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FILMMAKER: Why did I ask you to film grandma during quarantine?
JANET: You thought I was bored.
You wanted to keep me busy.
You didn't think she'd make it through quarantine.
You probably thought it would be interesting to see
two generations of people forced to live together in hell.
[jazz music playing]
SYLVIA: I'm dividing his hair into sections.
I didn't know you had so much hair.
What is that doing for you?
It's pulling on these muscles here.
I like the fat.
It quivers.
This is lovely having dinner with you.
Sometimes you cook something, you never
know how it's going to turn out.
Cheers.
Oh, I'm cheering.
And cheers to a long and happy life.
Mm-mhm.
And I love living with you.
I love living with you.
Oh, that's good.
We can do that forever.
[jazz music playing]
Vodka is no disinfectant, but self-medication soars--
FILMMAKER: I asked my mom to record her days living
with my grandmother in Tribeca during the COVID lockdown
so that I could feel closer to them.
I mean, my grandmother is 90 years old.
I was afraid that something might
happen while I wasn't there.
So I am now waiting for the water to boil.
And it's boiled.
And it's now boiling.
It's like three minutes.
Oh, my God.
Mom.
I didn't know that.
FILMMAKER: I thought they might drive each other crazy.
Mom, it's like all over the floor and the stove.
So we have something to do later.
And now the powdered sugar, just to give it that great look.
Mhm, mhm.
To you and to everybody else.
Delicious.
I just want you to notice where the mark is on this vodka
bottle, today, which is Thursday,
and we'll see where it is by the end of the week.
OK.
Sunday, June 21.
This has been my life.
Hello, hello, hello.
I know, but let's not get hammy.
It sent out.
That's not working either.
It's not working.
Oh, it's too far away.
It's hard to do.
What?
Why don't you bring it right here?
Mom, then it gets the table, it doesn't get the people.
It'll get the people.
Oh, really?
OK, here.
See who-- who's in it, mom?
Now come on in.
Who's in?
The white-- the angle's wrong.
No, it's not the angle.
It's just too close up.
So I'm going to move it back.
Here we go.
FILMMAKER: As soon as I could, I drove to New York
from Texas to be with them.
All right, the three generations are here.
Number one, number two, and the camera person is number three.
What do you think about three generations
of getting to know your granddaughter.
You've spent a lot of quality time now with her.
Well, she talks to me a little bit, but not in great depth.
We talk about relationships and friends.
But I want to know if she has a boyfriend, what's
he like, what does he do, is that going to go any place,
or is this just an interim relationship.
We've had a conversation.
This is what we talked--
I wasn't on tape.
You want to be on tape about that?
Yeah.
Well, we're talking about what we're
exploring about each other and the relationships.
Now you're divorced, and what's going to happen to you?
Do you want to be alone?
Do you want to look for a partner or part time partner?
Friends?
Or just stay with women friends?
My feeling is, if it happens, it happens.
I'm not looking for a partner.
I'm not going on dating sites.
I did it after my divorce, and it's--
to me, it's not worth the effort.
I do well on dating sites, but then
when we have a conversation-- and now it's COVID,
so I can't even answer to that.
But before it was COVID, I met people and I went on dates.
And I found myself turning back into the person who
listens and asks questions.
I was not being myself in a lot of ways.
And then I would come away saying, God, that was boring.
I don't need to learn about metadata.
Look.
FILMMAKER: I like it.
I think you look good.
JANET: Oh, that's very sweet of you.
You wouldn't have divorced me?
(LAUGHING)
No.
When you cut your hair?
No.
No, when I had chemo.
Oh.
[laughter]
When I had breast cancer.
No.
Never.
Here's Janet and Peter's failed wedding.
That's what you wrote in the description?
Yes.
Why is isn't this working?
Maybe--
And he what?
Finish the sentence.
When he admitted that he had an affair.
What did he say?
And then-- I don't know.
In a conversation, somehow, he just said,
you always knew I was a breast man, or something like that.
(LAUGHING) No he didn't.
You always know I was a breast man?
I think it's so hard to fathom hearing that
from someone, let alone my dad.
How about the man you were married to?
Dana?
Yeah.
Does he realize that--
That that's offensive?
Yes.
Does he know--
No.
Does he realize what that was?
I think he-- I should have said, I always
liked men who are slim.
Yes.
I didn't think like that.
With a stiff cock, which you don't have.
Mom--
It's limp.
--can we just not go there, even with that terminology.
I don't like it.
You don't like it?
I like it.
I know you do because you think it's shocking and provocative.
Well, it is provocative.
No, it isn't.
It means you're guttural.
No.
And I would rather people have more--
Oh, you want me to say penis.
Yeah.
I think that's more impressive.
OK.
I would say that.
OK.
Thank you.
A weak penis that bends in the middle.
I am very careful about imposing myself on my family.
In other words, I don't tell my daughters what I think,
unless I'm asked.
And even when I'm asked, I try to be very diplomatic about it
because I'm not sure everybody really wants to know the truth,
especially if it's not the most flattering thing.
So it's best to bite your tongue.
I think your illness scared Peter off.
He couldn't deal with it.
No, he couldn't.
But I didn't put it on him, mom, you know what I mean.
Some people, it's like--
he didn't have much to do for me.
I could do it myself.
Yeah, but he wasn't supportive.
He wasn't supportive.
I know, but I don't know why.
I think--
He didn't know what to do, I guess.
He didn't know what to do.
He could assure you that all will be well,
everything will be OK.
Well, he didn't know, so he couldn't lie, I guess.
He wasn't a good liar then.
He became a good liar later.
When he was cheating?
Right.
Then he became a good liar.
I don't think I said to her, point blank, well,
we haven't been sleeping together for years.
I don't think I said that because she
was so successful in her marriage
and also in pleasing herself.
[laughter]
What if you weren't in the mood for sex?
These are the questions I never asked you.
Was I ever--
Not in the mood.
Oh, is that what you're trying to say?
No, come on, seriously.
What if you were not in the mood?
Then I'd say, I'm not in the mood.
I'm tired.
I want to go to sleep.
And--
And that was the end of that.
Nobody persisted.
We were respectful of each other.
We really were.
So I think , you know, you accommodate.
Sometimes when you're not in the mood,
you help the other partner out.
What does that mean?
You're accommodating.
What does that mean?
You have sex even though you're not in the mood.
Oh.
You talk yourself into it.
Because your partner really wanted sex,
and you want to please your partner.
And sometimes you want sex, and you say to your partner,
I'm hot tonight, and he'll accommodate you.
Hopefully.
At this point, I'm 90.
My husband is dead two years.
I miss him terribly.
Am I contented?
I am satisfied, in a sense that, I feel complete.
I miss him, terribly, of course.
But I have a full life.
And I was taught to be independent, and I am.
A marriage is like a liaison.
They say, when you make mayonnaise,
you take olive oil and eggs and you whip it together,
and that's what makes a maison.
It's called a liaison, and that's what a marriage is.
But you know what, if you leave mayonnaise out too long,
you can get really sick.
I know.
Don't leave it out.
You have to cherish it.
And that's like a marriage.
You may have tried all your best to make a marriage work,
but there was a partner in this, and that partner
didn't want to make it work.
You can't do something all by yourself.
That's true.
Oh, thank you.
That's perfect.
FILMMAKER: I didn't realize how close their relationship is,
and how much my mother, no matter what she says,
values my grandmother's opinion.
How do you think things will change when grandma's not here
anymore?
For me, or in general?
For you.
FILMMAKER: Keep going.
Take his picture too.
[laughter]
How are you today?
OK, let's do some scallops.
Right here.
And this is--
Swordfish.
You like swordfish?
Yeah.
So we'll do grilled swordfish tonight.
I don't need a whole bunch.
Can I have just a couple of them.
Do we sell the peppers by the pound?
Yeah.
You just want a couple?
Yeah, just give me a couple.
Yeah.
That good?
That can do for two days.
Right.
I do have a garlic.
OK.
That's the potatoes.
Put this back.
What do you call that?
I think--
All right.
Now let's get the food out from here.
Dana, go get your food and sit down to dine.
Let's go for-- here's a chicken.
It is the clitoris.
That is the area that is the exciting part for orgasms.
I think everyone knows that.
No.
No, they don't.
I think they do.
No, they don't.
Your generation knows.
Mom.
No.
There's more ways to have an orgasm than just
through the clitoris.
I hope you're getting her face on camera because she's
looking at me like--
What are all the other ways?
He said, she squirts.
She what?
I'll never forget that.
She what?
Now no one can forget that.
What was the word?
She what?
[laughter]
She what?
Huh?
You're not going to tell me?
She what?
What does she do?
She squirts.
She squirts?
We're cutting that out.
Don't worry, we're going to cut that right out.
I was like, huh?!
[laughter]
I mean, that's the thing that happens with such a weird--
it's just weird.
It's too much information.
I didn't need that much information.
But she has to--
I know, but--
She has to urinate.
No.
The concept of squirting.
Squirting is a concept.
Some women ejaculate.
It's not urine.
It's like-- whatever.
I never heard that.
I never-- I don't know what you're talking about.
It's a thing.
But to say that--
I don't think it's a thing.
It is a thing.
No, I think she has to urinate.
Or it's a little bit.
It's a drop.
No, mom.
It's not urine.
(GASPING) No.
What?
RBG died.
Shut up.
Oh.
During this conversation?
Oh, did she?
The nerve of her.
You sure?
Yeah.
Beth just told me.
Jesus Christ.
Wow.
Pancreatic cancer.
Do I worry at this point?
No.
I sometimes contemplate what the exit plan would be for me,
but I don't think about it as often as a lot of people do.
Look, there's a natural order in life.
Things happen.
And at certain times, it's the best thing.
So fear not, you have a wonderful daughter,
and she's going to worry about you.
So it's cyclic.
Isn't it, Dana.
Don't you think life is cyclic in a way?
Cyclical.
[laughter] Cyclic.
Well, cyclical.
I am worried about her.
Can you imagine Dana taking care of me?
[laughter]
Excuse me, but that's going to be--
You don't think--
I think about-- [laughter] I have to think about that.
No.
We don't see it in your nature.
Why?
Because I see you at the moment as being a little flighty.
Oh.
I have to go walk the dogs on that note.
Hello, darling dog.
That was insulting.
It's not insulting.
Mom, do you think I can take care of you?
No.
No, I don't think you need your mother.
I think right now at your stage in life
you should focus on yourself.
Absolutely.
As you do.
[jazz music]
[speaking in background]
JANET: I never really thought of somebody taking care of me
as I'm taking care of my mother.
I want her to have a quality of life, she deserves it.
Should we say a prayer before we eat?
Well, hope--
Yeah, grandma you should lead us in a prayer.
Yeah.
Let's hope Trump drops dead.
Great prayer, mom.
Happy New Year.
Listen, they're playing music, 7 o'clock.
Can you open the window?
One of the windows.
Why?
You gonna hear it?
Well, you know, I can sort of hear it.
Honking.
Yeah.
A lot of music.
Listen.
Think we should bang pots and pans?
Want to bang pots?
No.
Not my pots.
OK.
Want to play music?
Mm-mm.
OK.
We could clap.
Come here and clap.
You know I--
The city is trying to come together.
Do want to clap?
No.
[clapping]
Woo!
[clapping]
Who's gonna hear you?
It doesn't matter.
You're adding to it.
It's your sense of spirit.
It's thanking all the workers for all their efforts,
the hospital workers, the--
Then we should go down to the street.
I'm not leaving my spaghetti.
[clapping]
Scream out.
Hello.
Good luck.
Thank you.
We ban together.
We'll get out of this mess.
[jazz music playing]