1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:01:01,124 --> 00:01:03,291 Kasper, are you ready? 4 00:01:03,374 --> 00:01:05,582 Yep, I'm ready. 5 00:01:07,499 --> 00:01:10,624 So life is something like this: 6 00:01:11,207 --> 00:01:12,874 You're born. 7 00:01:12,999 --> 00:01:14,666 You grow older. 8 00:01:14,749 --> 00:01:16,541 You get friends. 9 00:01:21,166 --> 00:01:22,541 Kasper, are you ill? 10 00:01:23,791 --> 00:01:25,832 And without noticing, - 11 00:01:25,916 --> 00:01:28,499 - you probably slowly, but surely - 12 00:01:28,541 --> 00:01:30,541 - are starting to realize what you'll be when you grow up. 13 00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:33,124 Thank you very much, you're a doll. 14 00:01:43,624 --> 00:01:45,832 Oslo Spektrum! 15 00:01:45,916 --> 00:01:47,499 Wow! 16 00:01:47,541 --> 00:01:49,666 One day, that will be you. 17 00:01:52,291 --> 00:01:54,041 No, don't...! 18 00:01:55,124 --> 00:01:58,707 ...as a teenager sex was only about jerking off. 19 00:01:59,707 --> 00:02:04,499 At school, you were looking everywhere for places to hide so you could jerk off. 20 00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:07,124 Any random rub could cause a boner. 21 00:02:11,124 --> 00:02:12,832 Erik? 22 00:02:12,916 --> 00:02:15,082 -One day. 23 00:02:15,166 --> 00:02:17,124 One day. 24 00:02:21,332 --> 00:02:22,624 Kasper? 25 00:02:22,707 --> 00:02:27,374 -You're shaking again. -No, I'm in complete control. It's fine. 26 00:02:29,916 --> 00:02:33,374 It's June 6., 1944. D-day, Normandy. 27 00:02:33,457 --> 00:02:36,082 It's dangerous, but you've got the best jokes. 28 00:02:36,166 --> 00:02:39,041 Now go out there and slaughter them! 29 00:02:49,291 --> 00:02:53,249 There's a lot of debate about sexual identity these days. 30 00:02:53,332 --> 00:02:55,749 It's a bit exciting, because at one point in time - 31 00:02:55,832 --> 00:03:00,249 - I too felt a bit like a man caught in a woman's body. 32 00:03:00,332 --> 00:03:02,499 And then I was born. 33 00:03:07,791 --> 00:03:09,916 Kasper, I'm your agent - 34 00:03:10,041 --> 00:03:13,499 - and I've decided that we from now on are only drinking those. 35 00:03:13,791 --> 00:03:17,874 Now I've got a woman and I actually think it's us for life. 36 00:03:17,999 --> 00:03:20,749 The only snag is that she don't hear well - 37 00:03:20,832 --> 00:03:22,374 - so the few times I make her come - 38 00:03:22,457 --> 00:03:24,999 - it sounds like Chewbacca from Star Wars. 39 00:03:29,791 --> 00:03:31,332 There's no key. 40 00:03:31,416 --> 00:03:36,416 And all the time you're thinking: Any day now they'll realize I don't know how to do this. 41 00:03:36,499 --> 00:03:39,207 Orlando, this is Kasper Berntsen! 42 00:03:39,291 --> 00:03:42,541 You fear that you'll get figured out at any moment. 43 00:03:42,624 --> 00:03:47,291 The first time I kissed a girl was in kindergarten. 44 00:03:47,374 --> 00:03:49,916 And it was hot! Hot! 45 00:03:50,041 --> 00:03:53,499 Her name was Aina, by the way. She was a very very sweet girl. 46 00:03:53,541 --> 00:03:56,541 But a horrible kindergarten teacher. 47 00:03:57,666 --> 00:04:00,082 You get older, too. 48 00:04:00,166 --> 00:04:02,874 More experience, but less hungry. 49 00:04:02,999 --> 00:04:06,082 You stop paying attention, become more of a pessimist. 50 00:04:06,166 --> 00:04:09,499 And you realize that no matter how low you've come, - 51 00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:12,874 - it can always become a little more fucked up. 52 00:04:21,166 --> 00:04:23,291 Kasper, you're on now! 53 00:04:29,749 --> 00:04:32,041 Ladies and gentlement, give a good round of applause for - 54 00:04:32,124 --> 00:04:34,082 - Kasper Berntsen! 55 00:04:35,374 --> 00:04:38,291 Anybody from Ski here? 56 00:04:38,374 --> 00:04:41,166 -You guys? Where in Ski? -Langhus. 57 00:04:41,249 --> 00:04:44,832 So cool. My ex is from Langhus. Horrible woman. 58 00:04:44,916 --> 00:04:46,999 Only advantage was that she was deaf. 59 00:04:47,082 --> 00:04:49,291 The few times I made her come - 60 00:04:49,374 --> 00:04:53,374 - it sounded like Chewbacca from Star Wars. 61 00:04:54,499 --> 00:04:56,916 It's the same over and over. 62 00:04:57,041 --> 00:04:59,041 Are you ok? 63 00:04:59,124 --> 00:05:01,041 What are you talking about? 64 00:05:01,124 --> 00:05:03,166 -Nothing. -No? 65 00:05:03,249 --> 00:05:06,041 You're ruining the show for everybody around you. 66 00:05:06,124 --> 00:05:10,207 I don't think it's me ruining this show. 67 00:05:10,291 --> 00:05:13,999 -And who are you bringing along...? -"My carer". 68 00:05:14,082 --> 00:05:15,416 Heard that one too? 69 00:05:15,499 --> 00:05:19,457 You've been a nice audience. Thank you. 70 00:05:19,499 --> 00:05:21,916 Ladies and gentlemen, a round of applause for - 71 00:05:22,041 --> 00:05:23,916 - Marlene Stavrum! 72 00:05:27,666 --> 00:05:30,916 That's not a great sign, is it? 73 00:05:31,041 --> 00:05:34,082 You're a comedian and people aren't laughing. 74 00:05:35,999 --> 00:05:40,082 Kasper, we'll pull you off that summer show. 75 00:05:42,124 --> 00:05:44,999 -Does Andrea know? -She decided it. 76 00:05:45,082 --> 00:05:49,041 What did she say? "He won't go on stage before he's got some new material." 77 00:05:49,124 --> 00:05:54,374 You let Andrea know that I've declined a lot of other gigs because of this. 78 00:05:54,457 --> 00:05:57,457 And we've got a contract, so that's unfortunate for you. 79 00:05:57,499 --> 00:06:00,207 Yeah, we've got options, though. 80 00:06:01,707 --> 00:06:04,999 But we do need... opening acts. 81 00:06:05,082 --> 00:06:07,416 I'm not fucking opening. 82 00:06:07,499 --> 00:06:12,457 -Sorry, my hearing's off, I didn't get you? -I'm not opening! 83 00:06:12,499 --> 00:06:15,124 Then you aren't. 84 00:06:15,207 --> 00:06:17,832 We'll let somebody else do it. 85 00:06:18,832 --> 00:06:20,749 I'm messing with you. 86 00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:25,082 -Of course I will open. -Opening? 87 00:06:25,166 --> 00:06:28,041 That's war. Total war! 88 00:06:28,124 --> 00:06:32,874 Do they think I'm Chamberlain? Are they completely stupid? 89 00:06:32,999 --> 00:06:36,916 When somebody's messing with my clients, things get messy. 90 00:06:37,041 --> 00:06:39,416 I'll start a fucking jihad. 91 00:06:39,499 --> 00:06:42,541 Erik Elisabeth, you're the agent. You will handle this. 92 00:06:42,624 --> 00:06:46,291 Forget Andrea! What's in now, is Netflix. 93 00:06:46,374 --> 00:06:49,249 We'll be on Tiktok, we'll be everywhere! 94 00:06:49,332 --> 00:06:52,416 This is Normandy. Operation fucking Overlord. 95 00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:54,124 You feel the boil... 96 00:06:55,207 --> 00:06:56,707 -Hi. - Kasper? 97 00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:59,582 Yes. Been awhile. 98 00:06:59,666 --> 00:07:03,291 -How are you doing? -Shoulder is killing me still. 99 00:07:03,374 --> 00:07:06,416 We took some blood last time. 100 00:07:06,499 --> 00:07:08,624 I'm terrified of needles. 101 00:07:08,707 --> 00:07:11,249 Only reason I'm not doing heroin. 102 00:07:11,332 --> 00:07:12,999 Kasper... 103 00:07:13,082 --> 00:07:16,582 The tests we did showed a significantly elevated PSA-level. 104 00:07:16,666 --> 00:07:18,832 So I wanted you to do an MRI. 105 00:07:19,291 --> 00:07:21,499 Judging by the other tests - 106 00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:24,166 - it doesn't look too great. 107 00:07:24,249 --> 00:07:28,416 I'm afraid it's worse than a spinal prolapse. 108 00:07:29,707 --> 00:07:32,374 Cancerous changes in the bones. 109 00:07:32,457 --> 00:07:33,832 Look. 110 00:07:34,457 --> 00:07:38,249 These red numbers indicate that things aren't looking too good. 111 00:07:38,332 --> 00:07:41,707 Next step will be a biopsy, - 112 00:07:41,791 --> 00:07:43,916 - confirm the diagnosis... - sette en diagnose ... 113 00:07:44,332 --> 00:07:46,582 You'll get some - 114 00:07:48,249 --> 00:07:52,874 - brochures about the various treatment options. 115 00:07:52,999 --> 00:07:56,332 If you have any questions, feel free to ask at any time. 116 00:07:57,832 --> 00:07:59,582 Any questions? 117 00:08:00,332 --> 00:08:04,707 I thought I saw a sign back at the desk regarding refund of travel expenses? 118 00:08:10,166 --> 00:08:12,291 Kasper Berntsen? 119 00:08:40,332 --> 00:08:42,291 Hi, honey. 120 00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:54,124 Hey? 121 00:08:58,207 --> 00:09:01,082 -We need to talk a little. -Ok. 122 00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:04,332 You might want to sit down. 123 00:09:14,916 --> 00:09:16,832 You know what, just... 124 00:09:17,499 --> 00:09:20,457 I just want to say thank you. 125 00:09:20,499 --> 00:09:22,499 For taking the initiative - 126 00:09:22,541 --> 00:09:26,166 - to have this... conversation. 127 00:09:26,249 --> 00:09:29,707 I've thought about it quite a bit, but just haven't... 128 00:09:29,791 --> 00:09:34,124 I haven't quite known how to say it, so... 129 00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:36,249 Say...? 130 00:09:36,332 --> 00:09:39,166 Well we aren't happy, right? 131 00:09:39,249 --> 00:09:41,582 I can tell you are not happy. 132 00:09:41,666 --> 00:09:46,332 I'm at least not happy, to put it that way, so... 133 00:09:47,499 --> 00:09:48,874 So...? 134 00:09:48,999 --> 00:09:50,582 Let's end it. 135 00:09:52,291 --> 00:09:54,082 Break up. 136 00:10:42,374 --> 00:10:45,291 This will be ok, Erik Elisabeth. 137 00:10:46,374 --> 00:10:48,207 No it won't. 138 00:10:48,291 --> 00:10:51,749 I liked Monica so much. She was always good to me. 139 00:10:51,832 --> 00:10:54,874 -She liked and accepted me. -Well this is about you. 140 00:10:54,999 --> 00:10:58,582 I know I should console you, but breakups hit me so hard. 141 00:10:58,666 --> 00:11:01,499 And things aren't so great for me these days. 142 00:11:01,582 --> 00:11:04,249 That is unfortunate, because I have some other bad... 143 00:11:04,332 --> 00:11:08,166 Nina is on vacation in Portugal with her mom and her trophy husband. 144 00:11:08,249 --> 00:11:10,457 We were going to Facetime. 145 00:11:10,499 --> 00:11:13,124 -I've been to the doctor. -First she doesn't answer. 146 00:11:13,207 --> 00:11:16,124 And next time she hangs up. When I try again... 147 00:11:16,207 --> 00:11:18,374 The doctor says I've got cancer. 148 00:11:18,457 --> 00:11:22,207 Ha-ha. Then, it's just voice, no camera. 149 00:11:22,291 --> 00:11:24,291 She doesn't want to talk to her father. 150 00:11:24,374 --> 00:11:27,082 Her mom is behind all this. 151 00:11:27,166 --> 00:11:30,916 She has never accepted the journey I've taken. 152 00:11:31,041 --> 00:11:33,916 -I've got a ton of cancer in my body. -Stop saying cancer! 153 00:11:34,041 --> 00:11:37,791 -It isn't funny. -No, it isn't. 154 00:11:41,541 --> 00:11:43,291 No! 155 00:11:44,291 --> 00:11:46,041 Kasper! 156 00:11:58,499 --> 00:12:01,166 Hey, it will be ok. 157 00:12:02,249 --> 00:12:04,166 Well it won't. 158 00:12:04,249 --> 00:12:06,041 It will. 159 00:12:19,499 --> 00:12:21,707 Life's like this: 160 00:12:22,707 --> 00:12:25,249 Sometimes everything is just - 161 00:12:25,332 --> 00:12:26,791 - horrible. 162 00:12:27,832 --> 00:12:30,332 But don't take it personal. 163 00:12:30,999 --> 00:12:33,416 Life isn't against you. 164 00:12:33,832 --> 00:12:36,166 You're not that special. 165 00:12:43,332 --> 00:12:47,791 Oh, oh, oh. Your primary tumor is in the shoulder joint. 166 00:12:47,874 --> 00:12:50,457 That is pretty rare. 167 00:12:50,499 --> 00:12:53,624 There's a tumor here, here and here, and there, yeah. 168 00:12:53,707 --> 00:12:55,541 As if the cancer's got cancer. 169 00:12:55,624 --> 00:12:59,832 As it happens treatment has come far in this area. 170 00:12:59,916 --> 00:13:03,541 Yes, exactly. You're a specialist, too? You're a doctor? 171 00:13:03,624 --> 00:13:05,416 No, I'm his agent. 172 00:13:05,499 --> 00:13:09,791 Or manager I suppose is more correct. You can say both manager and agent. 173 00:13:09,874 --> 00:13:13,249 -What is the difference? -The agent handles contracts. 174 00:13:13,332 --> 00:13:16,207 The manager handles the practical. 175 00:13:16,291 --> 00:13:18,749 But we have chosen this model. 176 00:13:18,832 --> 00:13:21,374 We've been best friends since childhood. 177 00:13:21,457 --> 00:13:24,791 I was 8, from up north. He took such good care of me. 178 00:13:24,874 --> 00:13:27,874 And I've taken care of you. But that's perhaps irrelevant... 179 00:13:27,999 --> 00:13:30,499 Perhaps a bit irrelevant now. 180 00:13:30,582 --> 00:13:32,416 No, there was a lot of good there. 181 00:13:32,499 --> 00:13:34,916 But just briefly back to the cancer. 182 00:13:35,041 --> 00:13:38,416 Now things are starting to move quickly, so it's important to pay attention. 183 00:13:38,499 --> 00:13:42,499 We'll start with a full workup and treatment asap. 184 00:13:42,582 --> 00:13:44,916 First and foremost with chemo. 185 00:13:45,041 --> 00:13:50,457 Yeah, and remember to turn in some sperm, because you will most likely become infertile. 186 00:13:51,707 --> 00:13:55,582 Now you've been doing chemo for awhile - 187 00:13:55,666 --> 00:13:58,999 - and that is a major burden on the body. 188 00:13:59,082 --> 00:14:01,666 It's common to become depressed. 189 00:14:01,749 --> 00:14:06,041 Both due to the illness and from the chemo. 190 00:14:06,124 --> 00:14:09,999 It could be good to have somebody to talk to. I've got some brochures. 191 00:14:10,082 --> 00:14:13,457 We offer, er.. group therapy. 192 00:14:13,499 --> 00:14:18,291 -That sounds very good. -I'm not going to group therapy, Erik. 193 00:14:18,374 --> 00:14:21,541 -That's completely out of the question. -It will be ok. 194 00:14:22,041 --> 00:14:23,541 Where are we going? 195 00:14:24,791 --> 00:14:28,791 You agree that it is weird to blab about your problems? 196 00:14:28,874 --> 00:14:30,707 No. Here it is. 197 00:14:32,916 --> 00:14:38,541 Just as I thought. A lot of dying people supporting other dying people. 198 00:14:38,624 --> 00:14:40,499 Kasper Berntsen? 199 00:14:41,374 --> 00:14:43,791 Why does she know my name, Erik? 200 00:14:43,874 --> 00:14:45,707 Because I signed you up. 201 00:14:45,791 --> 00:14:48,707 The agreement was that we were just gonna look. 202 00:14:48,791 --> 00:14:52,832 I'm sorry, but we're here now. Go in and give it a shot. 203 00:14:52,916 --> 00:14:55,832 I am Selma. We've been looking forward to meeting you. 204 00:14:55,916 --> 00:14:58,874 Ok, I'll get you eight thirty. Great. 205 00:15:01,124 --> 00:15:02,832 Welcome, Kasper. 206 00:15:02,916 --> 00:15:06,207 Would you tell us a bit about yourself? 207 00:15:07,207 --> 00:15:10,999 -I'll skip that, if that's ok. -Yeah. 208 00:15:11,832 --> 00:15:15,332 Just open up when you feel like it. That is ok. 209 00:15:15,416 --> 00:15:19,874 Are there anybody else who wants to share something with the group today? 210 00:15:22,332 --> 00:15:27,457 Khalid, I'm feeling that perhaps today is the day where you open up. 211 00:15:27,499 --> 00:15:29,207 Khalid never says anything. 212 00:15:29,291 --> 00:15:32,082 -No, relax. -But last time... 213 00:15:32,166 --> 00:15:34,166 I recognize you now. 214 00:15:34,249 --> 00:15:36,082 Sorry, Khalid. 215 00:15:36,166 --> 00:15:38,624 You're a comedian, aren't you? 216 00:15:38,707 --> 00:15:42,041 -Yes. -Won't you tell us a joke? 217 00:15:43,707 --> 00:15:45,082 No. 218 00:15:45,166 --> 00:15:47,791 -I think we all will enjoy... -Maria, be nice. 219 00:15:47,874 --> 00:15:50,666 Can't he tell a joke? He's really funny. 220 00:15:50,749 --> 00:15:54,291 We're here because we're human, not because of what our job is. 221 00:15:54,374 --> 00:15:56,707 So if Kasper does not want to... 222 00:15:56,791 --> 00:15:59,874 It's got nothing to do with wanting to. 223 00:15:59,999 --> 00:16:01,791 I don't tell jokes. 224 00:16:01,874 --> 00:16:04,499 A joke is "two tomatoes cross a road". 225 00:16:04,541 --> 00:16:07,916 Standup is more an observation of things, hopefully with a funny twist. 226 00:16:08,041 --> 00:16:10,374 Ok, then I'm wrong. Sorry. 227 00:16:10,457 --> 00:16:13,832 Am I wrong if... Don't you define a joke as - 228 00:16:13,916 --> 00:16:18,291 - characters associated with a comically recognizable premise. 229 00:16:18,374 --> 00:16:20,874 If you get upset about an observation - 230 00:16:20,999 --> 00:16:24,874 - of the security check at the airport, - 231 00:16:24,999 --> 00:16:27,624 - you are a character in a comically recognizable premise. 232 00:16:27,707 --> 00:16:30,124 You're really just taking the tomato's place. 233 00:16:30,207 --> 00:16:32,124 -Ergo: joke. -That's enough. 234 00:16:32,207 --> 00:16:36,249 I heard you in a podcast once, and there you told a joke. 235 00:16:36,332 --> 00:16:38,499 Sorry, an observation. 236 00:16:38,582 --> 00:16:41,041 It would've been good for this group. 237 00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:45,916 -I don't know what you're talking about. -What did you say? 238 00:16:46,041 --> 00:16:49,874 The positive thing about women with cancer removing their breasts, - 239 00:16:49,999 --> 00:16:52,707 - is that they'll swim faster. 240 00:16:52,791 --> 00:16:54,374 No, Maria. 241 00:16:54,457 --> 00:16:56,332 Hey, Maria ... 242 00:16:57,499 --> 00:16:59,916 There she went and that... is ok. 243 00:17:00,041 --> 00:17:04,541 As I tend to say: When one door closes, another opens. 244 00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:06,457 So that... 245 00:17:06,999 --> 00:17:09,791 We were talking about ambitions when you arrived. 246 00:17:09,874 --> 00:17:12,624 And how crucial it is to have ambitions. 247 00:17:12,707 --> 00:17:15,416 And that it's only us who - 248 00:17:15,499 --> 00:17:18,332 - are blocking the path for us. Take Sebastian. 249 00:17:18,416 --> 00:17:20,832 He was very negative towards starting doing ceramic pots. 250 00:17:20,916 --> 00:17:24,082 Who's having a solo exhibition now? 251 00:17:24,166 --> 00:17:26,041 That is me, as a matter of fact! 252 00:17:26,124 --> 00:17:29,291 -You coming? -Thank you very much. 253 00:17:30,374 --> 00:17:33,916 Do you know the worst thing about getting this illness? 254 00:17:34,041 --> 00:17:37,457 People stop being funny around you. 255 00:17:39,249 --> 00:17:41,666 Don't you stop doing that, then. 256 00:18:38,249 --> 00:18:42,707 Are you gonna go, or stand there stretching like a fucking idiot? 257 00:18:47,999 --> 00:18:50,749 I don't think you should smoke that pot stuff. 258 00:18:50,832 --> 00:18:53,791 Why not? Will I get cancer? 259 00:18:53,874 --> 00:18:58,791 You shouldn't smoke pot because you'll become such a god damn bitch. 260 00:18:58,874 --> 00:19:03,416 Perhaps you should try something else. Ecstacy, heroin or weed. 261 00:19:03,499 --> 00:19:05,207 You're welcome. 262 00:19:07,291 --> 00:19:08,874 Have a good night. 263 00:19:45,249 --> 00:19:48,082 Where the hell have you been? I've been scared to death! 264 00:19:48,166 --> 00:19:53,124 You were gone when I was gonna pick you up. It's two in the morning! 265 00:19:56,041 --> 00:19:57,874 It's not funny. I was scared spitless! 266 00:19:57,999 --> 00:20:01,374 So fucking bad that you've been scared! 267 00:20:01,457 --> 00:20:07,207 I'm very sorry! This is about you after all. I sometimes forget. 268 00:20:16,874 --> 00:20:19,499 -Sorry, Erik. -No, don't worry about it. 269 00:20:36,791 --> 00:20:38,166 Blue? 270 00:20:38,249 --> 00:20:41,416 -That was nice. -Grey. 271 00:20:41,499 --> 00:20:44,416 Like your mood. No, not that. 272 00:20:45,124 --> 00:20:49,707 How are things between you and your daughter these days, really? 273 00:20:49,791 --> 00:20:55,457 She doesn't have time to talk to her father. Apparently there's a lot to do. 274 00:20:55,499 --> 00:20:59,624 -You're on tonight, right? -Yeah. Opener, or something. 275 00:20:59,707 --> 00:21:03,874 -How did we end up here? -Is that what you will talk about? 276 00:21:03,999 --> 00:21:06,582 No, that's not what I will talk about. 277 00:21:06,666 --> 00:21:11,999 -That would be ok, publicity-wise... -Erik, no. I do not plan to. 278 00:21:12,332 --> 00:21:14,082 -There we have it. -No 279 00:21:14,166 --> 00:21:15,499 Yes. 280 00:21:15,541 --> 00:21:20,874 Thank you very much, my name is Jonis Josef. Hope you'll have a very, very good time! 281 00:21:24,124 --> 00:21:27,124 Jonis Josef, ladies and gentlemen! 282 00:21:27,207 --> 00:21:29,666 Are there any couples in the audience? 283 00:21:29,749 --> 00:21:31,874 You're a couple, yes! 284 00:21:31,999 --> 00:21:34,624 Here's Olav Thon with his wife. 285 00:21:35,291 --> 00:21:38,832 -How long have you been married? -We're actually on a date. 286 00:21:38,916 --> 00:21:41,457 -You're on a date? -Yeah. 287 00:21:42,207 --> 00:21:46,124 You're doing the dating thing, even at your age? 288 00:21:46,207 --> 00:21:48,541 You know that we'll die one day. 289 00:21:48,624 --> 00:21:51,749 And all the other days we'll live. 290 00:22:02,832 --> 00:22:04,666 Yeah, that's.. 291 00:22:07,124 --> 00:22:09,207 That was very... 292 00:22:11,999 --> 00:22:13,499 That was very nice. 293 00:22:13,582 --> 00:22:16,916 Ok, let's see. Yeah, I was thinking about this thing with... 294 00:22:17,916 --> 00:22:20,207 With Tinder, so... 295 00:22:21,041 --> 00:22:23,999 Because in Germany they have... 296 00:22:24,374 --> 00:22:26,791 They've made such an... 297 00:22:29,624 --> 00:22:31,666 App. 298 00:22:32,832 --> 00:22:35,041 For... 299 00:22:35,124 --> 00:22:38,624 Put one word after the next, and you'll get there. 300 00:22:38,707 --> 00:22:40,624 Yeah, I... 301 00:22:46,124 --> 00:22:48,791 Is there a speech therapist in the audience? 302 00:22:48,874 --> 00:22:54,082 Hey, go to the bar and I'll give you a free beer if you shut up. 303 00:22:54,166 --> 00:22:57,166 -I only drink champagne. -You'll have a glass of champagne. 304 00:22:57,249 --> 00:22:59,374 A bottle? 305 00:23:01,582 --> 00:23:03,999 I'm not really in the mood today, buddy. 306 00:23:04,082 --> 00:23:06,666 Oh, it's that time of the month? 307 00:23:06,749 --> 00:23:08,416 But the thing is... 308 00:23:08,499 --> 00:23:10,624 I've got a tampon here. 309 00:23:10,707 --> 00:23:14,874 I think I'll take that as a good way to end it here. 310 00:23:14,999 --> 00:23:17,499 We'll have a new comedian on stage. 311 00:23:27,207 --> 00:23:31,916 Sometimes, when everything is rock bottom and you think that things can't possibly get worse, - 312 00:23:32,041 --> 00:23:34,332 - you meet somebody like you. 313 00:23:34,416 --> 00:23:35,832 Congratulations, buddy. 314 00:23:35,916 --> 00:23:38,749 You're worse than chemo. 315 00:23:42,832 --> 00:23:47,291 You go to the doctor, and are worried whether you've put on clean socks. 316 00:23:47,374 --> 00:23:49,791 Very soon you stop thinking about that. 317 00:23:49,874 --> 00:23:52,124 My mom had cancer. 318 00:24:01,416 --> 00:24:05,041 The audience is a bit like the cells in the body. 319 00:24:05,124 --> 00:24:07,874 Most are kind and good. 320 00:24:07,999 --> 00:24:11,207 Then there are some that are kinda mean, but mostly manage to behave anyway. 321 00:24:11,291 --> 00:24:14,874 And then you just need one single malignant asshole - 322 00:24:14,999 --> 00:24:17,541 - to ruin it for the whole lot. 323 00:24:17,624 --> 00:24:19,874 And I'll have to remove you, - 324 00:24:19,999 --> 00:24:24,541 - otherwise we risk full contamination here! 325 00:24:25,124 --> 00:24:28,582 He managed... You managed to make my day even worse! 326 00:24:28,666 --> 00:24:30,916 That is really incredibly well done. 327 00:24:31,041 --> 00:24:34,999 You've managed to top human tragedy with irritation. 328 00:24:35,082 --> 00:24:38,416 It's like the Biedermann family in Sachsenhausen in 1943. 329 00:24:38,499 --> 00:24:41,499 They've been carrying anvils all day, had nothing to eat, - 330 00:24:41,541 --> 00:24:46,999 - dragging themselves back to the barracks at night to get a few hours sleep... 331 00:24:47,082 --> 00:24:50,832 And then there's crumbs in the bed. You are those crumbs! 332 00:24:52,374 --> 00:24:55,541 -You're making an ass of yourself. -You're doing it for free. 333 00:24:55,624 --> 00:24:57,791 You said that your mother had cancer? 334 00:24:57,874 --> 00:25:00,332 She must have survived, since her tumor sits there. 335 00:25:00,457 --> 00:25:03,166 Normally I'd knocked out people who talked to me like that. 336 00:25:03,249 --> 00:25:06,832 Normally I'm positive to copulation between cousins. 337 00:25:06,916 --> 00:25:11,166 -Now you're talking about my wife. -Your cousin? Are you going to a family reunion? 338 00:25:11,249 --> 00:25:15,749 Or as it is called in your family: Gang bang. 339 00:25:15,832 --> 00:25:17,499 That is not my cousin! 340 00:25:19,166 --> 00:25:21,374 -Come, then! -You missed by a yard. 341 00:25:21,457 --> 00:25:26,416 That is what inbreeding does to your fine motor skills. 342 00:25:27,291 --> 00:25:30,124 That's the strangest opener ever. 343 00:25:30,207 --> 00:25:34,582 But we'll have another comedian on stage. Here is Marlene... 344 00:25:35,499 --> 00:25:36,832 Ok. 345 00:25:36,916 --> 00:25:40,541 People with cancer are many things, but they are not a resource. 346 00:25:40,624 --> 00:25:41,999 "Move, move!" 347 00:25:53,332 --> 00:25:57,999 Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Kasper Berntsen. Thank you very much! 348 00:25:59,916 --> 00:26:01,374 Hi! 349 00:26:01,457 --> 00:26:03,207 Oh my god. Are you ok? 350 00:26:03,291 --> 00:26:06,707 That was one for the history books. 351 00:26:06,791 --> 00:26:10,457 Move on. Drinks on me, for first and last time in my life. 352 00:26:28,832 --> 00:26:30,791 Ow! No, just kidding. 353 00:26:32,666 --> 00:26:36,041 Don't cut me. I can't have cuts. 354 00:26:56,999 --> 00:27:01,499 Now be good and eat. I just got to go. 355 00:27:03,124 --> 00:27:05,041 -Enjoy. -Ok. 356 00:27:07,499 --> 00:27:11,374 I was just gonna say that Andrea watched your show yesterday. 357 00:27:11,457 --> 00:27:14,291 And she thinks it was great. 358 00:27:14,916 --> 00:27:16,791 -Awesome. -So cool 359 00:27:16,874 --> 00:27:19,916 Put together a show with that theme, - 360 00:27:20,041 --> 00:27:22,416 - we would have been interested. 361 00:27:22,499 --> 00:27:25,207 Like a summer show with a twist. 362 00:27:25,291 --> 00:27:31,374 A summer show with a twist is something you'd be interested in then? 363 00:27:31,457 --> 00:27:35,124 Been kinda..assymetric warfare lately. 364 00:27:35,207 --> 00:27:36,832 Bit "Night of the Long Knives". 365 00:27:36,916 --> 00:27:41,624 We have of course noticed, so nice that you're here with a white flag. 366 00:27:41,707 --> 00:27:45,707 But I've got a lot to do, and Kasper is a bit under the weather. 367 00:27:45,791 --> 00:27:51,624 So perhaps we'll just contact you if needed? 368 00:27:54,832 --> 00:27:56,832 That was... nice. 369 00:27:56,916 --> 00:27:59,124 Yeah, wasn't it? 370 00:28:03,207 --> 00:28:05,916 That's fantastic. Awesome! 371 00:28:06,041 --> 00:28:09,166 -Genious. -I don't think that's an option. 372 00:28:09,249 --> 00:28:11,707 -Why not? -Erik Elisabeth. 373 00:28:11,791 --> 00:28:17,582 When I say something is out of the question, it's out of the question. No point arguing. 374 00:28:19,791 --> 00:28:22,166 But you could consider it. 375 00:28:36,874 --> 00:28:39,499 Hey! 376 00:28:41,916 --> 00:28:46,332 -Oh my god, I don't know what to say. -Well, look at me, then. 377 00:28:47,082 --> 00:28:48,582 Want to feel? 378 00:28:48,666 --> 00:28:51,124 Ow! Not there, fucks sake! Naw. 379 00:28:51,207 --> 00:28:54,082 -Want me to take your backpack? -Yes please. 380 00:28:54,166 --> 00:28:57,582 So, really learnt kiting now? 381 00:28:58,582 --> 00:29:02,582 Must be fun slipping around. Slip away. 382 00:29:02,666 --> 00:29:06,499 Your dad is becoming a bible teacher now. 383 00:29:06,582 --> 00:29:10,291 "And it came to pass in those days that Josef and Maria slipped around Bethlehem. 384 00:29:10,374 --> 00:29:14,374 "But there was no room in any swag hostels, so..." 385 00:29:14,457 --> 00:29:19,124 "Thankfully there was a crunk disciple who let them in" 386 00:29:19,207 --> 00:29:22,541 -Then they slipped baby Jesus out of... -Fuck off with the slipping! 387 00:29:22,624 --> 00:29:24,707 Here. 388 00:29:26,416 --> 00:29:29,624 I'm gonna scoot. Talk later, miss. 389 00:29:29,707 --> 00:29:32,749 -I'll drive you -There's no room for me. 390 00:29:32,832 --> 00:29:35,624 -You can sit in front. -You've got a lot to talk about. 391 00:29:35,707 --> 00:29:38,041 -Please? -I'll take the railway. 392 00:29:38,124 --> 00:29:42,416 -So I can slip a bit on the rails. -Oh my god, you're so funny. 393 00:29:55,499 --> 00:30:00,207 And here I thought this would be a pleasant trip on rails. 394 00:30:03,582 --> 00:30:05,499 Yeah, hey, same. 395 00:30:08,707 --> 00:30:11,624 Not bad, that stuff you gave me. 396 00:30:11,707 --> 00:30:14,249 -It was not...? -Not bad. 397 00:30:14,332 --> 00:30:19,416 -No idea what you're talking about. -Marijuana. The drugs I got from you. 398 00:30:24,791 --> 00:30:29,166 Doesn't really seem like it's had any significant effect. 399 00:30:29,999 --> 00:30:31,832 You'll have to give me some more then. 400 00:30:32,666 --> 00:30:34,499 Do you have more? 401 00:30:38,457 --> 00:30:40,207 What have you got, then? 402 00:30:41,041 --> 00:30:44,999 -Sarcoma. -Soft tissue or bone? 403 00:30:45,624 --> 00:30:47,457 Bone. 404 00:30:47,999 --> 00:30:50,916 Chondrosarcoma, osteosarcoma, - 405 00:30:51,041 --> 00:30:52,791 - Ewing? 406 00:30:52,874 --> 00:30:54,791 Yep, it's Ewing. 407 00:30:55,874 --> 00:30:57,874 Much pain? 408 00:30:57,999 --> 00:30:59,832 Yeah, some. 409 00:30:59,916 --> 00:31:01,499 Spread? 410 00:31:02,166 --> 00:31:03,916 -To the lungs? -No. 411 00:31:04,041 --> 00:31:05,791 Then you're good. 412 00:31:06,416 --> 00:31:07,874 Me, it started in my breasts, spread to... 413 00:31:07,999 --> 00:31:10,499 Now's the time to say hello, or? 414 00:31:10,541 --> 00:31:13,082 I'm really starving. 415 00:31:13,166 --> 00:31:14,916 Kasper Berntsen. 416 00:31:15,041 --> 00:31:16,916 Maria Toulabi. 417 00:31:18,749 --> 00:31:22,332 Or "god damn fucking bitch". 418 00:31:24,874 --> 00:31:26,874 Coming? 419 00:31:26,999 --> 00:31:29,082 Yeah, allright. 420 00:32:26,291 --> 00:32:27,916 Oi. 421 00:32:28,916 --> 00:32:30,707 Yeah... 422 00:32:32,124 --> 00:32:34,041 You don't have something like this one. 423 00:32:35,499 --> 00:32:38,582 I don't have something like that one. I should get one. 424 00:32:38,666 --> 00:32:41,832 One simply does not get a christmas sweater. 425 00:32:41,916 --> 00:32:45,041 It's like a samurai sword. It has to choose you. 426 00:32:45,124 --> 00:32:47,791 And you can't have something with Jesus on it. 427 00:32:47,874 --> 00:32:51,499 I'm more of a dinosaur. Me and Jesus aren't very compatible. 428 00:32:51,541 --> 00:32:55,124 By the way I do a pretty good imitation of a dinosaur. 429 00:33:11,541 --> 00:33:14,874 I don't know if it's the greatest. 430 00:33:16,666 --> 00:33:19,749 And I've seen quite a few. 431 00:33:28,499 --> 00:33:31,749 What was your thoughts when you received your diagnosis? 432 00:33:36,249 --> 00:33:40,582 Would you like to hear something that's both sad and pathetic at once? 433 00:33:42,207 --> 00:33:45,457 -No, can't say I do. -Huh? 434 00:33:45,499 --> 00:33:47,499 Well, now you have to say. 435 00:33:48,291 --> 00:33:52,499 What I was thinking when I was diagnosed and my girlfriend dumped me... 436 00:33:52,541 --> 00:33:55,832 -I'm not saying this to get your sympathy. -No worries. 437 00:33:55,916 --> 00:33:57,874 It was just... 438 00:33:59,749 --> 00:34:01,749 If I die now, - 439 00:34:01,832 --> 00:34:06,832 - I'll die without having heard another human being say that they love me. 440 00:34:08,291 --> 00:34:12,707 Shit, that is pretty sad and pathetic at the same time. 441 00:34:12,791 --> 00:34:16,374 Oh my god, you're such a loser! 442 00:34:18,374 --> 00:34:21,457 And what makes it even more so, is - 443 00:34:21,499 --> 00:34:25,332 - that I've told it to two different people. 444 00:34:26,332 --> 00:34:30,666 -Once in french. -Ah, I can't listen to this any more. 445 00:34:31,707 --> 00:34:33,457 But hey? 446 00:34:33,916 --> 00:34:36,291 You've got a telescope. 447 00:34:41,249 --> 00:34:45,874 Can you really see anything when there's so much light in town? 448 00:34:51,332 --> 00:34:55,999 It was something left over from the previous owners. 449 00:34:56,082 --> 00:34:57,791 Oh yeah. 450 00:34:58,582 --> 00:35:00,791 All these pictures too? 451 00:35:01,624 --> 00:35:03,999 -No, that's mine. -Yeah. 452 00:35:11,291 --> 00:35:13,249 That's cool, though. 453 00:35:14,874 --> 00:35:17,707 Why do you think nobody have said it? 454 00:35:17,791 --> 00:35:20,999 It's not something I've thought a lot about. 455 00:35:21,082 --> 00:35:24,041 It was really mostly because you asked. 456 00:35:24,124 --> 00:35:26,166 Should I take the trash? 457 00:35:26,249 --> 00:35:28,416 Yeah, if you wouldn't mind. 458 00:35:33,624 --> 00:35:37,749 Do you think perhaps it's the thought of loving somebody who loves you - 459 00:35:37,832 --> 00:35:40,291 - that is the problem? 460 00:35:40,374 --> 00:35:42,166 -The thought of... -You're thinking: 461 00:35:42,249 --> 00:35:45,041 "Surely nobody can love this." 462 00:35:45,124 --> 00:35:48,707 "Have some dignity and standards. I'm a bad and hollow person." 463 00:35:48,791 --> 00:35:52,832 And then you don't dare letting anybody in to see who you really are. 464 00:35:52,916 --> 00:35:58,041 And that way you don't give anybody the chance to... 465 00:35:59,374 --> 00:36:01,624 Yeah, anyway. Do you recall where? 466 00:36:01,707 --> 00:36:05,332 You remember when we came in over at the right there? 467 00:36:09,499 --> 00:36:10,999 Ok. 468 00:36:11,082 --> 00:36:14,499 -Thanks for the smoothie. -My pleasure. 469 00:36:48,499 --> 00:36:50,041 Kasper! 470 00:36:50,124 --> 00:36:55,082 -Didn't think we'd get to see you again. -Didn't think so either. 471 00:36:56,499 --> 00:36:58,041 Hey. 472 00:36:58,124 --> 00:36:59,999 How are you? 473 00:37:00,082 --> 00:37:02,332 -Oh, I'm good. -Great. 474 00:37:02,416 --> 00:37:05,207 You're braver thank you know, stronger thank you think - 475 00:37:05,291 --> 00:37:07,499 - and wiser than you understand. 476 00:37:09,416 --> 00:37:11,416 Good foundation to have - 477 00:37:11,499 --> 00:37:15,291 - when you suddenly need to find some extra courage. 478 00:37:15,374 --> 00:37:19,124 -I feel that I'm dreading it. -What are you dreading? 479 00:37:19,207 --> 00:37:23,207 There are hospital regulations that say that... 480 00:37:24,749 --> 00:37:28,999 When you turn 18, you're moved to the adult section. 481 00:37:29,082 --> 00:37:33,332 -And there's only old people. -It's important to think positive. 482 00:37:33,416 --> 00:37:35,291 Because there are incredibly many - 483 00:37:35,374 --> 00:37:39,249 - great, elder people. Warm individuals. 484 00:37:39,374 --> 00:37:42,707 I just don't think it's any cool. 485 00:37:42,791 --> 00:37:44,249 You know what, Anja? 486 00:37:44,332 --> 00:37:48,457 I think it'll be a much better experience than you think. 487 00:37:48,499 --> 00:37:52,499 -There's a saying... -Why do you think it will be better? 488 00:37:52,582 --> 00:37:54,582 It's like this: "The optimist..." 489 00:37:54,666 --> 00:37:56,124 I'm sorry. 490 00:37:56,207 --> 00:38:00,166 Total respect for your work, but... 491 00:38:00,249 --> 00:38:02,999 I think you're saying strange stuff now. 492 00:38:03,082 --> 00:38:05,374 -What were you thinking about? -Well, that... 493 00:38:05,457 --> 00:38:07,916 This is a relationship lab. 494 00:38:08,041 --> 00:38:11,457 Is there anything you want to say to Anja, Kasper? 495 00:38:14,124 --> 00:38:16,249 Shit, I'm glad I'm not you. 496 00:38:16,332 --> 00:38:18,666 Shit, I'm glad I'm not her! 497 00:38:18,749 --> 00:38:22,624 You're 17 and you live in a hospital. 498 00:38:22,707 --> 00:38:26,457 I'd have stolen all the medicine I could find - 499 00:38:26,499 --> 00:38:28,874 - and swallowed it with medial alcohol. 500 00:38:28,999 --> 00:38:32,041 -That's enough. -You can't smooth over everything here! 501 00:38:32,124 --> 00:38:36,041 It's good to have a positive attitude and life quotes on the walls, - 502 00:38:36,124 --> 00:38:37,916 - but you take nothing seriously. 503 00:38:38,041 --> 00:38:44,082 You and Anja and the lot have something in common, so you understand each other. That's good. 504 00:38:44,166 --> 00:38:45,874 But it doesn't mean that you know... 505 00:38:45,999 --> 00:38:51,457 I think I know a whole lot about what a girl in her situation feels. 506 00:38:51,499 --> 00:38:53,499 -Ok? -Yeah, I think Anja - 507 00:38:53,582 --> 00:38:58,499 - is stuck in that fucking hospital and see her friends plan exam parties - 508 00:38:58,582 --> 00:39:02,374 - and work hard to include her as much as possible, - 509 00:39:02,457 --> 00:39:04,499 - until she feels only like a burden. 510 00:39:04,582 --> 00:39:09,541 So you stop responding to invitations to cover parties you won't attend. 511 00:39:09,624 --> 00:39:14,166 And in your darkest moments you fantasize about the party bus burning up - 512 00:39:14,249 --> 00:39:17,499 - so all the other girls were crippled... 513 00:39:17,541 --> 00:39:20,582 And that's enough. This isn't suitable. 514 00:39:20,666 --> 00:39:23,249 This isn't what a 17 year old should feel. 515 00:39:23,332 --> 00:39:26,499 She should worry whether she can get a false ID, - 516 00:39:26,582 --> 00:39:30,332 - or if she's got an STD because she blew a bosnian Foodora-courier. 517 00:39:30,416 --> 00:39:34,207 And I think perhaps Anja thinks that there are nobody - 518 00:39:34,291 --> 00:39:36,499 - in the whole world who knows how you're doing. 519 00:39:36,582 --> 00:39:39,374 You're all alone in the nightmare you're in. 520 00:39:39,457 --> 00:39:42,666 You deserve to hear that your life fucking sucks. 521 00:39:42,749 --> 00:39:46,874 That it's such fucking bullshit and... 522 00:39:49,999 --> 00:39:51,749 Perhaps we needed that. 523 00:39:51,832 --> 00:39:54,832 It is so great that we've got this room where we can - 524 00:39:54,916 --> 00:39:58,041 - just throw out anything we want to. 525 00:39:58,124 --> 00:40:02,249 Now we'll perform an exercise called the incredible hat. 526 00:40:04,124 --> 00:40:07,666 Perhaps...Khalid would like to start? 527 00:40:07,749 --> 00:40:13,291 I'll give you a hat, and in the hat you can put something you look forward to. 528 00:40:13,582 --> 00:40:16,207 And I get so happy when Vålerenga win. 529 00:40:16,291 --> 00:40:18,666 Every once in awhile. Yeah. 530 00:40:20,249 --> 00:40:21,791 Thank you. Great! 531 00:40:21,874 --> 00:40:24,874 Then it's in the hat. Supert, Ingar. 532 00:40:25,457 --> 00:40:28,249 Sara? There you are. 533 00:40:30,499 --> 00:40:32,666 I can't really think of anything. 534 00:40:32,749 --> 00:40:35,041 Come on. Anything at all. 535 00:40:35,916 --> 00:40:37,291 Hullo! 536 00:40:37,374 --> 00:40:44,041 I can't speak to people I don't know without a bit of alcohol in my bloodstream. 537 00:40:44,124 --> 00:40:46,666 I've bought a couple of bottles of white. 538 00:40:46,749 --> 00:40:48,749 What are you doing now? 539 00:40:48,832 --> 00:40:50,874 White wine. Would you like a glass, Sara? 540 00:40:50,999 --> 00:40:53,499 -No, she's not... -Selma! 541 00:40:53,541 --> 00:40:56,249 Selma, please, would you just... 542 00:40:56,332 --> 00:40:58,457 -Sara, give me that glass. -Absolutely not! 543 00:40:58,499 --> 00:41:01,666 Are you aware that there are people here - 544 00:41:01,749 --> 00:41:03,707 - who will have a fit if... 545 00:41:03,791 --> 00:41:06,749 She is 17! You are 17, Anja. 546 00:41:06,832 --> 00:41:11,624 It's actually illegal. This is completely unacceptable! 547 00:41:16,582 --> 00:41:17,916 Cheers. 548 00:41:26,207 --> 00:41:31,166 Could we gather up a bit? We're so far from each other. 549 00:41:34,624 --> 00:41:36,874 -Cheers, guys! -Cheers! 550 00:41:39,874 --> 00:41:43,541 This disease has quite a lot of drawbacks, - 551 00:41:43,624 --> 00:41:47,291 - but people listen a bit more and treat you a lot better. 552 00:41:47,374 --> 00:41:50,041 People treat you as if you were made of glass. 553 00:41:50,457 --> 00:41:53,332 Why don't we use it a lot more? 554 00:41:53,416 --> 00:41:57,541 Imagine all we can do without getting caught, because we've got cancer! 555 00:41:57,624 --> 00:42:02,416 Many of you probably have fantasies or desires you wouldn't say out loud. 556 00:42:02,499 --> 00:42:04,124 Anja, for instance. 557 00:42:04,207 --> 00:42:09,582 Don't you have any dreams you would like to fullfill? Rob a bank or... 558 00:42:18,499 --> 00:42:22,249 Khalid, you probably have some sick stuff you wish to do before you go? 559 00:42:22,332 --> 00:42:24,749 Khaled doesn't really enjoy talking. 560 00:42:24,832 --> 00:42:28,541 -Khalid, now it's just us here. -Ok. 561 00:42:28,624 --> 00:42:30,499 I've always wanted to - 562 00:42:30,582 --> 00:42:32,582 - try ecstasy. 563 00:42:34,124 --> 00:42:37,874 Yeah, I was offered once at a conference. 564 00:42:37,999 --> 00:42:42,499 I had to say no. I was scared to death that my wife would find out. 565 00:42:43,416 --> 00:42:47,332 Yeah, I also have something I've thought long about. 566 00:42:47,416 --> 00:42:52,249 I haven't thought about it for awhile, but the thing I really want to do - 567 00:42:52,332 --> 00:42:55,124 - is to go to the house of my ex husband, - 568 00:42:55,207 --> 00:42:58,791 - light it up, and let it burn to the ground. 569 00:42:58,874 --> 00:43:03,124 Ideally with his 20 years younger wife inside. 570 00:43:03,207 --> 00:43:06,707 -I didn't know you'd been married. -For 32 years. 571 00:43:06,791 --> 00:43:08,624 Then he left me. 572 00:43:08,707 --> 00:43:11,499 And I laid there with a bag on my belly, - 573 00:43:11,582 --> 00:43:14,791 - no rectum, and parched mucous membranes. 574 00:43:14,874 --> 00:43:18,499 Parched mucous membranes? What is that? 575 00:43:18,541 --> 00:43:22,207 -My pussy became dry as a cracker. -Sorry! 576 00:43:22,291 --> 00:43:27,499 No matter. It's a bit squeaky, but it's still usable. 577 00:43:30,624 --> 00:43:32,166 Cheers to it, then! 578 00:43:34,124 --> 00:43:36,624 There's one thing I've wanted to do - 579 00:43:36,707 --> 00:43:39,457 - since the first time I came here. 580 00:43:41,124 --> 00:43:42,916 Life's like this: 581 00:43:43,582 --> 00:43:47,374 You have to be respectful and listen to those with experience. 582 00:43:49,082 --> 00:43:51,791 And now and then just don't give a damn. 583 00:43:52,416 --> 00:43:54,624 -About anything. -Ready, set, go! 584 00:44:20,499 --> 00:44:22,041 You are so right. 585 00:44:22,124 --> 00:44:26,124 They have strained to include me in the exam hubbub and -parties. 586 00:44:26,207 --> 00:44:29,582 And I feel like a fucking burden. 587 00:44:29,666 --> 00:44:32,499 But you are a fucking burden. 588 00:44:32,582 --> 00:44:34,749 -I'm a fucking burden! -You're a burden. 589 00:44:34,832 --> 00:44:38,166 -And you're a burden. -I'm a burden too. 590 00:44:38,249 --> 00:44:40,207 -Want any more? -No, I'm fine. 591 00:44:40,291 --> 00:44:45,124 You ought to be happy you don't have a rectum. Do you know why? 592 00:44:45,207 --> 00:44:47,832 No hemorrhoids and all that shit. 593 00:44:47,916 --> 00:44:50,207 Thank you! 594 00:44:50,291 --> 00:44:52,749 Great! 595 00:44:56,791 --> 00:44:58,541 Yeah. 596 00:45:01,249 --> 00:45:04,041 Are you satisfied with the bucket lists? 597 00:45:04,124 --> 00:45:07,499 -Yeah. -What's yours, then? Your wish? 598 00:45:10,207 --> 00:45:14,041 I've got a wish, but not sure I should say it aloud. 599 00:45:14,124 --> 00:45:16,874 I'm afraid it won't come true. 600 00:45:16,999 --> 00:45:19,332 Ok, you'll have to say it quietly then. 601 00:45:20,999 --> 00:45:22,374 Say it quietly? 602 00:45:22,457 --> 00:45:25,916 -Are you sure? -Completely. Say it quietly. 603 00:45:41,624 --> 00:45:43,666 But I just... 604 00:45:46,707 --> 00:45:49,249 Now listen to me, you fucking prick! 605 00:45:49,332 --> 00:45:52,832 Sorry, that was a bit much. But we'll take care of it. 606 00:45:52,916 --> 00:45:55,707 I get that you've got your little process now, - 607 00:45:55,791 --> 00:45:59,332 - but these people here are the best friends I've got. 608 00:45:59,416 --> 00:46:02,791 So if you fuck up this group for me, I'm gonna fuck you up! 609 00:46:02,874 --> 00:46:05,457 I know gangstas! 610 00:46:06,666 --> 00:46:08,457 Or do I? 611 00:46:10,582 --> 00:46:11,916 Gotcha. 612 00:46:13,166 --> 00:46:15,624 -Can I join the party? -Yeah! 613 00:46:15,707 --> 00:46:18,499 -Of course! -Come on. 614 00:46:22,124 --> 00:46:23,541 Cheers, guys! 615 00:46:23,832 --> 00:46:25,541 Erik Elisabeth? 616 00:46:26,832 --> 00:46:29,249 We'll do that show. 617 00:46:29,791 --> 00:46:31,666 As an opener, I was thinking - 618 00:46:31,749 --> 00:46:35,249 - either the resource joke or leukemia. 619 00:46:35,332 --> 00:46:37,999 I don't think you should open with leukemia. 620 00:46:38,082 --> 00:46:40,082 -Hi, Kasper. -Hey, Nina. 621 00:46:40,166 --> 00:46:41,541 You staying for dinner? 622 00:46:43,124 --> 00:46:45,499 I agree, that's a bit harsh. 623 00:46:45,582 --> 00:46:48,416 -So then we're doing resource? -Yeah. 624 00:46:49,166 --> 00:46:52,999 When you get cancer, you also get something else that sucks. 625 00:46:53,082 --> 00:46:56,207 There's a damn lot of brochures. Extremely many. 626 00:46:56,707 --> 00:47:00,582 In one of the brochures I received, it said: 627 00:47:00,666 --> 00:47:03,999 People with cancer is a vast resource. 628 00:47:05,874 --> 00:47:10,749 Resource? You're on a plane and a person has had a stroke. 629 00:47:10,832 --> 00:47:14,791 Then Trine Lise comes running. "That's great, are you a doctor?" 630 00:47:14,874 --> 00:47:18,874 "No, but I've got a strange birthmark on my knee." 631 00:47:18,999 --> 00:47:22,332 People with cancer are only a resource as extras in a movie - 632 00:47:22,416 --> 00:47:24,791 - about fatigued right-wing extremists. 633 00:47:27,499 --> 00:47:31,374 Next time you breathe in, you can feel... 634 00:47:31,457 --> 00:47:34,249 You're at an afterparty and are all out of cocaine. 635 00:47:34,332 --> 00:47:36,874 Edvard says: "I can call Klaus." 636 00:47:36,999 --> 00:47:42,999 "Can he get more?" "No, but he's got a giant tumor in his balls." 637 00:47:43,291 --> 00:47:46,499 You just have to blanket the audience with jokes. 638 00:47:46,582 --> 00:47:48,041 -Here, Kasper. -Thanks. 639 00:47:48,124 --> 00:47:50,082 It will be god damn tight. 640 00:47:50,166 --> 00:47:52,999 You will need to be completely focused. 641 00:47:53,082 --> 00:47:55,207 -Right? -Yep. 642 00:47:55,291 --> 00:47:56,749 What do you need? 643 00:47:56,832 --> 00:48:00,082 -Complete focus. -What requires complete focus? 644 00:48:00,166 --> 00:48:02,124 -Blanketing. -Exactly. 645 00:48:02,207 --> 00:48:05,749 When you get this disease, your perspective changes. 646 00:48:05,832 --> 00:48:08,582 I've never much liked children. 647 00:48:08,666 --> 00:48:13,207 But I was at the hospital and a little boy came over to me - 648 00:48:13,291 --> 00:48:15,749 - and said: "Is it true you're a comedian?" 649 00:48:15,832 --> 00:48:19,457 "Yes, I am." "I want to be a comedian when I grow up." 650 00:48:19,499 --> 00:48:21,582 I was touched, up until he said: 651 00:48:21,666 --> 00:48:25,332 "And a computer engineer and doctor and a seal." 652 00:48:25,416 --> 00:48:28,791 So I had to give him a tiny reality check. 653 00:48:28,874 --> 00:48:30,791 "Son." 654 00:48:30,874 --> 00:48:34,291 "You've got leukemia. You won't grow up." 655 00:48:38,791 --> 00:48:40,916 Thank you very much. 656 00:48:41,791 --> 00:48:44,499 -Are you doing ok? -Yeah! 657 00:48:46,124 --> 00:48:48,666 Don't ask me how I'm doing. 658 00:48:48,749 --> 00:48:51,749 -How are you doing? -I'm getting buried, thanks for asking. 659 00:49:09,166 --> 00:49:11,332 Another advantage of knowing you're gonna die, - 660 00:49:11,416 --> 00:49:15,124 - is that you have time to plan your funeral. 661 00:49:15,207 --> 00:49:18,582 I'm not gonna have a traditional funeral. I'm gonna have a theme party. 662 00:49:20,916 --> 00:49:25,416 And not a normal, traditional coffin made out of wood. It's gonna be jelly. 663 00:49:25,499 --> 00:49:30,332 And inside there I'm gonna float with corn and peas and shrimp. 664 00:49:31,374 --> 00:49:33,916 Like a savory jelly from hell. 665 00:49:34,041 --> 00:49:37,624 And when they carry me out of the church, jiggly and fine, - 666 00:49:37,707 --> 00:49:42,249 - there's of course only one correct song to play. 667 00:49:45,457 --> 00:49:50,124 "If you don't know me by now ..." 668 00:50:07,916 --> 00:50:09,791 It's strange. 669 00:50:09,874 --> 00:50:11,666 Life is strange. 670 00:50:12,582 --> 00:50:14,749 You have to cherish it. 671 00:50:16,041 --> 00:50:17,374 Cherish it. 672 00:50:17,791 --> 00:50:20,124 Good bye. Thank you. Bye. 673 00:51:41,874 --> 00:51:43,791 Hi. 674 00:51:46,874 --> 00:51:48,666 Can you feel anything? 675 00:51:49,499 --> 00:51:51,207 Not really. 676 00:51:51,624 --> 00:51:54,332 But I like that you're doing it. 677 00:52:18,374 --> 00:52:21,707 I had given my tits nicknames previously. 678 00:52:21,791 --> 00:52:24,791 When they still were... among us. 679 00:52:24,874 --> 00:52:26,624 -Want to hear? -Mm. 680 00:52:27,249 --> 00:52:29,082 Mia and Fia. 681 00:52:31,332 --> 00:52:33,541 -So nerd. -I know. 682 00:52:33,624 --> 00:52:36,582 It sort of doesn't fit, now they're more like... 683 00:52:36,666 --> 00:52:38,499 Ground Zero? 684 00:52:39,916 --> 00:52:42,457 You shouldn't laugh at such things. 685 00:52:42,499 --> 00:52:44,499 So mean. 686 00:52:44,541 --> 00:52:46,041 -Sorry. -It's ok. 687 00:52:46,124 --> 00:52:49,332 You don't need tits when you've got that. 688 00:52:49,416 --> 00:52:52,499 -Do you think I've got a nice ass? -Mm. 689 00:52:54,749 --> 00:52:56,499 Oh damn. 690 00:52:58,041 --> 00:53:00,874 What was the plan for the group today? 691 00:53:09,041 --> 00:53:12,499 You fixing this stuff is so incredibly cool. 692 00:53:12,541 --> 00:53:16,416 You're the cool one for doing this for Anja. 693 00:53:22,624 --> 00:53:25,749 Just stop the bos over here. 694 00:53:25,832 --> 00:53:29,749 And so you just count to ten, then you'll come? 695 00:53:36,416 --> 00:53:39,332 Hi! Where's Anja? 696 00:53:43,166 --> 00:53:45,874 Her mother called this morning. 697 00:53:47,332 --> 00:53:49,124 Anja passed. 698 00:53:50,999 --> 00:53:55,082 Her lungs stopped working during the night. 699 00:53:55,166 --> 00:53:57,166 Her mother and father - 700 00:53:57,249 --> 00:54:01,041 - didn't get to say goodbye to their little girl. 701 00:54:01,124 --> 00:54:02,916 Surprise! 702 00:54:07,249 --> 00:54:09,624 Anja! Anja! Anja! 703 00:54:55,832 --> 00:54:57,624 Hey? 704 00:54:57,999 --> 00:54:59,916 Are you ok? 705 00:55:12,124 --> 00:55:15,332 -See you Wednesday, right? -Yeah. 706 00:55:15,416 --> 00:55:17,332 We're off. Hey. 707 00:55:19,999 --> 00:55:22,249 Can I show you something? 708 00:55:24,499 --> 00:55:27,249 It's a very nice tombstone inscription - 709 00:55:27,332 --> 00:55:30,624 - that I saw when we buried my grandmother. 710 00:55:40,291 --> 00:55:42,041 Isn't it nice? 711 00:55:42,791 --> 00:55:45,416 I think it's so simple and... 712 00:55:45,499 --> 00:55:47,374 I have to go. 713 00:55:51,874 --> 00:55:53,791 Maria? 714 00:56:31,207 --> 00:56:33,541 It's nice that it'll be visually funny. 715 00:56:33,624 --> 00:56:37,791 Not just one of those bad dudes with beer and a barstool. 716 00:56:37,874 --> 00:56:41,499 -What I'm looking for, is... -Are you guys done? 717 00:56:41,582 --> 00:56:46,166 You're something of a pioneer at this. There aren't that many... 718 00:57:27,291 --> 00:57:29,082 Fuck! 719 00:57:32,416 --> 00:57:34,249 Hey. 720 00:57:34,332 --> 00:57:36,582 -Can you hear me? -Did you climb? 721 00:57:36,666 --> 00:57:38,457 Are you crazy? 722 00:57:38,499 --> 00:57:41,624 -You could have... -I could have what? 723 00:57:41,707 --> 00:57:44,207 Hey, would you let me in? 724 00:57:45,374 --> 00:57:47,124 Huh? No. 725 00:57:49,291 --> 00:57:52,332 Sorry if I misjudged something. 726 00:57:52,707 --> 00:57:56,416 If I thought it was something else than it really is. 727 00:57:56,499 --> 00:58:01,624 And sorry that I sent you 14 texts the last day. 728 00:58:01,707 --> 00:58:05,249 Won't you let me in? We don't need to talk. 729 00:58:05,332 --> 00:58:08,499 We could watch a movie, or... 730 00:58:09,582 --> 00:58:13,541 Or perhaps you could put on a movie where... 731 00:58:13,624 --> 00:58:16,499 I don't want to watch any fucking movie! 732 00:58:20,791 --> 00:58:22,582 Ok, no. 733 00:58:24,499 --> 00:58:26,249 Sorry. 734 00:58:27,332 --> 00:58:30,207 I'm just wondering why you left. 735 00:58:33,082 --> 00:58:35,166 Have you heard about ESA? 736 00:58:37,124 --> 00:58:42,082 European Space Agency. An european program training astronauts. 737 00:58:42,166 --> 00:58:44,207 -Like NASA? -Yeah. 738 00:58:44,291 --> 00:58:46,749 No, haven't heard of it. 739 00:58:47,916 --> 00:58:51,416 Five years ago they held admittance trials. 740 00:58:51,499 --> 00:58:53,749 22000 applicants. 741 00:58:53,832 --> 00:58:56,207 Five people were selected. 742 00:58:57,332 --> 00:58:59,499 And you were one of them? 743 00:59:00,374 --> 00:59:02,666 -Were you one of them? -Yes. 744 00:59:03,707 --> 00:59:05,499 Wow. 745 00:59:05,582 --> 00:59:08,041 Week after, I was diagnosed. 746 00:59:08,124 --> 00:59:11,041 I gave myself five years to get well. 747 00:59:12,082 --> 00:59:13,791 Now they found another lump. 748 00:59:13,874 --> 00:59:17,207 I'll go to an euthanasia-clinic if it is a relapse. 749 00:59:17,291 --> 00:59:20,707 -You'll go to...? -An end-of-life-clinic in Switzerland. 750 00:59:20,791 --> 00:59:24,707 If it is a relapse. I can't do another round. 751 00:59:24,791 --> 00:59:28,207 -Just open the door. -I should stay away from you. 752 00:59:28,291 --> 00:59:32,207 -But you're so incredibly nice. -Now, just open the door. 753 00:59:32,291 --> 00:59:35,916 Kasper, I should've stayed away from you. 754 00:59:37,541 --> 00:59:41,791 It's just that you made me forget everything. So... 755 00:59:41,874 --> 00:59:43,416 Sorry. 756 00:59:44,499 --> 00:59:45,791 Sorry. 757 00:59:45,874 --> 00:59:49,624 Just open the door. Maria, open that door. 758 01:00:12,416 --> 01:00:14,249 But ... 759 01:00:23,291 --> 01:00:25,249 You're so damn stupid! 760 01:00:25,332 --> 01:00:27,499 I understand that you think this is undignified - 761 01:00:27,541 --> 01:00:30,166 - and that I should demand more of myself. 762 01:00:30,249 --> 01:00:33,874 But a woman like you deserves a man by her side to carry her purse. 763 01:00:33,999 --> 01:00:39,916 So I demand to come along to fucking Switzerland, and you can just forget saying... 764 01:00:40,999 --> 01:00:42,749 -Did you say yes? 765 01:00:44,249 --> 01:00:47,249 Are you going to open the door, or do I have to... 766 01:01:16,707 --> 01:01:19,291 -Are you ready, Maria? -Yes. 767 01:01:19,374 --> 01:01:21,374 Want me to come in? 768 01:01:22,499 --> 01:01:24,374 No, that's ok. 769 01:01:41,832 --> 01:01:45,874 Hey, I just need a few words. 770 01:01:48,041 --> 01:01:50,832 -What's up? - It's Nina, we've argued. 771 01:01:50,916 --> 01:01:54,291 Now she's gone to her mother, for good. 772 01:01:54,374 --> 01:01:57,874 I don't know what to do, don't know what to say. 773 01:01:57,999 --> 01:02:00,582 It's like an impenetrable wall. 774 01:02:00,666 --> 01:02:03,457 Why does it have to be so fucking hard? 775 01:02:03,499 --> 01:02:05,582 Hell... 776 01:02:06,457 --> 01:02:08,916 Let me know if there's anything I can do. 777 01:02:09,041 --> 01:02:11,041 How about you though, how are you? 778 01:02:11,666 --> 01:02:13,374 Well, it... 779 01:02:13,457 --> 01:02:17,124 -It's ok. I'm fine. -We'll talk later. 780 01:02:17,207 --> 01:02:18,999 Ok. 781 01:02:33,207 --> 01:02:34,499 Hi. 782 01:02:38,374 --> 01:02:41,291 Don't see this every day. 783 01:02:41,374 --> 01:02:43,374 First off, it was - 784 01:02:43,457 --> 01:02:47,791 - just a lump of fat. We see no symptoms in Maria. 785 01:02:48,707 --> 01:02:51,707 We'll wait for a few bloodtests, but - 786 01:02:51,791 --> 01:02:53,749 - according to ultrasound and scan - 787 01:02:53,832 --> 01:02:56,832 - it is completely recovered. 788 01:03:02,124 --> 01:03:05,541 -Sounds like there's a "but" here? -Yeah. 789 01:03:05,624 --> 01:03:08,791 We did an ultrasound of Maria's stomach. 790 01:03:08,874 --> 01:03:10,832 To look for tumors. 791 01:03:10,916 --> 01:03:13,916 Your girlfriend's pregnant. 792 01:03:15,582 --> 01:03:19,291 It is very early, so nothing is certain. 793 01:03:19,374 --> 01:03:21,582 I don't understand anything. 794 01:03:21,666 --> 01:03:25,124 Maria... is pregnant. 795 01:03:25,207 --> 01:03:28,582 And you are approximately three weeks in. 796 01:03:34,582 --> 01:03:38,832 I'll give you some time to talk. 797 01:03:38,916 --> 01:03:41,624 Then we'll talk later, ok? 798 01:03:52,499 --> 01:03:54,874 -Should we go? -Yes, lets. 799 01:04:26,124 --> 01:04:27,999 I just want to... 800 01:04:28,707 --> 01:04:33,082 Don't feel that you have to take part in something you're not ready for. 801 01:04:33,166 --> 01:04:35,624 I just didn't think this was possible. 802 01:04:40,374 --> 01:04:44,249 You'll cancel those tickets to Switzerland, then? 803 01:04:48,707 --> 01:04:51,749 Didn't you include a cancellation insurance? 804 01:04:51,832 --> 01:04:56,041 You didn't? How can anybody possibly be so thick? 805 01:04:56,124 --> 01:05:00,457 You didn't purhcase a cancellation insurance? You have to buy... 806 01:05:00,499 --> 01:05:02,582 Ah, you stupid cow. 807 01:05:16,374 --> 01:05:18,041 You're healthy. 808 01:05:25,374 --> 01:05:27,041 Are you asleep? 809 01:05:36,291 --> 01:05:38,291 Hey you. 810 01:05:38,374 --> 01:05:40,291 No, everything's fine. 811 01:05:42,374 --> 01:05:44,707 Dear Erik Elisabeth. 812 01:05:45,499 --> 01:05:47,791 I think I've got an idea. 813 01:05:47,874 --> 01:05:49,291 Yeah? 814 01:05:49,374 --> 01:05:51,124 Great. 815 01:06:04,499 --> 01:06:07,249 -Really out of practice. -It's my fault. 816 01:06:07,332 --> 01:06:11,291 I'm supposed to be a masculine role model for you. 817 01:06:11,374 --> 01:06:13,541 You just get well! 818 01:06:16,291 --> 01:06:18,374 Hey, Nina... 819 01:06:18,457 --> 01:06:21,624 I know things are tough between you and your father. 820 01:06:21,707 --> 01:06:24,707 Yeah, I figured it was about that. 821 01:06:29,207 --> 01:06:31,582 But you can't shut him out. 822 01:06:31,666 --> 01:06:33,624 It will destroy him. 823 01:06:33,707 --> 01:06:37,499 -I just can't do it. -Yes, you can. 824 01:06:37,541 --> 01:06:40,666 -I don't know what to say. -Say what you feel. 825 01:06:40,749 --> 01:06:44,499 If I was him now, what would you say? 826 01:06:45,124 --> 01:06:48,666 -I don't know. -Don't you think he's an egotistical fool? 827 01:06:48,749 --> 01:06:50,124 Yeah, but... 828 01:06:50,207 --> 01:06:53,499 Don't you get angry, or tired? 829 01:06:53,582 --> 01:06:56,041 Of course I'm tired. 830 01:06:56,124 --> 01:06:57,666 Sick and tired. 831 01:06:57,749 --> 01:07:01,832 Of giggles and gossip. 832 01:07:03,207 --> 01:07:06,749 I think it's horribly unfair, really. 833 01:07:06,832 --> 01:07:11,666 And I know he's brae and a good example and all that. 834 01:07:12,666 --> 01:07:16,332 -I'm just so fucking tired. -Completely understood. 835 01:07:16,416 --> 01:07:18,791 -Tired and... -Angry, perhaps? 836 01:07:18,874 --> 01:07:21,124 Like hell. Embarrassed. 837 01:07:21,207 --> 01:07:24,124 He can live out everything that he is, - 838 01:07:24,207 --> 01:07:27,499 - but there's no room for me to... 839 01:07:28,416 --> 01:07:32,416 I just wish he wasn't my father. 840 01:07:33,457 --> 01:07:35,291 Sorry. 841 01:07:37,124 --> 01:07:38,832 Hi, Nina. 842 01:07:43,416 --> 01:07:46,457 First and foremost I love you. 843 01:07:46,499 --> 01:07:48,874 Daddy loves you, baby girl. 844 01:07:48,999 --> 01:07:50,832 And I understand you so well. 845 01:07:50,916 --> 01:07:54,624 It's perfectly ok that you are embarrassed. Perfectly ok. 846 01:07:54,999 --> 01:07:56,624 Thank you, daddy. 847 01:07:56,707 --> 01:07:58,332 But - 848 01:07:58,416 --> 01:08:00,207 - you have to understand - 849 01:08:00,291 --> 01:08:02,374 - that this is who I am. 850 01:08:03,249 --> 01:08:08,541 And I have to be able to be the person I was born to be, just like you. 851 01:08:08,624 --> 01:08:10,999 Daddy used so many years - 852 01:08:11,082 --> 01:08:13,499 - being something he is not. 853 01:08:15,291 --> 01:08:17,041 Nina? 854 01:08:18,249 --> 01:08:20,582 Nina! 855 01:08:22,582 --> 01:08:26,499 -Are you satisfied? -You're so dumb. 856 01:08:26,582 --> 01:08:28,499 God damn niche character. 857 01:08:28,582 --> 01:08:31,041 Three years. Secondary school is three years. 858 01:08:31,124 --> 01:08:33,874 In an institution worse than any maximum security prison. 859 01:08:33,999 --> 01:08:37,374 Only way to get through, is by trying to remain unnoticed. 860 01:08:37,457 --> 01:08:39,457 How do you think she's had it - 861 01:08:39,499 --> 01:08:43,124 - when dad comes to the end of term celebrations dressed as mrs Myhre? 862 01:08:43,207 --> 01:08:45,416 Don't go there. Are we going to let bullies... 863 01:08:45,499 --> 01:08:47,749 You became Erik Elisabeth long after you finished school. 864 01:08:47,832 --> 01:08:51,082 Don't make her fight the battle you didn't have to guts to do. 865 01:08:51,166 --> 01:08:53,582 You're asking me to be something I'm not? 866 01:08:53,707 --> 01:08:56,707 I'm asking you to be something you're not - 867 01:08:56,791 --> 01:08:58,749 - just a little bit, for Nina's sake. 868 01:08:58,832 --> 01:09:02,666 Take all your principles and put them in a nice little Marc Jacobs-bag. 869 01:09:02,749 --> 01:09:06,916 Go against your wonderful nature for a very little while. 870 01:09:07,041 --> 01:09:11,541 For her. And get a grip on your crying. No wonder she's moving out! 871 01:09:11,624 --> 01:09:13,457 Don't teach me how to be a parent. 872 01:09:13,499 --> 01:09:16,416 Enough with playing the victim! 873 01:09:17,916 --> 01:09:20,166 You're the best human being I know. 874 01:09:20,249 --> 01:09:23,291 And you are so great with your clients and friends. 875 01:09:23,374 --> 01:09:27,541 But the one person in the whole world worth sacrificing everything for? 876 01:09:27,624 --> 01:09:29,416 You just can't do it. 877 01:09:29,499 --> 01:09:31,666 Or is it that you can't be bothered? 878 01:09:40,791 --> 01:09:42,791 Just play. Come on, play. 879 01:09:42,874 --> 01:09:44,874 Throw the balls... 880 01:09:52,416 --> 01:09:55,749 Ladies and gentlemen, she is originally from Spydeberg. 881 01:09:55,832 --> 01:09:57,791 She lies about being infertile. 882 01:09:57,874 --> 01:10:01,082 Here's the pathological liar and most likely sociopath: 883 01:10:01,166 --> 01:10:03,207 Maria Toulabi! 884 01:10:03,666 --> 01:10:06,624 Then the audience applauds and then you're on. 885 01:10:07,291 --> 01:10:09,582 -Nervous? -No. 886 01:10:10,832 --> 01:10:12,916 -Not really. -No. 887 01:10:13,041 --> 01:10:14,999 Not for this. 888 01:10:17,707 --> 01:10:20,332 -I have to tell you something. -Ok? 889 01:10:22,249 --> 01:10:26,666 Ok. I know you have stowed away your telescope and such - 890 01:10:26,749 --> 01:10:30,916 - and shelved the entire dream of becoming an astronaut. 891 01:10:31,041 --> 01:10:33,916 But can I show you a little something? 892 01:10:34,041 --> 01:10:36,832 -It's quite allright if you don't like it. -What is it? 893 01:10:36,916 --> 01:10:38,541 You have to close your eyes. 894 01:10:38,624 --> 01:10:40,749 -Properly. -Ok. 895 01:10:40,832 --> 01:10:44,207 You can look again on three. 896 01:10:45,541 --> 01:10:46,874 One. 897 01:10:46,999 --> 01:10:48,666 Two. 898 01:10:48,749 --> 01:10:50,499 Three. 899 01:11:10,374 --> 01:11:11,874 Thank you. 900 01:11:46,582 --> 01:11:49,166 Life is like this: 901 01:11:49,249 --> 01:11:52,207 Now and then, for a few seconds, - 902 01:11:52,582 --> 01:11:55,124 - things feel completely perfect. 903 01:11:57,832 --> 01:12:02,207 Hemingway said that happiness in intelligent people is rare. 904 01:12:02,291 --> 01:12:04,291 Perhaps he was right. 905 01:12:04,374 --> 01:12:07,666 But sometimes you actually feel so happy - 906 01:12:07,749 --> 01:12:11,041 - that you think it will never end. 907 01:12:11,499 --> 01:12:13,291 But it can. 908 01:12:21,916 --> 01:12:23,916 Ow! 909 01:12:27,166 --> 01:12:29,041 Call... 910 01:13:38,999 --> 01:13:41,582 There's been a serious procedure. 911 01:13:41,666 --> 01:13:43,499 We don't know if he can walk again. 912 01:13:44,166 --> 01:13:49,124 We don't know exactly what his state will be when he wakes. 913 01:13:49,207 --> 01:13:51,707 -We'll let you know. -Thank you. 914 01:13:55,874 --> 01:14:00,374 -That was more than bad news. -Yeah, but do you think... 915 01:14:13,499 --> 01:14:16,832 -Is it ok if we go over? -Yes, yes. 916 01:14:19,416 --> 01:14:21,624 -Hi, honey. -Hi. 917 01:14:24,207 --> 01:14:26,832 -Everybody, yep. -Yep. 918 01:14:28,124 --> 01:14:29,916 Your hair is looking great. 919 01:14:30,041 --> 01:14:31,749 Thank you. 920 01:14:32,832 --> 01:14:34,749 Where is Elisabeth? 921 01:14:35,541 --> 01:14:37,457 Home today. 922 01:14:37,874 --> 01:14:41,332 And the worst bowler in Norway. 923 01:14:41,416 --> 01:14:43,582 -Hi, Nina. -Hi. 924 01:14:43,666 --> 01:14:47,041 -Do I look as shit as I think? -Yeah. 925 01:14:47,124 --> 01:14:51,457 I really had intended to give it to you for christmas, but... 926 01:15:00,374 --> 01:15:02,624 I've got one just like it, so... 927 01:15:04,249 --> 01:15:05,624 Now we're matching. 928 01:15:05,707 --> 01:15:08,207 Perhaps it's not the right time for it, - 929 01:15:08,291 --> 01:15:11,916 - but I've got something for you, daddy. 930 01:15:13,124 --> 01:15:14,499 Here. 931 01:15:14,999 --> 01:15:16,457 The one you had - 932 01:15:16,499 --> 01:15:18,916 - wasn't really your color. 933 01:15:23,499 --> 01:15:25,832 Thank you so much. 934 01:15:31,124 --> 01:15:33,082 Looking good! 935 01:15:35,166 --> 01:15:39,374 I don't know these people. Nice if you could get them out. 936 01:15:39,457 --> 01:15:41,332 Not at all. 937 01:15:49,999 --> 01:15:52,041 You look completely crazy. 938 01:15:53,166 --> 01:15:56,832 I dreamt that we were discussing the name of the baby. 939 01:15:58,166 --> 01:16:03,249 And we started arguing furiously because you wanted the baby to be called - 940 01:16:03,332 --> 01:16:04,916 - Horse. 941 01:16:05,499 --> 01:16:07,374 It's fun. 942 01:16:08,582 --> 01:16:09,916 Does it hurt? 943 01:16:15,666 --> 01:16:19,332 If it's a girl, I've got a suggestion. 944 01:16:19,416 --> 01:16:21,124 Sara. 945 01:16:24,499 --> 01:16:26,374 Sara. 946 01:16:31,291 --> 01:16:33,874 -She's got to have your last name. -No. 947 01:16:33,999 --> 01:16:38,332 -It'll be so hard to apply for work. -She must have yours. 948 01:16:38,416 --> 01:16:40,749 Sara Berntsen. Then we're decided. 949 01:16:40,832 --> 01:16:42,999 Sara Toulabi. No argument. 950 01:16:43,082 --> 01:16:46,374 -Sara Toulabi Berntsen. -Sara Toulabi. 951 01:16:46,457 --> 01:16:49,624 Stop! Sara Toulabi Berntsen. 952 01:17:13,874 --> 01:17:16,916 It was a lump in the lymph gland - 953 01:17:17,041 --> 01:17:21,124 - which caused you to become ill. 954 01:17:23,166 --> 01:17:26,124 You've had a bone marrow infiltration. 955 01:17:26,207 --> 01:17:32,374 So I would like to start a new round of chemo therapy as soon as possible. 956 01:17:32,457 --> 01:17:36,249 He will start preparations for his show in less than two weeks. 957 01:17:36,332 --> 01:17:40,624 -How involved is it? -Four to five hours a day for eight weeks. 958 01:17:40,707 --> 01:17:42,082 That is doable. 959 01:17:42,166 --> 01:17:46,041 -I have bone marrow infiltration? -Correct 960 01:17:46,124 --> 01:17:49,749 The body stops producing platelets? 961 01:17:49,832 --> 01:17:51,207 That's the reason why we want to... 962 01:17:51,291 --> 01:17:55,416 How many in my situation have become better due to chemo? 963 01:17:55,499 --> 01:17:57,916 As of yet there is no... 964 01:17:58,999 --> 01:18:00,666 How many - 965 01:18:00,749 --> 01:18:05,832 - in my situation have you heard about who has become better with chemo? 966 01:18:05,916 --> 01:18:09,582 What you're doing now is so...mean. 967 01:18:09,666 --> 01:18:12,791 I understand it is a difficult thing to tell somebody. 968 01:18:12,874 --> 01:18:17,874 But you are depriving me of the chance to say goodbye to my friends. 969 01:18:17,999 --> 01:18:20,624 How long have I got? 970 01:18:21,374 --> 01:18:24,291 -What are we talking? -Six weeks. Approximately. 971 01:18:24,374 --> 01:18:28,082 No, no, no. Fuck that. 972 01:18:28,166 --> 01:18:33,124 Six weeks? Where do you get that from? A random number that you pick from... 973 01:18:33,207 --> 01:18:34,999 Oh my god! 974 01:18:36,999 --> 01:18:38,749 Thanks. 975 01:18:45,166 --> 01:18:48,374 Would you open the door, please? 976 01:18:58,999 --> 01:19:01,416 I need to be alone now. 977 01:19:03,166 --> 01:19:06,499 You've been here before, now I'm here. 978 01:19:06,541 --> 01:19:08,374 I just have to - 979 01:19:08,457 --> 01:19:10,249 - be alone for a bit. 980 01:19:23,041 --> 01:19:25,249 This little light of mine... 981 01:19:26,582 --> 01:19:28,874 I'm gonna let it shine. 982 01:19:30,916 --> 01:19:33,291 This little light of mine... 983 01:19:34,582 --> 01:19:37,166 I'm gonna let it shine. 984 01:19:38,041 --> 01:19:39,374 Kasper? 985 01:19:39,457 --> 01:19:43,249 Erik Elisabeth, I've asked to be alone now. 986 01:19:43,332 --> 01:19:44,624 Kasper. 987 01:19:44,707 --> 01:19:46,457 Andrea is here. 988 01:19:55,082 --> 01:19:58,374 How far is your girlfriend along? 989 01:19:58,457 --> 01:20:00,457 13 weeks. 990 01:20:01,707 --> 01:20:04,457 Yeah, you would've been a good father. 991 01:20:04,499 --> 01:20:08,332 But I'm not gonna stand here and talk nonsense. None of us have time for that. 992 01:20:08,416 --> 01:20:10,166 I've got something for you. 993 01:20:10,249 --> 01:20:12,582 It was Erik's idea. 994 01:20:13,499 --> 01:20:16,707 "Last night with Kasper Berntsen." What's that? 995 01:20:16,791 --> 01:20:18,374 One night. One show. 996 01:20:18,457 --> 01:20:20,249 With you. 997 01:20:20,624 --> 01:20:23,916 Kasper, shouldn't we just bomb Dresden? 998 01:20:24,041 --> 01:20:26,832 You're gonna make a one-night show with me - 999 01:20:26,916 --> 01:20:28,541 - before I die? 1000 01:20:28,624 --> 01:20:31,499 -I know that you love money. -Love money. 1001 01:20:31,582 --> 01:20:35,624 But to profit from my death, that... 1002 01:20:35,707 --> 01:20:39,249 We're not making a dime. You're gonna make a ton of money. 1003 01:20:39,332 --> 01:20:43,207 Which will be managed until your kid is 25. 1004 01:20:43,291 --> 01:20:46,541 How many can the main stage hold? 500? 1005 01:20:46,624 --> 01:20:51,041 -At 500,- per ticket? -Don't go that cheap. 1006 01:20:51,124 --> 01:20:55,374 -We'll charge 1000 per person. -Say two shows in one evening. 1007 01:20:55,457 --> 01:20:57,541 One thousand times one thousand... One million. 1008 01:20:57,624 --> 01:21:01,332 How much do you get then if ten thousand come? 1009 01:21:01,416 --> 01:21:03,457 That is ten million. 1010 01:21:03,499 --> 01:21:06,791 -Right. -But then you need more shows. 1011 01:21:06,874 --> 01:21:09,082 Or Oslo Spektrum? 1012 01:21:13,499 --> 01:21:17,749 Kasper, I simply told them about - 1013 01:21:18,249 --> 01:21:21,416 - an old childhood dream. 1014 01:21:39,541 --> 01:21:41,249 Wow! 1015 01:21:41,332 --> 01:21:42,832 Let's go. 1016 01:21:43,749 --> 01:21:47,666 Today it was announced that the terminally ill comedian Kasper Berntsen - 1017 01:21:47,749 --> 01:21:50,207 - will attempt to fill Oslo Spektrum. 1018 01:21:51,999 --> 01:21:54,749 The 39 year old has been diagnosed with late stage cancer - 1019 01:21:54,832 --> 01:21:59,499 - and it is uncertain whether he will be able to stand on stage. 1020 01:22:15,332 --> 01:22:18,291 Fucking cancer everywhere! It's radiating cancer! 1021 01:22:18,374 --> 01:22:20,166 Kasper fucking Berntsen! 1022 01:22:24,249 --> 01:22:26,166 There's the head. 1023 01:22:26,249 --> 01:22:28,041 And the spine. 1024 01:22:28,124 --> 01:22:30,707 Curious, do you still - 1025 01:22:30,791 --> 01:22:33,916 - not want to know the sex? 1026 01:22:34,041 --> 01:22:37,499 I think I have to know, if that's ok. 1027 01:22:37,541 --> 01:22:39,541 It is a healthy little - 1028 01:22:39,624 --> 01:22:41,832 - girl. 1029 01:23:05,582 --> 01:23:09,207 Eight days left until Kasper Berntsens standup show. 1030 01:23:09,291 --> 01:23:14,499 Far from sold out. Could it be that people think it's too mordbid? 1031 01:23:16,291 --> 01:23:19,332 There's a chance he could die during the show? 1032 01:23:19,416 --> 01:23:23,166 That is a major stress for such a frail body. 1033 01:23:23,249 --> 01:23:27,207 I hope nobody are morbid enough that they would take part in something like that. 1034 01:23:28,999 --> 01:23:30,749 Yes! 1035 01:23:42,832 --> 01:23:45,166 Then we're here, young man. 1036 01:23:46,457 --> 01:23:48,582 -Ready? -Mm. 1037 01:23:49,457 --> 01:23:51,166 Looking great! 1038 01:23:51,541 --> 01:23:54,499 -I'm a bit short on time. -I'll be as quick as I can. 1039 01:23:54,582 --> 01:23:58,041 Folding this nice shirt here, like so. 1040 01:23:58,791 --> 01:24:00,666 -Ok. -Let's see... 1041 01:24:01,416 --> 01:24:03,082 Oi da! 1042 01:24:03,166 --> 01:24:06,832 Look down please. Maria, would you fetch a basin? 1043 01:24:31,457 --> 01:24:32,999 Hi! 1044 01:24:33,416 --> 01:24:35,166 Come, come. 1045 01:24:39,791 --> 01:24:41,166 Jesus! 1046 01:24:43,249 --> 01:24:45,041 Kasper. 1047 01:24:45,124 --> 01:24:47,332 -I think we... -Help me with my jacket. 1048 01:24:47,416 --> 01:24:50,791 No, relax a bit and gather your strength. 1049 01:24:50,874 --> 01:24:52,832 -No! -He wants to. 1050 01:24:52,916 --> 01:24:54,874 Let him. 1051 01:24:55,374 --> 01:24:58,332 Erik, would you help me with my jacket? 1052 01:25:01,332 --> 01:25:02,874 Can anybody help me? 1053 01:25:05,249 --> 01:25:06,999 Are there nobody who...? 1054 01:25:29,374 --> 01:25:31,166 It's ok, Nina. 1055 01:25:32,041 --> 01:25:33,457 He's doing ok. 1056 01:26:19,624 --> 01:26:21,374 Come on. 1057 01:26:30,416 --> 01:26:32,082 Kasper, honey? 1058 01:26:32,166 --> 01:26:36,207 We'll just take a brief break, and then... 1059 01:26:38,707 --> 01:26:40,707 Could I have some assistance? 1060 01:26:42,916 --> 01:26:44,874 Vi skal få deg opp i sengen. 1061 01:26:44,999 --> 01:26:47,832 -Hello? -They wonder when you're here? 1062 01:26:51,291 --> 01:26:55,707 It's packed here, so it's quite... 1063 01:27:06,207 --> 01:27:07,832 Sorry. 1064 01:27:07,916 --> 01:27:10,082 We'll get you to bed. 1065 01:27:28,999 --> 01:27:30,707 That was it. 1066 01:27:42,374 --> 01:27:43,666 Hey? 1067 01:27:44,624 --> 01:27:50,166 -Wouldn't you do the show just for us? -I would love to see it myself. 1068 01:27:50,249 --> 01:27:53,582 You've got free passes. No rights whatsoever. 1069 01:27:53,666 --> 01:27:58,666 Legally speaking I could sue you for breach of contract. 1070 01:27:58,749 --> 01:28:01,041 Yeah, ok. Ok, Andrea. 1071 01:28:01,124 --> 01:28:03,332 Shut the door and turn off the light, - 1072 01:28:03,416 --> 01:28:04,916 - and I'll give you a show. 1073 01:28:05,041 --> 01:28:06,374 Andrea? 1074 01:28:07,916 --> 01:28:11,582 If you want a show, you'll have a show. 1075 01:28:11,666 --> 01:28:13,749 Shut the door. 1076 01:28:13,832 --> 01:28:15,832 And then turn off the light. 1077 01:28:18,499 --> 01:28:21,541 You have to leave. It is a one-man show. 1078 01:28:22,374 --> 01:28:24,416 Get out. I need a spot, Erik. 1079 01:28:24,499 --> 01:28:26,166 Could you lift me a bit? 1080 01:28:27,874 --> 01:28:30,582 -What will happen, is... -Stop! 1081 01:28:30,666 --> 01:28:33,249 Erik, a word? 1082 01:28:34,541 --> 01:28:39,082 The flow will be really poor if there are interruptions... 1083 01:28:39,707 --> 01:28:41,499 That's spectacular! 1084 01:28:41,541 --> 01:28:45,499 Kasper? You were great, Andrea! 1085 01:28:45,582 --> 01:28:47,374 Kasper. 1086 01:28:48,874 --> 01:28:50,582 This... 1087 01:28:50,666 --> 01:28:54,082 This is Dunkerque. Right? 1088 01:28:54,166 --> 01:28:58,124 On the beach there's total chaos. 1089 01:28:59,291 --> 01:29:01,791 But if you look further out... 1090 01:29:01,874 --> 01:29:03,416 The boats are coming. 1091 01:29:03,791 --> 01:29:06,207 The boats are on the way, Kasper. 1092 01:29:07,207 --> 01:29:09,416 Just stay alive a little bit longer. 1093 01:29:09,499 --> 01:29:11,249 That is Dunkerque. 1094 01:29:12,207 --> 01:29:13,499 Nina, just be here. 1095 01:29:13,582 --> 01:29:14,999 Hey, it's me. 1096 01:29:15,082 --> 01:29:17,332 Listen very closely. 1097 01:29:19,291 --> 01:29:21,124 Ok. 1098 01:29:21,207 --> 01:29:22,916 Fine. 1099 01:29:24,832 --> 01:29:28,207 Hi! Just be ready. Great. 1100 01:29:36,707 --> 01:29:39,791 I need to borrow a few things here. 1101 01:29:39,874 --> 01:29:43,916 I need that too. We've got a small piano bit. 1102 01:29:44,041 --> 01:29:45,499 Oh, you're strong! 1103 01:29:45,541 --> 01:29:46,874 You looked so weak. 1104 01:29:48,666 --> 01:29:51,749 Hello, everybody. I've received some bad news. 1105 01:29:51,832 --> 01:29:54,499 Kasper has had a medical emergency. 1106 01:29:54,582 --> 01:29:59,541 He's at the ICU and can't do a show here tonight. 1107 01:30:01,124 --> 01:30:03,832 Strong grip! No, no. 1108 01:30:03,916 --> 01:30:08,249 I see you love the piano. No, not the drum! 1109 01:30:08,332 --> 01:30:12,166 But then you should browse to comedyclub.no - 1110 01:30:12,249 --> 01:30:17,124 - and select "Last night with Kasper Berntsen" on your mobile phones. 1111 01:30:17,207 --> 01:30:20,916 This should only be spend on candy, nothing healthy. Great! 1112 01:30:21,416 --> 01:30:23,749 So: "Last night with Kasper Berntsen" - 1113 01:30:23,832 --> 01:30:26,832 - at comedyclub.no. 1114 01:30:27,582 --> 01:30:29,207 Thank you! 1115 01:30:41,207 --> 01:30:42,707 Ready, Kasper? 1116 01:30:42,791 --> 01:30:45,749 Nina, you can do the spot. 1117 01:31:03,749 --> 01:31:05,499 Ok? 1118 01:31:06,374 --> 01:31:08,166 Let's just go. 1119 01:31:09,791 --> 01:31:11,916 Going... 1120 01:31:13,666 --> 01:31:17,416 -Go! -Hi, everybody. 1121 01:31:21,582 --> 01:31:25,457 -There he is. -You can hear me, right? 1122 01:31:25,499 --> 01:31:28,707 - I can't hear you, can you hear me? -Yes! 1123 01:31:28,791 --> 01:31:32,124 No point replying. 1124 01:31:33,249 --> 01:31:37,207 I'm very sorry that I can't be there tonight, but - 1125 01:31:37,291 --> 01:31:40,541 - I'm rather busy dying. Hope that's permissible absence. 1126 01:31:40,624 --> 01:31:45,291 And I'll try to get through as much of the show as possible. 1127 01:31:45,374 --> 01:31:49,916 To aid me here I've got my very best friend and agent, Erik Elisabeth. 1128 01:31:53,249 --> 01:31:55,249 By the way, he is single. 1129 01:31:55,332 --> 01:31:57,457 If anybody are looking for - 1130 01:31:57,499 --> 01:32:01,582 - a transsexual, heteronormative northerner with emotional incontinence - 1131 01:32:01,666 --> 01:32:05,707 - and a fetish for WW II, by all means do get in touch. 1132 01:32:05,791 --> 01:32:08,166 What will happen is this: 1133 01:32:08,749 --> 01:32:11,499 First...it's dark. 1134 01:32:11,582 --> 01:32:13,582 Nina, lights! 1135 01:32:23,124 --> 01:32:25,332 Now I can see you. There you are. 1136 01:32:25,416 --> 01:32:27,874 Shit, so many of you! 1137 01:32:27,999 --> 01:32:30,249 Ok, first off the band - 1138 01:32:30,332 --> 01:32:35,207 - plays the drums from a "Live in Las Vegas" opening. 1139 01:32:37,624 --> 01:32:39,416 Drums! 1140 01:32:41,499 --> 01:32:42,832 There you are. 1141 01:32:42,916 --> 01:32:45,291 Good, we paid way too much for you. 1142 01:32:45,374 --> 01:32:48,082 Then the dancers enter the stage. 1143 01:32:50,291 --> 01:32:54,999 Of course they've got a hairdo suitable for the theme of the night. 1144 01:33:14,707 --> 01:33:17,416 And as they're dancing, I do my entrance. 1145 01:33:18,457 --> 01:33:22,124 Inspired by Miley Cyrus who came in like a wrecking ball, - 1146 01:33:22,207 --> 01:33:24,541 - I'll come down from the ceiling on an enormous - 1147 01:33:25,124 --> 01:33:26,499 - cyst. 1148 01:33:37,499 --> 01:33:41,207 I jump down from the cyst, stand at the front of the stage, - 1149 01:33:41,291 --> 01:33:44,291 - lots of pyrotechnics... One, two, three! 1150 01:33:50,541 --> 01:33:55,666 Here I'm counting on the audience standing and applauding enthusiastically. 1151 01:34:05,666 --> 01:34:07,499 And we're off. 1152 01:34:10,791 --> 01:34:12,624 Hello, everybody. 1153 01:34:12,707 --> 01:34:16,707 How are you doing out there? How are you doing in the back? 1154 01:34:16,791 --> 01:34:18,499 Very good. 1155 01:34:18,582 --> 01:34:20,874 I am Kasper Berntsen. 1156 01:34:20,999 --> 01:34:23,916 Looking like a dick with ears. 1157 01:34:25,374 --> 01:34:27,541 ...that people with cancer - 1158 01:34:27,624 --> 01:34:29,374 - are a good resource. 1159 01:34:31,832 --> 01:34:36,416 "No, but I've got a strange birthmark on my shin." 1160 01:34:40,499 --> 01:34:42,332 I was touched, until he said: 1161 01:34:42,791 --> 01:34:44,499 "And computer engineer." 1162 01:34:44,791 --> 01:34:46,374 "And seal." 1163 01:34:48,332 --> 01:34:49,916 Sorry. 1164 01:34:51,499 --> 01:34:53,624 I got chronic obstructive pulmonary disease too. 1165 01:36:40,999 --> 01:36:43,541 Well, that wasn't so bad. 1166 01:36:44,999 --> 01:36:47,249 That was perfect. 1167 01:36:47,332 --> 01:36:49,124 Oslo Spektrum. 1168 01:36:51,499 --> 01:36:53,374 Oslo Spektrum. 1169 01:36:55,707 --> 01:36:57,499 Fuck. 1170 01:36:59,249 --> 01:37:00,541 It's ok. 1171 01:37:02,374 --> 01:37:06,082 Ok, I think I have to throw you out now. I need to... 1172 01:37:06,166 --> 01:37:09,124 We'll try to sleep together. 1173 01:37:13,166 --> 01:37:15,374 You need to hurry, then. 1174 01:37:16,124 --> 01:37:20,124 Or you might be charged with necrophilia. 1175 01:37:29,416 --> 01:37:31,916 Don't you be like your daddy, then. 1176 01:37:33,707 --> 01:37:35,416 See you soon. 1177 01:37:44,749 --> 01:37:47,499 Bye, honey. Bye. 1178 01:37:47,541 --> 01:37:49,666 Bye, dear. 1179 01:38:05,791 --> 01:38:07,666 Can I take this off? 1180 01:38:19,249 --> 01:38:21,457 Kasper Berntsen. 1181 01:38:22,291 --> 01:38:24,499 I love you. 1182 01:38:28,999 --> 01:38:31,082 Maria Toulabi. 1183 01:38:32,749 --> 01:38:34,874 I love you. 1184 01:38:42,832 --> 01:38:44,582 -Ok. -There? 1185 01:38:47,582 --> 01:38:50,249 -Are you ready? -Yeah, I am ready. 1186 01:38:52,416 --> 01:38:54,332 Hi, Sara. 1187 01:38:55,124 --> 01:38:56,832 My girl. 1188 01:38:57,791 --> 01:38:59,166 Daddy here. 1189 01:39:00,124 --> 01:39:02,249 I don't know - 1190 01:39:02,332 --> 01:39:06,832 - exactly where you are right now or how you look. 1191 01:39:06,916 --> 01:39:10,291 But if you're mostly like your mom, and least like me, - 1192 01:39:10,374 --> 01:39:13,249 - you're probably really beautiful. 1193 01:39:14,249 --> 01:39:18,291 I don't have a lot of time, so I'll be brief. 1194 01:39:18,374 --> 01:39:21,791 Some advice from your daddy. 1195 01:39:26,124 --> 01:39:28,916 Life is something like this: 1196 01:39:30,666 --> 01:39:32,416 You're born. 1197 01:39:36,124 --> 01:39:37,916 You grow. 1198 01:39:41,791 --> 01:39:43,582 You get friends. 1199 01:39:45,166 --> 01:39:46,916 Many friends. 1200 01:39:50,166 --> 01:39:54,249 Some of them you'll perhaps take a little better care of, than others. 1201 01:39:57,666 --> 01:40:00,707 But life doesn't turn out like you planned. 1202 01:40:04,249 --> 01:40:06,916 It never turns out like planned. 1203 01:40:50,874 --> 01:40:52,749 Life is like this: 1204 01:40:53,416 --> 01:40:55,624 There's no key. 1205 01:40:56,041 --> 01:41:00,041 But if you treat people well, you'll get pretty far. 1206 01:41:00,124 --> 01:41:02,999 And if you start working with something you enjoy - 1207 01:41:03,082 --> 01:41:06,666 - you don't need to work a single day in your life. 1208 01:41:06,749 --> 01:41:08,707 Don't sign for any high interest loans. 1209 01:41:08,791 --> 01:41:11,416 Don't get a facial tattoo. 1210 01:41:11,499 --> 01:41:14,041 And promise you you'll be yourself. 1211 01:41:14,624 --> 01:41:16,457 Always. 1212 01:41:18,291 --> 01:41:20,666 With all bumps and wrinkles. 1213 01:41:20,749 --> 01:41:25,082 Your pluses and minuses, your complexes and failings. 1214 01:41:25,166 --> 01:41:26,999 Just be yourself. 1215 01:41:42,249 --> 01:41:45,166 Just be yourself, my love. 1216 01:41:46,624 --> 01:41:48,499 For life - 1217 01:41:49,499 --> 01:41:51,207 - is... 1218 01:41:54,291 --> 01:41:56,499 You. 1219 01:42:26,416 --> 01:42:30,416 OCR & translation: ameneon