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- Lies, it's all lies.
You know it's all fake,
but you keep coming back for more.
- Wasn't it Einstein,
who said- - (mumbles) Spit it out.
Wasn't it Einstein that said what?
"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again,
but expecting a different result?"
- [Female Caller] Yes, that's it.
- No, that's not it.
Let me tell you something, sweetheart,
that too is a lie.
More lies that you people all seem to believe nowadays.
No, that quote did not come from Einstein,
even though he's often attributed.
Truth is, no one really knows who said it first.
Could be a Chinese proverb.
Could have been Mark Twain.
It doesn't matter.
Truth is, it is a lie.
It is a lie that Einstein said it,
and it is a lie that you are now spreading
like venereal disease. - Please, just stop.
God, I just didn't know. - It is that bad.
You should wanna know the truth.
Instead, you wanna just keep on believing the lies.
So here's some truth for you.
You ready?
You sittin' down?
Listen.
Nothing will ever change between you
and your lying, cheating, no good boyfriend.
How 'bout that?
(female caller sobs)
Wait.
Are you crying on my show? - It's just, if you-
- Never cry on my show! - I know-
- Ever!
Crying on my show is not permitted.
Not on my time.
Never.
- But Taz- - But nothing!
Now, if you want me to play you a song,
you want me listen to your little problems, fine.
But you cry, I disconnect you.
Bye-bye. - Wait!
- Wait for death. (button clicks)
Why do you do it, people?
Why do you insist on believing the lies?
In this day and age of Insta Face Twita Snap,
everything is fake.
You need to feel something that is real.
So this next song,
dedicated to all you freaks, geeks, and losers out there.
Enjoy.
(mellow jazz music)
(lighter flicks and thuds)
- Stop insulting and hanging up on the callers.
Our ratings are already in the tank.
Put that thing out!
- What do you expect?
People can stream any song anytime they want.
Why would anybody listen to AM radio?
- Look, just don't insult the caller.
- Look, that's what they get
for calling at this hour,
requesting a bunch of dumb ass song.
- Play the damn music.
- You forget who you're talking to.
I'm DJ Taz the Maz, the master.
- Okay, just play the damn music, okay, Taz?
Taz!
(mellow jazz music continues playing)
- Now that was a good song.
It had everything.
It had loneliness, sorrow, despair, real emotions,
not that manufactured, autotuned, fake music industry crap.
Hope you enjoy.
Tony, we got another caller?
No callers?
Seriously?
(laughs) Come on, people!
I'm in the mood for one of your calls right about now.
Come on, let's do it.
See, this job,
it's kinda like Russian roulette.
You know why, Tony?
Because you push that button,
you never know what's gonna happen.
Come on, give me your best shot.
Oh, looks like we got one.
(button clicks)
(button softly slides)
You're on the air.
- [Peter] I'm Peter.
Hey.
- Hey.
How are you doin', Peter?
- [Peter] Hello?
- You're on the air.
- [Peter] Oh-oh, hey, Taz.
The Taz Man!
Taz the man. - Live and in the flesh.
(Peter laughs)
- [Peter] You are crazy, man.
- We're all a little crazy.
The world's crazy, isn't it?
- [Peter] Yeah, man.
- So what's your poison?
- [Peter] What?
- You know, we all have a poison,
dope, smoke, meth, pills.
What you got?
- [Peter] I'm clean.
Man, I...
(Peter coughs)
I swear. (Taz scoffs)
- Sure.
Scouts honor?
- [Peter] What?
- Oh, that's right,
you don't have a Boy Scouts out here in Nashville, do you?
- [Peter] Boy Scouts?
- Hey, you know, "Always be prepared"?
Boy Scouts?
- Oh, that's gay, man. - Well, you might have
a point there.
According to news reports,
over 12,000 individuals may have been abused as a Boy Scout.
- [Peter] Oh, those faggots.
- Well, see, but that's just the point.
Boy Scouts have had a long tradition
of denying openly gay individuals.
- [Peter] Good.
- Yeah, but they're all a bunch of hypocrites,
'cause even though they deny those gay individuals,
sexual abuse still runs rampant.
Now, how can you explain that?
- [Peter] Look, man,
I don't even know what you're talking about.
- Yeah, I'm sure you don't.
- [Peter] Hey, could you play a song, man?
- Yeah, sure.
What do you wanna hear?
- [Peter] "Discrete Love" from that babe, Antoinette.
- Yeah, we don't have that one.
- [Peter] You're crazy.
It's everywhere, man.
My jam now.
Me and my girl love it.
- It's your jam, yeah?
Your girl?
(Taz scoffs) - Yeah, man.
We love that song.
- Yeah, well, we don't have that here.
- [Peter] It plays on your station all the time.
- Not on my time.
Now listen up, all you morons out there.
I do not play that crap on my show.
I play real music by real musicians,
not fake, talentless pop stars
who flaunt their ass and tits just to get popular.
(taps on glass) - Man!
What got up your ass?
- The truth, Peter.
The truth shall set you free.
Now those fake ass, talentless pop stars, like Antoinette,
(laughs) they're not even real.
She's not a real artist.
She doesn't write her own lyrics,
she doesn't play an instrument, and she can barely sing.
All she does is flaunt her body.
- [Peter] Well, she does have a nice body.
- Well, then let that airhead go model for Victoria Secret,
'cause she gets no play on my show.
I play real music, real songs.
- [Peter] That shit you play now is no good.
My girl and I wanna hear "Discreet Love".
- Or what?
Your girl won't put out
if she doesn't hear that song, is that it?
- [Peter] Shut up and play the fuckin' song!
- Well, let me tell you something.
If you need that song to make your relationship work,
then your relationship is fucked.
But your relationship is fucked already, isn't it?
You know why?
Because love does not exist.
It's all a lie.
Flowers, and candy, and hearts,
and naked boys shootin' arrows,
it's all a lie made up to sell you shit.
Love is just capitalism at its finest.
- [Peter] Man, fuck you!
- No, fuck you,
because I am not the one who's fucked.
I'm woke.
You know what, people?
You kill me.
(Taz chuckles)
You are still swallowing this love crap!
Are you serious?
You're get into these fake relationships.
You make up these fake stories about a happy ending
that is not going to happen.
(gentle instrumental music) It's all fake.
You hear nothing but talk of fake news today.
You know what fake news is?
Wedding notices, engagement announcements,
relationship statuses, that's all fake, people.
The Beatles were wrong.
Dead wrong.
Life is just a parade of meaningless sex
and violence on the way to the cemetery.
But don't get too depressed,
because there is music to accompany you along the way,
so relax and sing along.
(mellow jazz music)
- I told you, you can't talk to everyone like that!
And cussing over the air?
You are going to get our license revoked by the FCC.
- Hey, when are we gonna get some decent food in here, huh?
This pizza tastes like vomit.
- They sponsor us.
And that's not the point, Ese.
- Oh, they sponsor us?
Okay.
It still tastes like ass.
- Listen, you fucking better calm.
The only reason
why I haven't kicked your ass out of this station
is because people out there
still adore you.
So either you please them,
or we go to the shitter!
- Hey, guess what?
We live in the shitter.
- I'm gonna give you one last chance
to just play the damn records.
I don't care if it's Antoinette.
I don't care if it's Boy George!
Just play the damn music!
- My contract stipulates
that I have the right to choose my own repertoire.
I am not gonna sacrifice my artistic integrity, okay?
(Tony speaks in Spanish)
- This isn't about integrity or art.
Radio is dying.
They have YouTube, Spotify, iTunes, and all that.
So if you don't want to play the hits, fine,
then talk to them.
Do some sort of talk show or something.
I don't give a shit.
- I'm a DJ,
not a motivational speaker, all right?
And cut the Spanish, Ese.
You're white.
- I'm your boss and I'm Cuban, okay?
So just play the damn music.
(pizza box rustles) Give me this pizza.
- Take the fucking pizza.
Bald son of a bitch.
(mellow jazz music continues)
(keys rattling)
(car door clatters open)
(car creaks) (door slams shut)
(engine turns over and strains)
(engine sputters)
(thuds dashboard)
(car door clatters open)
(door slams shut)
(footsteps pattering)
(melancholic instrumental music)
(door slams shut)
(plaque shuffles and thuds)
(melancholic instrumental music continues)
(Taz sighs)
(exhales loudly)
Okay, I'm putting you on the air in five seconds.
Okay, welcome back.
This is your DJ, Taz the Maz,
and we have Adam on the line.
Adam, where you callin' from?
- [Adam] Glenn Cliff.
- Glenn Cliff.
I know you got all the pretty women out there, huh?
- [Adam] Nah, they all suck.
(Taz laughs)
- So Adam, who's your favorite artist?
- [Adam] I love TOP.
Can you play "Shake It Out" for me?
- Sure.
But first, answer me this.
Do you think that if you flew over Antarctica
you would reach the end of the earth?
- [Adam] What?
- Yeah, if you took a plane to the end of the world,
you think there'd be an edge or a limit?
- [Adam] I don't know, Taz.
I ain't never thought about that.
- Well, you should think about this.
Did you go to school?
- [Adam] Yeah, but what does that
have to do with music, anyway?
- Everything.
Did you know that your favorite artist, TOP,
is raising funds for a trip to Antarctica
so that he can prove that the Earth is flat?
- [Adam] I didn't know.
- Well, now you know.
So do me a favor.
Call me back after your trip to the end of the world.
Let me know how it went.
(scoffs) Flat Earth.
Can you believe that, people?
Copernicus discovered that the Earth was round in the 1500s.
TOP, you're 500 years too late.
Feel like we're going backwards as a species.
Okay, got another caller.
Who's on the line?
- [Cynthia] Cynthia.
Been a fan of yours since the FM days.
- Thank you, Cynthia.
So Cynthia, do you believe that the Earth is flat?
- (giggles) No, Taz. - Good.
So who's your favorite artist?
Actually, I'll make it simple for you.
What is your favorite music genre?
- [Cynthia] Hmm, maybe the blues?
- Mmm, nice.
Do you know what the blues were called in the beginning?
- [Cynthia] No.
- They called them race records.
In the 1920s to the 1940s,
race records were only sold for black people.
What do you think of that?
- [Cynthia] Wow, that's terrible, Taz.
- That is racist country that we live in.
Racism still exists to this day.
Do you know that the cops killed another black man
while he was trying to get into his own car?
- [Cynthia] Right, that's messed up.
- It's messed up indeed.
Thank you for callin'.
Here's a little old school blues for you.
("Baby, Won't You Please Come Home" plays)
♪ Baby won't you please come home ♪
♪ 'Cause your daddy's all alone ♪
♪ I have tried in vain ♪
♪ Never no more to call your name ♪
♪ When you left you broke my heart ♪
♪ Because I never thought we'd part ♪
♪ Every hour and day you hear me say ♪
♪ Baby won't you please come home to your daddy ♪
♪ Baby won't you please come home ♪
- All right, chumps.
That's it for the Taz Man.
I'll see you tonight.
- [Radio Announcer] WGNS.
(door creaks open)
(door slams shut)
(plaque shuffles and thuds)
(plaque clatters)
(blankets rustling)
(Taz sighs)
(gentle instrumental music) (intense whooshing)
- [Narrator On TV] Go with one thought in mind,
to capture the poor, little sheep.
(sensual jazz music)
(wolves whistling)
(sensual jazz music continues)
(bottle softly thuds)
♪ Discreet love ♪
♪ Being passionate through your magic ♪
♪ Your love makes me nauseous ♪
♪ Sometimes with me ♪
♪ Your love is selfish ♪ (liquid gurgling)
♪ Thought I can have you ♪
♪ But you're makin' me so jealous ♪
(Taz exhales loudly)
♪ Discreet love ♪
♪ I'm watching you ♪
♪ As you're watchin' me baby ♪
♪ So if I were you ♪ ♪ You ♪
♪ I would... ♪ (electronic static)
(drawer shuffles open)
(dramatic instrumental music)
(gun rattles)
(dramatic instrumental music continues)
(gun clicks)
(Taz sighs)
(Taz groans)
(dramatic instrumental music intensifies)
(Taz groans)
(sighs loudly)
(breathes heavily)
(gun rattles)
(breathes heavily)
(gun thuds)
(Taz exhales loudly)
- Man. (bullets rattling)
(cap clatters)
(pills rattling)
(Taz grunts)
(liquid sloshing)
(Taz groans)
(dramatic instrumental music)
(alarm clock buzzing)
(objects clattering)
(alarm button thuds)
(Taz groans)
(intense whooshing) (door creaks open)
(door slams shut)
What's up, man?
- You got a problem, Taz.
- I got a million problems.
Be more specific.
- This ain't working.
That little rant you did the other day
got us fined by the FCC,
and now all our sponsors are pulling out.
- Great, no more pizza.
Maybe you can get some decent food in here for a change,
and probably get fat.
- Are you not listening?
Do you not get it?
We can no longer afford the rights to the music.
- Come on.
Everybody knows I was just playin'.
- Listen, man,
no one knows, 'cause no one's listening.
Okay?
So listen, from today forward,
the format changes.
It's no more music.
Now, it's just a talk show about music.
- Okay, let me get this straight.
A talk show about music without music?
Who the hell is gonna listen to that?
- Thanks to you, that's all we got.
You're on in 10 minutes.
Can't wait to hear this.
- Come on, man. (door creaks shut)
Man, that's a damn podcast!
Hello, boys and girls.
It me, DJ Taz the Maz.
And dig this.
We are under new management,
so that means all hell is about to break loose.
You ready?
(Taz laughs)
No rules.
And dig this.
No more music
Just you and I connectin' over the airwaves.
You ready for this?
Give it your best shot.
You're on the air.
- [Earl] Hey!
Hello?
- Hey, you're on with DJ Taz the Maz.
What is your name, sir?
- [Earl] Yeah, I'm Earl.
- How you doin', Earl?
Thanks for callin'.
- [Earl] Yeah, I wanna hear that song,
what's it called? - Wait a minute.
(chuckles) Earl, let me stop you right there.
Maybe I was being a little too vague.
There are no more songs.
This program will no longer play any music,
whether you request it or whether I recommend it.
No hay orquesta.
No hay banda.
No orchestra, no band.
We knew we were outta luck the day the music died.
Bye-bye, Miss American Pie.
- [Earl] What the hell are you saying?
I wanna hear "No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problem".
- Would that be an accurate description of you, Earl?
- [Earl] What?
- No shoes, no shirt, no service?
- [Earl] What the hell are you saying, boy?
- Who are you calling boy?
- [Earl] Oh, you're one of those?
- One of what?
- [Earl] You know.
- No I don't know, Earl.
Please enlighten me.
- [Earl] You're usin' big words, boy.
- Oh, I'm sorry that my words are to big for you, Earl.
See, some of us boys, we went to school,
that's actual school, not cow tippin' school.
- [Earl] You son of a bitch!
- Tell me if this sounds like a phone hangin' up, homeboy?
(Taz scoffs)
Nicely played, 'Merica.
Nice.
So this is it, huh, folks?
This is what it's come down to?
The fall of the empire is upon us,
and it's all your fault.
You screwed it up.
Too much fast food, too much TV, too much booze,
too much drugs, too many bullets, too many guns!
(knocking on glass)
Just (scoffs) what happened, people?
Greatness was within our grasp,
and you let it slip away.
How many of you are still listening?
I mean, really listenin' out there?
I don't even blame the ones that bail.
(scoffs) You know why?
'Cause we're all shit.
Everything.
I'm shit, you're shit,
and there's nothin' that can be
done about it. (thumping on glass)
(ominous dramatic music) (feet shuffling)
- We'll be right back after this.
What the hell was that?
We just had this conversation.
- That guy was a racist asshole.
- [Tony] The whole world is full of 'em.
You still have to do your job.
- All right, fine.
- Where are you going?
If you leave now, don't come back.
And then where will you eat?
Oh, I know, I know, nowhere.
You are nowhere.
- I'll figure somethin' out.
Always have.
- If you could've,
you would've a long time ago.
You've always been an asshole,
even before her.
The only difference now is, that without her,
people don't wanna put up with it.
I'm the only one left.
If you leave this station tonight,
it's over, friend.
Hmm, yeah.
These commercials are two minutes.
Make a decision.
I don't care.
(ominous dramatic music) (door slams shut)
- [Voice Of Taz Over Radio] AM Up All Night.
And we are gonna be up all night and all morning,
so stay tuned. (door slams shut)
(gentle instrumental music)
(sirens wail in the distance)
(knocking at door)
(buzzer sounds) (alarm clicks)
(door creaks open)
(door slams shut)
- You're in my seat.
- You good? - I'm good.
- You sure? - I'm sure.
Don't you even try it.
Welcome back, everybody.
This is DJ Taz the Maz.
Now, let me start off by saying,
I'm sorry for going
a little to Alex Jones on y'all (laughs).
I'm not as bad as that fool,
but come on, people,
you gotta meet me halfway.
Now, like I said earlier,
we're not playing music anymore,
so it's just me.
I've gotta prove to my bosses that I'm worth my paycheck.
How many of you out there have to do that, huh?
Probably all of you,
all of you that are listening right now,
if there's anybody out there still listening.
But I know you are.
I can feel you.
I can feel you out there breathing,
drivin', drinking coffee, up all night.
The miracle runs 24 hours,
but it don't run on Dunkin.
It runs on us,
real people like you and me.
Come on, I know there's somebody out
who understands what I'm talkin' about.
Hmm?
(chuckles) Hell, who am I kiddin'?
This is it, you know?
This is it.
There are no guarantees in life.
One minute you're happy.
You got it all.
Everything you ever asked for,
and then bam, it's gone.
Just have to accept it.
(gentle instrumental music continues)
You're on the air.
- [Lucy] Hello, Taz.
- Hello.
Who am I speaking to?
- [Lucy] Just call me Lucy.
- How you doin', Lucy?
Thank you for callin'.
So what's on your mind?
- [Lucy] I understand.
- What's that?
- [Lucy] What you were saying, I understand.
- I was saying a lot.
- [Lucy] And nothing at all.
(both laughing)
- Yeah, I tend to do that sometimes.
- [Lucy] No, but you were actually saying something,
about how this country runs on people like us.
- What, night owls?
- [Lucy] No, people fighting for their lives,
just scroungin' those dollars just to stay afloat.
- That's who I am?
- [Lucy] It's been sounding like that
the past couple months.
- That bad, huh?
- [Lucy] There's no shame in it.
No shame in being poor.
- No, no shame.
No great honor either.
- [Lucy] Ah, Hitler.
(Taz laughs)
- Well done, Lucy.
- [Lucy] I have my moments.
- I bet you do.
I used to have moments.
- [Lucy] You still have them from time to time.
- Well, thank you.
- [Lucy] That's why I followed you here
all the way from your glory days at FM.
- Ah, yes, my glory days at FM.
Fame and fortune.
- [Lucy] Yeah, but were you happy then?
- I don't know,
but I was winning.
- [Lucy] Do you feel like
life's a game with winners and losers,
and do you think you're losing now?
- Feels like that at times.
- [Lucy] Yeah, well, we all feel like that at times.
- Are you winning in the game of life, Lucy?
- [Lucy] Let's see.
I'm broke, tired, and bored out of my mind,
but my bills are paid,
I've got a bed to sleep in,
and I'm sitting here talkin' to you.
Since I'm a glass half full kind of gal,
I'll say, yes, I feel like I'm winning.
- So Lucy, what do you do?
- [Lucy] Let's just say, I help people,
just like you do.
- Like me?
(chuckles) Me, help people?
- [Lucy] Yeah, listening to you
helps me not kill myself out of boredom
at two o'clock in the morning.
- Well, do you like helping people?
- [Lucy] Helping people is all I have left.
- I can see helping people losing its charm real fast.
- [Lucy] Well, there's no better exercise for the soul
than reaching down and pulling people up.
- Wow, that's deep.
Care to elaborate?
- [Lucy] All I know is,
when people are broke down, left stranded,
just in a bad place,
there's no better feeling than being the one
who gets them back on track,
you know, to continue their journey.
- Lucy, thank you.
Thank you for helping me get back on the road.
- [Lucy] What are you talkin' about?
- You know, restoring my faith in humanity.
- [Lucy] Thanks, I guess?
I'm always happy to help.
- So Lucy, is there anything I can do for you?
- [Lucy] Well, you can't play music anymore.
- No, I cannot.
But perhaps, there is something I can do.
(chair clatters)
What is your take
on the recent crave for old LP records?
- [Lucy] (groans) Such a history, man.
(Taz laughs)
- Perhaps.
But I think I have something that you might like.
Can you see the moon from where you're at?
- [Lucy] Yes, I can.
- It's full, right?
- [Lucy] Not quite.
What do they call it?
Waxing Gibbous?
- Yeah (chuckles).
Yes, it's called Waxing Gibbous.
That'll do.
(record softly clatters)
(buttons clicking)
(gentle orchestral music) (footsteps clomping)
(door slams)
("Clair de Lune" by Claude Debussy plays)
(insects chirping)
("Clair de Lune" continues playing)
(insects chirping)
Hope you like that.
- Thank you.
- No, thank you, Lucy.
- Perhaps, I'll get back to helping people now.
- All right, don't help 'em too hard.
- Same.
Good bye, Taz.
- Good bye, Lucy.
(button clicks)
(Lucy sighs)
(footsteps pattering)
(door clatters open)
(dramatic instrumental music)
(button clicks softly)
You're on the air.
- [Frances] That was beautiful, Taz.
- (Laughs) Thank you.
What's your name?
- [Frances] Oh, my name's Frances, darlin'.
- Well, thank you for callin', Frances.
So you like that, huh?
- Of course. (Taz chuckles)
I have not heard that song in ages.
- Yeah, me neither.
- [Frances] And that Lucy, she was so nice.
Is she your girlfriend or somethin'?
- No, not at all.
That was my first time talking to her.
- [Frances] Such a sweetheart.
- Yeah, she was.
- [Frances] I deal with truckers all the time.
Nothin' but truckers.
Listenin' to you guys talk,
it was a breath of fresh air.
- What do you do?
- [Frances] Oh, I'm a waitress, darlin'.
- Well, if I was there,
I'd leave you a big fat tip.
- Why thank you, doll. (Taz laughs)
- Anytime.
- [Frances] Do you think you could have
Lucy call you again tomorrow?
I'm pulling a double shift.
- We'll see what we can do.
- [Frances] I would appreciate that.
- So would I.
- [Frances] Anyways, my break is almost over.
Thank you for that, Taz.
You've made my night.
- You're more than welcome.
You have a good night, Frances.
- All right, bye-bye. - Bye.
You're on the air.
- [James] Hey, man.
What's up? - (chuckles) What's up, man?
What's your name?
- [James] James, dude.
- What's up, James, dude?
(chuckles) What's on your mind?
- [James] That was beautiful, man.
That song and that chick was hella cool.
- (laughs) Yeah, she was.
- [James] You gotta get her to call you again.
- We'll see what we can do.
- [James] I wonder what's she up to right now?
- Me too, James, dude.
Me too.
(insects chirping)
- [Lucy] All right, try it.
(engine turns over)
(groans) There it goes.
Hear that baby purr.
- Hey, you got the magic touch.
(engine rumbles) (hood slams shut)
- All right, you should be good to go.
- Thank you, Lucy.
I don't know why she keeps acting up.
- Yeah, it's probably just an excuse
for you to see me again.
- Yeah, well, here you go. (Lucy laughs)
Thanks.
- Thank you.
I appreciate it.
- Hey, whatever happened to that guy you were datin'?
What was his name?
(engine rumbles)
- Duncan?
- Yeah, that's the one.
- Let's just say, that motor gave out.
- Oh, well that's too bad.
Y'all seemed happy.
- Yeah, well, you better get going, all right?
- All right.
- Bye. - Take care, pretty lady.
- Drive safe, Mr. Peterson.
(engine rumbles) (mellow jazz music)
(horn honks)
(door clatters open)
(door slams shut) (mellow jazz music continues)
(tool drawer clatters open)
(tools clang)
(tool drawer clatters shut)
(radio shuffles)
(electronic static) - It's the veriest-
(animated music plays over radio)
(radio garbles)
- [James] She could be anywhere, man.
- [Taz] That's the beauty of radio,
of dial up telephones.
Don't you agree, James, dude? (footsteps pattering)
- [James] What do you mean?
- [Taz] Those stupid cellphones
have stolen the mystery from our lives.
GPS, SMS, MMS.
I thought we had enough with PMS.
- Ha, yeah, man, it's crazy. (Lucy laughs)
- [Taz] It is unhinged madness,
this future we live in.
We were lied to about "The Jetsons".
- [James] "The Jetsons"?
No, I don't know what that is.
- [Taz] You're joking, right?
How old are you James, dude?
- Oh, 17. (chair rustling)
- [Taz] 17?
Yeah, we are way past your bedtime.
Good bye, just James. - Wait, wait, wait, wait!
You think she'll call you?
- [Taz] Answer the question, Jimmy.
I hope she will.
(whimsical instrumental music)
(birds chirping)
(indistinct chattering on radio)
(chair clatters)
- [Radio Announcer] Try Gravel Ax.
You'll be up and running in no time.
WGNS is not responsible- (gentle instrumental music)
(birds chirping)
("Home Again" by Park Lane plays)
♪ I failed you so many times ♪
(car door slams shut)
(engine revs)
♪ I committed so many crimes ♪
♪ And I was pretty sure in myself ♪
♪ You gave me reasons to be somebody else ♪
♪ Baby, I'm home again ♪ (car door slams shut)
♪ Baby, here I am ♪ (door creaks)
♪ I was lost ♪ (packages thudding)
♪ But now I'm found again ♪ (water rushing)
♪ I am home ♪
♪ Baby, here I am ♪
♪ I was lost ♪ ♪ Lost ♪
♪ Baby, I'm home again ♪ (microwave dings)
(water sloshing)
("Home Again" continues playing)
(knocking at door)
- Hey, open up!
(knocking at door continues)
(Lucy groans)
(knocking at door continues)
(lock clatters)
What the hell took you so long?
- I told you to come by at six.
- But it ain't happenin'.
I gotta take Charlene to this audition.
- Like I care.
I was sleeping.
I had a long night.
- Look, like I care?
Look, just move, and let me come in and get my stuff.
- Yeah, just come in and get your stuff.
(door creaks and slams shut)
- [Duncan] Yo, what the hell is this?
Yo, if you damaged anything- - You ain't got nothin'
in there worth a damn.
- Where the rest of my stuff at?
- That was it.
- Oh, what about the TV and the microwave?
- I bought them both.
- No, no, it was mine.
I see the microwave.
Where the TV at?
- I had to pawn my TV.
- You pawned the TV?
Man, go get that shit back- - It's gone!
- I'm taking the microwave.
- You ain't taking shit.
- You move the hell out my face.
- Don't you dare!
(horn honks)
Your whore's calling you.
- Shut your ass up!
(Lucy thuds)
(somber instrumental music)
(Lucy sobs) (footsteps pattering)
(microwave thuds)
(Duncan groans)
(footsteps pattering)
Get up!
Man, get your ass up and open the door!
Nevermind.
Pathetic.
(Lucy sobs)
(microwave clangs)
Fuck!
(boxes thudding)
(Duncan yells indistinctly) (microwave clangs)
(boxes thudding) Man!
(Lucy sobs)
(door softly shuts)
(lock clicking)
(Lucy sobs)
(alarm buzzing)
(button clicks)
(blankets rustling)
(uptempo funky music) (door creaks)
(Taz hums)
- [Tony] I love you man.
You were beautiful.
(Tony laughs)
- Okay? - Okay.
Oh, you smug maricón.
You know what this is?
- Your Cuban birth certificate?
- No, it's last night's results.
We were a huge hit.
We even trended last night.
- Get outta here?
- It's true, look.
(Taz laughs)
- Well, it was 2:00 AM,
even paint drying would trend at that hour.
- That's not the point.
The point is, is that they liked it,
and you on the air cupcaking,
oh man, is amazing.
- Yeah, she was great.
- She was better than great.
She was amazing.
- Amazing, yes.
- So, hey!
Do you think she'll call tonight?
- We'll see.
- I hope so.
Okay?
(Tony speaks in foreign language)
(upbeat funky music continues)
- Yeah, I know what time it is.
I got a big clock starin' right at me.
- [Frances] I was hopin' she would call.
You said she would.
- No, Frances, I said we would see what we could do.
- [Frances] Well, do somethin'.
- We're tryin'.
Lucy, if you're listening,
we shouldn't keep the audience waiting.
- [Frances] I'm gonna hang up.
She might be trying to call
and keeps gettin' a busy signal.
Bye. - Bye.
(sighs) Lucy.
Lucy?
♪ Lucy in the sky with diamonds ♪
Please don't make me sing that again.
(laughs) Please.
All right, Lucy, come on.
We're waitin' for you, girl.
We'll be back after this.
(sighs) Any luck?
- No, sorry.
- Damn it.
I really thought she would call.
- I knew it was too good to be true.
Don't you?
- No, no, don't say that, all right?
This wasn't a fluke.
I felt somethin' there.
♪ Here we go with the same old ♪ - Well, think of something.
You're the DJ, okay?
It's your show, right?
- What can I do?
- I don't know.
- All right, All right, all right.
Let's just...
Maybe we can fill the air.
- Hey look, look, look, look.
The light.
- Oh.
Hello?
- [Lucy] Hello, Taz.
- Lucy?
- The one and the only.
- (laughs) I'm so glad you called.
- You are?
- Yes, we all are.
- We?
- Well, everybody here at the station, and our listeners,
they really enjoyed our conversation last night.
- I did too.
- Ready for part two?
- I am.
- All right, good.
I'm a patch you in right now.
Ready? ♪ Oh yeah ♪
- And we are back!
This is your DJ, Taz the Maz.
And we have a special guest again tonight, Miss Lucy.
- Hello, everybody.
- You know, I have to admit,
I was gettin' kinda scared.
- About what?
- Well, I was scared you wouldn't call.
- Why wouldn't I?
- You know how people are.
- Yeah, don't talk to me about people.
- (laughs) Yeah, people are the worst,
but not you.
- How do you know?
I could be horrible.
- I don't think so.
- Well, I could be a real bitch.
- Hey, hey (laughs)!
Lucy, come on.
We're on the radio.
- Oh, I'm sorry, but I could be a real B,
somebody who double parks,
and cuts people off,
bite her fingernails in public, doesn't wear deodorant.
- Even worse, you could be a Republican.
- I am.
- Oh, I was wrong, you are a nasty B.
(both laughing)
No, you know what?
I don't think so.
- Well, how can you be so certain?
- I don't know.
Just got a feeling about you.
I'm going out on a limb.
- Is that smart?
- Oh, I'm not that smart.
- Yeah, well you are a great conversationalist.
- I have my moments.
Okay, so we both agree,
trusting people isn't easy?
- Yeah, I don't think I'm capable
of trusting anyone anymore.
- You know what?
I'm gonna go out on another limb.
Someone hurt you?
- Yeah. - It's a girl?
Guy?
- He was an asshole.
- Ah, bet he was if he hurt somebody wonderful like you.
- You keep saying that,
but how do you know?
- A lifetime of betrayal has made me
an excellent judge of character.
- Yeah, you're too modest.
- Yeah, modesty is for suckers.
- I disagree.
- Why?
- Because there's too many entitled idiots out here
who have no regard for others.
The only time that they stop
is to see who they're steppin' on.
Modest and humble people,
they're an endangered species.
We don't reward those people,
the people who take the punches for everyone else.
- You're right.
We don't.
Cocky people get all the love and the claim.
Other people are just there to pick up the pieces.
- I thought that's what you were saying last night?
- I was.
- It sounds as if you're just figuring it out?
- That's because I'm just figuring out that I am one.
- No, not at all.
- Yes, I am.
And even now, at the bottom, I cannot be humble.
Just wallow in self-pity.
(scoffs) Think the world should bow to me,
because I've read a book or two,
and if they don't, I lash out.
- It's amusing sometimes.
- Yeah, I thought it was,
but it's not.
It's just (scoffs) pathetic.
- Well, if you feel like that,
you can change it.
- You really think people can change?
- I don't know.
I've spent my whole lifetime
waiting for someone to change,
and they never have.
(sighs) But I trust you.
You can change.
- You trust me?
I thought you just said, trusting people wasn't smart?
- I guess I'm not that smart either.
- Well, I like having these
not-so-smart conversations with you.
- Yeah, I do too.
But I have to go now.
- Okay, wait.
- What?
- Would you care to do this again tomorrow night?
- Sure.
- Does 2:00 AM work for you?
- Yes, that's fine.
- Okay, then it's a date.
- Okay.
Goodbye, Taz.
- Bye, Lucy.
(phone receiver clangs softly)
We'll be right back after this.
(gentle instrumental music)
("Ain't We Got Fun" plays)
♪ Every mornin', every evenin' ♪
♪ Ain't we got fun ♪
♪ Not much money ♪
♪ Oh, but honey ♪
♪ Ain't we got fun ♪
♪ The rent's unpaid, dear ♪
♪ And we haven't a bus ♪
♪ But smiles were made, dear ♪
♪ For people like us ♪
♪ In the winter ♪
♪ In the summer ♪
♪ Don't we have fun ♪
♪ Times are a bum and gettin' bummer ♪
♪ Still, we have fun ♪
♪ There's nothin' surer ♪
♪ The rich get rich and the poor get poorer ♪
♪ In the meantime ♪
♪ In between time ♪
♪ Ain't we got fun ♪
♪ Every morning ♪
♪ Every evening ♪
♪ Ain't we got fun ♪
♪ Not much money ♪
♪ Oh, but honey, ain't we got fun ♪
♪ The rent's unpaid, dear ♪
♪ And we haven't a bus ♪
♪ But smiles were made, dear ♪
♪ For people like us ♪
♪ In the winter ♪
♪ In the summer ♪
♪ Don't we have fun ♪
♪ Times are a bum and getting bummer ♪
♪ Still, we have fun ♪
♪ There's nothing surer ♪
♪ The rich get rich and the poor get poorer ♪
♪ In the meantime ♪
♪ In between time ♪
♪ Ain't we got fun ♪
♪ Landlords mad and gettin' madder ♪
♪ Ain't we got fun ♪
♪ Times are bad and gettin' badder ♪
♪ Still, we have fun ♪
♪ When I first talked with you ♪
♪ I was having a thought ♪
♪ And when I heard you ♪
♪ Feelings couldn't be fought ♪
♪ Since the day I met you I won't let you go to chance ♪
♪ Talk to me, I talk to you ♪
♪ Oh, such sweet romance ♪
♪ It's not whomever 'cause me and you go great together ♪
♪ In the meantime ♪
♪ In between time ♪
♪ Ain't we got fun ♪
- [Antoinette] Have you seen this?
- People seem to like it.
Have you heard it?
- I started to, but I couldn't stomach it.
- It's different.
- Like good different?
- People just like a novelty.
- How long has it been going on?
- Antoinette, stop worrying about him.
In a week nobody's gonna care about
a lousy AM radio show.
We go on in five minutes.
(gentle instrumental music)
- [Taz] Hey, you!
- Hey, hungry hippo.
- Why am I hungry hippo?
- Because you're always eating in there.
- Oh, right.
You should see the spread we got down here nowadays.
- Yeah, what is it?
- There's gluten free crackers,
a little Burrata cheese,
a little avocado toast, mmm.
- Uck! (Taz groans)
- Girl, it's delicious.
- You are a despicable hipster.
That's who you are.
- (scoffs) Eating good makes me a despicable hipster?
- Yeah, you can still eat good
without eating all that pretentious crap.
- Have you tried it out?
- No, I haven't.
I can't afford it.
- What do you normally eat?
- That's a personal question.
- No, it's not.
- It totally is,
because if I tell you what I eat
then you can make all sorts of judgements,
you know, about who I am, how I live, so.
- Okay, first of all, I wouldn't dare do that.
- Yeah, that's what they all say.
- I'm not them.
Come on, try me.
(Lucy sighs) Okay.
How 'bout this?
If you were rich, you can eat anything you want,
what would you eat?
♪ If I were a rich man ♪
♪ I'd fill my yard with chicks and turkeys and geese ♪
♪ And ducks for the town to see and hear ♪
♪ And I wouldn't have to work so hard ♪
(Lucy laughs)
- Okay, okay.
Come on, tell me.
What would you eat?
- I think I know.
Once, when I was a little,
my dad took me to this really nice restaurant.
- Oh, yeah, which one?
- Italian.
- [Taz] Mamma mia!
- It was the nicest restaurant I've ever been at.
I mean, I was used to just Mickey D's,
but this place, nice.
The waiters were dressed up and so were we.
- All right.
Did you wear a dress?
- I did.
- How old were you?
- Nine, but my dad ordered for me,
so I had no idea what was coming out.
- What did he order?
- Some pasta.
But listen, that wasn't the big deal.
Right before the meal came,
the waiters brought out a fresh basket full of the rolls.
I never knew bread could be so good.
I mean, I was used to toast on my PB&J sandwich,
but these, (sighs) they were so soft,
and smelled so good.
(moans) They were soft and crunchy at the same time.
There was this butter on the table,
and I took it,
and I spread it across the roll as I cracked it open,
then I took a tiny, slow bite.
It sent electrical shocks all through my body.
First, in my mouth, then in my tongue.
You know, that salty, buttery taste.
(sighs) It's making me feel all warm
just talking about it.
We didn't have many great times as a child,
but those rolls,
those rolls were magical.
Taz, are you there?
- Yeah (clears throat).
Yeah (laughs).
Yeah, I'm here.
I'm here.
That was a good story.
You got my mouth all waterin'
for some rolls and butter now.
- Well, maybe you should go get some,
instead of that gluten free crap?
- Perhaps.
Perhaps you and I can go get somethin' together?
- Really?
- Oh, yeah (chuckles).
I'd-
(door slams shut) - Lucy, we'll be right back
after these commercial messages.
Thank you.
(phone receiver clatters) Hi, Lucy?
Could you hold on for a moment?
- Okay, that's fine. - Thank you.
(phone receiver clatters)
- What are you doing?
- No, what are you doing?
- What are you talking about?
- What am I talking about?
You're trying to meet her?
Okay, she's the goose that lays our golden eggs,
and you want to kill that?
- No, I Just-
- Want to meet her? - Yeah.
- That would destroy all the magic between you two.
- I think we could make more magic.
- Come on, man.
Think!
Have you ever had a relationship that ended well?
- No, but I think this could be different.
- Hey, you think?
Okay, well, you are winning right now, right?
Okay, you're on top again, right?
- Yeah. - Okay.
And people love you, right? - Yes.
- Okay, so you want to risk losing all that again?
People are crazy for her,
because they imagine her to be this gorgeous girl,
and you imagine it too,
but what if she's ugly?
Do you really want to keep this up?
- Look, I just wanna meet her, all right?
I don't even care how she looks.
To me, she's beautiful already.
- What if she's got a scar?
She's got no teeth?
She's bald?
She's got one eyeball?
And she's got a hook for a hand?
What if she's four feet tall?
What if she has three toes?
- Okay, okay!
You've made your point.
- This works because of the mystery.
If you see her, it's over.
Do you really want it to be over?
- Okay.
Okay, I won't meet her.
- Okay, good.
Try to end the call.
We got another call waiting.
Are you crazy?
Is there something wrong with you?
(sultry pop music)
♪ Oh ♪
- And we're back.
Sorry to keep you waiting, Lucy.
- That's fine.
- Listen, those rolls,
they sounded amazing.
But you know what I would have?
I'd have one of those Wagyu filets mignons, medium rare.
Now, those are the best.
- Yeah, well, after we get the rolls.
- Yeah, after the rolls.
So listen, I'm getting a signal from my producer.
It looks like we have another commercial spot.
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah, popular girl, and the show's a hit.
Everybody wants to be on the show.
So same time tomorrow?
- Yes, sure, same time.
Have a good night, Taz.
- Good night, Lucy.
(phone receiver clatters)
(Lucy sighs)
(door clatters open)
(door slams shut) (plaque thuds)
(melancholic instrumental music)
(Antoinette speaks indistinctly)
I hate you!
(Antoinette laughs)
(Taz gasps)
(heavy breathing)
(Taz groans)
(yawns) Sorry.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, guess I didn't sleep well last night, that's all.
- Your conscious won't let you sleep?
- I don't think I have one of those.
- Sure you do.
- You think? - Yeah.
- You ever have a problem sleepin'?
- (sighs) I used to,
but now, I'm just so tired.
- What kept you up?
- My ex.
- (scoffs) We've all been there,
stressin' over someone.
- [Lucy] (sighs) It was more than that.
- What happened?
- (exhales loudly) I don't think I wanna talk about this.
- Oh, come on, Lucy.
If it's over, it's over.
Okay, how 'bout I tell you about my ex?
The great love of my life betrayed me,
stole from me,
then went on to a life of fortune and glory.
- Yeah, well, your life is still pretty good,
despite all of that.
- Perhaps.
But I can't help but think about what could've been.
- Yeah.
- I sure can pick 'em (laughs).
- Me too.
Me too (sighs).
- So what about your ex?
- I think about the what ifs.
- What if things were different?
- No, just what if I would have never met him?
What if I never would have said yes to the first date?
He would have never destroyed my faith,
stolen my happiness,
killed my joy.
Now, I'm just afraid.
- Of what?
- Another shark in the water that smells blood
and comes to finish me off for good.
- What did he do? - Everything.
- What keeps you going?
- The small things,
the simple pleasures in life.
Driving my car, warming up some noodles, talking to you.
- (chuckles) Well, the feeling is mutual.
I don't know how I could have
kept this thing going without you.
- Yeah, but I don't know
if your audience would appreciate this.
- Why not?
- Too depressing.
- No, it's real.
They like you because you keep it real.
- Me?
What about you?
- No, I'm just show business.
- Stop!
You're more than that.
You're just afraid.
- Of what?
- Exposing yourself,
like really exposing yourself.
You put up this wall.
All of the aggression,
the self-deprecating remarks,
it's just all a front
so people don't see the real you.
- I don't think the real me
would be interesting enough for a show.
- It will be.
You should try it.
- Yeah.
- But I gotta go,
and I'll talk to you tomorrow.
- All right, Lucy.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
- (laughs) Okay.
Goodbye, Taz. - Bye.
We'll be right back after this.
(gentle instrumental music) (Lucy exhales loudly)
- Taz.
(phone receiver clatters)
(Lucy speaks indistinctly)
(exhales loudly)
- [Radio Announcer] You listen to WGNS
with DJ Taz the Maz. (button softly clicks)
- Hey, early bird.
- Hey, Galen. (ominous dramatic music)
- You're taking somebody's spot.
- [Antoinette] Oh, I wasn't aware
I need an appointment to call your show?
- Now is not the time, okay?
- Let's.
You're not gonna introduce me to your audience?
- We have Heidi on the line.
(Antoinette laughs)
- [Antoinette] Well, at least you could be honest
with your audience.
- I will, as soon as you're honest with your fans.
- Galen, why don't you play any of my music?
- Because I don't like any of your phony music, Antoinette.
- I'm sorry you don't like it.
You know, most of my music is about us.
(tool clanks) - No, they are about you.
Why are you calling me right now?
You're a big enough deal
that you should be doing some late night talk show.
But no, you're so dead inside
that you can't stand the idea
of someone else getting attention.
- Oh, are you talking about your virtual girlfriend?
- Look, she ain't my girlfriend, all right?
- You're so defenseless, Galen.
(scoffs) You must really like this Lucy girl?
- Maybe I do.
(covers rustling) (Antoinette sighs)
- Do you remember when we used to stay up all night,
and we would listen to all sorts of music,
and we would talk about movies,
and then politics and religion,
and plan our lives together?
- But you are killing my show right now.
- Galen, I really thought by now
you would be some like big-time music producer.
I would have never guessed
that you would be an AM talk show host.
- You think I like this shit, huh?
Stayin' up wee hours a night,
eatin' nasty ass pizza,
and talking to losers
that nothing better to do but to call me?
- Well, then quit this job, and come work for me.
- (scoffs) I would never work for you.
You stole your whole sound from me,
so you and your managers can go fuck yourselves.
(knocking on window)
- I didn't steal anything from you.
- No, you just used me.
You needed me to write for you
and introduce you around.
You forgot who you are.
But I know the real you.
So it doesn't matter how much glitter,
fancy clothes you put on,
you still ain't shit, bitch.
- Fuck you!
Fuck you son of a bitch!
How dare you talk to me like that!
No, you became nothing without me.
And you would still be nothing,
if not for some deranged woman
calling you in the middle of the night.
You need us bitches!
- I don't need you, Antoinette.
I don't need Lucy either.
I'm DJ Taz the Maz.
Well, sure, I'm stuck here talking to losers
and a deranged women
that has nothing better to do
but to call me every single night.
Sure, I'm taking orders from a Latino mob boss wanna-be,
but at least I know who I am.
Now, maybe one day,
they'll find you dead with a bullet in your skull,
and it'll all be over.
Just another footnote in a book of washed up celebrities.
(uptempo rock music)
(Antoinette yells) (slapping)
- What are you doing?
(Antoinette scoffs)
(uptempo rock music continues)
(headphones clattering)
- Hey, man.
What was that?
- [Taz] I'm done.
- Oh, whoa!
(shuffling)
You're just gonna leave like that?
- No, I fucking quit!
(footsteps pattering)
(door clatters open)
(door slams shut)
(creeper shuffling) Hello, everybody,
with DJ Taz the Maz at WGNS.
So listen, (tool clangs)
when I'm in the city and I get hungry,
I make sure I go get me one of them Crackin' Tacos.
Man, them tacos are- (button clicks)
(tool clangs)
♪ Careful with my love ♪
♪ Cautious with my heart ♪
♪ Has me lookin ♪ - Hi.
- I'm Lucy Carmichael.
- Oh, well, I'm John Wayne.
(Lucille gasps) (audience laughs)
- Oh, oh, I know you are.
(Lucille laughs)
Oh, it's nice meeting you, Mr. Wayne.
I work at the bank,
and I brought some contracts over here for you today.
- Well, thank you.
- I thought about bringing them to you in person,
but I realize that you're a very busy man,
and I didn't wanna bother you.
- Oh, I'm- ♪ Why you are so sweet ♪
♪ So sweet ♪
♪ Baby pull me in the backseat ♪ ♪ Backseat ♪
♪ I see him when I choose ♪
♪ Let it be ♪
- It must be very bothersome-
(audience laughing drowns out Lucille speaking)
When they ask you for your autograph and everything?
- [John Wayne] Well, I never considered that a bother.
- [Lucille] Well, can I have your autograph?
(audience laughs on TV) - Of course.
- [Lucille] Thank you.
- Did you bring a piece of paper?
- No.
(Taz groans)
- [Voicemail] You have 14 new messages.
(male speaks indistinctly) Message deleted.
- [Tony] Hey, man, you better pick up the phone.
I'm not- - Message deleted.
- [Tony] Listen to me.
Listen to me! - Message deleted.
(Taz groans and grunts)
(radio garbles)
- [Radio Announcer] The Silly DJ,
sports, talk, music, and more.
- [Willy] Yo, yo, yo, what's going on, people?
This is your boy, Willy the Silly DJ,
and we've got Lindy on the line.
Welcome to WCKR FM, Lindy.
- [Lindy] Hello, Willy.
- [Willy] All right, so Lindy,
tell us about your worst life experience.
- [Lindy] It's a little bit too dark.
- [Willy] Well, you know, everything is accepted here,
except ongoing criminal investigation,
so go ahead. (Lindy laughs)
- [Lindy] No crime.
My worst life experience
was the day I got diagnosed with leukemia.
- [Willy] Oh, wow.
I'm so, so sorry
to hear about that, Lindy. - Don't be sorry,
because one of my best life experience
is when the doctor told me I was cancer free.
I made it, Willy!
- [Willy] Oh!
Oh, well that's awesome, Lindy.
Wow!
Thank you for sharing that.
- [Lindy] No, thank you for allowing me
to share it on your station.
- [Willy] Anytime, doll.
You know, I understand.
We're all family here.
- [Lindy] That's right,
but there's sometimes we feel all alone.
(Lindy sobs)
But once we know others have been though
what we've been through
and made it- - Yes, Lindy.
- Yes, yeah. - It gives us hope.
- [Willy] We all need a bit of hope.
Lindy, cry if you want, okay?
We got yeah.
Don't worry about it. - Give me a break.
- We're here to support you. (button clicks)
(Taz sighs)
(phone trilling)
- [Tony] What up?
This is Tony.
You mes with me, Ese,
I mess with you, Ese.
Leave a message for me. (message beeps)
- Hey, Tony.
It's me.
Look, I'm sorry.
Give me a call back, please.
(Taz sighs) (phone rings)
Hey.
- [Tony] Meet me at the station at 1:30.
You better be there. (phone beeps)
(door clatters open and creaks)
(door slams shut)
- I'm sorry, man.
I lost it, all right?
- You see this?
- $47,000?
They can't do this.
We're protected by the First Amendment.
- They can and they have!
(Taz scoffs)
- But we gotta do somethin'.
We gotta fight this.
- Pero, guess what?
We have to get the people back on our side.
So you, mister, make it happen.
Make your magic happen, okay?
You're on the air in two minutes,
and don't fuck up.
(door softly shuts)
(button shuffling)
- Welcome back to WGNS.
This is your man, DJ Taz the Maz.
What's up, all my people out there?
Listen, I know a lot of you
don't wanna hear anything I have to say right about now,
and I don't blame you, 'cause I failed you.
In a moment of frustration and a weakness,
I said some things that are simply not true.
You know, growing up in Detroit,
I remember, one day, my mother got into this
big argument with a couple of my neighbors,
'cause they told her that her son was selling drugs.
Crack to be exact.
My mother said, "No, not my baby".
See, she knew that I was innocent.
She knew that they were profiling me
just because I was black.
But what she didn't know
is that she was wrong,
and I was guilty.
I'll never forget the look on her face
when I told her the truth.
Look of disappointment,
'cause I failed her.
I failed my family.
And I promised that day
never to lie to my family ever again.
You all are my family.
I'm sorry I failed you.
See, I don't care that this is AM radio.
I don't care that I eat crappy pizza every day,
because this is where my heart is.
This is where I belong.
Giving the people the truth,
that is the tradition of radio.
That's the way it always was,
and that's the way it always should be.
'Cause without tradition,
our lives are just as shaky as a fiddler on a roof.
Lines are open if you still wanna talk truth.
You're on the air with DJ Taz the Maz.
Who's callin'?
- [Robby] Hey!
Hey, man, it's Robby. (Taz chuckles)
- Thanks for being part of the family, Robby.
- [Robby] Hey, no problem.
It takes a lot of courage to tell the truth.
- It's not for cowards.
- [Robby] Yeah, but I bet Antoinette regrets
losin' a brother like yourself.
- Well, that's not for us to say.
Let's just hope that she moves on with her life,
as should I.
No, we, as humans,
sometimes, we get so caught up in the past
that we neglect the present.
Let the past be the past.
- [Robby] Yeah, very true.
You're the man, Taz the Maz!
We love you, man.
- Thanks, brother.
You have a happy early morning.
- [Robby] You as well.
(button clicks)
- [Taz] You've got the line.
- [Sonya] That's right, I do.
- (chuckles) You know, a couple hours ago,
I don't think anybody
would have agreed with me about anything.
- [Sonya] What you said about living in the past-
- What's you name, love?
- [Sonya] Sonya.
- Thanks for calling, Sonya.
- [Sonya] First, I want to say,
that I accept your apology,
and that we are all human.
- That's sweet.
Thanks for that.
So what do you have to say about the past or the present?
- [Sonya] Well, sometimes we live in the past,
and attach ourselves to moments that we can't move on from.
- Well said.
Any antidotes you'd like to share?
- [Sonya] Well, let me share my story with you first.
My ex-husband was terrible.
He abused me.
We lived together for six years, two children.
In our last two years of marriage,
he would come home drunk,
and beat me up until he left me unconscious on the floor.
- I'm sorry you had to live through that.
- [Sonya] After my divorce, I was traumatized.
I didn't want to hear about love.
I thought men would just hurt me.
- Yeah, I understand.
- [Sonya] But you know what, Taz?
I was putting myself behind a protective wall.
It was fear of loving and being loved again.
- Were you able to find love again?
- [Sonya] Yes, Taz.
All these years,
I had my true love in front of me,
(Taz chuckles) My best friend.
- Your best friend?
(laughs) Okay.
I thought that only happened in romantic comedies?
- [Sonya] He is the best, Taz.
We talk for hours.
Lots of laughing until our stomachs hurt.
He's great to my kids.
Great conversation.
We even talk about how many times we go to the bathroom
and to make poop jokes.
- Oh, well, you know,
that is a very important part of every relationship.
The poop talk, the final frontier.
(both laughing)
Now, scat aside.
I'm happy for you.
He sounds like a great guy.
Everybody deserves to be loved.
- [Sonya] If I had kept the memories of the past,
I would have missed this incredible present.
Never let the past determine your future.
- That is a powerful message.
Thank you for sharing.
- [Sonya] I just thought you might need to hear that, Taz.
Goodbye.
- Goodbye, Sonya.
(button clicks)
(gentle instrumental music)
(earphones clattering)
- [Tony] We lost her.
- I can't accept that.
- What does that mean?
- That means I've gotta find her.
- [Tony] How?
- Give me her number.
- I've tried!
- And?
- I got some tow truck company,
and nobody picks up.
- There's gotta be a way.
- There's nothing we can do.
- No, there's nothing you can do.
- Oh, okay, okay.
Oh, what are you gonna do, huh?
You Sherlock Holmes?
You the FBI?
- I don't know.
I'll think of something.
- You always say that.
You're tired.
Go home and go to sleep.
Do us all a favor.
We do it again tomorrow, okay?
- All right.
(insects lightly chirping)
(Taz sighs)
- [Voice Of Tony] If you leave now, don't come back.
- [Voice Of Antoinette] Galen, I really thought by now
you'd be some like big-time music producer.
Would never have guessed you would be an AM-
- [Voice Of Taz] You and I know.
- [Voice Of Antoinette] You became nothing without me.
You'd still be nothing! (Taz speaks indistinctly)
- All the frustration. (Taz moans)
(interposing voices)
Self-deprecating remarks.
- [Voice Of Taz] People don't wanna know what happened.
- This is just a dream. (Taz breathes heavily)
- I'm the only one- (female laughs)
(Taz groans)
(heavy breathing)
(Taz clears throat)
(pills rattling)
(bottle shuffles)
(liquid sloshing)
(Taz exhales loudly)
(dramatic instrumental music)
(Taz exhales loudly)
(dramatic instrumental music continues)
(Taz gags and coughs)
(groans heavily)
(coughing and groaning)
(Taz mumbles indistinctly)
(objects clattering)
(glass shatters)
- Listen, listen, listen.
This is it, this is it.
(Taz speaks indistinctly), because I'm smart.
I'm sorry.
Uh, shit.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Huh?
It's all right.
(Taz numbles indistinctly)
Fuck you!
Fuck it.
(Taz mumbles indistinctly)
(phone chimes) (Taz grunts)
(dramatic instrumental music continues)
(Taz sighs)
(dramatic instrumental music continues)
(door clatters and creaks open)
(door slams shut)
(chair clatters)
- Que pasa, man?
- Hey, man.
Hey, man. - You look terrible.
- I know, I know, I know I look terrible.
Do me a favor, man?
Cut the fuckin' act.
- How much have you had?
- Almost all of it.
- Can you go on tonight?
- I'm the Maz, baby.
- I may have to let you go.
- (scoffs) Okay.
- Okay?
(liquid sloshing)
- You know what?
That's okay.
I don't care about any of it.
None of it.
This, Taz the Maz.
I'm an idiot.
I'm the idiot who lost.
- She still may call in.
- Ah, now, why would she?
- Because you're a good guy.
- No, I'm not a good guy.
I'm an asshole.
I was an asshole before,
but I was a successful asshole.
Wasted my best years on a she bitch that didn't deserve it,
and I didn't go after the one woman that did.
- Sorry.
- Why I'd listen to you?
- Beats me, but I think you
are making way too much out of this.
You don't even know this woman.
You act like you just broke up with the love of your life,
but that's not it, is it?
It is?
- I'm in love with a woman I never met.
She felt closer to me than anymore.
She wasn't afraid to live in the moment,
live in the truth.
Now- - There are plenty
of real women out there.
- No, there are not.
I've checked.
It doesn't matter.
Fuck it.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
What are you doing?
No, no, no. - Hey, hey!
- No, no, no, no. - What does it
look like I'm doing?
- No, no, you're not going on. - Relax.
- You're not going on the air drunk.
- Why?
- [Both] Why?
- Oh. - Huh?
- Why? - This is it, man.
I'm at the edge, you know?
I'm at the edge, man.
- Okay, well...
Whoa, whoa, you're not going on drunk.
- All right. - That's not how we
do it at the station.
It's not gonna happen.
- Listen, man, I know what you're thinking.
I'm desperate.
Yeah, you're desperate, - Yeah.
- and we don't do desperate. - Yeah.
- on the air. - Yeah.
We need desperate.
- I don't know about that. - Listen, listen, listen.
I'm the man.
I got this.
- Oh- - I can still save us.
You know, I can stop the Titanic from sinking (chuckles).
If I get her to call,
I may can wipe clean the whole Antoinette situation.
You've gotta trust me.
You gotta believe in.
You've gotta understand I'm DJ Taz the Maz.
I've got this.
- Everything's on the line.
It's up to you.
I'm gonna give you a shot.
Don't fuck it up!
- (Taz speaks in Spanish), man.
Come on, man.
Trust me.
Come on.
I got this.
Do me a favor.
Go get me something.
You know what I need.
(dramatic instrumental music)
(button softly clicks)
(button shuffles)
What's up, everybody?
It's your man, DJ Taz the Maz!
I'm sure you've heard
that it's been (mumbles),
it's been a hell of a week.
Well...
(door handle clanks)
(knocking at door)
- Taz?
(knocking at door continues)
Taz, open up.
Taz!
(Taz clears throat)
- I can't...
I can't do this anymore.
It sucks being alone, you know?
It even sucks when you're around people.
And I'm trapped in this fish bowl,
surrounded by all these lights and gadgets,
connected to everybody and everyone,
and I'm still alone.
(Taz sobs)
(exhales loudly)
Forget what I said about love being a lie.
It's not a lie.
It's (chuckles)...
Love reminds us that we are still alive, mm-hmm.
And if you can get it from even one woman,
oh, it'll all be worth it.
If you can just get that one,
that one moment of truth and beauty.
(phone chimes)
- Come on, come on, come on.
- [Emergency Operator] 9-1-1.
What's the emergency?
- Yeah, I'm at the radio station WGNS.
- I had it,
and I did the dumbest thing ever.
I let it slip.
I'm flawed, all right?
I have a lot of problems, I know, I know.
I'm sorry (speaks indistinctly).
- Hey, what y'all listenin' to?
- DJ Taz.
He's having a mental breakdown.
- Yeah, well, what else is new?
- No, this is different.
Just listen! - I'm really sorry.
It's a lot knowing that I had something,
and I let it go.
I let it slip away, and that I just...
I don't know.
- Who's he talking about?
Antoinette?
- No, some woman named Lucy.
- He said- - Shh!
- I had plenty of time, plenty of opportunities
to ask Lucy to meet up with me.
And I should have.
I should have.
I don't know why I didn't.
I just...
I'm stupid.
I (exhales loudly)...
I let a crazy woman,
and you all know who I'm talking about,
kick me out inside of myself, you know?
And I said some stupid things,
like that I hated talking to you people.
The truth is, I did.
I did hate talking to you people, until that day,
the day that she called.
- Hey, are you finished yet?
- Yeah, y'all are good to go.
- Thanks.
(liquid sloshing)
- I've been (chuckles)... (footsteps pattering)
(objects clattering)
(radio garbles)
I've been drunk and hopped up off of pills
every day that I've worked here.
Spillin' out vile, and hate,
and all the rage that's just been built up in me for years.
You know, and I loved
pissin' on all the losers that called here.
It made me feel better than them,
made me feel important,
but I was no better than them.
Worse than them.
I was...
I was worse, until she called.
Lucy, my sweet Lucy,
I owe you an apology.
Lucy, I owe you an apology, Lucy,
because I said that I hated being here,
and I hated talking to
all the freaks, and geeks, and losers.
And it's true.
I mean, I did.
But that was before you,
before you showed me that I wasn't alone.
You know, I...
That there was somebody I could talk to,
you know, that understood me,
that maybe, maybe cares about me.
(Taz groans and sniffs)
I have a lot of problems (laughs).
I know that.
But maybe my problems and your problems,
we could've figured 'em out together
over some of those Italian roles you were talking about.
Yeah (chuckles).
I mean, there has to be a point to all this, yes?
I don't know if it's God,
or faith, or whatever that brought us together.
It had to be for reason.
Perhaps, it made all of this worth it, you know?
Has to be.
Perhaps, I was wrong,
and there is no God, there is no faith.
Nothing is important.
I don't even know if you're listening right now.
Probably aren't.
You probably got wise, and said, you know what?
I'm not callin' this fool anymore.
Why talk to a loser like him?
(exhales loudly)
Let's find out.
(Taz sniffs)
(button softly clicks)
(button shuffles)
You're on the air.
- [Susan] Hello, Taz.
- You're not Lucy.
- [Susan] I am not.
My name is Susan.
- Hello, Susan.
- [Susan] You don't sound well, Taz.
- Yeah, I'm fuckin' fantastic.
Haven't you been listening?
- [Susan] I have.
- Then why'd you call?
- [Susan] Tony asked me to call.
- Who are you, Susan?
What do you do?
- [Susan] I am a counselor.
- What do you counsel on?
- [Susan] I think you know.
- You don't wanna tell me?
- [Susan] Taz, you know you've got people
who really care about you.
Tony looks at you like a brother.
- (scoffs) Tony?
Tony, Tony, Tony, yeah.
Tony is the boss here, ladies and gentlemen.
He's the one who allows me to go on every night.
(sighs loudly)
You know what?
I'm hungry.
I think it's time for that last supper.
- [Susan] Last supper of the day, right.
(Taz laughs)
- You're good.
- [Susan] What do you want to eat now, Taz?
- [Taz] Some Italian rolls.
- [Susan] Do you have any of them?
- Nah.
No, all we have is crap.
- [Susan] Like what?
- Mm-kay, you're good.
Buying time.
I see you, I see you.
Okay.
(gun clanks) (button softly clicks)
Let's see, what do we have?
What do we have?
We have (sniffs) candy, you know, crackers, cold pizza.
- [Susan] I like cold pizza.
- Cold pizza?
You kiddin'?
- [Susan] No.
- See, that's the problem with this country,
the whole world.
People like you.
- [Susan] What did I do?
- (scoffs) Eat a cold pizza.
Pizza is meant to be eatin' hot.
Eating cold pizza is a crime.
- [Susan] People can do what they want.
It's a free country.
- No, it's not a free country!
It's not a free country.
Nothing is free in this country,
not even dyin'.
- [Susan] No one has said anything about about dying.
- I'm sayin' it!
I'm saying it right now!
You die, huh?
A funeral casket, grave, $9,000.
$9,000 just to die.
That's if you want a grave at all.
You get cremated, pff, drops the bill down
about 6, $7,000 just to die!
- [Susan] But no one is dying now.
- No, statistically speaking,
somebody is dying right now.
Bam, dead!
You're dead!
She's dead!
Right now!
Huh?
That's the story of the world,
one funeral possession after the other.
What's the problem with one more.
- [Susan] I can think of several reasons.
(banging at door) (Taz breathes heavily)
- [Officer] Open the door.
It's the police.
- Ah, shit, they found me.
(Taz breathes shakily) - Who found you?
- The popo, the fuzz, the cops, they're here.
(banging on door) - Right now, son.
- You'll never take me alive!
- [Officer] Open the door.
It's the police.
- Come on already!
(male speaks indistinctly)
I'm ready!
Come on!
(banging on door)
(Taz breathes heavily)
- [Susan] Taz?
Are you there, Taz?
(phone receiver clatters)
(muffled indistinct chattering)
(intense dramatic music)
- What's goin' on out there?
(muffled indistinct chattering continues)
(alarm buzzing)
Who is it? (door creaks open)
(Taz sighs loudly)
Lucy?
- It's me.
(Taz breathes shakily)
- Were you listening?
- I was.
(Taz exhales loudly)
- How'd you get here?
- I drove in my Camaro.
- What year?
- '79.
- Nice ride.
(Lucy chuckles)
What are you doing here?
- I'm starving.
I was wondering, do you want to step out
and get some rolls?
- Yes.
(gentle instrumental music)
Yep.
(Taz breathes shakily)
(exhales loudly)
(gentle instrumental music continues)
(gun clangs)
(gentle instrumental music continues)
(turntable clicks)
(Taz exhales loudly)
♪ I was a stranger when you let me in ♪
♪ I was addicted to myself and others ♪
♪ If I had a nickel every time I heard ♪
♪ All the crazy thoughts running out of my words ♪
♪ Saying oh ♪
♪ You heard me on the radio ♪
♪ Couldn't let the feelings show ♪
♪ When I was on the radio ♪
♪ Oh ♪ ♪ Hey ♪
♪ Say oh ♪
♪ You heard me on the radio ♪
♪ Couldn't let the feelings show ♪
♪ When I was on the radio ♪
♪ Couldn't really let it go ♪
♪ I didn't want you to know ♪
♪ When I was on the radio ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ When I was on the radio ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ I was on the radio ♪
♪ I couldn't really let it go ♪
♪ I didn't want you to know ♪
♪ When I was on the radio ♪