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Joey, come 'ere.
I see you.
Bobby, this is my good friend Joey.
Tommy, Carter, get over here.
Get over here, come get your.
There's so many.
Hey, Vinny, get over here.
Hey!
Come on now, cheers to Mama.
- Cheers to Mama! - Cheers to Mama!
Hey, hey! - Cheers to Mama.
♪ There's an itch I can't scratch through my wrist ♪
♪ Oh, just relax ♪
♪ I must have forgotten ♪
♪ The knife was in my hands ♪
♪ My hands ♪
-This is it.
Here's your new life.
-Hmm.
-This is your new garden.
This is your new bathroom.
This is your new bedroom.
So...
Okay, so I'm just gonna run through the program guidelines.
First up, your new name, Sarah Jayne Reynolds.
That's Sarah with an H, Jayne with a Y,
Reynolds with an E.
In about three to five months,
you'll get your full documentation,
which includes an ID, credit reports,
detailed personal history.
But until then, just lay low, sit tight.
Don't talk to too many people.
Just keep to yourself.
You won't have any credit cards.
So you have to use cash from here on out.
There's that.
And the very last thing is the key, so.
Welcome to your new home.
Okay?
-But I'm from Youngstown.
-You can't mention Youngstown anymore.
But I'm from Youngstown.
-Did you just mention Youngstown?
I mean...
I'm from Youngstown.
-You are, but you're gonna have to
get a lot better at lying.
Do you know how to lie?
-Um.
-Okay, whatever's true, like that you're from Youngstown,
don't say that.
Just remember not to be who you are,
and you'll be fine. - Okay.
-Okay?
-Mm-hmm.
-So this is the fourth and final relocation.
After this, we can't guarantee your protection.
Okay. I'm gonna go now.
-Hello.
Hi.
Are you new to the neighborhood?
-Yep.
Hi.
-Hi, my name's Joan. What's your name?
-My name is
Sarah.
Um.
Sarah.
-Sarah?
Sarah.
Sarah what?
-Sarah Jayne.
-Sarah Jayne, lovely name. Where are you from originally?
-I'm from Young...
Where?
-Mm, I'm...
-You okay?
-Mm-hmm.
-All right, we'll see ya.
-Hi.
I'm Sarah Jayne Reynolds.
I'm from Youngstown.
I'm not from Youngstown.
Hi, my name's Sarah Jayne Reynolds.
I'm not from Youngstown.
Hello, my name's Sarah Jayne,
and I don't live in Youngstown.
My name's Sarah Jayne Reynolds.
I'm not from Youngstown.
I'm goin' to Youngstown.
♪ Gonna find a car ♪
♪ To suit my needs ♪
♪ Beautiful trucks You got a white truck ♪
♪ Black truck, silver truck, blue truck ♪
♪ Red truck, green truck. ♪
Now we're talkin'. MSRP?
What the hell is MSRP?
This one's got a ton of torque.
I don't know what torque is.
Hi there. How's it goin'?
Hey buddy.
Nice day to be car shoppin'.
My name's Brandon. It's a pleasure to meet you.
All right, how you doin'?
I saw you over here lookin' at the Titans.
We're actually currently running a deal on the Titans.
Yeah, this Titan, these are...
You know, these are beautiful trucks,
but I think I might need a little something smaller.
Okay, have you considered an SUV?
You know, I'm lookin' for a ride.
I'm lookin' for a new ride.
And to be honest, I'm lookin' for a truck.
Okay, okay, not a problem.
So we've got the Titans, which you've already seen.
There's also the single cab, which is a bit smaller,
but there's also the Nissan Frontier,
which comes with both a crew and a king cab.
Frontier, yeah, that sounds good.
Are you familiar with the PRO-4X?
PRO-4X, yeah, I've been lookin' everywhere
for a PRO-4X.
Just wait until you see how this PRO-4X handles.
Now, do you have a particular color in mind?
Um, you know, I'm walking around this area,
and I'm seeing a lot of white trucks.
I'm thinkin' I might wanna go with a white truck.
Okay, a white PRO-4X.
I would love to take one of these babies
out for a spin.
You mind comin' inside for a sec?
Oh yeah, let's do it.
Pretty sure we have some of those.
Let me get some information,
and we'll have one of my boys bring it around front for ya.
All right.
All right, Jim, enjoy that test drive,
and we'll see you in a few minutes.
♪ Jimmy was a little man ♪
♪ With a little hand, little hand ♪
♪ Jimmy was a little man ♪
♪ With a little hand, that's a little hand ♪
♪ Fly away, yeah ♪
♪ I drive in my new truck ♪
♪ Down the road ♪
♪ Jimmy had a little hand ♪
♪ A little hand, little hand ♪
♪ Jimmy had a little hand ♪
♪ What a tiny hand ♪
-Hey ma'am, can you help me out for a second?
What do we have around here in the way of towns?
-Well, you're in Hubbard, Ohio, right now.
-Hubbard, Ohio? Well, what's the biggest town around here?
-Youngstown, Ohio.
-Youngstown? Youngstown, Ohio.
All right, well, I kind of like the sound of that.
Tired of these old sleepy towns.
Yeah.
All right, thank you.
♪ Jimmy had a little hand ♪
♪ A little hand, little hand ♪
-Hey!
-Yeah?
-You're goin' to Youngstown?
-Yes, I'm goin' to Youngstown.
-I'm going to Youngstown.
-Okay, well, I'm definitely going to Youngstown.
-Well, maybe we could go together.
-All right, well, I got a ride.
Hey.
-Yes?
Where are you from?
-I'm from Youngstown.
-You're from Youngstown?
-Born and raised.
-Born and raised in Youngstown?
Born and raised in Youngstown.
-I think you could help me.
-Well, this baby's goin' to Youngstown,
and, uh, maybe you'd like a ride.
All right, let's go.
Another white pickup truck.
Yeah, you like 'em?
Yeah.
Yeah, me too, actually, this truck
has a ton of torque,
the MSRP is incredible, and these, uh,
I don't know, these white trucks,
they just seem to have a little bit better resale value.
They accelerate a little bit faster.
They're a little bit more dependable.
Canfield Fair, what's that?
-Obviously you're not from Youngstown.
-And why is that?
-Everyone from Youngstown knows about the Canfield Fair.
-Okay.
Sure, Canfield Fair, Ferris wheel, funnel cake,
lots of fun, I know the Canfield fair.
So you must be from Youngstown.
-I'm not from Youngstown.
Well, then where are you from?
-Well, I'm part of this program,
and I'm not supposed to tell people that.
-Like the, uh, witness protection program?
-Exactly.
You're in the witness protection program?
-That's right.
-You're definitely not supposed to tell me
that you're in the witness protection program.
-Right? I'm trying to get better at lying.
The only thing I got down so far is I'm not from Youngstown.
-So you are from Youngstown.
-No.
-Okay, you definitely need to get better at lying.
The first thing you need to do
is you need to not tell anybody else
that you're in the witness protection program, okay?
- Right. - Second thing you need to do
is you need to change this whole look.
You're gonna need to go to the salon.
You're gonna need to get your hair done.
You're gonna need to get this whole thing
completely unrecognizable.
Do you think you can do that?
-Yeah, that's some good advice there.
I like the way you think.
-Thank you.
Oh, this is my favorite street.
Belmont Avenue in my favorite street.
I'm so happy to be back here.
What is Monteen's?
Monteen's is the kind of place you go
when it's Friday night,
and you're maybe gonna have a nice dinner.
Oh, Classic Optical, I got my first pair of glasses there.
You wear glasses?
Not anymore.
Goodyear, you can get some tires there.
I know.
That's Arby's, that actually originated
here in Youngstown. - Did it?
It was two brothers.
They're R and a B, and then it was Arby's.
Taco Bell, I got my foot run over in that parking lot.
Wow.
They demolished all that over there. Wow.
That used to be BJ's.
Tim Horton's used to be BJ's.
Great rib spot.
Yeah, I'm gonna pretend that Tim Horton's doesn't exist.
Hmm.
This is a graveyard on the right.
Wow, look at all those headstones.
I know a lot of people in that graveyard,
a lot of family in there.
Oh, Plaza Donuts, donuts and coffee,
they've got both of them there.
Wow, both.
Blue Ribbon dry cleaners
if you need somethin' clean.
Do you need anything cleaned?
No.
Golden Hunan, that is my favorite place
for Chinese food.
Not the original location,
that's a second location right there.
Looks good.
Jimmy's, classic Italian food.
If you need some Italian food, you go to Jimmy's.
Good to know.
- Rally's is new. - That did not used to exist.
Oh, some new things poppin' up.
If you need a jersey,
you just go over to Wharmby Sports.
You need a jersey? - No.
Kravitz Deli, best corned beef you'll ever have.
Kravitz.
That's where the original Hunan was,
right where that AutoZone is.
Hmm.
Jim Rohan Floor Covering,
they will cover your floors like you would not believe.
Nice.
Touch of Class, if you need to look nice,
you go there.
Very nice.
Uptown Pizza, great place for pizza.
Okay.
You like pizza?
It's fine.
Well, you would love their pizza.
So you really know this town.
-Yep, and I'm not from Youngstown.
Okay, pull over at that white sign up there.
Okay.
-You don't know this,
but I know you're not from Youngstown.
-And how do you know that?
-I heard you in the truck stop.
-Huh, interesting.
-Why do you wanna go to Youngstown?
-Big city, prizes, seems like somethin' fun to do.
-Okay.
Meet me at Plaza Donuts in two hours.
-Okay.
-Okay, yeah, right here.
Thanks.
-Hello.
-Welcome to New Dawn Salon and Day Spa. How are you today?
-Mm.
-All right. What can I do for you?
-I need to look a little different.
-A little different?
And what were you thinkin' about doing today?
-What if we dye my hair blonde?
-Blonde? Mm, that would look pretty.
Can I see your hair?
Blonde would look nice.
So to go blonde all over,
we would have to bleach and tone your hair.
-Mm-hmm.
-All-over bleach and tone for your length of hair
would be about $200.
-What if we just do the bangs?
- Just the bangs? - Mm.
-And you wanna do them blonde?
Um, I would say
that we could bleach and tone your bangs for 50.
-Let's do just the bangs.
-Okay, we do have someone available
that could do that for you today.
-Yeah.
-All right, I'll grab her for you.
We have a waiting area over there
that you could go ahead and have a seat,
and she'll be right with you.
Sounds good?
-Hi. How are you?
-I'm good.
-Good, so what are we doin' today?
-We are dying my bangs blonde.
-Your bangs?
-Yeah.
-Okay.
My name's Kelly, by the way. What's yours?
-My name's Sarah Jayne.
-Sarah Jayne? Well, nice to meet you, Sarah Jayne.
Come on over here.
I'll be back for you in 20 minutes.
We're gettin' you pretty blonde, girl.
Just be a few more minutes.
All right, I think we're ready.
Come on over, we'll shampoo you.
What do you think?
-I love it.
-Looks good.
-Thank you.
-Thank you. Have a good day.
- Hey girl. - Hey.
-How'd that go?
-I mean, it was interesting.
-I can tell.
I'm a little concerned about her
and her, "Just do my bangs."
Yeah, it's definitely a different look, so.
Yeah, I hope she's gonna be okay.
Yeah.
-Excellent, unrecognizable.
-Great. I like your outfit too.
-Just got it.
-You want one?
-No, I'm okay.
-I love Plaza Donuts.
I haven't been back here since high school.
-Mm-hmm.
-I miss that place.
The smell of library books, lockers, hallways.
-Okay.
Okay, we can work with that.
Here, come with me.
Come on.
Okay, ever seen these before?
-Yeah.
-Uh, you just might need these now.
-But I can walk just fine.
-No, you can't. Okay?
Now, this is what's known as a visual lie, okay.
There are two types of lies.
There are verbal lies, and there are visual lies, okay?
Now, what travels faster
than the sound of a lie entering your ear hole
is gonna be the look of a lie entering your eyeballs, okay?
You're gonna be walking around on these crutches.
- Okay. - Okay?
People are gonna see you comin' in
so red-hot clankety-clank crutching
that even the sound of the crutching is,
they know that you're crutching
long before they could even possibly even hear it, okay?
This is basic walking.
It looks like it hurts, doesn't it?
-Yeah.
-That's a great visual lie. Okay?
- Okay. - Now,
once you get good enough at these,
you're gonna wanna use these like a new appendage.
You're gonna be at the grocery store.
You're gonna be saying to yourself,
uh, I would love for somebody to reach up
and grab me those sweet cookie bars.
Now, you're gonna reach up,
and you're gonna point and say, "Oh, please,
somebody, do that for me.
Somebody, please bring that down.
I would be so grateful."
Guess what? They're not just gonna hand you the cookies.
They're gonna buy the cookies for you.
They're gonna take you home,
and they're gonna give you a glass of milk
to put the cookies in, okay?
- Wow. - Now, that,
if you can tell a visual lie good enough,
then the verbal lies start pouring out right after that.
- Okay. - Okay?
-So who are we lying to?
Now, what you've gotta do is you've got to go
to a place where people recognize you.
- Okay. - Because if your lies
can convince them, then you can convince anybody.
Okay, I got.
So this is your high school?
Yeah, look at that. Isn't it beautiful?
It's pretty good.
It's the same color outside, you know,
that didn't change.
-All right, here are these beautiful crutches.
This is for you.
You know what to do.
-I mean, yeah. It's easy.
-Remember, what you're doin' in there is visual.
-Okay.
Oh man, it feels great to be back here.
Gosh.
This way.
Love these lockers. They repainted 'em.
They still look really good.
Oh, the clock's the same.
I love it here. It just feels so good.
You know, I feel like I can really breathe again.
You know, we gotta check out the library.
That's where we're gonna go next.
-What happened to you?
-Oh, she, uh, busted her ankle playin' basketball.
-Oh, that sucks. I hope you get better.
-Thanks.
-Basketball. It's that easy.
When we get to the library, you do the next one, okay?
-Okay.
-Hi. Can I help you?
-Yeah.
I was just walkin' down the street, and I saw a squirrel.
So I stopped, and then I looked over,
and there was a banana peel.
I slipped right on it.
-Wow, sorry to hear that.
-Yeah, it's okay though.
It's healing.
-Okay, well, let me know
if there's anything I can do for ya.
-Okay. I love this library.
-Well, thank you.
-Yeah.
Mm.
Lie, a false statement or action,
especially one made with intent to deceive,
anything that gives or is meant to give a false impression.
-Oh, green book, blue book.
Black book, brown book.
Okay, books, books.
So many books.
-Did you find what you were looking for?
-I did, right here.
My yearbook, class of '05.
That's me. - Wow.
Pretty good.
Yeah, got your haircut.
I sure did.
- That's great. - That's it.
-So what brings ya back here?
I, uh, I'm actually just passing through.
Oh wow, where do you live now?
I live in Mission Falls, Wisconsin.
Huh, I don't think I've heard of that.
- Well-- - What do you do there?
-Uh, I actually just opened up a bowling alley.
It's booming.
I have a beautiful three-year-old son. He's great.
His name is Thomas. He's bouncing around like a little baby.
You know what I mean? - Oh, that's great.
This kid just finally got out of diapers.
He's completely potty trained. - Great.
So when I saw this kid gettin' potty trained,
I'm thinkin' to myself,
this kid just took the first step
towards complete independence. - Yeah.
And now I'm sendin' him off
to the bowling alley.
This kid cleans the balls.
This kid's washin' the dirty rags that the bowlers use
when they're wipin' off their hands after greasing 'em up
to stick 'em in the three holes of the bowling balls.
- Oh. - Okay.
And these guys come in with these custom balls,
and my kid loves these custom balls.
Some of 'em have smiley faces on 'em.
Some of 'em have, I don't know,
like a bunch of swirly designs on 'em.
- Wow. - Some of the swirly designs,
I'm talkin' about beautiful things here.
They look like dang tie-dyed T-shirts, okay.
- Is that right? - That's right.
-Well, that's fantastic.
Well, I'm glad you stopped in.
Let me know if there's anything else I can help you with.
-Thank you very much.
- All right, have a good day. - Buh-bye.
Bye.
-Man, he's good.
They totally believed me.
Congratulations, no more crutches.
You've graduated.
Great.
But you know,
with great lies comes great responsibility.
Yeah. Did I tell you these ribs are to die for?
-You did.
A full rack in 10 minutes, that's pretty good for me.
-I told you, to die for.
-Look at this construction site over here.
That's a 20-man crew. That's a big operation.
They're puttin' somethin' big up in here.
This is gonna be a new hotspot. I can feel it.
-I've always loved this area.
-Somethin' big is comin' up.
-Yeah?
-Yeah, you like this area. People like this area.
It's cyclical.
Now we're fed, there anything else to do around here?
-Oh yeah, there's a million things to do in Youngstown.
It's really action-packed place.
This neighborhood is amazing. Look at these houses.
Beautiful, I'd love to have one of these houses.
-Yeah, these houses
are pretty good. - Man, look at that garden.
-Beautiful flowers, beautiful color, like a dirty green.
-Yeah, dirty green.
-Hey, what do you see right here?
That one's for sale.
By owner, okay.
Not by professionals. - Okay.
-Now, these homeowners, they don't know
how to sell houses. - Right.
-They have no idea what they're doing.
A professional would get in there,
make a million phone calls,
sell that house 25% over market value,
make this homeowner a ton of money.
Now, I look at this house, and I see a ton of potential.
- Yeah. - But this homeowner's
gonna sell this house, no way.
This guy put his phone number out here.
He doesn't know what he's doing.
You gotta make calls, not receive calls.
I mean, come on, look at that big, beautiful brown house.
Now, I don't make the rules.
- Yeah. - But from the moment
that for sale sign went onto that lawn,
there is a grace period where anybody can go in.
-Mm.
-Hmm?
-What are you talkin' about?
Okay, come on.
I'm talking about getting in there, setting up shop,
helping these good people out by selling their house.
These people need help, okay, and we can do that.
-So do you think they left a key for us or something or-
-Maybe.
Well, that's locked, no key.
- Okay. - Great shrubs.
Great mulch.
Nice garage for a nice white truck.
Okay.
- Oh wow. - Okay, okay.
So they just left it unlocked for us.
Well, they left it unlocked
because of the grace period.
Oh.
Okay. - You know,
these people know what they're doin'.
-Whoa.
I mean, that is such a great thing.
-I know.
Youngstown really knows
how to treat a person, huh?
Love that.
-Wow, I'm finally home.
-Okay, don't forget, we gotta sell this thing.
Oh my god, you gotta see this upstairs.
It's like a tiny little room, but it's great.
Ooh, let me check that out.
Okay, choose your room.
Oh, yeah, this one's my room, the one downstairs.
That's my bedroom.
Okay, I got this upstairs.
This is where I'm gonna be sleeping,
and you're probably not allowed up here.
-I love Youngstown.
These are the kind of mornings I'm talking about.
It's pleasant.
The sun is shining.
I finally feel like myself.
-Blue skies.
- Yeah. - Oh, look at
that barbell cloud.
Whoa.
I would love to see, like, a giant pump that.
Yeah, that would be, that would be amazing.
That would be cool.
See him start to sweat 'cause he's pumping it so hard,
and then it rains.
-Yeah, it's a great day. Wow.
Beautiful day.
I love it here.
-This is a great neighborhood.
-It's a great neighborhood. The air here is better.
-Pretty good.
-It's excellent.
-Yeah.
This is a great kid.
-That's a great kid.
- I love his look. - Yeah.
He's got this classic kid look.
- Yeah. - You know?
He's probably really friendly.
Right.
This kid knows how to ride a bicycle.
You got that right.
This is the kind of neighborhood
I'm talkin' about.
- Yeah, kids on bikes. - Yeah.
This is truly a great kid.
-Yeah, this kid's great. I mean, we have to say hello.
Howdy, neighbor!
It's pretty, pretty outside, huh?
-Did you just move in here?
-Yes, and we love this house.
Yeah.
-My best friend used to live here.
Well, what if we're your new best friend?
-You're too old to be my best friend.
-Well, this is Youngstown, baby.
Ain't nobody too old around here.
-Okay.
Do you think we could really be his best friend?
We could be anybody's best friend.
-To be honest, knowing that that kid
is in this neighborhood
makes me feel really good.
-Yeah.
Wow!
It's just a bee.
-Hmm.
-We got a potential buyer.
-Hi, I was just in the neighborhood here and...
Um, oh.
Hi, howdy, how are ya?
Would you like a tour of this house? It's beautiful inside.
- One second. - I would love
to give you a tour.
-One second.
Yeah, uh, somebody just came out of the house here
offering to give me a tour.
And who, who are you, honey?
-We are the professionals selling this house.
-She said that they were the professionals,
and they're sellin' the house.
I'm not understandin'.
I see.
-There are things about this house
that you really can't see until you go right on in there,
so if you get in there- -Okay, honey, he just told me
that you weren't supposed to be here, so what, what
kind of operation is this? - There's a grace period
where the house is open,
and you can live there. - Wait a minute,
wait a minute, she said that there's
a grace period. - So that's what we did.
And we're selling this- -Grace period's over!
- What, what, hold on. - What do you mean?
-Um, um, you know what- -Time to go!
-Okay, um, enjoy the house.
It was lovely meeting you.
- Get in this truck. - Is the house still for sale?
-Wait, what do you mean the grace period's over?
It just ended.
-I loved talking to you!
- I see. - Congratulations.
You just sold your first house.
-Tell me more about this, uh, grace period.
They mentioned something about a grace period.
So she's gonna buy that house, you think?
Oh, I know a buyer when I see a buyer.
She's already probably signing the paperwork as we speak.
Oh, okay.
I really love that house.
So what else do you like to do in this town?
Oh, well, there's my best friend's house.
Okay, what's your best friend like?
She's nice, smart, and funny.
She's a friend of the family.
Hmm, nice, smart, and funny.
Well, I would love to meet her.
Okay.
Isn't Lala's house great?
You said her name is Lala?
Yeah, Lala.
Well, how do you and this Lala know each other?
Oh, her parents died in a car bomb.
Car bomb?
Yeah, so my great-grandmother took her in.
She was like a sister to my mother.
She's been my best friend my entire life.
Car bomb? Ooh-la-la.
Come on, you're gonna love her.
I believe that.
-What are you guys talkin' about?
-She asked if you were my boyfriend.
-She did?
-Now, I want you to tell her that you're not my type.
-Mm-hmm.
-But that she definitely is my type.
And whatever language it is you guys are talkin' in,
I want you to say that with the utmost sincerity.
-I speak English, and thanks for the compliment,
but I like men a little more mature.
Let's go have a drink. Come on.
Anybody wants coffee and Kahlua?
So what are you doing in Youngstown?
-Went to the salon, sold a house,
been walkin' on crutches.
-Crutches? You're not hurt, are you?
-No. I've been practicing lying.
-Well, good, because you are
a terrible liar. - Yeah.
-You're not going to Canfield Fair, are you?
-No.
I'm thinkin' about movin' back here though.
I would like to see you more,
but what would you do in Youngstown?
-Mm, Bob offered me a job.
-Really?
Yeah.
-Bob?
-Yeah.
Really?
-Yeah.
-Well, just be safe.
-Okay.
-And cheers to Mama.
-To Mama.
To Mama.
Oh, we got it.
That was-- - I'm sorry.
-I already, you know what- -I'm sorry.
- The funny thing-- - I'm sorry.
-If I didn't know- -Because I would've said-
- I would've believed you. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
You were as stuffed as I was, I was.
Oh, it was so nice to see.
So where are you off to now?
-Mm, we're gonna go see Bob.
-Well, tell Bob Lala says hi.
-Okay, I'll tell him Lala says hi.
Okay, bye. - Bye.
Bye, honey.
-Such a pleasure.
-Bye.
-Okay.
Can I kiss you right now?
-Well, the real man isn't gonna ask.
-You're the best.
-Bye.
-This place is really fun. I grew up here.
-You grew up here?
Yeah, just playin' around in the scraps.
You played around in scraps growin' up?
Yeah, it's a scrapyard.
These machines, they're huge. - Yeah.
-There's so many different things to look at.
Huh, that's a big, beautiful crane.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, check that out.
They're goin' up a huge conveyor belt.
Sorting metals.
They got these claws, you see.
The purpose of a claw is to grab the metal,
crunch the metal, toss the metal onto the huge heap?
Yeah.
And you make a ton of money like that?
Yeah.
Okay, now we're talkin'.
So what was that cheers to Mama. Who's Mama?
She's my great-grandmother.
She's my favorite person in the whole entire world.
-Wow, big compliment, and who...
What is all this stuff about Bob? Who's Bob?
He's a friend of the family.
This is his scrapyard?
Yeah, this is Bob's place.
And we're here to see Bob
'cause Bob offered you a job?
Yeah, Bob offered me a job.
You think Bob would offer me a job?
Probably, Bob is really nice.
I don't want a real job,
just somethin' I could do for like a week.
That'd be cool.
I don't really like
to stick around any jobs too long.
But I'm lookin' around here like, okay,
there's a lot of possibilities here.
I mean, look at that big old pile of metal.
Mm-hmm.
I'd love to collect that, melt that down,
and put it into a giant sword.
Yeah.
You know, you get the fires really boilin',
see that turn into liquid hot magma.
-Oh yeah, Bob's gonna love you.
This guy is great. He's wonderful.
Hey Bob.
-I can't believe you showed up here!
-You offered me a job.
-That was a lifetime ago.
You just being here is jeopardizing my whole business.
-But Bob.
-But Bob, what?
After what you did, there is no way
I would hire little Innocent Isabella.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You are Innocent Isabella Domenico, the legendary rat?
-Yeah.
-Your father is the Icebox Killer?
-Mm-hmm.
-Your mother is the Red Widow, Fat Ethyl?
-Yeah, yeah.
-Your uncle is Flat Top?
-Mm-hmm.
-Your brother is Jackie Tonsils?
-Yeah.
-And you're telling me that your cousin is Kissable John?
Yeah.
-And you're telling me that your other cousin
is Moving Company Mary?
-Yeah.
-Your aunt is Lazy Susan?
-Yeah.
- Your uncle, Jackie Red Lips. - Mm-hmm.
-The creator of the most legendary red sauce.
-Yes.
-Your grandfather is Childish Steven.
-Yeah.
-So that means that your great-great-great-grandfather
is Turkey Back Jimmy.
-Yeah.
You're telling me right now that
your frickin' adopted brother
is Tickle Me Thomas? - Yes.
Your cousin is Crinkle Cut Jack?
-Yes.
And your brother-in-law is Good Guy Ravioli.
-Yeah.
-Are you telling me right now that your frickin' brother
is Tiny Timmy Tincture, otherwise known as Tinc?
-Uh-huh.
-You, a member of the Domenico family,
the legendary crime family?
-Yeah.
-So that means that your great-grandmother
is Double DD Domenico.
Yeah.
-That's Mama?
-Yes.
-You put your whole family in jail.
Everybody I just mentioned is in prison 'cause of you.
And that's why you're in witness protection,
'cause you named names.
Okay, I, this is too much, I gotta go.
-I just wanna be here, Bob.
-Do you have any idea what Mama went through
to keep you safe?
You have a lot of nerve to come back here.
-Okay.
I can't believe you showed up here.
On July 15th, 1990, in Spencerport, New York-
And what we feel happened was the, uh-
The wall behind the-
-What you drinkin'?
-It's a lager.
-Yum, I love those.
Uh-huh.
-Now, there's like red lagers and dark lagers
and amber lagers and pale lagers.
Do you know what the difference between any of those are?
-Uh, no.
-Well, I do.
It's about density.
It's about purity.
It's about alcohol content.
It's about what's really gonna,
I don't know, hit the taste buds in just the right way.
That's what the difference between all those lagers are,
not just coloration, but flavor, and I don't know.
I just, every time I taste a new lager,
I'm always thinking to myself, like,
how does that compare to the other lagers
I've had in the past? How does that compare to the lagers
that have really knocked me on my butt in the taste buds?
You know what I mean?
That's kind of the thing I'm always looking for
in a place like this.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I love this place,
but their lager selection seems a little bit lacking.
You know what I mean?
-Maybe you should find another place then.
-No, I mean, I love this place,
especially some of these vodkas over here.
One thing that could really help this place out is,
they just don't have the kind of vodka system
that would really work in a place like this,
where they could take some of these bottom-shelf vodkas.
They can put them through a Brita filter
about three or four times.
They're going to taste exactly like top-shelf vodka.
The only difference
between a top-shelf vodka and a bottom-shelf vodka
is filtration, purity,
what's gonna give you a hangover the next day.
That's kind of the thing
that most people don't know about vodkas are, is,
if you just work 'em, tweak 'em a little bit,
you have something that actually is, uh,
really even double, triple, quadruple your money.
And, um, I don't know.
I just kind of like stuff like that.
Do you mind if I, uh...
Could I try your lager?
-Yeah, I mind.
-All right.
-Do I look like a Domenico to you?
Do I look like a Domenico to you?
'Cause I'm a Domenico.
Is that too much for you?
Hey, outta my way.
Domenico comin' through.
Is this too much for you?
Hello.
-You got some tickets?
- Sure do. - How many would you like?
-How many you got?
Oh, I got a lot.
Good, 'cause I need a lot of tickets.
Okay, so it's a dollar a ticket.
Is there a problem here?
What? No.
Just tell me how many tickets you want.
Fine, if you're gonna
make such a big stinkin' deal out of these tickets-
- What? - You can keep 'em.
Wait.
I don't need your stinkin' tickets.
Ma'am.
All right, hold on tight.
It's time to freak out.
- What? - Hey Mom.
Son, what's wrong?
Are you in trouble? - No, I'm not in trouble.
What? Do you need money?
No.
No, no, I don't any money.
What is it then? Where are you?
Are you in jail? - I'm not in jail.
- Are you-- - I'm fine.
I'm in Alabama.
In Alabama? What are-
-Yeah, Birmingham.
-Actually, I do know somebody.
She's extremely well-connected.
She's been showing me around.
Yeah.
Wait, wait, what's her?
-Yeah, and I've been teachin' her some stuff too.
Stuff? What stuff?
-I told her your crutches bit, actually.
Really?
-Yeah, she took to it like a fish to water.
Oh, this makes me so happy,
- so happy. - Yeah.
I might, I might have screwed up yesterday though.
What?
-Yeah, I said some stuff, and
I just took off.
Yeah.
What do you think I should do, Mom?
I should stop thinking about it, and it'll come to me.
♪ And I said, what do you get at the Canfield Fair ♪
♪ You got food and fun from the people down there ♪
♪ The cows are round and the tractors are square ♪
♪ And the chickens are here 'cause it's the Canfield Fair ♪
Onion rings, veggies!
Hot veggies, hot onion rings!
Fried pickles!
Bloomin' onions!
Same rules apply as the professionals.
-Excuse me, miss, could you help me figure out
how to get to this Western Reserve Village over here?
-Sir, you should not be talking to me.
I am a very dangerous person.
-I don't understand. Is there somethin' wrong?
-For your safety, please keep back.
- Okay, okay. - Thank you.
-Just trying to get some directions.
-Stop talkin' to me.
-Geez, you ask a simple question.
Check one, two, three. Check one, two, three.
-Sir, could you come down here?
I can't sit up here?
-Can you come down here now?
-Yes?
-Have you been putting your fingers in the chicken pens?
-No.
-We have a report
of a person fitting your exact description
putting their fingers in the chicken pens
for the past 40 minutes.
-So, so you're telling me
there is somebody roaming these fairgrounds right now
with the exact same great local look,
who has the uncontrollable desire
to stick their finger in a chicken pen
to feel the sensation of the pecking?
Is that right?
-Sir, may I see your hands?
-I...
Show me your hands.
-Okay, that looks...
That's, that's spaghetti sauce.
-Sir, if I see you near the chicken pens again,
I'll be forced to remove you from the fairgrounds.
Do I make myself clear?
-Yes.
-Have a nice day.
-You too.
Check one, two, three. Check one, two, three.
Zero, 35.
Wow, chicken cop.
Chickens didn't get hurt.
I don't know what the big deal is. They were peckin' me.
I'm in trouble? I'm the one that was hurt.
I don't understand.
- Excuse us. - French fries.
Lemonade.
French fries, lemonade, ice cold lemonade.
French fries, lemonade.
Funnel cakes, elephant ears.
Hope you're enjoying a fantastic first evening
of the 2019 Canfield Fair.
We had a beautiful afternoon today.
Temperatures ended up in the mid-70s,
and now it's cooling off quickly.
Eventually, tonight will end up in the mid-50s,
a cool, crisp start to Thursday.
What a beautiful day we have coming up on Thursday,
sunshine most of the day,
temperatures a few degrees below average in the mid-70s,
a dry day on Thursday.
We do have a small risk for a passing shower
in our forecast for Friday.
-Isabella?
Hey.
Hey, where you goin'?
Isabella, come on.
Come on, stop Isabella, stop!
Stay back!
I shouldn't have left you.
No.
Stay away!
-Okay, I'm sorry about yesterday.
I'm too much!
Come on, I came here to find you.
Isabella, come on!
I'm dangerous.
Come on, I'm sorry.
Come on.
I'm dangerous!
-Don't leave the fair. You love the fair!
I'm too much!
Come on, I came to the fair to find you.
No!
-Isabella!
Come on, I shouldn't have-
- No! - Called you a rat.
-Yeah, because I'm not a rat.
-Now, I shouldn't have called you a rat.
Technically, you are a rat.
-I'm not a rat.
Mama asked me to go to the feds.
-Double DD asked you to go to the feds?
Why?
-The family was breakin' all her rules
and doin' really bad stuff.
-Well, that's what you guys do.
You're the Domenicos. You guys do bad stuff.
Even crime families got rules.
And what are these rules?
-No killin' family, no killin' civilians.
No killin' pets, no killin' family pets.
No drugs, no robbing nursing homes,
no drinkin' milk after 3:00 am.
I mean, Mama had a lot of rules,
and they were breakin' all of 'em.
-Well, why doesn't anybody know about this?
Nobody can know, but it's the truth.
-Well, if this is a lie, this is a very convincing lie.
I'm a terrible liar.
-That is true.
But I will tell you, this outfit,
pretty good visual lie.
Thank you.
Come on, let's go back in the fair.
You love the fear. You're not tryin' to leave now.
-Don't you think I'm dangerous to be around?
-And I'm not dangerous to be around?
I'm Mr. In Bed By Nine O'clock?
I don't think so.
Come on, let's get somethin' to eat.
There's gotta be something you like in there.
-The cavatelli is excellent.
-There we go, cavatelli.
Come on.
You do need to try this cavatelli.
-I don't know what that is, but-
- It's pasta.
Like spaghetti?
No, it's like cavatelli.
-Cavatelli and meatball, cavatelli bread bowl,
cavatelli dinner.
Okay, two cavatellis.
I actually don't have any cash.
-I have some cash.
I got it. - Okay, all right.
Yesterday, forget about that. That was so not me.
The one thing I know not to do is ditch a Domenico.
I love that you're a Domenico.
I love that you're Innocent Isabella.
Yeah?
That's a treat for me. That's exciting.
Really?
Yes.
I'm a liability.
I don't care about liability.
I'm a walking liability.
What's the first word in liability? Lie.
That's all I do. That's what I teach you how to do.
You know, I just was a little overwhelmed
to hear that you were a real life Domenico.
Hmm.
Okay, I'm ready.
I'm so ready.
- I'm hot. - I'm red hot.
On your marks, get set, and go!
And we're off to the races, folks.
Look at 'em go, look at 'em go, look at 'em go!
Number 11, number 11's the lucky winner.
I want a corn dog.
I think we should get a corn dog.
I want a corn dog. Can we get a corn dog?
Oh yeah. - You make these
fresh yourself?
Cotton candy.
- Hi. - Hi there.
Could I get a bag of cotton candy, please?
You know, I got a lot of respect
for you coming here.
I know there's a lot of heat on you.
Oh, I'd never miss the Canfield Fair,
food, rides, prizes.
-Hey, speaking of prizes,
I was actually hoping there'd be a few more adult prizes,
like a free car or something.
It's just stuffed animals.
-Mama took me here every year.
-Well, Innocent Isabella and Double DD Domenico
at the Canfield Fair, I love that.
-You know, everyone called me innocent as an insult,
but Mama called me innocent
'cause that's what she loved about me.
-Cheers to Mama.
-To Mama.
I'm very tired.
I haven't felt this bushed...
You know how, like, when you,
after you've eaten, you don't know what hungry feels like.
Mm-hmm.
-It's like, when you're this bushed,
how can you ever not be so bushed.
-Yeah.
-You know, these white trucks are designed to be slept in.
This truck is extremely sleepable.
It's extremely sleepable. I sleep in here.
They make 'em so you can sleep in 'em.
Seat, seat goes back.
This is a great place to sleep.
Well, that was really fun.
Yeah, the fair's always fun.
-You know, I spend most of my time alone.
And, um, you were the first person I met in a long time
where I feel like I don't need to lie to you.
-What's your name?
-My name?
My name is Gary Briggs.
-Gary Briggs.
That's a nice name.
Thank you.
-What are you gonna do today, Gary Briggs?
-You know, I think I'm ready to try
that legendary corned beef from Kravitz Deli.
What about you?
-I think I'm ready too.
-To try the corned beef?
-No.
I'm ready to go to 125 Churchill Hubbard Road.
There's someone I gotta see.
Okay.
Thanks for the ride.
Yeah, of course.
- Hi. - Hi.
How can I help you?
I'm here to see Joe.
Okay, I'll let him know.
You can just take a seat.
Hi, Joe, there's someone here to see ya.
I don't think so. I think it's a walk-in.
Yeah. Okay, sounds good.
Joe will be right out.
Hi, I'm Joe.
- Hi. - Nice to meet ya.
Come on down.
All right, come on in and grab a seat.
All right, how can I help you out today?
-Do you know who I am?
-Not yet.
-I'm Isabella Domenico,
and I'm here to get the money Mama left me.
-Mama?
-Mama.
-Okay, I'll get that money transferred over
from the family's off-shore bank account right now.
-Corned beef. You said it, Jack.
Hi Gary.
Well, if it isn't Innocent Isabella.
-I'm thinkin' about leaving Youngstown.
-That's amazing. I just had the exact same thought.
-Hmm.
What's the MSRP on this white truck?
-Extremely good.
-I thought so.
You know, Mama always said,
it's good to keep a liar around you can trust.
-Well, full disclosure,
I'm still on a test drive with this truck.
It's not technically mine.
-That's not a problem.
So what did you mean
when you said it's not a problem?
I mean it's not a problem.
So you're saying it's taken care of?
I didn't say it's taken care of.
I said it's not a problem.
So you are telling me that it's not a problem.
I'm telling you it's not a problem.
Well, then I guess it's not a problem.
Hi, ma'am. How can I help ya?
You see that white truck out there?
- Yeah, the PRO-4X. - That's a beautiful truck.
How much do you want for it?
Well, I'd have to check the MSRP.
I'm ready to buy it right now, cash.
Let's leave out the paperwork.
Beautiful.
♪ I'll be livin' till the day I die ♪
♪ I'll be on the horizon proppin' up the sky ♪
♪ And I'll wait and I'll wait ♪
♪ And I'll wait and I'll wait for that bit of mail ♪
♪ One sweet little letter ♪
♪ With a sting in its tail ♪
♪ It's a confidence thing ♪
♪ Yeah, it's a confidence thing ♪
♪ It's a confidence thing ♪
♪ Yeah, it's a confidence thing ♪