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(MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
KELSA: One of the reasons I like animals so much
is that they're all named after what makes them unique.
Here are some of my favorites.
And they should pop up somewhere around here,
I believe.
The pink fairy armadillo,
the blue-footed booby,
scaptia beyonceae or the Beyoncé fly,
and the blobfish.
What makes them unique
is also what helps them survive.
(PHONE CHIMES)
(MESSAGE NOTIFICATIONS POP)
(ELECTROPOP SONG PLAYING)
(PHONE KEYPAD CLACKING)
WOMAN: Kelsa!
The mornin's not gettin' any younger.
KELSA: And this is true for humans.
We're a part of the animal kingdom, too,
aren't we? Take my mom.
She's got this whole mother elephant thing going on.
Mess with her baby and she'll trample all over you.
I think it's a little extra.
-Hey, love. Good morning. -Hey, good mornin'.
Last first day of school ever. Are you nervous?
-No. -It's okay to be.
I'm not.
Oh, we wearin' boas now?
Can I get me one?
Are you wearing a bra?
What? Mom, law of averages.
Oh, it passes the law.
The average mom would be concerned
that her average daughter was properly covering the girls.
Ugh. Please don't call them that.
-That's what they are. -KELSA: A lot extra.
Where you goin'? Oh, I see.
EM: Look at this color! You can see me from...
(EM AND CHRIS GASP)
(ALL SQUEAL)
Look at you!
KELSA: My best friends make survival look good.
Okay, you're giving.
-Look at you! -I know! Yeah. And
-what are you giving? NASA? -Don't come for me.
Please tell me you went shopping this summer?
Of course I did. Who do you think I am?
-Yeah, come on. -Wow.
First day of school, bitches. Here we go.
KELSA: Some animals use aposematic signals
which basically means you survive by serving looks.
Em's the best at this.
I bought this online and the model looked so cute.
But then it arrived, and look,
you can see my ass from space.
KELSA: Uh... Usually.
She's like the panther chameleon.
Emphasis on "panther."
If she likes something from your closet,
you gotta let her have it.
All I had to eat last night was a box of mac and cheese.
KELSA: Chris is a howler monkey,
honey badger.
She's like, "I am here and I am chaos, honey."
Girl, you do know that's a meal for kids, right?
CHRIS: Yeah. It's all Mike knows how to cook.
But it's like, "I don't cook. I grill."
It's like, "Shut up.
"Experiment with gay porn already."
EM: Oh, my God. KELSA: Oh!
CHRIS: You know what I mean?
KELSA: Whatever it is, I'm here for it.
What's cool is survival is creative.
WOMAN: Khalid!
-Arwin! -(EXHALES HEAVILY)
KELSA: Meerkats survive by keeping their family close.
-Ooh, good morning. -KHAL: Good morning.
ARWIN: Good morning.
Uh, Arwin, what's up with your hair?
Uh, it's my pompadour.
KELSA: Basically, every animal and every person
has her own survival mechanism.
And no matter how amazing or rare,
they're all a part of nature.
Uh, let's just try for normal, okay?
-All right. -(SELDA CHUCKLES)
But listen, if you don't like this,
can I get a skullet?
What's that?
It's... It's like a mullet, but, like, shaved up front,
and then, really long in the back.
-Sure. -No.
(BOTH LAUGH)
But, you know, speaking of, uh, boyfriends,
we're kinda seeing you with a boyfriend this year.
-Uh, nah. Full stop. Cut it. -(EM CHUCKLES)
(ELECTROPOP SONG CONTINUES)
SELDA: Eat your food. Come on.
Was Grease auditions today at school?
-Sasan! -Sorry.
KELSA: Thing is, I'm gonna be out in the real world
after senior year.
-New ecosystem, new threats. -(STUDENTS CHEER)
Sometimes, I catch myself worrying a little
about how I'm gonna get by.
(STUDENTS WHOOPING AND LAUGHING)
-(SCHOOL BELL RINGING) -(PANTS)
So glad you could join us, Ms. Kelsa.
Good morning, everybody. (LAUGHS)
STUDENTS: Good morning.
My name is Ms. Kidd.
And today, we are going to paint portraits.
Now, I want you to pick a partner
and paint each other in the style of your choice.
Okay, now go.
Pick a partner. (LAUGHS)
Don't be shy.
Hi, you wanna...?
-Didn't I have you last year? -BOY: Yeah, did you miss me?
(CHUCKLES)
Hey.
Um, yeah? Yes, yes.
Can I borrow some of that millennial pink?
Yeah, but that is not millennial pink.
That is flamingo pink.
Okay. Uh, that one?
KHAL: That's ballet slipper pink.
That one?
That's just pink pink.
(SMACKS LIPS) All right,
we got a color purist up in here.
Yeah, well, I don't like to oversimplify things.
It makes everything kind of boring.
Oh! What style is this?
Um, it's kinda like street art, I guess.
Is that okay?
Oh, yes, yes.
Put a little more cleft in that chin.
Oh! Think pink. (CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
Uh, what's going on with my chin?
Nothing. Nothing.
-Nothing at all. -(CHUCKLES)
Let me see.
(SCOFFS) No way. That's so good.
Yeah.
You... You can have it.
Really?
Yeah.
You're so nice.
-No, I'm not. -(BOTH CHUCKLE)
Yes, you are.
I remember, last year
Joey Zhang made a ceramic soccer ball
and put it in the kiln.
After he left, you grabbed it, punched a hole in it
so it wouldn't explode with the heat.
Yeah, well, maybe I was
trying to protect my Egyptian faience pot
from the detritus.
You were already glazing your Egyptian faience pot.
Joey was the only one still sculpting.
-Well, Joey's my friend. -Nah.
You're perpetually nice.
There's nothing wrong with that.
-Okay. -(LAUGHS)
Can I see yours?
Oh, wow.
That... That is...
That is great.
Where did my ear go?
Ears are hard.
Yeah, that's valid.
Yeah.
(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)
MS. KIDD: Excellent work, everyone.
Excellent.
KHAL: And here you go.
MS. KIDD: Don't forget your assignment for next week.
All right, who's gonna help me clean up?
Anybody? Anybody wanna stay and help?
I don't even have blue eyes.
Dude, I'm not gonna lie to you.
You're blind and you're colorblind.
MIKE: That looks nothing like me.
I don't know what you're talking about.
MS. KIDD: Thank you.
KELSA: I think this year's goal
is to actually find out more
than just what I need to survive in this world.
I wanna find out how to thrive.
I wanna be like my girl, the pharaoh cuttlefish.
She knows when to blend in.
She keeps a sharp tongue.
And she never forgets
she is sick AF.
-Hey, love. -Hey. (LAUGHS)
How was it?
-Oh, it... It was good, yeah. -Wonderful.
What? Dag, Mom.
On the first day?
You wanted to go to school out of state
and leave me here to fend for myself.
-Oh, girl, okay. -You could always go
to the community college up the hill.
Love you, Mom, but it's either New York or LA.
What do they have that Pittsburgh doesn't?
-It's what they don't have. -What?
-People that know me. -(CHUCKLES)
Well, you gonna need a scholarship
-and a damn good application. -Oh, my God.
Come on. Sit right up in here.
-The throne awaits you. -(LAUGHS)
Take the faux fur off.
Oh, okay.
-Get your brain on. -(LAUGHS)
"Recount a time when you faced a challenge,
"setback or failure
"and responded with bravery.
"How did it affect you
"and what did you learn from the experience?"
Bravery.
I don't wanna get in just because I'm trans.
You'll get in because you're you.
You can write about what happened with your dad.
-Uh, I don't wanna exploit... -No.
You're not exploiting anything.
It's your story to tell.
But it doesn't say anything about me.
Of course it does.
You went through all that and you came out stronger.
You know what that shows?
-Bravery. -(LAUGHS)
SELENE: Mmm-hmm.
-Oh, my God. Okay. -Mmm-hmm.
Call on him.
-(LAUGHS) -Yes.
It's real funny.
Especially when you start writin' it down.
B...
-Mmm, no, no. -R...
(BOTH LAUGH)
KELSA: So, what do you want me to talk about next?
Nature?
Trans stuff?
Put it in the comments.
-(COMPUTER CHIMES) -I'm down for whatever.
(DOWNTEMPO MUSIC PLAYING)
So, I, 25, female,
met what seemed to be the perfect guy, 26, male.
But afterwards I tried texting
and he totally ghosted.
So,
how do you get over someone you never even dated?
KHAL: I don't think there's any tried and true cure
for heartbreak.
Listen to your favorite sad songs,
cry as much as you need.
It might take awhile, but one day,
before you realize it, the pain will be gone.
BOY: I, 16M, have this amazing girlfriend, 16F.
She's everything that I ever dreamed of.
(SIGHS) The thing is...
I like to LARP as a High Elf.
I really want to do it around her,
but I'm kind of embarrassed.
-Yo, Otis. -OTIS: Mmm.
Do you know what LARPing is?
Um...
I don't know. Sounds like some loser shit.
LARPing.
Okay...
I think the whole point of having a partner
is to be able to be completely yourself
around another person.
Show her what you're passionate about, dude.
-(KEYBOARD CLACKING) -Who knows,
she might even be into it.
My boyfriend keeps telling me I need to lose weight.
KHAL: Stop. I don't even have to read any further.
This guy sounds really manipulative.
-(KEYBOARD CLACKING) -Dump him.
Yo, what are you doing?
N... Nothing.
You done with my notes yet?
No, I...
Oh. Chance and Kevin are going to the Pirates game tonight.
-You wanna go? -I'm not that close with them.
All good. You're rollin' with me.
Like that gives me any credibility.
-Hey, I got you. (SCOFFS) -Okay.
I mean, what are you gonna do
besides simpin' on Reddit all day?
Well...
Yo, does the SAT still have an essay section?
Eh, I don't think it does anymore.
SELDA: Khalid! Otis! Dinner!
OTIS: Delicious as always, Mrs. Z.
You're always welcome here, Otis.
And tell your mother these flowers are beautiful.
And it would be Khalid's pleasure
to help you apply for community college.
Are you kidding? I mean, without Khal
I wouldn't have passed kindergarten.
(CHUCKLES) And how about you, pesaram?
Your college essay?
Uh, it's not due for, like, five months.
Put it off and you'll end up like your cousin Nahid,
studying poetry.
Wait, you can study poetry?
I grab a bite to eat. My shoes are on my feet.
-(LAUGHTER) -Hey, Mr. Z! That was good.
-Z snaps. Z snaps. -(OTHERS EXCLAIM)
Sasan, please, don't embarrass yourself.
Really? Oh, my God, Dad. Oh, my God.
Yeah, well, you do know
that the first love poems were written by Muslims.
(CHUCKLES) Viable career option in the 13th century.
(ALL CHUCKLE)
You wanna study poetry?
No, no...
You know, something creative or...
I don't know, something where I can use my hands.
SELDA: Hands?
I thought you decided on Economics.
-No. You did. -Wait a second.
You don't wanna go to college?
No. I don't know.
I'm just saying that there are other options
than the whole four-year academic thing.
-Who says I have to do that? -I do.
Uh, why don't you just start your essay today?
I don't have anything to write about.
Well, write about when we went to Tehran.
What about that woman you saved from drowning?
-No, that was Arwin. -That was Arwin?
-That was me. -Arwin.
Yeah, we don't all look the same.
(ALL LAUGHING)
SELDA: Work on your essay.
KHAL: No!
(DOOR CLOSES)
God.
(DOWNTEMPO MUSIC PLAYING)
(SIGHS)
College...
essay...
Kelsa.
(CHUCKLE SOFTLY)
Kelsa, teen...
Pittsburgh, River Point High School.
I see you, Renard.
So, here's the deal.
I've been on hormone blockers for two months
and I haven't felt any changes in my mood or personality.
I'm not more emotional or calmer.
I think more of that will come once I'm on estrogen.
I have to decide whether to take pills or shots.
They say shots are more smooth sailing,
but needles... Ugh.
I've been thinking a lot about dating, like,
whether or not I want to,
because, like, when exactly
am I supposed to disclose that I'm trans?
(DISTORTED) Trans.
Trans.
(SCREAMS)
(LAUGHS)
(CHUCKLES) Like, it's not really a personal thing,
but it's also something
that just wouldn't naturally come up.
And I'm not even worried about harassment
or anything like that.
I'm worried about people only pretending to like me
because they wanna be woke or something.
Like, once I'm off at college, far away,
and no one knows my tea, I could go stealth.
But that would mean nobody would know me.
No one would see me for all that I am.
So, what would you rather,
the existential despair of not being known
or the existential despair
of being known and being rejected?
If I talked like that in the real world,
-they'd put me away. -(CHUCKLES)
And I'm not dying to date anybody either.
Like, my friend Chris is in a relationship,
and to be honest...
MIKE: Mmm! CHRIS: Mmm!
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) Thank you.
I'm your baby bird.
And I'm your daddy bird.
It doesn't seem too appealing.
I mean, why have a boyfriend when I have two best friends?
Honey, get those Skittles.
CHRIS: So...
Sleepover at Kelsa's this weekend. We on?
Um, my mom booked a spa day for us,
and she can't change it.
I feel like you're having a lot of spa days
with Miss Miranda.
CHRIS: Yeah, when we're supposed to hang out.
EM: You know Miranda. I'm trying.
CHRIS AND KELSA: Try harder, bitch.
(CHRIS AND KELSA LAUGH)
I have a theory.
CHRIS: Yeah? What's that?
First Insta story is the person you're thirstiest for.
CHRIS: Okay.
Let's try it out.
Um, okay.
CHRIS: Danny Trejo.
(ALL CHUCKLE)
-That tracks. -What about Mike?
-What about him? -Oh?
(EM AND KELSA LAUGH)
What about you?
Khal.
Khal Zuabi.
-Since when? -For, like, a few months now.
I don't know. I was kind of embarrassed about it,
but he's so sweet.
CHRIS: You should ask him out.
Are you serious?
Yeah. Why not?
KELSA: Uh... (CHUCKLES)
I don't know. I mean, I feel like you could do better.
I don't want to.
-CHRIS: Who do you have? -Uh...
No one. Just a meme account.
Okay.
So, how you gonna do it?
KELSA: Just DM him.
No, that's so obvious.
CHRIS: Yeah.
I think you should write a love note.
EM: That's a good idea.
CHRIS: Yeah. EM: Mmm.
CHRIS: Oh, yeah.
EM: Cute.
(TEARS OFF PAGE)
-Give it to him. -Why me?
-I'm shy. -So am I.
I never ask you to do anything.
-I'll do it. -Stop.
You want me to do it, I'll do it.
Yo, bro. Last night I joined Parler.
Why would you do that?
Because there's some gnarly shit on there.
-No, it's... it's... -Have you ever been on there?
No, I'm not a sociopath.
Hi, Khal.
What's it say?
Nothing.
This from Kelsa?
-Hi, Khal. -Oh, Chris.
(IN FLIRTY TONE) Hi, Khal.
Wait. Wait, are you hitting that? (SCOFFS)
-No. -Nice, dude!
Give me that.
(SIGHS)
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
(MUSIC PLAYING FAINTLY)
KELSA: (SIGHS) Okay...
(PHONE KEYPAD CLACKING)
Mmm.
Oh.
Mmm. Mmm-mmm.
Mmm...
(POP SONG PLAYING)
Oh!
(POP SONG CONTINUES)
So, uh, are you gonna go to art school?
What?
You're, like, really good.
Oh. Um...
I don't know. I feel like
I'm not interesting enough to be an artist.
Yeah.
(SMACKS LIPS) You're right.
-Wow. Ouch. -(CHUCKLES)
No, I just meant, like, artists are douchebags.
But you're nice.
(GAGS) I hate when people call me nice.
(CHUCKLES) I know.
You know what I hate?
What?
When people say I'm brave.
Really?
"You're transitioning so young.
"Oh, my God, like, do you get bullied?
"I just wanna tell you how brave you are."
Yeah, I mean, it's not technically that brave
if you're just, you know, being who you are.
Exactly. And it's so self-congratulatory.
Yeah.
(SIGHS)
So, what do you wanna study?
Zoology.
Dope. Then what?
I wanna be a nature cinematographer.
Wow! Dope.
Like Planet Earth kinda thing?
-Yeah. -(BOTH LAUGH)
(IN BRITISH ACCENT) Antarctica.
BOY: We can make it. Come here, baby, come here.
-Yo. -The high school.
The human male woos the female.
(KELSA LAUGHING)
But with a ruthlessness only found in nature,
the female...
BOY: Check this out!
KHAL: ...pretends to text.
Ignoring his sexual advances.
(KELSA AND KHAL LAUGH)
(GIRL GIGGLES)
So what? You're gonna, like, travel to desert islands,
tread your gear through mud and stuff?
Stay in a tree for days, waiting for the perfect shot.
Yeah. I wanna see everything.
Every place.
Every animal.
Why do you like animals so much?
Because they're all unique,
and named after what makes them unique.
KHAL: Ladies and gentlemen of Reddit,
I find myself in a little bit of a bind.
MS. KIDD: Beep, beep.
I'm coming through. I'm coming through.
Ooh. Oh. I'm sorry.
KHAL: I, 17, male, am developing a huge crush
on this girl, 17, female.
It's like a pull-your-hair-out,
scream-it-out-the-window-
for-the-whole-world-to-hear kinda deal.
(UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING)
Oh, no. I'm stupid. I'm stu...
I'm stupid.
How do you know when you officially have a crush?
Is it when you start looking for them
in every group of people?
Or is it when you're looking at a astrology meme
and you check for their sign too?
MS. KIDD: The Thundershower by H. Lyman Sayen.
This is the perfect example of European modernism with...
Yo, how is that a thundershower?
Wait.
Aren't they...?
BOTH: They're in the shower.
-Yes. -BOYS: Yo! (CHEERING)
Okay. I have one.
-Shoot. -Okay.
Sandwich. One bite.
I dare you.
(SOFTLY) Go, go, go.
Go, go, go.
No, she didn't!
Okay, quiet!
KELSA: When exactly does it happen?
(SCOFFS) Whatever. I shouldn't even be entertaining this.
I know Em likes him.
All I know is, it feels like there's a freshwater eel
lodged in my esophagus. (SIGHS)
KHAL: Problem is, she's trans.
And not that that's a problem for me.
I'm just afraid
of the drama I could cause if I ask her out.
I'll probably lose a friend,
and I doubt my parents would understand.
So, what do I do?
(COMPUTER CHIMES)
Just explain your feelings to your friend,
maybe they'll understand.
-(EXPLOSION IN GAME) -No! That is so gay!
That is so gay.
KHAL: Mmm... Not an option.
MAN: Go for it.
Hey, love is weird.
Just make sure you like her for who she really is.
That you don't see her as an adventure
or a challenge for you.
KHAL: She would be an adventure,
but not because she's trans.
Because her brain just works in weird and beautiful ways.
She'd be a challenge because...
Well, because she's just a lot smarter than I'll ever be.
Anyway, babes, right.
No friendship lasts forever.
Your parents are gonna have to be all right
with who you're with, though, innit?
Ask her out. Do it.
Don't think about it. Do it.
WOMAN: This is how I see it.
Are you gonna live your own life right now?
Or are you gonna do what people expect of you,
and spend the rest of your life wondering,
-"What if?" -"What if?"
I think you should give her flowers.
-What? -The girl
-from your Reddit posts. -I'm sorry.
-How did you know it was me? -I use your tablet sometimes.
Look, you should really clear your browser history.
-You little creep. -(CHUCKLES)
Calm down. I'm just tryin' to help you out, all right?
Look, I know it's kinda cheesy, but hear me out.
Girls like flowers, right?
Yeah. I mean, it's not a bad idea.
Okay!
Will you stop looking at my browser history?
-Okay. -Okay.
Oh. Uh, are you still worried you'll get
erectile dysfunction from watching too much porn?
Get out of my room!
SELDA: Hey! ARWIN: Mom!
Khal hit me!
CHRIS: (MISPRONOUNCES) "Mayor Caligiuri..."
Caliguiri.
"Mayor Caliguiri's administration
"is now synonymous with the first Renaissance.
"Cultural and neighborhood development
"expanded Pittsburgh's skyline, and..."
That's a tardy, Mr. Zuabi.
KHAL: Sorry, Mr. Alderdice.
CHRIS: "And it was declared America's most livable city."
Yo, who the flowers for?
-Nobody. -Dude, just tell me.
Hey, hey, hey.
-Chance? Masloff. -Mmm?
-Oh... -Now!
Uh, "Sophie Masloff was the first woman to hold"
-"the post of Mayor..." -(KHAL SIGHS)
Yo, who are the flowers for?
If I hear another word out of turn, it will be your last.
-Continue. -"...of Pittsburgh.
"Her administration also was the first
"to suggest stadiums be built for the city's sports teams,
"although her vision would not be implemented
"until years later."
-Dude. -Who are they for?
-Em! They're for Em. -(CHUCKLES)
TEACHER: Kelsa. Murphy.
KELSA: "Mayor Tom Murphy's leadership led
"to a building boom dubbed as Renaissance 3,
"which reappropriated industrial land,
"transforming the eco... the economic base...
"from steel to medicine, finance, and technology."
(CHRIS CLEARING THROAT)
-(PHONE VIBRATING) -(CHRIS CLEARING THROAT)
-(TEACHER CLEARS THROAT) -Uh... (CHUCKLES)
Um...
"This shift would be the catalyst
"for the city's resilience
"during the 2008 recession, and its..."
Uh...
(STUTTERS) "...selection for, um...
"for, uh, O... for...
"for O... Obama's G20 summit, which posed the question..."
Everybody.
STUDENTS: "How did Pittsburgh do it?"
Great.
Hi.
Hi, Em. H... How's it going?
Actually, I've been feeling kind of sad, you know.
Seasonal affective disorder.
It... It's October, and it's warm outside.
I don't know, I could use a little whiff of spring.
See ya.
See... See ya.
EM: Hey, Otis. OTIS: Hey, Em.
Yes, sir! That's my boy!
(TYPING)
(ON PHONE) Go for Arwin.
Okay, so I may have messed things up big time.
-She didn't like the flowers? -I don't know, man.
Word got around that they're for Em Vaughn.
So?
So, both of them probably know by now,
and if I give Kelsa the flowers,
all girly hell's gonna break loose.
(SIGHS)
I'm just gonna give them to Em.
Jeez. Can you believe this guy?
-I know. -Yeah, what a loser.
This is classic Khalid.
You're so concerned about pleasing everyone
that you forget to look out for numero uno.
I don't wanna hurt anyone.
Uh, news flash, bro.
In this life, you're gonna hurt people.
And if you try to please everyone,
you're just gonna end up
hurting the ones that matter most.
-Do you like Em? -No.
-Do you like Kelsa? -Yeah.
Then don't be a perpetually passive pussy,
and give her the flowers!
Yeah, don't be a pussy, Khalid.
Don't be a pussy.
Hey. Arwin, give me your phone.
I'm using my calculator.
This is Language Arts.
(SCOFFS) Why is your generation
so resistant to technology?
I'm 25, Arwin.
EM: Oh, my gosh. Did you see him?
He's so nervous. It's adorable.
There's this cute little spot. So romantic.
I think dinner and a movie...
Oh, that's kind of expensive...
(KHAL SIGHS)
Uh, these are for... for you.
(SCOFFS)
-Oh, shit. -(SIGHS)
(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING)
(GIRL MURMURS)
(SCOFFS)
(SIGHS)
(PHONE VIBRATES)
GIRL: Someone's crying in the bathroom.
-Oh, my God. Who? -Em Vaughn.
(SIGHS)
Oh, my God.
Bro, you gave the flowers to Kelsa?
-She's a dude, you know. -I have to go, dude.
(SCOFFS)
(AVANT-POP SONG PLAYING)
(STUDENTS CHATTERING)
(AVANT-POP SONG CONTINUES)
Hi.
So, uh, did you like the flowers?
Ow. Ow!
What the hell, Khal?
-What? -(SIGHS)
You really did that in front of Em?
If you're trying to prove you're not nice,
congratulations.
I'm not trying to prove anything.
Khal, Em likes you.
Yeah, well, I like... like you.
She was right there!
Well, then, all right, if you don't like me,
just tell me. I still wanna be your friend.
If you don't wanna be friends, we can, you know...
I didn't say that.
So, you just wanna be friends?
I didn't say that either.
(SIGHS)
They're wildflowers, by the way.
Yeah, I noticed.
Yeah, 'cause, you know,
didn't wanna get you something typical, you know?
(CHUCKLES) I like you.
You do?
But you've really made a mess.
Okay, yeah. I'm sorry.
You know what?
What?
Let's just go in there.
Together.
I mean, come on, you're gonna lose your friend.
I'm for sure gonna lose my friends.
So, what do you wanna remember from high school?
We could live our own life, right now,
or do what people expect of us
and (SIGHS) spend the rest of our life wondering,
"What if?"
(KELSA CHUCKLES)
Yes!
(CHUCKLES)
(UPLIFTING MUSIC PLAYING)
(STUDENTS CHATTERING)
-BOY: Come on. Come on! -(GIRL GIGGLING)
(IN BRITISH ACCENT) In a daring move,
the human mates publicly display their affection.
Will their colony accept them?
(DRAMATICALLY) Or will there be carnage?
-(YELLS) -Doing the most.
Uh, this is me.
Okay. Um...
I will, uh... (CHUCKLES)
-Bye. -Bye.
Yo, dude, what's happening? (CHUCKLES)
-(SIGHS) -Are you gay?
-No. -Because you can tell me
-if you're gay. -I would.
-I'd accept you. -Really?
But I can't if you're in denial...
Okay. Whatever, Otis.
(SCOFFS)
(PHONE KEYS CLACKING)
(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)
(BALLAD PLAYS ON PHONE)
-30 seconds. -30 seconds?
GIRL: For real, it was 30 seconds.
(EM SIGHS LOUDLY)
(SCOFFS) Mmm, all right.
So, I feel like it's normal to be, like, upset.
But I can't believe that she would actually
-be like flip-flop. -I know.
I mean that's just... Are you kidding me?
KELSA: I mean, can you blame her?
-CHRIS: Yes. I can. -(CLEARS THROAT) Hey.
-(CHUCKLES) -Hello.
So, you've officially set the school on fire.
(CHUCKLES DRYLY)
(SUCKS TEETH) Great.
Bye, lovebirds.
(LAUGHS)
So, how's it going?
Um...
It's going.
Yeah? Uh...
-So, I was thinking maybe... -Maybe we should...
Sorry. You go.
(CHUCKLES)
No, it's okay.
No, really.
I want you to go first.
KELSA: Maybe we should go on a date.
KHAL: I was thinking we should go on a date.
(BOTH LAUGH)
So... yeah.
So...
-yeah. -(KELSA LAUGHS)
(ELECTROPOP SONG PLAYING)
(PHONE KEYPAD CLACKING)
(INHALES DEEPLY)
(HOLDS BREATH)
(STIFLES LAUGH)
(BOTH EXHALE HEAVILY)
(ELECTROPOP SONG CONTINUES)
KHAL: So, this is the Phipps.
KELSA: Well, evolution's crazy.
I mean, we think we're genetically superior to, like,
sea cucumbers but we're not.
We just evolved to successfully procreate
in different environments.
Um, no. Humans are superior
because we're, you know,
genetically modified by reptilian aliens.
Uh... Oh!
Okay, so you got some conspiracy theories.
-Mmm-hmm. -Uh-huh.
Well, did you know
that the government made selfies popular
to build a facial recognition software?
KHAL: Oh, yes.
I was convinced my parents were New World Order spies.
So, naturally, I just put glass in their soup.
-You did not. -I did. If they were lizards,
they would have eaten it. No problem.
(KELSA LAUGHS)
I didn't know you were so weird.
It's so nice in here. Wow.
KHAL: Very flowery.
So, how are things with Em?
(LAUGHS) Not good.
Uh, I actually broke out in hives
just from feeling so guilty.
Well, at least Chris took your side.
Yeah. Yeah. Um...
You know, Em told her to never talk to me again
and Chris was like, "That's stupid."
Wow. Yeah, totally.
Yeah, yeah.
Uh, what about you and Otis?
Uh... Things are weird.
KELSA: Mmm.
KHAL: And I've been realizing, like,
he would always say these, just, like, messed up things
and I just, I wouldn't say anything.
Like, why? Why didn't I say anything?
'Cause we were "Khal and Oates."
That's not even my name, you know?
(CHUCKLES) Wait.
It's not?
What's your full name?
Khalid.
(KELSA CHUCKLES)
Uh...
Why did you shorten it?
Because people can't pronounce the "Kh" sound.
They say it like "Khal-eed."
(CHUCKLES) Khalid? Like, you're
-young, dumb and broke? -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, okay. I get that a lot.
And no disrespect to Khalid,
but it is a completely different name.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
Sounds like a hard life.
It is!
And then meanwhile, my brother gets the freaking Anglo name.
What's his name?
Arwin.
-Arwin? -Mmm-hmm.
Sounds like a serial killer name.
It does. Honestly, yes, I would not be surprised.
Oh, well... (CHUCKLES)
Okay, well, I'm gonna call you Khalid.
Did I say that right?
Eh...
-No? -No.
Khalid?
Close enough.
Say it with me. Khalid?
Khalid.
Okay, I'll get it right later.
Yeah, hopefully.
Point is,
I'm gonna get it right,
because names are what makes us unique,
right?
I thought it was only animals.
No.
To people too.
Wow.
By the way, I like what your name means.
(CHUCKLES) How'd you know that?
There's this very cool new website.
It's called, um, Goggle?
KELSA: Oh, okay. KHAL: Yeah.
KELSA: Gotta check that out. KHAL: Yeah.
(KELSA CHUCKLES)
KELSA: So, did you find anything else?
Yeah. Um...
Your videos.
Were they supposed to be secret or something?
No, no. Um...
Well, from my mom.
But if one person finds my videos
and comes to understand themselves better,
that's awesome.
But no one at school has seen them.
No, 'cause that's, like, my trans stuff.
It's different in real life.
So, like, um,
you don't want people in real life to talk about you
and say, "Oh, my trans friend this,
"my trans friend that."
Or is that not it at all?
No, that's...
that's exactly it.
And in my videos, I can just say what I'm thinking
without people trying to protect me or something.
In real life, I just wanna be Kelsa.
Well, you're Kelsa to me.
(CHUCKLES)
MAN: So, I've been thinking, I wanna get away.
I wanna go on a trip...
Wow. Hi. How are you, people?
Come on.
(SIGHS) Okay...
(R&B SONG PLAYING)
KELSA: Come on. (CHUCKLES)
Oh, my gosh.
(BIRD CHIRRING)
(KELSA LAUGHS)
(PARROTS SQUEAKING)
KHAL: Oh, God!
I'm literally doing this for you. That's it.
KELSA: This was your idea, first of all.
-KHAL: Oh, my gosh. -(LAUGHS)
You have three birds.
(KELSA CHUCKLES)
(BIRD CHATTERS)
Thank you for taking me.
Of course. (CHUCKLES)
KELSA: (SIGHS) I don't wanna go home.
I have to go work on my college essay.
KHAL: Same. I have no idea what I'm gonna write it on.
I'm sure that's not true.
Okay, well, then, maybe I don't want to.
Like, go to college
or take the whole classic route anyway.
Then don't.
What do you wanna do? Art school?
No, not necessarily art school.
Okay, then tell me.
-Okay! -(LAUGHS)
Maybe, like, study a trade.
Okay.
So, there's this thing...
Um, it's called Computer-Aided Drafting.
-Mmm-hmm. -Where you, like,
design things for real life. Okay?
So, like, look around.
Every nut and bolt and bench
and I don't know, handrail, like, someone thought about it
-and created it. -Yeah.
So it's like, why create paintings
and sculptures when you can just create life?
Is that super random?
I don't think so.
I mean, your life doesn't have to look like anybody else's.
It's your you.
-It's my me? -(LAUGHS)
Yeah, it's your you.
(CHUCKLES) Okay.
I mean, take it from me.
Oh, wow. Holding hands, round two.
I mean, since you won't start it, I'mma do it.
-I'm a dignified coward. -Okay? (LAUGHS)
(DOWNTEMPO MUSIC PLAYING)
Okay.
Um, this is my house.
Yeah. Um...
Bye.
-Bye. -(BOTH CHUCKLE)
(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)
(LAUGHS) Why are we so awkward?
Uh, I don't know.
Okay.
All right. Well, see ya.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
Um, wait.
You wanna make out?
Um...
-Yes, yes, I do. -(LAUGHING)
(LIGHT MUSIC PLAYING)
(KELSA LAUGHS)
-(KELSA LAUGHS) -(KHAL GRUNTING)
-Okay. -Oh, shit.
-You okay? -(LAUGHING) Yeah, I'm fine.
Oh, my God. Um...
Okay. So embarrassing.
KHAL: (SOFTLY) Wow.
Okay.
Um, I should probably actually go this time.
Yeah, you probably... probably should.
-All right. Bye. -(BOTH CHUCKLE)
Bye.
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
SELENE: (MOUTH-FULL) Mmm. Yum.
-I outdid myself. -(KELSA CHUCKLES)
I didn't hear from you all day.
What's going on with you?
Sorry, sorry. I, um...
I went on a date.
-With a boy. -What?
So, um...
I think I have...
a girlfriend.
Pesaram , that's very nice.
You went on a date?
Why didn't you tell me?
Because you were gonna make it weird
like you are now.
Well... (YELPS)
What's her name?
Kelsa.
Good.
SELDA: You know her, Arwin?
Uh, yeah.
She's a...
a pretty cool girl.
(OTHERS CHUCKLE)
-SELDA: That's nice, maman. -Yeah.
What's his name? Did you talk about...
-Oh. Law of averages, okay? -Okay.
-(LAUGHS)
Can you tell me anything?
Anything.
(BOTH LAUGH)
Oh, my God. Lord, help me.
-That tells me everything. -(LAUGHING)
In other news, I'm thinking about staying in Pittsburgh
-for college. -Okay. Carnegie Mellon?
Uh, yeah, no. More like Pittsburgh Technical College.
-(CUTLERY CLINKS) -(SELDA CLEARS THROAT)
Look, y'all, it's a 2-year program.
I... I can stay home.
I can forego student loans...
That's your dream? Come on.
SELDA: Khalid, I know you think you're being smart,
but you really need to go to a 4-year college.
You need that degree, baby.
I don't need to go to a 4-year university.
And look, if I need to, I will transfer.
-(SASAN CLEARS THROAT) -You know, go when I'm 35.
-Oh. -(SASAN CLEARS THROAT)
It's my me.
It's your what?
(UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING)
(YELPS)
Okay. Oh, God.
-How was the date? Huh? -Okay.
Chris, this is the girls'...
-Did you try anything funny? -Yes.
I made her laugh.
Oh! You got jokes, huh?
Oh, my God.
Listen here...
guy.
You might think you're a very special boy,
but you're not.
There are a lot of men who are attracted to trans women,
but when it gets down to it,
they're not down to get to it.
Yeah, well, it's not like that, okay?
Your friend is dope,
and that is all there is to it.
Okay.
I didn't peg you for the type.
Yeah, 'cause I'm not.
But prove me wrong
and I'll skin your face and wear it like a mask.
Do you think I'm scary?
Yeah, yeah. Yes, I do. Yeah.
So, I know I said I didn't want a boyfriend, but...
Okay, wait. I said I don't need a boyfriend,
and I don't.
But there's something I realized recently
that's literally so obvious.
Not everything is about gender.
Cis people don't talk about gender all the time.
They literally just take for granted
that they are who they are.
So why should I?
Why do I have to talk about gender all the time?
Like, literally, let's talk about dating.
Sure, there's some gender involved,
but it's really just two people.
Like, I was so worried
about someone not wanting to be with me because I'm trans
or only wanting to be with me because I'm trans.
And you know, I started dating someone recently,
and it's not even about all that.
This guy's fire.
He just gets me.
I don't have to be strong around him.
I don't have to be brave.
I can just... be.
It feels good to get this off my chest.
I can't really talk about this with my best friend.
Between you and me,
she's going through some major boy issues.
-No! -CHRIS: This heart! This heart
-breaks back, bitch! -(GUN CLICKING)
KELSA: Mike dumped Chris out of nowhere.
It was brutal.
But, you know, she's coping.
Trans, cis or whatever.
None of us are safe from love.
Is that hideously cheesy?
I don't care.
KHAL: Hey, Reddit.
I noticed you've been asking for an update, so here it is.
As predicted, there was,
you know, a little bit of drama.
(KHAL SIGHS)
(KHAL CLEARS THROAT)
My best friend,
let's call him "Oates,"
is giving me the cold shoulder.
I guess he's still mad that I don't buy
into his messed-up way of seeing the world.
(PHONE CHIMES)
(PHONE KEYPAD CLACKING)
I guess part of growing up
is having to leave some friends behind.
Despite all that, I am proudly dating a trans girl.
I stand by my decision,
and I've kinda never been happier.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
(KEYBOARD CLACKS)
(MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
Honestly, Mike can do so much better.
GIRL: I heard they were getting back together.
You know why they broke up, right?
No, why?
She was poking holes in their condoms.
GIRL: Shut up! EM: Uh-huh. (LAUGHING)
GIRL: Oh, girl. No.
Okay, you know that's not true.
Can you stop stalking us?
Can you stop with the rumors about Chris?
Is it really a rumor if it's true?
KELSA: It's not true.
Oh, well, you should know. You're her friend.
Oh, I forgot. You don't give a shit about your friends.
-Apparently, you don't either. -Oh, okay.
-Get off me. -EM: Ow! (YELPS)
-KELSA: Oh, my God, Em! -What's your problem?
-I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Em! -EM: Get away from me!
KELSA: What... I'm sorry!
Em, I'm sorry.
What? Em.
-Em! -Okay...
Em, I'm sorry!
Em!
-Em! -Shut up!
You broke my finger!
(SIGHS)
Ow.
Do you have any painkillers?
They gotta be strong.
Something that'll really zonk me out.
This is a high school.
We have chamomile tea.
Ugh, fine.
(DOORBELL DINGS)
SELENE: Kelsa!
Company's here.
Hi.
-Um, I'm Khalid. -SELENE: I know.
Khal or Khal.
Come on in.
KHAL: Hi.
SELENE: Hi.
Take your coat off. Stay a while.
Kelsa will be down shortly,
and I'm just getting through this
so I can get to the hospital.
Uh, is everything okay?
Oh, everything's fine. I just have to go check on a patient.
-I'm on call. -Ah.
You could just put your coat down on a chair or something.
-Cool. -Don't worry about that.
(CHUCKLES) Can I help you with this?
Well, sure.
Thank you.
Yeah.
I'm really just hanging out here
'cause I was trying to give you the whole
"Don't hurt my daughter" speech,
but you seem so nice.
Thank you. That is very kind of you.
You know where you're going to college?
No. I'm just kinda, you know,
blindly throwing darts everywhere.
Hmm. Well, Kelsa is going to
-a more heterogeneous city... -Someone say my name?
(LAUGHS) Guess I did.
-(KELSA LAUGHS) -Look at those jeans.
But I keep telling her there's no place safer
than right here at home with me.
KELSA: Mom, law of averages. SELENE: Fine, fair enough.
Wait, what is that?
It's just this rule we have
where I'm not allowed to ask her anything
that the average mom won't ask the average girl.
-KELSA: Mmm-hmm. -(PHONE CHIMES)
SELENE: I really gotta go.
It's so nice to meet you, Khal-eed.
-Yeah. -It's Khalid.
-What is it? -KELSA: Khalid.
-Khalid? -Mmm-hmm.
You're both failing, but that's okay.
-(SELENE LAUGHS) -KELSA: You know what? Okay.
Okay, I'm out.
Which might make you feel
like you're home alone, unsupervised.
But you're not.
Because I have cameras.
Everywhere.
Strategically placed.
Behind you.
In front of you.
Always
watching you.
So you're never really unsupervised.
Bye.
Bye. (LAUGHS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
(SIGHS) Anyway.
Okay. Does... Does she actually have cameras?
No!
(SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
-CHRIS: Yo, bitch. -(KNOCKING)
Why aren't you answering my texts?
-Hello! -Oh, my God.
-Okay! -Go away!
I'm sorry! Did I interrupt something?
Go!
I just saw your mom on the street,
so you're getting nasty already?
Get out!
-I see you. -KELSA: Go to the car!
-CHRIS: Okay, okay, okay. -Oh, my God.
(SIGHS)
(KHAL SNICKERING)
That is so awkward.
(SNICKERS)
(BOTH SIGH)
Sorry, she's...
she's a lot. Um...
(NERVOUSLY) Did you like that?
What?
Um...
Was everything okay?
Oh... Yeah. (CHUCKLES) Yeah.
Yeah, that wasn't anything that I didn't like.
Well, then...
what do you like?
Um...
I don't know yet.
Is that okay?
Look, I'm attracted to all of you.
You're beautiful.
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
(CHUCKLES LIGHTLY)
Okay, so, question.
In 100 years,
when our granddaughters are getting engaged to hot robots,
will you be pro-robot-human marriage
or will you be against this beautiful, beautiful union?
I'll be pro-robot marriage
because they don't smell like boys do.
Wow, ouch, that's a hurtful thing to say.
-What about you, Chris? -I mean, okay. Um...
You know...
Against robot marriage.
Against human marriage.
I'd outlaw love in general.
-Just don't do it. Just don't. -KHAL: Oh.
KELSA: Um... Chris, uh...
CHRIS: Hmm?
You good?
Tsk.
Yeah.
-Yeah. -Yeah?
It's my Mike Chaplesky exposure therapy.
It's all part of the process to get over him.
Why did you guys break up?
'Cause I'm an untouchable goddess
and he's a little shit dick.
Let's go!
(DANCE-POP SONG PLAYING ON SPEAKERS)
(CHEERING AND LAUGHTER)
(LAUGHING) Ah...
Okay.
(KHAL LAUGHS)
Come on. (LAUGHS)
-(CROWD CHEERS) -EM: Whoa!
Fingers!
-(LAUGHS) -KELSA: You know what?
We're doing this right now.
-What? -KELSA: Come here.
Okay.
What else do you want from me?
I've been trying to apologize, but I get it.
I was never supposed to like anybody.
You were allowed to like whoever you wanted.
You chose to like the guy I told you I liked.
You don't get to choose who you like.
I definitely don't get to choose who likes me back.
You should have chosen me.
Well, I didn't.
One time I put myself first.
And what? I gotta pay for that for the rest of my life?
One time?
I've always had your back.
You don't even know what I've had to give up for you.
But I never asked you to give up anything.
We're supposed to be friends.
Yeah. You think...
What?
You think it's easy being your friend?
Or boyfriend, for that matter?
Knowing Khal, he's only dating you for the woke points.
KHAL: Kelsa!
(DANCE-POP SONG CONTINUES)
(BREATHES HEAVILY)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
-KHAL: You okay? -(SIGHS)
I'm fine.
(KHAL SIGHS)
Hello?
-Anything I can do? -(SIGHS)
Forget it. It's...
It's trans stuff.
Yeah, well, I can handle the trans stuff.
(CROWD CHATTERING)
Hey, quit flipping me off. (CHUCKLES)
Why do you care?
I... Because, um,
I'm your boyfriend, and you're trans.
What does me being trans
have to do with you being my boyfriend?
Uh...
I don't need you to save me, okay?
-Um, are you okay? -I'm fine.
It's Kelsa Renard who's got mental problems.
Oh, yeah, I heard she stole your man.
She didn't steal my anything.
She's just a conniving bitch.
Oh, no, no. I get it.
I mean, she stole my best friend. (SCOFFS)
(SIGHS)
You wanna get back at her?
I mean, listen, I'm pretty liberal and everything,
but it sounds to me like you were assaulted
in a space meant for women only.
(DANCE-POP SONG CONTINUES)
It's our space. A women's space.
And she brought her socialized male energy into it.
And I'm okay with her lifestyle, I really am,
but it stops being okay
when she enters our space to assault us.
Remember when I said
not everything is about gender?
Apparently, it is for me.
I got banned
from the women's locker room and bathroom.
They're making me go to this dingy, gender-neutral bathroom
that no one's cleaned since the '90s.
Because when people look at me,
all they see is gender.
It makes me never wanna step out of this room again.
At least soon, I'll be moving far, far away
where no one knows anything about me, or who I am.
If you wanna help, here's how.
Don't.
Anyway, surviving high school.
Here's a tip.
Don't be trans.
(PHONE CHIMING)
ARWIN: Hey, Khal.
-Fratello! -What are you doing? What?
I just wanted to congratulate you, man.
Your girl went viral, dude.
What?
KELSA: (ON VIDEO) Remember when I said not everything
-is about gender? -Holy crap!
SELENE: Kelsa, get up!
-Get up. -What?
What is this?
(ON VIDEO) When people look at me, all they see is gender.
It makes me never wanna step out of this room again.
SELENE: I'm waiting.
But, Mom, I didn't do this.
-You didn't film this video? -I did.
But this was meant to be personal.
Take it down, now.
I can't. Even if I do,
Get This has posted it already.
It went viral. It has 50,000 views.
How long have you been making these videos, Kelsa?
-But Mom, law of averages. -Answer the question!
How long have you been making these videos?
Since I started hormone blockers.
How many followers do you have?
You mean how many subscribers do I have?
How many people have been tuning in
to watch your personal life?
Like, uh,
200?
Take the channel down now.
And you're not making any more videos.
What? But yes, I am. You can't do that.
Oh, yes, I can.
What you do with your body is your business.
Yeah, it's my business,
and were you not trying to get me to do
the same thing for the college application?
What are you talking about? That's different.
That's totally different.
Why? Because it's on my terms and not yours?
Oh, the World Wide Web
-is on your terms now, Kelsa? -Yeah.
-Delete the video. -No!
SELENE: I will not have it. KELSA: Oh, my God!
It makes me feel good. Why can't you understand that?
How does it possibly make you feel good?
Because I get to connect with people like me.
And whatever psycho wants to look at you.
-They're not psychos! -I am not gonna have that!
They're not psychos!
SELENE: I'm not having a conversation with you.
What are you doing?
Do you know what a psycho looks like?
-KELSA: Do you? Do you know? -What do you know?
When you figure it out, you can have a computer back.
-This is not a question. -Wait. Wait.
SELENE: All it takes is one, Kelsa.
KELSA: Where are you going with my computer?
SELENE: One psycho to have access to you.
What? What are you doing?
You think this world is safe because I've created a safe
and accepting environment here.
KELSA: Safe? What's so safe? This is not safe!
You keep me in a cage.
I'm just trying to protect you!
Protect me? I don't need you to protect me.
Not you. Not Khal.
You know what? That's you. That's your shit.
Say "shit" to me one more time in this house.
Say "shit" to me one more time in my house.
The only reason why you're trying to control me
is because Dad left
and now you wanna overcompensate
because there's no father figure in the house.
I don't need him. I got this!
I need you.
I need you to help me protect you.
Or I can't do it.
So take it down! Or you ain't going to nobody's college.
-What? -Did you hear what I said?
(SCREAMS)
(SIGHS)
(SAD POP SONG PLAYING)
Walking outside with no shoes on.
That's what you got me doing!
(SNIFFLES)
(PHONE CHIMING)
(IN UNISON) Hey, Khal!
Should we try it?
Yeah.
GIRL: Okay...
I don't know how to aim.
Bro, all I'm trying to say is, there's really no reason
to separate sports into guys and girls.
Why don't they do it according to weight, or simply skill?
It's pure misogyny, bro.
Guys don't even want to have the option of losing to women.
Hey, that's facts, my guy.
CHRIS: (ON MEGAPHONE) We stand with Kelsa!
STUDENTS: We stand with Kelsa!
CHRIS: With Kelsa, we stand!
STUDENTS: With Kelsa, we stand!
CHRIS: We stand with Kelsa!
STUDENTS: We stand with Kelsa!
CHRIS: With Kelsa, we stand!
STUDENTS: With Kelsa, we stand!
We stand with Kelsa!
Do not use the bathroom
that aligns with your gender identity!
(STUDENTS CONTINUE CHANTING)
CHRIS: Yo! Hey. Wait up.
What the actual hell?
What? You think I'm gonna sit around
in the face of injustice against my best friend?
Don't act like you're not doing this
just to be the center of attention, like you always do.
Wow. You're really coming for me right now?
I'm doing this for you.
-I didn't ask you to. -You didn't have to!
I'm your best friend.
You should have known better.
KHAL: Kelsa!
(STUDENTS CONTINUE CHANTING)
Kelsa!
KELSA: Move, please!
KHAL: Excuse me.
Would you slow down?
Look, would you just talk to me?
What do you want from me?
Everyone is helping you!
I literally just wanna live my life.
-LIBRARIAN: Shh! -You said you wanted
to make a difference with those videos.
KELSA: So you did post it. That's not your call.
-You said only one person... -Silence in the lab, please.
-Khal, stop. -Look. Okay, please, tell me.
I don't need you to save me, okay?
Have you not been paying attention?
Well, you don't talk to me!
Look, I just wanted to help you.
Excuse me!
That's all I wanted. I lost my friends for you.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I never asked for that.
I never asked for the flowers.
Do you want a "Thank you"?
What do you want?
Just back up.
Kelsa!
That's the thing about being nice.
You think you're so special
going around helping everybody,
but really you just wanna show off
how morally superior you think you are.
Go back to Otis.
You two deserve each other.
(STUDENTS EXCLAIMING)
KHAL: Kelsa!
STUDENTS: We stand with Kelsa! With Kelsa, we stand!
Okay, okay. Okay. Protest over!
Traditional gender rules reinstated.
KHAL: Kelsa! Kelsa, what is happening?
Jesus!
OTIS: What's wrong, Khal?
You don't want to suck him off?
What did you just say?
-What did you call her? -Him.
-Remember? It's a "him." -She's "her."
-And he has a mental disorder. -No, she does not.
And you know what? I think you do too.
Yeah, yeah. I think you have a mental disorder.
No! You do, you illiterate...
STUDENTS: Ooh!
(SCOFFS)
KHAL: Okay.
OTIS: (GRUNTING) Ow! Ow!
-Hair! Let go! -Hair! Hair!
My hair. That hurts! That hurts!
OTIS: Yeah, what...
-This sucks! -KHAL: You've got my hair!
-STUDENTS: Oh! -Enough!
That's enough!
Stop! Break it up!
(PANTING)
What is going on?
Otis?
Khal?
(STUDENTS MURMURING)
KHAL: Move!
(DOOR CLOSES)
(SASAN CLEARS THROAT)
What? What's going on?
Otis's mother called saying you two fought.
He came home with a black eye.
I knew there was something off about you,
so we searched your Internet history.
-Why would you do that? -SELDA: Hormones,
laser hair removal...
-Oh, my God! -...sex change surgeries?
You are gonna live such an unhappy life.
I'm not gonna live an unhappy life.
I will live a fruitful life.
-Are you transgendered? -No!
My girlfriend is.
SASAN: Huh.
I told you. He's just gay.
Oh, my God.
(SASAN SIGHS)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
Khalid?
(SELDA SIGHS)
Khalid.
What?
Talk to me.
I'm just...
I'm sick of it.
I'm sick of people calling me gay or crazy...
when they're the ones who are just wrong about her.
Stop.
You don't have to explain anything to me.
I understand.
(SIGHS)
You've always been so kind.
I know you don't like to hear that, but you are kind.
That's always been who you are.
And that's why...
you see this girl for who she really is.
Welp, it is too late anyway.
She broke up with me.
Then she has bigger problems.
'Cause she's an idiot.
(KHAL CHUCKLES)
(SELDA LAUGHS)
Oh.
(SELMA SNIFFLES)
(SOMBER POP SONG PLAYING)
-(SCHOOL BELL RINGING) -(STUDENTS SAYING GOODBYES)
Look, I support you.
I accept everybody's self-expression.
But what I cannot tolerate is a bully.
Now, I don't understand why we're rallying for the bully.
Why are we protecting the bully,
and not the bullied?
I don't think that' what's happening here...
Please, let her finish.
Frankly, I'm just a little bit concerned as a feminist.
I don't understand how my daughter
is gonna feel safe in single-sex spaces
if you just open the door
to anyone who wants to come inside?
Oh, my God. You are not a feminist.
Unless you are advocating for a safe space
for everyone's daughter,
you are not a feminist, you are full of shit.
EM'S MOM: Well, you are rude and loud.
And you know what?
I'm not gonna let you make me out to be
some narrow-minded woman right now.
To be clear, my concern is my daughter.
I'm here to protect my daughter.
SELENE: You are a danger to your daughter
with that attitude.
She is not free until all of our daughters are free.
-Free? -I don't know how
-you don't understand that. -Oh, my gosh.
-This is not some sort of... -I don't know what is wrong...
Martin Luther King moment here.
...with my own people...
My child has a broken finger!
...and the inability to understand...
-Your child is a bully. -...that you are not safe
and you are not free until my child is.
EM'S MOM: My child is the one that wasn't safe!
You know what, you're excused. She's excused.
And you will not ban my daughter
from that locker room. It is illegal.
It's not illegal when, unfortunately,
there was actually an assault.
I know optically it's not ideal,
but I can't have them together in an unsupervised space.
-Are you kidding me? -So are we done here?
No, we're not.
EM'S MOM: Yes, we are. Come on. Let's go.
She didn't assault me, okay?
-That's stupid. -EM'S MOM: What? Honey...
(SIGHS) I broke my finger on accident.
I made this up because we were fighting.
-Is this true? -EM'S MOM: Emberlee. Please.
EM: No, please. Can you just stop
-telling me what to think! -You do not have to
defend her. I don't want you to say something
-you're gonna regret. -Mom!
Why don't we call the student mediation team?
Why would we call the student mediation team?
She just admitted that this has been a lie.
-Okay. -Listen, my daughter...
We're sitting here for no reason.
-Like we have nothing... -Shut up! Can I talk?
I... (SIGHS)
I don't think like that.
I don't. I don't think like you.
(SIGHS) Whoever jumped out of me that day...
That's not me. Or at least I don't want it to be.
I'm sorry.
-Goodbye. -EM'S MOM: Bye.
Always good to see you.
All right.
Thanks.
Thanks for everything today,
but you didn't have to.
All I wanna do is be here for you.
I get that,
but I don't want you to feel like you have to protect me
just because Dad refused to.
Kelsa.
The mess between me and your dad,
you can't think that's because of you and being trans.
I mean, yeah, of course it is.
I was such a burden on you both
that your marriage just couldn't take it.
You know our relationship was cracking
long before any of that.
And I was what finally broke it.
Mom, it's fine.
This is just what happens when you're trans.
My relationship couldn't take it either.
Like, it just is what it is.
Kelsa, no. Look at me.
Look at me.
Our relationship fell apart
for a million reasons
that had everything to do with me and him
and nothing to do with you.
Nothing.
You are the one thing we got right!
And what's happening now,
with him not choosing to be in your life,
that is his mistake.
That is his choice, his loss.
But I choose you.
I choose you.
Who you were then. Who you are now.
Law of averages!
Law of averages is a fallacy.
It's not real.
You can say it as many times as you want to,
but you are not average.
You are exceptional.
You are my incredibly exceptional,
beautiful daughter!
And what is unique about you
does not make you hard to love.
For anyone that is worthy of you,
you are the easiest thing to love in the world.
Do you hear me?
Come here.
Oh, girl.
I'm so sorry.
But I'm not sorry about that video, girl.
You can't put that back up.
I...
I took down my channel, so yeah. (CHUCKLES)
(SNIFFLES)
Keep it down.
You have a few months before you leave for college.
Make the most of it.
(SIGHS)
(R&B SONG PLAYING)
(EXHALES HEAVILY)
(PHONE CHIMES)
(R&B SONG CONTINUES)
Hey.
Wow. Are those for me?
Yeah. Yeah.
-Okay. -(BOTH CHUCKLE)
No one's ever got me flowers before.
Yeah, um, someone did it for me once.
It was a lot,
and also it was, like, the best thing ever.
-Listen, I'm sorry about... -KELSA: So, like, I...
-(CHUCKLES) -KHAL: I had this,
-like, big old speech... -You know, we don't have to...
Oh, okay. Um...
(CHUCKLES)
Why are we so awkward? (LAUGHS)
Uh...
-(SIGHS) -(KELSA CHUCKLES)
(LAUGHS)
(R&B SONG CONTINUES)
(IN BRITISH ACCENT) The human male courts the female
through the green abyss in a courting ritual,
hoping to get back together as mates,
and now thanks to this new Planet Earth technology,
we can finally witness this rare phenomenon!
(R&B SONG CONTINUES)
(SIGHS)
KHAL: Hey, Reddit.
I know it's been a few months since you've heard from me
and because you clearly can't seem
to get enough of my personal life,
here is one last update for you all.
KELSA: I can't look. I can't look.
KHAL: You nervous? KELSA: Yes, I'm nervous!
-KHAL: You should be. -Why wouldn't I be nervous?
Hit it. Hit it.
All right. I just did, but okay.
Here it is. I think this is the one.
You said that about the last seven times.
Yeah, well, Jesus. Just trying to spread good energy.
Okay, okay. I can't look. I can't look.
-Okay. -(GROANS)
Oh, man. Um...
What?
(SIGHS) Your mom's gonna be really bummed.
What?
You know, that you got into UCLA.
Oh, my God!
On a partial scholarship!
Oh, my God!
-Yes! -What?
KHAL: My girlfriend got into the college that she wanted
because she's the greatest mind of our generation.
And the future's looking pretty good for me too
because my parents finally came around.
-(SASAN CLEARS THROAT) -Who knew?
What? What's happening?
You're staying home.
(ALL CHEERING)
SASAN: Congrats!
-Oh, my baby! -KHAL: Thank you.
(LAUGHING)
-Congratulations. -KHAL: No, no, no!
-Do not touch me. -Get him, get him, get him!
ALL: River Point High! (CHEERING)
KHAL: Graduation's a strange concept.
You look around seeing faces
you'll probably never see again.
And ones you really hope you will.
Um, what else?
We spent pretty much every day of the summer together.
Well, maybe not.
Yeah, no, every day.
-MS. KIDD: Welcome. -Hey.
MS. KIDD: Entrez vous.
Hurry up. Come on.
KHAL: Thank you.
The place is all ours.
Welcome to the Warhol.
This is The Big C.
You know, my grandmother
and Andy's mother went to the same church.
Grace Jones.
All of this.
This is Marsha P. Johnson, Candy Darling...
Now, I met Candy Darling at the Pittsburgh Playhouse.
Gently, darlings.
(KHAL YELLING)
-Go, go, go. -(KHAL GRUNTING PLAYFULLY)
Easy, easy, easy.
Read the sign on the wall.
(UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING)
KELSA: Well, my mom finally decided
to give me back my computer.
So, I'm here to update you on the latest.
I've always been so focused on how to just survive,
but now I'm actually thinking beyond that.
I can be soft and flawed.
I can make mistakes.
I can let myself go and trust
that people will love me for me.
I'm actually excited about what's to come.
For the first time in my life,
I truly feel anything's possible for me.
KHAL: Our summer together...
was magical.
But we both knew what came next.
Okay, so they're closing in five minutes.
We supposedly came here to talk,
so should we just do it?
Yeah.
Okay.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
Talk mode.
-Talk mode. -Um...
So, summer is ending soon.
I am aware of that, yeah.
Yeah. Uh...
So, what's gonna happen with us?
Well, you wanna do long distance?
(DOWNTEMPO MUSIC PLAYING)
No.
KHAL: Yeah.
KELSA: Right? Like, it would only be
about us meeting up for Thanksgiving,
New Year's,
summer,
until one of us meets someone else
and breaks the other one's heart.
KHAL: Yeah, that sounds very, very complicated.
KELSA: Yeah.
I feel like for the first time in my life,
I can just exist in this world.
And...
I know it's gonna be hard,
but I don't want to just exist.
I need to find out what else I'm capable of.
KHAL: I agree, yeah.
So, um...
Are we broken up then, I guess?
KELSA: I'm gonna miss you so much.
KHAL: Me too.
I'm gonna walk home alone if that's okay?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm just gonna, you know, stick around here.
Okay. Okay.
Kelsa, wait.
(DOWNTEMPO MUSIC CONTINUES)
I love you.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
(BOTH LAUGH)
Okay.
Well, you know since we're breaking up,
I don't wanna feel like I missed anything.
Okay... (CHUCKLES)
I'm trying to think if,
you know, there's something about you that I don't know.
Okay. I know what that is.
Okay?
What's your favorite animal?
Huh.
Believe it or not, I don't know.
(CHUCKLES)
-I'd have to think about it. -(BOTH LAUGH)
Um...
Okay.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
(DOWNTEMPO MUSIC CONTINUES)
KHAL: Kelsa taught me a lot of things.
And while nothing is permanent,
I will always be grateful for what we had.
And with that, I am signing off.
GIRL: Come on, let the master work.
Stop! I'll catch up in a bit.
BOY: See you over there.
(LAPTOP CHIMES)
(COMPUTER CHIMES)
Hello.
Um, don't mind the new background.
I did move into a college dorm,
and a little incident last year
slightly upped my subscriber count,
but don't worry.
I'm still me, giving you the best
in slightly-above-par trans YouTube content.
I was asked this question a while ago
by someone I love.
And I think I finally have the answer.
So, here we go.
(BIRD CALLING)
The marsh harrier is a bird of prey
that makes its home over fields and reed beds.
And it's known for its sharp and precise hunting,
as well as its daring courtship displays.
About two years into their lifespan,
some males will undergo a metamorphosis
which changes the color
of some of their feathers from a foggy gray
to the creamy brown likeness of the female.
So, I like to say my favorite animal
is the marsh harrier
because of its magnificent and unique sky-dancing antics.
But to myself, I can say,
"Look at that beautiful, talented trans girl,
"and look how high she soars."
(UPBEAT SOUL SONG PLAYING)
(UPBEAT SOUL SONG CONTINUES)