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There are over 7 billion people in the world.
But only two types of people.
Everyone can be divided into two groups:
those who tame their impulses...
and those who let themselves be tamed by them.
Those who can wait and those who can't.
Winners and losers.
Let's see the candy test.
THE TE$T
Look, I'll leave you
-a marshmallow here. -Yes.
And option one:
you can eat it now.
Or you can wait, and when I come back I give you two.
-Okay. -I'll be right back.
Which am I of those two girls?
You'll be wondering right now, of course.
Because all of us, all of us,
are one of them.
So identical, yet so different.
But how are they different?
One has three things that the other does not:
self-control, self-control and...
self-control!
15 cents a cookie.
-25. -25 cents? We agreed on 15.
I got them from the machine, they cost more than at Lidl.
Give me a euro's worth.
-Hi. -Hi.
-Where were you? -In the bathroom.
We'll be late to meet Grandpa. Diarrhea again?
Then the cucumber sandwich is no good for you today.
Lucky I brought an apple. Have it in Grandpa's office.
Let's go.
Alba Risco invited me to her Communion. Can I go, Mom?
No, honey, you're going to Zoe's. And it's got a vegan menu.
-Cool, huh? -Yes.
See you.
Paula, honey,
are signing up Inés for theater group or camp this year?
We've got no money, I told you, Carmen.
Anyway, I'll add you to the parents WhatsApp group.
Add me, then I'll leave it, like I do every year.
Okay.
-'Bye, Paula. -'Bye.
The helmet's not compulsory.
I look like a mushroom and it really itches.
You know what itches? 20 stitches on your scalp.
Come on, the helmet suits us...
...to a tee.
Why can't I go to the Communion?
Don't talk on the bike,
all the pollution goes into your mouth
and gives you cancer.
Fuck!
-Dad! -Hey, squirt!
-How was school? -Alba Risco invited me to her Communion.
-Can I go? -Sure... you can't.
Alba Risco's Communion or Zoe's.
It can't be both, it's a lot of presents.
Do you have shares in Iberdrola? I'll turn it off.
No, the light attracts the clientele. The what effect?
-"Mosquito". -That's right.
-How many mosquitoes bit today? -13.
13 drinks on a Friday?
Rome wasn't built in a day. Was it?
No.
-C'mon, we'll be late. -Yes.
-Since when do you chew gum? -Since I quit smoking.
Put this on, we're taking the girl to my dad's office.
A shirt, no, Paula, we're going to Toni's place.
But it's a new house and an adults' dinner.
Let's dress like adults, alright?
Honey, what's this?
It's not hard, is it?
-Glasses are made of... glass. -Glass.
-Good. -Sure, there you go.
-Shall we go? -Yes, let's go.
-Let's go. -Move it!
Okay, I won't go to Alba Risco's or to Zoe's,
-but I'm having my Communion. -No.
-Why not? -Because you have to believe.
Grandpa believes, Dad does and I do too.
You believe in presents, right?
What about theater and camp?
Not a word about Communion to Grandpa, not a word.
Hi, Paco!
-"Grandpa", damn it, "Grandpa". -How are you, Dad?
I'd be better if my daughter wasn't so modern
and let my granddaughter do her First Communion,
as your mother would've wanted.
I baptized her for my mother: quota filled.
I'll make you a proposition:
I'll open an account for her, €50 a month until she's 18,
-if you let her do Communion. -No.
-100. -70, not a cent more.
-14 payments. -Agreed.
-Get yourself a suit. -How's the bar? Crap, huh?
Feel like watching the game with Grandpa?
-Not really. -Well...
Dad, she's to drink lots of water, she's got the runs, okay?
When you get home, make her some rice and off to bed.
Okay.
She has to eat this apple. Do you have rice at home?
Yes, but we're not going to my place.
We'll watch the football here,
then you can pick her up.
No, you should go to your place,
we haven't seen Toni in ages and we'll be late.
Yes, well...
-What are you doing? -Nothing. What would I be doing?
Are you staying here in your office again?
Why not? This place is just fine.
I've got my iPad for the football and it's close to work.
A bit too close.
Sure, Paco. Retire already.
You've paid your contributions... since the Pleistocene? That's enough!
Héctor, who'd make my payments? You and your bar?
Speaking of the bar, I wanted to tell you...
Not there, please. Sit on the sofa.
Listen, I wanted to tell you about some renovations...
You listen, Héctor.
You don't feed the dead, you bury them.
I did some numbers and keeping the bar open
costs you 240 euros a week.
Say yes and I'll get you a buyer this morning.
Dad, the bar's not your affair and you're not sleeping here.
Thank you.
You know what it is?
I don't miss her so much here.
I know, but you have to get out and get some air.
You're sleeping at home tonight. When we pick up Inés, I'll take you.
We'll talk about it. Give Toni this,
it's his revenue. He's to sign it,
and tell him it's important that he buys Chinese debt.
-All day talking about money. -Chinese debt...
Honey, take her the apple, please.
Look at this treat I've got for you, sweetie!
-No. -Yes.
400 euros.
-The bar's not for sale, I said. -Listen, I did the numbers.
415 euros is the alimony you'd have to pay Héctor
-if you divorce him. -Again?
-Your mother would've wanted it. -Don't blackmail me, not now.
I'll pay the alimony and you come to work here.
You'd make three time your wages at the NGO.
Héctor's the love of my life.
Is that so hard to understand?
Do you want an honest answer?
No.
Listen to me,
the girl only has 8 years until she turns 18.
8 times 14 payments,
are 112 payments.
112 payments times €70...
It's a lot of money, Paula.
Grandpa! May I?
No, if your mom finds out I gave you pastries, she'll kill me.
She'll kill you if you give me pastries, she won't let you hold my Communion...
Stand up for yourself, Paco.
In exchange for wearing a nice dress and enduring mass?
No, dress and mass, no, in exchange for my principles.
No donuts, for being a smartie.
Just like I won't have Communion because she says.
-What are you trying to do? -Get something out of tonight.
We could finally sign the girl up for theater.
Now you want her to do theater?
I just thought, maybe you can sell the bar,
and buy a theater just for her.
Here we go about the bar again.
Fuck.
Are you going inside with the cap? Take it off.
-Are you sure it's here? -Yes.
-What did he get for the attic? -Don't you dare.
-What? -Ask him how much it cost.
-Why not? -You don't ask those things.
-Friends, you do. -Friends even less.
Holy shit, what a mansion!
Calm down, it's only money.
Look at that.
-Paulita! -Gorgeous.
-Dude! -You big jerk!
-What? -What?
So, what do you think?
-What do we think? -Yes.
-What did you get for the attic? -No.
It got me these cars, and the rest...
I used my time in London well, I sold some... shares.
Dude!
With your father I saved heaps. He's a great money manager.
-This year I got money back. -I don't believe it.
Can you imagine?
What do you think?
Well, with two motorbikes and two cars...
-at least one could be a hybrid. -You're right,
but the pool is sustainable, it's salt water.
-Come on. -Makes up for it, right?
It's amazing. Amazing!
This looks like a mall, it's so big and white.
A mall!
Wow, dude. Look, look!
Look, one of those things that cleans by itself.
-It won't fall in the water, will it? -Come this way.
And this is a... normal kitchen.
-Fuck, normal... -You bastard!
Just like ours, right, honey? The same.
What do you want me to say? We're happy for you.
-Hey, it's your home. -Thanks.
-Then give me a key. -Piss off!
Come here...
-Hear that? -What?
-Shit. -How did it get up here?
I've got 6, two per floor. One vacuums, the other wipes.
What's in there that smells so great?
A leg, a shoulder... well, two.
Lamb. You'll love it And for Pauli,
this "hunk of plaster", is some tasty tofu.
-It's delicious. -Totally.
This ham looks nice.
-Wait... -Eh, Paula!
-No! What's this? -Magic!
It's the previous owner's thing,
One clap turns it off, two turn it on.
-No... -I don't know how to disable it.
It's awesome!
-But... -That's enough, eh?
Asshole!
300 a bottle. How much would a glass be in the bar?
How's the bar going?
-A trainwreck. -Getting by. Fuck, Paula...
-Weren't gin and tonic nights a hit? -Terrific,
until a cocktail bar opened across the street.
We're assessing a handover in case anyone's interested.
No, we're not assessing anything.
When I do extensions, the bar will bounce back.
I've told you over and over, if you need money,
for the mortgage, the bar, whatever, I'm here, please.
Thanks, but we'll make do. No.
No.
Hey, where's our flat, more or less?
-Your flat? -No, our flat,
-our home. -Hey!
-It was Cruz St... -Nº 22. Attic, no lift.
-There. -83 steps.
-82. -That's it, 82.
Give it to him.
-What? What's this? -We got you this silly thing.
-There was no need. -It's silly, for the house.
-Hold this for me. -Yes.
-You'll freak. -Let's see...
-Terrible, look at me. My God! -What?!
You've always been gorgeous. I look awful with short hair.
The backing vocals those chicks did when we sang in the park...
That's why I noticed you guys. Well, you, Toni.
-You always scored with that guitar. -It didn't work with you.
Exactly.
What was that song you were playing when we met?
Fuck, yeah. A great tune.
-To be happy, I want a truck. -That's it.
Spitting on the humans, feeling up my girl.
To be happy, I want a truck.
-25 years, just like that. -Half a life, dude.
I gave you 25 pesetas that day, remember?
Fuck, 25, with the hole in the middle.
-And look at you now. -Well, it's not so...
-Listen, buddy. To you, champ. -Yes, go on.
To us.
-Hey, "Be-bop"! -Yes.
An asshole leaves a drop! Let's go!
-You don't drink it like this. Anyway... -Shall I open another?
No, I'll get the one upstairs. The stairs are good for my butt.
You're so silly.
-Hey, put on some music. -Got it.
-Alexa, music. -Putting on music.
The robot can get that.
They're so bad, really.
Listen, Inés.
I'm pissed off that they won't let you have First Communion.
-Mom's principles. -No, I know.
Look what I've got here.
This medal was your grandma's.
She'd have loved you to have Communion and given you this.
Like it?
Not as much as the cake I'd get, but yes.
It you had First Communion, you'd get a three-tier cake, but...
We renounce our will for the principles of others.
Please tell me you read that in some book, because...
-you're scaring me. -On a book sleeve.
You read it on a book sleeve? Just as well.
If your grandma saw you so smart, so big...
Really, you're the same. Two peas in a pod.
-Dad says I take after him. -Your father's a dickhead.
Sorry, I mean, he has different opinions. It's fine.
-Can I have some donuts now? -No.
You can't imagine how much I missed you guys.
We missed you. Hey, what about her?
Huh?
Berta, did you miss her
all the time you were in London alone?
Yes. Why?
No reason. It's just that there's only one toothbrush.
One toothbrush?
When I went to piss, there was only one toothbrush.
She's not moving in here, huh?
I've always been straight-up with Berta.
You know I like living alone. "Living apart together",
that's a basic concept for me.
No, seriously. But...
she said I bought this house to share.
Fuck that! Share it with me!
Hello!
-Yeah! Coming! -Come up, I've got expensive wine.
Okay!
What are you doing?
-That "mambo" thing will... -Fuck that. Pick it up.
Okay, relax. That's it.
When Berta comes, not a word about moving in.
Not a word to Paula.
Disgusting, dude.
Taming your primary impulses
and keeping a cool head
when making major life decisions.
That's the key to success, that's it!
Five bins. Great.
One candy, two candies.
But now we'll go beyond.
This doesn't go here, it's plastic. Plastic is yellow.
Are you ready to find out what kind of person you are?
Always the same thing.
Are you ready to find out
what kind of person you are?
Yes!
No, no, no.
"Doctor Berta Celaya".
So important.
If you were given the choice,
what would you choose?
€100,000 now...
Come on!
... or a million...
in 10 years?
So...?
100,000 now, right now,
or a million in 10 years?
Neither, because I'm up to here with talking about money.
But it's a game, a personality test.
Choose, it's a simple question.
-It's an indecent question. -Indecent?
Measuring people on the basis of money? Seriously?
Everyone wants money.
"Everyone wants money", no. Everyone needs money.
There you go. What do you say?
If I answer, if I choose one of the two options,
you don't mention money all night. Yes?
Yes.
Swear.
I swear.
100,000 would sort out my life.
I'd pay off debts, and the mortgage, finally.
Extracurricular activities, my girl could go to camp and do theater.
And I'd have some leftover for a whim, a trip...
to Nicaragua.
Nicaragua? Are there good beaches?
I'd go with the NGO. It's my thing.
Well, the 100,000 then.
Yes.
No, no. I don't know.
-Toni, Berta's... -It's like...
-Sure. -Watch it.
I don't know. It's hard because a million is a million.
That's for sure. But 10 years is a long time.
That's the dilemma. Berta says the key is self-control,
the ability to wait.
Guys, it didn't look like it,
but we're going to get a downpour.
-No shit. -A big one.
Yeah, yeah.
-You don't have a dilemma, huh? -Dilemma?
What do you prefer? 100,000 euros in your hand now
or a million in 10 years.
No fucking dilemma. 100,000, straight away.
You're a bird in the hand...
-And held hard, so it doesn't fly. -That's it.
Berta's dilemma isn't an innocent question, it's a personality test.
-Right, and? -The test defines who you are.
Right, and?
Before answering, certain things have to be assessed.
Assess what, Paula?
To start with, the main thing: the origin of the money.
-Who's putting up the money? -It's hypothetical money.
-Sure. -Is it fair trade hypothetical money?
-Very fair. -Okay.
It's not from a bank or a savings bank, they both suck.
Please! Never.
Okay, nor does it come from a speculator like you, right?
Jeez.
-She's such a pain. -Paula, the money's clean.
-An altruist puts it up. -Define "altruist".
Those who donate to your NGO, for example.
You donate to my NGO as a tax deduction.
-Or whatever. -But you take his dirty money.
No, sorry. In my NGO his money's anything but dirty.
Whatever. You accept money from a speculator, me.
Why? Because we all have a price. Full stop.
The typical capitalist, liberal,
asshole comment, forgive me.
-Thanks. -You're welcome.
So if I won the lottery tomorrow,
you wouldn't accept the money, right?
The lottery is like Communion,
it's not about money, it's about principles.
Look, honey, your principles
may fill the fridge with tofu and seaweed, fine,
but making me miss out on some fat cash...
If it's dirty, I wouldn't take it, even if I lived under a bridge.
Alright, Paula,
100,000 euros falls from the sky and you wouldn't take it?
Toni, I devote my life to fighting injustice
and it all has the same origin: money
I'd never accept dirty money, ever.
I swear on my daughter.
It's easy to refuse money that doesn't exist.
Why are we talking about money again? Please, enough.
Where here for dinner, right?
-We're here for dinner... -Yes, I'm hungry.
The dance the kids do.
Besides, you know it's useless.
It's impossible for someone like you to understand me.
-Someone like me... -Someone like you, yes.
You sleep soundly knowing that your suit was made
by a kid in Bangladesh working 16 hours in semi-slavery,
for example.
Vietnam. And if I don't buy this suit, the kid starves.
Fuck.
-No, it's... -No, fuck.
You know what I hate about that argument?
In the photo, when I gave you 25 pesetas, you were different.
That Toni was so different.
That Toni took too many toxic substances.
-Lollipops! -Yes, you got wasted,
but that Toni believed in a better world.
All that Toni wanted was to get into your pants and have fun.
You're right.
-Quite a comedown. -Fuck. Cut it out, babe.
-Okay. -You think you're better than me.
-No. -Yes. A little.
-I don't think I'm better than you. -I think you do.
The difference between you and me
is that I haven't forgotten what kind of person I am.
Excuse me. You have to let it breathe.
It's a gran reserva, it's been asleep for 11 years. You have to wake it up.
The "Be-bop" was fun, but...
it's 1800 for a crate of 6.
Excuse me a moment.
-Did I go too far? -Hey!
-The ham thing... -We're adults, it's all on the table.
But you don't have to always be sermonizing.
-He started it. -No, honey.
Honey, it's fine.
What's this?
€100,000 in the name of Paula Calvo Gijón.
Bullshit on a stick!
What are you doing, Toni?
Putting you in a dilemma.
€100,000 in your name.
You can deposit that check right now at any ATM.
If that's what you prefer, of course.
You're kidding, right?
If I prefer it to what?
To waiting 10 years and making a million euros.
What the fuck. Tony, what the fuck...
-Why put me on the spot? -What spot?
My money's beneath you.
Tear up the check, we drink the bottle, the end.
I just swore on my daughter I'd never take money
from someone like you, ever.
And you shove 100,000 in front of my face.
100,000 euros that'll sort out your life, excuse me.
No one's going to die because you take that money.
You bastard.
Well,
instead of insulting me, you could thank me.
Bro, I'm grateful, deeply,
forgive me for going on about it, but is this real?
It's totally serious.
However,
on one condition.
It's the least I can do. Whatever you say, bro.
Paula decides.
You jerk...
Paula.
Paul, honey, look at this. Read it: €100,000.
And tomorrow, Inés signs up for theater...
What are you doing? No, no, honey.
-Paula, damn it... -Do you never skip your principles?
Never.
-You've never been to McDonald's? -I don't know what they smell like.
The other day she found a McDonald's receipt in my pocket.
She made me sleep on the sofa.
Héctor, you own a bar and you eat at McDonald's.
-Tell me how we pay off the loan. -The loan for the bar?
My money's no good for you, but the bank's is?
An ethical bank.
-Eh? -An ethical bank.
With the interest from my loan, my savings bank creates housing.
-Ethical bank, honest profit. -Shitty profit.
You know what I get from my electric company shares?
-10,000 per trimester. -Dishonest profit.
True, they set the prices, boycott renewables,
they don't give a fuck if the poor die of cold...
They're criminal, yes or no?
-Absolutely. -What do you use at home, candles?
LEDs, they're more expensive, but more sustainable.
Who lights up the LEDs, the Holy Spirit?
"We are energy".
-"We are energy"! -What?
"Green consumption co-op, non-profit.
100% clean energy".
Great, very clean, very green, but does it to this?
-Alexa, colored light. -Putting on colored light.
-Fuck. -Take that! Colored light.
-Colored light! -Very nice.
-Alexa, normal. -Putting on normal light.
The car, the car.
Héctor's Mustang, yes. What?
30 years and gas. The worst thing for people and the planet.
-I sold it cheap to my father-in-law. -No shit.
-The Mustang. -Yes, obviously, because on foot,
bike or public transport you can go anywhere.
You're ridiculous, Paula.
Well, a fantastic evening.
-Good night. -Paula...
Toni, you went too far. Paula... Where are you going?
To get Inés. Come if you want.
-Paula, honey, listen. -And this? "I'll never get a mobile.
I swear on my daughter..." To make these mobiles,
your Third World refugees work in inhuman conditions,
all so that you can post your photo eating paella
-and send a smiley face. -Fairphone.
-What? -Fairphone!
Fairphone. Fair, phone.
Together: "fair phone".
Zero coltan, responsible with people and the environment.
All the men and women who made my phone
did so in decent conditions with a fair wage.
And it's certified. Has it "woken up" yet?
Toni, listen, don't fight it. She'll floor you. Throw in the towel.
We even have Internet access
from a co-op that, get this,
fights for sexual equality!
-So, it's.... -And?
Equality and that crap, but try downloading a movie!
Sit and wait.
-Since when do you pirate movies? -I don't pirate them,
I share with other users, which is very different.
When do you watch these movies?
Downtime at the bar.
You must be a fucking film buff by now.
That'll do, eh?
Before, I'm not paying off the loan
because of the bar.
Coming here, the girl won't be doing theater
because of the bar.
Yesterday, the girl's not going to camp because of my bar.
All the misfortunes of this family are the fault of my bar.
You said it, now I don't have to.
You want the girl to do extracurricular activities?
It's very easy: take the job at your dad's consultancy.
You'd make triple what you make at the NGO. Triple.
Open it, please, it's heavy. It's a rich folks' door.
-It really is heavy. -Sure, so the little lord
can keep his shitty bar, I give up my principles, right?
That's the problem, these fucking principles.
A little less of them and the girl would do theater, go to camp
and she wouldn't have to do afternoon snack deals...
-What? -Nothing.
What?
What's this about afternoon snack?
Héctor.
-The meeting with the teacher... -Yes, I couldn't go. What?
She said the girl spends her money
buying snacks from her friends.
But why? I take her a snack every afternoon.
Sure, but the girl can't live on spelt wheat, Paula.
I don't know why the teacher didn't tell me, I talk to her every day.
The same reason she didn't want you at the meeting.
Why didn't she want me at the meeting?
Because there's no talking to you, Paula.
That's why.
I'm going there to cry for a bit
and I'll be right back, okay?
-Berta? -Amore, sorry.
Hi. It ran late, a line formed for me to sign...
the books. The director's happy.
The 9th edition is selling like hotcakes. Can you image a 10th? OMG.
-Everything alright there? -Uh-huh.
Really, I'll be here maybe half an hour.
-I'll hurry there when it's over. -Uh-huh.
How's Paula? Has she changed her hair?
Uh-huh.
I told you, it's obvious, Psychology 101.
Really, when it's over, I'll hurry there.
-I love you. -I love you loads.
Me too. Ciao, ciao.
Doctor, one second. Can you sign...?
-Yes. Self-control, wait your turn. -Yes, self-control.
-Thank you for coming. -Self-control.
I'm already very tired.
Very tired.
Of never making ends meet, our backs against the wall,
checking the current account. I'm sick of it.
This is our chance, honey.
-This fixes it all. -Paula,
think that I'm returning a favor.
Without you, I couldn't have gotten my inheritance.
You gave me what little money you had to me to pay the taxes
and get my parents inheritance.
I owe it all to you...
Not all of it but, basically, I owe it all to you.
Paula,
do it for the girl.
One question...
€100,000, what's that in pesetas?
16,638,000 pesetas.
-Fuck, how do you know that? -I looked it up on my mobile.
With that money we'd pay off the mortgage and have a bit left.
-Honey, don't joke about this. -I'm not joking.
Maybe you're right, there's no need to be militant 24 hours a day.
-No, but wait... -I love you. No, I love you.
-I'm getting my jacket. I'm going. -No, no. Where are you going?
To the ATM. Unless I see those zeros tonight, I won't sleep.
What if I don't want this check?
It's crumpled, the machine won't read it.
Do you have Bizum?
Honey, it's better to wait 10 years.
What? 10 years? Are you listening to yourself?
Please, who can wait 10 years? What are you doing?
Like you said, I'm thinking about the girl.
She wants to do theater now.
In 10 years maybe she'll want to start a haberdashery or...
-Toni, if I decide to wait 10 years,... -Yes.
...what guarantee do I have that you'll give me the million?
I'm a bit offended that you doubt my word.
5 minutes ago I handed you
a check for 100,000 euros.
Exactly, the 100,000, the check, is real.
-Do you want it in writing? -I want a contract.
A contract?
-Yes? -I need your help.
Remember I told you about Berta's test?
Yes. "€100,000 now or a million in 10 years"?
Exactly. Imagine it was a real situation.
What do you mean, real?
Imagine that someone chose
to wait 10 years for the million,
but wanted a contract. What would I have to put?
-Toni. -Yes?
Did you offer my daughter and Héctor a contract for a million?
Your daughter. But she's wary and wants a contract.
Could you draft it for us?
A million in exactly 10 years.
It just needs your signature, then mine.
I can't waste 10 years thinking that if I croak...
-I won't see the million. -Not you, but the girl will.
No, the girl... What?
With a million she'll never need to get a mortgage.
For her, that's half a life.
You'll make me wait 10 goddamn years,
then throw away the million on a flat for the girl?
Is that what you're saying?
Sorry, you mean our daughter? Wash your mouth out.
-I'll wait in the kitchen. -No, you don't have to go.
This is fucking awkward, for me I mean. So...
We'll talk over there.
-Héctor, come. -Paula.
I can hear just as well here.
The walls, the open concept,
you hear everything in this house.
Paula, this decision
can change our lives.
You should think about us.
I'll buy the place next door, renovate it, the bar...
will bounce back and we're out of the hole. Trust me.
We've had the bar for 3 years and not one quarter in the black.
Trust you how?
The same way that you asked me to trust you?
When what happened, happened,
you asked me to trust you, didn't you?
Héctor, please.
Who cares? Toni knows everything.
Toni.
-Héctor. -Paula, please, honey.
Who else do you think I drown my sorrows with?
With him, of course.
Friends, I don't want to witness this conversation,
so, just as I came, I'm going.
When I told you that Paula had cheated on me,
-what did I tell you? -Don't involve me. Héctor.
When we were drunk as skunks, what did I say about her?
-That you believed in her. -Exactly.
I believed in you, Paula.
And you didn't...
give me many reasons.
You brought that refugee home.
I gave him a roof, food, a bed, my trust.
It's fine. You told me it meant nothing to you?
Then it meant nothing.
Well, now I'm asking you to trust me.
Paula, honey, trust me.
Look, guys,
this is getting too complicated.
Berta will be here soon. I want us to have a quiet dinner.
-A coin. I want a coin. -No one's listening to me.
Heads, the 100,000, tails, the million.
-What are you doing Paula? -Yes, yes.
Toni, say something to her.
A coin for what? I don't have any coins.
Paula, what are you doing?
If you leave something this important to chance,
you can end up making the wrong decision.
-Sure, but the coin's wrong, not me. -Up to you.
-A big house, and one little coin... -What's wrong with it?
Nothing.
Heads, 100,000, tails, a million. Okay?
-Go on. -I'm doing it.
-Aren't you getting it? -Whoever tosses it, gets it.
-I don't believe it. -Wait, stop.
-You klutz. -Is my arm that strong?
Tails. Shit!
-Héctor, do you see it? -No.
Alright then.
Fuck, what a night.
Didn't you see I'd stopped?
-Cars are going by. -The shrink.
Now it'll hot up, you'll see.
-You should've crossed, miss. -But it's not a Stop sign,
it's a Give Way: "give way if you want to".
Sure, but no one was coming. Your way was clear.
Exactly, to do what I felt like and I felt like stopping.
-José, she's right. -Berta!
-Are you alright? -Fine. This officer...
-Good evening. -Good evening.
... insists that I should've jumped the Give Way.
Give Way signs are made to jump, miss.
-José's right. -Who are you, Jiminy Cricket?
Listen, I think... No one's injured,
there's no major damage. We'll fill in the form...
-No? -He's to apologize to me.
Why not just fill out the form?
Officer,
have you ever wondered why you became a police officer?
Berta, this isn't the clinic.
-Sorry. -Amore... Let him answer.
Have you ever wondered
why you need such a big gun in your belt?
How about we deal with this like adults?
You're barking up the wrong tree there.
That's it. Registration.
No, come on...
We've got a dinner here.
"Celaya".
Dr. Berta Celaya. From the radio?
Yes, and TV. 3 channels.
We listen to you every day. Well, on patrol.
-You were fucking great today. -Thank you.
Jose called you on the radio once, to get some advice.
Do you remember?
-No. Obviously not. -It was about a year ago.
-No, no. -You changed my life.
Why? What did I advise you?
You'll laugh, but... he left his wife for me.
OMG!
-Mind if we take a photo? -Yes, of course.
-Do you mind...? -No, sure. Delighted.
-Hold on. That's it, there. -Let's see.
-ID card? -Thanks.
-Alright... -Lose the hat.
Oh, sure. Terrific. With the car, wonderful.
There we go.
It's going to rain, we should...
-We also have to... -Thank you so much.
We'll talk again. We have outstanding issues...
Dinner...
No.
-Dinner. -Dinner.
-You brought up the check, bro. -Héctor... Please, man.
-She wants to meet you. -I'd walk, eh?
Alexa, lights on 10.
-I'll get a bottle of wine. -Putting lights on 10.
Amore.
-Yes? -I'm staying overnight, okay?
You haven't moved in yet?
No. I think it's important
in a couple for everyone to have their space.
There's space here alright.
Alright...
I'm going for a cig... You start. I can't find my smokes.
You relax.
DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, TAKE THE MILLION
Who is it?
Go on, eat. Don't wait for me.
It's work. I have to answer.
Goddamn...!
So, how are you doing?
-Super. -Super?
-What did you do? -Nothing, the mansion...
It looks nice, doesn't it? He still has lots to do,
but it's really nice.
And really big. You almost need a sherpa.
A sherpa, she says!
What's wrong?
You're all quiet, eyeing each other, doing strange things...
-What happened? -I don't know.
-Tell me. -Héctor,
come with me to heat up the tofu.
Honey, tofu takes a second in the microwave.
Come along, I need the bathroom and I don't want to get lost.
-Come on. -The bathroom. Okay...
-the bathroom. -Amore.
Yes?
It's fine. Well, something is always happening.
Life is things happening.
You know, we've got several copies of your book...
You know very well, I like giving away your book.
We had one in the kitchen and they found it.
We started talking... I don't know,
and I offered a check for 100,000 euros,
but she may prefer the million.
Daddy again?
-Honey, it's a million! -Sure, I know.
Maybe I went a bit nuts. I don't know what I was thinking.
I know what you were thinking.
You do too, even if it's unconsciously.
Hey, I stopped being your patient some time ago.
Don't treat me as if I still am, because...
When you realize why you offered them all that money.
What? Never mind.
What? What?
Paula said something before...
that really hurt me. A lot, really.
I'm here, talk to me, I'm your partner.
She told me that when we met,
-when I played on the street... -Played what on the street?
Music. Hector and I played together on the street. It's how we met her.
She told me that 25 years ago I was better than I am now.
How cute.
What?
She said that 25 years ago
I was better than I am now. It got to me.
Anyway... You know?
Here he is again! Calling again! But don't forget one thing...
Here... you decide.
Not... You.
"Raise ravens..."
Paula will choose what he says.
"Submissive meets sadist", it's textbook stuff.
Héctor won't stop until she chooses the 100,000.
He's already doing it, he brought up the refugee.
-Emotional blackmail. -It was ages ago.
It'll end badly, and it'll be my fault.
It wouldn't do them any harm in the end.
I'm the only one who thinks they'd be better apart.
Paula will never be happy with Héctor, ever,
because Paula could be happy with only one person.
Please, not this again, Berta. That's enough!
When you lived together, sparks... I was your psychologist!
-Well... -I know all about you.
So you should know that those sparks went out over 20 years ago.
"Where there was fire..."
25 years ago Paula chose Héctor because at the time
you didn't want any commitment.
Paula chose the easier option, she chose the 100,000,
and she unconsciously regrets not choosing the million.
Long term investments are the ones that are worth it.
I love you, you know?
Me too.
Now relax and go back inside subtly, elegantly,
-when we see they're not talking... -Hey!
Are we having dinner or what?
Come here. Come here.
Gesture or shout, you don't have to do both.
Please, let's have a quiet party. Please.
-I'm fine, but we'll see about him. -Come on.
Yes.
-Things are to go smoothly, please. -No, I'm fine. I'm fine.
I love you, eh? Don't forget it.
Here I have...
a first-rate beluga caviar, they're eggs.
You don't... Well...
You have salad. Shall I bring you the tofu?
No, I'm fine, I can wait. I'll eat some bread.
Paula, new hairstyle?
Well, it's...
bangs and longer hair. You barely notice it.
You do notice it, a lot. Isn't that right, amore?
You change your hair a lot. Why?
Do you go to the hairdresser much?
I don't know. The usual, I guess.
You got a perm at Christmas. Weren't they curls like...?
Like pubic hair, yes.
And then red, shoulder length.
-Straight and red. -Like a Playmobil.
And it was long.
-Like the urban legend girl. -It looks good. I like it.
-Thanks. -But you change a lot. Why?
Berta, honey.
Give it a rest. Life isn't a couch.
Yes, it is, amore. Much more than you think.
What's it going to be, the 100,000 or the million?
-Who won? -Forgive me.
Well...
It's best to get it over with once and for all.
Well?
What did you decide?
No-thing, because this is getting out of hand.
-You didn't decide anything? -I decide to not decide.
-Are you sure? -Yes, Toni. We've come...
-For dinner. -... for dinner...
-and to spend time together... -Terrific.
And that's what we'll do. So, please serve the dead lamb.
I'll get your tofu first. Do I microwave it?
-Microwave, never. -Terrific.
How long do you leave tofu?
Alexa, music for happy gatherings.
-Music for happy gatherings. -Finally, the lamb,
which I think looks fabulous. Please, make room.
-Yes. -And the aroma... Anyway...
Poor thing. It has a mother.
-How's yours? -You worked hard on it.
Thanks.
Let's take it easy. Give it a minute and...
go for it. Enjoy.
-Man, I didn't tell you... -Yes? What?
They're opening a metro station near the bar, almost in front.
-Seriously? That's great. -Cut it out, okay? It's over.
What? I'm talking to my buddy, telling him normal stuff...
Sure, but...
Paula's right, the bar's doomed.
Without the renovations I have in mind,
it's doomed, kaput.
Shall I get some wine?
There's wine here. I don't want any more.
Sure.
The place next door, now that's
right in front of the metro. Right in front.
Héctor, stop, okay? I'm not taking that check.
That ship has sailed.
-I think the ship's still there. -Didn't you want a quiet dinner?
-Yes, as well. -Then leave the ships alone.
-Maybe there are two ships. -As well.
Paula, feel free. Choose the course you want.
-I do feel free. -The check...
Is the best thing, Paula.
The best thing? Didn't you say that
when you signed the mortgage in yen instead of euros?
-True, I did say that. -He said that.
Because you knew that the euro was going to plummet, right?
-Berta, that was bad luck. -Bad luck, eh?
The mortgage was bad luck, the cocktail bar in front...
It's all bad luck.
Berta, we're having dinner, chatting, exchanging ideas...
-Sure. -It's all good, it's great.
What are you insinuating, doctor? Enlighten us.
You chase your luck. If I were you, I'd run faster.
Paula and I are carrying a heavy pack, you know?
You try running with a 10-year-old girl in your arms.
Héctor's right, the check is better, we really need that money.
-Honey, you're shitting me. -Really, forgive me.
I thought you'd come for dinner.
I did too, but your book appeared
-and it ruined the evening. -No, great, really.
-That's it, no more dilemma. -That's it.
-It's over. -Bravo.
-Bravo!
-Drink. -Hey, let's toast!
-No, I don't want any. -No, come on... Forgive me.
It's all sorted.
Toast. Toast with me, bro, for God's sake.
Come on.
-Toni. -Berta.
Hello.
Did I ever tell you the parable of the identical twins?
Fucking hell! Does this girl never give it up?
No.
No, let's have dinner.
Yes, Berta, keep those parables for the radio,
people love them.
The parable will help Paula to decide which ship to get on.
-I want to hear the parable. -You do? Let's hear it.
In the 9th edition
we expanded this chapter as a nod to the readers.
We also changed the look a little,
with more photos of you on the front, the back, inside...
It goes: "Once upon a time...
Sorry, I'm taking the lamb away because it's better...
-when it's hot. -Good idea.
"Once upon a time there were identical twin sisters,
three years old, the same.
Both had the same education, the same family affection,
the same opportunities. They were exactly the same.
One day the parents agreed to participate
in a psychological experiment:
a personality test." The candy test.
This test is very simple,
but it's very effective,
you confront a little girl with her greatest desire:
a candy.
-Hence your test idea. -Exactly, because I thought:
"What is the most irresistible candy for an adult?".
-Sex. -Money.
€100,000 now or, if you know how to wait,
10 times that in 10 years.
What did the identical twins choose?
One succumbed...
and the other resisted.
Failure and success, right?
Well...
If you eat the candy, you'll be a fucking loser.
Those that show greater self-control,
make better decisions and end up winning.
Look,
babe,
if when you put out the candy
you're hungry,
you scoff it down.
If, on the other hand, you've had a snack,
you wait. An infallible fucking test.
It's pure statistics.
The one who eats the candy has no education,
when they're grown up they get worse jobs, if any,
and their personal relationships are...
...lacking.
You know what? I think I would've scoffed the candy.
No one doubts that.
But check this out...
I have the job I always dreamt of.
-Right, buddy? -Sure.
I have an incredible wife and daughter.
And my parents and siblings... we're thick as thieves.
And I'm educated.
-Two terms in Business, right? -And a half.
Yes. Four years and a master's.
You and Toni are the two sides of my test.
This is such a nice dinner.
-I feel like some chorizo. -Because my test works.
Look at Toni. He's a winner. Do you know why?
You know why Toni's a winner? He knows how to wait.
When he got his inheritance, he took his time,
he invested time in finding out how to capitalize on that money.
What would another man have done?
He wouldn't have waited, he'd have lived off the interest
or squandered the inheritance
on some tumbledown bar.
This girl's great, I love her. But you know what, honey?
Without Paula's and my savings,
your winner here, my soul brother,
couldn't have invested his inheritance in anything. You know why?
Because he wouldn't have had the money to pay taxes to get it.
-That's right, exactly. -No, you triumphed, amore,
because you knew how to invest in the long term, or not?
This is like a Christmas dinner at Citibank,
-all this investment, money... -"Long term"?!
He put it all in bricks and mortar. 30% annual profit!
-What a long wait. -Easy money.
-Why don't we talk about me? -Look, Berta,
your parable doesn't hold water.
-Otherwise, your twins... -What about my twins?
They're handy for your little book, aren't they?
Identical twins on the outside, but different on the inside.
-But you have no idea. -Héctor, stop, stop.
-What don't I know? -What happened to them.
Or do we have a second part of the twins story?
Maybe the one who ate the candy
has a fucking great life now.
-Stop, Héctor. -The one who held herself back,
maybe she's a lowlife living under a bridge.
The twin who waited is now a successful psychologist
with an established relationship who can't ask for anything more.
Her sister lost her job, her family and, to top it off,
she lost her life when she got in the bath
with a glass of wine and 30 pills too many.
Okay, that example doesn't work.
I'm so sorry, honey. We didn't know.
Berta,
my apologies. I didn't... My condolences.
Well, I think it's alright if we go straight to dessert.
I bought some delicious chocolate coulants
and a lactose-free yogurt. We can eat up,
say a nice goodbye and everyone goes home.
Berta.
Are you alright?
-Yes, yes. -Careful with those pills.
It's Impulsin, It's very mild.
What the hell.
Inés. Come on, wake up, we have to go, it's important.
Come on, quickly, up.
I can't, I have to sleep a minimum of 8 hours.
God...
I can't let my family miss out on this dough,
you have no First Communion
and no extracurricular activities, which are very important.
I'll let you eat all the donuts.
-Paco, I'm tired... -"Grandpa", damn it.
Come on, down the donuts and sleep in back.
Is this Dad's car?
Yes, apart from you, the only good thing your dad's given me.
Get in, miss. Here we go.
It's amazing. Delicious.
Paula, you decided a while ago.
Finish this, you finish it.
Both options have their problems.
Here the only problem is...
The million is right for you.
If not for him, you would've signed the contract.
Anyone for coffee? I mean, to keep things moving.
Long black, two sugars.
American-style with the V60.
A matcha tea with a dash of soy milk.
No idea, but I'll look it up on the Internet and bring it.
Hey, Berta...
Have you ever been to a fortune taller?
Answer. Have you had your Tarot cards read, or...?
-That's rhetorical, I assume. -Not at all. I have.
-It changed my life. -You went to a fortune teller?
When the three of us flat-shared.
What did the fortune teller say?
I asked her...
if I had any chance with you.
I didn't have the balls then to make a move on you.
So we're together because a fortune teller said to go for it.
-Yeah. -Yeah?
And she didn't just predict that we'd end up together.
-You don't say! -You heard me.
She also said I'd have a bar.
She predicted that I'd achieve my goals, that I'd triumph.
So the Tarot predicts the future better than a psychological test
confirmed over decades.
No, honey,
the Tarot doesn't predict shit, but neither does your test.
If I'm with Paula,
it's because in a time of doubt and insecurity,
someone gave me the confidence
to show some balls with her.
Tarot and all that shit
influences people just like
the candy test influences those kids.
No, my test doesn't influence their future, it predicts it.
No, honey.
If you're told from when you're very small
that you're a fucking star with a bright future,
you believe it.
If you're told the opposite, that it's hopeless,
that you'll be a fucking failure all your life,
you believe that too.
You're fucked, you'll be a piece of shit your whole life.
You don't predict the future of those kids, Berta, you cause it.
My test and the Tarot have no connection.
Sure they do, both of them play with people's lives.
And you know what? It's not right.
Are you saying that I play with people's lives?
-No, he didn't mean that. -Yes, he did, Toni.
-Sure. -Take it back, please.
She shits on me all night, telling me I'm a failure
because I don't want to wait 10 years, and I have to retract it?
I'm not saying you'll be a failure because you can't wait 10 years.
You are a failure because you can't wait 10 years.
Berta...
-Paula, Paula. -What?
Have you never wondered why you change your hairstyle so much?
-Don't start, we were doing fine. -I didn't start anything.
I want to finish this! Why change your look so much?
Are you charging us for this? I mean, so I get my wallet.
Changing hairstyle means changing her life, and you.
If we ever want a consultation, we'll call your secretary.
Paula, look at me. Why do you change your hairstyle so much?
Because my cousin's a hairdresser and doesn't charge me.
That's the conscious reason.
Are you ready to find out the unconscious one?
Really, honey. You're ridiculous.
Sorry, babe, forgive me, but you're a joke.
The book again, come on.
Down here, read. "When a person..."
-I read it? -Yes.
"When
a... person...
does not... master..."
Imagine I couldn't read and I read like that?
"When a person does not master any aspect of their life, then..."
Seriously? "...then they need to feel
that they control something and external appearance
is an element that a woman can control completely:
clothes, makeup..."
"Clothes, makeup or hairstyle
are the refuge of these women,
given that they can only decide on this."
Bravo, bravo. You're a star.
People pay you big bucks to say this bullshit, right?
Héctor, do you like Paula's hairstyle?
-What? -No, tell me.
Do you like how Paula's hair, or...
would you prefer another style?
He likes it short, short. Like when we met, you know?
-I had this meerkat face. -Paula the meerkat.
-So you like it short, short. -Short, short.
How long has it been since she had it short, short?
Why? Why is she so set on always having it
any way except exactly, exactly the way you like it?
You know what? I'm not set on anything. I like to vary it
and these are just extensions my cousin put in for some reason.
If you want...
I can pull one out, because it's just hair.
Someone else's hair, in fact.
This can't say anything about me, it's dead hair.
Okay, you like to vary it, but as long as
the new hairstyle isn't what Héctor likes.
You're right. My wife won't cut her long hair to spite me. Happy?
It's the only thing she can do!
That's why she'll choose the 100,000 instead of the million.
I still don't know what I want.
You'll choose the check because you always do what he says.
Paula's a big girl and she'll choose whatever the hell she wants.
She'll choose the 100,000 because you're blackmailing her emotionally!
Fine, she can listen you, you're so lucid with your advice.
You've had two Xanax and two glasses of wine.
Impulsin! It's mild, very mild!
And smoking so much doesn't show much self-control.
Enough!
Sorry, it stressed me out.
Fuck...
-I'll see if I can fix it. -Okay.
Fuck.
Who's that now?
It sounds like my car.
Holy shit, it's my car!
Look at him, look.
He's unbelievable, he's got no boundaries.
-Goddamn it! -Let's see what he has to say.
-Take it easy. -Take it easy, she says.
Fuck.
It's romantic with candles, isn't it?
If it weren't such a horrible, dark, dismal night,
it'd be wonderful.
Alright, go.
Aren't you drinking a lot?
I'm retiring and closing down the consultancy.
Congratulations, it's about time.
I wanted to tell you that I'm moving back home...
and the consultancy will be vacant.
I'm giving you the flat where I have the consultancy.
You can sell it, pay off your mortgage
with some money left over to renovate and expand the bar. So...?
Now tell me you wouldn't wait another 10 years.
It's better, we all win.
And you?
What's in it for you?
A future for my daughter and my granddaughter.
Yes, they deserve it.
The trap, Paco. There must be a trap with you.
There's no trap. He wants to help us. That's all.
And the change of ownership? Will my name be on the deed?
Of course. And if you want, I'll put it in capital letters.
And we sell it,
do what we want with the money,
and you won't interfere?
-But... -Ah...
-With you there's always a 'but'. -Wait, wait...
But the girl has her First Communion, that's all.
That's it?
Yes, because my mother would've wanted it.
Oh, yes, sorry. One more thing...
Before I put my flat in your name,
I want to see Paula sign the contract for the million.
How little you trust me.
Don't worry, Paco. With these conditions,
I could wait 20 years.
How many pills have you taken?
-Fewer than usual. -Well...
Done. Paula signs the contract
and the flat is yours. Deal?
-A done deal. -Now will you rip up the check?
-Terrific. -Toni! Toni, the contract.
Coming.
Dinner, some drinks and home. It was so easy.
The check's fucking useless now.
This sucks.
The contract.
Turn around.
-Héctor, the pen, please. -Oh, yes.
What?
-What's wrong? -I'll tell you in a sec.
It came up tails.
Like it did before, right?
That's why you hid it.
No, no.
Dad, I'm going to sign this contract, okay?
But you're not giving us anything.
No, Paula, Paula, Paula...
I'm very grateful, but you're not selling anything for us.
You're going to dump it all over this crap? Really?
-Dad, take the girl. See you soon. -No, no. Paco...
-No, take her. -Paco.
Paula... Paula.
Fuck.
Look, the light's back. At last.
It looks... really pretty.
Are you a fool? You spend the money
on these shitty lights?
You spend it on this, after what it cost us?
-They're options, Paco. -Options, come on.
By the way, is that Berta, the psychologist?
-Yes, Berta, my girlfriend. -The book girl...?
-Yes, on its 9th edition. -Really?
And the twin sister who...?
She can hear you.
-Who? -You're speaking loud. She's...
-I'm not. Am I speaking loud? -Yes, you are.
-I'm not speaking that loud. -Pretty loud, you know?
Fine. Did she hear me?
-Can we please...? -Yes, I'll do as she says.
-What? -Take the girl.
-Alright. -Good night.
Berta.
Come on.
Paco, when you see each other at home, mum's the word,
-you've done enough tonight. -Yes, yes.
What happened? I mean: What have I done?
-You haven't done anything. -Right.
Héctor, right? It's always Héctor.
I told my daughter: "You're making the wrong decision".
When she told me she was going out with a flatmate
and I found out it was Héctor, who's a nutcase,
I said: "You've got the wrong flatmate".
My word, how it turned out,
a dinner with friends
who met up to have a laugh, some jokes...
It's turned to shit.
Honey, listen to me.
-10 years is a long time. -I know.
A lot of things can happen in 10 years.
In 10 years a lot of things
can happen again.
Do you trust me so little that you think
-you'll never see this million? -Three months, Paula.
Three!
Living it up, night and day.
Trips to the beach and weekends included.
And it happened right under my nose.
He's using emotional blackmail again.
And you ask me to trust you?
-Héctor. -What?
Please, I want to share this money with you.
-How can I make you believe me? -Put it in writing.
What?
Tell Toni to put my name on the contract.
Hey, you're sure
that in 10 years you'll share this money with me, right?
Perfect, add my name as beneficiary to the million
and I'll be as sure as you.
Write the name.
Pauli... Pauli, you're doing it again.
Toni, Toni.
Paula, what Héctor's asking, do you want it?
Add him, add him, yes.
Just with a pen?
With a pen, a pen.
You're making the biggest mistake of your lives.
Fuck, girl. Berta, really. Holy shit, girl.
Cut it out. Look, that's it. It's signed, no going back.
You still have time to rip it up.
Rip up a million euros?
Didn't we talk about mixing pills and wine?
That contract is like people who get married,
sign a mortgage or have kids
when they know very well that they should split up.
It's another sentence, 10 more years of living together.
Toni, really. You stop her or I will, but someone has to.
Héctor, I'm telling you for your own good.
That contract won't bring you happiness
-and divorce will. -That's a bit cheeky, eh, Berta?
No more issues. No.
Today it's money, divorce, maybe another day.
It seems we're incapable today
of sorting out relationship problems.
Pauli...
-Divorce is good for you. -The pot calling the kettle black.
Honey, I think you've got all you wanted now
and we should go, because my dad's waiting.
You know what? I want to be with my dad.
Hold on, your dad can wait.
I can give advice too, you know?
-What do you mean? -Hey,
you know very well what I mean, Berta.
I swear I don't.
Consciously, no,
but unconsciously...
I put your name on the contract. Please, what more do you want?
No, let him enlighten me.
Tell me, doctor, do you have a toothbrush in this house?
Seriously, this more like astrology than psychology.
Please, I've had it.
-I don't get what this is about. -Do you have...
a toothbrush in this house?
Did you have a toothbrush in the attic?
-No? -No, I carry one in my bag.
-The unconscious! -I forgot it today.
Héctor, I beg you, go.
But, bro, we're just talking.
I won't say anything that Berta doesn't already know. She was your shrink.
She must know that you always go out with younger girls
due to a fear of commitment. You do know that?
Did hit your head, or what?
Two years together and the guy was going nuts
thinking he should leave you, and I kept quiet. Why?
Because I'm his friend. Not like some other people.
When I told him Paula cheated on me, he advised me to leave her.
No, seriously. Enough!
Don't drop me in it, I wasn't at that conversation...
I don't...
You told him to leave me?
Yes.
I did.
All I wanted was...
for you two to be happy.
Like who?
Like you and Berta, the picture of happiness?
-Now the other one. -Exactly,
because we have an established relationship.
I think what's happened tonight has been fabulous,
because it's the first building block
of a much stronger relationship for everyone.
I love this girl.
Forgive me, Berta.
-Forgive me. -Why?
You too,
forgive me.
What's going on here?
You were right.
Right about what?
-Toni, what is it? -What? No.
-I don't know. -No, it's just...
-Maybe... I don't know. -Okay.
-Well, that's it. -Right about what?
When you said before that...
it happened under your nose,
it did happen under your nose,
but maybe not with the person you think.
You're joking.
Of course he's joking...
Imagine him and me... fucking.
-What? -This is killing us.
It's dumb, right?
Yes.
Is it bullshit?
It was only once.
How thoughtful.
Thanks, bro, for fucking my wife only once.
But not once, once... No, just once.
What?
Did it mean anything to you?
I told you that day
and I'll tell you again.
It didn't mean anything to me.
Sure, but at the time you forgot to mention
that the one you'd fucked was my best friend.
Tell me the truth, Paula.
Did it mean anything to you?
No.
And you?
Did what went on between you mean anything to you?
-Keep your distance. -Okay.
Tell me the truth, Toni.
Did it mean anything to you, yes...
...or no?
Paula...
has meant everything to me for 25 years.
Fuck your mother and the priest who baptized you!
-No, no! -And the jerk gets all poetical!
Honey, please, don't do anything stupid!
Look, it's lucky that your dad got in ahead
-and worked it out for us. -Worked out what?
Hey!
The alimony you'd give me until I get half of that contract.
What? Come on.
-What? -What what?
What? Watch it with me!
What? What?
What? What? What?
Héctor, please, we're friends.
Héctor, don't leave me. Don't leave me, please.
Paula, don't humiliate yourself.
You can't stay with him out of remorse.
I'm not with Héctor out of remorse!
Good, because he's never had it!
This night is unbelievable.
-What? -Fuck, Toni.
Can you think of any other way to blow out my night, bro?
Paula.
Listen to me, honey. Listen.
It sounds like a cliche, but it's not what it seems.
-It is what it seems! -I'll bust your head, you jerk!
-What? What? -Honey...
What is it?
I was fragile, vulnerable, very bitter.
Come here, you! Here I come! Don't move!
All this time feeling like shit,
and who were you with?
I don't know, I don't remember! It was night, in a bar!
-I don't even remember her name! -"Their" names.
-God damn you! -Their names? How many?
He felt bitter several times.
God damn you! I'll rip your head off, you jerk!
Fuck!
Are you assholes, or what?
-Textbook, both of them. -Assholes. I've had it!
-You have no sensitivity! -Take some salt water!
Or finesse!
My chakras is really out of alignment right now.
You fuck one woman your own age
and it has to be mine!
Excuse me, I'm not yours and I'm not Toni's age.
Stop, stop. Stop.
This is a great chapter for the 10th edition:
"Fragile masculinity...
fighting for..."
Well, I'll think it over.
You had it all, man.
Money, partner, mansion...
You had to have... her too.
I feel like I don't care about anything,
like a snail on a mirror, it all slides off.
Four, Paula.
-This is a nightmare. -There were four.
And I don't remember any of their names
because they didn't mean...
anything to me.
Let's go home, please.
Yes, let's go. Let's go.
-Alright, alright, slowly. -My hernia.
Fucking lumbago.
You wouldn't have a robe?
I'll send it to you by...
What a night it's been.
Amore,
you shouldn't have stopped being my patient.
Alexa, order a taxi.
Ordering a taxi.
My test works
and my book is hot shit.
No homeopathy, please. Normal medicines.
No, no, it's heavy.
-So heavy. -Paula.
At least let your daughter know who her real father is.
Just kidding, it's chronologically impossible.
We're going through a lot of tension.
-You're an asshole. -I could kill you.
I'm sorry, I don't know why I did that.
You know...?
Honey, it's wet, from the pool.
I understand what you're trying to do
and, symbolically, it's beautiful.
As she says, it's...
It's easy to turn down a million in 10 years
for someone who can't wait.
Let's see if you can turn this down.
Let's see, let's see.
-Fuck, he never stops. -We're never leaving.
What are you doing, Toni?
Putting you in a dilemma.
Goodbye, bro.
A million euros in your name instantly.
I'm going to kick the shit out of that fucking robot.
Honey, let's go, my dad's waiting for us at home.
It's mine?
Yes.
For me?
I can deposit it in any machine...
right now.
If it's what you prefer, of course.
Prefer to what?
To Paula.
What?
What the fuck are you doing?
What are you doing?
Let's get out of here, right now.
A million, a bird in the hand.
Fuck!
Paula...
It's the best thing, Paula.
The best for whom?
For everyone.
The only winner was Héctor.
No, we all win.
I've just lost my husband...
and you've lost Berta.
And you've lost a million.
No, I didn't lose the million. I've invested it.
I wasn't going to leave you in the dark, eh?
Paula!
Leave me alone, please, this is really slippery.
Paula.
Paula
And open the door for me, please.
-Alexa, open the door. -Opening the door.
-The other one. -Yes, I'll say it now.
You can't open two doors at once.
Sometimes I say one thing and Alex understands another.
You know?
Paula,
there's one way I haven't changed.
I'm very much in love with you.
You know? You chose Héctor,
I chose to wait.
I'm still waiting.
Open it up, please.
Alexa, open the outside door.
Opening the outside door.
Well...
the house. What did you think of the house?
Your house is tacky. It's too big,
too white, it's...
It's like a deserted mall.
Oh, one thing.
You do know that lentils exist, and tabouleh,
apples, potato chips...?
One plate of tofu...
for me?
I'm leaving here hungry, just saying.
I'm sorry.
Well...
WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE? €100,000 NOW OR A MILLION IN 10 YEARS?
-The girl? -On the sofa. And the million?
-No million, no Héctor. -What?
We've split up.
DEPOSIT
Inés!
Mom...
-Were you asleep? -Yes.
Oh, sorry. I didn't realize.
2 MONTHS LATER
The new generations of rock 'n' roll!
I've got your Communion present, now I need to get yours.
Mom, when can we have the cake?
Right now, as soon as you cut it.
-Are you having fun? -Yes.
-You look nice. -So do you.
Tito!
Hi, honey.
How are you? Look, I brought you this.
Hope you like it.
What?
I hope it has no sugar, or my mother will kill you.
You're welcome.
Hello, good evening.
Welcome, everyone,
to this magnificent day
when my daughter, Inés,
has her First Communion.
I also want to thank Toni.
A big hand for him!
Thank you, Toni!
Without you, this would never have been possible.
To be happy, I want a truck.
-Having fun at the Communion? -Yes.
Great.
And the cake? Three tiers, like I said. Three tiers.
To be happy, I want a truck.
To spit on the cops, to feel up my girl.
To be happy, I want a truck.
-I'm going to Mom. -Okay, see you later.
To be happy, I want a million.
To stop worrying so much, so the bank adores me.
To be happy, I want a million.
He's an idiot. He's a nutcase.
To be happy, I want a million.
To stop worrying so much, so the bank adores me.
-What's up, Mom? Are you sad? -A little, yes.
We'll go shopping later and it'll pass.
Sure, shopping.
To stop worrying so much, so the bank adores me.
To be happy, I want a million.
One day I'll rip his head off. God damn it to hell and back!
To be happy, I want a million.
A million.
I'll try to speed up the divorce proceedings
so my daughter finally divorces this guy.
A million.