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[dramatic music]
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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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- ♪ MTV ♪
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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[Katy Perry's
"Cozy Little Christmas"]
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[car horn honks]
- ♪ Everybody's in a hurry ♪
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- Ah, Christmas.
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- ♪ Shopping till
they're droppin' in the snow ♪
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- The most magical time
of the year.
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- ♪ Kids are cryin',
dogs are barkin' ♪
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- A truly wondrous time,
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a time when
all our wishes come true
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in fairy-tale land.
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[dramatic music]
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But this isn't a fairy tale,
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and Christmas
is a horseshit holiday
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that makes us all
feel like crap
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and reminds us of what's wrong
in our lives.
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[car honks]
[tires screech]
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[metallic crunch]
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That's why I'm here.
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Welcome back, KLDA listeners.
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I'm Emily Harris and you're
listening to "Ask Emily."
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Oh, it looks like we have time
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for one more sad Christmas
caller who needs my help.
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Hi, you're on the line
with Emily.
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What's your name,
and what's your problem?
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- Uh, hi.
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My name is Greg and I have
sort of an awkward question.
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- Awkward.
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00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:11,037
Mm, that's my specialty.
Lay it on me.
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- My girlfriend's parents
have been calling me Craig
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for two years, but it's Greg.
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Do I correct them?
- Yes, you correct them!
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Also, real quick,
if the holidays isn't the time
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00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:21,881
to get a little
passive-aggressive,
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then I don't know when is.
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Greg, here's what
you're gonna do.
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You're going to go out
and get yourself
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a custom Christmas sweater
with your actual name,
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Greg, front and center.
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- Oh, my God, that's genius.
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Can I write,
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"No one likes your fruitcake"
on the back?
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- Fruitcake?
You talking about fraudcake?
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Yeah, you write that too,
on the back in lights--
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- Out of my chair, Harris.
48
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- Uh--one, test, test.
- Who's this?
49
00:01:46,105 --> 00:01:48,141
- Uh, that's the new intern,
50
00:01:48,141 --> 00:01:49,676
and we're just
testing the audio.
51
00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:50,944
It sounds great.
- Yeah, whatever.
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Listen.
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Queue up that new music
I sent you this morning.
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It totally sings.
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- Yeah, you got it.
You're on in two.
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- [clears throat]
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- ♪ It's a celebration ♪
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- What's up, what's up,
what's up, New York City?
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00:02:04,023 --> 00:02:06,092
You're listening to KLDA 93.3,
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00:02:06,092 --> 00:02:09,062
your choice for music, news,
celeb gossip, and me,
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Ken "Spicy Ay-yi-yi" Spicer!
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Now we're going to go
straight to the phone lines
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for your favorite Christmas
tradition, "Dear Santa."
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I mean, it's my last week.
[chuckles]
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Okay?
I can do what I want.
66
00:02:20,206 --> 00:02:23,309
- Ugh, only four more days
of this song.
67
00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:24,944
[festive hip-hop music]
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00:02:24,944 --> 00:02:27,480
- Well, there'll be
no avoiding tonight,
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00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,883
because tonight's
the big night.
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00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:31,284
- Yeah.
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00:02:31,284 --> 00:02:33,386
- Em, you know
Ken is deciding tonight
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00:02:33,386 --> 00:02:35,488
on who's taking over his slot,
okay?
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You got to strap
on your boss pants
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and pitch him "Ask Emily"
tonight at the Christmas party.
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- Mm-hmm.
- Right?
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He's never gonna know that you
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want to be a DJ
unless you tell him.
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- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
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- Okay.
So what's your plan?
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00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:48,501
- Oh, I was hoping
you would ask.
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So my plan is to keep
all my wishes to myself,
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so I'm never embarrassed
or disappointed.
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- See you tonight, coward.
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00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:56,976
And don't forget
to wear your sparkly dress.
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- I would never forget
to wear my sparkly dress.
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[upbeat music]
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♪ ♪
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[phone ringing]
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♪ ♪
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No.
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♪ ♪
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00:03:21,501 --> 00:03:24,404
[Mykola Leontovych's
"Carol of the Bells"]
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[choir vocalizing]
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♪ ♪
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- [clears throat]
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You gave the kid
a LEGO Tokyo Skyline.
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00:03:49,195 --> 00:03:50,496
- Uh, yeah.
98
00:03:50,496 --> 00:03:52,065
- He asked for a scooter!
99
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:55,034
- Okay, I did that kid a favor,
all right?
100
00:03:55,034 --> 00:03:57,570
And if he had any taste,
he would know that.
101
00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:59,172
- Do you know
how many complaint letters
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we've gotten about you?
103
00:04:01,007 --> 00:04:03,843
You know how the big man
feels about being selfish.
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He is not happy,
so here's what we're gonna do.
105
00:04:07,647 --> 00:04:09,482
We are assigning you
to the Lost Souls Department.
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00:04:09,482 --> 00:04:11,484
- No! Lost Souls?
107
00:04:11,484 --> 00:04:13,519
Nah, nah, nah, I'm not good
with talking with people.
108
00:04:13,519 --> 00:04:14,887
- Mm, you don't say.
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00:04:14,887 --> 00:04:16,389
- No, I don't like
people like that, okay?
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00:04:16,389 --> 00:04:17,490
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
- I can't--I can't do it.
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- So here's what
you're gonna do.
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You are going to work with,
listen to,
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and actually help
your assigned human,
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and learn not to be so selfish.
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Or you are getting reassigned
to work for...
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♪ ♪
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The Tooth Fairy.
[all gasp]
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♪ ♪
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- ♪ I want to be beautiful ♪
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♪ Want to be beautiful ♪
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- Okay, okay!
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- ♪ I want to be
so much more ♪
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- [sighs]
Not bad, Harris.
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Boris!
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You think all the boys
at the Christmas party
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is gonna like my outfit?
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[cat meows]
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- Well, KLDA listeners,
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looks like we're gonna need
a little liquid courage
130
00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:07,940
to do anything cool tonight!
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[Arin Maya's
"I Want To Be Beautiful"]
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00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:13,446
A little more eggnog
for your girl.
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♪ ♪
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Wow.
Completely out.
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It's not even worth
drinking that.
136
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[sighs]
Okay, fine.
137
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Adult booze it is.
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You're grown anyway, girl.
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Get you a little.
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Mm, mm, mm.
141
00:05:32,365 --> 00:05:34,400
Ugh!
There it goes.
142
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,636
There it is.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
143
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Okay.
Cool Emily.
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00:05:38,871 --> 00:05:40,973
Cool Emily is coming
to the party.
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Okay, okay.
146
00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:45,278
You look him right in the eye
with all of your confidence
147
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and you say--you say, um...
148
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[clears throat]
149
00:05:49,282 --> 00:05:51,484
Ken, baby.
150
00:05:51,484 --> 00:05:53,352
Listen up, okay?
151
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I want to take over for you
152
00:05:54,721 --> 00:05:58,458
with my groundbreaking
advice show, "Ask Emily."
153
00:05:58,458 --> 00:06:00,626
The ratings
are gonna spike so high,
154
00:06:00,626 --> 00:06:02,462
you'll think
you're on cocaine again,
155
00:06:02,462 --> 00:06:04,263
but in a good way.
156
00:06:04,263 --> 00:06:06,199
Come on, baby, Ken!
157
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:09,702
You and I both know
I'm too good to be producing
158
00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:11,337
somebody else's show.
159
00:06:11,337 --> 00:06:13,372
What do you say?
160
00:06:13,372 --> 00:06:14,741
The wink is what's
gonna sell it.
161
00:06:14,741 --> 00:06:16,509
It's the--you're
gonna get your show.
162
00:06:16,509 --> 00:06:17,777
You're gonna get your show,
163
00:06:17,777 --> 00:06:20,113
and Christmas is not
gonna suck for once.
164
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Let's go!
165
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[phone ringing]
166
00:06:22,582 --> 00:06:24,317
- Ugh, Mom.
167
00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:26,385
Why is she always calling me?
168
00:06:26,385 --> 00:06:29,122
[phone ringing]
169
00:06:29,122 --> 00:06:31,557
- It's finally happened!
170
00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:34,160
We're finalists
for the annual Glen Ridge
171
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,629
Christmas Tree
Decorating Contest!
172
00:06:36,629 --> 00:06:38,998
Linda's gonna eat my dust!
173
00:06:38,998 --> 00:06:41,067
I just need you
to come for the party.
174
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:43,336
- Oh, absolutely not.
That's never gonna happen.
175
00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:45,037
Definitely working all day.
176
00:06:45,037 --> 00:06:46,539
- I won't take no
for an answer.
177
00:06:46,539 --> 00:06:47,974
See you tomorrow.
178
00:06:47,974 --> 00:06:49,709
- No, you won't!
179
00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:51,944
- And don't bring
that hideous silver thing
180
00:06:51,944 --> 00:06:54,614
that makes you look
like a burrito.
181
00:06:54,614 --> 00:06:57,950
- ♪ Yeah,
I want to be beautiful ♪
182
00:06:57,950 --> 00:06:59,852
- Can't wait
to put her in a home.
183
00:06:59,852 --> 00:07:02,321
- ♪ I want to be beautiful ♪
184
00:07:02,321 --> 00:07:04,290
- ♪ Merry Christmas ♪
- ♪ Yeah ♪
185
00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:05,558
- ♪ Merry Christmas ♪
- ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
186
00:07:05,558 --> 00:07:06,826
♪ Merry Christmas ♪
187
00:07:06,826 --> 00:07:08,261
- Hey!
188
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,962
I thought we were both
wearing our sparkly dresses.
189
00:07:09,962 --> 00:07:11,764
- I had a dry
cleaning emergency.
190
00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:13,900
But, a little sparkle.
191
00:07:13,900 --> 00:07:16,035
There.
Now we look exactly alike.
192
00:07:16,035 --> 00:07:18,538
- Exactly.
- We're like Tia and Tamera.
193
00:07:18,538 --> 00:07:20,273
- Ladies!
194
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,074
Nice to see you.
195
00:07:22,074 --> 00:07:24,243
Shouldn't I be
wearing that crown?
196
00:07:24,243 --> 00:07:25,878
- Why is that, Janice?
197
00:07:25,878 --> 00:07:29,749
Because you're the queen
of kissing Ken's ass?
198
00:07:29,749 --> 00:07:32,952
- It's obvious Ken's gonna
name me his replacement.
199
00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:35,855
- Okay, we all know how
you got your job, Janice.
200
00:07:35,855 --> 00:07:38,724
You give your knee pads
a rest tonight?
201
00:07:38,724 --> 00:07:41,861
- Oh, good one.
202
00:07:41,861 --> 00:07:46,732
You should know by now that
I get everything I want, okay?
203
00:07:46,732 --> 00:07:48,401
Cute dress, though.
204
00:07:48,401 --> 00:07:50,403
I like the zipper.
It's cute.
205
00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:52,471
- Ugh.
206
00:07:52,471 --> 00:07:53,806
No, I know, I know, I know.
207
00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:55,474
I'm gonna ask Ken.
I will.
208
00:07:55,474 --> 00:07:57,109
I'm gonna ask him, but, like--
209
00:07:57,109 --> 00:07:58,811
look, for now let's just
concentrate on getting
210
00:07:58,811 --> 00:08:00,079
really drunk, really fast.
211
00:08:00,079 --> 00:08:01,380
- Yes, oh, yes.
Right here.
212
00:08:01,380 --> 00:08:02,415
- Focus on that.
- Hi.
213
00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:04,617
- Hey, hi.
214
00:08:04,617 --> 00:08:07,486
- Ah!
- And to boobs.
215
00:08:07,486 --> 00:08:10,556
♪ ♪
216
00:08:10,556 --> 00:08:12,792
both: Ugh!
217
00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:14,660
- It's in the throat,
you know what I mean?
218
00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:16,896
Just like, mm.
219
00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:17,830
- OMG.
220
00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:19,165
It's the hot IT guy.
221
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:20,900
He's standing there
at the buffet.
222
00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:22,468
Alone.
223
00:08:22,468 --> 00:08:23,603
- Hey!
224
00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:26,005
Not for long.
Hold this.
225
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:31,611
♪ ♪
226
00:08:31,611 --> 00:08:32,845
Hey.
227
00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:35,014
- Emily!
Fun party.
228
00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:37,817
- Thank you, you look--
oh, you didn't say--
229
00:08:37,817 --> 00:08:40,686
- What?
- Nice sweater.
230
00:08:40,686 --> 00:08:42,588
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
231
00:08:42,588 --> 00:08:46,058
I--uh-oh, mistletoe.
232
00:08:46,058 --> 00:08:47,326
- Hmm.
233
00:08:47,326 --> 00:08:50,663
- You know, maybe we should--
234
00:08:50,663 --> 00:08:52,899
uh, do you--you don't
have a cat, right?
235
00:08:52,899 --> 00:08:55,701
Because cats are allergic
to mistletoe, so...
236
00:08:56,569 --> 00:08:58,804
Stay alert, stay alive.
237
00:08:58,804 --> 00:09:01,807
Bye!
- Bye.
238
00:09:01,807 --> 00:09:08,948
♪ ♪
239
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:14,086
[toilet flushing]
240
00:09:17,156 --> 00:09:19,792
- Come on, Emily, spit it out.
Just say it.
241
00:09:19,792 --> 00:09:22,461
- You say something?
242
00:09:22,461 --> 00:09:24,096
- [laughs]
243
00:09:24,096 --> 00:09:26,999
Ken, I was, um--
244
00:09:26,999 --> 00:09:29,969
It's just that I know that--
245
00:09:29,969 --> 00:09:33,005
Ken, what I want you to--
246
00:09:33,005 --> 00:09:35,875
I've had to pee all night,
you know?
247
00:09:35,875 --> 00:09:38,311
- Good to know.
248
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:42,415
[upbeat music]
249
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:45,084
♪ ♪
250
00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:46,719
- Hey, what happened?
- I don't know.
251
00:09:46,719 --> 00:09:48,054
I don't know what happened.
252
00:09:48,054 --> 00:09:50,990
I just--like,
how do people do this?
253
00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:53,693
Like, I know I'm supposed
to ask Ken for the on air job,
254
00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:55,094
and I choked.
255
00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:57,196
And I know I'm supposed
to try to make out
256
00:09:57,196 --> 00:09:58,731
with the hottie
under the mistletoe,
257
00:09:58,731 --> 00:10:00,299
and I choked at that too.
258
00:10:00,299 --> 00:10:02,034
And it just feels like
all of my words get stuck
259
00:10:02,034 --> 00:10:04,837
in my throat, and I can't--
260
00:10:04,837 --> 00:10:06,405
Like, what do you do--
how do you do--
261
00:10:06,405 --> 00:10:08,007
how does anyone do any of this?
262
00:10:08,007 --> 00:10:09,976
I just feel like every single
thing I do is so wrong.
263
00:10:09,976 --> 00:10:12,945
Hey, um, can I have
a nogtini, please?
264
00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:15,648
- Sorry.
That guy got the last of them.
265
00:10:15,648 --> 00:10:18,517
- [laughs]
Love nogtinis.
266
00:10:18,517 --> 00:10:21,787
- Gosh.
Cheers.
267
00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:27,593
- That butt-kissing Janice
got my nogtini?
268
00:10:27,593 --> 00:10:29,729
She ain't getting my job.
Not at all.
269
00:10:29,729 --> 00:10:31,063
I'm gonna go in,
and I'm gonna--
270
00:10:31,063 --> 00:10:32,732
I'm gonna demand it, and I'm--
271
00:10:32,732 --> 00:10:35,267
I'm--here I go.
272
00:10:35,267 --> 00:10:37,103
♪ ♪
273
00:10:37,103 --> 00:10:40,072
- Emily, you're
still standing here.
274
00:10:40,072 --> 00:10:41,440
- [whispering]
My feet.
275
00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:42,808
- All right, let's do this.
276
00:10:42,808 --> 00:10:44,877
Okay everyone, hey, come on.
277
00:10:44,877 --> 00:10:47,146
Gather round, gather round.
Listen up.
278
00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:50,383
So I was gonna do this
after the holiday,
279
00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:52,418
but hell, it's Christmas.
280
00:10:52,418 --> 00:10:55,788
Anyway, we figured out
who's gonna replace me.
281
00:10:55,788 --> 00:10:57,189
- It's gonna be Janice.
282
00:10:57,189 --> 00:10:58,858
- As you can imagine,
the choice was clear.
283
00:10:58,858 --> 00:11:00,860
So get ready
284
00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:03,696
for "The Dish with Janice"!
285
00:11:03,696 --> 00:11:04,864
[laughs]
There you go!
286
00:11:04,864 --> 00:11:06,165
Let's dance.
287
00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:08,467
Here we go.
288
00:11:08,467 --> 00:11:10,603
- Boo!
- Boo.
289
00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:13,672
- I already hate your show.
290
00:11:13,672 --> 00:11:15,041
- You're the only one
not dancing.
291
00:11:15,041 --> 00:11:16,709
Where's your Christmas spirit?
292
00:11:16,709 --> 00:11:18,644
- Santa,
mind your business, okay?
293
00:11:18,644 --> 00:11:21,614
Also, you have never brought me
anything I've ever asked for.
294
00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:24,283
- Well, why don't you put it
in a letter then, drunky?
295
00:11:24,283 --> 00:11:26,986
♪ ♪
296
00:11:26,986 --> 00:11:28,587
- Oh, you gonna go with him.
297
00:11:28,587 --> 00:11:30,089
Real supportive.
298
00:11:30,089 --> 00:11:32,558
Hey, can you, um--
can you give me something
299
00:11:32,558 --> 00:11:35,528
to make me forget tonight?
300
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:36,829
- Try that.
301
00:11:36,829 --> 00:11:38,564
- Thank you,
but keep them coming.
302
00:11:38,564 --> 00:11:40,833
- You got it.
- Mm, mm.
303
00:11:40,833 --> 00:11:42,034
[gags]
Yeah.
304
00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:45,938
- Pure elf's blood.
- Oh, mm.
305
00:11:45,938 --> 00:11:48,674
Nah, you acting shy.
306
00:11:48,674 --> 00:11:51,544
One and two, and, and...
307
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:55,014
And do the step.
308
00:11:55,014 --> 00:11:59,118
- Look at the babies.
309
00:11:59,118 --> 00:12:00,953
Hi!
310
00:12:00,953 --> 00:12:03,689
Merry Christmas!
311
00:12:03,689 --> 00:12:05,091
What are you doing?
312
00:12:05,091 --> 00:12:06,625
You guys writing your letters?
313
00:12:06,625 --> 00:12:09,428
About your hopes,
and your dreams,
314
00:12:09,428 --> 00:12:11,530
and your Christmas wishes,
and--
315
00:12:11,530 --> 00:12:14,600
ooh, Santa's gonna
deliver my Christmas wishes.
316
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:16,569
Lies, children!
317
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,237
- Ma'am, please.
318
00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:20,239
- Lies!
They need to know.
319
00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:22,208
Santa doesn't
grant you anything.
320
00:12:22,208 --> 00:12:24,477
He didn't grant me my job,
and I want to--look at her!
321
00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:26,345
She got my job.
322
00:12:26,345 --> 00:12:28,314
How'd they get that up
so quick?
323
00:12:28,314 --> 00:12:32,651
And I didn't even get
to make out with the IT guy!
324
00:12:32,651 --> 00:12:35,187
When's the last time
you make out with somebody, hm?
325
00:12:35,187 --> 00:12:36,689
- You can't be here
without kids.
326
00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:38,357
- Oh!
327
00:12:38,357 --> 00:12:40,693
All of a sudden,
I ain't got a kid.
328
00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:42,194
I can't have a baby?
329
00:12:42,194 --> 00:12:44,663
I have a child, and his name--
330
00:12:44,663 --> 00:12:46,298
it's Timothy.
331
00:12:46,298 --> 00:12:48,167
- You're drunk.
- You're drunk!
332
00:12:48,167 --> 00:12:51,003
And his name is Thomas,
and he would
333
00:12:51,003 --> 00:12:53,405
really appreciate--
so I'm gonna go ahead
334
00:12:53,405 --> 00:12:55,174
and I'm gonna get--
- Excuse me?
335
00:12:55,174 --> 00:12:58,611
Sis, I will not.
- That way!
336
00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:01,447
- Ma'am, no, ma'am!
[groans]
337
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:03,883
- Excuse me!
338
00:13:03,883 --> 00:13:05,217
Rude.
339
00:13:05,217 --> 00:13:07,987
- Okay, you got your letter.
340
00:13:07,987 --> 00:13:10,055
Thank you.
341
00:13:10,055 --> 00:13:12,925
- Merry Christmas.
342
00:13:12,925 --> 00:13:18,063
For Timmy!
For Timmy!
343
00:13:18,063 --> 00:13:21,033
[hip-hop music]
344
00:13:21,033 --> 00:13:25,271
♪ ♪
345
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:30,376
Okay, Santa.
346
00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:34,213
Let's see how magical
this mofo really is.
347
00:13:34,213 --> 00:13:36,048
Dear
348
00:13:36,048 --> 00:13:40,553
ugly asshole.
[chuckles]
349
00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:43,789
JK, JK.
350
00:13:43,789 --> 00:13:47,893
Dear Santa Claus,
351
00:13:47,893 --> 00:13:50,496
I know it's been a while
since we spoke
352
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:54,099
because I don't believe in you
because I'm an adult.
353
00:13:54,099 --> 00:13:59,738
However, um,
you still be granting wishes?
354
00:13:59,738 --> 00:14:01,173
'Cause here are mine.
355
00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:02,808
- All right,
come on, it's for kids.
356
00:14:02,808 --> 00:14:05,110
Let's go, let's go.
357
00:14:05,110 --> 00:14:08,080
[soft festive music]
358
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:11,283
♪ ♪
359
00:14:11,283 --> 00:14:12,985
- Santa needs
to grant me wishes!
360
00:14:12,985 --> 00:14:14,954
Ma'am, no.
361
00:14:14,954 --> 00:14:17,856
Ma'am, no!
- It's for Timmy!
362
00:14:19,625 --> 00:14:22,595
[upbeat music]
363
00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:29,535
♪ ♪
364
00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:42,047
- Hey, boss.
I got a good one for you.
365
00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:44,883
- [laughs]
Okay.
366
00:14:44,883 --> 00:14:46,852
Let's see.
367
00:14:46,852 --> 00:14:49,421
Oh, nogtinis, yes.
368
00:14:49,421 --> 00:14:52,424
Oh!
This is a toughie.
369
00:14:52,424 --> 00:14:56,528
Her Christmas spirit
is in the basement.
370
00:14:56,528 --> 00:14:58,897
I think I know
just the right elf
371
00:14:58,897 --> 00:15:00,599
for this assignment.
372
00:15:00,599 --> 00:15:01,900
♪ ♪
373
00:15:03,168 --> 00:15:05,904
- This is the guy.
374
00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:11,877
Boris, I did it.
375
00:15:11,877 --> 00:15:14,246
I did it.
376
00:15:16,615 --> 00:15:19,518
Okay.
377
00:15:19,518 --> 00:15:21,020
All right.
378
00:15:21,020 --> 00:15:23,689
Goodnight, Boris.
379
00:15:23,689 --> 00:15:28,160
Maybe this Christmas
won't be so bad after all.
380
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:31,263
Get off of me.
381
00:15:35,501 --> 00:15:37,936
[soft music]
382
00:15:37,936 --> 00:15:41,040
[yawns]
383
00:15:45,911 --> 00:15:48,147
Second best?
384
00:15:48,147 --> 00:15:52,217
Hm, Oprah?
385
00:15:52,217 --> 00:15:55,120
You are enough?
386
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:57,623
- Emily, breakfast!
- [gasps]
387
00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:59,591
Get a move on.
We have a lot to talk about.
388
00:15:59,591 --> 00:16:01,260
- Is that my mom?
389
00:16:01,260 --> 00:16:05,197
Wish number one, I want to be
actually close to my mom.
390
00:16:07,499 --> 00:16:10,669
[grunting]
391
00:16:10,669 --> 00:16:12,871
- ♪ Hark,
the herald angels... ♪
392
00:16:12,871 --> 00:16:14,673
- Hey, beautiful.
- Hey, handsome.
393
00:16:14,673 --> 00:16:17,609
♪ ♪
394
00:16:17,609 --> 00:16:21,714
- ♪ Peace on Earth
and mercy mild ♪
395
00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:25,017
♪ God and sinners
reconciled ♪
396
00:16:25,017 --> 00:16:27,720
♪ Joyful all ye nations rise ♪
397
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:29,888
- Mom?
398
00:16:29,888 --> 00:16:32,891
Dad?
Why am I here?
399
00:16:32,891 --> 00:16:35,094
- Oh!
Good afternoon.
400
00:16:35,094 --> 00:16:38,063
I see someone overslept again.
401
00:16:38,063 --> 00:16:39,898
- Um...
402
00:16:39,898 --> 00:16:41,233
- How fast can you eat?
403
00:16:41,233 --> 00:16:43,068
Because we have
a million things to do.
404
00:16:43,068 --> 00:16:45,537
And what are you wearing?
Oh, ugh!
405
00:16:45,537 --> 00:16:47,873
You're gonna go up
and change, right?
406
00:16:47,873 --> 00:16:49,908
- Okay, I'm sorry, when did--
407
00:16:49,908 --> 00:16:52,411
- In an hour, I told you!
408
00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:59,485
The annual tree
decorating contest?
409
00:16:59,485 --> 00:17:01,754
Big parties?
410
00:17:01,754 --> 00:17:03,389
In three days?
411
00:17:03,389 --> 00:17:06,058
We have to go and get
the fireplace garland!
412
00:17:06,058 --> 00:17:09,495
Oh, oh!
Honestly, Emily!
413
00:17:09,495 --> 00:17:12,798
- Okay, I just meant,
when did I get here?
414
00:17:12,798 --> 00:17:15,701
I didn't--did I
drive here last night?
415
00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:17,236
Oh, I am going to jail.
416
00:17:17,236 --> 00:17:19,138
- I don't understand
your sense of humor.
417
00:17:19,138 --> 00:17:21,573
Here, here.
Drink your nogtini, okay?
418
00:17:21,573 --> 00:17:24,943
- Wish number two, I want
all the nogtinis ever.
419
00:17:24,943 --> 00:17:29,314
- Go up, change into
something flattering, please!
420
00:17:29,314 --> 00:17:31,150
And then let's scoot!
421
00:17:31,150 --> 00:17:33,585
- Oh, all right.
422
00:17:33,585 --> 00:17:34,953
I don't know
what's happening here,
423
00:17:34,953 --> 00:17:37,389
but I need to get back
to my show--oh, my God,
424
00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:38,557
do I still have that job?
425
00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:40,626
- Show?
What is she talking about?
426
00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:42,361
- I have no idea.
427
00:17:42,361 --> 00:17:43,862
The Rockettes or something?
428
00:17:43,862 --> 00:17:45,030
- Rockettes?
429
00:17:45,030 --> 00:17:46,965
[doorbell rings]
Oh, God, finally.
430
00:17:46,965 --> 00:17:49,067
You know, he is so late.
431
00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:50,836
He is 12 minutes late!
432
00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:52,070
The liquor for the party!
433
00:17:52,070 --> 00:17:54,406
- Okay, what is happening here?
434
00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:56,708
- Hi, ma'am.
Where would you like these?
435
00:17:56,708 --> 00:17:58,944
- You're late.
- I'm sorry about that.
436
00:17:58,944 --> 00:18:00,412
We're a little backed up.
437
00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:02,080
Christmas parties and all that.
- Fine, over there.
438
00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:04,116
- Okay.
439
00:18:10,389 --> 00:18:12,224
- Hi.
- Hi.
440
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,761
- I don't live here.
441
00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:17,596
- Cool, I don't either.
442
00:18:19,531 --> 00:18:22,067
Yep, here we go.
- Ah!
443
00:18:22,067 --> 00:18:24,803
Careful!
Those are my snowmen!
444
00:18:24,803 --> 00:18:26,004
- All right.
445
00:18:26,004 --> 00:18:27,339
- They're heirlooms!
446
00:18:27,339 --> 00:18:29,174
- Thank you for your business,
447
00:18:29,174 --> 00:18:32,377
and sorry again for the delay.
448
00:18:32,377 --> 00:18:34,213
♪ ♪
449
00:18:34,213 --> 00:18:36,615
Merry Christmas.
450
00:18:40,052 --> 00:18:42,521
Okay.
[chuckles]
451
00:18:42,521 --> 00:18:43,722
- Men!
452
00:18:43,722 --> 00:18:47,392
Never trust a man
with a winning smile.
453
00:18:47,392 --> 00:18:49,628
Your daddy ain't got one.
454
00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:52,097
Zoom, zoom.
455
00:18:52,097 --> 00:18:53,332
Don't you start.
456
00:18:53,332 --> 00:18:54,766
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
457
00:18:54,766 --> 00:18:57,436
Absolutely not.
I'm not dealing with this.
458
00:18:57,436 --> 00:18:58,670
Look, I'm sorry,
I'm not going to look
459
00:18:58,670 --> 00:19:00,639
at any fireplace garland
or anything.
460
00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:02,474
I'm just gonna--
461
00:19:02,474 --> 00:19:04,076
Merry Christmas, y'all.
462
00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:05,944
- Emily.
- See you.
463
00:19:05,944 --> 00:19:08,413
- What?
She--oh!
464
00:19:08,413 --> 00:19:10,249
How could she?
465
00:19:10,249 --> 00:19:13,285
- ♪ Hark, the herald sing ♪
466
00:19:17,148 --> 00:19:18,916
[hip-hop music]
467
00:19:18,916 --> 00:19:21,919
[light music]
468
00:19:21,919 --> 00:19:28,860
♪ ♪
469
00:19:41,005 --> 00:19:43,241
- That's what I thought.
470
00:19:45,376 --> 00:19:47,378
What's up?
471
00:19:47,378 --> 00:19:48,613
No, because you've
been following me.
472
00:19:48,613 --> 00:19:50,148
What's up?
What you want?
473
00:19:50,148 --> 00:19:52,350
- I'm trying to sort out
how much of a pain in my ass
474
00:19:52,350 --> 00:19:54,218
you're gonna be.
475
00:19:55,353 --> 00:19:56,521
- I'm sorry, who are you?
476
00:19:56,521 --> 00:19:58,489
- I'm an elf.
Wolf.
477
00:19:58,489 --> 00:20:00,058
- You're a wolf?
You're an elf?
478
00:20:00,058 --> 00:20:01,492
What is this?
What are you talking about?
479
00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:02,860
- No, no--oh.
I'm an elf.
480
00:20:02,860 --> 00:20:04,762
My name is Wolf.
481
00:20:04,762 --> 00:20:06,264
- Cool, Wolf elf.
482
00:20:06,264 --> 00:20:07,832
Here's what I'm gonna do.
483
00:20:07,832 --> 00:20:10,902
I'm going to mind my business
back to the city by myself.
484
00:20:10,902 --> 00:20:13,004
I suggest you stay here.
- Okay, but look.
485
00:20:13,004 --> 00:20:14,872
Your apartment's not gonna
be there when you get there.
486
00:20:18,209 --> 00:20:20,978
- [laughs]
487
00:20:20,978 --> 00:20:22,947
You're still drunk.
488
00:20:22,947 --> 00:20:25,450
I'm still drunk.
I get what's happening here.
489
00:20:25,450 --> 00:20:27,351
- But still, your apartment's
not gon' be there, okay?
490
00:20:27,351 --> 00:20:28,519
Because this isn't your life.
491
00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:30,555
I mean, technically it is.
492
00:20:30,555 --> 00:20:32,724
But--this part is
always hard to explain.
493
00:20:32,724 --> 00:20:35,226
Okay, look, you know that
letter you wrote to Santa?
494
00:20:37,161 --> 00:20:39,197
All your wishes
are coming true.
495
00:20:39,197 --> 00:20:41,666
- Okay.
You're a crazy person.
496
00:20:41,666 --> 00:20:45,103
That's clear.
There's a--hello?
497
00:20:45,103 --> 00:20:47,772
Help?
498
00:20:47,772 --> 00:20:49,607
Damn it, nobody here no more?
499
00:20:49,607 --> 00:20:52,110
Elf guy talking to me.
- You know what, go ahead.
500
00:20:52,110 --> 00:20:53,544
See for yourself, all right?
501
00:20:53,544 --> 00:20:55,613
But don't be surprised
by all the magical crap.
502
00:20:55,613 --> 00:20:57,215
Go on.
- Okay.
503
00:20:57,215 --> 00:20:59,317
I want some help
for you, brother.
504
00:20:59,317 --> 00:21:01,419
Let me get in here.
505
00:21:01,419 --> 00:21:03,654
Don't--you stay there.
- Okay.
506
00:21:03,654 --> 00:21:05,590
- Okay.
507
00:21:07,391 --> 00:21:09,160
[bell dings]
508
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:16,300
♪ ♪
509
00:21:20,004 --> 00:21:21,739
- "Woman crushed to death
510
00:21:21,739 --> 00:21:24,208
in freak reindeer
leaping accident."
511
00:21:24,208 --> 00:21:25,476
[gasps]
512
00:21:25,476 --> 00:21:30,414
Wish number three,
I wish Janice
513
00:21:30,414 --> 00:21:35,653
would take a flying leap.
514
00:21:35,653 --> 00:21:39,524
No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.
515
00:21:39,524 --> 00:21:41,926
Can I have this for free?
She's my best friend.
516
00:21:41,926 --> 00:21:44,362
Thank you.
No.
517
00:21:46,130 --> 00:21:47,932
Okay.
518
00:21:54,238 --> 00:21:55,339
That's it.
That's it.
519
00:21:55,339 --> 00:21:56,674
Oh, come on.
520
00:21:56,674 --> 00:21:58,976
This is not happening.
This is not happening.
521
00:21:58,976 --> 00:22:00,144
Come on!
522
00:22:00,144 --> 00:22:01,546
- Yo!
523
00:22:01,546 --> 00:22:03,648
You got the wrong
apartment, lady.
524
00:22:05,016 --> 00:22:06,250
- Is this 5C?
525
00:22:06,250 --> 00:22:08,419
- Yeah.
- And you live here?
526
00:22:08,419 --> 00:22:10,254
- Yeah.
Can I help you?
527
00:22:10,254 --> 00:22:12,757
- Cool, cool, no.
Don't panic.
528
00:22:12,757 --> 00:22:15,626
Hey, um,
is there a cat in here?
529
00:22:15,626 --> 00:22:18,863
His name is Boris,
and he's insightful and fluffy.
530
00:22:18,863 --> 00:22:20,832
- I'm vegan.
- Oh, but we don't eat him.
531
00:22:20,832 --> 00:22:23,768
He's for loving.
Boris? Okay.
532
00:22:26,671 --> 00:22:28,606
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, oh, my God.
533
00:22:28,606 --> 00:22:29,974
What is happening?
534
00:22:29,974 --> 00:22:31,509
This can't be real.
It's not real.
535
00:22:31,509 --> 00:22:33,177
Is it? Is it?
536
00:22:33,177 --> 00:22:35,479
Wait, am I crazy?
537
00:22:35,479 --> 00:22:38,049
Oh, God, did I kill someone?
538
00:22:38,049 --> 00:22:41,586
Oh, no, do I have to spend
Christmas with my mom?
539
00:22:41,586 --> 00:22:43,221
- Did you say kill?
- [gasps]
540
00:22:43,221 --> 00:22:44,722
[festive music]
541
00:22:44,722 --> 00:22:47,859
[muttering angrily]
542
00:22:47,859 --> 00:22:49,760
You wanna tell me what
the hell is going on here?
543
00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:51,596
- It's what I was
trying to tell you, okay?
544
00:22:51,596 --> 00:22:54,265
You remember wandering
up in here last night?
545
00:22:54,265 --> 00:22:56,100
- Dear Santa Claus.
546
00:22:56,100 --> 00:22:58,402
Job stealing bitch!
547
00:22:58,402 --> 00:23:00,304
Lies, children!
548
00:23:00,304 --> 00:23:03,040
There's nothing
in this but lies!
549
00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:04,375
- Ma'am.
550
00:23:04,375 --> 00:23:07,612
- I'm--I'm going, sir!
551
00:23:07,612 --> 00:23:10,748
♪ ♪
552
00:23:10,748 --> 00:23:12,717
Yes.
- Okay?
553
00:23:12,717 --> 00:23:14,952
Well, your wish came true,
okay?
554
00:23:14,952 --> 00:23:16,320
You got your wish.
555
00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:17,755
Santa is
into lessons this year.
556
00:23:17,755 --> 00:23:19,957
I know.
It's super annoying.
557
00:23:19,957 --> 00:23:22,126
You know how you want to be
close to your mom, right?
558
00:23:22,126 --> 00:23:23,494
- Okay.
559
00:23:23,494 --> 00:23:25,830
- Okay, well, now y'all
are close physically.
560
00:23:25,830 --> 00:23:29,634
- That's not what I meant!
- I know.
561
00:23:29,634 --> 00:23:31,569
Santa is a literal
son of a bitch.
562
00:23:31,569 --> 00:23:33,671
- Actually,
is this your boy here?
563
00:23:33,671 --> 00:23:35,506
Tell your boy to take it back.
564
00:23:35,506 --> 00:23:36,974
I'm out.
- Okay, okay, okay.
565
00:23:36,974 --> 00:23:38,609
Wait, wait, wait.
Listen, listen, listen, okay?
566
00:23:38,609 --> 00:23:40,578
It's not that easy, all right?
567
00:23:40,578 --> 00:23:43,781
You got until 12:00 midnight
Christmas Eve.
568
00:23:43,781 --> 00:23:46,651
And you got to prove
to Santa that you've changed,
569
00:23:46,651 --> 00:23:48,185
that you've learned
your lesson,
570
00:23:48,185 --> 00:23:49,921
that you got
your Christmas spirit back.
571
00:23:49,921 --> 00:23:51,355
And you're gonna
have to write him
572
00:23:51,355 --> 00:23:56,060
an amended letter about
your true Christmas wish.
573
00:23:56,060 --> 00:23:58,329
Then you'll get
your old life back,
574
00:23:58,329 --> 00:24:00,865
and no one will remember
any of this except you.
575
00:24:00,865 --> 00:24:02,366
- No.
576
00:24:02,366 --> 00:24:04,335
Fight me.
What if I don't do it?
577
00:24:04,335 --> 00:24:05,603
- No?
- Yeah, no.
578
00:24:05,603 --> 00:24:07,138
- Okay, well,
if you don't do it,
579
00:24:07,138 --> 00:24:09,807
then you're gonna be in this
alternate universe forever.
580
00:24:09,807 --> 00:24:13,911
And your last wish
is gonna come true forever.
581
00:24:13,911 --> 00:24:15,813
- My last wish.
Oh, God.
582
00:24:15,813 --> 00:24:17,682
I don't even want to know.
What is it?
583
00:24:17,682 --> 00:24:20,551
- Oh, okay, okay.
Let's see what it is.
584
00:24:20,551 --> 00:24:22,753
You wished
that the entire world
585
00:24:22,753 --> 00:24:24,088
would turn into fruitcake.
586
00:24:24,088 --> 00:24:26,657
- I would never ask for that.
Not once.
587
00:24:26,657 --> 00:24:28,059
- You right.
Yeah, okay.
588
00:24:28,059 --> 00:24:29,460
You didn't ask
for that exactly.
589
00:24:29,460 --> 00:24:30,661
This is what you said.
590
00:24:30,661 --> 00:24:33,097
You said, "Oh, I'm so hungry.
591
00:24:33,097 --> 00:24:35,800
"Oh, I could eat anything.
Oh, you know what?
592
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:38,369
"Deliver me all the fruitcake
in the world
593
00:24:38,369 --> 00:24:41,539
since you such
a magical mofo."
594
00:24:41,539 --> 00:24:44,208
- Damn.
- That's what you said.
595
00:24:44,208 --> 00:24:45,676
- That sounds just like me.
596
00:24:45,676 --> 00:24:47,311
- And I guess
I'm here to help you.
597
00:24:47,311 --> 00:24:51,682
- I just--good God, I truly
am the queen of bad decisions.
598
00:24:51,682 --> 00:24:55,619
- ♪ It's a celebration ♪
599
00:24:55,619 --> 00:24:57,888
- What is happening?
600
00:24:57,888 --> 00:25:00,925
- Okay, well,
apparently you wished
601
00:25:00,925 --> 00:25:03,527
to be the queen
of a dance circle,
602
00:25:03,527 --> 00:25:05,529
and you just said
the secret word.
603
00:25:05,529 --> 00:25:07,898
- What--no, no, no, no.
604
00:25:07,898 --> 00:25:10,301
You can go.
How do I get them to go?
605
00:25:10,301 --> 00:25:12,903
You can go.
- They're not gonna stop, okay?
606
00:25:12,903 --> 00:25:15,406
You gon' have to dance, okay?
607
00:25:15,406 --> 00:25:16,807
Or this gonna go on forever.
608
00:25:16,807 --> 00:25:18,542
Look at her.
That's gonna happen.
609
00:25:18,542 --> 00:25:19,777
That right there
with the ribbon.
610
00:25:19,777 --> 00:25:21,412
There.
Go on, dance.
611
00:25:21,412 --> 00:25:26,584
- ♪ Let me hear you say,
I'm ready for the holiday ♪
612
00:25:26,584 --> 00:25:28,452
- That's what you chose?
You chose that?
613
00:25:28,452 --> 00:25:31,255
Okay, okay.
614
00:25:31,255 --> 00:25:33,624
- I can't do this.
615
00:25:33,624 --> 00:25:40,731
♪ ♪
616
00:25:48,072 --> 00:25:50,141
Mm.
617
00:25:54,745 --> 00:25:57,848
Mm-hmm, how do I
still have that?
618
00:26:07,191 --> 00:26:09,960
Well, KLDA Nation,
619
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,830
looks like
we officially have a Christmas
620
00:26:12,830 --> 00:26:15,633
of all I didn't want.
621
00:26:23,574 --> 00:26:27,344
- Mm.
Ah.
622
00:26:27,344 --> 00:26:29,814
- Emily, breakfast!
623
00:26:29,814 --> 00:26:32,149
Okay.
[clears throat]
624
00:26:33,784 --> 00:26:37,321
Ice sculptures, which you
and your dad can pick up.
625
00:26:37,321 --> 00:26:38,656
- Okay.
626
00:26:38,656 --> 00:26:41,492
- And also, of course,
our hair appointments.
627
00:26:41,492 --> 00:26:46,697
And we have to find you
a date for the party.
628
00:26:46,697 --> 00:26:50,301
- No, I really
don't think we do.
629
00:26:52,470 --> 00:26:54,939
- Listen, it's only two days.
630
00:26:54,939 --> 00:26:59,009
Don't be nervous.
I know that we can do this.
631
00:26:59,009 --> 00:27:02,880
Which brings us to Goldie,
632
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:07,785
Silversmith, and Platinum.
633
00:27:07,785 --> 00:27:09,687
I'll handle her alone.
634
00:27:09,687 --> 00:27:13,357
Oh, she is going
to win that cover for us.
635
00:27:13,357 --> 00:27:16,594
It's her year.
I know she can do it.
636
00:27:16,594 --> 00:27:18,996
If we find her the right tools,
637
00:27:18,996 --> 00:27:21,866
she can do anything she wants.
638
00:27:21,866 --> 00:27:24,301
- Right, the tree can
do whatever she wants.
639
00:27:24,301 --> 00:27:25,970
Me, not so much.
640
00:27:25,970 --> 00:27:28,672
- Hey, how do I look?
641
00:27:28,672 --> 00:27:31,142
- Like you are
avoiding helping me.
642
00:27:31,142 --> 00:27:33,077
- Oh, oh, oh, Em.
643
00:27:33,077 --> 00:27:34,578
There was
this sort of love letter
644
00:27:34,578 --> 00:27:36,080
waiting for you at the door.
645
00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:38,349
Okay.
Well, ladies, have fun.
646
00:27:38,349 --> 00:27:40,184
Fellas are waiting.
I got to go.
647
00:27:40,184 --> 00:27:43,087
I love you, baby.
- Get out of here!
648
00:27:43,087 --> 00:27:45,356
He's always running off.
Oh!
649
00:27:45,356 --> 00:27:47,591
- It's from Chet Charles.
No frigging way.
650
00:27:47,591 --> 00:27:51,495
- Chet Charles.
- Oh.
651
00:27:51,495 --> 00:27:53,664
[card playing music]
Okay.
652
00:27:53,664 --> 00:27:55,966
"Please go out with me.
653
00:27:55,966 --> 00:27:59,570
"Until then,
here's a lock of my hair
654
00:27:59,570 --> 00:28:01,705
"to keep my essence near.
655
00:28:01,705 --> 00:28:03,641
Love you forever."
656
00:28:03,641 --> 00:28:06,410
Oh, my God.
This is so gross.
657
00:28:06,410 --> 00:28:07,745
Wish number five,
658
00:28:07,745 --> 00:28:09,647
I want the hottest guy
I can think of
659
00:28:09,647 --> 00:28:12,049
to be completely crazed-balls
obsessed with me.
660
00:28:12,049 --> 00:28:14,318
High school god Chet Charles.
661
00:28:14,318 --> 00:28:18,189
- Oh, Chet Charles.
He's a sweetheart.
662
00:28:18,189 --> 00:28:21,058
Didn't you have a big crush
on him in high school?
663
00:28:21,058 --> 00:28:22,893
- Mom, that was
like a million years ago.
664
00:28:22,893 --> 00:28:24,929
But it looks like
he's a serial killer now.
665
00:28:24,929 --> 00:28:27,464
- No, no.
You should know he's a dentist.
666
00:28:27,464 --> 00:28:31,235
I mean, he has
his posters all over town.
667
00:28:31,235 --> 00:28:35,439
I am just so surprised
that he sent this to you.
668
00:28:35,439 --> 00:28:39,977
Now you can cross off
finding a date as one
669
00:28:39,977 --> 00:28:41,946
of the tasks on your list.
670
00:28:41,946 --> 00:28:43,214
You know something?
671
00:28:43,214 --> 00:28:45,349
You have been moving
like molasses.
672
00:28:45,349 --> 00:28:47,985
You act like you want
to be late for work.
673
00:28:47,985 --> 00:28:49,987
- Work?
- Work!
674
00:28:49,987 --> 00:28:52,256
Come on, let's get out of here.
675
00:28:52,256 --> 00:28:54,024
- I didn't realize
I had a job here.
676
00:28:54,024 --> 00:28:55,259
- Well, you do.
677
00:28:57,678 --> 00:28:59,046
- Come on, hurry up.
Oh!
678
00:28:59,046 --> 00:29:01,282
The ice angels
are back in stock again.
679
00:29:01,282 --> 00:29:04,452
Now, remember to pick up the
frozen pigs in a blanket, okay?
680
00:29:04,452 --> 00:29:06,621
After you get off of work.
And brush your hair.
681
00:29:06,621 --> 00:29:08,156
Ah!
682
00:29:08,156 --> 00:29:10,258
Look, your boyfriend,
Chet the dentist!
683
00:29:10,258 --> 00:29:12,326
[laughing]
Oh, I gotta go.
684
00:29:12,326 --> 00:29:13,628
I gotta get those angels.
685
00:29:13,628 --> 00:29:15,730
Oh, come on,
they're over there.
686
00:29:15,730 --> 00:29:18,032
- That's not my man.
687
00:29:19,567 --> 00:29:22,069
What are you doing here?
What am I doing here?
688
00:29:22,069 --> 00:29:24,639
- Okay, well,
this is where you work.
689
00:29:24,639 --> 00:29:26,073
- Boss Ass Bitchmas?
690
00:29:26,073 --> 00:29:29,844
Wish number six,
I want to be a boss ass bitch!
691
00:29:29,844 --> 00:29:30,878
- Mm-hmm.
- Ornament?
692
00:29:30,878 --> 00:29:32,680
I--oh, no!
693
00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:33,881
- Huh, what?
- Hide me!
694
00:29:33,881 --> 00:29:35,082
- Okay, look.
695
00:29:35,082 --> 00:29:36,450
I don't really do hugs,
you know.
696
00:29:36,450 --> 00:29:38,119
This feel weird, so...
697
00:29:38,119 --> 00:29:40,121
- No, no, no, no, no.
698
00:29:40,121 --> 00:29:42,723
You see that girl over there
with the blonde hair
699
00:29:42,723 --> 00:29:44,759
and the angry eyes?
700
00:29:44,759 --> 00:29:46,594
Ginger George.
701
00:29:46,594 --> 00:29:49,330
She used to be my best friend,
up until freshman year,
702
00:29:49,330 --> 00:29:51,666
when she decided
to ruin my life
703
00:29:51,666 --> 00:29:53,467
at the Glen Ridge
Christmas Fair
704
00:29:53,467 --> 00:29:55,970
in front of everybody.
- What happened?
705
00:29:57,305 --> 00:30:00,308
[applause]
706
00:30:03,110 --> 00:30:04,812
- I actually can't
go there right now.
707
00:30:04,812 --> 00:30:07,315
I can't.
It's--I can't.
708
00:30:07,315 --> 00:30:09,350
In a nutshell,
709
00:30:09,350 --> 00:30:12,520
she bullied me straight through
high school graduation.
710
00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:14,722
It was awful.
711
00:30:14,722 --> 00:30:16,891
I mean,
I went from having friends
712
00:30:16,891 --> 00:30:19,193
to all of a sudden
being a social pariah.
713
00:30:19,193 --> 00:30:20,628
Like, you should
have heard the things
714
00:30:20,628 --> 00:30:22,029
that the kids said about me.
715
00:30:22,029 --> 00:30:23,764
And to my face!
716
00:30:24,732 --> 00:30:26,300
Oh, no, no, no.
- Ahh!
717
00:30:26,300 --> 00:30:27,602
BFF!
718
00:30:27,602 --> 00:30:30,171
- Wish number seven,
I want a BFF.
719
00:30:30,171 --> 00:30:32,039
- You crazy biznatch!
720
00:30:32,039 --> 00:30:34,008
Why were you doing
that little hidey-hidey thing?
721
00:30:34,008 --> 00:30:36,544
And um--oh, my God,
who is this?
722
00:30:36,544 --> 00:30:38,646
Is it your boyfriend?
723
00:30:38,646 --> 00:30:40,781
- No, this is my elf.
724
00:30:40,781 --> 00:30:42,550
- Okay.
725
00:30:42,550 --> 00:30:45,019
Why you being so weird,
you weirdo?
726
00:30:45,019 --> 00:30:46,554
Oh, my God.
727
00:30:46,554 --> 00:30:48,889
So I finished the
Bitches Love Santa ornaments,
728
00:30:48,889 --> 00:30:52,893
and I designed
this super cute new one.
729
00:30:55,997 --> 00:30:58,432
- "Don't be silent
tonight, bae."
730
00:30:58,432 --> 00:31:00,101
- It's even cuter
when other people say it.
731
00:31:00,101 --> 00:31:04,071
So are you ready
to get to work?
732
00:31:04,071 --> 00:31:05,673
- No, I need a minute.
733
00:31:05,673 --> 00:31:09,310
- Okay, BRB then because
I'm going to grab coffee,
734
00:31:09,310 --> 00:31:13,147
unless maybe I could
grab something else?
735
00:31:16,250 --> 00:31:18,686
Okay.
736
00:31:18,686 --> 00:31:20,888
- Excuse me, what was that?
737
00:31:20,888 --> 00:31:22,657
- Yeah, I figured
this would happen.
738
00:31:22,657 --> 00:31:24,225
It's my elfmones.
739
00:31:24,225 --> 00:31:27,261
Yeah, elf pheromones
are like catnip to humans.
740
00:31:27,261 --> 00:31:28,829
Sad.
741
00:31:28,829 --> 00:31:30,865
- [sniffs]
- Huh?
742
00:31:30,865 --> 00:31:32,800
- Can I get you something,
Daddy?
743
00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:35,770
No, no!
Focus.
744
00:31:35,770 --> 00:31:38,639
Okay, what I'm getting here
745
00:31:38,639 --> 00:31:42,610
is that I work here
746
00:31:42,610 --> 00:31:47,448
with my bully, who is my BFF?
747
00:31:51,452 --> 00:31:53,487
I'm gonna leave
in a huff so huffy.
748
00:31:53,487 --> 00:31:55,456
- Okay.
- Get ready for it.
749
00:31:55,456 --> 00:31:56,957
[groans]
750
00:31:56,957 --> 00:32:00,995
I'm writing Santa now!
[laughs]
751
00:32:00,995 --> 00:32:06,600
Dear Santa,
my true wish is to go back
752
00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:10,471
to my real life.
753
00:32:10,471 --> 00:32:12,940
- That's not gonna work.
- There, yeah.
754
00:32:16,310 --> 00:32:18,012
[laughs]
755
00:32:18,012 --> 00:32:22,149
No, oh, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.
756
00:32:22,149 --> 00:32:25,419
Santa, you got me.
You will not beat me!
757
00:32:25,419 --> 00:32:27,955
I think the real problem was
that I wasn't specific enough,
758
00:32:27,955 --> 00:32:29,957
and I totally under--
I apologize.
759
00:32:29,957 --> 00:32:34,161
Dear Santa, sorry
I wasn't specific enough.
760
00:32:34,161 --> 00:32:38,999
I would like
to live at 5C again.
761
00:32:38,999 --> 00:32:42,370
- No, it's--
- Chill, I got this.
762
00:32:42,370 --> 00:32:44,638
- Okay, okay.
- 5C.
763
00:32:47,241 --> 00:32:48,976
- Pass the tofu nuggets,
roomie.
764
00:32:48,976 --> 00:32:50,978
- Tofu?
765
00:32:50,978 --> 00:32:52,646
- Hey, welcome back!
- I got it.
766
00:32:52,646 --> 00:32:54,482
I figured it out.
- You smell like tofurkey.
767
00:32:54,482 --> 00:32:55,783
- I know, I know.
768
00:32:55,783 --> 00:32:57,585
I just need
to be real specific with him,
769
00:32:57,585 --> 00:32:59,053
or I need to--I got it.
770
00:32:59,053 --> 00:33:03,724
Dear Santa, I want everyone
771
00:33:03,724 --> 00:33:06,527
at my job to see the real me.
772
00:33:06,527 --> 00:33:07,962
- Real you--no!
773
00:33:07,962 --> 00:33:10,064
- I have to beat Santa's ass.
- Santa is literal!
774
00:33:10,064 --> 00:33:11,065
- I will beat--
- Santa is literal!
775
00:33:11,065 --> 00:33:12,633
- Can Santa whoop my ass?
776
00:33:12,633 --> 00:33:15,035
[gasps]
777
00:33:15,035 --> 00:33:18,239
- Why are you naked,
you crazy bitch?
778
00:33:18,239 --> 00:33:22,476
- Lookin' good, Emily!
- Is this casual Friday?
779
00:33:22,476 --> 00:33:24,412
- Okay.
780
00:33:24,412 --> 00:33:27,848
Dear Santa,
you think this is a game?
781
00:33:27,848 --> 00:33:29,717
Huh, Santa?
- Okay.
782
00:33:29,717 --> 00:33:32,520
- Erase everything--
- No, don't write that!
783
00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:34,288
- And start--shh!
784
00:33:34,288 --> 00:33:35,423
- Don't write it.
- Huh? Huh?
785
00:33:35,423 --> 00:33:37,625
- Don't do that.
- Huh! Huh!
786
00:33:37,625 --> 00:33:42,196
Erase everything
and start over, ha!
787
00:33:42,196 --> 00:33:43,931
- Ooh!
You don't wanna say start over.
788
00:33:43,931 --> 00:33:47,101
- No, we gon' start--
♪ Over ♪
789
00:33:47,101 --> 00:33:50,237
[wind whooshing]
790
00:33:55,075 --> 00:33:57,244
Wolf?
791
00:33:59,647 --> 00:34:02,082
Wolf?
792
00:34:04,452 --> 00:34:07,655
Oh, my God, fruitcake feet.
793
00:34:07,655 --> 00:34:10,691
[creature screeching]
794
00:34:10,691 --> 00:34:12,893
- Oh, no, no, no!
795
00:34:12,893 --> 00:34:15,496
[tablet jingles]
796
00:34:15,496 --> 00:34:18,299
- Lost Souls Department,
Emergency Services.
797
00:34:18,299 --> 00:34:19,900
- Uh, yeah, man,
I'ma need a reset.
798
00:34:19,900 --> 00:34:21,068
She reached Snowpocalypse.
799
00:34:21,068 --> 00:34:23,170
- Yikes, Tooth Fairy.
800
00:34:23,170 --> 00:34:24,772
Sure you wanna reset now?
801
00:34:24,772 --> 00:34:27,308
- I mean, how bad
can the Tooth Fairy be?
802
00:34:27,308 --> 00:34:31,178
- You seen her teeth, man?
Ugh.
803
00:34:31,178 --> 00:34:34,648
[tablet dings]
- Ah! Ah, help me!
804
00:34:34,648 --> 00:34:37,551
[creature growling]
805
00:34:40,154 --> 00:34:43,057
Wolf!
- Yo, hey.
806
00:34:43,057 --> 00:34:45,059
Are you done?
- Ah!
807
00:34:45,059 --> 00:34:46,760
I'm done.
- Okay.
808
00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:51,265
Well, now what,
oh, magical elfin guide?
809
00:34:51,265 --> 00:34:54,635
- Okay, well, maybe neither
is your best life, okay?
810
00:34:54,635 --> 00:34:56,770
Not the old one
and not the new one.
811
00:34:56,770 --> 00:34:58,506
- Are you trying
to say something helpful?
812
00:34:58,506 --> 00:35:00,674
Be careful.
- Okay, okay, look.
813
00:35:00,674 --> 00:35:02,109
I'm sorry you got stuck
with a shitty guide.
814
00:35:02,109 --> 00:35:03,511
- I did.
- All right.
815
00:35:03,511 --> 00:35:05,479
This is not my area
of expertise.
816
00:35:05,479 --> 00:35:08,115
But maybe it's time
we lean into this whole thing.
817
00:35:08,115 --> 00:35:10,150
Okay?
For the both of us.
818
00:35:10,150 --> 00:35:11,819
Because I know you don't care.
- I don't.
819
00:35:11,819 --> 00:35:13,287
- But if this doesn't
work out for you,
820
00:35:13,287 --> 00:35:15,256
I'ma have to work
for the Tooth Fairy.
821
00:35:15,256 --> 00:35:17,224
- [laughs]
Okay, cool.
822
00:35:17,224 --> 00:35:19,326
So now the Tooth Fairy is real.
823
00:35:19,326 --> 00:35:21,228
Look, assuming
that I believe you,
824
00:35:21,228 --> 00:35:23,264
that doesn't even
sound that bad.
825
00:35:23,264 --> 00:35:24,999
- Not that bad?
Okay.
826
00:35:24,999 --> 00:35:26,300
All right.
You know what?
827
00:35:26,300 --> 00:35:28,736
Look at this.
828
00:35:28,736 --> 00:35:31,672
[creature screeches]
829
00:35:31,672 --> 00:35:34,575
- Oh, we need to figure
this out together.
830
00:35:34,575 --> 00:35:36,577
- One sec.
831
00:35:36,577 --> 00:35:39,680
[bell dings]
[chuckles]
832
00:35:41,582 --> 00:35:43,751
- Not you dressed
like you in Silk Sonic.
833
00:35:43,751 --> 00:35:46,453
How you do that?
- I'm a magical elf, bitch!
834
00:35:47,855 --> 00:35:49,490
- All right, well,
now I look like garbage,
835
00:35:49,490 --> 00:35:50,824
so I'm finna go change.
836
00:35:50,824 --> 00:35:53,394
Do not look
at my yearbooks, okay?
837
00:35:54,862 --> 00:35:57,264
- Hmm, what's a yearbook?
838
00:36:00,334 --> 00:36:02,102
- [sniffing]
839
00:36:02,102 --> 00:36:04,471
- The disrespect.
840
00:36:04,471 --> 00:36:06,640
Okay, you were not kidding
about those pheromones, huh?
841
00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:08,742
- Yeah.
That's why we don't do karaoke.
842
00:36:08,742 --> 00:36:11,245
It's too risky.
- Yeah, say less.
843
00:36:11,245 --> 00:36:12,846
That'd be too
dangerous for you.
844
00:36:12,846 --> 00:36:14,148
- Hey!
845
00:36:14,148 --> 00:36:15,282
It's the gal
from the party house
846
00:36:15,282 --> 00:36:17,718
with the punctual mom.
847
00:36:17,718 --> 00:36:20,654
- It's the late delivery guy
with the booze.
848
00:36:20,654 --> 00:36:21,722
- Yeah.
849
00:36:21,722 --> 00:36:26,026
Wyatt Snowmyn.
- Wyatt Snowman?
850
00:36:26,026 --> 00:36:27,761
- No, close, "myn."
851
00:36:27,761 --> 00:36:29,663
- Are you serious right now?
- Snowmyn.
852
00:36:29,663 --> 00:36:31,332
- Oh, I understand
what's happening.
853
00:36:31,332 --> 00:36:33,100
This is--it's very clear.
854
00:36:33,100 --> 00:36:35,135
You're a snowman
who's temporarily been
855
00:36:35,135 --> 00:36:36,437
turned into a human being.
856
00:36:36,437 --> 00:36:38,772
This is really hilarious.
This is very clever.
857
00:36:38,772 --> 00:36:41,241
This is why he was so cute
and smiley the other day.
858
00:36:41,241 --> 00:36:43,210
- You think--
you thought I was cute?
859
00:36:43,210 --> 00:36:44,278
- Actually, I'm sorry.
860
00:36:44,278 --> 00:36:45,813
I don't have time
for questions.
861
00:36:45,813 --> 00:36:47,314
We're actually in the middle
of something right now, so--
862
00:36:47,314 --> 00:36:49,350
can I just learn whatever
the lesson is tomorrow?
863
00:36:49,350 --> 00:36:51,218
- I'm sorry, what?
- Babe!
864
00:36:51,218 --> 00:36:53,721
[laughs]
I'm very busy.
865
00:36:53,721 --> 00:36:56,523
Please just go find your magic
hat or whatever, you know.
866
00:36:56,523 --> 00:36:58,058
I'll catch up with you
tomorrow, all right?
867
00:36:58,058 --> 00:36:59,293
- Okay, I'm--
- Get!
868
00:36:59,293 --> 00:37:01,261
- Get?
- Snowmyn.
869
00:37:01,261 --> 00:37:03,430
Y'all ain't on a schedule?
[laughs]
870
00:37:03,430 --> 00:37:06,200
- He's not one of ours.
871
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:09,670
- Oh, sh--hey, Snowmyn!
872
00:37:09,670 --> 00:37:11,739
Sh--
- Maybe he melted.
873
00:37:11,739 --> 00:37:12,673
- Shut up!
874
00:37:15,126 --> 00:37:17,662
- Okay,
a little corn dog truck.
875
00:37:17,662 --> 00:37:21,265
- Mm-hmm, that's how
we do it in the 'burbs!
876
00:37:21,265 --> 00:37:22,934
Where do you hang out?
877
00:37:22,934 --> 00:37:25,503
- Oh, reindeer stalls.
878
00:37:25,503 --> 00:37:26,871
All right, so let's lean in!
879
00:37:26,871 --> 00:37:30,308
Okay, let's start here.
So, uh, lover boy.
880
00:37:30,308 --> 00:37:32,043
Tell me about him.
- Oh, come on.
881
00:37:32,043 --> 00:37:33,477
That's so embarrassing.
882
00:37:33,477 --> 00:37:35,413
Chet Charles was like
the high school heartthrob.
883
00:37:35,413 --> 00:37:36,714
If I knew that this was real,
884
00:37:36,714 --> 00:37:38,416
I would have chosen
someone else.
885
00:37:38,416 --> 00:37:39,984
- Let's go a little
bit deeper, okay?
886
00:37:39,984 --> 00:37:43,354
Let's start at the beginning.
Let's see.
887
00:37:43,354 --> 00:37:45,289
Tell me about this.
888
00:37:45,289 --> 00:37:47,358
- Yeah,
that's me and Mom in front
889
00:37:47,358 --> 00:37:50,127
of her three
precious Christmas trees.
890
00:37:50,127 --> 00:37:53,097
She was always more proud
of them than she was of me.
891
00:37:53,097 --> 00:37:54,865
Yeah.
- Okay.
892
00:37:54,865 --> 00:37:56,934
Are you ready
to tell me about Ginger?
893
00:37:58,536 --> 00:38:01,238
- [sighs]
Okay.
894
00:38:03,140 --> 00:38:07,712
Ginger and I were best friends.
We were inseparable, honestly.
895
00:38:07,712 --> 00:38:12,083
And when I started getting
a little chubby,
896
00:38:12,083 --> 00:38:16,988
I also got really insecure
because kids are assholes.
897
00:38:16,988 --> 00:38:20,625
And Ginger always had my back,
you know,
898
00:38:20,625 --> 00:38:24,829
until the Christmas she decided
to make my body a thing.
899
00:38:24,829 --> 00:38:28,499
- I hate her already.
Continue.
900
00:38:28,499 --> 00:38:30,501
- So we were rehearsing
901
00:38:30,501 --> 00:38:32,570
for the Christmas talent show
for weeks,
902
00:38:32,570 --> 00:38:36,841
and we were just
about to go on stage, and...
903
00:38:36,841 --> 00:38:39,543
- Hey, Ginger!
Are you ready?
904
00:38:39,543 --> 00:38:41,545
I'm pretty nervous.
905
00:38:41,545 --> 00:38:44,048
- So they don't think
906
00:38:44,048 --> 00:38:46,250
you should perform with us.
907
00:38:46,250 --> 00:38:48,085
- What?
908
00:38:48,085 --> 00:38:49,954
But why?
909
00:38:49,954 --> 00:38:53,724
- Isn't it obvious,
Gummy Tummy?
910
00:38:55,192 --> 00:38:56,961
- Rude.
911
00:38:56,961 --> 00:38:59,463
I hate Christmas.
912
00:39:00,631 --> 00:39:03,601
Then she just dropped me.
913
00:39:03,601 --> 00:39:05,069
- And you really
never danced again?
914
00:39:05,069 --> 00:39:09,373
- No, not at school,
or really anywhere else.
915
00:39:10,608 --> 00:39:12,843
Yeah, when
your best friend dumps you
916
00:39:12,843 --> 00:39:15,112
real publicly like that,
you sort of learn
917
00:39:15,112 --> 00:39:20,184
that life is a little better
out of the limelight.
918
00:39:20,184 --> 00:39:22,520
- Man, that makes me mad.
919
00:39:22,520 --> 00:39:25,389
I just want to punch Dasher
right in his face.
920
00:39:25,389 --> 00:39:28,125
And I like Dasher.
He's my guy.
921
00:39:28,125 --> 00:39:31,362
- Thank you so much
for your emotional outburst.
922
00:39:31,362 --> 00:39:34,131
Also, you know, I uh--
[chuckles]
923
00:39:34,131 --> 00:39:36,567
Even though I still don't know
how to get out of this mess,
924
00:39:36,567 --> 00:39:40,171
I actually do feel a lot better
925
00:39:40,171 --> 00:39:42,173
unloading all of that.
926
00:39:42,173 --> 00:39:44,408
So thank you.
927
00:39:45,710 --> 00:39:48,612
Look at you being
surprisingly helpful.
928
00:39:48,612 --> 00:39:50,748
- Hey, I'm pretty wise.
929
00:39:50,748 --> 00:39:53,451
- Great, I need that.
So what do I do now?
930
00:39:53,451 --> 00:39:56,020
- Ooh, fudge if I know.
931
00:39:56,020 --> 00:39:59,423
- Why are we
opening these books?
932
00:40:01,692 --> 00:40:04,095
- You really think Linda's
trying to sabotage you?
933
00:40:04,095 --> 00:40:05,896
- Well, I don't know anymore.
934
00:40:05,896 --> 00:40:08,799
But I did see her peeping
through our window last night.
935
00:40:08,799 --> 00:40:10,935
And if you don't call
that sabotage,
936
00:40:10,935 --> 00:40:12,903
then I don't know.
937
00:40:12,903 --> 00:40:17,108
- Um, I think you should
just talk to her.
938
00:40:17,108 --> 00:40:19,143
You like all the same stuff.
939
00:40:19,143 --> 00:40:21,479
Decorating, holidays,
940
00:40:21,479 --> 00:40:25,116
glitter, dressing nice,
941
00:40:25,116 --> 00:40:28,419
holidays, looking pretty.
942
00:40:28,419 --> 00:40:31,322
- You think she's pretty?
- Oh, heavens no.
943
00:40:31,322 --> 00:40:34,558
♪ I think
you're pretty, baby ♪
944
00:40:34,558 --> 00:40:36,327
♪ Sure look good to me ♪
- Oh.
945
00:40:36,327 --> 00:40:38,362
- Mm-hmm.
946
00:40:38,362 --> 00:40:40,698
- Well, she never invites me
947
00:40:40,698 --> 00:40:44,535
to her ladies' nights,
you know?
948
00:40:44,535 --> 00:40:48,005
Of course I wouldn't go,
but I mean,
949
00:40:48,005 --> 00:40:52,009
I think it still would
be nice to be asked, you know?
950
00:40:53,844 --> 00:40:55,379
I'm fun.
951
00:40:55,379 --> 00:40:57,481
Right, Stan?
952
00:40:57,481 --> 00:40:59,116
- Of course you are.
953
00:40:59,116 --> 00:41:02,319
You are very--yeah.
954
00:41:02,319 --> 00:41:05,022
- [laughs]
- Sure you are, baby.
955
00:41:05,022 --> 00:41:08,325
- I think there's one spot
over by your right armpit
956
00:41:08,325 --> 00:41:11,462
that is empty still.
957
00:41:11,462 --> 00:41:13,898
No, no, your right armpit.
The right.
958
00:41:13,898 --> 00:41:15,533
- Baby, this is
my right armpit.
959
00:41:15,533 --> 00:41:17,101
No more nogtinis for you.
960
00:41:17,101 --> 00:41:19,770
- Okay.
961
00:41:19,770 --> 00:41:24,875
I just don't think we have
the right feature piece.
962
00:41:24,875 --> 00:41:28,179
We need a unique
conversation piece,
963
00:41:28,179 --> 00:41:29,547
you know, a showstopper.
964
00:41:29,547 --> 00:41:31,849
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
965
00:41:31,849 --> 00:41:34,451
Maybe I can find one
after the hair salon.
966
00:41:34,451 --> 00:41:36,654
- Hey, you ready?
967
00:41:36,654 --> 00:41:38,889
- Oh, hey, baby.
You ready to go?
968
00:41:38,889 --> 00:41:41,025
Okay, chop chop.
- Let's do it.
969
00:41:41,025 --> 00:41:44,295
[upbeat music]
970
00:41:44,295 --> 00:41:50,067
♪ ♪
971
00:41:50,067 --> 00:41:51,936
- So, Sally.
972
00:41:51,936 --> 00:41:55,573
Thank you for squeezing us in
for this trial run.
973
00:41:55,573 --> 00:42:00,511
So tell me,
how high can you get our hair?
974
00:42:00,511 --> 00:42:02,379
- All the way up, baby.
975
00:42:02,379 --> 00:42:05,516
- Oh, you gave me a chill.
976
00:42:05,516 --> 00:42:08,853
You know, my daughter, Emily,
she's gonna be bringing
977
00:42:08,853 --> 00:42:11,355
a dentist to the party.
978
00:42:11,355 --> 00:42:13,390
- No.
- Oh, a dentist?
979
00:42:13,390 --> 00:42:14,959
- Yes!
- No, no, no, no, I'm not.
980
00:42:14,959 --> 00:42:17,728
I'm not gonna bring
the dentist to the party.
981
00:42:17,728 --> 00:42:21,365
Actually, that drinks
delivery guy was really cute,
982
00:42:21,365 --> 00:42:24,835
don't you think?
- Uh...
983
00:42:24,835 --> 00:42:27,605
- Mom, are you listening to me?
984
00:42:27,605 --> 00:42:31,375
♪ ♪
985
00:42:31,375 --> 00:42:35,112
- So how is Linda
wearing her hair to the party?
986
00:42:35,112 --> 00:42:36,647
- I'm not sure yet.
987
00:42:36,647 --> 00:42:38,883
She's gonna tell me
at rummy tonight.
988
00:42:38,883 --> 00:42:40,284
- Oh.
989
00:42:40,284 --> 00:42:43,721
So you still playing rummy
with that basic bitch?
990
00:42:44,722 --> 00:42:47,024
- Just a few of us.
991
00:42:47,024 --> 00:42:51,462
- I don't even like rummy,
honestly, hm.
992
00:42:51,462 --> 00:42:54,164
- Mm-hmm.
993
00:42:55,699 --> 00:42:59,703
Uh, we look like
giant Christmas gnomes.
994
00:42:59,703 --> 00:43:03,440
Did you--I mean,
you really like it this way?
995
00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:07,678
- The holiday look in Paris.
996
00:43:07,678 --> 00:43:11,448
We must do it.
[chuckles]
997
00:43:11,448 --> 00:43:14,285
- Mom, are you gonna be okay
if you don't win this thing?
998
00:43:14,285 --> 00:43:16,887
- I just love this look.
999
00:43:16,887 --> 00:43:19,223
Huh?
You say something?
1000
00:43:19,223 --> 00:43:20,958
- I said you're gorgeous,
1001
00:43:20,958 --> 00:43:22,760
and I'm so glad
I look like you.
1002
00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:24,662
- No, you look like your dad.
1003
00:43:28,532 --> 00:43:31,669
- Yeah, well, now the hair's
coming all the way down, baby.
1004
00:43:31,669 --> 00:43:34,238
Much better.
1005
00:43:34,238 --> 00:43:36,006
[sighs]
1006
00:43:36,006 --> 00:43:38,575
Dear KLDA listeners,
Emily Harris here,
1007
00:43:38,575 --> 00:43:40,978
reporting live from
the nightmare before Christmas.
1008
00:43:40,978 --> 00:43:44,315
Do I have what it takes
to find my Christmas spirit
1009
00:43:44,315 --> 00:43:45,783
while working for my bully
1010
00:43:45,783 --> 00:43:48,218
and also wearing
the world's worst hairstyle?
1011
00:43:48,218 --> 00:43:49,987
Stay tuned!
1012
00:43:52,189 --> 00:43:53,824
Let me just do that.
1013
00:43:55,626 --> 00:43:58,062
Was that always a fruitcake?
1014
00:44:01,532 --> 00:44:05,302
No, it used to be a bush.
1015
00:44:05,302 --> 00:44:10,207
Ginger, I'm reporting
for work or whatever.
1016
00:44:11,742 --> 00:44:15,512
Ugh, a note.
Okay.
1017
00:44:15,512 --> 00:44:18,449
- Hey, bitch!
Sorry, had to close today.
1018
00:44:18,449 --> 00:44:20,818
Sexmergency.
1019
00:44:20,818 --> 00:44:23,053
Blame your spicy
little friend
1020
00:44:23,053 --> 00:44:24,955
and his spicy cologne.
1021
00:44:24,955 --> 00:44:27,257
- Oh, girl, I'm pretty sure
elves are asexual.
1022
00:44:27,257 --> 00:44:29,293
- I'm not
with your friend, B-T-dubs.
1023
00:44:29,293 --> 00:44:31,996
Not yet.
- Gross, come on, girl.
1024
00:44:31,996 --> 00:44:33,731
- Anyways, uh,
take the day off.
1025
00:44:33,731 --> 00:44:36,100
It's Xmas Eve Eve.
1026
00:44:36,100 --> 00:44:38,635
See you at darts
tonight, bitch.
1027
00:44:38,635 --> 00:44:41,205
- Christmas Eve Eve already?
1028
00:44:41,205 --> 00:44:43,207
God!
1029
00:44:43,207 --> 00:44:46,877
♪ ♪
1030
00:44:46,877 --> 00:44:50,814
"I wanna roast your chestnuts
this Christmas."
1031
00:44:50,814 --> 00:44:54,151
I hate that that's so funny,
but it is.
1032
00:44:54,151 --> 00:44:56,186
Ooh.
1033
00:44:56,186 --> 00:44:58,389
Hey, handsome.
1034
00:44:58,389 --> 00:45:01,058
Talk about a showstopper.
1035
00:45:01,058 --> 00:45:06,063
- ♪ And no guy in the world
like mine ♪
1036
00:45:06,063 --> 00:45:09,166
♪ No way, I miss
the nights by the fire ♪
1037
00:45:09,166 --> 00:45:11,335
- Hi.
1038
00:45:11,335 --> 00:45:14,038
Just gonna...
1039
00:45:14,038 --> 00:45:16,306
Aw.
1040
00:45:16,306 --> 00:45:19,443
- ♪ And the city
keep on moving ♪
1041
00:45:19,443 --> 00:45:21,945
♪ Last minute lovers
like the movie ♪
1042
00:45:21,945 --> 00:45:26,216
♪ Gonna feel like Christmas,
baby ♪
1043
00:45:26,216 --> 00:45:27,584
♪ ♪
1044
00:45:27,584 --> 00:45:30,020
- He's got the mouth.
[laughs]
1045
00:45:32,682 --> 00:45:34,450
- You playing rummy
tonight too?
1046
00:45:34,450 --> 00:45:37,086
[laughs]
1047
00:45:37,086 --> 00:45:38,521
No problem.
1048
00:45:38,521 --> 00:45:40,256
Oh, I have plenty
that I can do.
1049
00:45:40,256 --> 00:45:43,326
Listen, I'll just see you
tomorrow at the party, okay?
1050
00:45:43,326 --> 00:45:44,861
Okay.
1051
00:45:44,861 --> 00:45:47,797
Oh!
I can't stand her.
1052
00:45:47,797 --> 00:45:50,933
- Hey, Mom.
- Oh, Emily.
1053
00:45:50,933 --> 00:45:52,468
Oh, I'm so glad you're here.
1054
00:45:52,468 --> 00:45:55,772
I want you to help me
apply that gold leaf
1055
00:45:55,772 --> 00:45:57,373
to the nutcracker dolls.
1056
00:45:57,373 --> 00:45:58,875
- Yeah, I got you.
1057
00:45:58,875 --> 00:46:01,911
But actually, I wanted
to show you something.
1058
00:46:01,911 --> 00:46:03,846
So I went down to the shop,
1059
00:46:03,846 --> 00:46:07,116
and I got you a bunch of,
you know, really cute
1060
00:46:07,116 --> 00:46:09,318
but traditional ornaments.
1061
00:46:09,318 --> 00:46:11,788
But I think we both know
that what you really need
1062
00:46:11,788 --> 00:46:14,057
is a showstopper.
- Mm-hmm.
1063
00:46:14,057 --> 00:46:18,628
- So I found something that
your girl Platinum over here
1064
00:46:18,628 --> 00:46:20,063
would really appreciate.
1065
00:46:20,063 --> 00:46:21,831
And I want to warn you,
1066
00:46:21,831 --> 00:46:23,800
it can be seen
as a little edgy,
1067
00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:26,402
but edgy is in right now.
1068
00:46:26,402 --> 00:46:29,605
Trust me, so...
1069
00:46:29,605 --> 00:46:31,307
Bam!
Isn't he cute?
1070
00:46:31,307 --> 00:46:33,409
He's a little merman!
- Yeah.
1071
00:46:33,409 --> 00:46:35,578
- I was thinking
that he would go great
1072
00:46:35,578 --> 00:46:36,913
right in that middle space,
1073
00:46:36,913 --> 00:46:39,415
right in the center
of the tree.
1074
00:46:39,415 --> 00:46:41,284
- [laughs]
1075
00:46:42,418 --> 00:46:45,688
- Why don't you put
all of these
1076
00:46:45,688 --> 00:46:48,458
on the tree
in your daddy's office?
1077
00:46:50,193 --> 00:46:52,929
- Right, of course,
the tree no one's gonna see.
1078
00:46:55,765 --> 00:46:59,602
Mom, do you think maybe
you want to try the ornament?
1079
00:46:59,602 --> 00:47:00,970
It's really, really important.
1080
00:47:00,970 --> 00:47:05,374
- Baby, it's a bit edgy
for the judges.
1081
00:47:05,374 --> 00:47:07,877
- Okay,
but I'm asking you to try.
1082
00:47:07,877 --> 00:47:11,347
I'm trying.
I'm try--Santa!
1083
00:47:11,347 --> 00:47:13,583
If your magical ears
can hear me,
1084
00:47:13,583 --> 00:47:15,084
it's not working, so now what?
1085
00:47:15,084 --> 00:47:16,886
- What?
What about Santa?
1086
00:47:16,886 --> 00:47:18,287
- Nothing!
1087
00:47:18,287 --> 00:47:21,290
- Did you ask that nice dentist
to the party?
1088
00:47:21,290 --> 00:47:23,493
- Mom, I told you
I don't want to go with him.
1089
00:47:23,493 --> 00:47:26,562
He sent me a lock of his hair.
It's gross.
1090
00:47:26,562 --> 00:47:29,565
- Romantic.
- Seriously?
1091
00:47:29,565 --> 00:47:31,567
- Baby, he's handsome.
1092
00:47:31,567 --> 00:47:34,137
He likes you.
He's successful.
1093
00:47:34,137 --> 00:47:37,039
- You really don't care
what I want, do you?
1094
00:47:37,039 --> 00:47:40,343
- I don't want
to see you to end up alone.
1095
00:47:40,343 --> 00:47:42,779
- Now, why would
I end up alone?
1096
00:47:43,946 --> 00:47:45,848
Because I'm not perfect?
1097
00:47:45,848 --> 00:47:48,251
Because I'm not you?
- [chuckles]
1098
00:47:48,251 --> 00:47:50,853
- Is it how I act
or how I look?
1099
00:47:50,853 --> 00:47:52,188
- No, I don't know.
1100
00:47:52,188 --> 00:47:53,756
- Oh, you don't want
to talk about it,
1101
00:47:53,756 --> 00:47:55,625
but I'm just supposed to settle
for someone I don't like
1102
00:47:55,625 --> 00:47:57,660
because girls that act
like me and look like me
1103
00:47:57,660 --> 00:48:00,663
are supposed to settle?
- No, not necessarily.
1104
00:48:00,663 --> 00:48:03,065
- Jesus, Mom, you--
1105
00:48:03,065 --> 00:48:06,536
- Baby, I love you.
1106
00:48:06,536 --> 00:48:08,004
I love you.
1107
00:48:08,004 --> 00:48:09,605
Just, the world is--
1108
00:48:09,605 --> 00:48:12,708
- Mom, I know how the world is,
but you could be on my side.
1109
00:48:12,708 --> 00:48:14,076
- I am on your side!
1110
00:48:14,076 --> 00:48:15,378
- You think
you're on my side
1111
00:48:15,378 --> 00:48:18,147
when you won't even
hang up an ornament?
1112
00:48:19,782 --> 00:48:21,784
This is exactly
why I don't talk to you.
1113
00:48:21,784 --> 00:48:25,621
It is--there's no point.
1114
00:48:25,621 --> 00:48:28,658
By the way, you probably
wouldn't be alone all the time
1115
00:48:28,658 --> 00:48:31,594
if you didn't expect everybody
and everything around you
1116
00:48:31,594 --> 00:48:33,029
to be perfect all the time!
1117
00:48:33,029 --> 00:48:35,097
Whatever it is
that you think is perfect.
1118
00:48:35,097 --> 00:48:37,733
- Oh, young lady,
you watch your tone!
1119
00:48:37,733 --> 00:48:39,702
You watch your--ooh!
1120
00:48:39,702 --> 00:48:42,038
- ♪ Have yourself ♪
1121
00:48:42,038 --> 00:48:46,576
♪ A merry little Christmas ♪
1122
00:48:46,576 --> 00:48:48,177
♪ ♪
1123
00:48:48,177 --> 00:48:51,347
♪ Let your heart be light ♪
1124
00:48:51,347 --> 00:48:55,751
- This might go--
okay, that means ace, so--
1125
00:48:55,751 --> 00:48:57,153
- [sighs]
1126
00:48:57,153 --> 00:48:59,922
- ♪ From now on ♪
1127
00:48:59,922 --> 00:49:03,159
♪ Our troubles
will be out... ♪
1128
00:49:03,159 --> 00:49:05,861
- Hey, gang,
welcome to the annual
1129
00:49:05,861 --> 00:49:08,364
Bullseyes for Blitzen contest.
1130
00:49:08,364 --> 00:49:10,766
The first team
to hit ten bullseyes
1131
00:49:10,766 --> 00:49:14,637
gets Blitzened on the house.
1132
00:49:14,637 --> 00:49:16,939
[cheers and applause]
1133
00:49:16,939 --> 00:49:20,343
- Oh, my God, it's the snowman.
- What?
1134
00:49:20,343 --> 00:49:23,913
- The bartender's
last name is Snowmyn.
1135
00:49:23,913 --> 00:49:27,717
- Oh, he is cute.
You like him?
1136
00:49:27,717 --> 00:49:29,151
You should go chat him up.
1137
00:49:29,151 --> 00:49:33,256
Maybe, um, nibble his carrots
if you know what I mean.
1138
00:49:33,256 --> 00:49:35,258
- I don't.
Can you explain it in detail?
1139
00:49:35,258 --> 00:49:37,026
- You know, like his--
- Bullseye Candy?
1140
00:49:37,026 --> 00:49:38,861
Bullseye Candy?
1141
00:49:38,861 --> 00:49:41,030
- Yeah.
1142
00:49:41,030 --> 00:49:43,499
Bullseye Candy.
- That's us.
1143
00:49:43,499 --> 00:49:45,701
- Yo, we got this.
1144
00:49:45,701 --> 00:49:47,637
Boom!
1145
00:49:47,637 --> 00:49:49,272
both: ♪ Bullseye Candy ♪
1146
00:49:49,272 --> 00:49:51,240
♪ Bullseye Candy ♪
1147
00:49:51,240 --> 00:49:54,010
- ♪ Bullseye Candy,
get out of the way ♪
1148
00:49:54,010 --> 00:49:55,778
- Excuse us!
1149
00:49:55,778 --> 00:49:58,481
Excuse us!
Move out of the way.
1150
00:49:58,481 --> 00:49:59,448
Okay.
1151
00:49:59,448 --> 00:50:01,050
[together]
One, two, three.
1152
00:50:01,050 --> 00:50:02,985
[upbeat music]
1153
00:50:02,985 --> 00:50:05,087
- Oh, well.
1154
00:50:05,087 --> 00:50:07,290
We'll get 'em next year.
1155
00:50:07,290 --> 00:50:09,025
- I'm sorry,
that was embarrassing.
1156
00:50:09,025 --> 00:50:11,160
I'm a little rusty.
1157
00:50:11,160 --> 00:50:12,561
- Yeah, that was weird.
1158
00:50:12,561 --> 00:50:14,330
Normally, you're like
a total bullseye bitch.
1159
00:50:14,330 --> 00:50:16,365
- I am?
- Yeah!
1160
00:50:16,365 --> 00:50:17,867
- Cool.
1161
00:50:17,867 --> 00:50:19,135
- I think I'm gonna go for it
1162
00:50:19,135 --> 00:50:22,104
with your, uh, cinnamon friend.
1163
00:50:22,104 --> 00:50:24,507
If you don't mind.
- No, no, no, no.
1164
00:50:24,507 --> 00:50:26,008
I definitely don't mind.
1165
00:50:26,008 --> 00:50:28,811
Um, full disclosure,
he might not be into you.
1166
00:50:28,811 --> 00:50:30,146
But you know.
1167
00:50:30,146 --> 00:50:31,447
- Cool, cool, cool,
cool, cool, cool.
1168
00:50:31,447 --> 00:50:33,082
Yeah, I'm definitely
gonna make my move then.
1169
00:50:33,082 --> 00:50:35,451
- You're not scared?
- No!
1170
00:50:35,451 --> 00:50:38,621
I mean, I've made a fool
of myself like a million times.
1171
00:50:38,621 --> 00:50:39,822
I mean, you know.
1172
00:50:39,822 --> 00:50:42,625
- You've always
been really ballsy.
1173
00:50:42,625 --> 00:50:44,327
I've always envied
that about you.
1174
00:50:44,327 --> 00:50:45,594
- Thank you very much.
1175
00:50:45,594 --> 00:50:48,064
I mean, I'd rather just know.
You know?
1176
00:50:48,064 --> 00:50:49,932
You got to go after
what you want.
1177
00:50:49,932 --> 00:50:51,600
Be bold.
1178
00:50:51,600 --> 00:50:53,369
Like, uh...
1179
00:50:53,369 --> 00:50:56,539
[upbeat hip-hop music]
1180
00:50:56,539 --> 00:51:00,643
♪ ♪
1181
00:51:00,643 --> 00:51:03,612
- Look, it's
crazy snowman girl.
1182
00:51:03,612 --> 00:51:05,414
- Oh.
1183
00:51:05,414 --> 00:51:07,583
You remember that.
- Mm-hmm.
1184
00:51:07,583 --> 00:51:09,085
- [laughs]
Hi.
1185
00:51:09,085 --> 00:51:11,420
I'm sorry about that.
1186
00:51:11,420 --> 00:51:13,456
I thought
you were someone else,
1187
00:51:13,456 --> 00:51:15,825
but I was wrong.
1188
00:51:15,825 --> 00:51:17,693
So who are you?
1189
00:51:19,095 --> 00:51:20,696
- I'm Wyatt Snowmyn.
1190
00:51:20,696 --> 00:51:25,267
Age 31, Scorpio,
Leo moon rising, obviously.
1191
00:51:25,267 --> 00:51:27,903
Originally of Glen Ridge,
New Jersey.
1192
00:51:27,903 --> 00:51:30,539
Go Panthers.
1193
00:51:30,539 --> 00:51:32,274
Currently residing
in Manhattan.
1194
00:51:32,274 --> 00:51:35,277
Part owner of a few bars,
including this little gem
1195
00:51:35,277 --> 00:51:36,846
in the old hometown.
1196
00:51:36,846 --> 00:51:39,682
- Okay, so I stopped listening
after you said Scorpio
1197
00:51:39,682 --> 00:51:41,784
because I know
that Scorpios are kinky.
1198
00:51:41,784 --> 00:51:43,386
- Oh, yeah?
- And uh--
1199
00:51:43,386 --> 00:51:44,954
- Sting.
1200
00:51:44,954 --> 00:51:46,555
- I'm kidding.
1201
00:51:46,555 --> 00:51:49,125
I'm--it's nice
to meet you, Wyatt.
1202
00:51:49,125 --> 00:51:50,960
I'm Emily.
1203
00:51:50,960 --> 00:51:53,496
I don't think
I gave you my name.
1204
00:51:53,496 --> 00:51:56,699
- No, you were definitely
too busy yelling at me.
1205
00:51:56,699 --> 00:52:00,202
- Oh, you didn't like that?
- Oh, well, eh.
1206
00:52:00,202 --> 00:52:02,705
Hmm.
- Because you're welcome.
1207
00:52:02,705 --> 00:52:04,607
[both laugh]
1208
00:52:04,607 --> 00:52:05,975
Scorpios love that.
1209
00:52:05,975 --> 00:52:07,042
- Yeah, I can take
a little abuse.
1210
00:52:07,042 --> 00:52:08,244
- Yeah.
[laughs]
1211
00:52:08,244 --> 00:52:11,347
- Okay, you know what?
Here.
1212
00:52:11,347 --> 00:52:15,684
Emily, for you and your friend.
1213
00:52:17,319 --> 00:52:18,921
Boom.
- Okay.
1214
00:52:18,921 --> 00:52:20,790
- Yeah.
- For free?
1215
00:52:20,790 --> 00:52:21,757
- Yes.
- Okay.
1216
00:52:21,757 --> 00:52:23,426
- No charge.
1217
00:52:23,426 --> 00:52:26,495
- Your tip is that you get
to watch me walk away.
1218
00:52:26,495 --> 00:52:27,997
- Oof!
1219
00:52:27,997 --> 00:52:30,166
This is better than 20%.
1220
00:52:30,166 --> 00:52:32,368
Whew!
- Check this out.
1221
00:52:32,368 --> 00:52:33,702
[laughs]
- Mm, thank you.
1222
00:52:36,872 --> 00:52:38,341
- Okay, so I'll get a glass
of this Sancerre to start.
1223
00:52:38,341 --> 00:52:40,943
- Very good.
Will anyone be joining you?
1224
00:52:40,943 --> 00:52:43,646
- Nope!
Just a little me time.
1225
00:52:43,646 --> 00:52:46,449
You know, I don't
get a lot of me time.
1226
00:52:46,449 --> 00:52:49,552
So this is extremely exciting.
1227
00:52:49,552 --> 00:52:51,487
- Oh, very good.
1228
00:52:51,487 --> 00:52:53,489
- Yeah.
You been working here long?
1229
00:52:53,489 --> 00:52:54,991
- Two years.
- Two years!
1230
00:52:54,991 --> 00:52:56,626
Oh, very nice.
1231
00:52:56,626 --> 00:52:58,194
So--
- I'll bring you that Sancerre.
1232
00:52:58,194 --> 00:53:02,064
- But--oh, okay.
1233
00:53:02,064 --> 00:53:04,433
- Sancerre.
- Yes.
1234
00:53:04,433 --> 00:53:06,802
- It's my favorite.
- Good taste.
1235
00:53:06,802 --> 00:53:08,104
- You too.
1236
00:53:08,104 --> 00:53:11,073
- It might sound crazy,
but be my guest.
1237
00:53:11,073 --> 00:53:12,541
- You know what?
1238
00:53:12,541 --> 00:53:14,744
I was hoping that you would
say something like that.
1239
00:53:14,744 --> 00:53:16,245
- Oh!
- Yeah.
1240
00:53:16,245 --> 00:53:18,147
- Oh.
- Yeah.
1241
00:53:18,147 --> 00:53:20,650
[soft music]
1242
00:53:20,650 --> 00:53:25,021
- Yeah!
Entertaining nonetheless.
1243
00:53:25,021 --> 00:53:26,956
- Oh, my God,
that is disgusting.
1244
00:53:26,956 --> 00:53:28,357
- It's getting mintier,
I swear.
1245
00:53:28,357 --> 00:53:30,026
- So creamy.
Let's get another one.
1246
00:53:30,026 --> 00:53:32,194
- Okay, I'm in charge of the--
1247
00:53:32,194 --> 00:53:33,396
I'll get the--
1248
00:53:33,396 --> 00:53:36,198
- Yes you are!
He totally likes you.
1249
00:53:36,198 --> 00:53:38,668
- No!
- Yes!
1250
00:53:38,668 --> 00:53:40,136
- No, no, he doesn't.
1251
00:53:40,136 --> 00:53:41,604
He's, uh--no.
1252
00:53:41,604 --> 00:53:44,106
- He's been comping
your drinks all night.
1253
00:53:44,106 --> 00:53:45,307
- It's like,
why would he be into me?
1254
00:53:45,307 --> 00:53:46,842
- Why wouldn't he be into you?
1255
00:53:46,842 --> 00:53:48,477
- Well, because he
looks like he's from,
1256
00:53:48,477 --> 00:53:51,113
like, a J.Crew, like, ar--oh.
1257
00:53:51,113 --> 00:53:53,482
- Oh, my God, Chet Charles?
1258
00:53:53,482 --> 00:53:55,985
- What are you--
- What are you doing?
1259
00:53:55,985 --> 00:53:58,387
- ♪ I really can't stay ♪
1260
00:53:58,387 --> 00:54:01,557
♪ Baby, it's cold outside ♪
1261
00:54:01,557 --> 00:54:07,463
♪ I gotta get away 'cause,
baby, it's cold outside ♪
1262
00:54:07,463 --> 00:54:09,298
- All right, it's done, so--
1263
00:54:09,298 --> 00:54:11,500
- Your mom told me that you
wanted me to be your date
1264
00:54:11,500 --> 00:54:12,935
for the Christmas Eve party.
1265
00:54:12,935 --> 00:54:14,103
- Okay, but I didn't actually--
1266
00:54:14,103 --> 00:54:15,571
- And I have never
been more honored
1267
00:54:15,571 --> 00:54:17,840
by anything in my entire life.
1268
00:54:17,840 --> 00:54:19,742
So I obviously accept.
1269
00:54:19,742 --> 00:54:22,244
- Oh, no, no, no,
I'm not--I didn't--
1270
00:54:22,244 --> 00:54:23,913
- I got you something.
1271
00:54:23,913 --> 00:54:25,548
- This is a misunder--
this is a Christmas adventure,
1272
00:54:25,548 --> 00:54:29,018
and I wrote a--
it's a San--uh, mm.
1273
00:54:29,018 --> 00:54:31,087
Okay, okay.
1274
00:54:31,087 --> 00:54:33,089
- I'll see you tomorrow.
1275
00:54:33,089 --> 00:54:35,224
- Probably not.
1276
00:54:35,224 --> 00:54:39,161
Don't show up
because I don't--oh.
1277
00:54:39,161 --> 00:54:42,832
Oh, no,
is that chair fruitcake?
1278
00:54:42,832 --> 00:54:45,134
- Oh, my God.
1279
00:54:45,134 --> 00:54:49,472
You sneaky little hussy!
1280
00:54:49,472 --> 00:54:52,508
Are you
and Chet Charles a thing?
1281
00:54:52,508 --> 00:54:54,376
- No, we are not--
no, no, no, no, no.
1282
00:54:54,376 --> 00:54:55,845
We're not a thing, me and Chet.
1283
00:54:55,845 --> 00:54:57,012
No, no, we're not.
1284
00:54:57,012 --> 00:54:58,681
Stop, stop,
stop scissoring yourself.
1285
00:54:58,681 --> 00:55:03,786
Actually, um, I think
that my mom is more interested
1286
00:55:03,786 --> 00:55:06,322
like, actually interested
in him for me,
1287
00:55:06,322 --> 00:55:08,791
but I'm definitely
not interested in him.
1288
00:55:08,791 --> 00:55:11,093
That's not the guy for me
or anything like that.
1289
00:55:11,093 --> 00:55:12,795
- Okay, Em, you're, like,
1290
00:55:12,795 --> 00:55:15,431
really yelling this
out loud right now.
1291
00:55:15,431 --> 00:55:19,568
- I just wanted to make sure
everybody gets the point
1292
00:55:19,568 --> 00:55:22,738
about my personal feeling.
1293
00:55:22,738 --> 00:55:24,373
[both laughing]
1294
00:55:24,373 --> 00:55:26,342
- That's funny.
That's funny.
1295
00:55:26,342 --> 00:55:28,511
Look, look.
1296
00:55:28,511 --> 00:55:31,413
Lorraine,
can I be honest with you?
1297
00:55:31,413 --> 00:55:33,816
- Yes, if you
let me wear the hat.
1298
00:55:33,816 --> 00:55:35,151
- Oh, okay!
1299
00:55:35,151 --> 00:55:39,321
Here you go.
Ooh!
1300
00:55:39,321 --> 00:55:41,257
Oh!
- I like.
1301
00:55:41,257 --> 00:55:42,725
I like!
- Looks nice on you.
1302
00:55:42,725 --> 00:55:44,860
- You like it?
1303
00:55:44,860 --> 00:55:47,863
- Okay, but don't take
this the wrong way,
1304
00:55:47,863 --> 00:55:51,167
but you're not really
a good listener.
1305
00:55:51,167 --> 00:55:52,868
- Mm-hmm.
1306
00:55:52,868 --> 00:55:57,573
But what if I know better
for the people than they do?
1307
00:55:57,573 --> 00:55:59,441
What if I know
what's better for them?
1308
00:55:59,441 --> 00:56:00,976
- Look, put your hands out.
Come here.
1309
00:56:00,976 --> 00:56:02,478
- I put my hands out?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1310
00:56:02,478 --> 00:56:03,879
Like this.
- Oh, okay.
1311
00:56:03,879 --> 00:56:05,181
- Hold mine, okay.
1312
00:56:05,181 --> 00:56:07,483
Repeat after me.
1313
00:56:07,483 --> 00:56:10,319
Sometimes,
my opinions are wrong.
1314
00:56:10,319 --> 00:56:13,289
- Mm.
1315
00:56:13,289 --> 00:56:15,724
Sometimes,
my opinions are wrong.
1316
00:56:15,724 --> 00:56:20,529
- And sometimes, I hurt people
and myself when I judge them.
1317
00:56:20,529 --> 00:56:23,899
- Sometimes, I hurt people
and myself when I judge them.
1318
00:56:23,899 --> 00:56:25,301
- Mm-hmm.
1319
00:56:25,301 --> 00:56:26,969
- Okay.
1320
00:56:26,969 --> 00:56:29,138
- Yeah, and I need
to be a better listener,
1321
00:56:29,138 --> 00:56:33,342
and I need to be more
supportive of my daughter.
1322
00:56:33,342 --> 00:56:35,244
- You got a daughter?
1323
00:56:35,244 --> 00:56:39,114
- No, that one was for you.
1324
00:56:39,114 --> 00:56:41,584
- Oh.
- See what I'm saying?
1325
00:56:41,584 --> 00:56:43,686
- Uh-huh.
- Yeah.
1326
00:56:43,686 --> 00:56:44,954
- I see you.
1327
00:56:44,954 --> 00:56:46,956
- Did you get
what I was saying, though?
1328
00:56:46,956 --> 00:56:48,657
You understood?
1329
00:56:48,657 --> 00:56:52,928
- I'm--my daughter--
[laughs]
1330
00:56:52,928 --> 00:56:55,497
Whew!
She's just like her father.
1331
00:56:55,497 --> 00:56:57,099
- Okay.
- You know what I'm saying?
1332
00:56:57,099 --> 00:56:58,601
- Right.
1333
00:56:58,601 --> 00:57:00,436
- That's all I got
to say about it.
1334
00:57:00,436 --> 00:57:02,771
And I was--
1335
00:57:02,771 --> 00:57:05,941
I need to be more supportive
and listen.
1336
00:57:05,941 --> 00:57:07,409
- Mm-hmm.
1337
00:57:07,409 --> 00:57:09,144
- I can do that.
- You can do that?
1338
00:57:09,144 --> 00:57:10,546
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay!
1339
00:57:10,546 --> 00:57:12,514
All right.
- Yes, I can.
1340
00:57:12,514 --> 00:57:14,583
- Cool!
You enjoying that Sancerre?
1341
00:57:14,583 --> 00:57:17,052
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
1342
00:57:17,052 --> 00:57:20,122
It's good, ain't it?
1343
00:57:20,122 --> 00:57:22,925
It's that bubbly.
- [laughs]
1344
00:57:22,925 --> 00:57:24,860
It is good!
1345
00:57:24,860 --> 00:57:26,595
- Do you remember
when we were--
1346
00:57:26,595 --> 00:57:27,830
we had to do
the Christmas show?
1347
00:57:27,830 --> 00:57:28,998
- Mm-hmm.
1348
00:57:28,998 --> 00:57:31,100
- And you, like,
dumped me as a friend,
1349
00:57:31,100 --> 00:57:33,535
and then you started saying
really mean things about me
1350
00:57:33,535 --> 00:57:34,937
to like, the whole school.
1351
00:57:34,937 --> 00:57:36,238
Do you remember that?
1352
00:57:36,238 --> 00:57:38,641
- I didn't--no, no!
1353
00:57:38,641 --> 00:57:41,877
I don't remember--but wait.
Yo, where are those shots?
1354
00:57:43,712 --> 00:57:46,482
- No, yeah,
why would you--okay.
1355
00:57:46,482 --> 00:57:48,417
So I do remember, though.
- Yeah.
1356
00:57:48,417 --> 00:57:51,687
- And it was like a nightmare
for me, honestly.
1357
00:57:51,687 --> 00:57:54,123
And it just was
really weird for me,
1358
00:57:54,123 --> 00:57:56,692
because you went from,
like, being my best friend
1359
00:57:56,692 --> 00:57:59,061
in the whole world to, like,
then being my bully.
1360
00:57:59,061 --> 00:58:02,865
And it really--it, like,
messed me up, honestly, then,
1361
00:58:02,865 --> 00:58:05,200
and I kind of feel like
it still messes me up now.
1362
00:58:05,200 --> 00:58:07,069
- Yeah, dude,
but what are you talking about?
1363
00:58:07,069 --> 00:58:08,370
We were kids.
1364
00:58:08,370 --> 00:58:09,672
It's like
a bajillion years ago.
1365
00:58:09,672 --> 00:58:12,207
Come on!
Come on, we're past that.
1366
00:58:12,207 --> 00:58:13,776
- Yeah?
- We're good.
1367
00:58:13,776 --> 00:58:15,010
- Like, I'm already
really embarrassed,
1368
00:58:15,010 --> 00:58:16,412
and I feel like
the queen of idiots--
1369
00:58:16,412 --> 00:58:18,514
- ♪ It's a celebration ♪
1370
00:58:18,514 --> 00:58:23,585
- Oh, oh, oh!
It's jam time!
1371
00:58:23,585 --> 00:58:27,389
Get your ears out
because we about to party!
1372
00:58:27,389 --> 00:58:32,194
- ♪ So, baby, don't you
stop dancing with me ♪
1373
00:58:32,194 --> 00:58:35,965
♪ Holiday, holiday,
holiday, holiday, holiday ♪
1374
00:58:35,965 --> 00:58:38,734
♪ Holiday, holiday,
holiday, holiday ♪
1375
00:58:38,734 --> 00:58:41,570
♪ Holiday, holiday, holiday ♪
1376
00:58:41,570 --> 00:58:46,108
♪ So, baby, don't you stop ♪
1377
00:58:46,108 --> 00:58:50,079
- ♪ Let me hear you say,
I'm ready for the holiday ♪
1378
00:58:50,079 --> 00:58:53,816
♪ Call the family up,
tell 'em we're on our way ♪
1379
00:58:53,816 --> 00:58:55,884
♪ Trying to party
'cause we're going crazy ♪
1380
00:58:55,884 --> 00:58:57,853
- Um...
1381
00:58:57,853 --> 00:58:59,788
God, you told me
so much about you,
1382
00:58:59,788 --> 00:59:02,691
but you did not tell me how
great you were at miming.
1383
00:59:02,691 --> 00:59:05,561
- Oh, it is one
of my finest skills, milady.
1384
00:59:05,561 --> 00:59:08,497
- Well, that's very clear.
1385
00:59:10,132 --> 00:59:14,903
Oh, you might know
the answer to this.
1386
00:59:14,903 --> 00:59:16,605
Like, okay.
1387
00:59:16,605 --> 00:59:19,508
What is the mime for,
1388
00:59:19,508 --> 00:59:22,711
"I want to kiss you"?
1389
00:59:25,247 --> 00:59:27,016
- Wow, uh.
1390
00:59:27,016 --> 00:59:28,617
Okay, well, I uh--
1391
00:59:28,617 --> 00:59:30,452
I think it's just,
1392
00:59:30,452 --> 00:59:32,154
lean in
1393
00:59:32,154 --> 00:59:35,491
and purse your lips,
1394
00:59:35,491 --> 00:59:37,593
and you close your eyes.
1395
00:59:45,234 --> 00:59:47,236
- Good to know.
Thank you.
1396
00:59:47,236 --> 00:59:48,237
Thanks for telling me.
1397
00:59:48,237 --> 00:59:50,939
That's, uh, maybe I'll--
1398
00:59:50,939 --> 00:59:53,442
I'm gonna--I should get her
home because she's drunk.
1399
00:59:53,442 --> 00:59:55,277
- Totally cool, yeah.
- Yeah, hey!
1400
00:59:55,277 --> 00:59:58,180
Ginger, get--
- What?
1401
00:59:58,180 --> 01:00:00,849
- All right, stop dancing!
1402
01:00:03,085 --> 01:00:06,555
[imitates radio jingle]
1403
01:00:06,555 --> 01:00:11,126
Well, KLDA Nation,
I choked again.
1404
01:00:11,126 --> 01:00:15,564
I have no idea what I'm
writing to Santa tomorrow,
1405
01:00:15,564 --> 01:00:17,833
and I'm gonna be stuck here
1406
01:00:17,833 --> 01:00:21,470
in a world
made entirely of fruitcake.
1407
01:00:21,470 --> 01:00:25,908
[imitates airhorn]
1408
01:00:28,710 --> 01:00:32,648
"I think this one looks nice
here after all."
1409
01:00:35,184 --> 01:00:38,053
Aw, Mom.
1410
01:00:39,588 --> 01:00:41,557
[sighs]
1411
01:00:41,557 --> 01:00:44,860
That's so nice.
1412
01:00:44,860 --> 01:00:48,030
["Joy to the World" playing]
1413
01:00:48,030 --> 01:00:54,937
♪ ♪
1414
01:00:56,038 --> 01:00:57,573
- Good morning.
1415
01:00:57,573 --> 01:01:01,276
- Is it?
But I am glad you're up.
1416
01:01:01,276 --> 01:01:02,611
- Thank you.
1417
01:01:02,611 --> 01:01:04,279
I was really glad to get
your note last night.
1418
01:01:04,279 --> 01:01:05,848
That ornament is super cute.
1419
01:01:05,848 --> 01:01:09,318
- You know, I have been
thinking about that.
1420
01:01:09,318 --> 01:01:10,752
It should go in the back
1421
01:01:10,752 --> 01:01:14,523
because it does not fit
my vision.
1422
01:01:14,523 --> 01:01:16,425
- Okay.
Well, it's no use.
1423
01:01:16,425 --> 01:01:17,893
How can I be helpful?
1424
01:01:17,893 --> 01:01:20,629
- Well, I have to spray paint
the banister gold,
1425
01:01:20,629 --> 01:01:22,598
then I have to go
and set up a meeting
1426
01:01:22,598 --> 01:01:25,400
with that incompetent bartender
about what
1427
01:01:25,400 --> 01:01:27,336
our signature cocktail...
- Oh, I'll settle that.
1428
01:01:27,336 --> 01:01:29,538
- Is going to be, and--Emily?
1429
01:01:29,538 --> 01:01:32,541
[upbeat music]
1430
01:01:32,541 --> 01:01:34,977
♪ ♪
1431
01:01:34,977 --> 01:01:37,412
- Way to grab the reindeer
by the antlers.
1432
01:01:37,412 --> 01:01:40,449
I might have a shot at this.
1433
01:01:40,449 --> 01:01:42,417
Six hours to midnight?
1434
01:01:42,417 --> 01:01:45,687
[bell dings]
1435
01:01:45,687 --> 01:01:48,190
- Okay, people.
1436
01:01:48,190 --> 01:01:51,827
The judges will be here
at 7:00 sharp,
1437
01:01:51,827 --> 01:01:55,264
and I want everyone
to be whistling Christmas
1438
01:01:55,264 --> 01:01:58,267
out of their buttholes
when they get here.
1439
01:01:58,267 --> 01:01:59,835
Excuse my French.
1440
01:01:59,835 --> 01:02:02,337
- Uh, who is this woman?
1441
01:02:02,337 --> 01:02:04,540
- That's the competition.
1442
01:02:04,540 --> 01:02:05,941
You can let her in the house,
1443
01:02:05,941 --> 01:02:08,544
you can serve her
cocktails and canapés,
1444
01:02:08,544 --> 01:02:11,680
but do not let her
touch my trees.
1445
01:02:11,680 --> 01:02:13,782
If she comes within
1446
01:02:13,782 --> 01:02:19,021
a 3-foot radius of my trees...
1447
01:02:19,021 --> 01:02:21,857
Then you have my permission
to use force.
1448
01:02:21,857 --> 01:02:23,625
- Yeah.
- That's crazy.
1449
01:02:23,625 --> 01:02:25,561
Uh, look.
You need to talk to your mama.
1450
01:02:25,561 --> 01:02:26,895
You are running out of time.
1451
01:02:26,895 --> 01:02:28,597
- Does she look like someone
who's capable
1452
01:02:28,597 --> 01:02:30,098
of being talked to?
1453
01:02:30,098 --> 01:02:33,302
She's not gonna change, okay?
She's who she is.
1454
01:02:33,302 --> 01:02:35,637
I have a few questions
about Wyatt, though.
1455
01:02:35,637 --> 01:02:37,139
- Uh, look.
1456
01:02:37,139 --> 01:02:39,041
She might be more ready
to change than you think.
1457
01:02:39,041 --> 01:02:41,777
- Mm, absolutely not.
Impossible.
1458
01:02:41,777 --> 01:02:43,245
Here's my question, though.
- Okay.
1459
01:02:43,245 --> 01:02:45,380
- Like, let's say I do
write this letter to Santa
1460
01:02:45,380 --> 01:02:46,949
tomorrow, right?
1461
01:02:46,949 --> 01:02:48,784
Okay, so like, then what
happens back in the real world?
1462
01:02:48,784 --> 01:02:49,918
Like, does my mom
become normal?
1463
01:02:49,918 --> 01:02:51,787
Do I stand up to Ginger?
1464
01:02:51,787 --> 01:02:54,790
Does, like--
will I be able to find Wyatt?
1465
01:02:54,790 --> 01:02:57,859
Like, what exactly is the black
magic we're working with here?
1466
01:02:57,859 --> 01:02:59,228
- Okay, okay, look, look.
1467
01:02:59,228 --> 01:03:01,363
You found him before,
you can find him again.
1468
01:03:01,363 --> 01:03:03,065
And Ginger might surprise you.
1469
01:03:03,065 --> 01:03:04,700
And your mom, for that matter.
1470
01:03:04,700 --> 01:03:06,368
- All right, you're just saying
that to save your own ass.
1471
01:03:06,368 --> 01:03:07,836
- No, no, no.
1472
01:03:07,836 --> 01:03:09,171
I'm saying it because I care
about you, all right?
1473
01:03:09,171 --> 01:03:11,540
And I'm pretty sure
that lady's hair
1474
01:03:11,540 --> 01:03:13,609
was not made out of fruitcake.
1475
01:03:13,609 --> 01:03:16,111
- Oh, damn, it's spreading.
- Yeah.
1476
01:03:16,111 --> 01:03:17,813
- Look, I got to go
finish getting ready.
1477
01:03:17,813 --> 01:03:19,414
Lorraine is gonna
blow a gasket
1478
01:03:19,414 --> 01:03:21,617
if I'm not "picture-perfect by
the time the judges get here."
1479
01:03:21,617 --> 01:03:23,785
I just don't think any
of this makes any sense to do.
1480
01:03:23,785 --> 01:03:25,487
It's not worth it.
- Damn it!
1481
01:03:25,487 --> 01:03:27,623
Thought I was getting
through to these people.
1482
01:03:27,623 --> 01:03:29,725
Oh, humans!
1483
01:03:29,725 --> 01:03:32,227
[slurping]
1484
01:03:32,227 --> 01:03:35,664
♪ ♪
1485
01:03:35,664 --> 01:03:38,367
- [sighs quietly]
1486
01:03:48,310 --> 01:03:49,778
Enough.
1487
01:03:54,483 --> 01:03:58,720
- ♪ Joy to the world,
the Lord is come ♪
1488
01:03:58,720 --> 01:04:03,192
♪ Let Earth receive her King ♪
1489
01:04:03,192 --> 01:04:07,763
♪ Let every heart
prepare Him room ♪
1490
01:04:07,763 --> 01:04:09,898
- Sure.
1491
01:04:09,898 --> 01:04:13,402
- ♪ Let heaven
and nature sing ♪
1492
01:04:13,402 --> 01:04:16,138
- Linda!
- Lorraine.
1493
01:04:16,138 --> 01:04:18,807
- You remember my successful,
1494
01:04:18,807 --> 01:04:21,743
high SAT scoring daughter,
Emily?
1495
01:04:21,743 --> 01:04:23,912
- Of course.
Nice to see you, Emily.
1496
01:04:23,912 --> 01:04:25,481
I love your dress.
1497
01:04:25,481 --> 01:04:28,550
- Thank you so much!
It's actually my favorite.
1498
01:04:28,550 --> 01:04:30,519
- [chuckles]
- Oh.
1499
01:04:30,519 --> 01:04:32,888
- Unfortunately,
my daughter couldn't make it.
1500
01:04:32,888 --> 01:04:36,425
She's on duty again
in the Congo.
1501
01:04:36,425 --> 01:04:38,727
Doctors Without Borders.
1502
01:04:38,727 --> 01:04:40,696
Such noble work.
1503
01:04:40,696 --> 01:04:43,265
Yes, she's a doctor.
- Thank the Lord.
1504
01:04:43,265 --> 01:04:45,767
My daughter
is dating a dentist.
1505
01:04:45,767 --> 01:04:47,302
- Wow.
1506
01:04:47,302 --> 01:04:50,939
Mom, I'm actually not gonna
do this with you tonight.
1507
01:04:50,939 --> 01:04:53,909
Linda, good luck tonight.
1508
01:04:55,777 --> 01:04:57,946
- My baby has jokes.
1509
01:04:59,548 --> 01:05:01,884
- Oh, oh!
1510
01:05:01,884 --> 01:05:04,453
Oh, you must be
so proud of your mom.
1511
01:05:04,453 --> 01:05:06,054
What a perfect family.
1512
01:05:06,054 --> 01:05:07,689
- We're announcing
the winner tomorrow,
1513
01:05:07,689 --> 01:05:09,291
and I'm sure you'll be pleased.
1514
01:05:09,291 --> 01:05:11,226
- Thank you.
Thank you very much.
1515
01:05:11,226 --> 01:05:12,594
Have a good day.
1516
01:05:12,594 --> 01:05:15,397
Honey, why don't you take
a picture with Santa?
1517
01:05:15,397 --> 01:05:17,099
- All right.
1518
01:05:17,099 --> 01:05:19,635
- What are you asking
Santa for, little missy?
1519
01:05:19,635 --> 01:05:21,036
- I don't know.
I don't know.
1520
01:05:21,036 --> 01:05:22,404
Just take--can you take--
- Okay, baby.
1521
01:05:22,404 --> 01:05:24,573
Here we go.
Thank you, darling.
1522
01:05:24,573 --> 01:05:26,074
It's so perfect.
1523
01:05:26,074 --> 01:05:29,411
- Okay, all right,
all right, all right.
1524
01:05:29,411 --> 01:05:31,013
- Why you touch
my girl like that?
1525
01:05:31,013 --> 01:05:32,581
- I didn't touch her.
1526
01:05:32,581 --> 01:05:34,316
I just leaned a little bit,
and you took a picture.
1527
01:05:34,316 --> 01:05:36,118
- I took a--
I took a picture.
1528
01:05:36,118 --> 01:05:37,452
Get your ass in there,
go to work.
1529
01:05:37,452 --> 01:05:38,854
What's the matter with you?
Took a picture.
1530
01:05:38,854 --> 01:05:39,988
If you touch another
woman here today,
1531
01:05:39,988 --> 01:05:41,957
I'ma kick your ass.
1532
01:05:46,662 --> 01:05:49,398
- Emily.
1533
01:05:49,398 --> 01:05:52,167
Try to leave some canapés
for the guests.
1534
01:05:52,167 --> 01:05:54,703
It's not like
you have much room
1535
01:05:54,703 --> 01:05:57,205
to breathe in that dress.
1536
01:05:57,205 --> 01:05:59,541
Heaven forbid
you listen to me once.
1537
01:05:59,541 --> 01:06:01,543
Did you even try the red one?
1538
01:06:01,543 --> 01:06:03,512
- I'm so sorry, I have--
1539
01:06:03,512 --> 01:06:05,847
- Ugh!
- Thank you!
1540
01:06:12,621 --> 01:06:15,223
- Hello, my love.
1541
01:06:15,223 --> 01:06:17,459
- Oh, you must be kidding me.
1542
01:06:17,459 --> 01:06:20,495
- Oh, I would never joke about
something as pure and natural
1543
01:06:20,495 --> 01:06:21,997
as my devotion for you.
1544
01:06:21,997 --> 01:06:23,932
I brought you this.
1545
01:06:23,932 --> 01:06:26,034
May I feed it to you
like the goddess you are?
1546
01:06:26,034 --> 01:06:29,471
- Don't worry about it
because you're about to go!
1547
01:06:29,471 --> 01:06:31,773
I said goodbye!
1548
01:06:31,773 --> 01:06:35,143
I said--what if I--good day!
1549
01:06:36,612 --> 01:06:38,413
Thank you.
Thanks for this.
1550
01:06:38,413 --> 01:06:39,514
That's sweet.
1551
01:06:39,514 --> 01:06:41,683
- Portrait time!
1552
01:06:41,683 --> 01:06:44,886
[indistinct chatter]
1553
01:06:44,886 --> 01:06:46,588
Portrait time!
1554
01:06:46,588 --> 01:06:48,223
[indistinct chatter]
1555
01:06:48,223 --> 01:06:49,791
Come on.
1556
01:06:52,794 --> 01:06:54,796
- Okay.
1557
01:06:54,796 --> 01:06:57,332
You ready?
1558
01:06:57,332 --> 01:06:59,701
- Yeah.
Something is not right.
1559
01:06:59,701 --> 01:07:02,070
- It's the dress isn't it?
1560
01:07:02,070 --> 01:07:04,072
Baby, why don't you
just go up and change?
1561
01:07:04,072 --> 01:07:06,742
- Do I just disgust you,
or is there anything
1562
01:07:06,742 --> 01:07:08,877
you actually like about me?
1563
01:07:08,877 --> 01:07:11,146
No, no nogtinis!
1564
01:07:11,146 --> 01:07:12,881
- Lower your voice.
Everyone's watching.
1565
01:07:12,881 --> 01:07:15,117
- No, Lorraine!
You need to answer me.
1566
01:07:15,117 --> 01:07:18,186
- You're my daughter.
I love you.
1567
01:07:18,186 --> 01:07:20,355
- But do you like me?
1568
01:07:20,355 --> 01:07:23,625
My dress is too tight.
I make too many jokes.
1569
01:07:23,625 --> 01:07:24,993
I eat too many canapés.
1570
01:07:24,993 --> 01:07:26,561
What do you actually
like about me?
1571
01:07:26,561 --> 01:07:29,364
- Now is not the time
or the place, young lady.
1572
01:07:29,364 --> 01:07:31,767
- I have actually just wasted
so much time
1573
01:07:31,767 --> 01:07:34,336
letting everyone
walk all over me.
1574
01:07:34,336 --> 01:07:36,738
My friends, my mom,
the radio station.
1575
01:07:36,738 --> 01:07:37,973
But enough!
1576
01:07:37,973 --> 01:07:39,641
Have you ever once
thought about what
1577
01:07:39,641 --> 01:07:43,211
it was like for me to be
your daughter, Mrs. Perfect?
1578
01:07:43,211 --> 01:07:46,882
What it's like for me to exist
while everyone around me
1579
01:07:46,882 --> 01:07:49,317
makes me feel like I don't
even deserve to love myself
1580
01:07:49,317 --> 01:07:50,919
because
of the ass-backwards way
1581
01:07:50,919 --> 01:07:53,155
that this world judges women?
1582
01:07:53,155 --> 01:07:56,491
And every comment you make
just brings me right back
1583
01:07:56,491 --> 01:07:59,695
to being that shy
and insecure little girl
1584
01:07:59,695 --> 01:08:01,596
from freshman year.
1585
01:08:01,596 --> 01:08:04,866
She's always with me,
1586
01:08:04,866 --> 01:08:07,803
always telling me
to be small and quiet,
1587
01:08:07,803 --> 01:08:11,206
and telling me not to be honest
about how I'm feeling.
1588
01:08:11,206 --> 01:08:13,942
And I am exhausted!
1589
01:08:13,942 --> 01:08:16,378
That's why I don't
come back here!
1590
01:08:16,378 --> 01:08:19,147
- I have only been
making suggestions.
1591
01:08:19,147 --> 01:08:22,784
- Baby, it's time to listen.
1592
01:08:22,784 --> 01:08:26,154
- Mom,
you have spent a lifetime
1593
01:08:26,154 --> 01:08:28,990
suggesting everything
that was wrong with me,
1594
01:08:28,990 --> 01:08:31,426
validating every single bully
I have ever had,
1595
01:08:31,426 --> 01:08:34,196
and all I wanted you to do
was just look at me one time
1596
01:08:34,196 --> 01:08:36,531
and suggest
what was right about me!
1597
01:08:39,134 --> 01:08:41,403
- Why didn't you say anything?
1598
01:08:41,403 --> 01:08:43,839
- Because as much as I
want to be close to you
1599
01:08:43,839 --> 01:08:45,674
and tell you all of this stuff,
1600
01:08:45,674 --> 01:08:48,110
you are not
the easiest person to talk to.
1601
01:08:48,110 --> 01:08:51,279
- Oh, well,
I wouldn't say that.
1602
01:08:51,279 --> 01:08:53,548
- Look, I learned
this week that talking
1603
01:08:53,548 --> 01:08:56,218
about your feelings is actually
really, really important,
1604
01:08:56,218 --> 01:08:57,986
and so is standing up
for yourself
1605
01:08:57,986 --> 01:09:00,055
and asking for what you want.
1606
01:09:00,055 --> 01:09:01,490
- That's my girl.
1607
01:09:01,490 --> 01:09:04,493
- So there will be no more
of me doubting myself
1608
01:09:04,493 --> 01:09:07,195
and no more of me
not asking for what I want.
1609
01:09:07,195 --> 01:09:09,064
That is not who I am anymore.
1610
01:09:09,064 --> 01:09:12,601
- Yes, partner!
Preach!
1611
01:09:12,601 --> 01:09:16,104
- Oh, bitch,
I know you not talking.
1612
01:09:16,104 --> 01:09:18,173
Ginger, you were my bully.
1613
01:09:18,173 --> 01:09:20,208
Do you get that?
1614
01:09:20,208 --> 01:09:22,878
And no, we are not over it.
1615
01:09:22,878 --> 01:09:25,180
I'm not over anything.
1616
01:09:25,180 --> 01:09:27,015
And the messed up part
is I actually like you,
1617
01:09:27,015 --> 01:09:29,217
and we're friends now,
but being friends
1618
01:09:29,217 --> 01:09:30,619
means being honest.
1619
01:09:30,619 --> 01:09:32,654
And you honestly need
to acknowledge
1620
01:09:32,654 --> 01:09:33,955
what you did to me.
1621
01:09:33,955 --> 01:09:35,757
And you need to apologize.
1622
01:09:35,757 --> 01:09:38,593
Maybe then we can be good.
1623
01:09:40,228 --> 01:09:42,230
No, no.
Let me tell you something.
1624
01:09:42,230 --> 01:09:43,799
We are not in love.
1625
01:09:43,799 --> 01:09:47,435
Go on somewhere and find
your happiness outside of me!
1626
01:09:47,435 --> 01:09:48,804
And you!
1627
01:09:48,804 --> 01:09:50,205
Wyatt!
1628
01:09:50,205 --> 01:09:51,740
How dare you!
1629
01:09:51,740 --> 01:09:55,210
Why would you show up
in this insane Santa reality?
1630
01:09:55,210 --> 01:09:57,646
Huh?
And the thing is, I like you.
1631
01:09:57,646 --> 01:09:59,014
So do me a favor, okay?
1632
01:09:59,014 --> 01:10:00,615
This isn't gonna
make any sense,
1633
01:10:00,615 --> 01:10:03,451
but in a few days
when a really cute,
1634
01:10:03,451 --> 01:10:05,554
a little bit plump
with a booty,
1635
01:10:05,554 --> 01:10:08,023
self-assured girl
comes up to you
1636
01:10:08,023 --> 01:10:10,025
and shoots her shot,
just say yes.
1637
01:10:10,025 --> 01:10:11,426
Huh?
Just say yes.
1638
01:10:11,426 --> 01:10:12,761
Because I
can flip my tongue over,
1639
01:10:12,761 --> 01:10:14,896
and only one in 10,000 people
can do that.
1640
01:10:14,896 --> 01:10:16,364
You're gonna miss out on that.
1641
01:10:16,364 --> 01:10:21,102
And I know that I sound angry,
but I am not mad at you!
1642
01:10:21,102 --> 01:10:22,971
And this tree!
1643
01:10:22,971 --> 01:10:25,173
Move!
1644
01:10:25,173 --> 01:10:28,577
[all gasping]
1645
01:10:28,577 --> 01:10:31,146
- How dare you!
You stole my mom!
1646
01:10:31,146 --> 01:10:33,081
- Okay, get it out.
Get it out.
1647
01:10:33,081 --> 01:10:34,983
Yeah.
1648
01:10:34,983 --> 01:10:37,752
- No, not my tree!
Not Goldy!
1649
01:10:37,752 --> 01:10:39,821
Not Goldy!
1650
01:10:39,821 --> 01:10:41,756
[sobbing]
1651
01:10:41,756 --> 01:10:46,528
No, no, no!
- Oh, that's not right.
1652
01:10:46,528 --> 01:10:49,064
- Stop it, stop it,
stop it, stop it!
1653
01:10:49,064 --> 01:10:52,300
- [screaming]
- [screaming]
1654
01:10:52,300 --> 01:10:55,971
- Ahh!
[groans]
1655
01:10:55,971 --> 01:10:57,973
- No.
1656
01:10:57,973 --> 01:11:00,041
- ♪ Oh, I'm so happy ♪
1657
01:11:00,041 --> 01:11:02,110
- Feel good, feel good?
1658
01:11:02,110 --> 01:11:04,346
- Peace out, kings and queens!
1659
01:11:04,346 --> 01:11:07,883
- ♪ It's a celebration ♪
1660
01:11:07,883 --> 01:11:13,054
- Oh, yeah, they definitely win
for Best Entertainment.
1661
01:11:13,054 --> 01:11:15,156
Oh!
1662
01:11:15,156 --> 01:11:18,560
- Oh, don't you say it.
- Say what?
1663
01:11:18,560 --> 01:11:20,595
- That you were right
about everything.
1664
01:11:20,595 --> 01:11:22,163
- Okay, as much
as I like being right,
1665
01:11:22,163 --> 01:11:24,399
this is not bringing
me Christmas joy.
1666
01:11:24,399 --> 01:11:26,201
You still got some time.
- You think so?
1667
01:11:26,201 --> 01:11:27,869
- Yeah, go talk to her.
- Talk to her.
1668
01:11:27,869 --> 01:11:30,038
Emily, oh!
1669
01:11:30,038 --> 01:11:32,540
- Are we gonna?
1670
01:11:32,540 --> 01:11:34,242
No, I'm gonna--
yeah.
1671
01:11:34,242 --> 01:11:36,645
- Make it right.
1672
01:11:36,645 --> 01:11:38,246
♪ ♪
1673
01:11:38,246 --> 01:11:41,149
Okay!
Come on, DJ!
1674
01:11:41,149 --> 01:11:42,584
DJ!
1675
01:11:42,584 --> 01:11:45,620
All right!
Y'all better come on.
1676
01:11:45,620 --> 01:11:47,756
Come on, uh, uh!
1677
01:11:47,756 --> 01:11:48,957
Come on.
1678
01:11:48,957 --> 01:11:50,592
Michael.
Michael.
1679
01:11:50,592 --> 01:11:52,661
Come on, you get in there.
Let me see what you got.
1680
01:11:52,661 --> 01:11:54,696
Hey, hey!
1681
01:11:56,831 --> 01:11:59,334
- [chuckling]
1682
01:11:59,334 --> 01:12:01,469
Oh, my God.
1683
01:12:05,373 --> 01:12:08,376
KLDA listeners, it's me, Emily,
1684
01:12:08,376 --> 01:12:10,011
and I'm finally
1685
01:12:10,011 --> 01:12:13,882
a boss-ass bitch.
1686
01:12:13,882 --> 01:12:18,653
[imitates airhorn]
1687
01:12:26,728 --> 01:12:29,097
- I've said everything
I needed to say.
1688
01:12:29,097 --> 01:12:30,899
- You're right.
1689
01:12:30,899 --> 01:12:34,102
And I'm so glad that you had
a chance to say everything
1690
01:12:34,102 --> 01:12:38,206
you needed to say because I
have a few things to say too
1691
01:12:38,206 --> 01:12:40,242
if that's okay with you.
1692
01:12:40,242 --> 01:12:42,477
- Go ahead.
1693
01:12:46,948 --> 01:12:48,617
- You were right.
1694
01:12:48,617 --> 01:12:51,052
I tried to control everything,
1695
01:12:51,052 --> 01:12:54,322
to make everything perfect,
1696
01:12:54,322 --> 01:12:57,292
and that makes me
a terrible listener,
1697
01:12:57,292 --> 01:12:59,261
a terrible mother.
1698
01:12:59,261 --> 01:13:01,196
But let me say this,
you have to know
1699
01:13:01,196 --> 01:13:03,598
that I like you.
1700
01:13:03,598 --> 01:13:06,334
You're funny.
You're smart.
1701
01:13:06,334 --> 01:13:08,637
Oh, you're so funny sometimes,
1702
01:13:08,637 --> 01:13:10,772
the jokes you make
I don't even understand.
1703
01:13:10,772 --> 01:13:13,041
But that's not your fault.
That's my fault.
1704
01:13:13,041 --> 01:13:15,777
Because I'm not funny.
1705
01:13:15,777 --> 01:13:19,281
You know, I thought
that if I could just
1706
01:13:19,281 --> 01:13:23,485
make everything perfect,
make myself perfect,
1707
01:13:23,485 --> 01:13:28,390
just push harder,
you guys would
1708
01:13:28,390 --> 01:13:32,327
be proud of me.
1709
01:13:32,327 --> 01:13:36,331
Because I could
take care of you.
1710
01:13:36,331 --> 01:13:39,801
But you're already perfect
because you're you.
1711
01:13:39,801 --> 01:13:44,206
And I should have been
telling you that all the time.
1712
01:13:44,206 --> 01:13:49,144
I just wonder now,
1713
01:13:49,144 --> 01:13:50,745
is it too late?
1714
01:13:52,747 --> 01:13:54,349
- No.
1715
01:13:54,349 --> 01:13:55,917
Of course it's not too late.
1716
01:13:55,917 --> 01:13:57,919
It's Christmas,
for Christ's sakes.
1717
01:13:57,919 --> 01:14:00,322
It's never too late.
1718
01:14:00,322 --> 01:14:02,691
- Okay, okay.
1719
01:14:04,759 --> 01:14:06,461
- Geez.
1720
01:14:06,461 --> 01:14:11,166
Right,
that's a tough act to follow.
1721
01:14:11,166 --> 01:14:14,202
But you're right, Em.
1722
01:14:14,202 --> 01:14:18,873
You're--you are
so totally beyond right.
1723
01:14:25,480 --> 01:14:28,216
I know I bullied you.
1724
01:14:28,216 --> 01:14:31,620
God, I was so mean.
1725
01:14:31,620 --> 01:14:33,488
It's really hard for me
to think about sometimes,
1726
01:14:33,488 --> 01:14:37,826
but I've been talking
about it in therapy, so--
1727
01:14:37,826 --> 01:14:39,761
I was an insecure
piece of crap,
1728
01:14:39,761 --> 01:14:42,897
and I took it out on you,
and you didn't deserve that.
1729
01:14:42,897 --> 01:14:45,233
You're so beautiful.
1730
01:14:45,233 --> 01:14:47,402
I'm so sorry if I
ever made you doubt that.
1731
01:14:49,437 --> 01:14:51,539
You're my best bitch, bitch!
1732
01:14:51,539 --> 01:14:54,476
- Oh, my God, come here.
1733
01:15:00,115 --> 01:15:01,816
- Get it, girl.
1734
01:15:02,951 --> 01:15:04,352
- Hey.
- Hey.
1735
01:15:04,352 --> 01:15:06,321
Hey.
Enjoying the party?
1736
01:15:06,321 --> 01:15:08,089
- Oh, yeah,
I'm having a good time.
1737
01:15:08,089 --> 01:15:10,558
Someone assaulted a tree.
1738
01:15:10,558 --> 01:15:12,060
- I know.
I saw that.
1739
01:15:12,060 --> 01:15:13,228
She's crazy.
- Yeah.
1740
01:15:13,228 --> 01:15:14,529
- She's unhinged.
1741
01:15:14,529 --> 01:15:16,097
- I wouldn't let
that person go to a forest
1742
01:15:16,097 --> 01:15:18,633
because then that--you're
in the tree's territory, so--
1743
01:15:18,633 --> 01:15:22,103
- She gon' get jumped.
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
1744
01:15:22,103 --> 01:15:23,538
I just--
1745
01:15:23,538 --> 01:15:25,807
I just want to say
I loved how you stood up
1746
01:15:25,807 --> 01:15:28,276
to everyone in there, and I--
1747
01:15:28,276 --> 01:15:29,944
I think you're incredible.
1748
01:15:29,944 --> 01:15:32,247
And I'm not really sure
what you meant when you asked
1749
01:15:32,247 --> 01:15:34,716
about this mystery person
who might ask me a question,
1750
01:15:34,716 --> 01:15:36,951
but I will definitely say yes.
1751
01:15:36,951 --> 01:15:39,854
And if I'm being honest,
it kind of sounds like
1752
01:15:39,854 --> 01:15:42,257
an invitation to an orgy,
which I've never done.
1753
01:15:42,257 --> 01:15:44,592
Not to say I'm not,
you know, I can't be a freak.
1754
01:15:44,592 --> 01:15:47,696
I'm a freak.
I get freaky.
1755
01:15:47,696 --> 01:15:50,231
Not like freaky, ugh.
Like freaky, hmm.
1756
01:15:50,231 --> 01:15:52,534
- But rated on a scale?
1757
01:15:52,534 --> 01:15:54,369
- A moderate six.
1758
01:15:54,369 --> 01:15:56,137
You know.
- I could work with that.
1759
01:15:56,137 --> 01:15:57,706
- Yeah, yeah.
1760
01:15:57,706 --> 01:16:01,910
Well, good, because whenever
you meet an Emily, you know,
1761
01:16:01,910 --> 01:16:03,912
you kind of want
to hang on to them.
1762
01:16:03,912 --> 01:16:08,450
So you know,
I might push it to a seven.
1763
01:16:08,450 --> 01:16:09,851
- We'll get you to eight.
1764
01:16:09,851 --> 01:16:11,920
- Ooh!
1765
01:16:11,920 --> 01:16:14,222
Oh.
1766
01:16:14,222 --> 01:16:17,192
[tender music]
1767
01:16:17,192 --> 01:16:22,664
♪ ♪
1768
01:16:22,664 --> 01:16:25,266
- Emily, you want
to go back into the party
1769
01:16:25,266 --> 01:16:28,169
and have a good time?
1770
01:16:28,169 --> 01:16:30,438
- Yes.
Um, yeah.
1771
01:16:30,438 --> 01:16:32,040
- Yep.
1772
01:16:32,040 --> 01:16:33,441
- But I'm gonna be in
in a little bit.
1773
01:16:33,441 --> 01:16:34,876
I have to go--
1774
01:16:34,876 --> 01:16:36,177
I actually have
to go do something.
1775
01:16:36,177 --> 01:16:38,146
- I got a job to do.
- Yeah, totally, totally.
1776
01:16:38,146 --> 01:16:39,714
I'll meet you in there, though.
1777
01:16:39,714 --> 01:16:42,584
- All right.
- We'll get you at a nine.
1778
01:16:42,584 --> 01:16:45,020
[exhales]
Okay.
1779
01:16:47,422 --> 01:16:50,325
- It really is a lovely tree.
1780
01:16:50,325 --> 01:16:52,293
You okay?
1781
01:16:52,293 --> 01:16:54,396
- I think I will be.
1782
01:16:56,331 --> 01:16:59,801
- You know, we've had
an opening at the rummy table
1783
01:16:59,801 --> 01:17:01,703
if that doesn't
sound too awful.
1784
01:17:01,703 --> 01:17:03,738
- Oh, I'd love that!
1785
01:17:03,738 --> 01:17:06,775
- Oh, if you don't mind
messy pajamas
1786
01:17:06,775 --> 01:17:08,710
and too many Sancerres.
1787
01:17:08,710 --> 01:17:12,313
- Oh, I love Sancerres,
and the messier the better.
1788
01:17:12,313 --> 01:17:17,185
I am just exhausted
with all this perfection stuff.
1789
01:17:17,185 --> 01:17:19,053
Could you help me with this?
1790
01:17:19,053 --> 01:17:21,122
- Sure, hold these.
1791
01:17:21,122 --> 01:17:24,025
Okay, I got it.
1792
01:17:24,025 --> 01:17:26,361
- There you go.
Oh, I think it's right.
1793
01:17:26,361 --> 01:17:27,595
It's perfect.
1794
01:17:29,957 --> 01:17:33,160
[soft music]
1795
01:17:33,160 --> 01:17:36,063
- What, what, what, what, what.
1796
01:17:36,063 --> 01:17:38,665
- Oh.
[laughs]
1797
01:17:40,300 --> 01:17:41,802
You ready to do this?
1798
01:17:41,802 --> 01:17:44,872
- Yes, did you leave the rest
of B2K at the party?
1799
01:17:44,872 --> 01:17:46,974
- [laughs]
1800
01:17:46,974 --> 01:17:49,209
You know,
Omarion didn't show up.
1801
01:17:49,209 --> 01:17:51,278
- Didn't he?
- Yeah, yeah.
1802
01:17:51,278 --> 01:17:53,414
All right, here you go.
1803
01:17:53,414 --> 01:17:55,983
- You already know.
- Let's do this.
1804
01:17:55,983 --> 01:17:58,018
- Let's do it.
1805
01:17:58,018 --> 01:18:01,822
♪ ♪
1806
01:18:01,822 --> 01:18:04,358
Okay.
1807
01:18:04,358 --> 01:18:07,694
Dear Santa, wow, what a ride,
1808
01:18:07,694 --> 01:18:10,230
you mischievous SOB, you.
1809
01:18:10,230 --> 01:18:14,668
Anyway, what I really wanted
to say was, thank you.
1810
01:18:14,668 --> 01:18:16,236
I found my voice.
1811
01:18:16,236 --> 01:18:19,039
Ironic for someone
who wants to be a DJ.
1812
01:18:19,039 --> 01:18:22,843
Thing is,
it was in me the whole time.
1813
01:18:22,843 --> 01:18:25,612
I just let the world
tell me it wasn't.
1814
01:18:25,612 --> 01:18:30,250
PS, Wolf did a stellar job.
1815
01:18:30,250 --> 01:18:32,986
Thanks for reminding me
that I'm a queen.
1816
01:18:32,986 --> 01:18:36,824
B-T-dubs, if you want to keep
that dance circle thing,
1817
01:18:36,824 --> 01:18:39,059
I'm cool with that.
1818
01:18:39,059 --> 01:18:41,128
Here goes everything.
1819
01:18:41,128 --> 01:18:43,030
♪ ♪
1820
01:18:43,030 --> 01:18:45,165
There's one more thing
we need to do.
1821
01:18:45,165 --> 01:18:47,534
- Okay.
1822
01:18:47,534 --> 01:18:49,503
Ready?
1823
01:18:49,503 --> 01:18:52,406
- Let's do it together.
One, two, three.
1824
01:18:52,406 --> 01:18:53,874
[bell dings]
1825
01:18:53,874 --> 01:18:55,509
- ♪ It's a celebration ♪
1826
01:18:55,509 --> 01:18:57,811
- Out of my way.
1827
01:18:57,811 --> 01:19:00,814
- ♪ Get ready
for the holidays ♪
1828
01:19:00,814 --> 01:19:04,718
♪ Yeah it's a celebration ♪
1829
01:19:04,718 --> 01:19:08,388
♪ ♪
1830
01:19:08,388 --> 01:19:11,692
♪ It's what we make it ♪
1831
01:19:11,692 --> 01:19:16,597
- Yeah!
[laughs]
1832
01:19:16,597 --> 01:19:20,067
I am a boss-ass bitch!
1833
01:19:20,067 --> 01:19:21,768
Boss-ass bitch!
1834
01:19:21,768 --> 01:19:23,770
all: Boss-ass bitch!
1835
01:19:23,770 --> 01:19:27,107
Boss-ass bitch!
- Whoo!
1836
01:19:29,443 --> 01:19:32,813
- Emily, breakfast!
1837
01:19:32,813 --> 01:19:36,783
- Oh, damn, it didn't work.
1838
01:19:36,783 --> 01:19:38,252
- Emily.
- [gasps]
1839
01:19:38,252 --> 01:19:41,622
- Oh, no, the Tooth Fairy!
1840
01:19:41,622 --> 01:19:43,657
Am I gonna turn into fruitcake?
1841
01:19:43,657 --> 01:19:45,759
Oh, my God, that is
a terrible way to die.
1842
01:19:45,759 --> 01:19:47,427
Why would I write that?
1843
01:19:47,427 --> 01:19:49,363
- Emily, it worked!
1844
01:19:49,363 --> 01:19:51,498
- Are you sure?
- Yeah!
1845
01:19:51,498 --> 01:19:53,634
I mean, I like to think
that I could take a little bit
1846
01:19:53,634 --> 01:19:56,103
of the credit, but you did it.
1847
01:19:56,103 --> 01:19:57,905
- Oh, wow, okay.
1848
01:19:57,905 --> 01:20:01,341
- Yeah, like--look,
your job, the apartment,
1849
01:20:01,341 --> 01:20:05,379
your cat, it's all back,
and no one's the wiser.
1850
01:20:05,379 --> 01:20:09,416
Yeah, and now you just know
how to ask for what you need.
1851
01:20:09,416 --> 01:20:14,221
And maybe, just maybe, you hate
Christmas just a little less.
1852
01:20:14,221 --> 01:20:16,290
- Aww.
1853
01:20:16,290 --> 01:20:18,692
- But, uh, yeah.
1854
01:20:18,692 --> 01:20:20,928
This is me saying goodbye.
1855
01:20:23,463 --> 01:20:25,432
I just, uh--
1856
01:20:25,432 --> 01:20:27,134
I just don't know how.
1857
01:20:31,204 --> 01:20:34,441
- I'm really, really
gonna miss you too.
1858
01:20:35,375 --> 01:20:38,512
- Hey, if you ever want
to write Santa, just--
1859
01:20:38,512 --> 01:20:40,080
- Oh, absolutely not.
1860
01:20:40,080 --> 01:20:43,617
I am completely done
writing to Santa.
1861
01:20:43,617 --> 01:20:46,587
But I'm gonna go in,
and I'm gonna ask
1862
01:20:46,587 --> 01:20:47,955
for my show today.
1863
01:20:47,955 --> 01:20:49,690
And I want you
to come on as a guest
1864
01:20:49,690 --> 01:20:54,394
because you are really, really
incredible at giving advice.
1865
01:20:54,394 --> 01:20:56,663
- You know what?
1866
01:20:56,663 --> 01:20:59,333
You weren't a pain
in my ass after all.
1867
01:20:59,333 --> 01:21:02,135
Yeah.
- Thank you.
1868
01:21:02,135 --> 01:21:04,204
- Mm-hmm.
1869
01:21:05,439 --> 01:21:08,442
[soft music]
1870
01:21:08,442 --> 01:21:12,212
♪ ♪
1871
01:21:12,212 --> 01:21:18,151
- ♪ We were warm and wonderful
once upon a time ♪
1872
01:21:18,151 --> 01:21:20,020
- Whoa.
1873
01:21:20,020 --> 01:21:24,124
It smells and looks delicious
down here, but I can't stay.
1874
01:21:24,124 --> 01:21:27,160
I gotta run to work.
- Right, your show.
1875
01:21:27,160 --> 01:21:28,762
- Yeah.
1876
01:21:28,762 --> 01:21:31,164
But I'm gonna come right back
and celebrate with you after.
1877
01:21:31,164 --> 01:21:32,766
- Really?
1878
01:21:32,766 --> 01:21:34,835
But you always work
on Christmas.
1879
01:21:34,835 --> 01:21:37,004
- I know,
but sometimes, things change.
1880
01:21:37,004 --> 01:21:38,171
- Yeah.
1881
01:21:38,171 --> 01:21:40,107
- Wait,
where'd you get that hat?
1882
01:21:40,107 --> 01:21:44,011
- From a very special friend
who wants me
1883
01:21:44,011 --> 01:21:45,979
to remember him by it
1884
01:21:45,979 --> 01:21:49,650
and all the things
that have happened this week.
1885
01:21:49,650 --> 01:21:52,452
When you come home
this evening,
1886
01:21:52,452 --> 01:21:54,988
can we talk more?
1887
01:21:54,988 --> 01:21:59,359
Well, actually, can you
talk more and I listen more?
1888
01:22:01,595 --> 01:22:04,398
- Yeah.
Yeah, I would love that.
1889
01:22:04,398 --> 01:22:06,199
I would really love that.
1890
01:22:06,199 --> 01:22:07,834
- Aw, merry Christmas, sweetie.
1891
01:22:07,834 --> 01:22:09,903
- Merry Christmas, Mom.
1892
01:22:09,903 --> 01:22:13,140
- This is Ken Spicer saying,
it's been a blast.
1893
01:22:13,140 --> 01:22:16,176
- ♪ Just make it
to Christmas? ♪
1894
01:22:16,176 --> 01:22:19,379
♪ Make it to Christmas ♪
1895
01:22:19,379 --> 01:22:21,481
♪ ♪
1896
01:22:21,481 --> 01:22:23,817
- Hey, you got a second?
1897
01:22:23,817 --> 01:22:25,919
- Can it wait?
1898
01:22:25,919 --> 01:22:27,521
I'm trying
to catch a plane to Cabo,
1899
01:22:27,521 --> 01:22:29,356
if you know what I mean.
1900
01:22:29,356 --> 01:22:31,792
- Actually, it can't.
1901
01:22:31,792 --> 01:22:33,994
Also, if that's
a sexual innuendo,
1902
01:22:33,994 --> 01:22:37,130
you keep that to yourself.
1903
01:22:37,130 --> 01:22:39,633
Um...
1904
01:22:39,633 --> 01:22:43,136
♪ ♪
1905
01:22:43,136 --> 01:22:46,173
So I--
1906
01:22:46,173 --> 01:22:49,376
so I know that you
gave your show to Janice,
1907
01:22:49,376 --> 01:22:55,682
and congratulations to her,
but you still own the station,
1908
01:22:55,682 --> 01:23:00,721
and you and I both know that
there is one more slot left
1909
01:23:00,721 --> 01:23:03,724
for an hour-long show,
1910
01:23:03,724 --> 01:23:07,728
and I'm asking you
for that show.
1911
01:23:10,497 --> 01:23:14,067
Being your producer
has been really great,
1912
01:23:14,067 --> 01:23:18,004
but I'm better than that.
1913
01:23:18,004 --> 01:23:20,140
The meter spikes
every time I chime in
1914
01:23:20,140 --> 01:23:22,375
on your show because I'm--
1915
01:23:22,375 --> 01:23:25,078
I'm funny and I'm smart.
1916
01:23:25,078 --> 01:23:28,715
And we'll call it "Ask Emily."
1917
01:23:28,715 --> 01:23:31,418
What do you say?
1918
01:23:34,254 --> 01:23:37,624
- Nice to have you
in the game, Emily.
1919
01:23:37,624 --> 01:23:40,827
Glad you finally showed up.
1920
01:23:40,827 --> 01:23:42,195
- Here I am.
1921
01:23:44,064 --> 01:23:46,466
So I can take that as a yes?
1922
01:23:46,466 --> 01:23:47,968
- Yes.
1923
01:23:47,968 --> 01:23:49,970
- All right!
1924
01:23:49,970 --> 01:23:52,639
- ♪ Hold on a little longer ♪
1925
01:23:52,639 --> 01:23:56,643
♪ Don't have me
spending it alone ♪
1926
01:23:56,643 --> 01:23:59,312
♪ This time of year
is precious ♪
1927
01:23:59,312 --> 01:24:02,816
♪ Just, please,
can we make it to Christmas? ♪
1928
01:24:02,816 --> 01:24:05,919
♪ Can we make it
to Christmas? ♪
1929
01:24:05,919 --> 01:24:07,754
[bell rings]
1930
01:24:07,754 --> 01:24:10,724
[soft music]
1931
01:24:10,724 --> 01:24:16,763
♪ ♪
1932
01:24:16,763 --> 01:24:19,499
- Hi.
- Hi.
1933
01:24:23,036 --> 01:24:25,605
- You know, my last name
is actually Snowmyn?
1934
01:24:25,605 --> 01:24:27,307
- No kidding.
1935
01:24:27,307 --> 01:24:29,910
- I swear to God,
Wyatt Snowmyn, at your service.
1936
01:24:29,910 --> 01:24:31,711
- What a coincidence.
1937
01:24:31,711 --> 01:24:33,280
- And you, uh...
- Oh.
1938
01:24:33,280 --> 01:24:37,017
- Your name?
- Emily Harris.
1939
01:24:37,017 --> 01:24:39,719
I'm a Sagittarius.
I just turned 31.
1940
01:24:39,719 --> 01:24:42,022
I'm a big fan of miming
1941
01:24:42,022 --> 01:24:44,558
and Christmas themed
craft cocktails
1942
01:24:44,558 --> 01:24:47,928
with terrible names.
1943
01:24:47,928 --> 01:24:51,331
- Well then, you're going to--
1944
01:24:51,331 --> 01:24:53,600
- Ah, heart?
1945
01:24:53,600 --> 01:24:55,001
- A little drink I call
1946
01:24:55,001 --> 01:24:58,471
the Santa Clausmopolitan.
1947
01:24:58,471 --> 01:25:01,074
- Do you want
to go out with me?
1948
01:25:03,210 --> 01:25:05,946
- I don't know why,
but I have a strong feeling
1949
01:25:05,946 --> 01:25:07,948
I should say yes.
1950
01:25:07,948 --> 01:25:10,283
- Mm, I don't know why either,
1951
01:25:10,283 --> 01:25:13,386
but you should
follow that maybe.
1952
01:25:13,386 --> 01:25:15,088
- Yes.
1953
01:25:15,088 --> 01:25:17,424
Absolutely yes.
1954
01:25:17,424 --> 01:25:20,594
♪ ♪
1955
01:25:20,594 --> 01:25:23,797
[upbeat music]
1956
01:25:23,797 --> 01:25:27,834
- Well, I bet you were anxious
to get back to kids' gifts.
1957
01:25:27,834 --> 01:25:30,503
- Actually, I wanted to talk
to you about something.
1958
01:25:30,503 --> 01:25:32,472
You might think
I'm pulling your chain,
1959
01:25:32,472 --> 01:25:34,975
but I think I want
to continue doing
1960
01:25:34,975 --> 01:25:36,943
this whole helping people job.
1961
01:25:36,943 --> 01:25:39,279
- And why is that?
1962
01:25:39,279 --> 01:25:42,449
- Well, you were right, okay?
1963
01:25:42,449 --> 01:25:44,985
I was selfish,
and I was really dismissing
1964
01:25:44,985 --> 01:25:47,053
the virtue of kindness.
1965
01:25:47,053 --> 01:25:49,389
I really like helping people.
- Ah!
1966
01:25:49,389 --> 01:25:52,425
Oh, Wolfie!
Yes you do!
1967
01:25:52,425 --> 01:25:54,327
Wolfie, I knew it.
I knew it!
1968
01:25:54,327 --> 01:25:56,263
I didn't know it.
I was hoping, though.
1969
01:25:56,263 --> 01:25:57,731
[laughs]
1970
01:25:57,731 --> 01:25:59,366
Yeah, whoo!
- Whoo!
1971
01:25:59,366 --> 01:26:02,135
Merry Christmas!
- Merry Christmas, Wolfie.
1972
01:26:02,135 --> 01:26:05,138
[both laughing]
1973
01:26:05,138 --> 01:26:06,506
[ominous music]
1974
01:26:06,506 --> 01:26:08,141
- The Tooth Fairy.
1975
01:26:08,141 --> 01:26:10,710
♪ ♪
1976
01:26:10,710 --> 01:26:13,613
- [screeching]
1977
01:26:16,883 --> 01:26:17,984
- Oh.
1978
01:26:17,984 --> 01:26:22,155
- [screeching]
1979
01:26:22,155 --> 01:26:25,558
- Uh, let's dance!
1980
01:26:25,558 --> 01:26:28,228
Yeah, can-can, hey!
1981
01:26:28,228 --> 01:26:29,596
Reindeer, reindeer.
Do the reindeer.
1982
01:26:29,596 --> 01:26:30,897
Do the reindeer.
1983
01:26:30,897 --> 01:26:32,532
We on the reindeer,
we ride the reindeer.
1984
01:26:32,532 --> 01:26:34,968
♪ ♪
1985
01:26:34,968 --> 01:26:38,238
- ♪ Uh-huh, that's just
the way you make me feel ♪
1986
01:26:38,238 --> 01:26:39,973
♪ That's just the way
you make me feel ♪
1987
01:26:39,973 --> 01:26:42,342
♪ That's just
the way you make me feel ♪
1988
01:26:42,342 --> 01:26:44,144
♪ Know what love is,
always don't stop it ♪
1989
01:26:44,144 --> 01:26:45,679
♪ ♪
1990
01:26:45,679 --> 01:26:48,548
♪ You got me right here
in your jean pocket ♪
1991
01:26:48,548 --> 01:26:50,050
♪ ♪
1992
01:26:50,050 --> 01:26:53,119
♪ Laying your body
on the shag carpet ♪
1993
01:26:53,119 --> 01:26:55,155
♪ Ooh, you know what love is ♪
1994
01:26:55,155 --> 01:26:56,890
♪ Always don't stop it ♪
1995
01:26:56,890 --> 01:26:58,591
♪ ♪
1996
01:26:58,591 --> 01:27:02,629
♪ It's like I'm powerful
with a little bit of tender ♪
1997
01:27:02,629 --> 01:27:06,933
♪ An emotional,
a sexual blender ♪
1998
01:27:06,933 --> 01:27:09,002
♪ Mess me up, yeah ♪
1999
01:27:09,002 --> 01:27:11,771
- KLDA Nation,
did you get everything
2000
01:27:11,771 --> 01:27:12,973
you asked for this year?
2001
01:27:12,973 --> 01:27:14,240
I know I did.
2002
01:27:14,240 --> 01:27:16,309
And great news,
2003
01:27:16,309 --> 01:27:19,746
tonight and every night,
I'm gonna be coming at you
2004
01:27:19,746 --> 01:27:22,215
with my own show, "Ask Emily."
2005
01:27:22,215 --> 01:27:24,217
We'll spend
an entire hour together
2006
01:27:24,217 --> 01:27:25,852
talking and listening.
2007
01:27:25,852 --> 01:27:29,255
You can tell me your worries,
tell me your wishes,
2008
01:27:29,255 --> 01:27:31,558
and you can ask
for what you want.
2009
01:27:31,558 --> 01:27:33,660
And I'm gonna ask you
to bear with me
2010
01:27:33,660 --> 01:27:36,896
because I'm about to get real
vulnerable up in this piece.
2011
01:27:36,896 --> 01:27:40,266
So let's start it off right
with our first caller.
2012
01:27:42,102 --> 01:27:44,170
Hi, you're on the air
with Emily.
2013
01:27:44,170 --> 01:27:46,506
What's your name,
and what's your problem?
2014
01:27:46,506 --> 01:27:49,476
- Linda, and I have
a game night emergency.
2015
01:27:49,476 --> 01:27:53,980
But also,
I'm so proud of you, honey.
2016
01:27:53,980 --> 01:27:56,983
- Hi, Mom.
What's your question?