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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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NETFLIXOV HUMORISTIČNI SPECIJAL
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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{\an8}KONCERTNA DVORANA "WHITE OAK"
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Dame i gospodo,
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možete osjetiti uzbuđenje u zraku.
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Idemo, Houstone, Teksas!
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Neka šou počne.
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Ja sam Dwayne Johnson,
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poznat kao The Rock,
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te također La Roca na španjolskom,
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i najseksi gad na svijetu.
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To sad nije važno. Važno je da ste
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došli vidjeti jednog čovjeka.
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Čovjeka koji dolazi iz
mjesta za koje mnogi znate.
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Iz Aliefa. Da.
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Mi ga zovemo "SWAT".
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Mnogi divni ljudi potekli su iz "SWAT-a".
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Lizzo, Beyoncé, Travis Scott.
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I još jedna osoba za koju niste znali
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da dolazi iz "SWAT-a",
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a to je jedan, jedini,
narodni šampion, The Rock!
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Dobro, samo večeras dolazim iz "SWAT-a".
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Sutra ću doći iz nekog drugog mjesta.
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Vjerojatno Havaja. Slušajte.
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Ono što je sad važno
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jest da imam čast predstaviti
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čovjeka kojeg ste došli vidjeti.
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Dame i gospodo Houstona,
toplu houstonsku dobrodošlicu poželite
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tom čovjeku.
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Šampionu drugog naroda.
Mojem frendu. Vašem frendu.
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Mou Ameru.
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Što ima, Houstone?
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Dobro, dobro, dobro…
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Sjednite. Sjednite.
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Uspjeli smo! Uspjeli smo.
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Uspjeli smo.
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Stvarno, ovo je divno.
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Svi smo tu zajedno. Nakon 19 mjeseci
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evo nas ovdje, zajedno.
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Kao izvođač koji nastupa uživo,
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doista sam mislio da je gotovo.
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I sad smo tu. Ovo je bio drugi put
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u životu da sam mislio
da bi mi karijera mogla završiti.
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Prvi put…
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bio je poslije 11. rujna.
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Kao netko s imenom Mohammed,
pomislio sam: "Nemam baš dobre izglede."
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Vlastita se obitelj okrenula protiv mene.
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Brat me pogledao u oči
i rekao: "Karijera ti je gotova."
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Kako mi to možeš reći?
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Znaš da sam uvijek
htio biti standup komičar.
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Kaže: "Vidi kako govore
o nama na vijestima."
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"Nitko ne želi gledati Mohammeda
kako na pozornici priča viceve."
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"Karijera ti je gotova."
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Rekao sam: "Omare, ti si pilot."
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U filmu sam s The Rockom.
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Evo ti na! Shvaćate me?
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Ajme.
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No je li gotovo?
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Je li pandemija gotova?
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Je li bila stvarna?
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Ali je li gotova?
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Ne, ozbiljno pitam. Je li?
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Uvijek sam se spreman nasmijati i
rasplakati u svakom trenu.
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Je li bilo stvarno? Je li?
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Znate što je stvarno?
Razvod je stvaran. Razvod…
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Razvod je jebeno stvaran.
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Razvod je jako stvaran.
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Razveo sam se tijekom pandemije.
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Dogodilo se. Što se može?
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Oboje smo… jedan tip je sretan.
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To nije kao one priče
koje čujete kad komičar kaže:
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"Jebeš tu kučku." Ne.
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Jednostavno nije išlo. Znate?
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I to je u redu.
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Kad ste tako dugo u braku,
naviknete se na neke stvari.
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Jedne sam noći čvrsto spavao
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i glasno sam prdnuo.
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Tako sam prdnuo da sam se
probudio posramljen.
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Ovako.
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Pogledao sam nalijevo i ispričao se.
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No nikoga nije bilo.
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Okrenuo sam se i plakao.
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Odmah sam to zapisao.
Pomislio sam: "Ovo je urnebesno."
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Je li stvarno? Je li?
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Je li stvarno?
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Ne znam.
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Sranje.
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Tako se osjećam…
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cijelo vrijeme.
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Pandemija, znate,
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ono što su nam mediji učinili,
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zaista, doima se neoprostivo.
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Stvarno. Ovako:
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"Panika!"
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"Dolazi!", "Što dolazi?"
"Ne znam. Dolazi."
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"Troje ljudi to imaju." "Što?"
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"Dolazi!" "Što dolazi?"
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"Nešto sa šišmišima. Ne znam."
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"Šišmiši dolaze?"
"Ne! To je krenulo od šišmiša."
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"I to se ne vidi golim okom."
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"Ali dolazi."
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"Svi ćete umrijeti."
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"Ali ne bojte se."
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"Ne--" "Kako to misliš? Ja se bojim."
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"Zabrinut sam."
"Bez brige, samo uzmi Domestos."
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"Bit ćeš dobro."
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"Kupi što više Domestosa."
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"Ali nemoj koristiti Domestos
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prije negoli ga očistiš Domestosom."
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"Onda možeš koristiti Domestos."
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"Kada dobiješ pakete,
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kupaj se s njima."
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Prešli su nas kao budale.
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"Došao je Amazon."
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"U redu je. Provjetrite. Dobro je."
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"Stavite masku." "Koliko maski?"
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Stalno se mijenjalo.
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"Stavite masku. Jednu masku",
rekao je Fauci,
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"Jedna maska štiti 33%."
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"Dvije maske štite 66%."
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"Tri maske štite 97%."
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Plastična vrećica 100%.
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Samo se ubijte. Ugušite se.
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"O, ne, još jedna žrtva COVID-a!"
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"Ne, frende,
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još jedna vreća. Ubio se."
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"Ostanite kod kuće. Riješili smo."
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"Ostani doma." "Koliko dugo?" "Ne znam."
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"Mjesecove, valjda."
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"Koliko mjesecova?"
"Mjesecove, stari, ne znam."
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"Proći će mjesecovi."
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"Koliko mjesecova?" "Ne znamo."
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"Trebali biste znati." "Znam."
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"Ali ne znamo."
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"Mjesecove. Samo ostanite doma."
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"Ali moram na posao."
"Jebeš posao," rekli su.
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"Jebeš posao."
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"Kako to mislite, jebeš posao?"
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"Ne moram plaćati najamninu?"
"Hej, polako."
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"Kapitalizam. Polako."
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"I dalje moraš plaćati najamninu."
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"Ali onda moram na posao.
Onda mi pošaljite novac. Znate što,
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samo mi pošaljite novac."
"Ne, zar si prolupao, stari?"
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"Ne možemo ti poslati novac."
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"O čemu pričaš? Ne možemo"
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"poslati--" "Zašto mucaš?"
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"Pošaljite mi novac." "Nemamo novca."
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"Nemamo." "O čemu vi to?"
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"Šaljemo vam novac, ali to ne ide tako."
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"Šaljemo novac i vi ga rasporedite
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u razne odjeljke. Imate socijalno,
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zdravstveno, dopunsko.
Puno je to odjeljaka."
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"Sigurno imate fond za crne dane."
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"Morate imati fond za crne dane."
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"A vani je mračno i lijeva kao ludo."
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"Jebena sezona uragana."
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"Sedam uragana istovremeno."
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"Pošaljite mi jebeni novac."
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"Priznajem, švorc smo. OK?"
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"Kako to mislite švorc?
Vi ste federalna vlada."
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"Znam, znam."
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"Znam, u dugovima smo."
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"U dugovima smo…"
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"U puno dugova."
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"Koliki je dug?"
"Samo smo u minusu. Samo…"
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"Samo smo--" "Znam što dug znači,
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ali koliki minus?" "Puno je to minusa."
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"Puno minusa. Velik minus."
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"Samo reci, koliko?"
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"Dvadeset bilijuna dolara."
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"Dvadeset bilijuna dolara?"
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"Tko je zadužen za čekovnu knjižicu?"
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"MC Hammer? Tko rukovodi
cijelom ovom situacijom?"
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"Kako ste u minusu 20 bilijuna dolara?"
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"Ubijanje smeđih ljudi jako je skupo."
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"Ajme…
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tako je skupo."
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"Jako. Dakle,
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vidite da vam ne možemo poslati novac."
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"U minusu smo.
Kamate se skupljaju. Ne možemo…
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slati iz minusa."
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"Molim, Kyle?"
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"Burza će propasti?"
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"Sranje, Kyle. Pali printer."
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"Pali jebeni printer!"
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"Isprintaj tri bilijuna dolara."
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"To ćemo uložiti u Ponzijevu shemu
poznatu i kao tržište dionica."
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Jer je tržište dionica izravni odraz
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američkih srca posvuda.
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Ako strelica ide prema dolje,
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srca i duše Amerikanaca
posvuda također tonu.
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"Gle, upalilo je! Ide gore!"
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"Amerikanci su opet sretni."
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"Ide gore, juri u nebesa!"
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"Čekaj malo, kako ide u nebesa?"
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00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:05,688
"Svi smo doma. Mislio sam…"
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00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:09,609
"Kako je to…"
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00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:14,530
"Kako…"
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"Kako ide prema gore?"
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00:10:16,365 --> 00:10:18,826
"Mislio sam da je sve
temeljeno na prihodima
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i kvartalnim zaradama. A nitko ne radi."
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00:10:22,246 --> 00:10:23,873
"Naručujem s Amazona. Sranje."
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00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:27,084
"Svi naručuju od kuće,
trebalo bi letjeti u nebesa."
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00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:28,377
"Jebi se, Jeff Bezos,
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i hvala ti, Jeff Bezos,
sve u isto vrijeme."
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00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,007
"Ali kako to i dalje ide prema gore?"
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00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:36,427
"Mislio sam da je temeljeno
na zaradi. Svi su kod kuće."
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00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:38,346
"Začepi, čovječe!"
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"Samo gledaj strelicu.
Zar ne možeš začepiti
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00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:43,100
i biti sretan što strelica ide gore?"
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00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:45,603
"Ne, ne mogu. Trebamo novac."
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"Evo 1200. Novac za šutnju."
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00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:49,815
"Začepi gubicu."
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00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:56,864
"Hvala. To će mi trajati
tjedan dana. Cijenim to."
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00:10:56,947 --> 00:10:58,240
"Prestani me ometati."
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00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:00,785
"Kako strelica ide prema gore, stvarno?"
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00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:02,703
"Beskućnika je više no ikad."
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00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:05,122
"Izvanzemaljci postoje.
Malo o tome razmišljaj."
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00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:06,624
"Molim?"
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00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:11,128
"Razgovarate s njima?"
"Da, stalno. Ludo je."
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00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:14,799
"Samo gledajte strelicu."
"Ali puno je nezaposlenih."
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00:11:14,882 --> 00:11:17,593
"Pedeset milijuna nezaposlenih. Kako onda
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strelica ide gore?" "Slušaj,
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00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:22,932
Jada je varala Willa Smitha. Misli na to."
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"Molim?"
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00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:27,520
"Zašto, Jada, zašto?"
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00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:29,271
"Što se dogodilo?"
229
00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:32,149
"Spetljala sam se s nekim,
ne znam, ludo je."
230
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,692
"Samo gledaj strelicu."
231
00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:35,403
"Gledaj strelicu." "Ozbiljno,
232
00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:37,822
ne odvlači mi pažnju. Kako ova strelica
233
00:11:37,905 --> 00:11:40,032
i dalje ide gore? Molim, objasni."
234
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:42,201
"Imam vruću dojavu za tebe."
235
00:11:42,284 --> 00:11:44,453
"Kriptovaluta."
236
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,455
"Što je kriptovaluta?"
237
00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:49,708
"To su mali ljudi u računalu
238
00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:52,211
koji rudare. Samo rudare
239
00:11:52,294 --> 00:11:54,088
i traže digitalne novčiće."
240
00:11:54,171 --> 00:11:57,007
"Premjestiš pravi lažni novac
241
00:11:57,091 --> 00:11:58,509
na…
242
00:11:59,510 --> 00:12:01,137
na još pravog lažnog novca."
243
00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:03,055
"I onda premjestiš,
244
00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:05,933
kad imaš još pravog lažnog
novca, premjestiš ga tu
245
00:12:06,016 --> 00:12:07,143
i nastavljaš tako."
246
00:12:07,726 --> 00:12:09,270
"Tako sam zbunjen."
247
00:12:09,353 --> 00:12:11,939
"Hej, imam još nešto
za tebe. Nezamjenjivi token."
248
00:12:12,022 --> 00:12:14,233
"Što je nezamjenjivi token?"
249
00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:17,862
"To je blok-lanac vlasništva."
250
00:12:17,945 --> 00:12:19,864
"Stavit ću plastičnu vrećicu na glavu.
251
00:12:19,947 --> 00:12:21,031
Jebeš ovo."
252
00:12:27,204 --> 00:12:28,664
Je li stvarno?
253
00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:31,375
COVID je stvaran.
254
00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:34,753
Imao sam ga. Dave Chappelle
zarazio me COVID-om. Da.
255
00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:38,090
To je bio drugi put.
256
00:12:38,966 --> 00:12:42,303
Ali prvi put me nazvao
na samom početku pandemije.
257
00:12:42,386 --> 00:12:44,180
Pitao me "Hej, Mo, što radiš?"
258
00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:46,724
Rekao sam: "Ne znam pratiš li vijesti."
259
00:12:46,807 --> 00:12:49,268
"Kod kuće sam. To radim."
260
00:12:49,351 --> 00:12:52,521
"To ti radiš. Svi smo kod kuće.
Ne znam jesi li gledao."
261
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,523
Kaže on: "Neće nas slomiti."
262
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,025
Kažem ja: "Slomljeni smo."
263
00:12:56,108 --> 00:12:59,278
"Cijela je država slomljena."
264
00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:00,779
Kaže on: "Zato te i zovem."
265
00:13:00,863 --> 00:13:04,283
"Planiram nastupe u kukuruzištu u Ohiju."
266
00:13:04,366 --> 00:13:07,495
Rekao sam: "Ne znam,
frende, nisam baš siguran."
267
00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:08,954
Kaže on: "Ne, ne."
268
00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:11,415
"Svatko će se testirati svaka tri dana."
269
00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:13,250
"Bit će sigurno. Najbolje moguće.
270
00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:14,752
Ništa ne jamčim."
271
00:13:14,835 --> 00:13:16,295
"Dat ćemo sve od sebe--"
272
00:13:16,378 --> 00:13:19,507
Pitao sam: "Imaš naprave za testiranje?
273
00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:21,926
Ovo je početak pandemije."
274
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:25,262
"Odakle ti naprave za testiranje?"
Samo je poludio:
275
00:13:25,346 --> 00:13:28,516
"Ja sam Dave Chappelle.
Naravno da ih imam--"
276
00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:31,393
Rekao sam: "Istina."
277
00:13:32,019 --> 00:13:33,312
Zaista je tako.
278
00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:37,650
Otišao sam u Ohio.
279
00:13:37,733 --> 00:13:39,902
Nastupi su bili odlični.
280
00:13:39,985 --> 00:13:43,155
Trajalo je skoro četiri mjeseca.
281
00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:44,406
Skoro smo uspjeli,
282
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:46,617
ali virus se proširio pa smo morali stati.
283
00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:48,661
Iz toga je napravio dokumentarac.
284
00:13:48,744 --> 00:13:50,579
To je nevjerojatan dokumentarac.
285
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:53,207
Gledao sam ga u "Radio City Music Hallu".
286
00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:55,292
Tad sam ga vidio prvi put.
287
00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:57,419
Kad sam ga pogledao, rekao sam: "Čekaj,
288
00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:59,922
na kraju filma ispada
289
00:14:00,005 --> 00:14:02,758
da sam ja sve upropastio."
290
00:14:02,841 --> 00:14:06,011
Dobio sam COVID i sve se moralo prekinuti.
291
00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:07,680
Jer ja sam bio kučka.
292
00:14:07,763 --> 00:14:09,139
Rekao sam: "Čekaj malo."
293
00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:10,683
Otišao sam do Davea.
294
00:14:10,766 --> 00:14:12,726
"Dave, editirao si ovo da ispada
295
00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:15,396
da je Mohammed
bio zločinac u cijeloj situaciji."
296
00:14:16,063 --> 00:14:17,731
"Nije istina. Ništa nisam učinio."
297
00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:19,858
Rekao je: "Nitko to neće misliti."
298
00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:21,527
I čim je otišao,
299
00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:23,070
dođe Bradley Cooper.
300
00:14:23,153 --> 00:14:25,447
Rekao je: "Stari, baš je sjebano kako si
301
00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:28,325
uništio zabavu u Ohiju."
302
00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:29,827
Rekao sam: "Nisam ja!"
303
00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:32,913
"To kaže nagrađivani redatelj."
304
00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:35,374
"O, ne!" A nisam ja bio kriv.
305
00:14:35,457 --> 00:14:38,168
Bila je jedna mala ženica. Jako mala.
306
00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:40,296
I stalno nas je pipkala.
307
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:43,132
Stalno me dirala. "Hej, Mo."
308
00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:45,634
"Bok." Stalno je to radila.
309
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,469
"Hej, prestani me dirati."
310
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:51,098
"Kao prvo, pandemija je.
I uopće te ne poznajem."
311
00:14:51,181 --> 00:14:52,725
"Prestani me dirati."
312
00:14:52,808 --> 00:14:56,020
I onda mi se lažno nakašljala u lice.
313
00:14:56,103 --> 00:14:57,021
Ovako.
314
00:14:57,104 --> 00:14:59,565
Rekao sam: "Volim crni humor ali to…
315
00:14:59,648 --> 00:15:01,358
to nije smiješno!"
316
00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:04,236
"Nije smiješno, kučko. Nije smiješno."
317
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,280
Dobila je pozitivan nalaz
318
00:15:06,363 --> 00:15:07,990
tri dana poslije.
319
00:15:08,657 --> 00:15:11,118
Rekao sam:
"Znao sam da je Izraelka. Znao sam."
320
00:15:12,202 --> 00:15:13,495
Znao sam.
321
00:15:14,496 --> 00:15:15,664
Znao sam.
322
00:15:19,668 --> 00:15:22,004
Imali su sastanak u Hollywoodu.
323
00:15:22,087 --> 00:15:25,090
Govorili su: "Ovaj Palestinac
postaje previše utjecajan."
324
00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:29,011
"Pošaljite mu ovog nedužnog gremlina
325
00:15:29,094 --> 00:15:31,221
da ga pokuša ubiti COVID-om."
326
00:15:31,805 --> 00:15:33,766
"Preživio sam, kučko! Preživio sam!"
327
00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:37,186
To je bio prvi put kad sam dobio COVID.
328
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:39,521
Drugi put,
329
00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:42,107
Dave Chappelle me opet nazvao
330
00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:43,525
i upitao: "Što radiš?"
331
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:45,569
Rekao sam: "Oporavljam se od COVID-a."
332
00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:49,740
Kaže on: "Organiziram nastupe
333
00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:52,076
u Austinu. Bit će i Joe Rogan."
334
00:15:52,159 --> 00:15:53,202
"Bit će super."
335
00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:56,956
"Pridruži se." Rekao sam: "Dave,
ne znam je li mi to baš odgovaralo
336
00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:59,124
prošli put."
337
00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:01,835
Kaže: "Bit će drugačije."
338
00:16:01,919 --> 00:16:03,462
"Testirat ćemo se svaki dan."
339
00:16:03,545 --> 00:16:06,632
"Prošli put smo svaka tri dana.
Sad ćemo svaki dan."
340
00:16:06,715 --> 00:16:07,925
"Uhvatit ćemo kučku
341
00:16:08,008 --> 00:16:09,510
i spremiti je u ormar."
342
00:16:10,427 --> 00:16:13,055
"Bit će sigurno."
Rekao sam: "Jebi ga, može."
343
00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:17,101
Nastupali smo deset dana
344
00:16:17,184 --> 00:16:19,061
i Dave mi je prišao: "Hej,
345
00:16:19,144 --> 00:16:21,021
dobio sam ovaj džoint od Jay-Z-a."
346
00:16:21,105 --> 00:16:24,274
"Molim?" Kaže on:
"Da, dobio sam džoint od Jay-Z-a."
347
00:16:24,358 --> 00:16:25,442
"Jay-Z je tu?"
348
00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:27,653
Kaže on: "Ne, stari, Jay-Z ima proizvodnju
349
00:16:27,736 --> 00:16:29,405
i poslao mi je ove džointove."
350
00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:34,201
"Hoćeš? Idemo tvojim autom
pa ćemo pušiti zajedno."
351
00:16:34,284 --> 00:16:37,204
"Čovječe, Dave Chappelle
ima Jay-Z-jev džoint,
352
00:16:37,287 --> 00:16:39,415
i pita Moa Amera, želi li to pušiti."
353
00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:41,875
"Naravno da hoću!"
354
00:16:48,757 --> 00:16:51,301
Družili smo se i zapalio je džoint.
355
00:16:51,385 --> 00:16:52,469
Trebao sam znati!
356
00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:55,931
Uzeo je dim i napravio ovo.
357
00:16:58,392 --> 00:16:59,476
"Jesi dobro, Dave?"
358
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,270
"Da, dobro sam."
359
00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:05,357
"Dobro sam. Jay-Z-jeva trava
tjera te da gumiš Jay-Z-a…"
360
00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:06,483
"To!"
361
00:17:12,614 --> 00:17:14,950
Uzeo sam džoint i povukao par dimova.
362
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,452
"To!"
363
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:18,495
Popuši to.
364
00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:20,664
Smijali smo se. Bilo je dobro.
365
00:17:20,748 --> 00:17:24,334
Onda sam odbacio Davea
30 minuta prije nastupa.
366
00:17:24,418 --> 00:17:26,795
I onda sam mu slao poruke
367
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,130
želi li da ga pokupim.
368
00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:30,549
"Ima li posebnih gostiju,
da dođem poslije?"
369
00:17:30,632 --> 00:17:32,843
Nije se javljao. Pomislio sam da je čudno.
370
00:17:32,926 --> 00:17:35,512
"Sad sam te odbacio. Ovo je čudno."
371
00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:36,805
I onda su mi prijatelji
372
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:39,266
počeli pisati. Nije im se javio tjednima.
373
00:17:39,349 --> 00:17:41,351
Pitali su je li Dave dobro.
374
00:17:41,435 --> 00:17:42,603
Rekao sam: "Dobro je."
375
00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:44,521
"Ne znaš ga, on mi je prijatelj."
376
00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:46,106
"O čemu ti pričaš?"
377
00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:47,024
"Družili smo se."
378
00:17:47,107 --> 00:17:48,525
I onda mi pošalju poveznicu.
379
00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:49,860
Pitao sam što je to.
380
00:17:49,943 --> 00:17:51,904
Otvorio sam poveznicu.
381
00:17:51,987 --> 00:17:54,364
Glavna vijest na TMZ-u:
382
00:17:54,448 --> 00:17:57,242
"Dave Chappelle pozitivan na COVID."
383
00:17:57,826 --> 00:17:59,536
Mislio sam: "To nije istina."
384
00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:01,580
A onda sam pomislio: "Sranje,
385
00:18:01,663 --> 00:18:05,084
ti smradovi s TMZ-a uvijek su u pravu."
386
00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:07,377
Pitao sam se: "Kako su znali prije mene?"
387
00:18:07,461 --> 00:18:09,379
"Sad sam odbacio Davea."
388
00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:11,632
"Nazvao je njih prije nego mene."
389
00:18:11,715 --> 00:18:13,717
"To je sjebano, stari."
390
00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:15,219
I onda je pokušao to poreći.
391
00:18:15,302 --> 00:18:16,261
Prišao sam mu:
392
00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:19,098
"Dave, sjebano je što si mi
prenio COVID drugi put."
393
00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:22,434
Kaže on: "Ne možeš to dokazati, Mo."
394
00:18:25,854 --> 00:18:30,567
Kažem ja: "Prvi dan kad si dobio
nalaz, pušio sam džoint s tobom."
395
00:18:30,651 --> 00:18:32,986
"Par minuta prije pozitivnog testa."
396
00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:35,155
Utihnuo je i zatim rekao:
397
00:18:36,573 --> 00:18:38,700
"Žao mi je što sam ti prenio COVID."
398
00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:44,790
I onda je dodao:
"Izdrži. Barem nije AIDS."
399
00:18:44,873 --> 00:18:46,542
Ovako je uokolo hodao.
400
00:18:52,756 --> 00:18:54,216
Je li gotovo?
401
00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:55,592
Je li?
402
00:19:03,934 --> 00:19:07,146
Ja sam gotov. Imao sam
to sranje dvaput. Dobro.
403
00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:09,857
Fauci: "Samo sedmero ljudi na svijetu
404
00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:11,650
zaraženo je dva--"
405
00:19:11,733 --> 00:19:12,693
Sranje!
406
00:19:12,776 --> 00:19:16,071
Poseban sam,
ali nisam baš toliko poseban, Fauci.
407
00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:18,574
Gotov sam. Imao sam ga dvaput.
408
00:19:18,657 --> 00:19:20,450
I cijepljen sam. Gotov sam.
409
00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:22,661
Gotov sam. Dobio sam Pfizerovo cjepivo.
410
00:19:22,744 --> 00:19:23,579
To želim.
411
00:19:23,662 --> 00:19:27,249
Svi imaju svoje favorite,
a ja sam odabrao Pfizer. Želim…
412
00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:30,544
Želim da mi njemački znanstvenik
smućka to, shvaćate me?
413
00:19:30,627 --> 00:19:33,881
"Yavi, kako je Pfizer? Da!"
414
00:19:34,464 --> 00:19:36,925
"Znali smo da dolazi iz Wuhana,"
415
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:39,803
"i planiramo unaprijed."
416
00:19:39,887 --> 00:19:42,055
"Da! Imamo cjepivo! Pfizer!"
417
00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:44,600
To ja želim.
418
00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:45,642
Što?
419
00:19:47,102 --> 00:19:48,103
"Yaza!"
420
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:52,149
"Dobro je, imamo Pfizer."
421
00:19:52,232 --> 00:19:55,027
"Imaš Pfizer? I ja."
422
00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:58,947
Neću Johnson & Johnson. Ne.
423
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:02,534
Ne koristim ni njihove proizvode
za svaki dan.
424
00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:07,372
Rade previše toga.
425
00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:10,876
"Što je u Johnson & Johnson?"
426
00:20:10,959 --> 00:20:12,461
"Ne znam, stari, samo smo
427
00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:15,297
počeli s malo zmijskog otrova,"
428
00:20:16,256 --> 00:20:20,761
"a onda smo dodali dječji puder
Johnson & Johnson da to malo zgusne."
429
00:20:20,844 --> 00:20:23,305
"Malo Johnson & Johnson ulja za bebe,
430
00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:25,724
da bude mekše."
431
00:20:25,807 --> 00:20:27,768
"Onda smo unutra stavili bebu."
432
00:20:27,851 --> 00:20:30,103
"Cijelu bebu."
433
00:20:30,187 --> 00:20:34,024
"Završili smo s malo divlje purice!"
434
00:20:34,107 --> 00:20:35,192
"Znate?"
435
00:20:39,112 --> 00:20:40,072
"Koliko doza?"
436
00:20:40,155 --> 00:20:42,491
"Nema doza, dodajemo se od usta do usta."
437
00:20:42,574 --> 00:20:44,785
"Samo dođi…"
438
00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:48,121
Apsurdno je.
439
00:20:48,205 --> 00:20:49,957
Tako je apsurdno.
440
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:53,293
Apsurdno je da cjepiva imaju naglaske.
441
00:20:53,377 --> 00:20:54,795
Što je Moderna?
442
00:20:54,878 --> 00:20:55,754
Što je Moderna?
443
00:20:59,299 --> 00:21:01,468
"Imaš li dernu, frende?"
444
00:21:01,551 --> 00:21:04,054
"Jedna doza i otplesat ćeš odavde."
445
00:21:04,137 --> 00:21:06,306
"Znaš što želim reći. Hajde."
446
00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:09,142
Derna.
447
00:21:17,567 --> 00:21:18,527
Jebote!
448
00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:21,071
Tako se osjećam iznutra.
449
00:21:24,491 --> 00:21:27,411
Da. Tako se osjećam.
Cijelo vrijeme. Jebote!
450
00:21:28,578 --> 00:21:30,247
Cijelo vrijeme.
451
00:21:30,330 --> 00:21:31,915
Jebote.
452
00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:37,838
I to nije dovoljno snažna
riječ, da budem iskren.
453
00:21:37,921 --> 00:21:39,214
Nije snažna.
454
00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:41,633
Kad govorite drugi jezik,
455
00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:43,218
shvatite,
456
00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:45,887
shvatite da je engleski jezik
457
00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:48,181
poput novorođenčeta.
458
00:21:48,849 --> 00:21:51,101
Da. To je nov jezik.
459
00:21:51,184 --> 00:21:53,937
Ja govorim arapski.
Arapski je drevni jezik.
460
00:21:54,604 --> 00:21:57,482
Engleski je beba. Želi odrasti
461
00:21:57,566 --> 00:22:00,152
i jednog dana postati arapski.
462
00:22:00,235 --> 00:22:01,945
To je jednostavno…
463
00:22:02,029 --> 00:22:04,239
Ne, u redu je.
464
00:22:05,615 --> 00:22:08,702
Tek je beba. Beba.
465
00:22:08,785 --> 00:22:11,330
Nedostaje mu dubine,
466
00:22:11,413 --> 00:22:13,081
jednostavno nije snažan. "Jebote"
467
00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:15,751
nije ništa. To je samo uskličnik.
468
00:22:15,834 --> 00:22:17,711
Na arapskom su čak i pozdravi
469
00:22:17,794 --> 00:22:19,629
jako dugi, znate.
470
00:22:19,713 --> 00:22:22,132
Pozdravi zvuče ovako: "Mir s tobom."
471
00:22:22,215 --> 00:22:24,092
"I s tobom također."
472
00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:26,720
"Neka milost božanska bude s tobom."
473
00:22:26,803 --> 00:22:29,264
"I s tobom također."
474
00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:31,516
"I neka svjetlost božanska bude s tobom."
475
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:33,393
"I s tobom također."
476
00:22:33,477 --> 00:22:35,729
"Neka štiti tebe i sve tvoje naraštaje--"
477
00:22:35,812 --> 00:22:38,732
"Hej, daj da uzmem cigarete i idemo."
478
00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:41,985
To je puno.
479
00:22:43,070 --> 00:22:45,322
Puno je. Na engleskom je samo "bok".
480
00:22:45,405 --> 00:22:46,865
To je to. Gotovo.
481
00:22:47,991 --> 00:22:49,076
Gotovo je.
482
00:22:49,159 --> 00:22:51,369
"Što ima? Svašta?"
483
00:22:51,453 --> 00:22:53,288
To je to. Nema ništa više.
484
00:22:54,414 --> 00:22:55,248
To je ništa.
485
00:22:59,419 --> 00:23:02,005
Kad vas netko opsuje na engleskom,
486
00:23:02,089 --> 00:23:04,466
vjerojatno biste samo otišli,
487
00:23:04,549 --> 00:23:07,177
99,9% posto vremena,
488
00:23:07,260 --> 00:23:10,097
ako niste emocionalno nabijeni.
489
00:23:10,180 --> 00:23:11,765
Staro je, ali još vrijedi.
490
00:23:11,848 --> 00:23:13,433
"Hej, jebi se!"
491
00:23:13,517 --> 00:23:14,851
"Ne želim."
492
00:23:14,935 --> 00:23:17,646
I samo odeš.
493
00:23:18,980 --> 00:23:20,524
"Hej, jebi se!"
494
00:23:20,607 --> 00:23:23,819
"Znaš što? Napet sam u zadnje vrijeme,"
495
00:23:26,738 --> 00:23:29,366
"i možda bih baš trebao."
496
00:23:31,243 --> 00:23:32,327
"Ti si mamojeb."
497
00:23:33,078 --> 00:23:34,663
"Ne svoje mame, ali…"
498
00:23:36,748 --> 00:23:39,501
"Moja bivša imala je
dijete iz prvog braka,
499
00:23:39,584 --> 00:23:41,795
pa mogu reći da jesam mamojeb."
500
00:23:41,878 --> 00:23:45,799
"Tvoj otac je tehnički najveći mamojeb."
501
00:23:47,509 --> 00:23:49,302
"Hej, ti si šupak!"
502
00:23:49,386 --> 00:23:52,097
"Oko samo sebe ne vidi."
503
00:24:02,774 --> 00:24:05,026
"Ja ne vidim kad se ponašam kao šupak
504
00:24:05,110 --> 00:24:06,736
i hvala ti što me činiš boljim."
505
00:24:06,820 --> 00:24:08,405
I samo odeš.
506
00:24:08,905 --> 00:24:12,159
"Ti si pičkica!" "Da, prihvaćam to."
507
00:24:12,242 --> 00:24:15,704
Ne znam zašto "pičkica"
uvijek znači slabost.
508
00:24:15,787 --> 00:24:19,791
Ona je metaforički i fizički vrlo snažna.
509
00:24:19,875 --> 00:24:21,251
Tako snažna!
510
00:24:23,545 --> 00:24:24,796
Istina je.
511
00:24:25,714 --> 00:24:27,382
Apsolutna istina.
512
00:24:27,465 --> 00:24:30,677
Tako je snažna. Može istisnuti bebu.
513
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:32,345
Ljudski život.
514
00:24:32,429 --> 00:24:34,306
Kilogrami ljudskog mesa
515
00:24:34,389 --> 00:24:37,809
mogu izaći iz te male rupice. Hop!
516
00:24:37,893 --> 00:24:40,687
Može i dvoje istovremeno! Hop, hop!
517
00:24:41,563 --> 00:24:43,982
Može i troje. Hop, hop, hop!
518
00:24:44,065 --> 00:24:46,818
I onda se regenerira… ovako.
519
00:24:46,902 --> 00:24:49,779
Postane skoro ista kakva je bila. Skoro.
520
00:24:49,863 --> 00:24:51,406
Skoro. Ista kakva je bila.
521
00:24:52,115 --> 00:24:56,119
Možda ako se nasmijete
ili nakašljete, upišate se, ali…
522
00:24:56,786 --> 00:24:58,705
inače je ondje.
523
00:24:59,748 --> 00:25:02,334
Ponovo spremna.
524
00:25:09,925 --> 00:25:11,259
Moj prijatelj, Chris,
525
00:25:11,343 --> 00:25:14,179
istisnuo je bubrežni
kamenac iz rupice na pimpeku.
526
00:25:14,971 --> 00:25:17,015
Skoro je umro.
527
00:25:17,098 --> 00:25:20,602
Govorio je:
"O, Bože, što mi se to događa?"
528
00:25:20,685 --> 00:25:23,521
Govorio je: "Neka me netko upuca!"
529
00:25:23,605 --> 00:25:27,317
Iz kite mu je izašlo zrnce pijeska.
530
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:29,945
A žene: "Hop! Hop!" Dobro je.
531
00:25:30,028 --> 00:25:32,322
Malo zrno pijeska…
532
00:25:33,156 --> 00:25:35,408
Ti budi kurac, ja ću radije biti pičkica.
533
00:25:43,124 --> 00:25:44,876
Arapske psovke.
534
00:25:48,463 --> 00:25:50,131
Vrlo su živopisne.
535
00:25:51,675 --> 00:25:55,262
Tako su živopisne da ih ja
ni ne koristim. Ozbiljno…
536
00:25:55,345 --> 00:25:57,389
Počet ćemo odavde i pojačavati.
537
00:25:58,723 --> 00:26:01,476
Na primjer, Kes Emak znači
538
00:26:01,559 --> 00:26:03,270
"Jebi maminu picu!"
539
00:26:05,230 --> 00:26:06,648
Vrlo precizno.
540
00:26:12,487 --> 00:26:14,239
To dižemo na višu razinu.
541
00:26:14,322 --> 00:26:17,325
Kes Emak Eli Nafadek, što znači…
542
00:26:17,409 --> 00:26:20,287
Dvoje ljudi reklo je: "Znam što to znači."
543
00:26:21,454 --> 00:26:24,207
Ostali su nestrpljivi. "Što to znači?"
544
00:26:26,084 --> 00:26:28,461
Kes Emak Eli Nafadek znači:
545
00:26:28,545 --> 00:26:31,339
"Jebi picu iz koje si izgmizao!"
546
00:26:31,423 --> 00:26:32,590
Ajme!
547
00:26:35,885 --> 00:26:37,971
Bože, oprosti mi, znam da je ludo.
548
00:26:40,932 --> 00:26:43,018
Svi su vidjeli kako je beba ispala.
549
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:45,562
To je vizualna psovka.
550
00:26:48,315 --> 00:26:51,026
Ova mi je omiljena.
551
00:26:51,109 --> 00:26:53,570
Yelaen Tarekhek, što znači,
552
00:26:54,154 --> 00:26:58,700
što znači:
"Prokleta cijela tvoja povijest."
553
00:27:06,416 --> 00:27:08,835
"Moja prabaka?" "Ne, kučko,
554
00:27:08,918 --> 00:27:10,920
od početka vremena."
555
00:27:16,885 --> 00:27:19,804
"Do dana današnjeg i svega
što je između i budućnosti,
556
00:27:19,888 --> 00:27:21,139
jebeš tvoj DNK."
557
00:27:24,726 --> 00:27:26,686
Bože mi 'prosti, ne treba mi ovo.
558
00:27:27,187 --> 00:27:28,104
To je puno.
559
00:27:28,897 --> 00:27:31,024
Čak i zapadnjačke geste
560
00:27:31,107 --> 00:27:34,235
nisu tako strašne. "Jebi se."
561
00:27:34,319 --> 00:27:37,322
U Engleskoj to je obrnuti
znak za mir. Jako zbunjujuće.
562
00:27:37,405 --> 00:27:39,657
"Odjebi."
563
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:44,662
A pokušavaju reći da je to od rata.
564
00:27:44,746 --> 00:27:45,830
"Začepi, OK?"
565
00:27:46,915 --> 00:27:48,166
"Nije tako kul."
566
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,169
Mi Arapi idemo na drugu razinu.
567
00:27:51,252 --> 00:27:54,297
Mi to radimo sa strane
i kažemo BeTizik, ovako.
568
00:27:55,423 --> 00:27:57,926
BeTizik, tako.
569
00:27:58,009 --> 00:28:00,136
BeTizik, ovako.
570
00:28:00,220 --> 00:28:01,471
Napravite zvuk…
571
00:28:01,554 --> 00:28:03,098
BeTizik, ovako.
572
00:28:03,181 --> 00:28:05,600
Malo protresite. BeTizik, ovako.
573
00:28:05,683 --> 00:28:07,435
BeTizik, tako…
574
00:28:07,519 --> 00:28:09,979
Ovo znači: "U tvoje dupe." To znači.
575
00:28:14,317 --> 00:28:18,029
Ako nije jasno, dignete drugu ruku
576
00:28:18,113 --> 00:28:20,824
i napravite BeTizik, ovako.
577
00:28:20,907 --> 00:28:22,409
I migoljite.
578
00:28:22,492 --> 00:28:25,453
Migoljite. U guzici, tako je!
579
00:28:28,415 --> 00:28:30,959
Imam osjećaj da će mnogi
odavde otići, u stilu:
580
00:28:31,042 --> 00:28:32,085
"Hej, Kyle." "Da?"
581
00:28:32,168 --> 00:28:34,129
"BeTizik, frende!"
582
00:28:40,510 --> 00:28:41,719
Jebote!
583
00:28:48,393 --> 00:28:50,687
---frende.
584
00:28:54,441 --> 00:28:56,568
Meksikanci. Volim Meksikance.
585
00:29:00,488 --> 00:29:03,283
Kad odrastate u Aliefu, ne možete…
586
00:29:04,075 --> 00:29:06,119
ne možemo. Ne možete…
587
00:29:06,202 --> 00:29:07,662
Odrastate uz Meksikance. Da.
588
00:29:07,746 --> 00:29:09,122
Zvuče kao da ih nešto boli.
589
00:29:09,205 --> 00:29:11,791
"Frende, idemo se družiti."
590
00:29:11,875 --> 00:29:15,128
"Jesi li dobro?" "Da, dobro sam."
591
00:29:15,211 --> 00:29:16,671
"Jesi li siguran?"
592
00:29:18,631 --> 00:29:22,051
Volim Meksikance. Oni su
otporan i marljiv narod.
593
00:29:22,135 --> 00:29:26,055
Sjebano je što je uopće
krenuo razgovor o izgradnji zida.
594
00:29:26,139 --> 00:29:28,683
To nikad nije upalilo
u povijesti čovječanstva.
595
00:29:28,767 --> 00:29:31,394
A ponavljate ista sranja.
596
00:29:31,478 --> 00:29:33,563
Kao prvo, to su Meksikanci.
597
00:29:33,646 --> 00:29:35,857
Najkreativniji narod koji znam…
598
00:29:36,733 --> 00:29:40,069
Toliko su kreativni
da su Palestinci vodili bilješke.
599
00:29:40,695 --> 00:29:43,198
Kad je El Chapo izašao
iz tunela na motociklu,
600
00:29:43,281 --> 00:29:45,658
rekli smo: "He, Abdallah, dođi gledati."
601
00:29:47,285 --> 00:29:49,704
"Stavio je motocikl u tunel."
602
00:29:49,788 --> 00:29:52,624
"Moramo to učiniti kod kuće.
Ya Habibi Ya Allah."
603
00:29:55,835 --> 00:29:58,671
Nećete zaustaviti
Meksikance. Neće upaliti.
604
00:29:59,547 --> 00:30:03,051
Podignite zid i oni će ziplineom
ulaziti i izlaziti iz zemlje.
605
00:30:03,134 --> 00:30:05,428
"Spreman, José, spreman sam."
606
00:30:05,512 --> 00:30:08,807
Gurni me. Idemo.
607
00:30:14,395 --> 00:30:15,855
"Je li uspio?"
608
00:30:15,939 --> 00:30:17,982
"Ne znam, frende."
609
00:30:19,108 --> 00:30:21,694
"Mislim da je promašio trampolin."
610
00:30:22,821 --> 00:30:25,532
"Zipline je zeznut."
611
00:30:26,157 --> 00:30:28,743
"Tajming je najvažniji."
612
00:30:34,499 --> 00:30:37,085
Da sam Meksikanac koji živi u Meksiku,
613
00:30:37,168 --> 00:30:38,920
okrenuo bih priču.
614
00:30:39,003 --> 00:30:39,963
Bih.
615
00:30:40,046 --> 00:30:41,422
"Znaš što, stari?"
616
00:30:41,506 --> 00:30:43,466
"Mi gradimo zid."
617
00:30:43,967 --> 00:30:47,804
"Mi gradimo zid i ne možete više
doći u Cancùn. Što kažete na to?"
618
00:30:49,305 --> 00:30:50,390
Što kažete na to?
619
00:30:52,851 --> 00:30:53,768
Tako je.
620
00:30:55,728 --> 00:30:57,438
Bjelkinje će…
621
00:30:57,522 --> 00:31:00,608
Bjelkinje diljem Amerike ronit će suze.
622
00:31:01,276 --> 00:31:03,987
"O, moj Bože!"
623
00:31:04,070 --> 00:31:07,657
"Htjela sam u Cancùn
na proljetne praznike."
624
00:31:07,740 --> 00:31:11,244
"Zašto su takvi rasisti? Ne razumijem."
625
00:31:13,121 --> 00:31:16,040
"Sad moram u Puerto Vallarta."
626
00:31:17,166 --> 00:31:20,003
To je isto u Meksiku. "O, moj Bože!"
627
00:31:23,172 --> 00:31:26,175
Volim Meksikance. Volim govoriti
s naglascima. Zabavno je.
628
00:31:26,259 --> 00:31:28,761
Možete reći: "Idemo se družiti."
629
00:31:29,679 --> 00:31:31,180
Zabavno. Njemački je zabavan.
630
00:31:31,264 --> 00:31:34,392
"Tu je baš lijepo."
631
00:31:34,475 --> 00:31:36,227
Zajebavam se s njima cijeli dan.
632
00:31:36,311 --> 00:31:38,771
Ali Rusi, s njima se ne zajebavam.
633
00:31:38,855 --> 00:31:42,317
Ne zajebavam se ni s kime
tko bi rekao ovako: "Govoriš meni?"
634
00:31:43,443 --> 00:31:45,737
"Jebeš mene i obitelj? Što si mi rekao?"
635
00:31:45,862 --> 00:31:48,740
"Dobro. Ne vjerujem ti."
636
00:31:49,490 --> 00:31:51,659
Rus u Adidasovoj trenirci. Dobro sam.
637
00:31:51,743 --> 00:31:53,620
"Što si mi rekao? Zajebavaš se?"
638
00:31:54,913 --> 00:31:56,873
"Što si rekao?" "Ništa, frende."
639
00:31:56,956 --> 00:31:58,124
"Ništa."
640
00:31:58,207 --> 00:31:59,959
Ne zajebavam se s Rusima
641
00:32:00,043 --> 00:32:02,503
niti s onima koji imaju
hrvačke ozljede po ušima.
642
00:32:03,796 --> 00:32:05,173
S njima se ne zajebavam.
643
00:32:05,757 --> 00:32:10,053
Ako tako govorite
i imate uši kao MMA borac,
644
00:32:10,136 --> 00:32:12,096
ne zajebavam se ni s vama.
645
00:32:12,764 --> 00:32:14,724
Tako sam znao da će Khabib Nurmagomedov
646
00:32:14,807 --> 00:32:18,519
biti najbolji MMA borac svih vremena.
647
00:32:19,312 --> 00:32:20,605
Svih vremena.
648
00:32:23,483 --> 00:32:26,653
Tako govori i ima takve uši.
649
00:32:26,736 --> 00:32:28,905
Neću se s tobom zajebavati, buraz.
650
00:32:28,988 --> 00:32:32,575
Ti si pravi. A to kako
govori je zastrašujuće.
651
00:32:32,659 --> 00:32:35,536
"Misliš da si pravi?
Misliš da si s ulice?"
652
00:32:35,620 --> 00:32:37,163
"Ja sam odrastao na planini."
653
00:32:37,246 --> 00:32:39,123
"Što ti to znači, buraz?"
654
00:32:40,291 --> 00:32:41,834
"Što to znači?"
655
00:32:42,335 --> 00:32:44,379
"Kako to misliš, odrastao si ondje?"
656
00:32:44,462 --> 00:32:46,172
"Što si ondje radio?"
657
00:32:46,839 --> 00:32:49,217
Govori gluposti poput: "Želiš se boriti?"
658
00:32:49,300 --> 00:32:51,260
"Promijenit ću mu lice."
659
00:32:53,888 --> 00:32:57,016
"Zar je lutka? Ne možeš to raditi."
660
00:33:00,728 --> 00:33:05,566
Ne možeš se s njim zajebavati. Tip se
hrvao s medvjedima kao osmogodišnjak.
661
00:33:05,650 --> 00:33:09,278
Možete to potražiti. Hrvao se s medvjedima
662
00:33:09,362 --> 00:33:11,572
kao osmogodišnje dijete.
663
00:33:11,656 --> 00:33:14,617
Jedini narod koji bi to
radio su Dagestanci.
664
00:33:14,701 --> 00:33:17,537
Postoje razine kad je netko Rus.
Imate obične Ruse,
665
00:33:17,620 --> 00:33:20,081
imate Čečene i imate Dagestance!
666
00:33:20,164 --> 00:33:23,084
To je druga razina i izgleda
da se hrvaju s medvjedima.
667
00:33:23,167 --> 00:33:26,587
U djetinjstvu. O čemu pričate?
668
00:33:26,671 --> 00:33:29,507
Njegov otac, počivao u miru
Božjem, bio je najbolji trener
669
00:33:29,590 --> 00:33:31,759
svih vremena.
670
00:33:31,843 --> 00:33:33,845
Kako je došlo do tog razgovora?
671
00:33:33,928 --> 00:33:36,055
Došao je do tate i rekao: "Tatice,
672
00:33:37,974 --> 00:33:39,809
"tatice, zaista želim biti šampion."
673
00:33:39,892 --> 00:33:42,812
"Tatice, molim te, treniraj me."
674
00:33:42,895 --> 00:33:44,522
"Ne, sine, nisi spreman."
675
00:33:44,605 --> 00:33:47,275
"Spreman sam. Molim te."
676
00:33:47,358 --> 00:33:49,027
"Treniraj me, tatice." "Dobro."
677
00:33:49,110 --> 00:33:50,820
"Idem po medvjeda pa da vidimo."
678
00:33:55,408 --> 00:33:58,202
Doveo je medvjeda u kuću.
Što mu je mama rekla?
679
00:33:58,286 --> 00:33:59,829
"Dušo, što radiš s medvjedom?"
680
00:33:59,912 --> 00:34:01,164
"Znam, znam."
681
00:34:01,789 --> 00:34:03,875
"Opusti se, medo."
682
00:34:04,834 --> 00:34:07,420
"Doveo sam medvjeda."
683
00:34:07,503 --> 00:34:10,548
"Medvjed će se hrvati s Khabibom."
684
00:34:10,631 --> 00:34:12,884
"Khabib će biti veliki šampion."
685
00:34:12,967 --> 00:34:16,345
"Jednom će pobijediti rasističkog
vilenjaka."
686
00:34:16,429 --> 00:34:18,723
"Spasi islam. Alhamdulillah. Hajde."
687
00:34:28,524 --> 00:34:30,359
Ne zajebavajte se s Rusima.
688
00:34:30,443 --> 00:34:32,195
Nijemce ću zajebavati cijeli dan.
689
00:34:32,278 --> 00:34:34,530
"O, da, divno je!"
690
00:34:35,073 --> 00:34:36,699
Izvodio sam to u prvom specijalu
691
00:34:36,783 --> 00:34:38,993
i mnogi su mi slali poruke
692
00:34:39,077 --> 00:34:41,954
da zvučim kao debela
gusjenica iz Života buba.
693
00:34:44,665 --> 00:34:47,001
Rekao sam: "Ne." Onda sam ga pogledao.
694
00:34:47,085 --> 00:34:49,504
"Sranje, stvarno zvučim kao ta debela…"
695
00:34:49,587 --> 00:34:53,633
"Da, pogledaj mi krila,
ja sam divan leptir."
696
00:34:55,718 --> 00:34:56,928
Što god.
697
00:35:04,644 --> 00:35:07,105
Blagoslov je to što smo skupa.
Da vam nešto kažem.
698
00:35:07,188 --> 00:35:09,065
Iskreno,
699
00:35:09,148 --> 00:35:12,026
ljut sam zbog toga
što su nam učinili. Zaista jesam.
700
00:35:12,110 --> 00:35:13,945
Strah koji su unijeli među nas.
701
00:35:14,028 --> 00:35:15,988
I podjele koje su stvorili.
702
00:35:16,072 --> 00:35:18,199
Jebeno je grozno.
703
00:35:18,282 --> 00:35:21,327
"Za koga glasaš? Crvene ili plave?"
704
00:35:21,410 --> 00:35:24,497
Član sam koje bande?
To sam čuo. To je sve što sam čuo.
705
00:35:24,580 --> 00:35:25,873
Svi ste gangsteri.
706
00:35:25,957 --> 00:35:28,459
Svi ste gangsteri. Ja sam s narodom.
707
00:35:28,543 --> 00:35:31,838
Uvijek ću biti s narodom.
Meni se sve svodi na to.
708
00:35:31,921 --> 00:35:33,464
Kad je bio uragan,
709
00:35:33,548 --> 00:35:36,008
moj susjed Scott, seljačina Scott,
710
00:35:36,092 --> 00:35:38,594
tip je najbolji. Uvijek je spreman.
711
00:35:38,678 --> 00:35:41,639
Ja nikad nisam spreman
jer znam da on jest.
712
00:35:42,557 --> 00:35:46,894
Uvijek kaže: "Da, imam generatore.
Naravno da imam generatore."
713
00:35:46,978 --> 00:35:50,231
"Ništa se ne brini, Mohammede."
714
00:35:52,066 --> 00:35:54,527
Kad mi je trebalo, spojio me.
715
00:35:54,610 --> 00:35:57,780
Priključio sam produžni kabel
na njegovu kuću i provukao ga
716
00:35:57,864 --> 00:36:01,325
cijelim putem do svoje kuće.
717
00:36:01,409 --> 00:36:04,954
O tome se radi. Pokušavaju nas
razdvojiti, ali činjenica je
718
00:36:05,037 --> 00:36:06,789
da je Mohammed u Teksasu
719
00:36:06,873 --> 00:36:09,876
i slaže se sa seljačinama.
720
00:36:11,586 --> 00:36:13,171
Jebeš to što pričate.
721
00:36:18,926 --> 00:36:20,761
Jebeš to što pričate.
722
00:36:20,845 --> 00:36:22,263
To je istina.
723
00:36:22,346 --> 00:36:25,141
Ljudi pokušavaju progurati tu neku agendu,
724
00:36:25,224 --> 00:36:26,684
a ja vjerujem u nas.
725
00:36:26,767 --> 00:36:28,686
Vjerujem u nas
726
00:36:28,769 --> 00:36:31,731
i onda putujem, idem na aerodrom
727
00:36:31,814 --> 00:36:35,401
i shvatim koliko smo podijeljeni.
728
00:36:35,484 --> 00:36:37,612
Ljudska rasa je grozna.
729
00:36:37,695 --> 00:36:39,238
Grozni smo.
730
00:36:39,322 --> 00:36:41,157
Svi smo u svojim mjehurićima.
731
00:36:41,240 --> 00:36:43,576
Nitko ne obraća pažnju na druge.
732
00:36:43,659 --> 00:36:45,953
To ćete vidjeti na aerodromu.
733
00:36:46,037 --> 00:36:48,789
Hodate i odjednom osoba
ispred vas samo stane
734
00:36:48,873 --> 00:36:50,291
i pogleda gore.
735
00:36:50,374 --> 00:36:53,044
"Što je gore?"
"Reći ću ti što je iza, kučko."
736
00:36:53,127 --> 00:36:54,795
"Tisuće ljudi
737
00:36:54,879 --> 00:36:56,714
koji žele stići do odredišta."
738
00:36:56,797 --> 00:36:58,299
"O tome se radi."
739
00:36:58,382 --> 00:37:00,009
"Koji je tebi vrag?"
740
00:37:00,092 --> 00:37:02,178
"Makni se s puta."
741
00:37:03,304 --> 00:37:04,639
Ako putujete
742
00:37:04,722 --> 00:37:08,100
s prtljagom bez kotačića,
743
00:37:08,184 --> 00:37:10,061
onda ste kreten.
744
00:37:10,144 --> 00:37:13,231
Sve vam visi s ramena. Jebeni ste kaos.
745
00:37:14,690 --> 00:37:17,235
Skidate to. "Pardon."
746
00:37:19,362 --> 00:37:22,156
Kotačići postoje. Što vam je?
747
00:37:23,199 --> 00:37:25,451
Ako imate prtljagu s dva kotačića,
748
00:37:25,534 --> 00:37:28,079
izgledate ovako. "Zdravo."
749
00:37:28,162 --> 00:37:32,250
Pogledajte koliko kvadrata
zauzimate iza sebe.
750
00:37:32,333 --> 00:37:34,752
Zašto to radite? "Bok."
751
00:37:38,839 --> 00:37:41,759
Što radite? Postoje četiri kotačića.
752
00:37:41,842 --> 00:37:43,469
Ovako izgledate s četiri kotača.
753
00:37:43,552 --> 00:37:47,807
Pametno, inteligentno ljudsko biće.
754
00:37:47,890 --> 00:37:51,143
Možete naprijed,
možete nazad na onu budalu.
755
00:37:51,227 --> 00:37:54,272
Možete izbjeći budalu i nastaviti.
756
00:37:55,398 --> 00:37:58,901
Imate bebu koju stavite
na to i nastavite dalje.
757
00:38:00,611 --> 00:38:03,990
Ali ako imate prtljagu s četiri kotača,
a koristite samo dva,
758
00:38:04,073 --> 00:38:07,285
onda ste najveći šupak od svih.
759
00:38:09,036 --> 00:38:11,289
Ne znamo ni brojeve.
760
00:38:11,372 --> 00:38:12,999
Dođemo do ulaza za ukrcavanje.
761
00:38:13,082 --> 00:38:15,334
"Ukrcavamo…"
762
00:38:15,418 --> 00:38:16,669
"Ukrcavamo grupu jedan."
763
00:38:16,752 --> 00:38:19,714
"Ja sam sedam, mogu li?"
764
00:38:19,797 --> 00:38:22,133
"Ja sam osam ako sedam ide."
765
00:38:22,216 --> 00:38:24,927
"Maknite se! Što radite?"
766
00:38:28,306 --> 00:38:30,474
Onda se ukrcate na avion
767
00:38:30,558 --> 00:38:33,811
i stižu ljudi s prtljagom bez kotačića.
768
00:38:35,313 --> 00:38:38,482
Zabijaju se u svaku drugu osobu.
769
00:38:41,235 --> 00:38:42,903
Nemaju pojma, samo idu…
770
00:38:44,447 --> 00:38:47,033
Onda idu šupci sa samo dva kotačića.
771
00:38:47,116 --> 00:38:49,076
Vuku to za sobom
772
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:51,412
i zapinju u svako drugo sjedalo.
773
00:38:51,495 --> 00:38:54,498
"Pardon, pardon."
774
00:38:54,582 --> 00:38:55,791
"Pardon."
775
00:38:55,875 --> 00:38:59,003
Okreni ga, kretenu, i gledaj kuda ideš.
776
00:39:00,212 --> 00:39:01,839
Koristi oči.
777
00:39:03,049 --> 00:39:04,717
Manevriraj.
778
00:39:09,513 --> 00:39:11,265
Izluđuje me to.
779
00:39:12,183 --> 00:39:14,769
Stjuardese, uz dužno poštovanje…
780
00:39:16,103 --> 00:39:19,148
Ja bih čekao.
781
00:39:19,231 --> 00:39:20,524
Nije dobro.
782
00:39:21,192 --> 00:39:23,152
Nikoga ne spašavate.
783
00:39:23,986 --> 00:39:26,322
Preozbiljno shvaćate svoj posao.
784
00:39:27,782 --> 00:39:29,658
Ako netko ima problem, pitate:
785
00:39:29,742 --> 00:39:31,994
"Ima li tu liječnika?
786
00:39:32,078 --> 00:39:34,246
Ja ne znam što radim. Molim vas."
787
00:39:38,042 --> 00:39:40,252
Ako imate malu torbu
788
00:39:40,336 --> 00:39:42,880
i na podu je, ajme, sranje.
789
00:39:42,963 --> 00:39:44,632
"Moramo staviti torbu
790
00:39:44,715 --> 00:39:47,510
ovdje." Dobit će napadaj. "Moramo staviti
791
00:39:47,593 --> 00:39:51,263
torbu gore. Samo za uzlijetanje.
Dobit ćete je natrag
792
00:39:51,347 --> 00:39:53,057
čim poletimo."
793
00:39:53,140 --> 00:39:54,809
"Ako ćete mi je vratiti odmah,
794
00:39:54,892 --> 00:39:56,435
čim uzletimo,
795
00:39:56,519 --> 00:39:58,437
zašto je uopće moram maknuti?"
796
00:39:58,521 --> 00:39:59,855
"Za slučaj da moramo
797
00:39:59,939 --> 00:40:03,067
hitno izaći." "Izaći ćemo iz aviona?"
798
00:40:03,150 --> 00:40:05,361
"Dok idemo 240 km/h?"
799
00:40:05,444 --> 00:40:07,071
"O čemu pričate?"
800
00:40:07,154 --> 00:40:08,906
"Ne, ne, moramo maknuti torbu."
801
00:40:09,824 --> 00:40:11,450
"Prema FA…"
802
00:40:15,162 --> 00:40:16,622
Gašenje.
803
00:40:16,705 --> 00:40:18,541
Gašenje.
804
00:40:21,585 --> 00:40:23,963
A sigurnosne objave. O, Bože.
805
00:40:24,046 --> 00:40:25,965
"Svi vežite pojaseve."
806
00:40:26,048 --> 00:40:28,050
"Jer oni će vam spasiti život."
807
00:40:28,134 --> 00:40:29,176
"Evo vam pojas
808
00:40:29,260 --> 00:40:32,096
da se s visine od 10,000 metara
809
00:40:32,179 --> 00:40:34,598
strmoglavite u sigurnu smrt. OK."
810
00:40:34,682 --> 00:40:36,183
"Na lebdeći kamen u svemiru."
811
00:40:36,267 --> 00:40:38,811
"Spasit će vas pojas." Ne.
812
00:40:38,894 --> 00:40:40,688
Samo žele da sjedite
813
00:40:40,771 --> 00:40:42,398
kad avion padne.
814
00:40:42,481 --> 00:40:45,776
Ne žele angažirati još nekoga
da vas ide tražiti.
815
00:40:45,860 --> 00:40:47,027
To je sve.
816
00:40:47,736 --> 00:40:48,988
Ne žele.
817
00:40:49,071 --> 00:40:50,781
Žele samo doći nakon pada.
818
00:40:50,865 --> 00:40:52,741
"Adams sa sjedala 3F. Evo ga."
819
00:40:54,076 --> 00:40:55,828
"Barem veći dio njega."
820
00:40:56,996 --> 00:40:57,997
To je sve što žele.
821
00:41:06,297 --> 00:41:09,133
Da zaista misle kako će
vam pojas spasiti život,
822
00:41:09,216 --> 00:41:11,635
provjerili bi svaku osobu
823
00:41:11,719 --> 00:41:13,554
kao na vožnji u lunaparku.
824
00:41:13,637 --> 00:41:17,016
Išli bi: "Dobro je, dobro je."
825
00:41:17,099 --> 00:41:19,393
"Skoro si poginuo, Ralphe!"
826
00:41:19,477 --> 00:41:20,936
"Skoro si poginuo."
827
00:41:21,604 --> 00:41:22,730
To ne rade.
828
00:41:22,813 --> 00:41:25,858
Samo prođu. "Dobro, dobro, dobro."
829
00:41:28,194 --> 00:41:30,571
Jedna se stjuardesa svađala sa mnom.
830
00:41:30,654 --> 00:41:32,281
"Što ako se prisilno spustimo
831
00:41:32,364 --> 00:41:33,908
i imamo jaku turbulenciju,
832
00:41:33,991 --> 00:41:36,035
možeš poskočiti i slomiti vrat!"
833
00:41:36,118 --> 00:41:38,496
"Ja to želim. Želim slomiti vrat."
834
00:41:38,579 --> 00:41:40,915
"Želim ovo raditi dok svi ostali
835
00:41:40,998 --> 00:41:43,375
vrište iz petnih žila. Ja želim ovo."
836
00:41:43,459 --> 00:41:46,587
Dok svi govore: "Umrijet ćemo!"
837
00:41:46,670 --> 00:41:48,631
Ja sam već mrtav. Spreman.
838
00:41:48,714 --> 00:41:51,717
Udaram kretene koji nemaju
kotačiće na prtljazi.
839
00:41:54,887 --> 00:41:55,930
To ja želim.
840
00:42:01,685 --> 00:42:03,270
Da, sjećam se.
841
00:42:03,354 --> 00:42:05,439
Ako izgubimo pritisak u kabini,
842
00:42:05,523 --> 00:42:07,816
ja idem prvi. Tko šljivi bebu.
843
00:42:10,694 --> 00:42:14,198
Maska za kisik. Ja prvi. Tko šljivi bebu.
844
00:42:14,281 --> 00:42:16,158
To nije moje pravilo. Vaše je.
845
00:42:18,035 --> 00:42:21,247
Doletio sam iz New Yorka u Houston.
846
00:42:21,330 --> 00:42:24,833
Živim ovdje, ali išli smo iz
New Yorka u Houston
847
00:42:24,917 --> 00:42:27,753
i nigdje na vidiku nema mora.
848
00:42:28,504 --> 00:42:31,090
Ali moramo slušati o pojasu za spašavanje.
849
00:42:31,173 --> 00:42:33,008
Stavite to na sebe
850
00:42:33,092 --> 00:42:34,218
i zakopčate naprijed.
851
00:42:34,301 --> 00:42:36,971
Povučete konop ovako.
852
00:42:37,054 --> 00:42:38,347
Tad će se napuhati.
853
00:42:38,430 --> 00:42:41,350
Ako se ne napuše, nemojte paničariti.
854
00:42:41,433 --> 00:42:43,727
Ovdje je slamka.
855
00:42:44,645 --> 00:42:47,523
Navodno je potreban samo jedan dah.
856
00:42:47,606 --> 00:42:49,149
Jedan čarobni dah.
857
00:42:49,233 --> 00:42:51,777
Ispada da je sve to lako…
858
00:42:51,860 --> 00:42:54,029
"Dobro ste. Svi ste dobro."
859
00:42:54,113 --> 00:42:55,948
Jesi li ikad u životu pokušala
860
00:42:56,031 --> 00:42:58,784
nešto napuhati ručno?
861
00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:02,121
Organizirao sam nećaku zabavu na bazenu
862
00:43:02,204 --> 00:43:04,748
Skoro sam umro dok nisam sve napuhao.
863
00:43:06,208 --> 00:43:08,919
Kažete mi da ćemo usred
prisilnog spuštanja raditi…
864
00:43:13,382 --> 00:43:14,383
Mrtvi.
865
00:43:15,759 --> 00:43:18,804
Bez brige, postoji drugi
i treći sloj zaštite.
866
00:43:18,887 --> 00:43:21,015
Tu je malo treperavo svjetlo.
867
00:43:21,098 --> 00:43:23,392
Nije ni svjetlo, već reflektira svjetlost.
868
00:43:23,475 --> 00:43:25,644
Veličine kovanice. Ne zezam se.
869
00:43:25,728 --> 00:43:28,564
Veličine kovanice. I zviždaljka. OK.
870
00:43:28,647 --> 00:43:33,027
U golemim, reflektivnim oceanima Zemlje,
871
00:43:33,110 --> 00:43:35,321
ovako ćemo vas naći.
872
00:43:35,404 --> 00:43:36,905
"Tu sam."
873
00:43:37,656 --> 00:43:39,575
"Tu sam."
874
00:43:39,658 --> 00:43:41,535
Niste našli malezijski avion.
875
00:43:41,619 --> 00:43:44,455
"Ono, cijeli jumbo jet."
876
00:43:50,669 --> 00:43:53,464
Ali naći ćete mene kako plutam.
877
00:43:53,547 --> 00:43:55,174
"Tu sam."
878
00:43:55,257 --> 00:43:56,300
"Tu sam."
879
00:43:56,383 --> 00:44:00,304
Upravo ste otkrili svoju lokaciju
svim morskim predatorima.
880
00:44:00,387 --> 00:44:03,223
Mrtvi ste. Kažem: "BeTizik".
881
00:44:17,988 --> 00:44:18,906
Jebote!
882
00:44:21,116 --> 00:44:25,162
Prvi se put u životu ovako osjećam.
883
00:44:25,245 --> 00:44:28,666
Ja sam izbjeglica koji je došao
u Ameriku. Danas sam državljanin.
884
00:44:28,749 --> 00:44:30,376
Ali prvi put,
885
00:44:30,459 --> 00:44:33,587
svi u Kaliforniji rugali su se Teksasu
886
00:44:33,671 --> 00:44:35,506
usred pandemije.
887
00:44:35,589 --> 00:44:37,925
"Moramo u Teksas!" Da?
888
00:44:38,008 --> 00:44:40,344
"Morate doći?" Prvi put sam to osjećao.
889
00:44:40,427 --> 00:44:43,555
"Vrati se odakle si došao, gade."
890
00:44:43,639 --> 00:44:45,766
"Kvarite nam tržište nekretnina."
891
00:44:45,849 --> 00:44:48,352
"Vratite se kući." Tako se osjećam.
892
00:44:48,435 --> 00:44:49,770
Tako se osjećam.
893
00:44:49,853 --> 00:44:53,273
Shvaćam zašto to rade. Osjećaj je dobar.
894
00:44:53,774 --> 00:44:56,151
Ja sam arapski Amerikanac. To sam ja.
895
00:44:56,235 --> 00:44:58,987
Nisam to ja učinio.
896
00:45:00,864 --> 00:45:02,658
Palestinsko-arapski Amerikanac.
897
00:45:02,741 --> 00:45:04,034
Slušajte.
898
00:45:04,785 --> 00:45:05,953
Hvala.
899
00:45:07,204 --> 00:45:09,540
Počnimo s tom zabavom. Krenimo.
900
00:45:10,541 --> 00:45:13,627
Ovako. Ne radim to radi aplauza.
901
00:45:13,710 --> 00:45:17,172
Tako se identificiram.
902
00:45:17,256 --> 00:45:20,801
Ja sam arapski Amerikanac.
To je tako ovdje u Americi.
903
00:45:20,884 --> 00:45:23,095
Ako nisi bijelac,
904
00:45:23,178 --> 00:45:25,347
imaš nešto što ide prije "Amerikanac".
905
00:45:27,141 --> 00:45:30,436
Osim ako ne kupujem
oružje. To je jedini put.
906
00:45:30,519 --> 00:45:33,147
Kad kupujete oružje
u Teksasu, prvo pitanje glasi:
907
00:45:33,230 --> 00:45:35,274
"Jeste li Hispanoamerikanac?"
908
00:45:35,357 --> 00:45:37,985
Jako rasistički. "Ne."
909
00:45:38,068 --> 00:45:40,654
Sljedeće: "Jeste li Afroamerikanac?" "Ne."
910
00:45:40,737 --> 00:45:42,656
Nema arapskog Amerikanca.
911
00:45:42,739 --> 00:45:45,576
"Znaš što? Danas sam bijelac."
912
00:45:45,659 --> 00:45:48,662
"Daj mi tu sačmaricu!"
913
00:45:51,290 --> 00:45:53,459
No u svim drugim prilikama,
914
00:45:53,542 --> 00:45:56,295
u svim drugim prilikama
ja sam arapski Amerikanac.
915
00:45:56,378 --> 00:45:59,548
Kad niste bijelac u Americi,
imate nešto prije Amerikanca.
916
00:45:59,631 --> 00:46:01,091
To je tako.
917
00:46:01,175 --> 00:46:03,302
To je jednostavno tako.
918
00:46:03,385 --> 00:46:05,429
Ako ste bijeli, onda ste samo bijeli.
919
00:46:05,512 --> 00:46:07,764
Svi ostali imaju neki dodatak.
920
00:46:07,848 --> 00:46:09,600
Čak i domoroci.
921
00:46:09,683 --> 00:46:12,519
Domaći Amerikanci. Moramo identificirati
922
00:46:12,603 --> 00:46:14,563
domaće Amerikance.
923
00:46:15,689 --> 00:46:18,317
Afroamerikanci.
Moji prijatelji nisu bili u Africi.
924
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:21,028
Ali ipak su Afroamerikanci.
925
00:46:21,945 --> 00:46:25,073
Meksički Amerikanci,
azijski Amerikanci i tako dalje.
926
00:46:25,741 --> 00:46:26,658
Ako niste bijeli.
927
00:46:26,742 --> 00:46:30,704
Ako ste bijelac, niknuli ste
iz kukuruzišta u Ohiju.
928
00:46:30,787 --> 00:46:32,789
I raširili se po ovoj divnoj zemlji.
929
00:46:32,873 --> 00:46:34,500
Osim ako nije dan sv. Patricka.
930
00:46:34,583 --> 00:46:37,503
"Moj šukundjed bio je četvrtinu Irac!"
931
00:46:47,596 --> 00:46:50,516
Ja sam arapski Amerikanac. Moram reći,
932
00:46:50,599 --> 00:46:52,476
kao arapski Amerikanac,
933
00:46:52,559 --> 00:46:55,771
fascinantno mi je vidjeti kako se
934
00:46:55,854 --> 00:46:57,272
naša kultura širi zapadom.
935
00:46:57,356 --> 00:46:59,858
Zaista je fascinantno.
936
00:47:00,526 --> 00:47:02,402
Baš je kul.
937
00:47:03,070 --> 00:47:04,571
Ako ne znate što je nargila,
938
00:47:04,655 --> 00:47:06,657
kulturno ste neobrazovani.
939
00:47:06,740 --> 00:47:08,200
Ako ne znate što je nargila.
940
00:47:08,283 --> 00:47:11,620
"Ne znaš što je nargila,
Denise? Pa gdje si bila?"
941
00:47:11,703 --> 00:47:15,749
"To je kao bong, ali nije.
942
00:47:15,832 --> 00:47:18,252
Ukrašena je i ima
943
00:47:18,335 --> 00:47:21,213
razne arome duhana.
944
00:47:21,296 --> 00:47:24,258
Imaš cijev i samo…"
945
00:47:24,925 --> 00:47:27,636
"Ispušeš. Možemo uzeti dvije cijevi
946
00:47:27,719 --> 00:47:30,764
i pućkati zajedno, Denise. O, moj Bože."
947
00:47:30,847 --> 00:47:32,891
Onda su to vidjeli bijelci. Što je super.
948
00:47:32,975 --> 00:47:36,311
Morate im to priznati.
To su destilirali u bateriju
949
00:47:36,395 --> 00:47:38,230
i stavili punjenje
950
00:47:38,313 --> 00:47:41,942
s tajanstvenom tekućinom koju
nitko ne dovodi u pitanje.
951
00:47:42,526 --> 00:47:44,278
Svi hodaju okolo…
952
00:47:50,867 --> 00:47:52,077
"Posve je zdravo."
953
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:55,622
"Stari, nikad nisam vidio da toliko
dima izlazi iz nargile!"
954
00:47:56,957 --> 00:47:58,458
"A ovo je sićušna naprava!"
955
00:47:58,542 --> 00:48:01,461
"Mijenjaš klimatske uvjete."
956
00:48:01,545 --> 00:48:03,171
"Što se događa?"
957
00:48:03,255 --> 00:48:05,257
"Ne, zdravo je."
958
00:48:07,342 --> 00:48:10,345
"Ne može biti. Ima bateriju
959
00:48:10,429 --> 00:48:12,431
spojenu na metal. Najebao si."
960
00:48:12,514 --> 00:48:13,724
"Molim te, prestani."
961
00:48:14,808 --> 00:48:17,060
To je prva javna objava.
962
00:48:18,061 --> 00:48:20,814
Druga javna objava
963
00:48:22,024 --> 00:48:25,110
nešto je što je Redd Foxx
pokušao proširiti po Americi
964
00:48:25,193 --> 00:48:27,070
početkom '70-ih.
965
00:48:27,154 --> 00:48:31,325
Rekao bih da se većina
muslimana koji žive na Zapadu
966
00:48:31,408 --> 00:48:33,452
pita zašto
967
00:48:34,620 --> 00:48:36,872
nitko ne pere guzicu. Reći ću to.
968
00:48:40,250 --> 00:48:41,543
Zaista je čudno.
969
00:48:42,252 --> 00:48:43,795
Molim vas, perite guzice.
970
00:48:43,879 --> 00:48:48,133
Čudno je što bidei nisu standard.
971
00:48:48,216 --> 00:48:51,595
Zašto je WC papir prva i jedina opcija?
972
00:48:51,678 --> 00:48:54,973
To je to. Lišće, WC papir,
973
00:48:55,057 --> 00:48:56,308
dječje maramice i voda.
974
00:48:56,391 --> 00:48:58,060
Zašto? Zašto biste to radili?
975
00:48:58,143 --> 00:49:00,437
Jasno je. Svi ližu guzice,
976
00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:03,106
a nitko ih ne pere. Suludo.
977
00:49:05,984 --> 00:49:06,985
To je suludo.
978
00:49:09,363 --> 00:49:10,781
Da se uprljate drekom,
979
00:49:10,864 --> 00:49:14,201
"Ajme, sranje." Odmah biste se oprali.
980
00:49:14,284 --> 00:49:15,786
"Sad je u redu."
981
00:49:15,869 --> 00:49:17,579
"Oprao sam drek sa sebe."
982
00:49:17,663 --> 00:49:20,457
Sve je u redu.
983
00:49:28,465 --> 00:49:31,176
Posjetio me rođak iz rodnoga kraja.
984
00:49:31,259 --> 00:49:35,180
Rekao je da želi isprobati
hotel s pet zvjezdica.
985
00:49:35,263 --> 00:49:37,099
"Naravno, uživaj."
986
00:49:37,182 --> 00:49:40,352
Učinio je to. Rekao sam mu:
"Stari, pokupit ću te
987
00:49:40,435 --> 00:49:43,397
sutra u podne u šoping centru."
Pristao je.
988
00:49:43,480 --> 00:49:45,732
Pokupio sam ga sljedećeg dana
989
00:49:45,816 --> 00:49:48,151
i vidio da je jako uzrujan.
990
00:49:48,235 --> 00:49:49,695
Pitam ga: "Što je bilo?"
991
00:49:49,778 --> 00:49:51,238
A on ovako. Pitam: "Što je?"
992
00:49:51,321 --> 00:49:53,281
Kaže on: "Allah Yoqrifhem".
993
00:49:53,365 --> 00:49:54,950
"Allah Yoqrifhem".
994
00:49:55,033 --> 00:49:56,326
"Allah Yoqrifhem".
995
00:49:56,410 --> 00:49:59,037
Kažem: "Ne zazivaj
Alaha usred šoping centra."
996
00:49:59,121 --> 00:50:01,039
"Što to radiš?"
997
00:50:01,123 --> 00:50:02,582
"Smiri se."
998
00:50:03,917 --> 00:50:06,795
"U čemu je problem?"
Kaže on: "Nemaju bide."
999
00:50:06,878 --> 00:50:10,340
"Nemaju bide! Hotel s pet zvjezdica!"
1000
00:50:10,424 --> 00:50:12,551
"Ne s jednom, dvije, tri ili četiri.
1001
00:50:12,634 --> 00:50:14,678
Hotel s pet zvjezdica! Nema bide."
1002
00:50:14,761 --> 00:50:17,931
"Svaki put kad idem na WC,
moram se otuširati."
1003
00:50:19,349 --> 00:50:22,144
"Danas sam se pet puta tuširao, Mo."
1004
00:50:25,355 --> 00:50:28,191
"Mene više brine tvoja probava, buraz."
1005
00:50:29,067 --> 00:50:31,611
"Pet sranja prije podneva? Što radiš?"
1006
00:50:32,362 --> 00:50:34,406
"Prestani jesti u IHOP-u."
1007
00:50:38,076 --> 00:50:39,369
Svratio je prijatelj Nick.
1008
00:50:39,453 --> 00:50:42,289
Obnovio sam sve zahode
nakon prvog specijala na Netflixu.
1009
00:50:42,372 --> 00:50:44,082
Japanske WC školjke.
1010
00:50:44,166 --> 00:50:46,501
I moj prijatelj Nick ulazi u kupaonicu.
1011
00:50:46,585 --> 00:50:48,378
Izlazi i kaže mi: "Hej, Mo,
1012
00:50:48,462 --> 00:50:51,923
zašto ti WC ima daljinski?"
1013
00:50:53,967 --> 00:50:57,012
Kažem ja: "Jer ima ugrađeni bide i sušilo.
1014
00:50:57,095 --> 00:50:58,263
Pita on: "Što je bide?"
1015
00:50:58,346 --> 00:51:00,599
"Ne znaš što je bide?" Kaže on: "Ne znam."
1016
00:51:00,682 --> 00:51:02,476
Kažem ja: "Iznevjerio sam te!"
1017
00:51:02,559 --> 00:51:04,102
Rekao sam…
1018
00:51:04,186 --> 00:51:05,520
Rekao sam: "Bide je,
1019
00:51:05,604 --> 00:51:07,105
kad se pokakaš,
1020
00:51:07,189 --> 00:51:11,151
prska ti vodu u guzicu i opere je."
1021
00:51:11,234 --> 00:51:12,944
Njegov odgovor bio je: "Fuj."
1022
00:51:13,028 --> 00:51:14,237
"Fuj?"
1023
00:51:14,321 --> 00:51:17,532
"Nick, ti si fuj u ovom slučaju."
1024
00:51:18,492 --> 00:51:20,118
Ulazi unutra i operi si guzicu.
1025
00:51:26,416 --> 00:51:28,835
Bio je unutra 20 minuta.
1026
00:51:28,919 --> 00:51:31,713
Izašao je kao da je kršten. Ovako…
1027
00:51:36,635 --> 00:51:40,430
Ponosno je hodao.
Novo samopouzdanje koje nikad nisam vidio.
1028
00:51:41,473 --> 00:51:43,433
Druga javna objava.
1029
00:51:44,100 --> 00:51:45,602
Treća
1030
00:51:45,685 --> 00:51:47,312
počinje s pitanjem.
1031
00:51:47,395 --> 00:51:50,315
Zamislite da je razdoblje
Drugog svjetskog rata.
1032
00:51:50,398 --> 00:51:53,735
Jako važno. Zamislite da je
razdoblje 2. svj. rata u Americi.
1033
00:51:53,819 --> 00:51:55,737
Hodam po državama:
1034
00:51:55,821 --> 00:51:58,031
hoćete li kušati sushi?"
1035
00:51:58,114 --> 00:52:00,659
Pitali bi: "Što je sushi?"
1036
00:52:00,742 --> 00:52:02,661
"Sushi je japansko jelo."
1037
00:52:02,744 --> 00:52:05,163
"Japansko!"
1038
00:52:05,247 --> 00:52:07,874
"Miči mi tu japansku hranu s očiju!"
1039
00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:10,460
Vjerojatno bi to rekli.
1040
00:52:12,003 --> 00:52:14,798
Sad zamislite da je 12. rujna
1041
00:52:15,423 --> 00:52:17,342
2001.
1042
00:52:17,425 --> 00:52:19,469
Hodam po Americi i govorim:
1043
00:52:19,553 --> 00:52:21,513
"Hoćete li probati humus?"
1044
00:52:21,596 --> 00:52:23,348
Pitali bi: "Što je humus?"
1045
00:52:23,431 --> 00:52:25,851
"Humus je arapsko jelo."
1046
00:52:25,934 --> 00:52:27,394
"Arapsko!"
1047
00:52:27,477 --> 00:52:31,189
"Miči mi tu pustinjsko-crnačku
al Qaida hranu s očiju!"
1048
00:52:32,774 --> 00:52:34,484
Vjerojatno bi to rekli.
1049
00:52:35,694 --> 00:52:38,071
Evo vrlo važnog pojašnjenja.
1050
00:52:38,154 --> 00:52:42,117
Način kako kažete "humus".
To je "h". To je "ha". Dobro?
1051
00:52:42,200 --> 00:52:44,494
Židovi, to nije humus.
1052
00:52:44,578 --> 00:52:47,289
Nije humus. Nije humus.
1053
00:52:47,372 --> 00:52:50,584
"Ghe" je drugačije slovo
u našoj abecedi, dobro?
1054
00:52:50,667 --> 00:52:53,378
U našem jeziku,
"Ghe" je potpuno drugo slovo.
1055
00:52:53,461 --> 00:52:57,007
Vi nemate "ghe" u svojem jeziku.
Dakle, očito nije vaš.
1056
00:52:57,090 --> 00:52:59,885
Odjebite. To je naš humus.
1057
00:53:01,511 --> 00:53:02,721
Odbijte.
1058
00:53:05,515 --> 00:53:06,933
Tako je kako je. Dobro.
1059
00:53:07,017 --> 00:53:08,476
A sad je humus posvuda.
1060
00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:09,853
"Želim malo humusa."
1061
00:53:09,936 --> 00:53:12,022
Posvuda neki užasni humus..
1062
00:53:12,105 --> 00:53:13,732
Kafići poslužuju humus.
1063
00:53:13,815 --> 00:53:15,400
Dućani prodaju humus.
1064
00:53:15,483 --> 00:53:18,403
Na svakoj benzinskoj, humus, humus, humus.
1065
00:53:18,486 --> 00:53:20,780
Bio sam u avionu i prišla je stjuardesa.
1066
00:53:20,864 --> 00:53:22,616
"Želite li lagani obrok?"
1067
00:53:22,699 --> 00:53:24,117
Pitao sam: "Što je to?"
1068
00:53:24,200 --> 00:53:26,119
Kaže ona: "Humus." Ja kažem: Ne, nije."
1069
00:53:26,202 --> 00:53:28,747
To je kao tetrapak za sok.
1070
00:53:28,830 --> 00:53:31,791
Otrgnete kut i dobijete čips od krumpira.
1071
00:53:31,875 --> 00:53:32,918
Istisnete ga.
1072
00:53:33,001 --> 00:53:35,629
Metaforički se posere
na cijelo moje nasljeđe.
1073
00:53:35,712 --> 00:53:37,797
"Jebeš tvoju povijest." Takav je osjećaj.
1074
00:53:37,881 --> 00:53:39,007
Takav je osjećaj.
1075
00:53:39,090 --> 00:53:41,593
"Jebeš svoju baku sa svakim sranjem
1076
00:53:41,676 --> 00:53:43,845
od humusa koje odavde izađe."
1077
00:53:43,929 --> 00:53:45,096
To nije humus.
1078
00:53:46,389 --> 00:53:48,934
Otišao sam u trgovinu
gdje je bila degustacija
1079
00:53:49,017 --> 00:53:51,686
"Hoćete li kušati čokoladni humus?"
1080
00:53:51,770 --> 00:53:54,856
"Što, jebote? Čokoladni humus."
1081
00:53:57,108 --> 00:54:00,028
Srušio sam se kao zgrada sedam.
1082
00:54:05,450 --> 00:54:07,619
Nekad moramo početi razgovarati o tome.
1083
00:54:08,787 --> 00:54:10,580
Išao sam u južnoafrički,
1084
00:54:10,664 --> 00:54:14,292
otmjeni južnoafrički restoran
dok smo snimali film u Atlanti.
1085
00:54:14,376 --> 00:54:16,753
Došao je konobar i rekao:
1086
00:54:16,836 --> 00:54:19,339
"Imamo humus od crvenog graha."
1087
00:54:19,422 --> 00:54:21,049
"Molim?"
1088
00:54:21,132 --> 00:54:23,718
"Imamo humus od crvenog graha."
1089
00:54:23,802 --> 00:54:26,221
Pitao sam: "Ima li slanutka u tome?"
1090
00:54:26,304 --> 00:54:29,474
Kaže on: "Ne. To je humus
od crvenog graha."
1091
00:54:29,557 --> 00:54:32,435
Kažem ja: "Budalo, humus znači slanutak."
1092
00:54:33,645 --> 00:54:35,939
Ovo je prženi grah.
1093
00:54:38,525 --> 00:54:41,069
Frijoles refritos, frende.
1094
00:54:42,988 --> 00:54:45,907
"Sad prodajete meksičku hranu?"
1095
00:54:45,991 --> 00:54:48,743
"Kao humus? Miči mi to s očiju!"
1096
00:54:49,786 --> 00:54:51,496
Humus je vrlo jednostavan.
1097
00:54:51,579 --> 00:54:54,666
Četiri sastojka. Nekad pet. To je sve.
1098
00:54:54,749 --> 00:54:56,459
Slanutak, tahini pasta,
1099
00:54:56,543 --> 00:54:59,337
sok od limuna, sol, nekad češnjak. OK.
1100
00:54:59,421 --> 00:55:01,965
Uzmete blender.
1101
00:55:02,048 --> 00:55:03,258
To je kao mali pokus.
1102
00:55:03,341 --> 00:55:04,551
Sve stavite i…
1103
00:55:06,136 --> 00:55:08,263
"Ne, nije dovoljno. Još tahini paste."
1104
00:55:09,347 --> 00:55:11,558
"Ne, ne, još limunova soka."
1105
00:55:12,892 --> 00:55:16,563
"Sranje, sad je previše soka.
Još slanutka, još tahini paste."
1106
00:55:17,480 --> 00:55:19,816
"Sranje. Sad je samo tahini pasta."
1107
00:55:19,899 --> 00:55:21,776
"Još limunova soka."
1108
00:55:21,860 --> 00:55:23,528
"Sranje, sad je samo limun. Sol."
1109
00:55:23,611 --> 00:55:26,322
"Slanutak i tahini pasta."
1110
00:55:26,406 --> 00:55:27,782
"Još tahini paste."
1111
00:55:28,867 --> 00:55:30,660
"O, to je savršeno."
1112
00:55:39,210 --> 00:55:42,047
Sad imate 10 kilograma humusa.
1113
00:55:45,592 --> 00:55:46,634
Hej.
1114
00:55:47,135 --> 00:55:48,762
Ovo je vrlo važno.
1115
00:55:48,845 --> 00:55:50,930
Izvadite humus i stavite u zdjelu.
1116
00:55:51,014 --> 00:55:53,016
Stavite humus u zdjelu!
1117
00:55:53,099 --> 00:55:54,934
Ne stavljate ga na plitki tanjur.
1118
00:55:55,018 --> 00:55:56,519
Nitko ne zna kako umakati
1119
00:55:56,603 --> 00:55:58,229
na plitkom tanjuru.
1120
00:55:58,313 --> 00:56:01,274
Posvuda su tragovi kao na trkaćoj stazi.
1121
00:56:01,357 --> 00:56:03,651
Humus pada uokolo.
1122
00:56:03,735 --> 00:56:05,487
Potpuni kaos.
1123
00:56:05,570 --> 00:56:08,698
Treba vam zdjela radi grabljenja.
1124
00:56:09,532 --> 00:56:11,367
Nismo još gotovi. Imate zdjelu humusa
1125
00:56:11,451 --> 00:56:12,744
i napravite mali krater.
1126
00:56:12,827 --> 00:56:16,039
Uzmete svježeg slanutka i stavite
u sredinu radi teksture.
1127
00:56:16,122 --> 00:56:19,084
Onda uzmete maslinovo ulje.
Ne ono prozirno žuto sranje.
1128
00:56:19,167 --> 00:56:20,877
Tamnozeleno maslinovo ulje.
1129
00:56:20,960 --> 00:56:22,170
"Što ću s tim?"
1130
00:56:22,253 --> 00:56:24,714
"Malo posipati za ukras?"
1131
00:56:24,798 --> 00:56:26,966
"Ne, glupačo, okreneš ga
1132
00:56:27,050 --> 00:56:28,760
i držiš. Dobro?"
1133
00:56:28,843 --> 00:56:31,471
"Jedan, dva, tri, četiri."
1134
00:56:31,554 --> 00:56:34,474
"Ako misliš da je previše,
nije dovoljno. Još."
1135
00:56:36,851 --> 00:56:37,852
OK.
1136
00:56:39,646 --> 00:56:41,773
Volim dovršiti s malo limunova soka.
1137
00:56:41,856 --> 00:56:43,733
I nasjeckanim jalapenosima.
1138
00:56:43,817 --> 00:56:45,443
Stavim ih u svaki kut.
1139
00:56:45,527 --> 00:56:46,820
Ako vam poslužim
1140
00:56:46,903 --> 00:56:49,697
ovaj autentični palestinski humus,
1141
00:56:49,781 --> 00:56:51,241
a vi uzmete mrkvu,
1142
00:56:51,324 --> 00:56:53,284
prebit ću vas.
1143
00:56:54,202 --> 00:56:57,413
"Samo ću probati. Pazim na ugljiće."
1144
00:56:57,497 --> 00:56:59,958
"Nije za tebe! Gubi se!"
1145
00:57:00,792 --> 00:57:02,669
Trebate svježi, vrući
1146
00:57:02,752 --> 00:57:04,796
pita kruh koji se još dimi.
1147
00:57:04,879 --> 00:57:06,631
Otrgnete komadić.
1148
00:57:06,714 --> 00:57:09,676
Stisnete ga. Ostane tako jer je još vruć.
1149
00:57:09,759 --> 00:57:11,052
Napravite savršen čunj
1150
00:57:11,136 --> 00:57:13,096
i kad umačete, činite to ovako…
1151
00:57:13,179 --> 00:57:15,140
Umačete prema sebi.
1152
00:57:15,223 --> 00:57:16,516
Ne prema van!
1153
00:57:16,599 --> 00:57:19,686
"Želim probati kako je s druge strane."
1154
00:57:19,769 --> 00:57:23,106
"Kretenu, to je isti
humus sa svih strana."
1155
00:57:24,065 --> 00:57:27,777
"Nitko ne želi tvoje smrdljive
prste u svojem humusu, dobro?"
1156
00:57:27,861 --> 00:57:29,612
"Ali želim probati s one strane."
1157
00:57:29,696 --> 00:57:32,949
"Stavit ću zid po sredini humusa."
1158
00:57:34,242 --> 00:57:36,035
"Ovako ću staviti zid."
1159
00:57:37,412 --> 00:57:39,456
Dobro. S one strane je humus.
1160
00:57:39,539 --> 00:57:40,999
S ove strane je humus.
1161
00:57:41,082 --> 00:57:43,543
Tražio sam rješenje s jednom zdjelom.
1162
00:57:43,626 --> 00:57:46,671
Ali ne želiš dijeliti. Kažem ti BeTizik.
1163
00:57:47,839 --> 00:57:50,258
Hvala, Houstone. Volim vas!
1164
00:57:50,341 --> 00:57:51,634
Hvala puno!
1165
00:57:57,599 --> 00:57:59,684
Sve vas volim. Sjednite.
1166
00:58:00,768 --> 00:58:02,729
Divna stvar. Divno okupljanje.
1167
00:58:02,812 --> 00:58:05,607
Sve ovo shvaćam vrlo ozbiljno.
1168
00:58:06,941 --> 00:58:08,651
Reći ću vam zašto je ovo
1169
00:58:08,735 --> 00:58:10,278
meni toliko važno.
1170
00:58:10,361 --> 00:58:12,780
Trebalo mi je 20 godina
da dobijem državljanstvo.
1171
00:58:12,864 --> 00:58:14,741
O tome sam pričao u prvom specijalu.
1172
00:58:14,824 --> 00:58:16,284
Ja sam Palestinac
1173
00:58:16,367 --> 00:58:20,413
i to je prvi put da sam
mogao ići u Palestinu.
1174
00:58:20,497 --> 00:58:22,499
jer vam ne daju.
1175
00:58:23,333 --> 00:58:26,836
Ne daju nazad iako je
1176
00:58:26,920 --> 00:58:29,130
moja majka rođena ondje, prabaka.
1177
00:58:29,214 --> 00:58:31,508
Baka, prabaka…
1178
00:58:31,591 --> 00:58:34,511
Imamo tisuću godina povijesti.
1179
00:58:34,594 --> 00:58:35,845
Još ne možemo onamo
1180
00:58:35,929 --> 00:58:38,765
dok ne dobijemo američku
putovnicu. Još je prepreka
1181
00:58:38,848 --> 00:58:40,517
kad idete onamo.
1182
00:58:40,600 --> 00:58:42,227
Kad prvi put dođete:
1183
00:58:42,310 --> 00:58:43,603
"Odakle ste?"
1184
00:58:43,686 --> 00:58:45,021
"A odakle si ti?"
1185
00:58:46,481 --> 00:58:48,399
Rekla je: "Iz Uzbekistana."
1186
00:58:50,026 --> 00:58:51,027
Teško je.
1187
00:58:53,154 --> 00:58:54,489
To je teška stvar.
1188
00:58:54,572 --> 00:58:56,658
Stalno mislite na povratak kući.
1189
00:58:56,741 --> 00:58:59,035
Mama priča o tome.
1190
00:58:59,118 --> 00:59:01,496
I moja obitelj ondje.
I želite otići vidjeti.
1191
00:59:01,579 --> 00:59:02,789
Nemojte krivo shvatiti
1192
00:59:02,872 --> 00:59:06,084
što govorim "dom". I ovo je moj dom.
1193
00:59:06,167 --> 00:59:07,293
Ovo je moja kuća.
1194
00:59:07,377 --> 00:59:10,129
Moj otac je tu pokopan.
1195
00:59:10,213 --> 00:59:11,631
Razumijete?
1196
00:59:17,720 --> 00:59:19,264
Otišli smo,
1197
00:59:19,347 --> 00:59:21,891
prvi put sam išao u Burin,
1198
00:59:21,975 --> 00:59:24,686
malo selo kraj Nablusa,
1199
00:59:24,769 --> 00:59:25,979
odakle je moja obitelj.
1200
00:59:26,813 --> 00:59:29,148
Bilo je divno. Vidio sam svoje tete.
1201
00:59:29,232 --> 00:59:30,942
Gostili smo se.
1202
00:59:31,025 --> 00:59:33,778
Ovo nisam slučajno dobio.
1203
00:59:33,861 --> 00:59:35,738
Malo domaće kuhinje.
1204
00:59:35,822 --> 00:59:38,616
Sjedio sam s tetama, gledao krajolik,
1205
00:59:38,700 --> 00:59:41,119
razmišljao o precima, o ocu,
1206
00:59:41,202 --> 00:59:42,662
o svojoj povijesti.
1207
00:59:42,745 --> 00:59:45,039
Rekao sam da moram
otići do kuće djeda i bake
1208
00:59:45,123 --> 00:59:46,416
koji više nisu s nama.
1209
00:59:46,499 --> 00:59:48,459
Rekao sam da moram do djeda i bake.
1210
00:59:48,543 --> 00:59:50,169
"Da vidim gdje je mama rođena."
1211
00:59:50,253 --> 00:59:52,046
"Molim vas, odvedite me tamo."
1212
00:59:52,130 --> 00:59:55,300
Odvele su me, sjeo sam i, naravno,
1213
00:59:55,383 --> 00:59:57,468
rasplakao sam se od sreće.
1214
00:59:57,552 --> 00:59:58,803
Toliko je toga.
1215
00:59:58,886 --> 01:00:01,097
Otišli smo na krov i gledao sam okolo.
1216
01:00:01,180 --> 01:00:04,183
Udisao sam zrak i sve upijao.
1217
01:00:04,267 --> 01:00:05,435
Vidio sam zidove.
1218
01:00:06,019 --> 01:00:09,188
Posvuda zidovi i to je tužno.
1219
01:00:09,272 --> 01:00:12,817
Jako je tužno i nadam se
da ćemo to proći jednom.
1220
01:00:12,900 --> 01:00:15,987
Ali gledam selo. Fokusiran sam na selo.
1221
01:00:16,070 --> 01:00:18,448
I vidim džamiju usred sela.
1222
01:00:18,531 --> 01:00:19,949
Pogledao sam bratića:
1223
01:00:20,033 --> 01:00:21,826
"Koliko je ta džamija ondje?"
1224
01:00:22,410 --> 01:00:24,871
"Stotinama godina. Dugo."
1225
01:00:24,954 --> 01:00:26,873
"Moram se ići pomoliti tamo."
1226
01:00:26,956 --> 01:00:28,750
"Moram se ići pomoliti jer se
1227
01:00:28,833 --> 01:00:30,585
moj otac molio ondje, moj djed."
1228
01:00:30,668 --> 01:00:32,712
"Moj pradjed. Moram se pomoliti."
1229
01:00:32,795 --> 01:00:33,630
Kaže on: "Idemo."
1230
01:00:33,713 --> 01:00:36,424
Išli smo i molio sam. Meditirao sam.
1231
01:00:36,507 --> 01:00:40,428
Rekao sam: "Tako je lijepo
iskusiti ovo. Nevjerojatno je."
1232
01:00:40,511 --> 01:00:43,431
I onda su petorica tipova
1233
01:00:43,514 --> 01:00:45,516
pogledala na sat i rekla: "Hej,
1234
01:00:45,600 --> 01:00:48,227
vrijeme je za Maghrib molitve." "Za što?"
1235
01:00:48,311 --> 01:00:52,023
Rekao je: "Sad ćemo pozvati na molitvu."
1236
01:00:52,106 --> 01:00:55,860
"Neću ja zvati, tek sam stigao."
1237
01:00:56,653 --> 01:00:59,697
Kažu oni: "Ali imaš bradu." "Ne i vi!"
1238
01:00:59,781 --> 01:01:02,575
"Samo sam debeo. Ne želim
da mi gledaju podbradak."
1239
01:01:03,242 --> 01:01:05,036
Onda je rekao: "Ne, moraš pozvati."
1240
01:01:05,119 --> 01:01:08,164
"Sad je vrijeme
i moraš pozvati na molitvu."
1241
01:01:08,247 --> 01:01:10,083
"Neću ja zvati na molitvu."
1242
01:01:10,166 --> 01:01:11,834
"Moraš zvati na molitvu."
1243
01:01:11,918 --> 01:01:13,127
"Ne znaš poziv?"
1244
01:01:13,211 --> 01:01:14,879
"Naravno da znam poziv."
1245
01:01:14,962 --> 01:01:17,173
Ali morao sam govoriti u taj mikrofon.
1246
01:01:17,256 --> 01:01:18,341
Sićušni mikrofon.
1247
01:01:18,424 --> 01:01:20,176
"Za cijelo selo?"
1248
01:01:20,259 --> 01:01:21,886
"Nastupam pred tisućama ljudi,
1249
01:01:21,969 --> 01:01:25,098
ali ovo je veliki stres.
Bojim se pogriješiti."
1250
01:01:25,181 --> 01:01:28,393
"Tu su religijske implikacije."
1251
01:01:28,476 --> 01:01:29,811
Rekli su da moram.
1252
01:01:29,894 --> 01:01:31,562
"Dobro, učinit ću to!"
1253
01:01:31,646 --> 01:01:32,897
Prišao sam
1254
01:01:32,980 --> 01:01:35,108
i rekao: "Bratiću,
budi tu jer sam nervozan.
1255
01:01:35,191 --> 01:01:36,734
Pazi da ne zeznem."
1256
01:01:37,819 --> 01:01:39,278
Pozvao sam na molitvu.
1257
01:01:39,946 --> 01:01:41,489
Diljem cijelog sela.
1258
01:01:41,572 --> 01:01:44,992
Proželo me. "Bože, ovo je divno."
1259
01:01:45,076 --> 01:01:47,286
"Što je ovo napisano za mene?"
1260
01:01:47,370 --> 01:01:48,913
"Ne mogu vjerovati!"
1261
01:01:48,996 --> 01:01:51,040
Baš dok sam razmišljao o tome,
1262
01:01:51,124 --> 01:01:53,334
čovjek je upao u džamiju.
1263
01:01:53,418 --> 01:01:55,670
"Tko je pozvao na molitvu?"
1264
01:01:55,753 --> 01:01:57,088
Svi su me izdali.
1265
01:01:57,171 --> 01:01:59,340
"Ovaj. On je zvao na molitvu."
1266
01:02:01,050 --> 01:02:02,301
"On je zvao na molitvu."
1267
01:02:02,385 --> 01:02:04,262
"Zaboravite sve.
1268
01:02:04,345 --> 01:02:06,222
Vi ste me prisilili!"
1269
01:02:06,305 --> 01:02:07,432
Pitao je zašto.
1270
01:02:07,515 --> 01:02:09,809
"Sad sam rekao. Prisilili su me."
1271
01:02:09,892 --> 01:02:12,729
Kaže on: "Uranio si deset minuta."
1272
01:02:12,812 --> 01:02:14,731
"Uranio si deset minuta."
1273
01:02:14,814 --> 01:02:17,734
"Sat svijetli, piše da je vrijeme."
1274
01:02:17,817 --> 01:02:19,736
"Taj sat ide 10 minuta naprijed."
1275
01:02:19,819 --> 01:02:20,862
"Nisam to znao."
1276
01:02:20,945 --> 01:02:22,613
Digitalni sat. Stisnite gumbe
1277
01:02:22,697 --> 01:02:24,699
i sve će se popraviti.
1278
01:02:24,782 --> 01:02:26,367
"Da to ja učinim?"
1279
01:02:26,451 --> 01:02:28,202
Kaže on: "Čekaj, čekaj."
1280
01:02:28,286 --> 01:02:30,121
"U selu sam cijeli život."
1281
01:02:30,204 --> 01:02:31,748
"Poznajem sve u selu."
1282
01:02:31,831 --> 01:02:34,125
"Tko si ti? Nisam te nikad vidio."
1283
01:02:34,208 --> 01:02:35,376
"Tko ti je otac?"
1284
01:02:35,460 --> 01:02:36,627
Rekao sam mu.
1285
01:02:36,711 --> 01:02:38,463
Kaže on: "O, moj Bože."
1286
01:02:39,172 --> 01:02:40,631
Kaže: "O, moj Bože."
1287
01:02:40,715 --> 01:02:41,716
"Otac je Mustafa?"
1288
01:02:42,341 --> 01:02:44,594
"Da, moj otac je Mustafa."
1289
01:02:45,261 --> 01:02:49,223
"Znaš li tko je instalirao
ozvučenje u džamiji?"
1290
01:02:49,307 --> 01:02:50,933
"Tvoj otac."
1291
01:03:03,946 --> 01:03:05,740
To je zaista bila najljepša stvar
1292
01:03:05,823 --> 01:03:07,658
koju sam u životu iskusio.
1293
01:03:07,742 --> 01:03:09,243
Morao sam vam to ispričati.
1294
01:03:09,327 --> 01:03:11,746
Samo zato što sam Palestinac
1295
01:03:11,829 --> 01:03:13,873
i što sam prisiljen živjeti gdje jesam,
1296
01:03:13,956 --> 01:03:16,000
to nije tako. Houston
1297
01:03:16,083 --> 01:03:18,127
je grad koji me je odgojio.
1298
01:03:18,211 --> 01:03:21,255
A sad je Netflix brend koji me plaća.
1299
01:03:21,339 --> 01:03:22,590
Sve vas volim.
1300
01:03:24,050 --> 01:03:26,302
Hvala puno, Houstone, volim vas.
1301
01:03:44,987 --> 01:03:50,326
POSVEĆENO MUSTAFI AMERU, 1938.-1995.
1302
01:04:01,212 --> 01:04:03,714
16. rujna 2021.
1303
01:04:03,798 --> 01:04:07,176
Mohammed Mo Amer
dobit će priznanje za svoj rad
1304
01:04:07,260 --> 01:04:10,263
koji i dalje nadahnjuje, ohrabruje i,
naravno
1305
01:04:10,346 --> 01:04:12,890
nasmijava ljude dok pruža
1306
01:04:12,974 --> 01:04:15,518
jedinstven i vrijedan poticaj
1307
01:04:15,601 --> 01:04:17,979
arapskim Amerikancima i ostalim izvođačima
1308
01:04:18,062 --> 01:04:19,939
iz podzastupljenih zajednica.
1309
01:04:20,022 --> 01:04:21,357
Zato ja…
1310
01:04:21,440 --> 01:04:23,651
Zato ja, Sylvester Turner,
1311
01:04:23,734 --> 01:04:25,403
gradonačelnik Houstona,
1312
01:04:25,486 --> 01:04:27,697
ponosno proglašavam ovaj dan,
1313
01:04:27,780 --> 01:04:30,533
16. rujna 2021.,
1314
01:04:30,616 --> 01:04:35,037
danom Mohammeda Moa Amera
u gradu Houstonu.
1315
01:04:44,046 --> 01:04:45,923
Prijevod titlova: Mirna Jelečanin