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Good evening.
On the night of October 10th, 2018 a violent murder spree
occurred over a 100-mile stretch of Texas ground.
The murders were linked to a debunked conspiracy theory
involving senior political leaders
and child sex slaves held captive
in the basements of pizza parlors across the country.
These particular leaders were also thought
to be members of the Lizard Illuminati.
An elite race of reptilian humanoids masquerading
as political figures and celebrities.
One eyewitness provided extensive video coverage
of the crime.
The footage she acquired that day would detail
a bizarre drama that left law enforcement,
and the public at large,
paralyzed with fear and confusion.
Her supposed pursuit of justice would fan
the flames of cult celebrity, uncover a deadly militia
on the verge of war, and would introduce the world
to the most dangerous man in America.
Hey, come on.
Let's go. Chop chop.
Goddamn protestors got here early this morning.
Protestors?
Some cocksucker in HR leaked the story to KWaco last night,
now every news outlet in town is poking holes
in it like it's swiss-fucking-cheese.
You mean like they're trying to say the story's
not credible?
Is this your first day?
Karen Black.
You're, uh...
You're gonna shadow Asia today.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Please play nice.
Karen Black, I'm the new intern...
Just put these on.
- All right. - Okay.
And take this.
So just make notes when she goes off script, okay?
- Um... - She's gonna go off script, so.
- Okay, I- - Just listen for anything like
fucked up, you know?
Like stuff we'll have to remember for future shows, okay?
What?
Did anyone even read the story before it got approved?
Did you?
It's insanity!
- It is completely insanity! - I know!
So let's start with the supplement hour and then we can
circle back around to the pizza place thing.
We are the laughing stock of six different
stations in Waco alone!
If we don't get in front of this, who else will, huh?
You?
Anyone else?
I didn't think so.
Terri, calm down!
Fuck you, Rupert!
- Fuck this shit. - Calm down.
15 seconds!
14, 13,
- 12, 11, - Get that to wardrobe.
ten, nine, eight, seven,
six, five, four, three.
Ladies and gentlemen, you are listening
to the Terri Lee Live show.
I'm your host, Terri Lee, and I'm just gonna jump
right into it because we got a hydrogen bomb this morning
and I can't sugarcoat it.
We received intel via text message from
our field ops down in Austin, Texas, and I quote
"child sex ring, lizard illuminati,
Tootz Pizza basement.
Call ASAP."
Child sex slaves.
A secret reptilian democratic stronghold
has been set up in the basement of Tootz Pizza
out of Austin, Texas.
Now, the pizzeria obviously, a front.
It's covered in satanic artwork that depicts
humanoid reptilian figures resembling leaders
of democratic deep state literally sucking
the blood from newborn baby children.
Shoving the drained corpses into their vaginas, or cloaca,
depending on which side the genitalia of all species was.
You wanna know what they're doing to the older children?
You know the mainstream media is laughing at this right now.
To, to...
To discredit me.
To discredit the message.
Laughing.
What exactly is so funny about photographic evidence
of nine-year-old children being sodomized
by leaders of the democratic deep state?
This is real.
This is the shadow government in our own backyards.
Classic, clandestine globalist rape at its finest.
God fucking damn it!
They are all laughing at this.
They are laughing at you, they are laughing at me,
and we sit there like drones doing absolutely
nothing about it.
Am I supposed to leave my post and go down
to Austin, Texas and put a bullet in every single one
of those coldblooded bastard's heads?
Is that the answer to this collective apathy?
Is anyone even listening to a god damn word I am saying?
Don't you see that you are fucking sheep?
What is that goddamn noise?
What is that?
Shut it off.
Shut it off!
Okay.
Okay, I got it.
Sorry.
My headset, it's a little too big.
Rup!
Ma'am?
Your lanyard.
Come out, come out, wherever you are!
There she is!
You're a liar!
What the fuck is wrong with you?
You could've killed someone!
Y'all get the fuck back.
Hey, get the fuck back.
Get away from the car.
Hey, we have a right!
Yeah, you have a right to protest
on the fucking grass, asshole!
Get the fuck out of the way of the car.
We have a fucking right!
- Hey! Hey, motherfucker! - We have a right!
We have a right!
Get back!
I mean it!
I'm down.
I'm down!
What?
I was threatened, okay?
And I have a valid conceal and carry permit
in this state, all right?
My name is Duncan Plump.
That's P-L-U-M-P. Plump.
I was threatened by this man over here
with his goddamn sign, all right?
And that's cardboard, that's not paper.
Okay?
Put the gun down.
Man, just put the gun down, man.
I was threatened!
No one threatened you.
I was threatened!
That's why you shouldn't swing signs at people, okay?
I would've been well within my rights
to shoot that son of a bitch in the head.
Well within, you all saw that.
It's okay.
- Someone call the cops. - No.
- Fuckers. - Stop.
What is wrong with you?
Fuck you!
You didn't think it was dangerous
to track him down?
Of course I did.
When you looked him up on the internet,
what did you find?
His past.
You found out he had a criminal record.
He was exactly what I needed.
I had to find out the truth about Tootz Pizza
and I needed someone to watch my back.
Tell me about the militia.
They were well organized, self-governed,
they ran drills.
What kind of drills?
All right Duncan, you've been caught.
Lay your weapon down.
Dude, come on.
We can see you.
Just shoot his ass.
I wanna get back for breakfast.
Come on, dude.
Hey!
When I go like this that means stop, okay?
Sorry.
It ain't Duncan.
Come on, wait, wait, Duncan, I-
God damn it, Duncan,
you nearly split my fucking head open.
And finally, I'd like to remind y'all just
how successful our last 4th of July potluck was.
And more importantly, just how popular
my wife Joanne's three meat stromboli was.
It has been an honor and a privilege to preside
over this militia for the last eight years
and I hope to have your vote here tonight.
Thank you.
Thank you, Hollis, for that heartwarming plea
to the voters, but I'm not sure how your wife's
three-meat stromboli's gonna save her
when she's being gang raped by a dozen Mexican drug cartels.
And I know she may be in her 80s or whatever,
but those cholos know no limits to their depravity.
It's that simple.
These are the times we're living in, people.
And if you're not scared shitless then you're asleep.
You can go on keep living in your dreamworld
buying your Chinese cars, Jap TVs
and hanging out with your loved ones
playing checkers in the den or whatever it is
the fuck you do all day long, but mark my words.
If you continue to let this man lead this militia
you will be violently awoken in the middle of the night
to the sound of your loved ones being gang raped
by Mexican drug cartels just like Joanne over here.
That is why I, codename Sidethorn,
would like your vote here tonight.
To prevent that.
Uh, excuse me.
Excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt your militia meeting,
but this is important.
Uh, well I'm not finished, ma'am.
If you could have a seat.
As you've probably all heard by now,
there are children down in Austin being ritualistically
sodomized by deep state operatives of reptilian descent.
Reptilian?
You mean like lizard people?
That's right, shapeshifters.
Shapeshifters?
Fuck me sideways.
All right now, look!
I let Hollis speak without any interruption, alright?
If you don't mind, we are having a very special election
here tonight regarding the future of this here militia...
I do mind.
I mean, what I'm trying to say, it's important.
- And... - Just what are you
trying to say, miss?
I wanna go down to Austin with this video camera
and uncover the truth about Tootz Pizza.
And I need someone with military training to come with me.
What's your name, young lady?
My name's Karen Black.
I'm a journalist and a filmmaker.
Karen Black, huh?
And Karen Black's name ain't on the reservation list,
now is it?
If we're gonna challenge our longstanding policies
on attendance, one of which is reserving your spot,
which she did not do, I suggest we put it to a vote.
If we don't put it to a vote I would call it
a direct attack on our pillars of truth.
Breaking policies is a slippery slope, my friends.
Policy two holds us to maintain that which
is only found in a well organized militia.
Granted by the second amendment
of the United States Constitution.
Can I get a amen?
Amen.
Now, as a potential director of this here militia,
do you support the flagrant destruction
of our precious and few pillars of truth, Philip?
My name is Sidethorn.
Oh, excuse me.
Sidethorn.
Fuck you, Duncan.
No, how about fuck you, Philip?
You stupid dick!
You're lucky I don't beat your fucking ass
in front of everybody right now!
Gentlemen, this has gotten outta hand
and we only have 15 minutes of our time left before bingo.
Oh, I love bingo!
I motion that we end this meeting prematurely
in order to regroup with members only
- at a mutually - Don't you dare try to
- agreeable time. - take this away from me.
Now you're all gonna hear what I have to say, god damn it!
- Votes I? - I.
Votes nay?
Nay!
This meeting's adjourned.
Shit!
Jonathan?
Yes, sir?
I want you to look up Karen Black on the internet
right now with your telephone.
Okay.
Is that her?
Yeah.
Duncan.
What?
How are they gonna sodomize kids if they're lizards?
I don't know, Jonathan, maybe they butt fuck them
with their tails. Who gives a shit?
Now get your mind out of the gutter for two fucking seconds
and promise me that you'll never tell anyone
that I asked you to secretly track down
Karen Black's whereabouts.
Kapeesh?
But you didn't ask me to do that.
Right.
I didn't.
Listen, if you tell anyone I'll fucking kill you, got it?
Awfully angry rhetoric tonight.
The fuck you want, old man?
Look, I know how bad you want this position,
and your turn will come, but scaring people
into voting for you will only lead to disappointment.
You need to take a more measured approach.
Take Duncan, for example.
He's aggressive and contained all at the same time.
You may learn something from him.
Yeah, that sounds all good and peachy if the streets
weren't already running red with blood, Hollis.
Someone needs to man up and make this a real militia
and not just some stupid fucking gun club
like that Karen Black says.
Mexicans, China people, ISIS,
they all think we're a paper tiger.
You know what a paper tiger is, Hollis?
Yes, Philip, I know what a paper tiger is.
I don't think you do!
I really don't.
- Philip! - Get fucked, old man.
Hey, come on, Philip, we need to talk.
Come on!
Let me guess.
Jesus!
Terri Lee sent you.
Look, look, I don't want any trouble, okay?
Look, I know you work for her.
Let's not act like we didn't see each other today.
I'm not acting like I didn't see you,
and for your information, I was fired today.
So, uh...
This whole mission of yours is trying
to get back on her good side?
You know she has worms in her brains, right?
I don't understand, why did you protect her like that?
I wasn't protecting her.
I was protecting the first amendment.
It's a big fucking difference, all right?
I may not be fooled by that silver tongue ho,
but she has a right to speak.
Why would anyone lie about nine-year-old children
being sodomized by lizard people?
Whoa, I've heard the word sodomize like three
too many times today, so just please.
That's not an answer.
Let's say for the sake of argument
lizard people were in fact keeping child sex slaves.
Why a pizza place, Karen?
It just doesn't make any sense.
So you think Terri Lee's a fake,
but you believe in lizard people?
Of course I believe in lizard people.
Then why's it so hard to believe that they're keeping kids
- in a basement? - Look, just...
Forget what I do or don't believe in
for a second, all right?
You came marching into a public forum tonight
proposing open war against a technologically superior race
of ancient reptilian humanoids, am I right?
- We're already at war! - Well we can't just go
down to Austin
and waltz into the lizard stronghold demanding
to see the children in the basement.
And why not?
Because there is no basement, Karen!
Wait, what do you mean?
Tootz Pizza has no basement.
I looked into it myself and it checks out.
But your intel right out the gate is majorly flawed
and if Tootz Pizza is in fact a lizard stronghold,
you're gonna be outnumbered,
and more importantly, outgunned.
I'm trying to make a documentary,
you make it sound like I'm about to start World War III.
Well, you just might, Karen Black.
How's that make you feel, huh?
Documentary could be worth no honky tonk
if there ain't no world to watch it with.
You hear?
So what, you're just gonna quit?
Quit? What?
I can't quit nothing if ain't start something.
What do you call tracking me down like a psycho
if not starting something?
I just don't want a member of my community
starting the first lizard war.
Well, if you won't help me I'll just
get someone else to then.
Good luck with that.
Maybe your friend Philip.
No.
Philip may be a dumb stupid fucking bitch,
he ain't dumb enough to put a big old spotlight on us.
A militia's position under the radar
is far more valuable than any public display of brute force.
You're not so under the radar.
You know that, right?
Goodnight, Karen.
I know who your father is, for starters.
David Karesh.
Branch Davidian sex cult leader who thought he was Jesus.
Got all the women to marry him back in the 90s.
One of which ended up being your mother.
But when the FBI and ATF heard he was sexing
on little girls, they had a 51 day standoff with him
until he set fire to the compound, killing like
80 people. Including your mother.
But by the grace of God baby Duncan was saved.
And even after all these years no one's still quite certain
who started that fire.
Good evidence says FBI started it.
Isn't that right?
What in the holy fuck is your point?
My point is that the government started a war against
your daddy over allegations of child sex abuse,
the same thing we got down in Austin right now.
Allegations.
And yet no one's looking into it.
No FBI, no ATF, no one.
I mean, isn't that weird?
The government's hiding something and I don't know what,
but there's something there.
I need someone like you to help me with the tactical side.
Please, I need you.
Karen.
You don't need me.
You need a Xanax, all right?
A fucking chill pill.
Well, he's right about one thing.
You don't need him.
What in the fuck are you following me for, Philip?
You call me Philip one more time
and I'm gonna bust you in the head.
Your name is Philip, you dumb fuck.
Philip is dead.
They call me Sidethorn now.
He tell you he was a retard yet?
Shut up.
Back in 93 when them FBI boys took him out
that compound his ass tipped off the back
of a pickup truck and went boom.
Split that big old fat fucking melon wide open,
brains hanging out like spaghetti or some shit.
Fuck you to hell, man.
State gave him a million dollar settlement.
That's how come he don't have to work all day.
Just gets to sit around in his van playing secret service
for his long lost love Terri Lee.
No.
She is not my long lost love, I hate that fat bitch.
She ain't fat, she looks good.
Philip, watch your mouth.
You're just upset because she don't
return your phone calls.
All right now.
I don't wanna waste any more of y'all's time.
You wanna show the world the lizard people
and I wanna make this militia public.
Maybe you and I can come to some sort of agreement,
help each other out.
If you need security, I'm your man.
But it's gonna cost you.
How much?
500 bucks, American cash, and I'll need it upfront.
- Fine. - Karen.
You're making a big mistake.
Ooh, now settle down, chubby.
The adults are talking.
Why don't you get a scoot on, huh?
Ain't you got work in the morning?
Don't Terri Lee come on at like eight a.m. or something?
Go on now.
Ooh!
I think I upset him, don't you?
Go on now!
Skit!
Morning.
Oh God, Duncan!
Gotta be on the road by six a.m.
On the road?
Yeah, you better get ready, you only got about five minutes.
I don't understand.
Leave at six a.m., get to Austin, meet management,
fill out a job app.
Stop that.
Website says they needed drivers.
Who's website?
Tootz Pizza.
Now let's go!
You only got like four minutes.
You wanna help me now?
Look, I underestimated just how much of
a dumb fucking potatohead Philip was, okay?
Any mission with him will most likely end in bloodshed
and in time lead back to the team here in Waco
and I cannot have that.
Okay.
That's a Billy Goat brand rucksack.
Yeah.
It's a good brand.
I know.
Jesus fuck!
What?
Is that what I think it is?
It's my pet, calm down.
At least let her out, we're gonna be gone for a long time.
They can last up to a month without food.
I think we're okay.
A month?
Karen, this could take years.
You have to get in their inner circle
and study them, get intel for a long time.
Okay, I understand.
Hey, I think you should leave your camera behind.
It looks suspicious.
Plus we'll most likely commit some felonies along
the way and I do not need a movie showing me do that.
No, ma'am.
My movie isn't about you.
It's about the victims of Tootz Pizza.
If we even live to see this footage
it will be bigger than you or me.
All right.
But I'll have to approve the final cut
before it's released to theaters.
Duncan?
Duncan!
What?
You fell asleep!
Asleep?
I wasn't asleep.
God, you're drooling on yourself.
- I wasn't asleep, Karen. - I'm sorry.
I'm starting to feel a little overwhelmed.
I mean, are we really up for this?
Are we really up for this?
All right, all right.
You need a breather?
Let's stop off at a corner store, pick you up
some supplies, you know?
Get you an energy drink if that'll make you feel better.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Yeah, it would.
Fine!
Fine.
Great.
Look, this is strike one.
An unplanned stop allows more time for us to get spotted.
Let's try to keep this to a minimum, okay?
Your gas tank is empty.
It should be full.
I'm gonna get that gauge looked at.
Can we just check at the pump to make sure it's full?
Yeah, duh.
Of course.
Could be wrong.
Ain't nothing wrong with that.
You want anything from inside?
It's on me.
I'm fine.
Thanks, though.
Yeah, no problem.
Whoa.
Hey!
Uh uh.
Don't be filming my van.
Movie ain't about me, remember?
What?
- What's the uh... - Problem?
Well I bet you automatically think
I'm a racist or something.
I don't know, are you?
God.
Look, people...
I don't like you standing there with your camera
out like that, all right?
It's drawing attention like I said it would.
Do you know what that flag means?
It means a lotta things, Karen.
Like what?
Like heritage, for starters.
It honors slavery, I think.
No.
No, that's not what they fought for.
That's exactly what they fought for.
You're right, okay?
You're right!
Somebody's probably already snapped a photo
of me on their damn telephone saying all sorts
of things about me on the net.
And some NSA fuck is flagging us right now...
Yeah, that's what I'm trying to say
because the confederate flag's fucked up.
Well, what am I supposed to do, huh?
Take 'em off?
We're gonna get pulled over in half a second
for not displaying our license plate properly.
Why can't you just switch it out with the front one?
That one's a confederate flag, too.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
It came in a two-pack!
We shoulda took your damn car.
No, you shouldn't have a hate flag on yours.
People don't know any fucking better.
People were listening to her looking for fucking answers
and they're not finding them.
It wasn't long before he started talking
about stuff he knew that others didn't.
I think he felt like he had to reprove himself to me.
We listened to Terri Lee's show
and he was pointing out all these holes and inaccuracies.
He told me all about stuff like false analogies
and conformation bias.
He also pointed out that it wasn't Terri
we should be worried about.
It was her listeners.
Duncan referred to them as idiots.
We are not idiots.
There is a movement that has taken bloom
in this country and it is blooming, people,
and I cannot be happier to report that.
Oh, it's gonna bloom, all right.
It's gonna bloom all over the place.
Your eyes open!
That's what this comes down to, people.
Leads and tips, tips and leads.
If you hear something...
I think we should call the pizza place
and let them know we're coming.
Their website says they're hiring
but what if it's not up to date?
- What? - Is your phone on?
Yeah.
Karen, Jesus fuck!
- What? - We're trying to fly
under the radar and you got a damn tracking device
in your hand.
Now shut it the fuck off.
- Look out! - Shit!
Oh, shit.
It's an old person.
What's he doing in the middle of the road?
He's lost.
Look at him.
He doesn't know up from down.
Wait, wait, wait no.
We're not just gonna pick him up, are we?
It's an old person, Karen.
So?
Old people are the last bastions of our society.
Their wisdom is limitless.
We have to do right by him.
What the hell are you talking about?
What do you mean what the hell am I talking about?
What happened to covert?
To flying under the radar? To...
I ain't gonna let that old buzzard die on my watch.
I just ain't.
No cameras.
Why not?
Because I said so, that's why.
Now drop it.
Hey.
You okay, old man?
Shut your damn flapper.
You're gonna toss your shit on the floor now.
Hey, hold it!
All right now.
Look, I need y'all both to be clear.
We are out in the middle of nowhere now.
So if I gotta blast you,
ain't nobody gonna see that go down.
You got that?
So no funny business?
All right, get that wallet onto the floor, pronto tonto.
And your ass ain't exempt, come on!
Toss it over!
Just do as he says, Karen.
What you doing hanging around a nigger for anyway, huh?
She's uh...
She's my friend.
Brother, you need to get you some new friends.
Them keys in the van?
Yes, sir.
All right, boy.
It looks like you live today, huh?
Now, y'all just keep your backs turned, huh?
Till you hear me drive off.
I'm figuring an idiot like you can keep
from fucking that up, huh?
Outta the way, Karen.
Are you filming me?
Yes.
Put it away, Karen!
No.
Fucking thing won't start.
Drop the gun, motherfucker!
Oh, you sure got tough all of a sudden.
I said drop it.
Ooh-ee, damn, you're a brave boy, ain't you, huh?
I ain't messing around.
What's your bitch doing over there?
She gonna put me on the YouTube or something?
I'll shoot you dead if I have to.
Now drop the gun!
You ain't got the balls,
you panty waist little bitch.
Shoulda done what I told you.
I don't wanna kill you, old man.
You won't.
Oh shit!
Stop filming me, Karen!
Now!
Is he dead?
We gotta call the police.
Don't you dare.
Don't you fucking dare!
Then what do we do?
We're gonna dump his ass in the ditch.
Come on, we dump him in the ditch.
Come help me dump his ass in the ditch
right now, goddamn it!
Well, I guess we're really in it now, huh?
Yeah, I'd say so, Karen.
I just shot a guy in his fucking face.
Head blew up like an old pumpkin.
Shut the fuck up.
Hey.
Here.
I ain't ever killed...
I ain't ever killed anyone before.
I just want you to know that.
I, um, I never...
Thank you for sticking up for me back there.
Of course.
We're buds, Karen.
We're buds.
So um, that was a good idea that you had back there.
You know, about calling the pizza place ahead of time.
What do you think we should say?
See if they're still hiring, let them know we're coming.
That's good, that's simple.
Simple.
We can order a pizza, too.
Yeah.
You like pizza?
Yeah, I love it.
Yeah, me too.
You should delete that footage.
It's got nothing to do with your movie, huh?
I guess not.
Okay, then.
There, it's gone.
That's good, that's good, that's good.
Alright, here goes nothing.
Tootz Pizza, home of the butter bacon
pizza party platter.
This is Nathaniel, how can I help you?
Hi, my name is Karen Black.
Don't say your name.
Hello?
They'll look you up.
So?
They'll see that you work for Terri
and it'll tip 'em off before you can get there.
Hello?
Uh, hi...
- Hi, hello. - Hello.
Hi, my name's Duncan Rodriguez.
Okay.
Yeah, um, sorry about that, that was my girlfriend.
Right.
Well, is this gonna be delivery or pickup?
Well, um, actually I was calling to, you know,
inquire about the driving position.
Let me grab my manager.
Okay.
I'm on hold.
Duncan Rodriguez.
- What? - You know what.
It's how it's pronounced.
Hello?
Hi, this is Rico, how can I help you?
Hi, Rico.
Uh, my name's Duncan Rodriguez.
Oh, you're calling about
that driving position, yeah?
Yes. Yes, I am.
Okay, well the application's online.
Hello?
Um, yes, I'm still here.
Great, yeah, so just fill out the application online.
Um, well...
Uh, so me and my girlfriend are actually driving
into town and I was wanting to just come on
and you know, stop by, pick up a job app, a hard copy.
Okay, yeah, that's fine.
You have the address?
Yep. Well, no, no.
Okay, it's 54 and Futterman.
- 54th and Futterman? - Right.
All right, all right.
Are you coming by later today?
Yep, well tonight.
Okay, and you said your name is Duncan?
Yes, sir, Duncan Rodriguez and you're Rico.
Yes, I'm Rico.
Okay, right.
Yeah.
Yep.
Okay, well, see you soon.
See you soon.
All right, bye.
We're in.
All right, Karen, what we're gonna do is...
You referred to me as your girlfriend on the phone.
We oughta make sure to remember that.
What?
That we're boyfriend and girlfriend?
Yeah.
Right.
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
You just went with the first thing that came to mind.
Yeah.
Cool.
Um, how...
How far should we take it?
Take what?
That's we're boyfriend-girlfriend?
Like we're gonna have to act like we're together, right?
Just to clear things up, you don't actually,
you know, really have feelings for me?
Like if we were really boyfriend and girlfriend, right?
- Oh, no. - 'Cause if you did,
you know, we could show them that inside.
Yeah.
I...
I can hold your hand to really sell it, you know?
I don't really have feelings for you.
Right.
You should leave your camera.
It'll make 'em nervous, don't you think?
Listen, you've been trying to stop me
from making my documentary since the moment we left Waco.
Well...
Well, why don't you just use your telephone
like you did last time?
Way less conspicuous.
Yeah, I suppose you're right.
All right.
Wait, wait.
What if they have a body scanner on the door
like what they have at airports and stuff?
What do you mean?
If they have a body scanner on the door
they're gonna see your gun.
And I mean, you said it yourself,
we're no match for them if something goes wrong.
Plus, if one of us needs to escape,
it's best that the weapons are in here, right?
Right.
Here.
Okay.
Look, if something does go wrong in there,
you're gonna have to be the one that evacuates.
You got the footage, and I hate to say it,
even if you do escape they're gonna be after you
and they'll most likely take you down.
But you gotta get that footage out there,
that's the payload, got it?
And if they're interrogating you,
you blame it all on me, okay?
We got this.
Yeah.
Philip, no, Philip, Philip.
Get in the back!
Karen, Karen, Karen, Karen!
All right, all right, let's go.
Come on, fuck it.
Come on.
Karen, I got you, I got you.
Fuck.
God damn it, motherfucker.
All right, all right.
I'm coming, Karen.
I'm coming, I'm coming to get you, Karen.
Rico, Rico, no!
Rico, don't!
Please, Rico!
Please!
We gotta, oh Jesus!
Rico!
I thought you were supposed to be here to drive.
Son of a bitch!
Rico! Rico! Rico!
I'm sorry, Rico.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Hey, stop filming me!
Stop it!
Stop filming me!
Rico!
Please, please.
A pizza delivery service here in the Austin metro area
has become the scene of a deadly shootout
between its employees and what early speculations
report to be a team of white nationalists.
Authorities believe there's still at least
one active shooter in the area.
Shut up, shut up,
shut the fuck up.
Laurie?
Yes, Danny.
We've been told that at least three employees
from Tootz Pizza have been killed.
- Shut it off. - Now, interestingly,
the vehicle in question is displaying
the confederate flag on both license plates
which leads us to believe that perhaps
this crime was racially motivated.
Shut it the fuck up!
Fuck, shit.
There's a first aid kit,
it's in the bathroom down the hall.
Yeah.
Yeah, let's get that.
Were you shot, son?
Yes.
Did you hurt those pizza people?
Yes.
It was self defense.
It ain't what y'all think it is.
I ain't a white nationalist, I ain't a killer.
Here.
- Let's get this shirt off. - Wait.
I just want you to know, both of you,
there's something really fucked up underneath.
It's from a long time ago.
I ain't like that anymore.
Okay?
All right.
Okay.
Now you've seen it.
It's buckshot.
It's torn up pretty good.
Can you stitch that?
Can't stitch that.
Best I can do is clean it.
Ah, fuck!
Come on, get in, get in.
Come on.
You, too.
Please.
Keys.
Put 'em on my pinky.
All right, there you go.
Thank you, thank you.
We won't last long in here.
No, no, no, okay, look.
Once I get far enough away I'm gonna call the police
and they're gonna come let you out, okay?
I swear, all right? Now move your hands.
- Move your hands. - No.
- Come on, move 'em. - Now, wait.
We gotta die in a closet?
No, you're not gonna die.
Okay? I promise.
Okay.
Okay, I promise you're not gonna die.
It's just like being in an elevator.
Someone's gonna come let you out.
All right? I swear I'm gonna call.
I'm gonna call, okay?
Are you gonna call 'em right away?
Now?
Yes, when I'm far enough away.
Okay?
You promise?
I promise.
All right, bye.
Ladies and gentlemen, you are listening
to a Terri Lee special night edition.
Live here, evidently the mainstream fake news outlets
are blaming a fan of the Terri Lee Live show
of the murders of three employees
of an Austin, Texas pizzeria.
He has been identified as the owner of the vehicle left
behind and has online accounts, such as TerriLeeLover6969
and Incognito93, that express a fandom for our show.
He was, in fact, the crazed man who almost killed me
and several others outside my studio just yesterday morning.
Duncan Plump is the man that has been identified by police.
This is a heinous, evil act of homegrown terrorism.
Seeds that mainstream media will try to say
were planted by me based on nothing
but my proximity to this anthem.
I did not employ this psychopath to commit murder
and I sincerely hope for swift and merciless justice.
Shut the fuck up.
Well this tape...
This is so dumb.
Guess it's to clear my name in case
I don't survive this night.
Goddamn Terri Lee puts a story into Karen's head
and lord knows who else's.
And Philip came into Tootz waving his gun around,
forcing everybody to hit the deck.
And then Rico the store manager pulled
a sawed off shotgun out from underneath the counter
and nicked my hand and my shoulder.
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, I chucked a bunch of cutting knives
at him from the magnetic strip there.
He shot at me again, but he didn't hit me.
He hit Nathaniel, I think his name was.
He killed him.
Not me, Rico killed him.
Anyway, Philip kidnapped Karen,
now I'm on my way to go rescue her unless he kills her.
Then I suppose I'm gonna have to kill Philip.
Just to clear things up, there were no fucking
lizard people in that pizza place.
Just a bunch of hardworking Americans
and some damn fine pizza.
Wish I coulda had a slice.
Or two.
Pepperoni.
Sausage.
Why are you battle-ready, Hollis?
Duncan, Joanne and I would sure like
to not have any troubles here tonight.
I suppose Philip got to you first, huh?
Where's Karen?
She's fine.
Let me guess, you're gonna pin all
this pizza stuff on me, huh?
I don't have to, Karen already did.
The footage is quite troubling.
What in the hell footage are you talking about?
The footage of you capping that old man
in the head out on Rancho 312 like you did.
Does that ring a bell?
No, she uh, she was supposed to delete that.
Well that's what she was supposed to do,
it ain't what she did.
That's some pretty sick stuff, Plump.
You go and kill an old man and then try
to plant the gun on him?
Plant? No, no!
I wasn't planting, I dropped the gun
and I was picking it back up!
She just had a bad angle on him.
Ooh-ee, you got an answer for everything, don't you?
You know what?
Fuck y'all.
I'm turning myself in.
The truth is gonna come out one way or another.
Unless y'all silence Karen, I got my alibi.
Good, it's settled.
We'll sort this out when the police arrive.
Well, now, that's where I'm gonna stop you, Hollis.
You see, I don't think Duncan's gonna play nice
once he gets behind bars.
I don't think this little problem of ours
is gonna go away as easily as you might think.
What are you talking about?
Ain't no police been called.
The members and myself have conducted a silent vote
and we have come to the conclusion
that we need to settle this matter internally, so to speak.
A silent vote?
We gotta make it like we ain't never heard
of no Duncan Plump, you understand?
If he gets in front of a news camera,
he's gonna ruin any chance that we have
of expanding this militia to the south!
I mean, for Christ's sake,
his damn girlfriend works for Terri Lee!
That's how come he went around our backs like he did!
Because he wants to be famous just like his dead daddy.
Philip, this is not your militia.
I got the majority now, old man, not you!
So say your goodbyes, shake hands and salute
because I'm about to put tubby down.
Philip!
Oh, excuse me, Sidethorn.
Why don't you explain to the camera how exactly
you plan on silencing me?
Go on.
Tell us.
Now, you're bluffing, you ain't filming shit.
Come on, Sidethorn!
You're the leader now!
Silence me just like you threatened.
Do it on live camera.
Do you got the sack to do that?
What?
What the hell does that mean? The sack?
I'm referring to your ball sack!
You got the ball sack to do that?
Hm, hm?
Silence me like you said?
All right, okay.
Well I'm gonna go into town, get the sheriff,
and come back for Karen.
Hey, you hold it right there!
All right, you wanna see my ball sack?
No.
No?
No, I'm gonna show you my fucking ball sack.
Just a minute, right here.
Wanna see it?
There it is!
Is that what you want?
Huh?
Look at it!
I ain't afraid of you, your camera,
or showing my big old ball sack!
Well, um...
See y'all later.
Hold it right there, you son of a bitch.
Hollis.
Hey, Hollis, hey.
Oh, God.
God damn it, Duncan, you shot me in the belly.
You almost hit my dick.
Fuck.
What happened to Hollis, huh?
What'd you do to him, you son of a bitch?
Fuck me.
Now, this ain't my fault, okay?
You just shoulda given up.
This is not my fault.
Okay, okay.
Listen, this has gone south real fast now, hasn't it?
What do you say we call a truce, huh?
You go your way, I go mine.
We already went your way, Philip.
Duncan?
What are you doing, man?
Hey, I quit.
Duncan, I quit!
You want me to call for help?
Oh, Hollis!
Hollis!
Oh, Hollis.
Joanne.
Joanne, don't.
Joanne, I didn't do it.
Duncan.
You're alive.
You didn't delete that footage.
Duncan, I thought...
You lied to me.
I was just doing what you told me to do.
I was trying to get the footage out there.
I told you to delete that footage and you lied to me!
Yeah.
I did.
Why didn't you show 'em the footage from the pizza place?
The stuff that shows it was Philip's fault?
Well...
Well what?
You filmed it, right?
I had the camera upside down in my pocket...
Oh, fuck me to hell...
I tried, okay?
It all happened so fast, I couldn't get a shot.
I killed like eight people, Karen.
I'm fucked!
No.
We can...
You can do whatever you want.
Right now I'm gonna suck this gun.
Duncan!
No, no, don't suck on your gun.
We can fix this.
What?
I don't understand.
Where's your phone?
There.
It's fixed.
Your movie wasn't supposed to be about me, remember?
Well, it is.
I didn't set out to make my movie about you,
it just happened.
Did you show anyone else that footage?
Karen?
Why did you send all your footage to Terri Lee?
It was the only contact to the media I had in my phone.
I thought Duncan was dead.
I didn't know what was gonna happen to me.
I had to get my footage out there.
Do you regret it?
No.
To this day I still believe that everything
in that footage is true.
It's only a piece of the truth, but it's true.
It's what happened, Duncan did that.
When you told him you sent the footage,
did Duncan get angry?
What!
He flew into a rage, took off in a stolen car,
you went with him.
Did he force you to come along?
No.
Why did you go?
I owed it to him.
To his story.
For better or worse, I'm the reason
the world knows who Duncan is.
What happened next?
Hey, we're trending.
Accounting's gonna shit when they see
how much OT we gotta dish out.
Who gives a fuck?
This is gonna be our top show of the year.
There he is planting the weapon.
Stop filming me, Karen!
Now!
Stick with us, people.
We are uploading footage actually taken
from the inside of the van of this murderer.
- Is he dead? - In it I am told
he proclaims his allegiance to the Nazis
and the confederacy.
Don't you fucking dare!
My fault, too, I assume.
Then what do we do?
You see? That's what they do.
The media, they need someone to blame.
Someone to complete the narrative and it's easy
to blame one person, isn't it?
Simpler that way.
Takes the blame off of all of you.
No one will tell you to your face you should've done better.
You should've stood for something.
No, you'll quietly reduce yourself to sides.
One side saying there's too many guns.
The other side saying there's not enough God.
Why'd she stop?
What the...
Excuse me, we are on the air right now.
This is a closed set, you can't just come in here.
Andy.
Uh, Rupert, can we get a producer on the floor right now?
We're on the air right now.
That's good.
What the hell is going on?
And who the fuck are you?
Y'all don't know my name?
What, you gonna kill me? Is that it?
That's up to you.
All right, cut the feed.
Shit.
No one's cutting any feeds!
I want everyone to hear this.
It's your show now, is that it?
- Terri, shut up. - Do you even know
what it is that we do here?
You're abso-fucking-lutely right I know what
it is that you do here.
I want you to tell everyone that this Tootz Pizza
lizard stronghold business is a buncha goddamn hogwash.
I want you to tell them the truth.
I tell them the truth every goddamn day!
What do you do, huh?
You think because you've mistaken a psychotic break
for a moment of clarity that gives you the right
to come in here and tell me how to run my show?
You ruined me!
You post videos of me on the internet
and you have no idea who the fuck I am.
This is who you are.
Look at yourself.
You will never be anything better than this.
People are dead because of you.
You know that?
No.
No, those people are dead because you shot them.
Not me, you.
And you'll convince no one otherwise.
Their blood is on your hands.
Yours!
My hands are perfectly clean.
People believe in you.
Don't you get it?
Real people with real lives who don't know any better
and you exploit that.
I mean, are the lizard people even real?
Or is that just another lie you tell us
to keep us afraid and coming back to you day after day?
You tell us to keep fighting and stay awake!
Don't you look at anybody but me.
And you tell me the truth or I'm gonna grease
this stage with your fucking brains.
Are the lizard people even real?
Whoa, whoa, gun.
- Now, hold a second... - No, no, no!
Are the lizard people real?
Terri, let me remind you that you
are still under contract.
Rupert, I started this company,
do not talk to me about fucking contracts right now...
I don't give a goddamn
about no fucking contract.
This is my life we're talking about here.
Hell, it's mine too, asshole, so-
This has gone on far enough.
What the fuck?
You crazy motherfucker.
He fucking shot me!
Somebody call the police.
Fuck.
You son of a bitch.
- Answer the question. - Terri,
think about this company.
Everything that you've worked for.
Shut up!
You answer the question and you answer correctly.
Fuck you!
Why won't you answer the question, Terri Lee?
Are you afraid of the truth?
'Cause it doesn't matter what I say,
you've decided that you're the victim.
You wanna show everybody.
10 seconds!
Jesus Christ.
10, nine,
eight, seven...
You are making
- a huge mistake. - Six, five,
- four, three- - Somebody do something.
Two, one!
All right!
All right.
The lizards are real.
This is all real.
This is deep state trying to silence me,
you've gotta resist them.
Listen, please resist, resistance.
Sorry, sorry.
I'm sorry.
Why are you still filming me, Karen?
How could you still be filming?
This is what y'all want, isn't it?
For your movie.
For y'all's show.
Y'all want me to kill her.
It's okay, it's okay.
It's okay, everything's okay, I got him.
Don't you fucking touch me.
Fuck!
And that was that.
He was dead.
-Terri, what are you doing?
Don't fucking touch him.
It was...
Intense.
Yeah.
Real intense.
But some good has come out of it, hasn't it?
Right.
You have your own show at Terri Lee's Studio.
I have to ask, if Duncan were here today,
what do you think he would think of that?
Well, it's my own show.
He knew that this is my dream.
Getting checks with Terri Lee's name at the top
wouldn't have bothered him?
I'm sure it would have.
Why are you asking me that?
Your videos of Duncan, to date,
have amassed over 45 million views online.
That's a lot of views.
Are you making money off of those videos, Karen?
Those videos, they...
They...
Who's making money off of those videos, Karen?
Everything okay?
Is Terri Lee making money off those videos?
No, I am.
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