Downloaded from YTS.MX
A NETFLIX ORIGINAL COMEDY SPECIAL
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX
Other origins, other cultures,
the hood is everyone together, mixed up.
Laughter is what softens the hard life,
and the crazy ones after some money circumvent police cars.
That's where the dance that makes your hips move comes from,
among danger, friends, diplomas and the grave.
He who makes our joy so pure, with posture.
Let's give a standing round of applause to my friend: Thiago Ventura.
Let's make some noise!
It's the hood representing!
That's right!
Make some noise, Brazil!
From Taboão da Serra to the planet. You can sit now, my friends. Be cool.
Welcome to my third comedy special.
The first one was Isso é Tudo Que Eu Tenho,
where I talked about the importance of comedy in my life.
The second one is called Só Agradece,
where I talked about all the fruits that comedy earned me.
And the third one is called POKAS,
which is the philosophy of life that brought me here, you know?
If you know what "pokas" means, say "me."
Me!
I think it's crazy, you know?
Because most people from the hood know what pokas is.
At the same time, I look at the audience and see people saying, "No."
For those who don't know, it comes from pokas...
Ideia.
And pokas ideia is pokas ideia, no matter where you are.
So, let's do this: I'm going to say a word,
and if you think the treatment has to be pokas ideia,
answer all together, "Pokas." Right? Let's do it.
-Rapists? -Pokas.
People going to a school and shooting everyone?
Pokas.
People who ask for a sip of your Yakult?
Pokas.
Did you realize the Yakult sip was louder than the rapist?
And that shows that the country has principles.
It's okay to rape, but don't mess with people's lactobacillus.
When I started to popularize my videos,
about 70% of my demand, you know, were dudes.
And only 30% were girls, but today
it's 50% dudes
and 50% female troublemakers.
The girls who follow me are my type,
they don't take crap from anybody, you know?
That's right.
The girls are hot-headed.
The other day, I was checking the comments of my video on YouTube, you know?
And there was a guy who said,
"Hey man, honestly, you haven't been funny in two years."
And this girl wrote, "Really? Stop following him then, fuck you."
And I said, "Damn, she has my back."
So I have one just for women. Come on, women.
Is it pokas or not for that friend
that says she's your friend
but when you break up with your man, she makes a move on him?
Pokas!
It's crazy stuff, right ladies?
The girls from Taboão da Serra say, "Man, you're crazy!"
People who make a move on your man or woman?
Pokas!
That person with bad breath who speaks too close to you?
Pokas!
It burns your eyelashes.
Did you know that's how pinkeye started?
The person's eye was good,
something fell in the eye, they said, "Blow on it."
Seven days at home.
There's this friend of mine, Eliane, who has really bad breath, you know?
I went to her friend, Virginia, and said, "Virginia,
go tell Eliane she has bad breath. I'm not going to talk to someone
who farts in my face every two minutes."
She said, "Thiago, it's not so bad."
I said, "Are you crazy, girl?
She walks out and talks and the lamp post's light goes off."
And she said, "Please, Thiago,
don't say anything. She's evangelical, she gets upset."
And I said, "Okay. I'll be cool.
The girl showed up, and I put my finger up my ass.
She came and said, "Oi, Thiago."
I said, "Hi. How are you?"
I was like this. Virginia came and said, "Thiago, what's up?"
I said, "If I have to smell poop, I prefer my own."
Let's do another.
Is it pokas or not that the police are corrupt?
Pokas.
Criminals who think they are in charge
and don't realize all they do is promote gratuitous violence?
Pokas.
People who smell and hug you?
Pokas.
Go fuck yourself!
Have you noticed that people with stinky armpits
can't keep their arms down like this,
and come to you at the waist, hug and come back relaxed?
No. They see your shoulder and open their devil wings like this
and put their armpits
on your shoulder, like it's the perfect spot.
And then that corrosive juice
that comes straight from the devil's urethra
corrodes your hoodie.
You arrive in a hoodie and leave in a tank top.
If you have a friend who stinks, you need to tell him.
I had this problem one day, I said, "Afonso...
Our stinky friend is coming." You are horrible people.
You guys are going to die early, come on!
Our stinky friend is coming, can you tell him?
He's more your friend than mine."
Afonso looks at me and says, "Thiago...
he does stink." "Of course." I said.
"The last time he came to my house,
he walked in and the wallpaper peeled.
He slept on the couch and the couch woke up puking cushions."
I said, "Can I tell him he stinks?"
Afonso asked, "How are you going to say it?"
You just have to walk up to him and say, "So, my man...
honestly, I don't know how to say this, but...
something died inside of you."
He said, "Thiago, are you crazy?
If you say that, people will never talk to you again."
No, they won't.
My friend had a white armpit, you know?
You know that yellow armpit? You know?
He had this armpit, he would wear a white shirt,
and in two minutes the armpit is yellow. I never understood that.
How do you wake up sweating ramen...
and you don't go to the hospital to see
why you have a beehive there.
People, you're supposed to use Dove on your armpit, not Tang.
Nobody ever told him he had a yellow armpit. Life told him.
Because he went to church with the Bible under the yellow armpit.
Can you believe that the kids in my street
said that in that Bible, Jesus died in Genesis?
Let's do another one.
People who borrow money and don't pay it back?
Pokas.
People who borrow your clothes and don't give them back.
Pokas.
Person who is fucking you for the first time
and uses slang only her and her friends get?
I didn't get it. Dick should be hard, pussy should be wet, but they weren't.
Pokas!
On second thought, I think it's more my thing, than yours, you know?
Hey, honestly, I was in the sexy penetration, right?
Then the girl said in the middle of it, "Put it in."
I said, "I am in."
She said, "Go on." Then, I said, "I didn't even stop."
Then she said something that I did not understand. I had to stop.
She said, "Yes, just like that.
It feels great!
Stick that jeba in!"
I said, "What?
Stick what, my angel?"
She said, "Stick that jeba!"
I said, "What jeba?"
And she said, "That big jeba you got!"
I said, "Big jeba..."
For a moment, I thought it was a dog.
I said, "Jeba!"
"What the fuck is a jeba?"
She said, "That thing in your hand." I said, "That's a dick!"
A dick is a dick, a jeba is a jeba!"
My dick looked at me and said, "I don't like being called a jeba.
This woman doesn't lick me and calls me a jeba?"
I said, "What is a jeba?"
And she said, "Take your jeba and stick it in the chandanga."
I said, "What?"
I said, "Chandanga?
Are you calling the pussy by it's legal name? What the fuck?
You've been watching too much Pokémon.
Charmander, Charmeleon, Charizard, Chandanga?
I watched every season of Pokémon,
I never saw Ash summon up the Pussy Pokémon in battle.
Comically,
we established our pokas ideia philosophy, which has five points.
First: the rules.
Establish your own, specially if you're from the hood.
Everybody who hangs with you has to know who you are.
Otherwise, they will walk all over you.
The first time I realized my life had rules,
was when I played taco for the first time.
If you've played taco before say: "Me!"
-Me! -From the hood.
I think it's awesome the hood people said: "Me!"
And the rich kids said, "Did he say 'talcum'?
As in 'talcum powder'? I've used Johnson & Johnson."
The first time I played taco,
my friend Thiago Poop taught me, you know?
It's Thiago Poop because he stepped in shit barefoot.
He said it squeezes through your toes.
It's disgusting, but it's funny, right?
He said, "You even dance. You step in it, and then do this."
Do you know what the worst was? He stepped and felt physical pain from disgust.
He stepped in it and did like this, "Ouch!
Ouch, my foot!
I stepped in it!
Turn on the hose!
It's shit!"
To save Thiago Poop, my other friend Junior Blowjob came.
Can I explain why we call him Junior Blowjob? Please!
It will be quick.
I was in front of my house, and a kid came running
and said, "Someone is sucking Junior's cock."
I said, "Easy, that’s not how you tell these things.
What's happening?"
He said, "Someone is...
sucking...
Junior's cock."
I said, "Where?" He said, "In the playground's bathroom."
I said, "For how long?" He said, "Five minutes."
I said, "Did you see him?" He said, "I did."
I said, "Was the door open?" He said, "No."
I said, "So how did you see it? He said, "What?"
I said, "If the door was closed,
how did you see him?"
He said, "Someone is sucking
Junior's cock."
I said, "If the door was closed,
how did you see him?"
He said, "Someone is sucking
Junior's cock."
I said, "You won't say it, so what's the plan?"
He said, "Here's the plan, man.
Let's run to the door and do this.
'Yes, Junior, someone is sucking your cock!'"
As if Junior didn't know.
As if he would just notice in that moment.
Imagine Junior looking and saying, "What? You don't say?"
I thought this idea was terrible and like any child, I said yes.
We ran there,
got to the door and said, "Damn."
"Yes, Junior..." There was no time.
The person sucking Junior's cock did this, "Leave Junior alone."
Shit.
I can see that my boys are here.
My friend Thiago Poop came to teach me how to play taco.
He explained very quickly. He said, "Thiago,
attention. Very quickly, because I'm next.
Take the ball, throw it in the can.
If you make it into the can you say, 'Hand over the bat, excuse me!'
The person will hand you the bat in the air, don't take it.
If you take the bat in the air, you automatically lose.
So let the person put the bat on the floor.
Second rule: take the ball and throw it.
If the person hits it and it goes backwards,
once, twice,
three times, on the third one,
he gives the bat away. Don't take the bat if it's in the air.
Let the person put the bat on the ground. Third rule:
If you're playing and you hear,
'Car!'
Get out of the street."
Then, I innocently said, "Why?" He said, "Because a car is coming."
I said, "Is it a game rule?"
He said, "No, it's a life rule."
I said, "Next rule."
He said, "Take the ball and throw it.
If the person hits the ball,
and you happen to run after this ball,
pay attention, they are going to yell this,
'Bring a soda!'
Man, it's only for you to lose your turn,
because then you'll lose the game.
So don't be annoyed, it's just the opponent who yells it, okay?
That's it. Find a pair and come play, because you are next."
I said, "Holy shit!"
So, I was looking at everyone, and nobody was alone. So I see
Little Lucas.
Little Lucas is that friend everyone has.
You know that friend of ours that isn't worth anything?
He was the only one left to play with me.
And I played with him.
I know when I say "I did, even though I didn't want to",
the women in the audience are like this, "Hey.
Thiago!
If you didn't want to play with him, my love, why did you play?"
Because he looked pitiful, man.
A friend said she put out for the first time because her boyfriend asked nicely.
I said to her, "Really?"
But, seriously, Little Lucas is very cute.
You'll like him a lot, but he's very manipulative.
He showed up like this:
"Good morning.
I'm Lucas, and there are three things that I like a lot in humanity,
which are peace and harmony between people,
my dad Ricardo, who left me early on,
and everyone who came to the theater and paid full price.
Hi, Thiago Big Big!"
I said, "What's up Little Lucas?"
"Terrific.
Today is a bright day, isn't it?
The birds singing, the mice running and people playing taco.
My mother said that whoever plays taco loves the Devil.
She said that people who play tag on the street
or hide and seek, or freeze tag, also love the Devil.
She also said people who watch Knights of the Zodiac,
Digimon, Pokémon, Yu-Gi-Oh! also love the Devil.
I love God, but I wish I could love the Devil a little, you know? Because...
nothing I like is a thing for Jesus.
But there is one thing I decided
to try, even though it's a Devil's thing,
because my desire to play taco is bigger than me.
But the fact is...
to play taco...
I need something I don't have yet, and that is a friend.
But that's okay, right? After all, I'm used to being alone.
Just me and Jehovah,
but these days I promised God
I would behave if he gave me a friend
to play taco with
and I asked that his name would be 'Thiago'."
So, I cried and said,
"Do you want to play with me?"
And then after all that manipulation he said, "Glory to God."
But Little Lucas is really cute.
He's very sweet.
Did you like him?
He's sweet. You can't get mad at him.
Then I said, "Little Lucas, pay attention. We are next.
Let me explain it to you, when the ball rolls,
you say, "Bring the soda!"
He said in a cute way, "I can't have it, I have diabetes."
I said, "Good God."
Even though I couldn't explain the stuff to Little Lucas,
we started the game.
It was Little Lucas, can, Thiago Poop.
John, can, me.
John was born six feet five inches tall. He came out of his mother
six feet five inches tall. The doctors said, "Pull!
Pull!
The shin came out!"
When the umbilical cord came out, it was a kid from the street who pulled.
He said, "Come on!"
He didn't even hold a bat, it was a fucking ironing board.
One day when he got up to swing the bat,
Thor pulled it thinking that was a hammer. Ridiculous.
But we were not afraid of anyone, because when you're a kid, you don't care.
I hit the ball three times on the floor.
I said, "Go, Poop!"
I throw the ball, it passes by Poop, and Little Lucas' can.
He looks at me and says, "It was so strong, I couldn't catch it."
I said, "Cutie, go after the ball."
When he started running, I realized that we were going to lose.
He ran so slowly, he looked like an old Japanese woman.
Have you seen old Japanese ladies?
I said, "Run, Lucas!" And he said, "That's fucking hard.
Holy shit...
Nobody tells me anything,
and now I'm here running."
"I caught it." I said, "Now squat and throw it."
Instead of going down and doing like this, look...
No.
That son of bitch...
crouches down, gets the ball and throws it up like this, look.
A bouncing ball for the person who is hitting is a gift.
John had the bat on the floor,
the ball was bouncing so much, he couldn't finish a sentence.
He was like this, "Go...
Oh, this ball will end up here.
How do you throw a bouncing ball like this?
Remember how I taught you..."
The ball is gone. Little Lucas was confused, he says,
"Bring the soda!"
I said, "No, Lucas, run!"
Then he said, "This is fucking hard.
What a fast game.
No wonder mom said it was the Devil's game."
Little Lucas comes and goes,
and a game that usually ends at 2-4, 6-0,
was already 16-0.
The game ends in 20.
One minute and nine seconds, and the game was already 16-0.
I was furious.
I said, "Lucas, come here, quickly."
He said, "What is it?"
I said, "Come here so I can talk looking at you in the eye."
"I'm not going there, no, you're going to hit me."
I said, "If you don't come here, I will go there."
He said, "I want to see you catch me at home."
It took him four minutes to arrive at his house. I was already at the gate.
I thought of saying something in his face, but I gave up.
I came to him, I said, "Hey, Lucas, come on!
Lucas, do you want to lose this game?
You already lost your father."
Guys, you have to motivate the person.
Do you think Afonso is such a success just because of the jokes?
And I motivated him. Shocked?
Little Lucas gets the first ball and throws it.
One backwards. Junior Blowjob stands up.
I take the second ball and throw it.
Two backwards. The person sucking Junior's cock stands up.
Little Lucas catches the third ball and throws it.
It's three backwards. He's so happy he says,
"Three backwards, hand over the bat." And a cuss word
that I'd never heard in my life.
He catches the ball and throws it.
"Three backwards, hand over the bat, requenguela."
I was happy, but looked at him like this, "Requengue...
What is 'requenguela'?" And he said, "The same as 'slut.'"
I said, "It must be a more evangelical curse, right, man?"
So, that's it.
Little Lucas got the bat, right?
And when he picked up the bat, he was the first to hit.
And as soon as he hits,
we lose the bat as quickly as we got it.
Watch. He said, "Go ahead and throw it.
Go ahead and throw it,
because if this game is a Devil's thing, this will go to Hell."
The ball came and he said, "Go!"
I didn't even know you could hit your own can.
I said, "No!"
And he said, "My mom is calling me at home."
I said, "No, you will stay with me until the end. Fuck it!"
I took the ball and said, "Fuck it."
I dipped it in the sewer.
If you're from the hood for real, you know?
When you dip a ball in the sewer,
you throw the ball, and sludge flies in people's faces.
One day, it blinded one of the kids.
He hit the ball with only one good eye.
The next day, the kid's nickname was Webcam.
I swear to you.
I didn't even care. I said, "Go on, John!"
I threw a really strong ball, but John is strong.
He took a step to the right and hit the ball.
"No, fuck!"
I caught the ball, I'm fast.
It went from 16-0 to 18-0.
I'm so mad.
I couldn't get any angrier,
until Lucas, from my team, yells,
"Bring the soda!"
"What did you say, my brother?"
"No, don't bring it.
I have diabetes, I don't even know why I said such a thing.
It was a mistake."
"Can you understand why your father left, Lucas?
Hey, Poop, come on?
I hate it when, in movies, the creature turns against the creator, but...
eighteen to nothing?
I'm not going to let you humiliate me in front of my entire hood.
So, get ready.
You will see all the wrath of my power ball."
"Yes...
insolent vermin.
The power of my ball is 30,000,
Cocuruto.
And when I arrive on the second turn,
you won't see the color of this ball. Watch."
"You didn't expect that, right, Cocuruto?"
Yes, your 'chi' is completely inferior.
Get ready.
Go, Poop!"
"The car!"
"Go, Poop!"
I throw the ball even harder.
At that moment, I notice all the details and I raise the bat.
When the ball hits that bat,
all my hope goes to hell.
"No!
Poop!"
Poop yells,
"Come on, shit!"
And Little Lucas,
"Bring the soda!"
Only, accidentally, the ball hits the lamp post.
And comes back.
When it comes back, I can't believe what is happening.
The ball bounces twice in front of me.
Junior Blowjob yells, "Kick it, asshole!"
I kick it in Poop's face.
You win!
Blowjob yells, "Hand over the bat, shit!"
Little Lucas celebrates like Kaká.
Everyone's excited. It's the kids' time.
I take the bat in the air, we lose the bat.
That's right, man. Do you know what the point is?
It's this:
when you establish what your rules are,
you understand what happened in this situation.
I didn't understand the rules, so I ended up screwing up.
This is what happens when you don't expose who you are.
If you don't expose who you are, people will walk all over you,
and you will fall.
When you're done setting up rules, establish your principles.
Don't be afraid to be several versions of yourself.
Nobody ever encourages us in the hood to be who we want to be.
We have to be who we want to be, and that's it.
The first version I wanted to be was a soccer player. It didn't happen.
The second was the one I'm going to talk about now.
When I was 14 years old, I wanted to be a great Axé dancer.
Go fuck yourselves! We each have our own goals!
I'm here opening up, don't judge me, damn it!
I was able to be a great Axé dancer. I want to tell you this story.
Do you know why I started dancing Axé? Because dad liked Michael Jackson a lot.
And I wanted to be a dancer like him, you know?
I didn't know how to dance, so I tried Axé.
My dad loved Michael Jackson very much.
I wanted him to love me just like he loved Michael Jackson.
He lied a lot about Michael Jackson.
One day I asked him, "Where was Michael Jackson born?"
He said, "Diadema."
I said: "Damn, do they watch Jukanalha, that YouTuber from Diadema?"
One day I asked him, "Dad, why do you like Michael Jackson so much?"
"Son, he is the most focused man in the world."
I said, "Give an example of focus." "Son, he was black and turned white.
Nobody knew if it was possible. If he did it, it’s because he had focus."
"Dad, do you like his singing or dancing better?
He said, "He's a great singer, but he's an amazing dancer."
So, at the age of 14, I started dancing like Michael Jackson.
I was fucking awesome.
Only when you dance like him,
people stop talking to you.
You are unbearable. They said, "Thiago." I would say, "Yes."
It was ridiculous.
Everyone walking down the street, I'd say, "Where are we going?
I don't know this place."
I wanted to be like Michael Jackson.
One day my mother said, "A cockroach." "I killed it."
I wanted to be Michael Jackson.
One day the bus didn't stop,
I said, "Hey, come on.
I just wanna go home."
But my Dad wouldn't let me.
He said, "You'll never be like Michael Jackson. You know why?
Because he knows God personally."
"But he knows everyone. That's hard.
Where'd you get that from?"
He said, "Watch his show.
He spins, snaps his finger, and a divine light falls on him."
It was the first time I thought, "Go to Hell."
Now that I have my own show, check this out.
Got it?
I think it rocks to have this light here, you know? This whole structure.
And I'm still a Michael Jackson fan.
If you are also a Michael Jackson fan, say, "Me!"
Me!
If you think there will never be anyone in the world of pop
-as great as Michael Jackson, say, "Me!" -Me!
So everybody here agrees
that Michael Jackson was the pedophile that we loved the most.
Guys, what happened? You had so much to say earlier.
Michael Jackson is a pedophile, man.
Do you think it makes me happy to say that?
I'm a fan of the guy, I love the guy to this day. I'm not happy, no.
The first time someone spoke badly about him in front of me, I was pissed.
Do you know who did it?
William Bonner.
So, I was home in the hood, chilling.
Bonner says, "Michael Jackson is accused of pedophilia."
I said, "No!
No, William, no!
How can you believe those people?"
I was offended by him, man. The day after, he started the show saying,
"Good evening." I said, "Go fuck yourself!"
Good evening my ass.
If he came to my street, he would've been threatened and slapped.
Why do I think Michael Jackson is a pedophile?
Because, just like Dave Chappelle, I watched the HBO special,
the HBO special that talked about
all the people who accused Michael Jackson of pedophilia.
By the way, now that I'm on Netflix,
I want to say something.
Hey, Dave Chappelle...
in Brazil, there are several comedians who have you as a reference.
You feel me?
To me, you're the closest living thing to Richard Pryor.
And I have a dream.
And in that dream, I smoke a joint with you.
So, even though I know this shit is subtitled,
I have to...
make this request in English.
Look.
Hey, Mr. Dave Chappelle.
I have a dream.
And nesse dream,
I have a question for you.
Mr. Dave,
do you want...
fumar a joint with me?
I'm your fan, man, honestly.
Why do I think Michael Jackson really is a pedophile?
Because, like Dave Chappelle, I watched the HBO special.
By the way, I want all of you to watch Dave Chappelle's Sticks & Stones.
He tells some jokes saying that Michael Jackson is not a pedophile,
and I'm here saying that he is a pedophile, why?
Because, in my opinion, he is.
I watched that documentary.
And those people who accused him of pedophilia
said some very crazy things.
You have to have a lot of courage to make that up.
So since there was a camera on, and they had to speak the truth,
I'm sure that Michael Jackson is a pedophile.
I've been punched in the face, and I've never forgotten his face.
Imagine if he had stuck his finger inside my ass?
I would be able to tell the story with all the details.
At the same time I think he is a pedophile,
I don't think he died.
Who thinks Michael Jackson is alive, say, "Me!"
Me!
And that worries me.
Because there's a documentary, and if he's alive...
there's a good chance he watched it.
I don't know about you, but I think of jokes for everything.
I can imagine Michael Jackson in front of the TV, naked.
With a hard dick,
looking at his friend and saying, "Tito...
these kids are all assholes.
They promised to keep the secret.
I barely died and they are on TV spilling the beans. Look, Tito!"
Why am I talking about this?
Because of something that caught my attention
at the time the accusations of pedophilia started.
People went crazy, they were like, "Motherfucker!
How can you, an adult man, accuse an old man,
a millionaire like him, of pedophilia? Do you want to take his money?
Why didn't you say that when you were a child?
Why did you have to grow up to talk about who abused you? Why?"
Because he was a child.
Do you understand now why you have to talk about sex with children?
But then, we turn on the TV in our country,
there's an idiot president saying, "Don't talk about sex with children, okay?"
That's just messed up.
And, honestly,
you won't see me talking about politics, and you know why? I don't know anything.
Do you know something I know about? Idiots.
And if you don't understand why you have to talk about sex with kids,
to me, you are an idiot too.
Talk about sex with children so that they understand
that it's okay to fall in love
or feel attracted to either sex.
Because people are attracted to people, and that's it.
Another thing is:
"If an adult touches you, it is not affection, it is violence.
Please tell another adult."
When I see that people didn't understand that,
I wonder what people thought they were supposed to say?"
Should I go to my niece Ingrid, who is 12,
and talk about sex? And say, "So, love...
one day you will get fucked on all fours.
I didn't want to talk about it, but...
I've never done it, but I've seen a lot of people on all fours.
You should put your chest on the ground..."
Is that what you meant? No, just a minute.
Was I supposed to go to my 18-year-old nephew and say,
"When she is lying on her stomach, open her cheeks, spit on your dick and go.
Like this!
Yes.
Take both roads."
They would never tell others,
they wouldn't believe he was a pedophile.
Because you are so addicted, you don't realize he's making mistakes.
Just as you don't see priests, pastors, uncles, parents, etc...
Guys, do you think
if Michael Jackson had stuck his finger in my ass,
and I went to tell my dad...
do you think he would have a problem with that?
I'll act out the scene.
Picture this: I'm coming back from Michael Jackson's house.
"So, Dad, I went to Diadema.
So, Dad, I went to Diadema. I was talking with Michael Jackson
and you won't believe it. He pulled his Billy Jean out.
I didn't understand. I said, 'Is it Black or White?'
Then he stuck his finger in my ass and I said, 'Dangerous.'
Dad, I think he molested me."
I'm sure my father would say, "I wish it had happened to me!"
But it was because of Michael Jackson's musical influence
that I started to dance.
At that time, I set up an Axé group called Swing Moleque.
It was me, Joabe, Felipinho,
Manu, Carina, Jéssica, Ariana, Michele and Nego Tchan.
Nego Tchan has always been gay.
He was always gay. Gay.
Gay.
Homo, fag, gay!
Do you know a real gay? That handsome gay?
Who walks proudly down the street? And when he arrives somewhere, he changes?
Everyone loves gays, right?
You're chilling, a gay man shows up, you say, "Gay!"
That's the real gay. He's gay.
"Is the baby a boy or a girl?" "It's gay!"
At the same time that he is gay,
you're straight.
Gross, macho, manly!
Right?
He was gay. You know that gay
that recognizes the smell and spice of the dick?
He was a Waze for dicks.
He is walking, then he stops.
You ask, "What happened?" He says, "There's a dick 100 feet away."
When I was 14, I made a big mistake with my gay friend.
I'm not ashamed to say it, I'd be if I kept making the mistake.
When I say that, women who care about me,
"Hey...
Thiago...
what mistake did you make with your gay friend?
Were you prejudiced?"
No...
I made mistake when I was 14, I'm 30.
Sixteen years ago, there in Taboão da Serra,
we didn't know what prejudice was.
We were hungry.
We had other priorities.
"So, what was the mistake, my love?"
I was an idiot. I followed the negative opinion.
A friend of mine came to me and said, "Do you know that Nego Tchan is gay?"
I said, "Son of a bitch!
He's a fag!
I'll tell my grandma."
I left there with a question in my head, which was, "What is gay?"
I don't know. I'll ask my grandma. I said, "Grandma, what is gay?"
And she, a woman of God, said, "Satan!
Thiago, listen carefully.
Two men together make a werewolf."
I said, "My goodness.
I have to warn Nego Tchan before the full moon."
I went to his house, I looked at him and said, "Nego Tchan,
I'm gonna ask you a question, you answer me. Are you gay?"
He looks at me and says, "Never!"
"Son of a bitch is a fag and won't tell me.
I'll tell Felipinho. I said, "Felipinho,
you know that Nego Tchan is sucking people's dicks?
He's homo, fag, gay!
I don't care if he fucks or gets fucked, with men or women,
friends don't keep secrets.
Why does he have a secret butthole?
Why can't he tell people he likes to get fucked?
Is he getting fucked by Ocean's Eleven?
Not knowing what to do, Felipinho looked at me and said, "Wait.
Are you saying that Nego Tchan is gay?"
I said, "Felipe...
he spins for some back door action.
He doesn't have a butthole, he has a Bayblade."
"No, wait a minute. Are you saying our Nego Tchan is gay?"
I said, "Felipe...
throw your dick on the floor, he jumps over it
and picks it up with his ass!
He's a faggot!"
"No, hold on a second.
Too much information.
Are you saying...
that Nego Tchan is gay?
Damn... I didn't know.
I'll pay attention.
If I find out that he's gay, let's establish a code.
I'll look at you and do this, 'Big Big...'
Then you know that I know he's gay.
But while I'm not sure, the question is:
Hey, Big Big.
Have you tried taking care of your own business?"
That hurt.
But he’s right, this is pokas ideia.
So, I saw it in a movie
that you need a lot of courage to face your enemies
and twice as much courage to face your friends.
Who said that? Albus Dumbledore.
Straight from the Hogwarts hood.
Check out my references.
When I say that,
I find it cool, because whoever applauded is like this:
"Hey...
Thiago...
I am Slytherin!"
We reach the fourth point of the show:
errors generate evolution.
Friends, exchange ideas. What we need in the hood
is not more people saying we are wrong,
but more people telling us how to get it right. We need a chance.
If it took you this long to deconstruct yourself,
know that other people will deconstruct in their own time.
So, help, don't get in the way.
If I were a reasonable kid, when Felipinho said that,
I would understand. But, no.
I was 14 and an idiot.
When Felipinho told me that,
this is the answer I gave him, "Big Big,
have you thought about taking care of your own business?"
I said, "Yes.
Of course I have.
Specially now with two fags in the group."
And went back to dancing.
Nego Tchan arrives and does this,
"Attention, boys and girls." I said, "Felipe...
he's a gladiator fag!"
I said, "Nego Tchan, any news?" He said, "I have three."
I said, "You have three?
He's a bilingual fag!
Do you know why bilingual fag? They suck ass and dick."
I said, "What are the news?"
"The first news is that I had a bandana made
with a long ponytail up to the butt.
Now we're all going to be much more feminine on the show."
"Felipe...
Second piece of news." "Second is
that I took the liberty of having Capri pants made with an opening here,
and a slit that shows about 60% of our butt.
I call it the flow slit."
I said, "What?"
He said, "Flow slit."
I said, "Flow." He said, "Slit."
I said, "What's the name of the slit?"
He said, "Stop making fun of it."
"Then speak very slowly 'flow...'"
"Slit."
Just give me a second. I'm going to talk to Felipe."
"Flow...
Gay, man!
He is fucking gay."
"Nego Tchan, what about the third?"
"I'm very disappointed with two people in the group,
and I'm going to fix their hip movements the hard way."
I said, "Oh, fuck, who's first?"
He said, "For sure it's Felipinho."
I was such a dick, I celebrated. I said, "Felipe...
he's going to fix it the hard way!
He's a faggot!"
I said, "Second?" He said, "You."
I said, "Look at this guy, Felipe.
How do you fix the hip movement?"
"Tomorrow, you, Felipinho and I in your room, in your bed."
I said, "Felipe...
Look at me.
Raise your head, my love.
I want you to look at me in the eye.
Did you hear what he said?
Felipe...
don't miss tomorrow.
It will be hard for me.
Game is game, training is training."
The next morning,
I was at one end of the bed, Felipinho at the other end of the bed
and Nego Tchan in the middle of the bed. Nego Tchan says,
"Come on, guys, sit on the bed."
Spread, spread
Keep it flexed And repeat, repeat
Left, right And make a ball
That's right, come back
And move it, move it, move it
And go
We danced for a long time.
I think we danced for about seven minutes.
Two embarrassed people and one:
Make a ball
Left, right
We danced for about seven minutes. It took a while.
Nobody was speaking.
In the bedroom, we wouldn't even look at each other.
A very awkward situation.
Nobody said anything, and I thought, "Felipe...
look where our friendship ended up, huh?"
About three minutes in, Nego Tchan stopped saying "left, right, make a ball",
he stopped singing.
Without any music,
we were just three guys doing this.
Felipinho was so embarrassed,
that he moved with his arms crossed.
From the waist down: party, from the waist up: business.
I swear to you.
At one point I said,
"If my father walks in now, I'm not sure what to say to him."
We rehearsed...
We reached the Axé championship finals.
We brought two full buses to cheer for us.
The kids were drumming on the bus.
The hood is happy with cocaine.
So then...
I was dancing...
Someone pulls me aside. I said, "The fuck.
Hey, Felipinho,
just in a bandana and underwear?
Where are your flow pants?"
He said, "Fuck, Big, that's what I came to tell you.
I forgot the pants at home. My Dad went to get them.
You know that Nego Tchan went to buy some oil
to spread all over our bodies?"
I said, "What?"
When I look, Nego Tchan coming with a tub of oil.
I said, "Are you frying dumplings, friend?"
He said. "This is body oil with glitter."
I said, "With glitter, Felipe.
It's not meant for humans. It's for fairies."
We all had our hands on the wall.
Nego Tchan rubbed oil on everyone's back.
And then he got to Felipe, who only has a bandana and underwear on.
Nego Tchan touches Felipe's waist
and starts to rub slowly.
At that moment, you must think that Felipe is Felipe, but, no.
Felipe is prey.
And Nego Tchan...
Nego Tchan.
In the jungle of seduction, Nego Tchan is a female coyote.
A female wolf.
A female crocodile.
A Chikorita.
Have you ever fucked someone and it felt so good you moaned like this?
Nego Tchan was breathing like this.
Nego Tchan reaches the shoulders and trapezius,
spreads the oil all the way to Felipe's right arm,
goes to his right and starts rubbing slowly...
as if it was a very long dick!
Felipe's arm goes back, and the oil concentration goes to his left shoulder,
and then Felipinho and Nego Tchan interlace fingers.
As if it was a tantric massage ending with an amazing handjob.
At that moment, nobody said anything, but I thought, "Felipe..."
Nego Tchan allowed Felipinho to go back to his normal state.
And what I expected happens.
Nego Tchan, covered with lust, touches Felipe's waist and squeezes it.
Felipe was talking with Joabe and didn't notice...
Nego Tchan's malice.
But Nego Tchan...
Nego Tchan...
continues to rub Felipe's belly,
going up to his abdomen...
until his thumb reaches the nipple.
Circular movements, the nipple wakes up, looks up at the head and says, "Felipe!
Someone's rubbing their hand here!
It's a boy's hand, Felipe."
The head gets the call from the nipple, but when we look down,
Nego Tchan...
Nego Tchan,
is a treacherous fag!
He puts his hands on Felipe's back,
who keeps talking to Joabe.
He doesn't realize that Nego Tchan...
Ah.
Nego Tchan...
gently touches
Felipe's jeba!
And that's when, for the first time...
I saw Felipe look at me and say, "Big Big..."
And then...
ten years passed.
Things started happening to me as a stand-up comedian.
Some people had the audacity to say that the thing has changed because of me.
This is very weird. It's a really heavy burden.
So, the only thing I managed to do was to open my eyes a little more.
I saw who was close out of interest, who was distancing for another reason.
Keeping everyone in mind, Felipinho is still my friend to this day.
Unfortunately, Nego Tchan was no longer around.
But last year, he came back.
He texted me. He wanted to see the show.
I said, "Please, come to the show!"
He came to the show, went backstage, we hugged and kissed.
I look at him very seriously and say, "Hey, Nego Tchan,
my bad, man.
I'm sorry, during our childhood I wish I had been a good friend and...
I was an idiot.
I wanted you to know that I'm sorry and...
I just wanted to help you but I screwed you.
He said, "I wish."
I said, "Come again?"
He said, "I wish, dear.
Thi, everything is fine.
It's not just because I realized people are horrible,
that I will stop laughing at life.
Life is very hard, Thi.
We can't face it with this mindset.
Think about it.
I'm gay, I'm black and I'm from the hood."
"It's the combo package, right?"
He said, "Exactly.
It's the prejudice combo pack, so
I could either laugh at life, or I could live in eternal sadness."
I said, "Friend, are you okay?"
"I'm great.
And, by the way, Thi...
I want to tell you something.
Oh, Thiago, I was waiting for the right time, and I think it's now.
Thi,
I've been in love with someone for a long time now.
And...
I will tell you now.
I'll go get him and I'll bring him right back.
Felipe...
can you go get Carlos for me?
Come, Carlos, I'm going to introduce you to him, he's very nice.
He's big-headed but he's very nice.
Thi?
This is Carlos.
My husband.
And my bride too.
It depends on the fetish.
I wanted you to meet him because...
I never felt so loved and so protected in my whole life, you know?
I really wanted you...
to meet him.
This is Carlos, Thi."
I talked with the two of them for 30 minutes.
I learned a lot about affection, about skin color. I was a good listener.
They are a gay couple and I'm straight,
so I had several embarrassing questions to ask.
We were in the middle of a serious conversation when I said,
"Okay, and how is the relay?"
I think that shit is funny.
Nego Tchan knows me, he knows it's a joke. He said, "Shut up, stupid.
What is it?
I said, "I want to know how you maintain such a healthy relationship.
Do you play FIFA?"
Nego Tchan knows me, he asked, "Still having problems with women?"
"Can I tell you something?
Every time I see a happy couple, I try to understand what the deal is.
Every time I got involved with someone, I was a complete idiot."
Nego Tchan looks at me and says, "Self-awareness, my love.
You need to be happy by yourself,
and then you'll understand that you don't need anybody.
I was already happy alone, Carlos too, now that we've met,
we are a beautiful happy gay couple.
You should try it."
The first time I thought,
"Do I have to fuck Felipinho once?"
Two seconds later, I thought, "I don't think so.
But I understood about self-awareness. By the way...
the two of you are very handsome, you know?
And when I said that, it created a nice vibe in the dressing room,
when I turn around, Felipinho opens the door. I said, "Felipe!
Nego Tchan is here!"
When we look, the two of them are French kissing.
Felipinho says, "Oh, he's really gay, check it out."
It's the final stretch of the show, my friends.
Beautiful people.
Let's recap.
Rules, principles, who you are,
mistakes generate evolution and finally, "Who do you fight for?"
Establish these five points and you are pokas ideia.
I'm going to say some things,
if you agree, say "yes."
If the answer is "no," be quiet.
Is your mom annoying?
-Yes! -Mine too.
And she goes to church, that tramp.
I never understood that shit. The woman leaves the house
to find Jesus and comes back with Satan.
Are your brothers and sisters still weird?
-Yes! -And came out of the same pussy, right?
It's like it breaks sometimes, a good one, a bad one...
Do your uncles and aunts only show up when they need something?
Yes!
Does the rest of the family only run into you when someone dies?
Yes!
If your family is just like everyone else's
why do you complain about your family and I don't?
It's because you don't understand who you are in you family.
For those of you who complain about family, I have something to say:
Your family was already annoying before you were born.
When you were born, you just made it worse.
You are what I call "dead weight."
You don't represent the band Racionais' lyrics
that say that a flower can bloom even in the dump.
You are more garbage at the dump.
Because you have to change your family's life as a whole.
You have to be pokas ideia, so they don't go through the same.
You don't understand that shit. You prefer to complain like them.
Life is water. Are you going to sink or swim?
I should be a life coach.
When I was 14, I went down the street to talk with some kids
and I see my friend Fábio getting punched and shot in the chest seven times.
He died in front of everyone.
He was murdered. I was 14 years old.
Until you understand what this is, you will not understand the scar.
You'll not understand people from the hood.
But I can't come here,
say this and leave this awkward mood here.
No. I have to make you laugh at this disgrace.
So, I will joke about Fábio's death.
Right now the women are like this, "Hey...
Thiago,
do you think people will laugh at Fábio's death?"
Yes.
Because it's not about the subject, it's about the comedian.
When I was 14, I went down the street to talk with some kids
and I see my friend Fábio getting punched and shot seven times.
My question is, "Was the punch necessary?"
It wasn't.
So, what did I do?
At 18, I decided that when I turned 30, I'd give my mom a house.
And I did. At 30, I would have my house. I do.
At 30, I would be financially independent, and I am.
At 30, I would have an amazing car. I have an Onix, but I'm working on it.
And, at 30, I promised my family
we would all go once a year somewhere
that is not Mongaguá.
Not that I don't like Mongaguá, I love it, but I've been there a lot.
I set foot on the sand, the ringworm says, "Thiago!"
And I'm very proud
that the first trip I took with my family
was to Disney, do you feel me?
That's right, my brother.
It's about progress, people.
Work for everyone.
My talent, my punchlines,
my thing, my performance
and your money!
It was you who financed this thing.
And, can I say something to you?
When we film this for Netflix, the whole planet will see it.
Brazilians will see our victory and will say,
"Fuck, the kid went to Disney! That's right!"
On the other hand, the gringos will also watch it.
And they will be like this, "Look, honey.
They celebrate that they went to Disney!"
Since I'm unashamed,
hey, Netflix camera, zoom in on my face.
Just a little, 'cause it's fat.
Hey, gringo motherfucker,
respect my trip to Disney,
because you don't know what it's like at Playcenter in São Paulo!
Respect me as a human being, damn it!
You don't know what's like to spend 14 hours in line at a roller coaster,
the guy looks at you and says, "It is undergoing maintenance."
It makes you want to murder everyone.
From age 18 until 30, I saved a lot.
Not a large amount, but any amount.
For example, I always had to choose the cheapest. Let's see if you get it.
If I was going to eat, would I choose Fofura or Fandangos?
-Fofura! -Fofura.
I would eat onion and parsley flavored plastic to save money.
-Toddynho or Xocopinho? -Xocopinho!
The chocolate milk of the rat, Xocopinho.
You drink three of those, on the fourth, your belly says, "Boy!"
Such a great audience.
When you spend too much time just thinking about money
to change your family's life, you end up becoming a materialistic guy.
Only, when I went to Disney, I didn't have to worry about money.
And the first time we go on a trip we have to enjoy each other, right?
Yes!
I thought about it and I said, "Be cool, man."
I thought about it and I said, "Fuck the money!"
I took a step forward with them,
and two steps backwards, you know?
And that was hard, you know?
I don't know if you've already succeeded in doing something for those you love.
But it's a great feeling.
When I saw them there, I said, "Fuck, bro, that's amazing.
Everyone is happy, bro, everyone accomplished.
It was my sweat, you know? My work, my discipline."
When I look at my 4-year-old niece, Yasmin,
she has that smile, you know?
Of someone who's eating a 9-dollar churro.
Why is that shit so expensive?
I look at my mother and she's buying this 150-dollar sweatshirt.
My mother is cold, she is cold.
She said it. She said, "Wow, it's so cold."
I said, "Hang on until we get home."
She said, "No, I'm going to buy a sweatshirt, I'm cold."
She's cold, my mom.
My mom.
She's been going through menopause for 7 years and hasn't felt cold since.
But at Disney she couldn't take it.
The husk broke.
I look around, my whole family is there, having fun.
Spending my dollars.
It was the first time that I missed Mongaguá.
I said, "Fuck it. I won't worry about money."
My niece walks up to me and says, "Uncle!
My belly is growling."
I said, "Are you hungry?" She said, "I'm hungry."
My niece is very cute, the other day she said something funny.
She said, "Uncle!
My father said he only kind of likes you."
I said, "Tell him that we are even!"
She was hungry, I said, "Iara, come here.
Let's have lunch. Did you book the lunch where we can meet Mickey?
She said, "I did." Mickey arrived in 10 minutes.
I said, "That's right! We made it, fool!"
We're eating and Mickey arrives,
my niece says, "Mickey is here!"
I said, "Wow!
Be cool, girl!
On the outside it's Mickey. But who knows who's inside?
What if it's Michael Jackson?
Be cool, come on!"
Since I'm from Brazil and from the hood, I took her hand
and I said, "Excuse me.
Can you take a picture with my niece, you rat?
If she fucking cries, things are going to get heated here!
Do it!"
I sat in my chair with my criminal posture.
We're eating, this woman shows up.
I said, "Hi, dear." She gave me the bill. It was 440 dollars.
That's 1,700 reais.
Lunch.
Without the plane tickets.
Mickey was there, but I thought it was Elsa because I was frozen.
The woman said, "How are you paying?" I said, "I don't know.
Can we pay in ass? My sisters are here."
I said, "Why is it 1,700 reais?"
She said, "Because you had lunch with Mickey."
I said, "That motherfucking rat!
Why don't you go back to the manhole with the Ninja Turtles?
For 1,700 reais, Goofy should go down on my mom.
I hope this chicken is Uncle Scrooge,
for 1,700 reais!"
So, I made a huge scene. When I look, my family is like this:
So, again, I'm ashamed. I think, "Again?
Thinking about money first, and my family second."
But 1,700 reais?
A lunch?
I wasn't the only one mad.
There was another Brazilian family there screaming like crazy.
He was angrier than me.
At one point he said, "Take it easy my ass!"
I looked at the 1,700, and when I look to the side,
my niece Yasmin was hugging Mickey.
She looks at Mickey and says,
"Mickey...
you are so handsome."
And Mickey says...
I looked at that and said, "Fuck, I was worried about money."
So, I finally got it.
I looked at the 1,700 and said, "I can split it in ten 170-installments."
I forgot about the money and said, "Yasmin, my love,
I love you very much, you know?"
She looks at me, smiles, and I hear...
"I'm not talking to you, motherfucking rat!
Do you think I'm afraid of you? Call Pluto!"
"I love you too, uncle.
Your head is just like Mickey's."
I looked at that smile, I looked at the 1,700 and said, "Not worth it."
With 1,700, I put Roberto Firmino's teeth on my niece.
That crazy dude has some bright white teeth.
He gargles with bleach.
We finish lunch and go to Pandora, the Blue City of Avatar.
That place is so weird.
All blue, just like now. You can't recognize anyone.
Are you crazy? And there are some noises there, to feel like Pandora.
There are some speakers making sounds like this:
I'm walking with my family and my mom says, "This place is cursed.
This place needs a prayer. You need about 40 priests
to bless this place.
This place hasn't seen a Bible in two months."
I said, "This is another planet."
She said, "Another planet my ass, Thiago. This place here...
is cursed by Satan."
I said, "We're on Pandora, the Avatar planet.
You know? The blue people who work at the phone company?"
We stop in a room and hear
"Welcome, earthlings.
Welcome to Pandora.
Today you will participate in the first simulator flight of your life.
If you pass, you will be able to live among the avatars.
Go to the next room and climb on the devices."
Damn it!
I said, "Fuck!"
I got on the thing as if it were a wide motorcycle.
I looked at my nephew.
And I said, "It's a Hornet, fool!
Hey mom, where's my Juliette? I want to look good."
I see my mother putting on the 3D glasses. She's short-sighted.
She puts on the 3D glasses. She's short-sighted,
she says, "I can see again, son." I said, "My God."
I didn't understand what was happening.
To me, it was all machines.
When I put on the glasses, I immediately entered Pandora.
I said, "Fuck!"
The woman appears and says,
"Everything that happens in the simulator, will happen to you in real life,
so, hold on tight."
She disappears. When I look down, where's the bike?
It's a 26-foot bird, man.
All blue!
I named it after São Caetano soccer team.
The thing started to walk.
It flapped its wings twice, like this.
And squeaked:
it dived in and I said, "Calm down, São Caetano!"
It almost hits a rock and goes straight, like 90 miles an hour.
I said, "Go ahead, I'll cover the license plate so you don't get fined."
Go ahead, São Caetano!
The cops can't catch us."
The bird moved to the side, we moved to the side.
It moved to the other side, we moved too.
At one point it was windy in the ride, we felt the wind for real.
At one point, we hit some water, we got wet for real.
At one point we entered a forest,
and Disney added the smell
of the forest.
I've never been to a forest.
My mom smelled the plants and said,
"You're not smoking the Devil's cigarette here, are you?
I said, "Are you crazy, mom? Come on?"
Out of nowhere, it flaps its wing again.
And lands.
Breathes.
Only our leg is in the belly of the animal. You won't believe it.
When the animal breathed, our leg...
We could feel the animal's breathing on our legs.
Man, if it was crazy for me,
imagine for my mom who goes to church?
From the beginning, I could hear my mom saying,
"Help me, Lord!
Christ's blood has power!
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
and I'm riding the Devil's horse!
But I have Jesus' reins!"
I asked my mother, in panic, "What are you feeling?"
She said, "A tickle."
I said, "What a crazy family!"
The ride ends.
My mom runs to me, hugs me and cries.
I didn't get it, but nobody likes to see their mom crying.
I said, "Can you wait outside, I'm taking care of my mom."
I moved my mom gently and asked her,
"Hey, mom,
why are you crying?"
She turns to me,
"I'd never flown before."
I said, "What?"
She said, "This was my first time flying.
I've flown in an airplane, but not on an animal...
it was the first time!"
"Mom, you didn't fly, it was a flight simulator."
She said, "But it's the same!"
I said, "A simulator simulates.
Mom, actually,
I'm used to two different reasons you cry, anger and sadness,
but this is neither of them, you know?
Are you happy?"
Then, she said, "Yes.
But the animal breathed, it breathed.
Wow!
What a crazy ride!
I can't wait to call Fátima and tell her about it."
I said, "But...
why are you crying?" She said, "No reason."
I said, "Tell me. Why?"
"No reason."
By the way, bro, we need to vent, okay?
We grow up in a place where they say we don't need to cry,
that we don't have to talk about our problems. We do.
Keeping it in is worse.
I said, "Go on, mom, why are you crying?"
She said, "No, it's just that...
Nothing, son. It's just that...
I wish I could have done this for my own mom, you know?
But...
it's okay."
I said, "Don't worry,
you would never have the money.
Just lunch would have maxed out your department store credit card."
I told my mom, "Hey mom, for real?
I've only seen you cry tears of joy twice in my life.
The first time was when I bought you a house.
And the second time was when you flew.
Hey, shorty. Honestly.
Honestly, for real.
If I knew the price of both things, you would have only flown.
My mother said, "I didn't fly, I went on a flight simulator."
I said, "Yeah, shorty, you learn fast, huh?
What's up?"
She said, "Son, look at all of this. Look at Disney.
It was you." I said, "No, it was Mickey.
That rat I'm dying to bump.
I'm ready to kick his head and watch it fly through the air.
Little Lucas from Brazil will say, 'Bring a soda!'"
She said, "No, you idiot. The fact that everyone is here.
You worked, it was the result of your effort.
So I wanted you to know that...
I know you are sad for being away, for not seeing us often.
But look at what you're doing for everyone.
We love you, okay? And can I tell you?
I'm very lucky to be your mother.
And seeing you taking care of us, you'll be a good father.
Just think about what your dad did and do the opposite."
At that moment, I hugged my mother.
When I looked to the side, the whole family was looking at me hugging her.
It was the first time in my life that I felt genuine joy, you know?
It was the first time that I looked at my family and said, "We won."
If this is the result of being pokas ideia for 12 years,
it was all worth it.
This won't be the best comedy in the planet. Do you know why?
Because I'm not the best comedian there is,
but it will be unique for a lot of people, you know?
That's what we have to do for people.
You have to work for everyone, and you have to be the voice.
It's like I say,
"In the absence of a reference,
be the reference."
When I hugged my mom,
I should have just left.
But I gave her a hug and realized that her head ended up right here.
When I looked to the side, my mouth fit in my mother's ear.
And after so many beautiful words, I needed to say something to her.
In that exact moment,
those who are my big fans already know what's happening...
And who shouldn't be here, is thinking, "My God!"
"Rita!
these slum dwellers have their own dialect."
And at this moment, everyone understood and is like this,
"Hey.
Thiago!
You won't tell me that you said..."
"Amanakashamana."
Hey, everyone,
that's all I got. Thank you.
And in humility: pokas ideia.
Subtitle translation by Harry Darkins