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I tell you this dear,
when we first married and for some time
Tom would tell dirty jokes, not too dirty, but naughty jokes,
but as he went along and got more religious,
all of that sort of thing seemed to fade from him.
– Were they good ones?
– Yeah. Were the jokes good ones?
Yes they were.
I won’t tell you them but I can still remember some of them.
I can still, and, and Ben,
I’ll tell you a couple of things, they were very naughty some of them, they really were,
and I won’t relate them, but they were.
And I tell you sweetheart I wrote poetry
and I wrote a very naughty poem and Tom screamed with laughter at it,
which I don’t think he probably would do towards the end of his life,
but it was very naughty Ben.
Let me see if I can remember how it started.
I don't know if you know this one
if you read this one of mine, now can I remember it?
In days of old, when knights were bold,
and ladies wore their knickers,
some maid did glance at some knight’s lance,
and dropped them double quickers.
How about that for a poem?
We’ll go no further.
# Any time you’re Lambeth way,
any evening, any day,
you’ll find us all,
doing the Lambeth walk. Oi.
Everything’s free and easy,
do as you darn well please-y,
why don’t you make your way there,
go there, stay there,
once you get down Lambeth way,
any evening, any day,
you’ll find us all,
doing the Lambeth walk. Oi.
I tell you sweetheart, when I started going out with Philip,
I said to him “I’ve got agoraphobia”
and he said “I had that as well” he said “But the wheel fell off”.
That was the response from Philip.
Tom, I tell you, when I told him that I’d got agoraphobia,
he heard it only being mentioned on the radio recently,
he said “I heard about that, Oh dear” he said,
and nothing else.
This is the beautiful bouquet
that Sheila, Frank, Julie and Nick,
have sent Tom and me for our silver wedding anniversary,
which is tomorrow, the 27th of October.
Isn’t it lovely?
Orchards, roses, dahlias, carnations, etc,
Beautiful. And it smells marvellous.
We’ve put it on top of the fridge.
It’s rather cool there.
Hope to make them last as long as possible.
Wish they’d last forever.
Lovely.
We wanted to decorate this room, and we wanted it to be extra special.
There was a do it yourself shop up Chatsworth road that’s not there now.
There was a man in there,
actually he was gay,
but a lot of these gay people are very very artistic,
that’s why he was working in that type of a shop.
And he told us what, he said,
“look through the papers, yeah, you want this paper”
and he told us what to have with it,
he said make sure the paintwork is white
and have raspberry coloured ceiling,
he said “it’ll come up absolutely marvellous”
and he was absolutely right.
And I tell you what he did eventually,
there’s a pub down Hackney somewhere,
I think it’s called “The Jude Dragon”, or some name like that,
it’s got a lot of gays in it,
and he went down there,
they’re show-business ones as well.
And the last I know of him, apparently,
he was spending hours and hours and hours
sewing loads of sequins on his dress.
My mum whacked up the paper in no time,
and I painted the white paint work,
my Dad laid the carpet,
and we did it as I say in five days.
Aladdin goes into the cave,
and he’s absolutely astonished with all that he sees,
of course he’s actually going in for the magic lamp,
but he’s astonished with all the other
treasures that he sees on the way,
and that’s what this room is like, it’s beautiful.
In fact it’s down right magical.
Oh Dinah the bathtub belle,
– oh diddly-diddly-Di – Dinah the bathtub belle, she’s in her bath-y
Dinah’s having her bath-y,
yes she is, oh she’s lovely,
and she loves it,
– oh Dinah – yeah, she loves her bath-y
We do her little head like that, yeah,
and we get all them little fleazy-wheezies out, don’t we, yeah,
there’s a little Choco
Just like the fairy godmother,
she’s Cinderella at the moment,
but she’s going to be a beauty soon,
cos what a gown this will be.
Ooooh,
diddly-diddly-Dee,
a-diddly-diddly-Dee,
a-diddly-diddly-Dee
Thursday the first.
I videoed The Secret Garden.
Tom, Mum and I had a lovely walk with the dogs.
Right.
That’s how most of my diaries and things went.
Friday the second,
Tom, Mum and I had a lovely Millfields walk with Dinah, Chocy and Jackie.
Saturday the third,
Tom, Mum and I had a lovely Millfields walk with Dinah, Chocy and Jackie.
Sunday the forth,
Tom, Mum and I had a lovely Millfields walk with Dinah, Chocy and Jackie,
and that’s how it goes on.
Now, wait a minute, I’ll tell you some other bits.
On Wednesday the seventh,
Tom and I had a lovely video show of the film
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
Right. Wait a minute I’ll tell you some more that we saw.
Um, any more here,
any more, any more films?
Thursday the twenty-ninth,
I did a lovely big load of washing.
The winter of February 1991
and these are all the icicles on our house.
And some of the snows in the gardens.
Here’s the icicles.
Look at the length of them.
Here they are.
My Dad said at least four feet.
This is being taken from my Dad’s bedroom window,
of our roof,
and the snows,
and the icicles.
My dear Dad.
He said to me “I don’t know how you want all these videos?”
But he would go to Woolworths, I’d say “Dad get me some more videos please”
and he got me hundreds.
And he used to say “Other people tell me they’ve only got one video…”
I said “Well, I’m not other people…”
And I said “I’m filming all the films I can get while I can get them”
and my dear dear Dad,
went to Woolworth’s many many many times,
and brought me back dozens and dozens and dozens and dozens of blank videos
which I filled up, what you reckon Ben?
He was an angel.
And in here you see…
We’ve got lots more videos.
and I tell you the sort of videos we’ve got in there a lot;
comedy ones, a lot of comedy ones, not entirely,
but a lot of comedy ones.
that were musicals as well,
like Gracie Fields for instance,
you’ve got to see some of them Ben, they’re ever so good.
And Elaine actually on the Isle of Capri saw
Gracie Fields house, which is where she finished up,
Gracie Fields did, on the Isle of Capri.
# Was on the Isle of Capri that I met her,
Under the shade of an old walnut tree.
But anyway…
I think I can get this side open as well. Wait a minute…
That’s it…
yeah, loads more videos you see,
# I told this heart of mine,
# Our love could never be,
# But than I hear your voice
# and something stirs inside of me,
# somehow I can’t dismiss
# The memory of your kiss,
# Guess my heart has a mind of it’s own.
Now let me see, have I got anymore here that...
are mine, I don’t know what I’ve got here.
That one is Africa.
You haven’t been to Africa though?
Me?
No, no, it’s one of these sound ones,
I’ve got all round the world here Ben,
I’ve got Greece, and I’ve got Hawaii,
and I’ve got down the Nile, and all sorts of things,
and loads of Disney of course as well.
Would you have liked to go to those countries?
Well I wouldn’t Ben, but my Mum would,
she said to me in her time,
she would’ve have loved to have travelled the world.
I tell you something about my mother Ben.
It might shock you a bit,
but she was a very innocent person, and she lived a very innocent live,
and she worked like a Trojan and she was a wonderful person.
She worked like a Trojan as I say and
she did say to me she would’ve loved to have been able to have travelled the world,
but it wasn’t on for her,
circumstances didn’t permit.
But she said to me “Kaye” she said,
“If I had my life again” she said,
“I wouldn’t live this life” she said,
“I’d be a high class prostitute.”
Yes, what you reckon?
She said “a high class one” she said “but I would be”
she said “I wouldn’t live this innocent life again”.
What d’you reckon Ben?
And she meant it.
# Fun run, Mum run,
Di and Choc and Jack Run,
Fun run, Mum run,
Di and Choc and Jack.
# Fun run, Mum run,
Di and Choc and Jack Run,
Fun run, Mum run,
Di and Choc and Jack.
Who is it?
Who is it Di?
Oh is it? It’s Mum innit?
Whaaaaaaaaaay
# We knocked ‘em in the old Kent Old,
Have a banana.
A Boat?
Here look what it is mum.
Oh innit funny?
Innit posh?
Give us wave.
You ain’t half alright.
The three stooges.
My mum was very outgoing, and my Dad wasn’t.
And my Mum would be ever such fun at a party,
which my Dad wouldn’t particularly, he was much more…
I tell you about my Dad,
one of the things about my Dad.
Course as I say, she wanted to drive to start off with and he…
Oh Betty’s just come home,
she wanted to drive,
and he said he couldn’t stand it,
he said "if that’s what you’re going to do I’ll have to leave home."
He couldn’t stand it. He was very frightened something would happen to her.
But I tell you something else,
now seeing Betty’s taken me mind off of it,
she’s just gone in.
Something else I was going to tell you about it.
Oh I know what it was I going to tell you Ben,
there was two things he would do this
and frighten the life out of us,
he would talk about the builders
cos he was in the building trade
“What we don’t need round here is a pile-driver.”
Now apparently what a pile-driver is,
do you know what is Ben? No?
It’s a great big lump of stone,
a whopping big stone thing,
which comes swinging about
and bashes onto a house that it’s going bash down you see.
And the last thing I wanted to hear about was anything like that,
I was only just getting over the glandular fever.
And we used go call him “Pile Driver”
“Pile Driver” we used to say to him.
And also according to my Dad,
and I remember me telling Lorenzo this as well,
according to my Dad,
everything was deadly.
This is a deadly and that’s deadly,
everything was deadly, depressive you see.
Oh this is a deadly and that’s deadly,
and we used to say to him: “deadly, deadly”.
It was dreadful really, but that was the conversation.
I don’t think it’s going to apply to me, I hope it doesn’t.
You…
have with the Royal Mail statutory pensions scheme…
Oh, oh dear oh dear,
d’you know this sort of thing Ben drives me up the wall,
I hope it’s nothing I’ve got to um,
do anything about.
But there’s two good things about it…
Oh fiddle faddle,
Two good things about it
First of all, most important of the lot,
it’s not a medical letter, that’s the first thing.
And the second thing is,
it’s not a bill.
It’s only about pensions.
I just hope, I hope I don’t have to do anything with it.
I tell you what when you can just read that letter
see what it’s got to say.
I can’t stand anything like that.
But anyway as I say,
it’s not a medical letter that’s the main thing
and it’s not a bill either.
Bill’s aren’t as back as medical letters but they’re bad enough.
I’ll go and put it in here, hang on dear.
Anyway, we know the post has been now and that’s the worst. Only that.
– Got it? – Yeah
That’s it, right turn on Dad.
Let’s have a look at it and I’m going to get rid of it.
Here, can you turn off just for a second again, I had it a bit wonky.
– Turn off.
– Oh God.
Oh innit a scream?
Yeah it’s the green eyed monster.
You know if anyone see’s that they’ll take it.
Yeah they will. Innit good?
Let’s have a, a closer look.
I couldn’t get down to Leabridge road anymore,
and my Mum had to get my Dad to get some errands to start off with,
because we couldn’t go.
And my Dad said
“I’m not the butterboy”
“I’m not the…” but he went,
and he became a very good shopper.
Tom also was a very good shopper.
And we had to rely on their shopping
because I couldn’t get out and my Mum couldn’t leave me.
She very rarely went out without me Ben,
she very rarely went out without me,
and as luck would have it, because I was with my mother,
I could get to… for a long while, until I got the glandular fever
I could get to a lot of places.
So long as my mother was with me,
or my mum and Tom.
She knew I was madly in love with Tom,
and she said “I can see he’s madly in love with you as well Kaye”
And she knew I was broken hearted at the time over Philip.
Which I was. Oh in a terrible state,
oh dear oh dear, terrible.
And then I got with Tom.
And I fell for him hook, line and sinker as they say.
And my Mum said to this Mae:
“This is one Mae.”
“Oooh do you think so Mavis?” Said Mae
“Yes” said my Mum “This is one.”
And it was.
Roast beef and Yorkshire pudding
Sunday
Bangers and mash; Saturday.
Roast beef and Yorkshire pudding Friday night.
Bangers and mash; Thursday night.
When Tom first asked me to marry him,
I said to him: “would it be alright if we lived here?”
I said “Under the circumstances
I think it would be the best idea”
and I showed him round
and he said it was a very good idea.
My Mum and Dad were upstairs,
Tom and me were downstairs, there was the four of us in the house,
There was seven when we had the dogs of course.
We all knew it had got to work Ben,
because I couldn’t go anywhere else
and I wasn’t meant to go anywhere else, I wasn’t,
I was meant to be here all the time.
'An Invitation to Ireland', that would break my heart.
Because of Tom.
You never wanted to go to Ireland mind?
Oh no I don’t, didn’t want to do that no.
Did Tom go back often?
He never went back because of me.
I couldn’t stand it darling.
I said “I can’t stand you going”,
so they came to us. You see.
They came to us a number of times.
His mum, his brother Shaun came about four times.
They came to us. I couldn’t go,
and I couldn’t bear to let Tom go,
I was terrified something would happen to him,
and it would’ve just about killed me.
Oh look, oh look Ben look,
We’ve got Elvis, we’ve got a lovely picture of Elvis,
and a lovely picture of Shirley Temple, what you reckon dear?
Aren’t these scrapbooks lovely Ben?
Aren’t they lovely?
I was very worried about Tom being out all those hours from me,
So I would get the scrap books out, get my head down so I didn’t worry too much about him
and solidly work on them, doing them meticulously as I could.
There’s some that have got scraps in
Mostly film stars and pop stars and things like that,
scenes from films...
Some of them have got photographs in…
Some of them have got postcards in…
And there’s others, there’s one that’s got articles about flowers…
And while I was doing that I wasn’t worrying quite so much about Tom,
It got me through til he used to come home from work,
and at last I could relax a bit, what you reckon Ben?
Now look at these rare pictures Ben.
This is on the Isle of Capri, I would imagine,
it’s Gracie Fields in her…
and you must see some of her films they’re ever so good,
This is Gracie Fields in her old age…
with Cilla Black.
What d’you reckon dear?
What d’you reckon?
Yeah that’s Cilla Black would you believe?
Yes, hm, she’s not leaving much to the imagination is she?
Once in the garden
I did have a picture taken of me in a bikini
and my Mum had sown tassels on it as well, it did look rather attractive
rather like a Hawaiian skirt.
And I tell you two things about it
I did have picture of me in this bikini,
it was a pretty bikini as well,
green and mauve, it was beautiful colours,
and as I say my Mum had sown tassels on it, made it look like a Hawaiian skirt.
And two things about it:
I stood up in the garden and showed Lily Blows next door...
I saw her go like that,
she was absolutely horrified cos I was in a bikini,
I saw her jump, what d’you reckon.
And that photograph
I gave to Lorenzo
and another one where I’m in a swimsuit with a little skirt
and before he got with this other girl he had them on his wall he said,
what d’you reckon Ben?
Very defiant is this bit of paper.
But I’m making it.
I remember Aunt Evey said to my Mum one time
“How on earth…” cos I was married,
“How on earth…
does Kaye manage under her conditions
with sex in her life?”
And my Mum said “She hasn’t got it in her life.”
And Eveyln said “Oh?”
And my Mum said “No…
Tom was quite prepared,
to just go on,
he loved me, like my Dad did my Mum,
and and we didn’t have any…
after the about first 6 months, which wasn’t much anyway
we never had any more sexual relationship at all Ben.
Would you have wanted it though?
Um, I don’t know Ben, I don’t know,
I was very frightened of getting pregnant you see,
it would’ve been dreadful if I’d got pregnant
and under the circumstances I was glad not to have that worry on my mind.
But…
on the other hand
I was hot natured very much so.
And I remember… Lorenzo
who knows full well how hot natured I am,
he was riding bike up the road one time,
when he was living up the road,
And I called out…
for some reason or other in the conversation
that we were having as he was riding his bike up,
I yelled out to him: “I’m like a volcano”
and he yelled back “so am I”.
I sent some photos to Elaine, she wanted to know how big
these Wiltshire farm foods meals were.
And she said “are they little?” I said “No, they’re not little”
and I sent her some photographs of them, what d’you reckon Ben?
You’ve seen some of those photos I took of the different meals haven’t you?
– Yeah I have. – Yeah
Bangers and mash and Shepard’s pie and roast beef and Yorkshire pudding
I said no they’re… ooh
now I tell you what I smell with this Ben
Joanie on the corner would go mad,
I can smell pepper and I love pepper,
it’s, it’s, it’s spicy,
and there’s pepper in there,
and Joanie on the corner nearly goes mad,
she absolutely detests anything like…
onions, you know what she’s like,
onions or pepper, she always complaining in the shops about the stuff having pepper in,
“Pepper!”
I love a bit of pepper and
salt and pepper and a bit of spices, what d’you reckon Ben?
And I love onions.
And Measles loves these trays, he licks them all out
She licks them all out.
This is what happened, as you know my Mum married on the rebound,
I will tell all the story of that later, but she married on the rebound.
To be very honest with you she hardly had sex in her life anymore than I did.
And she said to me
“your Dad and I only went with each other five times” she said
“and you was one of them.”
And she said “I asked for my own bedroom”.
They always were good friends and
my Dad absolutely idolised my mother
and she said he was ever so annoyed when she asked that, but
she asked for own bedroom and that’s how it was,
she was in the big bedroom on the front and he was here.
But they did get on ever so well
and he idolised my mother and I know when she died
he said "I was so very lucky to have had her all these years"
and my Mum said to me, towards the end: “I suppose I do love him” she said.
But the thing was she’d been terribly jilted by a bloke that she absolutely idolised
I know exactly how she felt…
And she married on the rebound.
It’s something Ben I could never do, I could never marry on the rebound
I couldn’t do it, she did, some people do, some don’t, I couldn’t do it,
I’d rather go on the way I am…
single, and with all my friends, I have the most wonderful variety of friends
for which I thank the lord a hundred per cent.
But I could never marry on the rebound,
Ben I’m in love with Lorenzo and that’s how it is,
and nobody else will ever do, not that I expected to marry him, I didn’t,
but I did want to be with him, I wanted to be in his company a lot,
but he’s married somebody else, and I’d rather go on
being single,
I have had other offers actually would I marry them.
I tell you one, now keep quiet about this, but I tell you one of them
Down at the Post Office,
I don’t know if I ever told you this or not?
They’re a family business down at the Post Office,
and the Father said to me, not so long ago,
Did I tell you this Ben?
“Would you like to adopt somebody?”
And I said “Adopt somebody?” I said “Who?”
He said “Me.”
Oh, and I couldn’t help laughing Ben,
I like them tall, dark, handsome and young.
And when I told my friends they said “Oooooh”, what d’you reckon?
But that’s what he said what d’you reckon, and it’s only a little while ago dear.
Now Tom was very good to me,
and I love him for that, and I love him for the fact that he married me
in spite of fact that he knew I’d got the agoraphobia, it made no difference
he wanted to marry me and I love him for that, of course I do.
Lorenzo… I love him because…
Do you know what Ben,
I’m madly in love with Lorenzo
not only is he the most handsome man I’ve ever seen,
and Tom was pretty handsome,
and so are some of the actors of course, like for instance
Tyrone Power is for a start
and Elvis of course.
But um, Lorenzo…
to be very honest with you dear, Lorenzo fascinates me,
I’m a little frightened of him as well, because as he has a…
a big temper at times and he’s a… he’s a… he’s a …
source to be reckoned with, but he fascinates me.
I’ll get on the marker, wait a minute my dear.
We’re in business.
Now I tell you what I can see and how it is dear.
Hang on sweetheart.
Now I’m going to get a bit of the reflector in as well to show that um…
And I’ll do a tall one as well.
Oh this lovely Ben, yeah that’s lovely dear, I’m going to do it on three dear…
One
Two
Three
One, that’s it.
Wait a minute, I’ll do three for luck.
That’s a wide one.
Now I’ll do a tall one.
the tall way is more difficult.
That’s very good though.
One
Two
Three
That’s it.
And now we're going to do another wide one and I’m going to move for this dear.
I want to avoid these letters, I can see these letters, hang on a minute.
Oh that’s good, that’s good Ben, it’s lovely dear.
Now on three…
One
Two
Three
I know Alf from 200,
He went into somebody's house up the road
I rather think it's the house where Ann Flowers is now,
and there was a bloke there called Simon.
And Alf said
on his walls or something,
it might’ve been on the cupboard wall inside, I’m not sure
but on his wall somewhere he’d got um
nude pictures of his girlfriend and they were full frontal.
Alf said "oh yes" he said
he’d gone the whole way with it what d’you reckon Ben?
And this Simon,
I think he was a bit naughty anyway,
because I think somebody told me
they saw him out on the street and he was naked.
Yeah. Hiding behind a motor and he came out and oooooh.
Yeah, what d’you reckon?
If they’d be full frontal, I wouldn’t have dreamed of doing that
I wouldn’t have had them taken full frontal
and I certainly wouldn’t have put them on the wall,
but as it was only topless I did.
It was just a bit naughty.
Like Barbara Windsor, and she’s very popular
and very naughty in her times but
you can't help liking her,
my Dad loved her, especially as she came from the same area he did,
Shoreditch area,
nobody condemns Barbara Windsor,
she’s just a proper titter.
In more ways than one.
You wouldn’t have taken them in the past when you were younger?
Oh no!
Oh no Ben I wouldn’t
I wouldn’t done them
Or put them on show or anything like it
while Tom was around or my Dad.
How come?
Oooh, well Tom would be absolutely horrified and I think my Dad would too
Oh I wouldn’t have dreamt of doing it
it was when they were well and truly gone.
As a matter of fact
although…
of course Tom was very good in many ways
I tell you something Ben
although I’m on my own now, and I’m not really on my own because I’ve got all my lovely friends
but sweetheart there’s a lot to be said for your freedom.
I had eight birthday cards
and there are…
ten
silver wedding cards.
And two lovely bouquets of flowers
two silver plated cruet sets
Dad’s ten pound note
and as I say
Mum’s going to get us ‘Fantasia’
when it comes out in a few days time
in it’s original form, the only time that it’s going to
Disney video, wonderful film ‘Fantasia’
hi-fi stereo sound
And that’ll be out at the beginning of November they reckon.
Lovely.
Very very pretty.
Such a pretty show.
Happy silver wedding anniversary.
Now this
is sour apple.
And by Jove was it sour. That’s one.
And this one, which has still got some liquid in it,
I don’t quite know what it is. I didn’t know it had still got liquid in it.
Sweetheart, Lorenzo gave them to me.
And I tell you, the drinks he gave me, and he’s given me two bottles of drink
and two or three packets of drink
and a couple of drinks when I was up at Lumiere
and to be very honest with you
I’ve never liked any of them. They were horrible.
That’s why I’ve got those there, they’re Lorenzo’s.
And as I say this sour apple it really was sour.
Some times they talk about sour grapes, if somebody’s got sour grapes they’re saying something rotten about someone,
“Sour grapes” they say.
That’s sour apple. Oooh.
I don’t know how old he is, but I would think he’s round about the forty age now.
He may even be in the forties by now, he may be something like forty-two,
but somewhere round there yeah.
He didn’t come down in the last shower.
– There’s no pictures of him downstairs, is one thing I noticed.
– There’s no pictures of him downstairs is one thing I noticed. – Of who?
– Lorenzo. – Oh no I haven’t got any pictures of him no. No I haven’t dear.
The only picture I’ve got him is in my mind.
I have somewhere amongst the photographs, I tell you this,
amongst the photographs somewhere in Aladdin’s Cave
I actually have it, at one of the street parties
I have him sitting in the curb…
jawing to one of the girls, a French girl who sometimes worked in Lumiere,
and I’ve got the back of him, but you can see it’s Lorenzo alright.
And this is what went and happened: I said to him “here you are” I said “curb crawling”
and his face went nearly red with annoyance,
and oh dear, I thought me self “oh dear I’ve gone and put me foot in it now”
cos he was sitting in the curb you see and I said he was curb crawling, you know what that is?
Anyway, next time I went up to Lumiere, I said to him
I said “Lorenzo", I said "am I in the doghouse?”
“Why’s that?” he said I said “Because I said you was curb crawling?”
he said “Kaye…
you’ll never be in my doghouse.”
Yeah, what d’you reckon dear?
This eye shadow’s nearly run out.
I’ve just got a little bit left of this.
I’ve got some new ones.
Elaine got them for me online.
And she said when she looked up on her list of the things she’d got me
she was shocked at how much she had got me,
discs, cds, dvds, lipstick, eyeshadow, powder.
Sweetheart, would you believe we got together as Tom was dying?
And for about six months, it was very close…
He bought me a bracelet. It’s down there in the kitchen down there.
He sent me… he bought me some cream for my face,
expensive cream it was.
And he wrapped the bracelet round it, and on the piece of paper which he sent it with he put two kisses.
It was all going ever so well.
And he was one of the very first people I told that Tom had gone.
He came round from the laundry corner,
on his bike, and I was coming up, only two or three days before Tom had died.
And I said “Lorenzo” and he said “I haven’t got much time, what you got to say?”
I said, um, “Tom has gone.”
And he looked me and then he realised what I was saying.
He went to cuddle me, I said “No, no”.
And for about six months, yeah we were pretty thick Ben,
He’s been in here, in the house and all that, seen the photographs and all that round the walls,
and I do believe
it was going ever so well…
until this other girl came on the scene
and I had my chips.
Do you think he thought of you as more than a friend then?
Definitely. Definitely.
Definitely. As I say, to be very honest I did give him those topless pictures.
And he didn’t only say to me
they would’ve done alright for the top sex magazine,
he also said to me: “I feel very honoured”.
This picture of Jesus, which was Tom’s
I pray to it four or five times a day.
I don’t ask for riches, or anything like that, or to
be able to get further afield or anything like that.
But what I do ask is can I see Lorenzo.
When I was taking to Pauline and Deirdre yesterday
I meant to say “Eunice”,
I was going to tell them about the lovely dinner she sent in.
And I went and said something "Lorenzo”.
“Oh” I said, I said “It’s no good” I said, “He’s on my mind”
I said “He’s always on my mind”.
At times of course he goes out of my mind. When I’m doing other things, like this you see, or watching a film or something like that.
Or playing music of course.
But Ben, I can’t get him out of mind, he’s been there for seven years dear.
As Tom was dying I fell for Lorenzo, that’s the way it was meant to be.
I can’t get him out of my mind, it’s no good,
and I’m better off, seeing him once now and again, just that a couple words:
“Hi Kaye” or “Whacko Kaye”
and he waves to me.
Sometimes he even calls out “Hello darling”.
It means the world to me Ben.
At least I can tell myself Ben; he’s still on this Earth,
which is more than Tom, Mum and Dad are.
And that’s a big difference sweetheart, that makes a big big difference,
he’s still on this Earth, wherever he is,
he’s on this Earth,
like I am, and we all are.
Whereas with Tom, Mum and Dad,
and a lot of my friends, like Ruby and Alf of course and Lily and Jim, who were next door
a lot of them, they’re absolutely um…
out of bounds as it were, for the time being at least.
But at least I can tell myself, wherever he is
Lorenzo’s, like me, we’re both on this earth.
– Come on! – Alright
Ok! Good old James!
You sit down and get the girls.
Eh, come on girls.
Let’s hear the tune.
Come on old Jack.
Thirteen for Jack.
Fourteen for Choc.
Fourteen for Di, yeah, innit good?
And fourteen for Jack.
Fifteen for Choc.
– And fifteen for Di – What a lovely record.
Yeah, innit gorgeous. Fifteen for Jack.
Sixteen for Choc.
Sixteen for Di.
And sixteen for Jack.
Seventeen for Choc.
Seventeen for Di.
And seventeen for Jack.
Eighteen for Choc.
And eighteen for Di.
And eighteen for Jack.
Nineteen for Choc.
Nineteen for Di.
And nineteen for Jack
Twenty for Choc.
Twenty for Di.
And twenty for Jack.
Twenty one for Choc. Ooh yeah innit good.
Twenty one for Di.
And twenty one for Jack.
Twenty two for Choc.
Twenty two for Dinah.
And twenty two for Jack
Twenty three for Choc.
Twenty three for Dinah
And twenty three for Jack.
Twenty four for Choc.
Twenty four for Dinah.
And twenty four for Jack.
And one for luck for Choc.
And one for luck for Dinah
And one for luck for Jack
And two for luck for Choc
and three for the old man’s coconut.
And two for luck for Di and three for the old man’s coconut.
– And three for luck for Jack… – Wait a minute and we’ll hear the music.
Let me hear the music.
Innit lovely music?
Oh, it’s gorgeous Kaye.
Cliff Richard and Sarah Brightman, from the Phantom of The Opera.
Webber’s music.
Andrew Lloyd Webber that’s it.