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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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‪NETFLIX 喜剧特辑

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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‪女士们先生们 欢迎西奥冯

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‪你们好吗 纳什维尔！

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‪朋友们 真高兴今晚看到大家

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‪很高兴来到这里

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‪我剪了个中性发型

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‪别跟我说平权那一套

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‪你甚至不知道我的性别

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‪我可能是你见过的
‪最强悍的女同性恋！

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‪婊子 我是玛格丽特

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‪蛋蛋才是关键

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‪我看起来真糟糕

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‪是 你以为我不知道？

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‪我知道

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‪我看起来真糟糕 我那天意识到

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‪我看起来像是个抽烟的人

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‪我是近亲繁殖的产物吗？

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‪你们从没见过这种人？
‪一边走一边甩着手？

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‪这是中性发型

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‪你能剪出来的最中性的发型

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‪大家都讨厌这种发型

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‪如果你生活中事情太多了

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‪那就赶紧剪这个发型

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‪然后你的日程表就空了

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‪因为剪了这种发型
‪没人会对你有任何期待

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‪你什么都不行

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‪如果有人说：“小孩子掉井里了！”

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‪你的反应是：“呃⋯”

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‪“我只是在等热狗”

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‪“小什么？”

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‪“小猫？”

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‪剪了这个发型 没人对你有任何期待

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‪工作？不行

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‪工作是给别人的

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‪我哥们有份工作 头剪得挺精神

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‪他总在抱怨

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‪“我老板不停给我各种工作”

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‪他总说：“你看起来就能行 兰德尔

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‪你看起来就能行！”

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‪你得利用逆反心理 哥们

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‪有人要是看你上班时留这种发型
‪他就会说

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‪“午餐见 哥们”

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‪而他们还不能解雇我
‪因为我可能是女的

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‪你现在得是女的

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‪我努力把阴茎缩回去

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‪“我只是阴道太长了 长官
‪别解雇我”

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‪我上床前都要站在床边
‪努力把香肠往里缩

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‪如果我想有未来
‪就得减少它的外悬时间

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‪很高兴来到纳什维尔
‪谢谢你们的好客

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‪我非常感谢

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‪我一直住在洛杉矶 那里已经疯了

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‪我不怪⋯那里的大火

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‪不要责怪火焰

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‪因为那里已经没有任何普通人了

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‪我的成长过程中
‪周围都是普通人

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‪你知道的

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‪现在那里所有人都很牛逼
‪他们的爸爸也很牛逼

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‪知道吗？

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‪我年少时⋯

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‪年少时我街区里有个人没有胳膊

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‪他跟所有人打架

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‪一条胳膊没有

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‪那人叫“格”

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‪对

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‪其实他叫埃格顿 好吧？

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‪没人叫“格” 这不是个名字

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‪那更像一种声音 可能你正吃着呢

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‪有人吓你一跳 你就“嗝”

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‪“只是妈妈在撸猫而已”

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‪“你摸猫之前要打招呼 琳达”

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‪那哥们叫埃格顿

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‪他无臂掐死了我们镇里的30个人

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‪他们叫他“格”是因为去掉

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‪埃格顿中的“埃”和“顿”

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‪剩下的就是“格”

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‪只剩下中间部分 就像他的身体一样

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‪这真是你听过的
‪最切中要害的名字 是吧？

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‪而你不会想到他能掐死任何人

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‪因为他胳膊没了

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‪上帝其实没给他机会 而他⋯

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‪他就这么站着

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‪然后打个喷嚏

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‪突然把你掐死
‪再这样维持着平衡走回家

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‪找烟抽去了

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‪他有一次上法庭

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‪法官就问
‪“你们召上来的就是这么个玩意？”

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‪“格”就这么站在那儿

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‪手铐盖在他肩上

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‪他们甚至不能给他采集指纹 看

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‪他把肩膀在墨里滚

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‪跟在表格上画雪人似的

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‪我⋯我想知道他下场如何

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‪可能有人把他杀了

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‪我不觉得你应该杀人 但⋯

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‪有时你应该杀

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‪因为那甚至不是个人 掐死的⋯

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‪其实是个超级长的蛇

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‪不认字

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‪掐死别人

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‪就是蛇

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‪很简单 蛇的基础数学运算

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‪对我来说很简单

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‪不过我成长过程中 周围都是普通人

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‪我们街区还有个人叫“阿奶”

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‪根据奶制品这个食物群命名的

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‪没错 他可以是酸奶

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‪黄油 曼特奇亚
‪也就是西班牙语的黄油

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‪挺酷的 为什么用西班牙语
‪就更性感了呢？

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‪叫曼特奇亚吗

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‪她多大了啊？

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‪反正我年少时街区里
‪住着这个叫“阿奶”的人

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‪他有唐氏综合征

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‪我不会在这儿⋯如果你不信

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‪我不会在这儿跟你辩论

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‪你可以出去自己尽情辩论 但⋯

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‪他确实有唐氏综合征

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‪我们都有点啥 他有这个

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‪我们有 他也有 我相信如此

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‪但他妈一直没给他准备好相关文件

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‪因为她是个酒鬼

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‪他就这么得着唐氏综合征

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‪自由职业唐氏综合征

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‪她妈搞不清状况 她说他没病

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‪人们说他有病

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‪说他有唐氏综合症 她还说他没有

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‪“我儿子是爱尔兰人”

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‪他不是爱尔兰人

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‪没人可以那么爱尔兰 珍妮特女士

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‪那简直是700%爱尔兰

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‪都接近苏格兰了

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‪我没拿唐氏综合症儿童开玩笑

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‪我没有 我也不会这么做

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‪所以如果你这么想

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‪不要这么想

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‪你这么想 不意味我有这么做

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‪我们都有点病 知道吧

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‪什么病都有可能 可能是麻风病

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‪我甚至不知道那是什么

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‪所以如果我真发现我得这病了

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‪我应该会挺惊讶的

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‪我和“阿奶”以前常常喝酒

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‪人们以为唐氏综合症患者从不喝酒

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‪我会说可能他们不常喝酒

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‪但这位常喝 没错

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‪我们以前常
‪在我们镇上的华美达酒店喝酒

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‪不过是在凶案发生前

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‪你们知道吗？

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‪每个华美达酒店都发生过凶案

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‪对

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‪之前有网站还是Tumblr账号叫
‪每家华美达酒店都有凶案.com151
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‪挺酷的 不酷 但

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‪挺牛的

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‪曾经有两家华美达酒店没发生过凶案

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‪所以人们都很愤怒 在留言板上写

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‪“大家在这些破地都睡得挺好啊”

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‪谢天谢地 终于有人
‪在这些华美达酒店被杀了

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‪“安息吧”

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‪我和“阿奶”以前常去那里
‪跟一个男的喝酒

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‪他是夜班经理

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‪他就在华美达酒店上班
‪他叫帕特里克先生

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‪他车后备箱里有些名酒

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‪比如雷司令 他会把酒到在咖啡杯里

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‪我们就坐在那里

165
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‪释放体内的爱尔兰灵魂 懂我意思吧

166
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‪回想当年
‪我意识到那个人可能是⋯

167
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‪可能是未实践的恋童癖

168
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‪懂我意思吧

169
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‪他有这种欲望 但没释放出来

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‪这真的就⋯

171
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‪如果你是恋童癖
‪别让别人知道 这就⋯

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‪这就能解决一切问题

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‪不过随便吧

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‪还发生了什么

175
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‪没什么

176
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‪我的表哥被一个男同性恋咬了

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‪我们等着看他会不会转化吧

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‪这是真事

179
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‪就发生在洛杉矶

180
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‪“全球最友好的城市”

181
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‪而人们在咬直男

182
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‪就在万圣节那天

183
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‪一个同性恋男士装扮成一头小鹿

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‪没错

185
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‪一个同性恋男士装扮成一头小鹿

186
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‪他越过树篱
‪朝着我表哥的背上咬了一口

187
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‪正咬在背上

188
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‪留了牙印和肉桂味唇膏在他背上

189
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‪拿去测试过了 被证实是肉桂味

190
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‪在犯罪现场还以为是桃子味

191
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‪这种破事不能再发生了

192
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‪我们可以做得更好

193
00:13:21,425 --> 00:13:24,762
‪那个人还拧他了
‪我要全讲出来

194
00:13:24,845 --> 00:13:26,472
‪那个人还拧他了

195
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‪现在谁还拧别人啊？

196
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‪六岁后就不拧了

197
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‪你内心得有多邪恶才能去拧别人啊

198
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‪抓住别人身体的一小块

199
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‪想对它造成伤害

200
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‪必须停下了

201
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‪我们可以做得更好

202
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‪你气死我了

203
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‪人们说这是反同性恋

204
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‪这不是反同性恋

205
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‪我根本不在乎
‪你是不是同性恋 好吗？

206
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‪别在晚上咬人 熊男

207
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‪还在户外

208
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‪晚上别在户外咬人 朋友

209
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‪我们都曾疯过

210
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‪同性恋现在甚至都不再狂野了

211
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‪没人会说不了

212
00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:36,625
‪兄弟

213
00:14:40,462 --> 00:14:41,714
‪没人⋯

214
00:14:42,756 --> 00:14:47,595
‪甚至没人会“咳咳”了

215
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:51,974
‪我们都有几分同性恋

216
00:14:52,933 --> 00:14:54,727
‪我不是说做同性恋很好

217
00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:57,021
‪但也不像之前那么少见

218
00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:01,483
‪我认识的同性恋甚至多于⋯

219
00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:03,652
‪会杂耍的人

220
00:15:07,781 --> 00:15:09,408
‪多多了

221
00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:13,954
‪所以应该说男同、女同
‪双性恋、跨性别、杂耍

222
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:21,462
‪我们谁也不能落下

223
00:15:22,504 --> 00:15:26,008
‪我们都要保持球飞在空中

224
00:15:29,678 --> 00:15:31,597
‪我的朋友华莱士上个月说

225
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:35,059
‪“我要告诉你 哥们
‪我爱上了男人”

226
00:15:35,142 --> 00:15:38,228
‪我就说：“哥们 丹尼尔一直⋯

227
00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:44,693
‪我听见你说的了
‪但我们得关注更重要的事”

228
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,909
‪我们都有几分同性恋

229
00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:54,328
‪如果他去过奎兹诺斯

230
00:15:54,411 --> 00:15:56,288
‪还记得奎兹诺斯里的情景吗？

231
00:15:58,165 --> 00:16:00,084
‪那家三明治连锁店 里面都是男人

232
00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:03,253
‪奎兹诺斯的客户群
‪主要是男的 对吧？

233
00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:06,173
‪你给我四周 我都说不出

234
00:16:06,256 --> 00:16:07,967
‪七个去过奎兹诺斯的女的

235
00:16:11,011 --> 00:16:15,265
‪在奎兹诺斯 你就这么走进去

236
00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:16,725
‪你晃荡进去时

237
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:19,770
‪门会发出轻微的吱吱声

238
00:16:19,853 --> 00:16:22,982
‪你点了个大三明治

239
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:26,944
‪你自己坐在那儿 试着⋯

240
00:16:27,861 --> 00:16:31,198
‪试着征服这个小畜生

241
00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:35,661
‪你跟另一个男人对视

242
00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:39,999
‪你感到小鹿乱撞了一下

243
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:46,046
‪你不是同性恋
‪但你也不是异性恋 我可知道

244
00:16:47,881 --> 00:16:52,469
‪奎兹诺斯可是同性恋的敲门砖

245
00:16:53,887 --> 00:16:56,765
‪我要把这句写在意见卡上

246
00:17:02,479 --> 00:17:04,481
‪我们都有几分同性恋

247
00:17:05,649 --> 00:17:06,775
‪要是⋯

248
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:10,612
‪假如你在九月去了朋友家⋯

249
00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:15,743
‪天已经冷了 你留下过夜

250
00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:18,120
‪因为天太冷了 你不想开车回家

251
00:17:18,954 --> 00:17:20,956
‪他在房间里睡觉 你在沙发上睡觉

252
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,584
‪他早上起来去工作
‪你之后就接着睡他的床

253
00:17:23,667 --> 00:17:25,252
‪那床还是温热的

254
00:17:25,961 --> 00:17:27,379
‪对吧

255
00:17:29,923 --> 00:17:33,510
‪你不是同性恋
‪但你也不是异性恋 哥们 对吧

256
00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:37,389
‪有一些情况

257
00:17:39,349 --> 00:17:43,771
‪我们没有那么不同
‪我们都有几分同性恋

258
00:17:43,854 --> 00:17:46,273
‪大家可能都是11%的同性恋

259
00:17:48,692 --> 00:17:53,280
‪这倒也没多少可泄露的 所以⋯

260
00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:59,828
‪我小时候镇上的多样性不足

261
00:18:00,954 --> 00:18:03,749
‪我们那儿有一个人被雷劈了 但他⋯

262
00:18:04,374 --> 00:18:07,753
‪他提前自己安排的 想要赔偿

263
00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:16,386
‪但疯狂的是他居然昏迷了

264
00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:18,138
‪我们都好嫉妒他

265
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:21,767
‪“看这个有钱的混蛋”

266
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:28,565
‪“靠着咱交的税在呼吸“

267
00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:35,364
‪我小时候镇上的多样性不足

268
00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:39,201
‪我的街区基本上只有穷黑人和穷白人

269
00:18:39,284 --> 00:18:42,996
‪所以我后来
‪总听人说白人特权时 就想

270
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,248
‪“靠

271
00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:46,375
‪错过了”

272
00:18:49,419 --> 00:18:52,381
‪我确实认识些有毛衣穿的混蛋

273
00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:57,594
‪别误会我 但我冬天只有两件背心穿

274
00:18:59,346 --> 00:19:01,807
‪“你确定穿这些能暖和？”

275
00:19:01,890 --> 00:19:03,851
‪“能暖和”

276
00:19:03,934 --> 00:19:08,313
‪“我只感觉冷⋯而健壮”

277
00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:13,694
‪我的黑人朋友冲着我发火

278
00:19:13,777 --> 00:19:15,946
‪“看你对我们做了什么”

279
00:19:16,029 --> 00:19:17,781
‪“看你对我们做了什么”

280
00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:20,701
‪哥们 你觉得这一切都是我做的？

281
00:19:20,784 --> 00:19:23,370
‪然后搬到了你隔壁？

282
00:19:24,621 --> 00:19:27,583
‪我们到底还要不分这些李子？

283
00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:31,128
‪靠 我们沦落到一块了

284
00:19:31,211 --> 00:19:35,924
‪你觉得我把你的东西夺走了
‪然后自己还没拿？

285
00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:40,262
‪其他人拿走了咱俩的东西

286
00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:43,682
‪他们还看咱俩打架

287
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:48,395
‪这是钞票特权

288
00:19:50,689 --> 00:19:52,900
‪特权是属于有钱人的

289
00:19:54,484 --> 00:19:57,029
‪穷人还喜欢打架 这是最糟的

290
00:19:57,112 --> 00:19:59,740
‪“你穷？” “我穷！”

291
00:20:01,074 --> 00:20:05,370
‪我哥在我们那片
‪有一次被鱼叉叉中过

292
00:20:06,121 --> 00:20:08,665
‪一条针嘴鱼扎中了他

293
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:10,500
‪没错

294
00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:14,004
‪来自过去 有人从过去
‪把那玩意扔到他身上

295
00:20:14,963 --> 00:20:15,964
‪好吗？

296
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:20,093
‪时空旅行过来的长矛击中了他

297
00:20:23,263 --> 00:20:25,265
‪穷人们喜欢打架

298
00:20:28,435 --> 00:20:31,438
‪我成长过程中经常和黑人打架

299
00:20:32,272 --> 00:20:36,026
‪我不知道你是否
‪和黑人打过架 但⋯

300
00:20:37,194 --> 00:20:38,695
‪他们总赢

301
00:20:42,783 --> 00:20:44,952
‪他们总是会赢⋯

302
00:20:46,703 --> 00:20:47,871
‪有一次他们作弊了

303
00:20:47,955 --> 00:20:50,832
‪大晚上五个黑人扑向了我

304
00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:54,211
‪我不知道你们是否在晚上
‪跟五个黑人打过架 但⋯

305
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:59,383
‪想象一下你在跟五个黑人打架

306
00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:02,219
‪现在闭上眼

307
00:21:04,221 --> 00:21:06,765
‪你能看见你在跟几个黑人打架吗

308
00:21:07,391 --> 00:21:10,018
‪你的想象力能放飞到何种程度
‪你就看见了多少

309
00:21:14,648 --> 00:21:17,567
‪以前挺艰难的
‪我们在贫穷的环境成长起来

310
00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:21,321
‪贫穷其实挺刺激有趣的

311
00:21:22,572 --> 00:21:23,532
‪是的

312
00:21:24,032 --> 00:21:26,660
‪我知道排水沟里着火都烧死过人

313
00:21:27,703 --> 00:21:30,747
‪他差点活下来了
‪但他们不断把他扔回去

314
00:21:34,084 --> 00:21:36,044
‪业主委员会是不会这么对你的

315
00:21:39,381 --> 00:21:42,175
‪你得更加边缘一点 所以⋯

316
00:21:43,552 --> 00:21:45,762
‪我们经历过一段有意思的时光

317
00:21:47,097 --> 00:21:49,725
‪贫穷对所有人都很难
‪我不在乎你的肤色是什么

318
00:21:49,808 --> 00:21:52,894
‪我知道对一些人来说更难

319
00:21:52,978 --> 00:21:55,939
‪可能对一些种族会更难点 但

320
00:21:56,023 --> 00:21:57,858
‪我觉得有时⋯

321
00:21:57,941 --> 00:22:01,111
‪我还是觉得有时我们忘了
‪甚至白人也在挣扎

322
00:22:01,194 --> 00:22:06,074
‪我记得我上大学时想获得经济资助

323
00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:08,618
‪我去了经济资助办公室

324
00:22:08,702 --> 00:22:12,205
‪一个可爱的黑人女士琳达在那里工作

325
00:22:12,289 --> 00:22:13,332
‪我记得我想获取

326
00:22:13,415 --> 00:22:16,084
‪专门为穷困的白人孩子
‪设置的经济资助

327
00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:18,128
‪没有这样的项目

328
00:22:18,211 --> 00:22:20,130
‪专门为穷人设置的？不过⋯

329
00:22:20,213 --> 00:22:22,966
‪她说：“你得是黑人 拉美裔

330
00:22:23,050 --> 00:22:27,137
‪美洲原住民 太平洋岛民”

331
00:22:27,763 --> 00:22:29,222
‪比如他妈的冲浪手吗？

332
00:22:31,516 --> 00:22:34,644
‪冲浪手都能拿钱？我们是个内陆国

333
00:22:36,354 --> 00:22:38,565
‪她说：“你变黑后再来”

334
00:22:39,858 --> 00:22:42,360
‪我问：“通关密码是什么 琳达？”

335
00:22:43,737 --> 00:22:45,655
‪她说：“去跟篮球教练聊聊”

336
00:22:45,739 --> 00:22:49,910
‪我说：“他不能造出黑人孩子

337
00:22:50,744 --> 00:22:52,370
‪他找到他们时就是已经是黑人了

338
00:22:52,454 --> 00:22:54,206
‪这位教练没那么牛”

339
00:22:59,044 --> 00:23:01,588
‪有时你会看到白人扮黑人

340
00:23:01,671 --> 00:23:03,590
‪我不容忍这事

341
00:23:03,673 --> 00:23:07,010
‪但无论何时你看到别人这么做
‪可以等一下

342
00:23:08,011 --> 00:23:09,679
‪先确保...

343
00:23:10,263 --> 00:23:13,975
‪他们不是为了拿经济资助
‪你懂我的意思吗

344
00:23:14,059 --> 00:23:17,896
‪如果是这样的话
‪那他妈就把我弄棕吧

345
00:23:19,064 --> 00:23:21,942
‪浅点也行 我可以扮菲律宾人

346
00:23:23,276 --> 00:23:26,613
‪这么快就可以向上爬 赞美上帝吧

347
00:23:33,036 --> 00:23:35,914
‪我们在其中共同挣扎

348
00:23:38,750 --> 00:23:40,836
‪我成长过程中人群多样性不足

349
00:23:42,963 --> 00:23:45,799
‪我记得我们第一次有了墨西哥孩子

350
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:49,553
‪也不是“有了”
‪我不是说我们拥有了他

351
00:23:51,221 --> 00:23:53,640
‪他没在笼子里 好吗

352
00:23:54,641 --> 00:23:55,851
‪不会召唤“赫克托！

353
00:23:57,102 --> 00:24:00,021
‪出来吧 哥们 路上怎么样？”

354
00:24:00,105 --> 00:24:02,107
‪他的出现纯属自然

355
00:24:03,358 --> 00:24:06,111
‪就这么自然出现了一个拉美裔

356
00:24:07,737 --> 00:24:11,408
‪因为我们那片根本没有拉美裔

357
00:24:11,908 --> 00:24:15,078
‪不是我们不想要 我们那里就是没有

358
00:24:15,912 --> 00:24:18,165
‪你知道的 上帝不会给所有人一切

359
00:24:18,248 --> 00:24:21,084
‪我们当时就没有任何拉美裔

360
00:24:21,793 --> 00:24:24,171
‪我记得我当时上初一

361
00:24:24,254 --> 00:24:29,384
‪我们会上科学课 生物课

362
00:24:32,429 --> 00:24:33,763
‪动物课⋯

363
00:24:35,390 --> 00:24:36,474
‪那课很重要

364
00:24:36,808 --> 00:24:39,060
‪性教育课 体育课

365
00:24:40,478 --> 00:24:42,272
‪当时有个人不上体育课

366
00:24:42,355 --> 00:24:44,024
‪这孩子叫“阿球”

367
00:24:44,774 --> 00:24:48,486
‪“薯球”的“球” 就是那个开胃菜

368
00:24:50,113 --> 00:24:53,909
‪他有点自闭症
‪有那么一点点严重

369
00:24:53,992 --> 00:24:57,370
‪是 他有自闭症

370
00:24:57,454 --> 00:24:59,664
‪以求安慰 他会裹着毯子来学校

371
00:25:00,373 --> 00:25:02,167
‪他在学校一整天都裹着毯子

372
00:25:02,250 --> 00:25:04,669
‪他也裹着毯子回家

373
00:25:04,753 --> 00:25:07,464
‪人们都叫他“球王”
‪这是他的绰号

374
00:25:08,006 --> 00:25:10,175
‪因为他裹着毯子挺有王者风范的

375
00:25:11,218 --> 00:25:12,302
‪这个绰号挺常见的

376
00:25:12,385 --> 00:25:14,095
‪如果你是个裹着毯子的孩子

377
00:25:14,179 --> 00:25:16,181
‪你就会被叫做“球王”

378
00:25:17,432 --> 00:25:19,935
‪但我们的一位老师
‪为了让他参与进来

379
00:25:20,018 --> 00:25:21,603
‪会让我们画

380
00:25:21,686 --> 00:25:23,647
‪室外发生了什么

381
00:25:23,730 --> 00:25:26,233
‪然后从毯子缝下把画塞给阿球

382
00:25:27,317 --> 00:25:31,363
‪就用这么一张纸展示宇宙的片刻

383
00:25:32,739 --> 00:25:34,366
‪给小阿球

384
00:25:35,075 --> 00:25:37,911
‪他早上10点裹着毯子待在那儿

385
00:25:37,994 --> 00:25:40,664
‪然后信息会不停涌入给他

386
00:25:41,665 --> 00:25:43,917
‪“好的”

387
00:25:47,712 --> 00:25:52,300
‪我得承认 我有时会画战争景象

388
00:25:53,134 --> 00:25:54,928
‪然后塞给他

389
00:25:55,595 --> 00:25:58,556
‪你就会听到他喊：“战争！”

390
00:26:00,058 --> 00:26:02,060
‪看看阿球

391
00:26:03,103 --> 00:26:04,437
‪阳光！

392
00:26:05,021 --> 00:26:06,189
‪阳光！

393
00:26:07,023 --> 00:26:08,233
‪阳光！

394
00:26:08,775 --> 00:26:11,778
‪你得连画三张阳光图
‪才能让他平静下来

395
00:26:12,862 --> 00:26:14,739
‪才能让毯子停止抖动

396
00:26:16,283 --> 00:26:18,618
‪你得保持布的稳定 这就是阿球

397
00:26:20,829 --> 00:26:22,122
‪那就是上帝

398
00:26:25,542 --> 00:26:27,377
‪很棒 我们的同学们很棒

399
00:26:27,460 --> 00:26:29,546
‪这是因为⋯

400
00:26:30,130 --> 00:26:31,673
‪班里有动物

401
00:26:32,799 --> 00:26:34,009
‪你们知道动物的吧

402
00:26:37,220 --> 00:26:39,764
‪你们见过动物的吧
‪你们知道我在说什么吧

403
00:26:39,848 --> 00:26:41,850
‪教室里有动物

404
00:26:41,933 --> 00:26:43,518
‪你可以在上课前拿个动物

405
00:26:43,601 --> 00:26:44,853
‪放到自己的课桌上

406
00:26:46,313 --> 00:26:47,522
‪因为在上科学课

407
00:26:47,605 --> 00:26:50,108
‪你要接受一堆科学内容

408
00:26:50,191 --> 00:26:53,653
‪拿上你的金丝熊 你的仓鼠

409
00:26:53,737 --> 00:26:56,114
‪来拿条蛇 拿条蜥蜴
‪明白我在说什么吗？

410
00:26:56,197 --> 00:26:57,407
‪放到你的课桌上

411
00:26:57,949 --> 00:26:59,617
‪拿上你的小猫 小⋯

412
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:02,454
‪小牡蛎

413
00:27:03,204 --> 00:27:05,665
‪我们班上有个小孩经历过火灾

414
00:27:06,374 --> 00:27:08,001
‪他拿不了任何会划伤他的东西

415
00:27:08,084 --> 00:27:10,211
‪所以他们把他牡蛎放他身上

416
00:27:12,130 --> 00:27:13,965
‪这孩子叫谢尔曼

417
00:27:15,342 --> 00:27:20,013
‪有人叫他“烧焦谢尔曼”
‪不是我叫的 好吗？

418
00:27:20,096 --> 00:27:22,307
‪别人叫的 我没叫过

419
00:27:23,141 --> 00:27:24,768
‪别以为是我说的

420
00:27:29,147 --> 00:27:30,857
‪我从没这么说过

421
00:27:32,776 --> 00:27:34,652
‪但你在学习科学

422
00:27:34,736 --> 00:27:36,696
‪你有一堆科学内容

423
00:27:36,780 --> 00:27:39,949
‪拿上你的小寄居蟹 小⋯

424
00:27:41,659 --> 00:27:43,536
‪可能是小狗 小⋯

425
00:27:44,204 --> 00:27:45,747
‪土拨鼠

426
00:27:46,081 --> 00:27:49,501
‪不 水生动物

427
00:27:50,794 --> 00:27:52,295
‪对 鱼

428
00:27:53,004 --> 00:27:55,173
‪拿到课桌上

429
00:27:55,256 --> 00:27:57,592
‪鱼就很糟了 如果你拿到鱼

430
00:27:57,675 --> 00:28:00,595
‪你得每隔两分钟
‪就把这玩意泡水里一会儿

431
00:28:03,223 --> 00:28:06,267
‪我们班上有个孩子叫莱斯特

432
00:28:06,351 --> 00:28:08,478
‪他就不把鱼泡水里

433
00:28:09,854 --> 00:28:11,898
‪他不怎么聪明

434
00:28:11,981 --> 00:28:15,151
‪他只会张着嘴 就这样⋯

435
00:28:16,820 --> 00:28:20,031
‪莱斯特 把那玩意泡水里

436
00:28:22,242 --> 00:28:24,786
‪那玩意要干了

437
00:28:25,578 --> 00:28:27,247
‪把那玩意泡水里！

438
00:28:28,373 --> 00:28:30,959
‪已经过了六分钟了 莱斯

439
00:28:31,042 --> 00:28:33,461
‪你这是在谋杀 哥们

440
00:28:35,296 --> 00:28:39,217
‪你简直在做动物标本
‪把那玩意泡水里

441
00:28:44,139 --> 00:28:47,600
‪但你在学习科学
‪你有一堆科学内容要学

442
00:28:48,685 --> 00:28:51,146
‪你要充分调动你的五感

443
00:28:52,230 --> 00:28:53,773
‪真的很美

444
00:28:55,191 --> 00:28:57,444
‪有一天我们开始学习性教育

445
00:28:59,779 --> 00:29:03,032
‪对我们某些人来说⋯它就是无师自通

446
00:29:03,825 --> 00:29:04,826
‪你知道是真的 有的人是无师自通的

447
00:29:04,909 --> 00:29:07,245
‪这个东西就是与生俱来的

448
00:29:08,246 --> 00:29:10,623
‪我还以为会有
‪一个叫“艾德”的人...

449
00:29:12,333 --> 00:29:13,710
‪对

450
00:29:15,628 --> 00:29:18,381
‪我以为这个“艾德”会跑到教室里

451
00:29:18,465 --> 00:29:20,049
‪表演喷射

452
00:29:21,426 --> 00:29:22,594
‪因为我见过在铁轨旁

453
00:29:22,677 --> 00:29:24,679
‪兼职工作的铁路人员

454
00:29:24,763 --> 00:29:26,222
‪他叫“铁路埃迪”

455
00:29:27,849 --> 00:29:29,184
‪他就在栅栏旁撸管

456
00:29:29,267 --> 00:29:31,895
‪每次他射的时候
‪会有人给他扔硬币

457
00:29:31,978 --> 00:29:33,646
‪射 埃迪 快射啊

458
00:29:34,689 --> 00:29:36,357
‪加油 埃迪！

459
00:29:37,275 --> 00:29:39,277
‪有人会透过铁丝网

460
00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:41,446
‪给他喂桃子片来让他⋯

461
00:29:42,489 --> 00:29:43,656
‪保持能量

462
00:29:45,909 --> 00:29:50,830
‪这是个隐晦的同义词
‪“爱的教育”

463
00:29:53,291 --> 00:29:55,752
‪政府又赢了 每次都赢

464
00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:03,593
‪就这样我们开始学性教育
‪我们那时知道些什么？

465
00:30:04,135 --> 00:30:07,514
‪人们会紧张 困惑

466
00:30:08,014 --> 00:30:10,642
‪有个小孩甚至穿了燕尾服

467
00:30:11,726 --> 00:30:14,771
‪我们不是真的要搞 肯尼斯

468
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:17,565
‪只是给你看些图而已

469
00:30:18,191 --> 00:30:20,652
‪他还在那儿往头上喷古龙水

470
00:30:21,861 --> 00:30:26,407
‪别喷古龙水了 肯尼
‪不过看些图而已

471
00:30:28,117 --> 00:30:30,036
‪我记得当时学校里的小霸王

472
00:30:30,119 --> 00:30:32,831
‪在黑板上画卵巢时晕过去了

473
00:30:34,666 --> 00:30:37,460
‪我们这群人表现得真不怎么样

474
00:30:39,712 --> 00:30:43,508
‪我记得自己坐在课桌前 全身勃起

475
00:30:45,426 --> 00:30:48,137
‪还抱着一个小松鼠 就⋯

476
00:30:50,014 --> 00:30:53,726
‪“如果它呼吸重一点 我就要射了”

477
00:31:02,402 --> 00:31:03,319
‪该死

478
00:31:04,153 --> 00:31:06,322
‪如果刚才的内容太过了 很抱歉

479
00:31:09,659 --> 00:31:12,912
‪再给我一次机会

480
00:31:14,664 --> 00:31:16,416
‪抱歉 我应该⋯

481
00:31:17,834 --> 00:31:20,169
‪刚是撒旦附体了 抱歉

482
00:31:21,254 --> 00:31:24,424
‪撒旦可以这么附体 难道不疯狂吗？

483
00:31:25,091 --> 00:31:26,467
‪明白我在说什么吧

484
00:31:26,551 --> 00:31:28,595
‪你以为你跟上帝在一起
‪然后撒旦来了

485
00:31:29,387 --> 00:31:32,640
‪看着我 上帝 然后我变成了撒旦

486
00:31:34,392 --> 00:31:37,270
‪我们这群人表现得真不怎么样

487
00:31:38,271 --> 00:31:40,231
‪有一天我们的校长来到班里

488
00:31:40,315 --> 00:31:42,859
‪一个叫南希伍兹的美丽女士

489
00:31:43,735 --> 00:31:47,739
‪她应该是刚去世了 不过我不确定

490
00:31:48,573 --> 00:31:50,700
‪伍兹女士 如果你在看节目

491
00:31:52,702 --> 00:31:53,870
‪算是惊喜吧

492
00:31:54,412 --> 00:31:56,080
‪天哪 我说了什么啊？

493
00:31:58,207 --> 00:32:00,835
‪我记得我们想杀她 千真万确

494
00:32:00,919 --> 00:32:02,253
‪明白我在说什么吗？

495
00:32:04,130 --> 00:32:05,632
‪真的

496
00:32:05,715 --> 00:32:07,675
‪我们其中一位副校长课间休息时

497
00:32:07,759 --> 00:32:10,553
‪经常在他车后备箱里睡觉

498
00:32:10,637 --> 00:32:12,847
‪他会把那个钥匙样的东西抽出来

499
00:32:12,931 --> 00:32:15,391
‪这样他就能透过缝呼吸 他特猛

500
00:32:15,975 --> 00:32:18,728
‪他真太猛了 他叫罗利科尔曼

501
00:32:18,811 --> 00:32:20,396
‪我不应该点他名 但⋯

502
00:32:22,148 --> 00:32:24,525
‪他也不该当着孩子面干这个

503
00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:27,195
‪所以我们扯平了 罗利

504
00:32:30,531 --> 00:32:35,703
‪我记得我们的副校长来到班里
‪那位南希伍兹女士

505
00:32:35,787 --> 00:32:37,413
‪她是意大利人

506
00:32:37,497 --> 00:32:40,792
‪她简直是700%意大利人

507
00:32:40,875 --> 00:32:44,087
‪恐怕还不到一米高

508
00:32:44,754 --> 00:32:46,506
‪娇小玲珑 你知道的

509
00:32:47,131 --> 00:32:48,216
‪把意大利红酱当水喝

510
00:32:48,299 --> 00:32:50,426
‪还往脖子上打睾丸素

511
00:32:52,303 --> 00:32:53,930
‪真正的美女

512
00:32:55,473 --> 00:32:56,599
‪她冷酷无情

513
00:32:56,683 --> 00:32:59,644
‪她走进我们班
‪手里有一个新学生在当球运

514
00:33:02,355 --> 00:33:05,692
‪她说：“同学们
‪这位是你们的新同学”

515
00:33:05,775 --> 00:33:07,318
‪就是一个墨西哥男孩

516
00:33:08,236 --> 00:33:09,654
‪我们从没见过墨西哥人

517
00:33:11,948 --> 00:33:13,449
‪想象一下墨西哥人

518
00:33:15,118 --> 00:33:16,494
‪然后不要想他们

519
00:33:17,578 --> 00:33:18,746
‪那就是我们当时的反应

520
00:33:22,166 --> 00:33:25,420
‪我们可能见过十几张墨西哥人的画

521
00:33:25,503 --> 00:33:29,048
‪一些画得挺好 一些画得不好

522
00:33:30,341 --> 00:33:32,385
‪这画的就是个风筝啊

523
00:33:33,177 --> 00:33:37,140
‪只是底下写着“墨西哥”
‪这明明是个风筝

524
00:33:37,765 --> 00:33:39,350
‪你依然能拿到80分

525
00:33:43,438 --> 00:33:45,189
‪他挺帅的

526
00:33:46,399 --> 00:33:48,985
‪他在班中走着

527
00:33:49,569 --> 00:33:51,195
‪他看起来跟我们不一样

528
00:33:51,279 --> 00:33:53,156
‪我们这里只有过黑人和白人

529
00:33:53,239 --> 00:33:54,907
‪从没见过一个这样的孩子

530
00:33:54,991 --> 00:33:57,618
‪他有着肉豆蔻般的肤色

531
00:33:58,119 --> 00:33:59,078
‪他还⋯

532
00:34:00,788 --> 00:34:02,957
‪他还留着八字胡

533
00:34:04,709 --> 00:34:07,295
‪我们再怎么疯狂

534
00:34:07,378 --> 00:34:11,758
‪也都不会把孩子和八字胡联系到一起

535
00:34:14,010 --> 00:34:17,472
‪但这是拉丁文化的一部分

536
00:34:17,555 --> 00:34:21,142
‪他们的孩子在整个童年
‪竭尽全力 就为了

537
00:34:24,228 --> 00:34:26,522
‪长出那副“唇上门帘”

538
00:34:27,899 --> 00:34:30,401
‪“唇上门帘”

539
00:34:32,862 --> 00:34:34,405
‪他挺帅的

540
00:34:35,948 --> 00:34:38,618
‪他在班中走着

541
00:34:39,118 --> 00:34:41,746
‪同学们的反应是“靠”

542
00:34:42,705 --> 00:34:44,624
‪“他是犹太猪”

543
00:34:48,294 --> 00:34:52,673
‪然后他在课桌前坐下
‪他叫尼古拉斯 墨西哥尼古拉斯

544
00:34:54,300 --> 00:34:57,136
‪他坐了四分钟

545
00:34:57,220 --> 00:34:59,806
‪然后举起了手

546
00:34:59,889 --> 00:35:03,226
‪人们的反应是“他要说话了”

547
00:35:04,769 --> 00:35:07,355
‪他在性教育课上举起了手

548
00:35:08,189 --> 00:35:10,817
‪他说：“布莱克威尔老师”

549
00:35:11,984 --> 00:35:13,820
‪然后

550
00:35:15,696 --> 00:35:19,575
‪我就喜欢
‪这种纯正墨西哥口音 好吧

551
00:35:19,659 --> 00:35:22,203
‪听着 我保证下面这个故事是真的

552
00:35:23,121 --> 00:35:24,997
‪每个字都是真的 我想尽可能

553
00:35:25,081 --> 00:35:27,667
‪准确致敬此故事中尼古拉斯的声音

554
00:35:29,544 --> 00:35:31,838
‪我记得他的声音就是那样

555
00:35:32,797 --> 00:35:35,341
‪也有可能我当年种族歧视

556
00:35:37,844 --> 00:35:41,597
‪反正他在性教育课上举起了手

557
00:35:41,681 --> 00:35:47,145
‪问：“布莱克威尔老师
‪开苞是什么意思 兄弟”

558
00:35:48,729 --> 00:35:55,111
‪班上每个孩子都疯了！

559
00:35:55,695 --> 00:35:59,824
‪那个卵巢孩子
‪本来缓了过来 又晕过去了

560
00:36:00,867 --> 00:36:02,577
‪学生也拿不住了动物了

561
00:36:02,660 --> 00:36:05,955
‪蛇在班里追着松鼠跑

562
00:36:06,038 --> 00:36:09,083
‪学生们就在桌椅上画五角星

563
00:36:10,126 --> 00:36:12,753
‪还把家里带来的羊都杀了

564
00:36:13,963 --> 00:36:16,132
‪破羊

565
00:36:17,758 --> 00:36:20,011
‪大家都很兴奋

566
00:36:21,762 --> 00:36:24,348
‪因为之前从没人在教育场域

567
00:36:24,432 --> 00:36:26,058
‪问过一个实践问题

568
00:36:26,976 --> 00:36:29,437
‪这两个宇宙从没相遇

569
00:36:30,188 --> 00:36:31,939
‪刚来到我们生命中才四分钟

570
00:36:32,023 --> 00:36:34,317
‪墨西哥尼古拉斯就成了英雄

571
00:36:35,026 --> 00:36:36,277
‪英雄！

572
00:36:40,948 --> 00:36:46,579
‪转天我们来学校时都画上了胡子

573
00:36:46,662 --> 00:36:49,457
‪穿着墨西哥国旗

574
00:36:50,082 --> 00:36:54,378
‪穿着意大利国旗
‪当时我们以为那是墨西哥国旗

575
00:36:55,713 --> 00:36:57,506
‪这就是我

576
00:37:02,553 --> 00:37:04,055
‪没事瞎搞

577
00:37:09,936 --> 00:37:13,481
‪还有个红发孩子 红发鬼佬

578
00:37:17,860 --> 00:37:20,071
‪抱歉 我爷爷就这么叫这些人

579
00:37:21,113 --> 00:37:23,449
‪摩根沃伦被封杀的案例
‪教育了我 很抱歉

580
00:37:31,791 --> 00:37:34,627
‪我真的不能忍受这么叫了

581
00:37:36,087 --> 00:37:37,922
‪那孩子特激动于当时的团结氛围

582
00:37:38,005 --> 00:37:42,009
‪用永久性记号笔写下了“墨西哥”
‪从自己的脸延续到脖子到胸

583
00:37:42,802 --> 00:37:44,095
‪他是认真的

584
00:37:45,263 --> 00:37:49,767
‪花了四个月才从皮肤上洗掉

585
00:37:49,850 --> 00:37:53,062
‪我们一个老师
‪放学后把他放进婴儿游泳池里

586
00:37:53,145 --> 00:37:54,188
‪用洗洁精帮他洗

587
00:37:54,272 --> 00:37:56,732
‪把“墨西哥”从他胸前搓下来了

588
00:37:58,067 --> 00:38:02,029
‪若干年后 他有了孩子
‪宝宝身上就有这个胎记

589
00:38:04,156 --> 00:38:06,117
‪那可是很珍贵的 你知道的

590
00:38:09,578 --> 00:38:10,579
‪谢谢你们

591
00:38:13,207 --> 00:38:15,835
‪我要谢谢在座的各位

592
00:38:15,918 --> 00:38:18,004
‪要么核酸测试阴性

593
00:38:18,087 --> 00:38:21,716
‪要么拥有疫苗卡
‪或者办了张假疫苗卡 谢谢了

594
00:38:29,432 --> 00:38:31,142
‪来吧 兄弟

595
00:38:32,727 --> 00:38:34,645
‪我们一起毁灭吧

596
00:38:36,230 --> 00:38:37,815
‪没错

597
00:38:37,898 --> 00:38:40,818
‪我们一起的话
‪还算不错的一群人

598
00:38:44,739 --> 00:38:47,325
‪妈呀 这裤子太紧了

599
00:38:52,830 --> 00:38:54,999
‪兄弟 我不敢相信
‪女人能用这个姿势做爱

600
00:38:55,082 --> 00:38:59,211
‪这是我这辈子见过最傻的事了

601
00:39:00,504 --> 00:39:03,883
‪对 继续干我 兰道尔

602
00:39:05,343 --> 00:39:09,472
‪对 用力上我 凯尔

603
00:39:10,222 --> 00:39:13,184
‪凯尔是谁啊

604
00:39:14,143 --> 00:39:16,479
‪你们值得更好的 女士们 好吗

605
00:39:17,521 --> 00:39:22,151
‪一个个在那儿给人口
‪你们值得更好的

606
00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:30,618
‪但尼古拉斯很快就美国化了
‪发生了什么呢

607
00:39:31,827 --> 00:39:34,997
‪他开始自我膨胀了

608
00:39:35,081 --> 00:39:39,418
‪因为美国第一大出口商品
‪就是自大

609
00:39:42,171 --> 00:39:44,799
‪于是他上学第二天就开始自我膨胀了

610
00:39:44,882 --> 00:39:49,512
‪“没错 我是个英雄
‪我是个说唱歌手”

611
00:39:52,431 --> 00:39:53,599
‪不知出于什么原因

612
00:39:53,682 --> 00:39:56,227
‪一旦有人在美国出名

613
00:39:56,310 --> 00:39:58,687
‪第二天他们就变成了一个说唱歌手

614
00:39:59,313 --> 00:40:01,982
‪即使有个人昏迷了五年

615
00:40:02,066 --> 00:40:03,275
‪有一天突然苏醒

616
00:40:03,359 --> 00:40:07,113
‪“婊子 星期四就给我
‪弄张催眠精选集”

617
00:40:08,656 --> 00:40:11,617
‪尼古拉斯决心成为说唱歌手

618
00:40:12,368 --> 00:40:14,412
‪于是他得弄些首饰

619
00:40:14,954 --> 00:40:17,415
‪你知道这是说唱歌手的必备品

620
00:40:19,250 --> 00:40:22,169
‪但我们镇上没有珠宝店

621
00:40:22,253 --> 00:40:23,587
‪买不着首饰

622
00:40:24,171 --> 00:40:26,090
‪你要是想在我们镇上买首饰

623
00:40:28,801 --> 00:40:29,927
‪买不着

624
00:40:31,554 --> 00:40:34,598
‪我们那儿最容易买到的东西是
‪松节油

625
00:40:36,142 --> 00:40:37,309
‪就这么个概念

626
00:40:39,103 --> 00:40:42,982
‪所以他去参加了遗产拍卖
‪一位老太太去世了

627
00:40:43,482 --> 00:40:44,984
‪没错 老人会去世

628
00:40:45,484 --> 00:40:49,822
‪所以他到一个老太太的遗产拍卖会上

629
00:40:49,905 --> 00:40:51,782
‪买了她的首饰

630
00:40:52,575 --> 00:40:53,909
‪兄弟

631
00:40:54,493 --> 00:40:57,079
‪他第二天来上学

632
00:40:58,164 --> 00:41:01,959
‪看上去像是刚发掘了泰坦尼克一样

633
00:41:03,252 --> 00:41:06,630
‪他戴着一堆老太太项链

634
00:41:07,298 --> 00:41:10,301
‪别着两个胸针

635
00:41:10,384 --> 00:41:13,596
‪一个写着“复活节快乐”

636
00:41:14,847 --> 00:41:17,558
‪另一个上面印着个人

637
00:41:17,641 --> 00:41:20,186
‪还写着“永远 卡尔”

638
00:41:21,145 --> 00:41:24,023
‪我们说：“卡尔是他妈谁啊？”

639
00:41:25,691 --> 00:41:30,196
‪他的T恤上写着
‪“性感说唱歌手尼克”

640
00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:33,908
‪因为小孩子想要成为什么

641
00:41:33,991 --> 00:41:37,036
‪或者想要什么东西的时候
‪就会把什么写在衣服上

642
00:41:37,119 --> 00:41:40,372
‪然后穿在身上招摇过市

643
00:41:40,456 --> 00:41:41,624
‪律师

644
00:41:42,833 --> 00:41:44,335
‪医生

645
00:41:45,169 --> 00:41:46,420
‪被人爱

646
00:41:47,421 --> 00:41:51,550
‪尼古拉斯的问题在于
‪他把“说唱歌手”拼错了

647
00:41:55,221 --> 00:41:56,305
‪只写了一个“P”

648
00:41:57,765 --> 00:41:59,642
‪当场回到性教育课

649
00:42:01,435 --> 00:42:03,604
‪“性感强奸犯尼克”

650
00:42:05,356 --> 00:42:06,690
‪然后他被开除了

651
00:42:07,900 --> 00:42:09,902
‪没错 不可以强奸
‪现在还是不可以

652
00:42:12,488 --> 00:42:16,617
‪然后直到我19岁时才
‪见到另一个墨西哥人

653
00:42:22,581 --> 00:42:26,043
‪有时候我们看到一个小镇时会说

654
00:42:26,126 --> 00:42:27,878
‪“这些人不喜欢那些人”

655
00:42:27,962 --> 00:42:30,798
‪有的小镇根本就没什么人
‪你就什么都不懂

656
00:42:30,881 --> 00:42:34,176
‪因为你没有机会认识其他人

657
00:42:34,260 --> 00:42:36,845
‪所以我们需要一个

658
00:42:37,429 --> 00:42:39,306
‪我们需要一个交换项目

659
00:42:40,224 --> 00:42:43,310
‪从我们老家
‪送出去几个兰迪和达瑞尔

660
00:42:45,062 --> 00:42:49,275
‪然后“红方 红方
‪请派几个玛丽亚来我方”

661
00:42:50,651 --> 00:42:51,986
‪西班牙裔女子

662
00:42:53,612 --> 00:42:54,655
‪挺好的

663
00:42:55,906 --> 00:42:57,241
‪挺好的 哥们儿

664
00:42:57,324 --> 00:42:59,451
‪结果

665
00:42:59,535 --> 00:43:02,246
‪我与拉丁裔的关系
‪比我预料的更近

666
00:43:02,329 --> 00:43:04,832
‪因为我父亲其实来自尼加拉瓜

667
00:43:04,915 --> 00:43:07,126
‪他是迁徙过来的

668
00:43:07,209 --> 00:43:08,460
‪我也不知道 迁徙 不是指动物的吗

669
00:43:08,544 --> 00:43:11,422
‪我都不知道“迁徙”是什么意思

670
00:43:12,631 --> 00:43:16,719
‪他是排成人字形来的
‪我也不知道他是怎么来这儿的 好吧

671
00:43:17,970 --> 00:43:22,099
‪但他是1922年来到这儿的

672
00:43:22,182 --> 00:43:25,561
‪我出生时我父亲70岁了
‪他是1910年出生的

673
00:43:27,271 --> 00:43:29,690
‪挺疯的

674
00:43:29,773 --> 00:43:32,818
‪兄弟 我祖父生于1880年

675
00:43:33,444 --> 00:43:36,905
‪我们没有他的照片

676
00:43:39,325 --> 00:43:45,205
‪但我们把一段描述祖父的话
‪裱起来挂在了墙上

677
00:43:45,956 --> 00:43:49,710
‪别人写下了他的长相
‪然后我妈给裱了起来

678
00:43:51,295 --> 00:43:54,548
‪我上前看一眼 说
‪“长得真像他”

679
00:43:56,091 --> 00:44:00,262
‪我长得特别像他
‪我妈去世后它就是我的

680
00:44:01,347 --> 00:44:02,514
‪总之

681
00:44:03,182 --> 00:44:05,184
‪总之 我爸爸无法工作

682
00:44:05,267 --> 00:44:09,021
‪于是我妈妈会工作
‪然后我父亲在家陪我们

683
00:44:09,104 --> 00:44:10,439
‪这只是铺垫

684
00:44:11,815 --> 00:44:12,858
‪我在给你们铺垫

685
00:44:12,941 --> 00:44:14,943
‪因为我要讲接下来发生的事

686
00:44:16,820 --> 00:44:19,948
‪我九岁的时候 镇里有个人死了

687
00:44:20,032 --> 00:44:21,617
‪我得去参加葬礼

688
00:44:21,700 --> 00:44:25,162
‪因为我爸老想蹭免费的事情干

689
00:44:27,164 --> 00:44:28,374
‪没错 我没开玩笑

690
00:44:28,457 --> 00:44:29,375
‪我爸最爱做的事

691
00:44:29,458 --> 00:44:31,960
‪是去给我们买一袋汉堡王的派

692
00:44:32,044 --> 00:44:34,505
‪然后把我们带到殡仪馆

693
00:44:34,588 --> 00:44:36,590
‪看几场早场秀

694
00:44:38,676 --> 00:44:40,302
‪那个年代你还可以在葬礼后排吃东西

695
00:44:40,386 --> 00:44:42,346
‪法律还没有禁止

696
00:44:44,807 --> 00:44:49,478
‪总之 我爸还得给我弄一套西装
‪我第一次参加葬礼

697
00:44:49,561 --> 00:44:50,979
‪他得给我弄一套西装

698
00:44:52,147 --> 00:44:56,318
‪当时正好快到万圣节了
‪他给我买了一套阴间大法师的戏服

699
00:44:58,278 --> 00:45:00,447
‪不是为了搞笑

700
00:45:00,531 --> 00:45:03,909
‪这是个79岁的老头在买一套西装

701
00:45:04,410 --> 00:45:08,080
‪他来到药房便利店
‪看见那套时尚的连体西装

702
00:45:09,540 --> 00:45:11,792
‪他心想：“我儿子最近很乖”

703
00:45:11,875 --> 00:45:14,837
‪“我就给他买这件
‪11块钱的精选西装吧 怎么样”

704
00:45:16,338 --> 00:45:20,426
‪于是快进到
‪我来到真的葬礼现场了

705
00:45:23,345 --> 00:45:25,806
‪真的有人死了

706
00:45:27,641 --> 00:45:30,436
‪而我穿着阴间大法师的戏服

707
00:45:32,729 --> 00:45:36,400
‪西装 肩膀上还有蜘蛛网

708
00:45:39,153 --> 00:45:41,947
‪接下来的一幕才真的让当地人不爽

709
00:45:42,781 --> 00:45:45,826
‪不知道各位有没有参加过葬礼

710
00:45:45,909 --> 00:45:47,661
‪或者有没有

711
00:45:48,162 --> 00:45:50,205
‪见过死人 不过

712
00:45:51,707 --> 00:45:53,250
‪有一个特别的瞬间

713
00:45:53,333 --> 00:45:55,502
‪如果你从没见过遗体
‪你可以去看一眼

714
00:45:55,586 --> 00:45:57,546
‪你可以去瞄一眼
‪你懂我意思吗

715
00:45:57,629 --> 00:46:00,132
‪你可以看到遗体

716
00:46:00,215 --> 00:46:01,633
‪就还挺酷的 真的

717
00:46:01,717 --> 00:46:04,761
‪就像有机会进行一次地下交易

718
00:46:04,845 --> 00:46:08,056
‪我一听说
‪我就抢着跑去排队了

719
00:46:09,308 --> 00:46:13,061
‪死者的妈妈在我跟前
‪死者的爸爸在我身后

720
00:46:13,854 --> 00:46:16,732
‪而我 是阴间大法师

721
00:46:22,404 --> 00:46:25,032
‪于是我手足无措 到我上前瞻仰了

722
00:46:25,115 --> 00:46:27,910
‪于是我开始向人们挥手

723
00:46:29,578 --> 00:46:31,580
‪迈开了舞步

724
00:46:36,335 --> 00:46:38,045
‪展示我的强项

725
00:46:38,962 --> 00:46:41,757
‪我没注意到的是 我在上面的时候

726
00:46:41,840 --> 00:46:44,343
‪我西服背后有一把刀

727
00:46:51,767 --> 00:46:54,269
‪而那名死者是被刀捅死的

728
00:47:01,652 --> 00:47:02,945
‪世界真小啊

729
00:47:11,870 --> 00:47:13,080
‪谢谢

730
00:47:13,163 --> 00:47:14,581
‪谢谢你们成为我生命的一部分

731
00:47:14,665 --> 00:47:16,333
‪谢谢你们欢迎我来到你们的城市

732
00:47:16,416 --> 00:47:19,086
‪也谢谢你们支持我的播客

733
00:47:20,420 --> 00:47:21,547
‪天啊

734
00:47:22,673 --> 00:47:25,717
‪我很感激 谢谢你们
‪我很感动

735
00:47:27,052 --> 00:47:29,054
‪希望能够弥补你们每一位

736
00:47:30,097 --> 00:47:32,140
‪我应该还会回来的

737
00:47:33,016 --> 00:47:34,726
‪我应该非回不可了

738
00:47:35,894 --> 00:47:37,437
‪该死 我不该那么说

739
00:47:39,231 --> 00:47:41,024
‪我想谢谢支持我播客的各位

740
00:47:41,108 --> 00:47:43,819
‪我们为《单亲母亲放个假》
‪节目做了很多

741
00:47:43,902 --> 00:47:46,655
‪我们会继续努力的
‪非常感谢你们

742
00:47:49,700 --> 00:47:51,368
‪谢谢大家
‪我想给你们讲个故事

743
00:47:51,451 --> 00:47:56,248
‪我认识的人里面最勤奋的人
‪是我母亲

744
00:47:57,916 --> 00:47:59,293
‪没错

745
00:47:59,376 --> 00:48:00,377
‪是真的

746
00:48:00,460 --> 00:48:01,753
‪有一回

747
00:48:01,837 --> 00:48:05,090
‪我童年中最棒的一次 是我母亲在
‪电台节目上赢得了一次免费烫发

748
00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:09,219
‪对 她一举夺魁

749
00:48:11,179 --> 00:48:13,473
‪镇里另一家人说他们赢了

750
00:48:13,557 --> 00:48:15,559
‪“老娘赢了”

751
00:48:17,477 --> 00:48:20,230
‪他们甚至一路跑过来跟我们吵架

752
00:48:21,189 --> 00:48:23,775
‪他们开了一辆面包车过来
‪那位女士下车就说

753
00:48:23,859 --> 00:48:25,694
‪“头发给我拉直”

754
00:48:26,653 --> 00:48:28,697
‪“我妈都烫完了”

755
00:48:28,780 --> 00:48:31,283
‪“给我拉回去”

756
00:48:31,366 --> 00:48:33,327
‪“我才不跟你平分一个发型呢”

757
00:48:35,203 --> 00:48:39,333
‪然后他们叫我们见鬼去

758
00:48:39,416 --> 00:48:43,211
‪回到面包车里准备离开
‪然后车子打不着火了

759
00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:46,840
‪这就是我老家的缩影

760
00:48:46,923 --> 00:48:49,968
‪一帮人相互攻击

761
00:48:50,052 --> 00:48:52,596
‪却全都无处可去

762
00:48:57,100 --> 00:48:59,019
‪阿门 你们也是

763
00:49:02,230 --> 00:49:04,149
‪于是我妈烫了头

764
00:49:04,816 --> 00:49:08,570
‪那个发型太蓬了 超蓬

765
00:49:09,321 --> 00:49:10,447
‪她甚至连

766
00:49:10,530 --> 00:49:12,658
‪她甚至连头都转不了一下

767
00:49:13,492 --> 00:49:15,285
‪“快睡觉”

768
00:49:15,827 --> 00:49:19,081
‪“快睡觉！我好美！”

769
00:49:22,668 --> 00:49:24,252
‪她确实很美

770
00:49:25,796 --> 00:49:27,673
‪我从未见过我妈妈打扮的样子

771
00:49:27,756 --> 00:49:30,300
‪直到那天她赢了比赛回到家

772
00:49:30,384 --> 00:49:32,094
‪我以前从未见到她打扮

773
00:49:32,177 --> 00:49:33,553
‪我从没见过

774
00:49:33,637 --> 00:49:34,805
‪从我记事起她每天都在工作

775
00:49:34,888 --> 00:49:36,932
‪每一天都去上班

776
00:49:37,015 --> 00:49:40,560
‪有时我会看见她下班回家

777
00:49:40,644 --> 00:49:44,398
‪但我从没有看过她打扮好的样子

778
00:49:44,481 --> 00:49:47,234
‪倒不是说她作为女人

779
00:49:47,317 --> 00:49:49,903
‪必须得怎么打扮

780
00:49:50,987 --> 00:49:54,741
‪只是我从没见她眼神中流露出

781
00:49:54,825 --> 00:49:57,577
‪被人关心过的样子

782
00:49:57,661 --> 00:50:00,747
‪我记得那天看到她回家的样子时
‪我对自己说

783
00:50:00,831 --> 00:50:04,960
‪“妈妈赢了一次免费烫头！
‪一切皆有可能！”

784
00:50:05,919 --> 00:50:08,004
‪我要去鱼缸里拉屎了

785
00:50:11,466 --> 00:50:12,843
‪鱼都去死

786
00:50:14,177 --> 00:50:16,638
‪咱是陆地动物帮 我恨死鱼了

787
00:50:17,347 --> 00:50:19,891
‪鱼要是想干啥 那就上岸来干啊

788
00:50:19,975 --> 00:50:23,478
‪成天在水底下冒泡 一帮弱鸡

789
00:50:23,562 --> 00:50:24,855
‪水中弱鸡

790
00:50:26,314 --> 00:50:27,315
‪对不起 哥们

791
00:50:29,359 --> 00:50:31,570
‪我很抱歉 刚才那段不该说的

792
00:50:33,697 --> 00:50:36,783
‪但妈妈赢了一次免费烫头
‪当时的电视上

793
00:50:36,867 --> 00:50:39,202
‪在播一条“大查理座椅”的广告

794
00:50:39,828 --> 00:50:42,247
‪这是个公司

795
00:50:42,330 --> 00:50:44,708
‪他们卖的是座椅 椅子

796
00:50:46,209 --> 00:50:48,754
‪广告里说：“在您舒适的家中”

797
00:50:48,837 --> 00:50:51,131
‪“坐最舒适的椅子”

798
00:50:52,048 --> 00:50:56,678
‪然后“双重舒适”几个字
‪就会在屏幕上闪烁

799
00:50:57,679 --> 00:50:59,973
‪在我们美国可从来没见过双重舒适

800
00:51:01,016 --> 00:51:02,267
‪记得吗

801
00:51:02,809 --> 00:51:05,729
‪那个年代我们只有一重舒适

802
00:51:06,480 --> 00:51:09,941
‪不也挺好的
‪我们也挺舒适

803
00:51:11,067 --> 00:51:14,529
‪然后某些时髦玩意跑过来

804
00:51:15,113 --> 00:51:17,365
‪说他要把舒适“加倍”

805
00:51:18,366 --> 00:51:20,744
‪教会知道这事吗

806
00:51:21,953 --> 00:51:24,539
‪因为这听上去有点像黑魔法哦

807
00:51:31,379 --> 00:51:32,631
‪谢谢

808
00:51:33,131 --> 00:51:35,550
‪但电视上这人看着挺靠谱

809
00:51:35,634 --> 00:51:38,386
‪你知道吧 身上喷点水
‪看着满头大汗的

810
00:51:39,137 --> 00:51:41,056
‪哥们看着挺靠谱

811
00:51:41,139 --> 00:51:43,308
‪穿着11件套西装

812
00:51:43,934 --> 00:51:46,520
‪两件中每个口袋都塞着鸡腿

813
00:51:46,603 --> 00:51:48,814
‪你懂我意思吧 他作弊

814
00:51:50,106 --> 00:51:53,068
‪他在广告里看着挺靠谱

815
00:51:53,151 --> 00:51:55,821
‪然后会说 “请拨打以下热线电话”

816
00:51:55,904 --> 00:51:57,739
‪“我将送椅子上门”

817
00:51:57,823 --> 00:52:00,951
‪“并证明椅子有多舒适”

818
00:52:02,202 --> 00:52:04,746
‪于是 这男的看上去很勤劳
‪我母亲也很勤劳

819
00:52:04,830 --> 00:52:07,916
‪我心想 我要打热线电话
‪叫他送货上门

820
00:52:07,999 --> 00:52:10,627
‪但我要牵个红线 撮合一下他跟我妈

821
00:52:11,628 --> 00:52:14,172
‪我就要成为家俬大亨的儿子啦

822
00:52:19,886 --> 00:52:23,098
‪于是我打电话过去
‪一位越南女子接起了电话

823
00:52:24,140 --> 00:52:27,561
‪我觉得是 我也不知道

824
00:52:28,186 --> 00:52:32,065
‪也可能是个同志哥们岔气了

825
00:52:34,276 --> 00:52:36,736
‪我想公平一点而已

826
00:52:36,820 --> 00:52:40,699
‪“大查理四至六周送货上门”

827
00:52:42,409 --> 00:52:43,869
‪有点危险

828
00:52:45,579 --> 00:52:48,790
‪我说：“四至六周？” 这很模糊啊

829
00:52:49,666 --> 00:52:50,959
‪但我们愿意等

830
00:52:52,127 --> 00:52:54,546
‪只不过我不知道烫好的头能维持多久

831
00:52:55,630 --> 00:52:58,925
‪我妈从没烫过头
‪我们有两只猫 还有

832
00:53:00,677 --> 00:53:02,345
‪一份杂志订阅

833
00:53:03,930 --> 00:53:06,016
‪那种只用花四块钱

834
00:53:06,099 --> 00:53:08,059
‪就能收到30本杂志和一场起诉
‪的订阅服务

835
00:53:12,981 --> 00:53:14,065
‪我们订的是那种

836
00:53:15,984 --> 00:53:17,527
‪他们说四至六周

837
00:53:17,611 --> 00:53:18,904
‪于是我就在夜晚祈祷

838
00:53:18,987 --> 00:53:22,407
‪“现在我躺下睡觉
‪祈祷卷卷不会直掉”

839
00:53:23,867 --> 00:53:26,745
‪因为需要妈妈的卷发缠绕住红线啊

840
00:53:27,704 --> 00:53:28,705
‪你试试

841
00:53:28,788 --> 00:53:31,791
‪两次赢得电台免费烫头的家庭
‪你能数出六个吗

842
00:53:37,172 --> 00:53:38,590
‪没想到吧

843
00:53:40,592 --> 00:53:43,595
‪三周后的一天 我妹妹在楼上大叫

844
00:53:43,678 --> 00:53:47,223
‪她说：“西奥 有人找你”

845
00:53:47,766 --> 00:53:49,267
‪“去你的”

846
00:53:51,102 --> 00:53:52,938
‪她是射手座

847
00:53:54,981 --> 00:53:59,069
‪我当时在房间里
‪大概正在研究我的身体

848
00:54:02,447 --> 00:54:05,492
‪每次都研究同一个部位

849
00:54:06,743 --> 00:54:08,119
‪我是说

850
00:54:09,120 --> 00:54:12,624
‪我应该在简历上写“差劲科学家”

851
00:54:14,793 --> 00:54:19,214
‪我一路狂奔下楼

852
00:54:19,714 --> 00:54:21,591
‪心想

853
00:54:22,258 --> 00:54:26,930
‪这也许是我最后一次踩这些地面了

854
00:54:27,973 --> 00:54:32,185
‪因为等我撮合成了我妈跟大椅子查理

855
00:54:32,268 --> 00:54:36,606
‪我们家会有超多椅子

856
00:54:37,565 --> 00:54:40,568
‪这些地面也许就再也见不到了

857
00:54:40,652 --> 00:54:44,239
‪我以后一起床就踩上我的新床头柜

858
00:54:44,322 --> 00:54:46,992
‪再踩上我的双人沙发
‪再踩上我的豪华躺椅

859
00:54:47,075 --> 00:54:48,994
‪再踩上我的长沙发
‪再踩上我的贵妃凳

860
00:54:49,077 --> 00:54:52,956
‪再踩上我的脚凳和脚凳和脚凳
‪然后我就到门外了

861
00:54:56,418 --> 00:54:59,462
‪地板是属于穷人的

862
00:55:01,339 --> 00:55:05,468
‪我来到门口 回头看见我妈

863
00:55:05,552 --> 00:55:07,804
‪她一副“谁啊”的样子

864
00:55:08,513 --> 00:55:10,807
‪我说：“快披件好点的袍子”

865
00:55:11,349 --> 00:55:13,226
‪“带口袋的那件”

866
00:55:20,191 --> 00:55:22,777
‪头上的卷还挺卷
‪虽然不是特别卷

867
00:55:23,445 --> 00:55:25,947
‪大概就还算卷的

868
00:55:27,532 --> 00:55:31,411
‪不是那种“晚宴卷”
‪差不多是“赌场自助餐卷”

869
00:55:34,748 --> 00:55:37,459
‪然后我打开门
‪一眼就看见那张椅子

870
00:55:39,377 --> 00:55:42,005
‪看上去像是六张甩卖椅子

871
00:55:42,088 --> 00:55:43,673
‪拼出来的一样

872
00:55:44,758 --> 00:55:46,301
‪垃圾一个

873
00:55:47,177 --> 00:55:48,887
‪真的是垃圾

874
00:55:50,805 --> 00:55:52,891
‪于是我开始找大椅子查理

875
00:55:53,516 --> 00:55:54,976
‪他根本就没来

876
00:55:56,227 --> 00:55:58,480
‪只有两个成年拉拉站在那儿

877
00:56:00,315 --> 00:56:02,525
‪其中一个发型跟我一模一样

878
00:56:04,486 --> 00:56:07,405
‪于是我说：“物以类聚啊”

879
00:56:12,368 --> 00:56:14,412
‪我终于找到同类了

880
00:56:15,830 --> 00:56:18,249
‪两位美人将椅子

881
00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:20,752
‪搬进了屋里

882
00:56:21,586 --> 00:56:23,880
‪她们把椅子放在客厅里

883
00:56:23,963 --> 00:56:26,257
‪让我妈坐在上面

884
00:56:26,341 --> 00:56:29,677
‪椅子侧面有个把手

885
00:56:29,761 --> 00:56:34,432
‪你越扳它 椅子就越舒适

886
00:56:35,183 --> 00:56:38,061
‪最后你就失业了

887
00:56:42,273 --> 00:56:46,319
‪她们叫我妈坐下 她扳了一下 两下

888
00:56:46,402 --> 00:56:49,114
‪扳第三下的时候 整个椅背

889
00:56:49,197 --> 00:56:51,658
‪直接掉下来了

890
00:56:52,450 --> 00:56:55,411
‪我妈直接越过失业

891
00:56:55,495 --> 00:56:57,580
‪直达伤残

892
00:56:59,874 --> 00:57:02,460
‪但正当她要摔到头的时候
‪我对天发誓

893
00:57:02,544 --> 00:57:05,213
‪她的卷发把她整个人弹了起来

894
00:57:05,296 --> 00:57:08,424
‪就⋯

895
00:57:08,925 --> 00:57:11,427
‪就仿佛阎王投出了一个快速球

896
00:57:11,511 --> 00:57:15,306
‪但老天恰是接球手啊

897
00:57:19,519 --> 00:57:21,229
‪我母亲把我们踢出了家门

898
00:57:21,855 --> 00:57:23,815
‪我和两个美丽的成年拉拉

899
00:57:23,898 --> 00:57:25,775
‪然后我们在院子里撞胸庆祝

900
00:57:27,444 --> 00:57:29,654
‪她们想要撞的 兄弟 我还未成年

901
00:57:34,075 --> 00:57:36,202
‪然后她们穿过我们街区开走了

902
00:57:38,955 --> 00:57:41,749
‪说实在的 我不喜欢我们家的街区

903
00:57:42,500 --> 00:57:43,877
‪我不喜欢住在那儿

904
00:57:44,544 --> 00:57:46,045
‪也不喜欢探索那儿

905
00:57:46,671 --> 00:57:49,048
‪那儿都不是一个探索起来安全的地方

906
00:57:49,132 --> 00:57:53,386
‪我们街上有一家子叫哈弗斯

907
00:57:53,928 --> 00:57:57,056
‪生了11个孩子 一件衣服也没有

908
00:57:58,349 --> 00:58:01,352
‪逢年过节 他家儿子
‪就在胳膊上穿条裤子

909
00:58:04,272 --> 00:58:06,774
‪但这无知的一家子
‪其实是不幸的一家子

910
00:58:07,275 --> 00:58:10,028
‪这不幸的一家子
‪干了一件最聪明的事情

911
00:58:10,695 --> 00:58:12,113
‪我见过干得最聪明的事情

912
00:58:12,197 --> 00:58:14,365
‪他们不知从哪儿弄了个停车让行牌

913
00:58:16,326 --> 00:58:18,536
‪谁知道上哪儿弄的呢

914
00:58:19,496 --> 00:58:21,247
‪现在可能已经是个车祸纪念地了

915
00:58:24,667 --> 00:58:26,669
‪车祸守恒嘛

916
00:58:29,214 --> 00:58:30,507
‪然后

917
00:58:32,884 --> 00:58:35,094
‪他们把停车牌直接插在了路边

918
00:58:35,178 --> 00:58:38,181
‪这儿是他们家门前的路 对吧

919
00:58:38,264 --> 00:58:41,142
‪你正开着车呢 你开着车 开车的你

920
00:58:41,226 --> 00:58:43,228
‪你看见一个停车让行牌 你停了车

921
00:58:43,978 --> 00:58:46,064
‪但这儿也不是路口啊

922
00:58:46,856 --> 00:58:49,067
‪只有他们家的房子

923
00:58:49,692 --> 00:58:53,780
‪你正纳闷呢
‪“我到底在让什么啊”

924
00:58:53,863 --> 00:58:56,491
‪他们家的几个大孩子
‪会出来向你兜售毒品

925
00:58:58,117 --> 00:59:00,745
‪地段永远是重中之重

926
00:59:02,455 --> 00:59:05,375
‪你要是以为自己在让行时不会买毒品

927
00:59:05,458 --> 00:59:06,834
‪你还不够了解自己

928
00:59:09,629 --> 00:59:11,339
‪那两位美丽的成年拉拉
‪在那儿停下了车

929
00:59:11,422 --> 00:59:13,132
‪买了两袋毒品

930
00:59:14,050 --> 00:59:16,261
‪一周后就搬来了我们街区

931
00:59:16,803 --> 00:59:18,638
‪然后在未来十年里

932
00:59:18,721 --> 00:59:20,598
‪跟我猜大约11个人的母亲

933
00:59:20,682 --> 00:59:22,058
‪上过床

934
00:59:23,643 --> 00:59:25,436
‪如果那都不算“双重舒适”

935
00:59:27,855 --> 00:59:29,440
‪我不知道什么算了

936
00:59:30,567 --> 00:59:32,610
‪我是西奥冯 十分感谢大家

937
00:59:33,528 --> 00:59:35,989
‪谢谢你纳什维尔
‪我欠你们一个 我爱你们

938
00:59:36,072 --> 00:59:38,116
‪十分感谢你们成为我生命的一部分

939
00:59:38,658 --> 00:59:40,994
‪非常感谢 谢谢你们来

940
01:00:45,767 --> 01:00:49,103
‪字幕翻译 : 徐姣