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YTS.MX

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One of the greatest needs

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god has put into the heart
of every human being

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is for a father.

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All of us have a fatherhood story.

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We either can share
about how much we loved him

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and how much he meant to us...

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Or how deeply he hurt us.

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We see father wounds
all around us.

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The hurt, the bitterness...

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The anger...

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The unforgiveness.

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People who've grown up without a dad

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that was present
or loving in their homes...

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The word "father"
is not a good word for them.

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They're seeing
the brokenness of this world.

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They're struggling in their marriages.

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They're trying to provide
for their families.

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And they don't know
that they have a father.

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And his heart is tender towards us.

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If you've been looking for a father,

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if you've been wanting a daddy...

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If you want to experience
what it is to be fathered by god...

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Your perfect father in heaven
can change the trajectory of your life.

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Your daddy wants to restore you.

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There is a loving father
in heaven who has created us.

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And he wants a relationship with us.

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I got a full scholarship
to go to Miami university in Oxford, Ohio.

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The Seattle seahawks drafted me in 1976.

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I played seven years
with the Seattle seahawks.

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After that, that's when I got
into my teaching and coaching career.

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I love coaching
because of the relationships

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that you develop with the players.

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You get close with guys.

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Mental part is what makes the difference,

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doing the little stuff right,
because everybody's got physical talent.

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And so they know
who I am and what I'm all about.

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And that they know that I care about them.
They know that... I care about you.

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I want you to be successful.

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The crowd settles in
for super bowl xxxi v.

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St. Louis against Tennessee.

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We went to a super bowl in Tennessee.

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We were the Houston oilers,
then we moved to Tennessee.

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- We became the Tennessee titans.
- Into the end zone.

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I was hired by Pete carroll.

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I got to go back to Seattle
and spend seven years on his staff.

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Went to the playoffs
six out of seven years

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and two straight super bowls.

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I would always tell my players,
"if all you get from me is someone

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that teaches you
how to run the inside zone,

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someone that teaches you
how to run an option route,

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if that's all you get from me,
man, you can get that from a video."

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I said, "I pray that I give you something
that will take you beyond this,

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that will help you become a better man,
a better husband, a better father."

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I wanna make a difference
in the lives of young people,

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the way my father
made a difference in my life.

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And I would look at each guy that way,
like, "you are my son,"

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in the way I will relate to him.

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As a father would relate to a son,
as my father related to me.

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My dad was my hero growing up.

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His presence in our life...

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How he saw more in us
than what we saw in ourselves.

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Speaking to me as a black young man,

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not to hear the noise
that I was hearing from other people...

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Who was trying to tell us that,
"you are limited in what you could do

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and where you can live
and what you can be."

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Not only was that lie being sold to me
by those outside of my community,

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but there were people within my community
that had bought that lie also.

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They was telling me,
"going to college, you're just dreaming."

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And my father wasn't buying it.

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My father asked me a question, he said,

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"what do you wanna do
when you graduate from high school?"

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And I had a plan.

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Work in the steel mill, get a nice car,
and live in an apartment down the street.

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So he took me on a trip. Got in the car,
he said, "I don't want you to say a word."

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So we drove down
to that apartment complex,

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which was a public housing unit.

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He said, "don't buy the lie
that this is the only place you can live."

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We drove to that steel mill

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where my dad worked
for 30-something years.

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He said, "don't buy the lie
that this is the only place you can work.

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Son, you're better than that.
Don't buy the lie.

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You can do more than that right there.

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Hey, don't forget who your daddy is.

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Don't forget who you are."

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So my father, he was letting me know

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my identity
was supposed to impact my behavior.

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When I was in college,
I had this desire to wanna know god,

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but I'm a visual learner.

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I was talking
to people about christianity,

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they were telling me
what Jesus Christ could do for me.

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And I was looking at these people, saying:

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"Doesn't look like he's making
any difference in your life.

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You talk like I talk,
think like I think, go where I go."

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Quarterback sherman Smith

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takes the ball
through the Marshall defense.

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And so one day,
it was my senior year,

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right before the draft, I said: "God,

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I wanna know if you're for real.
I need somebody to show me."

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God responded and revealed himself to me.

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You know, training camp started,

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this one guy walks in,
big black guy, big, old barrel chest,

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and on the back of his shirt, it said:

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"Hutch is going to Seattle
to do god's battle."

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And I remember thinking
to myself, "oh, no, man. Here it is.

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I've come some 2000 miles

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to run into another one
of these 'christians."'

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I'm watching Ken hutcherson.

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We're having a relationship
because we talk and stuff.

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But I'm watching his life.

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I'm checking him out,
gonna see what this guy's all about.

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There was something different
about this guy.

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In our last preseason game,
he gets hurt, blows his knee out.

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Take him off the field,
word comes back down on the field

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that his career is over with.

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And he has ice packs on his knee
and he's got a smile on his face.

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And he just says, "sherm.

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Man, I'm excited."

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And I'm looking at him, "okay."

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"I'm excited
to see what god has planned for my life."

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He said, "sherm, I'm a Christian.
And nothing happens in my life

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that's not filtered
through god's hands first."

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He said, "I'm excited
to see what god has planned for my life."

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And right there,
I said, "this has to be for real.

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You can't fake that right there."

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And right there in that room, I said,
"please tell me more about Jesus Christ."

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He said, "god loves you.
God loves you so much

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that your sins are forgiven,
past, present and future."

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He said,
"not only did god love you so much,

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the thing that has happened
is god says he's gonna save you

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from the penalty of sin. He's
gonna save you from the presence of sin.

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But now, god
is gonna save you from the power of sin."

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I said, "lord Jesus, come into my life."

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Identity is the key to spiritual growth.

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You have to know who you are.

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My dad laid the foundation
for that thinking.

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And then when hutch came to me
and said, "don't you know who you are?"

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He was saying the same thing to me.

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"Don't you know your identity
is supposed to impact your behavior?"

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What a father is supposed to be

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Is a man who has accepted
the role and responsibility

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of transferring the character,
person, and purposes of god

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through him to his offspring.

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A father is the founder.
We talk about founding fathers.

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The word "father" means source
from which other things come.

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It can also mean "chief" or a "leader."

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Our heavenly father
is a source of blessing

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and love and provision
and protection and wisdom.

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And a father on earth

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should be receiving those things
from his heavenly father

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and pouring those out on his children.

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So he is the mirror,
the model, and the imprint.

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He's a mediary between heaven
and earth to the next generation.

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The problem
is that earthly fathers crack the mirror.

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So the mirror of the heavenly father
doesn't come through clearly.

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Today on focus on the family,
we 're gonna look at fatherlessness.

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Your host is focus president
and author, Jim daly, and I'm John Fuller.

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The research about fatherlessness
in america is heartbreaking.

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Ninety percent
of all homeless and runaway children

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are from fatherless homes.

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Eighty-five percent of all children
who show behavior disorders

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come from fatherless homes.

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Man, it really stacks the deck against us.

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I know this firsthand
because most of my childhood

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was spent without a father.

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Concept of fatherhood, for me, was tough.

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A father was somebody who hurt you,

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a father was somebody
who disappointed you.

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My biological father was an alcoholic.

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One day, he'd run his hand
through my hair and say he loves me,

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and the next night,
he'd be drunk, threatening me.

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One night, I was 5 years old,

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my dad was drunk,
sitting in a la-z-boy-type rocker,

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and he had a hammer in his hand.

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And he was banging the hammer
on the ground, saying,

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"I'm gonna kill your mother
when she gets home."

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I looked at the walls,
and the walls of our house had holes.

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He had been hitting the hammer
through the walls.

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My siblings put me
in my mom's bedroom and tucked me in.

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I remember as a 5-year-old
pulling those blankets up to my neck,

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feeling like
this is the only protection I had.

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Next thing I knew,
a police officer walked through the door,

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right when his partner
was putting my dad in the police car.

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And then they drove away.

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Next day, we were on the move.

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I think we lived
in seven different houses,

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kind of running from my dad.

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My mom remarried actually
to kind of a real aggressive guy.

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Hank was his name.
I called him "Hank the tank."

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He was an ex-military dude.

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Used to do a white-glove test
every Saturday morning in our house.

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One time, I didn't hang myjacket up,
and he came in and said,

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"hey, hang up that jacket 500 times
and yell out the number.

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Follow the rules or be crushed."

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I remember one day,
the bedroom door was slightly ajar,

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and I heard my mom yell for me, "Jimmy!"

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It was weak,
but I went in and I was shocked

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because she looked frail. She was thinner.

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But I didn't think anything else
other than maybe she just...

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You know, she was pretty sick.

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My mom was not doing well.
I didn't know what was wrong with her,

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but Hank
would look her inside the bedroom

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and I'd go weeks without seeing my mom,

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even living in the same house.
And Hank would always threaten me:

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"Don't bother your mother.
You're gonna wear her down."

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One day,
my brother was back from the Navy.

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He was 19, I was 9.

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He started calling
each one of us into the bedroom.

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And iwalked in
and my big brother put me on his knee,

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and he said, "I don't know
how to tell you this, but mom's dead."

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I dug my fingers
into his forearm so deeply, his arm bled.

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We go to the funeral a few days later.

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And we get home and all
of our stuff was sold, all our furniture.

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There was a box
of our goods in the living room.

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Hank came out
of the master bedroom with his bags packed

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and said, "I'm leaving.
I can't take the pressure

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of four or five kids."

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And he got into a taxi and took off.

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And my brother said, "I've got a friend.
Their family's gonna take us in.

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We're gonna be foster kids."

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We moved to this little town,
a desert town called morongo valley.

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It was chaos.
I mean, that place was not healthy.

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Six months
into being at this foster family,

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the social worker came out,
and she said, "we've got a problem."

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And I thought, finally, an adult
that understands what I'm going through.

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And the foster father accuses me
of trying to murder him, as a 9-year-old.

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He was struggling
with some mental issues, I think.

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I'm thinking, do adults tell the truth?

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Do fathers tell the truth?

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After being there a year,
my dad showed up.

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He tracked us down.
He said, "hey, I heard mom died.

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I've been trying to find you.
I'm sorry what's happened."

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He asked the question,
"would you like to live with me?"

235
00:17:09,946 --> 00:17:14,075
But it was kind of that feeling
of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, you know?

236
00:17:14,158 --> 00:17:16,285
If you come up in an alcoholic home,

237
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:18,246
you don't know
which father you're gonna get.

238
00:17:18,329 --> 00:17:21,832
The good guy or the bad guy?

239
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,961
But I was desperate. I'll take either one.

240
00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:29,257
I moved in with my dad.
And it was rocky for that year.

241
00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:32,134
My siblings
didn't think I should live with him.

242
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:35,721
And the master plan
was for me to move in with my brother.

243
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:39,600
He had just married
his 16-year-old girlfriend.

244
00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:46,649
And the family wanted me to tell my father
that I couldn't live with him.

245
00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:50,278
So we had a family conference
in this living room.

246
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:53,864
I remember
having to look at my father. I'm now 11.

247
00:17:54,365 --> 00:17:55,616
And I look at him and I say:

248
00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:59,036
"Hey, I don't think
I should live with you anymore."

249
00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:01,330
And he looked at me and said, "why not?"

250
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:06,085
And I remember exactly what I said to him.

251
00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:12,008
I said, "you haven't been a good father
and you didn't treat morn really well."

252
00:18:13,384 --> 00:18:18,639
And to his credit, he stood up
and walked over to me and hugged me.

253
00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:22,727
He said, "you know what?
I haven't been a good father.

254
00:18:23,894 --> 00:18:25,563
And I wasn't a good husband.

255
00:18:26,147 --> 00:18:27,189
But I love you."

256
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:40,494
And four months later, he was found dead
in an abandoned building, drunk.

257
00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:43,956
He had fallen asleep and froze to death.

258
00:18:47,168 --> 00:18:50,338
Those were the last words
I had for my dad.

259
00:18:50,421 --> 00:18:52,340
"You're not a very good father."

260
00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:56,927
And, you know, I regret that to this day.

261
00:19:03,726 --> 00:19:04,977
I move in with my brother.

262
00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:08,564
I go through junior high
and starting high school.

263
00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:09,565
I like sports.

264
00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,901
I play football, basketball, baseball.

265
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:15,321
I find structure in those things, I think.

266
00:19:16,906 --> 00:19:21,285
Sophomore year, got a new football coach
at our high school, coach Paul morrow.

267
00:19:21,369 --> 00:19:25,289
And he just commanded respect
right from the get-go.

268
00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:30,419
So I remember the first two-a-days,
it's like 100 degrees.

269
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:35,508
And he pulls me out of the line
and grabs me by the facemask and says:

270
00:19:35,591 --> 00:19:37,593
"If you're gonna be a quarterback

271
00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:40,638
for this team,
you gotta win at these wind sprints.

272
00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:42,515
Gotta demonstrate leadership."

273
00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:47,103
And it's the first time
I'd been called out like that.

274
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:50,439
And I would say
that I went from a boy to a man

275
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,983
under coach Paul morrow.

276
00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:57,613
He started inviting me over
to his house for dinner.

277
00:19:57,697 --> 00:20:00,449
"Why don't you come to my house,
have tacos? We got taco Tuesday."

278
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:04,078
His wife, Joyce, would make,
you know, like a thousand tacos

279
00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:07,873
for us guys that would show up
and we'd scarf these things down.

280
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:10,167
Eventually, he asked me

281
00:20:10,251 --> 00:20:12,795
if I'd like to go to a fellowship
of Christian athletes camp.

282
00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:16,757
I said, "don't got the money for that." He
said, "no. Joyce and I will pay for that."

283
00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:22,388
So I go to this fca camp.

284
00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:24,432
And there's a guy
from the San Diego chargers,

285
00:20:24,515 --> 00:20:25,891
and he gave a message.

286
00:20:25,975 --> 00:20:29,103
And we're clowning around,
like, all we wanna do is play football.

287
00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:32,606
At night, we're "oh, man,
another boring Christian speaker.

288
00:20:32,690 --> 00:20:34,316
I mean, really. Come on."

289
00:20:35,109 --> 00:20:38,571
Anyway, this guy gets up there, and
he goes, "has your father let you down?

290
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:41,323
Has your stepfather let you down?"

291
00:20:49,707 --> 00:20:51,250
And it just pulled me in.

292
00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:55,171
"I'm gonna introduce you
to somebody who'll never let you down,

293
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:56,839
and that's Jesus Christ."

294
00:20:56,922 --> 00:21:00,593
And he just kept talking.
And I just was compelled.

295
00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:03,220
He said, "come down here
if you want that relationship

296
00:21:03,304 --> 00:21:05,514
with a father that you've never had."

297
00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:10,019
And I was there,
in tears, bawling, "I want that father."

298
00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:13,022
That night, I gave my life to the lord.

299
00:21:14,648 --> 00:21:17,276
It didn't change everything overnight.

300
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:20,529
I mean, I still had many valleys.

301
00:21:21,071 --> 00:21:24,575
But, eventually, it lined up.

302
00:21:24,658 --> 00:21:28,370
And I will forever be indebted
to coach Paul morrow.

303
00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:33,000
He was that first man that paid attention
to me, that seemed to care about me.

304
00:21:33,083 --> 00:21:36,337
He was treating me like a dad would.

305
00:21:46,222 --> 00:21:49,975
Every child needs a godly father.

306
00:21:50,059 --> 00:21:52,603
But that may not be
your biological father.

307
00:21:53,270 --> 00:21:57,233
It may be someone
who accepts that role in your life,

308
00:21:58,025 --> 00:22:02,780
to bring
the heavenly father's perspective to you,

309
00:22:02,863 --> 00:22:07,201
and to take the principles
of what he is like and mirror them,

310
00:22:07,284 --> 00:22:08,911
model them before you.

311
00:22:09,495 --> 00:22:12,623
In the same way
that Jesus became the visual image

312
00:22:12,706 --> 00:22:14,416
of the heavenly father,

313
00:22:15,209 --> 00:22:20,089
men should become
the visible image of that father,

314
00:22:20,172 --> 00:22:24,009
as modelled by Christ,
to those who still need to be fathered.

315
00:22:42,653 --> 00:22:46,365
My dad ended up leaving
when I was around 3 or 4 years old.

316
00:22:49,285 --> 00:22:51,620
My mom, you know,
was continuing to do the best she can.

317
00:22:51,704 --> 00:22:53,706
Odd jobs here and there, and...

318
00:22:55,541 --> 00:22:59,086
I might be, wow, 5 or 6.

319
00:22:59,169 --> 00:23:01,589
My mom just told
the person she was sitting there with,

320
00:23:01,672 --> 00:23:05,217
she told him, she's like, "when we
adopted deland..." And this and that.

321
00:23:05,301 --> 00:23:07,720
I remember looking up
saying, "I'm adopted?"

322
00:23:07,803 --> 00:23:10,973
I can't remember what her response was.
She just kind of kept on going.

323
00:23:11,056 --> 00:23:13,559
She was like, "yeah,"
and she kept doing what she was doing.

324
00:23:16,353 --> 00:23:18,731
My mom started seeing another person.

325
00:23:19,356 --> 00:23:22,693
He had spent time in jail.
We had to go up and visit him.

326
00:23:23,277 --> 00:23:24,361
Ineverhkedit

327
00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:31,285
it was almost like we were sacrificing
being in that type of situation,

328
00:23:31,368 --> 00:23:34,496
for what I guess we thought
would be a back-end reward

329
00:23:34,580 --> 00:23:38,250
of a guy getting out of jail,
who was gonna do the right things

330
00:23:38,334 --> 00:23:41,003
and do right by my mom
and by me and my brother.

331
00:23:41,086 --> 00:23:43,839
Um, that... that is not what happened.

332
00:23:46,133 --> 00:23:49,345
I think some of the anger
or the resentment that I held

333
00:23:49,428 --> 00:23:51,805
towards the males that I was exposed to,

334
00:23:51,889 --> 00:23:54,266
I had a major problem with those guys.

335
00:23:55,434 --> 00:23:59,104
I was really looking past
those times and those instances

336
00:23:59,188 --> 00:24:02,733
with those guys to just a better life.

337
00:24:03,484 --> 00:24:06,070
I prayed for me and my brother and my mom

338
00:24:06,153 --> 00:24:08,822
to get through this night,
or whatever it is.

339
00:24:10,115 --> 00:24:13,953
I just wanted to get past this,
this period of time in my life,

340
00:24:14,036 --> 00:24:16,330
that I could start
doing something on my own.

341
00:24:17,206 --> 00:24:19,625
Campbell memorial
had quite a shootout tonight,

342
00:24:19,708 --> 00:24:23,295
as they were battling it out
for the mahoning valley conference title.

343
00:24:24,296 --> 00:24:27,466
So going into my senior year,
things really took off.

344
00:24:27,549 --> 00:24:29,551
McCullough will take it the last 11.

345
00:24:29,635 --> 00:24:33,389
Touchdown here! They go up 27-22.

346
00:24:33,472 --> 00:24:35,933
I said, "well, I'm not staying here.

347
00:24:36,016 --> 00:24:39,311
I'll tell you that right now.
If nothing happens, I'm not staying here."

348
00:24:40,729 --> 00:24:42,731
That's when the switch flipped for me.

349
00:24:42,815 --> 00:24:46,485
I said, "I might be smaller
than them guys," at that time.

350
00:24:46,568 --> 00:24:49,279
"But nobody is gonna work harder than me."

351
00:24:49,363 --> 00:24:51,490
I was in a position
to start getting recruited.

352
00:24:51,573 --> 00:24:53,909
Sherman Smith came to recruit me.

353
00:24:54,702 --> 00:24:58,122
In 1989, I coached at Miami of Ohio.

354
00:24:58,205 --> 00:25:01,208
We had decided we were going
to recruit deland McCullough.

355
00:25:01,291 --> 00:25:03,979
McCullough, he is
gonna break through a couple tackles.

356
00:25:04,003 --> 00:25:04,920
He ran hard.

357
00:25:05,004 --> 00:25:07,006
He's a straight-line runner.

358
00:25:07,506 --> 00:25:10,586
- Into the end zone.
- Man, he was just getting it.

359
00:25:10,968 --> 00:25:13,679
You know, this guy
was just trying to get away.

360
00:25:14,304 --> 00:25:17,057
So I was fortunate that I was able
to recruit in my hometown area,

361
00:25:17,141 --> 00:25:18,225
youngstown, Ohio.

362
00:25:19,351 --> 00:25:22,771
I go to his high school, his senior year,

363
00:25:22,855 --> 00:25:26,942
and he comes downstairs
and, you know, I introduced myself.

364
00:25:28,277 --> 00:25:29,945
And I went down, it was like a movie.

365
00:25:30,029 --> 00:25:31,780
He had his back turned, he turned around,

366
00:25:31,864 --> 00:25:36,160
he said, "I'm sherman Smith,
running back coach from Miami university."

367
00:25:36,243 --> 00:25:41,832
And he was well-spoken, and put together,
and smart, played in the NFL.

368
00:25:42,666 --> 00:25:45,335
I'm blown away
because I'd never seen a person

369
00:25:45,419 --> 00:25:48,213
face-to-face, you know, from youngstown

370
00:25:48,297 --> 00:25:50,466
who had accomplished
what he had accomplished.

371
00:25:50,549 --> 00:25:53,218
It was the same day
that I did a home visit

372
00:25:53,302 --> 00:25:56,430
and went to his home,
and I met his mom, Adele.

373
00:25:56,972 --> 00:26:00,976
I told deland, "this is the type of man
that you need to be around."

374
00:26:01,060 --> 00:26:03,645
Somebody like Mr. Smith, coach Smith.

375
00:26:06,982 --> 00:26:08,984
I remember I drove them to campus,

376
00:26:09,068 --> 00:26:12,946
because at that time, they didn't have
the means to get there on their own.

377
00:26:13,697 --> 00:26:17,743
Four and a half hours
in the car there and back, just to talk.

378
00:26:20,037 --> 00:26:21,872
I loved it up there, you know.

379
00:26:23,082 --> 00:26:26,168
And I just was looking
at coach Smith as somebody,

380
00:26:26,251 --> 00:26:29,922
I'm like,
"this is a guy I can learn a lot from

381
00:26:30,005 --> 00:26:32,633
and just continue
to form a connection with,"

382
00:26:32,716 --> 00:26:36,261
so I end up,
you know, committing to Miami.

383
00:26:37,054 --> 00:26:41,100
After coach Smith, the other schools
didn't make a difference at that point.

384
00:26:54,279 --> 00:26:57,574
I wanted to make a difference
in deland's life, no doubt about it.

385
00:26:57,658 --> 00:26:58,826
We just talked.

386
00:26:58,909 --> 00:27:03,038
All I knew of him
was as the running back coach for Miami.

387
00:27:03,122 --> 00:27:05,082
Man, I wanna live to glorify god.

388
00:27:05,165 --> 00:27:07,167
I wanna be a difference maker.

389
00:27:07,251 --> 00:27:09,545
I wanna be a mentor, an example.

390
00:27:09,628 --> 00:27:13,132
Then it's not something that you do,
it's who you are.

391
00:27:13,215 --> 00:27:16,552
His character and everything
came through immediately,

392
00:27:16,635 --> 00:27:18,470
and that's what drew me to him.

393
00:27:19,471 --> 00:27:21,191
When you meet guys,
you don't know

394
00:27:21,223 --> 00:27:22,903
if they don't have a father in their life.

395
00:27:22,933 --> 00:27:26,979
You don't know what they have.
Your conversation may not get that deep.

396
00:27:27,563 --> 00:27:30,941
I liked what he stood for
and the way he carried himself.

397
00:27:31,483 --> 00:27:34,862
Like I always say to my players,
"you may not be looking for a father,

398
00:27:34,945 --> 00:27:36,530
but I'm gonna treat you like my son."

399
00:27:37,531 --> 00:27:41,243
I could just imagine him
being, you know, a great father.

400
00:27:41,910 --> 00:27:45,581
In the way he treated us,
the way he treated the running backs.

401
00:27:45,664 --> 00:27:48,083
The type of person he was, he was strong.

402
00:27:49,251 --> 00:27:53,088
Going through that first semester and just
excited and feeling good about everything.

403
00:27:53,172 --> 00:27:55,424
That's when coach Smith, he ended up...

404
00:27:56,049 --> 00:27:58,343
He got a job
at the university of Illinois.

405
00:27:59,595 --> 00:28:00,929
That was tough.

406
00:28:02,181 --> 00:28:04,516
He was the reason that I went to Miami.

407
00:28:06,810 --> 00:28:10,189
From my life experiences,
you learn how to adapt.

408
00:28:10,272 --> 00:28:13,400
I'm like, "hey,
I've dealt with a whole lot worse,

409
00:28:13,483 --> 00:28:14,693
with guys leaving my life."

410
00:28:14,776 --> 00:28:17,529
You know what I'm saying?
I mean, some guys went out with a bang.

411
00:28:17,613 --> 00:28:20,699
He didn't go out with...
He was solid for me

412
00:28:20,782 --> 00:28:23,619
all the way up until he left,
and was respectful when he left.

413
00:28:24,244 --> 00:28:25,495
So I was good.

414
00:28:25,579 --> 00:28:27,581
I was good with the next move.

415
00:28:28,207 --> 00:28:31,001
He put his name
in the record book at Miami university.

416
00:28:31,084 --> 00:28:34,046
Matter of fact, deland McCullough
is the all-time leading rusher

417
00:28:34,129 --> 00:28:35,464
in the mid-American conference.

418
00:28:35,964 --> 00:28:40,344
And yet he enters the NFL
feeling he still has a lot to prove.

419
00:28:43,513 --> 00:28:46,516
I was like the sixth-string guy,
coming into training camp.

420
00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:49,019
And by the end, I was the number one guy.

421
00:28:50,395 --> 00:28:51,813
"I'm gonna be a hard-working guy.

422
00:28:51,897 --> 00:28:55,859
I'm gonna try to be the best person
I can be, flaws like everybody.

423
00:28:56,610 --> 00:29:00,906
But I wanna create something more positive
for myself and for my family."

424
00:29:02,783 --> 00:29:06,745
We go into the last preseason game
with two minutes left.

425
00:29:07,496 --> 00:29:10,540
And I get my knee blown out.

426
00:29:18,131 --> 00:29:20,133
Needless to say, a major setback.

427
00:29:20,801 --> 00:29:24,763
And, you know,
the interview after my knee injury,

428
00:29:24,846 --> 00:29:26,598
and have the media and everybody say,

429
00:29:26,682 --> 00:29:29,309
"hey, you were supposed to be the starter
the following week."

430
00:29:29,935 --> 00:29:32,854
I felt like right then,
everything was validated.

431
00:29:32,938 --> 00:29:38,277
You know, if I never played another play,
I showed I could play on this level.

432
00:29:46,410 --> 00:29:49,663
I had two acl surgeries on my right knee.

433
00:29:49,746 --> 00:29:53,375
I was done at that point.
I said, "I gotta start working.

434
00:29:55,168 --> 00:29:56,878
Would love to do something in coaching."

435
00:29:57,462 --> 00:30:00,257
And then here I am,
you know, now at Miami,

436
00:30:00,340 --> 00:30:05,554
I'm a 37-year-old intern,
basically, at my Alma mater,

437
00:30:05,637 --> 00:30:08,724
which is weird, like, "okay, I'm looking
at my picture all over the place,

438
00:30:08,807 --> 00:30:11,768
but I'm the lowest level guy
on the staff."

439
00:30:11,852 --> 00:30:13,061
But it's all good.

440
00:30:15,731 --> 00:30:17,065
I'm there, I'm loving it,

441
00:30:17,149 --> 00:30:19,943
and I get a call
from the head coach at Indiana.

442
00:30:20,027 --> 00:30:22,487
He offered me a job
as a running back coach.

443
00:30:23,947 --> 00:30:28,327
Put a bunch of guys in the NFL,
and, you know, kind of Rose up the ranks.

444
00:30:28,952 --> 00:30:33,415
So I'm like, "wow. You know,
I just got in this and just took off."

445
00:30:33,498 --> 00:30:35,917
As he was coaching at Indiana university,

446
00:30:36,001 --> 00:30:40,255
he would call me up, we'd talk
about coaching techniques and questions.

447
00:30:40,339 --> 00:30:42,966
I wasn't saying,
"I'm gonna do what coach Smith did."

448
00:30:43,050 --> 00:30:44,217
It just happened.

449
00:30:44,301 --> 00:30:46,970
"I'm gonna call deland up tonight,
give me some drills for this.

450
00:30:47,054 --> 00:30:48,764
Give me this. Give me that."

451
00:30:48,847 --> 00:30:52,726
So we had that kind of relationship,
a coach-friend relationship.

452
00:30:52,809 --> 00:30:55,270
And we're both from youngstown.
We both went to Miami.

453
00:30:55,354 --> 00:30:58,815
The time we spent together,
our relationship, talking on the phone.

454
00:30:58,899 --> 00:31:01,234
Both of us going to play pro ball,

455
00:31:01,318 --> 00:31:03,779
both of our careers end
because of knee surgeries.

456
00:31:03,862 --> 00:31:08,283
I tell all my players this,
that they made a difference in my life.

457
00:31:08,367 --> 00:31:09,993
I got something from them.

458
00:31:10,077 --> 00:31:13,789
Our next job both was in the big 10.
He went to Illinois, I went to Indiana.

459
00:31:13,872 --> 00:31:15,582
This is why I do what I do.

460
00:31:15,665 --> 00:31:18,543
This is why I do it, for guys like that.

461
00:31:20,587 --> 00:31:25,425
Fatherhood on earth actually
comes from the fatherhood of god.

462
00:31:25,509 --> 00:31:27,886
God didn't look down
on something he created,

463
00:31:27,969 --> 00:31:31,390
and says, "hey, I like that.
I'm gonna call myself father."

464
00:31:31,473 --> 00:31:35,227
No. From the very beginning,
he, as the perfect father,

465
00:31:35,310 --> 00:31:39,731
created fatherhood on earth
as an introduction to who he is.

466
00:31:41,483 --> 00:31:43,860
So a father should view himself

467
00:31:43,944 --> 00:31:47,948
as a provider of not
just physical things for his family,

468
00:31:48,031 --> 00:31:51,410
but spiritual example
and nourishment for his children.

469
00:31:53,995 --> 00:31:57,833
A father has to also be
a strong protector for his family.

470
00:31:58,500 --> 00:32:02,129
We see families falling apart
when fathers don't step in

471
00:32:02,212 --> 00:32:06,425
and protect their wives, protect
their children, protect their families.

472
00:32:07,467 --> 00:32:11,346
Another role a father has
is to be a loving leader.

473
00:32:11,430 --> 00:32:16,268
Not passive on the sidelines, but
stepping up and leading by his example.

474
00:32:16,351 --> 00:32:20,355
Coaching his kids with clear direction
and leading them with love,

475
00:32:20,939 --> 00:32:22,441
winning the hearts of his children.

476
00:32:23,442 --> 00:32:27,070
A father has to also be
a truthful teacher to his children.

477
00:32:27,154 --> 00:32:28,989
If there's something
you want them to learn,

478
00:32:29,072 --> 00:32:31,199
you take responsibility
for teaching it to them.

479
00:32:34,035 --> 00:32:37,038
A father should be
a willing helper to his children.

480
00:32:37,122 --> 00:32:40,625
A father should voluntarily
look for ways to serve his kids.

481
00:32:40,709 --> 00:32:45,046
Getting his hands dirty, helping
to meet their practical day-to-day needs.

482
00:32:45,797 --> 00:32:49,801
A father
is also to be a hopeful encourager.

483
00:32:49,885 --> 00:32:52,429
Cheering his kids on towards success,

484
00:32:52,512 --> 00:32:54,764
walking them through the hard times,

485
00:32:54,848 --> 00:32:56,933
and giving them hope for the future.

486
00:32:57,017 --> 00:32:59,728
As kids get older, a father will shift.

487
00:32:59,811 --> 00:33:03,148
He will take on the role
of being a compassionate friend.

488
00:33:03,231 --> 00:33:06,568
Even as a father
shows compassion on his children,

489
00:33:06,651 --> 00:33:09,029
so god also shows compassion on us.

490
00:33:10,322 --> 00:33:13,658
We should view fatherhood
as an introduction

491
00:33:13,742 --> 00:33:17,787
to the fatherhood of god,
and dads should ask god to help them

492
00:33:17,871 --> 00:33:21,958
to be a good representation
of who he is to their own children.

493
00:33:29,007 --> 00:33:32,260
A big day in New York City
for Ohio state tailback Eddie George.

494
00:33:32,344 --> 00:33:34,763
It is my pleasure to announce the winner.

495
00:33:35,222 --> 00:33:38,141
Eddie George, Ohio state!

496
00:33:41,978 --> 00:33:46,233
To have my father proud,
to have him in the stands cheering.

497
00:33:46,650 --> 00:33:49,194
Um, feeling good about his life.

498
00:33:49,778 --> 00:33:53,448
That was my sole purpose
of playing the game of football.

499
00:33:57,869 --> 00:34:01,998
I must have been about 9 or 10 years old,

500
00:34:02,082 --> 00:34:04,709
my mother told me
he had a nervous breakdown,

501
00:34:04,793 --> 00:34:09,589
and he just resorted
to ease the pain through substance abuse,

502
00:34:09,673 --> 00:34:12,217
and he was a garbage-can junkie.

503
00:34:14,553 --> 00:34:17,973
The year that he connected with me
was the year I won the heisman.

504
00:34:18,056 --> 00:34:19,641
And people around me were like,

505
00:34:19,724 --> 00:34:25,397
"he's only coming back because he sees
the potential in you going to the NFL

506
00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:27,065
and he wants something from you."

507
00:34:27,148 --> 00:34:28,148
I didn't care.

508
00:34:28,567 --> 00:34:30,235
I didn't care.

509
00:34:30,986 --> 00:34:34,489
I wanted my father.
I always was looking for my father.

510
00:34:40,245 --> 00:34:42,622
The Houston oilers
select Eddie George,

511
00:34:42,706 --> 00:34:44,624
running back from Ohio state.

512
00:34:47,919 --> 00:34:51,006
1996, I was drafted
by the Houston oilers, where I...

513
00:34:51,089 --> 00:34:55,176
That's where I first met coach sherman,
who was my running back coach.

514
00:34:56,678 --> 00:34:58,638
Eddie took charge from day one.

515
00:34:58,722 --> 00:35:02,684
There was no question
in anyone's mind that he was special.

516
00:35:06,438 --> 00:35:10,191
Out the gate, coach sherman
called me big cat.

517
00:35:10,984 --> 00:35:14,404
He said, "big cat,
glad to have you, glad we drafted you."

518
00:35:15,196 --> 00:35:17,282
And I just got
a good feeling about sherman

519
00:35:17,365 --> 00:35:20,201
because he was young, approachable.

520
00:35:20,910 --> 00:35:27,375
And he was just someone
that I felt like I could grow under.

521
00:35:28,543 --> 00:35:31,546
Sherman felt more like a father
than he did a coach.

522
00:35:33,131 --> 00:35:37,677
I get a phone call from my girlfriend
at the time that she was pregnant.

523
00:35:38,637 --> 00:35:42,349
And I'm not ready
to be a father at 22 years old.

524
00:35:43,224 --> 00:35:44,559
And I panicked.

525
00:35:45,310 --> 00:35:48,897
And sherman pulls me aside.

526
00:35:48,980 --> 00:35:51,483
And he says, "man, listen, calm down.

527
00:35:51,566 --> 00:35:53,985
It is a beautiful thing to have a child.

528
00:35:54,653 --> 00:35:58,490
When all the emotions settle down,
you wanna do what's best for your son."

529
00:36:00,075 --> 00:36:05,080
He says, "man up,
take on your responsibility.

530
00:36:05,163 --> 00:36:06,790
Be a father to your son.

531
00:36:07,791 --> 00:36:13,004
Be in his life, not just be a paycheck,
but really be there for your son."

532
00:36:13,088 --> 00:36:16,216
And he helped me
get through that emotionally.

533
00:36:17,550 --> 00:36:22,263
At that particular moment,
sherman Smith was the perfect fit for me.

534
00:36:22,347 --> 00:36:26,810
He was the father figure
that I needed at that point in time.

535
00:36:29,854 --> 00:36:34,401
Sherman was always that second father
figure for me when I was playing sports.

536
00:36:34,484 --> 00:36:39,197
He treated his guys like that.
Sherm was big on responsibility now.

537
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:42,283
I mean, because as a player,
you had to be responsible for your job,

538
00:36:42,367 --> 00:36:43,827
or you'd mess up the whole team.

539
00:36:43,910 --> 00:36:47,163
And so he's letting us know
that being responsible as a fullback,

540
00:36:47,247 --> 00:36:50,375
being responsible as a running back,
being responsible with the ball

541
00:36:50,458 --> 00:36:53,420
that you're given to carry,
not dropping it.

542
00:36:53,503 --> 00:36:56,256
And he would carry that into life,
"don't drop the ball now,

543
00:36:56,339 --> 00:36:58,883
because it's not
somebody else's responsibility

544
00:36:58,967 --> 00:37:00,593
to carry what you've been given."

545
00:37:02,762 --> 00:37:05,515
So we talked about
being the type of person you wanna be.

546
00:37:05,598 --> 00:37:08,476
Man, if you're a dependable,
accountable, responsible person,

547
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:10,603
that goes with you on the football field.

548
00:37:10,687 --> 00:37:13,231
You don't leave
who you are in the locker room.

549
00:37:13,314 --> 00:37:15,483
You take that with you,
that's who you are.

550
00:37:16,151 --> 00:37:17,652
You can't compartmentalize,

551
00:37:17,736 --> 00:37:20,447
"well, I'm a dependable,
accountable, responsible football player,

552
00:37:20,530 --> 00:37:24,617
but I'm an irresponsible father,
husband, man."

553
00:37:24,701 --> 00:37:26,828
It doesn't go together. It doesn't work.

554
00:37:26,911 --> 00:37:29,748
So, what he was doing
was feeding our spirit

555
00:37:29,831 --> 00:37:32,083
about what it means to be a godly man.

556
00:37:34,169 --> 00:37:36,463
Being a father is very important.

557
00:37:36,546 --> 00:37:39,591
It's not just talk,
there's gotta be an action.

558
00:37:39,674 --> 00:37:42,385
It has to be authentic, it has to be real.

559
00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:57,066
One of the principles in scripture
is the principle of adoption.

560
00:37:57,150 --> 00:38:04,157
That we have been adopted into a family
where god is our father.

561
00:38:04,699 --> 00:38:08,787
God doesn't just wanna be
a distant acquaintance to us.

562
00:38:08,870 --> 00:38:11,664
He doesn't just wanna be
a mentor or a provider.

563
00:38:11,748 --> 00:38:14,584
He wants to be a loving father to us.

564
00:38:14,667 --> 00:38:17,629
When we place our faith in Jesus,
the scripture says:

565
00:38:17,712 --> 00:38:20,799
"The father adopts us into his family."

566
00:38:20,882 --> 00:38:23,426
We become his beloved children.

567
00:38:23,510 --> 00:38:27,639
We now have access
to his ear and his heart and his throne.

568
00:38:27,722 --> 00:38:33,269
So there is a relational component
to our salvation that's not theoretical,

569
00:38:33,353 --> 00:38:35,146
but is very practical.

570
00:38:47,784 --> 00:38:51,830
One day, my wife and I were
on an airplane flying to New York City.

571
00:38:52,330 --> 00:38:56,167
I'm sitting on the airplane, I'm spending
some time reading the scriptures.

572
00:38:56,251 --> 00:38:58,711
And I was reading in John, chapter 10.

573
00:38:59,379 --> 00:39:01,673
"I have other sheep
that are not of this fold

574
00:39:01,756 --> 00:39:04,008
that I must bring
to be a part of this fold."

575
00:39:04,092 --> 00:39:09,055
I'm looking at this passage of scripture
and god speaks to my heart, crystal clear.

576
00:39:09,138 --> 00:39:11,724
It wasn't audible,
but he communicates to me,

577
00:39:11,808 --> 00:39:14,227
"I want you to be open to adoption."

578
00:39:14,310 --> 00:39:16,604
This was totally unexpected.

579
00:39:16,688 --> 00:39:19,274
And I turned to my wife, and I said:

580
00:39:19,357 --> 00:39:22,652
"I think god wants us
to be open to adoption."

581
00:39:22,735 --> 00:39:26,614
Well, she smiles,
and I didn't realize that she had been

582
00:39:26,698 --> 00:39:30,952
praying for me for two years that god
would turn my heart towards adoption.

583
00:39:31,035 --> 00:39:33,746
I felt like
the lord was confirming something

584
00:39:33,830 --> 00:39:36,624
that he'd been stirring
in my heart for years.

585
00:39:36,708 --> 00:39:39,335
A friend of mine
was in the process of adopting,

586
00:39:39,419 --> 00:39:42,005
and she was sharing about

587
00:39:42,088 --> 00:39:44,883
The kids in orphanages in China

588
00:39:44,966 --> 00:39:49,721
that didn't have a mom and dad,
and I was sold.

589
00:39:56,227 --> 00:40:00,315
So I wrote down in my Bible "adoption"
next to that verse, and I dated it.

590
00:40:00,899 --> 00:40:02,692
Fast fonnard two years.

591
00:40:02,775 --> 00:40:06,362
We filled out all the papennork,
and then they begin to send us referrals.

592
00:40:08,990 --> 00:40:12,285
We get this picture
on my phone of this cute little girl

593
00:40:12,368 --> 00:40:14,245
in another country,
she had a cleft palate.

594
00:40:14,329 --> 00:40:15,955
And she was precious.

595
00:40:16,039 --> 00:40:18,541
They said,
"do you wanna adopt this child?"

596
00:40:18,625 --> 00:40:21,085
We were thinking,
"we got 24 hours to make a decision."

597
00:40:21,586 --> 00:40:25,506
And unexpectedly,
this strong heaviness comes over me.

598
00:40:26,049 --> 00:40:30,053
It was weird. It was almost like
this dark cloud comes over my heart,

599
00:40:30,136 --> 00:40:31,804
like something is not right.

600
00:40:31,888 --> 00:40:33,348
Didn't make sense to me.

601
00:40:33,431 --> 00:40:35,433
It's making me sleepless at night.

602
00:40:35,516 --> 00:40:37,352
I'm praying, talking to Jill.

603
00:40:37,435 --> 00:40:42,106
And I remember calling a friend
and she advises people on adoptions.

604
00:40:42,190 --> 00:40:47,153
She said, "this is too big of a decision.
If it is not a clear yes, then it's a no."

605
00:40:47,236 --> 00:40:50,865
So when Stephen
turned down that first referral, I cried.

606
00:40:56,704 --> 00:40:59,540
A few days later,
they send us another referral.

607
00:40:59,624 --> 00:41:00,875
Same thing happens,

608
00:41:00,959 --> 00:41:06,047
precious girl, beautiful, heaviness,
something's not right, I turn it down.

609
00:41:06,965 --> 00:41:11,803
It happens again about a few weeks later.
They send us another referral, heaviness.

610
00:41:12,720 --> 00:41:16,307
And I eventually turned down
four referrals.

611
00:41:16,391 --> 00:41:18,518
I called the adoption agency, said:

612
00:41:18,601 --> 00:41:21,187
"How does this work?
Because this is not fun anymore."

613
00:41:21,270 --> 00:41:24,440
And I begin to be worried about
what are people gonna think about me?

614
00:41:24,524 --> 00:41:26,275
I know there's no child that's perfect.

615
00:41:26,359 --> 00:41:27,944
What's wrong with me?

616
00:41:28,027 --> 00:41:30,238
I'm struggling here. This is hard.

617
00:41:31,447 --> 00:41:34,200
The next month, the adoption agency
quit sending referrals.

618
00:41:34,283 --> 00:41:36,077
To be honest, I was relieved.

619
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:38,454
I was like,
"this is harder than I thought."

620
00:41:38,538 --> 00:41:42,333
We're on this emotional roller coaster now
every time they send a referral.

621
00:41:43,126 --> 00:41:47,088
And then a fifth referral
pops in my e-mail inbox.

622
00:41:47,171 --> 00:41:49,799
And I was like,
"oh, no, here we go again."

623
00:41:51,509 --> 00:41:53,970
And this little girl pops up.

624
00:41:54,053 --> 00:41:57,807
And she has a worse medical condition
than some of the others.

625
00:41:59,392 --> 00:42:01,894
She was born
with a severe heart condition.

626
00:42:02,437 --> 00:42:04,647
Her mother
had wrapped her in a red blanket

627
00:42:04,731 --> 00:42:06,858
and had left her outside of a building

628
00:42:06,941 --> 00:42:10,862
with the hope that somebody would find her
and help her have her heart surgery.

629
00:42:11,946 --> 00:42:13,448
Jill and I looked at her,

630
00:42:13,531 --> 00:42:17,160
and for some reason,
this peace comes over both of us.

631
00:42:17,702 --> 00:42:21,247
And I was like,
"why am I okay with helping this girl

632
00:42:21,330 --> 00:42:23,666
with her major medical heart condition,

633
00:42:23,750 --> 00:42:26,753
and I was struggling
with the girl that had a cleft palate?"

634
00:42:28,296 --> 00:42:30,548
And I looked at Jill,
and she said, "I like her."

635
00:42:31,340 --> 00:42:32,467
And I was like, "I do too.

636
00:42:32,550 --> 00:42:34,510
Something is right
about this little girl."

637
00:42:34,594 --> 00:42:36,554
I went over to a friend's house

638
00:42:36,637 --> 00:42:39,849
and showed her Mia's picture
and was talking about her.

639
00:42:39,932 --> 00:42:43,144
And she said,
"I can tell that you already love her."

640
00:42:45,396 --> 00:42:46,397
And I did.

641
00:42:49,776 --> 00:42:54,989
We looked on the adoption papers, and
it says that she was born on 2/14/2011.

642
00:42:55,990 --> 00:42:57,992
And I remember saying to Stephen:

643
00:42:58,076 --> 00:43:01,204
"She was born
on Valentine's day with a broken heart."

644
00:43:02,330 --> 00:43:04,540
And so we contact the adoption agency

645
00:43:04,624 --> 00:43:06,584
we said,
"we're gonna adopt this little girl."

646
00:43:07,085 --> 00:43:11,005
Jill said, "hey, when did god
speak to your heart about adoption?"

647
00:43:11,089 --> 00:43:14,258
So I went back to my Bible,
and I opened it up.

648
00:43:14,342 --> 00:43:16,969
And right next to John 10:16
was the word "adoption."

649
00:43:17,053 --> 00:43:19,722
And then it was dated 2/14/2011.

650
00:43:20,473 --> 00:43:23,976
The same day that she was born in China

651
00:43:24,060 --> 00:43:27,105
was the same day god was speaking to me
on that airplane saying:

652
00:43:27,188 --> 00:43:28,731
"I want you to adopt this girl."

653
00:43:32,944 --> 00:43:36,614
I just remember
being so ovennhelmed by god,

654
00:43:36,697 --> 00:43:42,161
because it was too precise
to be an accident.

655
00:43:45,123 --> 00:43:47,625
It was like the hair
on the back of my neck was standing up

656
00:43:47,708 --> 00:43:50,545
because there was
this awesome sense of god saying:

657
00:43:50,628 --> 00:43:54,298
"I was in you turning down
those first four referrals.

658
00:43:54,382 --> 00:43:56,592
I am in this situation,

659
00:43:56,676 --> 00:43:58,636
and I'm gonna teach you
something about me,

660
00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:00,888
and I'm gonna be glorified
through this adoption."

661
00:44:09,522 --> 00:44:11,566
Oh, nice slippers.

662
00:44:12,066 --> 00:44:13,234
We're gonna go get Mia.

663
00:44:15,778 --> 00:44:17,405
We're in the forbidden city.

664
00:44:17,905 --> 00:44:20,992
It's not really that forbidden.
I mean, there's people everywhere.

665
00:44:24,871 --> 00:44:26,789
We go to the orphanage.

666
00:44:27,415 --> 00:44:29,292
When we rounded the corner,

667
00:44:29,375 --> 00:44:32,837
she was the first child,
standing there waiting on us.

668
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:35,756
I remember walking in the room in China

669
00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:37,592
and seeing Mia for the first time

670
00:44:37,675 --> 00:44:41,137
and she was scared
and didn't know who we were.

671
00:44:41,220 --> 00:44:42,555
We saw Mia's bed.

672
00:44:42,638 --> 00:44:46,017
We saw her condition.
She didn't have anything that she owned.

673
00:44:46,100 --> 00:44:47,518
God was allowing us

674
00:44:47,602 --> 00:44:50,605
to really rescue her
from a difficult future.

675
00:44:51,147 --> 00:44:53,274
We just finished
filling out all the papennork,

676
00:44:53,357 --> 00:44:55,818
giving our thumbprints,
and now she's ours.

677
00:44:55,902 --> 00:44:57,987
- Yay!
- And now she is ours.

678
00:45:00,489 --> 00:45:04,827
While we were in China with Mia,
she was... she started calling me mama.

679
00:45:04,911 --> 00:45:08,873
- And she kept calling Stephen something.
- Yeah.

680
00:45:08,956 --> 00:45:12,210
And we found out later,
she was calling him grandpa.

681
00:45:13,753 --> 00:45:14,754
Mwmm

682
00:45:15,546 --> 00:45:16,380
It's okay.

683
00:45:16,464 --> 00:45:18,966
Probably one
of the most difficult airplane flights

684
00:45:19,050 --> 00:45:22,386
I've ever been on in my life
was that 14-hourjourney

685
00:45:22,470 --> 00:45:25,264
to fly from China
all the way to New York City

686
00:45:25,348 --> 00:45:28,434
with an orphan who's 2,
and doesn't know who you are,

687
00:45:28,517 --> 00:45:29,810
or why she's on an airplane.

688
00:45:29,894 --> 00:45:36,359
She was upset, and she was surrounded
by new things constantly.

689
00:45:37,693 --> 00:45:40,071
She doesn't know who she is.

690
00:45:40,154 --> 00:45:42,698
She doesn't know
she's Mia Elizabeth Kendrick.

691
00:45:42,782 --> 00:45:47,745
She doesn't know that we are taking her
to a very loving, safe home.

692
00:45:48,287 --> 00:45:50,915
She doesn't know that I'm her daddy now.

693
00:45:50,998 --> 00:45:56,921
So many kids that are in orphanages
have never experienced a mom and a dad

694
00:45:57,004 --> 00:46:01,842
that are attentive to their needs,
and it can be an adjustment.

695
00:46:10,059 --> 00:46:12,728
Sometimes she would wake up
in the middle of the night crying,

696
00:46:12,812 --> 00:46:13,646
just terrified.

697
00:46:13,729 --> 00:46:16,232
Sometimes she would hold on to food

698
00:46:16,315 --> 00:46:20,319
like she didn't have any other provision
after that meal or something.

699
00:46:22,822 --> 00:46:26,909
We saw her whole personality
transform over the next few weeks,

700
00:46:26,993 --> 00:46:29,578
to go from fear to joy.

701
00:46:30,079 --> 00:46:33,499
We have watched Mia bloom in our home.

702
00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:35,000
Say "hi, Mia."

703
00:46:35,042 --> 00:46:36,043
Hi, Mia.

704
00:46:39,213 --> 00:46:43,342
Didn't have anything to do with her,
even though she was super cute.

705
00:46:43,843 --> 00:46:49,056
We just chose to love her
and make her a part of our family.

706
00:46:49,724 --> 00:46:52,184
And I know that god does that for us too.

707
00:46:52,268 --> 00:46:53,769
He sets his heart on us.

708
00:46:56,981 --> 00:47:01,777
God has given me such a love for her
that is equal to my other children.

709
00:47:03,112 --> 00:47:05,698
I don't want anything bad
to happen to her.

710
00:47:05,781 --> 00:47:08,492
I wanna protect her,
provide for her, take care of her.

711
00:47:09,827 --> 00:47:13,831
She is our sunshine.
I call her "sunshine."

712
00:47:13,914 --> 00:47:18,002
She smiles very easily and is a joy.

713
00:47:18,085 --> 00:47:20,379
She doesn't meet a stranger.

714
00:47:20,463 --> 00:47:23,841
My name is Mia Kendrick,
and I was born in China.

715
00:47:25,217 --> 00:47:29,638
Mia is our loudest,
most extrovert child,

716
00:47:29,722 --> 00:47:31,515
of all of our six children now.

717
00:47:32,391 --> 00:47:35,519
We had another biological daughter
after we adopted Mia.

718
00:47:36,062 --> 00:47:37,938
They are two peas in a pod,
playing together,

719
00:47:38,022 --> 00:47:39,815
laughing together every day.

720
00:47:40,483 --> 00:47:44,945
When I come home from work now,
Mia is the first one to run to the door,

721
00:47:45,029 --> 00:47:46,405
and want to be hugged.

722
00:47:46,489 --> 00:47:50,534
Everything is just twice
as exciting with her.

723
00:47:55,206 --> 00:47:59,627
So while she was in China,
she had an initial life-saving surgery.

724
00:48:00,252 --> 00:48:03,589
But we knew that she was gonna need
another major surgery

725
00:48:03,672 --> 00:48:06,675
when she got back to the states,
or she would not survive long-term.

726
00:48:06,759 --> 00:48:10,221
The right side of her heart
doesn't work properly.

727
00:48:10,388 --> 00:48:12,932
J'a, b, c, d... j“

728
00:48:13,015 --> 00:48:16,602
Her mother
likely gave her up to save her life.

729
00:48:19,730 --> 00:48:23,818
In the spring of 2019,
Mia had another major heart surgery

730
00:48:23,901 --> 00:48:25,736
that really saved her life for the future.

731
00:48:26,987 --> 00:48:30,157
I really had a peace
going into the surgery.

732
00:48:30,241 --> 00:48:32,701
I thought she's gonna do great.

733
00:48:32,785 --> 00:48:33,953
Stephen cried.

734
00:48:35,121 --> 00:48:39,250
The doctors pushed her back.
And I stood there in the hospital lobby

735
00:48:39,333 --> 00:48:43,921
and just wept, thinking, "god, I want you
to take care of my little girl."

736
00:48:47,341 --> 00:48:49,260
And she came out with flying colors.

737
00:48:49,343 --> 00:48:51,512
Everything went so well.

738
00:48:51,595 --> 00:48:54,432
She has half a heart
that is functioning now,

739
00:48:54,515 --> 00:48:57,977
but she is positioned
to have long-term health

740
00:48:58,060 --> 00:49:00,312
because of the surgeries that she's had.

741
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:05,818
We saw her go
from huffing and puffing over a short walk

742
00:49:06,360 --> 00:49:08,279
to being able to beat me in a bike race

743
00:49:08,362 --> 00:49:10,865
On the road after the surgeries.

744
00:49:10,948 --> 00:49:12,491
It really is incredible.

745
00:49:28,132 --> 00:49:29,925
Through this journey with Mia,

746
00:49:30,009 --> 00:49:33,679
my eyes began to open
to our spiritual adoption.

747
00:49:33,762 --> 00:49:36,765
Scripture communicates
that god doesn't just forgive us.

748
00:49:36,849 --> 00:49:39,268
He didn't just send Jesus
to pay for our sins,

749
00:49:39,351 --> 00:49:42,354
but he wants to adopt us into his family.

750
00:49:42,438 --> 00:49:44,565
And this whole parallel of adoption

751
00:49:44,648 --> 00:49:48,360
began to deepen
my understanding of god as our father.

752
00:49:49,403 --> 00:49:53,741
God has put a hole in our hearts
that's in the shape of a father.

753
00:49:53,824 --> 00:49:56,243
And we are longing for that to be filled.

754
00:49:58,954 --> 00:50:03,250
There are so many people,
I believe, in churches who believe in god,

755
00:50:03,751 --> 00:50:05,544
but they don't know who they are.

756
00:50:06,462 --> 00:50:09,423
They don't know
who their heavenly father is.

757
00:50:10,799 --> 00:50:13,636
They don't know
that god's plans for them are good.

758
00:50:15,304 --> 00:50:17,473
They are the functional orphans.

759
00:50:19,517 --> 00:50:23,771
God has a heart
for the orphans. He cares about them.

760
00:50:24,855 --> 00:50:26,398
He has compassion on them.

761
00:50:27,525 --> 00:50:30,277
And that's what he thinks
about you. He cares about you.

762
00:50:32,071 --> 00:50:33,822
He's a good father.

763
00:50:35,157 --> 00:50:36,867
He will take care of you.

764
00:50:37,868 --> 00:50:39,995
He loved you through his son.

765
00:50:40,704 --> 00:50:43,791
He sent Jesus to come to die for you,

766
00:50:43,874 --> 00:50:47,211
the greatest sacrifice
to meet your greatest need.

767
00:50:47,836 --> 00:50:53,384
God didn't just create fatherhood,
god is a father, and he loves you.

768
00:50:54,927 --> 00:50:58,097
This is one of the greatest expressions
of god's love.

769
00:50:59,598 --> 00:51:00,598
Adoption.

770
00:51:13,028 --> 00:51:16,073
Jesus said he wants us to have

771
00:51:16,156 --> 00:51:21,954
the same relationship
to his father that he has.

772
00:51:22,037 --> 00:51:26,750
So now we've been invited,
as brothers and sisters of Jesus Christ,

773
00:51:26,834 --> 00:51:29,795
into a whole new family experience.

774
00:51:29,878 --> 00:51:33,882
So the characteristics of love
and Patience and kindness and goodness

775
00:51:33,966 --> 00:51:38,804
and faithfulness, all these things that
originated with god are in Jesus Christ.

776
00:51:38,887 --> 00:51:43,309
And because Jesus is that link
between a sinful man, of which we all are,

777
00:51:43,392 --> 00:51:46,520
and a holy god,
he is that bridge, he is that link.

778
00:51:46,604 --> 00:51:48,314
Then when I get to know Jesus,

779
00:51:48,397 --> 00:51:50,316
that's my pathway
to get to know the father.

780
00:51:50,399 --> 00:51:56,196
Anyone, anywhere,
at any place, can turn to Christ

781
00:51:56,280 --> 00:52:00,242
and experience the love of the father
by placing their faith in Jesus.

782
00:52:00,326 --> 00:52:02,578
When the light bulb goes on,

783
00:52:03,078 --> 00:52:06,540
and they repent of their sins
and place theirfaith in Christ,

784
00:52:07,291 --> 00:52:09,043
everything changes for them.

785
00:52:09,543 --> 00:52:15,716
He says, "your identity now is that
you are unconditionally loved by me.

786
00:52:16,258 --> 00:52:19,553
That's who you are,
and nothing will ever change that."

787
00:52:27,561 --> 00:52:31,649
When it comes to us
ministering in difficult circumstances,

788
00:52:31,732 --> 00:52:34,026
making movies
that we had never been trained to do...

789
00:52:34,109 --> 00:52:35,109
And action.

790
00:52:35,152 --> 00:52:38,280
The thought never crossed our minds,
"this is too hard, can't be done."

791
00:52:38,989 --> 00:52:42,618
We'd watched our dad
do things that were extremely hard,

792
00:52:42,701 --> 00:52:45,287
that shouldn't have been able
to be done, and him still do it.

793
00:52:49,708 --> 00:52:55,756
When I was 42 years old,
I started losing my ability to walk.

794
00:52:58,050 --> 00:53:00,678
So, ultimately, I went into the hospital,

795
00:53:00,761 --> 00:53:06,558
and they did more tests and came back
and said that you have multiple sclerosis.

796
00:53:12,564 --> 00:53:18,445
He sent me out with what I saw
was no hope, no cure, nothing to do.

797
00:53:18,529 --> 00:53:22,866
Just cut your legs out from under you
and leave you to bleed to death.

798
00:53:25,744 --> 00:53:30,165
I had the sons at home, and the
mortgage payment and the car payment.

799
00:53:30,249 --> 00:53:34,086
And very little, if any,
in our savings account.

800
00:53:34,169 --> 00:53:39,842
So I spent, uh, 16 months
in the pits of depression.

801
00:53:45,013 --> 00:53:48,434
- This Sunday is father's day.
- This Sunday is father's day, yeah.

802
00:53:48,517 --> 00:53:51,770
And so I can't think
of anyone better right now to talk about

803
00:53:51,854 --> 00:53:53,105
than our dad, Larry Kendrick.

804
00:53:53,188 --> 00:53:55,566
And how he influenced
every movie we've ever done.

805
00:53:57,234 --> 00:54:00,320
It's amazing to see how much
our father has affected our lives.

806
00:54:00,904 --> 00:54:06,076
We put a representation of our father,
Larry Kendrick, in all of our movies.

807
00:54:10,539 --> 00:54:14,334
There's no way that we
could have told the stories we've told

808
00:54:14,418 --> 00:54:16,795
in the manner we did
without our father's influence.

809
00:54:16,879 --> 00:54:19,548
I don't feel like I started well.
I wanna finish well.

810
00:54:21,425 --> 00:54:26,138
To whatever degree we have been
able to influence people or inspire people

811
00:54:26,221 --> 00:54:27,264
or minister to them...

812
00:54:27,347 --> 00:54:30,100
That's my dad! That's my dad!

813
00:54:30,934 --> 00:54:33,353
We share that credit with our dad.

814
00:54:40,360 --> 00:54:42,738
You usually need
to feel some sense of love

815
00:54:42,821 --> 00:54:45,157
from your earthly father
before you begin to understand

816
00:54:45,240 --> 00:54:47,284
and believe
that your heavenly father loves you.

817
00:54:48,243 --> 00:54:51,705
Our grandfather
had been so wounded by his own father

818
00:54:51,789 --> 00:54:56,293
that when he grew up, he struggled
with verbalizing love to his own children.

819
00:54:57,044 --> 00:54:59,546
When I think about my dad,

820
00:54:59,630 --> 00:55:02,800
a lot of times,
I was really embarrassed by him.

821
00:55:03,342 --> 00:55:05,636
My dad was 7 feet tall.

822
00:55:05,719 --> 00:55:09,723
Nobody gave him any real trouble
because he was just too big.

823
00:55:11,642 --> 00:55:16,104
With daddy drinking
and losing jobs and in and out,

824
00:55:16,647 --> 00:55:19,942
when he would get home,
he would be intoxicated.

825
00:55:20,484 --> 00:55:25,322
And so, my earliest years,
I didn't have a father

826
00:55:25,405 --> 00:55:30,244
in the sense
that he was loving, nurturing, dependable.

827
00:55:30,786 --> 00:55:34,748
I guess I would say he was insecure.

828
00:55:34,832 --> 00:55:38,168
He had made mistakes.
He'd gotten on the wrong track.

829
00:55:38,710 --> 00:55:43,757
In his later life, he knew the lord
and was walking with the lord.

830
00:55:44,466 --> 00:55:48,428
But in his earlier life, my grandfather
was a very different person.

831
00:55:49,388 --> 00:55:54,059
I never felt
I had any real guidance from him

832
00:55:54,142 --> 00:55:58,146
in the sense
of how to find my way through life.

833
00:55:58,897 --> 00:56:01,817
Even as we were growing up,

834
00:56:01,900 --> 00:56:04,152
dad was dealing with all kinds of issues,

835
00:56:04,236 --> 00:56:08,365
but he was shielding us
from his own internal struggles

836
00:56:08,448 --> 00:56:10,617
and battles and fears
that he was dealing with.

837
00:56:10,701 --> 00:56:14,371
We didn't realize the war
that was going on inside of him.

838
00:56:14,454 --> 00:56:18,584
The enemy started using
this prognosis of multiple sclerosis

839
00:56:18,667 --> 00:56:23,380
along with his own identity issues
to just spiral dad into depression.

840
00:56:23,964 --> 00:56:25,716
And I said, "lord...

841
00:56:27,593 --> 00:56:32,180
I have been wishing that you
had just taken me out of this world."

842
00:56:33,015 --> 00:56:36,768
I had been wishing that I could just die.

843
00:56:38,312 --> 00:56:39,521
He had it out with god.

844
00:56:39,605 --> 00:56:43,984
He went into my brother's bedroom
and told god, "I'm not doing this.

845
00:56:44,067 --> 00:56:47,154
Either you're gonna heal me,
or you're gonna take me home.

846
00:56:47,237 --> 00:56:50,574
But I'm not gonna live in misery here
and drag my family down with me."

847
00:56:50,657 --> 00:56:54,077
He basically threw himself
at the feet of Jesus.

848
00:56:55,579 --> 00:56:59,333
"Our father which art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.

849
00:56:59,416 --> 00:57:04,004
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done
on earth as it is in heaven."

850
00:57:04,838 --> 00:57:08,425
Why would god ask you to pray that prayer

851
00:57:08,508 --> 00:57:11,762
if he didn't want you to believe
this could be true on earth?

852
00:57:14,056 --> 00:57:15,349
And I said, "lord...

853
00:57:16,558 --> 00:57:19,603
For all this time
that I've been so fearful,

854
00:57:19,686 --> 00:57:21,855
not trusting you,

855
00:57:21,939 --> 00:57:23,774
I'm asking you to forgive me."

856
00:57:25,943 --> 00:57:27,903
It's like the light came through.

857
00:57:29,988 --> 00:57:31,198
And I wept...

858
00:57:33,700 --> 00:57:35,494
Till I couldn't weep anymore.

859
00:57:37,120 --> 00:57:40,457
The lord flipped the light back on
and he realized

860
00:57:40,540 --> 00:57:43,585
that god is a loving father,
and he does love me.

861
00:57:43,669 --> 00:57:49,007
And that revelation
of the heart of his heavenly father

862
00:57:49,091 --> 00:57:51,510
was really what brought dad
out of depression.

863
00:58:04,982 --> 00:58:07,192
You know, in the sermon on the mount,

864
00:58:07,275 --> 00:58:10,153
Jesus uses the word "father"
over and over.

865
00:58:10,237 --> 00:58:11,947
"Our father who art in heaven."

866
00:58:12,030 --> 00:58:15,409
He says, "the father
gives good gifts to the children."

867
00:58:15,492 --> 00:58:20,831
He says, "if you forgive others,
your father will forgive you."

868
00:58:20,914 --> 00:58:25,919
He says, "but your heavenly father
knows what you have need of."

869
00:58:26,003 --> 00:58:29,589
All of this is in the sermon on the mount.
"Father, father, father."

870
00:58:29,673 --> 00:58:34,219
What we do is we transfer that
to say, "god, god, god."

871
00:58:34,720 --> 00:58:39,725
And so we go back to elohim,
this creator that's way out there,

872
00:58:39,808 --> 00:58:44,062
not father, who is close in here.

873
00:58:44,146 --> 00:58:48,692
I think it's so important for people,
after they've given their life to Jesus,

874
00:58:48,775 --> 00:58:50,777
to begin to go on a journey and say,

875
00:58:50,861 --> 00:58:54,406
"father, would you reveal yourself,
your heart, to me?

876
00:58:54,489 --> 00:58:56,199
Would you show me who I am?

877
00:58:56,283 --> 00:58:58,160
Would you show your love for me

878
00:58:58,243 --> 00:59:01,496
so that I function
in this relationship with you?"

879
00:59:01,580 --> 00:59:03,498
Just because Jesus is your lord

880
00:59:03,582 --> 00:59:06,376
doesn't mean you're relating well
to god as your father.

881
00:59:06,460 --> 00:59:09,296
If you're not believing
he's gonna answer your prayers,

882
00:59:09,379 --> 00:59:10,839
if you don't believe he loves you,

883
00:59:10,922 --> 00:59:14,009
if you don't believe
that his heart is for you,

884
00:59:14,092 --> 00:59:16,845
then you need to start
seeking god as father,

885
00:59:16,928 --> 00:59:18,472
relating to him as father,

886
00:59:18,555 --> 00:59:20,140
reading what his word says

887
00:59:20,223 --> 00:59:23,351
about his perfect role
as your father in heaven

888
00:59:23,435 --> 00:59:26,521
and ask god
to reveal to your heart who he is,

889
00:59:26,605 --> 00:59:28,190
and how he wants to relate to you.

890
00:59:31,985 --> 00:59:35,655
Nice. Set, go. Feet, feet, feet.

891
00:59:35,739 --> 00:59:36,573
Step on it.

892
00:59:36,656 --> 00:59:39,826
Set, go. Feet, feet, feet. Get going!

893
00:59:39,910 --> 00:59:44,372
There's a definite parallel
with coaching and fathering.

894
00:59:44,456 --> 00:59:46,958
The beauty of it, for me, is with my sons,

895
00:59:47,042 --> 00:59:49,878
I get to do it on a more consistent basis

896
00:59:49,961 --> 00:59:53,298
and be able to reinforce
that coaching and that fathering.

897
00:59:53,381 --> 00:59:57,052
Their circumstances are gonna be
way better than what mine was,

898
00:59:57,135 --> 00:59:59,304
as far as me in their life.

899
00:59:59,387 --> 01:00:01,640
I want these guys
to have everything I didn't have.

900
01:00:08,313 --> 01:00:11,942
I would get asked about family history,
and I'm like, "man..."

901
01:00:12,025 --> 01:00:14,986
I didn't have any answers
because I didn't know.

902
01:00:16,613 --> 01:00:20,867
My adoptive mom,
she would say to me, every few years,

903
01:00:20,951 --> 01:00:25,455
"if you're ever interested in finding out
who your biological family is,

904
01:00:25,539 --> 01:00:27,499
I don't have a problem with that."

905
01:00:27,582 --> 01:00:30,043
I told him all the facts I had.

906
01:00:30,585 --> 01:00:32,754
We knew he was born in Pennsylvania.

907
01:00:34,256 --> 01:00:36,716
They said the mother was 16 years old,

908
01:00:36,800 --> 01:00:39,678
that her parents
wanted her to finish school.

909
01:00:41,304 --> 01:00:45,934
Just hearing that, after 30-some years,
that was strong for me at that time.

910
01:00:46,017 --> 01:00:49,229
I said, "I wanna find out."
Now it's like a mystery.

911
01:00:49,312 --> 01:00:52,023
Like "wow, you done
gave me a couple crumbs,

912
01:00:52,107 --> 01:00:54,651
I wanna go
and see what's up with this now."

913
01:00:57,737 --> 01:00:59,573
I got all the papenivork.

914
01:01:00,282 --> 01:01:02,075
It was called your original birth record.

915
01:01:02,159 --> 01:01:04,202
It was almost like
an original birth certificate.

916
01:01:04,953 --> 01:01:06,830
So I opened up this one sheet of paper.

917
01:01:06,913 --> 01:01:11,209
And there it was. It said, you know,
"birth name, Jon Kenneth Briggs."

918
01:01:12,502 --> 01:01:16,423
It had my mom's name on there,
Carol Denise Briggs, and she was 16.

919
01:01:18,216 --> 01:01:20,218
It didn't have a dad's name.

920
01:01:25,390 --> 01:01:29,895
So I ended up finding
a person named Carol Denise Briggs.

921
01:01:31,229 --> 01:01:35,025
And I'm looking on her
Facebook page, so I sent her a message.

922
01:01:37,652 --> 01:01:42,157
I get home from work
at about 5:00, unmute my phone.

923
01:01:42,240 --> 01:01:48,288
First thing I see, "did you have
a baby in 1972 in allegheny county?"

924
01:01:49,998 --> 01:01:53,251
I'm stunned. Obviously, I'm stunned.

925
01:01:53,877 --> 01:01:55,545
She sends back, "yes."

926
01:01:56,713 --> 01:02:00,884
I'm like, "okay, I'm in. I gotta
see where this is gonna go. I'm in."

927
01:02:00,967 --> 01:02:04,721
"What did you name the baby?"

928
01:02:06,014 --> 01:02:08,099
And she sent back, "not deland."

929
01:02:08,183 --> 01:02:09,809
I kind of laughed.

930
01:02:09,893 --> 01:02:12,479
I said, "I understand.
What did you name the baby?"

931
01:02:12,562 --> 01:02:15,774
She said, "Jon."
I was like, "oh, man, this is her."

932
01:02:15,857 --> 01:02:17,497
While I'm waiting for him to call,

933
01:02:17,567 --> 01:02:20,820
I am all over the Internet
looking this guy up.

934
01:02:20,904 --> 01:02:25,742
It's just page after page after
page of stuff about deland McCullough.

935
01:02:25,825 --> 01:02:28,745
And I'm like,
"okay, this might be a real guy.

936
01:02:28,828 --> 01:02:32,207
This isn't a fake.
He's real. He's really out there.

937
01:02:32,290 --> 01:02:34,709
And this is really him.

938
01:02:35,210 --> 01:02:36,711
This is really him."

939
01:02:36,795 --> 01:02:37,795
So, um...

940
01:02:39,130 --> 01:02:42,801
So by the time he calls me back,

941
01:02:43,677 --> 01:02:46,721
okay, I'm... I'm kind of a mess by then.

942
01:02:46,805 --> 01:02:47,973
It's a great conversation.

943
01:02:48,056 --> 01:02:50,267
It's like, we've known each other forever.

944
01:02:50,350 --> 01:02:53,103
And he says, "I'm Jon, obviously."

945
01:02:55,272 --> 01:02:56,912
And she says she's in youngstown.

946
01:02:56,940 --> 01:02:59,693
And I said,
"well, that's where I grew up.

947
01:02:59,776 --> 01:03:01,319
How did you end up in Pennsylvania?"

948
01:03:01,403 --> 01:03:04,072
She explained to me
how things were different.

949
01:03:04,155 --> 01:03:08,702
You know, and her parents
had sent her there to have me.

950
01:03:10,578 --> 01:03:14,249
My mom found out I was pregnant
like on a Tuesday or Wednesday.

951
01:03:14,332 --> 01:03:16,501
And that Saturday,
I was on my way to Pittsburgh.

952
01:03:17,085 --> 01:03:18,920
It's a big deal to have a baby.

953
01:03:19,004 --> 01:03:22,173
And I knew that
I wasn't prepared to be anybody's mom.

954
01:03:22,716 --> 01:03:27,012
And I didn't have
any negative feelings about my decision

955
01:03:27,095 --> 01:03:28,221
to place him for adoption

956
01:03:28,305 --> 01:03:32,559
because I knew
that I was doing the right thing for him.

957
01:03:33,435 --> 01:03:35,478
I thought about Jon all the time.

958
01:03:36,563 --> 01:03:40,275
Every December the 1st,
from the day I joined Facebook,

959
01:03:40,358 --> 01:03:43,320
I put a message out,
"happy birthday, Jon Kenneth,

960
01:03:43,403 --> 01:03:44,487
wherever you are."

961
01:03:45,030 --> 01:03:48,658
When he started sending me
all these pictures of his children,

962
01:03:48,742 --> 01:03:51,453
you know,
he's got these four beautiful boys

963
01:03:51,536 --> 01:03:54,622
and my daughter-in-law
is just drop-dead gorgeous.

964
01:03:55,123 --> 01:04:01,004
I'm like, "man, how lucky
can I be to have this happen to me?"

965
01:04:01,087 --> 01:04:03,214
You know, he's just fabulous.

966
01:04:03,298 --> 01:04:04,716
And he's so handsome.

967
01:04:04,799 --> 01:04:10,138
And I'm thinking, "well, this is just
more than I could have even imagined."

968
01:04:14,684 --> 01:04:16,770
So when he heard
I was from youngstown, he says,

969
01:04:16,853 --> 01:04:19,272
"oh, well, do I have
any brothers and sisters?"

970
01:04:20,607 --> 01:04:23,485
And she said, "I never got married,
never had any more kids."

971
01:04:24,486 --> 01:04:27,113
Then he says, "well, who's my dad?"

972
01:04:30,075 --> 01:04:34,454
I tell him his father's name
and I can kind of hear him catch...

973
01:04:34,537 --> 01:04:36,831
I hear a catch in his throat.

974
01:04:38,291 --> 01:04:43,546
Because I had a super emotional
moment at that point, you know.

975
01:04:43,630 --> 01:04:46,049
And she was like, "what?"
She's like, "what's wrong?"

976
01:04:46,132 --> 01:04:47,634
I said, "oh, I know him."

977
01:04:54,224 --> 01:04:57,769
He says, "well, I've known
sherman Smith my whole life."

978
01:05:04,776 --> 01:05:07,737
He's been my mentor,
I've been in contact with coach Smith

979
01:05:07,821 --> 01:05:10,198
for the last 20-something years.

980
01:05:13,034 --> 01:05:14,285
I said, "well, did he know?"

981
01:05:14,369 --> 01:05:15,954
She said, "well, he knew nothing."

982
01:05:16,037 --> 01:05:18,581
She said, "he was off
at Miami when you were born.

983
01:05:18,665 --> 01:05:20,375
It's one of those things that happened."

984
01:05:20,458 --> 01:05:24,170
She said, "but I never told him.
He never even knew I was pregnant."

985
01:05:25,046 --> 01:05:28,091
So my wife had knew
that I talked to my mom.

986
01:05:28,174 --> 01:05:30,343
I said, "I found out who my dad is."

987
01:05:30,969 --> 01:05:33,221
She said, "who?"

988
01:05:33,888 --> 01:05:36,474
I said, "sherman Smith." My wife lost it.

989
01:05:36,558 --> 01:05:38,935
I was like, "what?"

990
01:05:39,018 --> 01:05:41,563
I mean, I was so loud.

991
01:05:41,646 --> 01:05:45,024
How in the world could you
have been around your father

992
01:05:45,108 --> 01:05:49,070
for this many years, and not have known?

993
01:05:50,572 --> 01:05:52,782
The next day, he texts me at work.

994
01:05:52,866 --> 01:05:55,076
He says, "can I tell my dad?"

995
01:05:55,660 --> 01:05:58,788
And I'm like, "absolutely, you tell him."

996
01:06:03,543 --> 01:06:06,963
So I get on the phone.
"Hey, deland. What's going on?"

997
01:06:07,046 --> 01:06:10,967
I said, "yeah, not too much."
So we just started talking.

998
01:06:12,135 --> 01:06:15,030
You know, he's talking about,
"well, hey, you know I'm adopted."

999
01:06:15,054 --> 01:06:16,264
"Yeah, man, I know."

1000
01:06:16,347 --> 01:06:19,893
And he said, "you know, I started the
process to find my biological parents."

1001
01:06:19,976 --> 01:06:23,229
I said, "man, that's great to hear."
"I got my original birth certificate."

1002
01:06:23,313 --> 01:06:25,940
"Man, that is great. I'm excited for you."

1003
01:06:26,024 --> 01:06:29,110
He said, "and I found my biological mom."

1004
01:06:29,194 --> 01:06:30,320
"Man, god is good."

1005
01:06:30,403 --> 01:06:32,864
He's running down Bible verses.
He hitting me...

1006
01:06:32,947 --> 01:06:35,992
I said, "I hear you,
but there's a little bit more."

1007
01:06:36,075 --> 01:06:38,328
This story's getting better, you know?

1008
01:06:38,411 --> 01:06:39,454
And I'm excited for him.

1009
01:06:39,537 --> 01:06:40,705
And then he said her name,

1010
01:06:40,788 --> 01:06:42,874
and when he said
her name, my heart dropped.

1011
01:06:43,583 --> 01:06:45,710
Boom. "Oh, man."

1012
01:06:46,920 --> 01:06:50,340
And before that sunk in, he said,
"I asked her who my father was,

1013
01:06:50,423 --> 01:06:51,799
and she said it's you."

1014
01:06:53,176 --> 01:06:56,137
And it was like a bomb went off.

1015
01:06:57,889 --> 01:07:01,184
And he was silent for a couple of seconds.

1016
01:07:02,310 --> 01:07:05,146
And then he started like mumbling.

1017
01:07:05,230 --> 01:07:07,273
Coach Smith, he don't mumble, now.

1018
01:07:07,357 --> 01:07:09,067
He's a very articulate guy.

1019
01:07:09,150 --> 01:07:12,654
I was mumbling.
"What are you talking about?"

1020
01:07:12,737 --> 01:07:17,158
I knew I knew Carol.
I knew I knew her in that way.

1021
01:07:19,285 --> 01:07:21,955
After a few minutes,
I said, "I need to call you back.

1022
01:07:22,622 --> 01:07:24,290
I need to process this."

1023
01:07:28,378 --> 01:07:30,213
It shook me. That was a...

1024
01:07:30,296 --> 01:07:33,216
I didn't expect that.
It caught me off guard.

1025
01:07:37,345 --> 01:07:41,975
The fact that I knew deland made
it harder, because this is a great guy.

1026
01:07:43,476 --> 01:07:47,480
This young man grew up
without a father in his life.

1027
01:07:47,564 --> 01:07:50,984
He didn't have what I had because of me,

1028
01:07:51,067 --> 01:07:52,902
because of being irresponsible.

1029
01:07:54,320 --> 01:07:57,657
I said, "deland,
I know that Carol is sure,

1030
01:07:57,740 --> 01:07:59,242
but I wanna be sure."

1031
01:08:00,201 --> 01:08:01,911
So deland said, "let's do a DNA test."

1032
01:08:01,995 --> 01:08:04,622
I said, "absolutely, let's do a DNA test."

1033
01:08:08,585 --> 01:08:11,838
I woke up one morning and you know,
humility is not thinking less of yourself.

1034
01:08:11,921 --> 01:08:14,048
It's thinking of yourself less.

1035
01:08:15,174 --> 01:08:18,845
God spoke to my heart and said,
"stop thinking about yourself."

1036
01:08:18,928 --> 01:08:21,764
Then I just started looking back
to how god connected the dots.

1037
01:08:21,848 --> 01:08:26,227
I go back to, you know, if I don't
recruit him, I don't get to know him.

1038
01:08:27,270 --> 01:08:30,940
I've been in his life,
not in his life like a father should be.

1039
01:08:31,482 --> 01:08:34,193
Deland told me,
he said, "you were in my life."

1040
01:08:35,528 --> 01:08:37,196
So the paternity test came back.

1041
01:08:37,280 --> 01:08:38,865
My heart started beating.

1042
01:08:39,866 --> 01:08:44,787
When I opened it, I was like...
My hands were shaking when I read it.

1043
01:08:46,289 --> 01:08:48,625
It says a 99.99 percent chance

1044
01:08:48,708 --> 01:08:52,879
that I'm his father, my wife,
Sharon, is jumping up and down screaming.

1045
01:08:52,962 --> 01:08:55,381
Like I was at a sporting event...

1046
01:08:56,174 --> 01:08:59,927
At a football game
because I was just thrilled.

1047
01:09:00,470 --> 01:09:02,513
I was absolutely thrilled.

1048
01:09:07,101 --> 01:09:08,811
I definitely was all in.

1049
01:09:08,895 --> 01:09:13,566
I would have been devastated
had they came back any other way.

1050
01:09:13,650 --> 01:09:17,695
I had already began
to bond with deland and his family.

1051
01:09:17,779 --> 01:09:20,448
It just was all a dream come true.

1052
01:09:21,449 --> 01:09:23,660
It's a 99.9 percent chance.

1053
01:09:24,494 --> 01:09:27,955
You know, my dad
called in, he's like, "here we go."

1054
01:09:28,039 --> 01:09:31,459
You could hear it in his voice.
He was, "let's do it."

1055
01:09:31,542 --> 01:09:33,378
You know, everything was on at that point.

1056
01:09:39,217 --> 01:09:40,718
And I go to Tennessee.

1057
01:09:40,802 --> 01:09:43,012
My dad knew I was coming, of course.

1058
01:09:44,138 --> 01:09:46,933
As I'm coming
around the corner up to his house,

1059
01:09:47,016 --> 01:09:49,394
I kind of pulled
right there on the side of the street.

1060
01:09:49,477 --> 01:09:52,313
I was kind of sitting in the car,
trying to gather my thoughts.

1061
01:09:55,024 --> 01:09:56,943
He was sitting there
for about five minutes,

1062
01:09:57,026 --> 01:09:58,111
I was looking for him.

1063
01:09:58,194 --> 01:10:00,988
And he was sitting there,
then finally he pulls up in the driveway

1064
01:10:01,072 --> 01:10:02,365
and he walks up.

1065
01:10:03,491 --> 01:10:05,761
It ain't like I've never seen
coach Smith before,

1066
01:10:05,785 --> 01:10:06,911
but this is different now.

1067
01:10:08,746 --> 01:10:12,583
I got out and, you know,
walked up to the door.

1068
01:10:14,377 --> 01:10:18,339
And I opened the door
and opened up my arms

1069
01:10:18,423 --> 01:10:21,509
and I said, "my son," and hugged him.

1070
01:10:26,723 --> 01:10:30,351
I'd never heard
that before from a father figure.

1071
01:10:31,310 --> 01:10:32,478
I'll never forget that.

1072
01:10:32,562 --> 01:10:35,898
I'll never forget the wave of emotion
that went through me when he said that.

1073
01:10:36,899 --> 01:10:38,192
I don't have any words for it.

1074
01:10:38,276 --> 01:10:41,571
It just was like something
that I wanted for so long.

1075
01:10:42,864 --> 01:10:45,533
I never have been
referred to that by any man.

1076
01:10:48,745 --> 01:10:52,331
The strength of the way
he said it and the conviction in it,

1077
01:10:52,415 --> 01:10:54,667
and the fact that it was true, you know.

1078
01:10:55,877 --> 01:10:59,130
That's my son. I'm proud of him.

1079
01:11:02,717 --> 01:11:04,218
I found my dad.

1080
01:11:04,302 --> 01:11:06,763
You know, I found my dad.

1081
01:11:11,434 --> 01:11:13,620
I didn't know what a dad
was supposed to look like.

1082
01:11:13,644 --> 01:11:17,190
And then to find out
that my dad was sherman Smith,

1083
01:11:17,273 --> 01:11:19,192
who I've been around enough to know,

1084
01:11:19,275 --> 01:11:21,486
I just felt extremely blessed.

1085
01:11:23,613 --> 01:11:25,531
When he says, "my dad,"

1086
01:11:25,615 --> 01:11:29,452
there's such joy and happiness
that he can call sherman "dad."

1087
01:11:29,535 --> 01:11:32,663
But now, "that's my dad. That's my dad."

1088
01:11:32,747 --> 01:11:33,747
You know?

1089
01:11:34,290 --> 01:11:39,504
Every time deland is around sherman,
you say sherman's name, the biggest,

1090
01:11:39,587 --> 01:11:45,009
cheesiest grin comes up
on his face that's just amazing to me.

1091
01:11:45,092 --> 01:11:46,719
And I remember catching myself,

1092
01:11:46,803 --> 01:11:49,138
and thinking to myself,
"Darnell, don't stare."

1093
01:11:49,222 --> 01:11:53,017
Because I remember staring
at him and like listening to him talk.

1094
01:11:53,100 --> 01:11:55,895
And I remember
he was chewing on a straw or something.

1095
01:11:55,978 --> 01:12:00,358
I'm like, "oh, my goodness. Deland
chews on straws all day, every day."

1096
01:12:09,242 --> 01:12:12,370
When I found out you was my dad,
man, it was like I hit the lottery.

1097
01:12:12,453 --> 01:12:16,666
You know, I just was so excited
that you were my father.

1098
01:12:16,749 --> 01:12:19,252
It was just such an unbelievable blessing.

1099
01:12:19,836 --> 01:12:21,879
God can take a mess
and make a miracle out of it.

1100
01:12:21,963 --> 01:12:23,422
That's what he did.

1101
01:12:23,506 --> 01:12:25,883
I always say
this is a story for god's glory.

1102
01:12:25,967 --> 01:12:27,635
I've always respected you and loved you

1103
01:12:27,718 --> 01:12:30,471
and so now to say you're my son,
what a blessing to me.

1104
01:12:30,555 --> 01:12:33,224
It's only love of god
that got me to this point.

1105
01:12:36,227 --> 01:12:38,312
I don't even use the word "luck."
"I'm lucky." No.

1106
01:12:38,396 --> 01:12:39,814
I feel like luck can run out.

1107
01:12:39,897 --> 01:12:42,275
You know, the love you have from god,

1108
01:12:42,358 --> 01:12:44,694
I ain't never felt
like I ran out of god's love.

1109
01:12:49,073 --> 01:12:51,742
Man, I'm telling you, I'm blessed, man.

1110
01:13:09,427 --> 01:13:14,640
I love to tell men that, um,
it ain't over till it's over.

1111
01:13:14,724 --> 01:13:18,769
And your kids may be grown and gone,
and you may have already failed.

1112
01:13:19,270 --> 01:13:21,647
But god has a way of—-
he has a tracking system.

1113
01:13:21,731 --> 01:13:26,110
He got a GPS,
so god knows how to turn things around

1114
01:13:26,193 --> 01:13:32,909
when men are willing to repent,
that is the decision and determination

1115
01:13:32,992 --> 01:13:35,244
to turn from sin and turn to him.

1116
01:13:35,328 --> 01:13:38,789
Then god can kick in
and he can rev up that engine

1117
01:13:38,873 --> 01:13:41,459
of restoration, help, and hope.

1118
01:13:41,542 --> 01:13:44,253
Every father is gonna be making mistakes

1119
01:13:44,337 --> 01:13:48,674
and, urn, needs the lord every day,
and needs god's forgiveness

1120
01:13:48,758 --> 01:13:51,093
and needs
the forgiveness of their children.

1121
01:13:51,177 --> 01:13:54,680
But there is also
this message in scripture

1122
01:13:54,764 --> 01:13:57,516
that the fatherhood of god is perfect.

1123
01:13:57,600 --> 01:14:00,937
All of god's attributes,
his characteristics,

1124
01:14:02,104 --> 01:14:03,940
are perfect in every detail.

1125
01:14:04,023 --> 01:14:09,320
There is not a speck
of imperfection with god.

1126
01:14:09,403 --> 01:14:13,407
So that everything he says,
he's completely right about.

1127
01:14:14,492 --> 01:14:19,956
He's completely right about it,
not only informationally, but intuitively,

1128
01:14:20,039 --> 01:14:22,667
because it's who he is.

1129
01:14:23,292 --> 01:14:27,505
The reason why you can trust him
is that he cannot make a mistake.

1130
01:14:28,214 --> 01:14:30,424
Anybody that good at what they do

1131
01:14:31,717 --> 01:14:36,305
is worthy of our trust
even when we do not understand them.

1132
01:14:42,979 --> 01:14:44,605
Today on focus on the family,

1133
01:14:44,689 --> 01:14:47,191
we'll get some insight
from a couple of dads

1134
01:14:47,274 --> 01:14:51,153
who talk about the power
of a father's words and actions.

1135
01:14:51,237 --> 01:14:52,822
John, many of us know the heartache.

1136
01:14:52,905 --> 01:14:56,867
At focus, we had
the real estate collapse of '07 and '08

1137
01:14:56,951 --> 01:14:59,829
and we had to lay
off... I had to lay off...

1138
01:14:59,912 --> 01:15:03,332
600 people over a three-year period.

1139
01:15:03,416 --> 01:15:07,670
And I remember one night,
I was down in the basement of my house.

1140
01:15:07,753 --> 01:15:12,425
And I was sleeping an hour or two a night
because of the stress of this.

1141
01:15:12,508 --> 01:15:14,385
And I remember Dr. Dobson would say to me,

1142
01:15:14,468 --> 01:15:16,804
when he didn't know what to do
with focus on the family

1143
01:15:16,887 --> 01:15:18,973
in the early days, he'd call his dad.

1144
01:15:19,056 --> 01:15:22,143
And his dad would always have
the right word of wisdom.

1145
01:15:22,810 --> 01:15:26,522
And I'm down in this basement
going, "I don't have a dad.

1146
01:15:27,523 --> 01:15:30,067
Lord, why didn't you give me
a dad I could call?

1147
01:15:30,151 --> 01:15:32,069
Because I need wisdom right now.

1148
01:15:33,070 --> 01:15:34,572
But you didn't give me that dad."

1149
01:15:37,241 --> 01:15:40,244
And I'm telling you, it wasn't audible,

1150
01:15:40,786 --> 01:15:46,333
but what I heard in my spirit,
with a tonal quality, was:

1151
01:15:47,001 --> 01:15:50,129
"Haven't I been a good father?

1152
01:15:55,384 --> 01:15:56,469
What do you need?"

1153
01:16:00,848 --> 01:16:05,019
And I went down
on my face and began to weep.

1154
01:16:06,145 --> 01:16:10,441
Just saying, "you've been the best father
a boy could have.

1155
01:16:11,692 --> 01:16:14,945
You've been everything.
Look at what you've done for me."

1156
01:16:17,698 --> 01:16:19,241
If you don't have a dad,

1157
01:16:20,034 --> 01:16:23,370
god is standing there,
saying, "I will be this for you.

1158
01:16:24,163 --> 01:16:27,750
And I'll be the best father
you could ever have."

1159
01:16:28,292 --> 01:16:30,836
And that's what's happened in my life.

1160
01:16:34,548 --> 01:16:37,426
The holy spirit
is looking for the broken spirit,

1161
01:16:38,052 --> 01:16:39,845
the person that's wounded.

1162
01:16:39,929 --> 01:16:44,391
Because there's some kind of humility,
I think, that comes from brokenness.

1163
01:16:44,475 --> 01:16:48,187
When you don't have the answers,
maybe somebody has wounded you.

1164
01:16:49,230 --> 01:16:52,650
And at that point,
there's nowhere else to go

1165
01:16:52,733 --> 01:16:56,987
and you're saying, "lord, if you're there,
will you show yourself to me?"

1166
01:16:57,071 --> 01:17:00,533
He's whispering, "I've always been here.

1167
01:17:00,616 --> 01:17:03,661
I've just been waiting
for you to call out to me."

1168
01:17:06,831 --> 01:17:12,253
What I needed was a father,
and I found that person in Christ.

1169
01:17:25,766 --> 01:17:28,936
We can restore and turn back

1170
01:17:29,019 --> 01:17:31,814
and get back
what the enemy has taken away.

1171
01:17:31,897 --> 01:17:35,401
So the bad news is, it's bad.

1172
01:17:35,484 --> 01:17:38,654
The good news is, god can make it better

1173
01:17:39,280 --> 01:17:44,243
because he who has begun a good work
in you, if you let him complete it

1174
01:17:44,326 --> 01:17:46,453
as your daddy, as your father in heaven...

1175
01:17:47,496 --> 01:17:52,418
He can take that misery
and turn it into your miracle.

1176
01:17:52,960 --> 01:17:55,129
He can turn this nation around

1177
01:17:55,212 --> 01:18:00,301
if he can get men to become the kind
of fathers he's created them to be.

1178
01:18:00,384 --> 01:18:04,054
It's been amazing to me
that some of the best dads in the world

1179
01:18:04,138 --> 01:18:07,516
that I've ever met
had terrible dads themselves.

1180
01:18:07,600 --> 01:18:11,729
And it was a great day when they realized,
I don't have to carry on this legacy

1181
01:18:11,812 --> 01:18:17,234
of baggage and hurt and, um,
absence on to my own children.

1182
01:18:17,318 --> 01:18:21,113
My own father
was not looking at his own dad

1183
01:18:21,197 --> 01:18:24,742
as the example to pass on to us.
He was reading the scriptures.

1184
01:18:24,825 --> 01:18:26,911
He was reading books by great men.

1185
01:18:26,994 --> 01:18:29,288
He was on his knees
asking god to help him.

1186
01:18:29,371 --> 01:18:34,668
And I'm so grateful that he let go
of those tough cards that he'd been dealt.

1187
01:18:34,752 --> 01:18:38,172
And he decided to pass on
a new legacy for us as his kids.

1188
01:18:46,055 --> 01:18:49,767
I used to wish
that I could be affirmed more.

1189
01:18:50,351 --> 01:18:52,937
And when I learned about the Jewish people

1190
01:18:53,020 --> 01:18:57,107
and how they speak blessings
over their children,

1191
01:18:57,191 --> 01:19:03,697
I chose to pray for each of my sons
when they were getting married.

1192
01:19:04,865 --> 01:19:08,202
He had turned a corner
with his own walk with god,

1193
01:19:08,285 --> 01:19:12,539
and determined
to tell his sons that they were loved,

1194
01:19:12,623 --> 01:19:15,292
to pray over them,
to encourage them, and to bless them.

1195
01:19:16,710 --> 01:19:20,089
In the Bible,
the blessing was everything. Everything.

1196
01:19:20,172 --> 01:19:24,510
That blessing was the covenantal transfer

1197
01:19:25,010 --> 01:19:28,681
of the favor of god
for the future of the child.

1198
01:19:29,640 --> 01:19:34,979
They long for that blessing,
that passing of divine favor.

1199
01:19:36,146 --> 01:19:41,026
Every father is responsible
for passing on the blessing.

1200
01:19:42,111 --> 01:19:45,906
There was the touch of transfer.

1201
01:19:45,990 --> 01:19:49,868
I am passing on what god has given me...

1202
01:19:51,453 --> 01:19:52,453
To you.

1203
01:19:55,332 --> 01:20:02,006
It was at my wedding that he gave me
what I'll call a "formal public blessing."

1204
01:20:04,717 --> 01:20:08,637
Well, I don't think people
were expecting what was about to happen.

1205
01:20:08,721 --> 01:20:11,432
We were not realizing
what was about to happen.

1206
01:20:12,808 --> 01:20:15,019
He tells me
in front of the whole congregation:

1207
01:20:15,102 --> 01:20:17,521
"I see you as a man, a grown man.

1208
01:20:17,604 --> 01:20:19,940
I bless you, I believe in you."

1209
01:20:20,524 --> 01:20:22,693
He told me he loved me
in front of the audience.

1210
01:20:22,776 --> 01:20:24,445
He blessed me in front of the audience.

1211
01:20:24,528 --> 01:20:26,613
Told me he's proud of me
in front of the audience.

1212
01:20:27,448 --> 01:20:30,701
And I just remembered thinking,
"wow, you're pushing all the buttons

1213
01:20:30,784 --> 01:20:32,286
that men wanna hear their dad say."

1214
01:20:33,287 --> 01:20:37,124
When dad began to bless Alex,
it wasn't just this,

1215
01:20:37,207 --> 01:20:40,544
you know, "god bless you.
I hope things turn out well."

1216
01:20:40,627 --> 01:20:42,463
It went on and on.

1217
01:20:42,546 --> 01:20:45,424
It was like this river
that just kept flowing

1218
01:20:45,507 --> 01:20:49,386
and speaking success
over the future of his son.

1219
01:20:49,470 --> 01:20:51,680
People were just weeping...

1220
01:20:52,681 --> 01:20:55,476
Because they'd never seen a dad

1221
01:20:56,060 --> 01:20:59,521
love his son unconditionally
like that before.

1222
01:21:00,606 --> 01:21:03,275
So that's the way
he sends me off to start our family.

1223
01:21:03,359 --> 01:21:08,238
I lacked nothing emotionally
or in my heart.

1224
01:21:09,073 --> 01:21:10,574
I'm leaving full.

1225
01:21:11,367 --> 01:21:15,120
There's no better person
to do that than your dad telling you,

1226
01:21:15,204 --> 01:21:16,205
"you are a man."

1227
01:21:20,459 --> 01:21:25,172
After my blessing, dad did the same thing
for our brother Shannon at his wedding.

1228
01:21:26,006 --> 01:21:32,930
It took me months of rehearsing
in my own mind and practicing quietly

1229
01:21:33,013 --> 01:21:36,683
even in the middle of the night
when I'd wake up and think about it.

1230
01:21:38,102 --> 01:21:44,233
But I spoke to Shannon
and his bride from deuteronomy 28,

1231
01:21:44,316 --> 01:21:49,363
where it says, "if you hearken diligently
unto the voice of the lord thy god,

1232
01:21:49,446 --> 01:21:54,326
to do and to keep his commandments,
all these blessings shall come upon you."

1233
01:21:57,287 --> 01:21:59,373
So when I got married,

1234
01:21:59,456 --> 01:22:03,168
at the end of the ceremony,
dad says, "I want to bless you."

1235
01:22:05,337 --> 01:22:08,924
And dad just says, "my son,"

1236
01:22:09,007 --> 01:22:11,802
and then he told me
what he thought about me.

1237
01:22:14,179 --> 01:22:21,186
I declare that you are a beloved son
in whom we are well pleased.

1238
01:22:23,063 --> 01:22:25,649
I bless you in the name of the lord Jesus

1239
01:22:25,732 --> 01:22:29,695
that you may proclaim the gospel
with joy and enthusiasm,

1240
01:22:29,778 --> 01:22:35,451
that you may be a man
of integrity, sincere in every good work.

1241
01:22:35,534 --> 01:22:38,871
I bless you
to be a spiritual leader to your wife,

1242
01:22:38,954 --> 01:22:41,748
to be a channel of blessings to others.

1243
01:22:41,832 --> 01:22:44,126
May the lord shine his face upon you.

1244
01:22:44,209 --> 01:22:46,170
May he be gracious unto you.

1245
01:22:46,253 --> 01:22:51,633
May he give you peace, is our prayer
in the name of the lord Jesus.

1246
01:22:51,717 --> 01:22:53,969
I remember standing there thinking:

1247
01:22:54,470 --> 01:22:56,305
"I don't deserve this.

1248
01:22:56,972 --> 01:22:58,098
I haven't earned this."

1249
01:22:59,183 --> 01:23:00,684
But it wasn't about that.

1250
01:23:01,185 --> 01:23:03,270
It was about the heart of a father.

1251
01:23:13,572 --> 01:23:17,701
I would tell anyone who has longed
for a blessing

1252
01:23:17,784 --> 01:23:19,578
from their father and never gotten it,

1253
01:23:19,661 --> 01:23:21,830
that you can get it through Jesus.

1254
01:23:23,248 --> 01:23:26,793
That you can look at ephesians
and say, "because of my faith in Christ,

1255
01:23:26,877 --> 01:23:29,338
this is what my heavenly father
thinks about me."

1256
01:23:32,674 --> 01:23:36,178
We had a time in our church
where I preached on the blessing

1257
01:23:36,261 --> 01:23:37,638
of Jacob and esau.

1258
01:23:38,138 --> 01:23:41,517
And I said, "if you have not been blessed,
come fon/vard."

1259
01:23:42,518 --> 01:23:47,814
Hundreds of men,
hundreds of men came fonnard.

1260
01:23:48,857 --> 01:23:50,734
Longing for the blessing.

1261
01:23:52,486 --> 01:23:53,779
They cried.

1262
01:23:54,530 --> 01:23:56,865
They were living under a cloud.

1263
01:23:56,949 --> 01:23:58,242
A sense of being cursed.

1264
01:23:58,325 --> 01:24:02,829
Because they're doing the same things
their daddy did. Same sins, same anger.

1265
01:24:03,705 --> 01:24:05,541
I prayed a prayer of blessing.

1266
01:24:05,624 --> 01:24:07,584
There was weeping and wailing

1267
01:24:07,668 --> 01:24:11,797
at that feeling
that the future could be different

1268
01:24:12,297 --> 01:24:15,634
because I'm living now
under the blessing of god

1269
01:24:15,717 --> 01:24:17,844
and not under the cursing of my dad.

1270
01:24:19,096 --> 01:24:23,100
We have a generation of unblessed children

1271
01:24:23,684 --> 01:24:26,770
because the fathers
did not transfer the blessing.

1272
01:24:29,648 --> 01:24:33,860
The words that a father speaks
over his children are so crucial.

1273
01:24:33,944 --> 01:24:35,946
They'll remember what you said.

1274
01:24:37,781 --> 01:24:41,285
A positive blessing over your kids...

1275
01:24:42,369 --> 01:24:43,453
Is incredible.

1276
01:24:43,537 --> 01:24:47,082
And it has so much far-reaching impact
in our lives.

1277
01:24:48,917 --> 01:24:50,544
From this day fonnard...

1278
01:24:52,254 --> 01:24:56,049
May god's hand
of goodness rest on your life.

1279
01:24:56,842 --> 01:24:59,219
May you experience his love...

1280
01:24:59,886 --> 01:25:01,096
His forgiveness...

1281
01:25:02,055 --> 01:25:03,223
His power...

1282
01:25:04,182 --> 01:25:05,434
His provision...

1283
01:25:06,602 --> 01:25:09,521
For everything that you touch.

1284
01:25:10,480 --> 01:25:11,481
Your wife...

1285
01:25:12,441 --> 01:25:13,483
Your children...

1286
01:25:14,276 --> 01:25:15,694
Your work.

1287
01:25:16,445 --> 01:25:23,160
May his hand of goodness cover you
because you're underneath his covenant.

1288
01:25:23,869 --> 01:25:29,207
And may you walk now
in victory and not in defeat.

1289
01:25:30,584 --> 01:25:32,461
In Jesus' name, amen.

1290
01:25:39,217 --> 01:25:42,054
It's almost like
we've got this piece of glass.

1291
01:25:47,517 --> 01:25:50,062
And we've got a picture
of our earthly father

1292
01:25:50,145 --> 01:25:51,521
on that piece of glass.

1293
01:25:56,360 --> 01:26:01,365
And then we begin to project upon god
the attributes of our earthly father.

1294
01:26:07,079 --> 01:26:10,582
We must erase the things
about our earthly father

1295
01:26:10,666 --> 01:26:12,209
that don't look like god.

1296
01:26:12,292 --> 01:26:15,420
And we begin to look at god
through the lens of Jesus.

1297
01:26:30,686 --> 01:26:32,813
There are so many people
walking around, going:

1298
01:26:32,896 --> 01:26:35,941
"Show me god.
I can't see him, I can't hear him.

1299
01:26:38,568 --> 01:26:41,029
Where is god? Show me the father."

1300
01:26:42,114 --> 01:26:46,159
Jesus says,
"don't you realize this whole time

1301
01:26:46,243 --> 01:26:48,954
I have been representing
the father to you.

1302
01:26:49,037 --> 01:26:51,832
If you've seen me, you've seen the father.

1303
01:26:51,915 --> 01:26:54,835
I'm pouring out the love
of the father to you."

1304
01:26:55,419 --> 01:26:58,171
Through our faith in him,
we can know the father.

1305
01:26:58,255 --> 01:27:01,717
We can know the heart
of the father, his love for us."

1306
01:27:03,468 --> 01:27:08,140
Jesus said, "I came
to introduce you to the heavenly father."