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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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[upbeat music plays]

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[David] So many people
live their lives making excuses.

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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I refuse to live
in the shadows of, "What if?"

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I want my family to know they have
a son, a brother, a father, and a husband

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that gives it everything he's got.

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Today is the day I step into my destiny.

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This journey is not supposed to be easy.

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It's supposed to be hard.

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It's supposed to be challenging,
because this journey that I walk…

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[crowd cheers, applauds]

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…it ain't for the weak.

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[cheering continues]

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[announcer] Ladies and gentlemen…

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David A. Arnold!

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[cheering intensifies]

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What's up!

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Cleveland, Ohio!

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[chuckles]

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What's happening?

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Have a seat. Have a seat.

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Oh my God.

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Last time we did this
I was at a comedy club.

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This time, we in a theater.

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What the fuck is happening?

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I'm so happy to be outside right now.

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I don't know what to do.

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-Let me tell you something.
-[woman] Welcome home!

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Thank you very much.

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It's good to be back.

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[cheers, applause]

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It's good to come home.
This weather is the bullshit, but…

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[crowd laughs]

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[chuckles] I told my kids-- They from LA.

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They ain't never been out here.

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My daughter has some jeans
with that big-ass hole in it.

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I said, "Let me tell you,
that nine degrees is gonna find your ass."

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Kids don't listen. "I'll be fine."

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When we walked outside--

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When I tell you
her knees locked up on her--

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She was like, "Uh-uh, this shit is…"

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[laughter, applause]

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They called just in time too.

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I've been on tour for the last six months,

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and I've been doing like 20 cities.

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And literally when it was time to go,
it was right on time.

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'Cause I'm telling you, I had to get
the fuck out of that house.

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[David] It was-- I couldn't--

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We've been home forever.
Remember when they said two weeks?

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When they said two weeks, I was like,
"Shit, I can do two weeks."

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I'd talk to my kids, get to see
what kind of people I'm raising.

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[crowd chuckles]

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Listen to my wife's stories
all the way through,

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from the beginning to the end.

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[crowd laughs]

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[laughs] I don't know about you,
but that shit is not easy in my house.

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You ever listen to somebody tell a story
that ain't good at telling stories?

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[crowd laughs]

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Six minutes in you like,
"What the fuck are you talking about?"

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[laughter, applause]

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Thirteen minutes in,
"To make a long story short--"

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No, bitch, we passed a long story short
13 minutes ago.

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[crowd applauds]

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I need you to wrap this shit up.

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[crowd laughs]

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Six weeks in, I started hanging out at
the Whole Foods parking lot near my house.

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[crowd laughs]

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I found out it was just dudes.

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I went by one day,
found out it was just dudes in their cars.

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[crowd chuckles]

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I went by. I said, "What is going on?"
"We just can't be in that house no more."

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Dudes just smoking,
looking out the car window.

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"I'll kill somebody
if I go back in there."

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[chuckles]

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We not supposed to be together like that.

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Remember we was together all day,
every day?

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We not supposed to be together like that.

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Remember you would wake up like,
"This is it all fucking day"?

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[crowd chuckles]

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We supposed to be together
about 10 hours a day,

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and for eight of them,
we supposed to be asleep, understand?

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[laughter, applause]

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[chuckles] That leaves two hours a day
to destroy this relationship,

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if that's what we gonna do.

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[crowd chuckles]

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My first week out on the road,
my wife Julie texts me:

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"Do you miss us?"

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[chuckles]

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[whinges] "Gotta be honest with you…"

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[crowd chuckles]

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I'm fine, okay?"

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[crowd laughs]

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[chuckles] You live at home--

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First, if you live at home with anybody,
you were on each other's nerves.

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Everything was getting
on each other's nerves.

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Like, if you live with somebody,
you can't just go about your business,

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without somebody needing some shit
every time.

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Every time I get up. "You going to
the kitchen? Where you going?"

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[crowd laughs]

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"I'm just getting the remote."

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"Hand me that magazine."
"Why you always need some shit?"

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Every time I get up, she wants me to bring
her some shit, take something back.

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Get your own shit!

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Let me live in here. You understand?

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Goddamn it. [laughs]

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Me and my wife have sat on the couch
and tried to out-wait each other.

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[crowd laughs]

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Because nobody wanna get up,

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'cause they know whoever get up
got to bring the other person some shit.

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We have almost peed on ourselves.
You understand?

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[crowd cheers]

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[chuckles] Like,
"I swear I'll piss all over this couch

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before I bring you another goddamn thing."

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"I swear."

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[applause]

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[crowd chuckles]

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My wife is a huge water drinker.
Anybody else drink--?

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I'm talking about
carrying a personal bottle--

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-Yeah, we don't like you. Okay?
-[laughter]

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First of all, water drinkers always think
everybody else want water too.

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"Anybody need water?"
"No! Just you."

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"You're the only one."

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"We're going to the grocery store, they
got a whole aisle of water if we need it."

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My wife can-- Julie carries water
everywhere she goes.

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She never forgets this water,

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till we go upstairs
to go to bed every night.

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Every single night
starts the same way at my house.

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[sighs]

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[crowd chuckles]

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What?

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[smacks lips, sighs]

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"I think I forgot my water."

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[crowd chuckles]

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Why you doing this? Why you--?
Ain't no water in your pajamas.

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[crowd yells]

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Then she gets passive aggressive.
"If you find yourself downstairs,

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maybe you can bring me some water."

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Who finds theyself downstairs?

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When was the last time you went to go pee

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and go, "Oh shit,
I found myself downstairs"?

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[crowd chuckles]

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"Guess I'll get Julie's water
since I'm downstairs."

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Get your own shit!

145
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[spectator] Yes!

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[crowd chuckles]

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We was on each other's nerves.
Arguing-- Hey, lemme tell you.

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We be arguing.

149
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Me and my wife argue every day.

150
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Every day. It don't be no blow out.
But every day we stop and square up.

151
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Like, "What's it gonna be?
You want this smoke, or what?"

152
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And that's her talking to me, every day.

153
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[crowd laughs]

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I'm afraid of her!

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[chuckles] We argue. Me and my wife argue.
You know how long we been together?

156
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We will argue in front of you,

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talking about you,

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and we don't give a fuck that you there.

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[crowd chuckles]

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You ever be out with a couple,
they be arguing?

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You be like, "This is getting personal.
Should we go?"

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I'm like, "I told you
I didn't want to eat with them,

163
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but you got me out here anyway."

164
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"So fuck it, Julie, let's eat." That's it.

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[crowd laughs, applauds]

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We argue because we know
you can't just be--

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We've been in this house too long.
We been together too long.

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Me and my wife have been together
long enough that we both agree

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that we both do not equally give a fuck
what the other person is talking about.

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[crowd laughs]

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Do you know how long
you gotta be married to agree?

172
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I was talking to her,

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and in the middle of my speech
she just walked the fuck out the room.

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[crowd laughs]

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She didn't make no announcement,
she just walked off.

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I wasn't offended.
Like, that's about right.

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She should've left ten minutes ago,
I'm not gonna lie.

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[crowd chuckles]

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A lot of relationships
didn't make this little pandemic.

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Some of y'all was in relationships
that didn't work out.

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You realize, "I don't want to be
with this person no more."

182
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One of my boys, he left his whole family.

183
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[crowd laughs]

184
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When I tell you he went outside
and never came back.

185
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You know how you check the mail?

186
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You don't make no announcement
when you check the mail.

187
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You just go check the mail.

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He went outside and we have not
seen his ass since that day.

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[crowd chuckles]

190
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Here's the thing.
When you leave a family,

191
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I would think a part of leaving a family

192
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is to disappear
and never to be heard from again.

193
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Not this dude.
Every time I text him, he texts me back.

194
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:02,982
[crowd laughs]

195
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I was like, "Where are you?"

196
00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:06,152
"Gone." "What? Who--?"

197
00:08:06,235 --> 00:08:07,111
[crowd laughs]

198
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:09,155
I was like, "Are you coming back?" "No."

199
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[chuckles] I said,
"Who the fuck walks out on they family

200
00:08:12,533 --> 00:08:15,369
and texts your friends from the past?
Who does that?"

201
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[crowd chuckles]

202
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Every time I left the house
for three months after that,

203
00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:21,501
my wife's like, "Where you going?"

204
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[chuckles] I'm like, "Don't you worry,
I'm coming back."

205
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"I ain't leaving my shit in here."

206
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'Cause my boy, he left, he had a--

207
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He had a huge shoe collection,
like $25,000 worth of shoes.

208
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He left all that shit.
He didn't go back and get shit.

209
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You understand how done you gotta be
to leave all your shit?

210
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You out right now, dawg.
Bam, that's the outfit.

211
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Imagine shit at your house is so bad

212
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that you go,
"This outfit is enough to start over."

213
00:08:46,567 --> 00:08:48,027
"Fuck everything at that house."

214
00:08:48,110 --> 00:08:48,945
[crowd laughs]

215
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I don't need my glasses, my ID.
I don't need none of that shit.

216
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I'll go to the DMV
than go back there and with her again.

217
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That's what it was.

218
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I told my wife, "If I leave, I'm getting
all my shit and half of yours."

219
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:02,083
"You understand?"

220
00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:03,292
[crowd chuckles]

221
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,795
[chuckles] Ain't nobody doing none
of that shit.

222
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:09,298
'Cause I know where I'm at.
I know where I'm at in my life to--

223
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:11,759
I'm at that perfect midlife crisis age.

224
00:09:11,842 --> 00:09:13,386
You know, I'm at that age now.

225
00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:14,679
Especially in Hollywood.

226
00:09:14,762 --> 00:09:17,181
You're at that age
where you drop off your first wife,

227
00:09:17,265 --> 00:09:19,392
you pick up a young second wife,

228
00:09:19,892 --> 00:09:21,936
ride her out the rest of her days.

229
00:09:22,019 --> 00:09:22,937
[crowd chuckles]

230
00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:26,440
[chuckles] Look at all the women,
it proved time for you to get dropped off.

231
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:27,650
Look at your faces.

232
00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:29,735
[crowd laughs]

233
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:33,906
You know? And this is the thing,
like, in theory, it sounds great.

234
00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,992
It sounds fun. Something new, fun.

235
00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:39,036
But in reality, you'll have to do
the same shit with this new one

236
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,413
that you did with the first.

237
00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:42,873
Ain't no new shit happening.

238
00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:44,792
You understanding?
Nothing new this time.

239
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I'm gonna have the same conversations.

240
00:09:47,211 --> 00:09:50,256
If I get young wife,
I gotta have a baby with the young wife.

241
00:09:50,339 --> 00:09:52,800
She got to have
the same shit the first wife had.

242
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She'll be like, "Y'all got a baby.
We ain't got nothing."

243
00:09:55,886 --> 00:09:58,055
"I wanna see one, blah, blah, blah…"

244
00:09:58,139 --> 00:09:59,682
-That shit.
-[crowd chuckles]

245
00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:04,353
Now I'm in my oldest daughter's wedding.
I got a six-month-old on my lap. I'm 68.

246
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:05,896
I'm sleepy as shit.

247
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:07,356
[crowd laughs]

248
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,066
[chuckles] That don't sound fun.

249
00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:11,986
[crowd laughs]

250
00:10:12,069 --> 00:10:13,529
[applause]

251
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:17,491
One of my boys-- Couple of my friends,
they, you know, left they first wives.

252
00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:19,118
They married to young wives now,

253
00:10:19,201 --> 00:10:22,038
their second wives,
15 years younger than them, easy.

254
00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:25,082
One of my boys just celebrated
his third wedding anniversary.

255
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:27,168
Him and his wife.

256
00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:29,503
You know, she's 15 years younger than me.

257
00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:30,671
He's my age.

258
00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:33,924
Picture of them at the-- A video of them
at the party dancing.

259
00:10:34,508 --> 00:10:36,385
She dancing her ass off.

260
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:37,386
[laughter]

261
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:38,888
This motherfucker's struggling.

262
00:10:39,597 --> 00:10:43,434
[crowd roars with laughter]

263
00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:46,062
[chuckles] He's making all them
old-man dance faces.

264
00:10:46,145 --> 00:10:47,772
[crowd laughs]

265
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:50,232
[chuckles]

266
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:53,027
I called him, I said,
"Nigga, take the video down."

267
00:10:53,110 --> 00:10:54,028
[crowd laughs]

268
00:10:54,111 --> 00:10:55,988
"You look like you struggling,

269
00:10:56,072 --> 00:10:57,490
take it down now."

270
00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:01,035
[chuckles] I'm not doing
none of that shit.

271
00:11:01,118 --> 00:11:02,244
[crowd chuckles]

272
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:04,121
I'm about to sit there with my wife,

273
00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:06,957
we about to sit there,
eat Doritos and fall apart together.

274
00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:08,292
That's what we about to do.

275
00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:10,753
Not doing none of that.

276
00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:12,838
[crowd applauds]

277
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:17,802
We trying to get these kids out.
That's what we gotta do.

278
00:11:17,885 --> 00:11:19,970
You want some freshness
in your relationship,

279
00:11:20,054 --> 00:11:21,764
get them kids out your life.

280
00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:24,392
I got two, a 14 and 16-year-old.

281
00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:27,770
Let me tell you something, these--
First of all, these new kids,

282
00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:31,857
they the most entitled group of people
that I've ever met in my life.

283
00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:33,442
-You hear me?
-[crowd applauds]

284
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:34,860
But here's the thing,

285
00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:38,239
I know they're like this
because we made them like this.

286
00:11:38,322 --> 00:11:39,198
My kids is like--

287
00:11:39,281 --> 00:11:41,701
Because everybody wants to
do better for they kids

288
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:43,452
than they think was done for them.

289
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,788
Then I thought about it,
"I came up pretty good."

290
00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:48,416
So, what is the goal here?
What am I trying to do?

291
00:11:48,499 --> 00:11:50,167
[crowd laughs]

292
00:11:50,751 --> 00:11:53,003
This is how I know
that I was doing too much.

293
00:11:53,087 --> 00:11:55,214
My daughter Anna Grace just turned 16.

294
00:11:55,297 --> 00:11:57,508
She calls me, says, "I wanna talk to you."

295
00:11:57,591 --> 00:11:58,426
[chuckles]

296
00:11:58,509 --> 00:12:00,386
I never said shit like that to my father.

297
00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:01,303
[laughter]

298
00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:04,014
Matter of fact, I prefer we didn't talk,
to be honest.

299
00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:07,059
She's like, "I'd like to talk.
I'm turning 16."

300
00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:09,895
"I want to talk to you
about the type of car I'd like."

301
00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:12,773
[chuckles]

302
00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:13,816
[crowd chuckles]

303
00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:16,277
I was like, "I want to hear
what you think you got coming."

304
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:17,945
[crowd laughs]

305
00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:20,573
She said,
"I've had my eye on the G-Wagon."

306
00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:23,492
[crowd chuckles]

307
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,745
"What the fuck
do you think is happening here,

308
00:12:26,495 --> 00:12:30,082
that a G-Wagon is anywhere in your future?
You understand?"

309
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:33,169
What makes you think
you gonna get a $100,000 car?

310
00:12:33,252 --> 00:12:34,086
[crowd laughs]

311
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:38,132
Julie normally defends what the kids say.
Julie heard this, this pissed her off.

312
00:12:38,215 --> 00:12:41,135
She like, "Hold up. I'm fucking him
and I ain't got no G-Wagon."

313
00:12:41,218 --> 00:12:43,888
"You're definitely
not getting no G-Wagon."

314
00:12:43,971 --> 00:12:45,931
[crowd laughs, applauds]

315
00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:48,851
"You're getting a '98 Corolla.
Get the fuck out of here."

316
00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:50,311
[crowd roars]

317
00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:54,356
What makes you think
you gonna get a G-Wagon?

318
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,066
They've been given everything.

319
00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:58,903
This is the generation
of giving them every fucking thing.

320
00:12:58,986 --> 00:13:03,157
It's the participation trophy generation.
That's what's-- Let me tell you something.

321
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:05,701
You got them participation trophies
in your house?

322
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:08,162
Your kids gonna not be shit. You hear me?

323
00:13:08,245 --> 00:13:09,079
[crowd applauds]

324
00:13:09,163 --> 00:13:11,499
I'm telling you that's bullshit.

325
00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:14,126
That-- That whole thing of,
"Everybody's a winner!"

326
00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:15,544
No, the fuck they're not.

327
00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:18,130
I know some losers in my life.

328
00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:22,051
And I work way too hard
to be grouped in with these motherfuckers.

329
00:13:22,551 --> 00:13:26,305
That part-- Why should the winner
walk away with the same shit as the loser?

330
00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:27,264
Tell me that.

331
00:13:27,348 --> 00:13:29,642
What we teaching them?
Everybody's a winner. No!

332
00:13:29,725 --> 00:13:32,102
Ain't no participation home loan, is it?

333
00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:33,979
[crowd laughs]

334
00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:35,981
When's the last time the bank was like,

335
00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:38,776
"We know your credit ain't shit
and your income is bad,

336
00:13:38,859 --> 00:13:41,195
but at this bank everybody's a winner."

337
00:13:41,278 --> 00:13:42,238
[crowd laughs]

338
00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:46,325
[chuckles] "Here's your loan. Good luck!"
Get the fuck out of here. That ain't real!

339
00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:49,912
They got participation trophies,
certificates.

340
00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:53,499
They love giving out certificates
to these kids, that's they favorite.

341
00:13:53,582 --> 00:13:55,668
My daughter came home one time
in third grade--

342
00:13:55,751 --> 00:13:59,839
Ashlyn came home with a certificate
for volunteering at school.

343
00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:03,092
Framed it and put it on the wall
next to her mama's degree.

344
00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:04,677
-Proud!
-[crowd laughs]

345
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:07,513
I was like,
"If you don't get this shit out of here--"

346
00:14:07,596 --> 00:14:09,473
"Hard as your mama
worked for this degree,

347
00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:14,019
you gonna hang up a certificate
for passing out straws on juice box day?"

348
00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:16,063
[crowd roars, applauds]

349
00:14:16,146 --> 00:14:18,190
We're not doing none of that shit.

350
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:19,817
[crowd laughs]

351
00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:24,071
Always got a certificate,
always got a participation trophy.

352
00:14:24,154 --> 00:14:26,782
The problem is the playground is too soft.

353
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:29,368
That's the problem.
The playground is way too--

354
00:14:29,451 --> 00:14:31,996
When I came up,
the playground was made of asphalt.

355
00:14:32,079 --> 00:14:33,080
[crowd chuckles]

356
00:14:33,163 --> 00:14:37,167
Playground was made of concrete,
it was glass on the playground.

357
00:14:37,251 --> 00:14:41,130
You would fall, bust your knee,
bleed, get up, keep going and play again.

358
00:14:41,213 --> 00:14:42,131
[crowd applauds]

359
00:14:42,214 --> 00:14:45,968
Have you been to a playground today?
Especially in these nice neighborhoods.

360
00:14:46,051 --> 00:14:48,971
-The ground is a sponge.
-[crowd laughs]

361
00:14:49,054 --> 00:14:54,059
They have changed the fabric of the earth
to protect these bitch-ass kids.

362
00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:58,689
[crowd roars, applauds]

363
00:14:58,772 --> 00:15:02,860
And now they're just skipping through life
like shit is great.

364
00:15:02,943 --> 00:15:05,154
Just, "Oh, my God!"

365
00:15:05,237 --> 00:15:06,488
[crowd chuckles]

366
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:08,198
That shit ain't real!

367
00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:09,366
[crowd laughs]

368
00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:11,076
[chuckles] None of this is real.

369
00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:14,747
But that's what you do.
I grew up in the '80s.

370
00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:18,125
I grew up in the '80s,
I know it was some bullshit in the '80s.

371
00:15:18,208 --> 00:15:19,793
We did a lot that wasn't right,

372
00:15:19,877 --> 00:15:22,546
but my job is to find
the life lessons that worked,

373
00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:25,424
pull that through
and leave the bullshit behind.

374
00:15:25,507 --> 00:15:27,676
That's my job,
and I do that with my kids now.

375
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,429
Because I need them
to have that thing inside of them.

376
00:15:30,512 --> 00:15:32,348
That's what I tell my kids all the time.

377
00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:36,185
You gotta have that thing that's gonna
make you fight through when it get hard.

378
00:15:36,268 --> 00:15:37,603
'Cause it's gonna get hard.

379
00:15:37,686 --> 00:15:39,563
You understand? Life gonna come for you.

380
00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:43,192
I don't give a fuck about how great
you was in high school and college.

381
00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:44,568
You got to have that thing.

382
00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:47,947
I graduated from school
at the bottom of my class.

383
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:49,114
Do you understand?

384
00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:53,285
On the program, it was my name
and the nigga who printed the programs.

385
00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:55,037
[crowd laughs, applauds]

386
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:57,998
You couldn't get
no further down than this.

387
00:15:58,832 --> 00:16:01,502
But I got that thing inside of me,

388
00:16:01,585 --> 00:16:04,672
and I've been looking for that thing
from my kids.

389
00:16:04,755 --> 00:16:10,469
[crowd cheers, applauds]

390
00:16:10,552 --> 00:16:12,638
I need you to have that thing.

391
00:16:12,721 --> 00:16:14,056
And I try to do stuff.

392
00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:16,642
You know? I tried.
My kids were playing volleyball.

393
00:16:16,725 --> 00:16:20,646
We did the little participation trophy
volleyball for a long time.

394
00:16:20,729 --> 00:16:23,816
After a while, I started to see them
get a false sense of theyself.

395
00:16:23,899 --> 00:16:25,192
Right? "I don't like this."

396
00:16:25,275 --> 00:16:28,278
"If we gonna keep playing,
we gonna play some real sports."

397
00:16:28,362 --> 00:16:30,656
So I took them
and we played club volleyball.

398
00:16:30,739 --> 00:16:34,994
I don't know if you know anything about
club sports, but it's two things, right?

399
00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:37,579
Very expensive, very competitive.

400
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:38,831
And when I say expensive,

401
00:16:38,914 --> 00:16:42,543
I mean thousands of dollars
to other states' hotel rooms

402
00:16:42,626 --> 00:16:44,128
watching you play expensive.

403
00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:46,922
And if I'm dropping thousands
to watch you play,

404
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:49,633
I need you to fucking try, you understand?

405
00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:52,177
[crowd applauds]

406
00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:54,763
I remember this. Anna Grace
was about 13 years old,

407
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:56,807
we took her to go play in club.

408
00:16:56,890 --> 00:16:58,517
And she went to Vegas, right.

409
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:00,269
Up there to play in a tournament.

410
00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:03,105
Immediately when she got on the court,
I saw she saw

411
00:17:03,188 --> 00:17:05,274
this ain't participation volleyball.

412
00:17:05,774 --> 00:17:08,277
'Cause these girls
had that look in they eye.

413
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:10,320
Balls coming… Kiah! Kiah! Kiah!

414
00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:12,948
I see her confidence starting to flutter.

415
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,283
I don't like that.

416
00:17:14,366 --> 00:17:16,035
Ball went by her, she went, "Uh."

417
00:17:16,118 --> 00:17:17,703
I said, "Motherfucker!"

418
00:17:17,786 --> 00:17:18,954
[crowd laughs]

419
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,999
You ever been so angry
you feel that heat in your chest?

420
00:17:22,082 --> 00:17:24,460
I'm in front of the stands
where the parents sit,

421
00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:26,587
I'm pacing, looking at Anna Grace.

422
00:17:26,670 --> 00:17:28,464
Julie's like, "Maybe you should sit."

423
00:17:28,547 --> 00:17:32,384
I said, "Shut up, Julie. I didn't spend
all this money to come up here and she…"

424
00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:34,636
"I'll kill everybody
in this motherfucker."

425
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:38,182
[crowd laughs, applauds]

426
00:17:38,265 --> 00:17:40,392
My wife thought that was
the worst thing to say.

427
00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:42,436
"How could you say that?"
"Are you kidding?"

428
00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:45,522
"My father said that shit to us
once a week growing up."

429
00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:46,482
[crowd laughs]

430
00:17:46,565 --> 00:17:47,483
Every week we heard,

431
00:17:47,566 --> 00:17:49,818
"I'll kill everybody
in this motherfucker!"

432
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:51,987
"And then I'll kill myself!"

433
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:54,156
-I said, "Wait a minute!"
-[crowd laughs]

434
00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:56,992
"We all gotta die
because of the black cherry Kool-Aid?"

435
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,994
"What is wrong with this nigga?"

436
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:01,246
[crowd laughs, applauds]

437
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:05,334
I never understood that kind of anger
until right now.

438
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:08,712
I'm looking at Anna Grace
as she's trying to look forward,

439
00:18:08,796 --> 00:18:10,881
like she don't see me staring at her.

440
00:18:10,964 --> 00:18:14,551
But I know she feel that heat
on the side of her face.

441
00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:16,136
[crowd chuckles]

442
00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:17,346
We made eye contact,

443
00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:20,140
I'm like, "I'm gonna bust your ass
as soon as this is over."

444
00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:25,062
[crowd chuckles]

445
00:18:25,145 --> 00:18:29,525
We got in the car, we argued four and
a half hours back to LA from Vegas.

446
00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:30,901
"You're not trying." "I am."

447
00:18:30,984 --> 00:18:32,986
"You're not.
I know what trying looks like--"

448
00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:35,114
[speaks gibberish]

449
00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:36,240
[crowd titters]

450
00:18:36,323 --> 00:18:38,742
That's how it sounds
when you argue with a teenage girl.

451
00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:39,827
[speaks gibberish]

452
00:18:39,910 --> 00:18:41,662
[crowd chuckles]

453
00:18:41,745 --> 00:18:43,580
Long story short, she quit.

454
00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:45,415
[crowd laughs]

455
00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:47,417
[chuckles]

456
00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:49,545
[crowd titters]

457
00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:51,213
This is what I've learned.

458
00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:55,467
When you have an opinion in your family
that is not popular,

459
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:58,220
eventually, you have to let it go.

460
00:18:58,303 --> 00:19:02,516
Because no matter what your point is,
they will eventually blame it on you.

461
00:19:03,016 --> 00:19:07,104
Because my point is we don't quit,
we finish what we start,

462
00:19:07,187 --> 00:19:09,022
we push through, no matter what.

463
00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:10,983
I think that's a pretty good lesson.

464
00:19:11,066 --> 00:19:14,111
But they've turned it into,
"Your energy is bad, Daddy!"

465
00:19:14,611 --> 00:19:16,530
"It's bringing down the house. It's bad--"

466
00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:18,657
This is the generation of sound bites.

467
00:19:18,740 --> 00:19:23,287
It's, "You're body shaming
and, and, and it's emotionally abusive…"

468
00:19:23,370 --> 00:19:24,538
[speaks gibberish]

469
00:19:24,621 --> 00:19:27,249
[crowd chuckles]

470
00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:29,168
"You know what's emotionally abusive?"

471
00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:31,587
"Dropping 3,500 in Vegas
watching you go, 'Uh.'"

472
00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:33,297
"That's fucking abusive."

473
00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:34,631
[crowd laughs, cheers]

474
00:19:34,715 --> 00:19:38,051
[crowd applauds]

475
00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:40,637
Three years went by,
Anna Grace ain't done shit.

476
00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:41,597
[crowd chuckles]

477
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:43,849
Finally went to a new private school.

478
00:19:43,932 --> 00:19:47,769
They said to go to the school,
you need to, you know, pick an elective.

479
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:51,481
Do something, get involved.
I said, "Anna Grace, pick something."

480
00:19:51,565 --> 00:19:52,566
"I don't want to."

481
00:19:52,649 --> 00:19:54,234
I said, "If you don't, I'll pick."

482
00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:57,070
"You're not gonna go to school
and TikTok all goddamn day."

483
00:19:57,154 --> 00:19:58,155
[crowd laughs]

484
00:19:58,238 --> 00:20:00,574
She didn't pick nothing,
I picked it for her.

485
00:20:00,657 --> 00:20:02,868
This is another thing that I've learned.

486
00:20:02,951 --> 00:20:05,412
When I'm going to make
announcements to my family

487
00:20:05,495 --> 00:20:07,915
that I know are going to be unpopular,

488
00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:09,374
I do it in public.

489
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:10,542
[crowd titters]

490
00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:14,046
Because I know they can only act so crazy
with a bunch of people around

491
00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:16,048
We were eating a nice brunch,

492
00:20:16,131 --> 00:20:19,384
and in the middle of it I said,
"Anna Grace, I've made a decision."

493
00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:22,930
"You're going back to play volleyball."
She lost it. "I don't wanna play!"

494
00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:25,724
She yells out,
"My volleyball days are over!"

495
00:20:25,807 --> 00:20:30,145
Like she's 49 with bad knees
and just can't do it no more.

496
00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:32,689
Her younger sister Ashlyn,
my 14-year-old--

497
00:20:32,773 --> 00:20:36,318
Ashlyn is the protester
and the feminist of the family.

498
00:20:36,401 --> 00:20:39,071
She comes to
her sister's defense immediately.

499
00:20:39,154 --> 00:20:41,865
"Daddy, you cannot make her.
She is a woman, you are a man."

500
00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:44,785
"A man will not tell a woman--
We will be heard, we'll march--"

501
00:20:44,868 --> 00:20:47,329
I said, "If you don't
shut your ass up, Angela Davis--"

502
00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:48,538
"Nobody asked you shit."

503
00:20:48,622 --> 00:20:52,000
[crowd laughs, applauds]

504
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,503
I said, "Anna Grace,
they got three days of tryouts."

505
00:20:54,586 --> 00:20:57,589
"We'll take you, you gonna try,
and I don't wanna hear nothing."

506
00:20:57,673 --> 00:21:00,008
Three days go by,
Anna Grace goes to try out.

507
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:02,719
-For three days, she ain't talking to us.
-[crowd titters]

508
00:21:02,803 --> 00:21:06,139
I love how they think
that not talking to me hurts me.

509
00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:07,349
[crowd chuckles]

510
00:21:07,432 --> 00:21:10,143
I personally rather like it,
you understand?

511
00:21:10,227 --> 00:21:13,480
'Cause I know, for three days,
you ain't going to be asking me for shit.

512
00:21:13,563 --> 00:21:14,439
[crowd chuckles]

513
00:21:14,523 --> 00:21:15,816
On the third day,

514
00:21:16,316 --> 00:21:19,194
we get a text from Anna Grace
on the family chat thread.

515
00:21:19,695 --> 00:21:21,154
This, this is what it said.

516
00:21:21,989 --> 00:21:23,573
"Holy shit, parents."

517
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:24,700
[crowd titters]

518
00:21:24,783 --> 00:21:29,496
"I made JV, I'm so excited."
Emoji heart exclaim.

519
00:21:30,622 --> 00:21:31,456
Now…

520
00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:36,628
David, that was raised
by Barbara and Eddie in the '80s…

521
00:21:36,712 --> 00:21:37,629
[crowd titters]

522
00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:41,383
…locked in on the sentence
that said "holy shit."

523
00:21:41,466 --> 00:21:43,802
[laughter, applause]

524
00:21:43,885 --> 00:21:46,513
I'm thinking
who the fuck are you talking to?

525
00:21:46,596 --> 00:21:47,431
[crowd screams]

526
00:21:47,514 --> 00:21:49,850
Since when do you
start cussing at your family?

527
00:21:50,434 --> 00:21:53,478
But the David that's trying
to move us forward

528
00:21:53,562 --> 00:21:57,232
locked in on the
"I'm so excited emoji heart exclaim"

529
00:21:57,316 --> 00:22:02,237
because I'm hoping she'll take that moment
and connect it back to three weeks earlier

530
00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:05,198
when she yelled out,
"My volleyball days are over!"

531
00:22:05,282 --> 00:22:08,702
And she'll realize that if you
push through a little bit of adversity,

532
00:22:08,785 --> 00:22:10,912
you might find some success
on the other side.

533
00:22:10,996 --> 00:22:12,706
This is what I need her to know.

534
00:22:12,789 --> 00:22:13,623
[crowd cheers]

535
00:22:20,255 --> 00:22:23,342
Anna Grace is six inches taller
than she was last time she played.

536
00:22:23,425 --> 00:22:24,926
I got a chance to see her play

537
00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:27,262
when I started touring
about six months ago.

538
00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:28,513
The girl is playing.

539
00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:30,307
Blocking, spiking, like in the game.

540
00:22:30,390 --> 00:22:36,563
I'm watching her self-esteem rise
while she's on the court playing.

541
00:22:37,147 --> 00:22:40,650
Game is over. She gives me a hug.
"Daddy, thank you for making me do this."

542
00:22:40,734 --> 00:22:44,905
I said, "I'm your father. It's my job
to see what you don't, you understand?"

543
00:22:44,988 --> 00:22:48,158
"You gotta remember something,
no matter what, I always got you."

544
00:22:48,241 --> 00:22:50,118
"You understand? Because I love you."

545
00:22:50,786 --> 00:22:51,703
I said…

546
00:22:51,787 --> 00:22:55,290
[crowd applauds, cheers]

547
00:22:55,374 --> 00:22:58,668
"But if you ever cuss at me
on the text again…"

548
00:22:58,752 --> 00:22:59,795
[crowd laughs]

549
00:22:59,878 --> 00:23:02,631
"I'll kill everybody in this motherfucker.
You hear me?"

550
00:23:02,714 --> 00:23:04,716
[crowd applauds]

551
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:07,844
Gotta pull the life lesson through,
leave the bullshit behind.

552
00:23:07,928 --> 00:23:08,804
That's what I do.

553
00:23:08,887 --> 00:23:10,972
I do stuff for them
even when I don't want to

554
00:23:11,056 --> 00:23:13,100
because sometimes I learn shit about me.

555
00:23:13,183 --> 00:23:16,603
They wanted a dog. I don't want no dog.
You understand? Dogs--

556
00:23:16,686 --> 00:23:20,107
First of all, dogs got different lives
than they had when I came up.

557
00:23:20,190 --> 00:23:24,569
You new dog owners, y'all doing too much.
I'm telling you that right now.

558
00:23:24,653 --> 00:23:26,655
You got them in the grocery store,

559
00:23:26,738 --> 00:23:30,325
you're walking around with 'em and shit
in little bags.

560
00:23:30,409 --> 00:23:33,412
I flew here first class
with a poodle next to me,

561
00:23:33,495 --> 00:23:35,122
looking at me like, "Why you here?"

562
00:23:35,205 --> 00:23:37,332
No, bitch, what the fuck you doing here?

563
00:23:37,416 --> 00:23:38,250
[crowd laughs]

564
00:23:38,333 --> 00:23:40,252
Y'all got your mouth in they mouth.

565
00:23:40,335 --> 00:23:42,295
"Oh, my God, I love you so much."

566
00:23:42,379 --> 00:23:45,006
But you won't get the vaccine.
But this right here--

567
00:23:45,090 --> 00:23:47,717
[crowd cheers, applauds]

568
00:23:47,801 --> 00:23:50,220
But this, "I don't want that in my body."

569
00:23:50,303 --> 00:23:53,432
"But my dog who's been licking his balls
all day, that's okay."

570
00:23:53,515 --> 00:23:55,809
[speaks gibberish]
Get the fuck out of here.

571
00:23:55,892 --> 00:23:58,270
[crowd chuckles]

572
00:23:58,353 --> 00:24:01,231
I was like, why? Why would I want a dog?
Know what I mean?

573
00:24:01,314 --> 00:24:02,899
Like, I had dog coming up.

574
00:24:02,983 --> 00:24:05,694
Then it hit me, I went… [gasps]
"I had a dog coming up,

575
00:24:05,777 --> 00:24:07,112
and it was horrible."

576
00:24:07,696 --> 00:24:11,700
One of my biggest childhood pains
is connected to one of my dogs.

577
00:24:11,783 --> 00:24:14,119
When I grew up--
I grew up here in Cleveland, Ohio.

578
00:24:14,202 --> 00:24:15,495
I was about eight years old.

579
00:24:15,579 --> 00:24:19,583
And I was standing in the doorway,
dog was outside on the tree lawn peeing.

580
00:24:19,666 --> 00:24:24,212
Outside, a car pulls up, opens the door,
grabs the dog, drives away.

581
00:24:24,296 --> 00:24:25,255
[crowd groans]

582
00:24:25,338 --> 00:24:26,214
I said, "What?"

583
00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:28,467
[crowd laughs]

584
00:24:28,550 --> 00:24:30,469
I said, "Dad, they got the dog!"

585
00:24:30,552 --> 00:24:31,470
[crowd laughs]

586
00:24:31,553 --> 00:24:35,098
[chuckles] This is all my father had
to give me in this horrible moment

587
00:24:35,182 --> 00:24:36,016
in my life.

588
00:24:36,099 --> 00:24:37,309
He went, "Aw!"

589
00:24:39,186 --> 00:24:42,772
[crowd laughs, applauds]

590
00:24:42,856 --> 00:24:44,274
[crowd cheers]

591
00:24:44,357 --> 00:24:45,775
"All right. Come in the house."

592
00:24:45,859 --> 00:24:47,319
I said, "Wait a minute!"

593
00:24:47,402 --> 00:24:48,778
[crowd titters]

594
00:24:48,862 --> 00:24:51,740
I was like, "You're not gonna do shit?"
Now he's mad at me.

595
00:24:51,823 --> 00:24:54,743
"What the fuck you want me to do, David?
The dog is gone!"

596
00:24:55,243 --> 00:24:58,580
I said, "Goddamn, we're not
supposed to care about these dogs!"

597
00:24:58,663 --> 00:25:00,040
[crowd laughs]

598
00:25:00,123 --> 00:25:02,501
For years this haunted me.

599
00:25:02,584 --> 00:25:06,463
I came up in a time when you didn't
talk to your parents about your feelings.

600
00:25:06,546 --> 00:25:07,839
You just processed that shit

601
00:25:07,923 --> 00:25:09,925
through your own
little eight-year-old mind.

602
00:25:10,008 --> 00:25:12,677
And for years I would
run it through my head like,

603
00:25:12,761 --> 00:25:17,224
I understand why he came out
and looked that way…

604
00:25:17,307 --> 00:25:18,308
[crowd titters]

605
00:25:18,391 --> 00:25:20,185
…because that's the way they drove off.

606
00:25:20,268 --> 00:25:22,270
[crowd laughs]

607
00:25:24,606 --> 00:25:26,525
What the fuck you looking back here for?

608
00:25:26,608 --> 00:25:27,734
[crowd laughs]

609
00:25:27,817 --> 00:25:30,779
You thought they were gonna
go around the block with the car

610
00:25:30,862 --> 00:25:33,907
and come back with the dog,
"There you go, I was fucking with you."

611
00:25:33,990 --> 00:25:35,242
[crowd laughs]

612
00:25:35,325 --> 00:25:38,954
[crowd chuckles]

613
00:25:39,037 --> 00:25:41,665
And what's crazy about it
is no matter what you do,

614
00:25:41,748 --> 00:25:43,708
you end up being just like them.

615
00:25:44,626 --> 00:25:47,337
Just like them.
You will say the same shit they say

616
00:25:47,420 --> 00:25:49,548
because it's the only template you have.

617
00:25:49,631 --> 00:25:51,883
Even when you think,
"I'm not gonna be like that,"

618
00:25:51,967 --> 00:25:55,470
I find myself saying the same shit
I heard my whole life coming up.

619
00:25:55,554 --> 00:25:57,389
The thing about it, I was raised--

620
00:25:57,472 --> 00:26:02,394
I have three very strong, influential men
in my life that raised me.

621
00:26:02,477 --> 00:26:04,729
And all of them, while very different,

622
00:26:04,813 --> 00:26:09,276
were very instrumental in making me
have that thing that I have inside of me.

623
00:26:09,776 --> 00:26:11,903
My stepfather,

624
00:26:11,987 --> 00:26:13,989
my dad,

625
00:26:14,072 --> 00:26:15,198
and my grandfather.

626
00:26:15,699 --> 00:26:18,535
All of them very different,
but very instrumental.

627
00:26:18,618 --> 00:26:22,163
My grandfather was the guy that I watched

628
00:26:22,247 --> 00:26:27,335
put our entire family through college
with an eighth-grade education.

629
00:26:28,420 --> 00:26:29,254
Yes.

630
00:26:29,337 --> 00:26:32,966
[crowd applauds]

631
00:26:33,049 --> 00:26:37,470
I watched my grandfather work
every single day.

632
00:26:37,971 --> 00:26:40,473
He was that guy that he loved it,
when he met you,

633
00:26:40,557 --> 00:26:43,393
he prided himself on being able
to talk to you for ten minutes.

634
00:26:43,476 --> 00:26:46,438
After talking to you, he could tell
exactly what your problem was.

635
00:26:46,521 --> 00:26:50,025
If he couldn't figure it out,
he'd sum it up to you was on "that shit."

636
00:26:50,108 --> 00:26:53,612
That's what he would say.
[chuckles] We don't know what that shit is

637
00:26:53,695 --> 00:26:57,073
but if he couldn't figure you out,
your ass was on it, best believe.

638
00:26:57,157 --> 00:26:59,743
My grandfather, when he got older,
like in his 80s,

639
00:26:59,826 --> 00:27:03,455
his favorite thing to do would be to
sit around the house and talk about me

640
00:27:03,538 --> 00:27:07,375
because he did not understand
how I was going to make it in this world.

641
00:27:07,459 --> 00:27:10,211
And he was worried for me his whole life.

642
00:27:10,295 --> 00:27:14,007
And when you get in your 80s,
you don't need nobody for conversation.

643
00:27:14,090 --> 00:27:17,469
You got both sides
of this conversation handled just fine.

644
00:27:17,552 --> 00:27:20,680
My grandfather had
a little orange recliner that he sat in,

645
00:27:20,764 --> 00:27:23,475
that nobody ever sat in
even after he passed away.

646
00:27:23,558 --> 00:27:26,019
And I remember
he would always sit in this chair.

647
00:27:26,102 --> 00:27:28,730
My grandfather always looked agitated.

648
00:27:28,813 --> 00:27:29,898
[sighs]

649
00:27:30,398 --> 00:27:34,069
[crowd titters]

650
00:27:40,492 --> 00:27:44,287
[crowd chuckles]

651
00:27:46,414 --> 00:27:47,457
[sighs]

652
00:27:48,208 --> 00:27:50,251
[crowd titters]

653
00:27:50,335 --> 00:27:53,046
[crowd laughs]

654
00:27:56,841 --> 00:27:58,885
[crowd titters]

655
00:28:00,345 --> 00:28:01,179
You know…

656
00:28:01,262 --> 00:28:03,139
[crowd titters]

657
00:28:03,223 --> 00:28:04,057
I…

658
00:28:04,891 --> 00:28:06,476
I want to thank y'all…

659
00:28:07,769 --> 00:28:09,729
for listening to this boy talk.

660
00:28:09,813 --> 00:28:11,648
[crowd chuckles]

661
00:28:11,731 --> 00:28:14,484
'Cause, up until today,

662
00:28:15,652 --> 00:28:18,279
ain't nobody wanted to hear shit
David Arnold had to say.

663
00:28:18,363 --> 00:28:21,157
[crowd laughs]

664
00:28:21,658 --> 00:28:24,077
'Cause he ain't never
been talking about nothing.

665
00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:25,036
[crowd chuckles]

666
00:28:25,120 --> 00:28:27,414
See, see, see, see…

667
00:28:28,123 --> 00:28:31,376
what you need to understand
about David Arnold…

668
00:28:31,459 --> 00:28:32,836
[crowd titters]

669
00:28:32,919 --> 00:28:34,713
…is that this boy is lazy.

670
00:28:34,796 --> 00:28:37,257
[crowd laughs]

671
00:28:37,340 --> 00:28:38,425
He lazy.

672
00:28:39,676 --> 00:28:43,972
And if he got to walk more than two feet
for a piece of bread, he gonna starve.

673
00:28:44,055 --> 00:28:45,974
[crowd chuckles]

674
00:28:46,474 --> 00:28:48,560
And that's where you'll find him. Dead.

675
00:28:48,643 --> 00:28:49,602
[crowd laughs]

676
00:28:49,686 --> 00:28:52,522
Laying six inches from a piece of toast
'cause he's lazy.

677
00:28:52,605 --> 00:28:54,023
[crowd laughs]

678
00:28:57,944 --> 00:29:00,363
I don't know where he gets
this laziness from.

679
00:29:00,447 --> 00:29:01,906
I'm 79 years old.

680
00:29:01,990 --> 00:29:03,825
I've been working since I was eight.

681
00:29:04,743 --> 00:29:05,994
And I work every day.

682
00:29:06,494 --> 00:29:09,372
You get up,
you walk two, three hours to work.

683
00:29:09,873 --> 00:29:11,708
You work 10, 12 hours.

684
00:29:11,791 --> 00:29:14,210
You walk four to six hours home every day.

685
00:29:14,294 --> 00:29:17,922
[crowd laughs, applauds]

686
00:29:18,423 --> 00:29:20,175
Weren't no days off.

687
00:29:20,258 --> 00:29:21,926
[crowd titters]

688
00:29:22,427 --> 00:29:25,096
You know? And I come up
in the coal mines of West Virginia.

689
00:29:25,764 --> 00:29:27,515
Every day, that's-- That's right.

690
00:29:27,599 --> 00:29:31,853
And I, you know, in there working one day
and this boy wasn't paying attention,

691
00:29:31,936 --> 00:29:33,730
and he fucked around and let that cart go,

692
00:29:33,813 --> 00:29:37,192
and it cut these four toes off,
but I didn't stop working.

693
00:29:37,692 --> 00:29:40,528
[crowd laughs]

694
00:29:40,612 --> 00:29:42,655
You pick the toes up,
you put them in a bag,

695
00:29:42,739 --> 00:29:44,115
you finish on with the day.

696
00:29:44,199 --> 00:29:45,074
[crowd roars]

697
00:29:45,158 --> 00:29:46,409
Shit.

698
00:29:48,912 --> 00:29:52,165
[crowd titters]

699
00:29:52,248 --> 00:29:53,583
I'm 81 years old.

700
00:29:53,666 --> 00:29:55,960
[crowd chuckles]

701
00:29:56,044 --> 00:29:58,963
I been working since I was six,
you understand me?

702
00:29:59,047 --> 00:30:03,134
[crowd laughs, applauds]

703
00:30:03,218 --> 00:30:05,428
See, see, see, see…

704
00:30:05,512 --> 00:30:06,638
[crowd titters]

705
00:30:06,721 --> 00:30:10,809
I knew David Arnold
was going to have a hard way to go

706
00:30:10,892 --> 00:30:12,977
when he come up in this world, see?

707
00:30:13,061 --> 00:30:15,688
'Cause, you know, he didn't have no daddy.

708
00:30:15,772 --> 00:30:19,025
'Cause, you know, his mama, she--
Goddamn it, she fuck around and…

709
00:30:19,108 --> 00:30:20,068
[crowd titters]

710
00:30:20,151 --> 00:30:23,112
…got pregnant by one of them
old skip-do niggas, see?

711
00:30:23,196 --> 00:30:24,906
[crowd laughs]

712
00:30:24,989 --> 00:30:28,993
Yes, skip-do. As he do what he do,
then he skip on, that's what that is.

713
00:30:29,077 --> 00:30:31,246
[crowd laughs, applauds]

714
00:30:34,082 --> 00:30:36,084
[crowd chuckles]

715
00:30:39,003 --> 00:30:41,923
So me and his grandmama
had to go down there and claim him.

716
00:30:42,423 --> 00:30:44,759
And I forget, what, what, what, what…

717
00:30:44,843 --> 00:30:47,387
What was the day
that we went down to see the boy?

718
00:30:47,470 --> 00:30:48,930
It was-- Shit. Uh…

719
00:30:49,013 --> 00:30:50,056
[crowd titters]

720
00:30:50,139 --> 00:30:52,684
March the 15th, nineteen-hundred and 68.

721
00:30:52,767 --> 00:30:54,060
[crowd chuckles]

722
00:30:54,143 --> 00:30:55,728
I remember we go to the hospital,

723
00:30:55,812 --> 00:30:59,482
and I-- Soon as I look at him,
I said, "Anna Mae…" [chuckles]

724
00:31:00,191 --> 00:31:02,151
"Whoo! This boy is lazy."

725
00:31:02,235 --> 00:31:03,444
"You understand me?"

726
00:31:03,528 --> 00:31:05,780
[crowd laughs]

727
00:31:08,241 --> 00:31:11,244
"He ain't been in the world two hours
and already he's asleep."

728
00:31:11,327 --> 00:31:12,745
"It's laziness."

729
00:31:12,829 --> 00:31:14,372
[crowd roars]

730
00:31:15,623 --> 00:31:17,667
[crowd chuckles]

731
00:31:17,750 --> 00:31:19,711
I don't do this kind of sleeping.

732
00:31:21,379 --> 00:31:22,881
I'm 83 years old.

733
00:31:23,381 --> 00:31:25,133
[crowd laughs]

734
00:31:26,050 --> 00:31:29,012
I've been working since I was four,
you understand?

735
00:31:29,095 --> 00:31:32,307
[crowd laughs, applauds]

736
00:31:35,685 --> 00:31:36,519
Hm.

737
00:31:37,145 --> 00:31:37,979
But

738
00:31:39,272 --> 00:31:40,148
eventually,

739
00:31:41,441 --> 00:31:44,611
my time on this earth was finished.

740
00:31:45,820 --> 00:31:47,071
And I had to go.

741
00:31:47,822 --> 00:31:53,328
And, I-- I-- I tell you,
I worry about that boy every single day.

742
00:31:53,411 --> 00:31:57,123
'Cause I swear before God,
I don't know how he gonna make it.

743
00:31:57,206 --> 00:31:58,666
[crowd chuckles]

744
00:31:58,750 --> 00:31:59,584
Hm.

745
00:32:00,084 --> 00:32:02,086
I hadn't seen him for a long time.

746
00:32:03,963 --> 00:32:05,298
And then one day…

747
00:32:08,843 --> 00:32:09,677
I saw him.

748
00:32:11,304 --> 00:32:12,472
And he was walking.

749
00:32:13,473 --> 00:32:16,309
Two, two and a half hours.

750
00:32:17,060 --> 00:32:20,229
And I said, where is this boy going?

751
00:32:21,606 --> 00:32:23,858
And I watch him

752
00:32:23,942 --> 00:32:26,235
walk into some joke house.

753
00:32:27,528 --> 00:32:30,406
And he in there telling his stories

754
00:32:30,490 --> 00:32:33,284
the kiki-ing and cuckooing
with these people.

755
00:32:33,368 --> 00:32:35,954
[crowd titters]

756
00:32:36,037 --> 00:32:37,664
And then I watched him walk

757
00:32:38,414 --> 00:32:40,917
two and a half hours back.

758
00:32:43,086 --> 00:32:46,255
And I watch him do this every day.

759
00:32:47,465 --> 00:32:48,716
For a long time.

760
00:32:49,676 --> 00:32:50,677
Long time.

761
00:32:52,887 --> 00:32:54,597
And then one day, it hit me.

762
00:32:56,599 --> 00:32:58,309
This boy is not lazy at all.

763
00:33:00,395 --> 00:33:01,229
He just…

764
00:33:02,855 --> 00:33:05,942
He just needed to find his purpose
that would make him walk.

765
00:33:06,442 --> 00:33:13,408
[crowd cheers, applauds]

766
00:33:16,703 --> 00:33:17,620
So…

767
00:33:18,621 --> 00:33:19,622
when you see him…

768
00:33:21,207 --> 00:33:22,083
you tell him

769
00:33:23,042 --> 00:33:26,004
"Papa… I see you."

770
00:33:28,339 --> 00:33:29,465
"I'm proud of you."

771
00:33:31,217 --> 00:33:37,098
[crowd cheers, applauds]

772
00:33:38,057 --> 00:33:40,852
My stepfather didn't have no job,
wasn't getting no job,

773
00:33:40,935 --> 00:33:43,396
and fuck anybody
who told him he better get a job.

774
00:33:43,479 --> 00:33:44,647
[crowd laughs]

775
00:33:44,731 --> 00:33:48,276
[chuckles] My stepfather
was a completely different kind of dude.

776
00:33:48,359 --> 00:33:50,445
My stepfather had a claim to fame though.

777
00:33:50,528 --> 00:33:54,240
My stepfather started a group in the '50s
that became popular in the '70s,

778
00:33:54,323 --> 00:33:55,408
called The O'Jays.

779
00:33:55,491 --> 00:33:56,743
-[spectator] Yes!
-Yes.

780
00:33:56,826 --> 00:33:59,495
[crowd applauds, cheers]

781
00:33:59,579 --> 00:34:02,498
But he quit the day before
they made a million dollars.

782
00:34:02,582 --> 00:34:04,625
[crowd laughs]

783
00:34:04,709 --> 00:34:07,503
So I spent my whole childhood
watching a man try to prove

784
00:34:07,587 --> 00:34:09,589
that what was probably
his biggest mistake

785
00:34:09,672 --> 00:34:11,174
was not really a mistake at all.

786
00:34:11,257 --> 00:34:14,177
This is the thing. I don't know
if you know anyone from the '70s.

787
00:34:14,260 --> 00:34:16,596
My stepfather from the '70s.
All them from the '70s,

788
00:34:16,679 --> 00:34:18,890
they always got some slick shit happening.

789
00:34:18,973 --> 00:34:19,807
You know?

790
00:34:19,891 --> 00:34:23,478
[chuckles] You know, everything you wore
was silk for no goddamn reason.

791
00:34:23,561 --> 00:34:26,689
He was always doing
some '70s shit with his fingers.

792
00:34:26,773 --> 00:34:29,150
And he had a Jheri curl,
but not really, and…

793
00:34:29,233 --> 00:34:31,611
[crowd laughs]

794
00:34:31,694 --> 00:34:35,740
My stepfather, you know, he was cool.
And he would talk down to you, you know.

795
00:34:35,823 --> 00:34:38,659
'Cause, "Nigga, I started The O'Jays.
Nigga, you didn't."

796
00:34:38,743 --> 00:34:40,244
[crowd laughs]

797
00:34:40,328 --> 00:34:43,331
So all of his sentences
started the same way.

798
00:34:43,414 --> 00:34:44,791
[smacks lips]

799
00:34:44,874 --> 00:34:48,461
[crowd laughs]

800
00:34:48,544 --> 00:34:51,297
[laughs]

801
00:34:51,380 --> 00:34:52,256
[inhales]

802
00:34:52,340 --> 00:34:54,050
"No, nigga, no."

803
00:34:54,133 --> 00:34:56,010
[crowd laughs]

804
00:34:56,094 --> 00:34:59,472
[chuckles] I remember saying to my mother,
"Why you got me in here?"

805
00:34:59,555 --> 00:35:00,723
[crowd laughs]

806
00:35:00,807 --> 00:35:03,059
We grew up with a lot of rules
with my stepfather.

807
00:35:03,142 --> 00:35:06,354
One of the biggest rules we grew up,
me and my three younger sisters,

808
00:35:06,437 --> 00:35:09,941
was one glass of juice per kid, per day.

809
00:35:10,024 --> 00:35:12,235
Everything after that, drink water.

810
00:35:12,318 --> 00:35:13,444
That was the rule.

811
00:35:13,528 --> 00:35:15,446
And you couldn't get around this rule

812
00:35:15,530 --> 00:35:18,908
because he had drink tickets
that he would pass out in the morning.

813
00:35:18,991 --> 00:35:20,326
[crowd roars]

814
00:35:21,410 --> 00:35:23,538
Wake up, come downstairs,
he's standing there.

815
00:35:23,621 --> 00:35:27,458
"Good morning. There's your drink ticket.
Fuck that off however you like."

816
00:35:27,542 --> 00:35:29,418
[crowd laughs]

817
00:35:29,502 --> 00:35:30,837
[chuckles]

818
00:35:31,337 --> 00:35:32,755
I was a smart kid.

819
00:35:32,839 --> 00:35:35,591
I would save up all my drink tickets
to the end of the week.

820
00:35:35,675 --> 00:35:37,552
On Friday, put them on the table. Bam!

821
00:35:37,635 --> 00:35:41,806
"Got five drink tickets,
need five glasses of juice."

822
00:35:41,889 --> 00:35:44,559
[crowd laughs, applauds]

823
00:35:47,645 --> 00:35:50,314
[crowd titters]

824
00:35:51,399 --> 00:35:53,568
[chuckles]

825
00:35:53,651 --> 00:35:54,485
[inhales]

826
00:35:54,569 --> 00:35:56,195
"No, nigga, no."

827
00:35:56,279 --> 00:35:58,281
[crowd laughs, applauds]

828
00:35:59,657 --> 00:36:00,992
[crowd chuckles]

829
00:36:01,075 --> 00:36:04,871
"Today's drink ticket color, David,
is blue."

830
00:36:04,954 --> 00:36:06,164
[crowd laughs]

831
00:36:06,247 --> 00:36:08,124
"None of this is that."

832
00:36:08,708 --> 00:36:10,334
"Drink water." [chuckles]

833
00:36:10,418 --> 00:36:12,420
And I was like, "I hate it here!"

834
00:36:12,503 --> 00:36:14,338
[crowd laughs]

835
00:36:14,839 --> 00:36:19,719
For the life of me, I could not understand
why this man was so cheap.

836
00:36:20,219 --> 00:36:21,053
[crowd titters]

837
00:36:21,137 --> 00:36:23,764
And then one day it hit me,
he was not cheap.

838
00:36:23,848 --> 00:36:24,932
He was broke.

839
00:36:25,016 --> 00:36:27,101
[crowd laughs]

840
00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:28,686
And that is a difference.

841
00:36:28,769 --> 00:36:32,148
When you're broke,
you move at a different cadence.

842
00:36:32,231 --> 00:36:33,065
You understand?

843
00:36:33,149 --> 00:36:36,152
There is always a pressure
on the back of your neck,

844
00:36:36,235 --> 00:36:41,032
and every single decision that is made
in your life applies a little bit more.

845
00:36:41,115 --> 00:36:43,034
This wasn't even about the juice.

846
00:36:43,117 --> 00:36:44,827
This shit wasn't even real juice.

847
00:36:44,911 --> 00:36:50,166
It was like 99-cent Chilly Willy
diabetes-in-a-jug colored water.

848
00:36:50,666 --> 00:36:54,086
But when them juice levels got low,
that pressure got on his neck.

849
00:36:54,170 --> 00:36:55,963
That shit was real for him.

850
00:36:56,047 --> 00:36:59,050
But for me, a ten-year-old kid,
all I know is I wanted some juice.

851
00:36:59,133 --> 00:37:04,180
I can never see his life
through the eyes of a 33-year-old man.

852
00:37:04,263 --> 00:37:06,432
Which is,
this is a man who's married to a woman

853
00:37:06,515 --> 00:37:09,227
who has three children,
two of them are not his.

854
00:37:09,310 --> 00:37:10,811
Right? There is no money.

855
00:37:10,895 --> 00:37:14,023
She's in his ear
and never lets him fucking forget it.

856
00:37:14,106 --> 00:37:16,525
Right? The juice levels is getting low,

857
00:37:16,609 --> 00:37:19,028
there's pressure on the back of his neck,

858
00:37:19,111 --> 00:37:22,657
and every single day in our house,
on the radio,

859
00:37:22,740 --> 00:37:24,242
the only thing you heard was,

860
00:37:24,325 --> 00:37:28,246
♪ People all over the world, join hands ♪

861
00:37:28,329 --> 00:37:30,039
♪ Start a love train ♪

862
00:37:30,122 --> 00:37:30,957
♪ Love train ♪

863
00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:34,543
I'm surprised this nigga
didn't kill all of us, you hear me?

864
00:37:34,627 --> 00:37:41,592
[crowd laughs, cheers]

865
00:37:44,428 --> 00:37:50,434
But I could not see life through his eyes
because I was a ten-year-old kid,

866
00:37:50,518 --> 00:37:54,230
and I would not be able to understand
what he was going through

867
00:37:54,730 --> 00:37:55,898
till 40 years later,

868
00:37:56,732 --> 00:38:00,361
when I am now in my house
and my children are one and two.

869
00:38:00,444 --> 00:38:02,029
Julie was in the kitchen cooking.

870
00:38:02,113 --> 00:38:04,865
I had just quit my day job,
where I made a living as a nurse,

871
00:38:04,949 --> 00:38:06,742
to pursue this dream of doing stand-up.

872
00:38:06,826 --> 00:38:12,415
And I remember I would go and check our
family online checking account every day,

873
00:38:12,498 --> 00:38:17,086
because that balance was an indication
of how long I had to chase this dream.

874
00:38:17,795 --> 00:38:19,588
Right? And I would check and check.

875
00:38:19,672 --> 00:38:22,300
I remember coming in there one day
and it said zero.

876
00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:23,926
And in that moment,

877
00:38:24,010 --> 00:38:26,971
I felt that pressure
on the back of my neck.

878
00:38:27,054 --> 00:38:30,266
And I realized
that my juice levels was low.

879
00:38:30,850 --> 00:38:31,809
What should I do?

880
00:38:31,892 --> 00:38:34,145
The easy thing to do
is to go back to the day job,

881
00:38:34,228 --> 00:38:36,981
which is security, paying my bills,
taking care of my family

882
00:38:37,064 --> 00:38:39,108
or I figure out how to stay on this path,

883
00:38:39,191 --> 00:38:42,570
that I now successfully walk in,
to chase my dream as a stand-up.

884
00:38:43,070 --> 00:38:45,865
And I knew exactly
what I had to do. Right?

885
00:38:45,948 --> 00:38:48,159
I went into the kitchen
where Julie was cooking,

886
00:38:48,659 --> 00:38:50,536
and I looked at her and I said, "Julie…

887
00:38:52,955 --> 00:38:54,332
one glass of juice…

888
00:38:55,374 --> 00:38:57,626
per kid, per day."

889
00:38:57,710 --> 00:38:59,670
[crowd laughs, cheers]

890
00:38:59,754 --> 00:39:01,672
"Everybody else, drink water."

891
00:39:01,756 --> 00:39:03,758
[crowd laughs, applauds]

892
00:39:03,841 --> 00:39:07,303
I don't give a fuck what you do,
you gonna be just like them.

893
00:39:07,386 --> 00:39:08,429
You know what's crazy?

894
00:39:08,512 --> 00:39:14,643
It would not be until 2005 that
I realized what my stepfather taught me,

895
00:39:14,727 --> 00:39:18,314
in 2005, when I watched him get inducted
into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

896
00:39:18,397 --> 00:39:20,399
with The O'Jays, right over here…

897
00:39:20,483 --> 00:39:24,820
[crowd cheers, applauds]

898
00:39:25,321 --> 00:39:28,240
…that he taught me something
I didn't even realize he taught me,

899
00:39:28,324 --> 00:39:29,825
which is to never quit.

900
00:39:29,909 --> 00:39:31,327
As long as I've known him,

901
00:39:31,410 --> 00:39:34,121
and to this day, 81 years old,
this man still does not quit.

902
00:39:34,205 --> 00:39:36,248
Every time I see him, "I got a meeting--"

903
00:39:36,332 --> 00:39:38,542
"Ain't no goddamn meetings, it's over."

904
00:39:38,626 --> 00:39:39,460
[crowd laughs]

905
00:39:39,543 --> 00:39:41,670
"Sit your ass down. You understand?"

906
00:39:41,754 --> 00:39:43,756
"I got one glass of juice for you."

907
00:39:43,839 --> 00:39:45,174
[crowd titters]

908
00:39:45,257 --> 00:39:48,844
"Everything after that, drink water.
You know the rules, you made them."

909
00:39:48,928 --> 00:39:50,137
[crowd chuckles]

910
00:39:50,221 --> 00:39:52,556
My father taught me shit
he didn't realize he did.

911
00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:55,393
Just because I'm the man,
don't mean I got to be no hero,

912
00:39:55,476 --> 00:39:57,520
and don't mean I got to take the bullet.

913
00:39:57,603 --> 00:39:59,397
Everybody think the man saves the day.

914
00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:02,233
My father taught me quick,
"Fuck that, I'm not doing that."

915
00:40:02,316 --> 00:40:03,734
[crowd titters]

916
00:40:03,818 --> 00:40:04,944
My father… [chuckles]

917
00:40:05,027 --> 00:40:07,988
I used to go out on the weekends
with my father, my stepfather.

918
00:40:08,072 --> 00:40:09,573
My dad would pick us up.

919
00:40:09,657 --> 00:40:12,576
My stepmother, and stepbrother
and sister, we would all hang out.

920
00:40:12,660 --> 00:40:14,620
My stepmother would watch us all weekend

921
00:40:14,703 --> 00:40:16,789
because my father would
work on his race car.

922
00:40:16,872 --> 00:40:18,916
My stepmother always had an attitude.

923
00:40:18,999 --> 00:40:21,168
She wore a robe
that didn't have a string on it,

924
00:40:21,252 --> 00:40:22,545
that she held with one hand.

925
00:40:22,628 --> 00:40:24,839
She always had a cigarette
and would cuss us out.

926
00:40:24,922 --> 00:40:27,133
"You goddamn kids
get on my goddamn nerves."

927
00:40:27,758 --> 00:40:29,969
[chuckles] Like, why the fuck
is she so angry?

928
00:40:30,052 --> 00:40:33,431
I didn't realize he's picking up
two extra kids and dropping them with her.

929
00:40:33,514 --> 00:40:34,849
Of course she angry.

930
00:40:34,932 --> 00:40:38,436
You never realize what people think
about you until a moment comes.

931
00:40:38,519 --> 00:40:40,229
I had a little cap gun I played with.

932
00:40:40,312 --> 00:40:42,606
My stepmother was like,
"Let me get that cap gun."

933
00:40:42,690 --> 00:40:44,900
"Let's play a prank on your father."

934
00:40:44,984 --> 00:40:49,029
"When he walk in, I'm gonna pretend
like I murder all of y'all."

935
00:40:49,113 --> 00:40:50,531
"And let's see what he do."

936
00:40:50,614 --> 00:40:53,033
I'm like, "Goddamn, wait a minute."

937
00:40:53,117 --> 00:40:56,328
Murder? How the fuck we go to murder?
What about a water balloon?

938
00:40:56,412 --> 00:40:58,497
How you go straight to murder? [chuckles]

939
00:40:58,581 --> 00:41:01,500
But you know me, I'm like,
"Okay. Fuck it, shoot me first."

940
00:41:01,584 --> 00:41:04,503
"Because I want to fall
so I can see what Dad do."

941
00:41:04,587 --> 00:41:07,089
My father walk in to get some water
out the garage,

942
00:41:07,173 --> 00:41:10,384
Jacci got the gun in her robe, right?

943
00:41:10,468 --> 00:41:12,178
He walks in, she goes into character.

944
00:41:12,261 --> 00:41:14,346
"I'm so sick of you
leaving me with the kids."

945
00:41:14,430 --> 00:41:17,016
She pull out the gun. Pop! Pop!
She start firing shots.

946
00:41:17,099 --> 00:41:18,559
She hit me first, I fall.

947
00:41:18,642 --> 00:41:22,104
I'm on the ground, looking up at her
looking at him, seeing what he gonna do.

948
00:41:22,188 --> 00:41:25,816
I know my father
about to jump into superhero mode.

949
00:41:25,900 --> 00:41:28,068
When I tell you
with every shot she fired,

950
00:41:28,152 --> 00:41:31,489
this man got closer
and closer to the front door.

951
00:41:31,572 --> 00:41:33,991
Pop! "What's wrong with you?"
Pop! "What's wrong--?"

952
00:41:34,074 --> 00:41:35,910
[crowd laughs]

953
00:41:35,993 --> 00:41:39,246
I got up.
I said, "Is he leaving everybody?"

954
00:41:39,330 --> 00:41:41,123
[crowd roars]

955
00:41:41,207 --> 00:41:43,959
It's one kid left,
my five-year-old sister, Tammi.

956
00:41:44,043 --> 00:41:45,961
I know he going try to save the baby.

957
00:41:46,545 --> 00:41:49,048
When I tell you this man stepped over me…

958
00:41:49,131 --> 00:41:50,341
[crowd laughs]

959
00:41:50,424 --> 00:41:51,967
…on his way to the door,

960
00:41:52,051 --> 00:41:53,719
that's when I start laughing.

961
00:41:53,802 --> 00:41:56,639
Now everybody else laughing,
we know the joke is up.

962
00:41:56,722 --> 00:41:59,225
My father's like, "What y'all--?
Boy, I was about to--"

963
00:41:59,308 --> 00:42:00,851
"You wasn't about to do shit."

964
00:42:00,935 --> 00:42:01,936
[crowd laughs]

965
00:42:02,019 --> 00:42:03,479
"You left everybody!"

966
00:42:03,562 --> 00:42:05,439
[crowd titters]

967
00:42:05,523 --> 00:42:08,108
[chuckles] My dad was like,
"Well, shit, y'all was shot."

968
00:42:08,192 --> 00:42:09,360
"Why I gotta get shot?"

969
00:42:09,443 --> 00:42:11,946
[crowd laughs, applauds]

970
00:42:13,030 --> 00:42:16,033
I learned that day, quick,
I ain't gotta be no hero.

971
00:42:16,116 --> 00:42:17,868
I tell my wife that shit all the time.

972
00:42:17,952 --> 00:42:20,204
"Julie, don't put me in no position
to be no hero,

973
00:42:20,287 --> 00:42:22,706
'cause I'm going to let you down,
I promise you."

974
00:42:22,790 --> 00:42:24,625
[crowd laughs]

975
00:42:26,418 --> 00:42:29,672
[chuckles]

976
00:42:36,136 --> 00:42:38,305
[crowd laughs]

977
00:42:38,806 --> 00:42:40,849
I've been sober 23 years.

978
00:42:40,933 --> 00:42:45,563
[crowd cheers]

979
00:42:47,439 --> 00:42:51,235
You know, I don't know if I got sober
because I hit rock bottom

980
00:42:51,318 --> 00:42:55,406
or if I just got tired of doing the work
that it took to be on drugs.

981
00:42:55,489 --> 00:42:56,323
[crowd titters]

982
00:42:56,407 --> 00:42:58,158
It takes a lot of work to be on drugs.

983
00:42:58,242 --> 00:43:01,787
If you know any people that's on drugs,
these are not lazy people.

984
00:43:01,870 --> 00:43:03,122
These are motivated people.

985
00:43:03,205 --> 00:43:07,835
You gotta be up all hours of the night,
steal, bullshit always happening.

986
00:43:07,918 --> 00:43:10,254
Good drug can happen
2:00, 3:00, 5:00 in the morning.

987
00:43:10,337 --> 00:43:13,257
You can't be lazy and be on drugs,
you gotta be out there.

988
00:43:13,924 --> 00:43:16,135
One of my biggest problems
with being on drugs

989
00:43:16,218 --> 00:43:18,345
is that I never looked
like I was on drugs.

990
00:43:18,429 --> 00:43:21,807
I always looked like this,
which made it hard to buy drugs

991
00:43:21,890 --> 00:43:25,019
'cause the dope man always thought
I was an undercover cop.

992
00:43:25,519 --> 00:43:28,314
Every time, he's like,
"Get out of here, I know you're a cop."

993
00:43:28,397 --> 00:43:29,857
"I swear I'm not the cops!"

994
00:43:29,940 --> 00:43:32,318
"My life is outta control,
I need some shit!" [laughs]

995
00:43:32,818 --> 00:43:36,280
I spent 30 minutes trying to convince
the dope man my life is out of control

996
00:43:36,363 --> 00:43:37,615
so he'd sell me some drugs.

997
00:43:37,698 --> 00:43:40,492
I'd get back to the car like,
"Goddamn, this is exhausting."

998
00:43:40,576 --> 00:43:42,578
[crowd laughs]

999
00:43:43,787 --> 00:43:49,168
What's funny is my spin in, you know,
to sobriety was a slow one.

1000
00:43:49,251 --> 00:43:51,253
Because I never did no crazy shit.

1001
00:43:51,337 --> 00:43:52,963
I always did little stupid shit.

1002
00:43:53,047 --> 00:43:55,507
I never murdered nobody,
I never, you know, killed.

1003
00:43:55,591 --> 00:43:57,718
I never did rob,
I never did that kind of shit.

1004
00:43:57,801 --> 00:44:01,055
I would do dumb shit like, you know,
go to jail two days in a row.

1005
00:44:01,138 --> 00:44:01,972
[crowd titters]

1006
00:44:02,056 --> 00:44:04,642
By the same cop.
That's the kind of shit I would do.

1007
00:44:04,725 --> 00:44:06,977
Like, I know my driver's license
was suspended

1008
00:44:07,061 --> 00:44:09,146
from the time I was 17 till about 20.

1009
00:44:09,229 --> 00:44:11,273
It was always some bullshit
with my license.

1010
00:44:11,357 --> 00:44:12,858
Restricted, suspended,

1011
00:44:12,941 --> 00:44:16,070
you can't drive between 2:00 and 4:00,
always some bullshit.

1012
00:44:16,612 --> 00:44:19,323
Right? I remember one time
I was dating this girl. [laughs]

1013
00:44:19,406 --> 00:44:21,408
She's like,
"Let's get a drink, I'll drive."

1014
00:44:21,492 --> 00:44:23,202
I'm like, "Fuck it, I'll drive."

1015
00:44:23,285 --> 00:44:26,038
I jump in her car, I'm driving,
I do some drunk shit.

1016
00:44:26,121 --> 00:44:28,123
Police pull us over, hit us with lights.

1017
00:44:28,207 --> 00:44:30,125
Immediately, I come up with an idea.

1018
00:44:30,209 --> 00:44:32,127
Let's switch seats while we driving.

1019
00:44:32,628 --> 00:44:34,296
Because you got a license, I don't.

1020
00:44:34,380 --> 00:44:36,256
He gives you the ticket,
I give you money.

1021
00:44:36,340 --> 00:44:39,259
"I don't think we should."
"Switch the damn seats." So we switch.

1022
00:44:39,343 --> 00:44:43,013
She pulls the car over,
the police pulls over.

1023
00:44:43,097 --> 00:44:47,059
He gets out, he don't even go up
to the driver's side of the car.

1024
00:44:47,142 --> 00:44:49,978
He walks right over to me
sitting in the passenger's side,

1025
00:44:50,062 --> 00:44:52,231
trying to act like
I don't know what's going on.

1026
00:44:52,314 --> 00:44:53,315
Taps on the window.

1027
00:44:53,399 --> 00:44:55,401
He says, "Hey. Roll the window down."

1028
00:44:55,484 --> 00:44:57,778
"You know I can see you
through the rear window."

1029
00:44:57,861 --> 00:44:58,696
[crowd laughs]

1030
00:44:58,779 --> 00:45:01,156
"Get your ass out the car.
You going to jail."

1031
00:45:01,657 --> 00:45:02,658
[crowd chuckles]

1032
00:45:02,741 --> 00:45:05,119
Took me to jail, she bailed me out.

1033
00:45:05,202 --> 00:45:07,579
The next day, same shit.

1034
00:45:07,663 --> 00:45:11,083
"Let's go get a drink, I'll drive."
"No, fuck it, bitch, I'll drive."

1035
00:45:11,166 --> 00:45:12,251
[crowd laughs]

1036
00:45:12,334 --> 00:45:14,378
Jump into the car, same car.

1037
00:45:14,461 --> 00:45:18,173
Same time, same corner, same police.

1038
00:45:18,674 --> 00:45:21,844
-I turned the corner, we locked eyes.
-[crowd laughs]

1039
00:45:21,927 --> 00:45:23,303
Me and the police in his car.

1040
00:45:23,387 --> 00:45:27,057
I look at him look at me and go,
"What the fuck are you doing?"

1041
00:45:27,141 --> 00:45:29,393
[crowd laughs, applauds]

1042
00:45:29,476 --> 00:45:32,187
This time I don't even wait for him
to get out of his car.

1043
00:45:32,271 --> 00:45:34,481
I immediately pull over,
get out of my car,

1044
00:45:34,565 --> 00:45:36,233
walk and get in his car,

1045
00:45:36,316 --> 00:45:38,527
'cause I know
my Black ass is going to jail.

1046
00:45:38,610 --> 00:45:40,571
[crowd laughs, cheers]

1047
00:45:40,654 --> 00:45:42,948
This is the kind of shit I would do.

1048
00:45:43,031 --> 00:45:47,119
My life just kept spinning, and it never
looked like my life was out of control.

1049
00:45:47,202 --> 00:45:49,496
When you tell the story back,
it's kind of funny.

1050
00:45:49,580 --> 00:45:51,415
[crowd chuckles]

1051
00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:55,169
And my parents somehow
would always bail me out of my shit.

1052
00:45:55,669 --> 00:45:58,589
So it just kept spinning.

1053
00:46:01,341 --> 00:46:03,677
I did seven days in prison in Bakersfield.

1054
00:46:03,761 --> 00:46:05,512
[audience member cackles]

1055
00:46:05,596 --> 00:46:08,849
[crowd laughs]

1056
00:46:08,932 --> 00:46:09,933
[chuckles]

1057
00:46:10,642 --> 00:46:13,562
And I remember, you know, I… [chuckles]

1058
00:46:14,521 --> 00:46:18,108
I got-- It was a fix-it ticket
that I allowed to turn into a warrant.

1059
00:46:18,192 --> 00:46:19,359
[crowd titters]

1060
00:46:19,443 --> 00:46:23,822
I don't know if you know,
I was driving a car that I paid $600 for,

1061
00:46:24,323 --> 00:46:26,408
which should tell you
where I'm at in my life.

1062
00:46:26,492 --> 00:46:28,952
[audience member cackles]

1063
00:46:29,036 --> 00:46:31,747
[crowd laughs]

1064
00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:33,874
[chuckles]

1065
00:46:33,957 --> 00:46:37,294
That one-- That one laugh is enough
for me to keep telling this story.

1066
00:46:37,377 --> 00:46:39,046
[chuckles]

1067
00:46:39,129 --> 00:46:41,673
[crowd giggles]

1068
00:46:41,757 --> 00:46:43,175
The police pulled me over,

1069
00:46:43,258 --> 00:46:45,969
to realize there are no seat belts
in the car.

1070
00:46:46,053 --> 00:46:49,765
-He was like, "No seat belts in this car!"
-I said, "I know, I paid $600 for it."

1071
00:46:49,848 --> 00:46:51,391
[crowd laughs]

1072
00:46:51,475 --> 00:46:53,811
He said, "You can't drive a car
with no seat belts."

1073
00:46:53,894 --> 00:46:56,522
So he gave me a fix-it ticket
to put seat belts in the car.

1074
00:46:56,605 --> 00:46:57,481
Come to find out,

1075
00:46:57,564 --> 00:47:02,903
costs $600 to put seat belts
in a car that I paid $600 for.

1076
00:47:03,403 --> 00:47:05,280
I'm not going to do that.

1077
00:47:05,364 --> 00:47:06,990
[crowd laughs]

1078
00:47:07,074 --> 00:47:08,909
So I drove the car till it broke down.

1079
00:47:08,992 --> 00:47:11,453
When it broke down
I left it on the side of the road,

1080
00:47:11,537 --> 00:47:13,997
took my basketball out the back
and dribbled home.

1081
00:47:14,540 --> 00:47:15,457
Mm-hm.

1082
00:47:15,541 --> 00:47:18,544
I never thought about this car ever again.

1083
00:47:18,627 --> 00:47:20,879
A year later,
I'm up at Edwards Air Force Base

1084
00:47:20,963 --> 00:47:23,173
with my cousin, Michael,
drinking and doing shit.

1085
00:47:23,257 --> 00:47:25,259
The police get called, names get read.

1086
00:47:25,342 --> 00:47:27,803
[crowd chuckles]

1087
00:47:28,303 --> 00:47:31,265
My name comes up,
"David Arnold warrant LA."

1088
00:47:31,348 --> 00:47:34,226
They take me four hours north
to Bakersfield,

1089
00:47:34,309 --> 00:47:36,979
where they hold me
for seven days in prison.

1090
00:47:37,062 --> 00:47:40,440
Now, this is how I know
I'm not about that life.

1091
00:47:40,524 --> 00:47:42,526
[crowd laughs]

1092
00:47:42,609 --> 00:47:43,902
[chuckles]

1093
00:47:43,986 --> 00:47:47,614
Because the stuff that should've
made me call my mother immediately

1094
00:47:47,698 --> 00:47:48,824
didn't bother me at all.

1095
00:47:48,907 --> 00:47:52,369
Stuff that should bother you
about being in prison, I'm fine with.

1096
00:47:52,452 --> 00:47:55,455
But the stuff that made me call her
was no less than ridiculous.

1097
00:47:55,539 --> 00:47:57,249
I-- I remember I was

1098
00:47:58,250 --> 00:48:00,586
two days into a seven-day sentence.

1099
00:48:01,253 --> 00:48:02,504
I'm doing hard time.

1100
00:48:02,588 --> 00:48:05,299
[crowd laughs]

1101
00:48:07,801 --> 00:48:08,635
[chuckles]

1102
00:48:08,719 --> 00:48:10,053
And I remember I was…

1103
00:48:10,721 --> 00:48:11,972
having lunch,

1104
00:48:12,514 --> 00:48:14,433
and in the middle of eating I went…

1105
00:48:14,933 --> 00:48:17,686
[smacks lips]

1106
00:48:18,186 --> 00:48:20,689
[crowd chuckles]

1107
00:48:21,189 --> 00:48:24,318
"Am I the only one
that thinks this food is bland?"

1108
00:48:24,401 --> 00:48:27,362
[crowd laughs]

1109
00:48:29,406 --> 00:48:31,742
[crowd titters]

1110
00:48:32,242 --> 00:48:33,493
"You want some salt?"

1111
00:48:33,577 --> 00:48:35,078
[crowd chuckles]

1112
00:48:35,162 --> 00:48:36,580
"Some salt would be good."

1113
00:48:38,498 --> 00:48:40,459
"Go ask the guard, he'll get you some."

1114
00:48:40,542 --> 00:48:42,294
[crowd laughs]

1115
00:48:44,713 --> 00:48:46,048
[exhaling from nose]

1116
00:48:46,131 --> 00:48:47,758
[crowd titters]

1117
00:48:47,841 --> 00:48:48,675
[smacks lips]

1118
00:48:50,093 --> 00:48:51,762
"How you doing? Uh…"

1119
00:48:51,845 --> 00:48:53,764
[crowd chuckles]

1120
00:48:53,847 --> 00:48:56,892
"I'm David. Um… 7-4--
It don't matter. Listen…"

1121
00:48:56,975 --> 00:48:57,809
"Um…

1122
00:48:58,435 --> 00:49:00,854
so me and the fellas was talking and…"

1123
00:49:00,938 --> 00:49:02,105
[crowd titters]

1124
00:49:02,189 --> 00:49:03,315
[smacks lips, inhales]

1125
00:49:03,398 --> 00:49:04,691
"This food…"

1126
00:49:04,775 --> 00:49:06,652
[crowd giggles]

1127
00:49:07,819 --> 00:49:08,654
[whistles]

1128
00:49:08,737 --> 00:49:10,739
[crowd chuckles]

1129
00:49:10,822 --> 00:49:12,115
"It's a little bland."

1130
00:49:12,616 --> 00:49:16,703
[crowd titters]

1131
00:49:16,787 --> 00:49:17,955
"You want some salt?"

1132
00:49:18,038 --> 00:49:19,456
[crowd chuckles]

1133
00:49:19,539 --> 00:49:20,874
"Some salt would be nice."

1134
00:49:22,125 --> 00:49:23,835
"Have a seat, I'll bring you some."

1135
00:49:24,336 --> 00:49:25,504
[whispers] "All right."

1136
00:49:25,587 --> 00:49:27,214
[crowd chuckles]

1137
00:49:28,256 --> 00:49:29,299
[exhales]

1138
00:49:29,383 --> 00:49:31,218
"He about to bring us some salt, y'all."

1139
00:49:31,301 --> 00:49:34,513
[crowd laughs]

1140
00:49:35,013 --> 00:49:38,100
[chuckles] Sat there for 35 minutes.

1141
00:49:38,183 --> 00:49:39,142
[crowd laughs]

1142
00:49:39,226 --> 00:49:41,061
Watching him watch me

1143
00:49:41,561 --> 00:49:44,231
watch him not go get me no salt.

1144
00:49:44,314 --> 00:49:45,941
[crowd laughs]

1145
00:49:47,442 --> 00:49:48,276
[chuckles]

1146
00:49:48,902 --> 00:49:51,071
Everybody's gone but me and the guard.

1147
00:49:51,154 --> 00:49:52,614
[crowd laughs]

1148
00:49:54,866 --> 00:49:55,867
[sighs]

1149
00:49:55,951 --> 00:49:57,119
[crowd chuckles]

1150
00:49:57,202 --> 00:49:58,161
[sighs]

1151
00:49:59,705 --> 00:50:00,831
[sighs]

1152
00:50:02,332 --> 00:50:04,376
"Hey, uh, listen…"

1153
00:50:04,459 --> 00:50:05,544
[crowd titters]

1154
00:50:05,627 --> 00:50:08,588
"I'm David. I-- I know you're busy.
Listen, um…"

1155
00:50:10,674 --> 00:50:12,092
"Are you gonna get the salt?"

1156
00:50:12,175 --> 00:50:13,468
[crowd laughs]

1157
00:50:14,720 --> 00:50:16,847
[chuckles]

1158
00:50:16,930 --> 00:50:17,764
[sighs]

1159
00:50:17,848 --> 00:50:19,391
"No, nigga, no."

1160
00:50:19,474 --> 00:50:21,435
[crowd laughs]

1161
00:50:21,518 --> 00:50:24,896
That's when I called my mama.
"Mama, you gotta get me out of here."

1162
00:50:24,980 --> 00:50:28,108
She said, "Are they trying to fuck you?"
I said, "What?! No!"

1163
00:50:28,191 --> 00:50:31,737
[crowd laughs, applauds]

1164
00:50:31,820 --> 00:50:34,740
I said, "But it ain't
no salt and pepper in here,

1165
00:50:34,823 --> 00:50:39,995
and I can't live in a world where I can't
put no seasoning on my mashed potatoes."

1166
00:50:40,078 --> 00:50:43,749
She said, "Keep your voice down and let me
get you out before somebody fuck you."

1167
00:50:43,832 --> 00:50:44,833
"You hear me?"

1168
00:50:44,916 --> 00:50:47,169
This is who I was.

1169
00:50:47,252 --> 00:50:50,589
[crowd laughs]

1170
00:50:51,089 --> 00:50:53,300
Nothing got my attention.

1171
00:50:54,134 --> 00:50:56,762
Nothing.
Because it was always some bullshit

1172
00:50:56,845 --> 00:51:01,183
and, I'm telling you,
it just kept spinning.

1173
00:51:02,142 --> 00:51:03,769
Nothing would get my attention.

1174
00:51:04,352 --> 00:51:05,979
Except for that goddamn cocaine.

1175
00:51:06,688 --> 00:51:08,106
Oh, that cocaine.

1176
00:51:08,857 --> 00:51:13,737
You know, cocaine has a way of
eating away at the fabric of who you are

1177
00:51:13,820 --> 00:51:15,655
and you don't even see it happening.

1178
00:51:16,156 --> 00:51:18,450
You ever see somebody try to act sober?

1179
00:51:19,034 --> 00:51:21,078
[crowd chuckles]

1180
00:51:21,578 --> 00:51:23,413
[crowd laughs]

1181
00:51:23,497 --> 00:51:26,625
[chuckles] This is what a drunk nigga
think a sober person look like.

1182
00:51:26,708 --> 00:51:28,960
[crowd titters]

1183
00:51:29,044 --> 00:51:30,003
[chuckles]

1184
00:51:34,549 --> 00:51:35,717
That cocaine…

1185
00:51:35,801 --> 00:51:36,843
[sighs]

1186
00:51:36,927 --> 00:51:39,137
…was something.
And you know what's so funny?

1187
00:51:39,221 --> 00:51:42,682
I remember, like,
my life started to turn a corner

1188
00:51:43,183 --> 00:51:45,352
when I sold my car to the drug dealer.

1189
00:51:45,852 --> 00:51:49,231
I'll never forget.
I-- I wrote out on a napkin "$200."

1190
00:51:49,314 --> 00:51:51,775
Wrote it out on a napkin,
gave it to the drug dealer,

1191
00:51:51,858 --> 00:51:53,902
walked home with $200 in my hand.

1192
00:51:53,985 --> 00:51:55,487
Like my life was great.

1193
00:51:55,570 --> 00:51:58,657
Skipping on that little
soft-ass playground. Just…

1194
00:51:58,740 --> 00:51:59,783
[crowd chuckles]

1195
00:52:00,283 --> 00:52:01,118
[sighs]

1196
00:52:01,201 --> 00:52:03,078
Still, that did not get my attention.

1197
00:52:03,995 --> 00:52:06,706
Came back three days later
to buy more cocaine.

1198
00:52:06,790 --> 00:52:09,626
This time, I bought $11 worth of cocaine.

1199
00:52:09,709 --> 00:52:12,045
That I paid for with in nickels.

1200
00:52:12,546 --> 00:52:15,799
Counted that shit out.
"Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35…"

1201
00:52:15,882 --> 00:52:18,552
-"That's one. Five, 10, 15, 20, 25…"
-[crowd laughs]

1202
00:52:18,635 --> 00:52:19,469
[chuckles]

1203
00:52:19,553 --> 00:52:22,931
Took that $11 worth of cocaine
and walked home in the rain.

1204
00:52:23,431 --> 00:52:26,643
Proud! Car drove by,
hit a puddle, splashed me.

1205
00:52:27,144 --> 00:52:29,146
It was the drug dealer in my car.

1206
00:52:29,771 --> 00:52:32,149
I said, "This motherfucker
could've gave me a ride."

1207
00:52:32,232 --> 00:52:33,358
[crowd laughs]

1208
00:52:33,441 --> 00:52:35,902
And still that did not get my attention.

1209
00:52:36,820 --> 00:52:40,115
It would not be until
that cocaine started to talk to me…

1210
00:52:40,866 --> 00:52:42,200
that it started to wake me up.

1211
00:52:42,284 --> 00:52:44,744
When cocaine talk to you,
it don't tell you what to do.

1212
00:52:44,828 --> 00:52:48,165
It's passive aggressive
in suggesting shit.

1213
00:52:48,248 --> 00:52:49,666
[crowd chuckles]

1214
00:52:49,749 --> 00:52:52,127
I remember I was standing around
not doing shit.

1215
00:52:53,003 --> 00:52:56,131
The cocaine walked up next to me
and whispered in my ear.

1216
00:52:57,132 --> 00:53:00,051
"Maybe it's time
to start thinking about sucking dick."

1217
00:53:00,135 --> 00:53:03,889
-I said, "That's it! I'm going to rehab!"
-[crowd roars with laughter]

1218
00:53:03,972 --> 00:53:08,143
Nigga, when I tell you I ran
eight and a half miles in three minutes--

1219
00:53:08,226 --> 00:53:09,144
You hear me?

1220
00:53:09,227 --> 00:53:12,606
-I was like, "No!"
-[crowd laughs]

1221
00:53:12,689 --> 00:53:15,609
The rehab was closed. "Open the door."
She said, "We closed."

1222
00:53:15,692 --> 00:53:18,236
I said, "I don't give a fuck!
I need to get inside."

1223
00:53:18,320 --> 00:53:21,489
[chuckles] She looked at me and went,
"Oh, baby."

1224
00:53:22,282 --> 00:53:24,659
"You heard the dick-sucking voice, huh?"

1225
00:53:24,743 --> 00:53:26,703
-[chuckles]
-[crowd laughs, applauds]

1226
00:53:26,786 --> 00:53:28,455
I said, "Yes, ma'am! Yes, I did!"

1227
00:53:28,538 --> 00:53:29,414
[crowd roars]

1228
00:53:29,497 --> 00:53:32,626
She let me in and I looked out the window.
I said, "Is dick out there?"

1229
00:53:32,709 --> 00:53:34,044
[crowd laughs]

1230
00:53:35,587 --> 00:53:37,505
[crowd chuckles]

1231
00:53:37,589 --> 00:53:39,674
But I can stand before you and say,

1232
00:53:39,758 --> 00:53:41,676
23 years, I've never sucked a dick.

1233
00:53:41,760 --> 00:53:43,303
[crowd laughs, cheers]

1234
00:53:45,472 --> 00:53:47,557
[applause continues]

1235
00:53:48,058 --> 00:53:49,851
When I tell that story,
my wife is like,

1236
00:53:49,935 --> 00:53:52,687
"See, you don't wanna suck dick,
what make you think we do?"

1237
00:53:52,771 --> 00:53:54,022
I said, "Julie…"

1238
00:53:54,105 --> 00:53:55,440
[crowd laughs]

1239
00:53:55,523 --> 00:53:58,276
"…my story ain't your story.
You understand?"

1240
00:53:59,110 --> 00:54:03,073
"I'm talking about sucking dick for drugs.
This, you sucking dick for love."

1241
00:54:03,156 --> 00:54:04,199
"You understand?"

1242
00:54:04,282 --> 00:54:05,784
[crowd chuckles]

1243
00:54:07,994 --> 00:54:09,329
[crowd laughs]

1244
00:54:09,412 --> 00:54:10,330
[chuckles]

1245
00:54:13,291 --> 00:54:14,584
[chuckles]

1246
00:54:15,085 --> 00:54:16,920
I don't even ask her for shit like that.

1247
00:54:17,003 --> 00:54:18,296
Her attitude is bad.

1248
00:54:18,380 --> 00:54:21,174
[crowd giggles]

1249
00:54:21,258 --> 00:54:24,135
You ask a woman for some head,
she's like, "Okay, fine."

1250
00:54:24,844 --> 00:54:26,930
Always act like
they got an attitude about it,

1251
00:54:27,013 --> 00:54:28,640
like it's going to discourage me.

1252
00:54:28,723 --> 00:54:30,267
[crowd laughs]

1253
00:54:30,350 --> 00:54:33,853
"I'm gonna talk you through it.
There you go. Now, now, there it is."

1254
00:54:33,937 --> 00:54:35,730
[crowd laughs]

1255
00:54:35,814 --> 00:54:38,984
[inhales] "Now, now, there. Shh…"
I don't know why we shush you.

1256
00:54:39,067 --> 00:54:40,360
"Shh. There it is."

1257
00:54:40,443 --> 00:54:43,405
[crowd laughs, cheers]

1258
00:54:43,488 --> 00:54:47,575
[chuckles] When y'all get home tonight,
y'all doing it, one of you go, "Now, now…"

1259
00:54:48,076 --> 00:54:50,161
And the other person go, "Shh…"

1260
00:54:50,245 --> 00:54:51,746
[crowd laughs]

1261
00:54:52,330 --> 00:54:53,915
[squeals]

1262
00:54:54,416 --> 00:54:55,375
[chuckles]

1263
00:54:55,458 --> 00:54:57,627
[crowd chuckles]

1264
00:54:57,711 --> 00:54:58,753
My job…

1265
00:54:59,546 --> 00:55:01,965
is to take the life lessons that work,

1266
00:55:02,924 --> 00:55:05,677
pull it through,
and leave the bullshit behind.

1267
00:55:06,761 --> 00:55:08,138
You know, like that's…

1268
00:55:08,680 --> 00:55:09,889
what I want to do.

1269
00:55:09,973 --> 00:55:12,434
And I think about times
when we failed at doing that.

1270
00:55:12,517 --> 00:55:14,227
You know, like coming up as a kid.

1271
00:55:14,728 --> 00:55:16,062
We weren't always great.

1272
00:55:17,147 --> 00:55:18,898
I have a stepsister Robin.

1273
00:55:19,899 --> 00:55:22,068
Robin is deaf.

1274
00:55:23,278 --> 00:55:25,947
And you would've thought
that Robin being deaf,

1275
00:55:26,448 --> 00:55:29,075
that we would've made
some accommodations for her.

1276
00:55:29,576 --> 00:55:32,454
[crowd chuckles]

1277
00:55:32,537 --> 00:55:34,539
Like somebody in our family

1278
00:55:35,290 --> 00:55:36,624
would know sign language.

1279
00:55:36,708 --> 00:55:40,503
[crowd laughs]

1280
00:55:40,587 --> 00:55:43,923
When I tell you we ain't shit as a family…

1281
00:55:44,632 --> 00:55:46,968
To this day, nobody ever thought.
[chuckles]

1282
00:55:47,469 --> 00:55:50,638
To this day, when we talk to Robin,
we just yell and stomp. Everybody.

1283
00:55:51,139 --> 00:55:54,017
"Robin! You want something to eat?!
Robin! Robin!"

1284
00:55:54,100 --> 00:55:57,103
[crowd laughs, applauds]

1285
00:56:00,065 --> 00:56:04,486
But we learned Robin got selective ears,
she hear what she wants to hear. Right?

1286
00:56:04,569 --> 00:56:07,572
"Robin, you want something to eat?"
"Uh-huh! I want some ice cream."

1287
00:56:07,655 --> 00:56:09,949
[crowd laughs]

1288
00:56:10,450 --> 00:56:12,577
"You gonna help us
wash these dishes, right?"

1289
00:56:13,078 --> 00:56:16,498
[crowd howls]

1290
00:56:16,998 --> 00:56:18,792
[chuckles] Fucker, you hear us.

1291
00:56:19,626 --> 00:56:22,045
We cannot communicate with Robin.

1292
00:56:22,128 --> 00:56:23,171
[crowd chuckles]

1293
00:56:23,254 --> 00:56:25,048
This caught up with my father one time.

1294
00:56:25,131 --> 00:56:29,803
I'll never forget. I was about 13, 12,
which means Robin was 18.

1295
00:56:29,886 --> 00:56:33,306
And I remember we were all
in the living room watching TV.

1296
00:56:34,349 --> 00:56:35,767
And from a distance,

1297
00:56:36,601 --> 00:56:37,977
all of a sudden, you heard:

1298
00:56:38,645 --> 00:56:39,479
"Uh-huh!"

1299
00:56:39,562 --> 00:56:40,647
[crowd titters]

1300
00:56:40,730 --> 00:56:41,648
"Yeah!"

1301
00:56:41,731 --> 00:56:43,149
[crowd chuckles]

1302
00:56:43,233 --> 00:56:44,150
"Uh-huh!"

1303
00:56:45,402 --> 00:56:46,236
"Yeah!"

1304
00:56:46,319 --> 00:56:47,320
[crowd titters]

1305
00:56:47,404 --> 00:56:49,322
And my father was like, "What? What?"

1306
00:56:49,906 --> 00:56:51,574
"What is that noise?"

1307
00:56:52,242 --> 00:56:53,368
Like, "I don't know."

1308
00:56:53,868 --> 00:56:55,870
My father decides to go investigate.

1309
00:56:56,371 --> 00:56:57,497
I go with.

1310
00:56:58,164 --> 00:57:00,625
[crowd laughs]

1311
00:57:00,708 --> 00:57:03,711
The noise keeps going.
"Uh-huh! Yeah!"

1312
00:57:04,671 --> 00:57:06,756
"Uh-huh! Yeah!"

1313
00:57:07,298 --> 00:57:08,967
[crowd chuckles]

1314
00:57:09,467 --> 00:57:12,512
Noise takes us through the kitchen,
down the basement steps.

1315
00:57:12,595 --> 00:57:13,847
Halfway down,

1316
00:57:13,930 --> 00:57:15,306
I know what's going on.

1317
00:57:16,099 --> 00:57:17,725
And I'm 13.

1318
00:57:17,809 --> 00:57:18,643
He's 36.

1319
00:57:18,726 --> 00:57:20,186
I know he know.

1320
00:57:20,728 --> 00:57:24,524
The closer we get to the noise,
the slower my father is walking.

1321
00:57:24,607 --> 00:57:25,859
[crowd laughs]

1322
00:57:25,942 --> 00:57:27,986
You would've thought we was
at a haunted house

1323
00:57:28,069 --> 00:57:29,654
at three o'clock in the morning.

1324
00:57:30,238 --> 00:57:31,322
Deep down in here,

1325
00:57:31,406 --> 00:57:35,660
my hand on his shoulder,
his hand on my hand, over his shoulder,

1326
00:57:35,743 --> 00:57:37,871
as we creep towards this noise.

1327
00:57:37,954 --> 00:57:39,497
"Uh-huh! Yeah!"

1328
00:57:40,123 --> 00:57:41,666
"Uh-huh! Yeah!"

1329
00:57:41,749 --> 00:57:46,463
[crowd roars with laughter]

1330
00:57:46,546 --> 00:57:47,380
[chuckles]

1331
00:57:49,674 --> 00:57:51,426
We come around the corner,

1332
00:57:51,509 --> 00:57:55,346
Robin and her boyfriend
are in there fucking…

1333
00:57:55,430 --> 00:57:56,389
[crowd laughs]

1334
00:57:56,473 --> 00:57:57,932
…like ain't nobody home!

1335
00:57:58,016 --> 00:57:58,850
[crowd laughs]

1336
00:57:58,933 --> 00:58:02,687
I've never seen my father
not know what to do, ever.

1337
00:58:02,770 --> 00:58:03,980
[crowd roars]

1338
00:58:04,063 --> 00:58:06,524
He's as far as away from you as them
as I am, right?

1339
00:58:06,608 --> 00:58:09,861
This is all he got,
"Robin! Stop all this fucking!"

1340
00:58:10,403 --> 00:58:12,322
"Stop all this fucking!"

1341
00:58:12,906 --> 00:58:14,908
They don't hear shit!

1342
00:58:14,991 --> 00:58:17,118
-"Uh-huh! Yeah!"
-[crowd roars]

1343
00:58:17,202 --> 00:58:18,870
"Uh-huh! Yeah!"

1344
00:58:18,953 --> 00:58:22,081
-I'm 12. I'm like, "Oh, my God!"
-[crowd howls]

1345
00:58:22,165 --> 00:58:24,042
"What is happening?"

1346
00:58:24,125 --> 00:58:25,793
[crowd laughs, applauds]

1347
00:58:25,877 --> 00:58:28,004
"Uh-huh! Yeah!"

1348
00:58:28,087 --> 00:58:29,172
[crowd howls]

1349
00:58:29,255 --> 00:58:33,301
Now my dad decides he's going to reach out
and touch old boy on the shoulder.

1350
00:58:33,384 --> 00:58:37,138
But I think he felt like he was going to
get sucked into a kind of weird threesome.

1351
00:58:37,222 --> 00:58:40,517
So he's reaching to them,
holding my hand, I'm holding the door.

1352
00:58:40,600 --> 00:58:41,434
[crowd howls]

1353
00:58:41,518 --> 00:58:42,852
He's reaching, they fucking.

1354
00:58:42,936 --> 00:58:44,812
He's yelling, "Robin!"

1355
00:58:44,896 --> 00:58:45,813
[crowd laughs]

1356
00:58:45,897 --> 00:58:48,816
"Stop this fucking!"

1357
00:58:48,900 --> 00:58:49,943
[laughter continues]

1358
00:58:50,026 --> 00:58:52,904
I'm like, "Oh, my God!"

1359
00:58:53,404 --> 00:58:54,739
[crowd cheers]

1360
00:58:54,822 --> 00:58:55,657
[chuckles]

1361
00:58:55,740 --> 00:58:58,743
[crowd laughs, howls]

1362
00:59:03,581 --> 00:59:06,626
[crowd chuckles]

1363
00:59:07,126 --> 00:59:10,129
On the nightstand is a glass of water.

1364
00:59:10,838 --> 00:59:14,300
My father picks it up,
throws it on both of them.

1365
00:59:14,384 --> 00:59:16,344
[sharp exhale] They separate.

1366
00:59:16,844 --> 00:59:20,431
My father's like, "What the fuck, Robin?
What the fuck are you doing?"

1367
00:59:20,932 --> 00:59:23,810
Robin was like, "I didn't know. I didn't--
I didn't know."

1368
00:59:23,893 --> 00:59:26,896
[crowd howls with laughter]

1369
00:59:29,315 --> 00:59:31,859
My father looked at her
and went, "Uh-huh…"

1370
00:59:31,943 --> 00:59:33,194
-[crowd] Yeah.
-"Yeah!"

1371
00:59:33,278 --> 00:59:34,904
I'm David Arnold, y'all!

1372
00:59:34,988 --> 00:59:36,489
Thank you very much!

1373
00:59:36,573 --> 00:59:37,949
I fuck with y'all.

1374
00:59:38,032 --> 00:59:40,118
[crowd cheers, applauds]

1375
00:59:40,201 --> 00:59:41,619
Thank you.

1376
00:59:41,703 --> 00:59:43,705
[cheering continues]

1377
00:59:48,710 --> 00:59:50,670
[applause continues]

1378
00:59:52,922 --> 00:59:55,466
[crowd cheers]

1379
00:59:58,511 --> 01:00:00,054
[whistling]

1380
01:00:02,932 --> 01:00:05,143
[whistling, cheering]

1381
01:00:10,565 --> 01:00:14,485
[cheering and applause continue]

1382
01:00:25,246 --> 01:00:28,875
The reason that I called the special
It Ain't For The Weak,

1383
01:00:28,958 --> 01:00:31,878
because I've been doing this for 27 years,

1384
01:00:32,420 --> 01:00:33,796
inside of a vacuum,

1385
01:00:33,880 --> 01:00:36,883
pretty much on the underbelly
of this business,

1386
01:00:37,592 --> 01:00:41,262
and to have the passion
that I have to do this

1387
01:00:41,929 --> 01:00:43,848
still at this point…

1388
01:00:45,600 --> 01:00:46,893
You can't do that

1389
01:00:47,852 --> 01:00:50,813
and not have some type of strength
to push through. It's not--

1390
01:00:50,897 --> 01:00:53,274
You want to be in this business,
it's not for the weak.

1391
01:00:53,358 --> 01:00:54,859
So I'm getting ready to go on tour

1392
01:00:54,942 --> 01:00:58,655
and I'm doing 20 cities
between now and January 29th,

1393
01:00:58,738 --> 01:01:02,116
when I perform and record
my second Netflix special,

1394
01:01:02,617 --> 01:01:07,288
and I guess that means I will probably
have run this set about a hundred times,

1395
01:01:07,372 --> 01:01:10,124
and over the next several months

1396
01:01:10,208 --> 01:01:15,380
I will be prepping and tweaking
and punching and cutting

1397
01:01:15,463 --> 01:01:19,759
and, uh, doing the set again
and again and again.

1398
01:01:19,842 --> 01:01:25,973
["You're the One" by the O'Jays plays]

1399
01:01:26,057 --> 01:01:29,686
[David] A few years ago, I started posting
comedy videos on social media

1400
01:01:29,769 --> 01:01:30,728
about my family

1401
01:01:30,812 --> 01:01:31,688
and with my family.

1402
01:01:32,355 --> 01:01:34,982
Since then,
my social media following has exploded

1403
01:01:35,066 --> 01:01:38,152
and that has brought
awareness to my stand-up comedy.

1404
01:01:38,236 --> 01:01:39,696
Be ready. Have something to say.

1405
01:01:39,779 --> 01:01:43,783
So, uh, we getting ready to discuss
where we going on family vacation,

1406
01:01:43,866 --> 01:01:45,743
again, like we do every year.

1407
01:01:45,827 --> 01:01:49,372
-Yes.
-And so I've gathered the, uh, the three…

1408
01:01:49,455 --> 01:01:50,998
uh… people in the other--

1409
01:01:51,082 --> 01:01:52,041
-People?
-People?

1410
01:01:52,125 --> 01:01:54,127
The other three people that live here.

1411
01:01:54,210 --> 01:01:55,712
So we can see what they--

1412
01:01:55,795 --> 01:01:59,090
You mean the people who count,
whose opinions matter-- matters the most.

1413
01:01:59,173 --> 01:02:01,926
No. No.
The people who make you successful. Yes.

1414
01:02:02,009 --> 01:02:03,302
I'm cutting all that out.

1415
01:02:03,386 --> 01:02:04,595
Okay. So here we go.

1416
01:02:04,679 --> 01:02:06,431
I honestly believe that

1417
01:02:06,514 --> 01:02:08,474
David and I were brought on--

1418
01:02:08,558 --> 01:02:12,562
We-- We were brought on this earth
to be for each other.

1419
01:02:12,645 --> 01:02:16,607
Like we were--
God put us here for each other.

1420
01:02:16,691 --> 01:02:20,945
Like he was brought here to be my partner,
and I was brought here to be his partner.

1421
01:02:21,028 --> 01:02:26,242
I feel like, when I watch him do stand-up
and he's talking about our family, um…

1422
01:02:26,325 --> 01:02:28,244
that I begin to relive it again.

1423
01:02:28,327 --> 01:02:30,621
And I see his point of view
in some things.

1424
01:02:30,705 --> 01:02:33,875
A lot of times,
I want to come up on stage and be like,

1425
01:02:33,958 --> 01:02:36,836
"But I need to tell you guys,
like, my point of view." [laughs]

1426
01:02:36,919 --> 01:02:40,465
I want to share, like, where--
what I feel and what I think.

1427
01:02:40,548 --> 01:02:46,095
But most of the time I'm just too busy
laughing to even consider doing that.

1428
01:02:46,179 --> 01:02:48,639
Got two, a 14, 16-year-old.
Let me tell you something.

1429
01:02:48,723 --> 01:02:51,309
These-- First of all, these,
these new kids,

1430
01:02:51,392 --> 01:02:55,396
they the most entitled group of people
that I've ever met in my life.

1431
01:02:55,480 --> 01:02:56,981
-You hear me?
-[crowd applauds]

1432
01:02:57,064 --> 01:02:58,399
But here's the thing.

1433
01:02:58,483 --> 01:03:01,778
I know they like this
because we made them like this.

1434
01:03:01,861 --> 01:03:04,071
-Hi, I'm Anna Grace.
-I'm Ashlyn.

1435
01:03:04,155 --> 01:03:05,948
I am the oldest Arnold sister.

1436
01:03:06,032 --> 01:03:09,160
-I'm the youngest and I'm 14.
-And I am 16.

1437
01:03:09,243 --> 01:03:11,496
It's actually been really fun
growing up with my dad.

1438
01:03:11,579 --> 01:03:16,542
I feel like he's…
he makes everything so fun and funny.

1439
01:03:16,626 --> 01:03:18,836
Honestly… Um…

1440
01:03:18,920 --> 01:03:22,215
I think it's been fun
growing up with my dad.

1441
01:03:22,298 --> 01:03:24,300
I mean, he's made everything
also really fun.

1442
01:03:24,383 --> 01:03:25,802
But also he's a father.

1443
01:03:25,885 --> 01:03:28,513
So he's going to be strict
and give us rules.

1444
01:03:28,596 --> 01:03:31,557
-So, yeah.
-Like we can never take him seriously.

1445
01:03:31,641 --> 01:03:33,684
-Yeah.
-'Cause he's a comedian, always funny.

1446
01:03:33,768 --> 01:03:38,773
So any time he's trying to lecture us,
I just look at him like, "That's funny."

1447
01:03:38,856 --> 01:03:40,608
'Cause he just doesn't know sometimes.

1448
01:03:40,691 --> 01:03:43,069
-It's hard to take him seriously.
-Yeah.

1449
01:03:44,737 --> 01:03:48,115
[David] Tonight, I'll be performing at
the Laugh Factory on Sunset,

1450
01:03:48,199 --> 01:03:54,247
which is a club I have been performing at
since I started doing stand-up.

1451
01:03:54,330 --> 01:03:57,875
And Jamie Masada, the owner of the club,

1452
01:03:57,959 --> 01:04:00,628
um, has always been very supportive of me,

1453
01:04:00,711 --> 01:04:03,339
and you know, we--
It's a night of working out.

1454
01:04:03,422 --> 01:04:05,091
Me and my friends are gonna perform

1455
01:04:05,174 --> 01:04:08,719
and hang out and talk shit afterwards
like comedians do.

1456
01:04:08,803 --> 01:04:09,637
Um…

1457
01:04:10,137 --> 01:04:13,808
It's all a part
of getting ready for the special.

1458
01:04:13,891 --> 01:04:16,435
-So how did you prep for the special?
-Tour.

1459
01:04:17,019 --> 01:04:19,438
I went-- I did like 20 cities.

1460
01:04:19,522 --> 01:04:23,985
Literally, like for the last six months,
20 cities, five shows per city,

1461
01:04:24,068 --> 01:04:25,653
so a hundred times.

1462
01:04:25,736 --> 01:04:27,822
I've done this set a hundred times.

1463
01:04:27,905 --> 01:04:30,157
-You are Mr. Structure.
-Yes.

1464
01:04:30,241 --> 01:04:32,785
It could be a fire over here,
a kid getting kidnapped…

1465
01:04:32,869 --> 01:04:34,245
-[laughs]
-Seriously!

1466
01:04:34,328 --> 01:04:35,705
"Dave, there's a kid!"

1467
01:04:35,788 --> 01:04:38,207
-"Forget about that, stay on the set."
-"Traffic."

1468
01:04:38,291 --> 01:04:41,127
He'd be like,
"Nigga, fuck your little jokes."

1469
01:04:41,210 --> 01:04:47,049
[upbeat music plays]

1470
01:04:47,133 --> 01:04:48,593
[woman] You were in bed with Paul.

1471
01:04:48,676 --> 01:04:50,595
And I remember Paul looked at you
and said,

1472
01:04:50,678 --> 01:04:53,347
"Uh, Anna Mae, this boy
gonna be nothing but a clown."

1473
01:04:53,431 --> 01:04:55,391
-[David] Yes.
-[Anna] Can you believe that?

1474
01:04:55,474 --> 01:04:56,350
-[David] Yes.
-He was--

1475
01:04:56,434 --> 01:04:59,145
[David] He said I was gonna be
nothing but a clown.

1476
01:04:59,228 --> 01:05:01,898
-[Anna] Look at you.
-[David] When I was six months old.

1477
01:05:01,981 --> 01:05:04,400
[Anna] I know. Look at you now,
a straight-up clown.

1478
01:05:04,483 --> 01:05:05,443
-[David] Yep.
-Wow.

1479
01:05:05,526 --> 01:05:07,945
Like, coming here and doing this…

1480
01:05:08,905 --> 01:05:12,450
I feel like I've done
what I was supposed to do.

1481
01:05:13,326 --> 01:05:14,410
And I feel like…

1482
01:05:15,411 --> 01:05:16,662
I can put this…

1483
01:05:18,539 --> 01:05:20,374
to bed and I can let this go.

1484
01:05:21,417 --> 01:05:24,879
'Cause I take all of this with me
everywhere I go,

1485
01:05:24,962 --> 01:05:29,884
all of this good stuff that I learned here
from my grandfather and my grandmother.

1486
01:05:30,885 --> 01:05:33,471
It's good to be in my hometown
of Cleveland, Ohio.

1487
01:05:34,347 --> 01:05:37,475
-[Tammi] Well, well, well…
-Hey, hey, hey, what's up?

1488
01:05:37,975 --> 01:05:38,893
[both chuckling]

1489
01:05:38,976 --> 01:05:41,062
-[David] What's up?
-[Tammi] Good to see you.

1490
01:05:41,145 --> 01:05:41,979
[David laughs]

1491
01:05:42,605 --> 01:05:44,231
Good to see you. Looking good.

1492
01:05:44,315 --> 01:05:45,274
Yeah. Where's Mama?

1493
01:05:45,358 --> 01:05:48,819
[sighs] You know your mother's in there,
running things like she always does.

1494
01:05:48,903 --> 01:05:50,738
[chuckles] Trying to take over my house.

1495
01:05:50,821 --> 01:05:54,492
I heard my mother give my sister
advice when I was 11. It changed my life.

1496
01:05:55,117 --> 01:05:58,120
She's like, "You don't never date no man
that don't wear no watch."

1497
01:05:58,204 --> 01:05:59,038
I said, "Why?"

1498
01:05:59,121 --> 01:06:01,624
She said, "No watch means
he don't care what time it is,

1499
01:06:01,707 --> 01:06:04,961
which means he ain't got shit to do."
I said, "Goddamn!"

1500
01:06:05,044 --> 01:06:06,295
[crowd laughs]

1501
01:06:06,379 --> 01:06:08,339
[mom] I think David and I
have always been--

1502
01:06:08,422 --> 01:06:11,467
I've been-- always been very honest
with all of my children.

1503
01:06:11,550 --> 01:06:14,804
I never pres-- I never presented myself
as a perfect mother.

1504
01:06:14,887 --> 01:06:17,723
-Because I wasn't, I was human.
-Yeah.

1505
01:06:17,807 --> 01:06:19,934
And I made mistakes in my humanness,

1506
01:06:20,017 --> 01:06:23,854
but I always wanted David
and all my children to see my humanness.

1507
01:06:23,938 --> 01:06:25,648
Because all of us are human.

1508
01:06:25,731 --> 01:06:29,276
And I was probably a little bit
too honest with some things.

1509
01:06:29,360 --> 01:06:30,528
-Yes.
-But-- [chuckles]

1510
01:06:30,611 --> 01:06:32,697
-You told me my father wasn't my father.
-Yes.

1511
01:06:32,780 --> 01:06:34,949
-He was very upset about that.
-Yes, I know.

1512
01:06:35,032 --> 01:06:36,867
[David] When I was 17,

1513
01:06:38,119 --> 01:06:39,912
I found out that

1514
01:06:39,996 --> 01:06:41,831
who, uh, raised me, Eddie,

1515
01:06:42,540 --> 01:06:44,917
was actually my adoptive father,

1516
01:06:45,418 --> 01:06:48,337
and I thought that
that was my biological father.

1517
01:06:49,505 --> 01:06:52,842
And everybody knew but me.

1518
01:06:52,925 --> 01:06:53,759
Dad!

1519
01:06:55,136 --> 01:06:56,262
-Dad!
-[dad] Who's that?

1520
01:06:56,345 --> 01:06:57,972
-[David] Hey!
-[dad] Dave!

1521
01:06:58,055 --> 01:07:00,266
-What's happening, dude?
-[David] What's up, man?

1522
01:07:00,349 --> 01:07:02,643
-[dad] What you doing?
-[chuckles] How you doing?

1523
01:07:02,727 --> 01:07:04,395
-[dad] Good.
-[David] Good to see you.

1524
01:07:04,478 --> 01:07:06,939
Man, I'm not used to you
coming out the house like that.

1525
01:07:07,023 --> 01:07:08,065
-You know.
-[laughs]

1526
01:07:08,149 --> 01:07:12,361
[chuckles] I ain't. When I seen you,
you know what I was thinking about?

1527
01:07:12,445 --> 01:07:15,239
I-- I remember you coming across
that lawn,

1528
01:07:15,322 --> 01:07:17,616
when you were
supposed to be out looking for a job.

1529
01:07:17,700 --> 01:07:18,826
-Remember that?
-[laughs]

1530
01:07:18,909 --> 01:07:21,746
Know what I'm saying?
I was never supposed to do nothing

1531
01:07:21,829 --> 01:07:22,663
but do this.

1532
01:07:22,747 --> 01:07:24,457
My father, he never understood that.

1533
01:07:24,540 --> 01:07:27,710
My father-- I grew up-- My father--
My father is--

1534
01:07:27,793 --> 01:07:29,795
My father's an engineer, he's retired.

1535
01:07:29,879 --> 01:07:30,963
He works.

1536
01:07:31,047 --> 01:07:35,468
He like-- He don't get not working.
You understand? That don't make no sense.

1537
01:07:35,551 --> 01:07:39,555
When I was a kid, he was like, "I've never
seen nobody fuck around and play all day."

1538
01:07:39,638 --> 01:07:40,931
[crowd laughs]

1539
01:07:41,015 --> 01:07:44,268
"That's all you do.
Fuck around and play and fuck around."

1540
01:07:44,351 --> 01:07:46,270
What? What? Why? Why?

1541
01:07:46,353 --> 01:07:48,397
-What is it?
-I was just cleaning out the--

1542
01:07:48,481 --> 01:07:50,399
Clean-- Cleaning up my drawer.

1543
01:07:50,483 --> 01:07:52,735
I started finding all kinds of stuff, man.

1544
01:07:52,818 --> 01:07:56,322
I found a receipt. Remember receipts
when I got you out of jail six times?

1545
01:07:56,405 --> 01:07:58,741
[laughs] Why does the number grow
every time?

1546
01:07:58,824 --> 01:08:01,202
-No. It was really seven times.
-[chuckles]

1547
01:08:01,285 --> 01:08:05,539
My stepmother would watch us all weekend
'cause my father would work on his car.

1548
01:08:05,623 --> 01:08:07,583
My stepmother always had an attitude.

1549
01:08:07,666 --> 01:08:09,919
She wore a robe that didn't have
no string on it,

1550
01:08:10,002 --> 01:08:11,337
she held it with one hand.

1551
01:08:11,420 --> 01:08:13,589
Always had a cigarette,
and would cuss us out.

1552
01:08:13,672 --> 01:08:15,883
"You goddamn kids
get on my goddamn nerves."

1553
01:08:15,966 --> 01:08:16,967
[crowd laughs]

1554
01:08:17,051 --> 01:08:20,096
[David] I just know that you…

1555
01:08:21,222 --> 01:08:22,640
[stepmom] Would be agitated.

1556
01:08:22,723 --> 01:08:24,600
Would be agitated, but the thing that I--

1557
01:08:24,683 --> 01:08:27,937
And I told him this,
and I just got to tell you that…

1558
01:08:28,437 --> 01:08:30,022
How much I appreciate…

1559
01:08:30,981 --> 01:08:31,816
[chuckles]

1560
01:08:31,899 --> 01:08:34,485
…you taking care of us.

1561
01:08:34,568 --> 01:08:36,946
-Oh…
-Because I know it wasn't easy.

1562
01:08:37,029 --> 01:08:41,075
And when I see this, I go--
I don't know how you didn't…

1563
01:08:41,158 --> 01:08:42,284
-Kill you.
-Kill me.

1564
01:08:42,368 --> 01:08:44,078
[all laugh]

1565
01:08:44,161 --> 01:08:47,248
I think the thing for me is that…

1566
01:08:48,582 --> 01:08:51,210
That means the most is that you--
That you--

1567
01:08:51,293 --> 01:08:55,840
How you gave me your name,
and you adopted me and took care of me.

1568
01:08:56,340 --> 01:08:59,593
Even after you and Mom got divorced,
and you didn't have to do that.

1569
01:08:59,677 --> 01:09:01,011
Well, David, it's like…

1570
01:09:01,095 --> 01:09:01,929
[clears throat]

1571
01:09:02,638 --> 01:09:06,142
Just because you make a baby,
don't mean you going to be a father.

1572
01:09:06,225 --> 01:09:10,563
It takes a father to raise a child
and to make him into a man.

1573
01:09:10,646 --> 01:09:11,772
To be honest with you,

1574
01:09:11,856 --> 01:09:14,441
I loved you
from the first moment I saw you.

1575
01:09:14,525 --> 01:09:16,610
You were about four months old

1576
01:09:16,694 --> 01:09:21,782
and I've loved you
every, every, every moment since then.

1577
01:09:21,866 --> 01:09:24,160
Then I realized
what my stepfather taught me.

1578
01:09:24,243 --> 01:09:27,955
In 2005, when I watched him get inducted
into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

1579
01:09:28,038 --> 01:09:29,957
with The O'Jays right over here.

1580
01:09:30,040 --> 01:09:34,420
[crowd cheers, applauds]

1581
01:09:34,920 --> 01:09:38,007
That he taught me something
that I didn't even realize he taught me,

1582
01:09:38,090 --> 01:09:39,466
which is to never quit.

1583
01:09:39,550 --> 01:09:43,387
As long as I've known him, to this day,
81 years old, he still does not quit.

1584
01:09:43,470 --> 01:09:46,056
Every time I see him.
"What's happening? I got a meeting."

1585
01:09:46,140 --> 01:09:48,642
-"Ain't no goddamn meetings, it's over."
-[crowd laughs]

1586
01:09:48,726 --> 01:09:49,560
[music plays]

1587
01:09:49,643 --> 01:09:51,729
-[man] Here we go.
-[David] I'm not gonna lie.

1588
01:09:51,812 --> 01:09:54,773
I'm very excited about being in here,
'cause I've never been here.

1589
01:09:55,524 --> 01:09:57,568
[man chuckles] Wow.

1590
01:09:58,068 --> 01:10:00,696
-[David] Yeah.
-I-- I just took it for granted that--

1591
01:10:00,779 --> 01:10:01,655
That I was here?

1592
01:10:01,739 --> 01:10:04,200
[man] I mean that you had
been down here before.

1593
01:10:04,283 --> 01:10:06,535
Whatever dreams that you have,

1594
01:10:07,369 --> 01:10:08,871
just work on doing that.

1595
01:10:09,580 --> 01:10:11,081
You know what I'm saying?

1596
01:10:11,165 --> 01:10:13,542
That's all you can do, is put the work in.

1597
01:10:14,043 --> 01:10:17,129
The work ends up with good results.

1598
01:10:17,630 --> 01:10:19,506
-If you just put the work in.
-Mm-hm.

1599
01:10:20,007 --> 01:10:21,592
[David] So, wow, do you--?

1600
01:10:22,092 --> 01:10:23,552
Do you remember this picture?

1601
01:10:24,553 --> 01:10:25,387
[Bobby] Yep.

1602
01:10:25,930 --> 01:10:28,140
At Leo's-- We took that at Leo's Casino.

1603
01:10:28,224 --> 01:10:29,433
[David] And who's old boy?

1604
01:10:29,934 --> 01:10:31,810
Freddie Arrington, he was the emcee.

1605
01:10:32,436 --> 01:10:33,395
Wow.

1606
01:10:33,479 --> 01:10:35,481
So, like-- So, like, doing…

1607
01:10:36,899 --> 01:10:39,235
Leo's Casino was like doing the Apollo?

1608
01:10:40,402 --> 01:10:41,237
[sighs]

1609
01:10:42,154 --> 01:10:47,743
Leo's, or Leo's Casino,
was, uh, the big place in Cleveland

1610
01:10:48,244 --> 01:10:49,828
where all of the shows came.

1611
01:10:49,912 --> 01:10:50,829
Wow.

1612
01:10:50,913 --> 01:10:53,582
And Freddie Arrington was the emcee.

1613
01:10:53,666 --> 01:10:55,251
-He always emceed.
-Right.

1614
01:10:55,334 --> 01:10:56,293
You know.

1615
01:10:56,794 --> 01:11:00,005
-Uh, most of the shows at Leo's Casino--
-How old were y'all?

1616
01:11:01,257 --> 01:11:03,300
In our twenties, early twenties.

1617
01:11:04,468 --> 01:11:07,805
I think I'm most proud of David, uh,

1618
01:11:07,888 --> 01:11:11,600
seeing him be as successful as he is.

1619
01:11:11,684 --> 01:11:15,604
His writing skills.
His acting skills. His, um…

1620
01:11:16,438 --> 01:11:17,898
his comedy skills,

1621
01:11:17,982 --> 01:11:21,443
but I think I'm most proud
of who he is as a man.

1622
01:11:21,527 --> 01:11:24,029
I'm most proud of David's character.

1623
01:11:24,113 --> 01:11:26,865
I love the way he fathers his children.

1624
01:11:26,949 --> 01:11:29,910
I love the way he, he loves his wife.

1625
01:11:29,994 --> 01:11:35,374
So it tells me that I raised a man
of extraordinary character,

1626
01:11:35,457 --> 01:11:37,293
and that makes me happy.

1627
01:11:37,376 --> 01:11:40,462
I graduated from high school with a 1.8.
Do you understand?

1628
01:11:40,963 --> 01:11:42,798
No, listen to me. I did not-- I--

1629
01:11:42,881 --> 01:11:45,009
I don't even know if I graduated,
to be honest.

1630
01:11:45,092 --> 01:11:47,678
I just left with them niggas I came with,
I swear to God.

1631
01:11:48,679 --> 01:11:52,141
There's no doubt that this is
exactly what I'm supposed to be doing.

1632
01:11:52,224 --> 01:11:56,937
There's no doubt that I graduated
from high school with a 1.8 for a reason.

1633
01:11:57,438 --> 01:12:01,233
There's no doubt that I've been
in and out of rehab three times.

1634
01:12:01,317 --> 01:12:06,447
'Cause I needed all of those experiences
to make me be exactly who I am today.

1635
01:12:06,530 --> 01:12:08,949
So I can tell the stories that I tell.

1636
01:12:09,033 --> 01:12:12,036
I graduated from here
at the bottom of my class.

1637
01:12:13,120 --> 01:12:17,041
I graduated from this school
with a 1.8 GPA.

1638
01:12:17,124 --> 01:12:18,042
Wow.

1639
01:12:18,125 --> 01:12:20,544
I did-- I just did not--

1640
01:12:20,627 --> 01:12:22,838
My mind was always

1641
01:12:23,339 --> 01:12:24,757
somewhere else.

1642
01:12:24,840 --> 01:12:26,675
I was always like,

1643
01:12:27,468 --> 01:12:28,635
I don't know what it was.

1644
01:12:28,719 --> 01:12:32,389
It was just, this, this place was
so huge to me…

1645
01:12:32,473 --> 01:12:33,307
Hmm.

1646
01:12:33,390 --> 01:12:37,144
…and it felt like everything was going
around me a thousand miles an hour.

1647
01:12:37,227 --> 01:12:38,395
So do you remember this?

1648
01:12:38,479 --> 01:12:41,565
The Gallery of Success,
like our Hall of Fame for Beachwood?

1649
01:12:42,066 --> 01:12:43,984
Yes, I do remember this.

1650
01:12:44,068 --> 01:12:46,445
We went to the same-- This is my class.

1651
01:12:46,987 --> 01:12:48,989
-[Bob] Yeah. '86.
-We graduated from the--

1652
01:12:49,073 --> 01:12:51,867
He's on-- 'Cause he's a television writer
and producer.

1653
01:12:51,950 --> 01:12:54,161
-[Kevin] Mm-hm.
-Hollywood comedy writer.

1654
01:12:54,244 --> 01:12:55,621
All right. So when am I…?

1655
01:12:55,704 --> 01:12:56,538
[chuckles]

1656
01:12:56,622 --> 01:12:58,957
-Come on, I need to be on the wall.
-Hey…

1657
01:12:59,041 --> 01:12:59,875
[all laugh]

1658
01:12:59,958 --> 01:13:02,169
I need--
Jonathan didn't bring Netflix here.

1659
01:13:02,252 --> 01:13:04,380
-I need to be on the wall.
-[men chuckling]

1660
01:13:04,463 --> 01:13:06,048
This is incredible.

1661
01:13:06,131 --> 01:13:08,175
The Comedy Cellar is like

1662
01:13:08,258 --> 01:13:11,387
what the Laugh Factory
and The Comedy Store is in LA.

1663
01:13:11,470 --> 01:13:14,681
It is the Mecca of comedy in New York.

1664
01:13:14,765 --> 01:13:19,144
The Cellar is where everybody
who's anybody goes to work on their act.

1665
01:13:19,228 --> 01:13:22,356
Soon as I left, two weeks into me leaving,
my wife texts me.

1666
01:13:22,439 --> 01:13:24,608
She's like, "Do you miss us?" [chuckles]

1667
01:13:24,691 --> 01:13:26,318
I was like, "I gotta be honest…"

1668
01:13:26,402 --> 01:13:27,403
[crowd titters]

1669
01:13:27,486 --> 01:13:28,487
"I'm fine, okay?"

1670
01:13:28,570 --> 01:13:29,696
[crowd laughs]

1671
01:13:29,780 --> 01:13:31,407
We've been at home for 18 months,

1672
01:13:31,490 --> 01:13:33,951
let's not act like
we're not on each other's nerves.

1673
01:13:34,034 --> 01:13:35,119
Like this.

1674
01:13:35,202 --> 01:13:36,703
We're in New York, in Manhattan.

1675
01:13:36,787 --> 01:13:40,332
I'm headlining, uh,
Caroline's Comedy Club, on Broadway.

1676
01:13:40,416 --> 01:13:43,377
I remember walking into that room
and it being so big,

1677
01:13:43,460 --> 01:13:46,255
and like the whole moment.

1678
01:13:46,755 --> 01:13:48,173
Because Caroline's is such a--

1679
01:13:48,257 --> 01:13:52,553
You know, it's a classic, historic place
for stand-up in New York.

1680
01:13:52,636 --> 01:13:55,639
"Oh! We can't have the children fall
and hurt themselves."

1681
01:13:56,140 --> 01:13:58,684
This is why they all got peanut allergies.
This is why.

1682
01:13:58,767 --> 01:13:59,768
[crowd chuckles]

1683
01:13:59,852 --> 01:14:02,604
Participation trophies
and peanut allergies are linked.

1684
01:14:02,688 --> 01:14:03,647
I'm telling you.

1685
01:14:03,730 --> 01:14:04,690
Full house.

1686
01:14:04,773 --> 01:14:05,858
-It is?
-Yeah.

1687
01:14:05,941 --> 01:14:07,818
-All right. You got it.
-Sold out, man.

1688
01:14:07,901 --> 01:14:09,403
-Huh?
-Sold out.

1689
01:14:09,486 --> 01:14:10,320
That's great.

1690
01:14:10,404 --> 01:14:13,407
-Are you feeling a little nervous?
-Oh, my God. What am I gonna do?

1691
01:14:13,490 --> 01:14:16,660
-I think I ask you that every show.
-Every show she asks if I'm nervous.

1692
01:14:16,743 --> 01:14:19,997
The comedy culture in New York
is completely different

1693
01:14:20,080 --> 01:14:22,666
than any that I've seen anywhere.

1694
01:14:23,167 --> 01:14:26,587
Comedians in New York
have a grind thing about them.

1695
01:14:28,505 --> 01:14:30,174
-[David] Thank you.
-Come on, cousin.

1696
01:14:30,257 --> 01:14:31,258
What's up, baby?

1697
01:14:31,341 --> 01:14:33,385
-Good, man. Nice crowd.
-Oh. Nice.

1698
01:14:33,469 --> 01:14:35,220
We reached those numbers and beyond.

1699
01:14:35,304 --> 01:14:36,138
[laughs]

1700
01:14:36,221 --> 01:14:37,556
Management's happy.

1701
01:14:37,639 --> 01:14:38,932
-What's up, man?
-Nailed it.

1702
01:14:39,016 --> 01:14:40,851
There's Chad. Yeah. Hey.

1703
01:14:40,934 --> 01:14:43,729
-What's up? How you doing?
-[Chad] Doing well, ready for the show.

1704
01:14:43,812 --> 01:14:45,564
What's up, Manny. Yes, let's do it.

1705
01:14:46,064 --> 01:14:47,316
[Christopher] This way.

1706
01:14:47,399 --> 01:14:50,360
[David] For years I've been doing stand-up

1707
01:14:50,444 --> 01:14:53,238
in a space of not knowing who I am.

1708
01:14:53,322 --> 01:14:56,492
This is the first time
that I've been on tour,

1709
01:14:56,575 --> 01:14:59,495
that I've been out,
in 27 years of doing this,

1710
01:14:59,578 --> 01:15:02,414
where people come to see me,
they bought tickets.

1711
01:15:02,498 --> 01:15:04,458
Tonight is sold out,

1712
01:15:04,541 --> 01:15:08,462
and all those people came
because they know who David A. Arnold is.

1713
01:15:08,545 --> 01:15:09,379
I love you.

1714
01:15:10,255 --> 01:15:11,131
What's up?

1715
01:15:11,924 --> 01:15:13,717
What's happening? I see you!

1716
01:15:13,800 --> 01:15:14,968
[crowd cheers]

1717
01:15:15,052 --> 01:15:15,969
[chuckles]

1718
01:15:16,053 --> 01:15:20,140
We are at the Hanna Theatre
in Cleveland, Ohio, um,

1719
01:15:20,224 --> 01:15:24,561
where I'm getting ready to tape
my second Netflix special tomorrow night.

1720
01:15:25,229 --> 01:15:27,231
Uh, this place will be…

1721
01:15:27,898 --> 01:15:28,982
on fire.

1722
01:15:31,527 --> 01:15:33,320
This didn't happen overnight.

1723
01:15:34,154 --> 01:15:36,323
Nothing I have was given to me.

1724
01:15:37,324 --> 01:15:40,410
Everything I've been blessed with
has been earned.

1725
01:15:40,494 --> 01:15:42,037
[upbeat music plays]

1726
01:15:42,120 --> 01:15:44,623
Some people will say
I came out of nowhere,

1727
01:15:44,706 --> 01:15:46,625
that I just appeared.

1728
01:15:47,626 --> 01:15:48,919
[David chuckles]

1729
01:15:49,002 --> 01:15:49,962
No.

1730
01:15:50,045 --> 01:15:53,173
I've been doing this for a long time.

1731
01:15:53,257 --> 01:15:54,258
Working,

1732
01:15:54,800 --> 01:15:55,676
pushing,

1733
01:15:56,218 --> 01:15:57,344
grinding.

1734
01:15:57,427 --> 01:16:02,558
Navigating and overcoming
rejection after rejection.

1735
01:16:03,141 --> 01:16:05,852
I've faced many obstacles in my journey,

1736
01:16:05,936 --> 01:16:09,940
the biggest being myself,
my mentality, and my attitude,

1737
01:16:10,023 --> 01:16:14,361
but, every day, I've worked to be
a little better than I was the day before.

1738
01:16:14,444 --> 01:16:16,697
I've come a long way from where I started,

1739
01:16:16,780 --> 01:16:19,032
and I still have a ways to go,

1740
01:16:19,116 --> 01:16:22,244
but that doesn't mean I'm not proud
of the things I've accomplished,

1741
01:16:22,327 --> 01:16:25,163
because those things
have made me better, stronger,

1742
01:16:25,247 --> 01:16:27,666
and more prepared for moments like this.

1743
01:16:29,334 --> 01:16:34,590
I want my family to know they have
a son, a brother, a father, and a husband

1744
01:16:34,673 --> 01:16:37,050
that gives it everything he's got.

1745
01:16:37,134 --> 01:16:40,304
So many people live their lives
making excuses.

1746
01:16:40,387 --> 01:16:43,390
I refuse to live
in the shadows of, "What if?"

1747
01:16:43,890 --> 01:16:46,685
Today is the day I step into my destiny.

1748
01:16:46,768 --> 01:16:49,313
This journey is not supposed to be easy.

1749
01:16:49,396 --> 01:16:51,148
It's supposed to be hard.

1750
01:16:51,231 --> 01:16:53,108
It's supposed to be challenging,

1751
01:16:53,984 --> 01:16:55,944
because this journey that I walk…

1752
01:16:56,028 --> 01:16:57,029
[crowd cheers]

1753
01:16:57,112 --> 01:16:58,572
…it ain't for the weak.

1754
01:16:58,655 --> 01:17:00,324
[announcer] Ladies and gentlemen,

1755
01:17:01,366 --> 01:17:06,288
David A. Arnold!

1756
01:17:06,371 --> 01:17:10,876
[crowd cheers]

1757
01:17:14,588 --> 01:17:16,548
[upbeat music plays]