1
00:00:28,861 --> 00:00:32,344
I got a star on my car
and one on my chest

2
00:00:32,354 --> 00:00:35,221
A gun on my hip
and the right to arrest

3
00:00:35,231 --> 00:00:38,588
I'm the guy who's the boss
on this highway

4
00:00:38,598 --> 00:00:41,437
So watch out what you're doin'
when you're drivin' my way

5
00:00:41,447 --> 00:00:44,315
If you break the law
you'll hear from me I know

6
00:00:44,325 --> 00:00:48,320
I'm working for the state
I'm the highway patrol

7
00:00:50,693 --> 00:00:53,725
Well, you know me when you see me
'cause my door's painted white

8
00:00:53,735 --> 00:00:57,053
My siren a-screamin'
and my flashin' red light

9
00:00:57,063 --> 00:00:59,807
I work all day
and I work all night

10
00:00:59,817 --> 00:01:02,724
Just to keep the law and order
tryin' to do what's right

11
00:01:02,734 --> 00:01:04,641
If I write you out a ticket

12
00:01:04,651 --> 00:01:06,559
Then you better drive slow

13
00:01:06,569 --> 00:01:10,394
I'm just a-doin' my job
I'm the highway patrol

14
00:01:11,846 --> 00:01:15,068
I'm the highway patrol
The highway patrol

15
00:01:15,078 --> 00:01:18,014
My hours are long
and my pay is low

16
00:01:18,090 --> 00:01:21,055
But I'll do my best
to keep you drivin' slow

17
00:01:21,065 --> 00:01:24,996
I'm just a-doin' my job
I'm the highway patrol

18
00:01:54,388 --> 00:01:58,887
[Male Narrating] Meet Charlie--
helpful dad, upstanding citizen...

19
00:01:58,897 --> 00:02:04,076
and an 18-year veteran of the greatest
law enforcement agency in the land.

20
00:02:04,086 --> 00:02:07,911
- [Whistling]
- the Rhode Island State Police.

21
00:02:12,087 --> 00:02:16,395
That's Charlie's home--
modest, like the man.

22
00:02:16,471 --> 00:02:18,858
Even though he lived
on the water,

23
00:02:18,868 --> 00:02:21,267
Charlie wasn't
much of a swimmer...

24
00:02:21,277 --> 00:02:24,403
which will come into play
a little later in our story.

25
00:02:24,413 --> 00:02:27,021
But I'm getting way ahead
of myself.

26
00:02:27,031 --> 00:02:32,758
You know, maybe it's best if we just
go back and begin at the beginning.

27
00:02:32,768 --> 00:02:36,595
As a young man, Charlie had the world
by its bootstraps.

28
00:02:36,605 --> 00:02:39,061
He was the best young trooper
on the force...

29
00:02:39,071 --> 00:02:42,418
and was dating the prettiest
and smartest gal in town.

30
00:02:42,428 --> 00:02:45,688
Her name was Layla,
just like the melody.

31
00:02:45,698 --> 00:02:47,866
Mmm, Charlie.

32
00:02:47,933 --> 00:02:50,993
You have no idea
how much I love you.

33
00:02:53,824 --> 00:02:56,673
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

34
00:02:56,740 --> 00:03:00,061
- Well, will you stay
with me no matter what?

35
00:03:00,071 --> 00:03:02,071
Of course, Charlie.

36
00:03:03,398 --> 00:03:06,908
Well, what if I had to move to the
Arctic, and you could never come home,

37
00:03:06,918 --> 00:03:09,143
and you had to eat whale blubber
for the rest of your life?

38
00:03:09,153 --> 00:03:13,233
- Would you still stay with me?
- Yeah, I'd stay.

39
00:03:15,944 --> 00:03:20,097
- But I hope that never happens.
- Yeah, me too.

40
00:03:20,164 --> 00:03:22,164
[Cheering]

41
00:03:24,395 --> 00:03:26,304
[Narrator]
Well, by spring time,

42
00:03:26,314 --> 00:03:28,222
they had made it official.

43
00:03:28,232 --> 00:03:30,146
Boy, let me tell you,

44
00:03:30,156 --> 00:03:32,066
that was some wedding.

45
00:03:32,076 --> 00:03:34,044
It was presided over
by Father Ken Gumbert,

46
00:03:34,054 --> 00:03:39,324
and half the Rhode Island
State Police Force was in attendance.

47
00:03:40,780 --> 00:03:44,860
- Congratulations, Charlie.
- Thank you, Captain.

48
00:03:45,643 --> 00:03:48,108
- [Engine Starts]
- [Cheering]

49
00:03:56,818 --> 00:03:58,818
[Laughing]

50
00:04:01,136 --> 00:04:03,136
- Ooh!
- All right.

51
00:04:06,123 --> 00:04:08,030
- Look what I got.
- Ooh!

52
00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:10,040
Whoo. Here we go.

53
00:04:11,658 --> 00:04:13,658
Ah.

54
00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:22,852
Oh, um, excuse me.
Do you people take checks?

55
00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:27,139
Say that again. Do we people
take checks? You mean, the black man?

56
00:04:27,149 --> 00:04:29,412
No, no, no, no, no.
God, no. Your company.

57
00:04:29,422 --> 00:04:32,617
Don't give me that backtracking
bullshit. That was a racist slur!

58
00:04:32,627 --> 00:04:34,824
No, it wasn't, really.
I-I would never--

59
00:04:34,834 --> 00:04:36,742
Tell you what!
I'll make it real easy for you.

60
00:04:36,752 --> 00:04:39,851
Why don't you just pay me
in cotton or a cartload of watermelons?

61
00:04:39,861 --> 00:04:42,890
Or how's about a couple
of them buckets of fried chicken?

62
00:04:42,900 --> 00:04:45,865
'Cause you know how we black people--
we just love fried chicken, Mr. Charlie.

63
00:04:45,875 --> 00:04:48,454
- Hey, no, come on now. Settle down.
- What's going on?

64
00:04:48,464 --> 00:04:51,299
This cat don't believe
a nigger knows how to cash a check.

65
00:04:51,309 --> 00:04:52,551
Ain't that about a bitch!

66
00:04:52,561 --> 00:04:55,754
Charlie, I don't wanna ever hear you
use the "N" word in this house.

67
00:04:55,764 --> 00:04:59,891
What? I-- I never said
anything remotely racist.

68
00:04:59,958 --> 00:05:03,318
- Oh, so it's
the little people thing then?

69
00:05:03,328 --> 00:05:03,564
No!

70
00:05:03,574 --> 00:05:06,440
You think just 'cause I'm small,
you can just push me around?

71
00:05:06,450 --> 00:05:08,369
Well, come on, my friend,
let's boogie.

72
00:05:08,379 --> 00:05:11,353
- I'm gonna give you a little
lesson in low center of gravity.

73
00:05:11,363 --> 00:05:11,602
What?

74
00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:13,904
- [Grunting]
- Hey, whoa, hey, stop it!

75
00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:16,782
Hey! Cut it--
Stop it now. Sir!

76
00:05:16,859 --> 00:05:19,371
Don't patronize me
with that "sir" crap.

77
00:05:19,381 --> 00:05:21,357
- Whoa, hey, those are illegal.
- [Gasping]

78
00:05:21,367 --> 00:05:24,186
Stop. Oh, God! Ow!

79
00:05:26,365 --> 00:05:29,203
- Oh, it's on now! It's on.
- Charlie!

80
00:05:29,213 --> 00:05:31,794
[Groaning]

81
00:05:31,871 --> 00:05:34,479
- Charlie, don't hit him!
- [Screaming]

82
00:05:34,489 --> 00:05:37,272
Charlie, Charlie, Charlie, stop it!
Charlie, stop it!

83
00:05:37,282 --> 00:05:41,522
Charlie, Charlie. Hey, hey, hey,
just let me handle this. Stop it!

84
00:05:41,532 --> 00:05:45,175
Excuse me, Mister, um,
"Jackson"--

85
00:05:45,252 --> 00:05:49,952
Uh-- Oh, stop it!
What-What-What is your first name?

86
00:05:50,019 --> 00:05:52,505
- It's Shonte.
- [Growling]

87
00:05:52,582 --> 00:05:57,311
Shonte, I'm-- I am--
I am so, so sorry. I apologize.

88
00:05:57,378 --> 00:06:01,146
Oh, come on, here.
Let me walk you to your car.

89
00:06:01,156 --> 00:06:04,150
I just don't have the patience for
people who judge books by their cover.

90
00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:06,077
And you shouldn't have to.

91
00:06:06,087 --> 00:06:09,656
Treating me like a dumbshit. I mean,
who does he think he's talking to?

92
00:06:09,666 --> 00:06:12,408
I'm a tenured professor
of molecular genetics over at Brown,

93
00:06:12,418 --> 00:06:15,241
- and I'm head
of the Boston chapter of MENSA.

94
00:06:15,251 --> 00:06:16,189
You're kidding?

95
00:06:16,199 --> 00:06:21,599
No. I'm just driving this limo
as a sociologic experiment, that's it.

96
00:06:21,609 --> 00:06:25,879
- But MENSA? I'm president
of the Providence chapter.

97
00:06:25,889 --> 00:06:26,845
No kidding.

98
00:06:26,855 --> 00:06:28,855
[Chuckling]

99
00:06:32,841 --> 00:06:36,870
[Narrator]Just when Charlie thought
life couldn't get any sweeter,

100
00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:40,965
old Mr. Stork dropped in
to pay him and Layla a visit.

101
00:06:40,975 --> 00:06:45,283
- [Groaning, Screaming]
- It's a boy!

102
00:06:45,359 --> 00:06:48,142
Oh, boy, oy, oy.

103
00:06:50,866 --> 00:06:52,866
Wow!

104
00:06:53,744 --> 00:06:58,530
He's so-- Wow!

105
00:06:58,607 --> 00:07:02,607
- [Panting]
- Huh? What?

106
00:07:02,674 --> 00:07:05,789
- [Screaming]
- Whoa, oh, my God, we're in luck.

107
00:07:05,799 --> 00:07:06,923
He's got company!

108
00:07:06,933 --> 00:07:10,060
- [Both Screaming]
- Push! Push!

109
00:07:11,346 --> 00:07:13,514
[Narrator]
Charlie loved those boys so much,

110
00:07:13,524 --> 00:07:15,566
he just couldn't face
the truth.

111
00:07:15,576 --> 00:07:20,676
And so he went on with his life,
as if everything was normal.

112
00:07:21,946 --> 00:07:24,756
Hey, Finneran.
Hey, Buddy.

113
00:07:24,823 --> 00:07:27,557
- Hey! Hope you brought
your appetite with ya.

114
00:07:27,567 --> 00:07:28,171
Oh, I did.

115
00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:30,377
- Ahh!
- Charlie, your kids look great.

116
00:07:30,387 --> 00:07:33,447
- Yeah, don't they? Thanks.
- Uh-huh.

117
00:07:36,124 --> 00:07:38,124
- Charlie,
- [Screams]

118
00:07:38,167 --> 00:07:40,306
just between you and me,

119
00:07:40,382 --> 00:07:44,430
did you ever notice that your kids have
sort of a year-round tan?

120
00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:47,030
Yeah, well, uh--

121
00:07:47,097 --> 00:07:49,744
- My great grandmother's half Italian.
- Half Italian?

122
00:07:49,754 --> 00:07:51,668
Oh, yeah.

123
00:07:51,678 --> 00:07:55,031
Well, that's probably why
the water beads off their hair, huh?

124
00:07:55,041 --> 00:07:57,821
[Sighs]
Yeah, so?

125
00:07:57,888 --> 00:08:01,836
- I mean, a lot of people have
different kind of hair.

126
00:08:01,846 --> 00:08:02,512
Oh, yeah.

127
00:08:02,522 --> 00:08:05,303
I mean, what are you--
what are you-- what are you getting at?

128
00:08:05,313 --> 00:08:08,543
No, no, I'm just saying is--
You know--

129
00:08:08,575 --> 00:08:10,579
Come on, Charlie,
goddamn it!

130
00:08:10,589 --> 00:08:13,016
Those kids' dicks are bigger
than them sausages.

131
00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:15,251
Knock it off, Finneran. Those are
my children you're talking about.

132
00:08:15,261 --> 00:08:17,930
- I've been meaning
to ask you about that.

133
00:08:17,940 --> 00:08:18,522
Finneran!

134
00:08:18,532 --> 00:08:20,997
Get over here.
It's your turn.

135
00:08:25,669 --> 00:08:28,537
Charlie, don't mind me.

136
00:08:28,614 --> 00:08:30,551
It's j-just the beer talking,
you know? Whoo!

137
00:08:30,561 --> 00:08:33,534
Hmm. Sure.

138
00:08:40,327 --> 00:08:45,726
[Charlie] There's something powerful
bubbling up inside me, Father,

139
00:08:45,736 --> 00:08:48,672
and I'm afraid that someday,

140
00:08:51,338 --> 00:08:54,984
if I don't do something,
I'm gonna explode.

141
00:08:55,051 --> 00:08:59,560
[Sighs] Where does this rage
come from, my son?

142
00:08:59,627 --> 00:09:03,886
I don't know.
It's a lot of things, really.

143
00:09:03,953 --> 00:09:06,082
Take my wife, for example.

144
00:09:06,092 --> 00:09:08,366
I love her like no other,

145
00:09:08,433 --> 00:09:12,001
but part of me suspects
that she may be having an affair.

146
00:09:12,011 --> 00:09:15,330
And I'm-I'm probably
just being paranoid here,

147
00:09:15,340 --> 00:09:17,613
but I get the feeling...

148
00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:22,185
that the entire town is
laughing at me behind my back.

149
00:09:23,379 --> 00:09:26,727
Charlie, that you?

150
00:09:26,804 --> 00:09:30,600
[Narrator] Eventually,
Charlie's worst fears were realized.

151
00:09:30,610 --> 00:09:35,944
I'm so sorry, Charlie.
Really, I am.

152
00:09:36,021 --> 00:09:40,971
But I have to do this.
I found my soul mate.

153
00:09:41,048 --> 00:09:43,048
But...
[Exhales]

154
00:09:43,062 --> 00:09:45,451
I thought I was your soul mate.

155
00:09:45,461 --> 00:09:47,461
Tsk. Oh.

156
00:09:47,513 --> 00:09:50,362
Come on, legs.
Let's roll, baby.

157
00:09:52,185 --> 00:09:54,832
I don't know what to say.

158
00:09:54,908 --> 00:09:59,073
I guess the heart just wants
what the heart wants.

159
00:10:00,348 --> 00:10:02,348
Bye, Charlie.

160
00:10:04,089 --> 00:10:05,997
But you said
you'd eat whale blubber.

161
00:10:06,007 --> 00:10:11,872
Oh, she'll be eating blubber,
all right, just as soon as I free willy.

162
00:10:19,677 --> 00:10:22,497
- [Groaning]
- [Engine Starts]

163
00:10:25,155 --> 00:10:29,912
[Narrator] It's funny how a man
reacts when his heart gets broken.

164
00:10:29,922 --> 00:10:32,501
Some break down
and cry like a baby.

165
00:10:32,511 --> 00:10:35,610
Others, they take out an Uzi
and climb a clock tower.

166
00:10:35,620 --> 00:10:38,746
But Charlie Bailey gates
didn't seem to react at all.

167
00:10:38,756 --> 00:10:40,670
He just swallowed hard,

168
00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:44,539
felt that slab of heartache
slide over the lump in this throat,

169
00:10:44,549 --> 00:10:46,881
and he locked it all away.

170
00:10:51,590 --> 00:10:53,623
As you can imagine,
it wasn't easy...

171
00:10:53,633 --> 00:10:57,049
for little Jamaal,
Lee Harvey and Shonte Junior...

172
00:10:57,059 --> 00:10:58,977
growing up without a mom,

173
00:10:58,987 --> 00:11:04,377
but Charlie made that little house into
a big old home, and the boys flourished.

174
00:11:04,387 --> 00:11:07,418
Let me tell you,
they were smart ones.

175
00:11:07,428 --> 00:11:11,198
- What are you buildin', fellas?
- An airplane, Daddy.

176
00:11:11,208 --> 00:11:13,502
[Imitating Airplane Engine]

177
00:11:13,512 --> 00:11:17,059
- [Laughing]
- Bye-bye!

178
00:11:17,127 --> 00:11:20,406
- [All] Bye, Daddy!
- Have a good time at work!

179
00:11:20,416 --> 00:11:22,416
Bye, Daddy!

180
00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:25,562
Love you, Daddy!

181
00:11:25,572 --> 00:11:28,148
Where he can't hide

182
00:11:28,225 --> 00:11:31,803
-From himself
- No. No!

183
00:11:31,871 --> 00:11:37,213
Hey! Stop it! Jamaal, you're
in a lot of trouble! Get off that!

184
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:39,575
Don't you take off in that!

185
00:11:41,030 --> 00:11:44,174
-How many seas
must a white dove sail

186
00:11:44,184 --> 00:11:45,463
Shonte Junior,

187
00:11:45,473 --> 00:11:48,253
How can you keep eatin' that crap
and never gain weight?

188
00:11:48,263 --> 00:11:51,486
- I don't know. Just lucky, I guess.
- [Chuckles]

189
00:11:51,496 --> 00:11:53,885
How many times

190
00:11:53,962 --> 00:11:57,035
-Must the cannonballs fly
- Do you believe his voice?

191
00:11:57,045 --> 00:11:58,104
That's Gomer Pyle!

192
00:11:58,114 --> 00:12:01,665
Before they're
forever banned

193
00:12:01,732 --> 00:12:04,247
- The answer, my friend
- Daddy, can we watch

194
00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:05,626
Richard Pryor on H.B.O.?

195
00:12:05,636 --> 00:12:07,842
-Is blowing in the wind
- Richard Pryor?

196
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:11,018
- Please.
- Okay.

197
00:12:13,357 --> 00:12:14,940
In Africa, though,
I go out

198
00:12:14,950 --> 00:12:16,226
in the country. Whoo!

199
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:20,197
You see some lions and shit.
I'm talkin' about real lions,

200
00:12:20,207 --> 00:12:23,842
not them kind you be
fuckin' with in the zoo.

201
00:12:23,852 --> 00:12:28,102
You fuck with the lions,
"Hey, lion, motherfucker!"

202
00:12:28,591 --> 00:12:31,679
Be throwin' shit at it.
Lion be, "Uh-oh, oh!"

203
00:12:31,689 --> 00:12:34,630
[Narrator] As they have
a way of doing, the years

204
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:36,294
passed some what regularly.

205
00:12:36,304 --> 00:12:40,170
And the boys, well,
they came into their own.

206
00:12:40,237 --> 00:12:44,486
...is make her
toss my salad!

207
00:12:44,563 --> 00:12:47,527
The guy's like, "Toss my salad?
W-Well, what's that?"

208
00:12:47,537 --> 00:12:49,580
Yeah, well,
having your salad tossed...

209
00:12:49,590 --> 00:12:53,482
means having your asshole
eaten out with jelly or syrup.

210
00:12:53,492 --> 00:12:55,492
I prefer syrup.

211
00:12:56,371 --> 00:12:58,827
He's a funny motherfucker.

212
00:13:03,221 --> 00:13:06,318
[Narrator] Although Charlie's
police work had started to suffer,

213
00:13:06,328 --> 00:13:08,237
the kids were doing great.

214
00:13:08,247 --> 00:13:13,513
Damn! I can't figure out the atomic
mass of this motherfuckin' deuteron.

215
00:13:13,523 --> 00:13:15,977
Shit, man,
that shit's simple.

216
00:13:15,987 --> 00:13:19,373
- Look. Tell me this, tell me this.
- What, what?

217
00:13:19,383 --> 00:13:23,441
- What's a deuteron made up of?
- Duh, a proton and a neutron.

218
00:13:23,451 --> 00:13:27,509
Then what's this motherfuckin' electron
doin' right there?

219
00:13:27,519 --> 00:13:31,182
- Shit, I don't know.
- Well, get it outta there then!

220
00:13:31,192 --> 00:13:33,671
Okay, so you sayin' I add up
the atomic masses of the proton

221
00:13:33,681 --> 00:13:34,645
and the neutron, right?

222
00:13:34,655 --> 00:13:36,254
- Mm-hmm.
- I sees that, but what do I do

223
00:13:36,264 --> 00:13:37,302
with the goddamn electron?

224
00:13:37,312 --> 00:13:39,220
Can I bring it over here?

225
00:13:39,230 --> 00:13:41,552
Enrico Fermi would roll over
in his motherfuckin' grave

226
00:13:41,562 --> 00:13:42,809
if he heard that stupid shit.

227
00:13:42,819 --> 00:13:45,427
I mean, he'd just turn over ass up
in your face. He wouldn't give a fuck.

228
00:13:45,437 --> 00:13:47,442
Man,Jamaal, man,
just cut my man some slack, dog.

229
00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:48,376
Look here, I'm just try
in'

230
00:13:48,386 --> 00:13:49,561
to help him save face, all right?

231
00:13:49,571 --> 00:13:52,467
He keep askin' questions like that,
motherfuckers gonna think he's stupid.

232
00:13:52,477 --> 00:13:54,387
- I ain't stupid.
- Mornin', fellas.

233
00:13:54,397 --> 00:13:57,236
- Oh, hey, Dad.
- Hey, Pops, how you doin', man?

234
00:13:57,246 --> 00:14:00,565
- What's all the commotion down here?
-Just school shit and shit.

235
00:14:00,575 --> 00:14:03,331
- How's my little guy doin'?
- Strugglin'. This quantum

236
00:14:03,341 --> 00:14:04,411
physics is confusing.

237
00:14:04,421 --> 00:14:07,544
- If I don't buckle down,
I'm gonna get myself another B-plus.

238
00:14:07,554 --> 00:14:08,573
Oh, that'd be whack.

239
00:14:08,583 --> 00:14:12,315
Man, he so fuckin' dumb,
he think calculus is a goddamn emperor.

240
00:14:12,325 --> 00:14:15,388
- Give it up, dog.
- Well, you think polypeptide's

241
00:14:15,398 --> 00:14:17,082
a motherfuckin' toothpaste.

242
00:14:17,092 --> 00:14:21,725
Oh, I gotta get outta here.
I don't want to have to bust a cap.

243
00:14:21,735 --> 00:14:24,124
Kisses.

244
00:14:24,201 --> 00:14:26,466
Mm, Daddy.

245
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:27,694
- See ya later.
- Love

246
00:14:27,704 --> 00:14:28,478
ya! All right.

247
00:14:28,488 --> 00:14:33,409
[Narrator] Yeah, Charlie was gettin'
a lot of respect inside the house,

248
00:14:33,419 --> 00:14:37,860
but outside--
well, that was another story.

249
00:14:41,639 --> 00:14:43,653
Mornin', Ed.

250
00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:46,435
Charlie.

251
00:14:46,502 --> 00:14:49,055
Say, Ed, did you see
where my paper went today?

252
00:14:49,065 --> 00:14:52,125
Uh, the wife's got it
in the shitter.

253
00:14:53,323 --> 00:14:57,984
Well, could you tell her to throw it
on the porch when she's done?

254
00:14:57,994 --> 00:15:00,204
Can't you get one at work?

255
00:15:04,173 --> 00:15:07,896
Yeah, I
...suppose I could.

256
00:15:07,906 --> 00:15:09,905
You betcha.

257
00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:22,255
I'd like that

258
00:15:22,322 --> 00:15:26,696
If we could cycle
down some lane

259
00:15:26,772 --> 00:15:30,322
I'd like that

260
00:15:30,389 --> 00:15:34,062
If we could ride
into the rain

261
00:15:34,129 --> 00:15:36,241
No mess getting wet

262
00:15:36,308 --> 00:15:38,764
I'd be your Albert

263
00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:42,189
If you'd be Victoria

264
00:15:42,265 --> 00:15:45,391
Ha, ha
We'd laugh because

265
00:15:45,468 --> 00:15:50,073
Each drop would make me
grow up really high

266
00:15:50,140 --> 00:15:54,102
Really high like a really high thing
say a sun flower

267
00:15:54,112 --> 00:15:56,913
- Hey, Charlie.
- Hey, George, Herb.

268
00:15:56,923 --> 00:15:59,089
- Hi, Charlie.
- How do, fellas?

269
00:15:59,099 --> 00:16:01,239
- Hi, Charlie.
- Listen, Dick, I was--

270
00:16:01,249 --> 00:16:05,105
Hey, guys, check out
the rack on this one.

271
00:16:05,182 --> 00:16:07,182
Whoa!

272
00:16:07,235 --> 00:16:09,488
Oh, yeah,
that's what daddy likes.

273
00:16:09,498 --> 00:16:11,801
It looks like a dead heat
in a zeppelin race.

274
00:16:11,811 --> 00:16:15,158
- Yeah, a couple of Hindenburgs, huh?
- Oh, the humanity!

275
00:16:15,168 --> 00:16:18,568
Come on, guys, take it easy.
She's a mom.

276
00:16:21,537 --> 00:16:24,021
[Laughing]

277
00:16:25,248 --> 00:16:27,248
"She's a mom."

278
00:16:29,345 --> 00:16:32,660
- She's not my mom!
- She's a yummy mom.

279
00:16:35,781 --> 00:16:38,331
- You kill me!
- "She's a mom."

280
00:16:43,877 --> 00:16:48,578
Sure, that is good.
Oh.

281
00:16:48,646 --> 00:16:52,347
Listen, uh, Dick, I'm sorry,
uh, to bother you like this,

282
00:16:52,357 --> 00:16:57,181
but, uh, uh, your-your-your car
is gonna have to be moved.

283
00:16:57,191 --> 00:16:59,772
[Chuckling]
Yeah, sure, Charlie, okay.

284
00:16:59,782 --> 00:17:04,060
I should be done here
in another ten or fifteen minutes.

285
00:17:04,070 --> 00:17:06,880
You know,
I hate to be a stickler, Dick,

286
00:17:06,890 --> 00:17:09,086
but, uh, the law states that you can't
park in one place for more than an hour,

287
00:17:09,096 --> 00:17:12,550
and you've been there for--

288
00:17:12,617 --> 00:17:14,689
goin' on three days now.

289
00:17:16,079 --> 00:17:20,041
All right, all right,
the law's the law.

290
00:17:20,108 --> 00:17:24,358
Park it behind the grocery store,
will ya, Charlie?

291
00:17:26,708 --> 00:17:29,040
Yeah, sure.

292
00:17:30,804 --> 00:17:34,055
- This one?
- [Narrator] There's an old saying.

293
00:17:34,065 --> 00:17:37,359
- An ostrich with his head
in the sand makes a lousy cop.

294
00:17:37,369 --> 00:17:37,893
My fault.

295
00:17:37,903 --> 00:17:40,684
You see, if you can't deal
with your own problems,

296
00:17:40,694 --> 00:17:43,494
- well, it's hard to deal with others'.
- Sweetie.

297
00:17:43,504 --> 00:17:46,287
Sweetie?
That's kind of dangerous.

298
00:17:46,297 --> 00:17:49,068
You wanna move it up onto the sidewalk,
away from the traffic?

299
00:17:49,078 --> 00:17:54,056
My dad says you're a joke,
and I don't have to listen to you.

300
00:17:54,066 --> 00:17:56,109
[Sighs]

301
00:17:56,186 --> 00:17:59,976
Well, your father
is entitled to his opinion,

302
00:18:00,052 --> 00:18:02,987
but I am an officer of the law,
and, uh, by all rights, I--

303
00:18:02,997 --> 00:18:06,532
- Fuck off!
- You should watch your mouth,

304
00:18:06,542 --> 00:18:07,629
little girl.

305
00:18:07,639 --> 00:18:11,535
[Screaming]

306
00:18:14,872 --> 00:18:17,762
[Woman]
Thank you, have a nice day.

307
00:18:18,873 --> 00:18:21,591
- Excuse me. Charlie! Hey!
- Hey.

308
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,985
You mind if I get ahead of you?
I'm in a wicked rush. Is that okay?

309
00:18:23,995 --> 00:18:26,000
- Oh, yeah, sure, go ahead.
- You're a doll.

310
00:18:26,010 --> 00:18:28,983
- Aw.
- Hey, kids, over here! Now!

311
00:18:31,036 --> 00:18:34,874
Didn't I tell you to stay with me?
Stop! Put those down!

312
00:18:34,884 --> 00:18:37,694
[Drums]

313
00:18:44,350 --> 00:18:48,351
Nyah, nyah, nyah-nyah-nyah
We're gonna rock you

314
00:18:51,813 --> 00:18:53,813
[Groaning]

315
00:18:58,912 --> 00:19:00,912
[Exhales]

316
00:19:02,116 --> 00:19:05,253
-[Stops]
- [Chattering]

317
00:19:15,949 --> 00:19:19,210
"VagiClean," huh?
What's the matter, honey?

318
00:19:19,220 --> 00:19:21,855
Little extra cheese
on the taco?

319
00:19:23,153 --> 00:19:25,533
- Excuse me.
- No, excuse me.

320
00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:30,634
There's no tag on this.

321
00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:32,716
Price check on VagiClean,
aisle five.

322
00:19:32,726 --> 00:19:37,867
I repeat. Price check on VagiClean,
aisle five. That's VagiClean.

323
00:19:37,877 --> 00:19:40,528
We got a customer down here
with a full-on fallopian fungus.

324
00:19:40,538 --> 00:19:41,839
She's baking a loaf of bread,

325
00:19:41,849 --> 00:19:44,553
and I think it's sourdough.
[Inhales]

326
00:19:44,563 --> 00:19:46,414
[Gasps]

327
00:19:46,424 --> 00:19:49,455
Put a rush on that.

328
00:19:51,193 --> 00:19:53,234
Hey, big guy,
did you hear the news?

329
00:19:53,244 --> 00:19:56,468
My son, Billy, got the lead
in the high school musical.

330
00:19:56,478 --> 00:19:59,963
Well, I guess he likes
the cock after all.

331
00:20:01,216 --> 00:20:02,644
Wha--

332
00:20:02,654 --> 00:20:04,659
[Muffled Screams]

333
00:20:04,736 --> 00:20:08,987
- [Whistling]
-I'm basically no good

334
00:20:09,054 --> 00:20:11,576
Still wanna skip rope
on the street?

335
00:20:11,586 --> 00:20:13,648
I'm gonna tell my daddy
on you, Charlie!

336
00:20:13,658 --> 00:20:16,497
Wrong answer.
And the name's Hank, fuckface.

337
00:20:16,507 --> 00:20:20,027
[Continues Whistling]

338
00:20:20,094 --> 00:20:24,027
And I'm not fit to touch

339
00:20:24,094 --> 00:20:26,874
- The hem of your garment
- [Whistling]

340
00:20:26,884 --> 00:20:29,340
And no, no

341
00:20:29,408 --> 00:20:31,546
I'm not fit to touch

342
00:20:31,614 --> 00:20:35,807
The hem of your garment

343
00:20:35,874 --> 00:20:38,877
- [Baby Crying]
- [Gasps]

344
00:20:40,449 --> 00:20:42,362
[Growling]

345
00:20:42,372 --> 00:20:44,699
- [Crying Continues]
- [Continues Gasping]

346
00:20:44,709 --> 00:20:46,684
[Slurping]

347
00:20:46,694 --> 00:20:48,997
[Continues, Indistinct]

348
00:20:51,586 --> 00:20:54,148
- [Men Screaming]
- [Yells]

349
00:21:01,870 --> 00:21:03,870
There you go, Dick.

350
00:21:03,913 --> 00:21:07,971
I parked it for ya.
By the way,

351
00:21:10,281 --> 00:21:12,321
you got a headlight out.

352
00:21:15,885 --> 00:21:17,629
Yeah

353
00:21:17,639 --> 00:21:21,189
Oh, no

354
00:21:21,265 --> 00:21:24,296
All right

355
00:21:27,243 --> 00:21:29,243
[Continues]

356
00:21:33,650 --> 00:21:35,650
[Woman Screams]

357
00:21:47,799 --> 00:21:50,254
[Grunting]

358
00:21:50,322 --> 00:21:53,228
[Grunting Continues]

359
00:21:53,304 --> 00:21:57,162
- Mm-mm, that looks good.
- Here you go, Colonel.

360
00:21:57,172 --> 00:21:59,637
Very good, Malcolm.
Thank you.

361
00:21:59,675 --> 00:22:01,968
Colonel, we got a problem.
There's something wrong with Charlie.

362
00:22:01,978 --> 00:22:03,405
- [Dispatcher] One-X to 112.
- 1 1 2 responding.

363
00:22:03,415 --> 00:22:07,186
- [Dispatcher] One-X to 112.
- 1 1 2 responding.

364
00:22:07,196 --> 00:22:09,747
[Narrator] Of course, there's
not much about this sort of thing...

365
00:22:09,757 --> 00:22:12,307
in the Rhode Island
State Police manual,

366
00:22:12,317 --> 00:22:16,788
so they sent him up to Boston to see
a team of highly trained head doctors.

367
00:22:16,798 --> 00:22:19,472
They quickly identified
the problem.

368
00:22:19,482 --> 00:22:21,516
You got a major screw loose.

369
00:22:21,526 --> 00:22:23,444
Huh?

370
00:22:23,454 --> 00:22:27,984
- Doctors have diagnosed you
as having a split personality.

371
00:22:27,994 --> 00:22:28,692
A schizo.

372
00:22:28,702 --> 00:22:31,925
- I-I don't remember any of this.
- That's because...

373
00:22:31,935 --> 00:22:35,637
according to that report, it wasn't you
that this was happening to.

374
00:22:35,647 --> 00:22:37,554
- It was this other guy.
- Hank.

375
00:22:37,564 --> 00:22:40,087
- Huh?
- He said his name was Hank.

376
00:22:40,097 --> 00:22:42,120
- And apparently Hank is
trying to get out.

377
00:22:42,130 --> 00:22:42,993
Trying to get out?

378
00:22:43,003 --> 00:22:45,719
What do you mean, "get out"?
How did he get in?

379
00:22:45,729 --> 00:22:47,992
- You created him.
- By not dealing with

380
00:22:48,002 --> 00:22:49,335
your problems, Charlie.

381
00:22:49,345 --> 00:22:52,193
[Inhales Deeply]
Ever since, uh--

382
00:22:52,260 --> 00:22:53,881
[Stammering]

383
00:22:53,891 --> 00:22:58,237
Well, you know, you've been
avoiding confrontation.

384
00:22:58,304 --> 00:23:01,874
- But this guy inside-- he doesn't.
- Hank.

385
00:23:01,892 --> 00:23:05,718
Doctors feel that, uh, you've created
this character out of necessity.

386
00:23:05,728 --> 00:23:07,647
You never stick up
for yourself.

387
00:23:07,657 --> 00:23:10,111
- [Sighs]
- Charlie,

388
00:23:10,179 --> 00:23:14,089
why didn't you take
a vacation when Layla left?

389
00:23:17,067 --> 00:23:19,580
Why would I?
You know?

390
00:23:19,657 --> 00:23:23,743
I mean, wives leave their husbands
every day in this country.

391
00:23:23,753 --> 00:23:26,237
There's no reason
to shortchange the department.

392
00:23:26,247 --> 00:23:29,987
I mean, it's not like I had the flu.
[Crying]

393
00:23:32,137 --> 00:23:35,398
[Sniffling, Sighing]

394
00:23:36,943 --> 00:23:38,852
Have you picked up
your medication, Charlie?

395
00:23:38,862 --> 00:23:41,193
[Crying Continues]
Mm-hmm.

396
00:23:43,437 --> 00:23:47,745
[Sighs]
I'm really not crazy about it, though.

397
00:23:47,822 --> 00:23:49,729
You know,
it makes me so dry.

398
00:23:49,739 --> 00:23:52,330
You have to take it anyway.
Dr. Rabinowitz assure us...

399
00:23:52,340 --> 00:23:54,247
that if you do,
everything'll be fine.

400
00:23:54,257 --> 00:23:56,713
[Woman]
This is a bunch of crap!

401
00:23:56,723 --> 00:24:00,234
No wonder you're the smallest state.
Little mind, little state.

402
00:24:00,244 --> 00:24:02,470
It shouldn't even be a state. It should
be the District of Rhode Island.

403
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:04,644
- Whatever you say.
- Can you take these

404
00:24:04,654 --> 00:24:06,153
goddamn things off, please?

405
00:24:06,163 --> 00:24:09,223
And could you stop
looking at my ass?

406
00:24:09,874 --> 00:24:12,070
Pritchard, what--
what's going on out here?

407
00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:14,344
Well, Colonel, her name's
Waters, Irene P.

408
00:24:14,354 --> 00:24:18,574
I pulled her over on 95
for a broken tail light. I ran a check.

409
00:24:18,584 --> 00:24:20,973
She's got an outstanding warrant
in up state New York.

410
00:24:20,983 --> 00:24:23,702
- Hit and run?
- Hit and run. Injured pedestrian

411
00:24:23,712 --> 00:24:24,810
signed a complaint.

412
00:24:24,820 --> 00:24:29,002
Oh, well, I think I might remember that.
That is ridiculous.

413
00:24:29,012 --> 00:24:31,904
- I've never been in an accident.
Not in my whole life.

414
00:24:31,914 --> 00:24:32,177
Well,

415
00:24:32,187 --> 00:24:35,438
I've just gotten off the phone
with the New York State Patrol.

416
00:24:35,448 --> 00:24:39,103
They don't seem to think
it's so ridiculous.

417
00:24:39,736 --> 00:24:41,970
Look,j u--
How can we fix--

418
00:24:42,037 --> 00:24:44,244
Were you in Massena, New York,
last Friday, second of May?

419
00:24:44,254 --> 00:24:47,861
Well, yeah, I live there,
but I didn't have any accident.

420
00:24:47,871 --> 00:24:51,859
Look, I'm just driving
down to Block Island to see my sister.

421
00:24:51,869 --> 00:24:55,186
You seem like a nice guy.
Is there anyway you might

422
00:24:55,196 --> 00:24:56,982
let me handle this by mail?

423
00:24:56,992 --> 00:25:00,464
Unfortunately, Miss Waters,
I'm not the one you have to convince.

424
00:25:00,474 --> 00:25:03,602
If there's been a mistake,
you have to clear it up in Massena.

425
00:25:03,612 --> 00:25:06,202
What? Okay, wait.
You--

426
00:25:06,269 --> 00:25:09,013
Because of somebody else's mistake,
I have to get in my car...

427
00:25:09,023 --> 00:25:12,933
and drive all the way back
to upstate New York?

428
00:25:19,939 --> 00:25:21,939
No, ma'am.

429
00:25:24,197 --> 00:25:27,682
We'll have one
of our troopers escort you.

430
00:25:29,923 --> 00:25:32,532
- [Phone Ringing]
- Hey, Hollywood, turn

431
00:25:32,542 --> 00:25:34,078
your fucking phone off.

432
00:25:34,088 --> 00:25:36,121
- Yeah?
- [Irene] You're an asshole.

433
00:25:36,131 --> 00:25:38,049
Oh, hello, Irene.
What did I do now?

434
00:25:38,059 --> 00:25:40,897
Listen, I'm sitting at a police station
somewhere in Rhode Island,

435
00:25:40,907 --> 00:25:43,775
and they're shipping me back
to Massena on some bogus crap.

436
00:25:43,785 --> 00:25:45,694
- Sound familiar?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down.

437
00:25:45,704 --> 00:25:47,811
- I don't have a clue
what you're talking about.

438
00:25:47,821 --> 00:25:48,130
Dickie!

439
00:25:48,140 --> 00:25:50,471
Cut the bullshit!
[Sighing]

440
00:25:53,607 --> 00:25:57,982
Listen to me, okay?
It's over, Dickie. It's over.

441
00:25:58,059 --> 00:26:00,802
So please just stop
messing with me,

442
00:26:00,812 --> 00:26:03,623
and call your friends and
tell them to back off, okay?

443
00:26:03,633 --> 00:26:05,540
Look, I'm being
a straight shooter here.

444
00:26:05,550 --> 00:26:07,651
If you need help,
I'll help you.

445
00:26:07,661 --> 00:26:12,677
Just give me all the details. I'll
get to the bottom of it. All right?

446
00:26:12,687 --> 00:26:16,007
Massena, New York? Man, goddamn,
Daddy, that's damn near Canada.

447
00:26:16,017 --> 00:26:18,822
I know, I know.
It wasn't my idea.

448
00:26:18,836 --> 00:26:21,981
I gotta take this gal up north,
and then the colonel ordered me

449
00:26:21,991 --> 00:26:23,306
to take a week's vacation.

450
00:26:23,316 --> 00:26:25,445
Why a week?
Man, that's a long motherfuckin' time.

451
00:26:25,455 --> 00:26:28,813
Well, he wants me to rest while
I'm getting used to the medication.

452
00:26:28,823 --> 00:26:33,129
Aw, come on, you don't have to worry
about us, Daddy. We're grown up now.

453
00:26:33,139 --> 00:26:35,624
These two motherfuckers can do
the shoppin', and I'll do the cookin'.

454
00:26:35,634 --> 00:26:38,525
Man, you do the cookin'?
You thought you got chipped beef

455
00:26:38,535 --> 00:26:39,719
from a toothy blow job.

456
00:26:39,729 --> 00:26:44,266
You're gonna have Shonte Junior down
under goddamn 400 pounds. Fuck that.

457
00:26:44,276 --> 00:26:47,374
- Can't have that happen. Okay, guys.
- No, we can't, we can't.

458
00:26:47,384 --> 00:26:50,900
I'm not leaving till morning.
You know the rules when I go:

459
00:26:50,910 --> 00:26:52,362
No bitches after 11:00.

460
00:26:52,372 --> 00:26:54,033
[All Laughing]

461
00:26:54,043 --> 00:26:55,949
- All right, Pops!
- Yeah, man.

462
00:26:55,959 --> 00:26:58,240
- Bye, Daddy!
- Got ya, Papa!

463
00:26:58,250 --> 00:27:00,250
Love you, Daddy!

464
00:27:01,130 --> 00:27:04,612
Now who the hell's
this Irene honey, anyway?

465
00:27:04,622 --> 00:27:06,693
She worked for me
the past couple years.

466
00:27:06,703 --> 00:27:09,380
I hired her to be
my golf course superintendent.

467
00:27:09,390 --> 00:27:13,485
- We got close.
- No, you got stupid.

468
00:27:13,552 --> 00:27:17,080
For the love of shit,
these are the loose ends that can

469
00:27:17,090 --> 00:27:18,981
hang you, Dickie. And me too.

470
00:27:18,991 --> 00:27:22,395
- How much does she know?
- She might have gotten wind

471
00:27:22,405 --> 00:27:23,366
of some things.

472
00:27:23,376 --> 00:27:25,993
Yeah, well,
we're gonna find out.

473
00:27:26,003 --> 00:27:28,613
The complaint was signed
by a guy named Peterson.

474
00:27:28,623 --> 00:27:30,637
He's with the E.P.A.

475
00:27:30,704 --> 00:27:33,668
E.P.A.?
I thought they were in our pocket.

476
00:27:33,678 --> 00:27:36,201
Well, not all of 'em.

477
00:27:50,331 --> 00:27:52,371
- Hang on, ma'am.
- Yeah.

478
00:28:00,604 --> 00:28:03,856
This vacation is
just what Charlie needs.

479
00:28:03,866 --> 00:28:07,127
I bet he's a new man
when he gets back.

480
00:28:07,194 --> 00:28:09,333
If we let him back.

481
00:28:10,494 --> 00:28:12,978
What do you mean?

482
00:28:13,055 --> 00:28:17,141
Well, I mean that he's become
a pretty big liability.

483
00:28:17,151 --> 00:28:19,387
We may have to let him go.

484
00:28:19,454 --> 00:28:23,318
Let him go? But-But, Captain,
police work is Charlie's whole li--

485
00:28:23,328 --> 00:28:27,156
I know, I know, damn it.
I know.

486
00:28:27,233 --> 00:28:30,846
I found you sittin'
on a suit case cryin'

487
00:28:30,856 --> 00:28:33,267
I found you sittin'
on a suit case cryin'

488
00:28:33,277 --> 00:28:35,348
It's a great time of year
to ride,

489
00:28:35,358 --> 00:28:38,588
long as you don't mind
one or two bugs.

490
00:28:41,861 --> 00:28:44,442
I laugh out loud
'cause it's the one thing

491
00:28:44,452 --> 00:28:48,375
I hadn't been trying

492
00:28:49,891 --> 00:28:52,921
The train came in breathless
The passengers restless

493
00:28:52,931 --> 00:28:56,231
She said
Baby you'll never change

494
00:28:56,289 --> 00:29:00,672
You gotta get gone
You gotta get goin'

495
00:29:00,739 --> 00:29:05,700
The world ain't slowin' down
for no one

496
00:29:05,767 --> 00:29:10,026
It's a carnival
callin' out to you

497
00:29:11,876 --> 00:29:15,483
It sounds like a song
It hits you like scripture

498
00:29:15,493 --> 00:29:18,298
Boy, you can't beat
the open road!

499
00:29:18,313 --> 00:29:20,519
[Insect Buzzing]

500
00:29:20,587 --> 00:29:25,603
Weren't you the kid who just
climbed on the merry-go-round

501
00:29:25,670 --> 00:29:29,738
Hey look the world
ain't slowin' down

502
00:29:31,561 --> 00:29:34,466
-Hey, hey
- Oh, no!

503
00:29:34,543 --> 00:29:38,735
Oh, my goodness.
Geez.

504
00:29:38,793 --> 00:29:41,766
[Sighs]
Those damn truckers.

505
00:29:41,833 --> 00:29:46,180
You know, you'd think they'd
call someone to come clean this up.

506
00:29:46,190 --> 00:29:48,941
Poor thing.
Oh, that's terrible.

507
00:29:49,009 --> 00:29:51,878
- Whew. Whoa.
- Ew.

508
00:29:51,954 --> 00:29:55,148
By the looks of her,
she's been here for a while.

509
00:29:55,158 --> 00:29:58,630
Well, I doubt we're gonna be able
to move her, but we should try.

510
00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:00,617
You wanna get that end?
Just give it a little push?

511
00:30:00,627 --> 00:30:04,070
- Really?
- Yeah, yeah, we should give it a shot.

512
00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:06,804
- Okay? Go ahead.
- Okay.

513
00:30:06,871 --> 00:30:09,835
-Just-Just push as hard as you can.
- Yeah, okay.

514
00:30:09,845 --> 00:30:11,845
- [Grunting]
- [Mooing]

515
00:30:11,898 --> 00:30:13,810
-Jesus! Whoa!
- Oh!

516
00:30:13,820 --> 00:30:16,108
- Okay, you just--
- Oh, it's still alive.

517
00:30:16,118 --> 00:30:20,233
-Just stand back. I'll take care of it.
- God, that's terrible.

518
00:30:20,243 --> 00:30:24,310
- Oh. Now, don't-don't look, okay?
- Yeah.

519
00:30:24,377 --> 00:30:26,377
[Sighs]

520
00:30:29,115 --> 00:30:33,366
Well, old girl, [Sighs]
your suffering's over.

521
00:30:38,526 --> 00:30:41,337
[Bird Squawking]

522
00:30:41,404 --> 00:30:45,749
[Narrator]Oh, it ain't always easy
doing Mother Nature's work.

523
00:30:45,759 --> 00:30:47,762
- [Mooing]
- [Screams]

524
00:30:47,772 --> 00:30:48,406
Oh,J--

525
00:30:48,416 --> 00:30:50,416
[Grunts]

526
00:30:53,980 --> 00:30:55,980
[Sighs]

527
00:30:56,004 --> 00:30:58,786
Oh.
Do you believe that?

528
00:30:58,844 --> 00:31:01,567
- No, it's-- Yech.
- [Mooing]

529
00:31:01,634 --> 00:31:04,090
- Oh, my God in heaven!
- [Irene Groaning]

530
00:31:04,100 --> 00:31:06,585
- Oh, God!
- [Groaning]

531
00:31:06,661 --> 00:31:09,721
God! What the hell
is wrong with you?

532
00:31:09,761 --> 00:31:11,761
Die!

533
00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:14,586
Let go!
Let go, girl!

534
00:31:14,596 --> 00:31:17,337
- On to greener pastures. Come on.
- [Mooing]

535
00:31:17,347 --> 00:31:20,022
They're clear-cutting a place
in heaven for you. [Grunting]

536
00:31:20,032 --> 00:31:23,391
- Come on! Help me out! Do something!
- But--

537
00:31:23,401 --> 00:31:26,206
- I don't-- [Stammering]
- Let go!

538
00:31:28,197 --> 00:31:30,624
Let it go!
Go!

539
00:31:30,691 --> 00:31:34,651
- [Gurgling]
- [Gasps, Sighs]

540
00:31:34,728 --> 00:31:36,642
[Pants, Sighs]
Oh!

541
00:31:36,652 --> 00:31:38,652
[Panting]

542
00:31:40,523 --> 00:31:45,376
Well, that was tough,

543
00:31:45,453 --> 00:31:48,580
but I think we did
the right thing.

544
00:31:58,634 --> 00:32:02,049
Patrol car, yes.
Okay, thank you.

545
00:32:03,698 --> 00:32:05,737
- Can I help you?
- Yes, I'm Officer Bailey gates,

546
00:32:05,747 --> 00:32:06,825
Rhode Island State Police.

547
00:32:06,835 --> 00:32:10,691
I have, uh, your prisoner,
Miss Irene Waters here.

548
00:32:10,701 --> 00:32:14,346
- All right. I'll tell them you're here.
- Okay-dee, right-dee.

549
00:32:14,356 --> 00:32:16,356
[Phone Ringing]

550
00:32:20,342 --> 00:32:22,644
[Charlie Whistling]

551
00:32:24,687 --> 00:32:27,660
- What are those for?
- Huh?

552
00:32:27,727 --> 00:32:30,990
Oh, it's just
this stupid thing.

553
00:32:31,057 --> 00:32:36,016
I have to take a pill every six hours
or I feel funny. No big deal.

554
00:32:36,026 --> 00:32:39,056
- What's it called?
- [Exhales]

555
00:32:39,124 --> 00:32:44,989
Advanced delusionary schizophrenia
with involuntary narcissistic rage.

556
00:32:45,245 --> 00:32:47,245
Ah.

557
00:32:48,189 --> 00:32:51,000
Does your ass feel numb?

558
00:32:52,669 --> 00:32:57,685
No, but they give me
unbelievable cotton mouth.

559
00:32:57,752 --> 00:33:01,139
- I meant from the ride.
- Oh, no, no.

560
00:33:01,215 --> 00:33:04,870
Over the years,
my ass has taken a pounding.

561
00:33:05,311 --> 00:33:06,260
Miss Waters,
my name is Peterson.

562
00:33:06,270 --> 00:33:07,671
Miss Waters,
my name is Peterson.

563
00:33:07,681 --> 00:33:10,098
This is my partner,
Agent Boshane.

564
00:33:10,108 --> 00:33:13,330
We're with the Environmental Protection
Agency's Special Investigations.

565
00:33:13,340 --> 00:33:15,253
- The E.P.A.?
- Yeah.

566
00:33:15,263 --> 00:33:17,177
What'd I hit?
A bald headed eagle?

567
00:33:17,187 --> 00:33:19,728
Well, we'll explain that
to you, ma'am,

568
00:33:19,738 --> 00:33:24,498
but right now, we're gonna ask you
to come along with us.

569
00:33:24,515 --> 00:33:27,843
- Well, why don't you
just explain it to me now?

570
00:33:27,853 --> 00:33:28,698
Well, ma'am,

571
00:33:28,708 --> 00:33:33,274
we put your hit-and-run report out
on the wire in order to track you down.

572
00:33:33,284 --> 00:33:37,543
- Track me down for what?
- Agent Boshane?

573
00:33:40,420 --> 00:33:44,574
I want to remind you again,
our station's at your disposal.

574
00:33:44,584 --> 00:33:46,877
You're more than welcome to use
any of our interrogation rooms.

575
00:33:46,887 --> 00:33:51,389
We appreciate it, Lieutenant Gerke,
but we're all set.

576
00:33:51,399 --> 00:33:55,475
All right. Well,
if there's anything at all I c--

577
00:34:05,736 --> 00:34:08,834
[Garbled]
Uh, excuse me.

578
00:34:08,910 --> 00:34:13,160
I'm just gonna
get myself a drink of water.

579
00:34:15,625 --> 00:34:18,013
[Slurping]

580
00:34:20,787 --> 00:34:24,096
Ahh! So if I could, uh,
[Clears Throat]

581
00:34:24,172 --> 00:34:26,464
just get someone to sign this,
I'll be on my way.

582
00:34:26,474 --> 00:34:28,843
Yeah.

583
00:34:29,938 --> 00:34:31,912
Well, Miss Waters,
uh, good luck.

584
00:34:31,922 --> 00:34:33,763
And I hope everything
works out great for you.

585
00:34:33,773 --> 00:34:36,268
Thanks a lot, Charlie.

586
00:34:37,717 --> 00:34:40,403
I haven't done anything wrong,
and you know it.

587
00:34:40,413 --> 00:34:44,513
What about the marijuana roaches
you left behind when you moved

588
00:34:44,523 --> 00:34:45,976
out of your apartment?

589
00:34:45,986 --> 00:34:49,641
So I smoked some pot.
What is that, a crime?

590
00:34:50,523 --> 00:34:52,441
Uh-huh.

591
00:34:52,451 --> 00:34:55,059
As is being an accessory
to bribery, embezzlement,

592
00:34:55,069 --> 00:34:56,978
tax evasion
and racketeering.

593
00:34:56,988 --> 00:35:01,263
- What are you talking about?
- Does the name Dickie Thurman

594
00:35:01,273 --> 00:35:02,140
ring a bell?

595
00:35:02,150 --> 00:35:04,606
His company,
Cedar Creek Limited,

596
00:35:04,616 --> 00:35:07,349
has been under a sealed
grand jury investigation for 18 months.

597
00:35:07,359 --> 00:35:11,225
How does that make me an accessory?
I laid some sod on Dickie's golf course.

598
00:35:11,235 --> 00:35:11,387
So?

599
00:35:11,397 --> 00:35:15,741
Tell me this--a big operation like
the Cedar Creek Country Club--

600
00:35:15,751 --> 00:35:18,362
how'd you get the job
as the head greens keeper?

601
00:35:18,372 --> 00:35:22,879
By default. This guy,
Tedeschi or Tedescho,

602
00:35:22,947 --> 00:35:24,862
he was hired before me,
but he died.

603
00:35:24,872 --> 00:35:27,167
Heart problem or something.

604
00:35:28,904 --> 00:35:30,754
[Narrator]
The feds believed that Irene knew...

605
00:35:30,764 --> 00:35:32,673
more than
she thought she knew,

606
00:35:32,683 --> 00:35:34,715
and her life was in danger.

607
00:35:34,725 --> 00:35:38,466
They explained that everything had
been happening right under her nose--

608
00:35:38,476 --> 00:35:42,275
payoffs of government agencies, threats
towards those who stood in the way,

609
00:35:42,285 --> 00:35:44,932
and her predecessor's
heart attack?

610
00:35:44,942 --> 00:35:48,126
Well, that was just
cold blooded murder.

611
00:35:48,136 --> 00:35:50,477
Oh, man.

612
00:35:58,410 --> 00:36:00,932
Can you excuse me?

613
00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:20,713
Pizza kid.

614
00:36:22,708 --> 00:36:26,122
- How much?
- Uh, that comes to 13.95.

615
00:36:26,199 --> 00:36:28,199
[Grunts]

616
00:36:40,693 --> 00:36:42,693
[Grunts]

617
00:36:50,008 --> 00:36:52,347
Oh, son of a bitch!

618
00:37:00,158 --> 00:37:02,158
[Car Departing]

619
00:37:03,293 --> 00:37:05,293
[Panting]

620
00:37:08,511 --> 00:37:10,966
[Narrator] Well, it was a good thing
Charlie had told her...

621
00:37:10,976 --> 00:37:15,601
he was staying at the Chuck E. Cheese
Lodge and Miniature Golf Resort.

622
00:37:15,611 --> 00:37:17,202
Charlie?

623
00:37:17,212 --> 00:37:21,586
Irene finagled a key
from the front desk and let her self in.

624
00:37:21,596 --> 00:37:23,596
Charlie.

625
00:37:25,308 --> 00:37:27,308
[Snoring]

626
00:37:33,127 --> 00:37:37,146
- Charlie, what's going on here?
- Hmm? Irene?

627
00:37:37,223 --> 00:37:39,745
Oh! Oh, uh, uh--
[Chuckling]

628
00:37:39,812 --> 00:37:43,994
Irene, I was just, um--
I was gonna, um, study your file...

629
00:37:44,004 --> 00:37:46,824
and, uh, try to find
a loophole.

630
00:37:48,905 --> 00:37:52,129
Did your lips get as chapped
as mine on the ride down?

631
00:37:52,139 --> 00:37:54,075
Nevermind!
I need your help.

632
00:37:54,085 --> 00:37:56,828
There was a shootout down at the thing,
and the agents are dead.

633
00:37:56,838 --> 00:38:00,129
- Dead?
- Yeah, they were after me, Charlie.

634
00:38:00,139 --> 00:38:00,474
Oh, God. See, this is Dickie's work.
I know it.

635
00:38:00,484 --> 00:38:04,394
Oh, God. See, this is Dickie's work.
I know it.

636
00:38:07,085 --> 00:38:11,266
- So what are you gonna do?
- We'll call the police.

637
00:38:11,276 --> 00:38:13,185
What?
No, you can't do that.

638
00:38:13,195 --> 00:38:16,388
Dickie has those guys in his
back pocket. That's why I came to you.

639
00:38:16,398 --> 00:38:18,402
- How-- Wha-- How do you--
- Oh!

640
00:38:18,412 --> 00:38:21,607
Hey, this is serious shit!
You don't--

641
00:38:21,674 --> 00:38:24,130
[Sighs]
I'm outta here.

642
00:38:24,207 --> 00:38:26,572
Hey, wait. No, don't do that!
Come on, hold on!

643
00:38:26,582 --> 00:38:28,485
Just let me think for a second, okay?

644
00:38:28,495 --> 00:38:31,976
Think someplace else, Charlie. This is
the first place they're gonna look.

645
00:38:31,986 --> 00:38:33,986
Damn it!

646
00:38:41,137 --> 00:38:44,962
- So where are we going, anyway?
- You'll see!

647
00:38:46,001 --> 00:38:48,686
[Narrator]
Well, they went on the lam for a bit,

648
00:38:48,696 --> 00:38:51,717
- and then Charlie made
a couple of phone calls.

649
00:38:51,727 --> 00:38:53,727
[Barking]

650
00:39:00,755 --> 00:39:03,411
Irene, take it easy now.

651
00:39:03,479 --> 00:39:06,413
- Charlie?
- Don't worry. I'll take care of it.

652
00:39:06,423 --> 00:39:09,972
- Hey.
- Good work, Bailey gates.

653
00:39:10,039 --> 00:39:11,968
- Thanks.
- I'm sorry I had to meet you

654
00:39:11,978 --> 00:39:13,043
all the way out here.

655
00:39:13,053 --> 00:39:14,959
No, that's okay.
It's just as well.

656
00:39:14,969 --> 00:39:17,454
Poor gal's a little paranoid.
My kids are like that.

657
00:39:17,464 --> 00:39:19,487
Somewhere along the line,
they just get this idea that

658
00:39:19,497 --> 00:39:20,524
the cops are the bad guys--

659
00:39:20,534 --> 00:39:24,659
[Grunting, Gasping]

660
00:39:27,106 --> 00:39:30,960
Listen, I don't know what's going on,
and I didn't tell the feds anything.

661
00:39:30,970 --> 00:39:34,587
Dickie told me
you were street smart, huh?

662
00:39:34,654 --> 00:39:36,563
Why the hell would you
run back to this idiot?

663
00:39:36,573 --> 00:39:38,913
[Drums]

664
00:39:42,146 --> 00:39:45,886
Drop the gun, moron.
You're being videotaped.

665
00:39:48,133 --> 00:39:52,890
- What are you talkin' about?
- There's a camera on my bike.

666
00:39:52,900 --> 00:39:56,730
- [Irene Screams]
- Hard to hit a moving target,

667
00:39:56,740 --> 00:39:58,740
isn't it?

668
00:39:59,874 --> 00:40:02,914
- [Grunting]
- [Groaning]

669
00:40:10,819 --> 00:40:12,958
[Panting]

670
00:40:13,034 --> 00:40:15,232
Score. Good move.

671
00:40:15,309 --> 00:40:18,119
Get in the car.

672
00:40:18,186 --> 00:40:22,606
Come on, come on, come on,
come on, come on, come on.

673
00:40:23,595 --> 00:40:27,230
[Irene] Would you mind telling me what
the hell you were thinking back there?

674
00:40:27,240 --> 00:40:29,955
Calling that cop
was unbelievably stupid.

675
00:40:29,965 --> 00:40:33,130
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

676
00:40:33,197 --> 00:40:35,297
Tweak the high end
of your emotional E.Q, sweetbeak.

677
00:40:35,307 --> 00:40:37,341
The funky chicken
was Charlie's dance.

678
00:40:37,351 --> 00:40:40,997
I'm a tango man myself.

679
00:40:41,074 --> 00:40:44,009
[Tango]

680
00:40:44,076 --> 00:40:45,988
[Snarls]

681
00:40:45,998 --> 00:40:50,053
[Narrator]As you can imagine,
there was some explaining to do.

682
00:40:50,063 --> 00:40:53,419
So, Hank, [Clears Throat]
as he called himself,

683
00:40:53,429 --> 00:40:57,515
found a quiet spot
and spelled out the whole darn mess.

684
00:40:57,525 --> 00:41:00,938
Okay, so what you're saying is
that you're not Charlie.

685
00:41:00,948 --> 00:41:03,693
Come on, you've seen Charlie in action.
The guy's like origami.

686
00:41:03,703 --> 00:41:07,051
He folds under pressure.
When the big game's on the line,

687
00:41:07,061 --> 00:41:08,614
he's busy ridin' the pine.

688
00:41:08,624 --> 00:41:11,259
Okay, wait, wait.
Can you just--

689
00:41:15,923 --> 00:41:18,638
It's simple.

690
00:41:18,705 --> 00:41:20,939
Charlie's the mouse
that got you into the maze.

691
00:41:20,949 --> 00:41:23,760
I'm the rat who knows
how to find the cheese.

692
00:41:23,770 --> 00:41:27,214
The name's Hank--
Hank Evans.

693
00:41:27,291 --> 00:41:30,801
- For little girls
- So it's true.

694
00:41:30,869 --> 00:41:34,321
- Charlie is a schizo.
- I wouldn't know.

695
00:41:34,389 --> 00:41:37,900
I stay outta his business,
he stays outta mine.

696
00:41:37,910 --> 00:41:39,910
Look.

697
00:41:42,619 --> 00:41:44,756
Just because I rock
doesn't mean I'm made of stone.

698
00:41:44,766 --> 00:41:47,099
I feel your fear.

699
00:41:47,165 --> 00:41:51,330
It's comin' through like static
on my heart radio.

700
00:41:52,673 --> 00:41:55,003
Hank? Hank.

701
00:41:56,030 --> 00:41:59,060
I really, really
appreciate your help,

702
00:41:59,070 --> 00:42:01,938
but is there anyway
that maybe we could get...

703
00:42:01,948 --> 00:42:05,334
Charlie back out here
for a little huddle?

704
00:42:05,344 --> 00:42:07,344
No problem.

705
00:42:07,397 --> 00:42:09,207
While you're at it,
climb that pole over there and

706
00:42:09,217 --> 00:42:10,361
take a piss on the power lines.

707
00:42:10,371 --> 00:42:14,360
Look, I'm not here to twist your
niblets. I'm here to save your life.

708
00:42:14,370 --> 00:42:19,425
But if I'm gonna do that,
I'll need total "uninanonynymity."

709
00:42:22,946 --> 00:42:24,859
Okay.

710
00:42:24,869 --> 00:42:29,787
- Sound good, candypants?
- Hank, don't call me that.

711
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:44,097
Man, how the hell
can they call Pluto a planet?

712
00:42:44,107 --> 00:42:46,178
What motherfuckin' planet
has an elliptical orbit?

713
00:42:46,188 --> 00:42:48,098
Man, this shit
don't make no sense.

714
00:42:48,108 --> 00:42:53,028
Motherfucker! That motherfucker Vince
Foster was murdered! I told you!

715
00:42:53,038 --> 00:42:56,645
Will you quit hackin' into
them goddamn Pentagon files?

716
00:42:56,655 --> 00:42:59,682
Ain't no nevermind who them
crooked politicians be killin'.

717
00:42:59,692 --> 00:43:00,835
Just do your studyin'.

718
00:43:00,845 --> 00:43:03,159
- Man, what did Daddy tell you
about snoopin', huh?

719
00:43:03,169 --> 00:43:03,907
Shit, yeah, man.

720
00:43:03,917 --> 00:43:06,034
You keep fuckin' around,
you gonna get that scholarship

721
00:43:06,044 --> 00:43:07,139
to Yale taken away from you.

722
00:43:07,149 --> 00:43:10,342
Be stuck up there at Stanford with them
goddamn sling-blade motherfuckers.

723
00:43:10,352 --> 00:43:12,265
[Laughing]

724
00:43:12,275 --> 00:43:14,773
Shit, motherfucker,
you be lucky to get accepted to Duke

725
00:43:14,783 --> 00:43:16,098
gettin' a 1430 on your S.A.T.

726
00:43:16,108 --> 00:43:18,534
- Motherfucker, you know I had the flu.
- The flu, my ass.

727
00:43:18,544 --> 00:43:21,479
You had a motherfuckin' aneurysm
gettin' a 1430.

728
00:43:21,489 --> 00:43:23,623
- Aneurysm?
Man, you talkin' some shit now.

729
00:43:23,633 --> 00:43:24,138
[Knocking]

730
00:43:24,148 --> 00:43:27,495
Now you see, man? That's probably
one of them Ivy League sum bitches now.

731
00:43:27,505 --> 00:43:29,001
- Get your big-ass head up
and get the door, man.

732
00:43:29,011 --> 00:43:29,412
Get the door.

733
00:43:29,422 --> 00:43:30,660
- Don't fuck with my shit.
- Get outta the way.

734
00:43:30,670 --> 00:43:31,342
Gimme some of them chips.

735
00:43:31,352 --> 00:43:33,836
[Laughing]
Hey, Captain.

736
00:43:33,913 --> 00:43:37,422
- Fellas.
- What the fuck is goin' on, man?

737
00:43:37,432 --> 00:43:40,847
- This is Agent Anicelli.
- Gentlemen.

738
00:43:40,914 --> 00:43:43,791
- What's happenin', Captain?
- We've got a problem.

739
00:43:43,801 --> 00:43:46,104
Pack your bags.

740
00:43:51,707 --> 00:43:53,614
- We're locked and loaded.
- Great.

741
00:43:53,624 --> 00:43:57,455
- Got enough stuff
to hold us over for 72 hours.

742
00:43:57,465 --> 00:43:59,465
[Men Laughing]

743
00:44:09,595 --> 00:44:11,927
Well, fuck my ozone.

744
00:44:14,431 --> 00:44:16,666
[Drums]

745
00:44:26,404 --> 00:44:30,394
Nyah, nyah, nyah-nyah-nyah
We're gonna rock you

746
00:44:37,828 --> 00:44:39,828
Hey, ringworm.

747
00:44:42,566 --> 00:44:47,035
Yeah, I'm talkin' to you,
you toxic waste of life.

748
00:44:47,103 --> 00:44:50,297
You gonna pick up that butt, or do I
have to glue it to the end of my shoe...

749
00:44:50,307 --> 00:44:52,378
and stick it in your
big, fat, pimply A-hole?

750
00:44:52,388 --> 00:44:56,379
Hey, man, take it easy.
It's just a cigarette.

751
00:44:56,456 --> 00:45:00,416
Oh, yeah?
Well, this is just a fist.

752
00:45:00,484 --> 00:45:03,746
But when I start throwing it around,
it can leave one hell of a mess.

753
00:45:03,756 --> 00:45:05,761
Let's dance.

754
00:45:22,663 --> 00:45:25,933
Hey, hey!
[Groaning]

755
00:45:26,002 --> 00:45:29,062
Let's kick the shit
outta this crazy asshole.

756
00:45:29,072 --> 00:45:32,199
Wait, wait. Wait!
He's a schizo!

757
00:45:32,265 --> 00:45:34,815
What the hell's wrong
with him?

758
00:45:37,042 --> 00:45:39,181
What happened, anyway?

759
00:45:39,248 --> 00:45:43,746
[Narrator] Yeah, Charlie was taking a
few lumps on account of Hank's behavior.

760
00:45:43,756 --> 00:45:49,791
But, save for a little blood in the
urine, he was no worse for the wear.

761
00:45:50,261 --> 00:45:52,265
I'm sorry you had to meet Hank,
Miss Waters.

762
00:45:52,275 --> 00:45:57,714
I thought I was bad.
That guy has some serious problems.

763
00:45:58,741 --> 00:46:00,741
He did save our lives.

764
00:46:02,903 --> 00:46:05,196
Anyway, Hank had
a pretty good idea.

765
00:46:05,206 --> 00:46:07,181
- He thinks that maybe--
- Oh, and you're gonna listen to Hank?

766
00:46:07,191 --> 00:46:10,184
Come on!Look what he did tome.
I mean, what are you thinkin'?

767
00:46:10,194 --> 00:46:12,744
He's out of control, this guy.

768
00:46:12,793 --> 00:46:15,307
You know what I think
we should do?

769
00:46:15,317 --> 00:46:17,067
I think we should find
another department

770
00:46:17,077 --> 00:46:18,384
and tell them the whole story.

771
00:46:18,394 --> 00:46:23,579
Not smart, Charlie. We don't know
how far Dickie's reach goes.

772
00:46:24,602 --> 00:46:26,674
Well, then, you know what?

773
00:46:26,684 --> 00:46:31,087
I think it's time to call the best damn
law enforcement agency in the country:

774
00:46:31,097 --> 00:46:33,265
the Rhode Island State Troopers!

775
00:46:33,275 --> 00:46:37,494
Do you really think the feds don't have
some guy up there now bugging calls?

776
00:46:37,504 --> 00:46:40,017
They'd be on us
in ten minutes.

777
00:46:40,027 --> 00:46:42,837
And they're the ones that almost
got me killed in the first place.

778
00:46:42,847 --> 00:46:47,154
Okay. What was
the genius's big plan?

779
00:46:47,231 --> 00:46:50,674
He thinks that we should find a cabin
and hide out for a while.

780
00:46:50,684 --> 00:46:53,139
Oh, yeah?
What about water? What about food?

781
00:46:53,149 --> 00:46:56,974
He already got supplies.
They're in the trunk.

782
00:47:05,600 --> 00:47:08,490
- These are the supplies?
- Mm-hmm.

783
00:47:10,848 --> 00:47:14,263
Well, he had a plan, all right.
[Sucking Sounds]

784
00:47:14,273 --> 00:47:17,093
That's it?
That's all he got?

785
00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:19,969
Oh, no, there's more.

786
00:47:20,036 --> 00:47:24,067
A rope, a shovel,

787
00:47:24,134 --> 00:47:26,954
bag of lime
and some lawn darts.

788
00:47:39,530 --> 00:47:41,362
- and the kidnapping
of one Irene P. Waters.

789
00:47:41,372 --> 00:47:42,052
That's bullshit!

790
00:47:42,062 --> 00:47:44,023
My daddy ain't killed nobody,
and he sure as shit ain't

791
00:47:44,033 --> 00:47:45,121
kidnapped no skinny-ass bitch!

792
00:47:45,131 --> 00:47:47,398
Your dad's sick, mentally.
He's had some sort of breakdown.

793
00:47:47,408 --> 00:47:48,421
That's what we understand.

794
00:47:48,431 --> 00:47:51,808
The important thing is we find him, so
nobody else gets hurt, himself included.

795
00:47:51,818 --> 00:47:53,736
Come on, man,
nobody's gonna get hurt.

796
00:47:53,746 --> 00:47:56,163
Hell, yeah. Our daddy wouldn't hurt
a motherfuckin' fly.

797
00:47:56,173 --> 00:47:58,465
No, he goes after bigger game.

798
00:47:58,475 --> 00:48:01,449
We just got a report he put six bullets
into a prize cow's head.

799
00:48:01,459 --> 00:48:04,009
Poor thing's lucky
to be alive.

800
00:48:06,063 --> 00:48:09,285
Okay, look, let's say he does
have a problem-- which he don't.

801
00:48:09,295 --> 00:48:11,305
- He's been taking pills
to get rid of it, anyway.

802
00:48:11,315 --> 00:48:12,585
He left his pills in the hotel.

803
00:48:12,595 --> 00:48:14,504
- Damn.
- That's where he left his sanity.

804
00:48:14,514 --> 00:48:17,736
I've seen it first hand.
The guy's nuttier than squirrel turds.

805
00:48:17,746 --> 00:48:22,503
L-L-Look. One thing
I don't understand, Lieutenant.

806
00:48:22,580 --> 00:48:24,361
If my daddy's
such a scary-ass motherfucker,

807
00:48:24,371 --> 00:48:25,612
why'd you go by yourself, huh?

808
00:48:25,622 --> 00:48:28,026
Yeah, who the fuck are you,
Sergeant York, tryin' to take on

809
00:48:28,036 --> 00:48:29,131
the Germans your damn self?

810
00:48:29,141 --> 00:48:32,296
Your father's a police officer,
and he asked me to come alone.

811
00:48:32,306 --> 00:48:34,063
How was I to know he's a nut case?

812
00:48:34,073 --> 00:48:35,788
- Man, our daddy ain't
no fuckin' nut case.

813
00:48:35,798 --> 00:48:36,364
He may have...

814
00:48:36,374 --> 00:48:39,723
advanced delusionary schizophrenia
with involuntary narcissistic rage,

815
00:48:39,733 --> 00:48:42,283
but he is
a very gentle person!

816
00:48:42,361 --> 00:48:43,831
-[Punk On Radio]
- Motherfuckin' robot

817
00:48:43,841 --> 00:48:44,596
Motherfuckin' robot

818
00:48:44,606 --> 00:48:46,773
[Continues]

819
00:48:46,840 --> 00:48:48,840
[Radio Off]

820
00:48:50,333 --> 00:48:53,708
Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's the fuzz?
Tell me what's a-happening.

821
00:48:53,718 --> 00:48:57,868
Stay away from me, Hank!
I know what you had planned.

822
00:48:57,878 --> 00:49:00,271
I saw your so-called supplies.

823
00:49:00,281 --> 00:49:02,802
Oh, that?

824
00:49:04,443 --> 00:49:07,378
I wasn't gonna just
ram it home, you know.

825
00:49:07,388 --> 00:49:09,594
I was gonna lube it up...

826
00:49:09,661 --> 00:49:13,171
and ease it in there
inch by inch, like a gentleman.

827
00:49:13,181 --> 00:49:16,788
I was talking about
the shovel and the lime.

828
00:49:16,798 --> 00:49:19,140
Shovel and lime?

829
00:49:19,197 --> 00:49:21,988
[Chuckling]

830
00:49:22,046 --> 00:49:24,046
[Laughing]

831
00:49:25,412 --> 00:49:28,155
[Sighs]
Thank you.

832
00:49:28,223 --> 00:49:30,160
- I haven't laughed like that
in a long time.

833
00:49:30,170 --> 00:49:30,869
What's so funny?

834
00:49:30,879 --> 00:49:34,399
- We're drivin' a hot carriage.
- So?

835
00:49:34,466 --> 00:49:36,759
That stuff belongs
to the bad cop.

836
00:49:36,769 --> 00:49:39,196
You think he was gonna take
our dead bodies down to the station?

837
00:49:39,206 --> 00:49:41,988
Oh.

838
00:49:47,686 --> 00:49:50,621
[Narrator] Irene decided
they should go back to Rhode Island,

839
00:49:50,631 --> 00:49:53,316
but Hank had an idea first.

840
00:49:53,384 --> 00:49:56,348
- Are you sure about this?
- Are you kiddin'?

841
00:49:56,358 --> 00:49:59,551
Every oinker east of the Mississippi
will be looking for this sled.

842
00:49:59,561 --> 00:50:03,340
Safer to go mass transit.
Ready? On nine.

843
00:50:03,398 --> 00:50:05,318
One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine.

844
00:50:05,328 --> 00:50:09,222
I can't keep up
with you no more

845
00:50:09,289 --> 00:50:14,046
And you treat me
like it's a sin

846
00:50:14,123 --> 00:50:19,005
For you to let me in

847
00:50:19,139 --> 00:50:22,880
Well, they won't be
tracking us in that car.

848
00:50:22,948 --> 00:50:25,115
- Thanks for the kudos.
- Sure.

849
00:50:25,125 --> 00:50:27,994
- Glad we're finally on the same page.
- Me too.

850
00:50:28,004 --> 00:50:31,170
Whoa! You okay?

851
00:50:31,237 --> 00:50:33,237
Yes, I'm fine.

852
00:50:34,537 --> 00:50:37,596
[Sighs]
Thought you were goin' over the edge.

853
00:50:37,606 --> 00:50:39,606
Thank you.

854
00:50:43,236 --> 00:50:46,596
- You know, I think you're
a very special unit.

855
00:50:46,606 --> 00:50:47,553
That's sweet.

856
00:50:47,563 --> 00:50:49,951
I hope we can get
to know each other better.

857
00:50:49,961 --> 00:50:52,387
Yeah, me too.

858
00:50:52,454 --> 00:50:54,469
Do you swallow?

859
00:50:58,153 --> 00:51:01,223
I get it.
We'll go slow.

860
00:51:06,057 --> 00:51:08,484
- Hey!
- Yes?

861
00:51:09,904 --> 00:51:13,635
You didn't happen to pick up
a wallet on the dash, did ya?

862
00:51:13,645 --> 00:51:15,716
You're kidding, right?

863
00:51:16,906 --> 00:51:18,825
[Exhales]

864
00:51:18,835 --> 00:51:21,414
So, what's your tale, Mother Goose?
Where you from?

865
00:51:21,424 --> 00:51:23,424
Oh, all over.

866
00:51:23,439 --> 00:51:26,537
Omnipresence--
I like that in a woman.

867
00:51:26,547 --> 00:51:29,799
I'm originally from Texas.
Middle-class neighborhood.

868
00:51:29,809 --> 00:51:32,197
But after high school, I moved
to New York, 'cause I had this thing--

869
00:51:32,207 --> 00:51:35,112
Let me guess. Everybody in town
told you you were easy on the eyes,

870
00:51:35,122 --> 00:51:36,878
so you decided
to become a supermodel.

871
00:51:36,888 --> 00:51:39,400
When you got to the Big Apple,
they treated you like the worm.

872
00:51:39,410 --> 00:51:41,895
So you packed on a few pounds
and started calling yourself an actress.

873
00:51:41,905 --> 00:51:43,905
- Uh, no.
- Shh!

874
00:51:43,958 --> 00:51:46,192
Unfortunately,
you can't get far without talent,

875
00:51:46,202 --> 00:51:48,112
and after a while the only bright lights
you saw were the ones...

876
00:51:48,122 --> 00:51:50,508
that hit you in the face
when you opened the fridge.

877
00:51:50,518 --> 00:51:52,946
That's when you got a boob job, started
hanging around on the Upper East Side,

878
00:51:52,956 --> 00:51:54,537
looking for a rich, old man
with a bum ticker...

879
00:51:54,547 --> 00:51:59,055
and waved a white flag
in the face of your own self-loathing.

880
00:51:59,065 --> 00:52:01,521
How's my aim?

881
00:52:01,588 --> 00:52:04,878
I never went to New York City.
I went upstate to Cornell.

882
00:52:04,888 --> 00:52:07,602
And then I got my master's
in turf management at U-Mass.

883
00:52:07,612 --> 00:52:09,934
And then I became
a golf course superintendent.

884
00:52:09,944 --> 00:52:13,233
And these, believe it or not,
are all mine.

885
00:52:13,243 --> 00:52:16,208
I noticed you conveniently
left out your eating disorder.

886
00:52:16,218 --> 00:52:21,233
- I don't have an eating disorder.
- Whatever you say, slim.

887
00:52:23,709 --> 00:52:26,040
- Whoa!
- Hands off, Hank.

888
00:52:28,448 --> 00:52:30,448
[Calliope]

889
00:52:34,367 --> 00:52:37,436
- Hey! Mom!
- [Growling]

890
00:52:37,503 --> 00:52:41,588
That's real nice, Hank.
Way to keep a low profile.

891
00:52:41,598 --> 00:52:43,978
It's survival at this point.

892
00:52:45,187 --> 00:52:50,012
Hey, I know how to score
some dough. Punch me.

893
00:52:50,089 --> 00:52:52,572
- What?
- Punch me in the face.

894
00:52:52,582 --> 00:52:54,491
- Why?
- I'll flag the big cheese,

895
00:52:54,501 --> 00:52:56,409
tell him I got rolled
in the parking lot.

896
00:52:56,419 --> 00:52:58,328
He'll hush me up
with a couple of Benjamins.

897
00:52:58,338 --> 00:53:00,654
They don't need that kind
of ink on Sugar Mountain.

898
00:53:00,664 --> 00:53:01,821
Come on, rip my head off.

899
00:53:01,831 --> 00:53:04,383
That's really lame, Hank.

900
00:53:04,460 --> 00:53:06,396
Well, you have a better idea?
Come on.

901
00:53:06,406 --> 00:53:08,737
- It's not gonna work.
- Yes, it is gonna work,

902
00:53:08,747 --> 00:53:09,859
but you gotta rock me.

903
00:53:09,869 --> 00:53:12,713
Don't give me one of those girly
"I don't wanna break a fingernail"

904
00:53:12,723 --> 00:53:13,149
love taps.

905
00:53:13,159 --> 00:53:15,230
This guy's gotta look
at my face and just--

906
00:53:15,240 --> 00:53:18,061
[Grunting, Yelling]

907
00:53:20,141 --> 00:53:24,161
[Narrator] Well, the kick in the chops
didn't work out as planned,

908
00:53:24,171 --> 00:53:27,423
and it just left Charlie
a little more roughed up.

909
00:53:27,433 --> 00:53:29,792
- How's the nose feelin'?
- Listen to it.

910
00:53:29,802 --> 00:53:32,363
[Nose Whistling]

911
00:53:32,430 --> 00:53:36,392
- I'm really sorry, Charlie.
- I'll get over it.

912
00:53:36,402 --> 00:53:40,997
I mean, you should be furious. I just
drop-kicked you right in the face.

913
00:53:41,007 --> 00:53:44,065
- Hey, it happens.
- [Nose Whistling Continues]

914
00:53:44,075 --> 00:53:46,237
- [Grunts]
- You got a great way

915
00:53:46,247 --> 00:53:48,201
of looking at life, Charlie.

916
00:53:48,211 --> 00:53:50,591
You know that?
That's a gift.

917
00:53:50,637 --> 00:53:53,093
Yeah, I don't know
if my shrinks would agree.

918
00:53:53,103 --> 00:53:55,020
- They think that's my problem.
- What?

919
00:53:55,030 --> 00:53:59,366
Oh, that I purposely distort
my perceptions...

920
00:53:59,443 --> 00:54:02,924
- to make my reality more palatable.
- [Nose Whistling]

921
00:54:02,934 --> 00:54:05,418
Oh, like you only hear
what you wanna hear?

922
00:54:05,428 --> 00:54:10,868
Thanks. I like to keep it short,
especially in the summer.

923
00:54:13,372 --> 00:54:20,002
How come I couldn't have ended up with
an easygoing guy like you, Charlie, huh?

924
00:54:29,823 --> 00:54:32,144
It's like you don't
give a damn, you know?

925
00:54:32,154 --> 00:54:35,444
And your skin's so natural. You just
let it hang out, blemishes and all.

926
00:54:35,454 --> 00:54:37,841
You're not afraid of your flaws.
You have squinty eyes,

927
00:54:37,851 --> 00:54:40,470
and your face is all pursed up
like you just sucked on a lemon,

928
00:54:40,480 --> 00:54:42,480
but you pull it off.

929
00:54:45,055 --> 00:54:47,223
[Train Whistle Blowing]

930
00:54:50,878 --> 00:54:53,429
You thinking
what I'm thinking?

931
00:54:53,507 --> 00:54:55,702
[Irene]
Oh, no.

932
00:54:55,779 --> 00:54:57,785
Oh, yeah.

933
00:54:57,852 --> 00:55:01,689
- [Cracking]
- [Groaning] Come on.

934
00:55:03,587 --> 00:55:06,264
- But I don't know if I can!
- Yes, you can!

935
00:55:06,274 --> 00:55:09,142
Humans only use ten percent
of their potential.

936
00:55:09,152 --> 00:55:12,087
You gotta reach down
for that little extra something.

937
00:55:12,097 --> 00:55:15,676
- [Panting, Nose Whistling]
- [Panting]

938
00:55:15,752 --> 00:55:18,727
There you go!
Now you're gettin' it!

939
00:55:18,793 --> 00:55:21,536
I believe in you!

940
00:55:22,889 --> 00:55:25,698
Don't you give up on me now!

941
00:55:30,629 --> 00:55:33,439
It's easier than I thought!
Come on!

942
00:55:33,449 --> 00:55:35,521
Go, Charlie, go!

943
00:55:35,588 --> 00:55:38,592
You can do it!
Come on, Charlie!

944
00:55:38,669 --> 00:55:41,796
Use more
of your potential!

945
00:55:41,863 --> 00:55:43,863
[Grunting]

946
00:55:47,724 --> 00:55:50,055
Come on, Charlie!
Go!

947
00:55:50,122 --> 00:55:54,053
- Come on, jump off! Jump off!
- What?

948
00:55:54,121 --> 00:55:56,137
What?

949
00:55:56,204 --> 00:55:59,177
Jump off the train!

950
00:55:59,245 --> 00:56:01,768
Oh.

951
00:56:01,835 --> 00:56:03,835
[Screams]

952
00:56:05,133 --> 00:56:05,450
- [Nose Whistling]
- Ow.

953
00:56:05,460 --> 00:56:07,532
- [Nose Whistling]
- Ow.

954
00:56:07,599 --> 00:56:09,513
Irene?

955
00:56:09,523 --> 00:56:13,162
- [Gasping]
- Come on, stop foolin' around.

956
00:56:13,230 --> 00:56:16,741
[Sighing, Panting]
I started thinking about it. Bad idea.

957
00:56:16,751 --> 00:56:19,868
Trains are the first place
they'll look.

958
00:56:19,878 --> 00:56:22,458
Oh, come on.

959
00:56:22,535 --> 00:56:25,241
Hey, we checked all the major gas and
food stops along the interstate.

960
00:56:25,251 --> 00:56:27,167
- No sign of him.
- [Scoffs] The interstate?

961
00:56:27,177 --> 00:56:29,307
Let me ask you something, man.
Is your old lady happy?

962
00:56:29,317 --> 00:56:32,166
My "old lady"?

963
00:56:32,233 --> 00:56:34,525
Yeah, man, because if your fucking
is anything like your police work,

964
00:56:34,535 --> 00:56:36,828
you couldn't hit the G-spot
on a 12-pound pussy.

965
00:56:36,838 --> 00:56:39,429
- [Laughing]
- Watch yourself.

966
00:56:40,618 --> 00:56:42,687
- What are you getting at?
- Look, man.

967
00:56:42,697 --> 00:56:44,607
A: Daddy ain't
gonna take no road...

968
00:56:44,617 --> 00:56:47,168
where y'all blind-ass,
Helly Kelly cops is looking.

969
00:56:47,178 --> 00:56:50,833
And B: Motherfucker,
he don't eat fast food.

970
00:56:52,301 --> 00:56:54,209
[Irene]Okay, I have three
dollars and a nickel.

971
00:56:54,219 --> 00:56:56,127
- How much do you have?
- Uh, six bucks.

972
00:56:56,137 --> 00:56:58,327
-Just let me go up and order
so we can get out of here.

973
00:56:58,337 --> 00:56:58,535
Okay.

974
00:56:58,545 --> 00:57:01,768
I'll have the chicken breast sandwich,
no skin, dry toast.

975
00:57:01,778 --> 00:57:05,519
[Slurping]

976
00:57:05,586 --> 00:57:08,810
You make me dizzy
running circles in my head

977
00:57:08,820 --> 00:57:10,853
One of these days

978
00:57:10,930 --> 00:57:14,795
I'll chase you down

979
00:57:16,685 --> 00:57:18,685
Look who's goin' crazy

980
00:57:18,738 --> 00:57:21,356
Now we're face to face
my friend

981
00:57:21,366 --> 00:57:26,094
Better get out
better get out

982
00:57:26,162 --> 00:57:28,167
What are you
staring at, fucker?

983
00:57:28,177 --> 00:57:30,565
[Continues, Indistinct]

984
00:57:30,642 --> 00:57:33,807
You want to start me up?Just open
the choke and pull the cord, pal.

985
00:57:33,817 --> 00:57:37,193
I'm due for a seismic event,
and you're dancing on the fault line.

986
00:57:37,203 --> 00:57:39,111
Hey, what is
your problem, pal?

987
00:57:39,121 --> 00:57:41,836
I got no beef with you.
This is between me and the kid.

988
00:57:41,846 --> 00:57:44,944
- Hey, stop it!
- He started it.

989
00:57:45,012 --> 00:57:47,083
I'm so sorry.
I have to apologize for him.

990
00:57:47,093 --> 00:57:49,587
- He suffers from this thing--
- I'm right here, four-eyes. Let's go.

991
00:57:49,597 --> 00:57:52,878
Oh, poor baby. He has to let his daddy
fight his battles for him.

992
00:57:52,888 --> 00:57:55,707
- [Clucking]
- He's an ass.

993
00:57:57,751 --> 00:58:01,051
[Continues Clucking]

994
00:58:02,815 --> 00:58:04,821
Pussy.

995
00:58:08,897 --> 00:58:10,806
How's it hangin', fellas?

996
00:58:10,816 --> 00:58:12,816
Hank, I presume?

997
00:58:14,749 --> 00:58:16,964
- Did you miss me?
- Why don't you just send

998
00:58:16,974 --> 00:58:18,106
Charlie back out here?

999
00:58:18,116 --> 00:58:21,462
-Things were finally becoming civilized.
-Listen, Pocahontas,

1000
00:58:21,472 --> 00:58:24,082
unless you put your ear to the ground,
you'll never hear the buffalo coming.

1001
00:58:24,092 --> 00:58:26,260
Look, I don't know
what that means, okay?

1002
00:58:26,270 --> 00:58:28,503
It means either he's gotta
make up a battle plan,

1003
00:58:28,513 --> 00:58:32,677
or old Hank's gonna have to
take over Fort Charlie for good.

1004
00:58:32,687 --> 00:58:35,400
Did you just refer to yourself
in the fourth person?

1005
00:58:35,410 --> 00:58:38,946
- Holy Jesus in heaven!
It's a giant Q-Tip.

1006
00:58:38,956 --> 00:58:39,430
Hank.

1007
00:58:39,440 --> 00:58:41,454
What?
I'm joking with the guy.

1008
00:58:41,464 --> 00:58:45,455
Bringing a little sunshine
into his life. Careful, you'll peel.

1009
00:58:45,465 --> 00:58:47,537
Do-Do you need
to see a menu?

1010
00:58:47,547 --> 00:58:50,031
No, thank you.
We've ordered.

1011
00:58:55,699 --> 00:58:58,319
- That's it.
- Hey, hey, hey.

1012
00:58:58,395 --> 00:59:00,586
- Hold on there, cheese tits.
Did I miss something?

1013
00:59:00,596 --> 00:59:01,645
Don't give me that shit!

1014
00:59:01,655 --> 00:59:04,812
What you just did
to that kid was terrible.

1015
00:59:04,822 --> 00:59:07,797
Didn't you see
the look on his face?

1016
00:59:09,466 --> 00:59:12,186
Looked a little pale,
that's all.

1017
00:59:12,284 --> 00:59:14,704
He was hurt and offended.

1018
00:59:14,780 --> 00:59:17,973
Well, I disagree.
But why speculate?

1019
00:59:18,040 --> 00:59:20,017
- Hey, milky, vamonos.
- Hey, no! No, no, no.

1020
00:59:20,027 --> 00:59:21,658
- Hank, no.
- Come on, Brer Rabbit.

1021
00:59:21,668 --> 00:59:22,865
Hop down the bunny trail.

1022
00:59:22,875 --> 00:59:25,694
Come on.
Epa, epa, andale.

1023
00:59:25,761 --> 00:59:27,676
Listen, uh,

1024
00:59:27,686 --> 00:59:30,837
were you offended in any way
by our social interaction here?

1025
00:59:30,847 --> 00:59:33,121
Y-Yeah.
Actually, I was.

1026
00:59:35,173 --> 00:59:37,110
What was it,
the Q-Tip thing?

1027
00:59:37,120 --> 00:59:42,204
Actually, I was pretty much offended
by everything that you said, sir.

1028
00:59:42,214 --> 00:59:44,410
Oh.

1029
00:59:46,818 --> 00:59:49,119
Sorry.

1030
00:59:52,736 --> 00:59:55,585
I'm truly sorry.

1031
01:00:01,092 --> 01:00:03,092
[Door Closes]

1032
01:00:06,214 --> 01:00:10,560
[Folk]

1033
01:00:15,750 --> 01:00:17,750
You okay?

1034
01:00:19,145 --> 01:00:22,080
You don't know what it's like,

1035
01:00:22,157 --> 01:00:25,831
spendin' all those years
trapped behind a wall of politeness--

1036
01:00:25,841 --> 01:00:28,324
bound and gagged.

1037
01:00:28,392 --> 01:00:33,237
A dark and silent world
where nothing grows but the anger.

1038
01:00:34,954 --> 01:00:36,872
All because some doll-faced demon
he married...

1039
01:00:36,882 --> 01:00:39,365
I aced up her boots and did
a Nancy Sinatra on him.

1040
01:00:39,375 --> 01:00:41,860
Charlie had a wife?

1041
01:00:41,936 --> 01:00:45,449
[Scoffs]
And then some.

1042
01:00:45,525 --> 01:00:48,871
I was a big piece
of the personality pie back then.

1043
01:00:48,881 --> 01:00:51,884
But when she left him,
Charlie went numb...

1044
01:00:51,894 --> 01:00:53,808
and I went AWOL.

1045
01:00:53,818 --> 01:00:57,294
Well,

1046
01:00:57,361 --> 01:01:00,872
if you were such a big part
of the personality,

1047
01:01:00,882 --> 01:01:03,089
then she left you too.

1048
01:01:10,130 --> 01:01:12,920
[Sobbing]
It's true.

1049
01:01:12,978 --> 01:01:16,758
[Sniffling, Wheezing]

1050
01:01:16,826 --> 01:01:18,993
She left us.

1051
01:01:20,988 --> 01:01:23,319
- I loved her.
- Oh.

1052
01:01:23,386 --> 01:01:27,213
[Sniffling, Wheezing]
Why did she do this?

1053
01:01:27,290 --> 01:01:31,637
I'm not a bad person.

1054
01:01:31,703 --> 01:01:34,743
I'm not a bad person.

1055
01:01:34,810 --> 01:01:37,141
No, no.
You're not a bad guy.

1056
01:01:37,151 --> 01:01:39,320
No, you're not.

1057
01:01:39,387 --> 01:01:41,333
Do you hear me, huh?

1058
01:01:41,343 --> 01:01:43,991
[Sniffling, Wheezing]

1059
01:01:45,305 --> 01:01:48,662
You're a good person.

1060
01:01:51,070 --> 01:01:53,238
You really think so?

1061
01:01:54,275 --> 01:01:56,605
Yeah, I'm starting to.

1062
01:02:05,345 --> 01:02:08,549
- You know what I'm gonna do?
- Hmm?

1063
01:02:08,616 --> 01:02:11,263
I'm gonna
make it up to Charlie.

1064
01:02:11,330 --> 01:02:15,963
And I'm gonna make it up to that
sweet little circus geek in there.

1065
01:02:15,973 --> 01:02:17,885
Um--

1066
01:02:17,895 --> 01:02:21,345
Um, Hank? Hank.

1067
01:02:21,413 --> 01:02:23,800
Agent Boshane.
Just got lucky.

1068
01:02:23,810 --> 01:02:26,362
They were spotted leaving a health food
restaurant 100 miles southeast of here.

1069
01:02:26,372 --> 01:02:29,857
- Fifteen minutes, tops.
- Got it, got it.

1070
01:02:35,341 --> 01:02:38,305
They got 150 cordoned off?

1071
01:02:38,382 --> 01:02:40,382
Let's fly.

1072
01:02:46,056 --> 01:02:50,285
I hear you are singing
a song of the past

1073
01:02:51,312 --> 01:02:53,316
I see no tears

1074
01:02:53,393 --> 01:02:56,453
- [Coughing]
-[Continues, Indistinct]

1075
01:02:58,410 --> 01:03:01,383
Can you please tell him
to stop this?

1076
01:03:01,393 --> 01:03:03,393
Charlie, is that you?

1077
01:03:07,764 --> 01:03:10,699
Hey, my nose.

1078
01:03:10,766 --> 01:03:12,684
My nose is fixed.

1079
01:03:12,694 --> 01:03:15,025
- [Chuckling]
- Well.

1080
01:03:15,092 --> 01:03:17,005
Isn't that great?

1081
01:03:17,015 --> 01:03:18,924
How did that happen?

1082
01:03:18,934 --> 01:03:21,107
Well, um,

1083
01:03:21,175 --> 01:03:23,082
Hank wanted to do
something nice foryou...

1084
01:03:23,092 --> 01:03:25,576
so he insisted
that we, well,

1085
01:03:25,654 --> 01:03:27,561
[Mumbling]
go to a plastic surgeon.

1086
01:03:27,571 --> 01:03:29,480
What did you say?
Plastic sur--

1087
01:03:29,490 --> 01:03:31,408
- Did you say plastic surgeon?
- Mm-hmm.

1088
01:03:31,418 --> 01:03:34,602
Oh, my God. Wh-What--
Ow! What is this?

1089
01:03:34,612 --> 01:03:36,521
What is this?
What did-- Wh-- Was--

1090
01:03:36,531 --> 01:03:38,449
Uh, what is this?

1091
01:03:38,459 --> 01:03:42,507
Hank thought that you kind of
had a weak chin, so--

1092
01:03:42,517 --> 01:03:45,749
What?

1093
01:03:45,816 --> 01:03:48,244
I like my chin.
I-I-I have a--

1094
01:03:48,254 --> 01:03:50,167
I like my chin.

1095
01:03:50,177 --> 01:03:55,093
It's my chin! It's my chin!
Mine! How did you pay for it?

1096
01:03:55,160 --> 01:03:57,654
- I loaned him the money.
- [Yells]

1097
01:03:57,664 --> 01:04:00,407
Who the hell are you?

1098
01:04:00,474 --> 01:04:03,294
It's me, Milky.

1099
01:04:08,474 --> 01:04:11,121
Who the hell is Milky,
and what is he doing here?

1100
01:04:11,131 --> 01:04:14,815
Uh, Irene has
a lot of people...

1101
01:04:14,882 --> 01:04:17,270
who would like to see her
in an unmarked grave.

1102
01:04:17,280 --> 01:04:19,736
And I don't think it's safe for you
to be hanging around with this.

1103
01:04:19,746 --> 01:04:24,216
Why not? You, Irene and Hank
are my only friends.

1104
01:04:24,293 --> 01:04:27,093
But what about your family?
Aren't they gonna miss you?

1105
01:04:27,103 --> 01:04:29,213
My family's all--

1106
01:04:29,280 --> 01:04:32,321
[Sighs]
They're gone.

1107
01:04:32,388 --> 01:04:34,388
Oh, geez.

1108
01:04:42,278 --> 01:04:45,118
If we're taking you with us,
we can't be calling you "Milky."

1109
01:04:45,128 --> 01:04:47,795
- What's your real name?
- Casper,

1110
01:04:47,805 --> 01:04:50,393
but my friends call me "Whitey."

1111
01:04:50,403 --> 01:04:52,648
Okay.

1112
01:04:56,524 --> 01:05:01,127
I can't find
the time to tell you

1113
01:05:06,030 --> 01:05:10,278
I can't find
the time to tell you

1114
01:05:10,346 --> 01:05:12,457
Whoa.

1115
01:05:12,524 --> 01:05:15,075
So many things to say

1116
01:05:15,152 --> 01:05:18,376
I could fit them in a book

1117
01:05:18,444 --> 01:05:20,686
Of a thousand pages

1118
01:05:22,155 --> 01:05:24,155
[Continues, Indistinct]

1119
01:05:29,809 --> 01:05:31,938
Here you go, Mr. Murphy.
I got your car all filled up.

1120
01:05:31,948 --> 01:05:34,635
Thank you, Joseph.

1121
01:05:34,702 --> 01:05:38,931
- [Trickling]
- Oh, yeah. [Exhales]

1122
01:05:40,688 --> 01:05:44,102
Get your cock out of my Chrysler,
you son of a bitch!

1123
01:05:44,112 --> 01:05:46,606
What are you doing to my car?

1124
01:05:46,673 --> 01:05:50,423
I'm gonna kill you!
I'm gonna get you!

1125
01:05:56,123 --> 01:05:59,091
I can't find
the time to tell you

1126
01:05:59,101 --> 01:06:01,821
I can't find
the time to tell you

1127
01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:06,137
I look at your pretty face

1128
01:06:06,204 --> 01:06:08,620
And I fall in love with you

1129
01:06:08,697 --> 01:06:11,067
Every time I see you

1130
01:06:11,134 --> 01:06:13,134
[Continues, Indistinct]

1131
01:06:29,821 --> 01:06:32,456
What's that on your shirt?
Whoa.

1132
01:06:34,367 --> 01:06:36,367
I'm sorry.

1133
01:06:37,408 --> 01:06:39,577
That was good.

1134
01:06:39,644 --> 01:06:42,042
Charlie,
what the hell is that?

1135
01:06:42,052 --> 01:06:44,727
Oh, yeah.
I'm gonna fall for that.

1136
01:06:44,737 --> 01:06:48,315
- No, Ch-Charlie.
- Uh-uh, not me.

1137
01:06:48,382 --> 01:06:50,301
- No--
- Nice try, though.

1138
01:06:50,311 --> 01:06:52,641
How dumb do I look?

1139
01:06:56,545 --> 01:06:58,886
[Grunting]

1140
01:07:12,229 --> 01:07:15,260
Hey, they only had
two rooms, 19 and 20.

1141
01:07:15,270 --> 01:07:17,990
So you guys will
have to bunk up.

1142
01:07:29,679 --> 01:07:31,846
So, Whitey.

1143
01:07:32,873 --> 01:07:34,791
What happened
to your family?

1144
01:07:34,801 --> 01:07:36,715
I killed them.

1145
01:07:36,725 --> 01:07:39,683
Uh-Uh, come again?

1146
01:07:39,759 --> 01:07:44,230
When I was 15, I hacked them up
with a hammer while they were sleeping--

1147
01:07:44,240 --> 01:07:48,010
Ma, Dad, my bro and my sis.

1148
01:07:50,253 --> 01:07:53,707
She was awake, my sis,

1149
01:07:53,774 --> 01:07:56,432
which I regret.

1150
01:07:57,775 --> 01:08:00,595
Yeah, well.

1151
01:08:00,662 --> 01:08:05,391
We all have family stuff.

1152
01:08:05,459 --> 01:08:08,757
That's what makes
the holidays so hard.

1153
01:08:08,816 --> 01:08:13,066
I just got released last month
on my 21st birthday.

1154
01:08:13,718 --> 01:08:16,011
To tell you the truth,
I really wasn't ready to leave,

1155
01:08:16,021 --> 01:08:19,319
but they said I had to.

1156
01:08:21,143 --> 01:08:23,523
That's a fucked-up law, huh?

1157
01:08:25,143 --> 01:08:28,010
Well, I guess they need
the extra room...

1158
01:08:28,020 --> 01:08:30,361
for the real psychos.

1159
01:08:30,428 --> 01:08:33,132
I'm gonna go next door and try
to make out with what's her face.

1160
01:08:33,142 --> 01:08:35,119
- Go for it.
- All right.

1161
01:08:35,129 --> 01:08:37,498
- What?
- Yeah.

1162
01:08:37,565 --> 01:08:40,174
He just told me that
he brutally murdered...

1163
01:08:40,184 --> 01:08:42,639
his entire family
in their sleep.

1164
01:08:42,649 --> 01:08:45,337
- Oh, my God.
- He was a juvenile.

1165
01:08:45,347 --> 01:08:47,347
They just let him out.

1166
01:08:47,675 --> 01:08:52,020
So, I was gonna ask you...

1167
01:08:52,097 --> 01:08:55,446
if I could stay here,

1168
01:08:55,523 --> 01:08:58,746
but I can sleep in the car.

1169
01:09:02,851 --> 01:09:04,760
That's me and my whipper snappers.

1170
01:09:04,770 --> 01:09:07,359
- I'm Dorothy.
- [Laughing]

1171
01:09:07,426 --> 01:09:10,140
Look at you.

1172
01:09:10,207 --> 01:09:13,662
When did you take this,
at Halloween?

1173
01:09:13,729 --> 01:09:16,449
No,just messing
around the house.

1174
01:09:20,454 --> 01:09:23,854
You seem like a really
good dad, Charlie.

1175
01:09:26,535 --> 01:09:29,153
I try to be.

1176
01:09:29,220 --> 01:09:32,837
They're incredible kids.
Oh, God.

1177
01:09:32,904 --> 01:09:35,139
So happy and funny.

1178
01:09:35,206 --> 01:09:37,989
They never give me any grief.

1179
01:09:38,056 --> 01:09:41,059
They're the top three students
in their class, out of 211.

1180
01:09:41,069 --> 01:09:43,485
- Golly.
- I don't know where they get it from.

1181
01:09:43,495 --> 01:09:45,960
Well, that's just good genes.

1182
01:09:48,876 --> 01:09:50,909
You know, I don't think I--

1183
01:09:50,919 --> 01:09:54,429
No, I don't think I Carry
even one picture anymore.

1184
01:09:54,439 --> 01:09:56,617
- Why not?
- I don't know.

1185
01:09:56,684 --> 01:09:59,744
I used to, you know,
when I was younger.

1186
01:09:59,754 --> 01:10:02,305
Pictures of friends
and stuff like that.

1187
01:10:02,315 --> 01:10:05,768
I guess they just
got old and fell apart.

1188
01:10:07,438 --> 01:10:10,344
Kind of like the friend ships.

1189
01:10:11,439 --> 01:10:13,439
That's too bad.

1190
01:10:15,341 --> 01:10:18,958
[Chuckling]
Look at you.

1191
01:10:19,025 --> 01:10:21,702
I'll tell you what.
Why don't you keep that one?

1192
01:10:21,712 --> 01:10:23,917
- No, Charlie, that's yours.
- Are you kidding?

1193
01:10:23,927 --> 01:10:25,836
- I have tons of them at home.
- No.

1194
01:10:25,846 --> 01:10:27,753
- No, I got a bunch. Come on.
- You do?

1195
01:10:27,763 --> 01:10:29,678
Yeah.

1196
01:10:29,688 --> 01:10:33,135
Okay. Thanks.

1197
01:10:33,202 --> 01:10:36,656
You-- Thanks.

1198
01:10:50,749 --> 01:10:52,749
I'm dry.

1199
01:10:55,382 --> 01:10:58,355
You know,
I'm gonna go get a soda.

1200
01:10:58,422 --> 01:11:00,340
- Do you want a soda?
- Sure. Okay.

1201
01:11:00,350 --> 01:11:03,458
- Okay?
- Okay.

1202
01:11:09,061 --> 01:11:11,573
- [Banging]
- [Scoffs]

1203
01:11:20,581 --> 01:11:22,494
[Laughing]

1204
01:11:22,504 --> 01:11:25,750
I caught that, bozo.
Not once, but twice it burned you.

1205
01:11:25,760 --> 01:11:28,380
[Laughing]

1206
01:11:30,241 --> 01:11:35,766
Give it another kick. I don't think
you're gonna get it this time.

1207
01:11:38,884 --> 01:11:42,337
- I think I just had an epiphany.
- What?

1208
01:11:42,404 --> 01:11:45,694
That I might be able to control
this little problem of mine.

1209
01:11:45,704 --> 01:11:47,939
Oh, how did you learn that?

1210
01:11:47,949 --> 01:11:50,433
Well, first the Coke machine
robbed me, right?

1211
01:11:50,443 --> 01:11:54,692
And I'm fine with that. But then,
some guy came up and laughed in my face.

1212
01:11:54,702 --> 01:11:58,336
- Oh, no.
- No, no. But that's just it, see?

1213
01:11:58,346 --> 01:12:01,379
Just when I was starting to feel
those old familiar feelings,

1214
01:12:01,389 --> 01:12:04,524
I just took a deep breath,
counted backwards from ten

1215
01:12:04,534 --> 01:12:05,857
and I said to the guy,

1216
01:12:05,867 --> 01:12:09,540
"Excuse me, sir, but your laughter is
not helping me right now."

1217
01:12:09,550 --> 01:12:12,418
And he said, "I'm sorry,
I didn't mean to make fun."

1218
01:12:12,428 --> 01:12:15,239
And that was it.
I helped him with his luggage.

1219
01:12:15,249 --> 01:12:18,309
- Really? Well, that's great.
- Yes.

1220
01:12:18,386 --> 01:12:20,582
- [Sighs]
- And you got the Cokes.

1221
01:12:20,592 --> 01:12:25,637
Hey. Just a little rap on the side
of the machine and presto.

1222
01:12:25,647 --> 01:12:28,367
Maybe that's it though,
you know?

1223
01:12:29,072 --> 01:12:31,047
Look what I found in my bag.

1224
01:12:31,057 --> 01:12:34,060
Oh, no. Oh, boy.

1225
01:12:34,127 --> 01:12:36,305
What do you think?
Do you?

1226
01:12:36,372 --> 01:12:38,185
Well, under the right circumstances,
sure, I could tip a few. Okay.

1227
01:12:38,195 --> 01:12:41,226
Well, under the right circumstances,
sure, I could tip a few. Okay.

1228
01:12:41,236 --> 01:12:43,566
- And these are the right circumstances.
- Okay.

1229
01:12:43,576 --> 01:12:46,223
- All right.
- Here we go.

1230
01:12:46,290 --> 01:12:49,321
- Celebrate good times, come on
- Oh, well.

1231
01:12:49,331 --> 01:12:51,331
Oh, that must be mine.

1232
01:13:07,259 --> 01:13:09,259
[Groaning]

1233
01:13:21,178 --> 01:13:23,178
Ow.

1234
01:13:41,600 --> 01:13:43,514
Oh, geez.

1235
01:13:43,524 --> 01:13:45,439
Oh, God.

1236
01:13:45,449 --> 01:13:47,449
Oh, my God!

1237
01:14:02,378 --> 01:14:04,413
Irene.

1238
01:14:04,489 --> 01:14:06,628
Hmm?

1239
01:14:06,695 --> 01:14:07,481
Why am I peeing like I was
up all night having sex?

1240
01:14:07,491 --> 01:14:10,781
Why am I peeing like I was
up all night having sex?

1241
01:14:10,791 --> 01:14:13,438
[Narrator] Well, seems old Hank
had pulled a fast one.

1242
01:14:13,448 --> 01:14:15,683
And if that
wasn't bad enough,

1243
01:14:15,693 --> 01:14:19,603
there was more trouble
right around the corner.

1244
01:14:21,929 --> 01:14:24,671
I want everybody to stay put
and wait for my orders.

1245
01:14:24,681 --> 01:14:27,011
You mean to tell me you couldn't tell
the difference between us?

1246
01:14:27,021 --> 01:14:29,228
Are you serious?

1247
01:14:29,296 --> 01:14:31,530
Who the hell could?

1248
01:14:31,598 --> 01:14:33,737
A sober person, for one.

1249
01:14:33,805 --> 01:14:36,557
So we had some drinks.

1250
01:14:43,377 --> 01:14:46,097
Well, look who joined the party.

1251
01:14:47,598 --> 01:14:49,517
Did you have fun?

1252
01:14:49,527 --> 01:14:52,040
Oh, yes I did!
Oh, yes I did!

1253
01:14:52,116 --> 01:14:56,422
So I guess old Hanky-panky
wasn't enough for you, huh?

1254
01:14:56,432 --> 01:14:59,531
It wasn't for me.

1255
01:15:00,758 --> 01:15:02,758
[Sobbing]

1256
01:15:02,802 --> 01:15:05,390
- Now, you're sure this is the woman?
- Absolutely.

1257
01:15:05,400 --> 01:15:07,310
When my boyfriend Scooter
brought in the morning paper,

1258
01:15:07,320 --> 01:15:09,700
I recognized her right away.

1259
01:15:11,637 --> 01:15:13,911
Thanks a lot.
Scooter.

1260
01:15:20,922 --> 01:15:22,990
Hey, look, Starsky and Hutch.
Look, man, how about this, man?

1261
01:15:23,000 --> 01:15:23,790
This is the plan, look.

1262
01:15:23,800 --> 01:15:26,515
Why don't you let us talk to our dad so
this ain't gotta be no big thing, man?

1263
01:15:26,525 --> 01:15:29,230
Thanks, fellas, but this is
the end of the line for you.

1264
01:15:29,240 --> 01:15:31,570
Now, officer Stubie's gonna
drive you back to the chopper.

1265
01:15:31,580 --> 01:15:34,831
What? You brung us all the way
down here for us to leave now?

1266
01:15:34,841 --> 01:15:36,980
Man, yeah. That don't make
no motherfuckin' sense.

1267
01:15:36,990 --> 01:15:39,157
Well, you guys have
done all you can do.

1268
01:15:39,167 --> 01:15:41,334
This is strictly a police
matter from here on in.

1269
01:15:41,344 --> 01:15:43,475
Wait.
It maybe a police matter to you,

1270
01:15:43,485 --> 01:15:46,735
but the police don't matter shit
to me when it's my daddy in there.

1271
01:15:46,745 --> 01:15:48,759
I said you're getting
the hell out of here.

1272
01:15:48,769 --> 01:15:50,769
That's the end of it.

1273
01:15:52,539 --> 01:15:54,458
Guys, look, I'm sorry.

1274
01:15:54,468 --> 01:15:56,376
I hate to admit it,
but this time he's right.

1275
01:15:56,386 --> 01:15:58,294
You can't be here.
It's a liability thing.

1276
01:15:58,304 --> 01:16:00,026
- Hey, man,
he's the motherfuckin' liability.

1277
01:16:00,036 --> 01:16:00,857
Don't worry about it.

1278
01:16:00,867 --> 01:16:03,704
This is my investigation. I promise you
there will be no bloodshed.

1279
01:16:03,714 --> 01:16:05,628
I promise.

1280
01:16:05,638 --> 01:16:07,546
Come on, guys.

1281
01:16:07,556 --> 01:16:10,238
Let's go.

1282
01:16:10,305 --> 01:16:12,282
[Water Running]

1283
01:16:12,292 --> 01:16:14,429
You okay, Charlie?

1284
01:16:14,496 --> 01:16:18,142
Uh, yeah. I'm just, uh,

1285
01:16:18,209 --> 01:16:20,209
freshening up.

1286
01:16:24,454 --> 01:16:26,834
How do you want
to handle it?

1287
01:16:28,713 --> 01:16:31,227
I say we storm the place
and start shooting.

1288
01:16:31,237 --> 01:16:33,154
But what if he's unarmed?

1289
01:16:33,164 --> 01:16:35,714
Plant a gun on him afterwards.

1290
01:16:40,396 --> 01:16:42,691
Don't fuck it up this time.

1291
01:17:03,765 --> 01:17:06,095
Agent Boshane.

1292
01:17:06,163 --> 01:17:09,633
It's Stubie.
He's got Baileygates and the girl.

1293
01:17:09,643 --> 01:17:11,643
What?

1294
01:17:15,917 --> 01:17:17,836
This is Boshane.
What's going on?

1295
01:17:17,846 --> 01:17:19,917
I caught them out on 134
in a stolen vehicle.

1296
01:17:19,927 --> 01:17:21,837
Baileygates and the girl.
I got them.

1297
01:17:21,847 --> 01:17:24,108
Officer Stubie, I don't want you
to attempt to move them alone,

1298
01:17:24,118 --> 01:17:24,551
you hear me?

1299
01:17:24,561 --> 01:17:26,508
Don't move them.
We'll be right there.

1300
01:17:26,518 --> 01:17:28,518
In your car, come on.

1301
01:17:30,105 --> 01:17:32,014
We sure is sorry
about this, Officer.

1302
01:17:32,024 --> 01:17:34,248
But our daddy always told us
to trust our instinct,

1303
01:17:34,258 --> 01:17:36,877
and our instinct is tellin' us
something don't smell right.

1304
01:17:36,887 --> 01:17:39,371
- Come on, let's roll.
- You guys are making a big mistake.

1305
01:17:39,381 --> 01:17:42,259
'Cause I promise you,
when I find your old man,

1306
01:17:42,269 --> 01:17:45,074
I'm personally gonna fuck him up.

1307
01:17:48,024 --> 01:17:50,508
Now, why did you go and say
something like that for, huh?

1308
01:17:50,518 --> 01:17:53,780
Lee Harvey, what's the diameter
of a chicken egg?

1309
01:17:53,790 --> 01:17:56,494
- 4.08 centimeters.
- No, no. What's that in inches?

1310
01:17:56,504 --> 01:17:58,575
1.61, man. What the fuck
you gettin' at, man?

1311
01:17:58,585 --> 01:18:00,334
I got ten bucks say
I can squeeze a chicken egg

1312
01:18:00,344 --> 01:18:01,521
up his ass without it breakin'.

1313
01:18:01,531 --> 01:18:04,984
Man, you can't put no chicken egg up his
ass. Look at him. He's a tight-ass.

1314
01:18:04,994 --> 01:18:07,765
- No, it can be done. Right on.
- Yo, I'll take that bet.

1315
01:18:07,775 --> 01:18:09,328
Pull your ass out.

1316
01:18:09,338 --> 01:18:11,338
[Tires Squealing]

1317
01:18:17,636 --> 01:18:20,907
I'll tell you one thing. If I didn't
have bad luck, I'd have no luck at all.

1318
01:18:20,917 --> 01:18:23,440
What are we gonna do
about Whitey?

1319
01:18:23,450 --> 01:18:25,838
Take a guess.
We're going on without him.

1320
01:18:25,848 --> 01:18:27,760
Moody.

1321
01:18:27,770 --> 01:18:29,684
Yeah, well, I didn't have
the fun you had last night.

1322
01:18:29,694 --> 01:18:32,725
I just got the hangover
and the swollen prostate.

1323
01:18:32,735 --> 01:18:34,644
Do you have any cash left
from when we checked in?

1324
01:18:34,654 --> 01:18:38,164
- Yes, 60 bucks, but it's Whitey's.
- Yeah, well.

1325
01:18:38,174 --> 01:18:43,529
Bad things happen to people who kill
their family with a hammer.

1326
01:18:46,336 --> 01:18:48,245
I'm payin'
but it's under protest.

1327
01:18:48,255 --> 01:18:52,335
- Come on. It was close enough.
- Yeah, whatever.

1328
01:18:53,282 --> 01:18:55,287
- Shit.
- Hey, give me the police scanner, man,

1329
01:18:55,297 --> 01:18:58,964
- so we can find out
what the fuck's going on.

1330
01:18:58,974 --> 01:19:00,974
All right.

1331
01:19:07,461 --> 01:19:08,955
- Well, motherfucker,
you speak German, don't you?

1332
01:19:08,965 --> 01:19:09,849
Motherfucker, I can speak it.

1333
01:19:09,859 --> 01:19:12,298
-I didn't say I could
read the shit all that good.

1334
01:19:12,308 --> 01:19:13,848
You's a motherfuckin' disgrace.

1335
01:19:13,858 --> 01:19:16,995
[Speaking German]

1336
01:19:22,761 --> 01:19:24,399
- Then get this motherfucker
off the ground!

1337
01:19:24,409 --> 01:19:25,629
All right, all right, all right.

1338
01:19:25,639 --> 01:19:27,038
[Together]
Whoa, shit!

1339
01:19:27,048 --> 01:19:27,585
[Together]
Whoa, shit!

1340
01:19:27,595 --> 01:19:30,857
[Sirens Approaching]

1341
01:19:38,895 --> 01:19:40,832
Oh!

1342
01:19:40,842 --> 01:19:42,818
- Oh.
- [Clucking]

1343
01:19:42,828 --> 01:19:45,858
[Shouting]
Oh,Jesus!

1344
01:19:49,005 --> 01:19:52,516
Would somebody get this goddamn chicken
out of my ass, please?

1345
01:19:52,526 --> 01:19:54,569
[Groaning]

1346
01:20:05,812 --> 01:20:07,721
Stay back.
We'll do it alone.

1347
01:20:07,731 --> 01:20:09,639
I'll take 19, you take 20.

1348
01:20:09,649 --> 01:20:11,855
Stay back!

1349
01:20:13,332 --> 01:20:17,418
Some turn out a hundred grand

1350
01:20:17,495 --> 01:20:20,640
-[Continues, Indistinct]
- Goddamn it!

1351
01:20:22,550 --> 01:20:26,545
Sons of bitches. I'll show 'em.
Sons of bitches.

1352
01:20:27,126 --> 01:20:29,035
I need a gun and lots of ammo.

1353
01:20:29,045 --> 01:20:32,719
Whoa, sorry.
72-hour wait, federal law.

1354
01:20:32,786 --> 01:20:35,185
How far am I from Rhode Island?

1355
01:20:35,195 --> 01:20:37,198
Four or five hours.

1356
01:20:37,275 --> 01:20:41,355
I got a map of New England
if you want it, $1.95.

1357
01:20:42,072 --> 01:20:45,642
- Here's a five. Keep the change.
- Thanks.

1358
01:20:53,152 --> 01:20:55,607
[Phone Ringing]

1359
01:20:55,674 --> 01:20:58,225
- Hello.
- Finneran, it's Charlie.

1360
01:20:58,235 --> 01:21:01,141
Charlie, you are in deep shit.
Where the hell are you?

1361
01:21:01,151 --> 01:21:03,828
Listen, you gotta get a message
to the colonel for me.

1362
01:21:03,838 --> 01:21:06,224
But no one outside the department
can know about this, all right?

1363
01:21:06,234 --> 01:21:08,211
'Cause this is deep.

1364
01:21:08,221 --> 01:21:11,674
4:30, South County Train Station,
bring plenty of backup.

1365
01:21:11,684 --> 01:21:13,591
You've got it.
And don't worry,

1366
01:21:13,601 --> 01:21:15,923
nobody outside the department
will hear about this.

1367
01:21:15,933 --> 01:21:17,841
Watch yourself, buddy, okay?

1368
01:21:17,851 --> 01:21:20,278
[Beeps]

1369
01:21:20,355 --> 01:21:23,128
4:30, eh?
Thanks for notifying us, Officer.

1370
01:21:23,138 --> 01:21:25,689
No, you've been
a really big help.

1371
01:21:25,699 --> 01:21:28,079
- You stay close.
- Yes, sir.

1372
01:21:29,057 --> 01:21:31,070
- Excuse me.
- Huh?

1373
01:21:32,097 --> 01:21:34,015
Where's Dickie?

1374
01:21:34,025 --> 01:21:35,933
He's waiting
for us in Boston.

1375
01:21:35,943 --> 01:21:41,056
I think it's about time
our little rich boy got his hands dirty.

1376
01:21:41,066 --> 01:21:42,979
So, tell me.

1377
01:21:42,989 --> 01:21:45,469
How was, uh, Mr. Wonderful?

1378
01:21:45,546 --> 01:21:51,081
This is getting really ridiculous,
Charlie, so just let it go.

1379
01:21:51,148 --> 01:21:53,057
You know, I turn my back
for one minute,

1380
01:21:53,067 --> 01:21:55,070
and you stick it
up my ass, literally.

1381
01:21:55,080 --> 01:21:59,137
For your information,
you stuck it in your own ass!

1382
01:21:59,147 --> 01:22:01,220
Oh, don't turn this
around on me, okay?

1383
01:22:01,230 --> 01:22:05,225
You're the one
that can't keep your legs closed.

1384
01:22:12,749 --> 01:22:14,592
Why are you doing this?

1385
01:22:14,602 --> 01:22:16,617
Because I like you!

1386
01:22:21,163 --> 01:22:23,163
What?

1387
01:22:26,448 --> 01:22:29,201
I like you.

1388
01:22:38,294 --> 01:22:41,106
I like you.

1389
01:22:41,173 --> 01:22:43,638
Well, you shouldn't, Charlie.

1390
01:22:44,531 --> 01:22:47,983
I'm just a ditz.

1391
01:22:48,050 --> 01:22:49,959
A ditz? What are
you talking about?

1392
01:22:49,969 --> 01:22:54,449
You're 27 years old. You're the
superintendent of a major golf resort.

1393
01:22:54,459 --> 01:22:59,408
Uh, yeah, well, I kind of fudged
my resume a little bit to get that job.

1394
01:22:59,418 --> 01:23:01,355
Oh?

1395
01:23:01,365 --> 01:23:04,848
Look, I don't know the first thing
about running a golf course, Charlie.

1396
01:23:04,858 --> 01:23:06,858
I'm a model.

1397
01:23:07,898 --> 01:23:10,583
- Huh?
- I moved to New York.

1398
01:23:10,650 --> 01:23:14,420
But none of it worked out,
so then I tried to be an actress.

1399
01:23:14,430 --> 01:23:18,065
I got this eating disorder
where I gained, like, 20 pounds.

1400
01:23:18,075 --> 01:23:19,988
That's not that bad.

1401
01:23:19,998 --> 01:23:22,008
- In a week.
- Oh.

1402
01:23:22,075 --> 01:23:24,751
So I kind of lost
my self-respect.

1403
01:23:24,761 --> 01:23:28,790
Before you know it, I had
70-year-old guys trying to support me,

1404
01:23:28,800 --> 01:23:32,880
and I just really didn't like
who I was becoming.

1405
01:23:34,364 --> 01:23:39,457
God, I've made so many mistakes.

1406
01:23:40,484 --> 01:23:43,774
Irene.

1407
01:23:43,840 --> 01:23:47,832
You didn't know
what Dickie was up to, did you?

1408
01:23:49,126 --> 01:23:52,186
I may be a ditz,
but I'm not a crook.

1409
01:24:03,688 --> 01:24:06,816
When we met
light was shed

1410
01:24:06,884 --> 01:24:09,635
Thoughts free flow
you said

1411
01:24:09,703 --> 01:24:12,523
You've got something

1412
01:24:12,581 --> 01:24:14,921
Deep inside of you

1413
01:24:14,988 --> 01:24:18,250
A wind chime voice sound

1414
01:24:18,317 --> 01:24:20,898
The sway of your hips
round rings true

1415
01:24:20,908 --> 01:24:23,295
-[Continues, Indistinct]
- My ass is really sore.

1416
01:24:23,305 --> 01:24:26,815
Echoes deep inside of you

1417
01:24:26,892 --> 01:24:29,790
[Continues]

1418
01:24:35,306 --> 01:24:37,306
Wow.

1419
01:24:38,826 --> 01:24:41,631
I never get tired
of hearing that.

1420
01:24:56,149 --> 01:24:58,453
Hey.

1421
01:24:58,510 --> 01:25:00,428
Oh, hey.
I'm looking for my friends.

1422
01:25:00,438 --> 01:25:02,663
A pretty little blonde
and a tall guy with a buzz cut.

1423
01:25:02,673 --> 01:25:04,968
- Cabin "E."
- Thanks a lot.

1424
01:25:14,807 --> 01:25:17,330
Shh. Don't make a sound.

1425
01:25:17,396 --> 01:25:20,744
I don't know anything, and that's
exactly what I told the police.

1426
01:25:20,754 --> 01:25:22,827
-I swear.
-Shut up, Irene! You just listen to me.

1427
01:25:22,837 --> 01:25:25,472
Maybe we can
work something out.

1428
01:25:28,409 --> 01:25:33,339
Time to face the music, Mozart.
And a-one, and a-two, and--

1429
01:25:35,326 --> 01:25:38,003
[Yowling]

1430
01:25:51,970 --> 01:25:54,453
Warden, I want my own cell.

1431
01:25:55,614 --> 01:25:57,657
Oh, great, you again.

1432
01:25:59,490 --> 01:26:00,635
- What tree did
this sap ooze out of?

1433
01:26:00,645 --> 01:26:01,023
It's Dickie.

1434
01:26:01,033 --> 01:26:02,562
- What tree did
this sap ooze out of?

1435
01:26:02,572 --> 01:26:03,076
It's Dickie.

1436
01:26:03,086 --> 01:26:05,452
- It's the guy who got me
into all this crap! Yeah.

1437
01:26:05,462 --> 01:26:06,405
Oh, your golf buddy?

1438
01:26:06,415 --> 01:26:08,081
- I hope he doesn't mind
if I play through.

1439
01:26:08,091 --> 01:26:08,841
Knock it off, Hank.

1440
01:26:08,851 --> 01:26:11,112
- Okay, turn around.
I'll play the back nine.

1441
01:26:11,122 --> 01:26:11,528
Stop it!

1442
01:26:11,538 --> 01:26:14,377
Come on, he couldn't have chewed up
the greens that badly.

1443
01:26:14,387 --> 01:26:16,597
- Get away from me!
- Whoa.

1444
01:26:16,621 --> 01:26:18,665
He hasn't played the course
in a long time, okay?

1445
01:26:18,675 --> 01:26:20,583
It was Charlie who was putting.

1446
01:26:20,593 --> 01:26:22,636
- Charlie?
- Yeah, that's right.

1447
01:26:22,646 --> 01:26:25,543
He might not be long off the tee, but
he's got a pretty good up and down game.

1448
01:26:25,553 --> 01:26:28,583
What the hell is that supp-- Can we
just speak English for a second here?

1449
01:26:28,593 --> 01:26:32,296
I never wanted to sleep with you,
Hank, okay? You tricked me.

1450
01:26:32,306 --> 01:26:34,253
Yeah, that's right.
I did trick you.

1451
01:26:34,263 --> 01:26:36,843
It was deceitful.
It was disgusting and despicable.

1452
01:26:36,853 --> 01:26:39,596
But just this once,
try to look at it from my side.

1453
01:26:39,606 --> 01:26:42,838
- I was horny.
- Oh, God.

1454
01:26:42,905 --> 01:26:45,045
You are such an asshole!

1455
01:26:45,112 --> 01:26:48,767
Come on. Don't be mad,
my little pussy fart.

1456
01:26:51,317 --> 01:26:53,716
Now, I warned you
about that, buddy.

1457
01:26:53,726 --> 01:26:56,784
Warned me about what?

1458
01:26:56,862 --> 01:26:58,675
Charlie?

1459
01:26:58,685 --> 01:27:00,718
Uh-huh.

1460
01:27:00,795 --> 01:27:03,471
Providence, Rhode Island.
Ten-minute stop.

1461
01:27:03,481 --> 01:27:06,139
- Did you--
- What?

1462
01:27:06,206 --> 01:27:08,624
- What the hell is going on here?
- Hank was coming on to me again.

1463
01:27:08,634 --> 01:27:11,740
Hank? Damn it.

1464
01:27:11,807 --> 01:27:13,813
I am so sick of that guy.

1465
01:27:13,823 --> 01:27:15,634
Okay, Hank,
come on out here.

1466
01:27:15,644 --> 01:27:18,033
Let's settle this
the old-fashioned way. Come on!

1467
01:27:18,043 --> 01:27:21,016
I may not be tough, but, damn it,
I can get good and mad!

1468
01:27:21,026 --> 01:27:23,443
- Come on!
- Stop it, man. You're scaring me.

1469
01:27:23,453 --> 01:27:25,400
What's the matter with you?

1470
01:27:25,410 --> 01:27:27,319
Let's get off. Let's get off
before he wakes up. Come on.

1471
01:27:27,329 --> 01:27:32,259
I'm not through with you, buster.
I'm not through with you!

1472
01:27:37,093 --> 01:27:41,208
What's the matter, Hank? Afraid
to pick on someone your own size?

1473
01:27:41,218 --> 01:27:43,742
Are you okay?

1474
01:27:43,809 --> 01:27:45,727
What happened?

1475
01:27:45,737 --> 01:27:47,650
That was dirty.

1476
01:27:47,660 --> 01:27:50,331
All right. Come on.
Where are you?

1477
01:27:50,341 --> 01:27:52,386
Where are you?
Here I am.

1478
01:27:52,453 --> 01:27:54,453
Oh, you bastard.

1479
01:27:55,846 --> 01:27:57,761
[Grunting]

1480
01:27:57,771 --> 01:27:59,742
Stop it,
you're gonna kill him!

1481
01:27:59,752 --> 01:28:02,725
[Banging, Grunting Continue]

1482
01:28:02,792 --> 01:28:05,612
You're choking me.

1483
01:28:05,670 --> 01:28:07,589
Ow, ow, ow, ow. Charlie,
don't break it. Don't break it.

1484
01:28:07,599 --> 01:28:10,533
Get on your knees and beg me.
Up yours. I beg--

1485
01:28:10,543 --> 01:28:13,353
[Cracking]

1486
01:28:17,200 --> 01:28:19,780
On your feet, Opie.
We're gonna have some fun.

1487
01:28:19,790 --> 01:28:22,247
Irene.

1488
01:28:22,313 --> 01:28:24,328
Irene.

1489
01:28:25,843 --> 01:28:28,932
Hi, ladies. My name is Charlie
Baileygates. Wanna see my weasel?

1490
01:28:28,942 --> 01:28:30,984
[Screaming]

1491
01:28:31,051 --> 01:28:33,229
[Panting]

1492
01:28:34,323 --> 01:28:36,232
Free hot dogs here.
All you can eat.

1493
01:28:36,242 --> 01:28:38,151
Get your foot-long
and a bag of nuts.

1494
01:28:38,161 --> 01:28:42,156
No, don't listen to him!
It's not me. It's Hank.

1495
01:28:46,485 --> 01:28:49,834
Come back here, Hank.
I'm not through with you!

1496
01:28:49,844 --> 01:28:53,354
- [Yelling]
- [Laughing, Groaning]

1497
01:28:56,664 --> 01:28:59,313
Had enough? Up yours.

1498
01:29:03,321 --> 01:29:05,460
Stop it, you two!
Stop it!

1499
01:29:09,845 --> 01:29:11,436
It's Gerke!
Come on!

1500
01:29:11,446 --> 01:29:14,761
All right, Hank, truce.
For now, fucker.

1501
01:29:20,032 --> 01:29:22,640
[Man] Watch out!
He's got a gun!

1502
01:29:22,650 --> 01:29:26,135
I'll follow the girl.
You get Baileygates.

1503
01:29:31,227 --> 01:29:33,624
Police officer!
Everybody down!

1504
01:29:33,634 --> 01:29:36,253
Get down!

1505
01:29:36,320 --> 01:29:38,585
Ow!

1506
01:29:41,307 --> 01:29:43,307
Get out of the way.

1507
01:29:46,277 --> 01:29:48,185
[Panting]
Hank, we're shot.

1508
01:29:48,195 --> 01:29:50,104
Come on, you pussy.
It's just a flesh wound. Look.

1509
01:29:50,114 --> 01:29:52,114
[Screaming]

1510
01:30:00,359 --> 01:30:02,939
Look, there's
keys in the car.

1511
01:30:03,016 --> 01:30:05,500
No, I can't go on.

1512
01:30:07,015 --> 01:30:09,730
I think--
[Groaning]

1513
01:30:09,797 --> 01:30:13,212
I think I'm gonna faint.

1514
01:30:13,289 --> 01:30:15,289
[People Screaming]

1515
01:30:18,604 --> 01:30:23,275
Do you mean to say
that I gotta carry your sorry ass?

1516
01:30:23,332 --> 01:30:25,990
All right.

1517
01:30:26,057 --> 01:30:28,877
Come on, Rip Van Wussy.

1518
01:30:31,975 --> 01:30:34,949
Jesus, you're heavy.

1519
01:30:39,659 --> 01:30:41,659
Get in there.

1520
01:30:45,550 --> 01:30:48,235
[Folk Rock]

1521
01:30:48,302 --> 01:30:50,508
And we're gone.

1522
01:30:52,753 --> 01:30:55,756
Oh, shit!
Don't worry about him.

1523
01:30:58,701 --> 01:31:01,223
Hank, what have you done?

1524
01:31:01,300 --> 01:31:04,619
Oh, my God!
Don't you just love it.

1525
01:31:07,920 --> 01:31:12,177
It's a strange condition

1526
01:31:12,244 --> 01:31:14,894
A day in prison

1527
01:31:14,961 --> 01:31:17,579
- Move it.
-It's got me out of my head

1528
01:31:17,589 --> 01:31:21,329
And I don't know
what I came for

1529
01:31:21,397 --> 01:31:24,811
You are a sick pup.

1530
01:31:24,888 --> 01:31:27,948
Yeah, well, it takes one to know one.
What are you doing?

1531
01:31:27,958 --> 01:31:30,671
- Hank! [Grunting]
- [Honking]

1532
01:31:30,739 --> 01:31:32,984
Ever been bitch-slapped?

1533
01:31:33,051 --> 01:31:36,850
[Sobbing] I'm gonna kill you,
Hank, I swear to God.

1534
01:31:36,860 --> 01:31:40,304
Arrivederci, deadwood.
No!

1535
01:31:42,039 --> 01:31:44,822
'Cause I want to know

1536
01:31:46,395 --> 01:31:50,357
And it's a strange condition

1537
01:31:50,424 --> 01:31:54,040
A day in prison

1538
01:31:54,107 --> 01:31:56,015
You got me out of my head

1539
01:31:56,025 --> 01:31:59,670
And I don't know
what I came for

1540
01:32:01,888 --> 01:32:05,983
And I want you to know

1541
01:32:19,231 --> 01:32:22,684
[Whistling]

1542
01:32:25,312 --> 01:32:27,479
What the hell are you
still doing here?

1543
01:32:27,489 --> 01:32:32,419
You can't just throw me away, Hank.
We're in this together.

1544
01:32:36,516 --> 01:32:38,429
Pritchard.

1545
01:32:38,439 --> 01:32:42,944
Cover the other end.
I want Charlie arrested on sight.

1546
01:32:59,337 --> 01:33:01,337
[Punch Lands, Thud]

1547
01:33:15,021 --> 01:33:18,166
Hey, Irene.
You just keep walking now.

1548
01:33:20,468 --> 01:33:23,443
- [Tires Squealing]
- [Horn Honking]

1549
01:33:28,624 --> 01:33:30,800
Irene?

1550
01:33:30,867 --> 01:33:32,867
Irene?

1551
01:33:35,828 --> 01:33:38,091
Hold it, Baileygates.
You're coming with me.

1552
01:33:38,101 --> 01:33:40,921
- Not now, Finneran.
- Yes, now!

1553
01:33:42,388 --> 01:33:44,238
That was me.

1554
01:33:44,248 --> 01:33:46,474
Yeah, big deal. The guy's got
a glass jaw. Shut up, Hank!

1555
01:33:46,484 --> 01:33:48,393
- You know, you're so--
- Hank!

1556
01:33:48,403 --> 01:33:50,302
Hank!

1557
01:33:50,312 --> 01:33:52,312
Hey, let her go!

1558
01:33:52,355 --> 01:33:55,330
She asked for me, asshole.
Big deal.

1559
01:33:59,242 --> 01:34:01,919
Dickie, you know
I don't know anything.

1560
01:34:01,929 --> 01:34:04,394
Shut up, Irene.
It's too late.

1561
01:34:11,242 --> 01:34:13,956
Hank!

1562
01:34:14,023 --> 01:34:16,259
Hank!

1563
01:34:16,336 --> 01:34:18,249
- No way.
- Come on.

1564
01:34:18,259 --> 01:34:20,586
[Yelling]

1565
01:34:25,939 --> 01:34:29,094
- [Bridge Creaking]
- Oh, no, water.

1566
01:34:29,171 --> 01:34:32,354
Yeah, she's pretty much screwed.
Come on, I'll buy you a beer.

1567
01:34:32,364 --> 01:34:34,279
No, we're doing this.

1568
01:34:34,289 --> 01:34:36,462
[Grunting]

1569
01:34:36,529 --> 01:34:38,442
Hey.

1570
01:34:38,452 --> 01:34:42,313
Hank, what are you doing?
Give me the leg.

1571
01:34:42,390 --> 01:34:45,110
- Whoa! Hank, hurry!
- [Creaking]

1572
01:34:45,968 --> 01:34:48,145
This is my body!

1573
01:34:48,211 --> 01:34:50,313
Do you understand that?

1574
01:34:50,390 --> 01:34:52,298
I'm calling the shots
from now on, Hank.

1575
01:34:52,308 --> 01:34:54,217
I don't need you
to fight my battles for me.

1576
01:34:54,227 --> 01:34:56,136
If you can back down
from something this important,

1577
01:34:56,146 --> 01:34:58,064
you're nothing at all.

1578
01:34:58,074 --> 01:35:00,788
You're nothing at all!

1579
01:35:00,855 --> 01:35:02,855
[Creaking]

1580
01:35:05,240 --> 01:35:07,177
[Chuckling]
I got my leg back.

1581
01:35:07,187 --> 01:35:09,557
Oh, no. Hank!

1582
01:35:09,624 --> 01:35:11,624
I'm coming, Irene.

1583
01:35:11,637 --> 01:35:13,637
[Yells]

1584
01:35:14,910 --> 01:35:16,913
Hank! No!

1585
01:35:16,980 --> 01:35:20,145
It's okay, Irene.

1586
01:35:20,213 --> 01:35:23,350
Hank's gone.
It's me, Charlie.

1587
01:35:23,417 --> 01:35:25,330
Charlie?

1588
01:35:25,340 --> 01:35:27,887
Uh, maybe you should
go back and get help.

1589
01:35:27,897 --> 01:35:29,897
No, I can handle it.

1590
01:35:31,416 --> 01:35:35,071
I'm warning you, pal.
You're gonna get hurt.

1591
01:35:35,580 --> 01:35:38,228
- [Creaking]
- Be careful, Charlie.

1592
01:35:38,238 --> 01:35:41,172
-Just do what he says, Charlie.
- Back off, back off!

1593
01:35:41,182 --> 01:35:43,734
-Just turn around. Now!
- Take it easy, Dickie.

1594
01:35:43,744 --> 01:35:45,747
- Take it easy.
- [Creaking]

1595
01:35:45,757 --> 01:35:47,936
There's nowhere to go.

1596
01:35:48,003 --> 01:35:49,915
Come on, Dickie.

1597
01:35:49,925 --> 01:35:52,061
Give me the gun.

1598
01:35:52,128 --> 01:35:56,156
Come on. Come on.

1599
01:35:56,224 --> 01:35:59,322
That's it.
Nice and easy.

1600
01:36:00,483 --> 01:36:03,035
[Screaming]

1601
01:36:05,192 --> 01:36:07,192
[Screaming]

1602
01:36:10,085 --> 01:36:12,060
Where's my thumb?

1603
01:36:12,070 --> 01:36:14,362
That's kidnapping and assault.
You know that, don't you?

1604
01:36:14,372 --> 01:36:16,379
- Well, why stop there?
- No!

1605
01:36:16,389 --> 01:36:19,456
- [Grunts]
- Oh, God.

1606
01:36:20,617 --> 01:36:24,445
- Whitey!
- Rock 'n' roll!

1607
01:36:25,769 --> 01:36:28,483
[Screaming]

1608
01:36:30,440 --> 01:36:32,319
Irene?

1609
01:36:32,329 --> 01:36:34,700
Irene!

1610
01:36:47,025 --> 01:36:49,098
Irene!

1611
01:36:57,779 --> 01:37:00,973
Irene!

1612
01:37:06,354 --> 01:37:10,756
- Irene, Irene.
- What? What? Oh, my God. Ow.

1613
01:37:10,833 --> 01:37:13,318
[Helicopter Approaching]

1614
01:37:13,395 --> 01:37:15,395
[Moaning, Gurgling]

1615
01:37:19,641 --> 01:37:21,606
Keep going.
Bring it down, bring it down.

1616
01:37:21,616 --> 01:37:24,063
- Look at that.
- We're coming, Daddy.

1617
01:37:24,073 --> 01:37:25,260
We're coming, man.

1618
01:37:25,270 --> 01:37:27,919
It's my kids!

1619
01:37:32,312 --> 01:37:34,700
Come on, Daddy!
Grab a hold of that motherfucker, man!

1620
01:37:34,710 --> 01:37:38,490
[Hip-hop]

1621
01:37:50,777 --> 01:37:53,166
I always dance with a lady
gets me there every time

1622
01:37:53,176 --> 01:37:55,890
On the road to recovery, shit,
I think we missed the damn sign

1623
01:37:55,900 --> 01:37:57,814
[Continues, Indistinct]

1624
01:37:57,824 --> 01:37:59,727
So, how's my thumb
looking, Doc?

1625
01:37:59,737 --> 01:38:02,542
I'll let you know when I find it.

1626
01:38:02,626 --> 01:38:04,792
- Irene, Charlie.
- Hey.

1627
01:38:04,859 --> 01:38:07,395
- This is Agent Steve Parfitt, F.B.I.
Old friend.

1628
01:38:07,405 --> 01:38:08,245
Nice to see you.

1629
01:38:08,255 --> 01:38:11,027
You must be awfully
proud of these maniacs.

1630
01:38:11,037 --> 01:38:14,816
Oh, I am.

1631
01:38:14,883 --> 01:38:17,798
- Yeah, you know, we're proud
of this motherfucker too.

1632
01:38:17,808 --> 01:38:18,615
Oh. [Chuckling]

1633
01:38:18,625 --> 01:38:21,109
- It's good to see you're safe, Dad.
I'll tell you that.

1634
01:38:21,119 --> 01:38:21,340
Yeah.

1635
01:38:21,350 --> 01:38:23,737
[Narrator] The colonel informed them
that all the guilty parties...

1636
01:38:23,747 --> 01:38:26,050
had been apprehended.

1637
01:38:26,117 --> 01:38:28,150
Gerke was arraigned
at a Providence hospital,

1638
01:38:28,160 --> 01:38:32,476
and Agent Boshane had been arrested
at the train station in New London.

1639
01:38:32,486 --> 01:38:36,313
But Charlie Baileygates
had other things on his mind.

1640
01:38:36,323 --> 01:38:39,893
- Charlie, nicely done.
- Thanks, Sea Bass.

1641
01:38:40,324 --> 01:38:43,038
Hey, Whitey.
Listen, I just wanted to tell you...

1642
01:38:43,048 --> 01:38:45,119
that I really appreciate
everything you did for me.

1643
01:38:45,129 --> 01:38:47,229
I owe you a huge one.

1644
01:38:47,306 --> 01:38:50,876
And I'm truly sorry
that you had to kill again.

1645
01:38:50,886 --> 01:38:53,312
It must be really
messing with your head.

1646
01:38:53,322 --> 01:38:56,552
- I never killed anyone before.
- What?

1647
01:38:56,582 --> 01:38:59,201
Look, you were an admitted schizo
who was wanted for murder...

1648
01:38:59,211 --> 01:39:02,268
and you were laying in bed next to me
gabbin' like a 16-year-old girl

1649
01:39:02,278 --> 01:39:03,038
on the telephone.

1650
01:39:03,048 --> 01:39:05,121
You freaked me out, man.

1651
01:39:05,198 --> 01:39:08,871
But what about your family?
How did they die?

1652
01:39:08,881 --> 01:39:11,595
I never said they were dead.

1653
01:39:11,663 --> 01:39:16,199
I said they were gone.
They moved to Phoenix, the bastards.

1654
01:39:16,209 --> 01:39:19,077
Look at me. I wouldn't last
two minutes out in the desert.

1655
01:39:19,087 --> 01:39:22,184
Hey, your bandage is wet.

1656
01:39:22,251 --> 01:39:25,446
Oh, yeah?
Well, maybe it's time to come off.

1657
01:39:25,456 --> 01:39:28,516
I'm surprised
it's held on this long.

1658
01:39:28,977 --> 01:39:30,890
Hey, that's not so bad.

1659
01:39:30,900 --> 01:39:35,691
Hey, Daddy. We just wanted to say
that you-- Holy shit.

1660
01:39:35,758 --> 01:39:38,665
Look, Daddy got
a goddamn butthole on his face.

1661
01:39:38,675 --> 01:39:42,934
- All Laughing]
- Oh, boy. Here we go.

1662
01:39:43,000 --> 01:39:45,447
He sure is
a Spartacus-lookin' motherfucker.

1663
01:39:45,457 --> 01:39:47,375
Hey, Daddy, man.
Look, man.

1664
01:39:47,385 --> 01:39:52,995
Now you can blow your nose
and wipe your ass at the same damn time.

1665
01:39:56,603 --> 01:39:59,493
You know what I'm saying?
Oh, shit.

1666
01:40:06,840 --> 01:40:09,496
- So.
- So.

1667
01:40:09,563 --> 01:40:11,798
How did your meeting
with the shrink go?

1668
01:40:11,808 --> 01:40:14,733
Oh, wonderful.
A clean bill of health.

1669
01:40:14,743 --> 01:40:16,661
- Yeah?
-Just another well-rounded individual.

1670
01:40:16,671 --> 01:40:20,403
That's great, Charlie.
I'm really happy for you.

1671
01:40:20,413 --> 01:40:22,325
Thank you.

1672
01:40:22,335 --> 01:40:24,373
Well, uh,

1673
01:40:24,450 --> 01:40:28,632
I hope if you're ever,
you know, around here,

1674
01:40:28,700 --> 01:40:33,276
you'll, uh,
come and visit us.

1675
01:40:33,343 --> 01:40:37,170
Yeah. Little Rhodie.

1676
01:40:37,246 --> 01:40:40,136
Biggest little state in the union.

1677
01:40:40,643 --> 01:40:42,555
Yeah.

1678
01:40:42,565 --> 01:40:45,496
Yeah.

1679
01:40:47,904 --> 01:40:51,219
- Oh, let me get that for you.
- Thanks.

1680
01:40:53,833 --> 01:40:56,450
- Hey, Irene.
- Yeah?

1681
01:40:58,149 --> 01:41:01,719
Maybe I could come
visit you sometime soon.

1682
01:41:01,987 --> 01:41:03,987
Promise?

1683
01:41:05,354 --> 01:41:07,354
You bet.

1684
01:41:10,475 --> 01:41:15,405
And that's the word
of a Rhode Island State Trooper, ma'am.

1685
01:41:39,378 --> 01:41:44,260
I found you sitting
on a suitcase crying

1686
01:41:45,844 --> 01:41:47,844
Beneath my feet

1687
01:41:47,858 --> 01:41:52,078
I feel the rumble
of a subway train

1688
01:41:52,146 --> 01:41:55,627
Yeah
I laugh out loud

1689
01:41:55,694 --> 01:41:59,519
'Cause it's the one thing
I hadn't been trying

1690
01:42:01,969 --> 01:42:05,286
The train came in breathless
the passengers restless

1691
01:42:05,296 --> 01:42:08,433
You said
baby, you'll never change

1692
01:42:08,501 --> 01:42:10,506
You gotta get gone

1693
01:42:10,582 --> 01:42:13,517
You gotta get going

1694
01:42:13,594 --> 01:42:16,314
Hey, the world
ain't slowing down

1695
01:42:16,376 --> 01:42:20,371
- You gotta be kidding.
-[Continues, Indistinct]

1696
01:42:21,624 --> 01:42:23,624
Hold it right there.

1697
01:42:28,924 --> 01:42:30,837
- Miss Waters.
- Yes?

1698
01:42:30,847 --> 01:42:32,858
- I'd like you to step
out of the car please.

1699
01:42:32,868 --> 01:42:33,874
What did I not do now?

1700
01:42:33,884 --> 01:42:36,119
We have reason to believe
this is a stolen vehicle.

1701
01:42:36,129 --> 01:42:38,040
What? No, no.

1702
01:42:38,050 --> 01:42:40,185
I rented this car.

1703
01:42:40,252 --> 01:42:43,397
Would you step
out of the car, please?

1704
01:42:44,445 --> 01:42:46,445
Great.

1705
01:42:48,128 --> 01:42:50,037
- Front of the car, please.
- Mm-hmm.

1706
01:42:50,047 --> 01:42:51,959
Hands on the hood.

1707
01:42:51,969 --> 01:42:54,132
- Spread your legs.
- That's great. Uh-huh.

1708
01:42:54,142 --> 01:42:55,616
- Mm-hmm.
- Thank you.

1709
01:42:55,626 --> 01:42:57,874
Just following procedure, ma'am.

1710
01:42:57,884 --> 01:43:01,500
Oh, you guys.
You guys are beautiful.

1711
01:43:01,567 --> 01:43:03,803
Look, why don't we
just skip the trial?

1712
01:43:03,813 --> 01:43:08,282
Get right to it. You can lock me up
and keep me here forever.

1713
01:43:08,292 --> 01:43:10,977
That's what I had planned.

1714
01:43:24,359 --> 01:43:26,359
Oh, Charlie.

1715
01:43:28,714 --> 01:43:30,714
[All Cheering]

1716
01:43:33,990 --> 01:43:37,884
It sounds like a song
it hits you like scripture

1717
01:43:37,894 --> 01:43:39,812
You paint the picture

1718
01:43:39,822 --> 01:43:42,306
With colors squeezed
from your hand

1719
01:43:42,316 --> 01:43:44,228
Weren't you the kid

1720
01:43:44,238 --> 01:43:46,691
Who just climbed
on the merry-go-round

1721
01:43:46,701 --> 01:43:48,867
It's gonna be raining
wine and roses tonight.

1722
01:43:48,877 --> 01:43:51,745
I'll tell you one thing. It's gonna be
raining my motherfuckin' cookies...

1723
01:43:51,755 --> 01:43:53,990
if this motherfucker don't
stop this turbulence shit.

1724
01:43:54,000 --> 01:43:55,908
-That's what the fuck I'm talking about.
-Come on, man.

1725
01:43:55,918 --> 01:43:58,622
[Narrator] Well, that's
Charlie's story, and I'm sticking to it.

1726
01:43:58,632 --> 01:44:02,949
They all moved in together
and lived as one big happy family--

1727
01:44:02,959 --> 01:44:05,185
Charlie and Irene, the guys,

1728
01:44:05,195 --> 01:44:08,331
even that nice
albino fella, Whitey.

1729
01:44:08,398 --> 01:44:11,909
And I'm happy to report
Charlie got promoted to Lieutenant...

1730
01:44:11,919 --> 01:44:14,950
in the greatest
law enforcement agency in the land,

1731
01:44:14,960 --> 01:44:17,779
the Rhode Island State Police.

1732
01:44:17,837 --> 01:44:21,290
Yeah, it was
a regular slice of Americana.

1733
01:44:21,300 --> 01:44:26,740
Y'all come back now. Thanks
for watchin' our motherfuckin' movie.

1734
01:44:28,024 --> 01:44:31,055
You gotta get gone
you gotta get going

1735
01:44:31,065 --> 01:44:35,477
Hey, the world ain't
slowing down for no one

1736
01:44:35,554 --> 01:44:38,470
-It's a carnival
calling out to you

1737
01:44:38,480 --> 01:44:39,219
[Mooing]

1738
01:44:39,229 --> 01:44:43,161
It's calling out to you

1739
01:44:43,228 --> 01:44:45,943
It sounds like a song
it hits you like scripture

1740
01:44:45,953 --> 01:44:47,867
You paint the picture

1741
01:44:47,877 --> 01:44:50,913
With colors squeezed
from your hand

1742
01:44:50,980 --> 01:44:54,999
Weren't you the kid
who just climbed on the merry-go

1743
01:44:55,009 --> 01:44:58,145
[Continues]

1744
01:51:09,877 --> 01:51:13,425
Okay, everybody.
The water temperature is 63 degrees.

1745
01:51:13,435 --> 01:51:16,783
Pop's thumb should be all right
if we find it within the next six hours.

1746
01:51:16,793 --> 01:51:19,182
- You sure about that?
- Do the math, motherfucker.

1747
01:51:19,192 --> 01:51:21,301
- Damn.
- Geez.

1748
01:51:29,561 --> 01:51:33,111
- Hey, I think I found it.
- What?

1749
01:51:38,721 --> 01:51:41,685
- False alarm.
- Oh, damn, Whitey.