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(UPBEAT MUSIC)
(ZIPPER ZIPS)
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER) -(PEOPLE SHOOSH)
(FILM REEL ROLLS)
(RATTLING)
(SERENE MUSIC)
(SLOW GUITAR MUSIC)
Singing about panic attacks
is not something most singers like to get into.
That's kind of touchy territory.
How is it for you, having your work associated with
such difficult, unpleasant, painful things?
Does that bother you? Is that a badge of pride for you?
Like, how do you reflect on that?
Um, I think all of my songs
are just trying to figure feelings and situations out,
um, you know, very...very openly
and to whoever's willing to listen.
DJ: Talk about where you're at right now artistically,
emotionally in the songs.
How... (LAUGHS) How do you really feel these days?
COURTNEY: I just turned 30 last year
and I feel like I stepped over some sort of line
but, I don't know, it's still...I'm still lost.
-(LAUGHS) -Still kind of figuring it out?
Every day, trying to figure... figure stuff out.
But I feel, uh, you know, pretty grateful
and just doing it.
(CROWD CHEERS, WHISTLES AND CLAPS)
Our next guest is making her American TV debut tonight.
To perform the song 'Avant Gardener'
from her new release,
'The Double EP: A Sea of Split Peas',
please welcome Courtney Barnett.
(SINGS) ♪ I'm having trouble breathing in. ♪
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
-ELLEN: Thank you so much! -COURTNEY: Thanks.
-ELLEN: Thank you so much! -(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
The name of the CD is
'Sometimes I Sit and Think and Sometimes I Just Sit'.
Everyone in the audience, you're going home with a copy.
-(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING) -Courtney Barnett!
(DICTAPHONE CLICKS)
COURTNEY: Danny, I'm trying to figure out
how to delete everything.
I've said because I'm self-conscious about it,
but I can't figure it out.
So I don't know what's gonna happen.
(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC)
(COURTNEY SINGS) ♪ The city looks pretty
♪ When you've been indoors
♪ For 23 days I've ignored all your phone calls
♪ And everyone's waiting when you get back home
♪ They don't know where you've been, why you're gone so long
♪ Friends treat you like a stranger
♪ And strangers treat you like their best friend
♪ Oh, well
♪ Spare a thought for the ones that came before
♪ All in a daze bending backwards to reach your goal
♪ Sometimes I get sad
♪ It's not all that bad
♪ One day, maybe never
♪ I'll come around
♪ Sometimes I get mad
♪ It's not half as bad
♪ Pull yourself together
♪ And just calm down
♪ Oh, oh
♪ Oh, oh. ♪
(LAIDBACK ROCK INTRO)
(COURTNEY SINGS) ♪ I'll be what you want
♪ Oh, when you want it
♪ But I'll
♪ Never be
♪ What you need
♪ And the city
♪ Looks pretty
♪ From where
♪ I'm standing. ♪
(GUITAR SOLO)
(SONG ENDS)
Uh, take bus for 10 hours from here to watch you.
-Whoa. -You are my biggest star.
-Oh, thank you. -Yeah.
-Iconic star. -Xie xie.
-I appreciate that so much. -Can I...
I'm gonna sign you both a poster.
Can I ask you to write your...
..one of your lyrics on my T-shirt?
Yeah. Uh-huh.
"I'd rather stay in bed with the rain over my head
"than have to pick my brain up off the floor."
-Uh-huh. On that? -Yeah. From here.
My name Bobby.
-B-O-B-B-Y. Bobby. -OK. OK. (CHUCKLES)
"I'd rather stay in bed..."
BOBBY:
-COURTNEY: Oh, yeah? (LAUGHS) -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Me too. (LAUGHS)
-I love you. You're fantastic. -"I'd rather stay in bed..."
BOBBY: The song is fantastic.
"With the rain..."
-Rain? -Rain. Rain.
BOBBY: "Rain over my head."
COURTNEY: "With the rain over..." Oh, yeah, yeah.
"Rain over my head."
What's the next one?
BOBBY:
Oh, that's right. (CHUCKLES)
Oh, OK. OK. (HUMS)
"Up...off...the..."
-Floor. -"..floor."
-Yeah. -(LAUGHS)
And can you write your name?
-Yeah. -Courtney Barnett.
(SERENE MUSIC)
(DICTAPHONE CLICKS)
COURTNEY: I thought I should just try
to get into the swing of talking to you
because, um, I think I overthink it, you know?
I, uh...I overthink what I need to say
and then I don't say anything.
Maybe it's more useful to just...
(YAWNS)
..talk.
(P.A. ANNOUNCEMENT IN MANDARIN)
COURTNEY: I had a submission on my website with a comment box
asking people to tell me how you really feel.
It's been really humbling and really beautiful
reading what people are willing to share
and to, uh...to be open about.
I'm gonna read you some.
There's, like, literally thousands of them.
(READS) "Feeling lonely but I don't know why."
"Feeling exhausted but don't wanna show it."
"A little guilty but generous."
"Giddy with falling in love."
"Happy but stressed."
"Brave and terrified."
There's a really overwhelming number
of, "I feel tired".
"I feel hopeless."
"I feel alone."
A lot of people feel alone.
Maybe they're not so alone.
(THUNDER RUMBLES)
-(HARD DRUMMING) -(CROWD CLAPS ALONG)
(SINGS) ♪ I'm not suicidal, just idling insignificantly
♪ I come up here for perception and clarity
♪ I like to imagine I'm playing 'SimCity'
♪ All the people look like ants from up here
♪ And the wind's the only traffic you can hear
♪ He said, "All I ever wanted to be
♪ "Was an elevator operator Can you help me, please?"
♪ Don't jump, little boy, Don't jump off that roof. ♪
-(GUITAR PLAYS NEARBY) -(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(MUSIC FADES)
(DICTAPHONE CLICKS)
COURTNEY: It's amazing how different
a live performance can be from day to day.
One day it can be so totally liberating
and electric and energetic
and alive.
And then another day,
it can just be so rigid
and full of fear
and...and, uh, can feel so far away.
Going through those motions and playing the songs
and then, um, just having
this whole other narrative running in my head
about how everyone,
you know, is standing still
and thinks I'm a big joke
and talentless.
(LOW, ENIGMATIC MUSIC)
'Cause I see myself trying to go through, you know, these motions
of, you know, what... what you're supposed to do
or what people expect you to do.
It's like that unwritten rule on stage
to, uh, you know, walk to the front
and put your guitar in the air
and then that corner of the crowd screams.
It feels like I'm being part of this scripted performance
of what we...you know, of...of...of...
..of what we think we're supposed to see on stage
and it just feels really pointless.
I think forward to next year,
we have this whole year mapped out
and I don't know what the point of it is.
I do wanna do this tour
but I also just don't wanna do it
at the same time.
And, um... I don't really know why.
(SINGS) ♪ Don't go changing on me... ♪
(STRUMS)
(PLAYS SINGLE NOTE) G.
(TUNES GUITAR)
(CLEARS THROAT)
Oh! Indecent. (LAUGHS)
(PLAYS MELLOW INTRO)
(SINGS) ♪ Would you even know
♪ Would you even care
♪ If you never see me again? ♪
(PLAYS GENTLY)
(GUITAR RECORDING PLAYS)
WOMAN ON PHONE: So, let's talk about you have this lyric -
"I wanna walk through the park in the dark
"Men are scared that women will laugh at them."
And you also say, "You must be lonely being angry."
Obviously, like, both men and women feel fear and anger,
but men are kind of conditioned to channel it into violence
and women are often at the receiving end of that violence.
So I wanted to talk to you
about how you kind of think about male fear
and how it's transformed into violence.
Yeah, I think the song...
I mean, I don't...I don't know.
I think that that's the point of the song,
is just that kind of...
..study of it, in a way,
and kind of trying to understand it
as a means to kind of, um... you know, combat it
or...or...or that kind of idea to, yeah...
To be able to dismantle something,
you need to be able to understand it in a way,
or, um...
(DICTAPHONE CLICKS)
Someone left a note saying,
"You are great at music
"but, please God, stop doing interviews.
"It's horrendous."
And I got really bummed out.
It made me really sad 'cause, I mean,
I don't know how to say these things that I want to say
and I know I end up sounding like a fuckin' moron.
To be completely honest, I just feel like
I've kind of let myself down somehow
with the release of this album.
You know, what could have been a fantastic conversation
around fragility and...and depression
and mental health,
it just ended up kind of being swept to the side
because I was too scared
to talk about anything real or heavy.
I get frustrated myself.
It's like, "Why can't you just be,
"like, a strong, powerful communicator?"
Courtney Barnett und band.
(CHEERING)
Very good to have you.
(SPEAKS GERMAN)
It's not only a feel-good writer,
you're always also angry.
You're saying, "I'm not your bitch, I'm not your mother."
(SPEAKS GERMAN)
Who is bothering you? (SPEAKS GERMAN)
(LAUGHS) Um, that's a big first question.
I, uh... (LAUGHS) I don't think I was ready for that.
We don't have so much time, so...
Yeah, I don't think there's enough time in the world
to answer that question.
So you don't know who you're talking about?
Oh, yeah, but I don't wanna, you know, make it too obvious.
(SINGS) ♪ Put up or shut up It's all the same
♪ It's all the same
♪ Never change, never change... ♪
(BAND PLAYS HARD ROCK)
(WHOOPING)
♪ I'm not your mother I'm not your bitch
♪ D-did I stutter? A little bit
♪ Sit down and shut up It's all the same
♪ It's all the same Never change, never change
♪ I get most self-defensive
♪ When I know I'm wrong
♪ Think we all can agree
♪ I try my best to be patient
♪ But I can only put up with
♪ So much shit
♪ Huh!
♪ I'm not your mother I'm not your bitch
♪ I hear you mutter under your breath
♪ Put up or shut up It's all the same
♪ It's all the same Never change, never change. ♪
(SCREAMS)
(DICTAPHONE CLICKS)
Hey, Danny.
I think I've kind of fucked my voice up.
I don't know, I sang...angrily
and now I've lost my voice...
(LAUGHS)
..due to the anger.
I can't quite get in the zone of positivity
on this tour.
Um, but I'm trying.
I have a day off tomorrow,
so, you know, that's fun.
OK.
Cool.
(WHISPERS) We're rolling, Danny.
(STRUMS)
(SINGS) ♪ Keep on keepin' on
♪ You know you're not alone
♪ And I know all your stories
♪ But I'll listen to them again
♪ And if you move away
♪ You know I'll miss your face
♪ It's all the same to me
♪ You know
♪ It's all the same to me
♪ Keep on keepin' on
♪ You know you're not alone
♪ And I know all your stories
♪ But I'll listen to them again
♪ And if you move away
♪ You know I'll miss your face
♪ It's all the same to me
♪ You know
♪ It's all the same to me. ♪
Cool.
Started great.
(DICTAPHONE CLICKS)
I'm in Berlin. I'm in Berlin.
And it's lovely here. I'm in a gold-plated room.
And... (LAUGHS)
..it's very shiny.
I love it. I feel, uh, quite regal.
I woke up having one of those, like, just-feeling-sad days.
Which is OK.
I think sometimes it's just OK to feel sad
and keep on going with what you're doing
and...being sad.
I guess I'm aware that, you know,
people think that touring makes me sad,
but I think, in reality,
I remember having feelings like this
when I was, like, 10 years old
and just... (CHUCKLES)
..being, like, emo - an emo kid -
before I knew what emo was.
Anyway, today I feel sad.
(SINGS) ♪ Take
♪ Your broken heart
♪ Turn it
♪ Into art
♪ Can't take it with you
♪ Can't take it
♪ With you
♪ I don't wanna
♪ I don't
♪ Wanna know
♪ Oh
♪ Ooh, oh. ♪
(BAND PLAYS)
(CHEERING)
(TRAIN RATTLES)
Toilet.
Dunny.
This is the bedroom.
This is Hook's bed. This is my bed.
I've got mine fitted with a blue light.
It's for extra ambience. (LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS) What are you supposed to do there?
Yeah.
(SPORT BROADCAST PLAYS ON TV)
(YAWNS)
(SNIFFS)
(MELLOW MUSIC)
(SNIFFS)
COURTNEY: You're a really lovely crowd.
(CROWD CHEERS)
And thanks for being here.
This song is called 'Depreston'.
(CROWD CHEERS)
(DICTAPHONE CLICKS)
COURTNEY: I was on stage last night.
And then I was getting...
..so down and I felt so sad
I just started crying.
(SIGHS) I don't think I've ever cried on stage like that.
It actually felt quite nice. (CHUCKLES)
Felt quite liberating,
crying in front of 2,000 people.
And people were just like, "What the fuck?
"What's wrong with her?"
(SINGS) ♪ If you've got a
♪ Spare half a million
(CROWD SINGS) ♪ You should knock it down
♪ And start rebuilding
♪ If you've got a
♪ Spare half a million
♪ You should knock it down
♪ And start rebuilding
(COURTNEY JOINS IN) ♪ If you've got a... ♪
I just wanna be home, I think.
Um, feel a bit of a confused relationship
between home
and away from home.
COURTNEY AND CROWD: ♪ Got a spare half a million... ♪
Sorry I'm being such a bummer lately, but, uh...
..that's...me being honest.
(DICTAPHONE CLICKS)
I was thinking on the plane, I still...
I don't know why I write
or I don't know why I put all this energy, you know,
into...into this thing that I do,
that we do that, like...
..sometimes it's hard to comprehend
if it's a waste of energy.
I don't know what my true intention is.
I don't know if I'm trying to impress someone...
..or if I'm trying to get vengeance
for someone who picked on me once in my life
or trying to make someone proud
or trying to prove someone wrong
or...or if I'm just trying to make someone feel something
or if I'm just trying to...
..make myself feel something.
I mean, I'm not saying you need,
like, a 'purpose' purpose,
but I'm just intrigued
as to where the craving comes from.
(LIQUID POURS)
-(HUMS SOFTLY) -(DOG BARKS SOFTLY)
(CONTINUES HUMMING)
(DICTAPHONE CLICKS)
I don't feel like doing much except sitting here
trying to figure out what, uh...what life means.
(LAUGHS)
It's like a puzzle that I'm trying to, uh...
(SNIFFS)
..I'm trying to put together every day.
I've been writing lots of haikus recently.
So we've got five syllables,
seven syllables, five syllables.
Maybe I'll just read some of that out for you.
"Please leave me alone
"No, give me attention, please
"I am so lonely." (LAUGHS)
"Trust me, the irony of
"'Tell Me How You Really Feel'
"Is not lost on me."
(TAPS RHYTHMICALLY)
(SINGS) ♪ I feel stupid I feel useless
♪ I feel insane
♪ I feel toothless
♪ Man, you're ruthless
♪ Oh, yeah
♪ I feel putrid
♪ I'm getting used to it
♪ These days
♪ I go to Loving Hut
♪ I get my hair cut
♪ I feel the same... ♪
(BIRDS TWITTER)
(DICTAPHONE CLICKS)
Hey, Danny.
I seem to start the day off with so much optimism.
And then by now, it's, uh...
..it's all kinda gone downhill a little bit.
But, you know, I, uh...
I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about anymore.
I don't know... I don't understand
the point of talking about my feelings.
I've got nothing to complain about,
so what am I doing talking about it?
I realistically should have power
to, um...be useful
and to be helpful,
and all I can do is whinge.
Yeah, I don't think I'm really in the mood to indulge my, uh,
egotistical, uh, side.
I just don't see the point in doing this.
And I don't think I'm at a place
where I can help anyone
'cause I can't even seem to really help myself
or be useful, uh, to myself.
I just feel like I'm going around in circles
and digging myself a deeper hole.
-Courtney Barnett. -(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
ANNOUNCER: 'Tell Me How You Really Feel'
is the second full-length solo album
from the Sydney-born, Hobart-raised, Melbourne-based
singer-songwriter,
which she released on her own label, Milk! Records.
Courtney's debut album scored four ARIAs
as well as nominations at the Brit Awards and the Grammys.
Congratulations, Courtney Barnett.
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
Congratulations. Congratulations.
Well, uh, thank you very much.
Oh, it IS nerve-racking up here.
Now I understand.
-Um... -(WOMAN WHOOPS AND LAUGHS)
I would, uh... I'd love to, you know, introduce my band.
I couldn't, uh...I couldn't do all the shows and make records
without my amazing band.
Bones Sloane, Dave Mudie, Katie Harkin.
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
COURTNEY: I watched, um, the Nico film -
like, Nico the singer.
There was this great line,
she said something along the lines of...
"When I had nothing, I wasn't happy.
"And when I had everything, I wasn't happy."
I guess, um, I've got no idea what nothing even feels like.
(CHUCKLES) 'Cause I've got...something.
I've always had something.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Yeah, I was thinking today,
I always talk to you about the same shit.
And, um...I've been such a fuckin' bore.
Such a bore.
Just listening to myself is...
..frustrating.
Should get something real to write about...
..instead of just talking about writing.
It's all I ever do.
I talk about how hard it is.
(YAWNS)
How much I struggle but I don't actually do any writing,
or any good writing.
I just write rubbish...
..about nothing.
'Cause I've got nothing to talk about.
'Cause my head is just empty.
My heart is empty, my head is empty.
The page is empty. (LAUGHS)
(UPBEAT GUITAR MUSIC)
(SINGS) ♪ I...I...I...I
♪ I don't wanna feel
♪ I...I...I
♪ Don't wanna fee-feel
♪ Stick a needle in my eye
♪ I wanna die, I wanna die
I wanna die
♪ Stick a needle in my eye
♪ I wanna die, I wanna die
♪ Wanna die, wanna die, wanna die, wanna die
♪ Wanna die, wanna die, wanna die
♪ Stick a needle in my eye
♪ I wanna, wanna die, wanna die
♪ Wanna die, wanna die, wanna die
♪ Wanna die, wanna die
♪ Stick a needle in my eye
♪ I wanna die, wanna die, wanna die, wanna die
♪ Wanna die, wanna die, I
♪ Ahh! ♪
-Huh. -(STRUMS CHORD)
-(SNIFFS) -(STRUMS CHORDS)
(VACUUM CLEANER HUMS)
DANNY: So, when was the last time you had a home?
COURTNEY: Um...
Well, when I got back from tour,
I stayed...I stayed at the warehouse
and then at that house in Thornbury.
Was there maybe somewhere else?
Sublet. Just little sublets and house-sitting situations.
Which are good and fine,
but just, like...just feel like
my stuff is always scattered everywhere.
So it feels a little bit stressful.
And then I end up...
Like, I went back to the warehouse the other day
and I just felt like I'd rather just be there,
be in a weird space where all of my things are.
I'm so excited to get my haircut today.
Oh, God.
DANNY: And what's the plan with it?
-Just, like, the... -DANNY: A reset?
The... Yeah, the...the re-zhoosh.
DANNY: "Give me the Courtney," you'd say.
(LAUGHS) Yeah.
Gonna have to find some photos of myself to show her
and say, "Do it just like this."
I feel like, you know, sometimes the longer you leave something,
the harder it is to reset.
Like, it's like it takes longer to get back to normal.
(DICTAPHONE CLICKS)
I just remembered about this, um, post
that Patti Smith put up the other week.
Um, it really resonated with me.
It came through making a lot of sense.
"Despite all the strife in the world,
"we must continue to do our work.
"Creating takes up much of the artist's time
"and may seem a self-serving prospect.
"But the directive is to offer something meaningful
"that hopefully provides a transformative experience,
"whether through tears, laughter or illumination.
"So I am back to work, grateful I have work
"and that there are those who wait and support it."
Anyway, I like going back to that when I feel lost lately.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
COURTNEY: Sometimes by the end of the day,
it feels like the world is, uh,
crashing down around me.
I know it's not completely bad
because I'm looking forward to the next day.
You know, I have hope for the next day.
You know, I want the chance to create the, uh...
..the memory of the next day,
to fix whatever was wrong
the day before.
So I know I'm not in too much trouble...
..when I feel low.
Uh...
It's 5am.
I don't know why... why I'm awake.
I just had one of those...
..revelation moments.
(INAUDIBLE)
I just have this real, uh, feeling
that I need to change something.
I need to make a big change,
or lots of big changes.
This might sound cryptic.
I guess it kind of is, but I don't really know either.
I just... It's just a feeling.
It's strong and it's, uh, overwhelming right now.
And, uh, I think when a feeling like that comes,
you need to, um... you need to just trust it,
and trust your instinct, trust your gut.
(MAN SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
Oh, yeah.
Which one do you like, Danny?
(STRUMS NOTES)
You know, I go through so much love and hate of performing
and, like, falling into the groove
of the same thing,
which can sometimes be so great.
But, um, I kind of thirst
for, um, difference and change
and, like, pushing my own comfort levels.
Maybe I'll organise a little solo run of some small places.
I think it'll be really good for me to, um...
..to...to hear the songs differently.
You know, I'll have to re-imagine them.
And I think in that process,
I'll understand them differently.
I feel like that will be a really good thing for me.
That's my shoe collection. (LAUGHS)
(VOCALISES IN WARBLING MANNER)
It's gonna be a very attentive audience. I'm scared.
Very quiet.
(HUMS)
I just have to be like,
"They're not quiet because they hate me.
"They're quiet because it's a quiet room
"and they are, uh, listening politely."
And...
We are, uh...
We get scared to make noise in those moments.
(CHUCKLES) I do.
As an audience member, I would be like, "Gotta be quiet."
So I just have to be cool.
Be calm and collected.
DANNY: I mean, everyone's bought a ticket, right?
Yeah. Unless they got a free ticket.
(BOTH LAUGH)
DANNY: That's what's going through your head?
"All these people got a free ticket. I hope they're..."
Maybe ticket sales were bad, so the local radio station
was giving away tickets, you know what I mean?
DANNY: That's going through your head on stage?
Yeah.
Maybe someone got given a ticket for Christmas
and they were like, "I don't wanna go to that shit."
And they gifted it, they regifted it.
DANNY: Mmm.
-You know? -DANNY: Yeah.
Maybe they...they hate-bought a ticket.
They were like, "I hate her. I'm gonna hate-watch...
"I'm gonna hate-watch this show
"and just hate every minute of it."
These are real things that people do.
DANNY: Instead of just going and enjoying themselves?
Yeah. (LAUGHS)
WOMAN: OK. Do you wanna go on on the right or the left?
-Right, please. -This way. Follow me.
(COURTNEY CHUCKLES)
Can you see? Can you see?
Need some more light?
COURTNEY: Yay!
(SINGS) ♪ I wanna live forever... ♪
-WOMAN: Can you see? -COURTNEY: Yep.
(CROWD HUBBUB)
OK. Yep.
(CHEERING)
(FLAPS LIPS AND VOCALISES)
(SIGHS) I'm short of breath already.
-ANIKA: You are? -Yeah.
(RAPTUROUS CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
Hey.
Hello there.
(STRUMS RANDOM NOTES)
Sorry to cut Lucinda Williams off then. That was rude.
But what a great song to walk out to.
Alright, how is everyone?
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
MAN: We love you, Courtney!
I love you too.
(CHEERING)
I can't believe how many of you there are.
Thanks for coming.
(PLAYS 'I'M SO LONESOME I COULD CRY' INTRO)
♪ The silence
♪ Of a falling star
♪ Lights up a burning sky
♪ And as I wonder
♪ Where you are
♪ I'm so lonesome I could cry
♪ I'm so lonesome
♪ I could cry
♪ I'm so lonesome
♪ I could cry. ♪
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
Thank you.
(MUSIC PLAYS NEARBY)
Five states in five hours.
Couldn't do that in Australia.
Do you think I need to wear my beanie?
My hair is...fluffy.
And...gross.
I've gone from, like, a big darkness
to, like, this... this quite open optimism,
which feels quite nice.
I don't know where it came from.
But now I'm like, "Maybe it's noth..."
There's something. I just don't know what it is.
But it brings people some sort of joy,
togetherness.
Phew! Phew! (LAUGHS)
Chh! Chh!
♪ I wanna walk through the park in the dark
♪ Men are scared that women will laugh at them
♪ I wanna walk through the park in the dark
♪ Women are scared that men will kill them... ♪
Any questions before I...
-WOMAN: How are you feeling? -How am I feeling?
-WOMAN: Yeah! -I feel great.
-Who was that? -WOMAN: That was me.
Hey, I have something for you if you'd like it.
COURTNEY: Oh! Oh, cool.
-(SCATTERED APPLAUSE) -WOMAN: Can you pass that?
-COURTNEY: Oh, wow! Thanks! -(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
Oh! I saw this on the internet.
-WOMAN: Yeah. -Thanks.
-WOMAN: I hope you like it. -Thank you.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
-Uh, what is your name? -I'm Emily.
Hi, Emily. Thank you.
Thank you so much for being here.
All of you, all around.
-(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) -Everyone.
I hope you get home safe.
The roads are slippery, right?
It's crazy. Like, I just got here a week ago.
There's fires in Australia. It's, like, 40 degrees.
Our 40 degrees. Celsius.
I don't know what that is. Like a hundred?
There's fires one day,
and then the next day there was floods,
and then the next day, there was, like, hail.
And then the next day there was a...dust storm
that lifted dust from the centre of Australia
all the way to the east coast.
And the air was just red.
And then the rain was red.
And the puddles were red.
You know, let's keep talking about it.
I think it's good to talk about it.
Like, all those bad things. Otherwise...
They're not just gonna go away
if we don't talk about it, right?
-Right? -(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
If we just pretend it's not happening.
Be careful on the icy roads.
And just...I'm so grateful that you're here
and that we're, you know, doing this thing together,
this music thing.
DANNY: Um, where do you wanna sit? There's good.
COURTNEY: Yeah? What should I...
DANNY: Well, sit...sit wherever you're comfortable.
That's it. Right there.
(COURTNEY LAUGHS)
DANNY: Facing the wall. Yeah, perfect.
(LAUGHS)
DANNY: There we go. Yeah.
I was nervous before it started,
but I think the whole...
..this whole tour has been really...has been really good.
I think I was a little bit, like, unsure
of how I could be entertaining enough,
but...but the audiences have been so, um, like,
straightaway, um, positive and really warm and...
And... Yeah. It's...
There's something about it I've just really loved.
Like, the...it's like a different kind of intimacy
with them and, like, a kind of conversation almost,
which feels really good.
And it's, like, revitalised something.
Like, some sort of confidence or some sort of...belief.
And it's good, I mean,
it makes me want to write better songs,
because the songs are so bare.
So it's, like, you really...you know,
you really hear everything in the song,
so it's good in that way.
It makes me want to kind of try different things
and think...think differently.
So, like, different songwriting.
(SINGS) ♪ Tell you all... ♪
(HUMS)
(PLAYS MELLOW TUNE)
♪ And why are you so nice?
♪ Looking forward to December
♪ When I'm gonna have dinner with you. ♪
(STOPS PLAYING)
I don't know if I even like the line.
It goes, "I would sell my soul for a minute of your time."
Which is very romantic but it's very over the top.
One minute of someone's time for your whole soul?
DANNY: How do you know when a song's done?
Uh...you know a song is done
when, uh, it just keeps...
Uh... When it...
When you stop questioning it, I guess.
Or when it just flows properly.
Like, this doesn't feel like it's flowing properly.
There's something wrong with it.
It's, like, when it's really fun to play over and over,
then you know it's finished.
It's never completely finished,
but that's when it's mostly finished.
Close to finished.
(CONTINUES PLAYING)
DANNY: How long have you been working on it?
I guess it's kind of fresh.
It's... It must have been just after my niece was born.
And my uncle died.
'Cause of the lyric, "A baby was born as a man lay dying."
That was December.
(PLAYS MELLOW TUNE)
And the fires were happening.
"Sit beside me, watch the world burn.
"We'll never learn."
Now it's outdated by a few months.
Or...timeless.
As they say.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS QUIETLY)
These are nice-looking wine glasses.
Crrr!
Maybe it's the right time for the last show for a while.
'Cause I feel a bit tired.
But I feel exc...
I feel like, also, on top of that,
I feel in the swing of it.
Like, I'm feeling very comfortable on stage,
which is rare.
But I think it's, like, the no set-up time.
It's like, all of a sudden,
all of a sudden, you're on stage.
Which I think is probably good for me,
so I don't think about it too much.
(STRUMS RANDOM NOTES) Encore?
Should I do an encore?
Do people like encores?
The age-old debate.
Sometimes I go to a show and I'm like,
"Just get off the stage.
"Even though I love you, don't do an encore.
"My legs are tired."
I'll do an encore. (LAUGHS)
Just to spite them.
(PLAYS 'SUNDAY ROAST')
(AUDIENCE CHEERS AND WHISTLES)
♪ Keep on keepin' on
♪ You know you're not alone
AUDIENCE: ♪ You're not alone
♪ And I know all your stories
♪ But I'll listen to them again
♪ And if you move away
♪ You know I'll miss your face
AUDIENCE: ♪ I'll miss your face
♪ It's all the same to me
♪ You know it's all the same to me
♪ Keep on keepin' on
♪ You know you're not alone
AUDIENCE: ♪ You're not alone
♪ And I know all your stories
♪ But I'll listen to them again
♪ And if you move away
♪ You know I'll miss your face
AUDIENCE: ♪ I'll miss your face
♪ It's all the same to me
♪ You know it's all the same to me
♪ Keep on keepin' on
♪ You know you're not alone
AUDIENCE: ♪ You're not alone
♪ And I know all your stories
♪ But I'll listen to them again... ♪
Do you like my slippers?
DANNY: Yeah.
I got them in Mexico.
-DANNY: Mexico? -Yep.
(DICTAPHONE CLICKS)
Danny, you're gonna be so upset with me.
I haven't...I haven't
talked to the dictaphone this whole tour.
I feel like everything is starting to make more sense.
I think the...the journey
is understanding what the... what the purpose is.
And, uh, I think everyone struggles with that journey.
It's probably a lifelong kind of exploration.
Sorry, this is gonna be a disappointing, uh, moment
when I hand it over to you,
but, uh...in the process of not talking,
I feel like I've, uh... I've discovered something,
which could, um, help,
uh, in the... in the bigger picture.
So let's see. Let's see how that goes.
This year, I'm just learning how to slow down.
And, um, learning the kind of importance
of solitude and reflection.
My new home.
I do this thing where I think I'm not being heard.
I just have this fear that the...
..you know, the microphone isn't loud enough
or that I'm not being clear enough.
So that's why I kind of end up singing louder and screaming
and playing guitar louder
and everything kind of slowly starts edging upwards.
But I just feel like
making quiet and peaceful, calm music.
You know, as if you're in the room with me,
just kind of quietly singing you this idea.
Like a gentleness that I think I lost along the way.
I just can't yell anymore.
For now. (LAUGHS)
You need anything?
DANNY: You talking to me or the cat?
COURTNEY: You. (LAUGHS)
DANNY: No, thank you.
(CAT PURRS)
Hello. (CHUCKLES)
You wanna be in the movie?
Yes, you do.
(PLAYS GENTLE TUNE)
♪ In the dark
♪ Are you scared?
♪ Did you hear those dogs bark?
♪ Da-da-da
♪ They don't mean you no harm
♪ Shine the torch on the path
♪ Darlin', please don't let go of my arm
♪ When you sleep
♪ Are you warm?
♪ Can you feel my cold feet?
♪ Yeah, I don't want you to be alone
♪ And I don't want you to be alone
♪ Yeah, I don't want you to be alone... ♪
So there's a good amount
of traffic in this area.
Foot traffic.
Yeah.
Well, what I've learnt is that nobody looks up.
People look at the ground
or they look at their phone or they look ahead, obviously.
But they don't look up.
I love the colour of the trees at the moment.
Well, it's getting more into winter,
so it's kind of fading, but...
..all those red and orange leaves everywhere.
So beautiful.
I was playing with the inks the other day.
I quite like that one.
That's the window.
Does that look like me? That was a self-portrait.
It kind of... it kind of looks like
how I drew in high school.
DANNY: I can't tell which one's the real Courtney.
I'm looking very pouty.
(LAUGHS)
And then I started drawing lots of birds on the wires.
-(BACKGROUND POP MUSIC PLAYS) -(HUMS ALONG)
-(DICTAPHONE CLICKS) -Mmm, Danny.
Um, I'm thinking about, um, how to make my next record.
I kind of have no idea where to start.
I think I might ask my friend Stella
to help me, um... gather my thoughts
and my ideas into one spot.
♪ Let me know, let me know how you go, how you go... ♪
(CONTINUES HUMMING ALONG TO BACKGROUND POP MUSIC)
♪ How, how it shows... ♪
(GUITAR, RHYTHMIC DRUMBEAT AND CLICKS PLAY)
I feel so happy today.
It's hard to explain why but I just, um...
I feel really, uh, inspired.
I just really miss making music, I think.
I miss making music with other people.
DANNY: What's the song about?
What's this song about?
(RHYTHMIC ELECTRONIC BEAT PLAYS)
It's about, um...
..um, a conversation with a friend
who is telling...me, um,
about someone they're in love with.
(PLAYS GUITAR ALONG TO BEAT)
♪ I've been around the world
♪ Looking for the perfect girl
♪ Turns out she was just living down the street... ♪
A bit faster?
♪ Living down the street... ♪
Stella, what would you like on your toast?
STELLA: Mmm...
-Salami! -(COURTNEY LAUGHS)
Day three of four, is that right?
Day three of four. Correct.
We're gonna, um...
..record two songs - maybe.
-If we feel like it. -If we feel like it.
(BOTH LAUGH)
Vegemite on my tooth?
(LAUGHS)
COURTNEY: ♪ An old man... ♪
-In the chorus? -Just everywhere. Yeah.
Like, or whether you wanna keep the...
(VARIES DRUMBEAT)
COURTNEY: I like it. I like it.
I think it gives it a little bit of...interest.
(DICTAPHONE CLICKS)
I think the thing that always gets me
is that it...like, when you record something,
you're making this definitive piece of history
that will sit as a thing forever.
That makes sense. But I think also...
I really love the idea
of, um...of letting go of that perfectionism.
Like, letting go of the idea
that what I'm doing is the most important thing
in the world.
Not to, like, give it no credit,
but, you know, it's true.
There's...there's no point working up, I don't know,
these big, like, walls of catastrophe...
..and disaster over...over creation.
Gonna clock off for now,
but I'll...I'll come back
with something eventually.
Alright, Danny. 'Bye.
I just think it has room to be, um, more inconsistent.
STELLA: Yep.
Play.
Play...uh, play the tempo for you.
-Um... -STELLA: Play.
♪ Time is money
♪ And money is no man's friend
♪ And all eyes on the pavement
♪ I'm not gonna touch ya
♪ Don't worry so much about it
♪ I'm just waiting
♪ For the day
♪ To become night. ♪
(TAPS HOLLOWLY)
-Hold on. -Go.
-Wait. Hold on. Wait. -Go. Go. Go.
-Go! -One, two, three, go!
Fuck.
-Another one. -Cancel each other out.
Another one.
No, exactly the same time. Ready?
On 'go' or 'three'?
One, two, three and then go.
-So technically four. -(LAUGHS)
-One, two, three, four! -One, two, three, go!
(DICTAPHONE CLICKS)
Every now and then,
I have this real moment of, uh...of clarity.
Like, I have this understanding
and this, uh, opposite of anxiety
washes over me and I feel like I'm moving ahead somehow.
When you can see ahead and see the positive,
then when you do take two steps back
and you're in the negative,
then you know that...
..it's a possibility to...to feel good again.
It's just a nice reminder
that...that there's good things ahead,
there's good things coming,
and there's good things in the past,
and you just have to take them and build on them
and, um, rearrange them
to get where you wanna get in the future.
(INAUDIBLE)
I think the last album,
you can hear a lot of, um, like, tension in there,
a lot of kind of defensiveness and frustration and anger,
and I feel this album is a lot more kind of gentle
and, um, open,
and these songs focus on...love.
But not just love of a person,
but love of, like, being a loving person.
(STELLA LAUGHS)
Are you planning to see Georgia again
when you go through Sydney?
Yeah, when we go back through Sydney.
So a few weeks away, we'll see Blake and Hayley and Georgia.
-And, um... -Right, good.
I'll give them an extra... an extra hug for you both.
(CONTINUES CHATTING INDISTINCTLY)
COURTNEY: As someone once told me,
my albums won't be with me on my deathbed
holding my hand.
This film will not be with us
as we lie dying.
But I like to think in the bigger scheme of things,
it will live on and...
..help other people
or inspire other people
or create some sort of conversation...
..for some purpose.
(INAUDIBLE)
I think I've figured out that my eternal goal
is...to empower people who need empowering.
To communicate ideas and stories and emotions.
To give someone in the audience
the energy or the power...
(INAUDIBLE)
..to feel something.
To forget something.
To remember something.
To be inspired.
To feel happiness or to feel an emotion...
..that, um, allows them to transcend...
..life.
And, um...you know, helps them
in...in their journey.
COURTNEY AND AUDIENCE: ♪ If you've got a
♪ Spare half a million
♪ You could knock it down
♪ And start rebuilding
♪ If you've got a
♪ Spare half a million
♪ You could knock it down
♪ And start rebuilding. ♪
(SONG ENDS)
(INTRO TO 'WRITE A LIST OF THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO')
♪ Nobody knows
♪ While we keep trying
♪ And so
♪ On it goes
♪ I'm looking forward to the next
♪ Letter that I'm gonna get from you
♪ A baby is born
♪ As a man lay dying
♪ And so
♪ On it goes
♪ I'm looking forward to the next
♪ Letter that I'm gonna get from you
♪ Sit beside me
♪ Watch the world burn
♪ We'll never learn
♪ We don't deserve nice things
♪ And we'll scream self-righteously
♪ We did our best
♪ But what does that really mean?
♪ I'm walking around
♪ Walking around
♪ With my head down, my head down
♪ And I'm pushing away
♪ Pushing away
♪ Yeah, I'm pushing away, pushing away. ♪
Oh, God. Did I stop this or what? No.
Stop.
How do you... (LAUGHS)
I've forgotten how to use this thing.