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♪ ethereal synths ♪
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- [reporter] Scientists
in China are
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00:00:26,826 --> 00:00:29,162
trying to determine if
a new virus strain is
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00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:30,797
responsible for a pneumonia outbreak
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00:00:30,830 --> 00:00:32,165
in the city of Wuhan.
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- [reporter] China
ordering a quarantine
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for the entire city of Wuhan.
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11 million people, no travel in or out.
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- [reporter] Wuhan, ground
zero for this mysterious virus,
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and it's also showing up in other cities.
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- [reporter] An update now
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on the coronavirus outbreak in Italy.
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The government's racing to
contain the biggest outbreak of
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the virus in Europe, imposing
restrictions on about 100,000
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people and shutting down
public gatherings.
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- [reporter] The World Health
Organization's decision
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00:00:58,858 --> 00:01:02,595
to declare the 2019 novel
coronavirus a "public health
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emergency of
international concern."
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- [Trump] We instituted
sweeping travel restrictions
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on China, and put in place the first
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federally mandated quarantine
in over 50 years.
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- [reporter] Governor Cuomo
just announced the first
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confirmed case in New York City.
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- [reporter] The World
Health Organization calling
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COVID-19 a pandemic
for the first time.
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- [reporter] Tonight, the death
toll mounting in the US.
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Now, at least 100 dead
as the number of cases
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of coronavirus tops 5,800.
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- [de Blasio] New Yorkers
should be prepared right now
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for the possibility
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of a shelter-in-place order.
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♪
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- [Dean] When I first
heard of COVID-19,
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I really didn't think much of it.
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It was another one of those
viruses like Ebola or H1N1 or,
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or even the flu that
we're going to read about,
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it's going to have some effect
on... in China or in Africa or
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00:02:44,697 --> 00:02:47,200
in Europe or somewhere else.
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- I knew that it was
going to be a problem,
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I just did not understand at all
how big of a problem
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it really would be.
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- When I realized that
things were gonna change,
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in all honesty, was when...
no St. Patty's Day parade,
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baseball shut down, NBA shut down,
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my kids' schools shut down.
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- My first real experience
with COVID was
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looking at a Facebook post
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00:03:18,431 --> 00:03:22,936
and it was an Italian nurse who
looked exhausted and worn
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and wearing the mask and
saying, publicly to all of us,
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"We had no idea what
was coming."
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- I think when it started to hit
Italy really hard is when I was
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in meetings and in the hospital
and just really starting to
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contemplate, "Well, this
is definitely coming here.
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And is it already here?"
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- I got a call from the CEO
that he wanted me
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to come to a meeting,
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that they were
developing a task force.
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- My birthday was that
Tuesday, March 17th,
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St. Patrick's Day.
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And that was really the first
day things started
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to change for me.
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I went home, I
Face-timed with my parents,
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and I realized it was the first
birthday I could remember
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that I spent alone.
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- [Dean] That afternoon, we met,
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and it was the, you know,
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what, what I call
the "top brass."
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You know, I'm new in administration,
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so here were all the VPs
sitting around the table.
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- The announcement came over
telling New Yorkers:
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"Remember to wash your hands
for 20 seconds
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and keep your distance."
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The whole thing seemed
almost Orwellian.
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- [Dean] That's when we
started thinking, you know,
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"What are we going to do?
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How are we going to prepare the hospital?
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What do we have to do?"
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Fortunately, our chief medical
officer happens to be trained
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in infectious disease, so
the first thing he said was,
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"We need to know how many
isolation rooms we have
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and how many we can make.
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We need to divide our emergency room
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into a clean emergency room
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and a dirty emergency room.
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We need to be able to separate
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these patients from
the beginning."
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- Even to the last day
before, like,
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they closed bars and clubs,
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everybody was, like,
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"Okay, like, it's not that bad.
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You know, we'll,
we'll... we just gotta
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like, tackle this down and..."
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No, people are dying
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and it's very real.
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- I actually recall
that same night,
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my second son, my younger son,
texting me and saying,
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"Is this something we
have to worry about?"
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And I said...
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[exhales]
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[speaking softly]
Sorry...
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Um...
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"You don't have to worry about it
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unless you're going to China."
[voice shaking]
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Boy, was I wrong.
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- [reporter] Governor
Andrew Cuomo has declared a
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state of emergency in New York as dozens of
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new cases of coronavirus
are determined each day.
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- [reporter] The first case
of coronavirus hitting Queens.
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There are cases in Brooklyn as well.
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- [reporter] State officials
are still insisting
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the public health risk is low,
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and for now, the only thing
worse than the virus
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is the fear and anxiety.
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- There was a very serious
moment when this all clicked.
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My whole plan, my whole
routine changed immediately.
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- The situation started to get a
little bit more real for me as
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the window for screening
started to widen.
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- Mid-March is when we got the
notification that half of
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the unit was going to
become a full adult ICU,
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and that was going to be
staffed by pediatric ICU nurses.
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- It started with, "We're gonna
screen these patients with a
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influenza-like illness from
Wuhan, China, specifically,
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00:07:01,821 --> 00:07:03,856
who were traveling within
the last two weeks,"
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to Mainland China, to now the countries of
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China, South Korea, Iran, and Italy.
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- We had to empty out all
of the operating rooms,
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all the equipment, all the
supplies and transition into a
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fully-operating ICU in
less than three days.
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- Towards the end of
the month, you know,
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if you just came in with a cough or fever,
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we were isolating you.
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- Because we were
getting direction
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from the Department of Health
that we needed to
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prepare ourselves
from a 24-bed ICU
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to a 75-bed ICU.
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- I gave every one of my
employees the option,
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if they were frightened
or concerned,
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that they did not have
to attend work.
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- [Vincent] Environmental
started coming in and, and
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and putting, you know,
the plastic up, and
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00:07:57,243 --> 00:07:59,579
it was like a scene out of a movie.
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Remember the movie 'Outbreak'
with Dustin Hoffman?
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00:08:01,681 --> 00:08:04,283
I'm telling ya, it's, it's like that.
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00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:05,852
- [Susannah] Our life changed
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00:08:05,885 --> 00:08:08,688
within a span of a week
as pediatricians.
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00:08:08,721 --> 00:08:12,558
We started initially taking
up to 25-year-olds.
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And then the next day,
it was 30,
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and then the next day,
it was 35.
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And then the number just kinda
kept going up until age 50.
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- [de Blasio] We're going to need
massive medical capacity on
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a scale we have never seen in
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00:08:27,073 --> 00:08:28,808
the history of New York City
before.
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- [reporter] The Mayor is
sounding the alarm
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about the city's medical supplies.
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00:08:31,978 --> 00:08:34,080
He says, "Hospitals have
what they need right now,
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00:08:34,113 --> 00:08:36,282
but that will be a
different story next month."
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- [reporter] With the
biggest challenge:
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Critical care facilities.
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There are only 45,000 ICU beds in America
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and about 160,000 ventilators.
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And doctors say many are
currently occupied
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by other patients.
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- The first thing that I realized
was different was waking into
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the hospital and being handed
a surgical mask from
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a security guard.
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00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:04,043
And I remember pausing,
because usually,
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00:09:04,076 --> 00:09:06,379
you swipe your badge and you walk in.
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00:09:06,412 --> 00:09:10,016
It's something that made it
more real and made it more
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00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:12,718
like it's here and it's, it's serious.
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- The way we answered
the phone changed,
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00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:17,757
the way we treated patients changed.
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My office looks totally transformed,
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with plastic covers over everything.
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- [Dean] How are we going
to expand the hospital?
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00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:30,069
What areas of the hospital are
viable to place patients in?
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00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:32,872
So we took the plans out and we looked.
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00:09:32,905 --> 00:09:35,074
"These rooms have electricity,
these rooms have plumbing,
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00:09:35,107 --> 00:09:37,209
these rooms have this,
this is our first plan,
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this is what we're going to
do when we have 20 patients,
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00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:42,715
when we have 40 patients,
when we have 60 patients."
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- I began unrolling PPE,
personal protection equipment,
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00:09:47,787 --> 00:09:50,056
in my office, teaching
every member of my staff,
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00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:53,659
no matter what their role,
how to use an N95 mask,
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00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:55,795
how to remove the mask.
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00:09:55,828 --> 00:09:59,899
- [Sarah] March 23rd was the day
we officially started to bring
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00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:02,768
patients into our operating rooms,
189
00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:06,138
not as surgical patients
but as ICU patients.
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00:10:07,239 --> 00:10:08,407
- [JanMichael] I remember, like,
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00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,343
watching the news and you would see, like,
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00:10:10,376 --> 00:10:12,144
an exponential rise in cases, and then
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you got to work and it was just like,
194
00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:15,948
"Okay, we're doing this
this day.
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00:10:15,982 --> 00:10:17,717
This is how it's gonna work out,"
196
00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:19,785
and we just had to adjust to changes.
197
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:23,689
- Our first patient came
March 3rd.
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00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:27,927
I remember the day because
I remember the fear
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00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,662
in everyone's eyes.
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00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:35,267
- [Cuomo] We are today
issuing an emergency order
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00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:38,070
that says to all hospitals:
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00:10:38,104 --> 00:10:43,309
You must increase your capacity by 50%.
203
00:10:43,342 --> 00:10:45,711
You must.
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00:10:45,745 --> 00:10:48,714
- We prepared for it and
we had our PPE,
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00:10:48,748 --> 00:10:51,751
but I think the patient
was just as scared as we were.
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00:10:51,784 --> 00:10:53,352
"What's gonna happen to me?"
You know,
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00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:58,324
behind this wall, this
frosted plastic curtain that,
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00:10:58,357 --> 00:11:01,227
you know, we unzip with all
our gear on and go in
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00:11:01,260 --> 00:11:03,129
and say hello to the patient.
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00:11:03,162 --> 00:11:08,267
- We went from one patient
that first Sunday to
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00:11:08,300 --> 00:11:11,871
over 50 patients by the
end of that week.
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00:11:11,904 --> 00:11:15,174
- I had a call to go into
my manager's office,
213
00:11:15,207 --> 00:11:18,010
and she said she had some bad news for us.
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00:11:18,044 --> 00:11:24,183
One of the patients we operated
on tested positive for COVID.
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00:11:25,084 --> 00:11:27,486
- We had heard children
weren't really getting it,
216
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,822
so when we got the first
positive result,
217
00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:31,991
everyone sort of looked around.
218
00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:33,859
"Okay, now what?
219
00:11:33,893 --> 00:11:34,827
What's our policy?
220
00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:36,762
What are we supposed to do?
221
00:11:36,796 --> 00:11:39,231
Is a nurse able to take care
of this patient
222
00:11:39,265 --> 00:11:41,333
and another patient?"
223
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:43,235
- I was kind of shocked.
224
00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:44,904
I came home.
225
00:11:44,937 --> 00:11:48,474
My husband told me,
"God knows his children"
226
00:11:48,507 --> 00:11:51,210
and I'm not gonna get it,
so we prayed.
227
00:11:51,243 --> 00:11:53,879
And then the following
day, I went to work.
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00:11:54,413 --> 00:11:57,850
- I think the thing that's really
specific to emergency medicine
229
00:11:57,883 --> 00:12:01,187
is you never know what's
gonna walk through your door
230
00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:03,255
at any given moment, day or night.
231
00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:07,426
And so you're trained to be
ready for anything
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00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:08,861
that comes through the door.
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00:12:12,932 --> 00:12:14,867
Overnight, our, our heart attacks,
234
00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:18,571
our strokes, our GI bleeds,
our psychiatric patients...
235
00:12:18,604 --> 00:12:22,408
they disappeared and they were replaced
236
00:12:22,441 --> 00:12:25,277
with a flood of patients in
respiratory distress.
237
00:12:26,846 --> 00:12:31,417
- I've never seen us or myself
change directions
238
00:12:31,450 --> 00:12:35,521
twice or three times a day,
totally 180, and now,
239
00:12:35,554 --> 00:12:37,089
we're doing it this way.
240
00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:39,191
- [Liza] And when I say
"respiratory distress,"
241
00:12:39,225 --> 00:12:42,128
I mean I have never seen oxygen levels
242
00:12:42,161 --> 00:12:44,063
as low as I have seen in this,
243
00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:47,099
um, population of patients before.
244
00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:50,870
And just one after another after another.
245
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:53,839
- It was stressful.
246
00:12:53,873 --> 00:12:56,408
It was very stressful because
the last thing that you wanted
247
00:12:56,442 --> 00:13:00,012
to do was make a wrong move
and expose a certain person,
248
00:13:00,045 --> 00:13:01,947
and above all,
like, y... you know,
249
00:13:01,981 --> 00:13:04,283
you, you wanted to protect yourself.
250
00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:07,186
- [Dean] As a physician,
I think that's what we do.
251
00:13:07,219 --> 00:13:08,554
The patients come into the room,
252
00:13:08,587 --> 00:13:11,090
we talk to them, we develop
a rapport with them,
253
00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:13,626
we ask them questions so
that we can develop a,
254
00:13:13,659 --> 00:13:16,262
uh, solution to their problem.
255
00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:18,097
COVID is completely different.
256
00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:19,932
There is no solution.
257
00:13:19,965 --> 00:13:22,902
And it's not one patient,
it's many patients.
258
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,604
We're not ready for COVID.
259
00:13:26,305 --> 00:13:29,975
- [Kathy] I dealt with
a couple of patients,
260
00:13:30,009 --> 00:13:31,977
and then I got COVID.
261
00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:36,315
And my children got COVID.
262
00:13:39,218 --> 00:13:41,987
I am a Brooklyn girl, born and raised.
263
00:13:42,021 --> 00:13:45,357
I moved to Manhattan and that's
where I began my nursing career.
264
00:13:45,391 --> 00:13:49,395
I have five wonderful children,
four girls and a prince,
265
00:13:50,429 --> 00:13:53,365
and it made this so much more real.
266
00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:58,304
I think I was scared for myself
because of my history of cancer.
267
00:13:58,337 --> 00:14:00,673
I'm a survivor now of five years,
268
00:14:00,706 --> 00:14:03,475
so I think a lot of the
skills that I learned
269
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:05,344
during the cancer...
270
00:14:05,711 --> 00:14:08,380
is helping me cope with
this a little bit better.
271
00:14:09,415 --> 00:14:13,485
I was out of work for 11
days, and the whole time,
272
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:16,288
hearing from my colleagues
on a daily basis
273
00:14:16,322 --> 00:14:18,357
of what was going on there.
274
00:14:18,390 --> 00:14:21,560
And, um, I felt guilty that
I wasn't there with them.
275
00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:25,364
I feel blessed that I got through it.
276
00:14:25,397 --> 00:14:28,434
I feel like I was a survivor again.
277
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:32,671
Finally, in the beginning of April,
278
00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:34,373
I went back.
279
00:14:35,241 --> 00:14:37,676
And it was just...
thrown right into it.
280
00:14:38,077 --> 00:14:39,111
[medical equipment beeping]
281
00:14:39,144 --> 00:14:42,248
There were makeshift ICUs
throughout the hospital.
282
00:14:42,281 --> 00:14:46,518
COVID units were made in
numerous areas of the hospital
283
00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:49,088
to try and just...
284
00:14:49,121 --> 00:14:50,689
deal with the, the load.
285
00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:56,362
♪ ominous music ♪
286
00:14:56,395 --> 00:15:00,065
- On a bad day, up to four
intubated patients...
287
00:15:00,099 --> 00:15:03,235
patients on medicines that are
keeping their blood pressure up,
288
00:15:03,269 --> 00:15:06,672
keeping them alive, basically
having them on life support,
289
00:15:06,705 --> 00:15:10,676
and you're talking about within
a 24 to 48 hour period,
290
00:15:10,709 --> 00:15:13,279
almost your entire
emergency department is,
291
00:15:13,312 --> 00:15:15,981
is full of those kind of patients.
292
00:15:16,015 --> 00:15:18,417
It shook all of us to our core.
293
00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:22,121
- We were running out
of room fast.
294
00:15:22,154 --> 00:15:24,623
- It was the volume,
it was the acuity,
295
00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:27,092
these people were so sick.
296
00:15:27,126 --> 00:15:30,396
- The standards that we were used
to of making sure our patients
297
00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:33,766
were bathed and turned and
comfortable were kind of thrown
298
00:15:33,799 --> 00:15:37,136
out the window, it was just,
"Keep these patients alive for
299
00:15:37,169 --> 00:15:40,072
your 12-hour shift so that
you can go home,
300
00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:43,375
sleep, and, and come back
and do it all over again."
301
00:15:43,409 --> 00:15:45,311
- You're wondering which ones
are gonna do well,
302
00:15:45,344 --> 00:15:47,079
which ones aren't going to do well,
303
00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:49,448
which ones are gonna qualify
for some of the protocols,
304
00:15:49,481 --> 00:15:50,616
which ones aren't going to...
305
00:15:50,649 --> 00:15:53,252
and we really don't have an answer.
306
00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:55,487
- [Kathy] We still don't
fully understand this virus,
307
00:15:55,521 --> 00:15:58,190
and it's taking
characteristics over time
308
00:15:58,223 --> 00:16:01,260
that we're learning more about,
something else pops up.
309
00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:05,264
- It was like a crash course
in ICU nursing for me,
310
00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:08,167
but for a lot of my peers,
311
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:11,136
it was a crash course in
bedside nursing.
312
00:16:12,404 --> 00:16:15,140
- [Susannah] Our patient
load was double to triple.
313
00:16:15,174 --> 00:16:19,445
This is the most hardworking,
smartest group of doctors
314
00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:22,281
I've been around, but they're exhausted,
315
00:16:22,314 --> 00:16:24,149
utterly exhausted.
316
00:16:24,183 --> 00:16:28,787
♪ emotional music ♪
317
00:16:29,688 --> 00:16:31,523
- [Kathy] We were tired.
318
00:16:31,557 --> 00:16:34,059
I had never...
319
00:16:34,093 --> 00:16:37,563
seen so many sick patients before.
320
00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:41,500
- [Vincent] It wears on ya.
321
00:16:41,533 --> 00:16:42,534
Um...
322
00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:44,503
I would, you know,
get dressed in the morning,
323
00:16:44,536 --> 00:16:46,271
go to work, change into my scrubs,
324
00:16:46,305 --> 00:16:48,173
and, and be ready to go.
325
00:16:48,207 --> 00:16:50,376
But now, there's a whole routine.
326
00:16:50,409 --> 00:16:52,378
I get to work, I have to change,
327
00:16:52,411 --> 00:16:54,713
I make sure that my clean
clothes are put away
328
00:16:54,747 --> 00:16:57,616
so that I can wear them out
clean when I go home.
329
00:16:57,649 --> 00:16:59,818
You gotta, you know, get on your PPE,
330
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:01,653
wear your face mask, your hairnet,
331
00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:03,722
your shoe covers.
332
00:17:04,790 --> 00:17:07,292
- [Vida] So I was in
my room when I heard,
333
00:17:07,326 --> 00:17:10,696
like, a lot of noise and
commotion in the hallway.
334
00:17:12,231 --> 00:17:14,400
I came in and one girl
told me that
335
00:17:14,433 --> 00:17:17,736
one of the girls is put
in there and she's crying.
336
00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:20,839
You know, she doesn't want to be
in there because she's scared.
337
00:17:21,407 --> 00:17:23,509
So I went to the managers and I said,
338
00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:25,210
"I wouldn't mind."
339
00:17:25,244 --> 00:17:27,880
And the manager said,
"No, her name is first."
340
00:17:27,913 --> 00:17:30,349
So I'm like, "I wouldn't
mind doing it.
341
00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:32,885
And maybe, if I do it,
she will get the courage
342
00:17:32,918 --> 00:17:34,520
to do it the next time."
343
00:17:35,254 --> 00:17:38,390
- It's not... it becomes
not about me anymore.
344
00:17:38,424 --> 00:17:41,527
I can take care of however
many people, you know?
345
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,128
And...
346
00:17:43,162 --> 00:17:45,831
if I'm not there,
who else is gonna do it, right?
347
00:17:45,864 --> 00:17:48,734
And I think all of my co-workers
felt that way, you know?
348
00:17:48,767 --> 00:17:51,370
It's just, like, we have
to be there.
349
00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:52,738
They need us.
350
00:17:52,771 --> 00:17:57,276
♪
351
00:17:58,644 --> 00:18:00,712
- [reporter] Medical
professionals on the frontlines
352
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:04,249
of the coronavirus crisis in
America are facing a shortage of
353
00:18:04,283 --> 00:18:06,251
personal protective equipment.
354
00:18:06,285 --> 00:18:09,922
The demand for these medical
supplies is especially high in
355
00:18:09,955 --> 00:18:14,493
New York City, the epicenter of
America's coronavirus crisis.
356
00:18:18,297 --> 00:18:22,234
- [Kathy] I became a nurse in the
'80s during the AIDS epidemic,
357
00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:24,236
and I worked in Manhattan.
358
00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:27,406
And I remember all the isolation and,
359
00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:30,242
and, and the gowns.
360
00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:32,578
But it was nothing to the level this is.
361
00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:34,613
Nothing could have prepared us.
362
00:18:34,646 --> 00:18:38,784
- It would take maybe five to
seven days before we'd actually
363
00:18:38,817 --> 00:18:41,954
get an official positive
or negative result,
364
00:18:41,987 --> 00:18:45,524
so in that time, we had to treat
them as if they were positive.
365
00:18:46,358 --> 00:18:49,328
It turned out that a lot of
those patients were negative,
366
00:18:49,361 --> 00:18:51,964
and we've gone through
thousands of N95 masks.
367
00:18:51,997 --> 00:18:53,932
And then, we started getting
the positives
368
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:56,268
and we were low on PPE.
369
00:18:56,301 --> 00:19:00,439
- So when we got our N95s, we
were told to hold onto them
370
00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:04,276
until they were broken
or visibly soiled,
371
00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:05,777
which was very different
from everything
372
00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:07,946
you've ever learned in medicine.
373
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:11,650
- The first policy change was
"surgical masks are good for
374
00:19:11,683 --> 00:19:15,687
four hours, N95s are
good for a whole day."
375
00:19:15,721 --> 00:19:18,657
We didn't understand how are we
keeping our patients safe if
376
00:19:18,690 --> 00:19:20,993
the masks that I'm wearing
in one room,
377
00:19:21,026 --> 00:19:24,530
I'm wearing again in the next
room for four hours straight.
378
00:19:24,563 --> 00:19:27,833
- I was wearing PPE, but
still, in the back of your head,
379
00:19:27,866 --> 00:19:31,336
you wonder "Is that enough?
380
00:19:31,370 --> 00:19:32,971
Are the people I love safe?
381
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:34,806
Is my family safe?"
382
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:38,977
And I remember, at that point,
knowing I couldn't go home.
383
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:41,880
- I think we all knew by that
time that the virus itself
384
00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:46,385
is actually smaller than the
filter diameter on the N95s,
385
00:19:46,418 --> 00:19:49,821
and the nature of the N95
just means it filters out 90%
386
00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:54,293
of particles of a
certain size and above.
387
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,562
Truth be told, I certainly
didn't feel 100%
388
00:19:56,595 --> 00:19:59,031
confident in that level of protection.
389
00:19:59,064 --> 00:20:01,900
- And I called home and
said, "I, I don't know when,
390
00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:04,870
but I can't come home anymore."
391
00:20:05,437 --> 00:20:08,840
- [Liza] I did five night shifts
at one of our hospitals.
392
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:13,345
We must have intubated and put
on life support at least
393
00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:17,049
30 to 40% of the patients
who walked through the door.
394
00:20:17,082 --> 00:20:21,687
During that five-day period, I
realized I was scared to death
395
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,855
of getting anybody else sick around me,
396
00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:26,858
because we didn't know and we
still don't know so much
397
00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:28,694
about this disease.
398
00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:33,865
- Eventually, N95s were a week,
surgical masks were a day.
399
00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:37,402
Then, N95s were indefinitely.
400
00:20:37,436 --> 00:20:40,405
- So it's something that you
would never even think of before
401
00:20:40,439 --> 00:20:43,609
this, and now, it was
something that you had with you
402
00:20:43,642 --> 00:20:46,712
at all times and you knew
where your N95 was.
403
00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:48,547
- [Susannah] Our hospital
didn't have enough,
404
00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:50,882
and they still don't have enough.
405
00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:54,953
- Now, we're collecting them so
that they can be decontaminated
406
00:20:54,987 --> 00:20:59,424
and perhaps used in the future
if we need them again because
407
00:20:59,458 --> 00:21:01,593
you can't find them anywhere.
408
00:21:02,527 --> 00:21:04,963
- [Cuomo] Can you imagine
the nurses who leave
409
00:21:04,997 --> 00:21:10,002
their homes in the morning,
who kiss their children goodbye,
410
00:21:10,969 --> 00:21:15,774
go to a hospital, deal with
people who have the coronavirus?
411
00:21:17,142 --> 00:21:21,079
They're worried and they're
going out there every day,
412
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:23,115
despite their fear.
413
00:21:23,148 --> 00:21:25,484
And not for their family,
414
00:21:25,517 --> 00:21:28,453
they're doing it for your family.
415
00:21:30,389 --> 00:21:35,494
- You know, we took this on,
we made this choice to take on
416
00:21:35,527 --> 00:21:39,464
this profession and
whatever comes with that.
417
00:21:39,498 --> 00:21:42,100
Our children didn't.
Our families didn't.
418
00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:45,937
- I just kept thinking, "I have
to, I have to remove myself
419
00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:48,840
from them or I have to
get them to a safe place.
420
00:21:48,874 --> 00:21:51,610
This is, this is really bad."
421
00:21:51,643 --> 00:21:55,480
And it meant sending my husband
and kids and my in-laws...
422
00:21:55,514 --> 00:21:58,116
who wonderfully live in the
same building we do...
423
00:21:58,150 --> 00:21:59,985
um, sending them away.
424
00:22:01,553 --> 00:22:06,958
- This is the first time that I
can think of in history where
425
00:22:06,992 --> 00:22:09,027
the danger is brought home.
426
00:22:09,061 --> 00:22:11,963
I have a son in, in the Army.
427
00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:14,466
It's, again, a risk,
428
00:22:14,499 --> 00:22:18,136
but that stays on the battlefield.
429
00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:20,672
We're bringing this home
to our families,
430
00:22:20,706 --> 00:22:24,509
and we've never had to
deal with that.
431
00:22:25,711 --> 00:22:28,980
- I decided to live in the hotel
432
00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:31,917
and go home only on my last day.
433
00:22:32,584 --> 00:22:33,752
I go to the hotel,
434
00:22:33,785 --> 00:22:36,655
bathe, change everything,
and my husband will pick me up,
435
00:22:36,688 --> 00:22:38,790
and then I'll go home for my days off.
436
00:22:38,824 --> 00:22:42,894
And then, I do the same thing
again the following week.
437
00:22:45,831 --> 00:22:46,665
- Mommy!
438
00:22:46,698 --> 00:22:47,599
- [Susannah] Yes!
439
00:22:47,632 --> 00:22:48,333
- Mommy!
440
00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:50,168
- [Susannah] Yes,
you want a hand?
441
00:22:51,236 --> 00:22:52,204
Okay!
442
00:22:52,237 --> 00:22:54,606
One, two, three!
443
00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:57,743
The first couple of weeks that
I was working in the hospital,
444
00:22:57,776 --> 00:23:01,446
I had so much anxiety
that I would kill my family.
445
00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:03,448
And I have a toddler, you know?
446
00:23:03,482 --> 00:23:05,183
She's so innocent.
447
00:23:05,217 --> 00:23:08,220
And every single day that
I walk home from work,
448
00:23:08,253 --> 00:23:10,555
that little girl runs up and hugs me,
449
00:23:10,589 --> 00:23:12,224
like, all over my body.
450
00:23:12,257 --> 00:23:15,026
And she gives
open-mouth kisses and,
451
00:23:15,060 --> 00:23:17,095
like, you know, she's licked my face.
452
00:23:17,129 --> 00:23:20,432
All the, all the gross little
two-year-old things.
453
00:23:20,766 --> 00:23:25,470
I strip on our front porch and
literally nothing from
454
00:23:25,504 --> 00:23:28,707
the hospital goes into
our house.
455
00:23:28,740 --> 00:23:30,609
- [giggling]
456
00:23:30,642 --> 00:23:32,577
- No matter what happened
during the day,
457
00:23:32,611 --> 00:23:35,113
she gets in the tub,
we play with her ducks,
458
00:23:35,147 --> 00:23:36,715
we play with the fish...
459
00:23:36,748 --> 00:23:38,850
and I just have to be
a regular-old mom,
460
00:23:38,884 --> 00:23:41,086
which is the best.
461
00:23:41,620 --> 00:23:42,988
- [Vincent] My kids are my peace.
462
00:23:43,021 --> 00:23:46,525
I do everything I do in this life for them.
463
00:23:46,558 --> 00:23:48,860
I, I said to myself at the start of this,
464
00:23:48,894 --> 00:23:50,996
this is my job and if I get sick,
465
00:23:51,029 --> 00:23:53,064
that's one thing, I'll deal with it.
466
00:23:53,098 --> 00:23:57,102
But I, I couldn't deal with
harming my, my own family.
467
00:24:00,272 --> 00:24:03,241
- The day I kissed
my kids goodbye,
468
00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:04,743
I... it's... I,
469
00:24:04,776 --> 00:24:07,612
I almost can't say it
out loud but I, um...
470
00:24:07,646 --> 00:24:10,515
I definitely...
[voice shaking]
471
00:24:11,116 --> 00:24:13,618
thought, um, that might be
the last time
472
00:24:13,652 --> 00:24:15,987
I was ever seeing them again.
473
00:24:16,321 --> 00:24:20,091
Uh, and that, that is
probably my lowest low
474
00:24:20,125 --> 00:24:22,093
and my greatest fear,
475
00:24:22,127 --> 00:24:24,229
is leaving my family behind.
476
00:24:27,666 --> 00:24:30,902
- [Susannah] I had no idea that
it would come here like this.
477
00:24:30,936 --> 00:24:33,171
I don't think anyone could.
478
00:24:33,205 --> 00:24:34,673
I, I'm still in shock.
479
00:24:34,706 --> 00:24:37,142
I think all of us are still in shock.
480
00:24:38,176 --> 00:24:39,878
- There's this novel virus.
481
00:24:39,911 --> 00:24:43,815
We don't know how contagious
or deadly it is or why it's
482
00:24:43,849 --> 00:24:47,285
affecting people a certain way
and why it's being,
483
00:24:47,319 --> 00:24:49,988
you know, asymptomatic
in other people.
484
00:24:50,021 --> 00:24:54,559
Just the unknown factor
created a lot of fear for us.
485
00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:58,663
- Early into this, I started
writing things down
486
00:24:58,697 --> 00:25:00,532
in my journal.
487
00:25:01,233 --> 00:25:03,001
I go back and look through it
488
00:25:03,034 --> 00:25:05,837
and every entry I wrote,
it kinda seemed like,
489
00:25:05,871 --> 00:25:08,573
"Okay, this is our peak,
this is how bad it is.
490
00:25:08,607 --> 00:25:10,575
Look, it's finally gotten here."
491
00:25:10,609 --> 00:25:14,145
And then, I write another entry
and it's even worse
492
00:25:14,179 --> 00:25:15,213
and even worse.
493
00:25:15,247 --> 00:25:19,050
- You saw the ranges of
severity with the patients
494
00:25:19,084 --> 00:25:23,121
that were coming in, and
they were, you know...
495
00:25:23,154 --> 00:25:25,323
yes, there were old people
who were coming in
496
00:25:25,357 --> 00:25:26,291
and they were near-death,
497
00:25:26,324 --> 00:25:28,260
but there were also young people who were
498
00:25:28,293 --> 00:25:29,461
coming in who were near-death.
499
00:25:29,494 --> 00:25:32,831
- I have a 93-year-old woman who
came into my practice who
500
00:25:32,864 --> 00:25:35,867
has been home ever since this started.
501
00:25:35,901 --> 00:25:39,037
She came to my office and said,
"I want to be tested and
502
00:25:39,070 --> 00:25:40,972
I want to see if I have antibodies,
503
00:25:41,006 --> 00:25:43,708
because if I do, I would like
to donate my antibodies
504
00:25:43,742 --> 00:25:45,010
to help people."
505
00:25:45,043 --> 00:25:48,813
And what we found out is that she indeed
506
00:25:48,847 --> 00:25:50,181
had had the virus.
507
00:25:50,215 --> 00:25:54,719
And she had it
right then... also.
508
00:25:54,753 --> 00:25:57,756
So she was developing the
two types of antibodies
509
00:25:57,789 --> 00:25:59,257
that we develop.
510
00:25:59,291 --> 00:26:01,359
Didn't have one symptom.
511
00:26:01,393 --> 00:26:03,361
She has so many comorbidities.
512
00:26:03,395 --> 00:26:07,032
And then, I have people that are
in their twenties and
513
00:26:07,065 --> 00:26:09,401
in the hospital and just...
514
00:26:09,434 --> 00:26:11,770
near death's door.
515
00:26:13,738 --> 00:26:16,942
- What made me the most
nervous was the fact that
516
00:26:16,975 --> 00:26:19,277
these brilliant doctors
that I work for,
517
00:26:19,311 --> 00:26:21,212
you know, day in and day out and,
518
00:26:21,246 --> 00:26:25,750
um, the team that I was, uh, working with,
519
00:26:25,784 --> 00:26:30,655
I think we were all scared
and we all didn't really know
520
00:26:30,689 --> 00:26:31,957
how to approach it.
521
00:26:31,990 --> 00:26:33,959
- We were starting to see
our colleagues,
522
00:26:33,992 --> 00:26:38,330
um, and the nurses and doctors
throughout the city
523
00:26:38,363 --> 00:26:42,901
who were becoming
patients due to this virus,
524
00:26:42,934 --> 00:26:46,838
so we knew that, like, we
weren't invincible ourselves.
525
00:26:48,173 --> 00:26:50,442
- [Annabel] And I wrote,
"This is, this is bad,
526
00:26:50,475 --> 00:26:52,143
they're increasing
their age limit."
527
00:26:52,177 --> 00:26:54,779
But each time one of
these changes happened,
528
00:26:54,813 --> 00:26:56,815
I wrote this journal entry, like,
529
00:26:56,848 --> 00:26:59,818
"This is it, we're here, this
is the peak of COVID,"
530
00:26:59,851 --> 00:27:02,287
and then, just the next thing.
531
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:04,422
- There was no training...
not in medical school,
532
00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:09,160
not in residency, not in
fellowship... for what I termed,
533
00:27:09,194 --> 00:27:12,163
uh, before as a "mass casualty event"
534
00:27:12,197 --> 00:27:14,265
that doesn't happen at once.
535
00:27:14,299 --> 00:27:16,768
You have two or three patients today,
536
00:27:16,801 --> 00:27:19,137
five patients the next day, seven,
537
00:27:19,170 --> 00:27:22,007
then 10, then 20, then 50.
538
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:25,810
Um, and it doesn't stop and you
don't know when it's gonna stop.
539
00:27:26,044 --> 00:27:31,049
- As ICU nurses, we, we kinda
strive on being challenged,
540
00:27:32,217 --> 00:27:34,853
but the emotional aspect,
we were not ready for.
541
00:27:35,887 --> 00:27:39,190
We take a patient and we do
everything for that patient.
542
00:27:39,224 --> 00:27:40,959
All levels, we deal with.
543
00:27:40,992 --> 00:27:44,462
From the care to the families
to education...
544
00:27:44,496 --> 00:27:47,032
Um, we weren't able to do that this time.
545
00:27:47,999 --> 00:27:53,004
♪ sparse emotional music ♪
546
00:28:02,347 --> 00:28:04,049
- [Cuomo] In terms of lives lost,
547
00:28:04,082 --> 00:28:10,855
that this situation should
exceed 9/11 is still beyond
548
00:28:10,889 --> 00:28:14,059
my capacity to fully appreciate,
to tell you the truth.
549
00:28:14,092 --> 00:28:17,162
- [reporter] Medical staff
struggle to keep people alive.
550
00:28:17,195 --> 00:28:22,867
In one 24-hour period, 13
people died from COVID-19.
551
00:28:22,901 --> 00:28:24,502
- [reporter] The crisis
in New York
552
00:28:24,536 --> 00:28:26,171
reaching a critical mass.
553
00:28:26,204 --> 00:28:29,007
Paramedics now empowered to
make life and death decisions
554
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:31,743
that were once
considered unthinkable.
555
00:28:32,410 --> 00:28:34,345
- [Dean] The planning
starts from the moment
556
00:28:34,379 --> 00:28:35,313
you wake up.
557
00:28:35,346 --> 00:28:37,348
You grab your clothes,
you're in your car,
558
00:28:37,382 --> 00:28:39,851
you, you know, grab
whatever it is to drink,
559
00:28:39,884 --> 00:28:41,853
sometimes you get there,
you're parking your car,
560
00:28:41,886 --> 00:28:44,556
and you don't remember if you
passed any red lights or not,
561
00:28:44,589 --> 00:28:45,423
you know?
562
00:28:45,457 --> 00:28:47,826
Because your mind is somewhere else.
563
00:28:48,893 --> 00:28:52,564
- [JanMichael] It's affecting all
hospitals and it's on the news
564
00:28:52,597 --> 00:28:57,535
and it's, it's spreading and
it's, it's spreading fast and
565
00:28:57,569 --> 00:28:59,571
these people will keep
coming in.
566
00:28:59,604 --> 00:29:04,275
And there was many times where
it may have been the family's
567
00:29:04,309 --> 00:29:07,378
last time seeing the patient
as they dropped them off,
568
00:29:07,412 --> 00:29:12,250
and a lot of the times, it was
also patients who were dying
569
00:29:12,484 --> 00:29:15,120
up front and we had to rush them back.
570
00:29:16,421 --> 00:29:18,823
- When somebody comes in
in respiratory distress,
571
00:29:18,857 --> 00:29:23,194
meaning their oxygen levels
are anywhere below 90%,
572
00:29:23,228 --> 00:29:25,964
the first thing we'll try
is just putting a little
573
00:29:25,997 --> 00:29:28,066
two-pronged nasal cannula
on you and giving you
574
00:29:28,099 --> 00:29:30,201
a little bit of oxygen.
575
00:29:30,235 --> 00:29:32,003
- They'd come in and
you'd see that,
576
00:29:32,036 --> 00:29:34,606
you know, maybe their
fingertips were blue or
577
00:29:34,639 --> 00:29:36,574
they had this grey color to them.
578
00:29:36,608 --> 00:29:38,910
Then, you had those other
people that came in
579
00:29:38,943 --> 00:29:40,111
and they were starving for air.
580
00:29:40,145 --> 00:29:43,181
- If they need more than that,
we'll go and put a full...
581
00:29:43,214 --> 00:29:44,449
what we call
"non-rebreather mask" on.
582
00:29:44,482 --> 00:29:47,952
It covers their nose and their
face and it allows us to give
583
00:29:47,986 --> 00:29:50,588
them a higher
concentration of oxygen.
584
00:29:51,489 --> 00:29:54,092
When that doesn't work,
you have a couple of
585
00:29:54,125 --> 00:29:55,493
tools in your toolkit.
586
00:29:55,527 --> 00:29:58,229
One is called "CPAP" or "BiPAP",
587
00:29:58,263 --> 00:30:01,132
and that's a mask with a seal on it,
588
00:30:01,166 --> 00:30:04,002
and that gives you air with pressure.
589
00:30:04,035 --> 00:30:07,238
That type of respiratory
support has be shown to
590
00:30:07,272 --> 00:30:10,308
aerosolize the virus immensely.
591
00:30:10,642 --> 00:30:12,944
The other type of intervention
is something called
592
00:30:12,977 --> 00:30:15,113
"high-flow oxygen"
and that, too,
593
00:30:15,146 --> 00:30:18,149
is a highly-aerosolizing
intervention.
594
00:30:19,217 --> 00:30:22,954
Two of the things that we try
our best to use to allow us to
595
00:30:22,987 --> 00:30:25,990
not have to intubate somebody,
allow us to not put somebody in
596
00:30:26,024 --> 00:30:30,461
a medically-induced coma, we did
not have at our disposal early
597
00:30:30,495 --> 00:30:34,532
on because of the great fear
of aerosolizing the virus.
598
00:30:36,701 --> 00:30:38,336
- [reporter] Startling
new numbers
599
00:30:38,369 --> 00:30:40,104
from the New York City
Health Department
600
00:30:40,138 --> 00:30:43,975
showing a 110% increase in
coronavirus deaths
601
00:30:44,008 --> 00:30:46,044
just in the past 36 hours.
602
00:30:46,077 --> 00:30:48,313
- [reporter] Authorities are
also considering whether
603
00:30:48,346 --> 00:30:51,382
to use Manhattan hotels
to help treat the sick.
604
00:30:51,416 --> 00:30:52,984
- [reporter] The healthcare
workers in
605
00:30:53,017 --> 00:30:54,986
coronavirus hotspots are exhausted.
606
00:30:55,019 --> 00:30:57,555
Hundreds are sick themselves.
607
00:31:02,527 --> 00:31:04,596
- I try and put things together:
608
00:31:04,629 --> 00:31:06,664
How many patients were
admitted the night before?
609
00:31:06,698 --> 00:31:08,600
Um, how many patients were in isolation?
610
00:31:08,633 --> 00:31:10,568
How many required ventilators?
611
00:31:10,602 --> 00:31:13,338
Um, how many patients we lost?
612
00:31:13,371 --> 00:31:15,039
- They have feeding tubes.
613
00:31:15,073 --> 00:31:16,307
You're cleaning them.
614
00:31:16,341 --> 00:31:18,276
And they go to the bathroom a lot.
615
00:31:18,309 --> 00:31:21,246
We are turning them so
that they don't get bedsores.
616
00:31:21,713 --> 00:31:23,581
- A bedsore is terrible.
617
00:31:23,615 --> 00:31:25,516
A central line infection
is terrible.
618
00:31:25,550 --> 00:31:28,953
But that's not this patient's
biggest issue and we need to
619
00:31:28,987 --> 00:31:31,689
keep them alive at the
end of the 12-hour shift,
620
00:31:31,723 --> 00:31:33,591
and I need to keep myself healthy
621
00:31:33,625 --> 00:31:35,727
so I can keep helping people.
622
00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:39,030
- [Kathy] We started with
the focus being pneumonia,
623
00:31:39,063 --> 00:31:41,366
then we went into coagulation.
624
00:31:41,399 --> 00:31:46,404
It's just so evolving and we're
trying to keep up with that.
625
00:31:47,672 --> 00:31:52,410
- The whole 13 hours, there's
no rest until you go on lunch.
626
00:31:52,443 --> 00:31:55,647
And if you go on lunch, you
don't even feel like eating.
627
00:31:57,148 --> 00:32:01,953
♪ sparse, tense music ♪
628
00:32:02,420 --> 00:32:05,990
- We're all experimenting with
different medications that
629
00:32:06,024 --> 00:32:09,394
the FDA approves and then
changes over time.
630
00:32:09,427 --> 00:32:13,131
Some of them are helpful,
some of them not so much.
631
00:32:14,432 --> 00:32:18,236
- We've had some people in
their twenties on ventilators
632
00:32:18,269 --> 00:32:21,005
and it really hits home
and it's scary.
633
00:32:21,039 --> 00:32:22,774
- [Dean] You don't have
a magic bullet.
634
00:32:22,807 --> 00:32:25,410
You don't tell that first person that,
635
00:32:25,443 --> 00:32:27,679
"Don't worry, you're going
to do well," because
636
00:32:27,712 --> 00:32:30,248
we don't know that they are
or that they won't.
637
00:32:30,782 --> 00:32:34,118
- [reporter] A rare syndrome in
children linked to COVID-19.
638
00:32:34,152 --> 00:32:37,655
New York State just revealed
64 children now have it.
639
00:32:37,689 --> 00:32:39,424
- [reporter] 64 children,
640
00:32:39,457 --> 00:32:41,559
coming as a surprise, I'm told,
641
00:32:41,592 --> 00:32:46,597
even to some senior State
Health Department officials.
642
00:32:46,631 --> 00:32:49,667
- This kid was just over
a week old and
643
00:32:49,701 --> 00:32:51,336
these were brand-new parents.
644
00:32:52,203 --> 00:32:55,173
We were all very surprised
by it because there was
645
00:32:55,206 --> 00:32:58,142
no sick contacts, they
hadn't left the house.
646
00:32:58,176 --> 00:33:00,778
They were like, "H...
how did he get it?
647
00:33:00,812 --> 00:33:03,781
Where did he get it from?"
648
00:33:03,815 --> 00:33:07,318
And then, they wanted to know if
they were safe holding the baby.
649
00:33:07,352 --> 00:33:08,353
Did they have it?
650
00:33:08,386 --> 00:33:10,054
Could we test them?
651
00:33:10,088 --> 00:33:12,123
And she was like,
"Well, what can happen?"
652
00:33:12,156 --> 00:33:15,560
And standing there
and feeling...
653
00:33:15,593 --> 00:33:17,428
scared too and trying not
654
00:33:17,462 --> 00:33:21,699
to portray that to her,
but I, I had no idea.
655
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:25,436
To be the physician who's
supposed to give guidance and,
656
00:33:25,470 --> 00:33:30,708
and help and to just stand there
and say "I don't know" was...
657
00:33:31,209 --> 00:33:33,277
not a good feeling.
658
00:33:34,379 --> 00:33:36,481
I know what it's like to
be the family
659
00:33:36,514 --> 00:33:37,849
and not understand what's going on
660
00:33:37,882 --> 00:33:39,784
and have a thousand questions
when the doctor
661
00:33:39,817 --> 00:33:43,354
comes in for what
seemed like 30 seconds.
662
00:33:45,189 --> 00:33:48,493
My little sister and I have
always been extremely close.
663
00:33:48,526 --> 00:33:50,661
Um, the day after her 16th birthday,
664
00:33:50,695 --> 00:33:53,865
she suffered a hypoxic brain injury
665
00:33:53,898 --> 00:33:56,200
where you don't get enough
oxygen to your brain.
666
00:33:56,234 --> 00:33:58,736
We spent 14 months as a
family in the hospital...
667
00:33:58,770 --> 00:34:02,540
me, my two sisters, and my
mom... and we just rotated,
668
00:34:02,573 --> 00:34:04,675
and it's part of what
drew me to pediatrics,
669
00:34:04,709 --> 00:34:06,811
and it really shaped who I want to be
670
00:34:06,844 --> 00:34:09,614
and how I want to practice.
671
00:34:10,915 --> 00:34:14,252
- [Annabel] In nursing, we
have policies and procedures
672
00:34:14,285 --> 00:34:18,423
to prevent any sort of
hospital-acquired condition.
673
00:34:18,723 --> 00:34:20,892
That's your job, is to
prevent these patients
674
00:34:20,925 --> 00:34:23,361
from getting worse.
675
00:34:23,394 --> 00:34:24,762
With the COVID patients,
676
00:34:24,796 --> 00:34:26,531
that all went out the window.
677
00:34:26,564 --> 00:34:29,534
I was told, "You don't
go in there to
678
00:34:29,567 --> 00:34:31,135
turn them every few hours,"
679
00:34:31,169 --> 00:34:33,137
which is what we do to prevent bedsores.
680
00:34:33,171 --> 00:34:36,140
"You go in there
only when necessary."
681
00:34:36,174 --> 00:34:37,375
- [Vincent] There's no emergency
682
00:34:37,408 --> 00:34:38,476
during a pandemic, right?
683
00:34:38,509 --> 00:34:41,379
You see somebody who's in a
room behind that plastic
684
00:34:41,412 --> 00:34:42,880
and they need you.
685
00:34:42,914 --> 00:34:45,850
Before this pandemic, I would
just open that door and run in.
686
00:34:45,883 --> 00:34:47,351
Now, I'm saying to myself,
687
00:34:47,385 --> 00:34:48,619
"Okay, slow down.
688
00:34:48,653 --> 00:34:49,720
Is my gown on?
689
00:34:49,754 --> 00:34:50,788
My mask on?
690
00:34:50,822 --> 00:34:52,290
My eye shield?"
691
00:34:52,323 --> 00:34:53,424
It was eerie.
692
00:34:53,825 --> 00:34:57,528
- We were trying to
deal with the PPE,
693
00:34:57,562 --> 00:34:59,931
which was a new experience
for us to this level,
694
00:34:59,964 --> 00:35:03,434
and still render the same level of care.
695
00:35:03,468 --> 00:35:05,703
When you went in these rooms,
696
00:35:05,736 --> 00:35:08,873
which now were plastic
zipper rooms,
697
00:35:08,906 --> 00:35:11,876
we tried our best to coordinate our care
698
00:35:11,909 --> 00:35:14,245
so we weren't in and out,
in and out.
699
00:35:14,278 --> 00:35:16,714
- We would have patients come in
700
00:35:16,747 --> 00:35:20,485
when they were satting out
in the field at 50 or 60%...
701
00:35:20,518 --> 00:35:22,453
and I'm talking about a
normal oxygen saturation
702
00:35:22,487 --> 00:35:24,922
being really 94 and above...
703
00:35:24,956 --> 00:35:27,959
so these were profound
levels of hypoxia.
704
00:35:27,992 --> 00:35:30,828
And if they didn't come up to 90 or,
705
00:35:30,862 --> 00:35:33,931
you know, 88 to 90, 92,
706
00:35:33,965 --> 00:35:36,334
we were making the really hard decision
707
00:35:36,367 --> 00:35:38,202
to intubate these patients.
708
00:35:38,836 --> 00:35:42,573
- That was when I
had to tell myself,
709
00:35:42,607 --> 00:35:43,774
"This is wartime.
710
00:35:43,808 --> 00:35:45,510
This is...
711
00:35:45,543 --> 00:35:48,646
not a normal situation."
712
00:35:49,347 --> 00:35:51,516
- [Liza] When I say
"intubate a patient,"
713
00:35:51,549 --> 00:35:54,252
you're talking about paralyzing them,
714
00:35:54,285 --> 00:35:55,253
sedating them
715
00:35:55,286 --> 00:35:57,555
and putting them in a
medically-induced coma,
716
00:35:57,588 --> 00:36:00,491
and placing a breathing
tube down into their lungs,
717
00:36:00,525 --> 00:36:02,426
and putting them on, on a machine,
718
00:36:02,460 --> 00:36:05,329
and up to 90% of these patients
719
00:36:05,363 --> 00:36:07,465
never can come off a ventilator.
720
00:36:08,900 --> 00:36:10,568
- [Susannah] We're
listening to their lungs,
721
00:36:10,601 --> 00:36:12,270
we're changing the vent settings
722
00:36:12,303 --> 00:36:14,672
so that we can maximize the air.
723
00:36:14,705 --> 00:36:17,508
Like a balloon, you want
to put enough air in to
724
00:36:17,542 --> 00:36:20,711
get it to inflate, but you
don't want it to pop.
725
00:36:20,745 --> 00:36:22,346
- [Vincent] It was almost as if
726
00:36:22,380 --> 00:36:24,615
these people were trying to die on you,
727
00:36:24,649 --> 00:36:26,250
and it's not their fault.
728
00:36:26,284 --> 00:36:29,520
No matter what we did, we
could not oxygenate them.
729
00:36:30,888 --> 00:36:34,358
- There have been patients
who are on a ventilator,
730
00:36:34,392 --> 00:36:37,995
comatose, and then their
cell phone might,
731
00:36:38,029 --> 00:36:41,999
you know, ding, and they got
a text message from someone.
732
00:36:42,033 --> 00:36:44,735
A few days ago, they
were a member of society,
733
00:36:44,769 --> 00:36:48,272
walking around, and now,
they're on their deathbed.
734
00:36:48,606 --> 00:36:52,009
- For a while, we were proning
these patients
735
00:36:52,043 --> 00:36:55,279
who were in very acute
respiratory distress,
736
00:36:55,313 --> 00:36:57,348
and it would take four to five people
737
00:36:57,381 --> 00:37:00,484
and we would actually have to
take these vented patients
738
00:37:00,518 --> 00:37:03,421
and put them on their bellies facedown,
739
00:37:03,454 --> 00:37:05,923
and it helped with their oxygenation.
740
00:37:07,425 --> 00:37:08,993
- If you've ever turned someone
741
00:37:09,026 --> 00:37:10,928
who is, like, dead weight, it...
742
00:37:10,962 --> 00:37:15,466
I mean, it's very hard
and physically difficult,
743
00:37:15,499 --> 00:37:18,703
so we're, like, turning these
patients and cleaning them,
744
00:37:18,736 --> 00:37:20,871
so we're drenched in sweat
745
00:37:20,905 --> 00:37:23,474
by the time we get out
of the room.
746
00:37:24,675 --> 00:37:27,011
- We have a certain number of
negative pressure rooms
747
00:37:27,044 --> 00:37:29,880
in the emergency department
which suck air out,
748
00:37:29,914 --> 00:37:32,583
and those types of rooms
are very limited,
749
00:37:32,617 --> 00:37:36,787
so you really have to make some
hard decisions and basically
750
00:37:36,821 --> 00:37:40,424
decide about rationing
those kind of interventions.
751
00:37:40,458 --> 00:37:41,926
- You're not ready for that.
752
00:37:41,959 --> 00:37:44,695
The idea that we may have
to make a decision
753
00:37:44,729 --> 00:37:46,097
to take somebody off a ventilator
754
00:37:46,130 --> 00:37:48,566
so we can use it
for someone else...
755
00:37:48,599 --> 00:37:51,369
no one's ready for that.
756
00:37:54,438 --> 00:37:55,806
- I think one of the things
757
00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:59,410
that impacted on me most
was the sounds.
758
00:37:59,443 --> 00:38:01,445
I don't even know how to describe them.
759
00:38:01,479 --> 00:38:04,949
The numerous, numerous
rapid responses,
760
00:38:04,982 --> 00:38:09,587
code 64s, that we
would hear all day long,
761
00:38:10,121 --> 00:38:12,456
to the volume we never heard before.
762
00:38:13,124 --> 00:38:15,092
[medical devices beeping]
Somebody was crashing.
763
00:38:15,126 --> 00:38:17,928
Another COVID bed needed to be filled.
764
00:38:17,962 --> 00:38:21,365
You'd hear it and you'd
just have to keep working.
765
00:38:21,866 --> 00:38:23,768
- [Susannah] We hear
these vents in our sleep.
766
00:38:23,801 --> 00:38:27,004
All of us can hear these
tiny little vent alarms go off
767
00:38:27,038 --> 00:38:29,340
when we're barely paying attention.
768
00:38:30,408 --> 00:38:33,110
So they're just... they're...
it's overflowing the hospital.
769
00:38:33,611 --> 00:38:35,513
- There's a problem here,
there's a problem there,
770
00:38:35,546 --> 00:38:36,914
we're running out of equipment here,
771
00:38:36,947 --> 00:38:39,450
we don't have enough
tests in the emergency room,
772
00:38:39,483 --> 00:38:41,452
um, we're running out of antibiotics,
773
00:38:41,485 --> 00:38:42,753
we're running out of sedatives,
774
00:38:42,787 --> 00:38:44,655
we're running out of paralytics,
775
00:38:44,689 --> 00:38:46,957
we're running out of...
776
00:38:46,991 --> 00:38:48,092
stuff.
777
00:38:48,125 --> 00:38:50,828
The stuff that we need
to take care of our patients.
778
00:38:50,861 --> 00:38:52,496
We're running out of staff.
779
00:38:57,568 --> 00:39:02,173
♪ emotional music ♪
780
00:39:02,206 --> 00:39:05,509
- [Vincent] At my hospital, a
lot of my co-workers got sick.
781
00:39:06,177 --> 00:39:08,846
We've actually had two, two
co-workers of mine
782
00:39:08,879 --> 00:39:10,981
pass away from COVID-19:
783
00:39:11,015 --> 00:39:12,850
One nurse and one nursing assistant.
784
00:39:12,883 --> 00:39:14,785
The nurse who passed away,
I knew well
785
00:39:14,819 --> 00:39:17,822
and I worked with him in
the emergency room.
786
00:39:17,855 --> 00:39:20,624
He was in his early fourties,
had children.
787
00:39:20,658 --> 00:39:21,926
He fought for his life.
788
00:39:21,959 --> 00:39:23,694
I remember the day that he passed,
789
00:39:23,728 --> 00:39:25,696
I was working in the emergency room,
790
00:39:25,730 --> 00:39:27,665
and, and, and the news
made its way
791
00:39:27,698 --> 00:39:29,533
downstairs from the ICU that
792
00:39:29,567 --> 00:39:31,535
our friend had passed away.
793
00:39:32,903 --> 00:39:36,006
That was the one day I went
home and cried after work.
794
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:37,908
Um...
795
00:39:37,942 --> 00:39:41,912
it was just... it was like the
wind was taken out of our sails.
796
00:39:44,582 --> 00:39:46,450
That day stunk.
797
00:39:49,754 --> 00:39:51,856
- There's a lot of catastrophe
all around us,
798
00:39:51,889 --> 00:39:55,526
there's a lot of death
and dying around us,
799
00:39:55,559 --> 00:39:59,430
and there's a lot of isolation
that we're just sitting in.
800
00:40:02,733 --> 00:40:04,969
- [Dean] And you go home...
801
00:40:06,570 --> 00:40:09,206
and you think...
802
00:40:11,609 --> 00:40:14,078
"Maybe tomorrow
won't be so bad."
803
00:40:14,111 --> 00:40:17,948
♪
804
00:40:19,650 --> 00:40:23,621
- As we are trying to
get ready for the body,
805
00:40:23,654 --> 00:40:26,223
I realize that I was so overwhelmed,
806
00:40:26,257 --> 00:40:29,059
I, I didn't even finish
feeding one of my patients.
807
00:40:29,093 --> 00:40:31,462
So I went in, fed him...
808
00:40:31,662 --> 00:40:34,765
and then went to get my
vital signs machine
809
00:40:34,799 --> 00:40:36,767
to take his vital signs.
810
00:40:36,801 --> 00:40:41,272
So I went in, tried to
take his blood pressure,
811
00:40:41,305 --> 00:40:43,974
and then the blood pressure keeps,
812
00:40:44,008 --> 00:40:45,142
like, making noise.
813
00:40:45,176 --> 00:40:47,611
Like, pim-pim, pim-pim.
814
00:40:47,645 --> 00:40:52,249
And then, the nurse over in tha
section walk around and came in
815
00:40:52,283 --> 00:40:54,585
and, and heard the, you know, the noise.
816
00:40:54,618 --> 00:40:57,621
So she walked in
and she's like...
817
00:40:57,655 --> 00:41:00,157
"But he's dead."
818
00:41:00,191 --> 00:41:04,295
♪
819
00:41:04,328 --> 00:41:06,030
- When we're giving
post-mortem care,
820
00:41:06,063 --> 00:41:08,632
you know, do we have to
double-bag the patient, right?
821
00:41:08,666 --> 00:41:10,534
Or single-bag them?
822
00:41:10,568 --> 00:41:13,170
Um, what do we do with
their personal belongings?
823
00:41:13,737 --> 00:41:17,708
We send them downstairs to the
morgue and the morgue got full,
824
00:41:17,741 --> 00:41:21,045
so they had to bring in
a refrigerator truck.
825
00:41:21,679 --> 00:41:25,182
And they literally were having
to put these, these people
826
00:41:25,216 --> 00:41:28,519
in this refrigerator truck
because our morgue was full.
827
00:41:30,221 --> 00:41:32,022
- [Vida] So then, I have
three patients
828
00:41:32,056 --> 00:41:35,125
out of the seven patients dead.
829
00:41:35,159 --> 00:41:37,828
It was tough.
830
00:41:37,862 --> 00:41:41,866
But what really
struck me was, um...
831
00:41:41,899 --> 00:41:45,302
the last one had, uh, belongings,
832
00:41:45,336 --> 00:41:49,139
so the lady who transport the
body said she cannot take the,
833
00:41:49,173 --> 00:41:53,043
the belongings with the patient.
834
00:41:53,077 --> 00:41:57,248
Her words was, "Oh, his son said
keep it with the body because
835
00:41:57,281 --> 00:41:58,883
he's gonna burn the whole thing,
836
00:41:58,916 --> 00:42:01,685
you know, with the body."
837
00:42:01,719 --> 00:42:06,156
I know he's in his nineties,
838
00:42:06,190 --> 00:42:09,026
but he's also a human being.
839
00:42:11,228 --> 00:42:13,364
At the end of the day,
I went home,
840
00:42:13,397 --> 00:42:18,702
I went to the hotel,
sat in my tub...
841
00:42:18,736 --> 00:42:21,171
for like an hour...
842
00:42:21,205 --> 00:42:24,008
just thinking about all these, you know,
843
00:42:24,041 --> 00:42:25,609
patients.
844
00:42:26,944 --> 00:42:29,980
And I realized that, my God...
845
00:42:36,754 --> 00:42:38,789
we are nothing.
846
00:42:40,224 --> 00:42:42,726
Human beings are nothing.
847
00:42:42,760 --> 00:42:46,363
♪
848
00:42:46,397 --> 00:42:47,798
[sighs]
849
00:42:58,075 --> 00:42:59,877
- [reporter] The Mount Sinai
Health System
850
00:42:59,910 --> 00:43:02,947
restricting access to visitors
at all of their hospital and
851
00:43:02,980 --> 00:43:06,250
ambulatory sites in Manhattan,
Brooklyn, and Queens.
852
00:43:06,283 --> 00:43:08,652
- [reporter] Mayor de Blasio
stresses the demand for
853
00:43:08,686 --> 00:43:11,655
15,000 more ventilators
for April and May.
854
00:43:11,689 --> 00:43:14,758
New York's stockpile currently
won't last another week.
855
00:43:14,792 --> 00:43:17,261
- [reporter] The number of
deaths is so staggering,
856
00:43:17,294 --> 00:43:19,063
funeral homes can't keep up.
857
00:43:19,096 --> 00:43:21,265
- [reporter] More than
5,000 dead this week.
858
00:43:21,298 --> 00:43:24,802
New York State alone has more
coronavirus cases than
859
00:43:24,835 --> 00:43:27,771
any country on Earth.
860
00:43:27,805 --> 00:43:31,342
- I remember probably
the darkest night
861
00:43:31,375 --> 00:43:36,814
was getting a call from
the intensive care unit...
862
00:43:36,847 --> 00:43:38,882
and them telling me that...
863
00:43:40,117 --> 00:43:43,187
we just used our last ventilator.
864
00:43:44,955 --> 00:43:47,324
And what do we do now?
865
00:43:48,859 --> 00:43:52,363
There's four or five
more hours until the morning
866
00:43:52,396 --> 00:43:55,132
and we don't know how many
more patients are gonna come
867
00:43:55,165 --> 00:43:56,333
because they don't announce themselves.
868
00:43:56,367 --> 00:43:58,268
They don't say "Hey, we have five more
869
00:43:58,302 --> 00:44:00,237
coming from the field,"
they just...
870
00:44:00,270 --> 00:44:02,272
land in the emergency room.
871
00:44:04,074 --> 00:44:06,176
- [Vincent] I was the ambulance
triage nurse that day
872
00:44:06,210 --> 00:44:09,113
and I think like seven
ambulances showed up at once.
873
00:44:09,146 --> 00:44:11,281
And I just had nowhere to
put the people.
874
00:44:11,315 --> 00:44:13,784
We, we were filled up inside already,
875
00:44:13,817 --> 00:44:16,020
and it was a cold March day...
876
00:44:16,053 --> 00:44:20,491
I literally had stretchers with
elderly women on them
877
00:44:20,524 --> 00:44:23,227
outside in the cold, and I just
kept thinking to myself,
878
00:44:23,260 --> 00:44:26,063
"This is someone's mother,
this is someone's grandmother."
879
00:44:26,096 --> 00:44:28,399
- I've certainly had moments
where I'm at the head of
880
00:44:28,432 --> 00:44:30,934
the bed, I'm getting ready
to intubate a patient...
881
00:44:30,968 --> 00:44:35,372
and intubation is maybe the
most aerosolizing procedure...
882
00:44:35,406 --> 00:44:38,242
doing so with my limited PPE.
883
00:44:39,043 --> 00:44:42,379
And I've definitely
wondered, "Is this...
884
00:44:42,413 --> 00:44:45,049
is this the moment
that I get infected?"
885
00:44:47,851 --> 00:44:52,356
- My biggest fear out of
all of this was potentially
886
00:44:52,389 --> 00:44:57,161
seeing one of my family
members, um, in the hospital
887
00:44:57,194 --> 00:44:59,229
in a very dire situation,
888
00:44:59,263 --> 00:45:04,034
and unfortunately, that fear
came into play when
889
00:45:04,068 --> 00:45:07,171
my grandfather was sick.
890
00:45:07,204 --> 00:45:11,108
I remember the day very vividly because I
891
00:45:11,141 --> 00:45:14,178
was on the phone with my mother
and sister trying to coordinate,
892
00:45:14,211 --> 00:45:17,081
so I had said, "Whatever
it is that we have to do,
893
00:45:17,114 --> 00:45:19,316
just make sure that we
get Grandpa here
894
00:45:19,349 --> 00:45:21,485
because I'll be able
to watch him."
895
00:45:22,553 --> 00:45:25,255
- [Susannah] My low point was
probably when I was caring for
896
00:45:25,289 --> 00:45:27,524
a 17-year-old that came in.
897
00:45:27,558 --> 00:45:30,094
She was doing really terribly.
898
00:45:30,561 --> 00:45:34,364
I came into the shift and
ICU doctor just looked at me
899
00:45:34,398 --> 00:45:36,500
and just kinda said,
"Okay, she's gonna code."
900
00:45:36,967 --> 00:45:39,236
- We got him in-house.
901
00:45:39,269 --> 00:45:41,538
I was able to see him.
902
00:45:41,572 --> 00:45:43,874
And I said to my
co-workers at the time,
903
00:45:43,907 --> 00:45:45,809
"Do what you have to do for him
904
00:45:45,843 --> 00:45:48,345
and I'll come see him at
the end of the shift."
905
00:45:48,378 --> 00:45:51,081
- [Susannah] I barely had looked
at her labs at this point.
906
00:45:51,115 --> 00:45:53,817
I hadn't done the things that I
normally do before I...
907
00:45:53,851 --> 00:45:55,252
you know, to start the day.
908
00:45:55,285 --> 00:45:58,255
And I just stood outside
her room watching her.
909
00:45:59,189 --> 00:46:01,225
- He needed a little bit
more oxygen,
910
00:46:01,258 --> 00:46:03,360
eventually being on
intermittent non-rebreather,
911
00:46:03,393 --> 00:46:04,595
so now, we're talking about, like,
912
00:46:04,628 --> 00:46:08,098
the maximum amount of oxygen
that we can provide via mask.
913
00:46:10,100 --> 00:46:15,239
- The biggest difficulty for me
was when I started seeing
914
00:46:15,272 --> 00:46:17,941
my loved ones in my patients.
915
00:46:17,975 --> 00:46:21,912
- [multiple] ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
916
00:46:21,945 --> 00:46:26,517
- I have a grandmother who is
not in good health and
917
00:46:26,550 --> 00:46:29,553
I called my dad and said,
918
00:46:29,586 --> 00:46:33,857
"If she gets diagnosed
with COVID-19,
919
00:46:34,124 --> 00:46:38,262
you really need to
consider signing a DNR."
920
00:46:38,295 --> 00:46:42,866
- I knew that if my grandpa was
gonna be put on a ventilator,
921
00:46:42,900 --> 00:46:45,002
there was no chance that he would survive,
922
00:46:45,035 --> 00:46:47,938
so I, I opted out for that.
923
00:46:47,971 --> 00:46:51,642
I had a discussion with my
family members to see why
924
00:46:51,675 --> 00:46:55,212
I opted out for that, and we all
were having this discussion.
925
00:46:57,047 --> 00:46:59,983
And I remember at this point,
I had called my grandmother
926
00:47:00,017 --> 00:47:02,920
and I put her on speakerphone so
they can, you know, communicate
927
00:47:02,953 --> 00:47:05,055
because I wasn't at work
the next day, so
928
00:47:05,088 --> 00:47:09,359
I wanted to make sure that they
had a conversation in place.
929
00:47:09,393 --> 00:47:10,561
- So I'm looking through
the window,
930
00:47:10,594 --> 00:47:13,997
she's right there, and I see
she's wearing her purple cap
931
00:47:14,031 --> 00:47:17,034
on her hair to try and
keep her hair nice.
932
00:47:17,067 --> 00:47:20,304
But I did talk to the mom
that night and she said,
933
00:47:20,337 --> 00:47:21,972
"Can you put her on speakerphone?
934
00:47:22,005 --> 00:47:23,607
I'm really close with my daughter.
935
00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:25,075
It'll, it'll help me."
936
00:47:25,108 --> 00:47:27,010
And I said, "I'll get you
on speakerphone
937
00:47:27,044 --> 00:47:28,178
so you can talk to her."
938
00:47:28,212 --> 00:47:31,114
We had another patient who
got really sick that night.
939
00:47:31,148 --> 00:47:32,683
And I got involved with that patient,
940
00:47:32,716 --> 00:47:36,186
so I never put her on speakerphone.
941
00:47:36,220 --> 00:47:38,222
- And she was saying
in Spanish to him,
942
00:47:38,255 --> 00:47:39,189
"Fight for your life,
943
00:47:39,223 --> 00:47:42,526
fight for your life so
you can come back."
944
00:47:42,559 --> 00:47:45,062
And at that point, I remember
holding the phone up,
945
00:47:45,095 --> 00:47:48,031
like, while I was holding his
hand and I just started crying.
946
00:47:48,065 --> 00:47:51,301
My grandpa might die in the
hospital and I might be
947
00:47:51,335 --> 00:47:53,604
the only person who sees him.
948
00:47:54,238 --> 00:47:57,074
- So the next morning,
I signed out to my team...
949
00:47:57,107 --> 00:47:59,409
it was a couple hours
later... and I said,
950
00:47:59,443 --> 00:48:02,179
"Please call Mom and
put her on speaker."
951
00:48:02,212 --> 00:48:05,549
So my buddy said,
"I will do it, I will do it."
952
00:48:06,583 --> 00:48:10,053
So my friend texts me the
next day and she was like,
953
00:48:10,087 --> 00:48:11,722
"I called Mom.
954
00:48:11,755 --> 00:48:14,057
Don't worry."
[voice cracking]
955
00:48:14,091 --> 00:48:15,692
Sorry.
[sniffling]
956
00:48:15,726 --> 00:48:17,160
But, um...
957
00:48:17,194 --> 00:48:18,662
she died.
958
00:48:18,695 --> 00:48:23,400
♪ emotional music ♪
959
00:48:25,435 --> 00:48:28,505
- A lot of my co-workers were
just pulling me to the side and
960
00:48:28,538 --> 00:48:30,274
they were just like, "Are you okay?
961
00:48:30,307 --> 00:48:33,010
Do you need to step away?"
And I was just like...
962
00:48:33,043 --> 00:48:34,611
"Nah, like... I need
to be here.
963
00:48:34,645 --> 00:48:38,548
Like, this will
help me, being here."
964
00:48:38,582 --> 00:48:46,456
With the following week, he had
needed less and less oxygen
965
00:48:47,024 --> 00:48:50,560
and had actually recovered on his own.
966
00:48:50,594 --> 00:48:52,763
I was in shock.
967
00:48:52,796 --> 00:48:55,732
To this day now, he's, uh,
he's back at home and
968
00:48:55,766 --> 00:48:59,002
he's hangin' fine, COVID-free.
969
00:49:06,677 --> 00:49:08,612
- [Cherese] My patient
is still intubated
970
00:49:08,645 --> 00:49:09,579
and on a respirator.
971
00:49:09,613 --> 00:49:11,515
I was the only one that she was
972
00:49:11,548 --> 00:49:13,617
able to speak to before this happened.
973
00:49:13,650 --> 00:49:18,755
I was sitting with her,
holding her hand and trying to
974
00:49:18,789 --> 00:49:22,092
soothe her fears about what
may or may not happen.
975
00:49:22,125 --> 00:49:26,129
This might be the last
conversation that they are
976
00:49:26,163 --> 00:49:30,300
able to have with anybody for
the rest of their lives.
977
00:49:31,201 --> 00:49:34,104
- I'd say the
"no visitor" policy,
978
00:49:34,137 --> 00:49:38,108
although completely
necessary and understandable,
979
00:49:38,141 --> 00:49:43,046
was probably one of the most
difficult parts to navigate.
980
00:49:43,714 --> 00:49:47,117
- [Susannah] We had a couple of
pediatric patients that died.
981
00:49:47,150 --> 00:49:51,755
I cared for both of them, um,
and the awful thing was I'd be
982
00:49:51,788 --> 00:49:54,391
on the phone with the mom
and she'd, you know,
983
00:49:54,424 --> 00:49:56,326
she'd be like, "Can I talk to her?
984
00:49:56,360 --> 00:49:57,461
Can I come in?"
985
00:49:57,494 --> 00:50:00,163
The answer was, "No."
986
00:50:00,197 --> 00:50:04,134
- The component of social
isolation during all of this
987
00:50:04,167 --> 00:50:08,071
has been profound, and that
meant leaving family members
988
00:50:08,105 --> 00:50:11,341
out in the ambulance bay, even
just outside in the hospital,
989
00:50:11,375 --> 00:50:13,543
um, in the driveway.
990
00:50:13,577 --> 00:50:18,682
- Seeing people who die and
they die alone because of
991
00:50:18,715 --> 00:50:21,852
these restrictions and not
having visitors and
992
00:50:21,885 --> 00:50:24,087
no one deserves that.
993
00:50:24,688 --> 00:50:27,324
- And before any of
our intubations,
994
00:50:27,357 --> 00:50:30,694
if there is even a
five-minute window of time,
995
00:50:30,727 --> 00:50:33,697
I think we've all taken
that time to even use our own
996
00:50:33,730 --> 00:50:37,734
personal devices, work phones,
whatever we have to try to
997
00:50:37,768 --> 00:50:42,506
Facetime in a loved one, because
I think we really recognize that
998
00:50:42,539 --> 00:50:45,876
those may be the last five
minutes any family member gets
999
00:50:45,909 --> 00:50:47,878
with their loved one.
1000
00:50:47,911 --> 00:50:50,180
- [Cherese] I want my
patients as comfortable
1001
00:50:50,213 --> 00:50:51,248
as possible,
1002
00:50:51,281 --> 00:50:55,085
even if they're making
decisions for end-of-life.
1003
00:50:55,652 --> 00:50:59,523
So I sit and I speak
with them face-to-face,
1004
00:50:59,556 --> 00:51:04,561
eye-to-eye, and talk
about very real situations.
1005
00:51:04,928 --> 00:51:10,133
So it's very important that you
make that conversation count.
1006
00:51:10,767 --> 00:51:13,270
Unfortunately, some people
come in and it's rapid-fire and
1007
00:51:13,303 --> 00:51:16,273
they're intubated
before they even know it.
1008
00:51:17,441 --> 00:51:20,877
- Knowing we don't have a
definitive treatment for this...
1009
00:51:20,911 --> 00:51:24,614
is just trying so hard
for loved ones to connect.
1010
00:51:25,282 --> 00:51:28,552
- As the weeks went on, we did
start Facetiming with families.
1011
00:51:28,585 --> 00:51:31,288
We brought the phones and
the tablets into the rooms,
1012
00:51:31,321 --> 00:51:34,257
we held them up for the
families to see the patients,
1013
00:51:34,291 --> 00:51:38,762
and I'll never forget the sounds
that I heard when these people
1014
00:51:38,795 --> 00:51:41,264
walked into the room to say goodbye.
1015
00:51:41,298 --> 00:51:44,167
It's just like nothing...
1016
00:51:44,201 --> 00:51:47,637
you're ready for in your life,
it's nothing anyone
1017
00:51:47,671 --> 00:51:49,473
should ever have to go through.
1018
00:51:49,506 --> 00:51:53,643
There's nothing that I
can say to make it better.
1019
00:51:53,677 --> 00:51:57,147
You really became one
with these family members.
1020
00:51:58,281 --> 00:52:01,785
- I've even run down the road
trying to catch a loved one
1021
00:52:01,818 --> 00:52:04,521
who's gotten in their car just to
1022
00:52:04,554 --> 00:52:07,390
try to have that
eye-to-eye contact,
1023
00:52:07,424 --> 00:52:09,326
so that they really know
I'm gonna do
1024
00:52:09,359 --> 00:52:11,962
everything I can for their loved one.
1025
00:52:11,995 --> 00:52:15,966
- No one should ever
leave this Earth alone,
1026
00:52:15,999 --> 00:52:18,802
and we do that in this crisis or not.
1027
00:52:18,835 --> 00:52:21,571
If someone is passing and
their family's not there,
1028
00:52:21,605 --> 00:52:23,974
we all make sure someone is in there,
1029
00:52:24,007 --> 00:52:26,877
and I, I feel blessed to be able to do it.
1030
00:52:27,577 --> 00:52:30,714
- We're not their family, but
we can at least be supportive,
1031
00:52:30,747 --> 00:52:33,717
we can hold their hand
as they're dying
1032
00:52:33,750 --> 00:52:37,821
and be with them so intimately.
1033
00:52:38,488 --> 00:52:40,857
- At its core, it's
heartbreaking, but we
1034
00:52:40,891 --> 00:52:43,760
owe it to them and we owe
it to ourselves to do
1035
00:52:43,793 --> 00:52:46,696
that and just remind all of
ourselves that we're human.
1036
00:52:47,697 --> 00:52:49,266
- [Kathy] We...
1037
00:52:49,299 --> 00:52:52,435
tried our best to let them
know that they were...
1038
00:52:52,469 --> 00:52:53,837
cared for...
[voice cracking]
1039
00:52:57,274 --> 00:53:01,978
and... leaving this world
with some level of dignity.
1040
00:53:07,450 --> 00:53:08,985
- [reporter] The largest
study of frontline medical
1041
00:53:09,019 --> 00:53:11,721
workers at the height of the
pandemic in New York City
1042
00:53:11,755 --> 00:53:15,392
found 57% of them had acute stress,
1043
00:53:15,425 --> 00:53:18,261
48% saw depressive symptoms,
1044
00:53:18,295 --> 00:53:22,699
and nearly 75% experienced insomnia.
1045
00:53:23,300 --> 00:53:25,669
- There's frustration at
every turn.
1046
00:53:25,702 --> 00:53:29,039
There's guilt at every turn.
1047
00:53:29,072 --> 00:53:32,042
- You always wonder "Could I
have done something
1048
00:53:32,075 --> 00:53:33,276
a little different?
1049
00:53:33,310 --> 00:53:35,345
Could I have done this better?"
1050
00:53:35,378 --> 00:53:37,681
- We sort of feel like
we're doing a crappy job,
1051
00:53:37,714 --> 00:53:39,883
honestly, a lot of the time.
1052
00:53:40,483 --> 00:53:43,720
It's a virus, we're giving these
meds that don't always work,
1053
00:53:43,753 --> 00:53:45,055
people are dying.
1054
00:53:45,088 --> 00:53:47,057
Every patient, I feel
like I've missed things.
1055
00:53:47,090 --> 00:53:50,393
- I was mad at myself
because I couldn't...
1056
00:53:50,427 --> 00:53:53,029
I, personally, couldn't give
them the quality of care that
1057
00:53:53,063 --> 00:53:55,432
I strive to give.
1058
00:53:55,465 --> 00:53:57,400
- I just felt like a bad nurse.
1059
00:53:57,434 --> 00:54:00,604
I knew what I needed to
do and I couldn't do it.
1060
00:54:01,605 --> 00:54:04,407
- I don't let myself
feel a lot of feelings,
1061
00:54:04,441 --> 00:54:07,310
but the one I do, because I
think it's motivating for me,
1062
00:54:07,344 --> 00:54:08,712
is...
1063
00:54:08,745 --> 00:54:10,413
anger.
1064
00:54:10,447 --> 00:54:14,084
- This is just the basic
standards to make sure that
1065
00:54:14,117 --> 00:54:17,087
being in the hospital
doesn't get them sicker,
1066
00:54:17,120 --> 00:54:19,489
and I wasn't allowed to do that,
1067
00:54:19,522 --> 00:54:22,392
and I wasn't doing what I was
supposed to be doing.
1068
00:54:22,425 --> 00:54:25,595
- Just angry about why
this had to happen,
1069
00:54:25,629 --> 00:54:27,998
why we don't know
more about this disease,
1070
00:54:28,031 --> 00:54:30,433
why we don't have a definitive treatment,
1071
00:54:30,467 --> 00:54:34,971
and why, despite years of
investment in training and
1072
00:54:35,005 --> 00:54:38,608
school and putting yourself
around the most talented
1073
00:54:38,642 --> 00:54:41,444
individuals, it's still...
1074
00:54:41,478 --> 00:54:44,014
it's still not enough to save your patient.
1075
00:54:45,148 --> 00:54:47,584
- [Vida] We didn't even care
about ourselves.
1076
00:54:47,617 --> 00:54:50,920
Some of us do also get easily irritated.
1077
00:54:50,954 --> 00:54:53,123
Sometimes, people don't
even talk to each other.
1078
00:54:53,156 --> 00:54:56,726
It's like, I have my break,
I'm just quiet and
1079
00:54:56,760 --> 00:54:57,927
focusing on myself.
1080
00:54:59,162 --> 00:55:02,599
- [Liza] I worry about physicians
in general and the extent to
1081
00:55:02,632 --> 00:55:06,002
which it's a culture of sort of
martyring yourselves for your
1082
00:55:06,036 --> 00:55:08,705
patients and for the healthcare system.
1083
00:55:10,173 --> 00:55:14,010
- When the numbers got
better in the city,
1084
00:55:14,044 --> 00:55:18,648
our pop-up ICU closed and we
returned to a full pediatric
1085
00:55:18,682 --> 00:55:24,020
ICU, no longer taking
care of patients up to 35.
1086
00:55:24,054 --> 00:55:28,858
And I, surprisingly, really
struggled with that because...
1087
00:55:29,659 --> 00:55:32,662
my city was still struggling.
1088
00:55:33,530 --> 00:55:36,533
- [Liza] It's survivor's guilt,
looking at the colleagues
1089
00:55:36,566 --> 00:55:39,636
that we've lost and the
patients we've lost.
1090
00:55:39,669 --> 00:55:42,539
It's guilt when you are
sick and you've come down
1091
00:55:42,572 --> 00:55:45,842
with coronavirus and you
are sort of sidelined.
1092
00:55:45,875 --> 00:55:49,679
- There were still nurses on the
frontlines dealing with COVID,
1093
00:55:49,713 --> 00:55:52,015
and I was still getting
applauded at seven o'clock,
1094
00:55:52,048 --> 00:55:55,485
but now, I was in my
safe, pediatric bubble.
1095
00:55:55,518 --> 00:56:00,023
And I felt like I wasn't
doing my part in COVID-19.
1096
00:56:00,590 --> 00:56:03,827
- Losing patient after patient,
signing death certificate after
1097
00:56:03,860 --> 00:56:08,932
death certificate is a, uh... a
new low point in my career and
1098
00:56:08,965 --> 00:56:11,668
my life, I would say.
1099
00:56:11,701 --> 00:56:15,038
- An opportunity came
to volunteer with the
1100
00:56:15,071 --> 00:56:18,541
family liaison program,
so I've been doing that,
1101
00:56:18,575 --> 00:56:22,178
where I go into the patient's
room with an iPad so the
1102
00:56:22,212 --> 00:56:26,216
family members can
Facetime their patients.
1103
00:56:26,249 --> 00:56:28,585
- Anecdotally, patient
comes into the hospital,
1104
00:56:28,618 --> 00:56:31,521
a patient that is, uh... has
declared them self what we call
1105
00:56:31,554 --> 00:56:33,556
"do not resuscitate," they're
not gonna be resuscitated,
1106
00:56:33,590 --> 00:56:35,859
they're not gonna go on a ventilator,
1107
00:56:35,892 --> 00:56:37,861
on the verge of respiratory failure.
1108
00:56:37,894 --> 00:56:41,064
Can we give them this medicine?
1109
00:56:41,631 --> 00:56:43,767
No.
1110
00:56:45,602 --> 00:56:49,706
They're not gonna benefit
and someone else might,
1111
00:56:49,739 --> 00:56:53,209
so I can't give you that medicine.
1112
00:56:54,611 --> 00:56:56,713
You feel guilty.
1113
00:56:56,746 --> 00:57:00,216
You rely on the fact that
you hope you made
1114
00:57:00,250 --> 00:57:03,052
the right decision and that,
that medicine you have is now
1115
00:57:03,086 --> 00:57:06,623
gonna be used appropriately
so that, um,
1116
00:57:06,656 --> 00:57:09,459
you are helping somebody rather
than just throwing it away.
1117
00:57:10,827 --> 00:57:14,497
- We've lost colleagues to this
disease and to the emotional
1118
00:57:14,531 --> 00:57:17,934
toll that this disease
has had on the community.
1119
00:57:18,268 --> 00:57:20,270
I can see myself in that suffering,
1120
00:57:20,303 --> 00:57:23,006
and I see a lot of my
colleagues in that suffering.
1121
00:57:23,039 --> 00:57:26,109
And that breaks my
heart and it scares me.
1122
00:57:26,142 --> 00:57:29,245
- Here we are with limited
tests, limited medications...
1123
00:57:29,279 --> 00:57:31,614
medications that
don't work anyway...
1124
00:57:31,648 --> 00:57:35,018
and patients that we need to care for.
1125
00:57:35,852 --> 00:57:37,954
Frustrating.
1126
00:57:47,864 --> 00:57:50,533
- [reporter] The nurses
are extremely, uh,
1127
00:57:50,567 --> 00:57:51,901
extended.
1128
00:57:51,935 --> 00:57:54,804
The work they're doing
is, is nothing short of heroic.
1129
00:57:54,838 --> 00:57:58,107
- [reporter] A life saved
from COVID-19 requires others
1130
00:57:58,141 --> 00:58:02,178
accepting the risk
of self-sacrifice.
1131
00:58:03,079 --> 00:58:05,615
- [Susannah] I do not see
myself as a hero.
1132
00:58:05,648 --> 00:58:07,784
- [Vincent] I realize that what
I'm doing is important
1133
00:58:07,817 --> 00:58:10,987
right now, but I'm doing my job.
1134
00:58:11,855 --> 00:58:14,324
- "Hero" is a hard
word for me to...
1135
00:58:14,357 --> 00:58:15,592
take on.
1136
00:58:15,625 --> 00:58:19,963
My husband, being in the Army,
gets called that all the time.
1137
00:58:19,996 --> 00:58:21,030
He gets clapped for.
1138
00:58:21,064 --> 00:58:22,799
Someone will come up and be like,
1139
00:58:22,832 --> 00:58:24,133
"Thank you for your service."
1140
00:58:24,167 --> 00:58:26,836
And he's always like, like,
"I have buddies who are,
1141
00:58:26,870 --> 00:58:27,837
you know, infantry."
1142
00:58:27,871 --> 00:58:30,573
It never sits well with him.
1143
00:58:30,607 --> 00:58:33,810
I feel how he feels in that, like,
1144
00:58:33,843 --> 00:58:35,078
"Not me, like,
1145
00:58:35,111 --> 00:58:38,214
you should see what my
friends are doing."
1146
00:58:39,382 --> 00:58:44,053
- [Vida] If you have a job,
do it...
1147
00:58:44,087 --> 00:58:45,989
and do it well.
1148
00:58:46,022 --> 00:58:49,058
- [JanMichael] This is exactly
why we do what we do.
1149
00:58:49,092 --> 00:58:53,229
I had felt purpose because I
knew that I was here to do this.
1150
00:58:53,263 --> 00:58:56,599
Like, to, to help, you know,
protect the city that
1151
00:58:56,633 --> 00:58:59,035
I was born in.
1152
00:59:01,738 --> 00:59:05,341
- I was raised in a family that
really focused on service
1153
00:59:05,375 --> 00:59:07,043
and volunteer work.
1154
00:59:07,076 --> 00:59:11,614
I chose to go into healthcare,
and specifically nursing,
1155
00:59:11,648 --> 00:59:16,219
just because I realized when I
was pre-med in college that...
1156
00:59:16,252 --> 00:59:18,888
the human side of it fell
more towards the nurse
1157
00:59:18,922 --> 00:59:20,156
than the doctor.
1158
00:59:20,189 --> 00:59:23,393
Nurses are the ones right there
with the patient every day on
1159
00:59:23,426 --> 00:59:26,763
the hardest day of their life,
trying to comfort them
1160
00:59:26,796 --> 00:59:28,731
and make them feel better.
1161
00:59:28,765 --> 00:59:31,634
While I don't consider
myself a hero,
1162
00:59:31,668 --> 00:59:36,172
a lot of people have been
saying, "We signed up for this."
1163
00:59:36,205 --> 00:59:39,042
I also don't agree with that.
1164
00:59:39,075 --> 00:59:42,412
I signed up to work grueling hours,
1165
00:59:42,445 --> 00:59:47,417
to work an extremely
high-emotion job,
1166
00:59:47,450 --> 00:59:51,888
I signed up to give myself fully
to patients on the worst day of
1167
00:59:51,921 --> 00:59:54,223
their life and to their families,
1168
00:59:54,257 --> 00:59:58,428
but I didn't sign up to
not be safe at work,
1169
00:59:58,461 --> 01:00:02,231
I didn't sign up to feel like
I couldn't do my best job
1170
01:00:02,265 --> 01:00:04,233
as a nurse.
1171
01:00:04,267 --> 01:00:08,237
- I see my office staff
as my heroes,
1172
01:00:08,271 --> 01:00:12,942
coming to work even though they
know it's going to be risky.
1173
01:00:14,711 --> 01:00:16,813
- [JanMichael] I think the
better question to ask is,
1174
01:00:16,846 --> 01:00:18,948
you know, have, have we always been heroes?
1175
01:00:18,982 --> 01:00:21,951
And I think is it just
being shed light now?
1176
01:00:21,985 --> 01:00:23,920
I don't wake up every day and think,
1177
01:00:23,953 --> 01:00:25,288
"I'm this hero," it's "No,
1178
01:00:25,321 --> 01:00:29,192
I'm a registered nurse in
an emergency department."
1179
01:00:29,826 --> 01:00:32,695
- [Dean] I just did what
I needed to do so that
1180
01:00:32,729 --> 01:00:35,465
other people can do what
they need to do.
1181
01:00:35,498 --> 01:00:36,933
No.
1182
01:00:36,966 --> 01:00:38,801
I'm not the hero.
1183
01:00:39,302 --> 01:00:42,839
- Growing up, my grandfather
was my role model
1184
01:00:42,872 --> 01:00:44,140
from almost day one.
1185
01:00:44,173 --> 01:00:46,876
Um, he was a general surgeon.
1186
01:00:47,143 --> 01:00:50,947
He actually encouraged me for
years to not go into medicine
1187
01:00:50,980 --> 01:00:53,983
because I think he really saw
the sacrifice it took
1188
01:00:54,017 --> 01:00:55,318
to be a great clinician.
1189
01:00:55,351 --> 01:00:57,253
He was the one who said, "You know,
1190
01:00:57,286 --> 01:00:58,988
if you really think you'd want
1191
01:00:59,022 --> 01:01:00,223
to do this, try it out."
1192
01:01:00,256 --> 01:01:03,126
He encouraged me to join my
ambulance squad in high school,
1193
01:01:03,159 --> 01:01:04,460
which I did.
1194
01:01:04,494 --> 01:01:06,896
Um, and I fell in love with it.
1195
01:01:06,929 --> 01:01:09,065
When I finally called him and told him I,
1196
01:01:09,098 --> 01:01:12,101
you know... I have
to do this, he, um...
1197
01:01:12,135 --> 01:01:15,004
he actually got tearful
on the phone.
1198
01:01:15,905 --> 01:01:17,440
He was so happy.
[voice cracking]
1199
01:01:17,473 --> 01:01:19,142
Um...
1200
01:01:19,175 --> 01:01:21,044
and that meant the world to me.
1201
01:01:21,077 --> 01:01:24,781
He is my favorite person
in the whole world, hands down,
1202
01:01:24,814 --> 01:01:28,451
and I hope I can be half
the doctor he is.
1203
01:01:31,421 --> 01:01:33,389
I don't have a cure for my patients.
1204
01:01:33,423 --> 01:01:36,859
I, I've lost a lot of my patients.
1205
01:01:39,562 --> 01:01:43,266
I don't... I don't
feel like a hero.
1206
01:01:53,376 --> 01:01:55,445
- [reporter] Doctors across
the country are dealing with
1207
01:01:55,478 --> 01:01:57,914
unprecedented levels of traumatic stress,
1208
01:01:57,947 --> 01:02:00,883
not only from the sheer pressure
from their jobs but also
1209
01:02:00,917 --> 01:02:03,519
the moral decisions they're
forced to make in split seconds.
1210
01:02:05,388 --> 01:02:09,525
- In terms of coping with
this, I think right now,
1211
01:02:09,559 --> 01:02:13,062
none of us can answer that question.
1212
01:02:14,464 --> 01:02:16,899
- We haven't been trained
to compartmentalize
1213
01:02:16,933 --> 01:02:17,867
this many deaths.
1214
01:02:17,900 --> 01:02:19,535
That's the reality.
1215
01:02:20,937 --> 01:02:24,574
- [Shannon] Stress on the job
is something, um,
1216
01:02:24,607 --> 01:02:28,111
you talk about in med school,
but this was different
1217
01:02:28,144 --> 01:02:31,948
in the sense that it was constant
1218
01:02:31,981 --> 01:02:35,418
and it was all-encompassing.
1219
01:02:36,052 --> 01:02:38,921
- It takes me a long time to
really come to terms with
1220
01:02:38,955 --> 01:02:41,958
a lot of the things that I
see in the hospital.
1221
01:02:41,991 --> 01:02:43,960
Um, a lot of the difficult situations,
1222
01:02:43,993 --> 01:02:46,896
I ponder for months and months.
1223
01:02:46,929 --> 01:02:50,399
- I think that we are
in the midst of, of...
1224
01:02:50,433 --> 01:02:54,904
trauma, and you can't heal
until you're past the trauma.
1225
01:02:54,937 --> 01:02:58,508
- We saw so much death
and dying quickly...
1226
01:02:58,975 --> 01:03:00,409
it was... [exhales]
I don't know.
1227
01:03:00,443 --> 01:03:02,945
I just usually gave myself
a sign of the cross
1228
01:03:02,979 --> 01:03:04,413
and...
1229
01:03:04,447 --> 01:03:05,581
stepped out of the room.
1230
01:03:05,615 --> 01:03:08,885
You know, tried to forget.
1231
01:03:08,918 --> 01:03:11,988
And I think I've probably
suppressed a lot of it...
1232
01:03:12,021 --> 01:03:14,323
which is not good.
1233
01:03:16,125 --> 01:03:21,197
- I get a sense of... well-being
when I'm able to call a family
1234
01:03:21,230 --> 01:03:26,102
who has lost someone and just
talk to them for a little bit.
1235
01:03:28,204 --> 01:03:30,973
- We all chatter about
PTSD right now.
1236
01:03:31,007 --> 01:03:33,109
We also don't talk about
the hard stuff often
1237
01:03:33,142 --> 01:03:34,510
at the hospital.
1238
01:03:34,544 --> 01:03:36,646
Sometimes, if you're
caught up in your emotions,
1239
01:03:36,679 --> 01:03:38,114
you're not doing your job,
1240
01:03:38,147 --> 01:03:40,850
you're not caring for the next patient.
1241
01:03:41,117 --> 01:03:43,619
- I really flip a switch in my
head when I walk
1242
01:03:43,653 --> 01:03:46,622
through the door and I,
I go into work mode.
1243
01:03:46,656 --> 01:03:49,959
I'm focused on keeping my team safe,
1244
01:03:49,992 --> 01:03:52,261
doing the best things
I can for the patient,
1245
01:03:52,295 --> 01:03:53,329
and then moving on.
1246
01:03:53,362 --> 01:03:56,966
And in emergency medicine,
things move so quickly,
1247
01:03:56,999 --> 01:03:59,969
I'm almost thankful that there's
not too much time to sit
1248
01:04:00,002 --> 01:04:02,004
and process, in the heat of the moment,
1249
01:04:02,038 --> 01:04:06,042
the emotional toll that this
ultimately does take on
1250
01:04:06,075 --> 01:04:07,243
all of us.
1251
01:04:07,276 --> 01:04:12,014
I cry pretty much every car
ride home after every shift,
1252
01:04:12,048 --> 01:04:15,885
and I think that's
important for me to do.
1253
01:04:16,352 --> 01:04:20,156
To just be feeling the
horrendous feelings that we
1254
01:04:20,189 --> 01:04:22,892
need to feel after witnessing
something like this.
1255
01:04:23,226 --> 01:04:26,229
- [reporter] Mental health
experts say an entire generation
1256
01:04:26,262 --> 01:04:30,199
of medical workers will likely
suffer prolonged psychological
1257
01:04:30,233 --> 01:04:33,035
effects from working through this pandemic.
1258
01:04:33,069 --> 01:04:35,504
- [reporter] There is a,
a real barrier,
1259
01:04:35,538 --> 01:04:37,540
especially in the field of medicine,
1260
01:04:37,573 --> 01:04:40,543
to asking for help.
1261
01:04:41,978 --> 01:04:46,949
- My preceptor was like, "Why
don't you just go take a break?"
1262
01:04:48,084 --> 01:04:51,520
And it... having someone be like,
"Take a break" and then,
1263
01:04:51,554 --> 01:04:53,356
"Just take time for you."
1264
01:04:53,389 --> 01:04:55,491
And I just left clinic and
just started crying,
1265
01:04:55,524 --> 01:04:57,426
I called my husband and I was like,
1266
01:04:57,460 --> 01:04:59,962
"I don't know if I can
go back to work,"
1267
01:04:59,996 --> 01:05:01,397
He's like, "Just go sit somewhere"
1268
01:05:01,430 --> 01:05:03,165
I just sat outside and I just...
1269
01:05:03,199 --> 01:05:05,568
like, cried for a little
and just had a release,
1270
01:05:05,601 --> 01:05:08,571
like, just really, like, "Turn it off.
1271
01:05:08,604 --> 01:05:10,473
Take care of yourself."
1272
01:05:11,540 --> 01:05:13,075
Okay, now I need a tissue.
1273
01:05:13,109 --> 01:05:14,977
[laughs]
1274
01:05:16,312 --> 01:05:20,549
- [Susannah] I don't like to cry
in front of my family because...
1275
01:05:20,583 --> 01:05:23,052
I don't like to bring them into it.
1276
01:05:23,085 --> 01:05:26,255
'Cause they don't get
to move on the way I do.
1277
01:05:28,024 --> 01:05:31,227
- I try not to talk about it
too much. Um...
1278
01:05:31,260 --> 01:05:32,295
my children ask me,
1279
01:05:32,328 --> 01:05:35,598
they say, "Daddy, um, are,
are you working with the
1280
01:05:35,631 --> 01:05:36,666
coronavirus people?"
1281
01:05:36,699 --> 01:05:39,068
And I just tell them,
"Yeah, Daddy's taking care
1282
01:05:39,101 --> 01:05:41,137
of people that have
the coronavirus."
1283
01:05:41,170 --> 01:05:45,341
And I kind of give very brief answers.
1284
01:05:47,476 --> 01:05:51,580
- My program has started
doing weekly check-ins,
1285
01:05:51,614 --> 01:05:54,483
so they do a Zoom check-in
with our chiefs and our program
1286
01:05:54,517 --> 01:05:59,121
director, just as a space just
to talk amongst each other about
1287
01:05:59,155 --> 01:06:02,024
what's going on and how you're coping,
1288
01:06:02,058 --> 01:06:04,126
how you're handling.
1289
01:06:04,160 --> 01:06:06,429
- I think that prior
to the pandemic,
1290
01:06:06,462 --> 01:06:09,098
I tried not to wear my
emotions on my sleeves,
1291
01:06:09,131 --> 01:06:12,168
and I kind of tried to, uh, be very stoic.
1292
01:06:12,201 --> 01:06:15,171
There was plenty of times
where I would find myself just,
1293
01:06:15,204 --> 01:06:17,473
like, you know, I'm not okay
1294
01:06:17,506 --> 01:06:19,775
and that's okay.
1295
01:06:19,809 --> 01:06:22,645
It's okay to not be okay.
1296
01:06:23,512 --> 01:06:27,149
Once you start to internalize
all these situations that are
1297
01:06:27,183 --> 01:06:29,652
going on, uh, especially
as a healthcare provider,
1298
01:06:29,685 --> 01:06:33,022
I think that's when people
are kinda set up for failure.
1299
01:06:33,255 --> 01:06:36,025
'Cause you're not gonna save everybody.
1300
01:06:37,760 --> 01:06:40,730
- And I can't really verbalize
what those mechanisms are
1301
01:06:40,763 --> 01:06:41,831
for me.
1302
01:06:41,864 --> 01:06:45,568
I am able, to an extent,
compartmentalize what I see
1303
01:06:45,601 --> 01:06:50,206
and do at work everyday, and
it makes me worry about our
1304
01:06:50,239 --> 01:06:55,611
interns, um, people who haven't
done this for a long time
1305
01:06:55,644 --> 01:06:58,147
and don't have those mechanisms in place.
1306
01:06:59,482 --> 01:07:03,519
- So I think we just get up and
go to work and give it our all
1307
01:07:03,552 --> 01:07:06,822
and come home and pray
that this will end soon and,
1308
01:07:06,856 --> 01:07:10,393
um, just keep doing the best we can.
1309
01:07:10,726 --> 01:07:12,628
- I'm gonna go up in the shower.
1310
01:07:12,661 --> 01:07:14,397
Okay.
1311
01:07:18,134 --> 01:07:20,302
- [reporter] There are signs of
some progress in this
1312
01:07:20,336 --> 01:07:22,671
daily battle that the
tri-state is facing in this
1313
01:07:22,705 --> 01:07:23,873
coronavirus pandemic.
1314
01:07:23,906 --> 01:07:26,842
New York recording the fewest
number of daily deaths in
1315
01:07:26,876 --> 01:07:28,077
nearly two weeks.
1316
01:07:28,110 --> 01:07:31,347
- [reporter] Promising news in
the battle against COVID-19:
1317
01:07:31,380 --> 01:07:32,715
For three days in a row,
1318
01:07:32,748 --> 01:07:35,718
the number of hospitalizations,
ICU admissions,
1319
01:07:35,751 --> 01:07:39,255
and intubations in
New York have all gone down.
1320
01:07:39,288 --> 01:07:41,724
- [Cuomo] By the data, we
could be either very near
1321
01:07:41,757 --> 01:07:45,895
the apex or the apex could be
a plateau and we could be
1322
01:07:45,928 --> 01:07:48,597
on that plateau right now.
1323
01:07:50,299 --> 01:07:55,304
♪ soft emotional music ♪
1324
01:07:59,508 --> 01:08:03,913
- [Kathy] We've experienced
a lot of darkness,
1325
01:08:03,946 --> 01:08:09,285
but there's been also a lot of
light and just a lot of hope
1326
01:08:09,318 --> 01:08:12,154
around everywhere you looked.
1327
01:08:14,490 --> 01:08:17,326
- [Vida] When a
patient died, I die.
1328
01:08:17,359 --> 01:08:20,496
The fact is, if the patients get better,
1329
01:08:20,529 --> 01:08:24,333
it makes me feel good, so it
pushes me to help and do the
1330
01:08:24,366 --> 01:08:27,503
best that I can, 'cause that's
the reason why we are there.
1331
01:08:27,536 --> 01:08:29,338
We are there to save lives.
1332
01:08:29,371 --> 01:08:32,608
- I was caring for a
patient who was very young,
1333
01:08:32,641 --> 01:08:37,313
he was in his fourties, I knew
that he had young children.
1334
01:08:37,346 --> 01:08:41,383
I spoke to his mother
and his wife on the phone.
1335
01:08:42,418 --> 01:08:45,454
He rapidly declined and, all of a sudden,
1336
01:08:45,488 --> 01:08:47,323
his numbers were way off,
1337
01:08:47,356 --> 01:08:49,225
he wasn't ventilating appropriately,
1338
01:08:49,258 --> 01:08:51,393
he wasn't responding to the medications
1339
01:08:51,427 --> 01:08:53,963
in the way that he should.
1340
01:08:53,996 --> 01:08:56,732
- I'll never forget this
26-year-old female
1341
01:08:56,765 --> 01:08:59,802
who came in walking in,
and within half an hour,
1342
01:08:59,835 --> 01:09:02,838
we had intubated her.
1343
01:09:03,772 --> 01:09:05,808
- [Susannah] I'm looking
at this guy, he's grey.
1344
01:09:05,841 --> 01:09:07,977
He's like the greyest of grey,
1345
01:09:08,010 --> 01:09:10,246
and he makes this
sound that you...
1346
01:09:10,279 --> 01:09:12,481
oof, it was awful.
1347
01:09:12,515 --> 01:09:16,385
- I was talking to him because
his family asked me to.
1348
01:09:16,418 --> 01:09:19,822
His wife said, "Please tell him
'You need to get through this,
1349
01:09:19,855 --> 01:09:22,291
you need to pull through.'"
1350
01:09:22,992 --> 01:09:24,727
- And I remember
speaking to her mom,
1351
01:09:24,760 --> 01:09:26,862
who was primarily Spanish-
speaking, just saying, you know,
1352
01:09:26,896 --> 01:09:28,531
"What's gonna happen to my daughter?
1353
01:09:28,564 --> 01:09:29,965
What's gonna happen
to my daughter?"
1354
01:09:30,633 --> 01:09:32,935
- Trying to get the board
under his back
1355
01:09:32,968 --> 01:09:35,671
so we can give compression's
so it's on a hard surface
1356
01:09:35,704 --> 01:09:38,440
so that they'll work...
I think this guy's about to die.
1357
01:09:38,474 --> 01:09:40,576
- I was like, "You have
to get through this,
1358
01:09:40,609 --> 01:09:43,312
you have to pull through,
come on, you can do this."
1359
01:09:43,345 --> 01:09:46,415
- We were doing everything
that we can to keep her alive.
1360
01:09:46,782 --> 01:09:48,984
- [Susannah] And we
delayed compression's for...
1361
01:09:49,018 --> 01:09:50,786
maybe 15, 30 seconds
1362
01:09:50,819 --> 01:09:52,955
because we were putting sheets on our
1363
01:09:52,988 --> 01:09:54,623
COVID patients, on top of them,
1364
01:09:54,657 --> 01:09:56,392
so that when we gave them compression's,
1365
01:09:56,425 --> 01:09:59,562
their secretions weren't
being spewed onto us.
1366
01:09:59,895 --> 01:10:03,566
- One of my patients, he
would squeeze my hand...
1367
01:10:03,599 --> 01:10:06,569
and seem to be aware
when I was in the room.
1368
01:10:07,436 --> 01:10:09,338
- [Susannah] And then
his heart rate popped up,
1369
01:10:09,371 --> 01:10:11,273
and we didn't give him compression's.
1370
01:10:11,307 --> 01:10:13,709
And... he was fine.
1371
01:10:13,742 --> 01:10:15,911
He came back.
1372
01:10:15,945 --> 01:10:19,048
- A couple weeks ago, we
just had found out that
1373
01:10:19,081 --> 01:10:22,484
she was discharged and
on her way home.
1374
01:10:22,918 --> 01:10:25,054
- I can't even describe
how good it felt
1375
01:10:25,087 --> 01:10:27,289
to just have that wave of relief,
1376
01:10:27,323 --> 01:10:30,459
knowing that he was gonna pull through.
1377
01:10:31,026 --> 01:10:34,496
- I would play for him these
relaxation videos we have
1378
01:10:34,530 --> 01:10:38,767
of the beaches of Hawaii
or the Grecian islands,
1379
01:10:38,801 --> 01:10:40,736
and I would tell him, "All right, sir,
1380
01:10:40,769 --> 01:10:44,707
today, we're going to Santorini,"
1381
01:10:44,740 --> 01:10:46,842
and play the videos.
1382
01:10:49,111 --> 01:10:51,981
- And I think that
idea of, like, you know,
1383
01:10:52,014 --> 01:10:54,650
she's coming home and she's
reuniting with her mother
1384
01:10:54,683 --> 01:10:57,086
and, um...
1385
01:10:57,119 --> 01:10:59,455
it kinda put my mind at ease.
1386
01:10:59,488 --> 01:11:02,658
- He had five kids,
um, and he's fine.
1387
01:11:02,691 --> 01:11:03,959
He went home.
1388
01:11:03,993 --> 01:11:06,095
And I don't think he knows who I am
1389
01:11:06,128 --> 01:11:08,831
'cause he was intubated and
sedated when I cared for him,
1390
01:11:08,864 --> 01:11:12,635
but he literally died
in front of me and...
1391
01:11:12,668 --> 01:11:14,837
then he went home, so...
1392
01:11:15,571 --> 01:11:17,673
that's pretty good.
1393
01:11:17,706 --> 01:11:20,809
- He's finally taken off
sedation and extubated.
1394
01:11:21,377 --> 01:11:24,613
He woke up and asked if he was in Hawaii.
1395
01:11:24,647 --> 01:11:27,750
And [laughs] I guess
if you have to have...
1396
01:11:28,550 --> 01:11:31,420
COVID-19 and be
intubated in an ICU,
1397
01:11:31,453 --> 01:11:33,589
it's not too bad if you think
1398
01:11:33,622 --> 01:11:35,557
you're on a beach in Hawaii.
1399
01:11:40,429 --> 01:11:45,434
♪ uplifting music ♪
1400
01:11:48,537 --> 01:11:52,041
- Some of the patients
also give me the strength,
1401
01:11:52,074 --> 01:11:55,644
because some patients gets better.
1402
01:11:55,678 --> 01:11:58,514
And, um...
1403
01:11:58,547 --> 01:12:03,018
they get extubated, and then,
we rejoice and scream and yell.
1404
01:12:03,852 --> 01:12:05,988
- And when you pull
that tube out, and you
1405
01:12:06,021 --> 01:12:08,657
hear them cough, it is like the best thing
1406
01:12:08,691 --> 01:12:10,559
in the world.
1407
01:12:10,859 --> 01:12:14,396
- Our hospital started a new
protocol where patients who
1408
01:12:14,430 --> 01:12:17,733
recover from COVID-19
get a clap-out.
1409
01:12:17,766 --> 01:12:19,735
[applause]
1410
01:12:19,768 --> 01:12:22,037
- Just to know that these people
are gonna start
1411
01:12:22,071 --> 01:12:26,875
to, like, begin their journey
towards a somewhat normal life
1412
01:12:26,909 --> 01:12:31,180
again, and just to be in those
very first moments of that is
1413
01:12:31,213 --> 01:12:34,717
something special.
[applause]
1414
01:12:34,750 --> 01:12:37,586
- [Dean] Play a little song,
and everybody knows that
1415
01:12:37,619 --> 01:12:38,754
somebody's going home.
1416
01:12:40,656 --> 01:12:42,558
And when you hear that once, it's great.
1417
01:12:42,591 --> 01:12:45,561
When you hear it twice and
three times and four times and
1418
01:12:45,594 --> 01:12:47,696
you start hearing it five, six times a day,
1419
01:12:47,730 --> 01:12:51,700
um, each one is special,
each one means something.
1420
01:12:51,734 --> 01:12:54,770
That's what gives us hope: When
we see somebody getting better,
1421
01:12:54,803 --> 01:12:59,208
when we feel that we've done the
right thing at the right time
1422
01:12:59,241 --> 01:13:03,746
for long enough that...
1423
01:13:03,779 --> 01:13:04,947
they're going home.
1424
01:13:06,615 --> 01:13:10,586
- [Vida] I can't save everybody,
but I will be able
1425
01:13:10,619 --> 01:13:12,454
to save somebody.
1426
01:13:12,488 --> 01:13:13,989
That gives me strength.
1427
01:13:15,157 --> 01:13:16,892
- [Liza] People do
recover from this disease,
1428
01:13:16,925 --> 01:13:20,763
and a lot of people don't have
catastrophic illness with
1429
01:13:20,796 --> 01:13:24,066
this disease, and I have to
remind myself of that
1430
01:13:24,099 --> 01:13:25,267
sort of every day.
1431
01:13:25,300 --> 01:13:29,104
I have a weird and unique
existence right now where I live
1432
01:13:29,138 --> 01:13:32,775
in the thick of only seeing
the sickest patients
1433
01:13:32,808 --> 01:13:34,910
with this disease.
1434
01:13:34,943 --> 01:13:38,180
And that can warp my reality sometimes.
1435
01:13:41,016 --> 01:13:46,021
♪ emotional music ♪
1436
01:13:49,958 --> 01:13:51,727
- Especially my co-workers
that I work with,
1437
01:13:51,760 --> 01:13:54,830
I think everyone's kind of
finding their own way of
1438
01:13:54,863 --> 01:13:58,000
achieving this, like, perfect
state of mental health and
1439
01:13:58,033 --> 01:14:01,970
being able to rely on each
other, confide in each other.
1440
01:14:03,872 --> 01:14:06,809
Like, that workplace camaraderie
has been probably at its
1441
01:14:06,842 --> 01:14:08,977
highest point that it's ever been.
1442
01:14:09,011 --> 01:14:12,514
♪
1443
01:14:14,550 --> 01:14:18,120
- I work with the
most amazing people,
1444
01:14:18,153 --> 01:14:21,723
which is why I have been in
this hospital for 24 years.
1445
01:14:21,757 --> 01:14:23,659
We're a family.
1446
01:14:27,062 --> 01:14:32,067
- There were doctors who kind of
took that hat off and, and did
1447
01:14:32,768 --> 01:14:36,839
anything and everything to help
the nurses and explain things
1448
01:14:36,872 --> 01:14:39,608
and start from the
beginning and the basics.
1449
01:14:40,709 --> 01:14:44,079
The level of teamwork was really amazing.
1450
01:14:44,947 --> 01:14:47,683
- The wonderful thing about
emergency medicine: At its core,
1451
01:14:47,716 --> 01:14:48,484
it's a team sport.
1452
01:14:48,517 --> 01:14:51,687
You rely on your fellow residents,
1453
01:14:51,720 --> 01:14:53,722
physicians, nurses, techs, everybody,
1454
01:14:53,755 --> 01:14:55,858
to get a job done.
1455
01:14:56,892 --> 01:14:59,895
- We vent to each other,
uh, we blow off steam,
1456
01:14:59,928 --> 01:15:02,698
we'll, like, curse to each
other if it's a really difficult
1457
01:15:02,731 --> 01:15:05,868
situation, and we're really
there for each other,
1458
01:15:05,901 --> 01:15:08,737
which I think has been
absolutely essential.
1459
01:15:09,605 --> 01:15:12,174
- [Susannah] You find that, like
most of your social interactions
1460
01:15:12,207 --> 01:15:14,176
are with your residents
right now.
1461
01:15:14,209 --> 01:15:18,080
There is a sense of unity at
the hospital that... it's unique.
1462
01:15:18,113 --> 01:15:20,883
I've never felt that true bond.
1463
01:15:20,916 --> 01:15:25,087
You have a tough time relating
with your outside-of-medicine
1464
01:15:25,120 --> 01:15:27,356
friends because they're
just having such a different
1465
01:15:27,389 --> 01:15:29,958
experience than we are.
1466
01:15:30,392 --> 01:15:33,362
- There really isn't anybody else
who can ever understand what it
1467
01:15:33,395 --> 01:15:37,733
is we've just gone through,
except for the people I worked
1468
01:15:37,766 --> 01:15:41,904
shoulder-to-shoulder with every
day in the emergency department.
1469
01:15:41,937 --> 01:15:45,607
I feel bonded to them for life.
1470
01:15:46,975 --> 01:15:48,644
- [Cuomo] Our healthcare workers,
1471
01:15:48,677 --> 01:15:53,682
who are doing God's work,
when you see them on the street,
1472
01:15:54,182 --> 01:15:57,619
when you see them in a hospital, please,
1473
01:15:57,653 --> 01:16:01,924
just say "Thank you" and smile
and say "I know what
1474
01:16:01,957 --> 01:16:02,891
you're doing."
1475
01:16:02,925 --> 01:16:03,859
- [reporter] Cheering, clapping,
1476
01:16:03,892 --> 01:16:06,762
banging pots and pans,
all around the city,
1477
01:16:06,795 --> 01:16:09,231
New Yorkers are giving a
round of applause to healthcare
1478
01:16:09,264 --> 01:16:12,768
workers out their windows.
1479
01:16:12,801 --> 01:16:15,771
- We've seen awful,
terrible things,
1480
01:16:15,804 --> 01:16:19,341
but we've seen people come
together and some
1481
01:16:19,374 --> 01:16:23,645
amazing parts of humanity.
1482
01:16:24,980 --> 01:16:26,949
- [Sarah] I think that
seven o'clock cheer is
1483
01:16:26,982 --> 01:16:30,819
very reminiscent of that feeling
of, of running the marathon.
1484
01:16:30,852 --> 01:16:33,989
Um, that, like, goosebumps,
chills feeling that,
1485
01:16:34,022 --> 01:16:37,993
you know... this city is so big
and there are so many of us but
1486
01:16:38,026 --> 01:16:41,830
we're really all here for each other.
1487
01:16:42,464 --> 01:16:46,435
- [Janmichael] I grew up
here in East Elmhurst.
1488
01:16:46,468 --> 01:16:49,271
I think I take full pride
in being a born-and-bred
1489
01:16:49,304 --> 01:16:50,973
New Yorker.
1490
01:16:51,006 --> 01:16:52,774
It's... it, it feels good.
1491
01:16:52,808 --> 01:16:55,177
It feels like, you know,
the city's got your back.
1492
01:16:55,210 --> 01:16:57,879
Like, they... like, New
York is thanking you.
1493
01:16:57,913 --> 01:16:59,181
- [man] Thank you guys!
1494
01:16:59,214 --> 01:17:01,450
Thank you so much!
1495
01:17:01,483 --> 01:17:03,018
Wow.
1496
01:17:03,051 --> 01:17:05,954
- This one couple,
um, that every night,
1497
01:17:05,988 --> 01:17:08,824
seven o'clock, are outside the hospital,
1498
01:17:08,857 --> 01:17:12,127
um, with signs... "Thank
you" signs... and cheering.
1499
01:17:12,160 --> 01:17:14,863
Um, it's been night after night.
1500
01:17:14,896 --> 01:17:17,833
I don't know who they are.
I need to find out.
1501
01:17:17,866 --> 01:17:20,335
- Just driving home, I
passed our local hospital.
1502
01:17:20,369 --> 01:17:23,839
Um, people sitting outside with, um,
1503
01:17:23,872 --> 01:17:26,308
pom-poms and
streamers screaming,
1504
01:17:26,341 --> 01:17:28,310
uh, "Thank you,
healthcare workers."
1505
01:17:28,343 --> 01:17:30,479
Uh, and I, of course,
started crying driving home
1506
01:17:30,512 --> 01:17:32,381
so I had to pull over.
1507
01:17:32,414 --> 01:17:34,483
- [Vida] I love New York.
1508
01:17:34,516 --> 01:17:37,319
The other day, my
11-year-old called me and said,
1509
01:17:37,352 --> 01:17:41,723
"Mom, somebody knock on our
door and just brought us food."
1510
01:17:41,757 --> 01:17:46,161
I thought that was amazing, how
everybody is trying to help each
1511
01:17:46,194 --> 01:17:50,499
other, you know, to fight this.
1512
01:17:50,532 --> 01:17:52,934
- [Shannon] Someone pulled up
and rolled down their window.
1513
01:17:52,968 --> 01:17:56,004
Being a New Yorker, immediately
got a little scared that
1514
01:17:56,038 --> 01:17:57,873
I cut them off or something,
1515
01:17:57,906 --> 01:18:01,376
and she just started clapping
and cheering and was saying,
1516
01:18:01,410 --> 01:18:05,881
"Thank you, God bless you,
thank you for all you do."
1517
01:18:05,914 --> 01:18:10,919
- Someone had come and put
a rose on everybody's car.
1518
01:18:11,319 --> 01:18:13,455
At first, I though maybe
my husband came by
1519
01:18:13,488 --> 01:18:15,090
and did it for me.
1520
01:18:15,123 --> 01:18:18,226
But looking around, I saw all the roses.
1521
01:18:18,260 --> 01:18:23,732
And it just gave you a sense of
"We're doing this for a reason."
1522
01:18:24,199 --> 01:18:26,101
- [Vincent] My grandfather
was a member of the
1523
01:18:26,134 --> 01:18:28,770
Air National Guard, and he
was really my role model.
1524
01:18:28,804 --> 01:18:31,039
I lost him, um, early on in life to,
1525
01:18:31,073 --> 01:18:34,042
you know... to his having cancer.
1526
01:18:34,076 --> 01:18:37,112
He used to fly in
C-130s, and sure enough,
1527
01:18:37,145 --> 01:18:40,082
on May 15th, which was the
anniversary of my grandfather's
1528
01:18:40,115 --> 01:18:43,385
passing, what flies over my hospital?
1529
01:18:43,418 --> 01:18:46,388
A C-130 with the
Air National Guard.
1530
01:18:46,421 --> 01:18:48,457
My mother was like, "That's
your grandfather looking
1531
01:18:48,490 --> 01:18:49,791
down on you."
1532
01:18:51,426 --> 01:18:55,063
- [Kathy] The support that we
received from the community
1533
01:18:55,097 --> 01:18:59,935
was just overwhelming and...
1534
01:18:59,968 --> 01:19:02,104
meant so much.
[voice cracking]
1535
01:19:02,137 --> 01:19:06,942
♪ hopeful music ♪
1536
01:19:08,276 --> 01:19:12,080
- I try to leave work at
work, and when I come home,
1537
01:19:12,114 --> 01:19:15,951
it's really just, you
know, time with the kids.
1538
01:19:15,984 --> 01:19:17,385
My daughter, she's my angel.
1539
01:19:17,419 --> 01:19:19,554
My daughter knows that when
Daddy's having a rough day,
1540
01:19:19,588 --> 01:19:22,157
if I say, "Sophia, come give
Daddy a little medicine,"
1541
01:19:22,190 --> 01:19:27,195
that means she has to give Daddy a hug.
1542
01:19:28,029 --> 01:19:33,034
- My inspiration every
day were my children,
1543
01:19:33,869 --> 01:19:38,473
because I think I've learned
they truly look up to me
1544
01:19:38,507 --> 01:19:42,110
and respect me.
1545
01:19:42,144 --> 01:19:45,981
- My passion that's driving me
day in and day out is to,
1546
01:19:46,014 --> 01:19:49,117
one day soon, to be able
to hold my niece.
1547
01:19:49,151 --> 01:19:52,053
I don't want her to forget me
and I want her to
1548
01:19:52,087 --> 01:19:55,023
be able to recognize my
face and my voice.
1549
01:19:55,056 --> 01:19:58,627
- My family is always
by hugest support and,
1550
01:19:58,660 --> 01:20:03,131
um, gives me my, my greatest strength.
1551
01:20:03,165 --> 01:20:05,100
- My boyfriend has definitely
taken on the role
1552
01:20:05,133 --> 01:20:07,469
of cheerleader for me.
1553
01:20:07,502 --> 01:20:10,172
I think his words of affirmation
have really kept me
1554
01:20:10,205 --> 01:20:15,310
going and made me see things in
myself that maybe in that moment
1555
01:20:15,343 --> 01:20:18,180
I wasn't capable of seeing.
1556
01:20:18,213 --> 01:20:21,516
- My husband is a Staff
Sergeant in the Army.
1557
01:20:21,550 --> 01:20:23,885
Thinking about seeing my husband again
1558
01:20:23,919 --> 01:20:29,191
is what I think about every night.
1559
01:20:30,358 --> 01:20:33,161
- My cope and my strength...
1560
01:20:33,195 --> 01:20:35,230
comes from my husband,
1561
01:20:35,263 --> 01:20:39,334
'cause every night,
he'll call me at the hotel,
1562
01:20:39,367 --> 01:20:42,404
and then we will pray.
1563
01:20:42,437 --> 01:20:47,142
This necklace was given
to me by my husband on
1564
01:20:47,175 --> 01:20:50,178
my 20th wedding anniversary.
1565
01:20:50,212 --> 01:20:55,083
Any time I put it on, I
feel like it's my lucky charm.
1566
01:20:55,317 --> 01:20:57,586
- Mommy!
1567
01:20:57,619 --> 01:21:00,355
- Getting to see my
family again was the best,
1568
01:21:00,388 --> 01:21:04,526
and it was the first moment I
felt any semblance of normalcy
1569
01:21:04,559 --> 01:21:09,431
in almost two months,
um, and it was much needed.
1570
01:21:09,464 --> 01:21:13,101
I just tried my best to be in that moment.
1571
01:21:13,134 --> 01:21:16,137
Oh my God, just hugging my
kids and seeing them excited
1572
01:21:16,171 --> 01:21:19,407
and smile... it was the best.
1573
01:21:23,578 --> 01:21:25,247
- [Cuomo] This has been hard.
1574
01:21:25,280 --> 01:21:27,282
It's put everyone under pressure.
1575
01:21:27,315 --> 01:21:31,386
The beauty you see and
the strength that you see
1576
01:21:31,419 --> 01:21:34,990
compensates and
balances for the weakness.
1577
01:21:35,023 --> 01:21:39,294
And I get inspired by the strength,
1578
01:21:39,327 --> 01:21:44,332
so I can tolerate the
heartbreak of the weakness.
1579
01:21:45,300 --> 01:21:48,270
And it's that generosity
of spirit,
1580
01:21:48,303 --> 01:21:53,108
for me, makes up for all
the ugliness that you see.
1581
01:21:55,777 --> 01:22:00,982
- We're fragile, humans, and I
think I've learned the fragility
1582
01:22:01,683 --> 01:22:05,987
of humans during this pandemic.
1583
01:22:06,021 --> 01:22:09,758
- If this pandemic
showed me anything...
1584
01:22:09,791 --> 01:22:12,294
there's still so much to
learn in nursing for me,
1585
01:22:12,327 --> 01:22:15,597
there's still so much out there.
1586
01:22:15,630 --> 01:22:19,634
- I'll always look back on these
moments and, and remember the
1587
01:22:19,668 --> 01:22:23,638
difficult times but also
remember the strength that it
1588
01:22:23,672 --> 01:22:27,776
took us as healthcare workers to
get through it and the support
1589
01:22:27,809 --> 01:22:32,047
of my colleagues and of my
friends that I work with.
1590
01:22:32,347 --> 01:22:34,482
- I see...
1591
01:22:34,516 --> 01:22:41,189
how people are blissfully
unaware of what's going on in
1592
01:22:41,222 --> 01:22:45,026
the hospital, and I'm grateful
for that because I don't think
1593
01:22:45,060 --> 01:22:49,297
everybody should have to see what we see.
1594
01:22:49,331 --> 01:22:53,501
But just appreciate being home,
appreciate that you have the
1595
01:22:53,535 --> 01:22:58,173
opportunity to stay home and to stay safe.
1596
01:22:58,206 --> 01:23:00,809
- I hope it doesn't take you
having to see how bad
1597
01:23:00,842 --> 01:23:03,778
this disease can be for
you to, you know...
1598
01:23:03,812 --> 01:23:05,313
[inhales]
1599
01:23:05,347 --> 01:23:09,351
love your family, hold them tight,
1600
01:23:09,384 --> 01:23:13,421
and, um, not take anything for granted.
1601
01:23:13,455 --> 01:23:18,259
- I wish all those out there
could come into the floor
1602
01:23:18,293 --> 01:23:22,230
or the operating room and
see people dying.
1603
01:23:22,263 --> 01:23:25,400
It shut down your organs.
1604
01:23:25,433 --> 01:23:29,404
They can't breathe.
1605
01:23:29,437 --> 01:23:33,408
This is a deadly disease.
1606
01:23:33,441 --> 01:23:37,412
- [Dean] We see the
numbers as if it's,
1607
01:23:37,445 --> 01:23:40,515
you know, lottery winnings or
if it's how many hours to
1608
01:23:40,548 --> 01:23:42,217
the next debate.
1609
01:23:42,250 --> 01:23:45,854
Look at those numbers and,
uh, see them as real people,
1610
01:23:45,887 --> 01:23:48,356
people that had lives,
that woke up,
1611
01:23:48,390 --> 01:23:51,126
that went to work, that have families,
1612
01:23:51,159 --> 01:23:56,231
that have children, that thought
that they were going to maybe
1613
01:23:56,264 --> 01:23:58,266
achieve something, or maybe
they were getting ready
1614
01:23:58,299 --> 01:24:00,502
for retirement or maybe they
were retired but they
1615
01:24:00,535 --> 01:24:02,570
had lives, they have families.
1616
01:24:02,604 --> 01:24:04,372
Um...
1617
01:24:04,406 --> 01:24:08,710
and my advice is to sometimes
just take a step back and
1618
01:24:08,743 --> 01:24:13,148
think about... think about that.
1619
01:24:13,181 --> 01:24:16,284
Cherish life.
1620
01:24:17,752 --> 01:24:21,423
- [de Blasio] The challenge is,
and I say this very sadly,
1621
01:24:21,456 --> 01:24:24,392
that the coronavirus is alive
and well and living in
1622
01:24:24,426 --> 01:24:25,794
New York City.
1623
01:24:25,827 --> 01:24:28,630
Yes, there's been real
important progress and
1624
01:24:28,663 --> 01:24:30,265
we can and will make more,
1625
01:24:30,298 --> 01:24:34,169
but we're still very much in this fight.
1626
01:24:34,202 --> 01:24:36,371
We cannot forget what we're up against and
1627
01:24:36,404 --> 01:24:37,605
the power of this disease,
1628
01:24:37,639 --> 01:24:41,276
but if we find our own power,
if we act on our own power,
1629
01:24:41,309 --> 01:24:43,511
I'm also convinced we will prevail.
1630
01:24:45,180 --> 01:24:47,749
- The future's pretty
far aware for us.
1631
01:24:47,782 --> 01:24:50,585
I don't think we can see it so clearly yet.
1632
01:24:50,618 --> 01:24:53,421
- [Susannah] I think I'm
still gonna be anxious about it.
1633
01:24:53,455 --> 01:24:56,758
Anxious that maybe I saw a kid
with COVID three days prior and
1634
01:24:56,791 --> 01:24:59,594
I have no symptoms
and suddenly, you know,
1635
01:24:59,627 --> 01:25:03,598
my little daughter has it
and she's hugging Nanny.
1636
01:25:03,631 --> 01:25:07,335
You know, that's, that's a fear.
1637
01:25:08,369 --> 01:25:09,537
- [Vincent] Professionally,
I'm saying, "Okay,
1638
01:25:09,571 --> 01:25:11,306
so we need to not get lax,
1639
01:25:11,339 --> 01:25:12,874
we need to stay prepared,
stay ready."
1640
01:25:12,907 --> 01:25:16,344
I would think naturally, we're
gonna see an uptick in cases.
1641
01:25:16,744 --> 01:25:18,480
- I'm not sure what
the solution is.
1642
01:25:18,513 --> 01:25:22,250
We can get into politics but I
don't wanna go there.
1643
01:25:22,283 --> 01:25:24,285
I think that, uh, if there's anything
1644
01:25:24,319 --> 01:25:26,654
that's gonna destroy
science, it's politics.
1645
01:25:28,423 --> 01:25:32,327
- We still have quite a few
patients and we're still working
1646
01:25:32,360 --> 01:25:35,597
very hard and we're still
living the same realities
1647
01:25:35,630 --> 01:25:37,365
we did weeks ago.
1648
01:25:37,398 --> 01:25:41,636
- If this virus were to
hit at peak flu season,
1649
01:25:41,669 --> 01:25:44,539
at a point when hospital was
closer to capacity and there
1650
01:25:44,572 --> 01:25:48,376
were more sick
people, I, I fear that.
1651
01:25:49,377 --> 01:25:51,279
- I hope we move in
the right direction.
1652
01:25:51,312 --> 01:25:53,848
I pray that we move in the
right direction, because if
1653
01:25:53,882 --> 01:25:56,818
we don't...
we've lost everything.
1654
01:25:56,851 --> 01:26:00,388
- Questions are
definitely gonna be...
1655
01:26:00,421 --> 01:26:05,360
need to be addressed and
conversations need to be had...
1656
01:26:05,393 --> 01:26:10,398
above and beyond how much is
expected of our profession.
1657
01:26:10,431 --> 01:26:12,500
- This is different,
this is a marathon,
1658
01:26:12,534 --> 01:26:15,737
and we're gonna have moments
where we're lulled into thinking
1659
01:26:15,770 --> 01:26:18,740
it's over, and I'm sure we're
gonna get pummeled again at
1660
01:26:18,773 --> 01:26:23,378
points, and I think it's just
trying to be easy on all of
1661
01:26:23,411 --> 01:26:26,948
ourselves and be kind to ourselves.
1662
01:26:28,283 --> 01:26:32,020
- Even with the SARS
outbreak, the MERS outbreak,
1663
01:26:32,053 --> 01:26:35,723
the Ebola, Hantavirus,
all of those,
1664
01:26:35,757 --> 01:26:40,562
they've all been difficult
viruses to maintain and treat,
1665
01:26:40,595 --> 01:26:44,566
but never have we
seen anything that...
1666
01:26:44,599 --> 01:26:47,502
mimics what we're seeing now.
1667
01:26:48,403 --> 01:26:51,039
- [Liza] I think we like to
all think we're really tough,
1668
01:26:51,072 --> 01:26:54,442
that we can sort of handle
anything that comes our way.
1669
01:26:54,475 --> 01:26:55,710
When you're the helper,
1670
01:26:55,743 --> 01:26:58,580
it feels odd, it doesn't feel natural,
1671
01:26:58,613 --> 01:27:01,950
it doesn't feel right to ask for help.
1672
01:27:02,450 --> 01:27:06,054
And I really do worry about that
part of us and... as a community
1673
01:27:06,087 --> 01:27:08,590
and what that will mean
for us down the road
1674
01:27:08,623 --> 01:27:10,491
and in the thick of this.
1675
01:27:10,525 --> 01:27:12,727
- [Dean] There will
be an end in sight.
1676
01:27:12,760 --> 01:27:15,430
At some point, there will be a vaccine.
1677
01:27:15,463 --> 01:27:17,498
This isn't the end of humanity.
1678
01:27:17,532 --> 01:27:21,603
Um, we'll get through this, it's
just a... it's really more of a
1679
01:27:21,636 --> 01:27:24,606
question of how much more
damage will we do before we
1680
01:27:24,639 --> 01:27:25,740
get to that point?
1681
01:27:25,773 --> 01:27:28,576
And I don't think anybody knows.
1682
01:27:28,610 --> 01:27:31,446
- I mean, I know there's
such a divide right now.
1683
01:27:31,479 --> 01:27:36,484
And I, I try and
be understanding...
1684
01:27:37,018 --> 01:27:40,088
because I don't understand
the other side of the world.
1685
01:27:40,121 --> 01:27:41,656
I still have my job.
1686
01:27:41,689 --> 01:27:43,625
Financially, I haven't been hit.
1687
01:27:43,658 --> 01:27:48,663
And I try and understand because
they don't understand our side.
1688
01:27:48,696 --> 01:27:52,634
So we need to bridge this divide
and we need to see each other's
1689
01:27:52,667 --> 01:27:54,936
side and be a
little bit more patient.
1690
01:27:54,969 --> 01:27:58,773
And the bottom line is I, I
think we did do a good thing.
1691
01:27:58,806 --> 01:28:03,811
I think we did stop this
from getting so much worse.
1692
01:28:04,045 --> 01:28:07,949
Uh, the curve is coming down
and I pray it stays that way.
1693
01:28:07,982 --> 01:28:12,987
I pray there's not another
wave of this in the future.
1694
01:28:17,558 --> 01:28:20,695
- [Dr. Adhanom] The pandemic has
shown us that there is no health
1695
01:28:20,728 --> 01:28:23,564
without health workers.
1696
01:28:23,598 --> 01:28:27,001
More than kindness, more than love,
1697
01:28:27,035 --> 01:28:32,040
compassion is the emotion
that most makes us human.
1698
01:28:34,842 --> 01:28:36,678
- [Dean] The healthcare industry,
I think, is
1699
01:28:36,711 --> 01:28:38,880
a different group, it's a
different set of people.
1700
01:28:38,913 --> 01:28:41,683
They are the ones that
wanna learn a little bit more
1701
01:28:41,716 --> 01:28:45,019
so that we can do a little bit
better for our patients.
1702
01:28:45,787 --> 01:28:50,058
- I know, when I leave work, I
try my absolute hardest for
1703
01:28:50,091 --> 01:28:51,893
every patient I see.
1704
01:28:51,926 --> 01:28:56,864
And I have to continue on that
kind of work and I have to rely
1705
01:28:56,898 --> 01:28:59,534
on that work ethic and try to help them.
1706
01:29:01,069 --> 01:29:05,973
It's a deep-seated
calling and a call to help.
1707
01:29:06,007 --> 01:29:08,676
- You know, I figure if I
can get through this...
1708
01:29:08,710 --> 01:29:10,912
then I can get through
anything, 'cause this is
1709
01:29:10,945 --> 01:29:13,715
one of the toughest things
I've ever experienced.
1710
01:29:14,749 --> 01:29:17,618
- What I've seen is a, uh...
an evolution of our staff.
1711
01:29:17,652 --> 01:29:20,555
You see people who start with
that fear that I talked about
1712
01:29:20,588 --> 01:29:24,726
to, to just kind of morphing
into these, these warriors,
1713
01:29:24,759 --> 01:29:28,730
really just going up, uh, and
beyond what they usually do.
1714
01:29:30,098 --> 01:29:33,868
- [Cherese] I had offered my
staff the ability to either stay
1715
01:29:33,901 --> 01:29:36,471
home or come to work.
1716
01:29:36,504 --> 01:29:40,074
I did have a group that
wished to stay to help me.
1717
01:29:40,108 --> 01:29:45,113
And I, I can't even form
words to say how grateful I am.
1718
01:29:46,114 --> 01:29:50,585
That selfless act...
I'm just in awe of them.
1719
01:29:51,619 --> 01:29:53,788
- The satisfaction...
1720
01:29:53,821 --> 01:29:58,826
in seeing somebody getting
better makes me feel good.
1721
01:30:01,162 --> 01:30:04,098
I love my family...
1722
01:30:04,132 --> 01:30:06,934
but I love my job.
1723
01:30:07,969 --> 01:30:10,938
- [Dean] The nurses are,
are the backbone of,
1724
01:30:10,972 --> 01:30:11,906
of medicine.
1725
01:30:11,939 --> 01:30:16,077
They're the ones who deliver what we order.
1726
01:30:16,110 --> 01:30:18,746
I can type in an order
and say "This patient
1727
01:30:18,780 --> 01:30:21,115
needs that" but, you know, that's simple.
1728
01:30:21,149 --> 01:30:23,251
The nurses take care of the human part.
1729
01:30:23,284 --> 01:30:27,955
Um, and they, they really do
that in a way that you know
1730
01:30:27,989 --> 01:30:28,956
they care for them.
1731
01:30:28,990 --> 01:30:33,127
They care for them as people,
as human beings.
1732
01:30:33,161 --> 01:30:37,131
- It's a lot about setting
aside that level of comfort,
1733
01:30:37,165 --> 01:30:39,667
because my, my
comfort doesn't matter.
1734
01:30:39,700 --> 01:30:42,170
What exactly can we do to
save this person's life?
1735
01:30:42,203 --> 01:30:45,706
It's not about my comfort level.
1736
01:30:46,841 --> 01:30:50,611
- I think going to work
has... it's been hard but...
1737
01:30:50,645 --> 01:30:52,947
I wish this wasn't happening,
I wish people weren't
1738
01:30:52,980 --> 01:30:56,784
going through this, but if given
a choice to stay home or go to
1739
01:30:56,818 --> 01:31:00,822
the hospital and be a nurse, I
wouldn't change anything.
1740
01:31:02,323 --> 01:31:06,527
- [Annabel] Before
this pandemic, I was...
1741
01:31:06,561 --> 01:31:09,030
uncertain if I should be a nurse.
1742
01:31:09,063 --> 01:31:13,534
Nursing is exhausting, it
has a very high burn-out rate,
1743
01:31:13,568 --> 01:31:15,837
especially when you're
working night shift.
1744
01:31:15,870 --> 01:31:19,974
But this pandemic kind of changed that.
1745
01:31:20,007 --> 01:31:23,578
I am very grateful to be a nurse right now.
1746
01:31:23,611 --> 01:31:27,682
I have a skill-set that
gives me a sense of purpose,
1747
01:31:27,715 --> 01:31:31,185
and I get to go to work every
day and do something to try and
1748
01:31:31,219 --> 01:31:33,754
make it better.
1749
01:31:33,788 --> 01:31:38,793
- There is no one there
who doesn't deserve thanks.
1750
01:31:39,026 --> 01:31:40,995
No one.
1751
01:31:41,028 --> 01:31:43,731
Uh, how do you thank them?
1752
01:31:43,764 --> 01:31:47,001
How do you thank somebody for
devoting their life to
1753
01:31:47,034 --> 01:31:51,072
someone else's?
1754
01:31:51,105 --> 01:31:53,241
There's no way of thanking them.
1755
01:31:53,274 --> 01:31:55,943
Um, we can't afford to give
them raises and,
1756
01:31:55,977 --> 01:31:59,080
and that's no thanks either.
Um, it's not enough.
1757
01:31:59,113 --> 01:32:01,215
You can give them food,
you can give them
1758
01:32:01,249 --> 01:32:04,785
bottles of wine, you can
give them the day off,
1759
01:32:04,819 --> 01:32:06,754
but...
1760
01:32:06,787 --> 01:32:10,358
you really can't thank
them for what they're doing.
1761
01:32:10,391 --> 01:32:13,194
- We're trying to make a
difference and we're hoping we
1762
01:32:13,227 --> 01:32:15,196
did, um...
1763
01:32:15,229 --> 01:32:17,031
big or small.
1764
01:32:17,064 --> 01:32:20,635
And it's, it's, it's... it really
is an honor to do what
1765
01:32:20,668 --> 01:32:22,870
we're doing.
1766
01:32:22,904 --> 01:32:24,906
- Just don't thank me.
1767
01:32:24,939 --> 01:32:29,377
Just wear the mask, social distancing,
1768
01:32:29,410 --> 01:32:31,612
and wash your hands and stay safe.
1769
01:32:31,646 --> 01:32:33,915
That's the "thank you" I want.
1770
01:32:33,948 --> 01:32:38,953
♪ emotional music ♪
1771
01:32:52,967 --> 01:32:56,671
♪ soft piano music ♪
1772
01:32:56,704 --> 01:32:58,940
- Why did I come
here tonight to talk?
1773
01:32:58,973 --> 01:33:01,976
Um, to chat with you, to, to do this film,
1774
01:33:02,009 --> 01:33:03,110
this documentary?
1775
01:33:03,144 --> 01:33:05,680
Um...
1776
01:33:05,713 --> 01:33:08,783
- When Sarah told me
about the project,
1777
01:33:08,816 --> 01:33:11,953
all I asked Sarah was...
1778
01:33:11,986 --> 01:33:14,789
"Would it reach an audience?"
1779
01:33:14,822 --> 01:33:20,261
And I think even if somebody
hear what I have to say,
1780
01:33:20,294 --> 01:33:22,997
at least I did something good.
1781
01:33:23,030 --> 01:33:25,866
Just to at least save one person.
1782
01:33:25,900 --> 01:33:30,972
- I think it's important to
see... the human side
1783
01:33:31,005 --> 01:33:32,106
of all of this.
1784
01:33:32,139 --> 01:33:36,143
Um, to hear about what it
was like in the hospital.
1785
01:33:36,177 --> 01:33:39,847
- I think it's important to know
about the individual and why
1786
01:33:39,880 --> 01:33:41,983
they do what they do and who are they,
1787
01:33:42,016 --> 01:33:45,019
as opposed to, you know,
what's going on just at work,
1788
01:33:45,052 --> 01:33:47,188
because before this
pandemic, prior... uh,
1789
01:33:47,221 --> 01:33:49,957
after this pandemic,
we... we are people
1790
01:33:49,991 --> 01:33:51,892
and we have our own lives.
1791
01:33:51,926 --> 01:33:55,830
- Um, and I think it's really
important to get that word out
1792
01:33:55,863 --> 01:33:59,133
and that perspective out so that
the community can continue to
1793
01:33:59,166 --> 01:34:04,038
rally around that, even when we
all get really tired of having
1794
01:34:04,071 --> 01:34:07,008
to stay home and having to do
the things that we don't
1795
01:34:07,041 --> 01:34:09,343
wanna do anymore,
like socially distance,
1796
01:34:09,377 --> 01:34:14,215
wear a mask, um, not go
see our older loved ones.
1797
01:34:14,915 --> 01:34:17,351
- I want to get the message
out there and put
1798
01:34:17,385 --> 01:34:20,221
some meaning behind those
numbers that we see on TV,
1799
01:34:20,254 --> 01:34:23,991
put some meaning behind,
um, the success stories,
1800
01:34:24,025 --> 01:34:29,030
and put some meaning behind what
we normally do on a day-to-day
1801
01:34:29,363 --> 01:34:34,368
basis, how we help each other,
how humanity is supposed to be.
1802
01:34:35,269 --> 01:34:39,240
- I wanted to be a part of this
project so people remembered the
1803
01:34:39,273 --> 01:34:43,911
positive parts about this,
that people came together,
1804
01:34:43,944 --> 01:34:48,015
and that we saw goodness.
1805
01:34:48,049 --> 01:34:51,185
- I was just hoping to...
1806
01:34:51,218 --> 01:34:55,756
be a voice for the
amazing people I work with,
1807
01:34:55,790 --> 01:34:58,926
and to shine a light on what we
do and just how important
1808
01:34:58,959 --> 01:35:02,063
this is, what we're fighting for in there,
1809
01:35:02,096 --> 01:35:04,765
what we're fighting for in that unit.
1810
01:35:05,099 --> 01:35:07,435
- Um, long after this is over...
1811
01:35:07,468 --> 01:35:11,305
we can't forget the things that
we learned from this pandemic.
1812
01:35:13,574 --> 01:35:18,779
- If I can... in just a small
way... get people to think about...
1813
01:35:21,949 --> 01:35:25,920
their neighbors, their friends,
or even people they don't know
1814
01:35:25,953 --> 01:35:28,556
in a, in a, in a lighter manner,
1815
01:35:28,589 --> 01:35:31,225
in a, in a more pleasant manner,
1816
01:35:31,258 --> 01:35:35,796
then I've probably accomplished
more with coming out here
1817
01:35:35,830 --> 01:35:38,833
than I did in the last three
months. [laughs]
1818
01:35:38,866 --> 01:35:43,437
♪