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Breakfast!
Charlie, you're gonna be late, mate.
I'm cereal.
I'm pancakes.
Toast with jam, no butter.
Toast and marmalade.
Okay. Toast with, uh, jam, that's there.
-And one cereal. -Dad!
-Buster. Buster, what… What's that? -Lolly.
-We don't have lollies for breakfast. -Why?
Why? Because I have made you some lovely bacon.
Well, I'm vegan now.
Course you are.
Lunch box, lunch box.
No. Guys. No. Sorry.
What've we said? We don't have hamsters at the dinner table, do we? Thank you.
All right, thank you.
We've got about ten minutes left.
I need you to get your coats, your school bags, and let's go.
Quick!
Guys, we're gonna be late!
Charlie, thank you.
Rosie, don't forget your sandwich. That's yours. Buster, come here.
Look, just stay there. Put your arm through there.
Doesn't matter. Go. Here, take your hat.
Buster, come… Where's your shoe?
Buster! It doesn't matter. Go, quick.
It's here! I've got it. I've got the shoe.
-Ah, Mr. Cunningham. -Yes.
-I've got a parcel for you. -Oh, thank you.
-Sorry, I need you to sign. -I don't have a pen.
-I have a pencil. -Ah, no, can't use pencil.
-I've got a crayon. -No, crayon's too waxy. Sorry.
-A felt-tip. -Gotta be black Biro.
-I don't have a black Biro. -I have.
You can use that. You only had to ask. That's it, and we just need the date
of your birth.
-Okay. -Lovely.
Oh, and we got to do a photo for proof of delivery.
Okay, kids. Here we go.
That's it, kids. Nice big smile.
And we're done.
Lovely. Think you're gonna enjoy that. And you, kids.
Haven't read it though, haven't read it.
All right, listen, everyone get in the car. Thank you.
Rosie, will you get the door, please?
Dad, you forgot the costume for the Christmas concert!
I need a cake for the Christmas bake!
You said you would do the reading with me.
Don't your teachers do the reading?
-I feel all wobbly. -Off you go.
-Quick as you can. Love you! Bye! -Love you. Bye!
Ooh, sorry. Morning, children.
-Late again. -Hello. Bye-bye! Okay, thank you.
No!
Not acceptable!
So time is of the essence, people. I need loyalty.
I need people with no distractions. I need commitment.
I need 110% commitment.
-How much commitment do I need? -110% commitment.
Oh, welcome! Thank you for joining us. Do take a seat.
Sorry, it was the school run. You know kids.
Really, was it? I don't care.
I'm running a business, and in business, kids don't count!
Now, where was I?
The Emblem deal needs to be done by the end of the year.
We want our pitch to outpitch every other pitch out there. Woo!
Cunningham. People seem to think you have a certain charm.
Therefore, you will present the final pitch.
Wait, sorry. When exactly do you think that I would be pitching?
I get very busy with the run-up to Christmas with kids and…
24th December.
Twenty… But that's Christmas Eve!
You had better prioritize, then. Your job or Santa coming down the chimney.
Right. Class dismissed.
Cunningham.
I can't stress to you how important this account is for us.
Jobs are on the line.
Your job.
Okay, I know, and I won't let you down. I promise I'll make it work.
Is that a hamster?
Yes. That's my son's lunch box. Buster. Always forgets his sandwiches.
Ham sandwich, hamster sandwich. You know what kids are like.
No, I don't, because in business, kids don't count.
Okay.
Okay. We can do the pitch.
We can do it. We'll make it work. Okay.
Come on, then.
There you go. You'll be safe in there.
-Hey, Matty.
-What's that? -A letter from a lawyer, I think.
Boy! What you done now, bro?
I've been left a… gift or an inheritance.
Who from?
-That's odd. It's from my dad. -Your dad?
No, it's fine. I didn't really know him, to be honest.
"Dear, Mr. Cunningham, I've been instructed by your father
to give you this letter containing the keys to…"
-"Please visit this website." -Visit the website! Come on!
"Mistletoe…"
Is that yours… to keep?
I don't know.
Yo, that looks like it's worth a fortune, you know?
I can't deal with this right now. We've got so much work to do.
Hey. Wait a minute, man.
This is exactly what you need to nail the pitch.
Peace and quiet in the countryside.
Just you and the rolling hills. No distractions.
No more Cruella de Vil Fletcher on your back.
Just you and hamster, and the lovely, friendly countryfolk.
It's a win.
It's a win-win.
Triple win, bro.
You see it, yeah?
Yeah, you see it.
-Are you okay, Daddy? -Yeah, I'm fine.
-Have you brushed your teeth? -Yeah.
-What are you looking at? -It's a farm, silly.
-Where is the farm? -It's in a place called Cobbledon.
Can we go to the farm, Dad?
Are there animals there?
Yeah, like Fleece.
-Please can we go to the farm? -Yeah, please?
-Please! -For Christmas.
We can't go for Christmas.
How will Santa know where to deliver all your presents?
Mum would let us.
The thing is, Mummy isn't here anymore.
But you said Mummy was always with us.
-You said she was always in our hearts. -Yeah, you say that every day.
No, and she is. She is in our hearts.
It's just Mummy can't make the decisions anymore.
That has to be Daddy's job.
Well, hang on, no, 'cause… Oh, wait a minute. She's coming in.
She's coming through, and she's saying that she still is the boss of me,
and we should go to the farm.
Yeah!
But first I have to clear it with the school.
A village school?
Mr. Cunningham, how can we be sure
that they will provide an adequate education?
It can't be any worse than here!
I am seeing quite dysfunctional behavior in all five of your children.
You know, Rosie is…
She's really not herself. She's very quiet.
I could be forgiven for thinking that sometimes she is asleep in my lesson.
Charlie has been kicking boys and girls and writing quite rude things.
I understand that you've been through a difficult situation,
but I fear that they are falling behind in their work.
Well, don't be too hard on yourself about that,
because I know that if you work really hard,
find your mojo, next year, these kids, they're gonna excel.
So thank you. And Merry Christmas!
Wetsuit? Okay. Fine.
Are you absolutely sure about this?
What if you get there and this farm doesn't exist?
-I will turn around and come back. -Just manage your expectations, won't you?
Your dad was full of secrets and surprises. Not all of them good.
-Take care. -I'll call you.
Drive carefully.
-Bye, Mum. -Bye! Have a lovely time!
Bye, Granny!
It's so cool!
Look, Dad, baa-sheep!
No, it's just sheep, Buster.
-Look, Dad, moo-cows! -No, we just say "cows," son.
You just missed the farm sign! It said Mistletoe Farm back there!
-What? Where? -You missed the sign.
Why didn't you tell me? If you told me, I could've--
What are you doing bringing a horse down a narrow road?
It's the countryside.
Vehicles give way to animals in the countryside.
Have you read the signs?
Okay, fine. Is the horse okay?
Yes. No thanks to you.
Oh…
So much for the friendly countryfolk!
I think this is it.
Here we go.
It says Mistletoe Farm right there.
We have arrived.
Whoa! Look at that!
It's so cute!
Whoa!
Is it our farm, Dad?
-I think so. -Look, Dad! More baa-sheep!
-No, it's not baa-sheep. It's just sheep. -Sheep poo!
Well, this is a good start.
Come on.
Whoa!
Okay.
What is that smell?
-I think it's you, Buster. -It's not me!
-Well, someone likes eggs. -I think I know why, Daddy.
-It's so cute. Can we keep it? -No, we can't keep it. Come here.
Listen, don't panic. That's it. We're fine. We'll take it… Oh God! No!
No, be careful! Don't… don't pick it up.
Don't pick… Okay. Well, just be… Okay. Take it outside.
Okay, don't let… Be careful. Don't let it…
-That's really good. -What are these, Dad?
Some, uh, biscuits.
"From Barry the baker." Who's Barry the baker?
-I don't know. -I don't know.
I want this room!
I want it! I love it!
Let's go!
-Whoa, this room is awesome! -I want this bed.
Where'd they go?
Guys, we can sort bedrooms later. First things first, let's find a kettle.
You have got to be kidding me!
-Oh! Hello!
Hello, Mr.… Mr. Goat.
Kids, careful. Come round there.
Hello. What… Right.
Okay, straight out there. Off you go. That's it. Go on.
Out the door!
The goat has gone.
Rosie, would you look after everybody, and I will be back in a moment?
Water. Water.
-Oh.
Hang on!
Hang… Hello?
-Hey! How goes it, farmer? -How goes it?
Not great, to be honest, Mo. I'm sat in a stream,
trying to get water for a cup of tea.
Yeah. Boo-hoo and all of that, yeah.
Matty, I've got some news, right?
Banda House are pitching
for the Emblem account also.
Banda House? Everything they pitch for, they end up winning!
That's why we really need you to nail this, Matty.
For all of our sakes. None of us wanna lose our jobs before Christmas.
-We're really relying on you, bro. -What's that, Mo?
Yeah. Hello?
Mo, I can't hear you.
Yo, he's smashing it, you know?
I'm not worried at all!
Okay, guys, let's take these upstairs.
Be careful. We don't wanna set fire to the farmhouse tonight.
Maybe tomorrow if there's insurance.
Are we really gonna spend Christmas on the farm, Dad?
-I like the moo-cows. -Yeah, I like the moo-cows too.
Although we just call them…
cows.
You looking for Mum?
Do you think she likes it here, Dad?
Well, that depends.
Which one do you think she is?
That really twinkly one. See it?
Yes.
That one's sparkling.
-Wow. That one's shining. -That one has to be Mum.
-So beautiful. -Look at that shooting star over there.
-Whoa! -Everybody make a wish.
And then back to bed.
Whose wellies are they, Dad?
Well, I think they were my daddy's, but I'm not sure.
How come you don't know much about your dad?
Because my daddy was very busy,
and I didn't see him much at all when I was growing up,
and then we lost contact.
I don't want to lose contact with you.
That will never ever happen, okay?
-Never.
Oh, God! You've broke the bed!
-Kids, come in. Be careful. -Yay! The goat's back!
-Yay! -Buster.
What've we said about lollipops for breakfast, okay? Buster.
Hey! He took my lolly!
Ugh, Buster!
It's not me!
-It is not Buster, okay? The eggs are bad. -Maybe the chicken laid an egg.
Let's go and see!
-And there is no Wi-Fi. There is no Wi-Fi! -Daddy, why are you shouting?
Because there's no Wi-Fi!
-Any eggs? -We looked under every single chicken.
No eggs. Nothing.
-Thought there were gonna be more animals. -Yeah, maybe even like a baby Fleece.
-What was that? Come on! -Let's go see!
Tiny pony!
-Real-life donkey. -And a baby cow.
And a baby Fleece.
-Quick, hurry up, let's go. -Run!
It's an ogre.
Who said that? Come out and show yourselves.
How did you get in?
Through the door.
Oh, very clever.
Oh, who are you?
-Well, do you have names? -Everyone has names, don't they?
Not necessarily, no. See that donkey?
That's donkey number one, and that one is donkey number two.
-Why don't you name them? -Because I forgot to do it, okay?
What are your names?
I'm Violet.
I'm Rosie, the oldest.
-I'm Buster. -And I'm Lily, Charlie's twin.
You don't look like twins.
Because we're non-identical twins.
Right, okay, so what are you non-identicals doing on my farm?
-Our dad won it in a Willy Wonka thing. -What is a--
He means a will. Dad got it from his father's will.
So you're the new owners?
Oh my God! Well, why didn't you say?
Hello! Uh, I am Beano.
Farmhand slash animal wrangler slash professional poo-picker-upper.
Hashtag Beano at your service.
Pleased to meet you, guys.
Oh!
-Do you wanna meet the animals? -Yes!
Yes, you do!
Then walk this way.
So this is my man pig, Arnie,
named after his favorite actor, Arnold Schwarzenegger.
"I'll be back… bacon."
No? Okay, and this beautiful, beautiful soul here is Potter.
Very, very magical. Trained at Hogwarts.
And meet these little legends. Itsy.
Aww!
Bitsy. Bitsy. Yeah. Oh!
Teenie. Teenie.
And, oh, this one is Weenie, but be careful about Weenie,
'cause she will "wee wee wee-nie" all the way home.
Okay? Won't you, little one? Yes, you will.
-Ugh.
See what I mean?
Ugh.
-Wanna meet Jingle? -Yes.
-Ta-da! It's Jingle! -Aww!
Why has he got bells around his neck?
So if he wanders off, we can hear him. He's only a baby sheep.
-Hello, Jingle!
Hello, Jingle!
That's amazing! Hello, pleased to meet you.
Hello, milady. Hello, sir.
Hello to you, and hello to you too.
You look after Jingle, okay?
Now, these two little ladies, Mary and Bright,
they speak incredible French.
-Ponies don't speak French. -Excusez-moi!
Mary. Oui. Bright?
Oui, oui! Au revoir.
Au revoir.
Oh, have you met Rudolph yet?
As in the reindeer?
-Uh, no, as in Rudolph, the Great…
Oh! …Dane!
Oh. See them sheep there?
They belong to the farm, and Rudolph here is gonna herd them.
So, is Rudolph a sheepdog, then?
Not really, no, but he's trying. Shall we give it a go?
-Yeah. -Right.
Come on, Rudolph. Herd these sheep, boy! Come on, boy!
Go on, Rudolph!
Good boy.
Come on.
-Come-bye!
Hi, kids. Where have you been?
We've been talking to the animals with Beano.
That sounds great.
Dad, can we go explore the farm some more?
-Okay. Yeah, sure. Let me just try this. -Beano will look after us.
Okay, no worries. I'll be there in five.
Wait, what? Beano? Who's… who's Beano?
Right, that's… that's not gonna do it.
I'm coming, kids!
Okay. Right, okay. Get back! You get back, okay? Stay back, kids!
Who… who are you?
Please don't shoot.
He hasn't done anything wrong, Dad. He lives here.
-What do you mean? -He lives here. He's the farmhand.
And animal wangler.
-No, it's actually wrangler. -Why have you even got that, Dad?
Because I didn't know that Hagrid lived in the barn. Who are you?
Listen, I'm Beano. I live here. I've worked here my whole life.
I've been telling your non-identicals about the farm.
Dad, come and meet donkey number one. He's the cutest donkey in the world!
Okay. Sorry. I just didn't…
I'm sorry about… this. I don't think it works anyway.
Oh!
Dad, you scared Beano!
-That was an accident. -And you scared the animals.
Look at Mary! She's done a massive scared pony poo on the floor!
Say sorry to her.
-Sorry, Mary. -In French.
-In? -French.
Pardon, Mary. Il très, uh, nincompoop.
So, you work here?
-Oui. Do you know anything about plumbing?
Ta-da!
-Wow, he's magic. -Now, this is just a temporary fix, okay?
I have to take a proper look at your pipes.
Okay, well, at least I can set up my workstation.
-Workstation? -Yeah.
That's why I'm here, to work on a big pitch.
-No distractions. -What about your farm work?
-Isn't that what you do? -I am not the farmer. I am the farmhand.
The previous owner, your father, loved this place.
-He was proper hands-on. -Was he?
He was a local hero.
He saved this place from the clutches of the bad people.
They were gonna knock it down.
These bad people, did they offer any money or anything?
What? Proper cash-a-rooney.
Yeah, but he loved the animals and farm way too much to ever sell it.
-He sounds awesome. -He was awesome.
You have to admit this place is past its sell-by date.
Nothing works. Even the hens don't work. Have you smelt the eggs? They stink!
Yes, 'cause no one's been here. We've been waiting for you,
and now you are here, you can help us save the farm.
Get off me!
Can we save the farm, Daddy?
Yeah, Dad, can we save the farm with Beano?
No, staying here was just a temporary thing,
and I'm gonna get on with some work.
We need to persuade your dad that this farm is way more important
than his silly little pitch. Who's with me?
-Yes! -Yeah!
Okay. Walk this way.
Dad, you know Mummy would've wanted you to help us save the farm.
You saw how twinkly she was last night.
Okay, I tell you what, I will give you an hour tomorrow morning,
and you can show me how this whole farm works.
Yes!
Well done, Mr. C.
Hello!
Cock-a-doodle-doo! This is your 5 a.m. wake-up call.
Come on, sleepyhead.
-5 a.m.? It's the middle of the night. -Excuse me! Cows don't wait.
They've got to be milked, ready or not, and you've got to pick up their poop.
Come on.
Why have I got to do this job? It's awful.
Cows' poop are like golden nuggets. Fertilizes the grass, helps it grow.
We love the poop. We worship the poop.
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Hey, you remind me of someone. Have you seen the film The Shining?
Here's Beano!
Let's chop some wood.
You need to put your back into it, Farmer Cunningham. Swing it really high.
Yeah? Try…
Whoa!
-Pretend I'm a big voluptuous pig. -Yeah.
Litter. Floor. Pig. Litter.
Ooh! Lollipop!
Ooh!
Dangerous. Put your litter in the bin.
But most importantly, never ever leave that gate to the far field open,
'cause if that gate is left open, the animals will escape.
If they escape, they will get hurt, and if they get hurt, you will get hurt.
-Do you wanna meet the cows? -Yeah!
-Yes, you do! Come on. Let's go. -Oh.
We've got Matilda, Patty, Harry, Hermione, Miss Trunchbull.
A cow called Miss Trunchbull?
Oh, yes. Nanny McPhee and Susan Boyle.
-How many sheep do you have?
Every time I count them, I fall to sleep, so I never get to the end.
-What do you get paid for doing all this? -All this?
I get to live in the barn for free and eat all the produce that we grow,
and I mean everything, and you give me money for sweets.
Obviously, you have to pay for other things, like the vet.
-The vet? -The vet.
-Someone that looks after animals. -I know.
Why do you pay for a vet? It's a waste of money.
They're like dentists. Always add a bit extra. A rip-off.
-Do you know him? Can you trust him? -I'm a "her" actually.
And I don't rip anyone off.
-You're the horse lady. -And you're the road hog.
-I won't be staying long, don't worry. -That's a shame.
I baked these, but seeing as you're not staying…
Give 'em to me!
Sorry, I just love Miss Ashley's cookies.
-Chocolate chip? -Triple chocolate chip.
Triple chocolate chip! Arnie! Look what Daddy's got for you.
I take it you're acquainted with all the animals here, then?
I mean, I'm not really an animal person.
Well, that's a shame. Mistletoe Farm has some wonderful livestock.
-And you're about to get a new addition. -Huh?
-Holly's about to pop. -What?
She's pregnant.
You're kidding!
You're kidding.
No, 'cause a kid is a baby goat. It doesn't matter.
You should prepare yourself because goats often have twins,
sometimes triplets.
-Triplets?
Oh, hello, Mr. Weenie! How are you today?
Hello, Ashley. Thank you for the cookies. I love you.
-Oh, it's okay! -Wee, wee, wee.
-It's a present! -Okay. That's… weird.
Listen, it was nice to meet you for a second time.
Hopefully I don't have to see you again. Oh, no. I just mean the animals are fine.
I come and check up on them every week.
And if Holly Goat's waters break, give me a call at the surgery.
I think we've got it covered.
Yeah.
Ooh. I think there's something brewing, Weenie.
-Dad, who was that? -That was the vet.
She's really pretty.
She's really expensive is what she is, Rosie,
and apparently we're having kids, maybe three.
But you've just met.
No, not me and Miss Ashley. The Holly jolly goat.
Mr. Cunningham, I've give Weenie too many cookies.
There's poop everywhere. Take her. I need to clean it.
But I can't… Uh…
-Beano! Beano!
Oh, I'm glad you're back.
We've got a cat, two budgies, a parakeet, a ferret, a rabbit, and Oscar the pig.
Seems to have eaten something that he shouldn't have again.
-So, how did it go over at Mistletoe? -I met the new owner, Mr. Cunningham.
-Ooh, what's he like? -To be honest, he's a bit…
-Couldn't put it better myself.
What's Oscar been up to this time?
He's eaten my dad's underpants again.
-Mr. Cunningham! -Oh God!
-You nearly gave me a heart attack! -Sorry.
Me and the kids have come up with a roster of farm chores,
and we put you in charge of Christmas!
Yep. You've got to fix the barn up for the Hoedown Snowdown!
-The what? -Happens every Christmas at the barn.
We snow the place down.
There's mulled wine and barn dancing, cowboy.
Wait, no. It will not be happening this year.
I need to do a pitch on Christmas Eve, and I need quiet.
No, this will not do.
You have got to find a way to get Christmas into this barn.
Your father would be very disappointed.
Listen, you can have your Snowdown Hoedown if you like,
but you're not gonna have it on my farm.
Oh, boy, does your dad get angry.
I don't think he likes Christmas anymore.
He even made me leave the Christmas tree at home.
We need help, guys, and I know exactly who we need.
We need to get your dad into the village to meet the village people.
-Yes! -Ooh.
This, guys, is Cobbledon.
Post Office. Letters to Santa go there, okay, guys?
And now I'm gonna take ya to the Cobbledon Arms.
Come on, we're clearly not welcome here.
Oh.
-What's all this? -It's for you!
Beano told us you've come to save Mistletoe Farm.
You're our hero!
Come in, come in, let's meet everyone.
This is Perky, the landlord.
Pleasure to meet you, son of Cunningham. Hey, first one's on me.
This is Ted the butcher, Barry the baker, and Merrick.
Let me guess, the candlestick maker?
-How'd you know? -I was joking.
He does! He makes candles.
I'm Otto, the builder.
Anything you need fixing, I'm your man.
And I'm Barney, the postman.
I delivered the inheritance. Told you you'd like it.
-And I'm the town crier! -Hello.
If you pop your head round here, you'll see Happy, Sneezy, Dopey,
and this bundle of joy, Grumpy.
It's what they played in panto last year. They were typecast.
My name's Gerald Favor. I'm the director of the Cobbledon Players.
Did I ever tell you all about that time I did The Mousetrap?
Yes!
And one of my favorites, Miss Bow.
Only because I own the sweet shop.
Who are these little mites?
We have Master Buster, Miss Violet, Miss Rosie, and the twins.
They don't look like twins.
-They're non-identical. -Ah.
-They're mine. -Where's your mummy?
She died.
-Oh… -Uh, here, have some sweets.
And I knitted you some novelties. Perhaps you'd like to choose one each.
-Thank you. -Thank you.
Hi, I'm Miss Nerris.
Cobbledon Village School. Are these the children joining my class?
I'm excited about getting them to hang out with children their age.
There's only two children in my class.
There's only two children in the whole school, actually.
You see, we're a very small village with a teeny tiny population.
Forty-seven. Twenty-nine letterboxes.
Fine, as long as they do educational activities.
Of course.
-If I can think of any.
What I mean is education comes in many forms.
Does it?
-Yeah. -That is true.
Do you like singing?
-Do you? -You're welcome to join the choir.
Hi, I'm Abel. I organize the welly throwing.
I'm Aaron, head bell ringer. We practice on a Monday if you're free.
I'm Miss Verity. I run the village bookshop and library.
Pop in any time for a book and a biscuit.
By the way, my name's Miss Womble,
and I've created the knitting circle,
and I knit all the jumpers that you can see here,
every single one of them, and the hats,
and we'd be delighted if you'd like to all join in,
and we'd especially like you to join, Mr. Cunningham.
If you don't know how to knit, we could knit you a jumper.
We could knit your face onto it if you like.
What do you think?
-He's handsome, isn't he? -Yes.
Listen, I'm not really into all this community stuff.
We were gonna ask you to be the president of the Christmas Association.
Your father always cut down the biggest Christmas tree
and donated it to the village square.
We don't have a Christmas tree at the house.
-Not even any Christmas lights. -No Christmas on Mistletoe Farm?
Well, we'll have to see what we can do about that, won't we?
Absolutely.
Uh, who fancies a Cobbledon Soda? Yeah. You take a seat. Come on.
-How's Holly Goat?
Um, I haven't checked on her. I don't know.
You haven't checked on your pregnant goat?
Well… No, I'm sure she'll be fine.
-I'll check when I get back.
5,000. 5,000? That can't…
5,000, and he hasn't paid… Have you paid for anything?
Sweets. Sweets? £68 on sweets.
It can't be.
Is it saying "Matt"?
-Hey, Holly. How you doing?
Are you a bit anxious?
My wife was scared when she had our first baby.
I mean, not as scared as me. I was terrified about being a dad.
Didn't know if I'd be any good.
Nice to see you talking to the animals, Mr. Cunningham.
You know, they understand everything we say,
and we can understand every bleat, moo, bark, oink, if we truly listen.
Well, I have listened, understood, and now I'm leaving.
Mr. C, when you were talking to Holly about not being a good enough dad…
-I think you're going to be a great dad. -"Going to be"?
Me and your popsicle, we were close.
He let me call him grandpops because he knew he missed out
on his own kid and grandkids.
I don't want you missing out too.
I am nothing like my "popsicle," okay?
I don't think you should be sticking your nose into my family.
We're family too!
How?
If your popsicle was my grandpops, then you are more or less my dad.
What are you talking about?
You're a fully grown man, and you are definitely not my family.
-Did you put that step there? -No.
-Night, Dad.
You literally took the words right out of my mouth.
Hey, Buster, what's up?
-I had a bad dream. -Oh, buddy, come here.
You know bad dreams aren't real.
Do we have to go to school tomorrow?
School is meant to be fun.
But the children might laugh at me.
-Why would anybody laugh at you? -Because I wear sparkly things.
You know, Buster, there's absolutely nothing wrong
with wearing sparkly things. Anyone can wear sparkles.
Even Fleece?
Definitely Fleece.
Even Mary and Bright?
Yes, ponies love sparkles.
Even you?
Well, I'm not exactly a sparkly kind of person,
but your mum, she used to love anything with glitter and sequins.
Did she wear a princess crown?
I bet she did when she was your age.
-Shall we go to bed? -Yeah.
Come on, then.
Mary and Bright fed and exercised?
-Check! -Check.
-Cows and goats milked? -Check.
Pigs and piglets cleaned?
-Double check. -Double check-a-rooney.
Next job, school.
We don't wanna go to school.
-We wanna stay on the farm with you. -I don't think your dad would like that.
-How are we gonna get to school anyway? -Yeah, Dad always gives us a lift.
Ta-da.
-What are they? -Bicycles.
-I don't know how to ride. -You don't know how to ride a bike?
Well, then, you're gonna have to learn. First bikes, then tractors.
Get your right leg, put it over the bike.
Look forward, okay? No wobbling.
These are your brakes.
Okay, guys? Very straight. Focus. Let's go.
Second one, go.
Let's go, go, go! Yes, buddy.
Feet on the pedals. Yes! You've got it!
Yes!
Wee!
-Have you seen the kids? -They've gone to school.
-What? How? -On their bikes. Like I did.
You went to school?
Yeah. I went to farm school.
-Is that even a thing? -Uh, yes.
Are you sure they're gonna be okay just biking off?
-They don't know the area. -They'll be fine.
-Where's the school? -In the village.
-Where's the village? -I don't know.
-We're lost. -It's okay, Buster.
I'm getting the wobbles again!
Dad says to always stay where we are until someone finds us.
There's no one here though.
Yes, there is. Look!
Yoo-hoo! Hello!
Hello, young 'uns.
We're late for school.
The school's only up the road. Come on.
Is there really no Christmas on Mistletoe Farm?
Nope, no Christmas.
We're gonna have to help your father bring back Christmas traditions.
And this is your new school.
There you are, children! Don't worry, I've only just got here.
Kayla and Kayan are dying to meet you.
Pop your bikes on the floor. Thank you so much.
-In you go. -Break a leg!
Right, come on then. In you go. Sit down at the table.
Right, then.
So now we have a big, huge class, we can do so many things.
We can… make a school choir or put on a big Christmas play.
-Yes! -Yes!
What else do you wanna do?
-We don't really like school. -Especially our old school.
Why not?
I had a lot of friends,
but when Mum died, I got sad, and they called me boring.
-Oh gosh, that's terrible, isn't it? -Yeah.
-What about you, Violet? -I get scared.
Not about anything special. I just get the wobbles sometimes.
That's all right. We all get the wobbles sometimes.
Kids used to laugh at me because I wear sparkles.
We love sparkles here, don't we?
-Yeah, they're pretty. -And they're cool.
How about we decorate the school Christmas tree?
-Yes! -Make it sparkly.
Come on, then. Follow me.
That's it. Pop your decorations on.
-Where'd you get that star, Violet? -I made it for my mum at nursery.
We put it on the tree every year, but there's not a tree at the farmhouse.
Well, Miss Nerris, maybe we can lend them our tree this year. We don't mind.
I don't think your dad would like it.
I think our dad would be so busy working, he wouldn't even notice.
Really? Well, that's perfect.
We'll take the tree to the farmhouse, and he won't even know we've been.
Global? Global, global. Global.
-Marketing. Advantages.
Merry Crimble!
Festive gifts and Womble's knits!
-It's Christmas! -Ho-ho-ho!
-Sorry, what? -Where would you like us to start?
-Start? -We've got to start on the decorations.
-Okay. -No, we'll dress the set.
-Come on, Dame Judi. -See you later.
Oh, Merry Christmas, Mr. Cunningham!
Okay, listen, everyone. Sorry, can I get your attention?
I really do appreciate the community spirit. I do, okay?
But is there not a time that is more convenient?
Christmas won't wait for convenience.
The Hoedown Snowdown will not stage itself.
We are not having the Hoedown Snowdown this year. Not here, not now.
Okay? So if everyone can just…
Thank you so much. It's great, but if you can…
That's it, take your hammer. Off you go. Very good. Thank you.
All the best. Thank you.
They're only trying to bring Christmas spirit.
I don't need Christmas spirit. I need peace and quiet.
Well…
No. No. Out! Fine, no. Tell you what. Stay. Make yourself a sandwich.
Make yourself at home.
-Get out of my way.
Don't worry, donkey number two. He's just a silly old Grinch.
I know.
-Who wears a tie at a farm?
Ho-ho-ho. I've got a delivery for you.
-What delivery? -Christmas cards from the villagers.
A lovely one from Miss Womble.
Hand-knitted, impressive. Two lines of poetry in it.
-Sorry, are you reading my post? -Only for health and safety.
Shall I take yours to the sorting office now?
It's Womble, L-E. Not E-L.
You might wanna put a kiss on each card. We usually do, just to be friendly.
I'm not putting a kiss.
And talking of Christmas cards, your father used to be so popular,
he had hundreds of cards up here round on the walls.
And generous!
He used to put a £10 note in each card
with a little note saying, "Have a Cobbledon Brew on me."
Did he? Good for him. Right. That's the last one.
And you need to go.
I have a very important virtual meeting with a friend of mine starting very soon.
All right.
We have real friends round here, Mr. Cunningham, not virtual ones.
Virtual friends, I don't know!
Ah, Miss Nerris, seeing as I'm passing, I'll just give you one of those.
-Lovely. Thank you. -From…
What's this?
We brought it from the school!
-Miss Nerris said we could! -Can we show Kayla and Kayan the animals?
-Haven't they got to get back to school? -No. Children love animals.
Like I said, Mr. Cunningham, education takes many forms.
Mr. C! Mr. C!
Farmer Cunningham, it's Holly Goat. Her waters have broken!
-What? -Quick!
Okay, listen, I need you to call Miss Ashley, okay?
And… Oh, get a discount.
I'm coming!
Hang on!
Miss Ashley's on her way. Do you mind if me and the kids stay and watch?
-This would be very educational. -Please can we see the baby goat get born?
Stay up there, okay? Stay out the way because this is grown-up stuff.
Blow out, blow in, blow out, blow in.
You don't blow out, blow in. You breathe in, you breathe out.
Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.
I can't breathe. I'm having a panic attack.
You're hyperventilating. You need to calm down.
No! Please! Come on, sheepy-sheep.
-That's it. I do have somewhere to go.
-Yes! -That's… Oh, God! There's a head!
There's a head in a bubble. I can't… I'm gonna…
No, no. You are not gonna pass out!
This is just Mother Nature taking its course.
Look, I'll just take a… Oh my God. Yeah, that is a bit weird. I'm dizzy!
Let me help.
Sh, it's all right. It's all right. You're doing really well. Keep pushing.
Harder! Keep pushing! Harder! You're doing great! Harder! Keep pushing.
-Violet, you totally smashed it! -Look at what you did!
Look what you did.
I got here as fast as I could. How's everything going?
-Well, you missed the whole thing. -I wouldn't be so sure.
-She's right. I can see another bubble. -Beano, listen. I don't feel…
What are you doing? This is no time to sleep.
Violet will help you. She delivered the first one.
-Well done, Violet. -Come on, Holly.
Ah! I'll just, uh, wrap her up in a towel.
So cute.
-Ooh. Oh! Looks like she's pushing again.
No, now is not a good time. I can't talk.
Fletcher wants an update now!
I tried covering for you, but she wants to speak to you.
-Tell her I'm indisposed. -I tried, but she's insisting!
Looks like a breech. I can find the feet. I need you to pull.
-What are you doing, anyway? -I'm trying to deliver a kid.
-What? -Oh God, Miss Fletcher's calling me.
Cunningham! Is that you?
Hi! Miss Fletcher.
It has come to my understanding
that you're in some kind of creative retreat
so as to have no distractions, as it were. Is that right?
That's right!
-That's it! Push! I need you to pull.
-Is that a woman's voice I can hear? -No, it's just a kid.
Come on, Holly. Push.
Children and business do not mix!
Sorry, Miss Fletcher, you're breaking up. I have to go.
Come on, Holly! Push! I need you to push.
Pull.
-That's it.
-We did it! -We did it!
Sorry. I didn't… It's just…
-Yeah. -We made a baby!
We made a baby!
Ooh, big daddy!
Look how many babies you've gone and done.
Who's a good daddy? You're a good daddy. Who's a good daddy?
-No, she's not taking.
I'm afraid you're going to have to hand-rear them.
Take them in for a while.
Miss Holly's exhausted.
Don't worry, they'll be okay.
If you can bottle-feed them, take them to bed, cuddle them,
keep them warm, sing to them, things you did with your own children.
I didn't really do the nursing stuff.
Well, now's your chance.
-Okay.
So you did really well, Miss Violet.
Would you like to come and help me at the surgery?
-Yes, please. Can I, Dad? -I don't see why not.
I know he wants them to be in school, but seeing little Violet there in action
makes me think farm school would be better for their confidence.
Oh, thank you, Miss Nerris. That's what I've been trying to tell people.
Farm school is amazing,
and Farmer Cunningham needs it more than anyone.
And the kids, too, especially Kayla and Kayan.
They've been on their own up until now.
Don't worry, Miss Nerris. Beano's got a plan.
We've got three baby Christmas goats.
So what about… Snowy?
-Yeah. -Yeah? Star.
-Yeah! -Do you want to name the third?
-Yes. -Go on, then!
We want to name it after our mummy.
This little dude's a boy.
We don't mind. We want to call it Sarah.
Welcome, Sarah,
to the family.
-Hello? -Yo, she's after your address.
-She wants to know where the farm is! -What?
Fletcher! She said she was disappointed with your FaceTime call,
said you were distracted by your kids!
Well, to be honest, it wasn't my kids. It was Holly's.
You were supposed to go to that farm to work, to save our jobs.
The Banda House vultures are circling this deal, bro!
-Somebody at the door.
Hi, Mr. Cunningham.
Just thought that it'd be really nice
if the children could spend time with the baby goats?
-Uh, what, today?
Me and the villagers thought it'd be really great
if everyone could take part in their education,
and today is your turn.
I've already got five children, three kids.
You want to give me two more?
"It'd be so good for them to have children their own age to play with."
-Isn't that what you said? -Yes. But I didn't mean--
Okay, off you pop. Have fun!
-Enjoy farm school! -Right, who wants to dig up some sprouts?
Yes, come on. Follow me!
Last one to the top of the hill has to peel them too!
You too, Mr. Cunningham!
Come on, Rudolph!
Come on, boy.
-What's going on? -We're having sprouts for lunch.
Good luck getting my kids to have sprou--
Mm.
Buster, where's your lollipop?
I gave it to Billy Goat. I like sprouts now.
-Do you want a sprout? -No. Absolutely not.
You can't hide in your study forever!
So we need to find a way to draw him out of that boring little study.
-Any ideas? -Why don't you show Dad your tractor?
Oh yeah! Even Daddy likes tractors.
Yes. Yes, I love it.
It's big. It's bold. It's beautiful!
Come on, follow me.
Let's go!
-Ready? Let's go! Woo-hoo!
Innovation that we can bring to your products and your businesses.
-We go the extra mile.
-Why is it doing that? The--
What's that?
It's crashed. Oh my God. Yeah, I know. It's worse than that. Okay.
What else did I write? I wrote "connections."
Oh, this is a nightmare!
What's that growing on the tree, Beano?
Oh, this?
This is mistletoe. It grows all over the farm.
That's where Mistletoe Farm gets its name. But our mistletoe is magic.
What do you mean?
Our mistletoe doesn't make people just kiss.
It makes them fall in love.
Ooh!
Come on! I'll show ya.
Donkey number one, donkey number two, I've seen the way you look at each other.
Now it's time to bring some magic to your romance.
Aww!
Yes!
Love is in the air!
That's what I'm saying. It's an absolute nightmare.
My computer's crashed. He's left me all these unpaid bills.
-Hay bills, electricity, gas, water! -I knew this would happen.
Your father's left you in trouble.
I know that you said to manage my expectations.
We're coming back to London straight away.
Sorry, Mum, can I call you back?
-Do you want to ride the tractor? -No! I've got tons of work to do!
-I don't wanna go back to London. -We have to do something.
Magic mistletoe. Voilà.
Merry Christmas to you.
-Merry Christmas. -How's it going?
We're trying to help with the bills so he doesn't take them back to London.
No way! You can't go back there! This is your home now.
-What's going on? -Their dad wants to take 'em to London.
But you're the future of Cobbledon. All right, let me get one.
Hello, children. I've brought you each a ball of wool and some needles.
You can choose your color. Ooh! The mistletoe.
I haven't seen this for a while. I'm gonna have a whole basketful.
-Oh! -Thank you.
-Never know when the magic will happen! -No!
Hello, Otto.
Hey, you want some? It's for a good cause.
Why would I want some? It's not like I want to kiss Miss Nerris.
I've made a contribution.
I'll keep it safe… until you're ready.
I've been ready for years, Otto.
-Ooh!
Beano, can I get some of that?
Thank you very much.
Hello, ladies!
Hello!
How are the kids?
Mr. Cunningham's doing really well with them.
He's even named one of them Sarah.
I'll take one of those. You never know when you might need it.
-Yeah.
Bye.
It's gonna happen! It's gonna happen!
Sorry to disturb you.
I hear you're thinking about going back to the city.
-Where'd you hear that? -The village vine.
-Can you take Snowy? -Sure.
-Come on. -I just need to go boil the kettle.
Get the hot water bottles ready. Come on.
Hey, guys.
I'm gonna keep you nice and warm.
-Good girl.
How are you girls getting on?
-New owner treating you well? Huh?
-You're great with the animals. -Thank you. Just did Holly's milk.
Thank you.
It's easier with Holly's kids than my own.
Must be hard for them losing their mum.
I don't really like to talk about it.
Well, if you ever do want to talk about it,
I'm good with humans too.
-Oh, yeah.
Emergency. It's, uh, Oscar the pig again.
-Gotta go! -No, wait.
You dropped something.
Do you think she used the mistletoe?
Doesn't look like it. But if your dad and Miss Ashley did fall in love,
he would definitely want to stay and save the farm.
-We need to make it happen. -What about Mum?
I think she wants that too.
We need to find a way to get Miss Ashley back here.
Why don't we ask her for dinner tomorrow?
And pretend that Rudolph's sick and needs help?
Won't she be mad if she finds out we're lying?
No, no. She won't find out.
Rudolph is a really good actor. He is well sick.
Right, for this smoochy magic to work, we're gonna need way more mistletoe, okay?
Let's spread out all over the farm.
Operation Mistletoe, go, go, go! Let's go!
I have had no updates
and no evidence to suggest he has done any work at all.
If Fletcher Consultants is in trouble,
I need to see it with my own eyes.
No, she can't come here.
That's what she said! She's the boss!
I think she thinks you're hiding.
Just stop her from coming, okay? I am so close to nailing this pitch.
You look worried. Why am I talking to a goat? I need to get out!
Brilliant job! Yes! Let's go, go, go!
-Peekaboo! -Hello there.
I understand you're having a bit of financial difficulty at the farm.
Now look, we've got a Christmas show coming up.
I would be more than happy to do a bucket collection.
I really need a singer for the carol concert.
Maybe a little singsong will cheer you up.
No, I don't sing.
Lily's coming to the library later. You could read with her.
Pop into the bakery. Violet's coming in to help with the Christmas cakes.
No, I'm trying to lose calories, not gain them.
We don't count calories in Cobbledon!
Tie it up all over the house,
so when they walk under it, they have to kiss,
and then, boom, magic!
I've been meaning to ask about the Christmas tree. You won't let us down!
Mr. Cunningham, we've got a quote here for a new roof on the barn.
It's in a terrible state, leaking for years.
It's a bit expensive, but maybe we can all help out.
I'm not a charity.
-But you're family. Cobbledon family. -You're one of the village people now.
Always great to see you, and I'll see you soon.
-At the Christmas fair! -Christmas fair.
-That's where we'll see you. -See you.
-At the Christmas fair! -Okay!
-Don't miss it! -Missing you already!
-Where's my speech? -What speech?
The thing I've been writing on paper!
-You mean that one? -No, no, no! Give me that.
Have you not got a backup on your computer?
Computer's broken. That's why I wrote it on paper.
Okay. Now I've had another little fiddle with the pipes,
but I think you're gonna need a proper plumber.
Oh! Oh, Mr. Cunningham!
Oh no!
It's freezing!
-It's freezing!
Mistletoe Farm. I've got a bit of an emergency.
Broken water pipe. Yeah, quick as you can. Okay, thank you.
"Rural Estates. Property Buyers. Cash Offers."
Hello.
Sorry, I haven't got time. I'm waiting for a plumber.
-I am the plumber. -You're the baker!
-And plumber. -Come in. Thank you.
We're so grateful you came to rescue the farm,
save it from those nasty developers who were sniffing around.
Oh, rotten, they were.
Relentless, yeah. They only care about money, money, money.
They sound terrible.
They don't care if those animals are carted off to you know where.
It'll be Jingle pie, and goat curry for those poor babies.
That'll fix it.
You're a lifesaver. Thank you.
-All the best, Mr. Cunningham. Bye-bye. -Bye-bye.
-Thanks again! -Bye!
It's okay, Rudolph.
-What's going on? -Rudolph's in pain.
Has he eaten something bad? Has he got a bad stomach?
His farts have been really stinky lately, haven't they?
Really stinky.
I can prescribe him some painkillers if he's off his food.
-Can Miss Ashley stay for dinner tonight? -Well, not tonight.
It's just I've got all those leftovers from yesterday,
and I need to do my work.
Well, maybe you should look up from your work sometimes, Mr. Cunningham.
-Do that. Look up. Go on. -Yeah, look up, Daddy.
-Look up! -Up, up, up!
Oh.
Huh. Who put that there?
I think I'm just gonna go and check up on the goats. Yeah?
Uh…
I-I think I'm just gonna go and check on Miss Ashley.
Oh, yes, well done, Rudolph.
Bravo, my friend, bravo.
You're a star. You're a star, my friend!
-Hi.
Don't worry about Rudolph. He's okay.
-Oh, good. -Prescription for Billy the goat.
Bad tooth.
Someone's been feeding him sweets.
Oh, it's Buster. Lollipops.
Although apparently Buster likes sprouts now.
Much healthier.
It's obvious they like each other. Why didn't they kiss under the mistletoe?
And I think we need to reunite Holly with the kids again. She's much stronger.
Oh. I was enjoying looking after the little ones.
The man who's not really an animal person suddenly finds his heart.
I wouldn't go that far.
It's just since my heart broke, I've tried not to use it, you know?
-Have a good evening. -Yeah. Yeah, you too.
Don't you think the stars shine brighter in the countryside?
Well, there's more sky, so there's more stars.
Makes you feel like you're being watched over, doesn't it?
What do I do?
Should I stay?
Give me a sign.
Hi, Dad.
Charlie, are you knitting? You're meant to be asleep.
I need to get it done, Dad.
-What is it? A present? Is it for me? -It's for Kayla.
-What are these? -They're for the triplets.
Miss Womble knitted them. She's gonna knit one for Jingle.
Well, they are very lucky little goats.
They're going back into the barn tonight, so these are gonna keep them warm.
There we go. There we go.
Star, come on.
-Let's see if you can latch on. -Go on, Star.
-Come on. That's it.
That's it!
-Yes, she did it. -That's fantastic. Okay. Here we go.
Snowy's turn. Go on, Snowy. Go on. Don't be nervous.
-Come on, Snowy. -That's it. Go on.
-That's it. You're doing it, Snowy. -Yeah, he did it!
Yeah!
Okay, Sarah, come on.
Off you go. Go on.
-Go on, Sarah. -Do it for Mum, Sarah.
-Go on. -Come on, Sarah. You can do it.
Come on.
That's right, Sarah.
-That's it. You've nearly got it. -You're nearly there.
Sarah!
You've done it!
-Sarah, you've done it!
You good girl. You're such a good mum.
How about you go back to bed? I'll stay with Holly and the kids all night.
Well done, Sarah.
I love you.
Love you.
You did really well with them goats.
Oh.
-Do you wanna sleep in my hammock? -You just want to sleep in my bed.
Oh, no. No, no, no.
I'm gonna snuggle down here, nice and cozy like a piglet.
What was he like?
My dad. I'm wearing his clothes. I don't know anything about him.
He was a bit like Arnie the pig.
Like, big and cuddly.
He loved nature, loved animals. He loved the stars too.
He used to say no matter how dark it got, there was always stars to light the way.
If he was so wonderful, how come he just left me?
-Different priorities. -Gets a job in America, never looks back.
-Like I didn't exist. -He loved you though.
He didn't try and find me when he came back.
He did. Loads of times.
But the letters always got returned. Hang on.
Here you go.
What…
But… but this is the wrong address.
We moved after he left.
He didn't know that. He just thought you didn't wanna know him.
I might not be the best dad in the world, but I would do anything for my children.
If these letters had come back to me,
I would've gone to the ends of the earth to find my kids.
He obviously just didn't want to find me.
Good night, Mary. Good night, Bright.
-Good night, Billy.
Good night, donkey number one. Good night--
-Please go to sleep. -Goodnight, Farmer Cunningham.
Good morning, Mr. Cunningham.
Come on, sleepyhead.
Come on now. Come on. Me and the kids are going wild swimming. Wanna come?
-It's brilliant for your circulation. -I've told you. I can't!
My boss could turn up any day now.
It's the weekend. Bosses don't work weekends.
We've got lots of activities lined up, and tonight is the Christmas fair.
No, she's on the warpath. She wants my blood.
Oh, fine, go and stew in your own work juice,
and do not forget that Christmas tree, okay?
The village square won't be the same without it. Capisce? Thank you.
What?
Sorry, Popsicle. I guess I'm not the son you wanted me to be,
but you weren't exactly the dad I wanted either.
Not you again. You see this?
This is the answer to all my prayers, and you will be out of my life forever.
Right. Give me that back.
-Let go of it.
-Right. I need…
Right. Come here. Come back. Come back!
Oh, it's lovely! It's lovely and warm. Yes, you're in!
Woo-hoo!
Just give me the leaflet. Come on. We're friends, aren't we? Old friends.
Give me that. Yes! Ha ha!
Thought you could outsmart Matt Cunningham? Well, you can't,
because these guys…
Hang on. Give that back. Oi, hang on. Give me that back!
Right. Give it. Come here!
Give me that! Where's he going? Come here. I've got you! Come here!
And that is how you do it.
Yes?
I need some of your mistletoe, the magic stuff.
-What? -The stuff that makes 'em want to kiss!
Sorry, I'm in the middle of something. Come back later?
It might be too late. She might've gone off with someone else!
Gone off with… Here. Here. Take this.
Thank you!
Welcome to the Cobbledon Players.
I think it's fair of me to say that my productions here
are really pretty legendary.
Now let's just start off
by getting you to tell me what acting experience you've got. Anybody?
I was going to be in the Christmas play at school.
I'm afraid "going to be" doesn't quite cut the mustard.
When I was in The Mousetrap…
…what we would always do is we would elongate our words for dramatic effect.
We'd also leave great big, long pauses after every three or four words.
Then we'd have lots of double takes.
I'll show you this actually. Listen and learn.
I am a genie,
and I live in a lamp.
But look!
Who goes there?
Could it be
Aladdin?
Now let's give you a little go.
I am a genie,
and I live in a lamp.
You see, I didn't believe a word of that.
Lovely. You will go far.
Gerald, maybe we should focus more on the hoedown this year.
We can teach them how to speak hoedown and line dancing.
But my production--
Can take a backseat this year, for the sake of the children.
You all want to be part of the hoedown, right?
-Yes. -Oh, absolutely!
If you wanna go to the hoedown,
we need to teach you how to walk the walk and talk the talk.
Hit it!
Come on, everybody. Clap your hands. It's the Cobbledon Christmas hoedown.
Now, y'all need to be hoedown ready for the Cobbledon Hoedown Snowdown.
-Say Cobbledon. -Cobbledon!
Say Christmas!
Christmas!
-Say Cobbledon Christmas! -Cobbledon Christmas!
-Say hoedown! -Hoedown!
-Say snowdown! -Snowdown!
-Say yee-haw! -Yee-haw!
-Say ooga-ooga-ooga! -Ooga-ooga-ooga!
-Say buckaroo! -Buckaroo!
Now you're speakin' hoedown too.
Barney tells us your barn roof needs fixing.
Happy to take a look, see if we can fix it up.
There's no point fixing the roof when the barn's gonna get knocked down.
-Knocked down? -That's the phone, the office.
So I've got to…
But thank you for your interest.
Ooh!
Yee-haw!
Mr. Cunningham's gonna knock the barn down, tear it all down!
"I hope you will make a visit to Mistletoe Farm
at your earliest convenience so that we can make an acceptable deal
and I can hand over the property to you for redevelopment
as soon as possible."
"Yours sincerely, Mr. Cunningham."
Oyez, oyez!
Welcome to the village Christmas fair!
He's here with the tree!
Your dad's here, kids. Go! Come on, let's go and see him.
Yes. Quick, quick, quick, quick!
Oyez, oyez!
Now for the main event.
The generous donation of the Christmas tree from Mistletoe Farm!
That is not a forest tree.
Hey, that's from our school.
-We gave it to you. -That's our tree.
Oyez, oyez.
He is a traitor.
He's selling the farm to the developers!
-What? -No!
No!
Okay, I've spoken to the developers.
I've made an appointment, and they're going to buy the farm,
and there's nothing that any of you can do about it.
Mr. Cunningham, you may have given up on us,
but we refuse to give up on you.
Yes.
And I made that jumper for you with your face on it.
What…
Huh.
-Is that meant to be me? -It's flattering.
How does this look anything like me?
-I wouldn't put this on a goat! -It wouldn't fit it.
They say it takes a village to raise a child, Mr. Cunningham.
This village is raising yours. The least you can say is thank you.
Yeah.
-Kids, we're going. -I don't want to go!
Guys.
I don't wanna go, Dad.
Go and get in the car.
Fine.
We can't just let him sell the farm.
The village without a farm will be like Cobbledon without Christmas.
I say we stage a protest.
We can appeal to Mr. Cunningham's sensitive side.
He doesn't have a sensitive side from what I can see.
You know what they say about killing with kindness.
Let's show him how really kind we can be.
I don't think he realizes how much he needs us,
and he's gonna be so lonely this Christmas.
Okay, well, thank you. That's very… nice.
Okay, thank you, kids. Inside.
They were the only ones that could sing in tune.
-Oh! -What?
Meet me in the barn first thing.
We're gonna stop those developers. Make sure you tell the others.
-Yes. -Yes.
Get down.
We've spotted the vehicles.
I repeat, we've spotted the vehicles. Enemy incoming. I repeat, enemy incoming.
You've got to turn it on, Beano.
Enemies incoming. Get to your positions ASAP.
H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P.
-Now! -Now!
Okay. Over and out.
Ugh.
Hello. Ah, you found it okay.
-Mr. Cunningham, hi. -Hi, Mr. Cunningham.
-Marlon. -He's Marlon Morris. I'm Louis.
-Louis Drake. -That's me.
-Okay. Love the place. It stinks. -It stinks. It reeks. Must be intolerable.
-Poor man. -Oh, your nostrils!
-Ugh! -Ugh!
-Wanna start in the house? -Let's. Come on, boys.
Good idea. Nice to be back. Love to your papa.
Ow!
Charlie is go. Repeat, Charlie is go.
Cunningham, the contract. We'd love you to just pop your signature there.
Have a skim. Don't worry about the small print.
It's fine. I don't need to read the small print.
I'm happy to see the back of this place.
Absolutely perfect. Now, listen, before we sign, I'd just…
-I'd love to have another look round. -Yeah. No, fine.
-I can just store it safely over here. -Okay.
-This is the kitchen? -Yep.
-Oh! -Oh.
Oh gosh!
-That's… -What is that?
It's quite a smell, isn't it?
-Trust me. It's just rotten eggs. -That is horrific!
It's the poisonous mold from the sewer pit below.
-What? -What did you say?
-Didn't you tell them about the sewer pit? -No!
There is categorically no sewer pit under the--
-What is this? -It's toxic! Agh!
-What is this? -That is not poisonous.
It's in my eyes!
Look, I am sorry about before. As you can see, it's a spacious bedroom.
Yeah, no probs. We'll move on.
-Do you wanna-- -Take some measurements? Love to.
What's this? We've got a… Okay.
-What is that? -Oh gosh!
-What is that? -A pig.
-Why is there a pig there? -I don't know.
-Who keeps a pig in a wardrobe? -Why is there a pig?
Leave the farm alone! Hey! Leave the farm alone! Hey!
So this is the barn, just up here.
The animals spend most of their time in here.
They absolutely love it.
A lot of the original features up here, which is nice.
Well, this is it.
Oh, yeah, it's lovely.
-Let's knock it down. -Maybe a boutique hotel.
Well, no, 'cause the anim… It doesn't matter.
-Have a look round, and I'll pop back. -Yeah.
-Yeah. Okay, fine. -Yeah.
Yeah, see ya.
-Drake. -Yeah.
-Animals. -Livestock.
-Who's a little pork chop?
-Cute. -Oh, oh!
Stop, stop!
Put it… Put it down.
-I can't see! -You're fine. It's fine. A little lamb.
Hello, little lamb. Can you say "mint sauce"?
Can you say "medium rare with onion gravy"?
Un, deux, trois!
-Drake! Drake!
Leave the farm alone! Hey! Leave the farm alone! Hey!
I mean, so this is everything. There is a wood down there.
We have crops over there, some sprouts or something.
Yeah. I can see ice rink, theme park, retail park. What do you see?
I can't see anything after what we've been through.
It's been an absolute nightmare.
Come on! Traitor!
-Cobbledon, Cobbledon-ooga! -Ooga!
And get off of our land, or we'll get you off!
Don't worry. It's just the local yokels, the village people.
We've had worse protesters than this. These are little people with little lives!
-Little people? Hold my coat. -No, no, no, no!
-This land is not for taking! -Don't worry about her.
-She's the head of the knitting circle. -No surrender!
-Ugh! -Ugh!
Ugh!
Charge!
Let's be havin' you!
Barry, what the hell are you playing at?
Trying to do what's best for our community.
-You won't scare them off that easy. -We might not, but they will.
Oh my…
Bye-bye!
That's it, get out!
-Faster! -Get them!
-Go on! -Get off our farm!
Yes!
No! Do not sign that, Farmer Cunningham.
I have already signed it. They didn't,
and now they don't want to buy the farm, thanks to you.
You can't go back to being all work.
Real life is not fresh air and talking to chickens, Beano, okay?
-People's jobs are at stake! -Your kids' happiness is too.
-My kids are fine. -They miss their mum.
But they miss their dad more.
This is business, Beano.
Kids don't count!
We don't count?
No, I… Well, it was… I was…
Oh, well, thank you. Thank you very much!
This had better be the best pitch Cunningham has written,
because if it's not, he will be losing a lot more than his job,
if you know what I mean.
-What's that? -That's a sheep. You know…
Them ones.
Ugh! What's that noxious smell?
Oh, it's the countryside air!
What are you doing?
-I don't like it!
-Looks like we've seen 'em off!
Oh, maybe I spoke too soon.
There's more of them! They're all coming out of the woodwork!
Boo!
Where is he? Where's Matthew? What have you done with him?
-We don't want you here! We've had enough! -Aye.
I have driven all the way from London to here,
and I demand to see him now!
We know exactly where you've come from, same place as the last idiots.
-Excuse me? -Whoa!
-We don't want any trouble. -Then you've come to the wrong place.
-What's that? -A pig. The ones that…
-Them ones. -Yes. Just get rid of it!
-Get rid of it? -Oh, I'll do it myself!
-I was gonna try and-- -Don't you dare spray perfume at that pig!
Miss Fletcher. Ignore these… yokels and come inside.
-Yes, yes.
There's no point in buying a farm if you don't like the smell of manure.
That pig's got more right to be here than you!
Agh, God, they're multiplying!
Get away from me, you filthy swine!
Miss Fletcher, I'm so sorry! Mo, please get her out of the mud.
D'you… Do you wanna?
-You're fired. -Please, don't--
You are sacked.
You are dismissed with immediate effect.
I ain't gonna sugarcoat it. You're gone. Now, Mo, heave me up!
Please! I've been working on the pitch. It's really good!
-I like what you've done. -I need this job!
-Sorry it didn't work out, yeah? -Mr. Cunningham. I would like a refund.
-What? -My one didn't work!
I don't know what you're talking about!
Oh, Grumpy!
-Mr. Cunningham. -Okay, you.
You see that woman out there? She's not a developer.
She's my boss, okay? And now I'm sacked.
So that's gone. That job has gone, and it is… It's all your fault.
-I'm sorry, Mr. Cunningham. -No! You don't get to be sorry right now.
After everything my kids have been through,
I can't even put a roof over their heads.
-I can fix the roof. -Not this roof!
In our home.
In our real home, with real people, in London where we live,
where I now can't afford to pay the mortgage
'cause I don't have a job!
I'll sort everything.
No, no. You… you have ruined everything.
You know, you need to, um, pack your bags and your hay,
and… and get out!
Okay? Because you… you don't live here anymore.
I'm gonna miss you guys.
But I've gotta go.
I've messed up big time, okay? I'm gonna put it right.
We're gonna miss you, Beano.
I don't want you to go, Beano. I don't want you to go.
I just brought Kayla and Kayan to say goodbye to the children.
-Have you got a minute? -Uh, okay.
The children are really upset, and what you did to Beano…
What I did to Beano.
When I said education comes in many forms, I didn't just mean the children.
-I meant yours too. -Right.
Learning is for life, not just for Christmas.
The children have learnt so many things here.
They've learnt to knit, to crochet, to sew, to sing, to have courage,
and to belong.
But when you took that school Christmas tree
that the children gave you from the bottom of their hearts
and presented it back to them as some sort of trick,
they felt betrayed.
-That's not what I was trying to do. -You know Violet's star was on that tree?
The one that she made for her mum.
Well, that star got lost in transit,
because you were too busy to do the right thing
and go and cut down that tree in the woods.
Doing the right thing is something we teach children here in Cobbledon.
So you may not appreciate our village school or our village ways
or our village people,
but we care for your children with all our hearts.
And so does Beano.
Maybe there's a lesson for you in that.
Look, I'm sorry, okay? I am sorry that I threw out Beano, but I…
Oh, come on. Look… He's going to be fine, I promise you.
He's from the countryside. The countryside is his home.
This is his home! This is all our homes!
Beano.
Hello, son.
Mum?
Here.
I'm so sorry. I should've told you. I should…
I should've given you the letters and the presents.
Wait. So, you sent everything back to him?
Yes. He'd never turn up at Christmastime.
Your little face waiting. He'd never turn up.
He was upsetting us all the time. I didn't want any more of that.
"Dear son, today will be your seventh birthday,
and I really hope you are happy."
"Dear son, today will be your eighth birthday."
"Soon it will be Christmas."
"Today will be your ninth birthday,
and never a day goes by when I don't wonder how you are."
"Today will be your 11th birthday,
and I've enclosed a little gift for you as it's so close to Christmas."
"I thought that you might like this snow globe."
"Every time you shake it up, I hope that you will think of me."
"Dear Santa, please keep Beano safe, and ask Rudolph to look after him,
and please get Daddy to change his mind."
"And help us spend time with our dad."
"Help him to stop working so we can show him he can be happy again."
Oh no! The animals have escaped!
Someone left the gate open at the top field!
Something's wrong at Mistletoe Farm. I've got the children on the phone.
I'll get the horse, you get the quads.
-Stay as close to me as you can, okay? -Okay!
-Come back!
You left the gate open! Animals have gone onto the road.
What?
Okay, look, we have to find Beano. He can't have got that far.
Okay, come on. Let's do this.
So you see, Miss Fletcher, none of this was Mr. Cunningham's fault.
Has it stopped talking?
Have we finished? Have we quite finished?
Look. He's worked really hard on his pitch.
That's the pitch?
It's not what a pitch looks like on paper but what a pitch has to say that counts.
-Would you like me to read it to you? -Go on then. Entertain me!
Sorry, bit nervous.
Get on with it.
"You're expecting a big, impressive speech."
Yes, we are.
"But I want you to think about the little guy, like Mo."
Hey!
"At Fletcher Consultants, we always look at the big picture."
"We are always thinking global,
but sometimes we miss the things that matter most."
"The people that matter most."
"The butcher."
"The baker."
"The candlestick maker."
"The farmer. The father."
"The cleaner."
"The dreamer."
"The teacher."
"The goat."
"The little people that make up the big picture."
"People like us."
Rural Estates. Doesn't look very rural, does it, Rudolph?
Developers. Developers!
-Developers! -Sorry, no change.
No, no, no, it's me. It's Beano, from Mistletoe Farm.
-Absolutely not. -No, no, no.
No, sir. Absolutely not.
No, I'm here to sell it. I ju…
Are you joking?
Why would we go back to that treacherous place?
I still smell of egg.
Now, listen, Marlon,
what are you doing here listening to this buffoon
after everything he put us through?
None of that was Mr. Cunningham's fault. It was all my fault, and the kids.
We tried to sabotage the farm so you wouldn't buy it.
But look, Mr. Cunningham really wants to sell now. He does.
He signed here.
All you need to do is sign here and here, and the deal is done.
Come on, Rudolph. Well, here you go. It's all yours.
-If we could get the deeds and keys. -Keys, please.
I'm gonna tell the animals you're gonna treat them right.
Uh, sorry, you… He's just gonna tell the… animals.
-Is he okay?
-Mr. B! -Mr. Cunningham!
-Where is everyone? -What?
-Where is everyone? -Who?
-Itsy! -What?
-What's Itsy? -Weenie!
-Who's Weenie? -Mary!
Mary!
Bright! Bright!
Where is everyone? Where is everyone?
Beano! Beano!
-Beano! -Beano!
-Seen Beano? -No.
Sorry, okay, come on.
Beano!
There you are. Who are we looking for?
-We're looking for Itsy, Bitsy… -Teenie and Weenie?
You, Beano! We've been looking for you. Is that my jacket?
-I'm here now. -What are they doing here?
-We bought the farm! -They've signed the contract.
You do not have to live in Cobbledon anymore.
-The farm belongs to them. -I want to live in Cobbledon!
I want to stay here with my children, and you, and… and Miss Ashley.
-What are you talking about? -Beano!
-What's going on? -Beano!
-What? -I know, okay? And I…
I don't have time to explain that now.
The animals have all escaped. My bad. I left the gate open.
-You ignored the country code. -Never mind about that!
We need to find the animals before they get hurt.
-Everybody, quiet!
I can hear bells.
Rudolph. Jingle bells, where?
-The woods.
-To the woods, everyone! The woods!
-Let's go! -Quick!
-To… the woods. -To the woods.
I'm… It's…
Wait a second.
To the woods.
-Jingle! -Jingle!
This way. This way, this way.
Jingle!
Everybody, quiet! Quiet!
The bell.
This way. Well done, Rudolph. This way.
Jingle!
Jingle! Jingle!
Jingle!
Who is Jingle?
Absolutely no idea.
Jingle!
Oh, look, it's Jingle!
Jingle. Well done, Rudolph. You found him. Finally you're a real sheep dog!
Right, I'm going in.
Mr. Cunningham, hold my legs!
Okay, well, everybody, hold on.
Ready. Steady, please.
After three. One… two… three!
-Get back. -Catch him, please!
-Yeah! -We've got him!
Well done, Rudolph.
-Who are you? -I'm Matt's mum.
Nana!
Nana! Shall we?
-Right. -Right.
-Uh, sit. -Sit.
-Ow! -What?
Just go on.
All right, Grumpy? What are you doing here?
Before I retired, I was a lawyer,
and I represented your father, Mr. Cunningham.
I'd like to draw your attention to this special clause in the will.
-What's a special clause? -Is it a Santa Claus?
This special clause stipulates
that the farm cannot be sold under any circumstances
and is only inherited property
if you stay on the farm and sustain it for the years to come.
I'm afraid the farm is not sold
and never can be, as long as the family want to stay here.
We do want to stay here!
I want to stay here forever!
Perhaps you'd like to look through it yourselves.
Let me see this.
Look at this!
-This is just old-fashioned nonsense.
-It's…
-It's, uh…
-Drake. -Yep.
-What? -Yep.
-Okay. -Okay.
Well, I hope you know this has been some serious time-wasting.
-And you! -And you, you!
You! You, you, you, you.
You owe us for dry cleaning and the hospital bills.
Do you have any idea how much pain I was in?
-Would you like me to show you out? -We're going. Keep your stupid farm!
Yeah!
-Out! -Stinks!
-The farm is ours!
Oh, we've got the farm! The farm is ours!
How are we gonna keep it ours?
I think I know a way to keep the farm. Ask the kids about the magic.
He means the mistletoe.
What is it with all this mistletoe business?
It's magic.
Okay. I don't think that mistletoe can be magic, Buster.
Is that…
Oh.
It's the town crier.
For a minute, I thought you were Father Christmas.
I know this is something you might not want to hear,
and it's fine if you can't deal with it right now,
but I brought you some mistletoe
from the fields back there.
Another Christmas gift
to try and make up for all the Christmases I've missed.
Sorry? What? What?
I know it's a shock.
What? Are… are you saying, um…
Hello, son.
How? I… I mean, you left me the farm in your will.
I left you the farm,
but I never said anything about being dead.
And as you can see, I'm alive and well.
Was everybody in on it?
I just wanted to bring my family back together again. I'm so sorry.
Will you take it, son?
It's going to change your life.
Hi, Grandpops.
Oh!
Buster!
How nice to meet you properly at last.
Big day.
The biggest.
It's crazy. I…
I dunno.
What you do know is that everybody loves you.
Especially me.
I'm a very patient person. I mean… Well, I mean, just…
Oh.
Yee-haw! Welcome to this year's Hoedown Snowdown.
Yee-haw!
Ooh!
What are you doing here?
-We bring good news. -What?
-Emblem loved your pitch. -Mm-hm.
How?
Beano came all the way to London and showed us the pitch.
-Mo read it, very well I may add. -Thank you.
They loved it! They loved the whole community aspect of it.
And there was another word…
-Heart. -Heart.
They loved it. Said it had heart.
So I want you to get yourself suited and booted
and get yourself back to London. Get out of this place.
No. I don't really want that job anymore.
But I am glad that you two get to keep yours.
Surely you're not gonna stay here, are you?
-Yee-haw! Say Cobbledon! -Cobbledon!
-Christmas! -Christmas!
-Cobbledon Christmas! -Cobbledon Christmas!
-Ooga-ooga-ooga! -Ooga-ooga-ooga.
-Beano! -Beano!
-Say yes, Beano! -Yes, Beano!
-Stage dive! -Stage dive!
You gon' catch me? You gon' catch me, right?
Here I come!
Woo!
Miss Fletcher, it turns out that kids really do count,
and I want to spend some time with my kids, and my children
and my farmhand, and a very expensive vet,
because I am coming out.
I'm coming out as a farmer.
That's right. I am now one of the village people.
-Oh, wow. -And nothing is gonna stop me!
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Cunningham is now one of the village people.
Let's show him what us village people can do!
Follow me! The baby donkey's being born!
Follow me. Sh.
So donkey number one and donkey number two
made donkey number three.