1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.MX
2
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
3
00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:11,678
[announcer in Brazilian Portuguese]
Other natures, other cultures.
4
00:00:11,761 --> 00:00:14,723
Everybody mixed in together in the hood.
5
00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:17,142
Laughing is what makes life bearable.
6
00:00:17,225 --> 00:00:20,228
Real hustlers will dribble
even the cop cars in the way.
7
00:00:20,311 --> 00:00:21,479
[imitates police siren]
8
00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:24,232
There's where swagger comes from.
9
00:00:24,315 --> 00:00:27,736
As well as your brothers, your fears,
your education and your demise.
10
00:00:27,819 --> 00:00:31,197
So does he who treats us
to happiness in the purest form.
11
00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:34,284
A standing round of applause
for my brother Thiago Ventura.
12
00:00:34,617 --> 00:00:36,036
[crowd cheering]
13
00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:38,121
[hip-hop music playing]
14
00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:52,927
[in Brazilian Portuguese]
Make some fucking noise!
15
00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:56,056
It's the hood being represented!
16
00:00:58,266 --> 00:00:59,976
That's right!
17
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,312
Make some noise, Brazil!
18
00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:04,439
[cheering continues]
19
00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:09,486
From Taboão da Serra to the world.
You can sit now, my bros. We cool.
20
00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:14,240
Welcome to my third comedy special.
21
00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:16,868
The first one was called
Isso é Tudo Que Eu Tenho,
22
00:01:16,951 --> 00:01:19,454
where I talked about the importance
of comedy in my life.
23
00:01:19,537 --> 00:01:21,372
The second one was called Só Agradece,
24
00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:23,666
where I talked about everything
that comedy has given me.
25
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,418
And the third one is called POKAS,
26
00:01:25,502 --> 00:01:28,129
which is the philosophy of life
that brought me here, you know?
27
00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:30,799
If you know what "pokas" means, say "me."
28
00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:31,800
[crowd] Me!
29
00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:33,259
It's so crazy.
30
00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:35,720
Most people from the hood
know what pokas is.
31
00:01:35,804 --> 00:01:38,765
At the same time,
many of you are like, "No, no."
32
00:01:38,848 --> 00:01:40,266
[crowd laughing]
33
00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:43,770
-It's short for pokas...
-[crowd] ...ideia.
34
00:01:43,853 --> 00:01:46,815
And pokas ideia is pokas ideia,
no matter where you are.
35
00:01:46,898 --> 00:01:48,858
So, let's do this:
I'm going to say a word,
36
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:50,985
and if you think it warrants
a pokas ideia approach,
37
00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:54,197
answer all together, "Pokas."
Right? Let's do it.
38
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:56,616
-Rapists.
-[crowd] Pokas.
39
00:01:56,699 --> 00:01:59,077
People going to a school
and shooting everyone?
40
00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:00,078
[crowd] Pokas.
41
00:02:00,161 --> 00:02:03,748
-People who ask for a sip of your Yakult?
-[crowd] Pokas.
42
00:02:03,832 --> 00:02:05,416
[laughing]
43
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,586
Did you notice the Yakult sip
was louder than the rapist?
44
00:02:10,255 --> 00:02:12,882
And that shows that our country
has principles.
45
00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:18,263
It's okay to rape, but don't mess
with people's lactobacilli.
46
00:02:19,055 --> 00:02:19,889
[laughs]
47
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:21,975
When my videos began to go viral,
48
00:02:22,058 --> 00:02:24,727
about 70% of my audience were dudes.
49
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:27,147
And only 30% were girls. But today...
50
00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,274
it's 50% dudes
51
00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:31,734
and 50% female troublemakers.
52
00:02:32,902 --> 00:02:35,488
The girls who follow me are my type.
53
00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:38,741
They don't take crap from anybody
and aren't afraid to speak up.
54
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:41,494
-[crowd cheering]
-That's right. That's right.
55
00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:43,204
Straight-up sassy.
56
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:47,125
The other day, I was checking comments
on my YouTube channel.
57
00:02:47,208 --> 00:02:48,501
This one guy said,
58
00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:51,504
"Bro, real talk,
you haven't been funny in two years."
59
00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:55,133
And this girl wrote, "Oh, yeah?
Unsubscribe and go fuck yourself."
60
00:02:56,634 --> 00:02:58,887
I was like, "Damn, she has my back!"
61
00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:01,264
So I have one just for women. Come on.
62
00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:03,183
Is it pokas or not for that girl
63
00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:04,726
who says she's your friend,
64
00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:07,520
but when you break up,
she makes a move on your ex?
65
00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:08,730
[women] Pokas!
66
00:03:08,813 --> 00:03:11,274
Makes you want
to pull all of your hair out, right?
67
00:03:11,357 --> 00:03:14,110
Girls from Taboão da Serra are like,
"Gee, you're crazy!"
68
00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:17,822
People who make
a move on your man or woman?
69
00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:18,990
[crowd] Pokas!
70
00:03:19,073 --> 00:03:21,993
That person with bad breath
who speaks too close to you?
71
00:03:22,076 --> 00:03:23,661
[crowd] Pokas!
72
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:25,747
It burns your eyelashes.
73
00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:28,291
Did you know that's how pink eye started?
74
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:30,543
The person's eye was good.
75
00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:33,588
Something got in their eye, they said,
"Blow on it." [blows]
76
00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:35,715
Seven-day sick leave.
77
00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:39,719
There's this friend of mine, Eliane,
who has really bad breath.
78
00:03:39,802 --> 00:03:42,388
I went to her friend, Virginia,
and said, "Virginia,
79
00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,933
go tell Eliane she has bad breath.
80
00:03:45,016 --> 00:03:48,686
I'm not going to talk to someone
who farts in my face every two minutes."
81
00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:52,273
She said, "Thiago, it's not that bad."
I said, "Are you for real?
82
00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:55,443
When she talks outside,
the street lamps go off."
83
00:03:56,653 --> 00:04:00,198
She said, "Thiago, keep it to yourself.
She's religious. She gets upset."
84
00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:04,077
"Okay. I'll be cool." When she showed up,
I stuck my finger up my ass.
85
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:08,623
She came and said, "Oi, Thiago."
I said, "Hi. How are you?"
86
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:21,970
I was like this.
Virginia came and said, "What's up?"
87
00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:25,598
I was like, "If I have to smell poop,
I prefer my own."
88
00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:26,683
[laughs]
89
00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:27,976
Let's do another.
90
00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:30,937
Is it pokas or not for corrupt cops?
91
00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:31,854
[crowd] Pokas.
92
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,564
Thugs who think they're boss
93
00:04:33,648 --> 00:04:36,025
and don't realize
all they do is promote violence?
94
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,151
[crowd] Pokas.
95
00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:39,320
Smelly people who hug you?
96
00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:40,488
[crowd] Pokas.
97
00:04:40,571 --> 00:04:42,031
Go fuck yourself!
98
00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:43,992
People with stinky armpits
99
00:04:44,075 --> 00:04:46,703
can't keep their arms down like this,
100
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:50,623
come up to you at waist height,
hug you and back the hell off.
101
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:54,252
No. They see your shoulder
and open their devil wings like this
102
00:04:54,335 --> 00:04:58,089
and park their armpits on your shoulder
103
00:04:58,172 --> 00:05:01,009
like it's the perfect spot
for them to rest.
104
00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:03,511
And then that corrosive juice
105
00:05:04,512 --> 00:05:07,390
that comes straight
from the devil's urethra
106
00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:09,809
corrodes your hoodie.
107
00:05:10,018 --> 00:05:12,645
You arrive in a hoodie
and leave in a tank top.
108
00:05:14,063 --> 00:05:17,525
If you have a friend who stinks,
you need to tell him.
109
00:05:17,608 --> 00:05:20,028
I had this problem one day.
I said, "Afonso...
110
00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:26,576
Our stinky friend is coming."
You guys are the worst!
111
00:05:27,535 --> 00:05:29,495
Watch what you laugh at!
112
00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:32,582
"Our stinky friend is coming.
Can you tell him?
113
00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:35,752
He's more your friend than mine."
Afonso looks at me and says, "Thiago...
114
00:05:41,799 --> 00:05:43,801
[crowd applauding]
115
00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:53,353
[grunting]
116
00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:55,938
He does stink!"
"Of course," I said.
117
00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:59,692
"Last time he came to my house,
he walked in, and the wallpaper peeled.
118
00:06:00,234 --> 00:06:03,529
He slept on the couch, and the couch
woke up vomiting cushions."
119
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,865
I said, "Can I tell him he stinks?"
120
00:06:05,948 --> 00:06:08,034
Afonso was like,
"How are you going to say it?"
121
00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:10,286
You just walk up to him and say,
"My man...
122
00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:14,290
Straight talk,
I don't know how to say this, but...
123
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,209
something died inside of you."
124
00:06:17,293 --> 00:06:18,586
He said, "Thiago, are you crazy?
125
00:06:18,669 --> 00:06:20,838
If you say that,
people will never talk to you again."
126
00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:24,258
Damn right they won't.
My friend had a white armpit, you know?
127
00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:27,470
You know that yellow armpit? You know?
128
00:06:27,553 --> 00:06:29,680
Whenever he wore a white T-shirt,
129
00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:32,934
in two minutes his armpits were yellow.
I never understood that.
130
00:06:33,017 --> 00:06:35,561
How do you wake up sweating ramen...
131
00:06:37,563 --> 00:06:39,565
and you don't go to the hospital to see
132
00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:42,819
why there's a beehive under your arms?
133
00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:47,073
You're supposed to use Dove
on your armpit, not Tang.
134
00:06:48,699 --> 00:06:51,953
Nobody ever told him he had
a yellow armpit, so life did.
135
00:06:52,286 --> 00:06:55,790
Because he went to church
with the Bible under his yellow armpit.
136
00:06:56,499 --> 00:07:01,462
The kids on my street said that,
in that Bible, Jesus died in Genesis.
137
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:09,512
[laughs]
138
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:11,806
Let's do another one.
139
00:07:12,473 --> 00:07:13,558
One more.
140
00:07:14,475 --> 00:07:16,602
People who borrow money
and don't pay it back?
141
00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:17,812
[crowd] Pokas.
142
00:07:17,895 --> 00:07:20,148
People who borrow your clothes
and don't give them back.
143
00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:21,107
[crowd] Pokas.
144
00:07:21,190 --> 00:07:23,234
Person you're having sex with
for the first time
145
00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:25,194
and uses slang
only her and her friends get?
146
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:28,865
I didn't get it. Dick should be hard,
pussy should be wet, but they weren't.
147
00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:30,992
[crowd] Pokas!
148
00:07:31,492 --> 00:07:34,537
On second thought,
I think it's more my thing than yours.
149
00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:37,665
For real, though.
Intercourse was going smooth as fuck.
150
00:07:38,499 --> 00:07:42,003
She suddenly goes like, "Fuck me."
I said, "I already am!"
151
00:07:43,379 --> 00:07:45,965
She said, "Go on."
I was like, "I didn't even stop!"
152
00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:49,510
Then she said something
I really didn't get. I had to stop.
153
00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:52,054
She said, "Yes, just like that.
154
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:53,556
It feels great!
155
00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:55,391
Stick that schlong in!"
156
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:56,684
I said, "What?
157
00:08:02,231 --> 00:08:03,774
Stick what, my angel?"
158
00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:07,487
She said, "Give me that schlong!"
159
00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:09,322
I said, "What schlong?"
160
00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:12,241
"That big schlong you got!"
161
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:15,286
I said, "Big schlong?"
162
00:08:15,703 --> 00:08:18,623
For a moment, I thought it was a dog.
I said, "Schlong!"
163
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:20,583
[whistling]
164
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,502
"What the fuck is a schlong?"
165
00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:25,129
"That thing in your hand."
I said, "That's a cock!
166
00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:28,966
A cock is a cock, a schlong is a schlong!"
167
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:32,470
My cock looked at me and said,
"I don't like being called a schlong.
168
00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:37,058
This woman doesn't lick me
and calls me a schlong?"
169
00:08:37,975 --> 00:08:39,227
I said, "What is a schlong?"
170
00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:41,646
"Take that schlong
and stick it in my coochie."
171
00:08:41,729 --> 00:08:43,064
I was like, "What?"
172
00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:56,953
I said, "Coochie?
173
00:08:57,453 --> 00:09:00,665
Are you calling the pussy
by its legal name? What the fuck?
174
00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:03,668
You've been watching too much Pokémon.
175
00:09:03,751 --> 00:09:06,379
Charmander, Charmeleon,
Charizard, Charcoochie?
176
00:09:07,296 --> 00:09:09,298
I watched every season of it,
177
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:12,176
and I've never seen Ash
summon a Pussykémon.
178
00:09:14,011 --> 00:09:15,221
Comically,
179
00:09:15,304 --> 00:09:19,976
we established our pokas ideia philosophy
which has five points. First: the rules.
180
00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:22,853
Establish your own,
especially if you're from the hood.
181
00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:25,565
Everybody who hangs with you
has to know who you are.
182
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,441
Otherwise, they will walk all over you.
183
00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:29,485
The first time I realized
my life had many rules
184
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,779
was when I first played street cricket.
185
00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:35,324
Ever played a game of taco?
186
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:37,159
-[crowd] Yes!
-From the hood.
187
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,120
Hood people is like, "Me!"
188
00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:41,622
And the rich kids are like,
"Did he say 'talcum'?
189
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:48,170
As in 'talcum powder'?
I've used Johnson & Johnson."
190
00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:50,047
[laughing]
191
00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:54,051
The first time I played taco,
my friend Thiago Poop taught me, you know?
192
00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:57,179
It's Thiago Poop
because he stepped in shit barefoot.
193
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,391
He said it squeezes through your toes.
194
00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:04,103
It's disgusting, but it's funny, right?
195
00:10:04,186 --> 00:10:06,564
He said, "You even dance.
You step in it, and then do this."
196
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:11,944
The worst part is he stepped
and felt physical pain from disgust.
197
00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:14,155
He stepped in it and did like this, "Ouch!
198
00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:17,992
[gasps] Ouch, my foot!
199
00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:20,870
[gasps] I stepped in it!
200
00:10:22,204 --> 00:10:23,998
[gasps] Turn on the hose!
201
00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,001
[gasps] It's shit!"
202
00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:38,804
To save Thiago Poop,
my other friend Junior Blowjob came.
203
00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:42,850
Can I explain why we call him
Junior Blowjob? Please!
204
00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:43,934
It will be quick.
205
00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:46,145
I was in front of my house,
and a kid came running like,
206
00:10:46,228 --> 00:10:47,980
"Someone is sucking Junior's cock."
207
00:10:49,523 --> 00:10:51,359
[laughing]
208
00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:54,820
I said, "Easy, that's not how you tell
these stories.
209
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:56,322
What's happening?"
210
00:10:56,405 --> 00:10:57,615
He said, "Someone...
211
00:10:58,115 --> 00:10:59,367
is sucking...
212
00:11:01,118 --> 00:11:02,286
Junior's cock."
213
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,956
I said, "Where?"
He said, "In the playground's bathroom."
214
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,417
I said, "For how long?"
He said, "Five minutes."
215
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,211
I said, "Did you see him?"
He said, "I did."
216
00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:12,046
I said, "Was the door open?"
He said, "No."
217
00:11:12,129 --> 00:11:13,964
"So how did you see it?
He said, "What?"
218
00:11:17,718 --> 00:11:19,929
I said, "If the door was closed,
219
00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:21,597
how did you see him?"
220
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,808
He said, "Someone is sucking
221
00:11:24,558 --> 00:11:26,644
Junior's cock."
222
00:11:27,561 --> 00:11:30,856
I said, "If the door was closed,
223
00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:32,733
how did you see him?"
224
00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:35,152
He said, "Someone is sucking
225
00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:37,488
Junior's cock."
226
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:47,915
I said, "You won't say it,
so what's the plan?"
227
00:11:47,998 --> 00:11:51,502
He said, "Here's the plan, man.
Let's run to the door and do this.
228
00:11:51,585 --> 00:11:52,753
[whooshing]
229
00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:55,297
'Hey, Junior,
someone is sucking your cock!'"
230
00:11:57,091 --> 00:11:58,884
As if Junior didn't know.
231
00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:02,179
As if he would just notice in that moment.
232
00:12:02,763 --> 00:12:05,683
Imagine Junior looking and saying,
"What? You don't say!"
233
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:11,480
I thought this idea was terrible,
and like any child, I said yes.
234
00:12:12,773 --> 00:12:16,444
We ran there, got to the door and said,
"Let's do this." [whooshing]
235
00:12:16,527 --> 00:12:18,404
"Hey, Junior..." There was no time.
236
00:12:19,447 --> 00:12:23,200
The person sucking Junior's cock
did this-- [popping] "Leave Junior alone."
237
00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:27,163
[crowd applauding]
238
00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:32,251
[cheering, whistling]
239
00:12:34,879 --> 00:12:35,796
Shit.
240
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,807
Apparently, my whole crew has come!
241
00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:50,561
My friend Thiago Poop came to teach me
how to play taco.
242
00:12:50,644 --> 00:12:51,979
He explained very quickly.
243
00:12:52,062 --> 00:12:54,440
He said, "Thiago, attention.
Quickly, because I'm next.
244
00:12:54,523 --> 00:12:56,442
Take the ball, throw it in the can.
[whooshing]
245
00:12:56,525 --> 00:12:59,195
If you make it into the can, you say,
'Hand over the bat, excuse me!'
246
00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:01,822
The person will hand you
the bat in the air. Don't take it.
247
00:13:01,906 --> 00:13:04,200
If you take the bat in the air,
you automatically lose.
248
00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:05,951
So let the person put
the bat on the floor.
249
00:13:06,035 --> 00:13:08,037
Second rule: take the ball and throw it.
[whooshing]
250
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,122
If the person hits it
and it goes backwards,
251
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:12,875
once, twice,
252
00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:14,460
three times, on the third one,
253
00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:18,422
he gives the bat away.
Don't take the bat if it's in the air.
254
00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:20,800
Let the person put the bat on the ground.
Third rule:
255
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:22,468
If you're playing and you hear,
256
00:13:22,551 --> 00:13:24,303
'Car!'...
257
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,057
get out of the street."
258
00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:33,229
Then I innocently said, "Why?"
He said, "Because a car is coming."
259
00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:37,608
I said, "Is it a game rule?"
He said, "No, it's a life rule."
260
00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:41,320
I said, "Next rule." He said,
"Take the ball and throw it. [whooshing]
261
00:13:41,403 --> 00:13:42,863
If the person hits the ball...
[pops]
262
00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:45,407
...and you happen to run after this ball,
263
00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:50,079
pay attention, they are going
to yell this, 'Bring a soda!'
264
00:13:50,162 --> 00:13:53,541
They want to get under your skin
because then you'll lose the game.
265
00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:56,210
So don't mind the opponents yelling, okay?
266
00:13:56,293 --> 00:13:59,088
That's it. Find a pair and come play,
because you are next."
267
00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:00,840
I said, "Holy shit!"
268
00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:03,843
So, I was looking at everyone,
and nobody was alone.
269
00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:06,178
Suddenly, there's Lucas.
270
00:14:11,308 --> 00:14:13,978
Little Lucas is that friend everyone has.
271
00:14:14,061 --> 00:14:17,898
You know that friend of yours
that isn't worth anything?
272
00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:23,612
He was the only one left to play with me,
and I played with him.
273
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,865
I know when I say,
"I did, even though I didn't want to,"
274
00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:28,701
the women in the audience
are like this, "Hey, hey, hey!
275
00:14:32,246 --> 00:14:33,330
Thiago!
276
00:14:34,081 --> 00:14:37,251
If you didn't want to play with him,
my love, why did you play?"
277
00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:40,713
Because he looked pitiful, man.
278
00:14:42,590 --> 00:14:44,508
A friend said she put out
for the first time
279
00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:46,343
because her boyfriend asked nicely.
280
00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:49,680
I said to her, "Really?"
281
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:02,484
But, seriously, Little Lucas is very cute.
282
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,653
You'll like him a lot,
but he's very manipulative.
283
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,655
He showed up like this:
284
00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:08,282
"Good morning.
285
00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:14,747
I'm Lucas, and there are three things
that I like a lot in humanity,
286
00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:16,957
which are peace and harmony
between people,
287
00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:19,960
my dad Ricardo who left me early on,
288
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:23,672
and everyone who came to the theater
and paid full price.
289
00:15:25,507 --> 00:15:27,134
Hi, Thiago Big Big!"
290
00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:30,471
I said, "What's up, Little Lucas?"
"Terrific.
291
00:15:31,513 --> 00:15:33,599
Today is a bright day, isn't it?
292
00:15:34,141 --> 00:15:37,436
The birds singing, the mice running,
and people playing taco.
293
00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:42,232
My mother said that whoever plays taco
loves the Devil.
294
00:15:43,150 --> 00:15:44,985
She said that people
who play tag on the street
295
00:15:45,069 --> 00:15:47,780
or hide-and-seek or freeze tag
also love the Devil.
296
00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:50,616
She also said people who watch
Knights of the Zodiac,
297
00:15:50,699 --> 00:15:53,202
Digimon, Pokémon, Yu-Gi-Oh!
also love the Devil.
298
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:02,461
I love God, but I wish I could love
the Devil a little, you know?
299
00:16:08,008 --> 00:16:09,843
Nothing I like is a thing for Jesus!
300
00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:15,015
But there is one thing I decided to try,
even though it's a Devil's thing,
301
00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:17,518
because my desire to play taco
is bigger than me.
302
00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:19,770
But the fact is...
303
00:16:20,604 --> 00:16:21,730
to play taco...
304
00:16:22,439 --> 00:16:25,275
I need something I don't have yet,
and that is a friend.
305
00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:27,361
[crowd aahing]
306
00:16:31,573 --> 00:16:35,744
But that's okay, right?
After all, I'm used to being alone.
307
00:16:36,036 --> 00:16:37,413
[crowd aahing]
308
00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:40,499
Just me and Jehovah.
309
00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:44,753
But these days, I promised God
310
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:47,881
I would behave if he gave me a friend
to play taco with,
311
00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:50,175
and I asked that his name
would be 'Thiago'."
312
00:16:51,218 --> 00:16:52,970
So, I cried and said...
313
00:16:53,053 --> 00:16:55,806
[yelping]
314
00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:00,519
[sobbing] "Do you want to play with me?"
315
00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:04,273
And then after all that manipulation,
he said, "Glory to God."
316
00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:07,359
But Little Lucas is really cute.
317
00:17:07,443 --> 00:17:08,861
He's very sweet.
318
00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:10,863
Did you like him?
319
00:17:13,115 --> 00:17:14,867
He's sweet. You can't get mad at him.
320
00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:17,661
Then I said, "Little Lucas, pay attention.
We are next.
321
00:17:17,745 --> 00:17:19,747
Let me explain it to you.
When the ball rolls,
322
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:22,708
you say, "Bring the soda!"
323
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:26,295
He said in a cute way,
"I can't have it. I have diabetes."
324
00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:28,964
I said, "Good God."
325
00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:32,134
Even though I couldn't explain
the stuff to Little Lucas,
326
00:17:32,217 --> 00:17:33,177
we started the game.
327
00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:35,679
It was Little Lucas, can, Thiago Poop.
328
00:17:38,974 --> 00:17:40,184
John, can, me.
329
00:17:40,267 --> 00:17:44,980
John was born 6'5" tall.
He came out of his mother 6'5" tall.
330
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,815
The doctors said, "Pull!
331
00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:49,026
Pull!
332
00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:51,320
The shin has come out!"
333
00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:54,948
When the umbilical cord came out,
it was a kid from the street who pulled.
334
00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:56,283
He said, "Come on!"
335
00:18:07,878 --> 00:18:10,756
He didn't even hold a bat.
It was a fucking ironing board.
336
00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:13,050
One day, when he got up to swing the bat,
337
00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:15,594
Thor pulled it, thinking
it was a hammer. Ridiculous.
338
00:18:16,136 --> 00:18:19,598
But we were not afraid of anyone,
because when you're a kid, you don't care.
339
00:18:19,681 --> 00:18:22,893
I hit the ball three times on the floor.
[thudding]
340
00:18:22,976 --> 00:18:24,228
I said, "Go, Poop!"
341
00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:27,064
[whooshing]
342
00:18:27,147 --> 00:18:29,399
I throw the ball, it passes by Poop
and Little Lucas' can.
343
00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:32,319
He looks at me and says,
"It was so strong, I couldn't catch it."
344
00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:35,739
I said, "Go after the ball, baby."
345
00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:38,534
When he started running,
I realized that we were going to lose.
346
00:18:39,618 --> 00:18:42,412
He ran so slowly,
he looked like an old Japanese woman.
347
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:45,082
Have you seen old Japanese ladies?
348
00:18:45,165 --> 00:18:48,043
I said, "Run, Lucas!"
And he said, "That's fucking hard.
349
00:18:53,423 --> 00:18:54,883
Holy shit...
350
00:18:55,717 --> 00:18:57,344
Nobody tells me anything,
351
00:18:58,303 --> 00:19:00,222
and now I'm here running."
352
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:10,274
"I caught it."
I said, "Now squat and throw it."
353
00:19:10,357 --> 00:19:13,569
Instead of going down
and doing like this, look... [whooshing]
354
00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:14,778
No.
355
00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:16,613
That son of bitch...
356
00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:20,075
crouches down, gets the ball
and throws it up like this, look. [whoosh]
357
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:24,496
A bouncing ball
for the person who's hitting is a gift.
358
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,373
John had the bat on the floor.
359
00:19:26,456 --> 00:19:29,459
The ball was bouncing so much,
he couldn't finish a sentence.
360
00:19:30,335 --> 00:19:32,921
He was like this, "Go...
361
00:19:33,630 --> 00:19:35,424
Oh, this ball will end up here.
362
00:19:36,508 --> 00:19:38,802
How do you throw
a bouncing ball like this?
363
00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:41,680
Remember how I taught you..."
364
00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:46,810
Bow! The ball is gone. Little Lucas
was confused. He says, "Bring the soda!"
365
00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:49,021
I said, "No, Lucas, run!"
366
00:19:49,104 --> 00:19:50,939
Then he said, "This is fucking hard.
367
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:08,457
What a fast game.
368
00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:11,877
No wonder mom said
it was the Devil's game."
369
00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:14,588
Little Lucas comes and goes,
370
00:20:15,005 --> 00:20:18,175
and a game that usually ends
at 2-4, 6-0
371
00:20:18,258 --> 00:20:19,676
was already 16-0.
372
00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:22,304
The game ends in 20.
373
00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:25,432
One minute and nine seconds,
and the game was already 16-0.
374
00:20:26,099 --> 00:20:27,059
I was furious.
375
00:20:27,851 --> 00:20:29,686
I said, "Lucas, come here, quickly."
376
00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:31,146
He said, "What is it?"
377
00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:34,858
I said, "Come here
so I can talk looking at you in the eye."
378
00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:37,402
"I'm not going there.
No, you're going to hit me."
379
00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:40,822
I said, "If you don't come here,
I will go there."
380
00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:42,866
He said,
"I want to see you catch me at home."
381
00:20:44,451 --> 00:20:47,371
It took him four minutes to arrive
at his house. I was at the gate.
382
00:20:48,288 --> 00:20:50,916
I thought of saying something in his face,
but I gave up.
383
00:20:50,999 --> 00:20:53,168
I came to him,
"Hey, Lucas, listen up!
384
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,468
Lucas, do you want to lose this game?
385
00:21:02,886 --> 00:21:04,388
You already lost your father."
386
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:09,059
You have to motivate the guy.
387
00:21:09,643 --> 00:21:12,813
Do you think Afonso is such a success
just because of the jokes?
388
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:16,566
And I motivated him. Shocked?
Little Lucas gets the first ball
389
00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:20,320
and throws it. [whoosh]
One backwards. Junior Blowjob stands up.
390
00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:23,156
I take the second ball and throw it.
391
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,826
Two backwards. The person
sucking Junior's cock stands up.
392
00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:29,413
Little Lucas catches
the third ball and throws it.
393
00:21:29,496 --> 00:21:31,999
It's three backwards.
He's so happy he says,
394
00:21:32,082 --> 00:21:34,751
"Three backwards, hand over the bat."
And a cuss word
395
00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:36,920
that I'd never heard in my life.
396
00:21:37,504 --> 00:21:39,131
He catches the ball and throws it.
397
00:21:39,214 --> 00:21:42,384
"Three backwards, hand over the bat,
you lackwit."
398
00:21:52,936 --> 00:21:55,022
I was happy, but I was like, "Lackwit?
399
00:21:56,732 --> 00:21:59,568
What is 'lackwit'?"
"The same as 'brickhead.'"
400
00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:03,613
I guess that's how religious people
smack talk.
401
00:22:04,364 --> 00:22:06,825
Anyway, Little Lucas got the bat, right?
402
00:22:06,908 --> 00:22:09,494
Since he picked up the bat,
he was the first to hit.
403
00:22:09,578 --> 00:22:13,081
And as soon as he hits,
we lose the bat as quickly as we got it.
404
00:22:14,041 --> 00:22:16,376
Watch. He said, "Go ahead and throw it.
405
00:22:17,294 --> 00:22:18,378
Go ahead.
406
00:22:19,212 --> 00:22:21,798
Because if this game is a Devil's thing,
this will go to hell."
407
00:22:22,799 --> 00:22:24,551
The ball came and he said, "Go!"
408
00:22:28,889 --> 00:22:31,516
I didn't even know
you could hit your own can.
409
00:22:32,768 --> 00:22:34,644
I said, "No, no, no, no, no, no, no!"
410
00:22:35,812 --> 00:22:38,023
And he said,
"My mom is calling me at home."
411
00:22:38,690 --> 00:22:41,360
I said, "No, you will stay with me
until the end. Fuck it!"
412
00:22:42,819 --> 00:22:44,863
I took the ball and said, "Fuck it."
413
00:22:45,864 --> 00:22:48,575
I dipped it in the sewer. [swishing]
414
00:22:49,076 --> 00:22:52,454
If you're from the hood, you know.
When you dip a ball in the sewer,
415
00:22:52,537 --> 00:22:55,248
you throw the ball,
and sludge flies in people's faces.
416
00:22:55,874 --> 00:22:57,834
One day, it blinded one of the kids.
417
00:22:58,335 --> 00:23:00,295
He hit the ball with only one good eye.
418
00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:03,340
The next day, the kid's nickname
was Webcam. I swear to you.
419
00:23:04,174 --> 00:23:06,385
I didn't even care. I said, "Go, John!"
420
00:23:06,468 --> 00:23:08,470
[thudding]
421
00:23:09,054 --> 00:23:09,971
[grunts]
422
00:23:10,305 --> 00:23:11,640
[whooshing]
423
00:23:11,723 --> 00:23:14,059
I threw a hell of a ball,
but John was so good.
424
00:23:14,142 --> 00:23:16,853
He took a step to the right
and hit the ball. Bow!
425
00:23:16,937 --> 00:23:18,355
I was like, "Fuck, no!"
426
00:23:19,189 --> 00:23:20,607
I caught the ball. I'm fast.
427
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:23,276
It went from 16-0 to 18-0.
428
00:23:25,445 --> 00:23:26,405
I'm so mad.
429
00:23:26,947 --> 00:23:28,532
I couldn't get any angrier,
430
00:23:28,782 --> 00:23:31,034
until Lucas, from my team, yells,
431
00:23:31,118 --> 00:23:33,453
"Bring the soda!"
432
00:23:41,962 --> 00:23:43,463
"What did you say, bro?"
433
00:23:45,757 --> 00:23:47,509
"No, don't bring it.
434
00:23:48,969 --> 00:23:52,222
I have diabetes.
I don't even know why I said such a thing.
435
00:23:54,224 --> 00:23:55,559
It was a mistake."
436
00:24:01,231 --> 00:24:03,150
"See why your father left, Lucas?
437
00:24:06,278 --> 00:24:07,612
Hey, Poop, real talk.
438
00:24:08,488 --> 00:24:09,489
[thuds, clicks]
439
00:24:10,991 --> 00:24:13,994
I hate it when, in movies, the creature
turns against the creator...
440
00:24:14,369 --> 00:24:15,704
but 18 to nothing?
441
00:24:15,787 --> 00:24:17,080
[thuds, clicks]
442
00:24:19,499 --> 00:24:23,462
I'm not going to let you humiliate me
in front of my entire hood. So get ready.
443
00:24:23,962 --> 00:24:25,130
[thuds, clicks]
444
00:24:27,090 --> 00:24:29,593
You will see all the wrath
of my power ball."
445
00:24:32,554 --> 00:24:34,181
[thudding, clicks]
446
00:24:39,644 --> 00:24:40,854
[thuds, clicks]
447
00:24:42,522 --> 00:24:43,732
[thuds, clicks]
448
00:24:44,983 --> 00:24:48,028
[thudding, clicking]
449
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:54,242
[whooshes, thuds]
450
00:24:54,493 --> 00:24:55,327
[clicks]
451
00:24:58,330 --> 00:24:59,164
[whooshes]
452
00:24:59,247 --> 00:25:01,249
[fluttering]
453
00:25:03,418 --> 00:25:05,420
[fluttering quiets]
454
00:25:07,756 --> 00:25:10,050
[fluttering intensifies]
455
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:12,594
[thuds]
456
00:25:27,692 --> 00:25:29,736
[chuckling]
457
00:25:30,570 --> 00:25:31,738
"Yes...
458
00:25:32,113 --> 00:25:34,115
you idiotic clown.
459
00:25:35,116 --> 00:25:38,203
The power of my ball is over 30,000,
460
00:25:38,912 --> 00:25:40,080
Kakarot.
461
00:25:41,831 --> 00:25:44,125
When I transform to my second form,
462
00:25:44,209 --> 00:25:47,420
you won't see the color of this ball.
Watch."
463
00:25:48,421 --> 00:25:49,381
[grunts]
464
00:25:50,882 --> 00:25:51,967
[grunts]
465
00:25:54,010 --> 00:25:55,262
[yelping]
466
00:25:57,681 --> 00:25:58,807
[grunts]
467
00:25:59,349 --> 00:26:01,351
[groaning]
468
00:26:01,851 --> 00:26:03,853
[groaning intensifies]
469
00:26:04,312 --> 00:26:07,065
[groaning melodically]
470
00:26:09,859 --> 00:26:11,278
[grunts]
471
00:26:18,410 --> 00:26:19,536
[yelps]
472
00:26:20,036 --> 00:26:21,413
[flutters]
473
00:26:23,415 --> 00:26:24,749
[grunts]
474
00:26:24,958 --> 00:26:26,793
[whooshing]
475
00:26:27,085 --> 00:26:29,296
[zapping]
476
00:26:30,797 --> 00:26:33,008
[clicks, chuckling]
477
00:26:33,341 --> 00:26:35,093
[whooshing]
478
00:26:35,468 --> 00:26:37,596
"You didn't expect that, right, Kakarot?"
479
00:26:39,139 --> 00:26:42,475
Yes, your ki is completely inferior.
480
00:26:42,559 --> 00:26:43,393
[whooshes]
481
00:26:43,852 --> 00:26:44,936
[imitating heartbeat]
482
00:26:51,318 --> 00:26:53,194
[sighs] Get ready.
483
00:26:53,737 --> 00:26:54,738
[whooshes]
484
00:26:57,866 --> 00:26:59,367
Go, Poop!"
485
00:26:59,451 --> 00:27:00,577
[whooshes]
486
00:27:17,636 --> 00:27:19,220
[shouts]
487
00:27:20,180 --> 00:27:21,389
"Car!"
488
00:27:37,822 --> 00:27:39,032
"Go, Poop!"
489
00:27:39,115 --> 00:27:40,492
[whooshes]
490
00:27:40,575 --> 00:27:42,035
I throw the ball even harder.
491
00:27:42,285 --> 00:27:45,914
At that moment, I notice all the details,
and I raise the bat. [whooshes]
492
00:27:46,164 --> 00:27:48,166
[whooshes, thuds]
493
00:27:48,249 --> 00:27:50,001
When the ball hits that bat,
494
00:27:50,460 --> 00:27:52,420
all my hope goes to hell.
495
00:27:54,172 --> 00:27:55,674
[thuds, whooshing]
496
00:27:56,383 --> 00:27:58,468
[in slow motion] "No!
497
00:27:59,344 --> 00:28:01,429
Poop!"
498
00:28:02,889 --> 00:28:03,765
Poop yells...
499
00:28:03,848 --> 00:28:06,935
[in slow motion] "Come on, shit!"
500
00:28:07,519 --> 00:28:12,857
And Little Lucas...
[in slow motion] "Bring the soda!"
501
00:28:22,450 --> 00:28:25,620
Except that the ball happens
to hit the lamppost... [whirring]
502
00:28:25,704 --> 00:28:26,705
...and comes back.
503
00:28:26,955 --> 00:28:29,499
When it comes back,
I can't believe what is happening.
504
00:28:29,582 --> 00:28:31,751
It bounces twice in front of me.
[thudding]
505
00:28:35,046 --> 00:28:38,007
Junior Blowjob yells, "Kick it, asshole!"
506
00:28:38,466 --> 00:28:40,051
I kick it in Poop's face.
507
00:28:40,135 --> 00:28:41,386
[whooshing]
508
00:28:41,469 --> 00:28:43,179
[thuds, ricocheting]
509
00:28:44,305 --> 00:28:45,640
[in English] "You win!"
510
00:28:46,725 --> 00:28:49,060
[in Brazilian Portuguese]
Blowjob yells, "Hand over the bat!"
511
00:28:49,144 --> 00:28:50,937
Little Lucas celebrates like Kaká.
512
00:28:51,938 --> 00:28:53,940
Everyone's excited! It's the kids' time!
513
00:28:54,023 --> 00:28:56,151
I take the bat in the air.
We lose the bat.
514
00:29:02,991 --> 00:29:05,994
[laughs] That's right, man.
Do you know what it's all about?
515
00:29:06,077 --> 00:29:09,372
I'll explain.
When you establish what your rules are,
516
00:29:09,456 --> 00:29:11,416
you understand what happened
in this situation.
517
00:29:11,499 --> 00:29:14,711
I didn't understand the rules,
so I ended up screwing up.
518
00:29:14,794 --> 00:29:16,963
It's what happens
when you don't put yourself out there.
519
00:29:17,046 --> 00:29:19,549
If you don't show who you are,
people will walk all over you,
520
00:29:19,632 --> 00:29:20,759
and you will fall.
521
00:29:20,842 --> 00:29:24,512
When you're done setting up rules,
establish your principles.
522
00:29:24,929 --> 00:29:28,391
Don't be afraid to be several versions
of yourself.
523
00:29:28,475 --> 00:29:30,894
In the hood, we're not encouraged
to be who we want.
524
00:29:30,977 --> 00:29:32,937
We have to be who we want to be,
and that's it.
525
00:29:33,021 --> 00:29:36,274
The first version I wanted to be
was a soccer player. It didn't happen.
526
00:29:36,357 --> 00:29:39,319
The second was the one
I'm going to talk about now.
527
00:29:39,652 --> 00:29:43,114
When I was 14 years old,
I wanted to be a great Axé dancer.
528
00:29:44,407 --> 00:29:46,785
Go fuck yourselves!
We each have our own goals!
529
00:29:47,452 --> 00:29:50,163
I'm here opening up.
Don't judge me, damn it!
530
00:29:50,830 --> 00:29:53,833
I was able to be a great Axé dancer.
I want to tell you this story.
531
00:29:53,917 --> 00:29:57,420
Do you know why I started dancing Axé?
Because Dad liked Michael Jackson a lot.
532
00:29:57,837 --> 00:29:58,838
[woman laughs]
533
00:30:01,216 --> 00:30:03,843
And I wanted to be a dancer
like him, you know?
534
00:30:03,927 --> 00:30:07,514
I didn't know how to dance,
so I tried Axé. My dad loved Michael.
535
00:30:07,597 --> 00:30:10,016
I wanted him to love me
as much as he loved Michael.
536
00:30:10,517 --> 00:30:12,227
He lied a lot about Michael Jackson.
537
00:30:12,310 --> 00:30:14,479
One day I asked him,
"Where was Michael Jackson born?"
538
00:30:14,562 --> 00:30:15,730
He said, "Diadema."
539
00:30:18,608 --> 00:30:21,402
I said, "Damn, do they watch Jukanalha?"
540
00:30:22,195 --> 00:30:25,031
One day I asked him, "Dad,
why do you like Michael Jackson so much?"
541
00:30:25,114 --> 00:30:26,950
"He is the most focused man in the world."
542
00:30:27,033 --> 00:30:30,245
I said, "Give an example of focus."
"Son, he was black and turned white.
543
00:30:32,038 --> 00:30:35,625
Nobody knew if it was possible.
If he did it, it's because he had focus."
544
00:30:35,708 --> 00:30:37,627
"Dad, do you like his singing
or dancing better?
545
00:30:37,710 --> 00:30:40,129
He said, "He's a great singer,
but he's an amazing dancer."
546
00:30:40,213 --> 00:30:43,216
So, at the age of 14,
I started dancing like Michael Jackson.
547
00:30:43,716 --> 00:30:45,134
I was fucking awesome.
548
00:30:46,010 --> 00:30:49,264
Only when you dance like him,
people stop talking to you.
549
00:30:50,181 --> 00:30:53,142
You are unbearable.
They said, "Thiago." I would say, "Yes."
550
00:30:54,352 --> 00:30:55,353
It was ridiculous.
551
00:30:55,937 --> 00:31:00,316
Everyone walking down the street,
I'd say, "Hey, I don't know this place."
552
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:02,026
I wanted to be like Michael Jackson.
553
00:31:02,110 --> 00:31:04,821
One day my mother said, "A cockroach."
"I killed it."
554
00:31:05,321 --> 00:31:08,032
I wanted to be Michael Jackson.
One day the bus didn't stop,
555
00:31:08,116 --> 00:31:09,909
I said, "Hey, come on.
556
00:31:10,201 --> 00:31:11,536
I just want to go home."
557
00:31:19,168 --> 00:31:20,628
But my Dad wouldn't let me!
558
00:31:20,712 --> 00:31:23,715
He said, "You will never be
like Michael Jackson. Do you know why?
559
00:31:23,798 --> 00:31:26,384
Because he knows God personally."
560
00:31:27,677 --> 00:31:29,721
"Hell, but he knows everyone.
561
00:31:30,972 --> 00:31:33,683
Where did you get that from?"
He said, "Watch his show.
562
00:31:33,975 --> 00:31:38,104
He spins, snaps his finger,
and a divine light falls on him."
563
00:31:39,105 --> 00:31:41,441
It was the first time I thought,
"Fuck you, dude."
564
00:31:44,903 --> 00:31:46,988
Now that I have my own show,
check this out.
565
00:31:49,532 --> 00:31:51,200
[crowd cheering]
566
00:31:53,703 --> 00:31:54,787
Got it?
567
00:32:00,335 --> 00:32:03,963
I think it rocks to have this light here,
you know? This whole structure.
568
00:32:04,047 --> 00:32:05,673
And I'm still a Michael Jackson fan.
569
00:32:05,757 --> 00:32:08,968
If you are also
a Michael Jackson fan, say, "Me!"
570
00:32:09,052 --> 00:32:10,053
[crowd] Me!
571
00:32:10,136 --> 00:32:13,348
If you think there will never be anyone
in the world of pop
572
00:32:13,431 --> 00:32:15,934
-as great as Michael Jackson, say, "Me!"
-[crowd] Me!
573
00:32:16,017 --> 00:32:20,104
So everybody here agrees that Michael
was the pedophile that we loved the most?
574
00:32:20,188 --> 00:32:22,190
[crowd laughing quietly]
575
00:32:25,401 --> 00:32:28,196
Guys, what happened?
You had so much to say earlier.
576
00:32:29,739 --> 00:32:31,574
Michael Jackson is a pedophile, man.
577
00:32:31,658 --> 00:32:33,451
Do you think it makes me happy
to say that?
578
00:32:33,534 --> 00:32:36,621
I'm a fan of the guy, I love the guy
to this day. I'm not happy, no.
579
00:32:36,704 --> 00:32:39,749
The first time someone spoke badly
about him in front of me, I was pissed.
580
00:32:39,832 --> 00:32:42,251
Do you know who did it? William Bonner.
581
00:32:43,753 --> 00:32:46,506
So, I was home in the hood, chilling.
582
00:32:46,589 --> 00:32:50,468
Bonner says, "Michael Jackson
is accused of pedophilia." I said, "No!
583
00:32:50,927 --> 00:32:52,512
No, William, no!
584
00:32:53,930 --> 00:32:56,099
How could you believe those liars?"
585
00:32:57,976 --> 00:33:01,437
I was offended, bro.
The day after, he started the show like,
586
00:33:01,521 --> 00:33:03,982
"Good evening."
I said, "Go fuck yourself!"
587
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:06,317
Good evening my ass.
588
00:33:06,401 --> 00:33:09,320
If he came to my street,
he would've been threatened and slapped.
589
00:33:12,573 --> 00:33:14,283
Why do I think Michael is a pedophile?
590
00:33:14,367 --> 00:33:18,162
Because, like Dave Chappelle,
I watched the HBO special
591
00:33:18,246 --> 00:33:22,625
that talked about all the people
who accused Michael Jackson of pedophilia.
592
00:33:23,126 --> 00:33:26,129
By the way, now that I'm on Netflix,
I want to say something.
593
00:33:27,213 --> 00:33:28,673
Hey, Dave Chappelle...
594
00:33:29,841 --> 00:33:33,594
in Brazil, many comedians look up to you.
595
00:33:33,678 --> 00:33:34,595
You feel me?
596
00:33:34,679 --> 00:33:39,308
To me, you are the closest living thing
to Richard Pryor.
597
00:33:39,392 --> 00:33:41,227
And I have a dream.
598
00:33:41,310 --> 00:33:43,938
And in that dream,
I smoke a joint with you.
599
00:33:55,074 --> 00:33:58,786
So, even though I know this shit
has subtitles, I have to...
600
00:33:59,495 --> 00:34:02,540
make this request in English.
601
00:34:06,669 --> 00:34:07,587
[in English] Look.
602
00:34:09,881 --> 00:34:11,674
Hey, Mr. Dave Chappelle.
603
00:34:12,341 --> 00:34:13,801
I have a dream.
604
00:34:16,345 --> 00:34:17,805
And nesse dream...
605
00:34:26,481 --> 00:34:28,149
[laughing]
606
00:34:29,817 --> 00:34:31,861
I have a question for you.
607
00:34:33,488 --> 00:34:34,572
Mr. Dave,
608
00:34:35,698 --> 00:34:37,075
do you want...
609
00:34:41,287 --> 00:34:42,789
fumar a joint with me?
610
00:34:48,419 --> 00:34:50,463
[in Brazilian Portuguese]
I'm your fan, man, for real.
611
00:34:52,924 --> 00:34:55,134
Why do I think Michael Jackson
really is a pedophile?
612
00:34:55,218 --> 00:34:57,386
Because, like Dave Chappelle,
I watched the HBO special.
613
00:34:57,470 --> 00:35:01,182
By the way, I want all of you to watch
Dave Chappelle's Sticks & Stones.
614
00:35:01,265 --> 00:35:04,143
He tells some jokes saying
that Michael Jackson is not a pedophile,
615
00:35:04,227 --> 00:35:06,312
and I'm here saying that he is
a pedophile. Why?
616
00:35:06,395 --> 00:35:08,314
Because, in my opinion, he is.
617
00:35:09,690 --> 00:35:11,526
I watched that documentary.
618
00:35:11,609 --> 00:35:15,738
And those people who accused him
said some very crazy things.
619
00:35:16,114 --> 00:35:19,117
You have to have a lot of courage
to make that up.
620
00:35:19,492 --> 00:35:23,246
So since there was a camera on,
and they had to speak the truth,
621
00:35:23,329 --> 00:35:26,165
I'm sure that Michael Jackson
is a pedophile.
622
00:35:26,249 --> 00:35:30,002
I've been punched in the face,
and I've never forgotten his face.
623
00:35:30,086 --> 00:35:32,672
Imagine if he had stuck
his finger inside my ass?
624
00:35:33,631 --> 00:35:37,009
I would be able to tell the story
with all the details.
625
00:35:37,677 --> 00:35:40,680
At the same time, I think he is
a pedophile, I don't think he died.
626
00:35:40,763 --> 00:35:42,890
Who thinks Michael Jackson is alive,
say, "Me!"
627
00:35:42,974 --> 00:35:44,433
[crowd] Me!
628
00:35:44,517 --> 00:35:45,810
And that worries me.
629
00:35:47,103 --> 00:35:49,689
Because there's a documentary,
and if he's alive...
630
00:35:51,524 --> 00:35:54,235
there's a good chance he watched it.
631
00:35:55,361 --> 00:35:57,697
I don't know about you,
but I think of jokes for everything.
632
00:35:57,780 --> 00:36:01,409
I can imagine Michael Jackson
in front of the TV, naked...
633
00:36:02,743 --> 00:36:04,245
with a hard dick,
634
00:36:05,163 --> 00:36:07,290
looking at his friend and saying, "Tito...
635
00:36:09,542 --> 00:36:11,711
these kids are all assholes.
636
00:36:13,296 --> 00:36:15,173
They promised to keep it secret.
637
00:36:16,299 --> 00:36:19,719
I barely died, and they are on TV
spilling the beans. Look, Tito!"
638
00:36:20,553 --> 00:36:23,389
Why am I talking about this?
Because something caught my attention
639
00:36:23,472 --> 00:36:25,558
at the time the accusations started.
640
00:36:25,641 --> 00:36:28,936
People went crazy.
They were like, "Motherfucker!
641
00:36:29,020 --> 00:36:33,065
How can you, an adult man,
accuse an old man,
642
00:36:33,149 --> 00:36:36,652
a millionaire like him, of pedophilia?
Do you want to take his money?
643
00:36:37,236 --> 00:36:39,614
Why didn't you say that
when you were a child?
644
00:36:39,697 --> 00:36:43,367
Why did you have to grow up
to say that someone abused you?
645
00:36:43,451 --> 00:36:44,493
Why?"
646
00:36:45,703 --> 00:36:47,079
Because he was a child.
647
00:36:48,372 --> 00:36:51,000
See why we have to talk to our kids
about sex?
648
00:36:51,083 --> 00:36:53,002
But then we turn on the TV,
649
00:36:53,085 --> 00:36:57,381
and there's an idiot saying,
"Don't talk about sex with kids, okay?"
650
00:36:58,883 --> 00:37:00,593
That's just messed up.
651
00:37:10,853 --> 00:37:11,938
And, honestly,
652
00:37:12,021 --> 00:37:16,067
you won't see me talking about politics,
because I know nothing about it.
653
00:37:16,609 --> 00:37:18,945
Do you know something I know about?
Idiots.
654
00:37:20,363 --> 00:37:23,032
And if you don't understand why
you have to talk about sex with kids,
655
00:37:23,115 --> 00:37:24,450
to me you are an idiot.
656
00:37:24,533 --> 00:37:26,661
Talk about sex with children
so that they understand
657
00:37:26,744 --> 00:37:30,581
that it's okay to fall in love
or feel attracted to either sex.
658
00:37:30,665 --> 00:37:33,251
Because people are attracted
to people, and that's it.
659
00:37:33,334 --> 00:37:34,377
Another thing is:
660
00:37:34,460 --> 00:37:38,381
"If an adult touches you,
it is not affection, it is violence.
661
00:37:38,464 --> 00:37:41,008
Please tell another adult."
662
00:37:41,092 --> 00:37:42,969
When I see
that people didn't understand that,
663
00:37:43,052 --> 00:37:45,930
I wonder what people thought
they were supposed to say.
664
00:37:47,473 --> 00:37:50,685
Should I go to my niece Ingrid, who is 12,
665
00:37:50,768 --> 00:37:53,896
and talk about sex? And say, "So, love...
666
00:37:55,856 --> 00:37:57,942
one day you will get fucked
on all fours.
667
00:38:00,653 --> 00:38:02,613
I didn't want to talk about it, but...
668
00:38:03,698 --> 00:38:06,867
I've never done it, but I've seen
a lot of people on all fours.
669
00:38:07,243 --> 00:38:09,954
Hon, you should put your chest
on the ground..."
670
00:38:11,414 --> 00:38:13,958
Is that what you meant?
No, just a minute.
671
00:38:14,041 --> 00:38:16,585
Was I supposed to go
to my 18-year-old nephew and say,
672
00:38:16,669 --> 00:38:20,840
"When she is lying on her stomach,
open her cheeks, spit on your dick and go.
673
00:38:22,008 --> 00:38:23,634
Like this!
674
00:38:23,718 --> 00:38:24,802
Yes.
675
00:38:24,885 --> 00:38:26,971
Back and forth."
676
00:38:30,308 --> 00:38:34,145
They would never tell others.
No one would believe he was a pedophile.
677
00:38:34,228 --> 00:38:36,856
Because you are so addicted,
you don't realize he's making mistakes.
678
00:38:36,939 --> 00:38:40,776
Just as you don't see priests, pastors,
uncles, parents, etc.
679
00:38:41,485 --> 00:38:43,362
Guys, do you think,
680
00:38:43,446 --> 00:38:46,073
if Michael Jackson had stuck his finger
in my ass,
681
00:38:47,616 --> 00:38:49,243
and I went to tell my dad...
682
00:38:54,707 --> 00:38:57,043
do you think
he would have a problem with that?
683
00:38:58,794 --> 00:38:59,962
I'll act out the scene.
684
00:39:01,547 --> 00:39:03,966
Picture this: I'm coming back
from Michael Jackson's house.
685
00:39:11,932 --> 00:39:13,851
"Hey, Dad, I coming back from Diadema.
686
00:39:24,779 --> 00:39:27,281
Dad, I went to Diadema.
I was talking with Michael Jackson,
687
00:39:27,365 --> 00:39:29,700
and you won't believe it.
He pulled his Billy Jean out.
688
00:39:31,285 --> 00:39:33,454
I didn't understand.
I said, 'Is it Black or White?'
689
00:39:35,122 --> 00:39:37,792
Then he stuck his finger in my ass,
and I said, 'Dangerous.'
690
00:39:38,709 --> 00:39:40,252
Dad, I think he molested me."
691
00:39:40,336 --> 00:39:43,547
I'm sure my father would say,
"I wish it had happened to me!"
692
00:39:44,465 --> 00:39:47,301
But it was because
of Michael Jackson's musical influence
693
00:39:47,385 --> 00:39:48,636
that I started to dance.
694
00:39:48,719 --> 00:39:51,263
At that time, I set up an Axé group
called Swing Moleque.
695
00:39:51,347 --> 00:39:53,516
It was me, Joabe, Felipinho,
696
00:39:53,599 --> 00:39:57,395
Manu, Carina, Jéssica,
Ariana, Michele and Nego Tchan.
697
00:39:58,687 --> 00:40:00,314
Nego Tchan has always been gay.
698
00:40:00,731 --> 00:40:05,444
He was always gay. Gay, gay, gay, gay,
gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay.
699
00:40:05,528 --> 00:40:06,862
Homo, sissy, gay!
700
00:40:08,239 --> 00:40:10,533
Do you know a real gay?
That handsome gay?
701
00:40:10,616 --> 00:40:13,577
Who walks proudly down the street
and lights up the places he walks in?
702
00:40:13,661 --> 00:40:14,829
Everyone loves gays, right?
703
00:40:14,912 --> 00:40:18,082
You're chilling, a gay man shows up,
you say, "Gay!" [giggling]
704
00:40:18,958 --> 00:40:21,919
That's the real gay. He's gay.
705
00:40:22,002 --> 00:40:24,839
"Is it a boy or a girl?"
"It's a gay!"
706
00:40:26,048 --> 00:40:27,675
At the same time that he is gay,
707
00:40:27,758 --> 00:40:31,095
you're straight. Straight, straight,
straight, straight, straight.
708
00:40:31,178 --> 00:40:32,930
Macho, manly, gross!
709
00:40:36,058 --> 00:40:36,934
Right?
710
00:40:40,271 --> 00:40:42,106
He was gay. You know that gay
711
00:40:42,189 --> 00:40:44,900
that recognizes the smell
and spice of the dick?
712
00:40:46,318 --> 00:40:48,070
He was a Waze for dicks.
713
00:40:49,488 --> 00:40:50,823
He is walking, then he stops.
714
00:40:50,906 --> 00:40:53,742
You ask, "What happened?"
"There's a dick 100 feet away."
715
00:40:55,578 --> 00:40:59,039
When I was 14, I made a big mistake
with my gay friend.
716
00:40:59,123 --> 00:41:01,792
I'm not ashamed to say it.
I'd be if I kept making the mistake.
717
00:41:01,876 --> 00:41:05,129
When I say that, women who care
about me are like, "Hey, hey, hey...
718
00:41:07,882 --> 00:41:08,966
Thiago...
719
00:41:09,592 --> 00:41:11,844
what mistake did you make
with your gay friend?
720
00:41:12,178 --> 00:41:14,346
Were you prejudiced?"
721
00:41:15,097 --> 00:41:16,015
No...
722
00:41:16,849 --> 00:41:18,434
I made the mistake when I was 14. I'm 30.
723
00:41:18,517 --> 00:41:20,853
Sixteen years ago,
there in Taboão da Serra,
724
00:41:20,936 --> 00:41:22,813
we didn't know what prejudice was.
725
00:41:22,897 --> 00:41:24,565
We were hungry.
726
00:41:32,031 --> 00:41:33,699
We had other priorities.
727
00:41:35,117 --> 00:41:37,077
"So, what was the mistake, my love?"
728
00:41:37,161 --> 00:41:41,081
I was a jerk.
I followed the negative opinion.
729
00:41:41,165 --> 00:41:45,544
A friend of mine came to me and said,
"Did you know Nego Tchan was gay?"
730
00:41:45,628 --> 00:41:48,714
I said, "Son of a bitch!
731
00:41:49,173 --> 00:41:50,883
He's fucking gay!
732
00:41:51,300 --> 00:41:52,843
I'll tell my grandma."
733
00:41:54,053 --> 00:41:57,681
I left there with a question in my head,
which was, "What is gay?"
734
00:41:58,599 --> 00:42:01,268
I don't know. I'll ask my grandma.
I said, "Grandma, what is gay?"
735
00:42:01,352 --> 00:42:04,104
And she, a woman of God, said, "Satan!
736
00:42:05,231 --> 00:42:06,774
Thiago, listen carefully.
737
00:42:06,857 --> 00:42:10,069
Two men together make a werewolf."
738
00:42:10,152 --> 00:42:12,947
I said, "My goodness.
739
00:42:13,405 --> 00:42:15,866
I have to warn Nego Tchan
before the full moon."
740
00:42:20,871 --> 00:42:23,207
I went to his house,
I looked at him and said, "Nego Tchan,
741
00:42:23,290 --> 00:42:25,417
I will ask you a question.
You answer me. Are you gay?"
742
00:42:25,501 --> 00:42:28,379
He looks at me and says...
[in English] "Never!"
743
00:42:30,297 --> 00:42:33,592
[in Brazilian Portuguese] "Son of a bitch
won't tell me. I'll tell Felipinho.
744
00:42:33,676 --> 00:42:34,635
I said, "Felipinho,
745
00:42:35,302 --> 00:42:37,930
did you know Nego Tchan goes around
sucking people's dicks?
746
00:42:38,013 --> 00:42:39,765
He's homo, sissy, gay!
747
00:42:39,848 --> 00:42:42,476
I don't care if he fucks or gets fucked,
with men or women,
748
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:44,728
friends don't keep secrets.
749
00:42:44,812 --> 00:42:47,022
Why does he have a secret butthole?
750
00:42:47,773 --> 00:42:50,150
Why can't he tell people
he likes to get fucked?
751
00:42:50,234 --> 00:42:52,695
Is he getting fucked by Ocean's Eleven?
752
00:42:53,737 --> 00:42:56,323
Not knowing what to do,
he looked at me and said, "Wait.
753
00:42:57,324 --> 00:42:59,451
Are you saying that Nego Tchan is gay?"
754
00:42:59,535 --> 00:43:02,288
I said, "Felipe...
755
00:43:02,830 --> 00:43:05,291
he spins for some back-door action.
756
00:43:06,333 --> 00:43:09,044
He doesn't have a butthole.
He has a Beyblade."
757
00:43:19,138 --> 00:43:22,141
"No, wait a minute. Are you saying
our Nego Tchan is gay?"
758
00:43:22,224 --> 00:43:23,892
I said, "Felipe...
759
00:43:24,476 --> 00:43:27,313
Throw your dick on the floor.
He'll kick it up
760
00:43:27,396 --> 00:43:28,772
and grab it with his ass!
761
00:43:29,732 --> 00:43:30,983
He's fucking gay!"
762
00:43:36,905 --> 00:43:38,407
"No, hold on a second.
763
00:43:38,490 --> 00:43:39,575
Too much information.
764
00:43:40,117 --> 00:43:41,493
Are you saying...
765
00:43:42,411 --> 00:43:43,996
that Nego Tchan is gay?
766
00:43:44,538 --> 00:43:47,791
Damn... I didn't know.
767
00:43:48,167 --> 00:43:51,754
I'll pay attention. If I find out
that he's gay, let's establish a code.
768
00:43:51,837 --> 00:43:55,132
I'll look at you and do this,
'Big Big...'
769
00:43:55,716 --> 00:43:57,468
Then you know that I know he's gay.
770
00:43:57,551 --> 00:44:00,012
But while I'm not sure, the question is:
771
00:44:00,262 --> 00:44:01,347
Hey, Big Big.
772
00:44:02,181 --> 00:44:04,350
Have you tried
taking care of your own business?"
773
00:44:07,436 --> 00:44:08,270
That hurt.
774
00:44:09,563 --> 00:44:11,774
But he's right. This is pokas ideia.
775
00:44:11,857 --> 00:44:15,819
I saw it in a movie that you need
a lot of courage to face your enemies
776
00:44:15,903 --> 00:44:17,821
and twice as much courage
to face your friends.
777
00:44:17,905 --> 00:44:20,199
Who said that? Albus Dumbledore.
778
00:44:21,659 --> 00:44:23,827
Straight from the Hogwarts hood.
779
00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:27,539
Check out my references.
780
00:44:33,253 --> 00:44:34,380
When I say that,
781
00:44:34,463 --> 00:44:38,092
I find it cool, because whoever applauded
is like this: "Hey, hey, hey...
782
00:44:38,634 --> 00:44:39,802
Thiago...
783
00:44:40,219 --> 00:44:42,096
I am Slytherin!"
784
00:44:43,847 --> 00:44:45,766
We reach the fourth part of the show:
785
00:44:45,849 --> 00:44:48,227
errors enable evolution.
786
00:44:48,560 --> 00:44:51,980
Friends, exchange ideas.
What we need in the hood
787
00:44:52,064 --> 00:44:54,024
is not more people saying we are wrong
788
00:44:54,108 --> 00:44:57,528
but more people telling us
how to get it right. We need a chance.
789
00:44:57,611 --> 00:44:59,530
If it took you this long to become woke,
790
00:44:59,613 --> 00:45:02,366
know that other people
will deconstruct in their own time.
791
00:45:02,449 --> 00:45:04,535
So, help. Don't get in the way.
792
00:45:04,618 --> 00:45:06,995
If I were a smart kid,
when Felipinho said that,
793
00:45:07,079 --> 00:45:09,123
I would've understood. But no...
794
00:45:09,748 --> 00:45:12,167
I was 14 and an idiot.
795
00:45:12,251 --> 00:45:15,963
When Felipinho told me that,
this is the answer I gave him, "Big Big,
796
00:45:16,046 --> 00:45:19,842
have you thought about taking care
of your own business?" I said, "Yes.
797
00:45:20,884 --> 00:45:22,094
Of course I have.
798
00:45:22,720 --> 00:45:25,264
Especially now with two homos
in our group."
799
00:45:26,724 --> 00:45:30,102
And went back to dancing. [vocalizing]
800
00:45:30,185 --> 00:45:32,521
Nego Tchan arrives and does this...
[beeps]
801
00:45:32,604 --> 00:45:35,858
"Attention, boys and girls."
I said, "Felipe...
802
00:45:36,608 --> 00:45:39,361
he's a flamboyant diva!"
803
00:45:40,195 --> 00:45:42,448
"Any news, Nego Tchan?"
He said, "I have three."
804
00:45:42,531 --> 00:45:44,783
I was like, "You have...
[in English] three?
805
00:45:45,451 --> 00:45:47,453
[in Brazilian Portuguese]
He's a bilingual diva!"
806
00:45:48,912 --> 00:45:50,998
Meaning he sucks both ass and dick.
807
00:45:53,041 --> 00:45:56,086
I said, "What's the news?" "The first news
is that I had a bandanna made
808
00:45:56,170 --> 00:45:57,838
with a long ponytail up to the butt.
809
00:45:57,921 --> 00:46:00,924
Now we're all going to be
much more feminine on the show."
810
00:46:08,265 --> 00:46:11,810
"Felipe... Second piece of news."
811
00:46:11,894 --> 00:46:15,814
"I took the liberty of having
capri pants made with an opening here
812
00:46:15,898 --> 00:46:19,234
and a slit that shows
about 60% of our butt.
813
00:46:19,318 --> 00:46:21,779
I call it the flow slit."
814
00:46:22,905 --> 00:46:24,072
"Say what?"
815
00:46:24,573 --> 00:46:29,453
He said, "Flow slit. Flow slit.
Flow slit. Flow slit."
816
00:46:29,536 --> 00:46:31,163
I said, "Flow." He said, "Slit."
817
00:46:32,790 --> 00:46:34,333
"What's it called again?"
818
00:46:34,416 --> 00:46:36,084
He said, "Stop making fun of it."
819
00:46:37,252 --> 00:46:39,713
"Then speak very slowly, 'Flow...'"
820
00:46:45,844 --> 00:46:47,054
"Slit."
821
00:46:48,347 --> 00:46:50,974
"Just give me a second.
I'm going to talk to Felipe."
822
00:47:02,319 --> 00:47:03,654
"Flow...
823
00:47:06,448 --> 00:47:07,991
Gay, man!
824
00:47:08,992 --> 00:47:10,661
He is fucking gay."
825
00:47:12,538 --> 00:47:14,081
"Nego Tchan, what about the third?"
826
00:47:14,164 --> 00:47:16,792
"I'm very disappointed with two people
in the group,
827
00:47:16,875 --> 00:47:21,088
and I'm going to fix their hip movements
the hard way."
828
00:47:22,089 --> 00:47:25,634
I said, "Oh, fuck, who's first?"
He said, "For sure it's Felipinho."
829
00:47:26,385 --> 00:47:30,556
I was such a dick, I celebrated.
I said, "Hey, Felipe...
830
00:47:30,931 --> 00:47:33,767
he's going to fix it the hard way!
831
00:47:34,184 --> 00:47:36,353
He's fucking gay!"
832
00:47:37,813 --> 00:47:41,191
I said, "Second?" He said, "You."
I said, "Look at this guy, Felipe.
833
00:47:42,025 --> 00:47:43,902
How do you fix the hip moment?"
834
00:47:43,986 --> 00:47:47,072
"Tomorrow, you, Felipinho and I
in your room, in your bed."
835
00:47:47,155 --> 00:47:49,199
I said, "Felipe...
836
00:47:50,075 --> 00:47:51,285
Look at me.
837
00:47:53,662 --> 00:47:55,080
Raise your head, my love.
838
00:47:56,123 --> 00:47:57,791
I want you to look me in the eye.
839
00:47:58,292 --> 00:47:59,710
Did you hear what he said?
840
00:48:04,339 --> 00:48:05,382
Felipe...
841
00:48:10,262 --> 00:48:12,347
don't miss tomorrow.
842
00:48:15,601 --> 00:48:17,811
It will be hard for me.
843
00:48:19,062 --> 00:48:21,356
He's not messing around."
844
00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:23,066
The next morning,
845
00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:26,737
I was at one end of the bed,
Felipinho at the other end of the bed,
846
00:48:26,820 --> 00:48:29,865
and Nego Tchan in the middle of the bed.
Nego Tchan says,
847
00:48:29,948 --> 00:48:31,992
"Come on, guys, sit on the bed."
848
00:48:32,075 --> 00:48:33,660
♪ Spread, spread ♪
849
00:48:33,744 --> 00:48:37,164
♪ Keep it flexed
And repeat, repeat ♪
850
00:48:37,247 --> 00:48:39,958
♪ Left, right
And make a ball ♪
851
00:48:40,042 --> 00:48:42,502
♪ Left, right
And make a ball ♪
852
00:48:42,586 --> 00:48:45,255
♪ Left, right
And make a ball ♪
853
00:48:45,339 --> 00:48:47,716
♪ Left, right
And make a ball ♪
854
00:48:47,799 --> 00:48:49,968
♪ Left, right
And make a ball ♪
855
00:48:50,052 --> 00:48:52,721
♪ Left, right
And make a ball ♪
856
00:48:52,804 --> 00:48:55,015
♪ Left, right
And make a ball ♪
857
00:48:55,098 --> 00:48:56,600
♪ That's right, come back ♪
858
00:48:56,683 --> 00:48:58,435
♪ And move it, move it, move it ♪
859
00:48:58,518 --> 00:48:59,770
♪ Mmm, mmm ♪
860
00:48:59,853 --> 00:49:00,771
♪ And go ♪
861
00:49:01,229 --> 00:49:02,856
We danced for a long time.
862
00:49:04,107 --> 00:49:06,318
I think we danced for about seven minutes.
863
00:49:06,985 --> 00:49:11,114
Two embarrassed people and one:
♪ Make a ball, left, right ♪
864
00:49:11,198 --> 00:49:13,867
We danced for about seven minutes.
It took a while.
865
00:49:14,242 --> 00:49:15,994
Nobody was speaking.
866
00:49:17,329 --> 00:49:19,957
In the bedroom, we wouldn't
even look at each other.
867
00:49:21,083 --> 00:49:22,417
A very awkward situation.
868
00:49:23,961 --> 00:49:26,588
Nobody said anything,
and I thought, "Felipe...
869
00:49:28,590 --> 00:49:31,176
look where our friendship ended up, huh?"
870
00:49:31,969 --> 00:49:35,514
About three minutes in, Nego Tchan
stopped saying "left, right, make a ball."
871
00:49:35,597 --> 00:49:36,848
He stopped singing.
872
00:49:37,474 --> 00:49:39,017
Without any music,
873
00:49:39,101 --> 00:49:41,144
we were just three guys doing this.
874
00:49:43,313 --> 00:49:46,775
Felipinho was so embarrassed
that he moved with his arms crossed.
875
00:49:48,235 --> 00:49:50,570
From the waist down, party.
From the waist up, business.
876
00:49:50,654 --> 00:49:51,863
I swear to you.
877
00:49:52,531 --> 00:49:53,991
At one point I said,
878
00:49:54,074 --> 00:49:57,077
"If my father walks in now,
I'm not sure what to say to him."
879
00:50:05,961 --> 00:50:08,422
We rehearsed, we rehearsed, we rehearsed.
880
00:50:08,505 --> 00:50:10,924
We reached the Axé championship finals.
881
00:50:11,633 --> 00:50:14,594
We brought two full buses to cheer for us.
882
00:50:14,678 --> 00:50:18,098
The kids were drumming on the bus.
[beatboxing]
883
00:50:20,434 --> 00:50:22,436
[continues beatboxing melodically]
884
00:50:24,604 --> 00:50:27,733
Hood gets happy with cocaine. So then...
885
00:50:29,067 --> 00:50:31,570
I was dancing... [vocalizing]
886
00:50:31,653 --> 00:50:33,321
Someone pulls me aside.
I said, "The fuck.
887
00:50:33,739 --> 00:50:34,656
Hey, Felipinho,
888
00:50:36,241 --> 00:50:37,743
just in a bandanna and underwear?
889
00:50:39,536 --> 00:50:40,912
Where are your flow pants?"
890
00:50:42,456 --> 00:50:44,583
He said, "Fuck, Big,
that's what I came to tell you.
891
00:50:44,666 --> 00:50:47,335
I forgot the pants at home.
My Dad went to get them.
892
00:50:47,419 --> 00:50:49,212
You know that Nego Tchan
went to buy some oil
893
00:50:49,296 --> 00:50:50,881
to spread all over our bodies?"
894
00:50:53,258 --> 00:50:54,468
I said, "What?"
895
00:50:55,093 --> 00:50:57,429
When I look,
Nego Tchan coming with a tub of oil.
896
00:50:57,512 --> 00:50:59,264
I said,
"Are you frying dumplings, friend?"
897
00:51:00,223 --> 00:51:02,017
He said,
"This is body oil with glitter."
898
00:51:02,100 --> 00:51:03,810
I said, "With glitter, Felipe.
899
00:51:05,187 --> 00:51:07,439
It's not meant for humans.
It's for fairies."
900
00:51:08,899 --> 00:51:10,275
We all had our hands on the wall.
901
00:51:10,358 --> 00:51:12,194
Nego Tchan rubbed oil
on everyone's back.
902
00:51:12,277 --> 00:51:14,988
And then he got to Felipe who only has
a bandanna and underwear on.
903
00:51:15,363 --> 00:51:17,741
Nego Tchan touches Felipe's waist
904
00:51:17,824 --> 00:51:20,202
and starts to rub slowly.
905
00:51:20,869 --> 00:51:23,872
At that moment, you must think
that Felipe is Felipe, but no.
906
00:51:24,456 --> 00:51:26,249
Felipe is a prey.
907
00:51:29,336 --> 00:51:30,295
And Nego Tchan...
908
00:51:30,378 --> 00:51:31,213
Ah!
909
00:51:31,671 --> 00:51:32,964
Nego Tchan.
910
00:51:33,882 --> 00:51:37,594
In the jungle of seduction,
Nego Tchan is a female coyote.
911
00:51:38,553 --> 00:51:39,971
A female wolf.
912
00:51:40,722 --> 00:51:42,516
A female crocodile.
913
00:51:43,850 --> 00:51:45,602
A Chikorita.
914
00:51:47,521 --> 00:51:51,191
Have you ever fucked someone,
and it felt so good you moaned like this?
915
00:51:51,274 --> 00:51:53,026
[moaning deeply]
916
00:51:54,027 --> 00:51:54,945
[laughs]
917
00:51:55,320 --> 00:51:58,281
Nego Tchan was breathing like this.
918
00:51:59,449 --> 00:52:02,035
Nego Tchan reaches
the shoulders and trapezius,
919
00:52:02,744 --> 00:52:04,955
spreads the oil all the way
to Felipe's right arm,
920
00:52:05,038 --> 00:52:07,457
goes to his right
and starts rubbing slowly...
921
00:52:08,208 --> 00:52:11,419
as if it was a very long dick!
922
00:52:12,504 --> 00:52:16,007
Felipe's arm goes back, and the oil
concentration goes to his left shoulder.
923
00:52:16,091 --> 00:52:18,885
And then Felipinho and Nego Tchan
interlace fingers,
924
00:52:19,594 --> 00:52:23,181
as if it was a tantric massage
ending with an amazing hand job.
925
00:52:24,057 --> 00:52:27,853
At that moment, nobody said anything,
but I thought, "Felipe..."
926
00:52:30,105 --> 00:52:33,066
Nego Tchan allowed Felipinho
to go back to his normal state.
927
00:52:33,650 --> 00:52:35,235
And what I expected happens.
928
00:52:35,902 --> 00:52:40,198
Nego Tchan, covered with lust, touches
Felipe's waist and squeezes it. [sighs]
929
00:52:40,699 --> 00:52:43,410
Felipe was talking with Joabe
and didn't notice...
930
00:52:44,369 --> 00:52:46,746
Nego Tchan's malice.
931
00:52:47,455 --> 00:52:48,623
But Nego Tchan...
932
00:52:48,707 --> 00:52:49,541
Ah!
933
00:52:50,125 --> 00:52:51,084
Nego Tchan...
934
00:52:51,543 --> 00:52:54,296
continues to rub Felipe's belly,
935
00:52:54,379 --> 00:52:55,755
going up to his abdomen...
936
00:52:56,381 --> 00:52:59,593
until his thumb reaches the nipple.
937
00:53:09,853 --> 00:53:14,232
Circular movements, the nipple wakes up,
looks up at the head and says, "Felipe!
938
00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:17,360
Someone's rubbing their hand here!
939
00:53:18,028 --> 00:53:20,113
It's a boy's hand, Felipe."
940
00:53:21,198 --> 00:53:24,326
The head gets the call from the nipple,
but when we look down,
941
00:53:24,409 --> 00:53:25,869
Nego Tchan... Ah!
942
00:53:26,995 --> 00:53:27,996
Nego Tchan...
943
00:53:28,538 --> 00:53:31,750
is a treacherous queen!
944
00:53:32,042 --> 00:53:34,377
He puts his hands on Felipe's back,
945
00:53:34,461 --> 00:53:37,672
who keeps talking to Joabe.
He doesn't realize that Nego Tchan...
946
00:53:40,050 --> 00:53:40,884
Ah!
947
00:53:41,384 --> 00:53:42,594
Nego Tchan...
948
00:53:45,055 --> 00:53:46,765
gently touches
949
00:53:46,848 --> 00:53:50,310
Felipe's schlong!
950
00:54:01,154 --> 00:54:03,281
And that's when, for the first time...
951
00:54:19,464 --> 00:54:23,051
I saw Felipe look at me and say,
"Big Big..."
952
00:54:31,559 --> 00:54:32,519
And then...
953
00:54:33,353 --> 00:54:35,230
ten years passed.
954
00:54:36,064 --> 00:54:38,566
My life took a turn for the better
when I started doing comedy.
955
00:54:38,650 --> 00:54:41,653
Some had the audacity to say
I changed the scene.
956
00:54:41,736 --> 00:54:43,989
This is very weird.
It's a really heavy burden.
957
00:54:44,072 --> 00:54:45,782
So, the only thing I managed to do
958
00:54:45,865 --> 00:54:48,702
was to open my eyes,
to watch out for fake friends
959
00:54:48,785 --> 00:54:50,620
and people distancing for no reason.
960
00:54:50,704 --> 00:54:53,748
Looking back,
Felipinho is still my friend to this day.
961
00:54:53,832 --> 00:54:55,875
Unfortunately,
Nego Tchan is no longer around.
962
00:54:56,418 --> 00:54:58,086
But last year, he came back.
963
00:54:58,670 --> 00:55:01,631
He said he wanted to see my show.
I said, "Please, come!"
964
00:55:01,715 --> 00:55:05,010
He showed up, went backstage.
We hugged and kissed.
965
00:55:05,093 --> 00:55:07,887
I look at him very seriously and say,
"Hey, Nego Tchan,
966
00:55:09,097 --> 00:55:10,098
my bad, man.
967
00:55:11,349 --> 00:55:14,602
I'm sorry, during our childhood,
I wish I had been a good friend and...
968
00:55:16,146 --> 00:55:17,022
I was a jerk.
969
00:55:17,522 --> 00:55:19,733
I wanted you to know that I'm sorry and...
970
00:55:20,317 --> 00:55:23,695
I wanted to help you, but I screwed you."
He said, "I wish."
971
00:55:27,073 --> 00:55:28,408
I said, "Come again?"
972
00:55:28,491 --> 00:55:30,952
He said, "I wish, dear.
973
00:55:31,953 --> 00:55:33,705
Thi, everything's fine.
974
00:55:34,080 --> 00:55:36,166
It's not just because I realized
people are horrible,
975
00:55:36,249 --> 00:55:37,959
that I will stop laughing at life.
976
00:55:38,960 --> 00:55:40,420
Life is tough, Thi.
977
00:55:40,837 --> 00:55:43,214
We can't face it with this mindset.
978
00:55:43,298 --> 00:55:44,299
Think about it.
979
00:55:44,799 --> 00:55:48,136
I'm gay, I'm black,
and I'm from the hood."
980
00:55:48,511 --> 00:55:50,138
"It's the combo package, right?"
981
00:55:50,972 --> 00:55:52,807
He said, "Exactly.
982
00:55:52,891 --> 00:55:55,185
It's the prejudice combo pack, so...
983
00:55:55,268 --> 00:55:58,813
I could either laugh at life,
or I could live in eternal sadness."
984
00:55:59,898 --> 00:56:02,609
I said, "Friend, are you okay?"
"I'm fabulous.
985
00:56:04,027 --> 00:56:05,945
And, by the way, Thi...
986
00:56:08,406 --> 00:56:10,158
I want to tell you something.
987
00:56:11,284 --> 00:56:14,120
Oh, Thiago, I was waiting
for the right time, and I think it's now.
988
00:56:14,204 --> 00:56:15,080
Thi,
989
00:56:15,455 --> 00:56:18,083
I've been in love with someone
for a long time now.
990
00:56:18,625 --> 00:56:19,626
And...
991
00:56:21,878 --> 00:56:23,380
I will tell you now.
992
00:56:24,964 --> 00:56:27,425
I'll go get him,
and I'll bring him right back.
993
00:56:32,389 --> 00:56:33,556
Felipe...
994
00:56:48,238 --> 00:56:49,697
can you go get Carlos for me?
995
00:56:51,658 --> 00:56:54,285
Come, Carlos, I'm going to introduce you
to him. He's very nice.
996
00:56:54,369 --> 00:56:56,162
He's got a big head, but he's very nice.
997
00:56:58,665 --> 00:56:59,749
Thi?
998
00:56:59,833 --> 00:57:01,000
[breathes deeply]
999
00:57:01,709 --> 00:57:03,378
This is Carlos.
1000
00:57:04,921 --> 00:57:06,005
My husband.
1001
00:57:06,714 --> 00:57:07,924
And my bride too.
1002
00:57:09,426 --> 00:57:10,969
It depends on the fetish.
1003
00:57:12,804 --> 00:57:15,181
I wanted you to meet him because...
1004
00:57:18,226 --> 00:57:21,479
I never felt so loved and so protected
in my whole life, you know?
1005
00:57:22,689 --> 00:57:24,149
I really wanted you...
1006
00:57:32,157 --> 00:57:33,533
to meet him.
1007
00:57:34,534 --> 00:57:35,743
This is Carlos, Thi."
1008
00:57:36,578 --> 00:57:38,872
I talked with the two of them
for 30 minutes.
1009
00:57:39,289 --> 00:57:43,543
I learned a lot about affection,
about skin color. I was a good listener.
1010
00:57:43,918 --> 00:57:45,462
They are a gay couple, and I'm straight,
1011
00:57:45,545 --> 00:57:47,922
so I had several embarrassing questions
to ask.
1012
00:57:49,507 --> 00:57:52,218
We were in the middle
of a serious conversation when I said,
1013
00:57:52,302 --> 00:57:54,137
"Who's top and who's bottom?"
1014
00:57:56,055 --> 00:57:58,016
I think that shit is funny.
1015
00:57:58,641 --> 00:58:02,020
Nego Tchan knows me. He knows it's a joke.
He said, "Shut up, silly.
1016
00:58:03,229 --> 00:58:04,230
What do you want to know?
1017
00:58:04,314 --> 00:58:07,567
I said, "I want to know how you
maintain such a healthy relationship.
1018
00:58:07,901 --> 00:58:09,235
Do you play FIFA?"
1019
00:58:11,029 --> 00:58:14,657
Nego Tchan knows me. He asked,
"Still having problems with women?"
1020
00:58:16,534 --> 00:58:17,911
"Can I tell you something?
1021
00:58:17,994 --> 00:58:20,955
Every time I see a happy couple,
I try to understand what the deal is.
1022
00:58:21,039 --> 00:58:23,625
Every time I got involved with someone,
I was a complete idiot."
1023
00:58:23,708 --> 00:58:26,586
Nego Tchan looks at me and says,
"Self-awareness, my love.
1024
00:58:27,128 --> 00:58:29,214
You need to be happy by yourself,
1025
00:58:29,297 --> 00:58:31,841
and then you'll understand
that you don't need anybody.
1026
00:58:31,925 --> 00:58:34,802
I was already happy alone, Carlos too.
Now that we've met,
1027
00:58:34,886 --> 00:58:37,222
we are a beautiful, happy gay couple.
1028
00:58:37,514 --> 00:58:38,640
You should try it."
1029
00:58:43,394 --> 00:58:46,397
The first time I thought,
"Do I have to fuck Felipinho once?"
1030
00:58:48,274 --> 00:58:50,777
Two seconds later, I thought,
"I don't think so.
1031
00:58:51,819 --> 00:58:54,489
But I understood about self-awareness.
By the way...
1032
00:58:54,572 --> 00:58:57,992
the two of you are very handsome,
you know?"
1033
00:58:58,076 --> 00:59:00,703
It created a nice, cozy feeling
in the dressing room.
1034
00:59:00,787 --> 00:59:04,499
When I turn around, Felipinho opens
the door. "Felipe! Nego Tchan is here!"
1035
00:59:04,582 --> 00:59:07,043
When we look,
the two of them are French kissing.
1036
00:59:07,126 --> 00:59:09,712
Felipinho says,
"Oh, he's really gay, check it out."
1037
00:59:22,475 --> 00:59:23,476
[sighs]
1038
00:59:24,644 --> 00:59:26,521
It's the final stretch of the show,
my friends.
1039
00:59:26,604 --> 00:59:27,981
[crowd groaning]
1040
00:59:28,064 --> 00:59:29,774
Oh, you're so cute!
1041
00:59:30,817 --> 00:59:32,026
Let's recap.
1042
00:59:32,110 --> 00:59:35,071
Rules, principles, who you are,
1043
00:59:35,321 --> 00:59:36,906
mistakes enable evolution.
1044
00:59:36,990 --> 00:59:39,033
And finally, "Who do you fight for?"
1045
00:59:39,534 --> 00:59:41,911
Establish these five points,
and you are pokas ideia.
1046
00:59:42,453 --> 00:59:44,372
I'm going to say some things.
1047
00:59:44,455 --> 00:59:47,834
If you agree, say "yes."
1048
00:59:47,917 --> 00:59:49,294
Otherwise, just shut up.
1049
00:59:50,920 --> 00:59:52,255
Is your mom annoying?
1050
00:59:52,338 --> 00:59:54,299
-[crowd] Yes!
-Mine too.
1051
00:59:54,799 --> 00:59:56,884
And she goes to church, that tramp.
1052
00:59:58,511 --> 01:00:00,805
I never understood that shit.
The woman leaves the house
1053
01:00:00,888 --> 01:00:03,516
to find Jesus and comes back with Satan.
1054
01:00:04,976 --> 01:00:07,812
Are your brothers and sisters still weird?
1055
01:00:07,895 --> 01:00:10,565
-[crowd] Yes!
-And came out of the same pussy, right?
1056
01:00:11,357 --> 01:00:14,068
It's like it breaks sometimes,
a good one, a bad one...
1057
01:00:15,528 --> 01:00:18,406
Do your uncles and aunts only show up
when they need something?
1058
01:00:18,489 --> 01:00:20,992
-[crowd] Yes!
-Does the rest of the family
1059
01:00:21,075 --> 01:00:23,745
-only run into you when someone dies?
-[crowd] Yes!
1060
01:00:23,828 --> 01:00:27,165
If your family
is just like everyone else's,
1061
01:00:27,248 --> 01:00:29,250
why do you complain
about your family and I don't?
1062
01:00:30,126 --> 01:00:32,795
It's because you don't understand
your role in your family.
1063
01:00:33,254 --> 01:00:36,758
For you who complain about your family,
I have something to say:
1064
01:00:37,467 --> 01:00:40,762
Your family was already annoying
before you were born.
1065
01:00:41,638 --> 01:00:44,182
When you were born,
you just made it worse.
1066
01:00:45,642 --> 01:00:48,394
You are what I call "dead weight."
1067
01:00:49,812 --> 01:00:51,939
You're not worth those Racionais' lyrics
1068
01:00:52,023 --> 01:00:54,484
that say that a flower can bloom
even in the dump.
1069
01:00:54,567 --> 01:00:57,028
You are more garbage at the dump.
1070
01:00:57,111 --> 01:01:00,239
You've yet to figure out it's up to you
to change your family's life.
1071
01:01:00,323 --> 01:01:03,284
You have to be pokas ideia,
so they don't go through the same.
1072
01:01:03,368 --> 01:01:06,454
You don't understand that shit.
You prefer to complain like them.
1073
01:01:06,537 --> 01:01:09,207
Life is water.
Are you going to sink or swim?
1074
01:01:10,500 --> 01:01:12,001
I should be a life coach.
1075
01:01:15,463 --> 01:01:18,466
When I was 14, I went down the street
to talk with some kids,
1076
01:01:19,384 --> 01:01:23,137
and I see my friend Fábio getting punched
and shot in the chest seven times.
1077
01:01:23,763 --> 01:01:25,431
He died in front of everyone.
1078
01:01:26,057 --> 01:01:29,102
He was murdered. I was 14 years old.
1079
01:01:31,437 --> 01:01:35,316
[sighs] Until you understand what this is,
you will not understand the scar.
1080
01:01:35,400 --> 01:01:37,402
You'll not understand
people from the hood.
1081
01:01:37,944 --> 01:01:39,654
But I can't come here,
1082
01:01:40,029 --> 01:01:44,033
say this and leave this awkward mood here.
1083
01:01:44,659 --> 01:01:48,121
No. I have to make you laugh
at this disgrace.
1084
01:01:48,705 --> 01:01:52,083
So, I will joke about Fábio's death.
1085
01:01:53,668 --> 01:01:57,130
Right now the women are like this,
"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey...
1086
01:01:57,922 --> 01:01:59,298
Thiago,
1087
01:01:59,841 --> 01:02:02,510
do you think people will laugh
at Fábio's death?"
1088
01:02:02,593 --> 01:02:04,011
[crowd] Yes.
1089
01:02:04,762 --> 01:02:07,223
Because it's not about the subject.
It's about the comedian.
1090
01:02:07,306 --> 01:02:10,059
When I was 14, I went down the street
to talk with some kids,
1091
01:02:10,143 --> 01:02:12,937
and I see my friend Fábio getting punched
and shot seven times.
1092
01:02:13,020 --> 01:02:15,314
My question is, "Was the punch necessary?"
1093
01:02:21,070 --> 01:02:22,113
It wasn't.
1094
01:02:27,702 --> 01:02:29,287
So, what did I do?
1095
01:02:29,370 --> 01:02:31,873
At 18, I decided that, when I turned 30,
I'd give my mom a house.
1096
01:02:31,956 --> 01:02:34,208
And I did. At 30, I would have
my house. I do.
1097
01:02:34,292 --> 01:02:36,586
At 30, I would be financially independent,
and I am.
1098
01:02:36,669 --> 01:02:40,131
At 30, I would have an amazing car.
I have a Chevy, but I'm working on it.
1099
01:02:41,340 --> 01:02:43,176
And, at 30, I promised my family
1100
01:02:43,259 --> 01:02:45,470
we would all go once a year somewhere
1101
01:02:45,845 --> 01:02:47,722
that is not Mongaguá.
1102
01:02:49,390 --> 01:02:52,435
Not that I don't like Mongaguá,
but I've been there a lot.
1103
01:02:52,518 --> 01:02:55,188
I set foot on the sand,
the ringworm says, "Thiago!"
1104
01:02:56,272 --> 01:02:57,440
And I'm very proud
1105
01:02:57,523 --> 01:03:00,902
that the first trip I took with my family
1106
01:03:00,985 --> 01:03:05,198
was to Disney, do you feel me?
1107
01:03:05,615 --> 01:03:06,866
That's right, my brother.
1108
01:03:06,949 --> 01:03:09,118
It's about progress, people.
1109
01:03:09,202 --> 01:03:10,495
Work for everyone.
1110
01:03:10,578 --> 01:03:12,789
My talent, my punchlines,
1111
01:03:12,872 --> 01:03:15,750
my thing, my performance,
1112
01:03:15,833 --> 01:03:18,211
and your money!
1113
01:03:19,462 --> 01:03:21,714
It was you who financed this thing.
1114
01:03:23,007 --> 01:03:25,134
And can I tell you something?
1115
01:03:26,052 --> 01:03:29,180
When we film this for Netflix,
the whole world will see it.
1116
01:03:29,263 --> 01:03:31,599
Brazilians will see our victory
and will say,
1117
01:03:31,682 --> 01:03:34,977
"Fuck, the kid went to Disney!
That's right!"
1118
01:03:35,853 --> 01:03:38,397
On the other hand,
the gringos will also watch it.
1119
01:03:40,983 --> 01:03:44,862
And they will be like this, "Look, honey.
They celebrate that they went to Disney!"
1120
01:03:46,572 --> 01:03:47,990
Since I'm unashamed,
1121
01:03:48,074 --> 01:03:50,368
hey, Netflix camera, zoom in on my face.
1122
01:03:50,451 --> 01:03:52,036
Just a little, 'cause it's fat.
1123
01:03:52,954 --> 01:03:54,622
Hey, motherfucking gringo,
1124
01:03:54,705 --> 01:03:56,290
respect my trip to Disney,
1125
01:03:56,374 --> 01:03:59,460
because you don't know what it's like
at Playcenter!
1126
01:04:02,463 --> 01:04:04,674
Respect me as a human being, damn it!
1127
01:04:05,049 --> 01:04:08,511
You don't know what it's like to spend
14 hours in line at a roller coaster,
1128
01:04:08,886 --> 01:04:11,806
the guy looks at you and says,
"It is undergoing maintenance."
1129
01:04:13,224 --> 01:04:15,142
It makes you want to murder everyone.
1130
01:04:16,936 --> 01:04:19,021
From age 18 until 30, I saved a lot.
1131
01:04:19,105 --> 01:04:21,107
Not a lot of money, a lot of saving.
1132
01:04:21,190 --> 01:04:24,610
For example, I always had to choose
the cheapest. Let's see if you get it.
1133
01:04:24,694 --> 01:04:27,780
If I was going to eat,
would I choose Fofura or Fandangos?
1134
01:04:27,864 --> 01:04:29,657
-[crowd] Fofura!
-Fofura.
1135
01:04:29,740 --> 01:04:32,869
I would eat onion-and-parsley-flavored
plastic to save money.
1136
01:04:33,828 --> 01:04:36,831
-Toddynho or Xocopinho?
-[crowd] Xocopinho!
1137
01:04:36,914 --> 01:04:39,876
The chocolate milk of the rat.
1138
01:04:40,710 --> 01:04:44,547
You drink three of those,
your belly says, "Oh, boy!"
1139
01:04:47,717 --> 01:04:49,594
-[crowd applauding]
-[laughs]
1140
01:04:50,928 --> 01:04:52,471
Such a great audience.
1141
01:04:55,016 --> 01:04:57,184
When you spend too much time
just thinking about money
1142
01:04:57,268 --> 01:05:00,771
to change your family's life,
you end up becoming a materialistic guy.
1143
01:05:00,855 --> 01:05:03,399
But when I went to Disney,
I didn't have to worry about money.
1144
01:05:03,482 --> 01:05:06,527
It was our first time abroad.
We had to enjoy each other, right?
1145
01:05:06,611 --> 01:05:07,486
[crowd] Yes!
1146
01:05:07,570 --> 01:05:10,239
I thought about it,
and I said, "Be cool, man."
1147
01:05:10,531 --> 01:05:13,492
I thought about it,
and I said, "Fuck the money!"
1148
01:05:13,576 --> 01:05:17,038
I put my whole family in a plane.
1149
01:05:18,956 --> 01:05:20,541
And that was hard, bro.
1150
01:05:22,168 --> 01:05:25,880
I don't know if you've already succeeded
in doing something for those you love.
1151
01:05:26,839 --> 01:05:28,424
But it's a great feeling.
1152
01:05:29,550 --> 01:05:32,178
When I saw them there, I said,
"Fuck, bro, that's amazing.
1153
01:05:32,553 --> 01:05:34,639
Everyone is happy,
everyone accomplished.
1154
01:05:34,722 --> 01:05:37,892
It was my sweat, you know?
My work, my discipline."
1155
01:05:38,267 --> 01:05:40,519
When I look at
my four-year-old niece, Yasmin,
1156
01:05:40,937 --> 01:05:43,272
she has that smile, you know?
1157
01:05:43,356 --> 01:05:46,150
Of someone who's eating
a nine-dollar churro.
1158
01:05:54,408 --> 01:05:56,118
Why is that shit so expensive?
1159
01:05:58,371 --> 01:06:01,958
I look at my mother, and she's buying
this 150-dollar sweatshirt.
1160
01:06:03,292 --> 01:06:05,419
My mother is cold. She is cold.
1161
01:06:08,965 --> 01:06:11,300
She said, "Wow, it's so chilly."
1162
01:06:12,677 --> 01:06:14,595
I said, "Hang on until we get home."
1163
01:06:15,846 --> 01:06:18,349
She said, "No, I'm going to buy
a sweatshirt. I'm cold."
1164
01:06:18,891 --> 01:06:20,059
She's cold, my mom.
1165
01:06:20,476 --> 01:06:21,477
My mom.
1166
01:06:22,979 --> 01:06:26,148
She's been going through menopause for
seven years and hasn't felt cold since.
1167
01:06:27,858 --> 01:06:29,735
But at Disney, she couldn't take it.
1168
01:06:30,695 --> 01:06:32,363
She could only take so much.
1169
01:06:34,240 --> 01:06:37,368
I look around,
my whole family is there, having fun.
1170
01:06:38,119 --> 01:06:39,870
Spending my dollars.
1171
01:06:41,706 --> 01:06:45,126
It was the first time
that I missed Mongaguá.
1172
01:06:45,751 --> 01:06:47,586
I said, "Fuck it.
I won't worry about money."
1173
01:06:47,670 --> 01:06:50,631
My niece walks up to me and says,
"Uncle! [giggling]
1174
01:06:51,924 --> 01:06:54,719
My belly is growling."
1175
01:06:55,803 --> 01:06:57,972
I said, "Are you hungry?"
She said, "I'm hungry."
1176
01:06:58,055 --> 01:07:01,308
My niece is very cute.
The other day she said something funny.
1177
01:07:01,392 --> 01:07:03,102
She said, "Uncle! [giggling]
1178
01:07:03,894 --> 01:07:06,397
My father said he only kind of likes you."
1179
01:07:08,232 --> 01:07:10,526
I said, "Tell him that we are even!"
1180
01:07:11,902 --> 01:07:13,946
I said, "Iara, let's have lunch.
1181
01:07:14,030 --> 01:07:16,323
Did you book the lunch
where we can meet Mickey?
1182
01:07:16,407 --> 01:07:18,409
She said, "I did.
Mickey arrives in ten minutes."
1183
01:07:18,492 --> 01:07:21,120
I said, "That's right! We made it, fool!"
1184
01:07:21,203 --> 01:07:25,374
We're eating, and Mickey arrives.
My niece says, "Mickey is here!"
1185
01:07:25,458 --> 01:07:26,792
I said, "Wow!
1186
01:07:27,626 --> 01:07:29,045
Be cool, girl!
1187
01:07:31,213 --> 01:07:33,382
On the outside, it's Mickey.
But who knows who's inside?
1188
01:07:34,383 --> 01:07:36,177
What if it's Michael Jackson?
1189
01:07:40,306 --> 01:07:42,016
Be cool, come on!"
1190
01:07:46,353 --> 01:07:50,357
Since I'm from Brazil and from the hood,
I took her hand, and I said, "Excuse me.
1191
01:07:50,691 --> 01:07:54,111
Can you take a picture
with my niece, you rat?
1192
01:08:03,579 --> 01:08:06,957
If she fucking cries,
things are going to get heated here!
1193
01:08:07,792 --> 01:08:08,751
Do it!"
1194
01:08:10,753 --> 01:08:13,005
I sat in my chair
with the posture of a thug.
1195
01:08:14,965 --> 01:08:16,675
We're eating, this woman shows up.
1196
01:08:16,759 --> 01:08:19,762
I said, "Hi, dear."
She gave me the bill. It was 440 dollars.
1197
01:08:20,638 --> 01:08:22,264
That's 1,700 reais.
1198
01:08:22,723 --> 01:08:23,641
Lunch.
1199
01:08:25,392 --> 01:08:26,727
Without the plane tickets.
1200
01:08:29,313 --> 01:08:32,274
Mickey was there, but I thought
it was Elsa because I was frozen.
1201
01:08:34,527 --> 01:08:36,987
The woman said, "How are you paying?"
I said, "I don't know.
1202
01:08:38,572 --> 01:08:40,616
Do you accept ass? My sisters are here."
1203
01:08:51,377 --> 01:08:53,462
I said, "Why is it 1,700 reais?"
1204
01:08:53,546 --> 01:08:55,422
She said,
"Because you had lunch with Mickey."
1205
01:08:55,506 --> 01:08:57,299
I said, "That motherfucking rat!
1206
01:08:57,758 --> 01:09:00,052
Why don't you go back to the manhole
with the Ninja Turtles?
1207
01:09:00,136 --> 01:09:04,306
For 1,700 reais,
Goofy should go down on my mom.
1208
01:09:05,349 --> 01:09:07,935
I hope this chicken is Uncle Scrooge,
1209
01:09:08,018 --> 01:09:10,020
for 1,700 reais!"
1210
01:09:12,565 --> 01:09:15,651
So, I made a huge scene.
When I look, my family is like this:
1211
01:09:18,904 --> 01:09:22,283
So, again, I'm ashamed. I think, "Again?
1212
01:09:22,908 --> 01:09:25,494
Thinking about money first
and my family second."
1213
01:09:25,578 --> 01:09:28,831
But 1,700 reais?
1214
01:09:28,914 --> 01:09:30,332
For a lunch?
1215
01:09:32,501 --> 01:09:34,170
I wasn't the only one mad.
1216
01:09:34,879 --> 01:09:37,631
There was another Brazilian family there
screaming like crazy.
1217
01:09:38,048 --> 01:09:39,758
He was angrier than me.
1218
01:09:39,842 --> 01:09:42,178
At one point he said,
"Take it easy my ass!"
1219
01:09:54,648 --> 01:09:57,109
I looked at the 1,700,
and when I look to the side,
1220
01:09:57,193 --> 01:09:59,153
my niece Yasmin was hugging Mickey.
1221
01:09:59,904 --> 01:10:01,822
She looks at Mickey and says,
1222
01:10:01,906 --> 01:10:02,781
"Mickey...
1223
01:10:03,282 --> 01:10:04,283
[giggling]
1224
01:10:05,409 --> 01:10:06,952
...you are so handsome."
1225
01:10:07,453 --> 01:10:09,205
And Mickey says... [squeaks]
1226
01:10:12,416 --> 01:10:15,961
I looked at that and said,
"Fuck, I was worried about money."
1227
01:10:17,129 --> 01:10:18,339
So, I finally got it.
1228
01:10:18,756 --> 01:10:22,384
I looked at the 1,700 and said,
"I can split it in ten 170 installments."
1229
01:10:23,552 --> 01:10:26,388
I forgot about the money and said,
"Yasmin, my love,
1230
01:10:27,348 --> 01:10:29,225
I love you very much, you know?"
1231
01:10:29,808 --> 01:10:31,727
She looks at me, smiles, and I hear...
1232
01:10:32,019 --> 01:10:32,937
[squeaks]
1233
01:10:34,104 --> 01:10:36,565
"I'm not talking to you,
motherfucking rat!
1234
01:10:36,649 --> 01:10:39,443
Do you think I'm afraid of you?
Call Pluto!"
1235
01:10:44,156 --> 01:10:45,908
"I love you too, uncle.
1236
01:10:46,575 --> 01:10:48,535
Your head is just like Mickey's."
1237
01:10:50,788 --> 01:10:55,084
I looked at that smile, I looked
at the 1,700 and said, "Not worth it."
1238
01:10:56,168 --> 01:10:59,380
With 1,700, I could have given
my niece Firmino's teeth.
1239
01:10:59,964 --> 01:11:02,132
That crazy dude
has some bright white teeth.
1240
01:11:02,216 --> 01:11:04,218
He gargles with bleach.
1241
01:11:05,469 --> 01:11:09,348
We finish lunch and go to Pandora,
the Blue City of Avatar.
1242
01:11:09,431 --> 01:11:11,558
That place is so weird.
1243
01:11:12,268 --> 01:11:15,604
All blue, just like now.
You can't recognize anyone.
1244
01:11:16,272 --> 01:11:19,817
Insane. And there are some noises,
so it feels like Pandora.
1245
01:11:19,900 --> 01:11:23,988
There are some hidden speakers
making sounds like-- [fluttering]
1246
01:11:26,865 --> 01:11:28,867
[screeching]
1247
01:11:29,159 --> 01:11:30,619
[purring]
1248
01:11:30,703 --> 01:11:32,204
[chittering]
1249
01:11:33,706 --> 01:11:37,042
I'm walking with my family,
and my mom says, "This place is cursed.
1250
01:11:38,836 --> 01:11:41,964
This place needs a prayer.
You need about 40 priests
1251
01:11:42,047 --> 01:11:43,382
to bless this place.
1252
01:11:43,465 --> 01:11:46,760
This place hasn't seen
a Bible in two months."
1253
01:11:47,177 --> 01:11:48,470
I said, "This is another planet."
1254
01:11:48,554 --> 01:11:50,848
"Another planet my ass, Thiago.
This place...
1255
01:11:51,348 --> 01:11:53,600
is cursed by Satan."
1256
01:11:54,018 --> 01:11:56,270
I said, "We're at the world of Pandora.
1257
01:11:56,353 --> 01:11:58,647
You know the blue people from Smurfs?
1258
01:12:00,816 --> 01:12:02,359
We stop in a room and hear--
1259
01:12:02,443 --> 01:12:04,278
[hissing]
1260
01:12:04,778 --> 01:12:06,405
"Welcome, earthlings.
1261
01:12:06,864 --> 01:12:08,866
Welcome to Pandora.
1262
01:12:09,450 --> 01:12:13,120
Today you will participate in
the first simulator flight of your life.
1263
01:12:13,203 --> 01:12:17,207
If you pass, you will be able
to live among the avatars.
1264
01:12:17,499 --> 01:12:20,252
Go to the next room
and climb on the devices."
1265
01:12:20,336 --> 01:12:22,004
Damn it!
1266
01:12:22,087 --> 01:12:23,505
[whirring]
1267
01:12:23,589 --> 01:12:24,423
[thuds]
1268
01:12:24,506 --> 01:12:26,508
I said, "Fuck!"
1269
01:12:27,384 --> 01:12:30,679
I got on the thing
as if it were an expensive motorcycle.
1270
01:12:31,263 --> 01:12:34,850
I looked at my nephew and said,
"It's a Hornet, fool!
1271
01:12:35,976 --> 01:12:38,604
Hey, Mom, where's my Juliet?
I want to look my best."
1272
01:12:39,688 --> 01:12:42,816
I see my mother putting on the 3D glasses.
She's short-sighted.
1273
01:12:43,609 --> 01:12:45,486
She puts on the 3D glasses
1274
01:12:45,569 --> 01:12:48,155
and says, "I can see again, son."
I said, "My God."
1275
01:12:49,281 --> 01:12:52,076
I didn't understand what was happening.
To me, it was all machines.
1276
01:12:52,159 --> 01:12:55,746
When I put on the glasses,
I immediately entered Pandora.
1277
01:12:55,829 --> 01:12:58,207
I said, "Fuck me!"
1278
01:12:58,290 --> 01:13:00,417
The woman appears and says,
1279
01:13:00,501 --> 01:13:03,504
"Everything that happens in the simulator
will happen to you in real life,
1280
01:13:03,587 --> 01:13:07,549
so, hold on tight." She disappears.
When I look down, where's the bike?
1281
01:13:07,633 --> 01:13:10,135
It's a 26-foot bird, man.
1282
01:13:10,219 --> 01:13:12,221
All blue!
1283
01:13:13,055 --> 01:13:14,765
I named it São Caetano.
1284
01:13:17,226 --> 01:13:20,354
The thing started to walk. [thudding]
1285
01:13:22,523 --> 01:13:25,150
It flapped its wings twice, like this.
[fluttering]
1286
01:13:25,234 --> 01:13:27,778
And squeaked. [screeching]
1287
01:13:27,861 --> 01:13:31,990
It dived in, and I said,
"Calm down, São Caetano!"
1288
01:13:32,449 --> 01:13:36,328
It almost hits a rock
and goes straight at 90 miles an hour.
1289
01:13:36,412 --> 01:13:38,789
I said, "Go ahead,
I'll cover the license plate.
1290
01:13:43,252 --> 01:13:44,711
Go ahead, São Caetano!
1291
01:13:45,921 --> 01:13:47,673
The cops can't catch us."
1292
01:13:48,424 --> 01:13:51,260
The bird moved to the side,
we moved to the side.
1293
01:13:51,343 --> 01:13:53,095
It moved to the other side,
we moved too.
1294
01:13:53,178 --> 01:13:56,723
At one point, it was windy in the ride.
We felt the wind for real.
1295
01:13:56,807 --> 01:13:59,768
When we hit some water,
we got wet for real.
1296
01:14:00,060 --> 01:14:02,688
At one point, we entered a forest,
1297
01:14:02,771 --> 01:14:05,524
and Disney added the smell
1298
01:14:05,983 --> 01:14:08,360
of the forest.
1299
01:14:09,611 --> 01:14:11,029
I've never been to a forest.
1300
01:14:13,031 --> 01:14:14,575
My mom smelled the plants and said,
1301
01:14:14,658 --> 01:14:16,952
"You're not smoking
the Devil's cigarette here, are you?"
1302
01:14:18,579 --> 01:14:20,706
I said, "Are you crazy, Mom? Come on."
1303
01:14:20,789 --> 01:14:23,417
Out of nowhere, it flaps its wing again.
[fluttering]
1304
01:14:23,500 --> 01:14:25,210
And lands. [screeches]
1305
01:14:25,294 --> 01:14:26,128
Breathes.
1306
01:14:26,211 --> 01:14:28,213
[whooshing]
1307
01:14:30,090 --> 01:14:33,135
Only our leg is in the belly
of the animal. You won't believe it.
1308
01:14:33,218 --> 01:14:36,805
When the animal breathed, our leg...
[whooshing]
1309
01:14:38,348 --> 01:14:41,143
We could feel the animal's breathing
on our legs.
1310
01:14:42,644 --> 01:14:44,938
Man, if it was crazy for me,
1311
01:14:45,439 --> 01:14:47,357
imagine for my mom who goes to church?
1312
01:14:48,692 --> 01:14:53,447
From the beginning, I could hear
my mom saying, "Help me, Lord!
1313
01:14:53,530 --> 01:14:55,782
Christ's blood has power!
1314
01:14:55,866 --> 01:14:57,201
[whooshing]
1315
01:14:57,284 --> 01:15:00,287
Though I walk through the valley
of the shadow of death,
1316
01:15:00,370 --> 01:15:02,831
and I'm riding the Devil's horse!
1317
01:15:04,583 --> 01:15:05,626
[laughs]
1318
01:15:05,709 --> 01:15:08,086
But I have Jesus' reins!"
1319
01:15:09,254 --> 01:15:11,840
I asked my mother, in panic,
"What are you feeling?"
1320
01:15:11,924 --> 01:15:13,425
She said, "A tickle."
1321
01:15:14,968 --> 01:15:18,597
I said, "What a crazy family!"
1322
01:15:18,680 --> 01:15:19,515
The ride ends.
1323
01:15:19,598 --> 01:15:21,475
[whirring]
1324
01:15:21,558 --> 01:15:23,727
My mom runs to me,
hugs me and cries.
1325
01:15:24,853 --> 01:15:27,147
I didn't get it, but nobody likes
to see their mom crying.
1326
01:15:27,231 --> 01:15:30,150
I said, "Can you wait outside.
I'm taking care of my mom."
1327
01:15:30,776 --> 01:15:33,320
I moved my mom gently and asked her,
1328
01:15:37,449 --> 01:15:38,283
"Hey, Mom,
1329
01:15:39,076 --> 01:15:40,202
why are you crying?"
1330
01:15:40,661 --> 01:15:41,745
She turns to me,
1331
01:15:42,162 --> 01:15:43,622
"I'd never flown before."
1332
01:15:47,251 --> 01:15:49,002
[sobbing]
1333
01:15:49,753 --> 01:15:51,296
I said, "What?"
1334
01:15:51,922 --> 01:15:54,633
She said, "This was my first time flying.
1335
01:15:55,759 --> 01:15:58,720
[sobbing] I've flown in an airplane,
but not on an animal.
1336
01:16:00,055 --> 01:16:01,390
It was the first time!"
1337
01:16:02,474 --> 01:16:05,602
"Mom, you didn't fly.
It was a flight simulator."
1338
01:16:05,686 --> 01:16:07,312
She said, "But it's the same!"
1339
01:16:08,605 --> 01:16:11,358
I said, "A simulator simulates.
1340
01:16:12,943 --> 01:16:15,028
Mom, actually,
1341
01:16:15,821 --> 01:16:20,158
I'm used to two different reasons you cry,
anger and sadness,
1342
01:16:20,659 --> 01:16:22,786
but this is neither of them, you know?
1343
01:16:23,245 --> 01:16:24,913
Are you happy?"
1344
01:16:25,247 --> 01:16:26,665
Then, she said, "Yes.
1345
01:16:28,500 --> 01:16:30,961
But I'll tell you,
that bird was breathing.
1346
01:16:32,879 --> 01:16:33,964
Wow!
1347
01:16:34,548 --> 01:16:36,675
What a crazy ride!
1348
01:16:37,259 --> 01:16:39,761
I can't wait to call Fátima
and tell her about it."
1349
01:16:41,263 --> 01:16:42,389
I said, "But...
1350
01:16:42,472 --> 01:16:44,766
why are you crying?"
She said, "No reason."
1351
01:16:45,183 --> 01:16:46,727
I said, "Tell me. Why?"
1352
01:16:47,269 --> 01:16:48,353
"No reason."
1353
01:16:49,187 --> 01:16:52,107
By the way, bro, we need to vent, okay?
1354
01:16:52,190 --> 01:16:54,526
We grow up in a place
where they say we shouldn't cry,
1355
01:16:54,610 --> 01:16:56,612
that we don't have to talk
about our problems. We do.
1356
01:16:56,695 --> 01:16:58,030
Keeping it in is worse.
1357
01:16:58,113 --> 01:17:02,242
I said, "Go on, Mom, why are you crying?"
She said, "No, it's just that...
1358
01:17:02,951 --> 01:17:03,952
[laughs]
1359
01:17:05,120 --> 01:17:06,705
Nothing, son. It's just that...
1360
01:17:06,997 --> 01:17:10,042
I wish I could have done this
for my own mom, you know?
1361
01:17:11,126 --> 01:17:11,960
But...
1362
01:17:12,794 --> 01:17:13,754
it's okay."
1363
01:17:14,838 --> 01:17:16,548
I said, "Don't worry,
1364
01:17:17,299 --> 01:17:18,884
you would never have the money.
1365
01:17:24,097 --> 01:17:27,976
Just lunch would have maxed out
your department store credit card."
1366
01:17:31,188 --> 01:17:33,982
I told my mom, "Hey, Mom, for real?
1367
01:17:34,608 --> 01:17:37,694
I've only seen you cry tears of joy
twice in my life.
1368
01:17:38,528 --> 01:17:41,198
The first time was
when I bought you a house.
1369
01:17:42,282 --> 01:17:44,451
And the second time was when you flew.
1370
01:17:47,204 --> 01:17:49,373
Hey, shorty. Honestly.
1371
01:17:49,456 --> 01:17:52,000
Honestly, for real.
1372
01:17:52,501 --> 01:17:55,629
If I knew the price of both things,
you would have only flown.
1373
01:17:57,631 --> 01:18:00,759
My mother said, "I didn't fly.
I went on a flight simulator."
1374
01:18:00,926 --> 01:18:03,470
I said,
"Yeah, shorty, you learn fast, huh?
1375
01:18:04,137 --> 01:18:05,097
What's up?"
1376
01:18:05,180 --> 01:18:07,808
She said, "Son, look at all of this.
Look at Disney.
1377
01:18:08,225 --> 01:18:10,477
It was you." I said, "No, it was Mickey.
1378
01:18:11,478 --> 01:18:13,897
I'm still going to get that damn rat.
1379
01:18:14,523 --> 01:18:17,734
I'm ready to kick his head
and watch it fly through the air.
1380
01:18:18,151 --> 01:18:20,904
Little Lucas from Brazil will say,
'Bring a soda!'"
1381
01:18:21,905 --> 01:18:24,783
She said, "No, you idiot.
The fact that everyone is here.
1382
01:18:24,866 --> 01:18:27,244
You worked.
It was the result of your effort.
1383
01:18:27,327 --> 01:18:29,121
So I wanted you to know that...
1384
01:18:30,539 --> 01:18:34,876
I know you are sad for being away,
for not seeing us often.
1385
01:18:35,752 --> 01:18:37,796
But look at what you're doing
for everyone.
1386
01:18:38,380 --> 01:18:41,091
We love you, okay? And can I tell you?
1387
01:18:41,675 --> 01:18:43,677
I'm very lucky to be your mother.
1388
01:18:44,386 --> 01:18:46,596
And seeing you taking care of us,
you'll be a good father.
1389
01:18:46,805 --> 01:18:49,433
Just think about what your dad did
and do the opposite."
1390
01:18:57,274 --> 01:18:59,025
At that moment, I hugged my mother.
1391
01:18:59,609 --> 01:19:02,654
When I looked to the side, the whole
family was looking at me hugging her.
1392
01:19:03,196 --> 01:19:07,033
It was the first time in my life
that I felt genuine joy, you know?
1393
01:19:07,117 --> 01:19:11,079
It was the first time that I looked
at my family and said, "We won."
1394
01:19:11,455 --> 01:19:15,292
If this is the result of being pokas ideia
for 12 years, it was all worth it.
1395
01:19:15,959 --> 01:19:18,420
This won't be the best comedy
on the planet,
1396
01:19:18,503 --> 01:19:20,630
because I'm not
the best comedian there is,
1397
01:19:20,714 --> 01:19:23,759
but it will be unique for a lot of people,
you know?
1398
01:19:24,176 --> 01:19:25,802
That's what we have to do for people.
1399
01:19:25,886 --> 01:19:28,346
You have to work for everyone,
and you have to be the voice.
1400
01:19:28,430 --> 01:19:29,681
It's like I say,
1401
01:19:30,015 --> 01:19:31,725
"In the absence of a reference,
1402
01:19:32,142 --> 01:19:33,101
be the reference."
1403
01:19:33,185 --> 01:19:34,644
When I hugged my mom,
1404
01:19:35,312 --> 01:19:37,189
I should have just left.
1405
01:19:43,195 --> 01:19:46,990
But I gave her a hug and realized
that her head ended up right here.
1406
01:19:49,868 --> 01:19:53,163
When I looked to the side,
my mouth fit in my mother's ear.
1407
01:19:54,372 --> 01:19:57,959
And after so many beautiful words,
I needed to say something to her.
1408
01:19:58,960 --> 01:20:03,089
In that exact moment, those who are
my big fans already know what's happening.
1409
01:20:03,173 --> 01:20:06,218
[crowd cheering, whistling]
1410
01:20:12,641 --> 01:20:16,269
And who shouldn't be here,
is thinking, "My God!"
1411
01:20:17,437 --> 01:20:18,939
"Rita!
1412
01:20:19,439 --> 01:20:22,484
These slum dwellers
have their own dialect."
1413
01:20:22,567 --> 01:20:25,445
And at this moment,
everyone understood and is like this,
1414
01:20:25,946 --> 01:20:27,364
"Hey, hey, hey.
1415
01:20:27,823 --> 01:20:29,157
Thiago!
1416
01:20:29,491 --> 01:20:31,785
You won't tell me that you said..."
1417
01:20:31,868 --> 01:20:34,162
[crowd] "Amanakashamana."
1418
01:20:36,122 --> 01:20:37,916
"Amanakashamana."
1419
01:21:04,025 --> 01:21:06,236
Hey, everyone, straight talk,
1420
01:21:06,319 --> 01:21:08,822
that's all I got. Thank you.
1421
01:21:08,905 --> 01:21:10,699
And for real: pokas ideia.
1422
01:21:14,828 --> 01:21:17,581
[hip-hop music playing]