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They were left in cardboard boxes,
found near a bridge or on the sidewalk.
There used to be so many of them. More than 30 of them in a shift.
We nannies had different tasks.
Some fed the babies milk. Some did the laundry.
I looked after the babies.
I remember many of them.
These babies… I brought them up.
I held them in my arms and fed them slowly,
as if they were my own children.
My heart ached whenever I sent a baby away.
They'd be sent so far away.
What was to become of them?
Hello, welcome to Sonic. May I take your order?
What sauce would you like?
Your total is $8.75. Have a nice day.
We have $50 bills? What?
No! Like, I've never really seen one before.
Yeah.
-Hello, how are you? -I'm good.
Here's your medium, unsweetened tea. Have a wonderful day.
Hello!
-Hey, how was work? -It was good.
-Did you eat? -Yeah, I ate mozzarella sticks.
-Is that all? -Yeah.
Oh, boy. Oh, boy, it's starting. Here we go.
Danielle Bates.
Lily Catherine Bolka.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the class of 2018.
-Graduates, move your tassels!
One… two… You're good!
Hi.
-Hi, Mom. -Hello, honey.
-Are you gonna cry? -Yep.
-Why are you crying? -'Cause I'm so proud of you.
So many have said to us, "Lucky girl."
Maybe.
Who am I to say?
You came to us open and ready to be loved.
We were lucky.
You easily laughed and trusted.
We are the lucky ones.
No one really knows what goes on in that matching room in China.
But as your Hebrew middle name says,
"My God has answered… answered my prayers."
From the moment I held you,
I've felt like the luckiest woman in the world.
When she said that, it made me think of, like, my other mom
and like… if she was here, or…
how life would be different if I grew up with her.
And what it would be like to be in a different family.
I kind of want to get to know, like, more of my Chinese side.
I wanna learn, like, Mandarin,
and I want to go to China and see all the places and stuff.
It all started…
I think I was in 7th grade,
and, um, my dad was like, "Oh, there's this website called 23andMe."
"And you, like, spit into a tube."
-It's like a science experiment. -Mm-hmm.
We did 23andMe because at the doctor's office,
we cross out that entire section of family-related health issues.
I invited Chloe, probably, 20 times to go to Chinese dance.
-No interest.
But when we found out
that she had a cousin,
a blood cousin,
living in Tennessee, who was roughly around her age--
-That she was interested in. -She was interested.
That and the fact that she was related to Yo-Yo Ma distantly.
Yeah!
And that's how I found Sadie.
We've been Snapchatting for the last few months.
-Hey! -Hi!
I think I was really surprised.
There are so many people in this world, and to be connected to, like, Sadie
was just shocking to me.
I just… I love animals. They're adorable.
-Yeah, I so want a puppy. -Puppy works.
I always go through these phases, like wanting a puppy or a…
like, I don't know, bird.
A hedgehog.
Like… But I always want them to be like, my little, like,
-sidekicks or whatever, like…
But it never works out, so…
Why didn't you tell me about any of these cousins?
I think I have, and you haven't listened, but…
Okay, here's Lily.
Oh, you have eight relatives in common too.
Oh!
Dear Lily, my name is Sadie.
I live… in Tennessee,
and I was adopted
in the Guangdong Province.
Uh, here's how you spell that.
Should I send?
Go ahead and send it.
I only thought I had Chloe.
-Hi! -Hey!
Oh, my God! I can't believe I'm finally meeting you.
I know, this is so cool.
-I like your necklace. -Thank you!
I literally just keep all my necklaces on me, like, at all times.
Like, I never take them off. Yeah, and so…
-Show me the pictures. -Okay.
Your new cousins. Not your old cousins.
Okay, that's Sadie. Do we look alike?
Mm-hmm.
-A little bit, maybe. -Maybe?
I see some resemblance there, I think.
I decided to do a DNA test
'cause I wanted to find more about who I am and my past.
When I heard from Sadie,
it opened up new ideas to, like…
About, like, our adoption.
Is this working?
-Got it. -Oh, hey!
-Hi!
-Hey!
Oh my God, this is so cool.
I've never done, like, Google Hangout like this.
So, how are your lives going?
I'm looking forward to Friday.
It's been, like, the longest week,
and I don't like it.
Don't worry, I was struggling too. I feel like we're all tired.
I've also thought about, "Okay, where do I begin with my life story?"
-I guess we could start really, beginning… -Yeah.
Yeah, we were all in an orphanage in the southern part of China.
I guess it's, like, Guangzhao, I guess in that area, maybe.
-Guangzhou. Yes. -Oh!
Wait, we were from the same orphanage?
Yes, Chloe, you and I were.
Yeah, it's kinda cool. It's not "kinda," it's pretty cool.
-Yeah.
You know, though, I thought about it, like, in the past,
like, why they might have abandoned me.
And I just kind of thought it was because of that one-child rule in China.
Yeah.
I feel like I don't really, like,
truly know the reason. Like, that's just what they assume.
Oh, yeah.
So, that'd be your great-great-grandfather.
That's Uncle Sam. Must be when he joined the military.
We've put flowers on his grave.
That's a picture of your great-grandmother when she was a baby.
She came from Ireland. I've got a quilt she made in 1840.
That's cool.
James Franklin.
He would have been a great-great-great grandfather.
On my dad's side, we can go back to almost 900.
Um, Mom's side,
eh, it's more spread out and varied,
but we have it back to around 1600, I think.
Then this'd be Anna Fulton, the one who died from tuberculosis.
I don't necessarily feel connected to them.
I know that's part of my family, but technically they have no ties to me.
That's my mom and my aunt.
The orphanage told my mom that I was left in a box
near a busy street.
I imagined it being really early in the morning.
Someone found me and took me to the orphanage.
Sometimes, I'm like, "Whoa, they're out there."
"Like, I might have, like, siblings out there."
It's kind of weird to think, like, how different my life would be.
When Sadie was probably two or three years old,
I decided that I'm gonna do the DNA on her.
I wanted to find her biological family
because I want her to at least have the opportunity to know her history.
But it didn't happen.
Sadie… I think she struggles sometimes between, "I want to know all this"
and "I just want to be a typical teenager."
Uh, may I try the goat cheese with red cherries?
Yeah, I feel like being adopted isn't my identity.
Just like your middle name, not that many people know about it,
but it's there.
You were holding your phone up…
Can you speak Chinese?
I mean, you used to live there.
What origins are you? Like, what's your…
-I'm Hispanic.
-I lived in Ecuador for, like, two years. -Do you speak Spanish?
So, a friend's dad, he's Chinese.
He comes up to me and starts speaking to me in Chinese.
I'm like, "Sorry, I don't know Chinese."
And he just looked so disappointed and walked away from me.
He completely stopped talking to me. I was like, "Nice to meet you too."
We did for the first…
I honestly don't feel Chinese.
So many of my friends call me a "banana." They're like, "Sadie, you act so white."
"Like, you are, like, the whitest Chinese person I've ever met."
I don't know.
I've just always identified myself as an American.
Hello, and welcome to the 8th grade Hebrew play!
I think Chloe appreciates her Jewish education,
but she's had enough.
She made clear that she was not going to a Jewish school henceforth.
We're moving to Phoenix next month,
and I'm going to attend high school.
I wanted the school to have Mandarin.
I don't think I had any other requirements, really.
I've gone to Jewish Day School for, I don't know, 9 years or something.
I had a theology class and today she was like, "Do you believe in God?"
Raise your hands, who believes in God.
And I didn't raise my hand.
Yeah, I get that. That's hard.
I've always gone to church and stuff,
but lately, I've just kind of lost touch with, uh, like, faith in God.
I think I believe in Him though,
but I mean, there's always just that uncertain doubt in the back of my mind.
I do believe in God,
because, like, I've been surrounded by people that love and support me.
So, like, I think, like, you can see God through, like, other people.
I feel like I'm still just trying to find out who I am.
-Nĭ hăo! -Nĭ hăo!
-Okay, let's… Are you ready? -Yeah.
I hadn't really thought about it much,
that I was, like, one of the only Asians in the communities I had been in.
How do you say, "She's gone shopping"?
But, as I grew,
I just realized there was, like, more in the world, I guess,
and I just wanted to find more people
that I could relate to and that looked like me.
When you're little, like, you grow up in, like, your perfect little bubble.
You grow up around all these, like, white people, and like,
it's just… who you think you are.
And then, like, you realize you're different.
A close friend of mine… We were really close.
It was middle school. I was the only Asian kid.
And she said that, like, some very hurtful things about, like…
About, like…
like, my birth parents maybe not wanting me,
and that's why they gave me up.
I just wasn't expecting it,
and it was just too much.
Repeat after me, please.
If you look over here, like, all my medals are over here
in like, basketball and volleyball.
My grade voted me, my senior year,
to, like, represent, like, my senior class as, like, the senior attendant.
And, like, so like, it has, like, my name on the back.
I have applied to OU, OSU, UCO, and Creighton.
I already heard from OSU. It's…
So, I can't go out of state my first year because of my jaw surgery.
I'm getting jaw surgery in June,
and they're going to crack my jaw and like, push it back.
I think the transformation will be weird
'cause I feel like I won't look like myself.
But like, also, like… it is me.
Bless us, O Lord, in these, Thy gifts, which we are about to receive
from Thy bounty, through Christ our Lord. Amen!
I am an only child to a single mother
with a big Catholic family,
and I have 15 first cousins.
My mom lived in various places, New York, Nicaragua, Connecticut…
but when I was one,
she moved in with my grandparents, to help raise me.
I didn't forget that.
That was for you.
Some people ask me, "When did you find out you were adopted?"
Like, "When was the big reveal?"
It was never a reveal.
My mom, when I was younger, she always had these books.
So she would, like, read me books all, like, the time.
Yeah, here's one, When You Were Born in China,
that I loved when I was little,
and I'd even be like, "Mom, can you re-read that, like, again?" So…
-Hi, honey. -Hi.
We gotta go.
-Okay? -Okay, let's go.
It's genetic.
Thank you.
What the doctors have said is, you had a mom and a dad that got together.
And somebody had a short jaw, and somebody had a long jaw.
And that's just kind of… the way it goes.
Aunt Laurie and Uncle Mike are coming too.
-Uncle Mike won't come until after work. -Okay.
My jaw was an insecurity I had,
but also, it's who I am.
It's like, part of what-- It's what my birth parents, like--
You know, it's what I got from them.
I have a lot of questions about my life in China when I was little.
Lily?
I mean, 13 months doesn't sound like a lot, but it's kinda--
It's… It's--
To me, it's kind of, like, a lot. Like…
It's definitely, like, a big part of, like…
It's just, like, kind of like a mystery. Like, I feel like I'll never know.
My mom, she's my rock.
I don't want my mom to kind of feel like I don't love her 'cause I do.
Goodbye, sweetie.
We'll take excellent care of her, you guys. Thank you.
I don't want to die where I don't know who my birth parents are.
I've been told I, like, look older with the new face.
I went to the pool for work,
and like, a lot of my friends work there as lifeguards.
They knew it was me, but they, like, weren't sure.
Hi. Can I get a three-finger combo with a Dr. Pepper?
Look. Before and after.
Ew, I hate that one.
Just kind of growing up, if I think about it, if there's resemblances…
I kind of get your struggle.
'Cause, you know how everyone's like,
"Oh, don't you resemble someone in your family?"
And it's like, "My family's white, honey."
Mmm, yeah.
Would you want to meet your birth family or look for them? I would not.
I think that'd be so freaky.
I… I don't know.
I think it would be nice to, like, know who our real parents are
and, like, visit our hometown and see where we're from.
I think it would be nice to know the whole reason for everything.
That's so true.
Whatcha got?
Let's see.
It's a history and travel group.
Sounds very similar to the Chinese version of the ancestry tours
that girls are going on.
So they just immerse you in…
Yeah, you go and learn about the culture and go back to your village.
And, like, I think they help you find your birth parents.
-Mm-hmm. -So what do you think about that?
There's pros and cons to the whole thing.
But either way, like, there's gonna be, like, a lot of emotions towards it.
Yeah.
I am talking to…
Was it her?
"Liu Hao is a native of Western Guangdong Province
and speaks Hakka, Cantonese, Mandarin and English."
"Between flipping through centuries-old zupus
for clues and tracking down elusive ancestors,
Liu Hao likes to meditate, read novels, and watch high-stake thrillers."
So, tonight, you're gonna talk to her?
-Yep. -Hello?
-Hello. -Hello.
Yes, I can hear you.
-Yes, hi. Oh, you're beautiful. -Hi!
Oh, thanks.
It means a lot to me.
You are the first girl
I know that came from the same place like me.
From my hometown.
Oh, that's your ancestral place?
Yeah. Exactly.
-Exactly. -That's cool.
Let's start with our research goals.
You want to find your biological parents,
and another goal is,
we want to locate those individuals that appeared in your early life,
like the nanny who took you to Guangzhao.
Yeah.
The chances to end up finding the biological parents
is very, very small.
Do you think the chances are slim because, like,
the parents are, like, afraid to, like… step up?
'Cause, like they're-- Will they get in trouble?
I think they don't want get in trouble,
but, you know, emotionally-- Not--
The truth is always painful because, you know,
the parents who forced to,
um, give up their children, maybe, just feel shame.
What do you want to see,
or where do you want to hang out?
I wouldn't mind going back to my orphanage.
Did the lady ask you what you wanted to do and stuff?
Pandas. I want to be with, like, pandas.
Oh, yeah! Do you think we could pet a panda, maybe?
We're more interested in being "tourists" in China
and learning the culture, learning the food.
I don't really, like, want to find my birth parents, so…
But would you want to meet the ladies who helped take care of you?
In the orphanage?
Yeah, that seems cool.
We were gonna do this trip to China on our own,
but then the idea of doing it with Lily and Sadie,
for me, it made the potential difficult parts of the trip
much more doable.
I'm taking Mandarin over the summer, so I don't totally suck.
Nice. I should probably learn Mandarin, since we're going to China.
Do you guys have any special places where you want to go?
I… I want to visit the Great Wall of China.
I'm… I'm pretty sure we're definitely doing that.
I'm helping Lily to look for her birth parents.
Do you also want me to help you to do that?
Yeah.
I love this job.
I believe looking for one's lost history is important.
When you know your family history, when you know where you come from,
you can find the peace in your heart.
I grew up in a small town in Guangdong.
In college, I studied International Economics and Trades,
and then I moved to Beijing, and I become a genealogy researcher.
So, my job is to track down those people
who might have connection with Lily, Sadie and Chloe.
I feel like we can call ourselves, like, detectives,
'cause we always looking for the new clues,
and, uh, every project is very different.
I put ads on Baby Come Home…
social media, television.
I'm really looking forward to see who gonna respond to this.
She was taken to Huazhou Welfare Institute
around December, 1999.
You gotta be more detailed…
I know it's like finding a needle in a haystack, but…
Of course it's impossible to find them.
Yes, I know it's quite difficult.
No, it's impossible. You're talking about ancient history.
They did tell you they don't have any records--
No, no, no. They did have records at that point.
No, we don't keep such records.
Someone told my mom a baby photo online
looked like me and my sister.
Well, she could be Lily's sister.
Her home is very close to Lily's finding place.
I had to give birth secretly.
I don't know where the midwife sent the baby.
This is the auntie. She came with the director.
I can see that. Thanks.
Let's see if you recognize the nanny in the photo.
I didn't know you were Jewish.
A lot of people don't. I told my tennis coach that I was Jewish.
He's like, "No, you're not. You're Asian." And I'm like, "I'm a Jewish Asian."
Yeah.
My mom's Greek Orthodox,
so when I say I'm Greek, it doesn't make any sense.
But, like, how were you found? Did someone deliver you?
Oh, I was found on, um, a busy street. I have a picture. But I really don't…
Someone took a picture?
-Yeah, they were exploring Guangzhou. -Why not? I was found on a bench.
-On a bench? -In, like, a busy marketplace.
Oh, my God!
Do you know what's your real birthday?
Honestly, no.
I thought I came with like, a little tag or something, but my mom,
she was like, "They guessed."
And I feel so sad because I'm like…
I'm like, "November 2nd, my birthday, two days after Halloween, I'm a Scorpio."
I'm like…
But then I'm like, "It might not be real."
I mean, it can't be that off.
I know, but still. Just… 'Cause I did the 23andMe thing too.
But I haven't done anything. But that's cool that you found them.
Yeah, Sadie's trying to find her parents, Lily's trying to find hers,
and then I'm not.
You're not gonna try?
No.
-'Cause you don't want to or just… -I do, but also, like, not.
But where would you even start?
Oh, the people-- The tour people are like, "We do this all the time."
And then they put a picture of you out on the street, and then people call,
-and they're like, "That's my baby." -But you were a baby.
-What? -Are you meeting your mom?
Um, I'm not looking for my biological parents.
But my cousins are.
-Oh, no way. -Yeah.
Go! Let's go, guys, let's go! Let's go!
Sometimes I do wanna meet them,
but most of the time I just, like… don't.
'Cause I think that'd just be, like, scary, so…
What would be scary about that?
I don't know, just, like, meeting them and, like…
I don't know.
I don't know. It just seems… weird.
Like, not meant to be, maybe? Like…
Yeah.
She has no interest in, at least at this time,
in finding her birth parents, because if she does that,
then she has to start opening up
and make herself vulnerable to she knows not what.
And she's not interested.
And I think the fundamental question remains the same.
Why was I given up?
And I think she felt like it was just not something she would want to deal with.
She doesn't wanna go there.
It stresses me out. I don't know if I'd want that.
I get that.
It's a lot to handle.
Do you want to or no?
I don't mind digging deep.
Like, I… you know, with the mindset like, "I could possibly meet my parents."
Yeah.
But is it really worth it?
I think so. Or I guess, like--
I don't know. I guess since you don't want to, like, or, like--
If Sadie and I do find them, then it's a connection to ours.
Yeah.
But we'll see how that goes.
Hello!
-Hi! -How was your day?
Good.
Yeah.
Yeah, so some people respond to my ad, and, um,
and I think there is a small chance that they could be, you know,
have a relationship to you.
-So, you see a man's face. -Ah.
He and his wife, they are farmers,
and they live in a very small, um, remote village.
They gave up their second daughter, who has a birthdate similar to Sadie's.
I want to ask you to create a video of yourself for me to use.
Because some people, they don't believe you are real…
-Yeah. No, we'll get that to you. -Yeah.
-Thank you for all your help. -Thanks for the pictures.
-Bye! -Bye!
Bye!
That was a lot to process.
You… You okay with everything?
Yeah.
Hi! I'm Sadie Mangelsdorf.
I live in Tennessee.
My Chinese name is Chun Hua Feng.
Uh, I'm hoping to learn more about my birth family,
and I know this can be difficult,
but I'm hoping to figure out the story from all sides.
I'm heading to Tangwei Village to meet Sadie's potential birth family.
This is my favorite part of my job.
I love to go to the village and talk to the local people.
Sometimes, they open their hearts to me, and you will have this connection.
I love to see that this can happen.
We grow red peppers here.
I've been farming since I was a teenager.
-Who taught you? -My mom.
Ah!
Our place is messy.
What's this right here?
That? When the one-child policy was strict back in the days,
we were told to get these things.
Oh! It's the document for birth control!
After I gave birth to my daughter,
I went back to work.
They would make me get "coil checks."
-IUD? -Right.
They required you to be examined every three months.
It was really strict back then, not like now.
Have you ever thought about the life of the daughter you gave away?
Whether she is living a good life?
Yeah. How can I not think about that?
So it was your second child who was sent away.
-It was late in the night. -At midnight.
Someone took the baby away.
Who was it?
We asked a neighbor.
He said he would find someone to adopt her.
We wrapped her in a small blanket.
Did you talk to him after that?
He wouldn't tell us who he gave the baby to.
He was afraid we'd want her back.
I know it must be a painful history for you.
It's not easy.
Right. That's the tube.
There's a black line to indicate the amount of saliva necessary.
Okay, that's good.
We'll send you a report even if the DNA doesn't match.
When you are listening to other people's stories,
what they have been through,
I think you can understand a lot of things
that you never know you would understand before.
They do love their kids, they want to find their babies.
It's so sad.
Sadie! Blow it out, put it in the sink.
You put way too many candles on this cake.
Yay!
All that smoke…
How big a slice do you want, Mommy?
Small!
This is really good.
You like it? That was always my favorite cake as a kid.
-Or do you want some ice cream? -Oh, my God. Sadie, really?
I'm really hungry! My stomach was grumbling.
Okay, y'all, get your shoes on…
Come on, guys!
They're getting their shoes on. They'll be right here.
See you tomorrow.
-See ya. Bye. -Bye.
-All right. -Bye, Mommy.
-Bye. Love you. -Love you. Happy birthday!
Thank you. See you tomorrow afternoon, okay?
-Got it. -Hi, sweetie.
Hi!
What's going on, dear?
Where'd you get your Chi Omega shirt? That's so cute.
-We've talked about this. -I know.
Window seat!
It's been almost four years since the divorce.
It was a rough time.
Penelope--
I knew it'd be hard on the kids in a lot of ways,
but if you're a miserable mom, it's hard to be a good mom. So…
Christmas of 2004.
The drinking age in China has just been lowered…
to one and under.
What a cute baby.
Yeah, what's my little Sadie girl doing?
We were happier then. We were… We were quite a bit happier.
I mean, it wasn't perfect by any means, but I don't think it ever really is.
But yeah, it was much better.
And then it wasn't.
Mama? Where's mama?
-Huh?
Get all your homework done, or you still have to do some?
I have a lot, actually.
So we know what you're gonna do when you get finished, right?
I… I guess since the divorce,
I'm just kind of used to everything being separate.
Like, separate birthdays, separate Christmas, separate holidays.
But honestly, I don't really remember
a time when they were ever happy together, so…
I mean, I bet there was probably one moment or so, but, yeah.
-Okay, well have fun, dear. I love you. -I love you too.
I don't understand what you're going through.
I don't know what your circumstances are. I don't know what your struggles are.
But I do know that Jesus understands.
How many of you need to find a place to experience God's love tonight?
I wanna invite you to do that.
We are on the Two Bridge where Sadie was found.
Hello, Auntie.
Has anyone near here ever…
-Found a baby? -Yes, have you ever seen one?
-No, I haven't. -You haven't?
No, I only sell things here.
They always put the baby in a very bustling area
that makes sure so many people pass by,
and they can see the baby.
I always knew about the one-child policy
'cause a lot of my relatives,
they just… give up their children.
Their girls.
And my parents, they almost gave up me,
because they don't want to pay the penalty.
But I'm very lucky 'cause my grandparents,
they said, "No, we want to keep her."
So I just don't have a very good relationship with my father.
I remember one time,
my father wanted to take my brother to a very fancy restaurant.
You can get little cute dim sum here.
And, you know, I really loved that one.
And he just wanted to take my brother there,
and I asked him if I can go with them.
And he just pushed me out of the elevator,
said, "No, you can't go."
It was very difficult for me because you know you're not welcome.
You are in the wrong gender, they don't want you, and you know that.
It's very hard.
So that's why I feel so connected with the girls.
I… I cannot say I totally understand them,
but, you know, part of this, I--
We kind of share same feelings, yeah.
Hey, there.
How are you?
Thanks for coming.
-Did I tell you about that? -No.
I'm talking to this girl from Beijing.
And I think she's trying to find my birth parents.
And she's like, "I'm gonna be honest with you,
the chance is low."
I think it's pretty exciting. Hopefully they have some luck, you know?
I want them to.
So, tell me where your classes are.
-Uh, Engineering North, right there. -Oh, yeah. Yeah.
I have one in there. That's where my Accounting class is.
-No, my Accounting class-- -I think that's where mine may have been.
-Really? -Yeah.
I can take you to a tailgate if you want to.
Whatever you wanna do.
When Lily asked me to come up here for the Dad's Weekend,
of course I was over--
You know, just happy to… to do that.
You know, growing up, all of her friends thought I was her dad.
So she would call me "Dad."
And sometimes, she said, "I would not even…
I wouldn't even correct 'em,
because it was-- What's the point, you know?"
"I want a dad, so he can be my dad."
I remember when Lily was really little,
she would talk about, you know, finding her family,
and she used to write letters to her father when she was, like, three.
She would go and put them in the mailbox.
And then, she had a really, really hard time
when she was a junior in high school.
I knew I needed help because I would just cry all the time.
Like, I… like, if I was just in class, like, I'd be sad.
Like, I, literally, on the weekends would wake up and start crying.
But I think the hardest thing was, like,
I could talk about it all day with friends,
but it's like, they like, wouldn't understand.
A neighbor saw the ad. He saw the photo.
He told me, "That girl looks like your daughter a lot."
How long have you been living here?
-Me? -Right.
I've been living here since I was born.
I work in the rice fields.
So, did you make the decision to give up the baby
before she was born or after?
I decided after she was born. Because the village officials found out.
If we kept her, it was going to cost us at least $8,500.
We were forced by the circumstances. We had no choice at all.
I left her at the People's Hospital, next to the main entrance.
It was four or five o'clock in the morning.
Because it would have been too cold to leave her there overnight.
I left a note with her date of birth.
I left 300 RMB in her clothes.
Nothing else. Just the money in her clothes.
That's what happened.
Of course I felt awful.
My own child would be taken by someone else.
Doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl, it's my own child.
Did your wife know that you were giving up the baby?
She knew what I was doing.
She was crying.
She couldn't bear it.
She wanted me to get the baby back. I said I didn't know who took her.
Mom, cut up the onion for me.
Just that.
Cut it in slices.
Who taught you to cook?
I've taught myself since I was very little.
You know, my mom doesn't cook.
I can only ask her to help with simple tasks.
Do you work in the fields?
I used to. But not anymore.
I couldn't manage it. It's a tough job.
So, when did you find out you had a little sister?
When I was in the fourth or fifth grade, I think.
My mom, sometimes she would talk to other people
about babies who got adopted.
She would ask around.
She talks about it less often now.
Uh, I had the chance to grow up with my parents around.
I feel lucky.
But she didn't have the same opportunity like I did.
I feel guilty.
It was my parents who made the decision.
But we are sisters, after all.
-Hi. -Good evening.
-How are you? -Yeah, I'm great.
We found something very interesting.
A man called to me.
His home is very close to Lily's finding place.
It's just, like, ten minutes to get there.
This man's name is, uh, Chen Muxing.
He had six children total, uh, three sons and three daughters.
I talked to this man's daughter,
and she looks like you.
So I think it is possible that they could be your biological parents.
Want to see some pictures of that guy and his family?
Do I want to?
It's your call, honey.
Why are you crying?
I don't know.
-It's okay. Don't worry.
We've talked about this since you were a baby.
They were very poor,
and they didn't really have a choice.
And it wasn't that they didn't love you
or care about you.
Maybe next time.
Okay.
The whole process of adoption,
it's grieving.
They have to come to a point where they can grieve what they've lost.
Hear us, O Lord, we pray.
For we offer these prayers in the name of Jesus,
the Lord of all things, on this Easter day,
when we celebrate the empty tomb
and the gift of new life in Him who has conquered death.
Heavenly Father, thank you for the gift of your son.
Thank you for Easter.
Lord, thank you for having my family here with me today,
and bless this food we are about to eat.
Moses had two mothers,
his birth mother and his adoptive one.
And so my daughter's other mother, I thank you.
We will never know each other,
but we needed each other to create and love and nurture this child.
So, let me ask you,
where did you see the ad?
I saw it on my husband's phone.
I gave up a daughter in 2001.
We sent another one away in 2003.
Do you remember if she had any birthmarks?
I didn't pay attention.
I only looked at her face, which had no marks on it.
I think she could be Sadie's mother, but I'm not sure.
She owns a clothes shop in Yangchung
and told me she gave up three daughters.
That's quite a lot.
Hello. My name is Liu Hao. Nice to meet you.
I don't want to be filmed.
We won't film you.
If you sit behind that, they won't be able to see you.
I knew it was a girl.
I couldn't bear to have another abortion, so I gave birth to the baby instead.
You had the baby in a hospital?
Right. I knew a doctor there.
He told me to wait until I was about to give birth,
and then he would help me deliver.
Because if you went to the hospital too early,
the doctors would find out you were having an extra child.
When they took my daughter away, I fainted and fell to the floor.
I have no idea where she ended up.
I know she wouldn't understand or forgive me if I found her.
She wouldn't be nice to me.
Let me ask you.
Would you forgive me at all?
I ask myself this question.
My dad, he and his mother didn't want me when I was born.
Mm-hmm.
If she wants to forgive me, she will. If not, let it be.
When I heard what she has been through,
I just felt like it's so painful.
And I just… I just feel so sorry about her.
I just feel like she's just like my mom, you know?
It is what my mom had been through, you know?
My father wanted to leave her because I'm not a boy.
I just went back to Huazhou, which was, uh, Chloe was born.
Yeah, and I went to her finding place.
Yeah, she was found on the street.
It's a very busy street. It was called Mingyue Road.
And I seem to remember
that, um, this was not an uncommon place for people to leave their babies.
Is that true?
I think it's pretty common
because, you know, people always left their babies in the, you know,
bustling area that they hope other will see that baby.
-Wow. -Wow.
-That's where I was left? -That's the street.
That's so cool. It's not cool, but it's pretty awesome.
It's way more urban than I thought.
It was my first excursion out of the house.
The very first place I ever was.
Where do you think I was left? There, there, there, or there?
I don't know.
Hello!
You said you know Sadie's nanny?
Oh, right.
I saw her picture online.
I'm a friend of the nanny.
That is awesome.
She has worked in the orphanage for over 20 years.
Do you mind giving me her number so I can contact her?
People never talk about
these women who took care of thousands of babies.
I feel like they are the front, like, warriors, you know, in the orphanage,
because they are the one who take the heavy jobs,
to… to take care of the baby.
When we were there in China, we met Sadie's aunties.
We chartered a van and went out to her orphanage.
It was just row after row, room after room of babies.
There were about 20 babies per room,
and one auntie per room.
And apparently, they'd fill the bottles up and just go down the row.
As much as you could suck out as fast as you can was what you got.
Sadie had marks on her ankles and wrists.
And I was kind of angry about that. Like, who would do that?
And I found out that at that time, they didn't heat and cool the orphanages.
So they would tie down their wrists and put the blankets over them at night,
so they would stay warm.
Because there were so many babies and so few aunties,
they were just doing the best they could.
And so I think that was a little humbling to me,
to realize how hard they were working with how little they had.
I wonder how, like, close they were able to get to each baby,
'cause there's, like, so many babies.
I probably just want to know how they were, like, feeling,
like, watching all these kids, like, knowing… You know?
Yeah, like, was it, like, super, like, meaningful with each baby,
or did they, like, know not to get super attached?
And like, I don't understand.
How are they gonna know you.
-Yeah. -Or remember who we are?
Do you remember her?
Yes, I took care of her.
This is what she looks like now.
Is she a good height?
-Yes. She's tall. -I knew, just by looking at her picture.
She has long hair, like many foreign girls.
Right. Long hair.
When you were a kid, did you think about what you wanted to do in the future?
Not really.
People from the countryside don't have dreams.
I can't write.
I quit school in the second grade.
Why did you stop?
We were poor with so many kids.
No money to study.
Life is much better now. We even throw the leftovers away.
So, you remember her.
Yeah, I remember many of them.
She was skinny when she first came.
It was a freezing day.
A passerby found her on the sidewalk
and brought her to us.
I fed her gently in my arms, as if she was my own.
I brought her up and had to send her away.
We nannies, we aren't cold-hearted.
My heart aches whenever I send a child away.
They'd be sent so far away. I'd think, "What's to become of them?"
The DNA results just came in.
Unfortunately, nobody match.
I knew it was a long shot.
I still feel very disappointed.
According to the DNA reports, the woman is not your biological mother.
Uh, I believe someday, you know, you… you guys probably can find them.
-Yes, I think so too. -Yeah.
These parents, they wanna know what happened to their kids.
The woman who owns the, uh, clothing shop.
-And, uh-- -Yes, the barber?
Yeah. According to the DNA company,
uh, this woman is not your biological mother.
It's a pity that I can't… I can't make it now, you know?
But I will keep looking,
you know, keep doing research, eh, to find your birth parents.
I used to watch this show called Fresh Off The Boat.
And so I just kind of, like, imagined my parents just sort of looking like them.
Sometimes, I play out scenarios in my head, like a big dramatic scene.
I know I do that a lot.
And I've done it a few times,
I guess, thinking about meeting my parents from China.
I mean, it would be nice if they did show up.
Like, it's kind of like, it would be nice to win the lottery,
but, uh… like, it's probably not gonna happen.
I'm heading to the couple who I thought could be Sadie's parents.
Hello?
Good morning! Did you have breakfast?
I think it's important I tell the family in person.
Hi! Nice to see you, Mr. Xu.
When was the last time I was here?
In October.
I'm here to show you the test results. It's here.
It shows that your DNA
doesn't match with the girl's.
You can take a look.
I won't give up looking for your daughter.
Because your DNA is already at the lab,
in the future, if your daughter takes a test,
there will be a match.
It's okay. We're not giving up.
I know it's hard for you, Auntie.
I'll keep searching.
-Hey, how are you? -I'm good. How are you?
Doing pretty good. Are you ready for this?
-Uh, you know, I… I think so.
-Maybe?
I'm sure it's gonna stir around a whole lot of stuff.
Yeah, isn't it, though?
I leave a week from yesterday!
Oh, yeah, guess what?
I've decided I wanna get my nails done before the China trip,
because I only get my nails done before big events, so, yeah.
Oh! I learned how to say "Happy New Year" in Chinese. It's "Xīnnián kuàilè."
-Wow. -It's gonna be really fun.
I also think it's kind of funny, 'cause, like, we actually…
Like, we haven't met, really.
We know each other,
but like, also we're gonna be meeting each other for the first time,
which is kind of weird.
I don't know what room we are. Okay.
-Oh, my God, hello! -Hi!
Oh, my God, sorry.
I was about to be locked out of my hotel room, so…
-Where… -There is no 2403.
-What about that way? -Oh, yeah, there is.
Ding-dong!
-Oh, my God! Hello! -Hello!
-How are you? -Hi!
I'm good.
-Yeah. -How was your flight?
-It was good. -What time did you guys get in?
Like,30?
-Hi, Sadie! -Hello! It's nice to meet you, finally.
Yeah. Finally meet in person.
I know!
What does starfruit taste like?
-You just want to grab mine? -Yeah.
-Oh, my gosh, is that it? That's crazy. -Yeah, look, guys. There it is.
…shel Hanukkah
To this, our first "Chrismanukah" celebration with the cousins,
all together.
-Here, here! -Okay, let's…
-Lily!
It's so many stairs!
I'll race you!
-So, how do we bow? -Just like that.
I do not have a boyfriend. I have a friend who's a boy.
I got friendzoned, so…
-Oh, you got friendzoned. -Yeah.
He randomly came up to me and was like, "Yo, let's just be friends."
And I was like, "Okay. That's okay."
-What about you, Lily? -Huh? No one.
Chloe?
I do not have a boyfriend.
-What does that mean?
What'd she say?
She says, "I don't have any boyfriend."
You were found on the Two Bridge.
Wait, where was I found, Huazhou?
Huazhou.
-Where was she found? -Wasn't I found in…
No, she was in the same orphanage, right?
Look at the cute clothes.
-Who's that? That's Chloe. -That's me.
-Yeah. -So cute.
Oh, my gosh, Chloe! You literally look like James Charles!
-Wait, is that her commercial? -Oh, no! What is that photo of me?
That is so funny.
Yeah, seeing those photos, I wouldn't want me back, either.
-Oh, my God!
Can you make a new commercial?
Oh, my God!
-I love these. These look so soft. -Pretty.
-Is this mine? -Have you seen-- The Europe…
-Thank you! -Those are nice!
-That's so cute! -Oh, my God.
Oh, Lord.
-It's a big day for you guys today. -Yes, it is a big day.
You ready?
I think so. I think so.
I know there's just gonna be so many emotions today. It's, you know…
-Sadie, how are you feeling? -A little nervous.
I guess I just anticipate the meeting of my nanny… of my nanny, so, yeah.
Thank you.
To be here is a lot of emotions in itself.
Things are so different now than I thought they were gonna be when I got Sadie.
About how… you're not the family you thought you were gonna give her.
And then I worry that, you know, that I still gave her the life I promised her.
You know, because I don't think that mother, though she gave her up,
would want her in a split home.
You know?
I feel like that mother has to wonder, where is she at? Is she happy?
What's she look like? What does she like to eat?
Okay. I'll be fine.
Is it still the same?
-Do you-- Which is the… -It's-- Yeah. Yes, it's very similar.
But Sadie was in the white building here.
The white building was the original building.
Oh, that's the nanny!
Hello!
-Nanny Li. -This is you?
Nanny Li. Yeah, hang on.
That is me. I didn't realize it at first.
She says, a long time ago, but she saw the ads I post online,
and she saw this photo, and she recognize, "It's me and it's you."
Yeah, she's holding you.
Oh!
First, I washed diapers.
Then I started taking care of the babies from 2001 to 2005.
When did Sadie come to the orphanage?
In early December.
She wasn't wearing pretty clothes, like the other babies.
She was no more than five pounds…
She knew all this stuff about me.
Yeah, she was a part of my life.
It feels like a whole other past life, kind of.
Although she isn't my daughter,
I raised her until she was adopted.
You are so sweet.
It's a shame you can't find your mom.
Please keep an eye out for us.
Please tell us if anyone reaches out.
Sadie used to live here, right?
Yes, in this room.
The cribs went down, around, and then in the middle.
How many kids in this room? You remember? When you back there--
-In this room alone, at least 12. Yeah. -At least 12?
Can I hold a baby?
-Okay. -The head, Sadie.
Put the head higher.
You gotta hold it under the head. There you go.
It doesn't feel real that I came from here, honestly.
Everyone keeps telling me it's my home place,
but, like, I don't remember it at all.
Yeah, I just… I can't believe, like, I was one of those kids in there.
I feel like I'm kind of just, like, walking through a movie,
but then I'm like, "Wait, no, this is real life."
It's crazy to think that, like, I was brought in this street,
and then brought back out, like… 16 years later, here we are.
Bye-bye!
Bye!
Well, they told us that she was left in a box, cardboard box.
I don't know if the bushes were here then.
Because we stood… But it was right by this tree.
-Which one? This tree? -That tree.
-Yeah. -That's where Sadie was found.
She was by this tree in a cardboard box.
Whichever parent left it probably was watching, waiting.
Just… You know what I mean? They--
'Cause you were found really early in the morning, before00.
Before it got too busy,
but they put you here so when people started getting busy, that…
you'd be found right away.
So you wouldn't be cold, and all this-- I think you were wrapped in a coat.
-Yeah. -In an adult raincoat or something.
It's a lot of stuff to see all in one day.
When I was younger, in 4th grade,
I had a bottle where I would write little notes of my feelings
and shove them into the bottle.
Until, I guess, one day, when I'm ready to break it.
So, that's how I dealt with it.
I literally and figuratively bottled up my emotions.
I don't know. I just don't know how to deal with it now.
So, we are heading to Huazhou Orphanage,
which was where Lily and Chloe come from.
And we're gonna meet Chloe's nanny in the orphanage.
She will show us around that, um, that place.
Yeah.
Thanks for bringing so many gifts for the kids.
Li Lan is amazing.
She was my caregiver for the first year-and-a-half of my life.
Hi, baby.
And she still works there to this day.
This is where the kids live.
Hello, everyone.
Say hi to your sisters.
She went to medical school on the weekends,
and she was a nanny during the week.
And she's the director of the orphanage now.
Nĭ hăo!
I was surprised that Li Lan remembered me
because she did have to take care of, like, so many babies,
and she's still taking care of babies, and I just…
I don't know how you remember all of that.
How many babies did you take care of back then?
After 2001, it was the peak time. Over 200 kids.
The conditions in the orphanage weren't optimal.
We had only two nurses and no doctor.
There were many babies.
We weren't able to take them to the hospital whenever they got sick.
There was no doctor, so we couldn't use prescription drugs.
So I went to medical school in 2002.
She gave me my vaccination.
I gave her this vaccine. I did it for all the babies.
-Did I cry a lot? -No.
Really?
She only cried when she was vaccinated.
She usually didn't cry.
She was outgoing and alive.
When Chloe first came to the orphanage, how old was she?
We think she was born that day.
Who brought her to the orphanage?
It would have been the local police department.
Why are you crying, baby?
It's a lot.
You need me to give you a hug?
She was, like, kind of the closest thing I had to a mother at the time.
It was like…
It's really nice to know that she loved me, and, like--
like, was able to take care of me
out of, like, hundreds of babies in the orphanage, so…
I feel like it's just so big, and, like…
she took care of me,
and, like… I don't know what it's like to, like…
I don't know.
Is Lily in here?
It's okay. It's okay, little one.
I'm happy we're going through it with Sadie and Lily,
'cause, like, we all have each other.
I haven't known them for long,
but, like, there's just-- I don't know.
Unconditional, like, thing. Like, you just know they know what you feel.
Like, you don't even have to explain it to them.
It's okay.
There you go.
Yang Mudi!
Her name is Yang Mudi.
-Yang Mudi? -Yang Mudi.
Nanny Yang.
Hi!
Hello, Auntie.
Nĭ hăo!
-This is Lily. -I recognize her.
-You recognize her? -I do.
This is her mother. This is her mother.
Can you tell us how long Lily lived here?
I brought her up until she was adopted.
When there were too many babies in the orphanage,
we'd raise them at home until they're sent away.
How many babies lived here?
Sometimes more than 10, sometimes just a few.
You were living in that room.
She says you lived in that room.
-This one? -You stayed in that room.
You were here.
She was a mischievous girl. A bit naughty.
My grandma used to
tickle her and call her a bun.
Her grandma just making fun of you.
-Joking all the time with you.
She say you have this big round face. And your name is Mei-Bao, right?
But in Chinese, it sounds like Miànbāo, which means "bread."
And she say, "Oh, that big bread," when you were crying.
So she… Her grandma would…
What was it like to say goodbye to Mei-Bao?
I was sad that she was crying.
When I put her in her mom's arms, she cried a lot.
I raised her and grew feelings for her.
Lily and her mom got this for you.
Thank you so much.
Auntie, please open it and see what's in it.
Can you help me with it?
-Sorry. -Lily? Can you?
It's something of mine that was very special.
And I wanted you to have it.
This gift means a lot to her.
I see. I will have it on all the time.
She'll wear it every day.
I want to thank you so much for taking such good care of her.
And for… giving… her to me,
because she is such a joy.
I'm grateful to her mom for raising her to be an excellent girl.
Mm.
She also thanks you that you take care--
You are taking care of her, and make--
She's such a good, good girl now. And a big girl now.
I just noticed she had, like, tears in her eyes.
That's kind of when I got emotional.
Because it showed that she cared about me.
And, I mean, like, I know she does.
So…
One, two, three.
The first months of my life were a mystery.
I think being here has helped a lot.
Thank you.
So, we are heading to the Yangmei Township.
Your finding place is, um… in a government building of that town.
So we'll go there first and walk around.
And then the family that could be your birth family,
I will come over there and tell them the… the results.
-That it doesn't match. -Okay.
That family really wanted to find their child,
and that sister, that girl I talked to,
she really wants to find her sister,
that girl.
Would you like to come with me?
You don't need to come if you don't want to, but…
I don't know. That's a big question.
Yeah.
I don't know. I really don't. I don't know.
Here's what I'll say.
I think that this family will be very grateful to have-- meet all of us,
and especially you, because, like,
even though you're not their biological daughter,
they'll feel connected to you because all of our families
went through similar stories,
and um, like, pressures in society
to, like, have to give up their daughter, and, like,
even though you're not their daughter, it's… um…
it's still a connection with someone who knows the other half of their story.
Yeah.
I… I say we go.
But they're gonna come with me, like, right?
Yeah, we'll come. We'll all be with you.
Wait, so is this the building right here?
This is the government building.
You were left on the stairs to the entrance of the building.
The Chens live right down here. I will go in first and talk to them.
Hello!
Oh, you are cooking here, Chunjiao? I haven't seen you for so long!
Why are you cooking so much today?
Because we have over 20 people today.
-Are the workers coming today? -Yes.
Mr. Chen!
Let me show you the report.
-Take a seat. -It's okay.
It turns out your DNA didn't match.
It wasn't a match, was it?
-Chunjiao? -Mm?
The test results show that the DNA didn't match.
-No match? -So, Lily is not your little sister.
She isn't, is she?
I know you will find her in the future.
Even though I'm not sure when, I think there's a chance.
Because as the technology develops,
DNA tests will be more and more common.
I don't wanna dwell on it. There's nothing to do.
It is what it is.
However, Lily is here today with her cousins.
-I wonder if she's welcome-- -Let's meet her, then.
She also thinks fate brought her here.
-It's okay for us to meet her. -Okay.
I'll let her know now.
There's a cute baby.
-So cute. -Aw!
-Lily. -I recognize her.
Hi. This is Mr. Chen.
Hi! Nĭ hăo!
Mr. Chen's daughter.
You really look alike.
-Nĭ hăo!
Does she look like me?
-A little bit.
Hello, miss.
-Oh! -Aw!
She wants to give you the honey.
-Thank you. -If you want, I can get more.
-This honey looks good. -Come back to China anytime!
This is Mr. Chen's wife, the mom.
She looks like my daughter, just like the photo showed.
Her eyes are like mine, right? Her eyes.
But she's not the one. There's nothing I can do.
Um, I have a whole group of friends
that have adopted from China,
and they are all very loved, with parents that adore them.
I hoped she was the one. But it is what it is.
It is not up to what I say, right?
We have to go, Mr. Chen.
-Okay. -Thank you, Mrs. Chen.
Much obliged.
Bye.
Bye, Chen.
Bye-Bye!
Bye-bye.
I could tell he was sad.
His eyes were watering.
Yeah, I felt like he's holding, because he's a man.
He can't cry.
I think going to see Mr. Chen was, honestly, like…
the hardest thing I've ever done.
I could just tell he was so sad.
That, like, we didn't match.
But, like, I was happy that I got to do that.
I've just gotten a deeper understanding of my birth parents.
I can just see from their point of view.
No parent would ever just, like, willingly give up their baby.
And, like…
I would just say that it kind of helped.
I saw how… much that family wanted to find their child,
and how devastated they were when they didn't find her.
I hope that my birth parents are searching for me like this family.
I think it was a really powerful experience for everyone.
I think everyone should know that, like,
their parents probably loved them very much
and were heartbroken to give them up, so…
We're not even on the wall yet! We're getting up to the wall.
Let's see if we can go in sync.
-Ready? Right, left. -In sync.
Right, left.
How does Chloe have so much energy?
Come here, come here, come here! It's so pretty!
-Post something. -Yeah.
It's so pretty.
I'm so proud of you guys.
You know, you made it.
Yeah.
You… You need to have a lot of courage to come back to find your story.
I know how hard it is.
Yeah. Thanks, Liu.
Thank you.
-Thanks.
Sadie, is this your first time seeing snow?
-Honestly, kind of! -I can tell.
Class is starting.
What is your nationality?
I am Chinese.
There are four people in my family.
My dad is a businessman.
My mom isn't working.
My sister is a college student.
Okay. Excellent.
We have to do 54 through 58 in "B."
I'm losing my place.
Sadie Mangelsdorf.
Definition essay, AP Language and Composition.
When I was eight years old,
I remember watching the movie Tangled for the first time.
In the movie, the baby is separated from her parents from a young age.
And in the end, she ends up reuniting happily
with her long-lost family.
Like any human,
we all hope to have the fairy-tale ending that we watch in these movies.
Then, I had a realization.
I might have been searching for the wrong family.
Family are the people who make an effort to be there for you.
-Hi! Oh, my God, I haven't seen you in… -Hi!
They know, love, and accept me for who I am.
So perhaps it's better that some things are left to be fairy tales.
I've been dying my hair different colors.
It turned pink again,
but then, um, when I washed it,
it kind of faded out, and it's, I think, ginger!
Hello, Auntie.
Here's the report.
It must be negative.
Where is my name?
Your name is here.
Look.
It shows "Matched."
You didn't match with Sadie, but with another girl born in 2000.
Her name is Amanda Phillips.
Does she look like me?
I think so.
She speaks English.
Pardon?
She speaks English.
I don't know English.
Hi! So, yeah, hello. I'm Liu Hao.
-Hello! -Good evening.
One of the women we have tested came back as your birth mother.
-Oh, wow. -Okay.
Okay! Okay!
I understand you may have thousands of questions in your mind.
Did she give birth to all daughters? All girls? Do you know how old they are?
The second one is 23, the first one is…
I