo!!!
Wait a minute...
[MUTTERING]
That's right... the camera...
The camera... the camera!!
[PANICKED SPRINTING]
[HYPERVENTILATING]
Okay...
[REATTACHING CAMERA] Come on baby...
Come on... I need you to match up!
I could have just erased my own future! I mean, god...
Yeah, because the camera not being there...
...the camera not being there, that's a completely different future!
If my future didn't exist, I wouldn't exist...
...but then if I didn't exist, I couldn't move the camera in the first place,
but then if I didn't move the camera, my future would exist, then I would exist...
...but then if I did exist, then I wouldn't exist...
...but if I didn't exist, then I would exist...
Either way, existence is impossible! If the universe can't exist...
Well, it didn't happen! So there's no need to worry about it!
Didn't happen, didn't happen... There's no need to worry about it!
I can't see this footage.
[MUTTERING]
[STATIC DISTORTION]
[FAUCET RUNNING]
[MUG SHAKING]
It was cold...
...really fuckin' cold.
It wasn't like I saw or I heard anything
I mean, I actually coulnd't see or hear anything,
I didn't have eyes or ears!
B-b-but I could... sense things?
It's not exactly very specific scientific data to go off of
But then again, I didn't get anything specific, just...
...these weird fragmented images! Like, there was...
...a beach...
but no-one was swimming.
There was...
[♬ MUSIC ♬]
...a bridge, but no cars were crossing it...
...there were these woods...
...but no birds or crickets chirping, or anything like that.
There was... a street...
[MUTTERING]
There was no children, playing outside!
It was a world made out of...
...contradictions!
Like the thoughtless incoherent ramblings of a madman!
And it wasn't like I arrived or departed from any of these places!
It was like I was already there; Like I had always been there!
Or... something.
It could have been a glimpse; of some other place,
some other destination, some other horizon...
There are all sorts of explanations for what I saw:
Fragmented moments in time, stress-induced hallucinations,
heaven... hell... who gives a shit?
It makes no difference; I don't like any explanation more than the other.
I didn't particularly like any of the places more than the other either,
I mean, none of them had any order!! None of them made any fuckin' sense...
[STOMPS OFF]
...I wanted to go back to where things made sense, and there was order, and fuckin'...
[♬ MUSIC ♬]
[FAUCET RUNNING]
But I couldn't come back...
[THUDS]
I couldn't come back...
[MUTTERING]
...I wanted to go back, to where people swam at beaches,
and cars crossed bridges,
where birds chirped in the woods, and children played outside,
You know? Where things made sense.
But I couldn't. I was trapped; I was...
...I was alone.
Or at least I hoped I was alone; I pray to god I was alone,
otherwise what was lookin' at me?
It's like one of those weird dreams, where you can see through your point-of-view,
but you can see yourself!
But this wasn't a dream! I could see through my eyesight!
Through my own eyes, I could see myself!
But was it me!?
Was I looking at me, or was something else looking at me?
Was someone else -- something else there, watching me?
[DISTORTION]
[MUG SHAKING]
[GULPS DRINK]
[HYPERVENTILATES]
[STATIC DISTORTION]
[BREATHING SUIT]
Okay, so uh... trial 8:
I added a static-resistant leather,
I-I-I rearranged the gloves that way, should absorb any gravity pulse.
Um, I also added a temporal bank... monitor...
You don't have a clue what that means, because I'm speaking gibberish!
Here, let me turn it on...
There we go! Okay, there we go! See this is what I'm talking about.
You're seeing out of my goggles right now.
Basically, this is just to archive any data I might get outside the universe
(although I doubt we'll get anything).
I've also made the temporal positioning system more geographically specific.
In simple idjit english, it means I'll arrive at the same location when I get back.
I also installed this temporal bank monitor;
basically, I want to see (with these bars)
[BATTERY BEEPING] how much potential energy I have stored up at any given time.
That's important, because I need 2½ to make a complete there-and-back jump.
If I tried to jump with only 1, or something... I'm not...
I'm not actually sure what would happen...
and I'm not particularly eager to find out, so we'll just... we'll just avoid that.
[BANGING AGAINST DOOR]
(KLATOS) What the fu--?
[DOOR THRUST OPEN]
What the ass!?
- What the ass! - (KLATOS) What the ass!?
- Fucking jesus!
- (KLATOS) Who'd you fuck!? - Alright, you can stop now.
- (KLATOS) Who the hell are you!?
- Well obviously I'm you, dumb ass!
- (KLATOS) But are you, like... me!?
- As opposed to your mother?
- (KLATOS) Oh no! Please let my hypothesis be wrong!
- What are you talking about?
- (KLATOS) How the hell did you even get here!?
- Well, from the closet of course!
- (KLATOS) Did the time machine break?
- What?
- (KLATOS) Did you accidentally teleport into my closet?
- Where?
- (KLATOS) Am I a schizophrenic??
- Why?
- (KLATOS) Wait, what?
- Look, you'll understand what's going on in a couple of minutes
- (KLATOS) I do not understand what's going on right now, motherfucker!!
- But you will!
- (KLATOS) Will !?
-Will you!?
[BATTERY BEEPING]
- Oh yeah! That's right!
- (KLATOS) Wait-wait-wait! What's right!?
- You'll find out. - (KLATOS) Huh!?
- (KLATOS) Where the hell are you going!?
- (KLATOS) God dammit! Dr. Klatos, you still haven't told me how--
[BULB TURNS ON]
[BATTERY BEEPING]
[TIME WARPING]
[TRAIN SCREECHING]
[TIME WARPING]
[DOOR THRUST OPEN]
- What the ass!?
- (KLATOS) What the ass! - What the ass!?
- (KLATOS) Fucking jesus!
- Who'd you fuck!? - (KLATOS) Alright, you can stop now.
- Who the hell are you!?
- (KLATOS) Well obviously I'm you, dumb ass!
- But are you, like... me!?
- (KLATOS) As opposed to your mother?
- Oh no! Please let my hypothesis be wrong!
- (KLATOS) What are you talking about?
- How the hell did you even get here!?
- (KLATOS) Well, from the closet of course!
- Did the time machine break?
- (KLATOS) What?
- Did you accidentally teleport into my closet?
- (KLATOS) Where?
- Am I a schizophrenic??
- (KLATOS) Why?
- Wait, what?
- (KLATOS) Look, you'll understand what's going on in a couple of minutes
- I do not understand what's going on right now, motherfucker!!
- (KLATOS) But you will!
- Will !?
-(KLATOS) Will you!?
[BATTERY BEEPING]
- (KLATOS) Oh yeah! That's right!
- Wait-wait-wait! What's right!?
- (KLATOS) You'll find out. - Huh!?
- Where the hell are you going!?
[BATTERY BEEPING]
- God dammit! Dr. Klatos, you still haven't told me how--
[TIME WARPING]
[TRAIN SCREECHING]
[TIME WARPING]
[THRUSTS DOOR OPEN]
[OUTSIDE WIND]
- (A) Alright, guys, so... um...
it would appear me travelling through time must have radically altered all this shit.
I go to his mall all the fuckin' time! This is not how it's arranged! Th-th-that...
That building right there is on the other side of the street! It's supposed to be way over there!
Way the fuck over there! I don't know what it's doing here!
And there's supposed to be a movie theatre right here, but no! There's just empty shops for fucking miles!
So I'm not entirely sure what the fuck is...
[♬ MUSIC ♬]
Hey!
[BATTERY BEEPING]
Hey you!
- (B) What point in our timeline is this for you? - (A) The fucking present!
- (B) You're certain of that?
- (A) I haven't time travelled at all, for me this is the present!
- (B) You believe the period you are currently in is the present?
- (A) Did I stutter!? Yes!
- (A) You're sure of that?
- (B) Do you think I, a grown ass man, would not recognize my own time period!!??
- (B) Do you?
- (A) Do I what?
- (B) Do you recognize the period you are currently in as your present?
- (A) No... I don't.
- (B) Well, it's funny you should say that, because I do recognize it.
I haven't time travelled in over 3 weeks.
So which of us is in the wrong time?
- (A) How can it be both our present? - (B) What did you do?
- (A) Okay, in order to fix this we need to figure out what we did in the three hours since we met each other,
or at least it's been three hours for me, how long's it been for you?
- (B) I've never met you before in my life!
- (A) What!?
W-w-what do you mean? - (B) I've never met any future or past version of myself!
- (A) Well then, how could we have met!?
- (B) We haven't!
Or at least we haven't yet, is it possible we met at a later point in time?
- (A) Oh god! Of all the points in history I could have erased!
- (B) Was your tempometer fully charged? - (A) Oh god!
- (B) Do you mean to tell me the universe is damaged -- - (A) Oh god!
- (B) --because you forgot to charge the tempometer? - (A) Oh god!
- (B) That wasn't just one point in history you altered! That was two points on two timelines!
Heck, seeing as you were two different people at that point in time,
you might as well have altered two points on two timelines!
Do you realize how exponential a paradox that is!?
I think you've created a paradox that is now slowly destroying the universe;
How else can you explain how we can both be here!?
- (A) Because the laws of physics are slowly destroying themselves!
- (B) That's exactly what's happening, you idiot!
- (A) Well, what do we do!? - (B) I'm gonna fix this.
- (A) Wha... wait... wait, where are you going!? - (B) I'm gonna fix this!
- (A) No, you can't go!! - (B) I have to!
- (A) We can't risk making anymore changes to the timeline!!
- (B) I can't just sit back and watch this happen!
- (A) No, wait! How do we know we'll even end up anywhere!?
Okay, how do we even know the laws of physics that make it so you can time travel even still exist!?
You might try to travel somewhere and just dissapear!
For the love of god, don't go!!
[RUNNING]
Wait!!
[TIME WARPING]
[TRAIN SCREECHING]
[TIME WARPING]
- (B) What the fuck!?
[♬ MUSIC ♬]
Why's the mall in the wrong place?
[MASK SLIDES OFF]
So here's my current understanding of history, from my point of view.
I was born here.
I begin...
my temporal research for NASA here.
I publish my findings, on black hole jumping, here.
And the Soviets follow suit here.
So this is my current understanding of history.
However, there are several contradictions to it, in its current form.
Now this timeline has something called "internet."
So using that I was able to determine where most of these key points are.
It would appear the Soviets were disbanded in 1991;
Which means this... never happened.
Now looking through this test footage, I was able to determine how far along this version of me's research is.
and he's only sustained a successful fusion reaction as recently as two days ago.
Which means... he certainly doesn't have government funding at this point,
Which means this... never happened.
The only other trace of myself I was able to find of myself on this timeline is...
an arrest and some missing person reports.
which means, me not being exactly prominent, this certainly... never happened.
Um...
- (A) So basically, I was born... my life was... you know what, it was never an engaging read anyway
But you know what is far more interesting is your...
your...
my alternate version's history is like a treasure trove, of just purely interest...
Come on...
Oh shit, I keep forgetting you don't have the internet in your timeline for some reason,
But you do have...
...plenty of Enclyclopedias, as well as several other quite revealing books.
I mean... you literally have a memoir!! I have a--
I have a fucking memoir! Wha--!?
Like it says right here, as early as 2007, I was working with NASA to do this?
And I, like... I publish my findings in 2014.
And, like... the Soviet union followed up with, like, their own version of time travel,
Then I was like "wait, huh? The Soviet Union's still a thing?" So...
Basically, the entire history of everything has gone to shit, and it's...
...bad! To say the least!
[OPENS RERIGERATOR]
- (B) Thank goodness there is still beer...
[SHUTS REFRIGERATOR]
otherwise the world would really be ending.
[DRAGS CHAIR]
I wonder if, uh...
...you're meddling altered the taste of artifically flavored sweeteners.
I hope not. But... we'll find out.
[CHUGS BEER]
under the universe's current predicament, the alcohol industry is safe.
You, um... take it with one of those little umbrellas?
Or is that just me?
[FAUCET RUNNING]
- (A) Ow! God dammit!
[TURNS WATER OFF]
Shit!
[SETS MUG DOWN]
[STIRS DRINK]
At least you still have hot chocolate, otherwise the world would really be ending, wouldn't it?
- (B) I may not look like a terrified man, Klatos,
but rest assured...
I'm a terrifiied man.
I mean, you didn't exactly leave me much to work with.
With how little you've done, it makes trying to find any given point
(let alone the one we're actually looking for) a wild goose chase;
So... in short, the last couple hours have not exactly been very productive.
They were, however, incredibly fascinating.
I still can't believe you guys had a black president in this timeline.
Let alone, a tangerine sex offender.
And, um... the... the, um...
I think you call it... "int-ER-net?"
It sayed you guys haven't been to the moon since the 70s?
Oh boy, which means...
There probably isn't a Catherine in your...
...in your timeline, right?
Wow...
If it hadn't been for the Lunar Spring of '09, I never woulda...
...I never woulda met her.
We certainly would have never gotten married, we never would have bought this house...
...and she never would have died...
...along with my daughter.
[CHUGS BEER]
Yeah of all the things for your universe not... to have...
...a Lunar Spring really shouldn't be one of them.
This place is so...
...unnatural.
"Like the thoughtless incoherent visions of a madman."
Breckson, Sonnet 8.
- (A) I mean, can you imagine?
The US Government, armed with the knowldege of time travel?
The same US Government that... you know, kept, you know...
...Tricky Dick safe, for a number of years.
The same US Government that lied about what was going on in vietnam for three whole decades.
The same US Government that casually went, "here! Here's three billion dollars," to Al Queda!!
Which resulted in certain regrettable... events.
That lot... armed with the knowledge of time travel,
and... and... what? You allowed it!?
Wh-- why do you think I went off the grid!?
Why do you think I tried to invent all this within the confines of my own home!?
I know I'm only going to use time travel for good, But what does someone else want?
What does someone else intend to do? I don't know, cuz I'm not them, that's why no-one else can have it!!
But you don't care, do you!?
You don't care! All you care about is yourself!
You don't care about anyone! You don't love anyone or anything except for yourself,
and you never have, have you?
- (B) You know, I can't quite say I'm proud of this version of me's lack of ambition.
Let alone his carelessness!
A couple minutes ago, a static blast went off behind me! You wanna know what it was?
You (my "friend") tried to make...
a miniaturized fusion reactor, out of a fucking pot.
Who does that!?
If something that reckless was the safety conditions of an experiment in my lab, you'd be shut down in a week.
If you're not careful, one of these days, you're gonna get yourself killed.
Or worse, me.
You wanna know...
You wanna know why I invented time travel?
You wanna... actually, here; let me just... Let me just read you a little list here.
I'll just read it off, I'm sure you'll figure out what it is.
Real engaging, here. For your cynical brain, you might find this entertaining:
Carthage... 149 BC... 150,000.
China... 350 AD... 200,000.
France... 1209 AD... 1 Million men, women, and children.
Slain.
America... 1492 AD... 114,882,000.
Africa... 1500... 60 Million.
Ukraine, Belerus, Meldova... 1648... 100,000.
Ireland, 1649, 618,000 China, 1755, 600,000
Tazmania, 1825, 1,000
Ireland, 1835, 1 Million New Zealand, 1835, 1,900
Russia, 1872, 1,500,000
Chile, Tierra Del Fuego, 19th Century; 3,900.
[FLIPS PAGE]
That is just the first page... you son of a bitch.
In total... my friend, there have been:
215,287,296
lives... stolen... without choice...
Lives they cherished.
Lives I'm sure they would have done great damn things with.
Taken in acts of genocide.
One of them might have had the fucking cure for cancer!!
Another one, for Tinnitus.
bet another one would have done something great, might have been the next fucking Picasso,
But we'll never know, will we!?
See, this is why I invented time travel!
I wanna save:
215,287,296
...different people.
You only wanna save one.
- (B) Who said that?
- (A) Who said that?
- (B) Is there someone else here? - (A) Is someone in my house?
- (B) Hang on, what do you mean your house!?
- (A) Where are you? - (B) Where am I!?
- (A) I'm warning you, I've got an encyclopedia!
- (B) And I have an erection! How's either relevant?
- (A) Quit stalling, or I'm calling the police! - (B) You think you're calling the police!?
- (A) I don't think, I--
- (B) Oh that much is clear.
- (A) Where are you!? - (B) I'm right here!
Standing in the kitchen, right here on the nice hardwood floor!
Care to join me!? It's fairly fucking comfortable!
- (A) What!?
- (B) A bullet to your ass, that's what!
- (A) You're in the kitchen too?
- (B) Unless there's another kitchen I've just gone 10 years without knowing about in my house,
I think you should probably assume that!!
- (A) But you... but you can't see me? - (B) Would I be screaming if I could see you?
- (A) I can't see you either, where are you? - (B) Where's my cholo ass!?
Where the hell are you, motherfucker!?
- (A) You're voice sounds familiar...
- (B) Have you been stalking me? - (A) What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
- (B) A stripper, does that answer your question!?
- (A) Were you at a movie theater?
- (B) How'd you know that hooligan? - (A) I was at a movie theatre too!
- (B) Yeah, was it an adult theatre, you creep!?
- (A) Is your name Klatos? - (B) Jerkoff, I'm warning you!
- (A) Cuz that's my name!
- (B) Did we meet at a movie theatre 15 minutes ago?
- (A) It's you. - (B) Last time I checked! Jesus fucking christ!
- (A) Where are you? I can't see you. - (B) I can't see you either...
I can just hear you.
(A) I'm in the kitchen of my house, but everything is wrong!
- (B) Oh really!? - (A) Yeah, there's beer in it!!
- (B) I...
It sounds like... I'm in what I can only assume is your version of the kitchen, and...
..,you're in mine.
- (A) How can we be in each other's kitchen? - (B) A Tea Party! How the fuck should I know!?
- (A) So... you're in my version of the kitchen?
- (B) Unless I just fail to remember the 64 bottles of Sarsparilla in my fridge!
- (A) And... I'm in yours?
- (B) Is there a drawing by a little girl on the fridge?
- (A) Yeah, yeah! - (B) It's mine!
- (A) But how can both our timelines exist simultaneously?
- (B) How does Kim Kardashian make her living!? We may never know!
That's not important!! What's important is that we fix this!
- (A) Alright, okay... so what have we found out?
- (B) Well, for one, you're a fucking loser!
- (A) Funny, I was just thinking the same thing about you.
- (B) You're lucky I can't break your nose through these timelines.
- (A) You sold our research to the military!!
- (B) Yes, and?
- (A) And, um... you don't... think that's just...
a little bit, oh I don't know, fucking stupid!!??
- (B) You're right. You're right. 11 Million Dollar net worth...
Such a bad investment, I could have gone highter.
- (A) You're a traitor to everything I invented time travel for!
- (B) Wait, can you imagine what time travel could accomplish with government funding!?
- (A) I can imagine what I'm going to do to your neck!
- (B) That's not important, you mushroom!!
What's imporant is that we focus, so that we can fix this!!
- (A) Alright, so we know... my timeline's fucked, and your timeline's fucked,
and they're pretty much double fucking each other, it's a big old threesome; so what the fuck do we do now?
- (B) Alright? We're gonna focus now, right?
- (A) Hm? What do we do now? Mr. big ol' fucking genius! Mr...
fucking Carl Sagan over here. What the fuck do we do now? Hm? Hm? Hm?
You have all the answers, Guru!
- (B) You ready to fucking focus!?
- (A) You care to say something, because I am doing no better on ideas here.
- (B) Huh? You deaf and dumb!? Or both!?
- (A) You still there?
- (B) What's the matter, you can't talk to me now?
Did I hurt your feelings? Is that how it is?
- (A) Yoo-hoo!
Earth to... earth to Klatos.
- (B) Klatos! Yoo-hoo! Buddy!?
[CLAPS] Come in...
- (B) Klatos?
Klatooos!
Klatos?
Klatos!?
Oh shit, Klatos! I think we're dissconnecting!
Look, if you can still hear me, stay there!
- (A) Still there!?
Wait, are you still there?
Shit!! Shit, he's gone! I gotta get back there!
- (B) Okay, if you can hear me, seriously!! Stay there!!
- (A) Alright, I just gotta jump back into his timeline...
- (B) I'm serious! You moving around could do more harm then good, just stay there!
[MUTTERING]
I'm serious, the universe might not even have enough structure so that you could make a time jump,
Without just being... destroyed or something, just stay there!!
[BATTERY BEEPING]
- (A) Come on, come on! Don't die on me now! Shit!!
- (B) Jesus christ, this is...
- (A) That's okay, you're just gonna sit here... and wait for it to recharge!
Right? Big scientists don't panic, you're just gonna sit here... and wait for it to recharge.
Oh fuck...
Shit! It'll never charge in this timeline! The timelines are out of sync! Two different temporal energies!
I'm stuck here.
- (B) Shit...
I have to stay here too!
[STOMPS FOOT]
[SNATCHES MUG]
[SNATCHES BEER]
[CHUGS BEER]
[STATIC DISTORTION]
Okay, guys, this is my super duper plan
to recharge my Tempometer, get back to my timeline, and... um...
save the universe.
Granted, it's drawn on this shitty piece of notebook paper.
It's not like I had a diagram laying around!
So what I need to do,
for my Temporal Relocator to even work, so that I can time travel,
I need Temporal Energy from this timeline.
So if I break into a nearby nuclear power plant
I might be able to recharge it!
That's...
breaking an entering
It's not like it's the first time I've done that,
but it's the first time I've done it with the risk of death... we'll avoid that.
So yeah; break into a nuclear power plant, get some nuclear energy,
recharge my Tempometer, and get the fuck back to my timeline.
Yeah, that's the plan... we'll see what happens.
So I still need to make some slight modificaitons to the suit
I find welding equipment, and I can make most of them,
but I need a temporary holding agent.
Just something easily removable, like duct tape.
Actually, um...
...I haven't looked in there.
[DOOR CREAKS OPEN]
Looks fun!
[BULB TURNS ON]
This probably is as good a place as anywhere else to find duct tape...
What's this? What's...
Probably just somebody he loves.
I don't know.
What's this?
[VHS STATIC]
[♬ WEDDING MUSIC ♬]
[♬ MUSIC ♬] [VHS STATIC]
- (A) ...wasn't always such a jackass was he?
[CROWS CAWING] [CRICKETS CHIRPING]
- (B) So, Aria... you may be too young to fully appreciate this,
but, um... you know, the significance of these woods right here:
This is actually where I took your mom on our first date! That's right!
We came back on a routine trip to earth, just for a weekend,
and I thought "wouldn't it be nice to go hiking out here?" And we were--
[VHS DISTORTION]
[♬ MUSIC ♬]
Hey... hey, buddy, you alright? Can I help you?
No, wait a minute... no, that's not possible!
Whoa!!
Wait, wait, wait, wait! Buddy, where'd you go!? Is this a joke!?
Yo! Is this a joke!?
[RUNNING]
- (B) Catherine!! Catherine, come on! - (CATHERINE) Archie, what's wrong?
- Grab Aria, we gotta to go! We gotta go! - Why? What's happening? You're scaring me!
- Look, I'll explain when it's safe, we just gotta go right now, okay?
- (ARIA) Dad, where are the birds?
- (B) Look, Aria-Aria? We gotta go right now, okay? Let's go to the car, okay? Let's go...
[CAR DOOR SLAMS SHUT] - Come on, come on! Let's go!
[STARTS CAR]
- Leave the seatbelt, let's just go! - (CATHERINE) Where are we going?
[CAR DRIVING] - Look, I'll tell you... we just gotta get out of here right now, okay?
- Archie, slow down... slow down, you're scaring me! Stop the car!!
- Look, I'll tell you when it's safe!
We just gotta get out of--
- ARCHIE, WATCH!!!
[CAR SWERVING]
[CAR CRASHES]
[CAR EXHAUST]
- Catherine?
[♬ FUNERAL MUSIC ♬]
Catherine, why aren't you moving?
Catherine... Aria... why aren't you moving?
[VHS DISTORTION]
I remember when you used to...
It's been gettin' weird tryin' to sleep lately, because I remember you used to...
...curl up into a ball, to stay warm.
The... fuckin' vent up there has never been particularly well positioned:
Right on your face!
I would always... I remember, I would always curl around, and just reach me arm around you.
It got harder as the months went by, because your stomach got bigger and bigger.
And I would, um... just...
...curl your hair behind your ear. You didn't like it to tickle your nose while you were sleeping
I remember when the airbag deflated.
Any hope I had you'd... survived was pretty much gone by that point.
I remember the cops askin' all those stupid fuckin' questions.
They wouldn't let me say goodbye to you; nope they just whisked you off in a bodybag!
like you were cream cheese, or something.
I remember havin' to call your...
...mother, and tell her both our baby girls were dead; because of...
That was the worst day of my life.
I remember the stupid fuckin' suishi they served.
I mean, it was terrible. It was, like... sour. Like, old sour!
You would hated it, Cathy, I mean...
But your stupid, bloated ass sister-in-law and the fuckin' caterer insisted on it.
No, no! They just had to have their fuckin' suishi. Huh.
When it was, um... my turn...
I came over to the coffin and I...
...brushed your hair behind your ear. Because...
...you were gonna be all alone now...
...and there'd be no-one to do it later, so...
Six feet under for all eternity is an awfully long time for...
...your nose to tickle.
Why do human beings waste their time with love? I mean...
By design, it doesn't last. I mean...
Take us for instance! I mean...
You were always going to be gone eventually, and if it wasn't you it would've been me! So...
I mean... love? It's for losers!
It's a losers game! It's a game where all you do is lose...
You know, because you let your guard down, and then you trust somebody,
[SMACKING HEAD] and somebody uses that to hurt you.
For instance, they don't stick around!
But see, th-that... that's what's so fuckin' confusing!
Catherine, I mean, you didn't choose not to stick around!
It wasn't like Jack up and leaving, it wasn't like Carrie up and leaving, it wasn't like your fuckin' parents, no!
No, you didn't choose not to leave; your choice was taken from you
by some jackass runnin' around in the woods or something!!
[SMACKS PICTURE]
[COUGHS]
[PICKS UP PICTURE]
[SETS DOWN PICTURE]
[MUTTERING]
I... I don't know if this tape will still exist...
...afterward...
I don't even know if I'll still exist afterward, but if...
If... if... if you're watchin' this it means it worked.
I can... see, I can do this for you; You're... just... it wasn't your time...
Wasn't fair, wasn't fair... wasn't fair.
I can break the laws of physics, I can do that only for you, Catherine, because...
...wasn't your time, wasn't your time, wasn't fair...
And if you're watchin' this, it means it worked; I saved you.
If you're watchin' this, I'm glad you're watchin' this! Because...
Maybe you'll get why...
...I'm not exactly the Archie that you remember.
He was taken from you.
By the same jackass that took you away from me.
And if I ever see him again...
...It'll be the last time anybody sees him.
[MUTTERING]
How many uh thessssingsss...
Have I been drinkin'?
[GULPS BEER]
They're not that good...
They certainly... don't make me forget you, Catherine.
They don't tell me howda bring you back to life
Without makin' a big friggin' paradox, no!!
But you know... what they do tell me, Catherine?
Who gives a rat's ass about paradoxes?
I didn't marry a paradox!
I didn't marry a paradox!!
I married a damn ass-kickin' woman!!
[THUDS AGAINST GROUND]
Ca... c-Catherine? Catherine!?
Catherine!!
Help me Catherine!!
[INCOMPREHENSIBLE]
Help me Cath... Come back to me, Catherine!!!!
Catherine? Cather...
[TIME WARPING]
[TRAIN SCREECHING]
[TIME WARPING]
[HITS COUNTER]
- (A) Ah, god...
- (B) Is that you Catherine?
- (A) Klatos! Kla--!!
[HOPS DOWN]
Klatos, Klatos! It's me!
- (B) Oh... it's "you."
- (A) What are you doing on the ground? Here, here. Let me help you up...
Come on, come on...
Klatos, I know what's wrong with the universe!
- (B) Yeah, you're in it.
- (B) Actually, yes!
- (B) The... fuck... is... that... supposed to mean?
- (A) Look, the universe isn't unravelling, it never was to begin with--
- (B) Wait, t' fuck are you wearinga bathrobe for?
- (A) Oh, um... I-I broke into a nuclear power plant to steal some energy,
got shot at by some guards, ran, I lost a couple calories,
That's not the point! The point is, there is no time paradox!
[LAUGHS]
- (B) Wait... a minute... that's not right...
...cuz then why...
Hang on...
Then why... would our... timelines... both exist?
- (A) There aren't... there aren't two timelines!
There are two parellel universes!
- (B) Huh?
- (A) Look, when I left mine, my tempometer wasn't fully charged
So I didn't have enough energy to make a "there" and "back" stringjump.
I only had enough energy to jump there!
Then... when we met, that was a temporally momentous occasion,
So that event must have drained your tempometer (that's when you stormed off in the dark alley)
and then you only had enough energy to make a jump "here!"
So I ended up in your universe...
...and you ended up in mine.
Which is here!
- (B) Oh, yeah...
- (A) Look, I'm back I'm supposed to be. But now we need to get you back to your universe, so let's--
- (A) Are you drunk!?
- (B) No...
I mean...
...No...
I mean...
- (A) How are you supposed to operate a time machine drunk!?
[VOMITTY NOISES]
You know what? You know what!!? It's fine; everything is fine,
as long as we get you back there? Everything is fine. Everything is dandy!
- (B) Go back?
- (A) Yeah... yeah, go back.
Go back...
Except--
- (GUARD) Put your hands where I can see them!!
- (GUARD) Put them up!!
- (A) Shit!! Some extra energy must have brought her--
- (GUARD) Shut up, Cholo!!
You have five seconds tell me where the fuck I am,
Why the fuck I'm here,
and what the fuck happened to the power plant!!
- (A) Make a run for it? - (B) Sounds fun!
[GUNFIRE]
[CAMERA RINGING]
- (A) Okay the door is... Kuh... kuh... kuh... kuh!!
Klato !? Where are you!?
Klatos? Klatos!?
Klatos!! Get the fuck back over here!!
[GUNFIRE]
[INCOMPREHENSIBLE DRUNK MUTTERING]
[LOADS CHAMBER]
(GUARD) Freeze!!
I said freeze!!
[GUNFIRE]
[RICOCHET]
- (A) You fuckin' idiot!
- (B) Aren't you the one that brought her here!?
- (A) It was an accident!!
- (B) Oh! Well maybe she's just "accidentally" shooting at us!!
[GUNFIRE]
...thun of a bitth
- (A) In less then a second--
- (B) Huh?
-- (A) We need to get through that closed door, and leave. Are you ready?
[INCOMPREHENSIBLE]
Are you ready or not, cholo!?
- (B) Um, buh... bun...
Yeah, yeah... alright, yeah.
- (A) Okay, okay! On three, on three! Ready?
One...
Two...
[LOADS CHAMBER]
...Three!!
[GUNFIRE]
[STUMBLING]
[CAMERA RINGING]
[GUNFIRE]
[TRIPPING]
- (GUARD) You bastards can't run forever!!
[SPRINTING]
- (A) Is there a Westchester Street in your universe? - (B) Yeah...
- (A) Split up!!
[RUNNING]
[CHASING]
[B, RUNNING]
- (B) Where are you!?
Where are you, Catherine!?
[DISTORTION]
[BABY CRYING]
[KLATOS, SCREAMING]
[BABY CRYING]
[DISTORTION] [BABY CRYING]
[WIND BLOWING]
[DISTORTION]
- (GUARD) Get up, degenrate!
- (KLATOS) God dammit...
Couldn't you have aimed for the head, like a normal person? - (GUARD) Couldn't you have died, like a normal person?
- (KLATOS) I've been askin' myself that question a lot lately.
- (GUARD) Aw, poor you.
Don't worry... "momma's" gonna make that wish come true.
- (KLATOS) Oh, joy... - (GUARD) Get up. Go on, get up!
- (KLATOS) Alright, god!
[DISTORTION]
- (GUARD) So this is what we're gonna do...
You're gonna tell me where the fuck I am, and why the fuck I'm here...
...and them I'm gonna kill you.
- (KLATOS) That's... one possible tradeoff. - (GUARD) Why do you sound like him?
- (KLATOS) Like who? - (GUARD) The other one; the one who broke into the factory!
Why do you sound like him?
- (KLATOS) Hell if I know, beyond "I live in his body."
- (GUARD) What was he doing at the plant?
- (KLATOS) What plant? - (GUARD) The power plant he broke into last night!
- (KLATOS) I dunno; that's a good question for him. - (GUARD) But I'm asking you. Care to comment?
[LOADS CHAMBER]
- (KLATOS) I... think he mentioned using it to get back here?
- (GUARD) What do you mean, get back here?
- (KLATOS) You wouldn't understand. - (GUARD) What I don't understand, motherfucker,
is why two people that look exactly alike kidnapped me!
- (KLATOS) Hold on, we didn't kidnap you! You were swept along in the stringjump, complete accident!
- (GUARD) String jump!? - (KLATOS) It's what we use to travel between universes.
- (GUARD) I will bust a cap in your ass if you don't quit being a smart ass!!
- (KLATOS) Like I said, bitch, you wouldn't understand!
- (GUARD) Are you tripping? Or are you actually this fucking crazy?
- (KLATOS) I ask myself that same question every morning sweetheart.
- (GUARD) I'm sure you do. [GUNFIRE]
[CROWS FLEEING]
- (KLATOS) You god damn fuckin' bitch pussy!!
- (GUARD) Start talking, shithead, if you like the concept of having children!
- (KLATOS) What do you know about children!?
- (GUARD) I have a little girl that I'm willing to kill to get back to.
- (KLATOS) I would say likewise, except my daughter's dead.
You ever had a child taken from you, officer?
Huh? No...
You don't love a child until you hold them dead in you arms... screaming.
Screaming to god, as to why he would allow this to happen.
That's when you know you really love a child.
People like you, they take their children for granted.
[DISTORTION]
Hope you don't mind if I patch this up, you silver badged bitch.
After all, how could you be called anything else, right? You take life like it has no value...
You do it every day, because it's your job; every day, without question, regretting it never, am I right!?
- (GUARD) I'm not the only one who doesn't know jack shit, motherfucker.
- (KLATOS) I know you wouldn't take it back.
You wouldn't go out on a limb to ressurect any of the people you murdered.
Me, on the other hand?
There isn't a day that goes by where I don't wish I could take back my reckless mistake.
cuz, see, that mistake cost my daughter her life.
[DISTORTION]
She didn't commit a crime. There is that difference.
But what difference is there really?
Cuz, you see, I didn't commit a crime either.
I didn't get behind the wheel of that car intending to kill my daughter,
let alone my wife...
But I did.
I did... and I have to live with that.
I have to wake up every morning, and live with that.
I wake up every morning and march right back into hell all over again!!
The hell of hands bloodied, by the murder of a little girl.
[GLASS SHARDS]
Ha! And while I would try to undo that, what do you do!? You seek it out!!
You go looking for it!!
You must really get off to that kind of pain, which I really highly doubt...
...or you simply are incapable of feeling it!!
You footsoldiers don't have any souls!
- (GUARD) How's the leg? - (KLATOS) It's been worse sweetheart.
- (GUARD) You can wrap it with something, if you like. - (KLATOS) Thank you for your "input"
- (GUARD) You really don't know who I am, do you?
- (KLATOS) Do you still think I kidnapped you, for some reason?
- (GUARD) I was in the power plant, I had some sort of memory lapse,
and when I woke up I was in your kitchen.
- (KLATOS) It wasn't my kitchen.
I mean, it was my kitchen; but it wasn't strictly speaking "my" kitchen.
[DISTORTION] - (GUARD) You're one mixed up motherfucker, man.
- (KLATOS) You have no idea sweetheart.
- (GUARD) Try me.
- (KLATOS) You wouldn't get it. - (GUARD) I'm a smart fuckin' bitch, try me.
[GROANING]
[LAMP]
- (KLATOS) You ever hear of...
[LAMP]
...string theory?
[LAMP]
The notion that there are parellel universes, each one with its own set of dimensions?
- (GUARD) You tryin' to get philisophical, or some shit? - (KLATOS) Yes, god dammit!!
So string theory...
...states there are multiple parellel universes, each one with its own...
Um... you can travel back and forth between them, that's the... that's the theory. So...
Also take, for instance... okay, the laws of physics.
They determine what we can or cannot do,
okay, we are bound to them like slaves.
To alter them would be to play...
god!
See, that's the thing; when you're in a different universe?
You are not bound by god's rules, no. You're playing by a different set of rules.
[LAMP]
Okay, s-s-so other hypothetical here:
Say a time traveller wants to go back in time, and save his dead daughter.
How could he? The laws of physics say that he can't!!
Those are god's rules.
Most of them are pretty fucking cruel, when you actually stop to think about it.
- (GUARD) You don't have to tell me that. - (KLATOS) Oh why? Cuz all you do is enforce them?
[LAMP]
But let's say you love your daughter just that much.
You would not give a fuck about god's rules, you would kill god himself if it brought her back!
[LAMP]
After all, officer... I have achieved the power of god.
I can control life and death as I please.
And I will stop anyone who tries to stand in my way!
- (GUARD) And what if god's the only one that gets in your way?
- (KLATOS) I'll cut him down where he stands.
[SCREECHING] - (GUARD) This seems like one long line of...
hypothetical bullshit, seeing as though you can't bring your daughter back to life.
[LAMP]
- (KLATOS) How many times do I have to tell you?
[SCREAMING WINDS]
I will not be ruled by even the laws of physics anymore.
I defy them.
[SCREAMING WINDS]
I defy god and his rules! I defy the very logic and nature of life itself!
[SCREAMING WINDS] Because it is the logic of life itself that is my enemy!
It is logic itself that stands in my way!
And I will not let anything stand in my way.
[SNATCHES GUN]
[GUNFIRE]
[CROWS FLEE]
[LIMPIING TOWARD HER]
Yeah, how'd that feel sweetheart?
[TURNS OFF SAFETY]
[SCREAMING WINDS]
- (A) Ow! What the hell!? - (B) Take me to them.
- (A) To who? - (B) To Catherine and Aria!
- (A) You know I can't do that.
- (B) Don't tell me what you can or can't do. They're still alive in your universe, right?
- (A) What!? I don't know!!
I don't even know if this universe has a Catherine or an Aria!
- (B) Well then take me to mine! - (A) What!?
- (B) You're gonna take me back to my universe.
and then, you're gonna take me back when they were alive, and then we're gonna bring them back to the present.
Why you still sitting there, jackass? You got a lot of work to do.
- (A) I won't do it.
- (B) You dare to stand in my way?
- (A) Yes. I will...
Because I would stand in the way of anyone who would arm a tyranical machine
With the knowledge of time travel! And to... what, to save your dead daughter?
Look... I saw the photos.
Catherine was a lovely woman--
- (B) Don't talk about her like you knew her!!
- (A) I got to know her...
and you wanna know what I found?
She was a compassionate person. And she loved you because you were the same.
But what horrible things have you done in her name, lately?
Do you think she would want to be alive, knowing the cost?
I won't bring her back because she wouldn't want me to!
She wouldn't wanna live, knowing what her life cost everyone else.
- (B) Do you think I give a fuck what she wants?
This isn't about her, this is about me! This is about what I want! I want her, I will have her!
- (A) Where did you get a second one?
- (B) She had another one on her. - (A) Who?
- (B) The Guard!
- (A) Oh shit! That's right! We gotta bring her back, where is she?
- (B) I told you no one would stand in my way.
- (A) Jesus, do you know how you sound right now?
- (B) Like, a sensible... fucking person... who's thinking straight.
How's that for fuckin' sound!?
- (A) Thinkin' straight!? You haven't been thinkin' straight in a while!
You know what you sound like? You sound like a fuckin' maniac!
- (B) Maniacs? Well... maybe the problem with the world is that there isn't enough maniacs.
- (A) There are plenty of maniacs. You armed the greatest lot of them that ever lived.
- (B) Like you wouldn't to save your daughter!
- (A) Don't you get what would happen?
They would be alive only to die all over again! They'd only live for a brief moment!
- (B) What are you talking about, crackhead? - (A) You would erase, in bringing them back to life,
the event that caused you to create time travel to begin with!
Don't you get it? You'd have no reason to go back and save them!
So then they would die!
But then if they did die, you would invent time travel,
but then if you did invent time travel, you wouldn't invent time travel!!
Don't you get it!!? In your logical fallacy, you would create a paradox that would kill millions of people,
millions of people would die!!
- (B) So let them die!!!
- (A) I won't take you back to your universe. I won't even allow you to live in this one.
- (B) What moral highground do you claim to stand on!?
- (A) The one that says I didn't arm tyranic dictators with the knowledge of time travel!
- (B) Yes you did...
- (A) What are you talking about, smart ass?
- (B) You absolutely did.. you are me, aren't you?
- (A) No... I'm me and you're you; your choices don't reflect on me!
- (B) They don't? They're your choices too. - (A) Oh, and why's that?
- (B) Cuz you chose not to...
[♬ MUSIC ♬]
You said it yourself, right... on that tape? You said it perfectly, like a poet.
Something about an apple and an orange, right?
right, a choice creates two different paths?
Your choice is what created me in the first place,
I wouldn't even exist, if it wasn't for your choice, me and my little universe.
I am every bit as much a reflection of you as you rejecting me is.
Because I'm the very darkness that exist within your tiny self-righteous pretentious little soul.
Everything you are capable of exists within me, I'd say that makes us pretty much square.
- (A) Klatos, I know more about that day than you do.
- (B) No you don't, you weren't there.
[♬ MUSIC ♬]
- (A) Yes I was.
- (B) What the fuck are you talking about?
- (A) You never asked me how I know, that there isn't a time paradox and that there are two sepearte universes?
It's because I was there that day.
The contents on your tape... I watched it. they're the same images I saw,
the first time I ever successfully achieved time travel.
Our method? Right?
I have to jump out into another universe, for a brief second, then jump back into mine?
But.. what's amazing is... of all the days...
Of all the moments I could have landed in your universe at,
I landed in your universe at the exact moment you pulled out that camera
to record me in the woods that day.
You saw me; what you saw that day was me,
the brief moment I jumped into your universe...
...before returning to mine.
That's why I can't bring them back; It would create a massive multiversal paradox.
It's not just one timeline, it's two... that are linked by that moment;
For a brief moment in space in time.
You think I don't have regrets too?
I know you regret that you, driving as fast as you could to get out of there,
was exactly what caused them to die; it's horribly ironic, it really is...
That you trying to save them is what killed them.
And me, trying to save the people of the universe I care about, is what helped kill them too.
You're not the only one with regrets.
We were good men.
Alright, we invented time travel because we were good men.
But look what horrible things we have caused to happen lately...
...in the name of it?
That's the biggest "paradox" of all.
- (B) I... I... I didn't kill Catherine...
- (A) That's right... you don't have to live with that guilt anymore.
- (B) I finally understand...
I didn't kill Catherine...
...you did.
[♬ MUSIC ♬]
- (A) No-one killed Catherine, Klatos, It wasn't anybody's fault!
- (B) You killed Catherine.
- (A) If I had known there was going to be another truck there that day,
I woulda picked a different day, so there was no-one there for you to collide with!
- (B) You killed Catherine.
- (A) Look, this is not we need to focus on right now,
We need to focus on getting you back to your universe, is your tempometer fully charged?
- (B) You killed Catherine... and now...
...I'm gonna kill you right back.
- (A) I can't let you do that, there's too many timelines!
- (B) I can't let you live. - (A) I can't let you save Catherine!
- (B) Well tough luck.
- (A) In the name of Catherine, who would want you to spare me, please! Spare me!
- (B) Spare you? I wouldn't spare you if you were mother fucking Teresa!!
[TACKLES HIM]
[FIGHTING EACH OTHER]
What are you doing?
Stop! No!!
[♬ MUSIC ♬]
So trial number 7! Control variables:
I have placed this camera here, to record any evidence of successful time-travel
- (NIGHT) Nothing more to say, really; Let's just go test this.
- (DAY) If I do not appear on this footage, it can be assumed the trial was a failure.
- (NIGHT) Three...
...two...
...one!
[WIND BLOWING]
[HITS THE GROUND]
Holy shit!
[WIND BLOWING]
[HITS GROUND]
[WIND BLOWING]
[HITS GROUND]
- (B) Fuck... oh my god...
- (A) ...the fuck?
- (A) N-n-n-no! No! No!! Klatos, Klatos!!! Stop!!!
- (B) I'm done lettin' you tell me what to do. - (A) Put the gun down!
- (B) Said the hypocrite holding a gun! - (A) Look, if you shoot him, you can't be here!
Because he won't go on to become me, to invent time travel,
to cause you to create time travel, to be able to come here to kill him in the first place!!
Because if you shoot him, then you can't shoot him, but then if you don't shoot him, then you must shoot him!!
- (B) Enough... of this bullshit!!!
- (A) Don't you get it!? You would create a paradox so infinitely evolving, and exponentially formming,
that it would... it would destroy the multiverse!!
- (B) I don't care.
- (A) Look, if you shoot him, you can't be here!!
- (B) And my daughter will be alive.
- (A) We already established that wouldn't work!! You-fucking-idiot!!
Look, maybe time won't let you alter that moment! Maybe you weren't meant to atler that moment!
Maybe you weren't meant to go back and save them! If you were it definitely wasn't like this!
- (B) Ha!!!
[CAR DRIVING PAST] And what, pray tell, is this!!??
- (A) This... is psychopathism!!
What would Aria say, if she could see you right now!? Huh!?
Do you think her or Catherine will still love you, after this!!?
You're gonna have to shoot them too, because they're gonna be the first to stand in your way!
Do you think Aria would want to live to see her father become a murderer!?
You don't have to do this... just put the gun down!
We'll figure this out, put the gun down! That's it! That's it! Put it down! Put it down.
[DOOR THRUST OPEN]
- (DAY) Yo, it's a fuckin' saturday, shut your...
...damn?
- (NIGHT) Holy fuck!
[LAMP BUZZING]
[LOADS CHAMBER]
- (A) No!!!!!
[GUNFIRE]
[WIND BLOWING]
[MASK DISTORTION]
Where am I?
What is this?
Am I outside the universe!?
Oh my god...
D-d-did I do it?
I did it... I destroyed... the universe.
I destroyed...
Everyone or everyting that ever lived is dead.
I killed them.
No... I couldn't have...
I couldn't have...
- (?) I'm afraid you did.
- (KLATOS) Who are you? - (?) It can be said not "who" am I...
...but it can be said "where" am I.
- (KLATOS) What the fuck?
- (?) I believe the correct question would be...
..."where" the fuck.
- (KLATOS) Is that where we are? Are we outside the universe?
- (?) It could be said that this exists outside the realm, bound by definition, you call "the universe."
It could also be said, therefore, you are outside of "me."
- (KLATOS) I'm... outside of... you? I don't understand.
- (?) I am comprehensible, if you allow me to be.
- (KLATOS) Okay, so... are you outside the universe too?
- (?) It is you who are outside of me, all else exists within me.
- (KLATOS) Are you some aspect of the universe I don't understand?
- (?) They live, as you once did, within me.
- (KLATOS) Are you saying that you...
...are the universe?
- (?) What you call "the universe" exists within "me."
I am the combined extension of what you might call "universes."
- (KLATOS) You're the multiverse!
- (?) It has been said as such, by people whom you call scientists,
that the structure of a "brain cell" and the structure of "the universe" are identical in shape.
Who's to say that "the universe" is not just a "brain cell" of a larger being?
- (KLATOS) Are...?
Are you what... are you what we might call "God?"
- (?) It has been said so... it has also been said not so.
Who am I to decide?
- (KLATOS) But how can the whole of creation exist within your mind!?
- (?) Could it not be said that entire worlds exist within the minds of children?
This is not called "impossible!" It is called "divine."
For them, despite the impossiblity,
The worlds they create in their minds are very real, for them,
and for the people they contruct to be in it.
This is the divine nature of a child's imagination.
It could also be said that this is somehow similar within me.
Yet, their lives are... more essential.
If you were to poison a cell of your skin, would it not fruit cancer?
If a part of your body were destroyed, would you not grow weary with sickness.
-(KLATOS) I hurt you, when I destroyed the universe, didn't I?
- (?) It would be one thing for a universe to die;
It is the natural life and death of all things.
But it is not natural when it is caused!
I have felt a surge in me.
I feel myself dying.
Faster than new worlds can be created, worlds are destroyed at the hands of an idiot.
Such as yourself.
- (KLATOS) How many?
- (?) Of what do you want me to quantify, one they call "Klatos?"
- (KLATOS) How many!?
From all the different universes, all dying; all unravelling because of me! How many!?
I refer to lives. How many?
- (?) 215,287,296...
...in your universe...
...so far...
...and septillion more in the others.
- (KLATOS) I didn't want this.
I wanted to save lives.
- (?) Perhaps you still can!
- (KLATOS) Can you do it?! Can you restore the multiverse!? Can you do what I failed to do!?
- (?) It comes at a price most horrible. - (KLATOS) I can spare it!!! Can you do it!!?
- (?) Yes, one they call "Klatos."
I can restore "the multiverse."
But you do see why that is futile in itself?
- (KLATOS) It would just happen all over again, wouldn't it?
How many times have we had this conversation!?
- (?) It will be the last.
- (KLATOS) Is there nothing we can do!!?
- (?) Yes, one they call "Klatos"...
I can restore "the multiverse," but...
You must pay a price most horrible, to ensure it doesn't happen again.
- (KLATOS) What are you...
- (KLATOS) Oh... - (?) Yes.
- (KLATOS) Won't... that have a major effect on... the timelines?
- (?) It cannot be said, apart from some, that your presence was significant.
Erasing your existance won't be that consequential.
- (KLATOS) Oh, good; good... um...
What about... Catherine?
I'll never marry her, right?
- (?) It is so.
- (KLATOS) Which means I'll never father her child, right?
- (?) It is so.
- (KLATOS) Which means there's an innocent little girl...
...who will never be born, because of me, right?
- (?) It is so.
- (KLATOS) This isn't what I wanted... What have I done?
I wanted to save... millions of lives, but all I've done is murder my own daughter.
- (?) One they call "Klatos!!"
I have watched you for ages;
You have bewildered me for ages!
I have known you to love...
I have known you to hate...
I have known you to be caring...
I have known you to be selfish...
I understand nothing about you...
...except for this:
You are not one to knowingly hurt a child.
Because you are not without love.
You wanted to save millions of lives.
You wanted to do what no man could.
You wanted to resurrect the dead.
You wanted to bring back every person that was innocent in their death,
out of that very love!!
Perhaps...
this could be your chance to do just that.
- (KLATOS) I'll do it.
[COSMOS WARPING]
- (?) It is done...
[♬ MUSIC ♬]
It is almost the end.
It is time to say goodbye...
...one they call "Klatos."
[PENCILS SHAKING]
[PENCILS SCATTER]
[SLAMS NOTEBOOK]
[STOMPS FORWARD]
[STATIC DISTORTION]
[A TRAIN APROACHING]
[TRAIN SCREECHING]
[FLAME FIZZLES OUT]
[♬ MUSIC ♬]
[WIND HOWLING]
Stay Groovy, Cats...
[DOOR CREAKS SHUT]