[ Muffled speech ]
Downloaded from YTS.MX
[ Rustling continues ]
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX
Who gave you the box?
Grandma, because I love boxes.
[ Knock on door ]
They're ready for you. A'ight.
Alright, you keep playing with the box
I'm-a check back on you in a little bit.
I'm a box man, though.
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Mutters ]
The box. That's all he fucking wants.
[ Cheers and applause ]
A'ight.
I -- I hope you're okay.
Man: Ow!
I do. I hope you're okay.
I'm not gonna ask.
You know, I just hope you're okay.
It's not a question you can throw around casually anymore,
you know -- "How you doing?"
We've been through too much, lost too many people,
been through too much struggle.
You ask somebody how they doing now, you better be careful,
because they might tell you.
[ Audience laughs ]
And that'll throw off your whole day.
You ever have somebody you don't give a damn about
start sharing they pain? Whoo-whoo.
It'll throw off your whole schedule.
"Hey, what's going on, man? How you been?"
"Well, the dog caught COVID, and --"
"I gotta call you back. That's my bad. That's my bad.
I thought you knew I didn't give a shit.
I'm so sorry for asking.
I'm so sorry."
It's not a casual question.
I called my uncle. This is when I knew
my uncle was going through some shit.
I called my uncle. I said, "Unc, what's going on?"
He said, "Well, you know,
ain't nothing that the ancestors can't get me through."
And I said, "Oh, shit."
This motherfucker is summoning dead Black people.
That's when you know Black people going through some shit,
when you start calling on the ancestors,
calling on Black people floating around you, protecting.
Which should just go to show you,
that's how stressful it is being Black.
Even after you die,
you got to stay on Earth to give motherfuckers tips.
Can't even go to heaven.
Soon as you get to floating up to heaven,
somebody down on Earth, "Ancestors, I need you."
"Ain't this a bitch."
[ Sighs heavily ]
My Black friends always talking about their ancestors.
My white friends always talking about their forefathers,
which is two totally different types of dead people.
And look, I'm not saying you're a racist
if you bring up the forefathers,
but I am saying you have my undivided attention.
You know, because it's not racist,
but it just feels...
It -- You could have something that ain't racist,
but it's got the residue --
it's got the residue of racism on it.
You know what it feel like? You know, it's like
somebody starts talking about their forefathers,
you know what it feel like? You ever been somewhere
and there's too many American flags.
It just feels...
There's a little too much freedom in this space.
And it just don't feel right. Like, how many American flags
equal one Confederate flag?
I don't know what the number is, but there is a number.
And that's how I be feeling when people get to talking about
their forefathers. Man, I ain't trying to hear that shit.
"You know, Roy, this is a layered conversation
with a lot of nuance,
and I just think we need to think about
what our forefathers would --" Hey.
I think my ancestors would want your forefathers
to shut the fuck up. How about that?
[ Cheers and applause ]
Denver, Colorado, what's going on?
How y'all doing tonight?
[ Cheers and applause ]
A'ight.
That's good.
I meant it that time. I meant it that time.
[ Laughs ]
We just out here trying to live, man.
That's all we trying to do. Anything to feel good.
That's what we after now,
and you can't be embarrassed for trying to do that.
Like, we try to follow all the rules and regulations,
but every now and then, you just --
you'd be at the house,
you'd be like, "Just fuck it. I'm okay if I catch it.
I got to get out."
We at the house, man. We at the house
dealing with all of the shit. "Ooh, the virus is out there."
You know, what else is a disease?
Fucking sadness.
It's tough.
That's why I ain't mad at people.
Whatever you got to do to feel good, do that shit.
Like, at this point, life is basically a crab leg,
and we're just all trying to work that bitch.
And trying to find that one little nugget of feel good
inside that -- [ Moans ]
Oh, yum! Oh!
Oh, I found a little feel good today.
I found just a little bit.
Num-num.
The smallest things will send you to the moon.
You post a picture of yourself online.
Somebody like it, you're like, "Ooh!"
We're so addicted to that
that our own face ain't even enough.
We've lost confidence in our own face.
Won't put a picture of yourself online,
but I'll put in a filter.
They have a filter, ooh. Swipe, swipe.
Sw-- Okay, that's the one I'mma post. That's the one.
Gotta have dog ears on your head.
Don't -- Don't run from the truth.
Don't be putting no filters on your pictures.
Accept the truth.
Your mama's a 9. Your daddy's a 2.
It is what it is.
Stop putting filters on yourself.
They got one app -- they got one app -- This shit is wild.
They got an app where all it do is show you
what you look like when you 80.
That's it. That's all it do. It don't do nothing else.
You take a picture of yourself now as a young person
and you put it in your phone, and [gibbers] 80.
That's it.
Have we lost that much hope that we need a sneak preview
of old age?
Like, who is it -- A sneak preview of when you 80?
Who is this app for? Like -- Other than Black men,
'cause we might not make it there, but...
You never know.
Anything, man.
Women getting plastic surgery to feel good.
Yeah. Brazilian butt lifts.
That's what they doing, fellas.
Brazilian butt lifts, that's what the women are doing.
They're going down to South America.
Do you know what the Brazilian butt lift is?
They go down there and they slice your booty cheek open.
They slice your booty open, and they take some of your belly
and they put it in your ass and they stitch you up
and they put you on a Spirit Airlines flight
back to the States.
That's what they do. Which is fine --
I'm not hating on plastic surgery.
If that's your crab leg, work it out, do what you do.
My problem is that, women, y'all will get the new ass
and then you get on the Internet and talk shit to men.
Why are you attacking my self-esteem?
You got a belly booty. Congratulations.
Go enjoy your belly booty.
But that's not what they do. The women get the new ass,
and then you be bent over on Instagram.
"Look at all this ass.
Do you have enough dick for this?"
"No, ma'am. I don't. I don't have enough.
I cannot reach it from this angle, ma'am.
You -- You put a foot of meat in front of your --
I cannot get to it from this way."
You can't move the goalposts then turn around and talk shit.
Turn around, we gotta do it front ways.
It's the only way.
I see what you’re doing out there, white folks.
White allies.
\h\h\hThat’s what we got now, Black people -- white allies.
And you gotta call them that. \h\h\h\h\h\h\hThey like that.
White allies. And we know \h\h\hyou’re a white ally
’cause you won’t stop telling us that’s your job.
Shut the fuck up.
"I just want you to know \h\h\h\h\hthat I see you
and I understand your journey, \h\h\hand any time you want to
have a dialogue -- Would you \h\hlike to have a dialogue?"
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hStop talking to your Black friends about race.
Talk to your forefathers.
Call them up.
And I’m not trying attack white folks.
I know you’ve done a lot of good shit.
I don’t want you to think I’m taking nothing away from you.
We’ve been seeing you out there \h\h\h\h\hputting in the work.
\hYou got your shirts on with your little slogans.
\hYou know, pretty much whatever you stand for as a white person,
there’s a slogan shirt for you.
Black lives and trans lives \h\h\h\h\hand pussy hats --
\h\h\h\h\ha lot of merch. Y’all got a lot of merch
in this ally game right now. \h\h\h\h\h\h\hWhich is cool,
\h’cause the merch -- the shirt does half the work for you now.
The shirt breaks the ice for you.
\hIt’s easy to be a white ally now.
Shit, if you was a white ally \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hin the ’90s,
\h\h\h\h\h\hyou know how hard that shit was with no merch?
\h\hYou just had to be nice to niggas and grin at them
and hope they figured it out.
You know how much pressure that is as a white person?
They’re gonna hold the elevator \h\h\h\hdoor open a little bit.
Ding!
Did you see what I did?
[ Audience laughs ]
But you could be doing more, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hwhite folks.
\h\h\h\h\hDon’t think that what you’ve done is enough.
We appreciate what you’ve done, \h\h\h\hbut you could do more.
\h\h\hDig deep and help out your goddamn Black friends.
\h\h\hWe seen what y’all was doing at the Capitol.
Do that shit for us.
[ Cheers and applause ]
\h\h\hStorm the Capitol for your Black friends.
Inside of every white person in this room is a Capitol rioter.
You should dig deep \h\hand find them.
You can storm the Capitol for a number of reasons.
\h\h\h\h\hThat ain’t got to be the only reason. Do it for us.
You think we even discussed that at the Black meeting?
You think Black people ain’t discuss storming
a government facility
\h\has one of the options for getting our freedom?
Yeah, but you cannot do that \h\h\h\h\h\hif you are Black.
You can’t just go grab a shotgun and go to D.C.
"Boom, bitch! Where the freedom \hat?" [ Imitates gun cocking]
You would get shot immediately.
Immediately, you would get shot.
You’d get shot at the house, \h\h\h\h\hbooking the flight.
You wouldn’t even...
You wouldn’t even get to D.C.
\h\h\hStorm that Capitol on Black people’s behalf.
And take a couple of Asians \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hwith you --
\h\h\h\hmaybe we’ll get some laws passed, too.
[ Audience laughs ]
\h\h\h\hThat’s the one thing we don’t get, Black folks --
we don’t get no legislation.
They give us everything \h\h\hbut legislation.
\h\hWe do all the marching and whooping and hollering.
They won’t pass a goddamn law.
[ Applause ]
We be asking for the law. \h\h\h"Can you pass a law
so that they’ll stop this shit?"
"Well, um... [ Grunts ]
\h\hWhat about a mural? Would you like a mural?
Colorful. We’ll make it \hthe whole crosswalk.
You know, mural?"
Bitch, we don’t want no mural. \h\h\h\h\h\h\hWe want the laws.
"What about a Juneteenth \h\h\h\h\h\has a holiday?
You like Juneteenth, right?
Extra barbecue. Don’t you want \h\h\h\h\hsome more barbecue?"
Yeah, man, white folks \h\h\hare contributing.
It’s good. It’s good to see \hwhite people contribute.
\h\h\hA lot of white people contributing, Black folks,
that we don’t recognize, \h\h\h\h\h\hand we got to
start tipping our hat to them.
Some white folks have been doing some really dope shit
helping Black folks.
You know one white ally that \hgoes unsung, in my opinion?
\hIs evil white actors in Civil Rights movies.
These are unsung heroes \h\h\hof the movement.
’Cause here’s the thing -- \h\h\hIf you’re gonna have
\h\h\h\h\ha Black struggle movie and you’re gonna tell the truth,
\hthat means you have to show some heinous shit happening.
And to show heinous shit \h\h\h\h\h\h\hhappening,
that means you need \h\h\hwhite actors
being motherfucking terrible \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hon camera.
You gotta have it.
\h\h\hAnd I’ve met some of these white actors.
\h\h\h\hThese are good, normal-ass white boys.
They gotta walk on set all nice \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hand then
just turn on the racism.
You know what kind of pressure \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hthey under?
\h\h\h\hYou gotta walk on set and say "nigga" for 12 hours.
Gotta eat lunch by yourself. \h\h\h\hNobody talks to you.
\h\hGotta walk on set all chipper and shit.
\h\h\h"Hey, good morning. How you doing? Hey, guys!
Hey, director, good to see you. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHey, Denzel,
good to see you, too. \h\h\hWhat’s up, man?
\h\hWe ready?" "And, action."
"You our nigga."
"And cut."
"Was that good? Mm-hmm?
\h\h"We gotta go again? [ Groans ] Oh, my God.
I’m sorry, Denzel. We gotta go \h\h\hagain. I don’t want to."
If you gon’ tell the history of \h\h\hmy people the right way,
\h\hevery now and then, you need a white actor
being a heinous motherfucker \h\h\h\h\h\h\hon that camera.
You’re telling me Leo DiCaprio \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hdidn’t kill it
in "Django Unchained"?
Leonardo DiCaprio transformed \h\h\h\h\h\h\hin that movie.
That’s one of the bravest white allies I ever seen in my life.
Turned into an evil-ass \h\h\h\h\h\h\henslaver.
\h\hCalled Jamie Foxx a nigga to his face.
\h\h\hTo his face! Not an empty chair,
\h\h\hwhen, like, they do the CGI Jamie Foxx later.
Jamie Foxx was in that room, \h\hand Leo was right there,
grabbing Kerry Washington \h\hand shit by the hair.
Just being disrespectful.
Fucking put 10 toes \h\h\hon the ground
and called fucking Jamie Foxx \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\ha nigga
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hto his face in front of Samuel L. Jackson.
[ Audience laughs ]
Bravery.
And all they do -- \hThey love to say,
\h\h\h"Oh, Tom Cruise does his own stunts."
\h\h\hWell, so does Leonardo DiCaprio.
That’s a wild stunt.
Right next to Samuel L. Jackson.
Looked Jamie Foxx dead \h\h\h\h\hin the face,
"You said you would be willing \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hto pay
an exorbitant amount of money \hfor what you consider to be
\h\h\h\h\hthe right nigga? Well, it would seem to me,
\h\h\hthis lady right here is indeed the right nigga."
Same dude from "Titanic," \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hy’all.
You just got to respect \hthat transformation.
This dude went from "Titanic"
to enslaver.
\h\h\h\h♪ Near, far, wherever you are... ♪
nigga!
\h\h\h\hAfter "Django" -- This is what a sacrifice
Leonardo DiCaprio made.
\hAfter "Django Unchained" in 2012, it was almost 10 years
before he did another scene \h\h\hwith a Black co-star.
That’s how -- And I’m not \hcalling the man racist.
\h\h\h\hHe’s done movies with every minority you can name.
He did a movie with a bear. \h\h\h\hHe’s a solid dude.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBut he knew -- he knew when he made that movie.
\h\hOnce you call Jamie Foxx and Kerry Washington "nigga"
\hin front of Samuel L. Jackson, you got to lay low for a decade.
And that’s sacrifice.
\h\h\hIf anybody know Leo, tell him he can come home.
Tell him it’s time.
We’re trying, man.
Some of us out there, we're trying to just help
other people to feel good. That's our crab leg.
It's trying to help other people.
You want to, and sometimes the system
don't let you do everything you want to do
the way you want to do it.
I got two cops in my family,
which is kind of like saying some of my best friends
are Black.
You know.
Well, I do. I got two cops my family.
Chicago suburb and a Mississippi State Trooper.
We get to talking about everything that's going on, man.
And I was trying to explain to them, it's base-level shit
the police could be doing.
We ain't talking legislation and policy,
just base-level shit you could do
to help build a bridge to make things a little better.
First thing the police need to do --
This is one thing I think the police should start doing.
Stop talking in code on the radio.
Use regular words. Why y'all talking
all these abbreviations and shit?
Why are you keeping secrets?
Secrets is what got you in trouble all this time.
Stop keeping secrets.
You ain't in Iraq. You ain't giving away
your position to the enemy. Use regular words.
You're in front of the Walgreens.
I can see you. Everybody can see you.
But that ain't what the police do.
You heard the police talk to each other on the radio?
The shit is gibberish.
And it's how the police talk to each other.
It's just gibberish.
"Three Victor, two David, two David, two Victor."
[ Gibbers indistinctly ]
When we be watching the police in the grocery store,
they see us looking at the radio,
the police love to play it off,
act like they understood what dispatch was talking about.
"Three Adam, David, three Adam, David.
We have a respond code." [ Gibbers indistinctly ]
"Three Victor, 10-4." Like, you don't know
what she just said.
Stop fucking around. You don't know
what she just said to you.
And you wonder why the police show up
and shoot the wrong person.
'Cause you ain't getting the right information
through the radio.
Slow it down. Slow it down.
Use regular words.
All you got to do, man. I was trying to explain
this shit to my cousin, man. Like -- Like, the other thing,
though, to take some of the heat off the cops
is if enough of y'all just did your job right
for a little while,
some of the heat will come off you.
If you do your job well enough, long enough,
people will let a couple of things slide.
They'll let some stuff slide. Just do the job
for a little while. Look at the fire department.
Everybody loves firefighters.
Everybody loves -- The truck pass by,
you be cheering for them. [ Cheers ]
Everybody love -- Firefighters get
the same hero love as cops, none of the scrutiny.
You've never looked at a firefighter
and wondered to yourself if he's one of the good ones.
They're just firefighters. Everybody loves firefighters.
But don't forget, firefighters in the '60s
used to shoot Black people in the face with water.
They were terrible. Firefighters were a bunch of
terrible, evil motherfuckers.
And then one day they had a meeting
and they was like, "You know, maybe we should
just put out fires.
Stop shooting these niggas in the face with the water."
And we've been cool with the fire department ever since.
We love the fire department.
We so good with the fire department,
they don't even show up to our protests anymore.
That's why all the shit be burning.
Because they're a good ally.
Plus, if you are a racist firefighter,
like, how would you be a racist firefighter?
Like, you in the smoke. You can't see who you saving.
If you're a racist firefighter,
that mean you get to listen for race in the dark,
patting around.
You know how racist you gotta be
to hear Black over the crackle of flames?
Patting around, "Fire department.
Call out. Fire department, you in here?"
"I'm over here, cuz. Save me, dawg."
"This floor is all clear. Headed upstairs."
"Roger that, engine 13, upstairs." [ Gibbers ]
[ Audience laughs ]
There's a lot of shit the cops could be doing, man.
could do -- This would really \h\h\h\h\h\h\hbuild a bridge.
Every cop in this country, \h\h\h\h\h\h\honce a month,
let a nigga go.
I’m serious.
Not every day, not every shift, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hnot every week,
but just once a month, \h\h\h\hlet a nigga go.
Like, someone who you know for \hsure should be going to jail.
You got him dead to rights.
You got all the evidence. \hYou could take him in.
Just open the car door. \hJust, "You good, bro.
Get on with you."
"You good, fam, go home." \h\h\h\h\h\h\h[ Mutters ]
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h"2 Victor, David, letting a nigga go." [ Gibbers ]
"Roger that, Victor, David, nigga go, let a nigga go."
\h\hAnd not for every crime. I’m not saying for all crime.
There’s certain crimes \h\hthat have to be --
like, murder, the ATF, SVU.
Like, you keep the hits.
You know, the major crime, you still gotta go to jail
for that. But a lot of crime \h\h\h\h\h\hthat’s out there
that cops take us to jail for,
you ain’t got to take me to jail for this, man.
\h\h\hCome on, dawg. An expired tag, man?
Don’t let these folks turn you \h\h\h\hinto a bill collector.
You took an oath to fight crime. Let me go to work
\hso I can get the money to unexpire my tag, sir.
Hey.
You don’t have to write me \h\h\h\ha ticket for that.
Just ’cause it’s a crime \hdon’t mean that you’ve
\h\h\h\h\hgot to enforce it. Really? Really, dawg, crack?
You’re gonna take me to jail \h\h\h\h\h\h\hfor some crack?
\h\h\hLike crack -- That’s what we arresting people for still?
\h\hCrack -- And not a shipment of crack.
\hI’m talking about my own personal allotment for me.
\h\h\hMy own -- My rock. A crack. One single rock.
A crack.
\h\h\h\hYou gonna take me to jail for a crack, sir?
That’s what you’re gonna do?
\hIt’s drugs, dawg. It’s an addiction.
It’s not criminal. \h\hDrop me off at
the don’t-do-crack-no-more \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hbuilding
and go fight the real crime.
’Cause that’s how you build \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hthe bridge.
’Cause the rift between \hgood cop and bad cop
\h\hand the argument, it just boils down to
who had a good interaction \h\h\h\h\hwith the police.
That’s all it boils down to.
\hAnd if once a month, you letting a nigga go,
you are creating allies \h\h\h\h\hout the ass.
\h\h\h’Cause that’s who’s gonna defend you at the next protest.
Who you think gon’ defend you \h\h\h\hat the next protest?
You wouldn’t even need all that \h\h\h\hBlue Lives Matter flag
if you just start letting niggas go free once a month.
"We got to defund the police, \h\h\habolish these police!"
"Hang on. Hang on, now, baby. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHang on.
I had some crack on me \h\h\h\hlast Thursday,
and that brother \hjust let me go.
\h\h\h\h\hLook, this is a nuanced conversation
with a lot of layers to it, \hand we just need to think
about what our forefathers \h\h\h\hwould have wanted.
That’s all I’m saying. That’s all I’m saying.
I’mma go smoke some crack. \h\h\h\hI’ll be right back.
[ Inhales deeply ] Ow!"
[ Sniffs ]
’Cause that’s the rift.
All these people have had all \h\hthese great experiences,
and then there’s a lot of people who hadn’t had
a good experience.
\hLike, if you’ve had a good interaction with the police,
\hespecially if you Black, you can’t even tell nobody.
I had a life-changing run-in \h\hwith a good cop one time.
It was 2003.
I was in South Dakota.
Don’t ask why.
\h\h\h\hIt was money -- There was money there.
So I drove,
and I’m riding around \h\h\h\hSouth Dakota
with Alabama plates.
Well, yeah, you already knew \h\hthey was going to pull me
over on that.
I was in South Dakota.
And the cop pulls me over, \h\h\h\h\hand I blow 0.07.
Which isn’t the legal limit, \h\h\h\h\h\h\hbut it’s close.
I can feel the judgment.
It’s not the legal limit, \h\h\h\h\hbut it’s close.
And it’s -20 outside.
It’s -20 degrees outside. \h\h\hSo cold that I pass
the first breathalyzer.
Like the wind -- the wind is \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hswirling
and is coming back through \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hthe tube.
\h\hAnd I blew -- [blows] I blew through the tube,
I blew like a 0.01 \h\hthe first time
I looked at the cop. I was like, "Well, I’m victorious."
\h\hAnd the cop was like, "Nah, dawg, you gotta get in the car.
\h\hLet’s run it back. Best two out of three.
Come on back."
And I get in the car, \h\h\h\hI blow 0.07.
\h\h\h\hAnd, the cop, I can see him decide
whether or not he’s going to \h\h\htake me in on this one.
And I start explaining \hto him the situation.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI say, "Sir, before you make a decision
\hon whether or not you gon’ charge me
with this buzzed driving, \h\hdrunk driving thing,
\h\h\hI need to let you know that I am a stand up comedian
who drives from state to state.
My driver’s license literally \h\his my employment permit.
Without that, I cannot -- I will effectively be unemployed."
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAnd I can see the cop thinking about it.
The cop goes, "Alright, well, here’s what we gon’ do, man.
Rather than take you to jail,
give me the keys to your car
and I want you to walk \hback to your hotel."
-20.
\h\h\h\hTwo miles or be unemployed?
Which do you choose?
The walk! The walk!
\hThe walk! I said, "T-Thank you, sir,"
and I fucking froze.
\hSome two miles in -20 might as well have been
40 miles. Like, it -- I almost \h\h\h\h\hdied. I almost died.
But the next morning, I go down to the front desk of the hotel,
and I’ll be damned --
\h\hthis police officer was a man of his word.
At the front desk was my car keys,
and he had them wrapped up in a nice little Jesus brochure.
I didn’t like that.
Now that, I didn’t like.
’Cause he was treating me \hlike I just needed AA,
and like, -- like I needed \h\h\h\hJesus or something.
He had all the Bible verses -- \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hthe little --
you know how, like, \h\h\hyou get drunk
\h\hand they give you them "get your shit together" brochures?
\h\h\h\hHe had my car keys stuffed in a bunch of them
"get your shit together" \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hbrochures
\h\h\h\hand I’m like, "I don’t need Jesus.
I just need to use \h\hmy turn signal.
\h\h\hIf I had done that, we would have never met."
But that moment, man -- \h\hthat moment changed
my trajectory for the rest of \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hmy life.
I never buzzed drive, \h\h\h\hdrunk drive,
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hnever did anything of the like again,
and I didn’t have to go to jail \h\h\h\h\hto learn that lesson.
And I’m thankful to that cop \h\h\h\h\h\h\hfor doing that.
Like, I really appreciate it,
and it’s a story I never forgot.
And it’s also a story \hI could never share
at a Black barbershop.
They would run me out of \h\h\h\h\hthe barbershop.
\h\hAs soon as I go in the barbershop and say,
"I sat in the front seat \h\h\h\hof a police car."
\h\hThey’d be like, "Aww, get the fuck out of here.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hMan, you lying. You ain’t never sit no front.
0.07 and in the front seat?! \h\h\h\hAww, shut yo ass up."
’Cause here’s the thing -- \h\h\h\h\h\h\hif you Black
and you had a good run-in \h\h\h\hwith the police,
you’re basically the farmer \h\h\h\hthat saw the alien.
That’s who you are.
That’s how you sound. You sound \h\hlike the farmer who saw --
"I’m telling you what I saw! \hIt was some bright lights.
\h\hSomething grabbed me, then it just let me go."
Like, man, shut yo ass up.
The last Black person to have \h\h\ha positive interaction
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hwith the police and speak about it on the record
is Ice Cube.
\h\h\h\h\h\h"Just yesterday, them fools tried to blast me.
Saw the police and they..."
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAudience: "Rolled right past me."
That was 30 years ago, y’all.
And we never forgot \h\h\hthat one cop.
And he didn’t even do shit to \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hIce Cube.
He ain’t pull him over and give him ice cream.
He just let him go.
Ice Cube was sitting at \h\h\h\h\ha red light,
that cop saw Ice Cube \h\h\hand drove off,
and Ice Cube was like, \h"Oh, shit, I gotta go
to the studio right now.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hCall D.J. Pooh. We got to fucking make a track
about this shit.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWhat’s the score of the Lakers Supersonic game?"
[ Audience laughs ]
[ Man cheers ]
Anything to feel good.
But you got to be careful, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hthough.
’Cause a lot of people out there, the only way
they know how to feel good \his to make you feel bad.
\hYou got to keep your head on a swivel for these folks
\h\h\h’cause they out there and they ain’t doing well.
They ain’t doing well.
[ Applause ]
\h\hThey got a full clip, they got an empty heart,
and they ain’t had a crab leg \h\h\h\h\h\h\hin a long time.
You gotta keep your head \h\h\h\h\h\hon a swivel.
Them folks got guns. They ready to shoot up whatever, anywhere.
\hThat’s why we gotta bring back profiling.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI’m gonna be real. Like, I know it ain’t worked out
well for us,
but there’s a lot of different \h\h\h\h\hways you can profile,
\h\h\h\h\h\hnot just racial. I ain’t say racial profiling.
Just bring back profiling.
Trying to stop these \h\h\hmass shootings,
\h\hthere’s certain stuff you got to be looking for
on people in public.
\h\h\hLike when I’m out, I be checking everybody’s haircut.
That’s the first thing \h\h\h\h\h\hI look at.
\h\hI don’t trust nobody with a messed-up haircut.
There’s too many different ways \h\hto edge yourself up for $3.
\hLook -- Go look at the mug shot.
Look at the mug shot of any mass shooter.
All of ’em, fucked up haircut.
Just sideways. [ Whines ]
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hThat’s what we need to be focused on.
\h\h\h\h\h\hEvery time a mass shooting happen,
we ask all the wrong questions.
"What about -- what about mental health awareness?
What about -- what about \h\h\h\h\hthe gun laws?"
\h\hFuck all that. Who was his barber?
\hWho gave him the murder cut? That’s who we need to talk to.
You got to be on the lookout.
You got to be on the lookout \h\h\h\h\h\h\hin this country
\h\h\h\h\h\hfor people that ain’t doing well.
I was in Home Depot. The dude -- I was walking in the Home Depot.
The dude in front of me was walking diagonally.
\h\hI was like, "Eh. I’m good."
I left. I went to Lowe’s.
I was like, "I gotta \h\hget out of here."
Don’t be around no diagonals.
I am a perpendicular American, \h\h\h\h\hand I don’t trust...
I went and talked to the manager and everything.
I turned into a Karen. I went to the manager.
I was like, "You know you got \h\h\hsome diagonals in here?
\h\h\h\hBetter go in here and find these diagonals
and get them out."
Mass shootings, man. \h\h\hMass shootings
especially fucked up if you from the hood.
It’s especially messed up if you from the hood, a mass shooting.
That was the whole point of getting out the hood,
was to get away from the murder.
That’s what they tell you, \h\hgrowing up in the hood.
"Get you an education, \h\h\h\hget you a job,
get out there and see \h\h\h\h\hthe world."
\h\h\h\h\h\hWell, bitch, I did. They shooting over there, too.
I’m back.
I’m better off here \h\hthe whole time.
Say what you want \habout the hood,
\h\h\hbut at least they shoot motherfuckers one at a time.
You got a chance.
I understand gentrification now. I get it.
White folks coming back \haround Black people,
where it’s safe.
Welcome back.
"Oh, my God. Did you see all \h\h\hthat murder out there?
It’s okay, I’m an ally. \h\h\hGood to meet you.
Whew! Where can I get some \halmond milk around here?
\h\hOh, it’s okay. I’ll buy the block.
But good to meet you, though. \h\h\h\h\hGood to meet you."
You got to watch out \h\hfor these folks.
\h\h\hRecognize the signs, and the people that you care about,
check on them.
\h\h\h\h’Cause there’s some people out there,
the only way they know \h\h\hhow to feel good
is to make themselves feel bad.
\h\h\h\hHappiness is such a foreign concept to them
that the moment that happiness even remotely presents itself,
they’ll self-sabotage it.
We all been there. You gotta \h\h\hrecognize these people
who make themselves feel bad. \h\h\h\hYou know who they are
\h\h\h\h\hin your circles. It’s the people in your --
in your phone that don’t do \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hnothing
but watch documentaries.
You gotta check on these people.
Them documentary people, \hthere’s something wrong
with them.
And I’m not attacking you. \hIf that’s your crab leg,
hey, enjoy your crab leg. \hBut here’s the thing --
here’s the thing with \hthem documentaries.
\h\h\hThe problem with your documentary people
\h\h\his that y’all watch, like, 8, 9 of them in a row
and then keep recommending \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hthem to us
\h\h\h\hand recommending and recommending, and --
"Have you seen the documentary \h\h\h\h\habout the fucking --"
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h"No! No, nigga. I ain’t watched the last five
you told me to watch."
I know the world is fucked up. \h\h\h\h\hI don’t need to hear
narration over a documentary \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hevery time.
\h\h\h\hAnd I’m not saying don’t watch documentaries.
\hI love a good documentary, but after two documentaries,
\h\hI have to watch me the "Paw Patrol" movie
for balance.
Yeah, you need leverage.
Can’t be watching all them \h\hdocumentaries in a row.
\h\h\hYou know them documentary people.
They never in a good mood.
You know the problem with you \h\h\h\h\hdocumentary people?
It’s that y’all don’t like --
you gotta be more excited \h\hwhen you pitching it.
\h\h\hY’all never -- You’re never upbeat.
You know, I would watch \h\h\h\ha documentaries
if you came to it like, \h\h\h"Hey, man, I saw
\h\h\h\ha great documentary about the end of the world.
It’s a good documentary."
But that’s not how \hy’all come to us.
\h\hY’all come to us all cryptic and shit.
"I just thought documentary \h\h\h\h\habout the thing,
and they found two fingers inside the tire of the car
and they traced the fingers \h\h\h\hback to a Whopper."
[ Grunts ]
Ah, man.
\hAll I’m saying, if you gon’ watch a couple documentaries,
man, you got to break it up. Watch a "Fresh Prince" rerun.
Do something else.
Respectfully. I don’t know you, \h\h\h\h\h\h\hbut respectfully.
[ Chuckles ]
\h\hMan. Watch too many of them documentaries,
you become a diagonal.
I don’t want that for you.
\h\h\h\h\hThat seems like a nice perpendicular woman right there.
\h\h\hIt’s the same thing with Civil Rights movies.
\hSame thing, same thing with Civil Rights movies.
It'll alter you.
You know, matter of fact -- matter of fact,
I think all these streaming --
like, all these streaming services, they should...
Black people shouldn't be allowed
to watch more than two a year.
Just to help keep us calm. For our own mental health.
You should not be -- 'Cause you know what they do.
Like, you watch one slavery, and then the algorithm show you
12 more slaveries to choose from.
You cannot watch 12 slaveries in a week
and be normal.
You'd be walking around work mad as a motherfucker.
You'd just...
Two slavery max. Like, that's --
Like, after you watch your second slavery,
like, a prompt should just come up on the screen.
"Hey, dawg, that's enough.
You good, bro. You caught up.
Just watch your two slaveries and keep it moving, man.
But you know there's a 'Paw Patrol' movie?
Let me get you the 'Paw Patrol' movie real quick, bro."
I know a lot of people don't like those movies.
I understand it.
I understand the feeling. It's Black pain.
It's terrible shit being documented on screen.
People making money off of it.
You know, but our history gotta be somewhere.
It ain't in the textbooks.
So...
[ Applause ]
Till we get some better options,
we just got to have a couple struggle movies
every now and then. It is what it is.
But I'll tell you what throw me off, though --
I'll be watching them Civil Rights movies, man.
What throw me off -- I'll watch a Civil Rights movie
and be like, "Ooh, that was a good-ass movie."
Then two weeks later, you find out the main Black dude
in the movie is British.
You be like, "Ah, shit.
Motherfucker got me!"
'Cause them Black Brits, they good.
The anger is a compliment.
Them Black Brits, they so good, it feel like betrayal.
You be watching the movie, this motherfucker be
Martin Luther King -- "I have a dream and in a dream,
and I'll be dreaming it in a dream."
And then you see him two weeks later in the interview.
[ British accent ] "Well, my [gibbers indistinctly]
Alright, now, me niggas."
[ Normal Voice ] I'm like, "Why is Dr. King talking like this?"
And this might not be an issue for most people,
but every Black person remember the day they found out
Idris Elba wasn't from Baltimore.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Oh, my God.
That was a troubling day in the Black American community.
It's like finding out your daddy wasn't your daddy.
Idris Elba, that's Stringer Bell from "The Wire."
That's Stringer Bell, dawg.
Like, "Naw, dawg, that motherfucker from over there."
"No, he ain't! You shut the fuck up!"
And then you saw Idris.
You saw him in the interview.
[British accent] "Well, I tell you, for breakfast,
me love a warm bowl of beans."
[ Normal voice ] They're like, "Oh!
This nigga eat beans for breakfast?!
Aww, not my dawg.
Not my dawg.
Oh! Oh!"
I think -- I think part of the rift
between Black Americans and Black Brits,
it just boils down to we don't know enough about
foreign Black people's struggle.
We don't know enough about Black British people
because they don't teach us they history,
and if I don't know your pain,
I can't trust you to portray mine on camera.
That's -- That's the issue.
But it ain't Black Brits' fault. It ain't they fault
we don't know shit about they history.
They ain't teaching us foreign racism in America.
We ain't learning about the struggle across
the diaspora. We just now learning about Tulsa.
That shit happened 'round the corner.
Yeah, we too busy learning Roman numerals
in America.
They ain't teaching you about the struggle across
the diaspora. They only gon' teach you --
"Well, thank God I know the Roman numerals.
Now I know which Super Bowl we on."
[ Audience laughs ]
Fucking idiots.
So a different type of nigga pull up to the country,
you don't know shit about them. "You ain't my fucking --"
[ Mutters ]
We don't know nothing about Brits, not for real.
And then, on the same token,
Black Brits don't know nothing about us.
You know, they ain't learning American racism over there.
They ain't learning -- In England? Shit.
You think they learning about American racism?
And England is racism corporate headquarters.
Like, that's --
That is where it's created.
So you know these Black Brits coming over here,
they don't even know that they walking into a situation
that benefits them more than the people
that's been on the ground longer than them.
And that's the riff. We just don't know.
[ Applause ]
Don't know shit, man.
There's gotta be something going on in England, man.
There's gotta be some racism over there, man.
They ran off Meghan Markle.
You know how jacked up your country got to be
to not fuck with rating Meghan Markle?
You don't fuck with Meghan Markle?
They ran her out of there.
One of our best biracial double agents.
They sniffed her out immediately.
Meghan Markle could pass for 8, 9 different races in America,
but in England they was like, [British accent] "Mm, no.
Something's off with that bird. Nah."
Too many nigglers in her nabblers, if you know...
Alright."
[ Normal voice ] England was so racist to Meghan Markle,
she came back to America and stayed at Tyler Perry's house.
Do you understand how frustrated you have to be with racism?
A pain that only Madea could fix.
Then -- then she talked to Oprah.
She was dealing with so much racism she had to talk
to two of the most powerful Black women in the country.
Had to get Madea and Oprah, had to double up.
And poor Oprah Winfrey.
Oprah was interviewing Meghan Markle.
Oprah didn't have no solutions for that woman.
That's how complicated racism is in England.
Oprah couldn't help her. Oprah, Oprah.
This is a woman who has built her empire
on giving us solutions to our problems.
That's all Oprah's done.
She had the talk show, she had the damn magazine,
she's got a TV network.
It's all promoting positive imagery
to make you a better you.
Meghan Markle sat down in that backyard
with Oprah for two hours,
all she did was make faces.
Couldn't help Meghan.
Meghan Markle poured her heart out to Oprah.
Oprah's just sitting there like, "Hmm.
Hmm.
Oh!
I can't help you with that, baby.
You gotta talk to the ancestors."
[ Applause ]
"Gayle, let's go. I can't help her.
We got to go, Gayle."
Yeah.
These Civil Rights movies, man.
They're painful, but they're necessary.
\h\his the original "Fast and Furious."
I’m sure you have your favorite, but the original,
not the sequels, the original, \h\hthe OG "Fast and Furious."
That’s one of the most powerful fucking films.
\h\h\h\hPaul Walker -- If you don’t remember,
if you never saw the OG \h\h"Fast and Furious,"
Paul Walker...
Paul Walker is a cop \h\h\hin this movie.
Paul Walker’s job in the movie \h\h\h\h\h\his to go undercover
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hand take down a treacherous street-racing game
that’s being run by a Black, \h\h\h\h\h\hMexican-looking,
Dominican, Italian...
Persian --
\h\hWhatever Vin Diesel is, he’s got to take him down.
He’s got to take him down, \h\h\hand he does his job.
\h\h\h\hPaul Walker does his job, Vin Diesel finds out he’s a cop,
\h\h\h\h\h\htakes off, Paul Walker peeps came,
Vin Diesel crashes.
Paul Walker gives Vin Diesel \h\h\h\hthe keys to his car.
Vin Diesel speeds away to freedom,
and for the next 9, \h\h10, 15 sequels,
all Vin Diesel has done \h\h\his save the world
over and over again with \hnothing but minorities.
It’s beautiful.
\h\h\hAll he’s done is hire minorities left and right,
formed a BIPOC coalition \h\h\h\hof street racers.
\hHe hired Tyrese, he hired Ludacris,
he hired Bow Wow, he hired Ja Rule,
hired Michelle Rodriguez,
\hgrabbed the Asian from "Tokyo Drift,"
\h\h\hEva Mendes, even Wonder Woman
was in one of the damn movies.
\h\h\hHe hired The Rock, whatever the fuck he is.
The original "Fast and Furious"
is proof of what a minority \h\h\h\h\h\his capable of,
\h\h\h\hif every now and then, the police just let a nigga go.
[ Cheers and applause ]
I’m just saying.
It’s the only Civil Rights movie with a sequel,
I’ll say that.
I like "Selma." "Selma" ain’t \h\h\h\hgot no sequel, do it?
No, it don’t.
Ain’t no "Selma 2: More Selma."
Still walking, more "Selma."
I’mma e-mail Ava DuVernay, \h\h\hand I’mma pitch that.
"Ava, I got an idea for a new ’Selma.’"
[ Laughs ]
Oh, man.
Anything to feel good.
We got people out there, man,
\h\hthey doing whatever they can to feel good.
They’re helping other people.
That’s their crab leg, \h\h\hand I like that.
I love seeing charity, \h\h\h\h\hphilanthropy,
\h\hpeople pouring into other people.
\hYou know what I really love seeing the last couple years?
\h\h\h\hIs seeing all of these celebrities
that’s getting folks \h\h\h\hout of jail.
Now, that’s dope.
That’s been dope to see.
[ Applause ]
\h\hThese celebrities ain’t messing around.
Damn, Maya Moore from the WNBA,
Alicia Keys and Kim Kardashian.
Even Kim Kardashian’s ass \h\h\h\hgot somebody out.
No matter how you feel \habout Kim Kardashian,
you gotta fucking tip the hat
\h\h\hthat ass got a Black woman free.
You appreciate her.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hThem celebrities make it look easy as hell, too.
They be getting folks \h\h\h\h\hout of jail
the way you get folks in VIP.
"Yeah, that’s my homeboy \h\h\h\h\h\hright there.
Come on.
Yeah, him and him, \h\h\h\hthey good.
Yeah, get them out. \h\h\h\h\h\h\hYeah.
Yeah, right there next to the electric chair.
\h\h\h\hThat’s him. Yeah, get him out.
Okay."
What I don’t like, though -- \h\h\h\hWhat I don’t like...
\h\h\hWhat’s weird is that when a celebrity gets somebody free,
that’s the one time they become humble.
That’s backwards.
As soon as they get somebody \h\h\h\h\h\h\hout of prison,
\h\h\h\h\h\hthey bring them to the Freedom Conference,
and they put them up front.
"Here they are. They are free.
And this is -- this moment \h\h\h\h\h\his about them."
No!
\h\h\hIf I got you out the jaws of injustice,
I’m being your fucking \hP. Diddy immediately.
I would fucking Puff Daddy \h\hthat press conference.
I pushed a free ass out the way.
Boom, "I’m the one freed him.
It’s your boy, R. Wood, \hBirmingham, Alabama.
\h\h\h205, represent, 35211, motherfucker,
and he free ’cause of me, dawg.
What’s up?"
\h’Cause that’s how you get other celebrities on board.
You make them jealous.
\h\h\h’Cause it ain’t enough celebrities doing that shit,
but it’s a lot of celebrities \htalking about what diamond
they got and what car they got, \h\h\h\hand "Look at my house."
Bitch, how many people have you \h\h\h\h\h\hfreed from prison?
Flex that.
\h\hThat’s what you should be flexing,
’cause can I tell you right now, if I got somebody free
the federal government,
that’s like beating \h\hthe ’96 Bulls.
Do you understand?
\h\h\hIf I got somebody free from the federal government,
that’s all you would \h\h\h\hknow about me
for the next five years.
Motherfucker wouldn’t even be allowed to go \hnowhere without me.
I’d Jeff Dunham ventriloquist \h\h\h\h\hthat motherfucker.
He’d be on my hip right here \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hfor five --
"Come on, motherfucker, \h\h\h\hI got you out.
We going -- We going to \h\h\h\h\hWaffle House.
Come with me, motherfucker."
I’d walk the red carpet \h\h\h\h\h\h\hwith him.
"So, Roy, I see you on the red carpet.
What are you wearing?" \h\h"His name is Keith.
I got him out.
\h\h\h\hThis my dawg. How you doing, Keith?
\h\h\h\h\hSay something to the people, Keith."
"I’m happy to be free." \h\h"Good job, Keith."
I love seeing it,
and it was in seeing \h\hthose celebrities
get people out of jail that I \hfinally found my crab leg.
I’ve been on BET \h\hthree times.
[ Cheers and applause ]
You know?
You know, my YouTube channel \h\hgot 100,000 subscribers.
That’s nothing to clap at. \h\h\h\h\hThat’s no money.
[ Laughs ]
Yeah.
I figured it out, man.
My childhood next-door neighbor \h\h\his in prison for murder.
\h\hHe been gone 20 years so far.
And when I say -- When I say \h\h\h\h\hnext-door neighbor,
I mean literally next door.
Like, on report card day,
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hwe could hear each other’s ass whoopings.
You know, in the hood, \h\hon report card day,
\hyou know, it sound like a zombie attack
all over the neighborhood.
[ Groaning ]
And you get to the bus stop \h\h\h\h\hthe next morning
and tease each other.
"Well, look, I heard \hyour ass whooping."
"That wasn’t my ass whooping. \hThat was his ass whooping."
My dawg, Johnny Lee, man.
\h\h\h\h\hJohnny Lee, that’s an Alabama-ass name for your ass.
She said, "Not Johnny Lee."
Yes, baby, Johnny. \hDo you know him?
Yes, Johnny Lee.
My dawg, Johnny Lee, man, he was the getaway driver
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hin a robbery that turned into a murder.
He didn’t pull the trigger, \hwasn’t even in the store,
but state of Alabama \hgave him 99 years.
\h\h\hAnd I don’t know what the laws are here,
\h\h\hbut in Alabama, the law’s basically,
if I’m with you and you murder, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hwe murdered,
which damn that.
They murdered.
\h\h\hAnd I understand the spirit of the law.
It’s to make you watch \hthe company you keep,
but it’s a lot of court systems,
\h\hthey use that law to lock up two people for the price of one,
and it don’t feel right.
It don’t feel right.
It’s the same thing with drugs. \h\hThe same thing with drugs.
Like, if I’m with you \hand you got crack,
somehow we got crack.
\hHow we both got crack? It’s one -- It’s a crack.
\hWe cannot both smoke...a crack.
You’ve seen the crack pipe. \h\h\hIt’s one mouthpiece.
We can’t...
There is no couples \h\h\h\hcrack pipe.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hLike, we cannot Lady and the Tramp the crack.
Look, I can see if they found \h\h\h\h\h\h\ha crack hookah.
Okay, fine, you got me.
Tell me, can you smoke crack in \h\h\h\ha hookah? I don’t know.
We’ll talk about it later.
But that’s the law.
\h\h\hSo 99 years was the sentence,
and I know that part of it --
I know that part of it \h\his who they killed.
They killed this man, \hMr. Mohammed, man.
\h\hAnd Mr. Mohammed, he ran a Black-owned
record store in Birmingham.
Killed a Black business owner,
This man ran this record \h\h\h\hstore for years,
this assault to the comm-- \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hSidebar.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYoung people, a record store is a place...
In the before times, there was a building
\hyou would go to to buy the music.
It did not just come \h\h\hto your phone.
You had to go to a building \h\h\h\h\h\h\hand you say,
"Do you have the music?"
And then they would \h\hsay yes or no,
and then you would \h\hleave the mall.
A mall is a place...
...where there used to be jobs \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hand happiness.
It was a dope spot.
Old people would come there \h\h\h\h\h\h\hand exercise.
It was a good hang.
Mr. Mohammed, man.
Mr. Mohammed took the money \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hhe made
\h\h\h\hfrom that record store, and he would pour it right back
into the Black community \h\h\h\h\hin Birmingham.
He would -- Mentorship programs, police athletic leagues,
he’d buy blazers for kids
to wear to job interviews, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hall that.
\h\h\hThis is how much he loved Black people.
He supported local rappers.
Sidebar -- White people, \h\h\h\hlocal rappers...
are terrible.
\h\h\h\h\hAnd their dreams should never be supported.
98 percent of the rappers
from where you live \h\h\hare terrible.
They are not going to make it.
But Mr. Mohammed, he supported \h\h\h\h\hthem because he knew,
if they was in the studio, they wasn’t on the street.
\h\h\h\h\h\hSupported them, and I mean supported them.
Gave them prime real estate \h\h\h\h\hin the record --
would put their albums \h\h\h\hby the register
\h\hwhere you could see it, then guilt you into buying
and supporting local.
You’d show up -- I’d show up \h\h\h\h\hto the record store
to buy Cash Money and Master P \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hor whatever,
and he’d then size you up -- \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h"Oh, okay.
You supporting New Orleans,
\h\hbut I don’t see you supporting Birmingham."
Stare at you with them \h\hCivil Rights eyes.
"Hmm?
Hmm?
You buying all these out-of-town rappers.
You ain’t even bought the new
\h\h\h\h\h\h’Buckle Up, Knuckle Up Volume 2.’"
I’m like, "Who the fuck is \h\hBuckle Up, Knuckle Up?
\h\hI didn’t even know they had a volume one."
"I got that one right here, too, young blood.
Ain’t no thing.
Mnh!
Support both of them, hmm?
Hmm?"
You leave the record store with \h\h\h\h\h\h$80 worth of music.
Supported me.
That store supported me.
I used to do prank phone calls \h\h\h\h\h\h\hback in the day.
\h\hPrank phone calls was my first hustle.
The people who know, they know.
So they would take my pranks \h\hand put them in the store
\h\h\hand help me sell them, and that little bit of money
\h\h\hthat I made in that store from selling them prank calls,
\h\hthat was the difference between sleeping in my car
and sleeping in a hotel \h\h\h\h\hon the road.
Like, that money...
[ Applause ]
It ain’t a lot of money,
\h\h\h\h\h\h’cause it was either Mr. Mohammed or his son, Darius.
It was usually his son, Darius.
\hDarius was the one who would call me up
\h\h\h\hevery week to give me the count on Monday morning.
You wanted a call from \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hDarius
\h’cause that means you have some bread coming.
"Hey, young blood, \h\h\h\hgood news.
You sold three.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hCome on down here and get your $18, young blood."
And I raced to that store \h\h\h\h\hto get them $18
because that little bit of money saved my life, dawg.
That store supported people.
[ Applause ]
And that’s who they killed.
That’s who they killed, \h\h\h\hand I don’t --
I’m not gonna sit here \h\h\h\h\hand say that
20 years is enough time,
\h\h\h\h\h\hbut I know 99 ain’t the number either.
So I called up Darius.
I called up Mr. Mohammed’s son,
I called up Darius, \h\hand we’re cool,
but we don’t talk \hon the regular.
But we’re cool enough.
\hAnd I call up Darius, and I start walking --
\h\h\hwalking him through what I’m thinking about,
trying to get Johnny Lee --
\h\htrying to get him eligible for parole.
And Darius stopped me dead \h\h\h\h\h\h\hin my tracks.
\h\h\h\hHe said, "Roy, if that man
\h\h\hgets out of prison, it’ll kill my mama, too."
And that’s something I had never considered in the whole time
that I’ve been thinking \h\h\habout doing this,
\h\h\hbecause the thing is that once you get locked in
on something and what you want to do and what your agenda is,
you forget about all the other people that have been affected
by something.
And I lost sight of that.
I ain’t never had nobody \hin my family murdered,
\h\hso I didn’t even have the perspective.
\h\h\hI learned two things in talking to this brother.
First thing I learned, \h\h\h\h\h\hnumber one,
if it ain’t your pain, \h\hit ain’t your place
\h\h\h\h\hto tell somebody when to get past something.
So...
[ Applause ]
Folks be suffering and dealing \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hwith stuff.
"You need to get over that. \h\h\h\h\h\hYou need to..."
\h\h\h\hOh, man, you got to let them process that.
That’s they journey.
\hThat’s they journey, and I hope that brother
forgives me, because what I did \h\h\hwas hella disrespectful.
\h\hYou’re 20 years past the death of your father,
and some goofy-ass comedian \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hcall you,
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h"Hey, man, I saw Kim Kardashian fat ass
get somebody out of prison."
\h\h\hWhat you think -- you and me help get..."
I just hope the brother \hwill forgive me, man.
I was just trying to feel good.
\h\h\hOther thing I learned in talking to this brother is also
I’m not famous enough \h\h\h\hto get nobody
out of prison any damn way.
Not Alabama.
I ain’t got the résumé.
I need to host "The Daily Show."
Correspondent ain’t enough.
That might be enough \h\h\h\hin Colorado,
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hbut trust me, it ain’t enough in Alabama.
Ain’t but two people getting you out of prison in Alabama.
That’s Nick Saban and barbecue. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hThat’s it.
But I understand what Darius \h\h\h\h\h\his going through.
I understand what that brother’s going through
in the sense of revenge, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hyou know?
Anything to feel good.
And I'm here to tell you,
it do feel good.
Oh, my God. Revenge feel good.
I'm ain't saying it's full of nutrients.
It ain't gonna help you in the long run,
but in the short run, it feels good
to get a little revenge on somebody sometimes.
'Cause revenge, that's an impulse
we learn at an early age.
We learn revenge early.
It's not taught, it's something that's just in us,
because you see someone who got away with something,
and they ain't got they thought behind the ear yet,
and you gotta make the world right.
My son, when he was 4, bit a kid at school.
4 years old, just chomped down on another boy's flesh,
just chomping, like Rottweilers.
Like...
He didn't bite and disengage.
[ Grunts ]
So -- So we go to the school.
We go to the school for the bite meeting.
You know, this is what they do with the parents.
They sit us down.
They sit us down for the bite meeting,
and come to find out at the bite meeting
my boy bit the same kid
that bit him the year before.
That's all in the game, fam.
This is not an incident. This is justice.
Like, I was proud. I was proud of my boy,
'cause not only did he bite this child,
but he waited a year to do it.
Do you know how diabolical that is?
This is a bite. This is an intimate attack.
This ain't throwing a rock from across the park.
You got to lure somebody in to bite them.
That means you gotta earn they trust.
You've gotta share snacks. You've gotta share toys.
And then one day on the yard, when the CO wasn't looking,
he go [growls]
I'm like, "Good job, dawg. Good job with that."
We act like revenge is a substitute for healing,
and that's the problem.
Revenge is not a substitute for healing.
Because no matter what, no matter what wrong
has been done to you, no matter how mean
you think somebody did you, at the end of the day,
it's on you to heal yourself.
Forgiveness is an internal journey.
It's the truth.
So you can be mad at them as long as you want,
but it ain't gonna fix it.
You got to fucking do that work on your own.
But in the meantime, talk that shit.
This concept of never letting go of something,
even after people have apologized,
even after people have tried to work with you to heal on it?
I understand.
If you don't understand that, go to a Civil Rights museum.
Then you'll understand the concept of never forgiving.
'Cause you go to a Civil Rights museum,
I don't know about y'all, but when I leave
a Civil Rights museum, I am not in a forgiving mood.
I'm not ready to have a dialogue.
Them Civil Rights mu-- That's why I like the way
they design these new Civil Rights museums
they've been building, where they put a bunch
of good news right before the exit.
Have you seen that? The new Civil Rights museums,
all of them, just, it's struggle, struggle, struggle.
Every level, it's just struggle, struggle, struggle.
And then you get up to the top level
right before you leave, it's like,
hey, Whitney Houston, Obama, Issa Rae.
And you leave and you feel good.
Like, "Alright, yeah, that is some good news.
Yeah, I like that Issa Rae.
I ain't gonna fight no white people today.
I feel good."
'Cause you go through the Civil Rights museum,
you don't want to let that shit go.
She didn't even happen to me, that's not my generation,
but it is my history, and I'm still mad.
Still mad, and it's been way more than 20 fucking years.
You go through these pictures...
You know what's wild about a Civil Rights museum,
is that you can look
at these pictures of these people,
these Black people being defamed, being defiled,
and just syrup in they head,
and people hitting them with sticks.
And what's wild is to realize in that moment
that most of the people in those pictures are still alive.
That's the wild shit about a Civil Rights museum.
They are showing you people
that are mostly still taking in breath on this earth.
The Black people in the picture alive,
so if they alive, motherfucker, that mean
the white people in the picture alive, too.
Where they at?
[ Applause ]
'Cause that's who I want to have a dialogue with.
Track down these motherfuckers, but you can't find them,
because in the picture, they all nice and young.
You don't know what they look like today at old age.
If only there was an app...
[ Cheers and applause ]
I hope you feel good, Denver.
Good night. Thank you all.
[ Cheers and applause ]
I hope you feel good.
Thank you all.
You've been playing in this box this whole time?
Not really.
What makes you happy?