1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:27,627 --> 00:00:30,066 For a long time, I had no photos of my childhood. 4 00:00:33,505 --> 00:00:36,108 We were not allowed to take pictures in the community. 5 00:00:38,108 --> 00:00:41,085 Chris always said that we should remember things our own way, 6 00:00:41,109 --> 00:00:42,931 not necessarily the way they happened. 7 00:00:46,863 --> 00:00:48,083 Memory isn't the truth, 8 00:00:48,946 --> 00:00:50,740 especially when everybody lies to you. 9 00:00:56,042 --> 00:00:57,196 After my father died, 10 00:00:57,220 --> 00:00:58,947 I found a tape inside his camcorder. 11 00:01:01,564 --> 00:01:03,047 When I asked my mom about it, 12 00:01:03,071 --> 00:01:04,646 she said she never knew about it. 13 00:01:05,852 --> 00:01:07,537 I sensed she was hiding something. 14 00:01:19,731 --> 00:01:22,251 I spent a lot of time watching this empty footage. 15 00:01:23,471 --> 00:01:25,238 It seemed meaningless. 16 00:01:34,267 --> 00:01:37,295 I never imagined that it would be the key to my father's secret. 17 00:01:48,625 --> 00:01:52,174 I wanted to include these images at the start of a film telling our story. 18 00:01:53,804 --> 00:01:56,079 They were the only things that I knew were real. 19 00:01:56,407 --> 00:01:58,120 BETWEEN REALITY AND FICTION 20 00:01:59,092 --> 00:02:01,312 For years, I couldn't make that film. 21 00:02:01,901 --> 00:02:04,299 And then, one day, I received a package from Tokyo. 22 00:02:07,930 --> 00:02:08,930 My dear Jean, 23 00:02:11,108 --> 00:02:14,231 I regret to inform you that our Master Chris passed away. 24 00:02:16,232 --> 00:02:18,095 He left me some fragments of our story. 25 00:02:19,767 --> 00:02:21,164 I'm handing them over to you. 26 00:02:22,987 --> 00:02:24,305 Since you are a musician, 27 00:02:24,329 --> 00:02:26,398 I hope you will be able to find our melody. 28 00:02:28,508 --> 00:02:30,823 It’s time you learn the truth about Dad. 29 00:02:32,316 --> 00:02:33,316 Farewell. 30 00:02:34,810 --> 00:02:36,015 Your sister, Anne. 31 00:02:38,811 --> 00:02:40,197 When she sent me our archives, 32 00:02:40,221 --> 00:02:42,057 I hadn't any news from her in 15 years. 33 00:02:51,237 --> 00:02:53,059 They were all of our therapy sessions, 34 00:02:54,566 --> 00:02:56,690 We are all around you, François. 35 00:02:59,416 --> 00:03:00,718 Your children are here, 36 00:03:01,841 --> 00:03:02,841 they are listening. 37 00:03:04,321 --> 00:03:05,321 Take your time. 38 00:03:07,486 --> 00:03:08,486 Breath in. 39 00:03:11,226 --> 00:03:12,253 Breath out. 40 00:03:13,514 --> 00:03:14,679 Close your eyes 41 00:03:15,117 --> 00:03:16,350 and listen to the music. 42 00:03:17,501 --> 00:03:18,871 Look at the images. 43 00:03:20,323 --> 00:03:22,515 Visualize this path to the Light. 44 00:03:24,283 --> 00:03:26,310 I ask you to stay with us. 45 00:03:28,941 --> 00:03:29,941 Truthfully. 46 00:03:31,024 --> 00:03:33,134 Free yourself from fear. 47 00:03:35,435 --> 00:03:37,066 Tell us about this road, François. 48 00:03:38,490 --> 00:03:39,682 Where does it lead you? 49 00:04:31,485 --> 00:04:32,730 As far as I can remember, 50 00:04:33,142 --> 00:04:34,498 there was this road 51 00:04:35,060 --> 00:04:36,060 and this music. 52 00:04:41,252 --> 00:04:43,048 I had nightmares about it all my life. 53 00:04:52,981 --> 00:04:54,967 I think that's my first memory: 54 00:04:57,186 --> 00:04:59,588 my six brothers and sisters and me with my parents 55 00:04:59,612 --> 00:05:00,612 in the car 56 00:05:02,105 --> 00:05:03,530 on the way to the community. 57 00:05:52,989 --> 00:05:54,359 Chris had kept the photos, 58 00:05:55,290 --> 00:05:57,263 but most of his music was missing. 59 00:06:10,882 --> 00:06:12,773 There was only this tape. 60 00:06:15,567 --> 00:06:17,745 The first melody I ever heard in my life. 61 00:06:36,447 --> 00:06:38,996 In the pictures, I feel like I don't recognize anyone. 62 00:06:40,489 --> 00:06:41,489 Only the places, 63 00:06:41,749 --> 00:06:42,749 certain moments 64 00:06:46,846 --> 00:06:48,421 One could call it a summer camp. 65 00:06:50,298 --> 00:06:52,231 We were so many children; entire families 66 00:06:52,353 --> 00:06:53,916 living like a tribe up there. 67 00:07:06,917 --> 00:07:07,917 I know this is me. 68 00:07:11,521 --> 00:07:12,521 This is Anne. 69 00:07:14,343 --> 00:07:15,741 She was like a mother to me. 70 00:07:17,495 --> 00:07:19,840 One day, she took my other sister Charlotte and me 71 00:07:19,864 --> 00:07:21,111 and told us a secret: 72 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:23,591 "Dad is not what you think he is." 73 00:07:29,372 --> 00:07:31,126 She was hospitalized at a young age. 74 00:07:33,647 --> 00:07:35,469 I asked my parents if she was sick. 75 00:07:36,770 --> 00:07:40,251 They explained to me that she was having nightmares, but not in her sleep. 76 00:07:48,211 --> 00:07:49,828 My parents were looking for help. 77 00:07:50,157 --> 00:07:52,690 That's how they met Chris, at the church. 78 00:07:55,691 --> 00:07:58,089 He spent years in a seminary, so they trusted him. 79 00:07:59,404 --> 00:08:01,912 He said he also studied psychiatry in California. 80 00:08:04,090 --> 00:08:05,857 He had a theory based on a book. 81 00:08:06,707 --> 00:08:08,145 He said, Anne was not sick; 82 00:08:09,529 --> 00:08:12,200 she was just a symptom of something deeper in the family. 83 00:08:13,639 --> 00:08:16,201 And that there was a reality hidden behind delirium. 84 00:08:18,722 --> 00:08:20,572 Chris introduced himself as an artist. 85 00:08:21,503 --> 00:08:24,216 He experimented with video and dream imagery. 86 00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:31,124 His wife, Elina, was a singer. 87 00:08:31,148 --> 00:08:32,560 They met in Bulgaria. 88 00:08:35,121 --> 00:08:37,399 They had traveled around Asia together in the 70s 89 00:08:37,423 --> 00:08:39,355 to record their psychedelic music. 90 00:08:44,877 --> 00:08:48,219 Chris would always repeat "you're not sick. I'm not a doctor. 91 00:08:48,630 --> 00:08:50,261 We're just painting your psyche." 92 00:08:54,672 --> 00:08:56,673 He took this picture of us in 1983, 93 00:08:57,056 --> 00:08:58,892 in front of his house in the mountains. 94 00:09:02,509 --> 00:09:04,267 I'm the youngest, 95 00:09:04,291 --> 00:09:05,797 holding Anne's hand. 96 00:09:06,935 --> 00:09:09,606 We look like the perfect Catholic family, in this photo. 97 00:09:11,661 --> 00:09:13,675 But everything changed after that summer. 98 00:09:15,470 --> 00:09:17,802 We started going there for group sessions, 99 00:09:17,826 --> 00:09:19,210 each time for a few weeks. 100 00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:21,977 I'll never forget this place. 101 00:09:24,307 --> 00:09:26,584 We had to listen to these tapes almost all day 102 00:09:26,608 --> 00:09:28,115 with this repetitive music 103 00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:30,883 I remember every note. 104 00:09:33,884 --> 00:09:35,582 We were put into a succumbed state 105 00:09:35,843 --> 00:09:37,720 to be "freed", like Chris used to say. 106 00:09:38,844 --> 00:09:40,655 You were once Darkness. 107 00:09:40,679 --> 00:09:42,779 Within the Lord, you have now become Light. 108 00:09:42,803 --> 00:09:44,985 Let's live as the children of Light, 109 00:09:45,009 --> 00:09:49,132 as Light produces everything that is Goodness, Justice and Truth. 110 00:09:50,037 --> 00:09:52,777 Things started to go wrong right after the first session. 111 00:09:54,750 --> 00:09:57,284 We went on vacation to the beach, like every summer. 112 00:09:58,078 --> 00:09:59,109 And one day, 113 00:09:59,133 --> 00:10:01,559 Even though I was too young to know how to swim, 114 00:10:02,860 --> 00:10:04,422 I walked straight into the sea. 115 00:10:10,642 --> 00:10:12,382 Think of the sun, Jean. 116 00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:17,506 Imagine you are dazzled as if you were looking at the sun. 117 00:10:34,784 --> 00:10:35,785 Jean, 118 00:10:35,810 --> 00:10:39,358 I would like for us to talk about what happened during vacation. 119 00:10:41,482 --> 00:10:42,784 I almost drowned... 120 00:10:44,428 --> 00:10:45,866 Can you tell me why? 121 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:50,908 I wanted to go under the sea. 122 00:10:52,813 --> 00:10:54,991 What does it look like, under the sea, Jean? 123 00:10:56,279 --> 00:10:57,306 There are noises. 124 00:10:58,484 --> 00:10:59,635 What kind of noises? 125 00:11:00,704 --> 00:11:01,855 Like the music. 126 00:11:02,841 --> 00:11:04,075 Like my music? 127 00:11:04,773 --> 00:11:05,777 Yes. 128 00:11:05,801 --> 00:11:08,774 Is there something you can see under the water? 129 00:11:09,609 --> 00:11:10,609 It’s a secret. 130 00:11:11,870 --> 00:11:13,857 Does that secret scare you? 131 00:11:15,296 --> 00:11:16,296 No. 132 00:11:17,994 --> 00:11:20,802 Can you tell me what you see under the water? 133 00:11:22,570 --> 00:11:23,570 I don’t know. 134 00:11:25,434 --> 00:11:26,434 It's beautiful. 135 00:11:27,585 --> 00:11:30,558 Are your brothers and sisters with you under the water? 136 00:11:33,010 --> 00:11:34,010 No. 137 00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:35,846 There's just Dad. 138 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:37,855 For years, I traveled the world to play my own music. 139 00:12:40,759 --> 00:12:42,924 It was time for me to know where it came from. 140 00:12:45,773 --> 00:12:47,952 I decided to follow Chris and Elina's tracks. 141 00:13:55,031 --> 00:13:56,606 June 4, 1976. 142 00:13:57,113 --> 00:14:01,223 I took the last ferry from Niigata, just before the typhoon. 143 00:14:02,223 --> 00:14:04,894 In Japan, the time you spend dreaming is not lost time. 144 00:14:05,264 --> 00:14:08,594 The island workers sleep like children mastered in natural disasters. 145 00:14:09,499 --> 00:14:11,160 I would like to visit their dreams. 146 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:14,169 With their eyes shut, they sail away in their inner realities. 147 00:14:18,253 --> 00:14:21,390 SADO ISLAND 148 00:14:35,324 --> 00:14:37,968 Sado was Chris' first and last destination. 149 00:14:41,311 --> 00:14:44,064 I went to visit his grave in the heights of the island. 150 00:15:08,862 --> 00:15:10,891 There were two kanji carved into the stone: 151 00:15:11,233 --> 00:15:12,466 "Shin Sekai." 152 00:15:13,027 --> 00:15:14,027 New World. 153 00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:20,330 Brautigan told me a lot about Kodo. 154 00:15:22,275 --> 00:15:25,290 He thought their music was a bridge to the new world. 155 00:16:23,901 --> 00:16:24,901 When I met Kodo, 156 00:16:25,051 --> 00:16:26,805 I told them about the tape that I had 157 00:16:27,052 --> 00:16:29,751 and my idea to remake Chris and Elina's music entirely, 158 00:16:31,765 --> 00:16:33,546 Kodo has no true hierarchy. 159 00:16:33,902 --> 00:16:35,546 They make collegial decisions. 160 00:16:37,218 --> 00:16:40,263 So I had to explain not only to the ones who had known Chris, 161 00:16:40,287 --> 00:16:43,273 but also to the younger ones who probably thought I was insane. 162 00:16:44,904 --> 00:16:47,373 They ended up saying, "Well, if you're crazy enough 163 00:16:47,397 --> 00:16:50,442 to travel 10,000 miles just to meet us with nothing guaranteed, 164 00:16:50,466 --> 00:16:51,974 then of course we'll do it." 165 00:17:01,248 --> 00:17:05,061 We practice 166 00:17:05,085 --> 00:17:08,990 to try to get into a state of trance. 167 00:17:09,701 --> 00:17:13,716 Sometimes you get close to it, 168 00:17:13,990 --> 00:17:20,008 just by playing the Teiko drums for a long time. 169 00:17:20,032 --> 00:17:23,351 You begin to feel physically exhausted 170 00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:26,937 to the point of a whiteout. 171 00:17:28,267 --> 00:17:31,472 I recall the Memento Mori that Master Sawaki taught me, 172 00:17:32,088 --> 00:17:33,500 back at the Eihei-ji Temple. 173 00:17:34,788 --> 00:17:37,600 To practice Zen is like putting one foot in the grave, 174 00:17:37,624 --> 00:17:39,296 it’s practicing the awakening, 175 00:17:39,706 --> 00:17:40,926 the trance, the Satori. 176 00:17:42,035 --> 00:17:45,994 It’s exactly the discernment described by St. Ignatius. 177 00:17:47,173 --> 00:17:49,009 KODO 178 00:19:48,478 --> 00:19:49,903 And there it was, that sound, 179 00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:53,835 The sound of the world I was looking for under the water. 180 00:19:58,466 --> 00:20:00,576 Chris used to play it in between each session 181 00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:03,192 to open and close the inner doors 182 00:20:06,631 --> 00:20:09,166 The doors to other places in space and time. 183 00:20:22,085 --> 00:20:24,113 Back on that beach where I drowned 184 00:20:24,442 --> 00:20:25,442 30 years prior, 185 00:20:25,825 --> 00:20:28,717 I dared to ask my mom for the first time about what happened. 186 00:20:31,402 --> 00:20:33,142 I stayed in the community… 187 00:20:34,101 --> 00:20:36,704 And that’s when they separated us, Dad and I. 188 00:20:37,019 --> 00:20:39,458 And very soon I became crazy. 189 00:20:40,211 --> 00:20:43,240 And he made me talk, he made me tell him lots of things. 190 00:20:44,554 --> 00:20:46,636 It was like role play, 191 00:20:47,007 --> 00:20:51,185 but based on St. Ignatius' spiritual exercises. 192 00:20:51,501 --> 00:20:54,309 They would read them to us… I became that part 193 00:20:54,652 --> 00:20:57,090 as if I was Jesus Christ… 194 00:20:59,256 --> 00:21:00,396 The delirium, 195 00:21:00,420 --> 00:21:02,220 it’s hard to explain, 196 00:21:02,245 --> 00:21:03,259 that’s why… 197 00:21:03,284 --> 00:21:05,215 I didn’t really know what I was saying. 198 00:21:13,298 --> 00:21:14,616 My mother didn't remember, 199 00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:15,723 but I had her tapes. 200 00:21:18,450 --> 00:21:19,450 If the soul is weak, 201 00:21:20,231 --> 00:21:22,929 the Angle of Darkness will enter peacefully 202 00:21:23,204 --> 00:21:24,204 and silently 203 00:21:24,382 --> 00:21:26,560 like in his own home, 204 00:21:26,698 --> 00:21:28,123 where the door is open to him. 205 00:21:29,671 --> 00:21:30,671 Irène, 206 00:21:33,315 --> 00:21:34,342 how do you feel? 207 00:21:36,247 --> 00:21:37,247 Tired. 208 00:21:38,151 --> 00:21:39,741 Why aren't you sleeping? 209 00:21:40,959 --> 00:21:41,973 I'm looking for her. 210 00:21:43,837 --> 00:21:45,194 Who are you talking about? 211 00:21:45,755 --> 00:21:47,385 The neighbors called the police. 212 00:21:48,549 --> 00:21:50,526 They told them, she had entered our home. 213 00:21:50,550 --> 00:21:51,550 Who? 214 00:21:52,564 --> 00:21:54,277 And you saw this person? 215 00:21:55,770 --> 00:21:56,921 She doesn't have a face. 216 00:21:58,948 --> 00:21:59,948 She's here. 217 00:22:00,977 --> 00:22:01,977 She is ugly. 218 00:22:03,483 --> 00:22:04,483 And François? 219 00:22:05,497 --> 00:22:06,497 He is with you? 220 00:22:07,252 --> 00:22:08,826 Yes, he's with me, but... 221 00:22:09,142 --> 00:22:10,142 he's not here. 222 00:22:10,594 --> 00:22:11,608 She comes to see him. 223 00:22:12,854 --> 00:22:14,567 He says her name in his sleep. 224 00:22:15,595 --> 00:22:16,690 Tell me her name. 225 00:22:18,006 --> 00:22:19,006 I think he said... 226 00:22:19,828 --> 00:22:20,828 Melody. 227 00:23:08,466 --> 00:23:10,620 I asked my friends to help me play this score 228 00:23:10,644 --> 00:23:12,041 as I was remembering it. 229 00:23:43,100 --> 00:23:44,745 October 3, 1990. 230 00:23:45,992 --> 00:23:47,622 François keeps disappearing, 231 00:23:47,799 --> 00:23:49,238 sometimes for several days. 232 00:23:50,279 --> 00:23:52,609 He stays completely silent during the sessions 233 00:23:53,019 --> 00:23:54,458 I proposed something to him: 234 00:23:55,897 --> 00:23:57,284 if he cannot say it 235 00:23:57,308 --> 00:23:58,760 then maybe he can show me? 236 00:24:09,433 --> 00:24:11,447 My father always suffered from melancholia, 237 00:24:11,694 --> 00:24:13,968 but it got worse after we started the sessions. 238 00:24:15,859 --> 00:24:19,695 He would go through phases when he would stop talking and disappear for days. 239 00:24:20,613 --> 00:24:22,860 My mom was terrified that he would never return 240 00:24:23,462 --> 00:24:26,997 And a month later, I suddenly stopped sleeping all together. 241 00:24:27,257 --> 00:24:29,354 Dad was… was no longer well, either. 242 00:24:30,121 --> 00:24:32,518 While I was delirious, I was no longer with him. 243 00:24:32,834 --> 00:24:34,999 Well, maybe it was to protect him or... 244 00:24:35,121 --> 00:24:36,355 pfff. 245 00:24:36,601 --> 00:24:39,068 There was a side to Dad that was very bright... 246 00:24:40,766 --> 00:24:42,205 and then at the same time, 247 00:24:43,096 --> 00:24:44,575 a monstrous distress. 248 00:24:46,767 --> 00:24:49,562 In 1992, we moved there permanently. 249 00:24:51,795 --> 00:24:53,426 The community had expended a lot. 250 00:24:54,740 --> 00:24:56,987 We were all shocked when we saw the buildings. 251 00:24:57,741 --> 00:25:00,317 The beautiful nature of our childhood had disappeared. 252 00:25:03,071 --> 00:25:04,071 Everything was cold. 253 00:25:04,305 --> 00:25:05,306 Brutal. 254 00:25:05,331 --> 00:25:06,331 Organized. 255 00:25:12,648 --> 00:25:14,483 Chris became obsessed with us. 256 00:25:15,963 --> 00:25:17,748 He wanted to document every memory, 257 00:25:17,772 --> 00:25:20,388 every nightmare, every hallucination in the family. 258 00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:23,951 He thought it was a revelation of something to come. 259 00:25:50,365 --> 00:25:51,365 Architecture: 260 00:25:52,516 --> 00:25:57,435 it’s a necessary incarnation of thought. 261 00:25:59,037 --> 00:26:00,435 By inaugurating this place, 262 00:26:01,559 --> 00:26:05,559 we are laying the foundational stone of a new humanity. 263 00:26:06,820 --> 00:26:09,985 Our children will be the first generation. 264 00:26:17,849 --> 00:26:20,055 Chris and Elina had a son. 265 00:26:25,192 --> 00:26:26,727 Ivan used to be my best friend. 266 00:26:27,302 --> 00:26:29,796 In the 90s, we all lived together in the community. 267 00:26:34,193 --> 00:26:35,426 A bit after Chris died, 268 00:26:36,413 --> 00:26:38,938 he called me out of the blue and said he was in town 269 00:26:38,962 --> 00:26:40,291 and needed a place to crash. 270 00:26:47,168 --> 00:26:49,045 Paris was such a foreign place for him. 271 00:26:50,470 --> 00:26:52,717 He told me he could never adjust to city life. 272 00:27:15,871 --> 00:27:18,638 He asked me for a moment before we listened to the tapes. 273 00:27:21,707 --> 00:27:24,104 He hadn't heard his mother's voice in 20 years. 274 00:27:32,585 --> 00:27:33,585 Elina, 275 00:27:35,613 --> 00:27:36,613 listen to the music. 276 00:27:36,955 --> 00:27:37,969 Let it inspire you. 277 00:27:39,038 --> 00:27:40,700 It’s been a while since you spoke. 278 00:27:40,724 --> 00:27:42,971 I would like for you to tell us how you feel. 279 00:27:43,792 --> 00:27:45,944 I sense a lot of anger these last few days. 280 00:27:49,579 --> 00:27:51,603 It's always in me, the church. 281 00:27:54,705 --> 00:27:56,423 I miss the valley. 282 00:27:59,763 --> 00:28:02,428 Everything was so beautiful. 283 00:28:04,923 --> 00:28:07,048 We're all living together. 284 00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:10,823 Our children were playing in the snow with the dog 285 00:28:11,456 --> 00:28:13,690 and now even that fucking dog bites. 286 00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:15,710 I'm scared. 287 00:28:17,290 --> 00:28:18,290 What changed? 288 00:28:19,339 --> 00:28:21,152 They built the dam. 289 00:28:21,521 --> 00:28:23,279 And you've become like them. 290 00:28:24,342 --> 00:28:28,045 You and your ugly buildings. I hate them. 291 00:28:29,851 --> 00:28:31,851 Is this the future you want? 292 00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:35,456 For us? For our child? 293 00:28:37,544 --> 00:28:39,614 Everything is dying. 294 00:28:40,707 --> 00:28:42,426 I want to go back. 295 00:28:44,276 --> 00:28:46,753 It was so nice to walk there. 296 00:28:46,778 --> 00:28:51,828 I used to walk and sing and everything was perfect. 297 00:28:56,091 --> 00:28:59,162 That's where I wrote my song for Melody. 298 00:29:03,489 --> 00:29:04,489 Thank you, Elina. 299 00:29:05,050 --> 00:29:07,434 Thank you, my love for being exactly who you are. 300 00:29:08,284 --> 00:29:10,804 There can be no rebirth without destruction. 301 00:29:19,683 --> 00:29:20,985 We drank a lot that night. 302 00:29:21,354 --> 00:29:22,423 Ivan had way too many. 303 00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:25,478 I told him to stop, but he told me not to worry: 304 00:29:25,807 --> 00:29:26,807 "It's in my blood." 305 00:29:28,629 --> 00:29:30,331 His mother used to be a drug addict. 306 00:29:30,355 --> 00:29:32,441 Chris had gotten her clean in the early 80s, 307 00:29:32,465 --> 00:29:34,054 and she got better for some time. 308 00:29:34,233 --> 00:29:35,713 But then she lost faith. 309 00:29:41,754 --> 00:29:44,330 I tried to interrogate Ivan about this song for Melody. 310 00:29:45,385 --> 00:29:46,755 Could Melody be a person? 311 00:29:47,234 --> 00:29:48,646 He said he didn't remember. 312 00:29:51,044 --> 00:29:53,592 Everything died the day his mother jumped off the dam. 313 00:30:14,992 --> 00:30:16,650 NAGASAKI 314 00:30:33,460 --> 00:30:36,008 I remember hearing Elina's voice like in a dream, 315 00:30:36,283 --> 00:30:38,447 as I was walking the streets of Nagasaki. 316 00:30:39,598 --> 00:30:42,188 That's where Chris had his big revelation in 1975. 317 00:30:48,791 --> 00:30:51,658 In the direction of the Battleship Island: 318 00:30:51,682 --> 00:30:52,682 Gunkanjima. 319 00:30:53,436 --> 00:30:54,971 Here, I’m going to meditate 320 00:30:55,204 --> 00:30:59,615 exactly between the two poles of the cynicism of our civilization 321 00:31:00,012 --> 00:31:01,451 the ruins of our own time. 322 00:31:02,670 --> 00:31:05,319 Between the city of the bomb and the mines of Mistsubishi 323 00:31:05,343 --> 00:31:09,863 where more than 5000 people had to leave the place in disaster in '74. 324 00:32:13,625 --> 00:32:15,886 Here are the last images I took of my father. 325 00:32:17,681 --> 00:32:20,544 On that day, he took us to visit the ruins of the war again. 326 00:32:23,641 --> 00:32:25,298 He had known the horror. 327 00:32:25,723 --> 00:32:28,750 They hid in the basement during the bombings when he was a kid. 328 00:32:29,312 --> 00:32:30,683 His own father was a pilot, 329 00:32:31,189 --> 00:32:33,107 was killed in the first days of the war. 330 00:32:34,888 --> 00:32:35,888 Later in Algeria, 331 00:32:36,094 --> 00:32:37,591 my dad got caught in an attack, 332 00:32:37,615 --> 00:32:39,232 and all of his company was killed. 333 00:32:40,095 --> 00:32:42,743 He had to finish one of his best friends with a shotgun, 334 00:32:42,767 --> 00:32:44,082 to spare him the suffering. 335 00:32:51,590 --> 00:32:53,892 He told me this story as we walked on the shore. 336 00:33:12,127 --> 00:33:14,154 We all knew that he had a few weeks to live 337 00:33:15,662 --> 00:33:18,073 and that it could be the last time he saw the sea. 338 00:33:57,243 --> 00:34:00,463 My brother took my dad's camera and turned it on him for once. 339 00:34:12,779 --> 00:34:14,492 My father died three weeks later. 340 00:34:18,492 --> 00:34:20,822 On the evening of his passing, I filmed the moon. 341 00:34:21,958 --> 00:34:23,972 I wanted a trace to remember that moment, 342 00:34:25,138 --> 00:34:28,316 I thought that maybe a part of me would also appear in this image, 343 00:34:29,727 --> 00:34:32,645 just like my father revealed a part of himself in his. 344 00:34:38,563 --> 00:34:40,156 So I filmed the next day 345 00:34:40,180 --> 00:34:41,180 and the next day 346 00:34:41,333 --> 00:34:42,334 and so on, 347 00:34:42,359 --> 00:34:43,359 just like him. 348 00:35:07,075 --> 00:35:08,733 I kept staring at this footage 349 00:35:09,651 --> 00:35:11,541 to try understand what he was doing. 350 00:35:12,116 --> 00:35:13,267 He just seemed lost. 351 00:35:18,940 --> 00:35:20,364 But then I heard something. 352 00:35:43,189 --> 00:35:44,189 It was him. 353 00:35:44,409 --> 00:35:45,409 Whistling. 354 00:35:57,561 --> 00:35:59,493 I didn't have recordings of his voice, 355 00:36:00,151 --> 00:36:01,657 but then I had this melody. 356 00:36:02,727 --> 00:36:04,261 It reminded me of something. 357 00:36:39,609 --> 00:36:41,568 All of our childhood was there, drowned. 358 00:36:48,131 --> 00:36:50,487 Ivan told me there was no life under the surface. 359 00:36:51,405 --> 00:36:52,994 This water was unbreathable. 360 00:37:04,064 --> 00:37:08,188 Ivan liked that these mountains were like a lock, keeping him from the outside world. 361 00:37:09,202 --> 00:37:11,521 He was 17 when the community was dismantled, 362 00:37:11,545 --> 00:37:12,874 and he decided to stay. 363 00:37:17,107 --> 00:37:18,194 While walking with him, 364 00:37:18,218 --> 00:37:20,998 I couldn't help but to envy his relationship with nature. 365 00:37:21,916 --> 00:37:24,889 I said I should take shelter here when everything collapses. 366 00:37:25,711 --> 00:37:27,232 He laughed at me and said, 367 00:37:27,903 --> 00:37:29,136 "There's no future here." 368 00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:33,082 Just the same old world, dying. 369 00:37:44,207 --> 00:37:45,782 He let me stay for the night. 370 00:37:46,632 --> 00:37:49,222 He lived among what was left of the old community. 371 00:37:53,345 --> 00:37:55,496 He told me to stay away from the others. 372 00:37:57,469 --> 00:37:59,867 These last remaining members were reclusive 373 00:38:11,951 --> 00:38:14,020 The last morning, I took the gondola lift. 374 00:38:20,199 --> 00:38:22,843 I had to go higher to find the flowers of him childhood. 375 00:38:24,500 --> 00:38:27,322 Ivan had warned me that this wilderness was an illusion, 376 00:38:27,898 --> 00:38:31,008 that there were of Wi-Fi signals even at this altitude. 377 00:38:36,844 --> 00:38:38,149 I thought of Chris's utopia, 378 00:38:38,173 --> 00:38:41,314 his love for the poetry of his friend Richard Brautigan, 379 00:38:41,338 --> 00:38:45,147 who predicted the coming of a world where man and machine would be reconciled. 380 00:39:35,620 --> 00:39:37,058 Brautigan was a schizophrenic. 381 00:39:37,470 --> 00:39:39,579 He ended up taking his own life in 1984. 382 00:39:41,881 --> 00:39:44,539 But Chris always considered his writings as visionary. 383 00:39:45,580 --> 00:39:47,868 When Richard died, Chris simply wrote, 384 00:39:48,197 --> 00:39:50,814 "Behind every madman may lie a prophet." 385 00:39:59,747 --> 00:40:02,528 Chris was trying to build a vision for a post-human planet. 386 00:40:03,980 --> 00:40:07,200 He kept saying, "The apocalypse is not what people think it is. 387 00:40:07,392 --> 00:40:09,310 It's not only a question of destruction. 388 00:40:09,693 --> 00:40:11,406 Apocalypse means revelation." 389 00:40:23,127 --> 00:40:25,002 April 1st, '71. 390 00:40:25,586 --> 00:40:26,819 INDONESIA 391 00:40:26,844 --> 00:40:29,320 All the sound of nature give us language. 392 00:40:29,789 --> 00:40:33,859 All things in nature give us form as a human being. 393 00:40:34,314 --> 00:40:36,939 What better sound is there? 394 00:40:37,900 --> 00:40:39,876 Every bird knows a song. 395 00:40:40,314 --> 00:40:44,087 Every monkey knows a song. Every snake knows a song. 396 00:40:44,603 --> 00:40:50,353 And you and I, we have a song right here. On this planet. 397 00:41:05,537 --> 00:41:06,952 March 14, 1971. 398 00:41:06,976 --> 00:41:09,812 We became friends with a young man named Suwentra. 399 00:41:21,210 --> 00:41:24,128 We started by imitating the sounds of nature. 400 00:41:24,854 --> 00:41:28,211 The sounds of water drops, 401 00:41:29,746 --> 00:41:36,696 sometimes the rubbing of objects together. 402 00:41:36,720 --> 00:41:44,515 Sometimes the water flowing through the bamboo tubes. 403 00:41:55,242 --> 00:41:57,256 Everybody in the village plays the Jegog. 404 00:41:57,845 --> 00:41:59,723 Concerts happen during harvest season. 405 00:42:01,162 --> 00:42:03,302 It's like a competition between the villagers 406 00:42:03,326 --> 00:42:06,563 and the goal is to shatter the ground, to help the rice grow again, 407 00:42:06,587 --> 00:42:08,244 to make the loudest noise possible. 408 00:42:19,988 --> 00:42:23,464 The power of the Jegog is very healing for people. 409 00:42:23,952 --> 00:42:26,937 The vibration of the Jegog is strongly felt in the body. 410 00:42:27,355 --> 00:42:29,839 People can bathe in these vibrations. 411 00:42:30,228 --> 00:42:32,392 We are all vibrational beings. 412 00:42:32,554 --> 00:42:37,008 Energy shifts. but lives on forever in various forms. 413 00:43:56,178 --> 00:43:58,808 That night, the sound reminded me of a specific image: 414 00:44:03,316 --> 00:44:04,538 a creature under the sea 415 00:44:04,562 --> 00:44:06,549 who visited me in my childhood nightmares. 416 00:44:07,316 --> 00:44:08,618 She was looking for my dad. 417 00:44:20,537 --> 00:44:21,537 Far from home, 418 00:44:21,989 --> 00:44:24,853 the line between dreams and reality was starting to blur. 419 00:44:49,925 --> 00:44:52,446 Bali must have been completely different in the '70s, 420 00:44:52,665 --> 00:44:54,925 when Chris and Elina came for the first time. 421 00:44:55,515 --> 00:44:59,420 I had to go further and further into the jungle to escape the big city's noise. 422 00:45:05,462 --> 00:45:07,681 I was searching for the sounds of the Kecack. 423 00:45:07,804 --> 00:45:10,572 I knew it had been a turning point in Chris' life. 424 00:47:09,699 --> 00:47:12,648 The suffering was there, in me as well as in them, 425 00:47:12,672 --> 00:47:14,973 I could no longer refuse it or run away from it. 426 00:47:15,316 --> 00:47:17,567 I don't know if it was the palm wine 427 00:47:17,591 --> 00:47:20,348 or the exhausting trance that took hold of me for hours, 428 00:47:20,372 --> 00:47:23,934 but that night I had a clear vision of my inner demon. 429 00:47:32,784 --> 00:47:34,305 Every man has a demon, 430 00:47:34,620 --> 00:47:36,018 every demon has a song. 431 00:48:38,820 --> 00:48:41,290 As I spent my last days living among these families, 432 00:48:41,314 --> 00:48:42,602 it made me reflect on mine. 433 00:48:45,123 --> 00:48:47,274 Like them, we lived as a community for years, 434 00:48:48,055 --> 00:48:49,631 but our relationships were toxic. 435 00:48:50,919 --> 00:48:53,549 Each one of us was trapped in his or her own darkness. 436 00:48:54,453 --> 00:48:56,868 When I filmed these beautiful smiles and this joy, 437 00:48:56,892 --> 00:48:59,481 I began to understand that this was Chris' dream. 438 00:49:01,317 --> 00:49:02,865 He wanted us to be like that. 439 00:49:32,007 --> 00:49:33,390 Everyone needs a utopia. 440 00:49:35,760 --> 00:49:36,760 Here is mine. 441 00:49:39,555 --> 00:49:41,628 The beautiful, young girl with a straw hat 442 00:49:41,652 --> 00:49:44,693 is Laurène, the daughter of my sister, Charlotte. 443 00:49:47,611 --> 00:49:48,807 On the day she was born, 444 00:49:48,831 --> 00:49:51,831 I felt the closest thing I can imagine to having a child. 445 00:49:56,380 --> 00:49:57,503 This is a happy moment. 446 00:49:58,325 --> 00:50:00,312 Laurène is going to have a younger sister. 447 00:50:01,463 --> 00:50:03,463 They're my chosen family today. 448 00:51:01,142 --> 00:51:04,019 Charlotte always had the courage to stand up against Chris. 449 00:51:04,978 --> 00:51:06,211 She never believed in him. 450 00:51:07,116 --> 00:51:10,171 She said she would create her own new world far away from him. 451 00:51:11,760 --> 00:51:15,076 One day, she did something that made us break ties with the community. 452 00:51:15,268 --> 00:51:17,733 That's when all of us left, except for Anne. 453 00:51:21,817 --> 00:51:25,817 I arrived here Monday night, November 30, 1998, at about 9:00 PM. 454 00:51:31,681 --> 00:51:33,370 I’m writing in front of the window. 455 00:51:33,394 --> 00:51:36,079 I can see and hear the sights I’ve always been afraid of. 456 00:51:38,463 --> 00:51:41,741 I was afraid of the big buildings, the park where the patients walk, 457 00:51:41,765 --> 00:51:43,971 and the birds that sing even when it is grey. 458 00:51:48,176 --> 00:51:49,865 Chris tells me that I am normal. 459 00:51:49,889 --> 00:51:51,851 I tell him that, of course, I'm normal, 460 00:51:51,875 --> 00:51:53,715 except that I wanted to open the window 461 00:51:53,739 --> 00:51:55,356 and throw myself out, last Monday. 462 00:52:01,480 --> 00:52:04,700 I had filmed Charlotte in Paris when she was pregnant with Laurène. 463 00:52:05,398 --> 00:52:07,563 That day, she asked me to be her godfather. 464 00:52:08,508 --> 00:52:10,714 She said, "Let's put all this darkness behind." 465 00:52:23,140 --> 00:52:25,346 We started a new life outside of the community 466 00:52:27,168 --> 00:52:29,142 Laurène grew up just like a regular child. 467 00:52:53,953 --> 00:52:55,830 But she couldn't escape that easily. 468 00:52:59,393 --> 00:53:01,451 Around the time when I shot these pictures, 469 00:53:01,475 --> 00:53:04,147 Laurène, had a toy that got infiltrated with water. 470 00:53:05,817 --> 00:53:07,750 She started seeing things in the stain. 471 00:53:09,366 --> 00:53:10,928 First bacteria, then worms. 472 00:53:11,188 --> 00:53:13,984 Then she didn't want to sleep in the same room as the toy. 473 00:53:16,175 --> 00:53:18,833 She said these were creatures from another world. 474 00:53:21,628 --> 00:53:24,738 She started going in and out of the hospital from the age of 12. 475 00:53:32,178 --> 00:53:34,370 We, the elders, are immature. 476 00:53:34,945 --> 00:53:37,001 Our children will invent their own wisdom. 477 00:53:37,315 --> 00:53:39,631 They will be the life, the creators of worlds. 478 00:53:40,617 --> 00:53:43,111 Let us remember Oppenheimer's thoughts 479 00:53:43,631 --> 00:53:47,372 moments after the first bomb in Hiroshima. 480 00:53:48,364 --> 00:53:50,833 You know the world would not be the same. 481 00:53:53,751 --> 00:53:56,251 Few people... laughed. 482 00:53:57,990 --> 00:53:59,802 Few people cried. 483 00:54:00,060 --> 00:54:02,200 Most people were silent. 484 00:54:04,973 --> 00:54:10,324 Every member and line from the Hindy scripture, the Bhagavad Gita. 485 00:54:13,615 --> 00:54:14,716 Vishnu. 486 00:54:16,999 --> 00:54:20,062 Is trying to persuade the prince that 487 00:54:21,349 --> 00:54:22,927 He should do his duty. 488 00:54:23,490 --> 00:54:25,888 And, to impress him... 489 00:54:26,297 --> 00:54:29,078 takes on his multi-armed form... 490 00:54:29,890 --> 00:54:36,263 and says "Now I am become death, the destroyer of worlds." 491 00:54:38,353 --> 00:54:41,673 I suppose we all thought that, one way or another. 492 00:54:46,024 --> 00:54:47,545 I had a nightmare on the plane 493 00:54:47,970 --> 00:54:49,737 where I was stuck in the old world. 494 00:55:26,468 --> 00:55:29,071 In the dream, I could still hear Elina's melody. 495 00:55:30,235 --> 00:55:33,633 For Chris, this music could summon destruction and rebirth. 496 00:55:34,579 --> 00:55:36,332 For me, it was something else. 497 00:55:38,607 --> 00:55:40,935 SOFIA 498 00:57:11,784 --> 00:57:13,428 These women live up to their name, 499 00:57:13,607 --> 00:57:15,333 the mystery of the Bulgarian voices. 500 00:57:16,745 --> 00:57:18,995 Their vocal harmonies are like Bulgaria: 501 00:57:19,019 --> 00:57:22,142 exactly in between Oriental and Occidental traditions. 502 00:57:23,978 --> 00:57:27,156 That's why it sounds like music from another world to a Westerner. 503 00:57:29,061 --> 00:57:31,294 We worked for months with Professor Dora, 504 00:57:31,842 --> 00:57:33,801 the tough but charismatic choir director. 505 00:57:35,268 --> 00:57:36,956 After days discussing every detail 506 00:57:36,980 --> 00:57:39,062 to get closer to Elina's "Song for Melody," 507 00:57:39,665 --> 00:57:40,789 it all came together. 508 00:59:16,569 --> 00:59:19,117 Ivan didn't understand my obsession with the past. 509 00:59:25,324 --> 00:59:27,077 We had two days of walk ahead of us. 510 00:59:27,940 --> 00:59:29,982 He had not returned since Elina's death. 511 00:59:43,710 --> 00:59:45,711 The campfire reminded me of our childhood. 512 00:59:51,012 --> 00:59:53,561 I tried to bring back memories, but Ivan stopped me: 513 00:59:55,726 --> 00:59:57,424 "it's your pilgrimage, not mine." 514 01:00:22,277 --> 01:00:25,168 The whole community fell apart when Elina killed herself. 515 01:00:26,771 --> 01:00:29,018 Nobody but Anne trusted Chris anymore. 516 01:00:49,993 --> 01:00:51,734 It was surreal to be there. 517 01:00:52,816 --> 01:00:55,228 I played with my brothers and sisters in this yard. 518 01:00:56,392 --> 01:00:57,830 I didn't remember the details. 519 01:00:58,570 --> 01:01:00,159 All that was left was the fear. 520 01:01:09,489 --> 01:01:11,408 I came back to Paris with a treasure. 521 01:01:17,765 --> 01:01:19,723 I felt like a digital archaeologist 522 01:01:20,820 --> 01:01:22,861 trying to unveil an old virtual ghost. 523 01:01:27,670 --> 01:01:29,561 We need images without lies. 524 01:01:30,684 --> 01:01:32,740 With these new electronic tools, 525 01:01:33,054 --> 01:01:35,411 I am only returning them to their true nature. 526 01:01:36,179 --> 01:01:38,576 Here is the aura of another reality 527 01:01:39,248 --> 01:01:42,001 in which only madmen can find their way. 528 01:01:42,275 --> 01:01:44,453 They inform us about our dark side. 529 01:01:47,919 --> 01:01:49,879 So, I fed my own images through the patch 530 01:01:50,988 --> 01:01:53,459 searching for secrets in this electronic mausoleum 531 01:01:53,483 --> 01:01:55,729 where Chris used to spend most of his time. 532 01:02:00,702 --> 01:02:01,761 It is here 533 01:02:01,785 --> 01:02:05,210 that the meaning of this sentence of Rilke appeared to me fully. 534 01:02:06,539 --> 01:02:10,023 Perhaps all the dragons of our life are princesses 535 01:02:10,047 --> 01:02:13,485 who wait only for the moment to see us one day beautiful and courageous. 536 01:02:14,321 --> 01:02:17,719 Perhaps all the things that frighten us are, deep down, 537 01:02:17,952 --> 01:02:21,075 things left without help that are waiting for us to rescue them. 538 01:02:26,418 --> 01:02:27,531 With his material, 539 01:02:27,555 --> 01:02:29,953 there was one tape labeled "Song for the Dragon." 540 01:02:32,351 --> 01:02:34,738 I remember Suwentra telling me about these faces 541 01:02:34,762 --> 01:02:37,174 resembling dragons, carved in their instruments. 542 01:02:38,735 --> 01:02:40,012 He wanted to compose music, 543 01:02:40,036 --> 01:02:41,036 to make them dance, 544 01:02:41,420 --> 01:02:43,585 to help people harmonize with their demons. 545 01:02:53,683 --> 01:02:55,806 I had heard this exact same song before, 546 01:02:56,765 --> 01:02:58,752 with my dad, 30 years ago. 547 01:05:27,252 --> 01:05:30,307 It started raining right when we were done with the recordings. 548 01:05:31,870 --> 01:05:34,309 I finally asked Kodo if the legend was true, 549 01:05:34,719 --> 01:05:37,048 if they had brought the storm with their drums. 550 01:05:37,254 --> 01:05:41,857 It's probably pure chance. 551 01:05:41,966 --> 01:05:46,639 But sometimes we wonder, when we play the drums outside 552 01:05:46,762 --> 01:05:51,533 and it suddenly starts to rain: 553 01:05:51,557 --> 01:05:55,535 has the weather changed 554 01:05:55,559 --> 01:05:58,891 because our drums have created fluctuations in the atmosphere? 555 01:05:58,915 --> 01:06:01,178 Or is it proof of the powers of God or nature? 556 01:06:01,202 --> 01:06:05,655 I feel an immense power in these moments, 557 01:06:05,765 --> 01:06:09,998 it is so natural and extraordinary at the same time. 558 01:06:10,258 --> 01:06:11,464 In the past, 559 01:06:11,807 --> 01:06:16,369 drums were traditionally used to thank God 560 01:06:16,588 --> 01:06:22,397 or ask him for rain or a bountiful harvest. 561 01:07:16,063 --> 01:07:18,282 A sound that can rip up the sky, 562 01:07:19,145 --> 01:07:20,981 like lightning in clear blue skies. 563 01:07:21,529 --> 01:07:22,816 Like Anne always said. 564 01:07:24,159 --> 01:07:27,036 Her visions were like a lightning strike in clear blue skies. 565 01:07:36,271 --> 01:07:38,888 On this day, Chris was waiting for Anne at the airport. 566 01:07:39,600 --> 01:07:41,888 Their flight to Tokyo was leaving at 5:00 pm, 567 01:07:42,587 --> 01:07:43,819 She wanted to say goodbye. 568 01:07:44,231 --> 01:07:45,957 I knew I would never see her again, 569 01:07:46,108 --> 01:07:48,272 so I rushed to capture those images of her. 570 01:07:50,534 --> 01:07:51,633 As I watch them today, 571 01:07:51,657 --> 01:07:53,948 I wish I could have told her how much I love her 572 01:07:53,972 --> 01:07:55,767 and that I always believed in her. 573 01:07:56,973 --> 01:07:58,205 To me, she was not crazy, 574 01:07:58,684 --> 01:07:59,972 but she never made sense. 575 01:08:00,219 --> 01:08:03,083 I was just a kid, afraid of the things she said. 576 01:08:07,768 --> 01:08:11,687 This different state of consciousness, could you try to describe it to me? 577 01:08:13,002 --> 01:08:14,290 You can never predict. 578 01:08:14,961 --> 01:08:16,263 It's like lightning 579 01:08:17,414 --> 01:08:18,935 in a cloudless sky. 580 01:08:19,290 --> 01:08:21,387 But right now, how do you feel? 581 01:08:22,551 --> 01:08:24,251 It's weird to hear music. 582 01:08:25,278 --> 01:08:27,209 Why don't you listen to music in Paris? 583 01:08:27,730 --> 01:08:30,433 No, I'm not allowed to. The parents don't want it anymore. 584 01:08:30,457 --> 01:08:32,570 They say it could trigger my attacks. 585 01:08:32,594 --> 01:08:34,831 No, but I don't want you to call them attacks. 586 01:08:34,855 --> 01:08:37,416 Explain to me what happened, simply, without judgment. 587 01:08:41,376 --> 01:08:43,088 It's like he's watching me. 588 01:08:45,116 --> 01:08:46,969 I called it the eye of the apocalypse. 589 01:08:46,993 --> 01:08:49,202 The eye of the apocalypse. An eye in the sky? 590 01:08:49,226 --> 01:08:50,226 But it's not music, 591 01:08:50,336 --> 01:08:51,487 that was what it meant. 592 01:08:51,952 --> 01:08:53,378 Only I know what it means. 593 01:08:53,885 --> 01:08:54,885 Only me. 594 01:08:55,268 --> 01:08:58,227 I tried to explain to Jean, but he is too young to understand. 595 01:08:59,104 --> 01:09:00,913 I don't want to talk to him about it. 596 01:09:01,447 --> 01:09:04,228 And what do you think this look is? 597 01:09:05,270 --> 01:09:06,763 It’s a character in my head. 598 01:09:07,585 --> 01:09:10,257 But it does mean something. It's not nothing. 599 01:09:11,325 --> 01:09:12,914 There isn't only one reality. 600 01:09:14,189 --> 01:09:15,518 The eye sees that. 601 01:09:16,532 --> 01:09:18,066 Music is a door. 602 01:09:20,752 --> 01:09:22,738 The music seemed to be the key. 603 01:09:24,108 --> 01:09:26,903 I could hear it playing in the background of her session. 604 01:09:33,520 --> 01:09:34,904 I had to remake it. 605 01:11:31,743 --> 01:11:33,801 I spent days and nights on my machines 606 01:11:33,825 --> 01:11:37,675 like it was an interface that would help me reach Anne in the other world 607 01:11:38,305 --> 01:11:40,251 Somehow, I was hoping for her to answer. 608 01:11:45,279 --> 01:11:46,676 But I only had her sessions. 609 01:11:46,840 --> 01:11:49,540 They were like a puzzle that I had to put back together. 610 01:11:50,485 --> 01:11:53,649 We had a record at home that Dad used to listen to all the time. 611 01:11:56,143 --> 01:11:59,541 There's an eye on it, and I couldn't get it out of my head afterwards. 612 01:12:01,610 --> 01:12:03,490 I called it the eye of the apocalypse. 613 01:12:03,514 --> 01:12:05,816 The eye of the apocalypse. An eye in the sky? 614 01:12:06,433 --> 01:12:08,460 I still have my dad's collection. 615 01:12:15,188 --> 01:12:16,694 It had to be this one. 616 01:12:16,954 --> 01:12:18,667 He wouldn't stop listening to it. 617 01:12:22,174 --> 01:12:24,452 I would reread the lyrics like they were a code 618 01:12:24,476 --> 01:12:26,422 that he left us to understand him. 619 01:12:27,381 --> 01:12:30,093 Until I realized what Anne really meant, 620 01:12:31,093 --> 01:12:33,985 That was what it meant. Only me. 621 01:12:36,451 --> 01:12:38,807 It's not the music. That's what it means. 622 01:12:40,123 --> 01:12:41,876 I had been wrong all along. 623 01:12:42,177 --> 01:12:45,041 It was not in the music. It was everything but the music. 624 01:12:48,275 --> 01:12:49,548 I didn't sleep that night. 625 01:12:56,043 --> 01:12:58,824 I wrote to the address on the package that she had sent me. 626 01:13:00,263 --> 01:13:02,249 I knew she didn't want me to contact her, 627 01:13:02,892 --> 01:13:04,838 but I told her I was coming to Tokyo. 628 01:13:27,116 --> 01:13:29,869 There was a young woman waiting for me at Haneda Airport. 629 01:13:30,458 --> 01:13:32,541 She introduced herself as Miho. 630 01:13:43,980 --> 01:13:51,228 Your sister no longer wishes to see you. 631 01:13:52,064 --> 01:13:56,476 She sends her apologies. 632 01:13:56,955 --> 01:14:04,233 She has been very busy since Master Chris' death. 633 01:14:04,257 --> 01:14:10,905 I asked her to have the privilege of meeting you. 634 01:14:10,929 --> 01:14:17,383 They have told us about you and your family for so many years. 635 01:14:18,164 --> 01:14:25,727 I have been thinking a lot about your father, about his mystery. 636 01:14:29,576 --> 01:14:31,206 May 1, 2014. 637 01:14:31,755 --> 01:14:35,344 Anne has reached the Satori. 638 01:14:36,098 --> 01:14:37,454 TOKYO 639 01:14:38,221 --> 01:14:40,167 She will now be the Awakened One. 640 01:14:42,126 --> 01:14:43,441 At the dawn of my death, 641 01:14:44,578 --> 01:14:47,757 I trust this legacy, and that of her generation. 642 01:14:49,374 --> 01:14:50,921 She will live in the new world. 643 01:14:56,100 --> 01:14:59,539 I had nothing better to do than to follow her in the streets of Tokyo. 644 01:15:01,156 --> 01:15:02,910 She took me to her favorite place. 645 01:15:03,650 --> 01:15:05,088 It was called Shinsuke. 646 01:15:19,789 --> 01:15:21,885 Miho is at home in this world of screens, 647 01:15:22,310 --> 01:15:24,638 a world of multiple identities and realities. 648 01:15:25,996 --> 01:15:28,383 I spent time observing her in these noisy arcades 649 01:15:28,407 --> 01:15:31,325 where she seems completely absorbed out of our world, 650 01:15:31,557 --> 01:15:35,052 navigating freely from one avatar to the other, one dream to the other. 651 01:15:35,667 --> 01:15:39,436 Is it the Satori, the mental state that Chris mentioned all the time? 652 01:15:40,504 --> 01:15:43,272 Could there be a virtual Satori that would look like this? 653 01:15:45,272 --> 01:15:48,231 I asked her what she had seen or heard in these tapes. 654 01:15:51,410 --> 01:15:56,548 I don't understand French or English. 655 01:15:57,794 --> 01:16:03,823 For me, these voices are music. 656 01:16:10,234 --> 01:16:13,481 Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses 657 01:16:14,427 --> 01:16:18,920 just waiting to see us beautiful and brave one day. 658 01:16:20,989 --> 01:16:23,349 I used to dread the big buildings, the park where 659 01:16:23,373 --> 01:16:26,470 the patients walk and the birds that sing even when it is grey. 660 01:16:40,485 --> 01:16:45,980 Those on whom another sun rises will be the awakened ones. 661 01:16:47,308 --> 01:16:54,158 In your father's story, I saw war, I saw sadness, 662 01:16:54,583 --> 01:17:00,516 but I also saw something else, something very beautiful. 663 01:17:01,693 --> 01:17:06,393 He hid it from you because he was afraid. 664 01:17:17,271 --> 01:17:21,697 Do you understand? I will show you. 665 01:17:38,384 --> 01:17:46,384 Your father was much more than you think. 666 01:17:48,577 --> 01:17:56,577 Your sister Anne was the first to understand. 667 01:17:59,044 --> 01:18:06,347 I think you all understood it and it scared you. 668 01:18:13,087 --> 01:18:16,348 I hear him in the other world, in his other identity. 669 01:18:16,938 --> 01:18:19,759 I hear her singing. 670 01:18:21,185 --> 01:18:24,445 I hear Melody. 671 01:18:33,200 --> 01:18:36,269 Since the beginning, I had been wondering about my dad's secret. 672 01:18:37,132 --> 01:18:39,448 He seemed to be haunted by a woman named Melody. 673 01:18:47,244 --> 01:18:50,969 It had never occurred to me before that they could have been the same person. 674 01:18:51,559 --> 01:18:53,162 Melody was my dad. 675 01:19:04,971 --> 01:19:06,137 Then it came back to me, 676 01:19:06,369 --> 01:19:08,219 I had images of him singing, 677 01:19:09,274 --> 01:19:10,511 already eaten by cancer, 678 01:19:10,535 --> 01:19:11,535 beat down, 679 01:19:12,576 --> 01:19:14,712 but he was smiling like he never had before. 680 01:19:25,440 --> 01:19:26,742 Anne was not crazy. 681 01:19:27,016 --> 01:19:28,729 She had access to my dad's secret. 682 01:19:30,249 --> 01:19:32,236 She knew where he was going on this road. 683 01:19:35,209 --> 01:19:39,401 Your father would take the car, 684 01:19:40,347 --> 01:19:41,840 drive as far as he could, 685 01:19:43,758 --> 01:19:46,046 become Melody, 686 01:19:47,252 --> 01:19:49,294 and then throw away the keys. 687 01:19:50,526 --> 01:19:54,335 It was a challenge to himself. 688 01:19:55,733 --> 01:20:02,130 If one day he didn't find them, he would have to stay in the other world. 689 01:20:04,885 --> 01:20:06,611 I cried when I heard this story. 690 01:20:07,323 --> 01:20:09,272 I guess the little boy in me was scared. 691 01:20:09,296 --> 01:20:11,296 In retrospect that he could have left us. 692 01:20:12,337 --> 01:20:15,667 But he always found the key and the way back. 693 01:20:26,490 --> 01:20:29,326 Today is the day that everything will change. 694 01:20:30,683 --> 01:20:33,313 All these people have come to attend. 695 01:20:35,793 --> 01:20:37,889 Miho told me to meet her at the Mori Tower. 696 01:20:38,665 --> 01:20:39,666 I tried to say no. 697 01:20:39,691 --> 01:20:41,389 I told her I was afraid of heights. 698 01:20:42,122 --> 01:20:44,109 She said today's not a day to be afraid. 699 01:20:48,493 --> 01:20:51,905 There are few times in life when you meet a true philosophical question. 700 01:20:52,398 --> 01:20:55,206 Am I betraying my dad by telling his secrets in my film? 701 01:20:56,015 --> 01:20:58,796 It took me years to gather the courage to answer no. 702 01:20:59,590 --> 01:21:01,279 The world where he was ashamed, 703 01:21:01,303 --> 01:21:03,964 where people were stuck in their old fears and bigotries, 704 01:21:03,988 --> 01:21:05,372 judged him for what he was. 705 01:21:05,673 --> 01:21:07,743 This world is dying and it should be. 706 01:21:08,866 --> 01:21:10,948 I can't use modern terminology either. 707 01:21:11,442 --> 01:21:13,744 Transgender, cross-dressing, non binary. 708 01:21:14,291 --> 01:21:18,005 He knew nothing of these terms when he built his identity in the 30s and 40s. 709 01:21:18,923 --> 01:21:22,225 We cannot bring him back now and ask him what he identifies as. 710 01:21:23,074 --> 01:21:24,526 This will remain his secret. 711 01:21:25,156 --> 01:21:27,814 I just know that I loved him as my father. 712 01:21:28,321 --> 01:21:29,924 And now I love her as Melodie. 713 01:22:06,258 --> 01:22:13,533 It was important that you came here with me. 714 01:22:15,410 --> 01:22:21,589 Today is the birth of the second sun. 715 01:22:43,304 --> 01:22:45,524 Finally, I can visit Miho's dream. 716 01:22:48,264 --> 01:22:49,716 She taught me how. 717 01:22:51,401 --> 01:22:53,635 I've learned how to read the signs now. 718 01:22:55,252 --> 01:22:56,402 My journey is done. 719 01:22:57,868 --> 01:23:01,773 Now the two worlds are reconciled. 720 01:23:02,841 --> 01:23:07,088 The secret will not hurt anymore. 721 01:23:09,322 --> 01:23:15,336 You and your family can live. 722 01:23:17,405 --> 01:23:24,488 I hear Melody in this stream. 723 01:23:33,380 --> 01:23:34,490 TODAY 724 01:23:38,764 --> 01:23:41,751 Laurène's little sister grew up so fast. 725 01:23:54,259 --> 01:23:56,698 Laurène, herself, grew up faster than I thought. 726 01:24:26,908 --> 01:24:28,894 I composed this song for you, Laurène, 727 01:24:29,264 --> 01:24:33,416 and for this child that you're bringing to our planet. 728 01:25:05,599 --> 01:25:07,284 You are the children of the future. 729 01:25:16,093 --> 01:25:18,683 You told me not to ask if it was a boy or girl. 730 01:25:21,436 --> 01:25:23,999 She or he shall be free in this new world.