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(rumbling)
(thundering)
(high pitched beeping)
♪
-Next. -Yeah.
So two hamburgers please.
No onion, no sauce, no pickle.
I don't want to see any vegetable on the burger.
He's seriously about this, all right.
Bun, burger, nothing else.
I don't want to hear him complain.
Okay, that's two plain hamburgers.
I am so sorry for being so sensitive with the food
I'm going to eat, I just love lunch.
That's okay, that's $2.36.
Yeah me and my best friend, we're together.
Hey, good things come to those who wait, huh?
Excuse me?
The line is very long.
Forget it.
I'm going to have one...
Excuse me?
Give me a second, all right.
I'm going to have one twenty--
-Twenty piece chicken-- -Stop.
I have to say the words, okay.
I'm going to have one twenty piece chick...
One twenty piece tick...
-Fuck. -Sir, I know what
-you're trying to order. -I understand, okay.
But I don't want to try to order it.
I want to order it.
I'm going to have one twenty piece chick...
(sighing)
One twenty piece--fuck!
Mother fucker!
Bill, calm down, take your time.
Stop it! Okay? Fucking sit down,
you child hamburger eating mother fucker.
Meat and bread like a fucking baby.
Okay, I'm going to have one twenty piece chicken nug...
One twenty piece chick--mother fucker!
-Sir. -Mother fucker!
Twenty piece chicken nuggets.
(shouting)
Fuck, fucking cunt mother fucker.
Fuck this fucking place, mother fucker.
How about you fucking clean this fucking mess.
Mother fucker? Huh?
Just take a look, mother fucker.
-Sir! -What time is it, huh?
-Sir. -What can I do with these hands?
What can I do with these hands?
Tell me!
(shouting)
♪
(blowing raspberries)
Okay.
Is that from the police?
It's a beauty.
The people who wrote that were being really rude
so I don't know if there's going to be
as much accuracy as you'd like.
All right, well...
how would you describe the incident?
Just passionate, heartfelt, overzealous
maybe a touch, yeah.
-Okay. -What?
-Frankly? -Yeah, give it to me
as frankly as can be, Dr. Thrush.
Frankly, it sounds like you're crazy.
You can't say that to mental patients.
Bill, it was crazy. That was very crazy.
♪
Fuck! I know, I know, I know, it's just...
-Are we going crazy again? -I don't know.
Okay, when I signed you out six months ago
I thought you were ready, that might've been a mistake.
I look at you guys now and the look in your eyes.
I mean, we don't want to be crazy.
You understand right? We don't want this.
I want to walk down the street very calm.
I want to pet all the happy dogs.
I want to be sane, I want to be happy.
Have you tried socializing?
-Well, we live together. -I know you're friends but--
Best friends, best friends.
Okay, you're best friends.
But I think it would be healthy
to try to socialize some more
outside of this relationship here.
To join a club or I don't know, play softball.
No, no, no, that's a fucking game.
I hate the game, it's a waste of time.
Okay, no games. What about jobs?
You guys gotta work at some point, right?
Gotta make some money.
Yeah, fuck a job it's a nightmare.
He's right, I mean, we're on the edge, you know,
and I don't think going and working at Walmart
stacking a bunch of tampons up
is going to give us a new lust for live.
-Do you? -I'm sorry guys,
-I'm at a loss here. -I guess, uh, we could
just go to the opera, huh?
Sit front row, sip white wine.
You know what? I made these plans weeks ago.
I wasn't planning on you guys barging in here.
Didn't mean to burden you with your higher calling.
Make an appointment, come back in here,
we'll dig into it.
I think the time to provide help to us is right now
and you didn't do it, so.
All right, well good luck, boys.
Yeah, good luck to you.
I hope she sings great and you're really delighted by it.
Jesus Christ.
(ticking)
Hey.
Hm?
I'm thinking.
I think I know why we're going crazy.
We're not crazy we just can't control ourselves sometimes.
Yeah but...
I think we're ignoring something important in life, dude.
What?
I think we need women.
I think we need girlfriends.
Too trouble.
Too trouble, too much work.
We need women in our lives in any way, dude.
It would just be better.
Think about it, if you have a girlfriend, you know,
tickle her toes.
Go see cool movies.
Eat big pizzas.
Think about that.
Just think about--Hey, are you listening?
-Mm. -Just think about--
just think about it, if you could make love to them
how much--how much pressure that would relieve, you know.
-Think about it. -Mm.
Don't you want a girlfriend?
♪
Don't you want a girlfriend?
♪
Yo, you know, it's not too late to turn away.
It's too late for me, give me that.
-It's very hot. -Good, all the better.
And more, here come more, more women.
Ugh.
-Come on, let's go. -Okay.
♪
Hello.
I'm going to be totally honest with you
because you have that kind of eyes.
Um, I'm here looking--looking to meet--to meet a woman
at the mall so.
You look like a nice person.
Have a good personality.
Oh, thank you, thanks.
So what's--what's your naturally skin care routine?
What's your skin care routine?
Um.
-Is that a good fabric? -Yeah, it's pretty good.
I haven't been to this mall since Santa Claus was here
and trying to--trying to tell me I should get a chunk of coal
and I'm like, I think--I think I deserve the castle.
You know what I mean? The play--the play castle.
-Yeah. -Did you come here with someone?
-Yeah? -Yeah, with my--my friend.
Oh okay, they take care of you?
-Like you have someone? -We take care of each other.
-Yeah? Okay. -Yeah, we take care of
each other, we're best friends.
Do they know that you left?
How about we cut to the chase?
Do you have a boyfriend?
That's a forward question.
I'm just, you know what?
I'm talking to as many people as possible and uh...
♪
Ugh, fuck.
♪
Hey.
Want to uh...
Conversation?
Oh my god, that guy's your friend?
-Yeah, I'm the other dude. -Oh, are you--are you
his like watcher or something?
Yeah, we watch each other yeah.
Okay cause he's--he's like being a little funny,
-just so you know. -What'd you say?
He's just being a little bit--
What do you mean funny?
Like his behavior?
It's a little bit inappropriate.
Oh and you're perfect.
(crashing)
Yeah.
-Okay, these are normal girls. -Uh-huh.
And ask yourself this terrible little question.
-Are we normal men? -No.
And I know the whole time we're here we're thinking,
"Oh these girls. That girl, this one."
And I'm thinking another thing at the same time.
We need two women in the same situation we're in.
You mean two girls who live in a basement?
No dude, I mean two girls that are crazy, okay.
And not crazy cute like these dolls think they are.
I'm talking fucking fire for blood nuts, all right.
That's simply brilliant.
I know and lightning strikes twice
-'cause I got another plan. -Uh-huh.
Here's what we do.
We go to Sterling Springs.
We say we're from the government.
We pick up girls, give them rides home.
They don't have a good time, fine, they got a free ride.
If they do have a good time, they like us.
That's a girlfriend opportunity for you and me.
Okay?
But how are we going to get a car, Bill?
Dude, how do we get cars?
We get a car how we get a car.
-Okay. -All right.
♪
Coward! Car keys! Car keys!
Run. Run!
♪
(laughing)
♪
What'd you find?
♪
Sterling Springs.
The nuthouse for women.
-Hey. -Hm?
Gum, you want some?
Mhm, thank you.
♪
(wind howling)
So basically you give rides--
Dude, just relax okay?
Wow, I got it, I got it, it's fine
Hi miss, you need a ride?
(wind howling)
We're--we're actually with the Washington government.
They've commissioned us to basically give rides
to people who are mentally, you know,
having challenges and quite upset, so.
(door slamming)
All right, buckle up.
Please, where do we take you?
-The store. -Which store?
Just--the next--the next store you see
just pull into it.
Which one?
Do you guys have any alcohol.
Have some good gin.
Fuck.
There's a lot of fucking cops out.
Uh, just good for communities, you know.
Hey, what's your name?
-Bonnie. -Bonnie, I'm Andy.
That's Bill, my best friend Bill.
Beautiful Bill actually.
Fuck there's too much heat on this street, dude.
I'm not gonna lie to you I'm freaking out.
It's okay, (indistinct).
Fuck.
This isn't working. This isn't working. This isn't working.
-What are you talking about? -It's not working, dude.
Dude, let me think.
Why--why are we stopping?
There's a cop trailing us, dude.
Ma'am, I gotta be honest with you.
We're not a car service.
I'm sorry, we just did a fib.
For really positive reasons.
This is going to be the end of it and I apologize.
-Come on, man. -Dude, I'm a fuck up.
I fucked up, I'm sorry, okay.
Dude, I'm sorry there were cops everywhere, you weren't...
Ugh, what's going on?
Hey ma'am, you gotta get out of the car.
You got to get out of the car.
-This is stolen, okay? -I don't care,
I haven't slept in three days.
I'm all fucked up on their shit and my phone is dead.
Okay, um, it's going to be worse if the cops come
and find you in the stolen car.
You're going to go to jail. So please get out.
Jail is warm, just leave me alone.
Look.
Ma'am. Get out.
You want me out of the car, mother fucker?
-Yes, get the fuck out. -Great, drag me out.
(car door slamming)
This--this is the wrong woman, okay?
She's fucking crazy.
Dude, she knows our name, she knows our faces.
We gotta--Dude, Andy!
I'm thinking. Shut up, I'm thinking deeply.
What?
What's your big thought?
Hi miss, Bonnie.
What if we promise you somewhere warm to sleep?
A warmer place, a cozy place to sleep.
Very, very cozy.
(coughing)
Home sweet home.
This is our--this is our set up.
-So. -I'm taking this one.
Yeah of course, wherever you want.
Mess me with me and I'll cut your fucking dicks off.
What do you think? What do you think we're like wolves
in the woods or something?
Just don't mess with me.
Bonnie, Bill and I we are two real gentlemen.
We don't mess with the ladies.
Congratulations.
Good for you guys.
Bill? Bill.
Where do I sleep?
Where do you think, dude?
(rumbling)
(footsteps)
Hey.
-Mm? -Do you want to buy me
a phone charger and some breakfast?
♪
I'm sorry I can't afford the bacon.
It's okay, this all tastes like steak
compared to the shit inside.
Yes.
What? You've been in the nuthouse?
Yeah, very much.
You and me, we spend a lot of time in that place.
Why were you in there?
When I grew up in China I felt like an alien.
People around me and nobody understand what I do.
Nobody appreciative of what I do.
They don't understand Grateful Dead.
Nine Inch Nails, Allman Brothers, b-- anyway.
So I feel like, oh, I come to America.
I got a Green Card.
English named Andy.
But I feel more lonely than before.
People around me also listen to soulless, heartless music.
EDM, fuck that.
So I was like, ugh, I'm going like a man on--
I'm like a man on an island.
Very fucking lonely.
So I weep, weep.
After that I weep, weep, weep.
That's just too much weeping.
I stay long, eventually they put me in Garden Oaks
where I meet Bill.
(muffled shouting)
Hey.
You look like the kind of guy who could use a best friend.
I ain't gonna lie, I'm that kind of guy too.
(laughing)
So why did you go in?
I've been in many times.
This time I was just being loud.
I don't have anywhere to live right now
so I just--I stay with my sister sometimes
but most of the time she just kicks me out.
And a few weeks ago I had a cut on my foot
and the only place I could wash it was in a drinking fountain.
So I was just minding my own business washing my foot
and everybody was just staring at me
-like I was shit. -They are wrong.
You are very much.
Thanks.
Well, I was yelling at them
and I think I scared them and it just freaked
everyone out and so they called the cops
and they took me to Sterling Springs
and I mean, you know how it goes.
Yup, that much I know.
♪
Bonnie, I'm glad you are crazy.
I'm not.
Even me, I'm crazy, I wish nobody was.
I wish nobody crazy but when I'm near you
and close to you I feel so fucking awesome.
I feel like you seem to have an understanding.
It's manic depression, that'll do that.
Yeah that's the word that they throw at me.
Well, what's wrong with your friend?
Bill? Bill is okay.
There is totally nothing wrong with him.
No, why was he in Golden Oaks?
You remember 9/11?
(laughing)
♪
Before we even knew what happened
things were moving around, shifting around.
Uh, I mean, my mind went right to the attack in '93.
Desks were moving, chairs,
we could literally see the floor...
Bill was a totally lover.
He hates terrorists.
So he decided to be the opposite.
-He decided to be a joyist. -A what?
A person who supply the love and the joy to the world.
Joy? Oh a joyist?
Mhm, mhm.
♪
Many, many hours passed but no people
would take any donuts.
So he spread no joy.
Only more terror.
(cellphone ringing)
It's on, I'll be right back.
Okay.
♪ I will always eat eggs ♪
♪ I will always eat eg-eg-eggs ♪
♪ I will eat eggs always ♪
What's wrong?
My sister says I can stay with her.
She doesn't want me to be there
until she's gone tomorrow night, so.
Come to my place, stay with me.
You don't think--I feel like I'm bothering your friend.
I don't want to upset him anymore.
You'll like Bill.
You'll like him, I can tell.
It will just be one more night.
One night, two nights, three nights.
Just stay with me.
Thank you.
(train honking)
(groaning)
The hell?
Bill, I take Bonnie out for breakfast.
You eat all the special cookies.
You enjoy yourself.
Sorry I was hiding them.
But save one for me. Love, Andy.
Fuck yes, bring this women into our lives, dude.
Show her your golden heart.
(crunching)
(rain pouring)
(thundering)
Which way?
(rain pouring)
Ugh.
(sniffling)
(rain pattering)
No, no, no, that's okay.
Sorry.
It's okay.
Bonnie, you see that's Angel.
That pine tree, that's Max, that's Max.
You always name the trees like this?
No, just now for you.
To entertain you, to make you happy.
Why are you always trying to entertain me?
If I tell you that you'll think I'm crazy--more crazy.
-No I won't just tell me. -Nope.
Nope.
Well, I have a secret about you too, you know.
-Yeah? -Mhm.
-Tell me. -No you tell me first
and then I'll tell you.
Ugh.
You know that tonight you are my cover from the sturdiest winds,
you are shinning with the light, golden,
a coherent song, echoing when people touch their wine glass.
Whaa, whaa, whaa, whaa,
You just think I'm pretty.
You're more than pretty, you are golden, solid gold.
No, I'm not golden.
You might be but I'm not.
Here hand me the bottle.
Mhm.
Slow, slow.
(thundering)
♪ When I'm with you ♪
♪ I feel so fine ♪
♪ When I'm with you I feel so alive ♪
♪ When I'm with you, oh, Bonnie ♪
♪ I feel...♪
What? What are you looking at?
Where's you mother?
Quit looking at us.
Stop looking at me!
We have a life.
Get to your own fucking life.
Sh, come here, come here.
What are you doing?
People these days.
-People! -You're an idiot.
People.
What are you doing?
Bonnie, let me od this.
Your eye's fine, trust me.
Just let me do this, trust me.
They lied to you.
They lied to you, you see, it's fine, it's healing.
Uh, that feels so good.
Sorry.
(rain pouring)
(shouting)
(cheering)
(tea kettle screaming)
(murmuring)
How--how's it going?
It's good, good--Can you--Can you leave tonight?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's going on?
So Bonnie and me we kiss on the street.
Can you sneak out on the back?
-Yeah. -Thank you so much.
Yeah of course, dude, of course.
-Can you just do me one favor? -Yeah.
If you get a chance to make love
just don't wear a condom, okay?
-You got it. -You promise?
-Yeah. -Get her disease,
-make babies, be real. -Make love.
Okay, I'm serious though.
-She's here. -I know, I know
but this isn't robot rubber big life, okay?
-She's--she's here. -All right, just promise me.
-I promise you. -All right, just say
"I promise I won't use a condom."
I promise you.
I know but say, "I promise."
-I promise. -"I won't use a condom."
-Please. -I promise whatever promise.
Go, go, go, she's here.
-What? -Why are you being difficult?
-Just promise. -Dude, she's here.
I know but I don't believe you until you say it.
Say "I promise I wont use a condom."
I don't like people forcing me promises.
-Look at me, I'm uncomfortable. -I don't care.
I'm not gonna leave until you do it.
Dude, you said you'd leave.
Once you promise me.
Why is this promise so important to you?
Because dude, you haven't made love in like three years.
-I will do that. -All right, well say
"I promise I won't wear a condom."
I'm not going to fucking do a promise to this.
Yes you do, I'm your man. Say it.
-Okay, I promise you. -Promise me what?
I promise you we will not wear a condom.
Okay, great you got it.
Go seal it.
(train honking)
I'll see you later.
(door squeaking)
♪
(dog barking)
♪
Hey cigarettes.
You gotta do it, huh.
-You got one for me? -Last one, buddy.
Last one?
All right.
I don't care.
♪
Last night you live in your house before it burns down.
♪
(laughing)
Oh my god.
♪
(mimicking gun noises)
♪
-Boo! -Fuck.
-You scared me. -Join the club.
-Where's our An-Man? -He went to the store
to get some food.
Very cool.
What is that?
That is treasure.
So you and my buddy?
You're in a relationship now, huh?
I mean, we had a good day together.
And a fun night, right?
I don't think that's any of your business, Bill.
Well, you know, my business, not my business.
I don't really keep track of that kind of thing.
-I see that. -They call it making love
for a reason, right?
Sex seals relationships.
So you guys, you're together now.
That's not how I do things.
Yeah but that mother fucker out there getting breakfast,
I mean, he's a mad man.
-Yeah, I'm right there with yah. -Okay.
So then you know that mad men and mad women
feel things differently.
And Andy feels things hard.
Really hard.
So if you guys made love
or even if like you just held his hand for a minute
he's going to be in love with you.
You know, that's--that's the way mad men work
and it's the way I work.
And that's why Andy and me,
we're in mother fucking love.
You two are in love?
It's just platonic
but it's very, very deep
and it might even be stronger
than what you guys could form
because there's no sexual complications
or anything like that.
But if you are with Andy
you're also with me.
I don't understand what you're saying.
I'm talking about that me and Andy are friend-married.
One, two, three, friend-married.
(spitting)
♪
I love you.
I could feel my blood going into him
and I could feel his blood going into me
and it was just like from then on
we're both each other's dad's
and then we're also both each other's sons.
But once you come into this
you're not going to be my daughter.
You know what you're going to be?
What? What am I?
You're gonna be my mommy.
You know what I mean?
Like, just like take care of me,
nurture me, just mommy stuff, you know, it's like...
(mimicking baby crying)
Change my poopy diappy, mommy.
You know, just joking way like...
(mimicking baby crying)
Hey, what's going on?
Oh, I was just telling Bonnie
that she's my mommy and you love her.
-Oh. -You love her, right?
-Yeah. -See? Told you.
This nutball's in love.
Well, I got you guys some burritos.
-Oh hell yeah. -Burritos for everyone.
-Thank you. -Thanks.
It's good.
(chewing)
♪
(knocking)
♪
-Hey. -Hey.
-How's it going? -Good, how are you?
I'm okay.
Did I beat Andy here or?
No, he's just in the bathroom.
Ah, so you're pretty rich huh?
Uh, it's my sister's.
Oh yeah.
Well hey, I have an idea.
What if we drink all your sister's booze?
-You into that? -I'm into that.
Bonnie Mommy, I knew I liked you.
♪
Hey, it's the man of the hour.
-How's it going? -Good, real happy
-to see you. -All right, count to 20,
-you ready? -Mhm.
So this is when they were in a meeting
and this PowerPoint presentation on...
social media interactivity or something like that
and all of a sudden, in the light of the projector
is this shadow.
And I look over and there's this coke can
that was on the middle of the conference table,
has risen up and it was just floating
in the light of the projector.
-That's crazy. -I just like stopped breathing.
I was blown away, I'm like wh--what--how is this happening?
And I look around and all of a sudden my boss stops talking,
snatches it out of the air
and then just finishes the presentation.
-What the fuck? -Yeah and then everyone
just gets up to leave
and I'm like, we just saw a fucking divine thing
you numbskulls.
What'd they say when you said that?
I didn't actually say that, not then.
-You should've said it. -Sh, sh.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, sorry, sorry.
And so later that night I go home to tell my husband
about it and he's like "So what? You believe in God now?"
And I'm like "Yeah, I believe in God
and I believe he spoke to me."
-And you know what he said? -Drink coke?
-No. -Wait, drink Pepsi.
No.
He said the opposite.
You know, he blocked that profane light
with God's light to tell me that the life that I was leading
-was shit and I deserve better. -Yeah, it makes sense.
That impetus that moment where God showed himself to me
was real, I wasn't crazy in that moment.
It's just, you know, when I told people
I--I think I shouted it.
Yeah, it's like a passionate thing to say, right.
Yeah, well, I shouted a lot of things.
I went around trying to find any kind of messages
that I could find.
Only I think I was imagining it most of the time
and then I just--I don't know,
I just kind of lost it and I became homeless
and lost my friends and you know how it goes.
You know, people are mean.
-People are-- -Sh, sh, sh.
Just the life I'm leading now is so much better
than the life I was leading with my stupid husband.
-Life with Andy. -Huh?
That's the life you're living now, life with Andy.
And let me tell you,
that's as good as it gets.
Yes of course.
So far so good
and it's only going to get better.
I promise.
Okay, I trust you.
♪
(growling)
-Shoot the dragon. -Right there?
-Yeah. -Ugh.
I'm gonna get him.
He dead, he dead.
He's dead.
(laughing)
He's dead.
(water dripping)
What was the dragon's name?
Um, The Red One.
-The Red One? -Yeah.
He goes, de-blah.
He dead.
(sizzling)
-Bill? -Yeah.
-You are the dragon. -Shut the fuck up.
♪
Mm.
Hey, sorry.
-Um. -What are you doing
-in my room? -So I just um,
I think you might be pregnant.
No, I can't get pregnant.
Trust me, I tried hard.
What do you mean you tried?
You feel like you had a lot of love?
You made a lot of love or what?
No like vitamins, hormones, IVF.
I don't--It's none of your business.
Okay, I had a dream that me and you and Andy
and our son were walking through the forest
and we killed a dragon and ate it
but when I have dreams this vivid
and this intense it usually means there's something
-true about it, okay? -Mhm.
I just think you might want to piss on a test
and lay off the sauce 'cause you could really
-possibly be pregnant. -Okay, sure.
Just get out, you're gonna wake Andy.
I'm not gonna wake that guy, dude.
He'll sleep through anything, watch.
-What are you doing? -Oh shit.
Sorry Andy.
Um, did you just dream about dragons?
-No why? -No reason.
No reason at all.
You got room for one more in here?
Mm, yeah.
♪
(slow motion laughing)
♪
(squeaking)
Uh Andy, good to see you dude.
Here, you want some yellow rice?
Mhm.
Mm.
What's going on?
-Dude, you were right. -Dr. Thrust is gay?
I knew it, dude, I fucking knew it.
It's Bonnie, Bonnie pregnant.
Dude, why are you so glum?
That's amazing.
That's great, dude.
You think a women's good to have around?
Dude, a baby is ten times better.
A baby's like a ball of pure light.
Nothing's better than a baby!
This is great.
You don't have to feed the baby.
I just fed you, didn't I?
I'm a natural, come on here.
No, no, whatever you say
you don't have to buy the food.
Dude, look, do you love Bonnie?
You love life? You love babies?
Then look what you have, man.
This is good for us, okay.
-I just don't-- -Don't--no, don't act like
this is a bad thing, come on.
I just don't want to get a job.
Who the fuck said you have to get a job?
Baby costs so much money, I'll have to get a job.
No dude, you don't need a job you just need money.
-I have to get a job. -No dude, money.
-Listen to me, a job. -No, dude.
You just need money, okay.
(car humming)
We need to get like shotguns, AKs, Uzis.
If they're not real they've got to be real enough looking
to fool a little near-sighted bank guard.
Here he come snow.
Psh, look at this wimp.
They should've hired us to guard this bank.
You think you could take this guy out?
Yeah, easy.
Fuck yeah, dude.
One solid Chinese kick to the chest, he's down.
All right, what do we got?
We've got a shotgun, new shoes--
-Running shoes. -Yeah, okay, running shoes.
-What else? -Latex gloves, pantyhose.
-Pantyhose. -Yeah.
-Distraction mannequin. -Perfect.
-Energy bars. -Pumpkin pie.
-Chocolate, chocolate. -Both, both.
Okay, black--black clothes.
-Perfect. -Mhm.
Goddamn, look at that juicy bank, buddy.
I can already taste it.
Taste what?
Red wine.
-Come on, let's go. -Okay.
I don't know what Mitchel told you but uh--
-Whoa, whoa. -Oh sorry.
-How do you? -It's right there.
-Keep that there. -I'm actually going on safari,
hunting gorillas.
Pretty aggressive breed actually.
They uh, they tend to come at you all at once
when you take their bananas from their banana banks.
-You know what I mean? -I don't and I don't want to.
Um, I would go with the shotgun here though.
-Okay. -I could do uh, $300 on it.
Okay.
Um, here's the deal I'm gonna have to pay you
after I get the bananas.
See cause I'm broke.
But once I do the gun thing I'll have the money to pay you.
All right, you know what, you gotta go man.
-What? -You gotta go.
I'm gonna pay you whatever you want.
You gotta go, okay.
I just don't have money right now.
That's why you gotta go.
I'm not really scared of guns.
-Please go. -Okay, okay.
You missed an opportunity.
(door slamming)
Bill, what did you do last night?
I just went at looked at the cat.
What's that mean?
Uh, like 18 months ago me and Andy
found this dead cat in like an empty lot.
We've just been watching it decompose
every time we walk by
and it's in this awesome stage now.
Like it's bones have turned into these like
little glistening toothpicks in the dirt.
It's really beautiful actually, so.
Bill, Bonnie and I, we are eating.
-It's okay. -Good for you,
I gotta go to the bathroom.
♪
Jesus.
Bonnie, I saw a black widow run in here so I just--
I saw you take my sister's jewelry.
-You're a terrible liar. -All right, fine,
I'm sorry, here.
You win, okay? Sorry.
No harm, no foul okay?
What--what are you guys doing in there?
Oh we're just talking about a bunch of sports scores.
Just shit you don't like. Basketball stuff.
He as stealing my sister's jewelry.
Do you have any idea what my sister would do
if she thought I was stealing from her?
Huh, Bill? I'd be homeless again.
Well, you wouldn't be homeless again.
I would never let that happen to us, okay.
And I wasn't stealing her stuff.
I was borrowing it to pawn it, okay.
What do you need it for?
I can't--I can't tell you that part.
Andy, what's going on?
I don't want to deal with this shit.
-Don't tell her. -What so you're just gonna
-walk away from this? -Yeah, he just--he just--
let him be--let him be away from this,
you're whipping something up here.
Bill, why did you take the gold?
I can't tell you, okay.
It just was really, really, really important.
I'll find another way but it was the first plan, you know.
Please, what is this noble cause?
It's like a cool glorious thing
but I just can't tell you, okay.
What, you don't trust me?
No, I mean, honestly
with this kind of info I'm not there with you yet.
I don't trust you, so.
I'm sorr--Bonnie, what do you want from me?
How can I tell you my biggest secret
of what I'm going to do, you know what I mean?
Bill, tell me.
Can I--can I--you promise you won't tell anybody else?
-Yeah. -All right, I'm robbing a bank.
Me and Andy are robbing a bank.
What the fuck? What?
What's so funny about that?
-You're not robbing a bank. -Yes I am and so is--
Yeah, Andy's going to come in there with a fucking six shooter
and I'm going to be being like watch--watch--
I'm going to tell all the fucking tellers
"That mother fucker's going to kill you."
I gather up the money and we leave and then you have money.
Bill, you're a child, you're an actual fucking child.
You couldn't get your shit together to even
walk into a bank let alone rob a bank.
-I don't have my shit together? -Uh-uh.
You're homeless, crazy and pregnant.
Yes, Andy told me, you're pregnant
and we need to take care of you and the baby.
If we rob a bank you have a good healthy baby.
-Think about it. -Stop talking about my baby.
Okay, look, I can talk about that child
because I dreamt it, all right.
I coerced sperm to egg with my mind.
I'm part of all this happening.
I'm not insane, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not insane for that.
-Get out of my house! -Oh my god.
First off, it's not your house.
It's your sisters, okay.
And if she knew that I was trying to help you
get out of it she'd say, "Bill, you stay.
You make your plan, get Bonnie out of your hair."
Get out of my house or I'm calling the cops.
Look, I'm a quarter Cherokee.
Listen, this land is mine.
-Get out of my house. -Oh my god.
-You know I'll hit women right? -Fine, hit me,
fucking hit me and see what happens.
Just fucking hit me, Bill.
-I--I--I -Yeah, that's right
-you're pathetic. -I'm not pathetic.
-I'm going to rob a bank. -Leave Andy of out this.
Get the fuck out of my house, go.
-Really? -Yeah, you're a piece of shit.
-You won't talk to me? -You piece of shit idiot.
Goddamn.
(door slamming)
Way to call a guy's bluff.
(muffled shouting)
Here we go.
Yeah, that's it, that's her.
(shouting)
(door slamming)
Ugh, fuck.
What's wrong?
She's going to dump me, I know it.
No, dude, she's going to forgive us in the morning.
Look, what's important is that we set a precedent in there.
All right? You don't mess with the boys.
Ugh, it's fucking terrible.
Dude, hey, hey, this dick?
She's addicted to this dick, all right.
Come on, let's just go get loaded.
Let's take it to the next level, An-Man.
I'm talking Martian, curtain call, lime rickey.
Ready? Huh?
♪
(sighs, mumbles)
♪
(laughter)
♪
We need a peaceful moment, need a peaceful moment.
All right, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
-I'm sorry. -Need a peaceful moment.
Need to drink more.
-Oh, fuck. -I gotta do this.
We got one left.
Okay, wait, I've always wanted to do this.
You ready? Okay.
Don't move, okay?
Okay, you gotta stay still.
(laughing)
Look.
♪
Open up.
(mumbling)
Holy shit, it's gonna work.
It's gonna work, okay.
(laughing)
Okay, it worked!
We got it.
We got liftoff.
♪
Is it fun?
So delicious.
You look like a little baby.
(laughing)
♪
(groans)
Andy?
(train whistle blowing)
Andy?
(train whistle blowing)
(groaning)
♪
Andy?
(horn honking)
♪
(spits)
♪
(food splats)
(door opens)
An-man.
Where you been, dude?
Bonnie's.
It's Bonnie's sister's, okay?
Don't let her get up on her high horse.
She's a bag lady.
Don't let her forget that, all right?
Dude, want another cigarette?
Yeah.
Here you go, a little Martian milk for you.
Thank you.
You got a full pack, huh?
Where'd you get that?
That's not important.
Let me tell you something.
I got in a huge fight with Bonnie about you.
What do you mean? How so?
So basically she gave me a show--
how do you say, showdown?
Showdown.
She gave me a showdown, she's like,
"Andy, it's you and me or you with Bill."
And then you just came right over here?
(Bill laughs)
That's fuckin' awesome, dude.
I'd have given anything to see her expression.
Was she just like, "Oh, Andy, please stay with me?
I'm so sorry. I love you, Andy.
I made a mistake."
Fuck, Bill, I have to move out.
Wait, she said that or...
No, I decide to move out.
No, fuck that, dude, that's bullshit.
You know that's bullshit.
Don't move out of here.
No, dude.
That's not-- This is your home, man.
-I'm in love. -I know you're in love,
but that doesn't preclude me from being part of it.
I'm part of it, and I've talked to her about it.
But you're not part of this.
She doesn't want you being a part of this.
That's just 'cause I fought with her, man.
I'm serious, dude, I can get her some flowers,
bring some roses to her, I can make things up to her.
Dude, that's not a good idea.
That's a bad idea. Don't do that.
Okay, look, look, look, then what about this?
Okay, look,
how about this?
We'll drink these drinks, we'll rest our big brains,
and we come up with a new plan, okay?
And we get you a new woman, one who loves you even more
and one who likes me, all right?
That's what we do, that's all we gotta do, man.
-I'm late. -Seriously, late for Bonnie?
-Fuck Bonnie, dude. -Dude, with Bonnie, I feel sane.
With you, when you're here, I feel insane.
-I want to be sane. -I get it, okay, fine, fine,
but she's not making you sane, dude.
Look at you, she's making you into some kind of goofball.
You're fucking dressed like a little chocolate bunny.
-It's fucking ridiculous. -Dude,
Bonnie put a lot of strong in me.
Dude, that doesn't even make sense in English.
-It makes sense to me. -Well, it doesn't make sense
to the rest of America.
-Bill. -What?
I have to go, I really...
-Bonnie's waiting for me. -No, you don't have to go.
This is our place, we're gonna hang out here a little bit.
All right? Sit the fuck down.
Dude, you put me in this situation all this...
-How the fuck did I... -...to try to steal her stuff,
-all this bank robbery stuff. -Bullshit, that was your--
You wanted to rob a bank, too, dude.
I just talked to her about it. Sorry for being fucking honest.
-Okay? -I'm late.
-Stop it, stop it! -Dude, I don't like this.
-You don't like what? -I'm late.
You don't like what, motherfucker, huh?
Go, get the fuck outta here.
I don't even fucking want to be around you.
-Dude, I don't like this. -You don't like this?
I don't like this either.
-So goodbye. -Okay, fine.
Look at you, Mr. Cool.
Fight me, you fuck.
Come on, fight me, fight me!
(slams table)
Motherfucker. Motherfucker.
(inhales)
Calm down.
Calm down. Calm down.
(birds chirping)
(grunting)
Where the fuck do you think you're going?
(bottles clattering)
Huh?
Let me go, let me go.
Let me go, okay? Let me go.
Fuck you.
Don't go, dude.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Dude, I'm nothing without you.
Dude, I don't want to hurt you.
Just don't go, I'm sorry.
-No, dude... -I'm sorry, dude.
-I'm sorry. -It's the last chance.
I just don't know what to do.
-Let me go, okay? -I just don't know what to do.
-I don't want to hurt you. -I don't know what to do.
-I don't know... -Let me go.
(dog barking)
(Bill breathing heavily)
(train honking)
(sobbing)
(slapping)
Come on.
(slapping)
♪
Think I'm a bad fucking family member, huh?
Think I'm a bad family member, Bonnie?
Oh, what's in the bag?
Two hundred thousand dollars cash for you
and your unborn baby.
No, no, no, no, I won't take any, I don't--
(spraying)
(spray can rattling)
(spraying)
♪
(can clatters)
♪
(traffic rushing)
Sir?
Can I help you?
I don't know, is your name Benedict Arnold?
Excuse me?
You ever wanna get in there, huh?
-You wanna get in here? -You ever wanna get in there?
Yeah, I work here.
It's your lucky day, cabrón.
What do you mean, it's my lucky day?
It's a two-man job.
Two-man job? Okay.
(mumbles)
(glass shattering, clattering)
Anybody home?
Huh, anybody home?
All right, how about this?
Little music?
Little bit of dance, huh?
♪
You wanna dance with Bill?
Come on.
I'm having fun out here!
I'm having a blast!
Come on, motherfuckers!
Okay.
No dancing, huh?
♪
Where'd you get this, from little Grammy Fanny, huh?
Little Grammy Fanny?
(shattering)
♪
I'm just gonna take a piss out here, all right?
Here I go.
-I'm going. -Bill, don't pee in there.
It's a bluff, it's a bluff.
You think I don't know the rules?
Get Bonnie out here, we need a family meeting right now!
-We're not a family. -Time to talk bank robbery.
We are not a family, Bill.
-Oh, no? -Yeah, we're not.
Okay, so she's already out here, huh?
She tucked in your cheek, or has she got a string
tied around your prick and she's tugging on that?
-Why'd you even come here? -I came here because I love you
and we have a really fucking important bank robbery to do.
If you love me, you'll leave me alone.
That doesn't make sense.
If you love someone, you want to be around them.
-That's the whole fucking point. -I'm finally in love.
-(unintelligible) -You keep saying "love"
so many fucking times, it's lost all meaning.
You love, love, love.
-Yeah, yeah. -Yeah, yeah?
But I'm a part of it, Andy.
I'm a fucking part of it.
You're not gonna be a part of this.
Yes, I am, okay?
I don't care what you think or what you're thinking now
or what you thought.
Open your heart to me.
Open your fucking heart to me like we promised
and talked about, Mommy.
-Do you remember? -You're insane.
I called the cops.
Good, me and the boys in blue go way back.
I can't wait for a little reunion.
Bring 'em on, bring 'em on, let's see what happens.
-Bill, Bill, Bill... -Bullets!
Bill, just leave, don't go to jail.
I'm not going to jail, I didn't do anything.
Look at that, you're breaking and entering!
-You also assault me. -Assault?
You ever think maybe I'm trying to just open up
a fucking third eye on your head, huh, huh?
-You think that maybe, huh? -Hey, stop.
-She needs to see God again. -Don't point your finger at me.
She needs a place where she can see God.
This is the kind of insane talk that I don't want to be around.
That's the kind of talk you need 'cause you need to see God
and you've been thinking it since I met you.
I can see it in your fucking eyes,
there's no God here.
-What? -You leave.
-I leave? -Yeah, you showed who you are
you made her upset, I don't want...
Oh, look at you, Mr. Fucking Calm, huh?
You remember who used to pet your head, huh,
when you were all suicidal and crying?
-Who did that? -It's not like that anymore.
-It's not, no? -It's not like that anymore.
Yeah, 'cause you get one sip of the golden cup,
and all of a sudden, you have everything figured out.
And I'm the fucking fool, and I'm the fucking idiot?
-Stop babble at us... -Babble?
Rhapsody, motherfucker. That's rhapsody.
-Stop! Bill, stop. -Listen,
you really want me to fucking leave, huh?
-Yup. -You want me to leave?
-Yeah, do you? -Please leave.
Okay, look me in the eyes, tell me you don't love me.
-I don't love you. -Okay, fine.
-Tell me you fucking hate me -I fucking hate you.
Fine. What the fuck's the point of life, huh?
What's the point of any of this? No love?
-Just leave, okay? Just leave. -Fucking nightmare.
You're living in a fucking nightmare,
and I don't want to go in there.
Fuck this, Andy.
You're gonna come crying back to me!
I'm going to fucking Jupiter!
♪
(barking)
♪
♪ Open up the churches pass
to try to find a window ♪
♪
♪ Leaving all the ghosts in us
to stand in a holy river ♪
♪ As your shadow falls on me ♪
♪
♪ Cast through treasure of ivory ♪
♪
♪ Meet me at the snowy plain
where we want adventure ♪
♪ You will call me by my name ♪
♪ A voice made of winter ♪
♪ As your shadow falls on me ♪
♪
♪ Cast through treasure of ivory ♪
♪
♪ As your shadow falls on me ♪
♪
♪ Cast through haze of memory ♪
♪
♪ Some will live and some will die ♪
♪ And some will rise to glory ♪
♪
♪ I'm no longer asking why ♪
♪ I just tell the story ♪
♪
♪ Holy shadow ♪
♪
♪ Oh, holy shadow ♪
♪
(wind howling)
Okay.
So now, I want you to shut your eyes
and think of a shape and color that you feel defines you.
We're going to go around the circle,
and once everyone's had a chance to speak,
we're going to discuss what each of us said.
Ollie?
You go first.
An orange square,
like my hairs.
Great.
Now you, Tim.
Uh, an egg.
What color?
Just an ordinary egg.
Okay.
-Now you, William. -Bill.
-Okay, Bill. -Beautiful Bill.
And what do you see?
(fire crackling, bellowing)
A black arrow.
♪
(ball bouncing, jingling)
♪
(spits)
(ball bouncing)
♪
(exhales)
What?
What do you want?
♪
(Bill laughing)
No, no.
No, uh-uh.
You gotta get up in there.
You gotta get deeper.
There's little hairs up in here.
No, which part?
Oh, God, here, just let me do it,
let me do it.
So the asshole split on you, huh?
Yup.
What happened?
I'm not a good partner.
Dude, you're the best partner.
No, as a partner in romance.
I got fired from so many jobs.
Bonnie and I were (unintelligible).
No, she left.
How long you been solo?
Six months.
Tale as old as time, brother.
A man/woman situation is tenuous at best.
So you know what you gotta do now, right?
Yeah, get her back.
(grunting, screaming)
Bill!
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Dude, Bill...
I'm sorry, but, here.
We're not gonna get her back, okay?
Your kid, we gotta get your kid, okay?
We're gonna-- we're gonna kidnap your son.
Okay? That's all that matters right now, all right?
-What's his name? -George.
-Dude. -What?
Zechariah, the firstborn is Zechariah.
Whatever, we'll change his name when we get him back.
First we just gotta get me outta here.
-Bill, Bill. -What?
Are you okay? Are you sane?
I still--I just--I have like this new kind of humming,
like an e--it's like an ext-- like an internal/external energy
that's just like pulsing in me and it's making me stronger,
but I'm fucking crazy, I am fucking crazy,
but I feel like if I could have you and your son,
you'll keep me sane, right?
Yeah.
-Really? -Yeah, of course.
You're still my best friend?
Always best friend.
-Then we just gotta get me out. -Yeah.
My opinion of myself right now is just like off the charts.
Like it's very, very, very high.
"Very, very, very..."
Three verys.
"Very high."
Do you think that's the problem?
I don't know, how would you define "problem"
in that context?
Well, you know, when you're manic,
you tend to self-aggrandize quite a bit.
Well, that's in the past, right?
Like, when I say it now,
I mean like, a solid B+ gentleman.
Like I'm just feeling like a good, regular guy
looking to live a good, regular life
in that old good, regular world, you know?
And, uh, honestly, doc, it's like,
when you think about it, I've been in here four years
for one night of Wolfman, and you and I both know
it's time for me to be unleashed, you know?
Are you sure you want that, you know, and the regular life?
You talk about monotony all the time.
Yeah, but, I mean, I realize like
the quote-unquote "regular world,"
that's where the uncharted terrain is
and where I think I can accomplish my life goals
and contribute to society in that healthy way.
-Do you know what I mean? -Mm-hmm.
-You understand? -Yeah.
I'm ready for it, sir.
-Are you, Bill? -Hundred percent.
I have no doubts.
I don't know.
(clock ticking)
♪
So you're living in here, dude?
-Yeah, terrible. -Yeah?
Well, it's good, dude.
It's a good thing.
Living in your car is cool, all right?
Where's Bonnie at?
Bonnie moved in with her new boyfriend,
into his mansion.
-What do you mean, a mansion? -A mansion.
Oh, fuck, dude.
I'm sorry, but with a mansion?
You're kinda fucked, man.
He's got statues everywhere, fucking topiary,
all that gilding.
People get entranced by that shit, dude.
It was terrible.
-So you've been there? -Yeah, four times.
Yeah, what, did they sit you down for some big, weepy talk?
"Oh, Andy, we're in love now.
I'm so sorry, Andy.
It's our time for love."
-Oh, stop, stop. -They do that?
Yeah, they also fucking kissed a couple of times.
Jesus fucking Christ, what'd you do?
I tried to burn that motherfucking place down.
That's my man.
Well, when you were there,
you weren't just getting a big, weepy talk.
You know what else you were doing?
-Do you? -What, what?
You were doing reconnaissance.
(dog barking)
I just gotta visit my sleepy buddy here real quick.
Think he'll, uh...
(chuckles)
...hook us up.
(brakes squealing)
All right.
Keep the car running, okay?
Hey, don't be so sad, all right?
We're getting your son.
(television playing)
(tires screeching on TV)
(car crashing on TV)
Oh, what's going on?
Hey, what's up?
Um, I'm Douglas Peterson, I'm friends with Randall.
Oh, Randall's asleep.
Yeah, of course he is.
Uh, I got something to drop off for him.
-You mind if I head up? -Go for it.
(snoring)
Early bird strikes again.
(snoring continues)
Thanks for the worms, you lazy bastard.
♪
See?
Yup.
You look like a fucking monster.
-Fuck. -Terrifying people,
and then you're like-- hey, you're like...
Here, here, dude, are you doing it right?
♪
(groans)
Dude, don't be a baby.
No, don't, that's--
Wait, wait, stop, stop, stop.
Dude, it's your hair bristles, they're like Velcro.
Chill out.
Dude, I don't think-- this isn't going on.
No, no, no.
(bottles clink)
(groans)
Let's do this.
-Ready? -Yeah.
Okay, okay, look at me.
-You're gonna be brave? -Yeah.
How brave do you think I'm gonna be?
Super, super fucking brave.
-George. -George.
-Family. -Family.
-George. -George.
-Family. -Family.
-George. -George.
-Family. -Family.
(chanting accelerates)
Let's go!
(crickets chirring)
(breathing heavily)
(door rattling)
Fuck.
(groaning)
It's locked.
Yes, yes, yes.
Go, go, go, go.
(dog barking)
(breathing heavily)
(door opens)
(breathing heavily)
(door open, light flicks on)
-Mama? -Hey, hey, hey.
Come on. Yeah, come on.
(breathing heavily)
Go, go, go, go.
George.
Hey.
Come with me, come with me.
Hey, little boy.
Do you remember me from when I dreamed about you?
Let's go.
(video game beeping)
(door opens)
(crickets chirring)
(grunting)
Who's the rock star?
(glass shattering)
(playful shouting)
(Bill laughing)
You're more fun than adults. I hate adults.
-Adults are the worst. -I'm saving the snake.
-Bill. -What?
Don't make him feel this way.
George, come over here.
Brush your teeth.
Come.
(knocking)
What was that?
(sighs)
Come here, I think it's Sam.
Sam?
Fuck, that's him.
It's fucked now.
All right, here's what we do.
-What? -Listen, listen,
just stay totally quiet, stay totally quiet.
-Okay. -Okay?
I'm just gonna wait out here,
so whenever you're ready to talk, let me know.
-I got cigarettes. -Cigarettes!
What do we do?
-You know what I say, Andy? -You say shit all the time.
I say if you see a snake in the woods, gobble it up.
Put that kid in the bathroom.
Go, go, go, stay inside.
Your uncle Bill and Daddy need to fight a monster.
You want me to go in the bathroom?
(exhales)
-Hey. -Bill?
Yeah, Beautiful Bill. Come on in, come on in, dude.
(laughing)
Turn the fuck around.
Put your hands behind your back, now.
Put your hands behind your back.
Why are you doing this? I just--
-I'm doing this because-- -There's no tr--
I don't know who-- hey, buddy, buddy, buddy.
I don't know who the fuck you are, all right?
Put your wrists together.
Put them together.
I...
-There you go. -I just wanted to talk
to you guys.
Never been fucking tied up before, huh?
No.
Well, first time for everything, bud.
Turn the fuck around.
(grunts)
Huh, huh, huh?
Look at me.
What are you doing here?
-I just wanted to talk-- -What the fuck is this?
It's whiskey 'cause I wanted to have a drink with you guys.
No, that's poison, all right?
We're not drinking your poison,
and I'm not falling for your fucking tricks, okay?
-What's going on? -I know that
you took George, all right?
Bullshit, that did not happen.
We did not take George.
I don't even know who that is.
(chuckling)
I know you took him, and I understand.
If I was in your position,
I'd probably do the same thing, okay?
What do you mean? What are you talking about?
If you will just listen to me.
I basically just wanted to kind of lay things out
from a different perspective and have a rational conversation
without this shit going on.
What, this shit?
This isn't a boardroom, okay?
We're not a couple of your investors,
and we're not gonna watch
a friffin' PowerPoint presentation
on how you're some kind of man of the hour, get that?
I'm not trying to talk like that,
-I'm not trying to sound-- -You are talking like that,
you're sounding like a fucking fake.
-Okay... -Do you get it?
I'm not trying to sound phony.
I'm sorry, I'm just nervous.
What do you expect with a gun in my face?
What do I expect? I expect behavior.
I expect compliance.
Andy, you can vouch for me.
I don't know you.
We know each other a little bit.
Now you think I'm important?
Now you're asking me for help?
You ruined my life.
You ruined his fucking life.
Look, you know me-- you know me a little bit--
-I don't know you. -It's nothing personal.
No, no, Andy does, and you, I know--
I know about you from stories.
Yeah? What kinda stories? Horror stories?
And now you walked into one, ding-dong.
You don't need to do this, all I wanted to do
was just come here and show you I'm a good, honest person.
That's, you know, we're gonna be the judge of who you are.
Sam, where'd you get all your money?
Why you are so rich? Where's your money from?
Where's your fucking money from?
From--just from tech.
Technology, technology.
That's fucking boring.
Fine, it's boring, but you know, it doesn't matter
'cause there's two things that can happen now, all right?
One, the cops can get involved if you guys keep this up
and Bonnie flips out and then you never see George again,
but there's the other option, if you listen to me,
where you give me George and I put him back in bed,
I get him home real quick before Bonnie knows anything,
and we can forget any of this ever happened.
All right, and then I'll talk to Bonnie and I'll reason with her
and I'll make sure you guys are a part of George's life.
Or, how about this, what about this option?
What do you say to me just blowing your cock off right now?
What would you say to that?
-Don't. -Don't?
(Bill laughs)
Sam, I actually like that.
Succinct, smart.
You know, if you say enough things I like,
guess what happens then.
What?
-Could end up liking ya. -Great, I'd like that.
You would? Why?
Because I like you!
You don't like me, you don't fucking know me!
I'd like to know you, I like your vibe.
Fucking empty compliments.
Come here.
You don't need-- you don't need to do this.
Hey, fuck you.
Look, you stay right the fuck here, okay?
Look, stay right here.
Look at me! Stay here, okay?
You fucking move an inch while we're gone,
cock off, life gone, cock off, life gone.
That fucking order.
You will feel it.
What do you think?
I hate that motherfucker!
Yeah, I see why you feel that way.
-You don't? -Well, I mean,
I know I'm being all macho in there,
but I don't think he's lying.
Dude, he's a fucking liar!
Look at you though, you're an emotional mess.
You can't even think straight, dude.
You can think straight?
Yeah, yeah, straight as a black arrow, okay?
And I think if we just sit him down and we have a talk--
We walk in, we kill him, we go to Mexico.
You know I've never really killed anybody, right?
I've been lying, I've been telling fibs.
If you're my best friend, you fucking kill him.
Yeah, I will kill him, I'll kill anybody you want,
but you gotta give me three minutes with him first, okay?
I gotta check something.
-Three minutes? -Three minutes.
You're asking me to fucking kill somebody, okay?
It's the least you can do.
(door opens)
(door closes)
(exhales)
A lot of options here, Sam.
You're a businessman, you know it's hard to, uh,
pull the trigger sometimes, so to speak.
Come here.
Think you made a few mistakes with my buddy out there.
Come a little closer.
Perch up real good.
So, we're gonna play a game now.
I'm not talking Monopoly.
I'm talking Ouija board, next-level shit.
You ready for that?
Sure.
Let me ask you a question first.
Are you a good man?
I'm okay.
You sure about that?
Yeah.
(sighs)
You ever go crazy before?
Like your head was spinning around in a dryer set on high?
-Huh, have you? -Yeah.
-For real? -Yeah.
Yeah?
All right, then you're invited in.
Stare into my eyes, okay, stare deep into my eyes.
Not this one, this one's dead.
-Stare here. -All right.
Come on in.
Come in.
Deeper.
Come on, deeper.
Deeper, deeper.
Don't fear the sharks of my soul.
I only look scary.
I need you to think about dragons, okay?
Got 'em?
-Got it. -Good.
(exhales)
That's very, very, very good.
You're a sensitive man, aren't you, Sam?
I'm okay.
Yeah, I know you're okay.
Are you sensitive?
Yes, I am.
Yeah, I can tell.
I like it.
I like it a lot.
Do you feel weird about being rich?
All the time.
Why don't you give all your money away?
I'm scared I won't make any more.
Why'd you buy such a big old house?
I don't know, I thought it would impress the girls.
Did it?
-Yeah. -Yeah, bees like honey.
Big news.
All right.
I'm gonna forgive the wealth.
Can you forgive my being poor?
-Yes. -You know how poor I am?
-No. -I have $11.
That's it.
(exhales)
We're gonna go to the next level now,
'cause I'm seeing some good things in you.
Can you put the gun down?
(gun tapping)
We're going in deeper now.
We're gonna go somewhere not a lot of people have been.
-Are you ready for that? -Okay.
Move away from the live eye.
Go into the dead eye, okay?
Stare into the eye of old Dead-Eye Bill.
Pass through that darkness.
In there?
(deep exhale)
Oh yeah, you're in there.
We're gonna have to do this for a long, long time,
and you're gonna show me just who you are.
(train rumbling)
(clacking slows)
(eerie high-pitched sound)
(heart beating)
(train whistle blowing)
(gasps)
Whoa!
(exhales)
Okay, Sam.
Okay.
(door opens)
-Hey. -Yeah.
So?
So he's a living, breathing man, dude.
Living, breathing man?
Yeah, yeah, he's good, okay?
I took him into the house of my soul.
I spun him around, I looked at him from every fucking angle,
and he's good, and we should give him the kid.
No! Fuck this, fuck this plan. Give me the gun.
Put your money where your mouth is.
-What do you mean? -I mean we're always talking
love, right? Love, love, love?
-Try to love him. -Oh my God,
this is the guy who ruined my fucking life,
-who stole my fucking family. -Yeah, yeah, right?
Now he's inviting you back into his family, right?
He invited me back into his fucking family?
Give me the gun, give me the gun.
-Fine, you want the gun? -Yeah.
-Fine, here. -This is my fucking choice,
-this is my fucking choice. -Fine, here's the fucking gun,
but listen, you kill him, little George hears, right?
Right? And we can tell him it's big, big popcorn right now,
but when he turns 13, old man memory
is gonna start answering questions and he's gonna know.
He's gonna know Uncle Bill and Daddy Andy
are fucking murderers.
You think that's good for a kid?
You think that's good for sensitive guys like us?
It'll fucking make us cry, dude.
We'll be crying and having nightmares about him for years,
and so will little George, and then think about this, dude:
His ghost is gonna haunt us.
You want to spend the rest of your life haunted by a ghost?
Fucking floating over your bed?
Dripping fucking ectoplasm all over you,
you're all goopy and shit?
It's your choice, you do what you want.
You think about it though.
Hey.
What are you gonna do?
(train whistle blowing)
(door opens)
(door closes)
Treat Bonnie and George right.
(groaning)
You lucked out, bud.
You're in the family.
Kid's in the bathroom.
You made the right choice.
You just better be as cool as I think you are,
'cause I'm looking forward to hanging out with you.
(engine rumbling)
(brakes squealing)
(sighs)
Bill, I feel like I'm shattered apart.
It's 'cause you are, dude. You are.
If I was Bonnie, I would have left me too.
Dude, if you were Bonnie?
No, dude, you'd be stoked that you met
one of the coolest individuals of all time, all right?
Andy fucking Chen.
But Bonnie's Bonnie.
Bonnie's gone.
Yeah, well, who's here?
Your ultimate homie now and forevermore.
Beautiful Bill Andrews at your service.
Come on, let's get you a taco.
Come on.
Get you some food.
I'm talking tacos, burritos, tostadas.
What kinda drink you want?
What do you want, Coca-Cola?
Cocktail.
Whatever kind you want, bud. Manhattan?
♪ I could live my whole life ♪
♪ Without a phone call ♪
♪ The likes of which I got today ♪
♪
♪ It was only my wife said hello, then goodbye ♪
♪ And told me she's going away ♪
♪
♪ Well, I didn't cry ♪
♪ It was all cut and dry ♪
♪ I hung up before I realized ♪
♪
♪ Turned up my stereo ♪
♪ I walked to the window ♪
♪ And stared at the storm clouds outside ♪
♪
♪ And I play classical music when it rains ♪
♪ I play country when I am in pain ♪
♪ But I won't play Beethoven if the mood's just not right ♪
♪ I feel like Hank Williams tonight ♪
♪
♪ There's no explanation ♪
♪ Not even a reason ♪
♪ No talk of the good times we had ♪
♪
♪ Was it me? Was it her? ♪
♪ I don't know for sure ♪
♪ And that's why I'm feeling so bad ♪
♪
♪ I play jazz when I am confused ♪
♪ I play country whenever I lose ♪
♪ Bergh's saxophone, it just don't seem right ♪
♪ I feel like Hank Williams tonight ♪
♪
♪ Well, lately, I've been thinking ♪
♪ I just might quit drinking ♪
♪ Now I don't know all in all ♪
♪
♪ I just might stay home and get drunk all alone ♪
♪ And punch a few holes in the wall ♪
♪
♪ 'Cause when I'm real high I play rock 'n roll ♪
♪ I play country when I'm losing control ♪
♪ I don't play Chuck Berry but as much as I'd like ♪
♪ I feel like Hank Williams tonight ♪
♪
♪ I feel like Hank Williams tonight ♪
(applause, whistling)
Thank you, boys.
♪
♪ Open up the churches pass
to try to find a window ♪
♪
♪ Leaving all the ghosts in us
to stand in a holy river ♪
♪ As your shadow falls on me ♪
♪
♪ Cast through treasure of ivory ♪
♪
♪ Meet me at the snowy plain
where we want adventure ♪
♪ You will call me by my name ♪
♪ A voice made of winter ♪
♪ As your shadow falls on me ♪
♪
♪ Cast through treasure of ivory ♪
♪
♪ As your shadow falls on me ♪
♪
♪ Cast through haze of memory ♪
♪
♪ Some will live and some will die ♪
♪ And some will rise to glory ♪
♪
♪ I'm no longer asking why ♪
♪ I just tell the story ♪
♪
♪ Holy shadow ♪
♪
♪ Oh, holy shadow ♪
♪
♪ Oh, holy shadow ♪
♪