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I saw The Adam Project, starring Ryan Reynolds.
It was fantastic.
The protagonist meets his younger self
as a grown man.
The movie is about them working together to overcome hardship.
A lot of art is made about meeting your past self.
You have to face who you were.
You have to face who you were when you first started head-on.
Because if you think who you've become would disappoint your past self,
there's no way you can motivate yourself to keep making art.
I usually praise my past self.
You praise yourself?
No, I mean my younger self. Because I know I worked hard back then.
I did well.
That's nice.
But I also like the idea of who you were in the past being proud of you now.
Because you've come so far.
I think my younger self would be proud of me now.
I started to sing only because there was this band prepping
for a school festival or something back in junior high.
Their singer caught a cold and couldn’t come to practice.
And the band said they couldn't rehearse without a singer,
so they asked me to fill in and just wing it.
They liked how I sang better so they dumped the other singer.
That's how things started.
It wasn't like I wanted to join a band.
I didn’t expect this to become my job.
Bands were really popular in Japan
around the time I was 12 or 13, when I entered junior high.
And that got me completely hooked.
All my friends picked up an instrument,
and I chose to play the guitar.
When I told my parents about it,
my dad handed me a classical guitar he bought when he was young.
That was the first time I played.
I had this friend whose family ran a cake shop.
I hung out at their place a lot because they gave me free cake.
This friend's brother started a band and I liked watching them.
Somehow I was sure that I could play the drums.
So I set up the kit without permission and played.
Turns out I was better than everyone.
My friend's brother and his band were really excited.
I'd never been praised like that.
I was absolutely ecstatic.
That's how I started.
My friends were forming a band when I was about to enter high school.
I guess they were desperate for another member.
They handed me a bass and begged me to play.
I don't know why I agreed. I must have been really bored.
It was kind of an accident.
How did I meet the other members?
Well, starting with Yuichi...
I mean, we're the same age and all. We connected in a ton of ways.
A childhood friend of mine went to the same high school as Yuichi
and introduced him to me.
My friend said Ubukata was this awesome guitarist.
Yuichi was on his bicycle.
I remember when we first met, I rode right past him on my bike.
so I had to circle back.
He was facing the other way when I first saw him.
To this day, I don't really get Yuichi.
Nobody can control him.
Back then, he wore purple lipstick
and pants covered in straps, even between the legs.
He looked really cool.
But the first thing I thought was
there's no way he could run in those pants if he got into a fight.
He's kind of an oddball, but people love him.
You all might think he's a weirdo, but I promise he isn't.
He's a strong person.
I think he likes to hide that though.
What can I say about Ubukata?
People see Ubukata as some upstanding citizen, but I beg to differ.
He may seem flawless, but he has another side.
If you look a little closer you'd see his dark side.
One time I was parking my car, and I heard a thump.
I looked back and Ubu's car had slammed into mine.
He was so casual, like nothing had happened.
Everyone should know about his dark side.
That was a new car.
But then again, maybe they shouldn't know.
To be clear, he's not a monster or anything.
He's a sore loser.
I mean, he's competitive.
Nobody works as hard as him, so he thinks he deserves to win.
That makes him reliable and a solid leader.
Well, Takahashi...
I think we performed at the same event early on.
We got to know a lot of other acts around our age,
and met Takahashi in the early days.
I heard nasty rumors about him.
He was kind of a bad boy.
When I was around 16 or 17, I would pick fights every day.
Every day of the week.
I was shocked.
When I first met him, he had this nerdy haircut.
He told me later he had tried tougher looking hairstyles
but decided the side part was the scariest looking.
He has a pure heart.
He loves people intensely, and he's very passionate.
Like, he cries when we sing to him on his birthday.
Honestly, it kind of weirded me out at first.
He cares more for others than himself.
He can be too intense for some people.
I don't understand Hosomi, even now.
Who you see on-stage is exactly who he is off-stage.
He's never changed.
I was fascinated from the moment we met. He's influenced me a lot.
Even now, I'm still just a fan of his.
He's got a stoic personality.
I know everything about him, good and bad,
but I admire him anyway.
Not just musically, but how he leads his life.
Just seeing the way he lives makes me want to get my act together.
The 3rd Stage means a lot to ELLEGARDEN.
That's where we met each other.
It was a music venue in the Motoyawata area of Ichikawa in Chiba Prefecture.
It's a commuter town.
We were tucked away in Chiba, so most of the acts were local kids.
The ELLEGARDEN guys performed there, but in different bands back then.
The venue was on the 1st floor of a shopping center.
There was a snooty staff member sitting at a counter by the entrance.
There was a lot of lighting behind the drum set.
It was kind of a strange space.
It was a unique venue, now that I think of it.
It was like an oasis for me.
I got positive, reassuring vibes just being there.
I was there all the time.
Even if I didn't have a gig, I'd go there just to hang out.
I really enjoyed it, but I didn't learn much of anything
at least as far as music is concerned.
But I got to know a lot of people at The 3rd Stage.
There was always someone I knew there.
I liked that part of it
but everybody was just there for fun.
I wondered if I needed to be there.
I loved it there, but I knew I had to move on.
Yuichi and Ubu's band and my band performed
at the same event.
They completely blew me away. Both of them were excellent.
That's how I met the two of them.
Hosomi was
a member of the best act that regularly performed at The 3rd Stage.
I heard people talk about this phenomenal band.
But I'd never seen them perform. I just heard stories.
I was in a band with Yuichi,
and one day we went out to the lobby for a break or something.
The recording booth's door opened, and I heard this song.
He was recording vocals.
The song was good, but the singer was phenomenal.
I just had to see who was singing. I peeked in and there was Hosomi.
It was like being hit with a baseball bat.
I was shocked by his talent.
I thought he was the best singer on the planet.
The song was "Yubiwa."
It's an ELLEGARDEN song now.
Hosomi used to perform that song with his previous band.
The song really impressed me, and so did the band.
I asked if we could add the song to our repertoire when Hosomi joined us.
I couldn't forget that.
What I had heard in that studio made a huge impression on me.
I was determined that he join the band.
So I tried to contact him,
but he had disappeared.
Quitting wasn't a big deal for me.
I was never obsessed with the idea of becoming a musician.
After I graduated from university, I went on a break and just lazed around.
I racked up gambling debts, so I got an office job to pay them off.
I was a complete mess, really.
I wasn't passionate about anything.
I knew I could do great things but I just wasn't trying.
I was a total loser.
I guess he gave up music or something, but I don't know.
Anyway, nobody could get in touch with him.
I tend to go to extremes.
But being debt-ridden and having my life spiral out of control
was a wake-up call.
I...
I was worried that I was useless, that I couldn't handle my own life.
So I decided to start again with a clean slate.
I deleted all the contact info on my cell phone
and left town without telling anyone.
I cut off all ties.
And that was that.
So I kept looking for a lead singer.
I told Takahashi about all of this. We had become friends by then.
I got a call from Ubu.
He was looking for Hosomi, and asked if I knew where he was.
I think I said no.
I needed a job.
So I wrote up a resume.
I got hired, and then was dispatched
to a major computer software developer.
They were starting a joint business
with a US firm, and I got sent because I could speak English.
I was a member of their technical transfer team for some time.
It feels like I was there forever.
Then out of the blue, Hosomi got in touch with Takahashi.
I only kept Takahashi's number.
I think that was fate.
He asked me how I was.
I told him I was fine.
It's not like I wanted to get back into music or anything.
I just thought a solo set at The 3rd Stage would be fun.
I told Takahashi that.
He said that I could do that, but...
"Ubu says he wants to form a band with you."
He told me to contact Ubu and I did.
Ubu said his band's singer quit and he asked me to join.
I met Hosomi in person.
He agreed to join.
Ubu put together a band with Hosomi and a drummer who wasn’t me.
I was just looking in from the outside.
I was so jealous it drove me nuts.
I really wanted to play with them.
I was furious they didn't pick me.
But then the drummer left right after Hosomi joined.
So we discussed what to do, and then...
I knew they'd ask me.
Takahashi's drumming had always impressed me.
I told Hosomi and Yuichi that I wanted Takahashi to join us.
I was working at a car wash when Ubu came along.
I thought, "Finally!"
"It's finally happening!"
So while I was cleaning his car, he asked me to join his band.
I said, "Sure."
Nobody knows this,
but I was the one who formed the band which evolved into ELLEGARDEN.
So practically speaking, I'm the founder of ELLEGARDEN.
But let's keep it a secret.
When we got started, I told the others...
He had no intention of getting popular or being swamped with work.
"I'm not going to listen to what anybody tells me to do. Never."
The first time the four of us got together in a studio...
That was the first time we rehearsed together.
It was Studio Sun in Nishi-Funabashi. Room G.
- Hello. - Hi.
This is where we first played together.
Really small space, huh?
We practiced a lot here.
Just looking at this place reminds me of the old ELLEGARDEN.
It's amazing how different it feels being here now.
It brings back memories.
We were always in this room.
Room G was the cheapest of the seven options.
So obviously we went with that.
All my drumming skills
are based on the practice I did here, sometimes without the band.
Oh, thank you.
He helped me a lot.
I got a job after I finished school, but I was fired.
He took me under his wing.
I owe him a lot.
They were tough.
Nothing could stop them.
There were so many other bands,
but they stood out from the crowd.
Thank you.
I helped him out with stuff.
Like counting cash and other kinds of things.
He also had a car washing business.
So I helped with that too.
- Oh that's right. - Yes.
It was at the car wash he was running.
Ubu asked me to join the band while I was washing his car there.
That's how I got together with them.
Speaking of which, he still hasn't paid for that car wash.
Really? He should pay up.
In the early days, the audience...
Nobody came.
Before releasing our first independent record, turnouts were small.
Totally empty.
I wracked my brain about how to get more people to come.
But there was no quick solution.
Hosomi was unfazed.
I never asked my friends to buy tickets.
I never begged anyone to come to our shows.
I never hawked tickets.
People would come if they wanted to hear us play.
At least, that's what I thought.
Not doing those things wasn't a choice. It just felt natural not to.
There was this person who asked me for a discount.
Another band was selling them for 500 yen cheaper.
The ticket was 2000 yen.
I was insulted that they'd even ask.
I told them ELLEGARDEN's performance would be worth full price
and if they wanted a discount, to go see another band.
We had faith in ourselves. We didn't question it.
Early on, we'd play for even just three or four people.
Very small crowds.
Without that faith, there’d be no ELLEGARDEN.
Ubukata was so confident in our music.
He insisted that we didn't need to grovel to get attention
so I could see he was getting frustrated.
Somehow, I remained confident.
I just knew.
I knew we were incredible.
Nobody knew about us until we released our indie record.
People say ELLEGARDEN came out of nowhere.
They say we were an overnight success.
That's totally wrong.
We were obscure for a long time.
Our fellow indie band friends were jealous
but we went through all the pain they did.
All four of us would stay in one room in hotels that cost next to nothing.
Really cheap places.
Back then, cheap places like that charged 100 yen per hour for AC.
You’d insert coins to turn it on.
We were completely broke, so when we did summer tours,
we slept in a single room, crowded together on the floor.
And the first one to give in to the heat would pay for the AC.
I paid for AC at least once. I don't know who else did.
I was so starved I almost shoplifted.
That was in Kushiro, Hokkaido.
Hosomi and Ubu would bring their guitars to CD stores.
Yuichi and I would go too.
They'd go up to the cashier, introduce the band, and say,
"We'd like you to stock our CDs, so here's a sample of our music."
And they'd start playing a song
right in front of the cash register.
That got the attention of everybody in the store.
They'd gather around, and Yuichi and I would pass out flyers.
We would try anything that gave us even a slight chance.
One time we invited talent scouts from record companies to a private show.
We only did that one time.
All the labels said the same thing.
"You’re great, but we can't sign you. You wouldn’t sell."
I thought that was insane.
Their whole job is to sell music, like any other product.
They were telling us that the product was great but it wouldn't sell.
That makes no sense.
I mean, a restaurant that serves great food will obviously profit.
High-quality products sell. That's their entire job.
I was fed up with that kind of industry nonsense.
We already knew our record was solid.
We thought we were the best.
But those music industry people
and their ridiculous way of thinking just blew my mind.
ELLEGARDEN...
I instantly fell in love with their music.
I've always respected them and I think they're incredible.
They were so new, people didn't know what to make of them.
They came out of nowhere.
They were a shock to the music world.
After releasingDon’t Trust Anyone But Us
we were on a roll.
I heard our sales went up too, though it didn’t matter to me.
That album title had an impact on me.Don’t Trust Anyone But Us.
I thought about the "us" part,
and how many people that word could encompass.
For me, the most important thing was...
I used to be terrible at relationships. I was always an outcast.
But when I performed, I finally got the attention I'd been craving.
We kept making records.
We went on performing a bunch of shows.
It's not like one particular song drew in a wave of new fans.
All we did were gigs. Make songs, record, and then perform.
We struck up friendships with other acts.
And slowly but surely, ELLEGARDEN got bigger.
Street performances were not my idea.
I didn't want to do it.
We had our van loaded with our gear parked around here.
We'd haul out our equipment the second the shutters closed.
We did that a ton.
Back then it didn't feel strange, but look at this place.
There were so many people around.
We performed in the middle of all this.
We must have been out of our minds.
And we were way too loud wherever we played.
We could do two songs maximum.
The police would show up and get right in our faces.
They were on guard, I guess.
The other guys were unfazed and just kept playing.
But it drove me crazy.
That happened a few times.
It was so embarrassing doing that right in the middle of Shibuya.
I mean, come on!
I didn't care.
I just liked playing music.
We busked nationwide.
In Hokkaido for three weeks,
Kushiro, Nagoya, Osaka, and Fukuoka.
Everywhere. We went to Sendai and Obihiro too.
It helped us build confidence.
We did a bunch of shows, traveling all over Japan in a Toyota Hiace van.
Luckily enough, the crowds would double with each gig,
wherever we went.
We started with two, then five, then ten people.
At first, it was hard to see.
But when 10 turns into 20, you notice. Then it's 40.
When it reaches 80, the club is full.
We weren't really paying attention to sales.
But ELLEGARDEN's sales doubled with each record.
You can't contain their level of quality
in the small venues they were playing at.
Their music was meant to be played in concert halls, not small clubs.
All my friends who I brought with me were in awe.
ELLEGARDEN's shows floored everyone.
Our audiences got bigger.
People normally shunned me, but not at our shows.
Suddenly so many people were excited to see me.
And the audiences were bigger each time. It felt insane.
It was the first time it felt good interacting with people.
They gave up their precious time to come to our shows.
They even paid money to come see us perform.
They were so pumped to see us.
Nobody had ever looked at me like that in my entire life.
I loved them for coming and even paying to see us.
I couldn't help but love them.
Our fans meant everything to me.
One day, I was in a hotel in Japan,
looking in the mirror and putting on makeup.
The TV was on.
I heard music.
It was a music video channel.
So I was just listening, not actually watching.
Then I noticed the lyrics were in English.
I thought the music was nice.
I assumed they were from an English-speaking country.
The US or the UK, or something.
I got curious and looked at the screen.
They didn't look European or American.
I watched the entire video until the end.
It said “ELLEGARDEN.”
I made a note of that.
To understand ELLEGARDEN,
you can't dissect their lyrics like a novel or something.
You can't just look at them at face value.
You have to understand Hosomi to understand them.
So their interviews, like the ones in rockin'on magazine, are important.
The culture of rock bands that played in festivals like Air Jam
followed certain patterns in their shows, their fashion,
and the types of melodies they used.
Though not bound by specific rules,
Japan's melodic hardcore scene had its own conventions.
But ELLEGARDEN was something new.
You could tell this band came from a different background.
Typically, bands that stand out in a particular scene
are influenced by a sibling who's into rock,
or they played at a famous rock venue or something like that.
You can trace their musical roots.
But for me, I wasn't influenced by anything like that.
In my case, I rented records from a shop near my local train station.
I picked based on the cover.
I'd listen to anything, from any year or country.
So there are no clear-cut roots in the songs I write.
After the album Bring Your Board!!, there was no stopping them.
Everything they put out was excellent.
I was excited with every release.
Every single song they put out was just flawless.
That was really a magical time for them.
I remember getting thrown off by the song "Surfrider Association."
Takahashi has said he can barely keep up with it.
We just did our best.
There were more beats that pissed Takahashi off in the songs...
in Bring Your Board!!.
They were beyond special.
ELLEGARDEN's concerts totally surpassed those of other bands.
They were so special, it's pointless to even compare them to others.
They were that outstanding.
Their shows were truly one of a kind.
The energy was so intense.
You could feel the temperature rising.
Like a pressure cooker
that was about to explode at any second.
Just visceral, intense energy.
No other act could do that.
Their performances were unmatched.
ELLEGARDEN's music is great, obviously.
But on a personal level,
they saved me.
After our band got our big break,
I was in a terrible place.
Commercial success only made me feel worse.
The noise had gotten to me. I was almost completely demoralized.
The emotional burden grew heavier as we pushed forward.
Then I saw ELLEGARDEN rocketing to success.
They were pushing themselves even harder than we were.
But they didn’t show it.
They were absolutely on fire while performing on stage,
intensely emotionally connected to their audience.
Their performances were that impactful.
I was really moved.
And somehow that lifted a burden off of me.
They were incredible.
Despite how hard they worked, they could perform so well.
On some days they seemed to be having fun on stage,
and the lighting technicians and I'd be happy with how things turned out.
But when I'd go backstage to greet the band,
they'd be in a bad mood, saying it went badly.
They'd discuss how to do better.
That would surprise me.
Then again, the exact opposite would happen too.
I would expect another discussion about what went wrong.
But it’d turn out they were actually pretty happy
with the day's show.
There were several times when the band and staff's perceptions differed.
Hosomi took songwriting
very seriously.
He would come up with a song on his guitar.
We had "Can You Feel Like I Do" recorded already.
But for the other songs, Hosomi would write them alone,
and then we would come together and add our parts to the arrangement.
The other guys waited outside the studio while I wrote.
They sometimes had to kill time for hours, waiting for me.
Meanwhile, I'm playing guitar like crazy and figuring out the melody.
Once I had an idea, I’d go out to get the others.
I’d say, “I’ve got something good.”
Sometimes it’d be fine.
If not, I’d start over.
That was the process.
We used to butt heads a lot.
I tried to find compromises as much as possible.
Sometimes,
the melody Hosomi had in mind didn't sound right to me.
So I'd tell him that something sounds weird.
I couldn't get a hold of it.
He would insist that it was fine.
He'd never convince me, though.
We'd go back and forth on stuff like that.
I don't know if I'd call it conflict.
We were discussing things about the songs.
We were sharing our opinions.
I don't think it was conflict.
All of us would discuss the album's creation.
I don’t know if fighting is the right word.
It was the same with Pepperoni Quattro and Riot on the Grill.
But Hosomi’s energy for Eleven Fire Crackers blew me away.
Something was different about his intensity.
Well, by that time...
they'd established their own identity.
I could only imagine the dedication they put into that record.
They exceeded all expectations.
When we finished making that album,
I knew what we'd created was special.
I've always wanted
to surpass that record, and I'm sure the band wants to as well.
But I'm proud that our latest work is our masterpiece.
I like "Salamander." I used to listen to that a lot.
I would say "Salamander."
Their other songs featuring
quintessential melodic hardcore beats are great too.
But in that song,
you hear Ubu's crunchy and heavily distorted guitar riff,
and then there are Hosomi's weighty vocals.
They come together perfectly.
I think "Salamander" best represents that combo.
It encapsulates what I like about ELLEGARDEN's songs.
We have no keyboard player. ELLEGARDEN is a 4-piece group
with two guitar players.
That means that way I play will make or break the song.
I've always been aware of that, at least to some extent.
Should I keep things simple, spice it up,
or add some ambiance like a piano would?
I have to consider that.
But the rhythms are simple.
Takahashi would often say back then
that his focus was on making his 8th note groove sound good.
Things changed with each record we made.
All I wanted to do was create live shows
where our audience could break free from the rules that bound them.
I wanted to give them a total departure from their daily lives,
where they could let go of everything, where nothing mattered but the music.
We all created those experiences together.
Not just the band, but the audience too.
I was obsessed with creating that kind of experience.
It escalated further and further.
I wanted to excite our audiences in a way that no other band could.
So our songs kept getting faster and faster.
I had one direction.
More extreme. More intense.
And more stimulating.
That's how each record evolved.
You know how ninjas train in a lot of Japanese comics?
In order to be able to jump over high fences and stuff,
the ninja would plant a seed and jump over it every day.
As the plant grew taller,
the ninja's legs would get stronger, and he could jump higher.
But in real life,
inevitably it'd grow so big, he couldn't jump over it anymore.
We were about to hit our limit, too.
The first time I saw them...
was probably at a music festival somewhere.
I had no interest in them.
But I was aware of them.
I knew they were pretty popular.
I wasn't going to watch them perform, so I was packing up to get on the bus.
Then I saw Hosomi backstage.
He was crouched down like this for a while.
I remember that vividly.
ELLEGARDEN must have been the final act of the event.
But he didn't look like he was capable of getting up on stage.
I just stared at him.
I wondered what was wrong.
I thought,
"Isn’t that the lead singer? Can he perform in that state?”
It was concerning.
Obviously, writing music and lyrics was stressful for Hosomi.
That was the most stressful, I think.
He was pushing himself really hard.
Sometimes I couldn't come up with good ideas for my bass lines
and stuff like that was hard,
but the burden on Hosomi was so much worse.
As our fanbase expanded,
we had to make a record that matched their expectations.
That was an incredible amount of pressure.
With each album, we had higher hurdles to clear and more responsibilities.
We all felt that pressure.
The expectations were higher because
we had to outdo the last album. Not sales, but for ourselves.
So...
The bar was being raised.
As a band grows, you have more songs,
and you're limited in what you can do next.
You don't want to repeat your past work.
It felt like being strangled.
We struggled the most withEleven Fire Crackers.
Definitely Eleven Fire Crackers. That was the toughest one.
As far as the records we completed go,
Eleven Fire Crackers was the hardest project.
For that album,
we all worked 24/7.
I would go over my parts even after I got home.
My motivation kept me going somehow.
I'm grateful I had that at least.
It was really rough.
I lost a lot of weight, though I didn't notice it.
And one day, someone pointed out to me that
I had lost a patch of hair on the back of my head.
I'd developed a bald spot about this size.
It's the only time I pushed myself that far.
Hosomi's hair started falling out.
I finally saw how hard this was on him
and the weight of the burden that he was carrying.
Before that...
I never imagined stress could affect him like that.
I saw and still see him as a very tough person.
Honestly, things were getting tense between us.
In retrospect, I think the three of us couldn't keep up with
the drive that Hosomi had.
Hosomi was bearing a cross
that was much heavier than ours.
And...
looking back,
I see that the rest of us should have shared the burden.
We should have helped him.
But I didn’t do anything.
I didn't take on any responsibility.
Actually, I think I only made things worse for him.
I'd say the biggest change was the number of staff.
When we started, it was just the four of us.
We had to work out our problems with each other.
We discussed things head-on.
But as our team grew, we started venting to our staff.
With more people entering our inner orbit,
there were fewer chances for the four of us to communicate.
The stress was really weighing on Hosomi.
We should have tried to understand him.
I might have been able to give him an outside perspective.
We were on the same team, after all.
I could have taken on some of that burden.
But I just got more and more upset.
I would complain about him to the crew
and tell him off for things.
I really regret that.
I don't really value longevity.
I’ve always aimed to be short-lasting but impactful.
Of course, it’d be best to last a long time and be impactful.
But that’s just not how I think
so I saw no alternative.
I wanted to stimulate people's minds even more than our previous work could.
Even if only by the tiniest bit, I wanted to surpass what I made before.
Songwriting became more and more difficult.
I was completely devoted to making music that was more exciting than ever.
Slowing down was not an option for me.
But it kept getting harder to surpass myself.
Things got brutal.
There was an album that we couldn't finish.
We had a few songs done
before everything happened.
I can't pinpoint a specific reason in particular but...
For one thing, tension was running high during the production of the last album.
It was just that,
things had gradually soured between the four of us.
It was pretty typical for us to keep working for 180 days straight.
We were always working.
Even when we got home, we just kept working on the album.
Eleven Fire Crackers hit the top of the charts.
We were at a hotel during a tour, in the lobby.
Our manager came to us and said,
"I know none of you will care,
but you're at the top of this week's Oricon charts."
None of us were interested so we all just went to our rooms alone.
We were exhausted. Mentally exhausted.
So we started working on our sixth record.
But the tension among us...
got worse and worse.
In hindsight, it was one against three.
Hosomi versus the three of us.
Hosomi rarely joined us at the studio because he was writing songs.
The three of us talked a lot and bonded.
I can't put my finger on why things went awry,
but things just built up over the years.
Up to that point,
I had no social skills.
I was pretty reckless.
I survived on willpower alone.
I think my attitude caused problems.
For example, one day we were loading our gear into a van.
A group of high school girls ran up to us.
They handed over their camera to one of the other band members
and asked them to take a photo.
That sticks out in my mind.
Back then, I lacked empathy. I thought nothing of it.
If it happened now, I'd tell those girls off.
I regret doing nothing then.
So I told them I was going to quit the band.
For Ubukata...
It wasn't a simple decision. He considered the whole situation,
including Takahashi...
and our staff and everything.
He was the first to put into words how bad things had gotten.
I'd already told Takahashi and Yuichi that I couldn't put up with it.
I said I wanted to quit.
And we decided to bring in Hosomi to talk.
I got called into the office and they said it was important.
I was in the middle of writing an album.
Songwriting was really intense for me, like I said before.
I was so focused on that,
I couldn't comprehend why they would interrupt me.
I was furious because I thought nothing was more important than the album.
But they said it was urgent.
So I went and that's when we talked about breaking up the band.
That's my memory of it.
I'm not sure how honest to be.
I felt like my world flipped upside down.
Hosomi was probably taken aback.
I think he...
He wasn't expecting it.
ELLEGARDEN was my life.
I was totally immersed in it.
The only thing I cared about was that close bond with our audience.
Losing that felt like a nightmare.
I refused to accept that he was quitting.
He suggested a hiatus instead.
And so the conversation dragged on and on.
We were in a room in our production studio.
Ubukata just came out and said it.
Ubu started talking to Hosomi about quitting the band.
I think he spoke first.
But it was three against one.
It was a terrible atmosphere.
It was more than just me quitting.
We had decided that if one person quit, we'd break up the band.
That was our promise to each other.
So if I quit, it was all over.
But he insisted that a hiatus was the better option.
We went back and forth.
I'm not avoiding this topic. I honestly don't remember.
I don't remember specifics.
Maybe I want to forget it.
It's my last memory of the band.
And yet it's fading away.
I remember feeling sick. I had to stop.
I went out of the room.
I collapsed from exhaustion. That's how long our discussion went on.
We talked for 12 hours. Yuichi got sick and left the room.
He said he needed some air. Typical Yuichi.
That was the point when he finally gave up arguing.
I think he realized it was pointless.
I wanted to finish the record.
But things were too rough.
There were too many problems.
I felt a sense of relief.
I honestly wanted to complete the album.
But I was a little relieved when we went on hiatus.
I couldn't help but feel that way.
I've thought about it a lot, but I don't understand what happened.
It was a complex situation.
We didn't have an objective arbiter.
I had the privilege of doing an exclusive interview
about ELLEGARDEN's hiatus.
Hosomi explained it to me in his own words.
Our interview lasted for nearly two hours,
and he shared a lot of details.
But despite all that,
I couldn't wrap my head around what had happened.
The way Hosomi created music
and how he devoted himself to ELLEGARDEN back then
had gotten to the point that it worried me.
He was pouring his everything into the band.
It was so intense.
So my guess is that...
Hosomi had become unable to pump the brakes on his ambition.
Meanwhile, his bandmates wondered
whether they should let him drag them along
or take a break instead
and get a fresh start
after rebuilding themselves.
It was a difficult decision for them.
Thanks for supporting us.
But first things first. We're taking a break.
Just a break, like taking a year off college to go abroad.
We couldn't have had this big send-off party
just with us four and you all.
So thank you to all the staff involved in today's show.
I hope there's enough time.
I want to make one thing clear. This will not be our final show.
I have a metaphor for songwriting.
Imagine you're an alchemist using
a big machine like a steam engine, all covered in pipes.
You throw everything you have on you into the furnace.
You throw in your freedom, happiness,
sleep, good meals,
TV shows and comics you like. Those go in first.
And then your health, and what's left of your life.
After sacrificing all that,
the giant machine spits out a tiny little grain of sand.
To me, that was songwriting.
I physically pushed myself to the edge.
For instance, I wouldn't sleep until I made a great song.
I was like a dumb kid.
But that's how I am.
I had no other way to come up with great songs
like the tracks on Eleven Fire Crackers.
That record was next-level.
So I remember thinking their hiatus was understandable.
There were red flags.
To put it another way, they were like a car
speeding all around Japan,
charging ahead even as bits and pieces were flying off.
They didn't stop for maintenance.
They just kept working to make songs and push forward.
If they made albums with that much intensity,
it was only natural for them to break down, so to speak.
I left the management company that handled ELLEGARDEN.
I didn't belong anywhere. No company, no job.
I was devastated and wondered how I'd earn a living.
I got back to my tiny apartment in Komazawa.
And in the mailbox was this huge packet.
I wondered who sent it.
There was no name on the envelope.
I opened it and pulled out a magazine clipping.
I took it from a magazine.
There was a photo I thought was cute.
So I tore it out, scribbled some words on it,
folded it, popped it in an envelope, and sent it off.
At least, I think so.
She lived in New York.
It was a picture of a crowded NYC street lined with taxis.
There was a dog sticking out its tongue and looking happy.
And she had drawn a speech bubble that read,
"Hey man, change is good."
At the time,
he was fretting over what had happened with ELLEGARDEN.
I'm just an outsider.
But I thought he should pursue his own interests.
Then again, that way of thinking
is something I believe in myself.
I think trying something new...
is a good thing.
Without that letter, I might not be here now.
Something that mundane saved me.
I mean,
there were a lot of things that helped me.
And that letter is definitely one of them.
I remember blaming myself
during the hiatus.
He regrets a lot of things he's done.
I think what's done is done.
If you're going to whine about how guilty you are, go to the cops.
But that's what I like about Hosomi.
My communication skills are terrible.
Of course I knew that.
I'd always been a misfit throughout school.
But I understand myself more than anybody else.
So I know that I'm not a bad person.
But I came across like a jerk.
So I was determined
to learn how to communicate with other people.
Let's say I was eating candy with a group of people.
And there was one piece left over, and nobody was eating it.
I'd ask the others if I could have it.
They'd say, "Sure, go ahead." So I'd take it.
But after I did that ten times,
eventually they'd come to resent me and think I was rude.
I didn't understand that at all.
But our hiatus made me want to improve my interpersonal skills.
Kind of late in life, I know.
I decided not to express my desires anymore.
So in my next band, I just kept quiet about my own opinions.
When asked to choose, I'd just go along with everyone else.
I went to the other extreme.
I was like that for years.
When ELLEGARDEN's hiatus started, we promised we'd come back.
So I wanted to be ready by then.
But doing that for years made me forget who I really was.
It was awful, and I worried that I'd always have to live like that.
Around that time,
on March 11th of 2011, the Tohoku earthquake happened.
With the earthquake in 2011,
I was...
In retrospect, I wasn't in a good place emotionally.
I felt like
I'd found a cause to sacrifice my life for.
That was how I got involved with disaster relief efforts.
I was forging ahead on my own.
That's when Hosomi called me.
He asked me how he could help.
I thought he was a delicate guy, like I said before.
So I told him he'd just be useless.
He got a little pissed,
and told me he was giving his life to me so I should make use of it.
He really told me that.
I had been given his life
so I figured I couldn't ignore him anymore.
I'm suspicious of his timing, though.
He chose to call me during a disaster, of all times.
So...
Was he trying to help me?
Was he just being a jerk?
Either way, it intrigued me.
I didn't care what happened to me
so I didn't hesitate to visit the damaged nuclear power plant.
I'd drive alone to the Tohoku region after working all night.
I'd do the volunteer work,
then drive all the way back, and go back to my job.
I formed close bonds with the other volunteers there.
The Tohoku Livehouse Daisakusen volunteer group.
I say with love that we were a bunch of jerks.
Lots of booze, fights, saying whatever you wanted.
Nobody there was afraid of being themselves.
Before that, I'd always been told I was a weirdo and a jerk.
But to the people in that group, I was normal.
They told me I was too cautious with others.
They said I didn't need to be.
They helped me reconnect with who I really was.
I had suppressed myself for a long time.
But that was an important learning experience for me.
I'd occasionally run into the other ELLEGARDEN guys.
They had changed a lot too, post-hiatus.
I don't know what caused the band to take a break.
But they weren't pretending to mend their relationship...
just to bring the band back.
I saw them mature as people.
They gradually worked on their relationships
so they could function again as a band with Hosomi.
I thought they might reunite.
Because something had changed.
I started a new band called Nothing's Carved In Stone.
I learned a lot.
Mainly, I came to understand Hosomi's mindset.
Why he did certain things.
I can't think of anything specific.
But everything he did was for the band.
I founded Nothing's Carved In Stone.
As a founder, I took on way more responsibility.
That was an eye-opener.
Everything he did made sense to me.
I told him all this.
We talked all night.
He did the best he could to lead ELLEGARDEN forward.
And...
How should I put it?
It's hard to explain because it's about the path the band was on.
Sometimes he'd force us into things.
I told Hosomi that I understood why he did that now.
I apologized.
But he said I shouldn't.
He said...
He said what he did was wrong, so I shouldn't apologize.
He really meant that.
While we were on hiatus, I wondered what would happen if I died.
I mean, everyone dies someday.
I had unfinished business.
I remember thinking, I have to apologize to Hosomi.
I didn't care about reuniting the band.
I just wanted to tell him I was sorry. Man to man.
I was emotionally distant from him.
That might have led to our hiatus.
I blamed myself.
So I apologized.
I had to apologize.
If I didn't, it would have haunted me for the rest of my life.
I couldn't do it back then.
I said sorry to him for all that.
During our hiatus, I joined a rock band for about eight years.
I started doing photography. It was really difficult.
I don't know why, but I endured that for eight years.
Sometimes they'd insist reuniting was impossible.
But I wasn't so sure if they actually meant that.
Every single day since our hiatus started
I hoped ELLEGARDEN would reunite.
I never forgot about ELLEGARDEN for a moment.
It was constantly on my mind.
We had issues, but nobody was better than us.
I don't regret anything.
Without the hiatus, our problems might have continued to fester.
I'm sure some bands go on like that.
But we went our separate ways for ten years.
We needed that time apart.
I'm just sorry our fans were disappointed.
But our hiatus taught me a lot.
And then, ONE OK ROCK's Taka came into the picture.
We were on tour when ELLEGARDEN announced their hiatus.
Our band and manager were in a van, headed to our next location.
And we heard the news. It was probably early afternoon.
All of us in the van were completely shocked.
We were dumbfounded and confused.
I felt like I had lost something.
Like something burst and disappeared.
That feeling of loss never went away.
One of my dreams had been to perform at a show with ELLEGARDEN.
But that dream went out the window.
My heart felt empty.
It may sound dramatic, but that's how I felt.
So I wanted ELLEGARDEN to reunite someday.
If that were to happen,
I wanted ONE OK ROCK to be there with them.
I dreamed of that for years.
There's this music event called Miyako Island Rock Festival.
It's fantastic. I love it.
One day I noticed ONE OK ROCK was added to the line-up.
But it was a pretty small event.
ONE OK ROCK was too famous for it.
That seemed odd to me.
I spoke with Taka at the after-party.
I heard Hosomi was performing at the festival.
That was a big reason why we accepted the offer to perform there.
I was ready to talk to him. We went and did the show.
Hosomi saw us play.
I think it was at the after-party.
He asked me to invite him if I went anywhere after the party.
People don't usually want to hang out with me.
I thought he was being polite.
I don't really know why, but...
he ditched me.
I went to a club after.
It was this sketchy underground music club.
I went there to DJ.
Then Taka comes marching into this shady little nightclub.
He started yelling at me for leaving him behind.
I found him and asked why he left without me.
Then I spoke with him about ELLEGARDEN.
I asked him point-blank,
"Are you going to reunite the band?"
He told me if ELLEGARDEN reunited, he wanted to be there.
I promised to go to lunch with him when we got back to Tokyo.
So we went.
I explained to him that the situation wasn't so simple.
He said there were a lot of problems.
But he also said...
he wanted to reunite the band.
That lit a fire in me.
Apparently there had been previous attempts to reunite ELLEGARDEN
but they didn't pan out.
But I became determined to solve whatever issues there were.
I explained all the problems to him.
He answered seriously,
"I understand there are roadblocks."
"But our band will help out, and the timing is perfect."
"We're going to work this out for you no matter what anyone says."
I was really blown away by him.
ONE OK ROCK and Taka pushed us to reunite.
I'm really grateful to them.
We were discussing reuniting.
The four of us decided to meet.
We were texting back and forth.
Yuichi volunteered to make reservations at a bar for our meeting.
My only request was that he get a private room.
We didn't want to start any rumors by us all meeting in public.
But then, Yuichi...
Is this about that bar?
It was our first meeting in a while. And this bar in Shibuya...
I'm not trying to diss them at all. But they have this goofy theme.
Everything there is designed like a stereotypical Japanese grade school.
Servers are dressed like teachers.
We had to order drinks following this weird concept.
I was so pissed.
Their appetizers were bread rolls you'd see in Japanese school lunches.
Hosomi slams the door open and shouts, "Who the hell booked this place?"
Yuichi goes, "I'm sorry, I did."
"I just looked up bars with private rooms in Shibuya."
"I got lazy and picked the first search result at random."
He's such a moron.
I was trying to help for once.
Since I never wrote songs or anything. Well, I guess that's different.
Yuichi has his own way of thinking.
He probably thought going there was a good idea.
Or maybe not, I don't know.
Yuichi and I were in a band together in high school.
I decided to quit that band because I didn't want to be there.
I talked to Yuichi about it. We were 18 at the time.
It's easy to talk to him about difficult things like that.
I told him I wanted to leave and take music more seriously.
Right away, he said he'd go with me. He probably doesn't remember that.
The four of us rarely got together like that,
so it felt a little weird.
It's interesting. People can choose to be hostile.
Or they can choose to be respectful.
Seeds are nurtured in the same soil,
but they might grow into something poisonous, or a beautiful flower.
Relationships can go either way too.
Something changed in Hosomi.
He was finally able to express the respect he had for his bandmates.
They felt that,
and it inspired a change in them too.
Hosomi had a wonderful wedding.
On Ishigaki Island.
A ton of bands were there.
I was drinking with Takahashi
and he cried and told me how happy he was for Hosomi.
I was glad to hear it.
It made me believe they could be a great band again.
Things were awkward in the beginning.
We're just guys from the same area.
But our relationship became all about the band.
The hiatus was obviously hard for all of us.
It's hard to describe how it felt to be back together.
On the one hand, we didn't want our old problems to resurface.
If that happened, we'd be done for good.
Then again, I knew we had to be true to ourselves.
So I was concerned about how this would turn out.
We made a decision.
We'd do our reunion show at ZOZO Marine Stadium,
and then decide our next move after.
Except for festivals, we'd never played at a venue that large.
Not for our own shows.
I was worried about the turnout, but so many fans came.
They were even standing outside.
The stadium is in Chiba Prefecture, where we got started.
That felt special.
That was a magical day.
The moment I remember most is...
when we walked out to the stage.
There was music playing.
We entered from stage left. The cheer from the crowd was incredible.
I'll never forget that experience.
It's massive. Can I go out there?
Wow.
There was a stage set up for the show. It looks totally different without it.
Which side was it?
- You performed at the far end? - The stage was there.
- Can we walk over there? - Sure.
- Should we go around? - You can go straight across.
I don't want to ruin the field.
Incredible.
It's hard to believe we played here.
The stage was here.
It's so huge.
When we decided to do our show here,
we hadn't played together for a decade or so.
So the first gig being in a stadium felt like a huge leap.
We were nervous no one would come.
That was nerve-wracking.
But our tickets sold out right away.
I'm so grateful to our fans.
Our role in our shows is simple.
We just perform.
Concerts don't happen without each and every audience member.
The experience is built from their emotion.
Somehow I'd forgotten that.
But I felt that intensely when we performed here
in 2018.
We never cared much about playing at large venues.
So performing here was just something to mark our reunion.
But now I'm really glad we chose this stadium.
I used to be...
pretty worried about my age.
Not that I thought I was an old man or whatever.
But I didn't want to seem like I was trying too hard.
I didn't want people to think I was clinging to my youth.
I wanted to seem mature, in my music and everything.
I didn't want to make a fool of myself.
That fear was hard to shake.
I'd tell myself to grow up.
Sometimes I'd sing like I used to, and get so mad at myself.
I was hard on myself.
But talking with Jamie and Marisa, I realized I was wrong.
They said 40 or 50 is still young.
That was a revelation.
I never thought that age could be seen as young.
I've been completely wrong.
There's no point in worrying about your age.
Coming to the US gave me that realization.
It doesn't matter if my music sounds young or whatever.
I want to have fun and make music that I'm proud of.
I stopped thinking about my age.
That...
That's helped me a lot.
I didn't think my life could change after just a three-month trip.
I'm usually too pessimistic to believe that kind of thing happens.
But my experience here has transformed me.
I'm certain I can do this now.
Making ideas into reality requires enormous effort.
But I can put in the effort. So it'll work out.
I hope I write something good.
I'm back and... Where's your drink, Ubukata?
I'm okay. I have water.
- I'm back, safe and sound. - Cheers!
We can change stuff as we add the arrangements
and we could end up with new songs.
But for now, I have ten tracks.
I just chose ten of them that I liked.
- Do you want to hear them? - Yeah.
I haven't thought about the order at all.
They're just random.
You don't have to praise me a ton or anything.
I love all my songs.
I'm still going to love them even if you're harsh.
And if you like them, it won't make me love them more.
Here we go.
The first song is tentatively titled "Mountain Top."
- That's good. - It's good?
It sounds American or European.
Wow.
Incredible.
Sounds okay?
It's amazing.
Alright!
I can't tell if it's good.
I needed inspiration from outside of Japan.
- I can tell. - Right?
- So it's good? - Absolutely.
So that one is fine.
I thought about this for a whole month.
I could write songs like I used to, if I wanted to.
But these new tracks are all different from my older work, right?
The parts still feel like me, but on the whole, it's different.
Right.
It's not MONOEYES or the HIATUS.
Definitely different.
This might be the last album I make in my life.
I don't think I could do it again.
I have fewer commitments now.
There are less things I'm expected to do.
Obviously I have things I still want to accomplish.
But now,
I'll probably never get asked to do something like this again.
We need to enjoy every step in the process.
We need to embrace every single moment.
I think that's the best way to make the album.
Releasing our first album in 16 years will be a huge feat.
We want to satisfy longtime fans, and attract a new crowd.
I want us to feel ambitious about how good this can be.
Even if the album flops
if we loved making it, that's all that matters.
I think so too.
So that's...
what I've been thinking.
We made an album called Stupid.
All four of us made it together.
And...
Our current recording process reminds me of that making album.
We'd listen to Hosomi's demos first.
I mentioned a song before...
"Can You Feel Like I Do" was originally recorded for Stupid.
And for that production process,
we listened to Hosomi's demos together.
Just like we did for our new track.
When making Stupid, all I felt was joy and hope.
We had no fear of failure.
It was just the beginning.
I'd take a day off my part-time job after spending the night recording.
Hosomi was a full-time worker, but he'd take days off too.
We'd call in sick at the same time.
Making that album was fun.
And now, it's the four of us again.
No engineer. Just Hosomi working on Logic Pro.
I've realized something.
It's important for a band to work together like this.
Making this album has reminded me of that.
Things feel really similar to when ELLEGARDEN first got started.
A long time ago
I told Hosomi that he wasn't my friend.
When I told him that,
he was furious with me and how I treated him.
We'd fight like that sometimes.
But I didn't think being bandmates was the same as being friends.
After 16 years, we're working on this album together.
When ELLEGARDEN reunited a decade after our hiatus,
Hosomi told me that I'm not his friend, I'm his family.
I'll never forget that.
He's right.
We're family.
Family is all about having each other's backs.
I'm sorry.
Well,
making a record and getting interviewed like this...
I don't know when we'll get to make another album.
So I feel like this is a very special opportunity.
It's such a huge part of my life.
We've had a lot of ups and downs.
The band is almost like a person.
Making this album will be difficult sometimes too.
But I'm convinced we can ride it out.
Now we can handle it.
Bands are, in a way...
living things.
For ELLEGARDEN
that's especially true.
This band has a special energy about it.
Something indescribable, apart from the music.
I can feel it.
Our last question is a little corny.
You might not like this one.
What does ELLEGARDEN mean to you?
What does ELLEGARDEN mean to me?
It's not a matter of what the band means to me.
I'm the lead singer of ELLEGARDEN.
That's it.