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- These doors offer a new start, Molly.
From your first soldering iron,
to your crypto-mining rig, to your engineering degree,
your whole life has led to this moment.
- Why do you want to work at Safeword Venture Capital?
- I'm honored that you, Bill the Billionaire,
would even take the time to talk with me.
I mean, I just recently graduated from UC Berkeley, so the-
Cardi B.
- You're the top venture capital firm in Silicon Valley.
You just say Safeword, and doors open for you.
I mean, you're the lead investor in Theranos,
Juicero, WeWork, all these- - I know that.
But why do you wanna work here? Don't think, act.
- I'm- - Wait!
I'm so good at spotting talent.
Have you been to Burning Man?
- Burning Man? I don't know why that's relevant.
- Oh, tell me about your experience at Burning Man.
- Well, I've been twice.
I really wanted to go again this year,
but I couldn't because of just life stuff.
- Life stuff. Hm.
Hey, what do you think of this?
I had it commissioned when I was on keto.
I literally willed myself into having a perm.
What are your thoughts on mumble rap?
- Mumble rap?
You mean like Drake and Migos?
- Yes, like Drake and, mm, Migo.
- I don't know why that's relevant
to the role of junior associate.
- Oh, Molly, it is so relevant.
- I like them.
- Great. Me too.
You're hashtag hired. - What?
- Job comes with the usual benefits:
free massages, private chef,
oh, and we will pay off all your student debt
once you reach 90 days at the firm.
Pack your bags. We are headed to Burning Man.
We need you to assess whether or not we should invest
in a self-driving car startup.
- A self-driving car startup?
- Yeah, you can't commercialize a commune
without some shiny new toys.
There's a young Zuckerberg-type there.
We need to poach him before Elon.
- Musk? Give me four hours.
- No, no, no. No, no.
We have everything you need.
A pinata full of party favors, drugs,
so much glitter, lots of leather,
which was the favorite of my last assistant.
No need to pack. Be at Moffett Field in two hours.
- No, I can pack. I'll be ready.
- No, no. Molly, my jet will take us to Burning Man.
leave it all behind
in ways never known
where 70,000 call home
fake white Buddhists
got water for a week
reached its peak in '09
come to plug-in-play
- Welcome home. Welcome to Burning Man.
- Get the WiFi going.
I want it up and running
by the time I get back from the john.
I just did an 8 Ball and my bobo is like .
What up, playa, here comes a player!
Sparkle!
- No, not that one, not that one. Post that one.
- Oh, that one. - Mm-hm, yeah.
autonomous, autonomous
revolutionary technology
if you follow me
you a moveable feast
into hard-to-reach places
into burning flames
the ride of your life
transportation, automation
autonomous, autonomous
- Thank you.
Oh, my god. My whole life depends on having this running.
- Your life? Come on.
- This demo has to work.
I've been working on this car since undergrad.
I have a really important presentation tonight.
I mean, Bill invented the hashtag.
- He didn't invent the hashtag. It's the pound sign.
- I'm sorry, who are you?
- Hi, I'm, uh, Molly.
I'm Bill's newest associate.
I just started today at his venture capital firm,
and I am already at Burning Man.
I've no idea how I got here.
I thought I bombed that interview.
- Oh, hey, please don't tell Bill anything.
This is basically a new problem.
And I have to get out of the dorms at Stanford.
- Stanford?
Are you the software genius, self-driving car creator Joe?
Like, 30 under 30, TED Fellow,
Fast Company's Most Creative?
- I mean, I didn't do it by myself. My fraternity helped me.
- Ew. At Stanford?
- Yeah, at Stanford. We build things.
- I see.
I was gonna tell you how to fix your lidar system,
but I know you already know how to do that.
- Well, I mean, you know, just for conjecture.
- Molly!
This sexy little Nikola Tesla nugget
only has hours to prepare his speech.
Don't distract him. How's it going, Joe?
- Oh- - No pressure.
It's only gonna be me, you,
and the biggest names in Silicon Valley
under the tent tonight.
Nail this, and I will write you a blank check.
Ooh, I wanna see a demo now, Joe. But I can wait.
Ooh, but I wanna see it now. But I can wait.
But if you wanna keep tickling my balls, do it.
- Uh, no. - Tickle them, tickle them-
- No thank you. - Tickle them, tickle them.
Ah, that's what I like to hear, hashtag awesome!
Remember, at Camp Safeword,
we don't just have tech demos, we have fun.
What do you do?
Yoga? What is it?
- I just...
Nothing. - Oh, yeah, you're a juicer.
Speaking of which, our drugs were confiscated.
Bureau of Land Management is on high alert.
They're stopping every hippie bus from here to Gerlach.
I was promised Choco Tacos and some goddamned molly!
- I'm right here.
- No, I meant pure-grade MDMA...
Molls, could you get some of that?
- You're joking, there's-
- Does it look like I'm joking?!
We need these drugs
or else tonight's soiree is going to be a flop!
Camp Safeword, which I co-founded with Diddy,
hosts the most exclusive soiree at Burning Man.
I can hold on the Choco Tacos, but I need my drugs!
Why does everything always happen to me?! Why?
Okay. Okay, B.
Breathe, Bill.
Breathe. Breathe.
Practice the mindfulness exercises
you've been working on with Sandeep.
I'm the best, I'm the best! I'm hashtag blessed!
I'm the best.
I'm back.
Get me pure-grade MDMA, enough for the whole camp.
And, Joe, remember, this is your moment.
Hashtag don't fuck it up.
- Don't worry, I know how to fix
your lidar mount using parts that I've-
- Yeah, thanks, I got this.
- Mm.
Listen, you got a free ticket to Burning Man.
Be a Sparkle Pony, sow your wild oats,
milk a goat, I don't give a fuck.
Just get me my drugs.
You know why you got the job?
- Because of my degree from Berkeley
and hardware engineering expertise.
- Sure, you can tell yourself that.
I have great instincts.
You know your way around here.
You know where to find the drugs.
I checked out your Finsta. Really interesting content.
- You found my Finsta?
- Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, speaking of which,
I thought of this outfit for tonight's soiree.
Really fits the theme.
It was supposed to be for my last assistant,
who walked out yesterday,
but I think you can squeeze into it,
and you will look great.
Now remember, there is no "no" at Camp Safeword,
and your bonus and loan payments are at my discretion.
Mm?
Yeah. Mm.
That's my girl.
Bill is out.
spark, spark, Sparkle Pony
love My Little Pony
from the default world
actor in this play
spark, spark, Sparkle Pony
I'd look up to in life
wire in my dollhouse
he'd be so bothered
was really all about
out things with gear
actor in this play
spark, spark, Sparkle Pony
- I'm sorry about before.
I just...
Well, I'm sorry.
Wow, he really gave you
a leather Princess Leia bikini for a work event.
- It wouldn't be the most revealing thing I've ever worn.
- It's inappropriate.
- Yeah.
- God!
- Jesus! Didn't you cut the power?!
Well, now it is the most revealing thing I've ever worn.
Is that a self-actualizing thing?
I do that too.
That's not what I expected.
pray to Steve Jobs.
What?
Valley's against you
rut in a technical review
revolution is up to you
He didn't have to deal with sexual harassment.
- Steven Jobs was his own boss, he invented the Apple IIe,
and he saved the rainforest.
- He literally didn't.
- We can get you drugs,
and we can figure out what's wrong with my car.
- Your lidar rotational mount's burnt.
You just need to find a replacement motor.
But I know you already knew that.
- Right.
- Ahem.
- Oh, sorry.
Okay, I'm ready. All right, go.
that this world needs
through technology
that this world needs
through technology
- Okay.
I'm guessing from your lack of goggles,
this is your first Burn?
- Yeah.
- Stick with me.
The playa provides, but we're gonna have to get creative
if we wanna meet this deadline,
which means we'll have to go to my first hookup.
- These are fun.
- Hey, bruh, we got the WiFi going.
If you want to get the livestream going...
Yeah, all right. - Party people,
it's the place to be!
Welcome to Camp Polyamory!
touching all my sherwani
Uh, that's it.
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry.
- Skirt-skit?
Go over there and make us some drinks.
Yeah. Yeah.
- That's not the rotational mount I had in mind.
- Hey, Sparkle, welcome back.
Long time.
- I don't go by Sparkle Pony anymore.
- Wait. You know this guy?
Um, she's helping me with my autonomous vehicle.
- Who talks like that?
- Everyone, Sparkle, get with the program.
Chad, I need a favor.
- What is it? Anything for you.
- I need drugs. - Drugs!
- Okay. Some kinda sexual?
- Pure-grade MDMA or ecstasy. - Do you have Percocet?
Molly, Percocet?
No.
Okay, well, what are you gonna give me in return?
- That's not how Burning Man works.
- Okay.
- The gifting economy runs freely
when people give to each other without money-
- Okay. - Without bartering.
- Okay.
- Do you have the MDMA or not?
- Um.
Yeah, I do.
- Great.
- I was, like, starting to feel it before you came.
You said MDMA, right?
- You put it in the...
- Yeah. I made rolly margs!
Here.
It's for you.
You want? - I'm gonna go.
- No, no, wait!
There's gonna be party favors
at this event I'm DJing tonight.
And Choco Tacos.
I could probably, like, um...
I could, like, probably get you in.
- Bill's party?
- Yeah! Ah, that guy is dope!
He's, like, on the board of Burning Man.
The guy's a visionary.
They're gonna have some sorta investor meeting
before the event tonight.
Bill is going to automate Burning Man.
And his Burn is gonna be better than our Burn,
just like how Disney World is better than the real world.
- What? - How do you know Bill?
Did you get wristbands?
- Wristbands? - Yeah.
- He's my employer. I work for Safeword.
- And I'm presenting my- - Amaze-balls!
What? I am so, like, so proud of you.
This party's gonna be lit.
And I'm gonna be live streaming until the party gets rolly,
and then I'm gonna switch to my OnlyFans.
- It's not that kinda party, Chad.
- We can connect, you know, like old times.
I'm bringing Willow and Eve,
and, like, Steve.
- No.
- You okay?
- Yeah. It's kinda weird seeing it from the other side.
Is this what Burning Man's all about?
- That yogi was gonna call me.
- Molly, you camped with these people?
- Let me explain.
polyamory camp and met Chad
filled me with his love
sharing, and I mean sharing
autonomous, autonomous
consciousness, consciousness
- What's a shirt cocker?
- Mm. There.
- Oh. That's literal.
Just a shirt.
Oh, my god, that's huge.
Oh, my god, that's so big!
Molly what is that?!
- It's a dust storm.
Put your goggles on. We'll take shelter in that yurt.
What's a yurt?!
- Huh? Wait.
Molly?!
That was insane.
This isn't Sunnyvale anymore.
Is that a headless Barbie doll?
- I don't care.
- Welcome home.
take a load off.
- Oh. Thanks.
Could barely breathe out there.
Oh, smells interesting in here.
- Mm. You two cool with a gentle contact high?
- I'm from Cali. I think I can hang.
Wow, cool vibes.
This is what I used to imagine Burning Man was like.
How many Burns have you been to?
- Well, they say, well-aged and aged well, baby.
I was at the first Burn.
with Janis Joplin
a girl with Kerouac
with the Grateful Dead
I nearly lost my head
know what you're missing
these new age hippies
broths, and flying drones
spirit of Burning Man
just ain't the same
and self-expression
band together at all
better the year before
year's Burn was better
in a multi-colored bus
into the next life
this transformative change
and radically participate
without leaving a trace
better the year before
year's Burn was better
Yes?
- I'm confused.
Nostalgia makes us remember things as better in the past,
but technology is always improving.
- Mm, not necessarily true, my child.
I mean, I used to code on punch cards
when I was starting out.
- Exactly. - But that meant we had
to be exact and precise with our code,
whereas nowadays any kid can watch a YouTube video
and become a programmer.
- You used to code?
- I'd rather talk about human connection
than Viewstamped Replication.
- Oh, you used to code, code.
- Children, the song I sang has history in it.
But I, I wanna know about you two now.
I feel like I've been waiting for you.
- But you don't even know me.
- Oh. Well, I can fix that.
I'm Hazel.
Out here, they call me Hazel the Hippie.
Come on, sit down, children.
- Oh. Hi, I'm Joe.
Nice to meet you. But I have to get back to camp.
- There's a dust storm.
I'm Molly.
- Molly, pick three.
This won't take long.
What's your sign?
- Aquarius.
- Free spirit, just like me.
All right, let's see what the cards have to say.
Hm.
Ooh.
I see a domineering presence in your life
that's keeping you from your potential.
- My ex, my father, my new boss, the list goes on.
- You will rise up to take them down.
Or at least one of them.
Sorry, it's a little hazy.
You came here seeking something.
- Yeah. Replacement parts.
- And drugs. Pure-grade MDMA.
There's this invite-only soiree tonight,
investor pitch thing.
- I see. It's not Bill's, is it?
- Do the cards say that?
- Nah, I got the Evite weeks ago. Interesting.
Right.
The sign of your rising
will be when the sheep baas three times.
- Baas?
- Cards say, "Sheep baas three times."
Clairvoyancy works in mysterious ways.
Either you're born with it
or, like me, you get multiple online degrees
in astrology to master it.
Molly!
- Chad, did you follow me here?
- Yeah, I tried to,
but there was a dust storm, and I'm still rolling,
and there was this shirt cocker.
- What do you want?
- Well, I thought you were coming to the cuddle puddle.
I thought we really had something special, you know?
You, me, Willow, Eve-
- Stop.
- Hey, what about our poly contract, huh?
They have contracts?
- Get everything in writing in a joint venture.
- The contract is over.
I want this experience to be more than just drugs and tango.
- Fair point.
Fair point.
But I thought you liked the dom contract, you know?
You know I'd sub for you any day-
- That was a phase.
I've grown. I won't say up but out.
And maybe you should too.
Come on, Joe, let's go find these drugs.
It was really nice meeting you.
- Thank you. - Mm-hm.
Hoo, earth child, you got a lot of work to do.
- I really like Molly, and Willow, and Eve, and Steve.
- I can see that, baby.
And it's okay. Hazel's gonna take care of you.
You see, your self is like a labyrinth.
You need to take off the mask, journey inward,
and shed your former self.
- Are you trying to seduce me?
- Hm? - 'Cause Chad's down.
- Wait, what?
- Unpeel me, Hazel.
- Ho! Wait, slow your roll, baby.
Slow your roll.
Listen to me, when I ask you,
"Who is Chad?" what do you say?
- Um, well, I'm a badass, former Vine star,
soon-to-be celebrity DJ
with tens of thousands of followers on social media.
Church! - No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
Those are just labels from the default world.
I'm gonna ask you again, who is Chad?
- Chadwick Edmund Wikowski?
I don't know. - All right, all right, baby.
Come here, sit down. Come down here.
Come down here. - Okay.
- Let's go. Unlock your chakras.
- I love everyone and everything.
And I just wanna spread my love, like Prince.
- Yes, yes, and the universe is ready
for you to spread your love.
But first, you need to learn to treat everyone as equals,
starting with yourself.
Okay.
I've learned a lot of life lessons
by taking heavy hallucinogens.
I happen to have a special tea that might help.
- Oh, I keep it one hun.
- Yeah, I don't know what that means,
but I think it's a yes?
- Oh, for sure, yeah.
- Oh, okay.
There's DMT in this cup.
It's fast-acting, derived from ayahuasca.
I brewed it from the leaves of a caapi vine
gifted to me by an Urarina shaman.
It ain't your average tea.
- I think I heard about this on the Joe Rogan podcast.
I think I'm in the right place to try it.
- Be sure.
Once sipped, some don't go back to their former selves.
I will watch over you, my child.
- Oh, holy Hyphy Movement.
Teach me, oracle.
- You're here to teach yourself.
Buckle up, baby, you are flying inward.
Release your chi and drink your tea.
- Ooh. Whoa.
I'm tripping balls.
- Surprising themed.
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
- It looks good on your face.
- Ooh, unleash your spirit!
Ooh, let your juices flow!
Unclench your sphincter!
- Yeah, I don't think they'll have
the motor we're looking for.
- The drugs either.
- Release those harmful toxins, those chem trails,
the fluorides poisoning our waters.
Waters.
- Do you know what toxins are being fed to the whales?
- The whales. - Release those harmful
injections and let your juices flow.
Ooh.
- Yo, bro! Stop by the Spring Break Bro Camp!
We're doing Picklebacks to Nickelback!
Spin the wheel, get spanked.
Yes! That means you get spanked.
Bend over.
- What? All right.
Oh.
Oh, that was nice.
- Hey, it's not Picklebacks.
It's Fireball. Fireball!
You know, it's half the calories of a Jagerbomb.
We're about radical self-expression here.
- Then how come you all dress
and look the same?
- Heh! Good one, bro.
Now open up.
- Oh, yeah, this is what we drink at the frat.
- You're, what, like, 25, and you still live on campus?
Uh, it's graduate housing at Stanford.
- Mm, at Stanford?
- Yeah, at Stanford. - Hey, I got a joke for you.
How do you know that someone went to Stanford?
They tell you within the first 90 seconds of meeting them,
which is literally what you told me
in the first 90 seconds of me meeting you,
that you went to Stanford.
Hi!
- Hi. What brings you to this side of the dusty playa?
- I'm looking to score some pure-grade MDMA.
- Mm, mm-hm.
Shrooms, uppers, downers,
Special K, Children's Tylenol.
Looks like our medicine cabinet is all out of supplies.
I'm gonna have to send you to Thunderhome.
- Oh, thank you.
- If you're ever in the neighborhood again,
come by for a spanking.
- Ooh. - We will.
Thanks.
- Welcome to the Thunderhome!
Two people may enter, one may win,
unless, unless you have, you know, like, four people,
and then as a tag team, that's two-on-two,
so you have four people that enter,
and then that means two may win.
But if you wanna add one more person to that,
so that means it's, like, six people that enter,
so that means it's a three-on-three, right?
So that means six people enter,
and then three people may win,
but with that, with the three people,
that could be every man for himself,
so essentially, one person is the winner.
Right. All right, look at the sign.
Don't bitch. Have a good one.
- Hazel, hi. What are you doing here?
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
This camp?
This is about immediacy and participation.
There are no spectators here.
- Okay.
Mm-hm.
What's happening?
I don't know what just happened.
- Hey, it turns out we have a hundred tabs
of ecstasy in our camp.
Take these. We're supposed to be a clean and sober camp.
- Thank you!
The playa provides.
- Yeah. Come on.
Hazel, what is this?
- This, oh, this is the heart and soul of Burning Man.
This coming together in community,
each individual championing
their own radical self-expression,
while honoring the same in others.
This, this Burning Man experiment,
this is the human experience uncorked
and poured out onto the desert for one week every year.
It's our greatest intention
and our highest creative expression made manifest.
in embracing warmth
brighter than everything
I'm up here for Camp Safeword.
- Fuck, fuck, fuck my fucking...
Holy Ghost of Steve Jobs.
Molly, where've you been? We've been looking for you.
- Oh.
- There's something different about you.
I don't like it.
Walk with me.
Joe, let me give you a little piece of advice.
When I was a young man, much like yourself,
well, not quite like you,
Steve Jobs cornered me in an elevator.
He smelled of cedar and power,
and he said, "Bill, don't fuck it up."
That was the best career advice I have ever received,
and I'm passing it along to you,
much like herpes but better.
- It's okay, a lot of people have it-
- Joe, go work on the tech demo.
Mm.
Molly, this is molly.
I asked you to get mushrooms!
I don't want my investors humping each other,
I want their minds blown by my speech!
- You said ecstasy.
- I didn't ask for molly, Molly.
I have one of the great memories of all time.
Are you calling me a liar?
- No.
- I ask you to do one thing, go mushroom shopping,
and you, you fuck it up.
Do you have any idea what this makes me look like?
I went to all this effort to create an-
- In the spirit of Burning Man, like-
- Don't interrupt me!
"The spirit of Burning Man?"
This place is garbage!
I mean, it is literally surrounded by a trash fence!
I got on the board to terraform this place
into something valuable,
and not just porta potties surrounded by stacks of sticks
and tents from Walmart, and cuddle puddles,
and puppy piles, and furries,
and some kinda weird human centipede sex act,
I still don't understand it,
and this, what the fuckity fuck is this?
Gee golly, Miss Molly doesn't know the difference
between pills and shrooms.
I'm about to drop the most earth-shattering talk
on the motherfucking playa!
what have you heard
welcome to the new Burn
down, burn and pillage
b-b-b-Burning Village
I'm amazing.
Here's what we're gonna do.
Investors will be here soon.
We'll put these into the swag bags for the Gen Z-ers.
They eat laundry pods for Christ's sakes,
they won't even know what this is.
- I don't think that that's a good idea.
- Well, I'm not paying you to think,
I am paying you for the leather bikini,
which I don't see you wearing.
- It's inappropriate.
I'm a junior associate at your firm.
- "I'm a junior associate at your," okay?
- It's inappropriate.
- Molly. - And I'm not wearing it.
- Molly.
Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly.
You pretend to be new at this, but I know you're not.
You are, oh, what's the word, experienced at Burning Man.
I know you've worn next to nothing.
I know you've done hardcore drugs.
I know you've been part of the poly camp with my DJ.
This is not an outside ask.
- How did you find that out? - Safeword Venture Capital
is the world-leading venture capital firm,
investing in the tech of the further future.
- Doesn't make any sense.
- We vet our hires through every means possible
to ensure the content of their character reflects
the ethics of our institution.
Oh.
Mm.
Sweet cheeks.
Get the leather on.
Or you can be replaced like...
Investors will be here in 60, mm, 59 minutes.
Remember, life stuff.
this preposterous place
spark, spark, Sparkle Pony
- Molly!
Molly! I'm looking for Molly!
- I got molly.
- What do you know about Molly?
- Everybody know about molly.
You're not a cop, are you?
- I need Molly - Ooh, cha!
- Huh? - You need an Ambien.
- No, oh,
not that kinda molly.
Sparkle Pony.
What?
- Sparkle?
Oh. Oh, are you in there?
Go away, Chad.
- Oh, I was just hoping that we could talk.
Can it wait until tomorrow?
- Well, I was really- - Or never?
- Well, I was really hoping that I could possibly-
- What do you want, Chad?
- Huh? - Are you here to rub
my choices in my face like everyone else?
- You okay?
- Yes.
- You're lying.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
Are you okay? - Do I look okay?
- Well, it's kinda...
I can't really tell. It's, like, super bright out here.
- Wait, did you really just ask me how I'm feeling?
- Yeah. Seemed like you are not okay.
Oh, is there anything I can do?
- Okay, what is this really about?
- What? No, no, no.
I just wanted to- - Tango?
- No, I'm actually looking for an aux cable for my phone,
for this thing I'm doing later.
Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry.
Um, you know, I want all this freedom to spread my love,
but I'm selfish with my love.
And I'm seeing all these people.
I'm with them, and I feel like
I don't communicate with any of them, so...
And I feel different now.
Hazel really took off some layers.
No, no, not like that. Ew, Molly.
But she went inside me.
And she took me to a place
I haven't been in a really long time.
And for a few hours, it seemed like I was, like, a dolphin.
It's a lot to unpack.
But I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
- I have spent my entire life taking care of other people.
Today, I've decided that I'm going
to take care of myself first.
- Oh, yeah.
- I support you, but that's some work
you're gonna have to do on your own.
Mm. Mm.
- I gotta go to this party. - No, no, yeah, you should go.
But I just really wanted to give you this.
- Why?
- What? - Why?
- Well, actually, it's like a symbol
of how everything is so crazy here,
but it can all come together and mesh.
They blend together-
- You're still coming down. - Yeah, I know.
I'm definitely still- - It's fine, I'll take it.
- I just want you to have it. - Thank you.
- Molly! Molly.
- Molly?! I have molly!
Geez. Okay, fuck your Burn too.
- Molly, I need your help.
I still have some pieces
that I have to find for the lidar mount,
and their thing is in, like, 30 minutes.
- Ooh! I gotta get a plug for my thing.
No, not that kinda plug, but maybe.
But also an aux cable.
- Wait, Chad, your blender.
Couldn't be that simple.
The playa provides.
pray to Steve Jobs
Valley's against you
rut of a technical review
revolution is up to you
would Steve, no, AOC do
do, do, do, do do do
that this world needs
through technology
that this world needs
through technology
Oh! Ooh, the anti-collision system works.
- Yeah, it could use some calibration.
- What are the sheeple doing here?
Baa, our sign will be
when the sheep baas three times.
- Hazel, what are you doing here?
- Shepherding the flock, my star child.
We're protesting your boss.
- Bill's investor party?
- No, his Burning Village.
Turns out, the federal government is selling land out west,
and Bill is the highest bidder for Black Rock Desert.
I fear what will happen to this place if he takes over.
- What? - You didn't know?
- No. - Bill's plans for
"a tastefully curated living experience"
will literally destroy Burning Man as we know it.
- The One Percent will fly in on their private jets
to experience this Burning Man Lite.
He'll raise ticket prices to unsustainable levels,
which is not what Burning Man was founded on.
- We have to do something.
- His presentation starts any minute now!
If he gets funded, we get punted!
- Don't let Bill privatize the desert!
Keep the Libertarians out of our utopia!
- End unnecessary male circumcision!
- No, baby, not that.
- Yes, they're being sheeple, baby!
It's culture jamming,
just like we used to do with the Cacophony Society!
- Baa!
Baa! Baa!
- Joe, take the car! I have an idea.
Hazel, I think I have something to say.
- The playa provides, baby.
- My fellow sheeple, right now,
influencers and tech CEOs are deciding
the fate of this place.
We are fighting for our right to be who we are
in a world that doesn't think that we belong.
- Baa! - We are here to save
the playa before they fleece us out
of the place that what we love!
- You better believe! - We are not gonna baa
into the good night and have our dreams deferred
by culture vultures stealing what we create!
They have already gentrified my hometown of Oakland,
but I gotta draw the line somewhere.
And for me, today, that line is here,
so who's coming with me?!
And there will be drugs and booze there!
- Yes, man.
- Hey. Hey.
The fuck are you doing?
This is the third time you've played that song.
- Oh, little JoJo Siwa wants me to play it over and over
till she gets the timing right for her TikTok.
- No, that's good. Keep doing that.
- Yeah.
It's weird seeing this from the other side.
- Hey, I don't know what your problem is,
but you need to stop fucking me and start fucking yourself.
I am paying you in massive exposure.
Now, I'm about to make my entrance,
drop that motherfucking bass.
- Hey, party people!
Are y'all ready right meow?!
I'm about to drop this bass like a self-exploratory trip
that makes you question the societal norms
you've been saddled with your whole lives, okay?!
So dance, but have a good time!
- Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
BillConnect!
Whazzup?!
We are changing the future!
Everybody, property developers,
developers, developers, developers,
developers, developers! - Developers, developers.
- Ah.
Hey. Hey, I see you, Gwyneth Paltrow.
I got your candle. Really does smell like, mm-hm.
And, Oprah?! You get a yurt!
And you get a yurt! And you get a yurt!
Oh, is that Ja Rule?! Hey, hey, loved your festival.
Totally believable...
Tiger King.
You're still relevant?
That doesn't matter.
Thanks so much for coming to the soiree!
Hey, hey, hey, hey, I'm so high,
hey, welcome to BillConnect,
or, or b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-BillCON!
You know me, self-made billionaire,
tech investor, entrepreneur, playboy, zaddy.
Yes, Billionaire is my legal last name.
Tonight is not about me, no!
No. No, no, no, no.
Tonight is about the future, future, future,
future, future, future, future.
We're taking the best parts of Burning Man,
and curating them just for you,
without all the hippies, and furries, and moopers.
We will use automation
to create the tax-free Libertarian utopia
we've all been dreaming of.
We can recruit the top programmers
in the world and fly them here.
They can build and create,
unfettered by laws and pesky regulations and, mm, ethics.
Let us open a free trade of ideas,
and create the automated city of the future
that I'm calling, wait for it,
b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-Burning Village!
to its rightful owners
b-b-b-bitch, move over
And for tonight's keynote address,
we wanna introduce a bright, supple, young mind
that we here at Safeword are hoping to get into bed with,
and not just missionary.
We want all the kinks. We love his ideas!
We wanna get inside him, and we hope you will too.
Allow me to introduce Joe and his aCar!
- Ahem.
Ahem.
They say the wheel can't be reinvented,
but I would argue against it.
Um, I'm offering a revolutionary
technology that's- - Yes.
That's so revolutionary. It's amazing.
All right, here you go, champ. Keep going.
Eye on the prize. Come on.
- What?
Um, or how about the aCar to cut jobs
and modernize your shipping infrastructure,
um, stop jobs from going overseas,
compete with the Chinese?
Um, I've got a revolutionary technology
that's better than them all combined.
Um, we can revolutionize, mobilize,
and privatize Burning Man.
And these hippies stans will never see it coming.
Um, think outside the road
and get ready for the ride of your life.
We've reinvented transportation, automation,
intelli-humanoidal collaboration, and I'm calling it,
I'm calling it...
I'm not calling it anything.
I can't do this.
Sorry. Sorry.
Um, fuck you.
- Yeah, fuck...
Fuck me? Joe, what do you think you're doing?
- Look, I built this car to help people,
not for rich people to joyride in.
I know I came here to pitch my tech,
but I didn't build this car for you, I built it for them!
No, not them. Like, they're outside.
I know I'm supposed to say something really profound here,
but I'm still processing it.
Molly, do you-
- I sure can. Baa!
- Baa! - Oh, god, what is this,
a flash mob?!
- Silence!
- These Burners are expressing
their civic responsibility and participation,
key principles of Burning Man that you've thrown
under the bus with your Burning Village.
- No, no, no, no, no.
This woman is pulling the wool over your eyes.
- That's not funny, that's wack.
- Molly, you got me the wrong drugs,
you started this crappy dinner theater,
and you're still not in your bikini.
- It burned.
- Yes! Free the nipple!
That is not what I meant.
Well, then what you meant.
- Okay. Bill, your toxic masculinity is exhausting me.
Get a coloring book and a therapist, okay?
Burning Man is not a playground for the One Percent!
- Take that shit to Coachella.
Do you have any idea of what
you're making me look like?
Yourself.
- I'm warning you, I will- - If you wanna fire me,
go ahead.
What happens in the default world
has no effect on me here on the playa.
I'm home. I've found my strength here.
I'm confident.
I am here now.
out things with gears
the actor in this play
- Yeah, the kids are here now, William.
Oh, and the new age is leaving you behind.
- I don't know where you get off, Hazel.
You're part of the One Percent!
- What?
- Oh, Bill.
Yes, it's true, children.
Out here, I'm known as Hazel the Hippie,
but in the default world, I go by Shirley Booth Werner.
The inventor of the clamshell laptop.
- Now, I may be wealthy in the default world,
but I live the principles of Burning Man year-round.
I'm an angel investor.
I fund small startups and nonprofits
that work to improve the human experience.
the minute you get out of
any kind of contract with this bozo, you give me a call.
Yes, tech goddess. - No, no, no, no, no, no!
BillConnect is my party; this will be my desert!
- Bill, you cannot throw an exclusive party
when Burning Man is about radical inclusion.
- Can't you see that I'm the victim here?
No one in history has been treated-
I'm the best, I'm the best!
I'm hashtag blessed! - Oh, that's enough, Bill!
I mean, I was a dolphin a couple hours ago
and I think we all agree with Hazel, you're a clown.
- Good one, Bill.
- Okay. - Excellent.
- Chad, drop the bass.
And let's turn this into a dance party!
- Yes!
Hey, you're a real leader.
I think I can see a place for you in my firm.
- I really appreciate the work that you do,
but out here on the playa,
I'm free and I do not wanna talk about business.
- I gotcha.
- But let's have coffee, and not tea,
in the real world.
- That sounds good to me, Molly.
- You can call me Sparkle. Sparkle Pony.
- Ooh, all right, Sparkle Pony.
- Let's do it. - Let's walk this way.
better than the year before
autonomous, autonomous
really made a spark
but came out on top
than the year before
autonomous, autonomous
- Oh, I'm still going?
Yeah.
Drink your tea.
- Down the hatch.
So hot.
- That's it.
Just a little bit more.
- It's so horrible.
Oh, is it? It's all right.
It'll be worth it in the end,
I promise. - And it tastes terrible.
- It's all right.
Oh, get- - Okay.
Here we go. - Get...
- Down the hatch. - Oh.
- Last bit. - Mm.
- There's actually still more.
- Okay. - Okay, here we go.
It's a deep cup.
Okay, I could pour less next time.
- No, no. - That's all right.
Oh, I'm tripping balls.
- Fuck you.
Fuck me?
What do you think you're doing, Joe?
- I- - Say it.
No, say it. - I hate you so much.
- Why? - 'Cause you remind me-
- Of your father. - Of my father.
Huh? - Bend over.
- Oh, I broke your fan.
But that felt good.
- Good one, bro.
That means you get spanked!
Bend over.
- Oh.
Well...
- Jagerbomb.
We're all about radical self-expression here.
Yes! That means you get spanked.
Bend over.
Yes!
- It's all right. There's another one.
- Michael! - Sorry, guys.
I'm really not winning today.
do, do, do, do do do
- Turn it on.
Beautiful.
that this world needs
through technology
that this world needs
through technology
Beautiful.
Now, I've sat here and listened
to this entire thing,
and a couple hours ago, I was a dolphin,
but I can still tell that I think you are a very mean
or rude and ugly person.
- I'm not ugly.
I think there is a place for you in my firm.
I really appreciate the work that you do,
but I am free on the playa,
and I do not wanna talk about business.
- Gotcha. - Me?
Hey, Joe, what do you think you're doing?
- Oh, I'm not doing the speech.
I think I'm gonna go to, I don't know,
massage therapy school or something.
There's one in Costa Rica. It's, like, really good.
- Why would you go to Costa Rica?
- Bye.
Joe, what do you think you're doing here?
- Well, I built this car for poor people.
I built this car for poor people.
What do you think you're doing?
- I don't wanna do this anymore.
- And Steve.
- No.
- Okay, I'm leaving, but on my own accord.
I'm choosing to go. You cannot kick me out of BillCON.
I invented the hashtag.
- Bill, bye.
Bye-bye.
Goodbye.