1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.MX

2
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,883
‪NETFLIX 喜劇特輯

3
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

4
00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:11,302
‪你知道那些人其實是演員嗎？

5
00:00:11,386 --> 00:00:12,762
‪不會吧

6
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,014
‪-對啊
‪-真不敢相信

7
00:00:14,097 --> 00:00:15,306
‪尼克，你要吃點蛋嗎？

8
00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:17,809
‪不要，哥哥，我在吃巴西莓

9
00:00:17,892 --> 00:00:21,604
‪這是天然的抗氧化物，而且超好吃

10
00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:23,481
‪瞧瞧這位好萊塢巨星

11
00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:27,026
‪對啊，葛妮絲派特洛找你
‪你“蒸陰道”療程快遲到了

12
00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:29,738
‪哈哈，自以為幽默

13
00:00:29,821 --> 00:00:32,574
‪對了，尼克，巴西莓應該叫“阿薩伊果”

14
00:00:33,241 --> 00:00:34,617
‪才不是

15
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,786
‪才不是，是巴西莓

16
00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:40,999
‪其實應該叫做藜麥才對

17
00:00:41,082 --> 00:00:42,500
‪你在講什麼啦？

18
00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:44,210
‪是巴西莓

19
00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:45,754
‪-巴西莓？
‪-巴西莓

20
00:00:45,837 --> 00:00:46,671
‪-藜麥
‪-好吧，大家可以別吵了嗎？

21
00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:48,381
‪天啊，你好臭

22
00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:50,842
‪算了，我們不應該吵這件事的

23
00:00:51,301 --> 00:00:53,678
‪我們都成年了，不應該鬥嘴...

24
00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:57,140
‪他把鬆餅丟到我的臉上嗎？

25
00:00:57,223 --> 00:00:58,391
‪他把鬆餅丟到你臉上

26
00:01:05,690 --> 00:01:06,941
‪接招

27
00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:14,365
‪喂！

28
00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:16,076
‪好吧，兄弟們

29
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:18,036
‪你們想開戰嗎？

30
00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:20,413
‪我們去地下室吧

31
00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:23,792
‪各位，歡迎蒞臨
‪喬納斯兄弟鬥陣俱樂部

32
00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:26,753
‪喬納斯兄弟鬥陣俱樂部有幾個規定

33
00:01:26,836 --> 00:01:29,172
‪喬納斯兄弟鬥陣俱樂部的第一條規定

34
00:01:29,255 --> 00:01:31,466
‪就是我們不能談論
‪喬納斯兄弟鬥陣俱樂部

35
00:01:31,549 --> 00:01:33,635
‪喬納斯兄弟鬥陣俱樂部的第二條規定

36
00:01:33,718 --> 00:01:34,803
‪寶貝

37
00:01:34,886 --> 00:01:37,305
‪對，我在喬納斯兄弟鬥陣俱樂部

38
00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:39,974
‪很酷，我們在地下室

39
00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:42,769
‪我們有一大堆祕密規定

40
00:01:42,852 --> 00:01:44,312
‪-老弟
‪-幹嘛？

41
00:01:44,395 --> 00:01:45,939
‪祕密規定

42
00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:49,192
‪-對哦，規定
‪-對啊

43
00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:52,570
‪我再回電給妳，愛妳唷...再見

44
00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:54,572
‪抱歉，你剛才說到哪裡？

45
00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:57,242
‪兒子們，你們最好別把地下室
‪弄得亂七八糟

46
00:01:57,325 --> 00:01:59,410
‪你們的鬥陣俱樂部蠢得要死

47
00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:00,995
‪-不，沒有啦
‪-不是那個啦

48
00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:02,163
‪-絕對不會的
‪-我們只是...

49
00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:03,248
‪我們在一起看A片

50
00:02:03,331 --> 00:02:06,126
‪什麼？你瞎掰的功力真爛

51
00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:08,253
‪-這傢伙
‪-對啊

52
00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:10,463
‪第三條規定最重要，不可以揍臉

53
00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:11,464
‪我們太帥了，不可以揍臉

54
00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:12,382
‪-那是當然
‪-廢話

55
00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:14,926
‪-你們有仔細看過這張臉嗎？
‪-好了

56
00:02:15,009 --> 00:02:16,386
‪-我們開始吧
‪-來吧

57
00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:22,767
‪等等，我們在幹嘛？

58
00:02:23,768 --> 00:02:25,061
‪我們是兄弟

59
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,771
‪兄弟不會這麼做

60
00:02:27,438 --> 00:02:28,690
‪他們會這麼做...

61
00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:31,734
‪洛基，你為什麼這麼做？

62
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:34,112
‪洛基，你為什麼這麼做？

63
00:02:34,195 --> 00:02:36,072
‪-你才不是索爾
‪-我當然是索爾

64
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:38,032
‪你以為我要當洛基

65
00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:40,618
‪這個家裡誰是洛基應該很清楚吧

66
00:02:40,702 --> 00:02:43,329
‪洛基，你為什麼這麼做？

67
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:45,498
‪拜託，凱文，真的要這樣嗎？

68
00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:47,083
‪各位，我很英勇

69
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,502
‪《嫁給喬納斯》第二季裡
‪你們沒看到我如何處理

70
00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:51,421
‪丹妮她妹的畢業典禮嗎？

71
00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:53,673
‪等等，那個爛節目拍了兩季？

72
00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:55,800
‪各位，別吵了

73
00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:57,760
‪我們好好處理這件事

74
00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:00,555
‪你最好是讓我們回到
‪《搖滾夏令營》啦

75
00:03:00,638 --> 00:03:03,766
‪這是你入行的節目
‪真是典型的老二情結

76
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:07,186
‪-渴望被人注意
‪-我能說什麼呢？

77
00:03:08,062 --> 00:03:09,314
‪我很上鏡

78
00:03:09,397 --> 00:03:10,440
‪你們可以專心一點嗎？

79
00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:14,277
‪各位，我想回來這裡
‪因為我們這時最親近

80
00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:16,529
‪可以療癒過去的傷口

81
00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:18,156
‪不只是身為樂團成員，也是兄弟

82
00:03:18,823 --> 00:03:21,117
‪而且還能上台好好搖滾一番

83
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:25,997
‪如何？我們就出去搖滾一夏吧

84
00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:27,248
‪好耶

85
00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:28,625
‪各位，我真是以我們為榮

86
00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:31,753
‪我們都學會相親相愛

87
00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:34,380
‪我要去買咖啡，你們要喝什麼？

88
00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:37,091
‪-我要義式濃縮
‪-明明就是“意式濃縮”

89
00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:41,554
‪我要整死你這...

90
00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:44,766
‪他們得處理你那些賣不掉的單飛唱片

91
00:03:44,849 --> 00:03:45,725
‪對啊

92
00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:49,229
‪別以為我看不出來你的假面

93
00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:50,563
‪假喬納斯

94
00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:52,607
‪你的眉毛這麼濃密，你看得到嗎？

95
00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:57,278
‪各位...

96
00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:59,697
‪我有更好的辦法可以讓你們鬥嘴

97
00:04:01,991 --> 00:04:06,162
‪歡迎節目主持人，肯南湯普森

98
00:04:09,540 --> 00:04:11,668
‪大家好...

99
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:13,419
‪讚啦

100
00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:16,422
‪大家好嗎？

101
00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:20,802
‪各位晚安，先生，幸會

102
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:24,347
‪各位請坐，真是太熱情了

103
00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:25,556
‪謝謝各位

104
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:29,018
‪歡迎收看《喬納斯兄弟吐槽大會》

105
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,145
‪我是主持人基南湯普森

106
00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:32,772
‪謝謝各位

107
00:04:34,565 --> 00:04:37,568
‪各位女士先生，喬納斯兄弟在這裡

108
00:04:38,319 --> 00:04:39,362
‪沒錯

109
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,155
‪沒錯

110
00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:44,534
‪今晚的來賓有彼得大衛森

111
00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:47,537
‪莉莉辛恩

112
00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:51,165
‪傑克懷特霍爾

113
00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:52,500
‪約翰傳奇

114
00:04:53,751 --> 00:04:55,003
‪奈爾霍倫

115
00:04:55,586 --> 00:04:57,797
‪還有加布里爾伊格雷西亞
‪綽號“蓬鬆”

116
00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:02,176
‪這是家族事務

117
00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:06,556
‪所以兄弟們的另一半當然都出席了

118
00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:12,186
‪丹妮兒喬納斯、蘇菲透納
‪還有琵豔卡喬普拉喬納斯

119
00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:15,106
‪歡迎

120
00:05:15,189 --> 00:05:17,150
‪我們就開始吧

121
00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:19,986
‪被吐槽的人沒來，就不算吐槽大會了

122
00:05:20,528 --> 00:05:24,949
‪請掌聲歡迎凱文、喬和尼克

123
00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:28,453
‪就是喬納斯兄弟

124
00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:46,262
‪就是他們

125
00:05:46,804 --> 00:05:47,972
‪就是他們

126
00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:49,974
‪就是他們

127
00:05:52,685 --> 00:05:53,686
‪好耶

128
00:05:54,812 --> 00:05:56,856
‪各位，你們好嗎？

129
00:05:56,939 --> 00:05:58,775
‪期待今晚的吐槽大會嗎？

130
00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:01,027
‪對，基南，我們有點緊張沒錯

131
00:06:01,110 --> 00:06:04,530
‪但我相信有你在，今晚一定很搞笑

132
00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:07,366
‪還有這麼棒的觀眾，一定會很歡樂

133
00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:09,077
‪好秀上場了

134
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:13,164
‪你們有很多事要緊張，你們呼麻嗎？

135
00:06:14,373 --> 00:06:15,833
‪會，我現在已經嗨了

136
00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:17,668
‪不會吧

137
00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:18,961
‪開始了

138
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,546
‪好吧

139
00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:24,425
‪今晚我會引導各位
‪了解喬納斯兄弟的一切

140
00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:27,720
‪我告訴各位喬納斯兄弟的小故事

141
00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:29,097
‪我們開始吧

142
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:30,348
‪好耶

143
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:32,391
‪好的

144
00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:36,729
‪喬納斯兄弟小時候住在
‪紐澤西州懷科夫市

145
00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:40,274
‪-對
‪-所以他們是來自紐澤西州

146
00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:43,486
‪最知名的音樂家

147
00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:47,073
‪除了法蘭克辛納屈

148
00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:49,617
‪還有布魯斯史普林斯汀

149
00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:51,744
‪對了，還有惠妮休斯頓

150
00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:55,790
‪還有法蘭奇瓦里、昆恩拉蒂法
‪蘿琳希爾、喬治克雷頓

151
00:06:55,873 --> 00:06:57,166
‪庫爾伙伴、邦喬飛

152
00:06:57,250 --> 00:07:00,461
‪但是除了他們之外...

153
00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:03,381
‪紐澤西愛你們，懂吧？

154
00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:04,841
‪我喜歡，你們代表紐澤西

155
00:07:05,716 --> 00:07:07,969
‪-我們辦到了
‪-我們成功了...

156
00:07:08,052 --> 00:07:09,762
‪三兄弟從小就被愛他們的父母

157
00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:13,266
‪鼓勵他們追求對音樂的喜愛

158
00:07:13,349 --> 00:07:16,811
‪凱文和迪妮絲喬納斯是他們的父母

159
00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:19,605
‪凱文今晚出席了

160
00:07:21,315 --> 00:07:23,568
‪但迪妮絲不能來

161
00:07:23,651 --> 00:07:26,362
‪因為她有小賈斯汀的演唱會門票

162
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,531
‪有票怎麼可能不去

163
00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:30,116
‪好吧

164
00:07:30,199 --> 00:07:31,534
‪這就是他們全家福

165
00:07:33,369 --> 00:07:38,124
‪最前面這個小傢伙
‪是他們最小的弟弟，法蘭克林

166
00:07:38,207 --> 00:07:39,333
‪好耶

167
00:07:41,043 --> 00:07:46,048
‪有人嚴正告訴我
‪不准叫他“額外的喬納斯”

168
00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:48,342
‪既然他今晚沒來

169
00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:50,720
‪我就叫他“沒人要的喬納斯”

170
00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:53,556
‪小的時候

171
00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:56,309
‪喬納斯兄弟的各種奇裝異服

172
00:07:56,392 --> 00:07:59,353
‪根本沒人在乎，他們就是這麼紅

173
00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:01,063
‪看看他們有多可笑

174
00:08:03,774 --> 00:08:04,692
‪尼克

175
00:08:05,359 --> 00:08:07,069
‪幹嘛戴那個帽子？

176
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:08,237
‪我不知道

177
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:11,449
‪你看起來像槍與玫瑰樂團的
‪史萊許的怪咖繼子

178
00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:18,539
‪但是，無數條窄版領帶

179
00:08:18,623 --> 00:08:21,209
‪背心和裝飾用圍巾

180
00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:25,254
‪還是沒辦法讓人不注意他們的頭髮

181
00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:27,423
‪對啊

182
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,634
‪帥喔

183
00:08:30,134 --> 00:08:31,219
‪天哪

184
00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:32,345
‪你們看看

185
00:08:33,137 --> 00:08:34,263
‪我得承認他們很厲害

186
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:37,683
‪這真是我看過最奇怪的髮型

187
00:08:39,101 --> 00:08:41,771
‪每一位兄弟都有自己的特色

188
00:08:41,854 --> 00:08:44,815
‪我們先來看最寂寞的喬納斯

189
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:46,859
‪凱文

190
00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:48,736
‪（當你和一群朋友約好要見面

191
00:08:48,819 --> 00:08:50,404
‪結果你是第一個到的）

192
00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:52,782
‪有多寂寞？

193
00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:56,827
‪寂寞到這個迷因被轉傳上千次

194
00:08:57,870 --> 00:09:00,164
‪當你和一群朋友約好要見面

195
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:02,124
‪結果你是第一個到的

196
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:04,418
‪凱文，沒關係啦

197
00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:05,586
‪俗話說

198
00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:08,214
‪沒有蜜雪兒威廉斯，就不算真命天女

199
00:09:08,297 --> 00:09:10,216
‪就是這樣

200
00:09:10,299 --> 00:09:12,176
‪各位，這可是吐槽大會

201
00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:13,761
‪我們就是要吐槽

202
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,639
‪好了

203
00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:22,103
‪接著是喬喬納斯
‪喬納斯兄弟中的密特羅姆尼參議員

204
00:09:22,186 --> 00:09:23,813
‪密特羅姆...

205
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:28,901
‪沒錯，他長得活像一杯牛奶

206
00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:30,987
‪我超愛的

207
00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:33,531
‪有趣的是，喬曾在接受訪問時說

208
00:09:33,614 --> 00:09:37,326
‪他最喜歡的網站是YouTube

209
00:09:38,202 --> 00:09:41,330
‪喬，你還是真夠先進的

210
00:09:42,123 --> 00:09:45,126
‪當然，還有樂團裡最年輕的兄弟

211
00:09:45,209 --> 00:09:47,878
‪尼克“大鵰”喬納斯

212
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,301
‪他超多才多藝的

213
00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:55,386
‪歌唱得好，戲演得讚

214
00:09:55,469 --> 00:09:58,431
‪難怪他2013年時讓樂團解散

215
00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:02,810
‪因為他自認為比其他人厲害，我們懂

216
00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:09,483
‪但幸好2019年時
‪喬納斯兄弟再度合體

217
00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:11,193
‪而且他們現在更厲害

218
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:13,696
‪比以更好

219
00:10:14,655 --> 00:10:16,073
‪比以前好很多

220
00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:19,452
‪還有丹妮兒、蘇菲和琵豔卡

221
00:10:19,535 --> 00:10:23,039
‪謝謝妳們，把這幾個男孩調教成男人

222
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:30,087
‪好了，說真的

223
00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:34,425
‪需要非常棒的才華
‪才會在世界各地有無數粉絲

224
00:10:34,508 --> 00:10:38,596
‪更厲害的是
‪超過15年來粉絲都沒變心

225
00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:41,140
‪-我要向你們致敬
‪-謝謝

226
00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:44,685
‪你們太強了

227
00:10:45,686 --> 00:10:49,440
‪而且我保證
‪總有一天，我會認得你們的歌

228
00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:54,111
‪現在我們都知道喬納斯兄弟的生平了

229
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:55,696
‪我們就開始吐槽吧

230
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:57,239
‪你們可能會很意外的發現

231
00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:59,867
‪喬納斯兄弟是有朋友的

232
00:10:59,950 --> 00:11:02,745
‪我們很高興能邀請到他們

233
00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:06,123
‪各位觀眾，請歡迎超讚的莉莉辛恩

234
00:11:18,552 --> 00:11:21,055
‪謝謝...

235
00:11:21,972 --> 00:11:22,807
‪謝謝

236
00:11:24,892 --> 00:11:29,688
‪真榮幸能出席喬納斯兄弟吐槽大會

237
00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:31,148
‪好耶

238
00:11:32,149 --> 00:11:34,443
‪說實話

239
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,320
‪我已經覺得像一家人了

240
00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:40,116
‪因為在尼克和琵豔卡的婚禮上
‪凱文和喬都對我說

241
00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:42,451
‪“真高興妳要和尼克結婚了”

242
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:48,332
‪如果你們不認識我，我完全理解

243
00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:50,543
‪我是莉莉辛恩，你們好

244
00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:51,544
‪謝謝

245
00:11:52,753 --> 00:11:54,422
‪我超愛喬納斯兄弟

246
00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:56,465
‪所以我今天穿得和凱文喬納斯一樣

247
00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,636
‪你們看得出來
‪我們都在平價服飾店買衣服

248
00:12:03,013 --> 00:12:06,267
‪我開始的時候是製作喜劇影片
‪在YouTube上播放

249
00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:09,353
‪然後我的事業充滿了高低潮

250
00:12:09,437 --> 00:12:13,107
‪畢竟這個產業到現在
‪仍是以白人男性為主

251
00:12:13,190 --> 00:12:17,027
‪所以我超興奮終於能
‪在Netflix的喜劇特輯

252
00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:19,697
‪以紐澤西來的三個白人男性為主角

253
00:12:21,949 --> 00:12:26,162
‪喬納斯兄弟又白又頭腦簡單

254
00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:29,498
‪就像真人版的白爪低卡汽泡酒

255
00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:35,212
‪喬有夠白，當他要為樂團取名時

256
00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:37,047
‪他連“跳舞”這個詞都不會寫

257
00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:43,679
‪我在青少年時超愛喬納斯兄弟

258
00:12:43,762 --> 00:12:45,639
‪我的牆上貼了他們的海報

259
00:12:45,723 --> 00:12:47,183
‪拜託，他們那時超正的吧？

260
00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:48,309
‪對

261
00:12:49,310 --> 00:12:52,146
‪他們幫助我了解自己

262
00:12:52,229 --> 00:12:55,691
‪我永遠忘不了，小的時候在加拿大

263
00:12:55,774 --> 00:12:57,818
‪看著喬納斯兄弟的照片時心想

264
00:12:58,694 --> 00:13:00,154
‪“也許我喜歡的是女生”

265
00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:07,203
‪真好玩

266
00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:12,833
‪誇張的是，喬納斯兄弟都20多歲

267
00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:17,004
‪甚至30歲了
‪但我臉上的毛髮比他們的鬍子還多

268
00:13:17,838 --> 00:13:19,381
‪雖然很尷尬，但就是這樣

269
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:21,050
‪我知道自己的優點和缺點

270
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:25,095
‪說到缺點，凱文在場

271
00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:31,435
‪說真的，凱文是我最喜歡的
‪喬納斯兄弟

272
00:13:31,519 --> 00:13:32,478
‪真的

273
00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:34,605
‪我也是

274
00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:39,985
‪因為他讓你相信，任何人都能當明星

275
00:13:40,444 --> 00:13:43,614
‪當你看到
‪他和尼克跟喬在一起的照片時

276
00:13:43,697 --> 00:13:45,199
‪你總是會想：“哇

277
00:13:45,282 --> 00:13:48,452
‪尼克和喬跟他們的會計師真麻吉”

278
00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:52,331
‪尼克

279
00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:54,416
‪你永遠都是喬納斯兄弟中的小弟

280
00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,669
‪-當然
‪-我不知道你知不知道

281
00:13:56,752 --> 00:13:58,963
‪但是尼克嘴上無毛

282
00:13:59,046 --> 00:14:01,173
‪所以他娶了毛髮比他多的女人

283
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:03,425
‪噢

284
00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:05,761
‪超酸的啦

285
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:12,184
‪真的不能不愛尼克喬納斯
‪對吧？看看他

286
00:14:14,061 --> 00:14:15,479
‪對啊

287
00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:18,899
‪尼克是夢想家，而且充滿決心

288
00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:20,526
‪他想成為最棒的

289
00:14:20,609 --> 00:14:25,114
‪他希望有一天得到葛萊美
‪艾美獎、奧斯卡和東尼獎

290
00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:26,824
‪而且他會的

291
00:14:26,907 --> 00:14:31,036
‪只要他再領養四隻狗
‪取名叫葛萊美、艾美、奧斯卡和東尼

292
00:14:35,082 --> 00:14:36,250
‪嗨，喬

293
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:40,421
‪-我沒忘了你
‪-謝天謝地

294
00:14:40,504 --> 00:14:43,340
‪雖然2008到2015年
‪我的確忘了你，但今晚沒忘

295
00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:49,513
‪但說實話，我很榮幸今晚來這裡

296
00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:51,599
‪受邀出席你們的家庭吐槽大會

297
00:14:51,682 --> 00:14:52,808
‪謝謝你們邀請我來

298
00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:57,229
‪當然，我是你的超級大粉絲

299
00:14:57,771 --> 00:14:58,814
‪我是說肯南湯普森

300
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,316
‪謝謝各位，再見

301
00:15:00,816 --> 00:15:01,775
‪好耶

302
00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:04,361
‪-謝謝莉莉辛恩
‪-謝謝

303
00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:07,156
‪幹得好

304
00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:08,157
‪-好耶
‪-謝謝妳

305
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:09,325
‪好耶，請鼓掌

306
00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:13,746
‪她吐槽你們每個人

307
00:15:13,829 --> 00:15:15,539
‪-我超愛的
‪-你們真有風度

308
00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:17,374
‪老爸坐在那裡還可以嗎？

309
00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:18,626
‪我知道他們是你兒子

310
00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:20,169
‪-我的兒子
‪-是啊

311
00:15:20,252 --> 00:15:21,128
‪好吧

312
00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:23,088
‪我的兒子

313
00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:26,508
‪有些關於喬納斯兄弟的事

314
00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:27,760
‪你們可能不知道

315
00:15:27,843 --> 00:15:31,263
‪2007年的梅西百貨感恩節大遊行

316
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:34,725
‪他們搭“做一隻熊工作室”的花車

317
00:15:34,808 --> 00:15:35,726
‪很好

318
00:15:36,393 --> 00:15:37,770
‪-不錯
‪-結果

319
00:15:37,853 --> 00:15:39,980
‪遊行結束的時候
‪他們用凱文刮掉的鬢角

320
00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:42,107
‪做了一隻熊

321
00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:45,277
‪爛

322
00:15:45,694 --> 00:15:46,695
‪超爛

323
00:15:47,404 --> 00:15:49,782
‪什麼？有人噓我嗎？

324
00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:50,950
‪爛死了

325
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:54,662
‪沒禮貌，你們可能不敢相信

326
00:15:55,162 --> 00:15:59,208
‪喬納斯兄弟是登上音樂雜誌封面
‪最年輕的樂團

327
00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:01,210
‪-那就是滾...
‪-《滾石》對啦...

328
00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:02,169
‪我們知道啦

329
00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:06,340
‪彼得，是你嗎？

330
00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:07,341
‪是我嗎？

331
00:16:07,841 --> 00:16:08,717
‪彼得大衛森

332
00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:11,387
‪是我

333
00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:15,224
‪這就像是問喬納斯兄弟是不是超讚

334
00:16:15,307 --> 00:16:16,392
‪當然啊

335
00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:18,686
‪你怎麼來了？

336
00:16:18,769 --> 00:16:21,188
‪我也不知道，我喝醉了

337
00:16:22,189 --> 00:16:24,900
‪我和奈爾在喝白爪低卡汽泡酒
‪奈爾超讚的

338
00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:27,444
‪你是他們的粉絲？

339
00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:28,946
‪我是超級粉絲

340
00:16:29,029 --> 00:16:32,408
‪我每次在超市
‪都會聽到喬納斯兄弟的歌

341
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:36,370
‪大家要尊敬一點，好嗎？

342
00:16:36,453 --> 00:16:38,080
‪尼克現在是真正的演員了

343
00:16:38,163 --> 00:16:40,582
‪他什麼獎都得過，兒童票選獎

344
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:42,292
‪青少年票選獎

345
00:16:44,044 --> 00:16:44,962
‪沒錯

346
00:16:45,045 --> 00:16:46,547
‪-非常好
‪-謝謝你

347
00:16:46,630 --> 00:16:49,174
‪尼克有一首暢銷單曲叫《嫉妒》

348
00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:52,469
‪但如果是凱文唱會比較有說服力

349
00:16:56,473 --> 00:16:59,393
‪你們沒聽過《雲霄飛車》這首歌嗎？

350
00:16:59,476 --> 00:17:01,770
‪你們知道要有多勇敢才能寫這首歌？

351
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:03,480
‪他們都太矮不能坐雲霄飛車

352
00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:07,484
‪我怎麼能嘲笑他們？

353
00:17:07,568 --> 00:17:11,030
‪我長得就像喬納斯兄弟
‪畢竟他們的媽媽長得像姊妹

354
00:17:12,781 --> 00:17:16,035
‪抱歉，但我們節目要繼續

355
00:17:16,118 --> 00:17:17,870
‪拜託不要再打斷我們了

356
00:17:17,953 --> 00:17:19,163
‪-好嗎？
‪-好

357
00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:20,164
‪-謝謝
‪-好

358
00:17:20,247 --> 00:17:25,919
‪喬納斯兄弟在白宮表演過

359
00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:26,962
‪很多次

360
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:31,008
‪但最著名的是當他們在

361
00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:33,844
‪女子棒壘球賽上唱國歌

362
00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:39,266
‪但是大部分的人知道的是...
‪等等，真的有棒壘球這種東西嗎?

363
00:17:39,808 --> 00:17:42,853
‪好了...你這樣太超過了

364
00:17:42,936 --> 00:17:45,355
‪他們超讚的，好嗎？

365
00:17:45,439 --> 00:17:48,442
‪《再長一點》不只是我最喜歡的專輯

366
00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:50,903
‪沒錯...

367
00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:55,282
‪也是蘇菲對喬的老二的期許

368
00:17:55,365 --> 00:17:56,992
‪別這麼毒舌

369
00:17:57,743 --> 00:18:00,412
‪凜冬將至，但蘇菲的高潮不來了

370
00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:01,747
‪-彼得
‪-幹嘛？

371
00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:05,209
‪-你不能這樣講話
‪-拜託

372
00:18:06,293 --> 00:18:08,212
‪別鬧，不能這樣講話啦

373
00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:09,630
‪-對不起啦
‪-彼得

374
00:18:09,713 --> 00:18:11,507
‪-對不起啦
‪-為彼得大衛森掌聲鼓勵一下

375
00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:13,092
‪但你得出去了

376
00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:15,969
‪我的老天啊

377
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:18,931
‪蘇菲，這是妳的私事

378
00:18:22,142 --> 00:18:24,812
‪請歡迎比尼克喬納斯
‪更有才華、更美麗

379
00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:28,357
‪更受歡迎、沒那麼氣噗噗的另一半

380
00:18:28,482 --> 00:18:31,652
‪琵豔卡喬普拉喬納斯

381
00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:41,370
‪好耶

382
00:18:41,453 --> 00:18:42,579
‪我現在好緊張

383
00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:44,873
‪謝謝你們這麼熱烈歡迎

384
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:46,041
‪真是太棒了

385
00:18:46,583 --> 00:18:47,960
‪各位好

386
00:18:51,046 --> 00:18:55,467
‪我既榮幸又興奮，也很緊張

387
00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:59,847
‪今晚在這裡吐槽我老公，尼克喬納斯

388
00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:04,184
‪還有他兄弟
‪他們的名字我總是記不起來

389
00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:10,566
‪我來自印度
‪那是一個充滿文化和音樂

390
00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:12,151
‪還有娛樂的國度

391
00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:14,903
‪難怪喬納斯兄弟在那裡紅不起來

392
00:19:18,907 --> 00:19:21,660
‪尼克和我相差十歲

393
00:19:21,743 --> 00:19:23,120
‪-好耶
‪-對啊

394
00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:25,330
‪是真的

395
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:29,960
‪他不懂很多1990年代的流行文化

396
00:19:30,043 --> 00:19:31,253
‪我必須解釋給他聽

397
00:19:31,336 --> 00:19:33,922
‪沒關係，因為我們會教彼此

398
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,591
‪我們會教彼此很多事

399
00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:38,552
‪例如，他向我示範使用抖音

400
00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:43,098
‪我向他示範什麼是成功的演藝事業

401
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:44,474
‪超毒

402
00:19:54,109 --> 00:19:55,444
‪天啊

403
00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:57,404
‪而且你們注意過

404
00:19:57,487 --> 00:19:59,740
‪喬納斯兄弟在網路上寫多少東西嗎？

405
00:19:59,823 --> 00:20:03,869
‪他們總是在用IG、總是在用手機

406
00:20:03,952 --> 00:20:05,329
‪真的很可愛

407
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:07,706
‪我告訴你們為什麼可愛

408
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:11,543
‪因為所有關注他們的人加起來
‪比我的還要少

409
00:20:14,838 --> 00:20:15,672
‪沒錯

410
00:20:15,756 --> 00:20:16,590
‪是真的

411
00:20:17,382 --> 00:20:20,469
‪-是真的
‪-所以最受歡迎的喬納斯是

412
00:20:20,552 --> 00:20:22,346
‪IG上的@PriyankaChopra

413
00:20:27,851 --> 00:20:31,146
‪說真的，我要說我有多愛我老公

414
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,482
‪還有我愛他的原因

415
00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:36,860
‪我愛他的其中一個原因是
‪我們有很多共同點

416
00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:39,905
‪例如，我們倆都全心全意

417
00:20:39,988 --> 00:20:43,408
‪而且執著的愛著尼克喬納斯

418
00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:46,370
‪我們都愛尼克喬納斯

419
00:20:46,453 --> 00:20:48,705
‪我們倆都是，他是我們的最愛

420
00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:49,623
‪是真的

421
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:51,917
‪-他是我們的最愛
‪-是真的

422
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,085
‪-真的
‪-說得沒錯

423
00:20:53,168 --> 00:20:55,545
‪各位，我不想嫁給別人

424
00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:59,216
‪是真的，除非克里斯漢斯沃恢復單身

425
00:20:59,299 --> 00:21:00,342
‪可能會讓我改變主意

426
00:21:02,052 --> 00:21:04,012
‪從我們結婚開始就有很多人質疑

427
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:07,015
‪有人說：“這只是作秀”

428
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:08,267
‪怎麼可能？

429
00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:10,852
‪我當時根本不知道尼克很有名

430
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:14,898
‪我只知道他是凱文喬納斯的弟弟

431
00:21:17,150 --> 00:21:18,068
‪沒錯

432
00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:23,073
‪說實話，我很高興我嫁的男人

433
00:21:23,156 --> 00:21:25,742
‪和我一樣重視家庭

434
00:21:25,826 --> 00:21:28,537
‪如果你們不知道的話
‪我們是唯一一對

435
00:21:29,371 --> 00:21:30,664
‪還沒有孩子的夫妻

436
00:21:31,206 --> 00:21:33,166
‪所以我很高興宣佈

437
00:21:34,751 --> 00:21:35,752
‪老公，抱歉

438
00:21:37,045 --> 00:21:38,672
‪尼克和我準備...

439
00:21:39,965 --> 00:21:41,633
‪今晚大醉一場

440
00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:44,011
‪明天睡到自然醒

441
00:21:47,597 --> 00:21:49,850
‪我說的時候，你的表情超好笑

442
00:21:49,933 --> 00:21:52,102
‪對，我有點擔心

443
00:21:52,811 --> 00:21:54,938
‪說實的，我超愛這個家庭

444
00:21:55,022 --> 00:21:57,274
‪尼克、喬、凱文，你們都超讚的

445
00:21:57,357 --> 00:21:58,692
‪尼克改變了我的人生

446
00:21:58,775 --> 00:22:01,945
‪我不想當別人的褓姆...
‪我是說，嫁給別人

447
00:22:04,448 --> 00:22:05,657
‪永遠不想

448
00:22:05,741 --> 00:22:09,661
‪各位觀眾
‪請為琵豔卡喬普拉喬納斯鼓掌

449
00:22:10,454 --> 00:22:11,455
‪謝謝

450
00:22:15,625 --> 00:22:17,044
‪天啊

451
00:22:17,127 --> 00:22:18,045
‪你有什麼感覺？

452
00:22:18,128 --> 00:22:19,588
‪瞧瞧他們有多相愛

453
00:22:20,672 --> 00:22:21,923
‪妳超搞笑的

454
00:22:23,842 --> 00:22:28,221
‪喬納斯兄弟有很多搞笑的事
‪大部分的人都不知道

455
00:22:28,305 --> 00:22:30,682
‪例如，有一次...

456
00:22:31,850 --> 00:22:32,684
‪等等

457
00:22:33,435 --> 00:22:36,813
‪我認得出這音樂是誰彈的

458
00:22:36,897 --> 00:22:39,816
‪各位觀眾，是約翰傳奇

459
00:22:39,900 --> 00:22:41,151
‪好耶

460
00:22:43,445 --> 00:22:44,446
‪兄弟，你好嗎？

461
00:22:47,783 --> 00:22:49,951
‪你好嗎？你一整晚坐都在那裡嗎？

462
00:22:50,035 --> 00:22:52,370
‪肯南，你了解我的，我超愛派對的

463
00:22:52,454 --> 00:22:56,500
‪只要有派對，我就會帶著鋼琴出席

464
00:22:56,583 --> 00:22:57,667
‪沒錯

465
00:22:57,751 --> 00:23:00,962
‪既然你都來了，就為我們彈奏一曲吧

466
00:23:01,046 --> 00:23:02,214
‪對，你知道原因嗎？

467
00:23:02,839 --> 00:23:05,926
‪我為我最愛的樂團寫了一首歌

468
00:23:06,009 --> 00:23:07,052
‪好耶

469
00:23:07,135 --> 00:23:09,012
‪喬納斯兄弟，你們過來吧

470
00:23:09,096 --> 00:23:10,555
‪-好耶
‪-過來吧

471
00:23:12,516 --> 00:23:13,350
‪這是獻給你們的

472
00:23:13,850 --> 00:23:14,976
‪獻給你們的

473
00:23:15,060 --> 00:23:16,269
‪獻給你們

474
00:23:16,353 --> 00:23:17,312
‪希望你們喜歡

475
00:23:17,395 --> 00:23:18,271
‪希望你們喜歡

476
00:23:26,279 --> 00:23:29,491
‪勞工階級的孩子
‪童年時懷抱著夢想

477
00:23:29,574 --> 00:23:33,870
‪賺了很多錢，讓很多女孩尖叫

478
00:23:33,954 --> 00:23:37,749
‪他們寫的歌傳唱全世界

479
00:23:37,833 --> 00:23:41,002
‪不管去哪裡表演，總是座無虛席

480
00:23:41,837 --> 00:23:42,712
‪是真的

481
00:23:42,796 --> 00:23:45,382
‪我只想當他們的頭號粉絲

482
00:23:45,924 --> 00:23:49,136
‪我寫了一首歌告訴他們
‪他們是我最愛的樂團

483
00:23:49,761 --> 00:23:53,682
‪我希望他們能聽到
‪但他們今天不在場

484
00:23:53,765 --> 00:23:59,354
‪沒有約翰、保羅、喬治、林哥
‪只有喬、尼克還有...

485
00:23:59,855 --> 00:24:00,689
‪基斯嗎？

486
00:24:02,190 --> 00:24:05,569
‪你們不是披頭四

487
00:24:05,652 --> 00:24:10,115
‪雖然不是披頭四，但你們也不錯

488
00:24:11,283 --> 00:24:15,036
‪你們長得滿帥的
‪甚至比韓森兄弟帥

489
00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:17,664
‪但你們永遠不會像披頭四
‪你們盡力了

490
00:24:17,747 --> 00:24:20,876
‪你們不是披頭四

491
00:24:21,751 --> 00:24:25,130
‪不像披頭四，我告訴你們為什麼

492
00:24:26,548 --> 00:24:28,925
‪就算帶他們去奶奶家

493
00:24:29,009 --> 00:24:30,594
‪他們也拿不到葛萊美

494
00:24:30,677 --> 00:24:32,804
‪他們永遠不會像披頭四

495
00:24:32,888 --> 00:24:35,974
‪這輩子想都別想

496
00:24:37,642 --> 00:24:41,313
‪想像一下沒有《想像》這首歌

497
00:24:42,898 --> 00:24:45,734
‪只有《愛慕者》，其他我不記得了

498
00:24:47,068 --> 00:24:50,488
‪如果保羅麥卡尼演出《野蠻遊戲》
‪會怎樣？

499
00:24:50,572 --> 00:24:53,825
‪不是《讓它去》
‪而是尼克的《嫉妒心》

500
00:24:54,576 --> 00:24:58,246
‪你們不如最弱的林哥史塔

501
00:24:58,330 --> 00:25:01,333
‪就只是基斯？寇克？

502
00:25:01,917 --> 00:25:03,084
‪隨便啦

503
00:25:05,128 --> 00:25:07,797
‪喬治哈里森每次聽到

504
00:25:07,881 --> 00:25:10,759
‪《海邊的蛋糕》

505
00:25:11,218 --> 00:25:14,471
‪他死也不能瞑目

506
00:25:14,554 --> 00:25:17,891
‪你們不是披頭四

507
00:25:17,974 --> 00:25:22,604
‪不是披頭四，但你們很不錯

508
00:25:23,396 --> 00:25:26,816
‪你們長得滿帥，甚至比韓森兄弟帥

509
00:25:26,900 --> 00:25:29,778
‪但你們永遠不會是披頭四
‪你們盡力了

510
00:25:29,861 --> 00:25:32,864
‪不是披頭四

511
00:25:32,948 --> 00:25:37,160
‪不是披頭四，我告訴你們為什麼

512
00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:41,414
‪就算帶他們去奶奶家
‪他們也不會得葛萊美

513
00:25:41,498 --> 00:25:44,000
‪他們永遠不會是披頭四

514
00:25:44,084 --> 00:25:46,628
‪這輩子想都別想

515
00:25:47,796 --> 00:25:48,964
‪大家一起唱

516
00:25:49,506 --> 00:25:54,886
‪不...

517
00:25:56,554 --> 00:25:58,890
‪不要尼克，不要喬

518
00:26:00,058 --> 00:26:01,184
‪還是叫基斯？

519
00:26:02,602 --> 00:26:07,399
‪不...

520
00:26:07,482 --> 00:26:09,484
‪不...

521
00:26:10,986 --> 00:26:13,697
‪不要喬納斯兄弟

522
00:26:14,781 --> 00:26:15,865
‪對我來說

523
00:26:17,784 --> 00:26:20,203
‪他們不是披頭四

524
00:26:22,038 --> 00:26:25,667
‪不是披頭四，雖然他們人很好

525
00:26:26,251 --> 00:26:30,046
‪你們長得很帥，甚至比韓森兄弟帥

526
00:26:30,547 --> 00:26:32,132
‪-帥也可以啦
‪-但你們永遠不會是披頭四

527
00:26:32,215 --> 00:26:33,216
‪你們盡力了

528
00:26:33,300 --> 00:26:35,844
‪不是披頭四

529
00:26:37,053 --> 00:26:40,557
‪不是披頭四，再加油一點

530
00:26:41,975 --> 00:26:43,977
‪但是往好處想

531
00:26:44,060 --> 00:26:45,895
‪你們的老婆都很美

532
00:26:45,979 --> 00:26:48,273
‪她們沒害你們拆夥

533
00:26:49,983 --> 00:26:53,028
‪而且你們也沒死

534
00:26:56,740 --> 00:26:58,408
‪約翰傳奇

535
00:27:01,578 --> 00:27:02,871
‪約翰傳奇

536
00:27:02,954 --> 00:27:04,581
‪各位觀眾

537
00:27:08,835 --> 00:27:09,753
‪謝謝

538
00:27:09,836 --> 00:27:10,837
‪太讚了

539
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:12,380
‪-抱歉啦
‪-太棒了

540
00:27:12,464 --> 00:27:13,506
‪-太好聽了
‪-謝謝

541
00:27:13,590 --> 00:27:14,966
‪你說得對

542
00:27:15,050 --> 00:27:16,301
‪-你說得沒錯
‪-太棒了

543
00:27:16,384 --> 00:27:17,969
‪-約翰傳奇
‪-不是披頭四

544
00:27:23,975 --> 00:27:28,855
‪喬納斯兄弟最近去了

545
00:27:28,938 --> 00:27:30,815
‪洛杉磯公羊隊的新家

546
00:27:30,899 --> 00:27:34,319
‪看誰美式足球的球技術最不爛

547
00:27:34,402 --> 00:27:35,695
‪我們來看看吧

548
00:27:38,698 --> 00:27:39,783
‪（洛杉磯公羊隊）

549
00:27:42,202 --> 00:27:43,495
‪你們相信嗎？湯姆布雷迪要教我們

550
00:27:43,578 --> 00:27:44,412
‪-怎麼踢球？
‪-對啊

551
00:27:44,496 --> 00:27:45,372
‪太扯了

552
00:27:45,455 --> 00:27:46,706
‪湯姆布雷迪要教我們

553
00:27:46,790 --> 00:27:48,917
‪-踢這個球
‪-喬納斯兄弟，你們好

554
00:27:49,876 --> 00:27:51,044
‪你們準備好了嗎？

555
00:27:52,212 --> 00:27:53,296
‪我是你們的教練

556
00:27:53,838 --> 00:27:55,090
‪湯姆葛雷迪

557
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:57,675
‪不，我們在等湯姆布雷迪，謝謝你

558
00:27:57,759 --> 00:27:59,260
‪他說：“我們在等湯...”

559
00:27:59,344 --> 00:28:01,304
‪拜託，湯姆布雷迪幹嘛要教你們？

560
00:28:02,138 --> 00:28:03,223
‪我們開始吧

561
00:28:06,518 --> 00:28:07,394
‪好了，各位

562
00:28:07,477 --> 00:28:09,437
‪今天我負責擔任你們的

563
00:28:09,521 --> 00:28:10,397
‪美式足球教練

564
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,315
‪等我教完，我會放你們回去

565
00:28:12,399 --> 00:28:15,443
‪但我會先宣佈你們誰最爛

566
00:28:16,236 --> 00:28:17,112
‪膝蓋抬高

567
00:28:17,195 --> 00:28:19,823
‪膝蓋抬高，屁股縮進去

568
00:28:19,906 --> 00:28:20,865
‪屁股縮進去？

569
00:28:20,949 --> 00:28:22,158
‪好，原地跳，開始

570
00:28:22,242 --> 00:28:24,411
‪一、二、三、四，現在游泳

571
00:28:24,828 --> 00:28:26,579
‪一個喬納斯兄弟

572
00:28:26,663 --> 00:28:27,831
‪兩個喬納斯兄弟

573
00:28:27,914 --> 00:28:29,332
‪三個喬納斯兄弟

574
00:28:29,416 --> 00:28:30,625
‪我贏了

575
00:28:30,708 --> 00:28:32,127
‪好了，我們去吃點玉米餅吧

576
00:28:32,627 --> 00:28:34,754
‪現在是超級盃第四局，只剩下一分鐘

577
00:28:34,838 --> 00:28:36,005
‪丟球

578
00:28:39,175 --> 00:28:41,761
‪難怪大家叫你們喬納斯兄弟

579
00:28:41,845 --> 00:28:43,555
‪不是喬納斯漢子

580
00:28:43,638 --> 00:28:45,557
‪你們給我拿出男子氣概

581
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:48,893
‪尼克，給我下場

582
00:28:48,977 --> 00:28:50,145
‪投球

583
00:28:52,397 --> 00:28:55,108
‪好耶，這樣才對

584
00:28:57,652 --> 00:28:59,404
‪-好耶
‪-好，凱文，你可以的

585
00:28:59,487 --> 00:29:00,488
‪傳球

586
00:29:03,867 --> 00:29:05,034
‪快一點，凱文

587
00:29:05,952 --> 00:29:07,620
‪快一點

588
00:29:11,916 --> 00:29:12,876
‪今天結束了

589
00:29:12,959 --> 00:29:14,335
‪-沒事，凱文
‪-大家靠過來

590
00:29:14,419 --> 00:29:16,504
‪-靠過來精神喊話
‪-下次會接到的

591
00:29:17,213 --> 00:29:18,465
‪真是的

592
00:29:20,091 --> 00:29:22,469
‪你們那天如何？過得還愉快嗎？

593
00:29:22,552 --> 00:29:25,013
‪凱文的球技真的超爛的

594
00:29:25,388 --> 00:29:28,433
‪我覺得他們影片接剪得很爛

595
00:29:28,933 --> 00:29:30,810
‪我不覺得我有那麼爛

596
00:29:30,894 --> 00:29:32,312
‪-他的球技超爛
‪-對

597
00:29:32,395 --> 00:29:33,605
‪你的機會來了

598
00:29:33,688 --> 00:29:38,026
‪你還有一次挑戰可以確定

599
00:29:38,109 --> 00:29:39,360
‪你是不是真的這麼爛

600
00:29:40,403 --> 00:29:42,113
‪我們來看看吧

601
00:29:42,197 --> 00:29:43,156
‪這是你的機會

602
00:29:43,239 --> 00:29:44,240
‪好

603
00:29:46,618 --> 00:29:47,619
‪（索菲體育場）

604
00:29:49,829 --> 00:29:51,289
‪（索菲體育場）

605
00:29:51,372 --> 00:29:52,916
‪（家庭）

606
00:29:52,999 --> 00:29:54,709
‪（暴衝）

607
00:29:58,630 --> 00:30:02,091
‪凱文，該讓你出場了
‪瞧瞧會有什麼結果

608
00:30:02,634 --> 00:30:07,764
‪你要回場上去
‪但這次有七萬名球迷觀眾

609
00:30:08,348 --> 00:30:09,224
‪好

610
00:30:09,307 --> 00:30:11,851
‪盡量設法射門得分

611
00:30:11,935 --> 00:30:13,394
‪你可以的

612
00:30:13,478 --> 00:30:19,192
‪記住，看清楚、用心，我是你的粉絲

613
00:30:20,026 --> 00:30:20,944
‪好

614
00:30:21,027 --> 00:30:22,153
‪出場吧，小子

615
00:30:23,905 --> 00:30:25,281
‪真是的，一定會很慘

616
00:30:25,365 --> 00:30:26,950
‪彷彿待宰的羔羊

617
00:30:27,492 --> 00:30:30,954
‪請歡迎回到紐澤西的出場者

618
00:30:31,037 --> 00:30:34,457
‪背號一號的凱文喬納斯

619
00:30:38,002 --> 00:30:39,087
‪好耶

620
00:30:44,092 --> 00:30:45,718
‪好耶，各位粉絲

621
00:30:52,851 --> 00:30:55,436
‪凱文，一起來看看他能不能射門成功

622
00:31:10,493 --> 00:31:15,164
‪起腳射門，得分了

623
00:31:22,380 --> 00:31:23,715
‪讚啦

624
00:31:23,798 --> 00:31:25,550
‪就是這樣

625
00:31:25,633 --> 00:31:26,885
‪我的天啊

626
00:31:26,968 --> 00:31:28,303
‪我的天啊

627
00:31:28,386 --> 00:31:30,346
‪洛杉磯的觀眾，大聲歡呼吧

628
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:36,436
‪我辦到了，教練

629
00:31:36,519 --> 00:31:38,897
‪你辦到了，你真的辦到了

630
00:31:38,980 --> 00:31:40,565
‪在所有人面前

631
00:31:41,232 --> 00:31:42,483
‪真是太讚了

632
00:31:43,234 --> 00:31:45,028
‪幹的好，小凱

633
00:31:46,195 --> 00:31:47,363
‪你辦到了

634
00:31:47,447 --> 00:31:48,489
‪第一次嘗試

635
00:31:48,573 --> 00:31:50,783
‪而且還有七萬名觀眾，太厲害了

636
00:31:50,867 --> 00:31:52,952
‪我不能確認是不是第一次

637
00:31:53,036 --> 00:31:54,287
‪我不確定

638
00:31:54,370 --> 00:31:56,831
‪你把球踢進球門
‪就像他們把你踢出樂團一樣

639
00:31:56,915 --> 00:31:58,291
‪你好樣的

640
00:31:58,374 --> 00:31:59,709
‪一箭穿心...

641
00:32:00,543 --> 00:32:02,420
‪唯一的差別是，我還是很成功

642
00:32:02,503 --> 00:32:03,630
‪但他們失敗了，所以沒關係

643
00:32:04,213 --> 00:32:05,673
‪兄弟鬩牆了

644
00:32:06,633 --> 00:32:10,553
‪我們拍了兩部《野蠻遊戲》好嗎？
‪我認為我們很成功

645
00:32:11,220 --> 00:32:12,639
‪是真的

646
00:32:13,973 --> 00:32:14,974
‪-兩部
‪-我超愛的

647
00:32:15,058 --> 00:32:16,476
‪你和巨石強森是朋友嗎？

648
00:32:16,559 --> 00:32:18,061
‪不是，他都不回我電話

649
00:32:18,519 --> 00:32:19,854
‪小個子那個呢？

650
00:32:19,938 --> 00:32:20,980
‪我和他是朋友

651
00:32:21,064 --> 00:32:22,649
‪小個子的黑人總是最棒的

652
00:32:22,732 --> 00:32:23,608
‪好了

653
00:32:25,610 --> 00:32:28,821
‪請歡迎比任何人都要還了解

654
00:32:28,905 --> 00:32:30,615
‪喬納斯兄弟的人

655
00:32:31,783 --> 00:32:33,284
‪法蘭克林喬納斯

656
00:32:40,708 --> 00:32:42,126
‪謝謝

657
00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:45,672
‪-不
‪-大家好

658
00:32:45,755 --> 00:32:46,965
‪謝謝

659
00:32:47,048 --> 00:32:50,468
‪是我，法蘭克林喬納斯

660
00:32:51,636 --> 00:32:54,389
‪他們叫我“額外的喬納斯”

661
00:32:54,472 --> 00:32:57,308
‪因為只有我沒有領到薪水

662
00:32:58,559 --> 00:33:02,146
‪我只靠他們三人給我的
‪聖誕和生日禮物過日子

663
00:33:02,772 --> 00:33:04,232
‪#吃垮有錢人

664
00:33:05,441 --> 00:33:08,528
‪真的，我很榮幸身為你們的小弟

665
00:33:08,611 --> 00:33:11,906
‪你們登上告示牌200大金曲第一名

666
00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:13,533
‪真是太棒了

667
00:33:13,616 --> 00:33:16,619
‪但還是需要我才能搆到櫥櫃頂端

668
00:33:18,454 --> 00:33:22,458
‪我的人生很辛苦，是真的

669
00:33:23,501 --> 00:33:25,169
‪真的，超辛苦的

670
00:33:26,462 --> 00:33:29,090
‪我覺得我永遠是第四名

671
00:33:29,674 --> 00:33:32,010
‪就算我能發明新冠肺炎的解藥
‪但別人還是會說

672
00:33:32,093 --> 00:33:34,887
‪“雖然很厲害
‪但你沒有在《搖滾夏令營》演出”

673
00:33:36,764 --> 00:33:39,726
‪但我還是愛你們
‪我只要你們做一件事

674
00:33:39,809 --> 00:33:41,769
‪傳簡訊告訴我今晚的派對在哪裡

675
00:33:41,853 --> 00:33:44,147
‪我買了新手機，你們要輸入新手機裡

676
00:33:44,230 --> 00:33:46,190
‪你知道的

677
00:33:46,274 --> 00:33:49,736
‪好了，彼得，謝謝你
‪但你不能靠近喬納斯兄弟

678
00:33:49,819 --> 00:33:51,446
‪彼得是誰？我是法蘭克林

679
00:33:51,529 --> 00:33:52,739
‪我是法蘭克林喬納斯

680
00:33:52,822 --> 00:33:54,240
‪-我們知道
‪-我只是要去找我哥

681
00:33:54,323 --> 00:33:56,284
‪我了解，但是節目結束後
‪他們會去找你，法蘭克林

682
00:33:56,367 --> 00:33:57,535
‪管你去死啦，肯南

683
00:33:57,618 --> 00:33:58,619
‪-拜託
‪-去死啦

684
00:33:59,412 --> 00:34:02,957
‪法蘭克林喬納斯“斜線”彼得大衛森

685
00:34:03,541 --> 00:34:04,792
‪再次掌聲鼓勵

686
00:34:08,171 --> 00:34:12,633
‪好，我們還是回到
‪喬納斯家庭吐槽大會的

687
00:34:12,717 --> 00:34:14,010
‪觀察區吧

688
00:34:14,427 --> 00:34:18,097
‪非常舒服、別人不能進去的保留區
‪只有喬納斯兄弟的

689
00:34:18,181 --> 00:34:19,599
‪嬌妻才能待在那裡

690
00:34:20,183 --> 00:34:21,059
‪等等...

691
00:34:22,477 --> 00:34:24,479
‪好吧

692
00:34:25,730 --> 00:34:26,814
‪肯南湯普森

693
00:34:28,900 --> 00:34:30,276
‪菲爾醫生？

694
00:34:35,948 --> 00:34:40,912
‪你怎麼會在
‪喬納斯兄弟的老婆沙發專區？

695
00:34:41,579 --> 00:34:42,747
‪我是醫生

696
00:34:43,372 --> 00:34:44,916
‪身為醫生

697
00:34:44,999 --> 00:34:48,044
‪我有義務插手干預

698
00:34:48,127 --> 00:34:49,837
‪所有家庭事務

699
00:34:50,755 --> 00:34:54,050
‪好吧，你應該宣誓過

700
00:34:54,133 --> 00:34:57,553
‪我每天都遵守這個誓言，肯南

701
00:34:57,637 --> 00:35:01,641
‪我用訓練有素的眼睛
‪觀察這場吐槽大會

702
00:35:02,809 --> 00:35:04,894
‪我想我知道問題在哪裡了

703
00:35:05,436 --> 00:35:09,899
‪吐槽很惡劣
‪這樣是在教別人該怎麼對待我們

704
00:35:09,982 --> 00:35:13,152
‪如果你認為你活該被批評

705
00:35:13,236 --> 00:35:14,862
‪你就會被批評

706
00:35:16,322 --> 00:35:19,992
‪對，但是菲爾醫生，這只是好玩而已

707
00:35:20,076 --> 00:35:22,161
‪我還沒說完，肯南湯普森

708
00:35:22,245 --> 00:35:23,579
‪-別激動
‪-好吧

709
00:35:24,122 --> 00:35:26,707
‪我告訴你們喬納斯兄弟的事吧

710
00:35:27,375 --> 00:35:30,878
‪對別人說他們想聽的話比較容易

711
00:35:30,962 --> 00:35:32,964
‪說他們需要聽的話比較難

712
00:35:33,381 --> 00:35:35,424
‪我告訴你，他們需要聽什麼話

713
00:35:35,508 --> 00:35:39,137
‪他們都配不上自己的老婆

714
00:35:40,429 --> 00:35:43,683
‪這些小子們太高攀了

715
00:35:44,892 --> 00:35:46,769
‪真是不敢相信

716
00:35:46,853 --> 00:35:49,814
‪我覺得你不太適合提供家庭建議

717
00:35:49,897 --> 00:35:51,774
‪畢竟你兒子就在這裡
‪喬登，你好嗎？

718
00:35:52,900 --> 00:35:54,068
‪屁啦，老爸

719
00:35:54,152 --> 00:35:56,487
‪我說過，你要叫我菲爾醫生

720
00:35:57,530 --> 00:36:01,701
‪告訴你吧，你們這些小子沒救了

721
00:36:02,118 --> 00:36:05,079
‪你們完全沒希望了，我要走了

722
00:36:06,914 --> 00:36:08,499
‪-請掌聲謝謝菲爾醫生
‪-女士們，不好意思

723
00:36:09,333 --> 00:36:10,209
‪抱歉

724
00:36:11,294 --> 00:36:12,128
‪真是的

725
00:36:14,463 --> 00:36:15,590
‪幹得好，菲爾醫生

726
00:36:17,508 --> 00:36:19,051
‪下流醫生

727
00:36:19,844 --> 00:36:24,098
‪各位觀眾，請歡迎丹妮兒喬納斯

728
00:36:24,182 --> 00:36:25,600
‪好耶

729
00:36:32,899 --> 00:36:36,861
‪出了點狀況，我們來解釋一下

730
00:36:36,944 --> 00:36:38,112
‪請吧，丹妮兒

731
00:36:39,197 --> 00:36:40,781
‪她說：“我失聲了”

732
00:36:40,865 --> 00:36:41,699
‪真可憐

733
00:36:41,782 --> 00:36:43,367
‪-不
‪-寶貝

734
00:36:43,451 --> 00:36:49,916
‪“沒關係，至少我原本的聲音很好聽
‪不像凱文

735
00:36:51,792 --> 00:36:53,377
‪他只能唱合音”

736
00:36:53,461 --> 00:36:54,629
‪對，沒錯

737
00:36:56,380 --> 00:36:59,842
‪“既然失聲了，我就不能吐槽凱文”

738
00:37:00,593 --> 00:37:01,636
‪好吧

739
00:37:01,719 --> 00:37:03,179
‪“也許你可以幫我？”

740
00:37:03,262 --> 00:37:05,056
‪我嗎？當然好

741
00:37:05,139 --> 00:37:06,432
‪-我很樂意
‪-好耶

742
00:37:07,475 --> 00:37:11,145
‪我要幫丹妮兒吐槽凱文

743
00:37:11,229 --> 00:37:12,146
‪阿門

744
00:37:14,273 --> 00:37:15,650
‪這些是她要說的

745
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:18,277
‪“我在度假時認識凱文

746
00:37:18,861 --> 00:37:22,615
‪在那之前，唯一會破壞我度假的事

747
00:37:22,698 --> 00:37:24,200
‪就是紮度假髮辮

748
00:37:27,703 --> 00:37:30,414
‪我幾乎完全不理他

749
00:37:30,915 --> 00:37:34,961
‪但他超愛這樣
‪因為他說這讓他想起媽媽”

750
00:37:35,044 --> 00:37:35,878
‪真是的

751
00:37:37,755 --> 00:37:38,756
‪好毒

752
00:37:40,508 --> 00:37:41,425
‪“但是

753
00:37:42,385 --> 00:37:45,513
‪我們這12年來都很幸福”

754
00:37:45,596 --> 00:37:46,764
‪-沒錯
‪-謝謝

755
00:37:46,847 --> 00:37:48,933
‪“我們生了兩個可愛的女兒”

756
00:37:49,016 --> 00:37:50,184
‪是的

757
00:37:50,268 --> 00:37:51,185
‪是

758
00:37:53,020 --> 00:37:56,941
‪“我們過著傳統的生活
‪當他出去巡迴表演時

759
00:37:57,024 --> 00:37:58,567
‪我就和送牛奶的上床”

760
00:37:58,651 --> 00:37:59,735
‪丹妮兒

761
00:38:00,695 --> 00:38:01,779
‪我才不相信

762
00:38:02,613 --> 00:38:03,614
‪我才不相信

763
00:38:04,448 --> 00:38:05,658
‪打死我也不信

764
00:38:06,659 --> 00:38:10,079
‪“但是凱文是最棒的爸爸
‪而且和大部分的人一樣...”

765
00:38:10,913 --> 00:38:11,998
‪沒錯

766
00:38:13,499 --> 00:38:14,750
‪“和大部分的人一樣

767
00:38:15,209 --> 00:38:17,920
‪我們的女兒根本不知道他是名人”

768
00:38:20,673 --> 00:38:23,801
‪“當然，我覺得凱文是
‪喬納斯兄弟中最帥的

769
00:38:24,677 --> 00:38:26,721
‪-他有迷人的眼睛
‪-謝謝，寶貝

770
00:38:27,138 --> 00:38:28,848
‪可愛的笑容...

771
00:38:28,931 --> 00:38:31,684
‪還有一個超大的...”

772
00:38:31,767 --> 00:38:32,601
‪好吧

773
00:38:35,146 --> 00:38:37,398
‪是心，是心好嗎？

774
00:38:39,859 --> 00:38:40,735
‪好吧

775
00:38:41,819 --> 00:38:42,903
‪抱歉

776
00:38:44,655 --> 00:38:46,532
‪丹妮兒，我不能說這個

777
00:38:47,742 --> 00:38:49,452
‪但是很棒，凱文

778
00:38:50,619 --> 00:38:51,912
‪你知道吧？

779
00:38:53,122 --> 00:38:54,332
‪你應該很自豪

780
00:38:54,415 --> 00:38:55,624
‪謝謝

781
00:38:55,708 --> 00:38:56,959
‪凱文老爸

782
00:38:57,043 --> 00:38:58,878
‪你也應該自豪，我聽說你也很壯觀

783
00:38:58,961 --> 00:39:00,588
‪他是遺傳自你

784
00:39:01,380 --> 00:39:02,298
‪就是這麼回事

785
00:39:02,381 --> 00:39:05,134
‪“總而言之，我愛你，凱文”

786
00:39:05,718 --> 00:39:06,552
‪我愛妳，寶貝

787
00:39:06,635 --> 00:39:08,846
‪各位觀眾，請為丹妮兒喬納斯鼓掌

788
00:39:11,891 --> 00:39:13,976
‪愛在哪裡？

789
00:39:15,353 --> 00:39:16,228
‪好可愛

790
00:39:16,312 --> 00:39:18,105
‪送她回座位吧

791
00:39:22,943 --> 00:39:23,819
‪幹得好

792
00:39:24,779 --> 00:39:25,613
‪好了...

793
00:39:26,447 --> 00:39:29,033
‪有個和尼克很熟的人

794
00:39:29,116 --> 00:39:31,410
‪有一些話非說不可

795
00:39:31,494 --> 00:39:32,411
‪我們來瞧瞧吧

796
00:39:33,704 --> 00:39:34,705
{\an8}‪大家聽者

797
00:39:34,789 --> 00:39:36,165
{\an8}‪我是尼克在電視上最好的朋友

798
00:39:36,248 --> 00:39:37,124
{\an8}‪（布雷克謝爾頓）

799
00:39:37,208 --> 00:39:39,001
{\an8}‪我認識他很久了，例如

800
00:39:39,502 --> 00:39:40,961
‪兩季的《美國好聲音》

801
00:39:41,504 --> 00:39:43,714
‪也是和他很親近的同事

802
00:39:44,256 --> 00:39:46,634
‪我想說說我為什麼喜歡尼克喬納斯

803
00:39:47,593 --> 00:39:48,469
‪第一

804
00:39:48,969 --> 00:39:50,096
‪他不會造成威脅

805
00:39:50,596 --> 00:39:52,765
‪唱片公司不會告訴藝人

806
00:39:52,848 --> 00:39:56,102
‪“不要這星期發唱片
‪因為尼克喬納斯也要出唱片”

807
00:39:56,185 --> 00:39:58,145
‪通常是正好相反

808
00:39:58,229 --> 00:40:02,024
‪“這星期出唱片吧，沒有競爭對手”

809
00:40:02,108 --> 00:40:02,942
‪你超讚的

810
00:40:03,734 --> 00:40:04,568
‪第二

811
00:40:04,652 --> 00:40:07,530
‪很容易找到他
‪因為他真的每次出門

812
00:40:07,613 --> 00:40:10,741
‪就會自拍上傳到IG

813
00:40:11,617 --> 00:40:12,451
‪第三

814
00:40:12,535 --> 00:40:13,702
‪他是很棒的演員

815
00:40:13,786 --> 00:40:17,665
‪他在兩季的《美國好聲音》
‪假裝自己有資格當聲樂指導

816
00:40:17,748 --> 00:40:18,707
‪（第四）

817
00:40:18,791 --> 00:40:21,043
‪我喜歡尼克喬納斯的最後一個原因

818
00:40:21,127 --> 00:40:24,463
‪他身邊的人都比他酷多了

819
00:40:24,964 --> 00:40:27,842
‪尼克和所有喬納斯兄弟，我愛你們

820
00:40:27,925 --> 00:40:30,511
‪謝謝你們讓我從別的攝影棚出席

821
00:40:31,095 --> 00:40:33,597
‪因為你們沒錢請我過去

822
00:40:33,681 --> 00:40:34,682
‪再次謝了

823
00:40:37,226 --> 00:40:38,227
‪很好

824
00:40:39,353 --> 00:40:40,729
‪布雷克謝爾頓

825
00:40:42,231 --> 00:40:44,358
‪-哇
‪-天啊

826
00:40:44,442 --> 00:40:48,988
‪很多人不知道，喬納斯兄弟的粉絲

827
00:40:49,071 --> 00:40:49,989
‪遍及全世界

828
00:40:50,948 --> 00:40:51,907
‪請掌聲...

829
00:40:53,617 --> 00:40:56,537
‪歡迎來自大西洋對岸的

830
00:40:56,620 --> 00:40:58,122
‪特別吐槽來賓

831
00:40:58,205 --> 00:41:02,877
‪他是英國最知名的喜劇巨星
‪傑克懷特霍爾

832
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:03,919
‪請鼓掌

833
00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:07,715
‪傑克...

834
00:41:07,798 --> 00:41:09,383
‪傑克...

835
00:41:09,467 --> 00:41:10,676
‪傑克

836
00:41:10,759 --> 00:41:12,261
‪-傑克
‪-好耶

837
00:41:16,015 --> 00:41:16,932
‪是的

838
00:41:17,516 --> 00:41:18,851
‪真榮幸能來這裡

839
00:41:18,934 --> 00:41:22,354
‪我得警告你們，我們英國有吐司文化

840
00:41:22,438 --> 00:41:23,522
‪沒有吐槽文化

841
00:41:23,606 --> 00:41:24,982
‪而且我才不要

842
00:41:25,065 --> 00:41:27,776
‪站在你們面前一整晚

843
00:41:27,860 --> 00:41:32,072
‪批判這幾位優秀的年輕人

844
00:41:33,240 --> 00:41:34,575
‪-看看他們
‪-我才不相信

845
00:41:36,118 --> 00:41:39,288
‪你們這些帥氣的小混蛋

846
00:41:40,372 --> 00:41:41,707
‪你們的爸爸在哪裡？

847
00:41:41,790 --> 00:41:43,334
‪這個人一定很自豪

848
00:41:44,335 --> 00:41:45,669
‪凱文老爸

849
00:41:46,295 --> 00:41:47,505
‪是的

850
00:41:47,588 --> 00:41:51,091
‪頒一座艾美獎給他的老二吧

851
00:41:51,175 --> 00:41:53,928
‪他對音樂的貢獻太卓越了

852
00:41:55,554 --> 00:41:57,389
‪-沒錯
‪-請為凱文老爸的老二

853
00:41:57,473 --> 00:41:58,807
‪掌聲鼓勵

854
00:41:58,891 --> 00:41:59,892
‪有何不可？

855
00:42:02,811 --> 00:42:06,106
‪那玩意應該掛在搖滾名人堂才對

856
00:42:07,608 --> 00:42:09,985
‪沒錯，我覺得今晚是時候了

857
00:42:10,069 --> 00:42:12,696
‪我終於要向世人承認

858
00:42:12,780 --> 00:42:15,908
‪我不是戒毒前的約翰穆藍尼

859
00:42:17,576 --> 00:42:21,956
‪我是傑克懷特霍爾
‪我愛喬納斯愛上癮了

860
00:42:22,456 --> 00:42:24,375
‪是吧？感覺真好

861
00:42:25,751 --> 00:42:26,752
‪能說出來感覺真好吧？

862
00:42:26,835 --> 00:42:28,546
‪我超愛喬納斯的

863
00:42:29,338 --> 00:42:31,298
‪我是徹頭徹尾的喬迷

864
00:42:32,424 --> 00:42:34,802
‪我承認喜歡你們有點丟臉

865
00:42:34,885 --> 00:42:38,722
‪就像邊洗澡邊小便
‪或是搭Uber的時候打手槍

866
00:42:40,057 --> 00:42:43,727
‪而且這些嗜好之中，我覺得最丟臉的

867
00:42:43,811 --> 00:42:45,354
‪就是喜歡你們的音樂

868
00:42:46,230 --> 00:42:48,274
‪當然，搭Uber做的事也很丟臉

869
00:42:48,691 --> 00:42:52,486
‪但是成年男人為什麼不能
‪愛喬納斯兄弟？

870
00:42:53,112 --> 00:42:54,405
‪對啊，為什麼？

871
00:42:54,905 --> 00:42:57,992
‪我的音樂清單隨機放到勞凱利的歌
‪都沒被罵得那麼慘

872
00:43:00,286 --> 00:43:02,955
‪為什麼一定要聽重搖滾樂？

873
00:43:03,038 --> 00:43:05,040
‪我喜歡輕搖滾

874
00:43:05,874 --> 00:43:07,459
‪慢慢的適應

875
00:43:08,502 --> 00:43:11,463
‪這三個人看起來像是
‪應該站在服飾店門口

876
00:43:11,547 --> 00:43:12,923
‪工作的人

877
00:43:14,842 --> 00:43:16,802
‪也許兩個人站門口，一個在倉庫工作

878
00:43:18,178 --> 00:43:19,471
‪抱歉，尼克

879
00:43:19,555 --> 00:43:21,432
‪好，謝謝

880
00:43:21,515 --> 00:43:24,310
‪你們知道在英國
‪喜歡喬納斯兄弟的小男孩

881
00:43:24,393 --> 00:43:26,145
‪生活有多辛苦嗎？

882
00:43:26,604 --> 00:43:29,064
‪每天都有人欺侮我

883
00:43:29,148 --> 00:43:31,400
‪都是史萊哲林學院的男生

884
00:43:32,901 --> 00:43:36,697
‪被迫聽很酷的音樂

885
00:43:36,780 --> 00:43:41,035
‪或是時尚的音樂
‪不是讓人變呆的單調曲調

886
00:43:41,118 --> 00:43:41,994
‪（傑克懷特霍爾）

887
00:43:42,077 --> 00:43:45,414
‪“傑克，如果你聽喬納斯兄弟的歌
‪你會把不到妹”

888
00:43:45,497 --> 00:43:47,333
‪“說不定我不想把妹

889
00:43:48,334 --> 00:43:51,420
‪對我來說
‪喬納斯兄弟如手足，女人如衣服”

890
00:43:53,547 --> 00:43:54,423
‪好耶

891
00:43:54,506 --> 00:43:57,009
‪這樣吧，既然我們都是朋友

892
00:43:57,092 --> 00:43:59,303
‪而且這裡很安全
‪我要告訴你們更多事

893
00:43:59,386 --> 00:44:03,432
‪各位，我發誓婚前保持純潔

894
00:44:04,224 --> 00:44:05,267
‪沒錯

895
00:44:05,351 --> 00:44:08,020
‪把我的寶貝鎖起來，把鑰匙丟掉

896
00:44:09,104 --> 00:44:10,898
‪已經破處的人

897
00:44:10,981 --> 00:44:12,316
‪歡呼一下吧

898
00:44:14,026 --> 00:44:15,819
‪今晚這裡有很多處男處女

899
00:44:15,903 --> 00:44:16,904
‪很好

900
00:44:17,863 --> 00:44:19,990
‪我年輕的時候像你們一樣

901
00:44:20,074 --> 00:44:22,743
‪我也發誓要守貞

902
00:44:22,826 --> 00:44:28,248
‪我發誓不和學校任何女生亂來

903
00:44:30,250 --> 00:44:34,546
‪你們知道我怎麼辦到的嗎？

904
00:44:35,964 --> 00:44:38,467
‪都是因為你們，真的

905
00:44:38,550 --> 00:44:41,053
‪我愈常告訴別人，我聽你們的歌

906
00:44:41,136 --> 00:44:43,263
‪就愈沒有人想和我做愛

907
00:44:44,390 --> 00:44:48,352
‪乾脆把你們的唱片掛在脖子上
‪就像麻瘋病患的鈴鐺一樣

908
00:44:49,645 --> 00:44:50,896
‪我快笑死了

909
00:44:50,979 --> 00:44:55,442
‪但是說真的，我們得談談難過的時候

910
00:44:56,235 --> 00:44:58,695
‪2013年10月30日

911
00:44:59,405 --> 00:45:01,323
‪拜託別笑，這是很嚴肅的事

912
00:45:01,824 --> 00:45:03,617
‪音樂界的911事件

913
00:45:04,410 --> 00:45:09,581
‪那一天，我的心碎成千萬片

914
00:45:10,541 --> 00:45:13,419
‪聽著，我不會站在這裡指責誰

915
00:45:13,502 --> 00:45:16,171
‪我們可以整個晚上都在說
‪“尼克說了這個”

916
00:45:16,255 --> 00:45:17,256
‪“尼克做了那個”

917
00:45:17,339 --> 00:45:20,884
‪不，拆夥是大家共同決定的

918
00:45:20,968 --> 00:45:23,095
‪這樣尼克才能專心單飛

919
00:45:23,720 --> 00:45:26,723
‪除了尼克，不是任何人的錯

920
00:45:27,808 --> 00:45:29,476
‪看看他

921
00:45:30,853 --> 00:45:32,813
‪抱歉，我還是會傷心

922
00:45:34,565 --> 00:45:35,774
‪拆散兄弟的人

923
00:45:36,525 --> 00:45:38,235
‪流行樂界的梅根馬克爾

924
00:45:41,321 --> 00:45:43,574
‪現在樂團回來了

925
00:45:43,657 --> 00:45:44,700
‪好耶

926
00:45:46,660 --> 00:45:47,494
‪讚啦

927
00:45:48,912 --> 00:45:49,872
‪不客氣

928
00:45:51,039 --> 00:45:51,957
‪謝謝

929
00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:56,003
‪他們是阻止不了的
‪他們就像新冠病毒一樣

930
00:45:56,545 --> 00:45:59,423
‪如果我們從第二波疫情學到什麼教訓

931
00:45:59,506 --> 00:46:03,177
‪那就是這個社會無法根除喬納斯兄弟

932
00:46:03,260 --> 00:46:05,095
‪我們必須學著與他們共處

933
00:46:06,346 --> 00:46:08,223
‪希望他們不會變種

934
00:46:10,058 --> 00:46:13,228
‪我的重點是，除了開玩笑之外

935
00:46:13,312 --> 00:46:16,523
‪你們讓許多人留下難以平撫的傷痕

936
00:46:16,607 --> 00:46:18,275
‪尤其是我

937
00:46:18,358 --> 00:46:20,527
‪真的，傷害很大

938
00:46:20,611 --> 00:46:24,740
‪幾年前我走進紋身店時

939
00:46:24,823 --> 00:46:27,910
‪他們全都對我說，這是嚴重的錯誤

940
00:46:27,993 --> 00:46:30,204
‪你知道我怎麼說的嗎？

941
00:46:30,287 --> 00:46:31,622
‪我不會後悔

942
00:46:32,372 --> 00:46:34,291
‪“喬納斯兄弟如手足，女人如衣服”

943
00:46:40,088 --> 00:46:41,215
‪傑克

944
00:46:43,759 --> 00:46:44,718
‪好耶

945
00:46:44,801 --> 00:46:46,136
‪各位觀眾，傑克懷特霍爾

946
00:46:46,220 --> 00:46:47,095
‪哇

947
00:46:49,890 --> 00:46:50,933
‪那刺青太酷了

948
00:46:51,558 --> 00:46:54,228
‪任何在抖音上關注喬喬納斯的人

949
00:46:54,311 --> 00:46:57,356
‪我想應該大部分的人都是

950
00:46:57,439 --> 00:46:59,233
‪那你們就知道他最近

951
00:46:59,316 --> 00:47:03,320
‪在一世代對決喬納斯兄弟飛輪課程時
‪讓一世代慘敗

952
00:47:03,403 --> 00:47:05,447
‪-水啦
‪-所以這一次

953
00:47:05,531 --> 00:47:08,867
‪他決定再做一次
‪而且這次他找了奈爾霍倫

954
00:47:10,202 --> 00:47:12,496
‪但這一次，他們選擇臥底

955
00:47:12,579 --> 00:47:14,081
‪請掌聲鼓勵

956
00:47:14,873 --> 00:47:18,710
‪歡迎我正在面試的新老師

957
00:47:18,794 --> 00:47:21,088
‪史帝夫

958
00:47:21,171 --> 00:47:22,839
‪各位好，我們開始吧

959
00:47:22,923 --> 00:47:24,049
‪各位觀眾，你們好嗎？

960
00:47:24,132 --> 00:47:24,967
‪（喬喬納斯）

961
00:47:25,050 --> 00:47:25,884
‪好耶，我們開始吧

962
00:47:25,968 --> 00:47:29,680
‪我是史帝夫，真高興能來這裡

963
00:47:29,763 --> 00:47:31,223
‪各位，你們好嗎？

964
00:47:31,306 --> 00:47:34,560
‪我是托比，我來自澳洲雪梨

965
00:47:34,643 --> 00:47:35,477
‪（奈爾霍倫）

966
00:47:35,561 --> 00:47:36,937
‪你們好嗎？

967
00:47:37,521 --> 00:47:39,356
‪是嗎？太好了

968
00:47:39,439 --> 00:47:40,816
‪（第一回合）

969
00:47:42,568 --> 00:47:45,404
‪我聽說喬納斯兄弟根本不是親兄弟

970
00:47:45,487 --> 00:47:47,614
‪我聽說喬納斯兄弟根本不是親兄弟

971
00:47:48,657 --> 00:47:49,866
‪迪士尼作假

972
00:47:49,950 --> 00:47:50,993
‪迪士尼作假

973
00:47:51,827 --> 00:47:53,954
‪我朋友和濃眉那個交往過

974
00:47:54,037 --> 00:47:55,414
‪在床上超懶的

975
00:47:55,497 --> 00:47:57,416
‪我朋友和濃眉那個交往過

976
00:47:59,167 --> 00:48:02,337
‪她說他床功超爛，好吧

977
00:48:04,089 --> 00:48:05,924
‪一世代是最帥的男團

978
00:48:06,008 --> 00:48:06,842
‪對不對？

979
00:48:07,593 --> 00:48:09,803
‪說他們樂團大得多，永遠會比較大

980
00:48:09,886 --> 00:48:12,848
‪他們樂團大得多、而且更成功

981
00:48:15,142 --> 00:48:17,185
‪你們聽過奈爾霍倫嗎？

982
00:48:17,269 --> 00:48:18,645
‪他應該叫“奈爾爛人”才對

983
00:48:18,729 --> 00:48:19,688
‪對

984
00:48:19,771 --> 00:48:21,732
‪不，無聊死了

985
00:48:21,815 --> 00:48:22,691
‪你們認識他嗎？

986
00:48:23,650 --> 00:48:24,610
‪真是令人失望的傢伙

987
00:48:25,611 --> 00:48:28,447
‪他是他們團中最帥的一個

988
00:48:28,530 --> 00:48:32,117
‪他是他們團中最...
‪大家都在談論那個叫哈利的人

989
00:48:32,743 --> 00:48:36,204
‪他是他們團中最帥的

990
00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:39,166
‪你們同意嗎？

991
00:48:40,626 --> 00:48:41,710
‪騙子

992
00:48:43,003 --> 00:48:44,338
‪（第二回合）

993
00:48:44,421 --> 00:48:45,714
‪誰想要像我一樣的肌肉？

994
00:48:46,340 --> 00:48:49,926
‪誰想要像我一樣壯碩的肌肉？

995
00:48:50,385 --> 00:48:52,804
‪加油吧

996
00:48:52,888 --> 00:48:55,974
‪說：“誰想要堅實的腳踏車翹臀？

997
00:48:56,058 --> 00:49:00,896
‪別害羞，說出來
‪我們要堅實的腳踏車翹臀”

998
00:49:00,979 --> 00:49:03,273
‪好，誰想要和我一樣
‪堅實的腳踏車翹臀？

999
00:49:04,066 --> 00:49:05,067
‪喊出來聽聽

1000
00:49:06,318 --> 00:49:09,404
‪堅實的翹臀...

1001
00:49:10,197 --> 00:49:11,740
‪幸好我們在車庫裡

1002
00:49:11,823 --> 00:49:13,617
‪才有空間容納我的大屁股

1003
00:49:13,700 --> 00:49:15,744
‪幸好我們在車庫裡
‪才有空間容納我的大屁股

1004
00:49:18,789 --> 00:49:19,873
‪（第三回合）

1005
00:49:19,956 --> 00:49:22,417
‪告訴他們，你昨晚剛和女友分手

1006
00:49:22,501 --> 00:49:25,921
‪對了，我昨晚剛和女友分手

1007
00:49:27,047 --> 00:49:28,256
‪我覺得有點傷心

1008
00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:31,677
‪魔羯座的人可以休息一下

1009
00:49:32,219 --> 00:49:33,845
‪魔羯座的人可以休息一下

1010
00:49:35,055 --> 00:49:35,931
‪不要動

1011
00:49:36,014 --> 00:49:39,309
‪天蠍座的人要加倍用力踩

1012
00:49:39,393 --> 00:49:42,104
‪好，天蠍座的人要踩快一點

1013
00:49:42,187 --> 00:49:44,356
‪說：“我女友是天蠍座”
‪然後開始哭

1014
00:49:44,773 --> 00:49:46,316
‪我女友是天蠍座

1015
00:49:56,410 --> 00:49:57,536
‪你們喜歡托比嗎？

1016
00:49:57,619 --> 00:49:58,787
‪你們喜歡托比嗎？

1017
00:49:59,955 --> 00:50:01,832
‪我們昨晚出去

1018
00:50:01,915 --> 00:50:03,333
‪說：“他真是個爛人”

1019
00:50:03,417 --> 00:50:05,293
‪他真是個爛人，對吧？

1020
00:50:07,421 --> 00:50:08,463
‪說：“他不知道這件事

1021
00:50:08,547 --> 00:50:10,549
‪但我剛開始和他女友布魯克交往”

1022
00:50:10,632 --> 00:50:11,508
‪他不知道這件事

1023
00:50:11,591 --> 00:50:13,051
‪但我剛開始和他女友布魯克交往

1024
00:50:16,513 --> 00:50:17,472
‪好了，祝各位好運

1025
00:50:18,557 --> 00:50:19,641
‪真是太棒了

1026
00:50:20,267 --> 00:50:21,268
‪非常好

1027
00:50:21,351 --> 00:50:22,519
‪-天哪
‪-幹得漂亮

1028
00:50:22,602 --> 00:50:23,687
‪超搞笑的

1029
00:50:23,770 --> 00:50:27,983
‪謝謝各位參加這麼棒的課程

1030
00:50:28,066 --> 00:50:33,155
‪請掌聲鼓勵我們的特別來賓老師

1031
00:50:34,364 --> 00:50:36,783
‪好耶

1032
00:50:41,788 --> 00:50:44,583
‪好啦

1033
00:50:46,209 --> 00:50:48,420
‪謝謝各位，你們超讚的

1034
00:50:48,503 --> 00:50:50,338
‪我們來開趴吧

1035
00:50:51,965 --> 00:50:53,341
‪尖叫吧

1036
00:50:54,217 --> 00:50:55,761
‪我們還有兩位特別來賓

1037
00:50:59,639 --> 00:51:01,099
‪幹得好...

1038
00:51:01,183 --> 00:51:02,350
‪-謝謝你們
‪-幹得好

1039
00:51:03,143 --> 00:51:04,019
‪幹得好

1040
00:51:04,102 --> 00:51:05,771
‪幹得好，謝謝

1041
00:51:05,854 --> 00:51:07,564
‪謝謝你們，幹得好

1042
00:51:07,647 --> 00:51:09,733
‪這兩人之中，你們覺得誰比較好？

1043
00:51:09,816 --> 00:51:11,151
‪奈爾

1044
00:51:14,362 --> 00:51:16,406
‪很明顯，奈爾，你贏了

1045
00:51:22,662 --> 00:51:23,705
‪-演得很好
‪-當然

1046
00:51:26,833 --> 00:51:28,585
‪非常感謝奈爾霍倫

1047
00:51:28,668 --> 00:51:30,253
‪-請為大家再為他掌聲鼓勵
‪-好耶，奈爾

1048
00:51:33,173 --> 00:51:37,594
‪請歡迎為今天等了五年的人

1049
00:51:38,220 --> 00:51:39,596
‪蘇菲透納

1050
00:51:43,266 --> 00:51:44,768
‪-開始吧
‪-鼓掌

1051
00:51:49,397 --> 00:51:50,649
‪哈囉

1052
00:51:51,525 --> 00:51:52,359
‪大家好

1053
00:51:53,860 --> 00:51:56,488
‪我來這裡是因為，有人說在美國

1054
00:51:56,571 --> 00:52:00,158
‪大型的家庭聚會是講自家人

1055
00:52:00,242 --> 00:52:01,368
‪最難聽話的場合

1056
00:52:01,827 --> 00:52:05,080
‪當喬問我要不要來時
‪我就說：“好啊，豬頭”

1057
00:52:07,707 --> 00:52:09,876
‪我們就來談談貞潔戒指吧

1058
00:52:12,170 --> 00:52:14,464
‪如果你不知道的話

1059
00:52:14,548 --> 00:52:18,301
‪貞潔戒指是用來召告天下
‪你在結婚之前

1060
00:52:18,385 --> 00:52:19,511
‪都不會發生性行為

1061
00:52:19,594 --> 00:52:21,721
‪而喬納斯兄弟每個人都有

1062
00:52:21,805 --> 00:52:23,640
‪雖然我知道這是吐槽大會

1063
00:52:23,723 --> 00:52:26,017
‪你們以為我會吐槽他們

1064
00:52:26,101 --> 00:52:29,145
‪但我覺得要把話說清楚

1065
00:52:29,229 --> 00:52:32,148
‪貞潔戒指不是好主意

1066
00:52:33,149 --> 00:52:37,404
‪對，這種表態
‪既可笑又遜到讓人抓狂

1067
00:52:38,947 --> 00:52:43,326
‪但是請記住，這不只是個表態

1068
00:52:43,410 --> 00:52:46,538
‪事關信仰和原則

1069
00:52:46,621 --> 00:52:49,708
‪這是聲明立場、成為楷模

1070
00:52:50,125 --> 00:52:53,336
‪喬喬納斯不只是把手指伸進戒指裡

1071
00:52:53,420 --> 00:52:55,380
‪他也把手指伸進其他明星裡

1072
00:52:55,463 --> 00:52:59,759
‪女演員，甚至是一兩個超模

1073
00:53:05,807 --> 00:53:09,686
‪說實話，喬和貞潔戒指

1074
00:53:09,769 --> 00:53:11,229
‪有點像現代灰姑娘的故事

1075
00:53:11,313 --> 00:53:14,983
‪喬想找到適合戴那個戒指的人

1076
00:53:15,066 --> 00:53:17,986
‪最後，那個戒指適合我

1077
00:53:22,782 --> 00:53:25,702
‪這有點像灰姑娘的故事
‪也因為他之前找的女生

1078
00:53:25,785 --> 00:53:27,203
‪都和迪士尼有合約

1079
00:53:28,496 --> 00:53:29,331
‪噢...

1080
00:53:31,333 --> 00:53:35,378
‪我一定很愛他
‪因為我為了他搬來美國

1081
00:53:36,338 --> 00:53:38,131
‪但我也面對很多挑戰

1082
00:53:38,214 --> 00:53:41,134
‪光是不同的用語就是很大的挑戰

1083
00:53:41,217 --> 00:53:43,094
‪美國人說美洲南瓜

1084
00:53:43,178 --> 00:53:44,846
‪英國人說櫛瓜

1085
00:53:44,930 --> 00:53:48,141
‪路邊的道路，美國人說人行道

1086
00:53:48,224 --> 00:53:50,018
‪我們說紅磚道

1087
00:53:50,101 --> 00:53:52,771
‪有趣的是，在大西洋的這邊

1088
00:53:52,854 --> 00:53:54,981
‪《搖滾夏令營》的續集叫做
‪《搖滾夏令營2》

1089
00:53:55,065 --> 00:53:57,609
‪在英國叫做狗屁不通

1090
00:54:00,487 --> 00:54:01,321
‪是的

1091
00:54:02,697 --> 00:54:05,825
‪我開始演戲的時候
‪我就說我不會和演員交往

1092
00:54:05,909 --> 00:54:08,954
‪等我看過《搖滾夏令營2》後
‪我就知道和喬交往很安全

1093
00:54:11,039 --> 00:54:13,416
‪認識他們真的是很刺激的事

1094
00:54:13,500 --> 00:54:16,628
‪凱文很棒，尼克就是尼克

1095
00:54:19,923 --> 00:54:21,299
‪喬，我好愛你

1096
00:54:21,383 --> 00:54:24,636
‪我愛你的原因是
‪不論你們事業多成功

1097
00:54:24,719 --> 00:54:26,805
‪你們還是很愛紐澤西

1098
00:54:26,888 --> 00:54:29,724
‪我知道你們是紐澤西人

1099
00:54:29,808 --> 00:54:32,227
‪因為你們都是童聲男高音...

1100
00:54:32,310 --> 00:54:34,813
‪我開玩笑的，你們根本不會唱歌...

1101
00:54:36,439 --> 00:54:37,983
‪我很想來這個節目

1102
00:54:38,066 --> 00:54:40,318
‪因為喬納斯兄弟是很棒的樂團

1103
00:54:40,402 --> 00:54:43,655
‪不管你們認識的所有人怎麼說

1104
00:54:45,240 --> 00:54:46,157
‪我愛你們

1105
00:54:46,783 --> 00:54:48,576
‪我們聖誕節後台見

1106
00:54:48,660 --> 00:54:51,413
‪喬，別等我了
‪彼得大衛森給我他的電話

1107
00:54:51,496 --> 00:54:52,414
‪所以...

1108
00:54:54,290 --> 00:54:58,003
‪各位觀眾，蘇菲透納

1109
00:54:59,879 --> 00:55:01,131
‪北境女王

1110
00:55:01,756 --> 00:55:04,634
‪真是太棒了，真愛無誤

1111
00:55:06,469 --> 00:55:07,387
‪幹得好

1112
00:55:09,556 --> 00:55:11,433
‪喬，你想過她會這樣說嗎？

1113
00:55:11,516 --> 00:55:12,976
‪菲爾醫生還在嗎？

1114
00:55:15,562 --> 00:55:16,688
‪你們一家人真有風度

1115
00:55:16,771 --> 00:55:19,524
‪今晚我們知道

1116
00:55:20,191 --> 00:55:23,445
‪沒有人能像家人那樣令你抓狂

1117
00:55:24,070 --> 00:55:27,073
‪現在該讓兄弟之間

1118
00:55:27,157 --> 00:55:28,241
‪互相吐槽了

1119
00:55:30,076 --> 00:55:31,327
‪-沒錯
‪-要開始了

1120
00:55:31,911 --> 00:55:35,290
‪我們準備了這個板子
‪上面有好幾個類別

1121
00:55:35,373 --> 00:55:36,207
‪是關於你們的生活

1122
00:55:36,291 --> 00:55:38,209
‪你們每個人都有機會過來這裡

1123
00:55:38,293 --> 00:55:40,503
‪選擇一個類別，然後盡管吐槽

1124
00:55:40,587 --> 00:55:42,380
‪從年紀最大的開始吧

1125
00:55:42,464 --> 00:55:44,174
‪凱文，你先上

1126
00:55:44,257 --> 00:55:45,175
‪-好
‪-開始吧

1127
00:55:49,804 --> 00:55:50,930
‪各位好

1128
00:55:51,931 --> 00:55:54,267
‪-哇喔
‪-好耶

1129
00:55:54,851 --> 00:55:57,187
‪我要先從“單飛後的事業”開始

1130
00:55:57,270 --> 00:55:58,480
‪好，喬

1131
00:55:59,522 --> 00:56:02,901
‪我知道你在上台前要做一件事

1132
00:56:02,984 --> 00:56:06,029
‪你上台前要找人打你巴掌

1133
00:56:06,112 --> 00:56:06,946
‪是真的

1134
00:56:07,030 --> 00:56:08,448
‪真的很巧

1135
00:56:08,531 --> 00:56:11,451
‪因為我聽你的音樂時

1136
00:56:11,534 --> 00:56:13,161
‪也要找人開車撞我

1137
00:56:14,954 --> 00:56:18,750
‪真的，我喜歡
‪你和DNCE一起做的音樂

1138
00:56:18,833 --> 00:56:21,628
‪包括你的《海邊的蛋糕》
‪最暢銷金曲...

1139
00:56:30,470 --> 00:56:32,263
‪不，就這樣

1140
00:56:32,347 --> 00:56:34,849
‪你也嘗試演戲

1141
00:56:34,933 --> 00:56:37,685
‪他演《名模大間諜2》很棒吧？

1142
00:56:38,186 --> 00:56:39,187
‪對

1143
00:56:39,270 --> 00:56:40,688
‪這就是他

1144
00:56:42,315 --> 00:56:43,858
‪等等，不對

1145
00:56:43,942 --> 00:56:47,112
‪這只是萬聖節時喬打扮成名模大間諜

1146
00:56:48,446 --> 00:56:51,116
‪我們想從電影裡找到一個畫面

1147
00:56:51,199 --> 00:56:56,204
‪但他的角色太小了
‪完全沒有留下畫面證據

1148
00:56:59,165 --> 00:57:01,167
‪但是幹得好，喬，我們以你為榮

1149
00:57:03,711 --> 00:57:06,464
‪尼克，別這麼害怕

1150
00:57:07,382 --> 00:57:08,550
‪自從我請你上《嫁給喬納斯》之後

1151
00:57:08,633 --> 00:57:10,426
‪我還沒看過你這麼沮喪

1152
00:57:12,595 --> 00:57:14,347
‪尼克，你是三重威脅

1153
00:57:14,430 --> 00:57:16,307
‪你能歌能演

1154
00:57:16,391 --> 00:57:18,852
‪也可以威脅再次退出樂團

1155
00:57:22,355 --> 00:57:24,566
‪那件事完全沒給我心靈創傷

1156
00:57:27,485 --> 00:57:30,071
‪尼克很興奮能主持《周六夜現場》

1157
00:57:30,155 --> 00:57:32,157
‪他既是主持人也是音樂來賓

1158
00:57:34,576 --> 00:57:37,495
‪尼克終於能和他最喜歡的人合作了

1159
00:57:37,996 --> 00:57:38,955
‪那就是尼克喬納斯

1160
00:57:40,665 --> 00:57:44,794
‪吐槽之外，我很高興我不是單獨一人

1161
00:57:45,545 --> 00:57:48,256
‪我很高興我是你的大哥

1162
00:57:48,715 --> 00:57:49,799
‪你們倆的大哥

1163
00:57:49,883 --> 00:57:52,594
‪當然還有一位嬌妻丹妮兒

1164
00:57:53,094 --> 00:57:54,137
‪我愛妳

1165
00:57:55,930 --> 00:57:58,099
‪但我兩個可愛的女兒出生

1166
00:57:58,766 --> 00:58:03,646
‪還有名列《時人》雜誌最性感男性

1167
00:58:05,899 --> 00:58:07,692
‪沒錯，你們可以鼓掌了

1168
00:58:07,775 --> 00:58:08,818
‪我愛你們

1169
00:58:09,736 --> 00:58:10,612
‪兩位

1170
00:58:11,571 --> 00:58:12,822
‪吐槽完畢

1171
00:58:13,323 --> 00:58:15,533
‪凱文喬納斯，各位觀眾

1172
00:58:16,743 --> 00:58:17,952
‪幹得漂亮，小凱

1173
00:58:20,705 --> 00:58:21,539
‪好耶

1174
00:58:22,123 --> 00:58:26,002
‪接下來上台的是喬喬納斯

1175
00:58:26,085 --> 00:58:27,712
‪開始吧，喬

1176
00:58:30,757 --> 00:58:31,883
‪沒錯

1177
00:58:33,510 --> 00:58:34,385
‪沒錯

1178
00:58:37,263 --> 00:58:38,139
‪謝謝

1179
00:58:39,766 --> 00:58:42,477
‪我要選“童年”，200塊，謝謝

1180
00:58:43,895 --> 00:58:46,022
‪凱文，既然你剛才先上台
‪現在就在說你

1181
00:58:47,398 --> 00:58:49,400
‪凱文，你永遠是第一人

1182
00:58:49,484 --> 00:58:51,069
‪凱文是第一個孩子

1183
00:58:51,861 --> 00:58:53,738
‪第一個完成學業的人

1184
00:58:54,239 --> 00:58:55,615
‪第一個結婚的人

1185
00:58:56,199 --> 00:58:58,159
‪也是第一個被趕出樂團的人

1186
00:59:01,120 --> 00:59:04,082
‪凱文在小時候就找到自己的風格

1187
00:59:04,624 --> 00:59:06,834
‪他連夏天都會戴著圍巾

1188
00:59:08,920 --> 00:59:12,507
‪不是因為冷
‪而是因為他是20歲的搖滾明星

1189
00:59:12,590 --> 00:59:14,175
‪但脖子上完全沒有吻痕

1190
00:59:16,386 --> 00:59:18,137
‪而且你有時候很寂寞

1191
00:59:18,221 --> 00:59:20,306
‪我們錄製第一張專輯時

1192
00:59:20,390 --> 00:59:23,309
‪凱文會在廁所裡待很久
‪不知道在幹嘛

1193
00:59:23,393 --> 00:59:24,310
‪一天會去好幾次

1194
00:59:26,229 --> 00:59:29,983
‪我們讓才發現
‪廁所裡有很多本《花花公子》

1195
00:59:31,651 --> 00:59:33,570
‪凱文只有這時才會單獨表演

1196
00:59:36,990 --> 00:59:37,949
‪這個夠毒

1197
00:59:40,451 --> 00:59:42,662
‪我很幸運有凱文這個哥哥

1198
00:59:42,745 --> 00:59:44,205
‪他教會我好多事

1199
00:59:44,914 --> 00:59:46,624
‪例如，沒有社交生活也沒關係

1200
00:59:49,127 --> 00:59:50,211
‪尼克

1201
00:59:51,963 --> 00:59:53,881
‪尼克從小到大都沒變過

1202
00:59:53,965 --> 00:59:55,675
‪連他的小弟弟尺寸也沒變

1203
00:59:58,136 --> 01:00:00,555
‪尼克，如果不是你，我們也不會成團

1204
01:00:01,097 --> 01:00:03,182
‪我們只會是三個相親相愛的兄弟

1205
01:00:03,266 --> 01:00:05,393
‪而且不會一直講你有多自大

1206
01:00:09,564 --> 01:00:11,482
‪真好玩

1207
01:00:12,775 --> 01:00:13,818
‪我喜歡

1208
01:00:16,237 --> 01:00:18,239
‪我很高興不再和他們住在一起了

1209
01:00:18,323 --> 01:00:20,033
‪這樣吐槽容易得多

1210
01:00:22,243 --> 01:00:24,829
‪即使是小時候
‪尼克也是家中最嚴肅的人

1211
01:00:25,330 --> 01:00:28,875
‪他很嚴肅，他的奶頭也很大

1212
01:00:31,919 --> 01:00:32,795
‪假的

1213
01:00:33,671 --> 01:00:34,547
‪假新聞

1214
01:00:35,256 --> 01:00:36,132
‪假的

1215
01:00:37,425 --> 01:00:39,969
‪我可以馬上證明沒有那麼大

1216
01:00:40,595 --> 01:00:43,723
‪我們知道這是被改圖過的迷因

1217
01:00:44,349 --> 01:00:45,558
‪我們不知道是誰做的

1218
01:00:48,353 --> 01:00:49,479
‪說不定我們知道是誰

1219
01:00:53,858 --> 01:00:55,735
‪尼克年輕的身體裡住著一個老靈魂

1220
01:00:56,277 --> 01:00:58,196
‪我得說，他比我們任何人都成熟

1221
01:00:58,571 --> 01:01:01,282
‪即使尼克比她美麗的老婆琵豔卡
‪年輕十歲

1222
01:01:01,366 --> 01:01:02,241
‪她今天也在

1223
01:01:04,160 --> 01:01:06,537
‪糟了，我忽然想起來要趕快說完

1224
01:01:06,621 --> 01:01:07,622
‪明天還要上學

1225
01:01:07,705 --> 01:01:09,582
‪我答應琵豔卡
‪要在宵禁前送他回到家

1226
01:01:09,666 --> 01:01:12,710
‪真是抱歉，我會快點結束

1227
01:01:13,461 --> 01:01:17,173
‪聽著，我不相信什麼老二情結

1228
01:01:17,674 --> 01:01:20,510
‪我的生活很輕鬆，凱文是我哥哥

1229
01:01:21,260 --> 01:01:23,012
‪然後我弟弟是個難搞的小賤貨

1230
01:01:26,557 --> 01:01:28,059
‪放下麥克風

1231
01:01:28,142 --> 01:01:28,976
‪水啦

1232
01:01:31,979 --> 01:01:33,940
‪各位觀眾，喬喬納斯

1233
01:01:36,442 --> 01:01:37,402
‪太強了

1234
01:01:38,152 --> 01:01:41,155
‪-最後一位上場的是...
‪-肯南

1235
01:01:41,239 --> 01:01:42,073
‪肯南

1236
01:01:42,782 --> 01:01:43,783
‪幹得好

1237
01:01:43,866 --> 01:01:46,536
‪我受夠了

1238
01:01:47,704 --> 01:01:49,122
‪各位，尼克喬納斯

1239
01:01:51,958 --> 01:01:52,792
‪喬

1240
01:01:53,835 --> 01:01:58,423
‪我要讓大家看到
‪我的乳頭才沒有那麼大

1241
01:02:02,343 --> 01:02:03,803
‪好耶

1242
01:02:03,886 --> 01:02:06,264
‪我雖然是個難搞的小賤貨

1243
01:02:06,347 --> 01:02:07,932
‪但一個星期只有幾天會這樣

1244
01:02:10,727 --> 01:02:13,020
‪謝謝你們出席見證

1245
01:02:13,104 --> 01:02:15,565
‪喬納斯兄弟的拆夥

1246
01:02:18,192 --> 01:02:19,736
‪上次我們拆夥時

1247
01:02:20,069 --> 01:02:21,112
‪可沒那麼好笑

1248
01:02:21,779 --> 01:02:23,781
‪至少當時彼得大衛森不在

1249
01:02:23,865 --> 01:02:25,575
‪而且Netflix也沒付我們錢

1250
01:02:26,868 --> 01:02:28,911
‪我們無償拆夥

1251
01:02:29,829 --> 01:02:31,539
‪哪個正常人會做這種事？

1252
01:02:32,832 --> 01:02:35,293
‪我們還沒要拆夥，我保證

1253
01:02:39,088 --> 01:02:40,339
‪我們上次拆夥做得很好

1254
01:02:41,174 --> 01:02:42,216
‪樂團拆夥後

1255
01:02:42,759 --> 01:02:45,470
‪我們都能成長、做我們有熱情的事

1256
01:02:46,012 --> 01:02:48,806
‪讓創意和藝術能力發揮

1257
01:02:48,890 --> 01:02:53,227
‪例如喬成立很棒的樂團DNCE

1258
01:02:57,482 --> 01:02:58,649
‪而凱文

1259
01:03:04,405 --> 01:03:05,531
‪凱文很忙

1260
01:03:06,324 --> 01:03:08,826
‪他和美麗的丹妮兒生了孩子

1261
01:03:12,205 --> 01:03:14,999
‪他們生了兩個女兒
‪艾莉娜和瓦倫蒂娜

1262
01:03:15,082 --> 01:03:17,502
‪你們不知道，可悲的是

1263
01:03:17,585 --> 01:03:19,295
‪凱文成家後

1264
01:03:19,378 --> 01:03:22,298
‪他得暫緩副業

1265
01:03:22,924 --> 01:03:25,009
‪你們想問，他的副業是什麼？

1266
01:03:26,260 --> 01:03:28,513
‪那是喬納斯兄弟早期的事業

1267
01:03:28,596 --> 01:03:30,431
‪就是當我們戴上貞潔戒指時

1268
01:03:30,515 --> 01:03:33,476
‪凱文開始不可告人的副業

1269
01:03:33,559 --> 01:03:34,894
‪賺取一些小錢

1270
01:03:36,062 --> 01:03:37,897
‪不是音樂

1271
01:03:37,980 --> 01:03:38,856
‪不是演戲

1272
01:03:41,108 --> 01:03:42,360
‪是男伴遊服務

1273
01:03:43,611 --> 01:03:44,487
‪什麼？

1274
01:03:44,904 --> 01:03:47,448
‪別擔心，他守住貞潔了

1275
01:03:49,242 --> 01:03:50,660
‪他只是提供口交服務

1276
01:03:55,414 --> 01:03:56,457
‪抱歉，老爸

1277
01:03:57,959 --> 01:03:59,919
‪拜託，我們都知道凱文不是男伴遊

1278
01:04:00,002 --> 01:04:01,045
‪他是處男

1279
01:04:06,092 --> 01:04:07,552
‪我們每個人都有個頭銜

1280
01:04:07,635 --> 01:04:09,011
‪我是害羞的弟弟

1281
01:04:09,929 --> 01:04:11,097
‪喬是可愛的弟弟

1282
01:04:11,722 --> 01:04:14,058
‪凱文是處男

1283
01:04:15,601 --> 01:04:17,979
‪但沒關係，凱文
‪你利用這個賺了一大票

1284
01:04:18,062 --> 01:04:19,063
‪你演得很好

1285
01:04:19,647 --> 01:04:21,399
‪但你知道，到了現在

1286
01:04:21,482 --> 01:04:24,110
‪你真正開始把重要的東西...

1287
01:04:26,070 --> 01:04:26,904
‪握在手裡

1288
01:04:32,201 --> 01:04:34,370
‪但喬是真的男伴遊

1289
01:04:35,580 --> 01:04:37,832
‪只不過沒有人付錢給他

1290
01:04:40,042 --> 01:04:41,544
‪他做免費的

1291
01:04:42,795 --> 01:04:44,755
‪抱歉了，喬，我不是要給你難看
‪我說過我不會

1292
01:04:45,256 --> 01:04:47,216
‪你這下流的男妓

1293
01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:52,263
‪但我很高興你找到真愛

1294
01:04:52,346 --> 01:04:53,306
‪當然

1295
01:04:57,393 --> 01:04:59,604
‪凱文，多年來你打造的形象

1296
01:04:59,687 --> 01:05:00,730
‪是已婚好男人

1297
01:05:00,813 --> 01:05:03,190
‪但現在，我們要奪走這個形象

1298
01:05:05,192 --> 01:05:07,778
‪沒關係，你的形象可以拍成實境秀

1299
01:05:07,862 --> 01:05:10,656
‪你和丹妮兒有自己的節目
‪《嫁給喬納斯》

1300
01:05:13,117 --> 01:05:16,662
‪你還參與了一整季的
‪《名人版誰是接班人》

1301
01:05:18,372 --> 01:05:20,041
‪直到川普開除你為止

1302
01:05:22,501 --> 01:05:25,379
‪是我和川普唯一的共同點

1303
01:05:30,259 --> 01:05:31,969
‪我愛你們，過來吧

1304
01:05:32,053 --> 01:05:33,346
‪我們沒有要拆夥

1305
01:05:33,429 --> 01:05:34,347
‪來吧

1306
01:05:34,847 --> 01:05:36,557
‪各位，尼克喬納斯

1307
01:05:36,641 --> 01:05:37,934
‪太棒了

1308
01:05:38,851 --> 01:05:40,770
‪幸好一點也不尷尬

1309
01:05:40,853 --> 01:05:42,897
‪我們要感謝

1310
01:05:43,773 --> 01:05:44,899
‪蘇菲透納

1311
01:05:46,317 --> 01:05:47,777
‪丹妮兒喬納斯

1312
01:05:48,903 --> 01:05:50,696
{\an8}‪琵豔卡喬普拉喬納斯

1313
01:05:51,572 --> 01:05:56,702
{\an8}‪各位觀眾
‪謝謝收看《喬納斯兄弟吐槽秀》

1314
01:05:56,786 --> 01:05:57,620
{\an8}‪晚安

1315
01:06:02,500 --> 01:06:05,211
{\an8}‪來唷，來買紀念品

1316
01:06:05,294 --> 01:06:06,879
{\an8}‪各位，我有喬納斯兄弟紀念品

1317
01:06:06,963 --> 01:06:11,133
{\an8}‪你們要看看喬納斯兄弟的紀念品嗎？

1318
01:06:11,217 --> 01:06:13,177
{\an8}‪-不用了
‪-說到這個

1319
01:06:13,678 --> 01:06:15,596
{\an8}‪你們一定需要一組這個

1320
01:06:15,680 --> 01:06:18,683
{\an8}‪喬納斯兄弟六件組髮型設計

1321
01:06:19,642 --> 01:06:20,518
{\an8}‪只要80元

1322
01:06:20,601 --> 01:06:22,436
{\an8}‪80？那是一堆塑膠

1323
01:06:22,520 --> 01:06:24,480
{\an8}‪這是收藏版

1324
01:06:24,563 --> 01:06:26,440
{\an8}‪以後會變得很值錢

1325
01:06:26,983 --> 01:06:28,275
{\an8}‪等你們死後

1326
01:06:28,651 --> 01:06:33,114
{\an8}‪說到生活，這雙喬納斯兄弟拖鞋

1327
01:06:33,197 --> 01:06:34,281
{\an8}‪讓我過超爽的

1328
01:06:35,366 --> 01:06:38,035
{\an8}‪尼克，這是你的尺寸

1329
01:06:38,411 --> 01:06:41,872
{\an8}‪我的腳比那個大一點

1330
01:06:41,956 --> 01:06:43,874
{\an8}‪鞋子尺寸只是個迷思，但沒關係

1331
01:06:43,958 --> 01:06:46,544
{\an8}‪-只要50元
‪-50元？

1332
01:06:46,627 --> 01:06:49,046
{\an8}‪一隻50，這是兩件組

1333
01:06:49,130 --> 01:06:52,717
{\an8}‪謝謝你找到我們以前的商品

1334
01:06:52,800 --> 01:06:54,969
{\an8}‪而且還想賣給我們，但我餓了

1335
01:06:55,052 --> 01:06:56,762
{\an8}‪我要去吃東西了

1336
01:06:56,846 --> 01:07:01,017
{\an8}‪你餓了？瞧瞧這個
‪喬納斯兄弟便當盒

1337
01:07:02,184 --> 01:07:03,853
{\an8}‪我女兒會愛這個的

1338
01:07:03,936 --> 01:07:06,105
{\an8}‪只要15元，再送零食

1339
01:07:06,188 --> 01:07:08,399
{\an8}‪我們考慮一下，我們得走了

1340
01:07:08,482 --> 01:07:10,443
{\an8}‪好吧...

1341
01:07:10,526 --> 01:07:15,614
{\an8}‪這個如何？官方授權
‪獨一無二的尼克喬納斯皮夾

1342
01:07:15,698 --> 01:07:17,324
{\an8}‪那個就是我的皮夾

1343
01:07:17,950 --> 01:07:20,244
{\an8}‪我放在綠幕房間裡的
‪你拿走我的皮夾？

1344
01:07:20,327 --> 01:07:22,955
{\an8}‪拿走或借用，你可以拿回去

1345
01:07:23,956 --> 01:07:25,291
{\an8}‪只要200元

1346
01:07:25,374 --> 01:07:26,751
{\an8}‪老兄，你開什麼玩笑？

1347
01:07:26,834 --> 01:07:28,627
{\an8}‪還是算了，拿著吧

1348
01:07:28,711 --> 01:07:30,880
{\an8}‪拿著吧，因為我喜歡你

1349
01:07:30,963 --> 01:07:33,215
{\an8}‪雖然上一首歌...
‪好吧，這個怎麼樣？

1350
01:07:33,299 --> 01:07:37,470
{\an8}‪喬喬納斯的官方人偶

1351
01:07:37,553 --> 01:07:41,932
{\an8}‪等等，尼克和凱文的
‪《搖滾夏令營》唱歌人偶呢？

1352
01:07:42,600 --> 01:07:44,727
{\an8}‪大家會喜歡玩凱文的人偶

1353
01:07:44,810 --> 01:07:46,395
{\an8}‪繼續自我安慰吧，凱文

1354
01:07:47,563 --> 01:07:49,482
{\an8}‪你們看，還有一個

1355
01:07:50,816 --> 01:07:52,276
{\an8}‪我是你們的小甜心

1356
01:07:52,902 --> 01:07:55,029
{\an8}‪我說得比較好聽，還有別的

1357
01:07:55,112 --> 01:07:56,113
{\an8}‪-謝了
‪-好了

1358
01:07:56,197 --> 01:07:57,073
{\an8}‪-好吧
‪-再見

1359
01:07:57,156 --> 01:07:59,366
{\an8}‪我先去吃東西，晚點回來

1360
01:07:59,450 --> 01:08:00,367
{\an8}‪好

1361
01:08:02,369 --> 01:08:07,374
‪字幕翻譯：呂佩憶