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[clock ticking]
[soft music]
Do you mind taking the glasses off?
Yeah. Whatever.
[soft music]
[Therapist] Tell me about your childhood, Charlie.
Okay, well, once upon a time,
I was a child.
Then I grew up, and that, that's pretty much it covered.
[soft music]
-Oh, sorry, there's no smoking in here.
Really?
Since when?
2007.
Brilliant.
[soft music]
[Charlie] I can chew these, but I'm not allowed to smoke?
[paper rattling]
[soft music]
I don't think you're supposed to eat the whole packet.
[clock ticking]
[soft music]
So what are we, what are we doing here, Doc?
We're just talking.
Are we really, though?
About what, what are we talking about?
Whatever you want to talk about. Just chitchat.
Chitchat, chitchat.
No offence, but I got plenty of people
in my life I can chitchat with.
[soft music]
I would like you tell me why you think you're here.
I'm here because of a broad, a fraulein, a chick.
A chiquita. A dame, if you will.
Maybe it was a fucking woman.
[soft music]
Why don't you tell me what happened?
Start from the beginning.
Okay, if you really, really wanna know.
So it all started with this fucking tattoo.
[upbeat dramatic music]
[Mitch] My girlfriend's not returning any of my calls.
She, she says I'm unstable.
I just don't know what to do with myself anymore.
I just find myself
at home crying and cuddling my cat.
And I cuddle it too hard sometimes.
Have you ever squeezed a cat too hard?
Stuff is, there's stuff popping inside him.
I was like, Sorry, Craig, but it feels like I'm not me.
It feels like I've got like a hood on my head, so...
so do you know what I've done?
It's terrible. I put one of my socks on my cat's head.
So he knows how I feel.
[dramatic music]
[footsteps echoing]
[soft upbeat music]
[footsteps echoing]
[soft upbeat music]
Sorry I'm late.
[soft upbeat music]
[Tattoo girl exhaling]
[Advisor Sue] Um. Well, thank you, Mitch for sharing.
Some appreciation please, thank you.
[group applauding]
For Mitch.
Thank you, thank you.
So, who's next?
[upbeat dramatic music]
So, gonna miss this.
What, what do you mean?
I'm moving on. New horizons, gonna see the world and shit.
Wait, where you going?
Winchester.
Winche-- What the fuck's in Winchester?
I met a girl. Yeah, she lives there.
You met a girl?
Yeah, I met a girl. How hard is that to believe?
No, sorry, no. Um...
How long have you been dating her?
A few months, yeah. Yeah, we met online.
We've been sending stuff back and forth.
Mm, stuff?
Yeah, sent her a DVD.
DVD?
I borrowed my brother's video camera, yeah.
Set out by the end of the bed.
Laid out some candles, you know, set the mood.
And then press record, yeah.
Slip me old khaks off,
did the good stuff all over meself, you know.
Took the tape out, took it down Dixon's little couriers.
Went to the same place.
I gave it to the fella, paid 399,
it was ready in a couple of days.
Picked it up, stuck a stamp on it, sent it to Winchester.
She's probably rubbing herself off to it as we speak.
So you haven't actually met her?
No. No, not yet, no.
How do you know she's not a catfish?
She's not a fish.
What if she's got a dick, Dave?
What, like a hermaphrodite?
No, like a man.
I don't know. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
Well, you're fucking me, Dave. You are fucking me here.
I'm sorry, Charlie. I'm sure you can find another dealer.
Where?
I don't know, go to a rough area.
Strike up a conversation, Jesus.
Rough area? And get stabbed in the neck?
It's better than getting stabbed in the back?
That's a dig at me, isn't it?
I just don't know what I'm gonna do.
You're the only reason I come to these fucking meetings.
Without you, what have I got?
Hm?
Fuck you, Dave.
Fuck you.
Well all that, bit harsh. I'm a person.
[traffic passing]
[Charlie sighing]
[traffic passing]
Excuse me.
Have you got a um...
[lighter clicking]
[traffic passing]
Haven't seen you at any of these meetings before.
It's my first time.
How'd you find it?
Google Maps.
Oh no, sorry, I meant like, did you enjoy it?
I know, I was joking.
[Charlie chuckling]
- Yeah, of course.
It was great.
Cool.
I'm Charlie, by the way.
[traffic passing]
Cool.
I have a, I have, I've got a car.
If you wanna, if you wanna ride or something.
[soft upbeat music]
Sure.
[soft upbeat music]
[engine revving]
What's your thing?
Heroin.
Glamorous.
Yeah.
What about you? What's your vice?
Sex.
Sex?
Yeah.
Okay.
I like to fuck.
I love it.
[Charlie breathing]
Doesn't seem like the worst addiction in the world.
What makes you wanna stick a needle in your arm?
It's pretty fucking gross.
No, I don't inject. No.
It doesn't matter, yeah.
There are plenty of more glamorous drugs out there.
I'll give you that.
But you chose heroin?
No, you don't choose heroin. Heroin chooses you.
[snorts] Fuck off.
What?
Don't get all poetic about it.
It doesn't choose who does it.
It's not a living, breathing thing.
You make your own decisions.
Don't use wanky poetry to try and cover it up.
So who were you waiting for?
Where?
Back at the community centre.
My boyfriend.
Oh, you have a boyfriend?
- Yeah.
- Cool.
Why, did you think I was gonna fuck you tonight?
No, not at all. That's not what I...
No, I was just trying to--
I'm fucking with you.
Yeah, okay.
Anyway, I'm gonna break up with him tomorrow, so whatever.
- Oh really, why's that?
[exhales] Because I don't love him anymore.
Don't see the point in staying with someone
if you don't love them, even if he does have a monster cock.
Monster
cock?
What's a monster cock?
Wow, sounds brilliant.
- Such a shame I don't love him anymore.
Yeah, tragic.
So when did you quit?
Heroin.
I haven't quit.
Why are you going to the meetings?
I'll tell you something, but it's like a super secret.
You can't ever, ever repeat it.
I haven't told anyone this. You ready?
My lips are sealed.
Okay.
I actually meet my dealer there.
What?
Yeah, but he's um, he told me today
that he's fucking off to Winchester
with a girl that he's never met,
so that, that's Charlie out in the cold.
It's that the only reason you go?
It makes me feel normal to be around
a load of other fuck-ups.
No offence.
None taken.
Is that what you want? To be normal?
Maybe.
I know I don't wanna die.
We all gotta die at some point.
Yeah, but I want, I wanna be old.
I wanna be like 100, old, like creaky bones.
You know what would suck?
What's that?
Dying the night before your 100th birthday.
Yeah, that would suck.
Almost feel like your whole life was just a waste of time.
Yeah.
[soft music]
Hm.
[engine revving]
Well, thanks for the ride.
Anytime.
Are you gonna be at next week's meeting?
Yeah, I think so. Are you?
Might be, if you're lucky.
Cool.
-Well, good luck trying to find a new dealer.
Mm, yeah. Yeah, I gotta do that.
Thanks.
Okay.
Well, thanks.
[soft music]
[window squeaking]
Did I mention I was a sex addict?
[Tattoo girl moaning]
[upbeat music and singing]
[Tattoo girl moaning]
[phone ringing]
[Charlie moaning]
[phone ringing]
- Hi, hi, is that Dom, Dominic?
Hi there, Dom.
I'm Charlie. I'm calling from Hillcooks and Sons Insurance.
Yeah, yeah, that's right.
Sorry.
Yeah, that's okay, don't, yeah.
[Charlie sighing]
Charlie? Quick word.
- Yeah.
Money! Let's go, people!
Yep, thanks.
[Mark snorting]
- Oh, watch out [coughs].
Oh, I mean--
She, she, she, she's gonna fucking kill me.
Okay, Charles.
I mean, I can't even stand to look at her.
Just looking at her, and her voice.
Her voice is like, just every time she speaks,
just wants to make me, you know,
fucking punch myself in the dick!
You know, and she's like some annoying, little Smurf twat.
Always with the mah mah mah, I'm so brave. Shut up!
I don't give a shit!
I know.
- Really gets on my tits. Really gets on my tits!
Do you understand?
Well, maybe it's time to get a divorce, Mark.
- I just, I just, I just can't be asked.
It's the paperwork, it's the dog. I fucking love that dog!
I know you do.
I love that dog! It's just a ball ache.
What's, what's the other option?
Are you gonna stay married to someone that you hate?
Well, yeah.
Yeah, probably.
I mean, is that, is that, is that stupid or?
Yeah, it's pretty fucking stupid.
- Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[Mark snorting]
Cowabunga.
So, uh, so what's happening to you?
Are you, are you seeing any, seeing any,
got any steam, any flavours, you got any tang?
Charlie tang in the bag.
I don't know what you mean.
-Any, any women? Pussy.
-Oh, funny enough, I did meet someone, yeah, at group.
Oh, yeah, heroin?
- No. I don't think I should.
Come on, tell me, tell me, tell me.
Yeah, it's sex, she's a sex addict, yeah.
Sex, sex, sex? Fuck off!
What?
I mean fucking hell. Fucking hell, no!
No no, no no no! No.
You're seeing a sex addict?
I didn't say I'm seeing her.
Like, we spent the night together.
Spent the night together. Spent the night together.
Spent the night together, I know,
you banged her, didn't you?
You Casanova, you hero! Uh!
Yes!
Fucking hell. What was it like?
-Yeah, it was um...
It was good, yeah? It was great, tell me.
Tell me, yeah?
It was good, yeah.
Yeah? Good, good.
It was sex.
Good, good, good, great, great, great.
Tell me, tell me some more about it.
What happened? What was she, what was it?
Talk to me about it.
No.
- No, you know.
No.
Please, motherfucker. I need this.
I need this, I need this.
I sleep next to the same, you know,
miserable old vagina every night.
I fucking need this for the midnight wang bang.
Please tell me.
I don't want you thinking about me
while you're masturbating, Mark, so I'm good.
It's too late.
What do you mean too late?
Too late, you need to leave.
-What the f-- what are you doing?
You need to go right now.
Oh.
Get out of here!
Where are you--
-Keep up the good work. -Okay.
[Woman] You're all so much stronger than you think you are.
I mean, look at you, you've all been through such hardship
and you're all still here, triumphant.
It's great.
Look, remember, most pain in life is temporary. It passes.
We've got to give ourselves a chance,
some time to mend and heal.
It's important.
Because,
we don't want to put pressure on ourselves.
We don't wanna feel pressure to be okay again straight away.
Pain...
is why we're here.
Pain is the root
of all our various addictions.
Now I know you're all here for different things,
but I want you to take a minute,
look inside yourself, and ask yourself,
What do I want from today's session?
[upbeat dramatic music]
[Tattoo girl moaning]
[upbeat dramatic music]
Yeah.
[soft upbeat music]
[knocking on door]
[Charlie] What happened to your eye?
I tripped.
Who did this to you?
Does it matter?
It was your boyfriend.
It was my fault.
- [scoffs] Why, what did you do?
I hit him. He hit me back.
I don't know why you think that's okay.
Did I say that, Charlie?
Shit happens. Why you here anyway?
Well, you weren't at group.
I'm sorry. I couldn't find anything to wear.
Is that really why you're here?
Yeah, I was just, I was just making sure you're okay.
No you didn't. You wanted to fuck me again.
That's not true.
Bullshit, you thought you were gonna
get your dick sucked tonight.
Not everything is about sex.
Everything that matters is.
You really believe that?
I believe that you came here to fuck me.
That's what I believe.
Well, I didn't, so.
So what is it then?
Why are you here?
I don't know. I...
I don't have this like fancy poetic answer for you.
I just, all week I've been thinking about what was gonna be
the first thing I'd say when I saw you again.
What did you come up with?
Hi.
I come up with "hi".
Not the most original thing in the world.
[soft music]
But I would have said "hi" back.
Really?
[soft upbeat music]
Hi.
Do you wanna come inside?
You can sit down.
Yeah, I know. I'm good.
[soft music]
How was the meeting?
Boring.
Full of boring people telling a boring story
about their boring lives.
Did it make you feel normal?
No, not tonight. Tonight, it made me feel sad.
- Why?
Because you weren't there.
Well, you're here now.
- Yeah.
So what are you complaining about?
[soft music]
I like you.
You don't know me.
Yeah, but what I know I like.
You like fucking me.
Yeah, yeah, I do, I did. It was lovely.
But I think it might be more than that.
I've been thinking about you nonstop all week.
Really?
- Yeah.
What have you been thinking about?
I've been thinking what it would be like to
wake up next to you every morning.
That's pathetic.
That's rude.
[Tattoo girl sighing]
Let me take you out.
Out where?
Outside.
- What do you mean outside?
Out there, in the real world. Me and you.
I like it better in my world.
And why is that?
Because in my world,
I am God.
You're God?
-Mm.
That's cool. Very cool.
You don't strike me as a particularly
religious girl, though.
Just because I believe in God doesn't make me religious.
Mm, true.
A friend of mine used to say that
the feeling of heroin was like God's petting you.
He wasn't religious either.
Almost makes me wanna try it.
I wouldn't [sighs].
So what do you say?
- To what?
Let me take you out.
- I don't know, Charlie.
I don't really feel that pretty tonight.
Okay, well, what about the weekend?
- Busy.
Doing what?
Fucking my boyfriend probably.
[laughs] Yeah.
Wait what? Are you--
What?
You're still with him?
-Yeah.
-Why?
I just haven't got around to breaking up with him yet.
I figured, whilst I'm still with him,
I might as well keep fucking him.
What about me? What about us?
-What about us?
I, I don't mean anything to you?
Charlie, we met once. We fucked.
A week later, you turn up high
on my doorstep asking me out.
What do you want me to say?
I'm not high.
-Right. -Thanks.
You asked me what I was doing this weekend,
and I told you.
We're not a couple, Charlie.
[soft music]
You don't love him. You don't love him.
What, and I love you?
-That's not what I said.
Mm.
I didn't say that.
So what are you saying, Charlie?
I'm saying why don't you,
fucking,
why don't you fucking fuck me instead then?
Instead of him?
-Yeah.
Right, what would that make you?
Um, it would make me the guy that you're fucking
that doesn't punch you in the face, for one.
Charlie, it's not that simple.
Why not?
Because he's not the kind of guy
you can just walk away from.
No shit.
[soft music]
He said he'd kill me.
If I ever left him, he said he would,
he would slit my throat
and no one would ever find the body.
I believe him.
[soft music]
Well...
we need to go to the police.
Obviously.
Since when did you and I become a we?
I'm serious. I wanna help you.
You can't help me, Charlie.
-I can. -No one can.
No, this is my life, I've accepted that.
You need to do the same.
Fuck just accepting it. Fuck that, no way.
We could just, we could literally just disappear forever.
You watch too many movies, Charlie.
Yeah, we can just do that.
With what money?
I haven't got a penny to my name, and I'm guessing
all your life savings are stored in your fucking arm.
I smoke it. I don't inject it.
[sighs] Reality is, we're gonna wake up tomorrow morning
and carry on living these same fucking lives.
How much you think we'd need?
What?
-How much money to start a new life?
- Did you not just listen to a word I said?
Yeah, but you just, humour me. Humour me here.
How much you think we'd need?
Oh, God, I don't know.
50 grand?
50 grand, what's 50 grand?
Who do you know that's got 50 grand?
Ugh! Um...
The bank.
The bank. Plan A, rob a bank.
Wow, that's Plan A?
Yeah, it's not a great plan, but it's a plan.
I'm thinking on my feet here.
Do you know anyone else that's got 50 grand?
Rich people.
Rich people, good one. Plan B, rob a rich person.
Any rich person?
Yeah, no.
No.
We rob a rich person who isn't gonna call the police.
You know, because they got dirty money.
Dirty.
Ooh.
Dirty money, filthy as fuck.
Okay.
You can't report something stolen
that's already been stolen, right?
Wait, surely you know a bunch of drug dealers.
I know one drug dealer. He wears a Casio watch.
And anyway, he's fucked off to Winchester.
What about a porn star?
A porn star who moonlights in fucking lonely women,
and those women pay him in cash,
and that cash he puts in a safe in his wardrobe.
Would something like that work?
I don't know.
Is there a lot of money in fucking lonely women?
He gets around five grand a fuck.
Five grand a...
Fucking, five grand?
That's, who is this guy?
His name's Jimmy. He's my boyfriend.
[soft music]
Monster Cock is a porn star.
Yep.
Mm, course he is. Course he is.
He's pretty successful as well.
Is he? Yeah, successful porn star, is he, yeah?
Oh he's great.
Wait just one second. Let me get this right.
You wanna rob your boyfriend?
Yeah.
[Charlie chuckling]
Go on. Tell me what you'd do.
[soft music]
[upbeat dramatic music]
[Tattoo Girl] The first thing you need to know about Jimmy
is that he is in love with every inch of his body.
And believe me, there are a lot of inches.
[Charlie] Oh thank you. You haven't mentioned that.
[Tattoo Girl] He's been making adult movies
since he was 18.
By the time he was 21, he'd fucked over 1,000 women.
You know how I know this?
Because it's a fact that he is very proud of.
But porn is not where he makes his money.
The housewives are.
[women moaning]
He keeps all of that money in a locker by his bed.
After all, he can't bank it.
It's not exactly legal what he's doing.
[Charlie] It's dirty money.
[Tattoo Girl] Just like you wanted.
[Charlie] So what happens next?
[Tattoo Girl] We go back to reality.
Fuck off! We don't have to go back to reality.
Fuck reality. We can do this.
This is a solid plan. We can do this.
He'll kill us.
Only if he catches us.
Do you know the combination?
What?
To the safe. Do you know the combination to the safe?
Yes. Fuck, yes.
-What is it?
Two four four, three four two five.
It spells "big dick".
Oh fuck, we get it, mate. Jesus Christ.
Look, Charlie, you have no idea what he's capable of.
Well, you've got no idea what I'm capable of. So...
You're a junkie, Charlie.
You're unstable, confused, fucked up.
You probably won't even remember
this conversation in the morning.
What conversation?
I'm joking. Don't roll your eyes at me.
I'm joking.
But I've been a junkie for five years,
and I still remember to tie my shoes
and brush my teeth and wipe my ass, all right?
I've never been more serious about anything in my life
than I am right now about this.
I wanna rob your abusive porn star boyfriend
and then sail off into the fucking sunset with you.
You sail?
We'll get a plane!
[Therapist] Wait a second.
I'm not sure how I feel about this story.
How you f--
Am I not supposed to be the one that's feeling things, Doc?
I mean, I'm not sure I like
where it's going.
Well that's what makes it an interesting story.
Who wants to listen to a story
where you know how it's gonna end?
I didn't say it wasn't interesting.
Okay, but how about we pretend for a minute
you're not my therapist?
Just imagine that we're just two friends,
we're sitting in a bar.
I don't think so.
It's a little bit of role play.
I'm sure you and Mr. Therapist do it all the time.
That's none of your business, Charlie.
It's weird.
Weird how uncomfortable you get
when I mention anything about your life.
We're not here to talk about me, Charlie.
Mm.
And how does that make you feel, Doc?
[clock ticking]
So do you wanna know what happened?
Okay, so, a few days later, there's a knock on my door.
Guess who it is?
[door opening]
Hi, what?
Hi.
What are you doing here? How do you know where I live?
You told me to meet you here at 11.
You texted me your address.
You don't remember?
So much for never forgetting anything.
Did I mention why I wanted to see you?
No.
-Aw.
-Charlie?
Fuck, man, I--
Charlie, Charlie?
Charlie, why the fuck are you wearing a balaclava?
Fuck, oh well, that's embarrassing. Sorry, yeah.
Oh fuck, yeah, I think this might be why
I wanted you to come over.
To show me your balaclava?
Yeah, yeah, I thought we could maybe
wear them when we rob Jimmy.
You really made me get on a bus
all the way over here to tell me that?
Um, yeah.
You're a fucking idiot, Charlie.
Wait wait, don't go. Don't go.
You're here now. You might as well stay.
Well might as well I do that?
Um.
You say um a fucking lot, don't you?
Only when I can't think of anything else to say.
Uh.
But look, I've got, I've got coffee,
and fruit loaf.
It's like fruit, and it's like bread.
It's like a fruity bread.
But look, I'm sorry, I just,
I really think I just wanted to see you.
[soft music]
Have you got a bed?
Um.
[Tattoo girl moaning]
I'm coming.
[Tattoo girl moaning]
Shit.
Oh, shit.
Whew.
No one has ever made me come from going down on me before.
Really?
[Tattoo girl panting]
[Tattoo girl laughing]
-Can I ask you something?
Yeah.
-Why, uh,
sex?
How did you get addicted to it?
[sighs] That's not a fun story to tell.
Yeah, you don't need to tell me obviously.
I was just curious.
-It's fine.
You asked.
Might as well tell you so you don't imagine the worst.
When I was 13, my parents split.
I stopped talking.
At first, they thought it was a protest, but...
after a few weeks, they realised they should
probably send me to a professional.
[soft music]
Dr. Clark.
And that didn't really work either at first, because
I was a master at staying in silence, so...
why would I open my mouth to a complete stranger?
Thing is, Dr. Clark didn't really mind
that I sat in silence.
If anything, it was better for the physical therapy.
I would sit there from 5:30 in the afternoon
with the door locked, whilst I was told
to remove my underwear.
I would sit there, whilst Dr. Clark asked me questions like,
"Does that make your tummy feel funny when I touch you there?"
[soft music]
I would sit there with a tongue in my ear,
in my mouth,
all over my body, whilst Dr. Clark made me feel special.
I knew it was wrong, but
I didn't tell anyone.
The thing is, what's so fucked up is that,
I liked it.
I know that's not what I'm meant to say, but I did.
[soft music]
My mum started seeing a difference in me.
I was talking again.
So she figured that therapy must be doing something right.
And I stopped going.
But I missed the way it made me feel.
I never went back.
But I know what I'd do if I did.
I'd kill Dr. Clark for making me who I am today.
I need a shower.
[organ music]
[Charlie] So, what's his place like?
[Tattoo Girl] Immaculate, that would be
the best way of describing it.
Not a single thing out of place.
He takes pride in everything he owns.
[Charlie] So how do we get in?
[Tattoo Girl] We walk through the front door.
How else would we get in?
[Charlie] Won't it be locked?
[Tattoo Girl] Yes, but I'll unlock it when I let you in.
[Charlie] You're gonna let me in?
[Tattoo Girl] You really need to let me
finish here, Charlie.
[Charlie] Sorry.
[Tattoo Girl] After I let you in, we both put on
the balaclavas and head to the bedroom.
[Charlie] Wait, why are we gonna rob him
when he's in there?
[Tattoo Girl] Because there's only one key,
which funnily enough, he has.
And he doesn't allow anyone in his house
when he's not there.
[Charlie] Okay, that makes sense.
So, what happens in the bedroom?
[Tattoo Girl] I will carefully go over
to the locker and open the safe.
[Charlie] But what am I gonna be doing then?
[Tattoo Girl] Making sure he doesn't wake up.
[Charlie] And what if he does wake up?
[Jimmy growling]
Then we shoot him.
Shoot him?
-Yeah.
In the leg or something, stop him running after us.
With what?
With a gun, you idiot.
A gun? Have you got a gun, have you?
No.
No, because I haven't got a gun.
Then we'll get a gun.
-Where will we get a gun?
I know a guy.
Have you ever even fired a gun?
No. But how hard can it be?
Just point and pull the trigger, right?
Yeah, just like that.
-Yes, just like that, Charlie.
Can you stop being such a fucking pussy?
Okay, okay, who is this guy then?
Some American, all right?
Word on the street is there was a drug deal.
Word on the street.
-Can you let me finish my story?
Finish it.
-There was a drug deal that went wrong in New York.
Two local lads killed his brother.
Left him dead, shot in the head.
So, he's now over here looking for them.
Apparently, he drives around with a fucking
arsenal in his boot.
Figure we could just get one of those guns.
[snickers] Sorry, that's your plan?
[fake laughs] Yes it is, Charlie.
You have a better one?
No. No.
All right, where would we find this American then?
Sat right over there.
[soft music]
[patrons chattering]
Okay, let's say that is him.
What are you gonna do, just waltz over there,
be like, "excuse me, Mr. Cowboy, sir,
can I buy a gun from you?"
No way.
Yes.
No, no, no.
[patrons chattering]
Hi.
[soft music]
Can we, uh, buy you a drink?
I'm good, thanks.
Okay.
How about some nuts or...
pork scratchings?
What the fuck are pork scratchings?
Sort of like dried up bits of pig skin
with hair.
[coughs] They're actually a lot nicer than they sound.
I think I'll stick with the whiskey.
That's fair enough.
So, we were wondering...
If you can buy a gun from me?
Yeah, how did you know that?
You talk very loudly,
and I could hear every single word you said.
That's a bit embarrassing.
Yeah, a little bit.
Your friend didn't seem so keen.
He's just a,
he just needs to grow a pair of balls.
She right?
Excuse me?
Do you need to grow a pair?
I, I, I don't know. I don't think so.
So you've got some then?
Some?
Balls?
Yes, I got some, two of them, thank you.
Prove it.
Come again?
I don't trust you. I don't deal with people I don't trust.
If you wanna gun, get your balls out
and put them on the bar.
[patrons chattering]
Right.
Can we just, we're just gonna have a little regroup.
Come over here.
-Okay. -Sweetheart.
So this guy's insane.
Of course he is. He's fucking American.
Well I'm not getting my balls out for him.
Why not?
Because it's a weird thing to ask someone you just met.
Why so weird?
I don't know how many germs are on the bar either.
I don't wanna do it.
Look, just do it real quick. Just whip them out.
Just whip them out?
Whip your tits out. How about that?
He doesn't want my tits.
Whip your fanny out.
-He doesn't want my fanny. -Fuck me.
He wants your balls, Charlie.
Come on. What is the problem?
I'll tell you what. I'll do it. How about that?
He's not giving you very many options, is he?
Fine.
-Fine. -Fine.
What will it be?
We gonna do this?
[soft music]
[fly unzipping]
Stop right there.
You some kinda fag?
What?
A total stranger in a bar
ask you take your balls out.
That just makes me think of two things.
[soft music]
You're either a fag, or you're desperate.
Which is it?
The second one.
You sure about that?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
Okay, meet me tonight at midnight.
Warehouse 19 at the docks.
Don't be late.
The price is 2,000.
Right, 2,000.
Is that, so is that pounds or?
Pounds.
Right. You don't take cards?
Thank you. It's cash, he's cash.
Cannot believe you were gonna get your balls out.
Fuck off. I don't have 2,000 pounds either.
Yeah, right, just leave it with me.
Meet me outside the big Tasco at 11, all right?
So you gonna come to group tonight?
-Obviously not.
[Tattoo Girl] Nice to meet you.
[The American] See you later.
[soft music]
It was at a party.
I don't know how it happened. It just kinda did.
And, yeah, since then I feel like
my life's been a bit foggy and hazy,
kinda like I'm in a, like a dream or something.
You, you ever had that dream where you're, you're falling?
You know, you're falling and you're falling
and just before you wake up, you jolt awake.
Like, I feel like, since I first used
my life's been like that, I been falling.
And, I've just been waiting for something to,
to wake me up.
Wow. That's so depressing.
Depressing, okay.
Sorry, Nick, expecting something a little bit
more uplifting here, were you?
Fucking depressing.
-No, I, I just mean, it's just
sad.
That bit about falling, totally get it.
It touched me on a
like deep profound level, like a human level.
You know, like really,
whew, it's just sad.
And depressing.
-Mm.
You see, I seem to remember about a week ago,
you told a story for about 45 minutes about the time
you got so pissed you shat yourself in a car park.
Whew.
Whoa.
I mean, you didn't have to attack me, man.
I'm just saying, we all have this in common.
Yeah, like, it binds us together.
It's just sad.
And, um,
and depressing.
I come to these things every week,
and I don't say anything, and the one time I do,
you're kinda like jumping on it.
And it's
annoying.
His hand's up, isn't it? Yeah.
[upbeat music]
[engine idling]
He said midnight.
Why say midnight if he doesn't turn up at midnight?
It's just, I hate people who are late.
- Ugh. He'll be here soon.
You've been saying that for the last seven minutes.
[Tattoo girl exhaling]
You're just nervous, that's all.
Yes, I am nervous. How are you not nervous?
-I don't know.
And where did you get this two grand from?
[Tattoo Girl] Baby, I've seen some shoes.
Oh.
-Mm, they're red.
And they're latex.
And I think that they would go perfectly with this outfit.
They sound really nice.
You're gonna love them, I promise.
Go on. How much are they?
2,000?
Baby, that is a lot of money.
Well, you did forget my birthday last month.
And you know, they're just as much for you
as they are for me.
Baby, you're turning me on.
-They're one of a kind, just like you.
Just like me.
Oh, I think I'm gonna come.
Oh, can I buy the shoes?
Oh, baby.
Can I buy the shoes?
Oh, I'm coming.
Can I buy the fucking shoes?
Yes, buy the fucking shoes!
Thank you.
[Jimmy groaning]
You fucked him again?
What the fuck? No, did you not just listen to the story?
The story where you just made him come?
But we didn't fuck.
I beg to differ.
You beg to differ that we fucked?
Well how would you feel if it was the other way around?
[soft upbeat music]
Hello, Charlie.
I'm sorry.
[soft upbeat music]
Yeah. You did what you had to do, I guess.
[soft upbeat music]
This is fucking ridiculous now. Where the fuck is he?
He'll be here.
[soft upbeat music]
What if he shoots us?
Why would he shoot us?
I don't know. He's an American, isn't he?
Don't they just walk around and shoot anyone willy-nilly?
[chuckles] Willy-nilly, who the fuck says that?
I say that.
-Right.
Give me your hand.
-What?
Give me your hand.
Feel how fucking fast my heart is beating right now.
Probably got something to do with the amount
of heroin that's been through your system.
No no no, this is different, this is different.
This feels, this is bad, it's bad.
We should go, we should leave this.
No, no, what the fuck are you doing?
Charlie, just look at me. Let's breathe.
[Tattoo girl breathes]
Breathe with me.
[Charlie breathing]
Okay, breathe it out.
Maybe, we should just go inside
and have a look if he's in there.
Hm? How's that sound?
Yeah, that's actually a really good idea.
-Yeah. Okay.
We shoulda done that when we got here.
-Right.
Let's go look inside.
Okay.
[door sliding]
[soft dramatic music]
You're late.
[soft dramatic music]
Have you got the gun?
I've got the gun.
Can we see it?
Money first.
Get the money.
Uh.
Throw it over.
[soft dramatic music]
Oh.
The wallet, you stupid fucking idiot.
Put the money in the wallet and throw it over.
Yeah, yeah, sorry.
[soft dramatic music]
[money rattling]
[soft dramatic music]
You're such an idiot.
[soft dramatic music]
It's in the trunk.
You mean the boot?
I mean the trunk.
That's what Americans call boots.
I know.
Don't worry.
I won't shoot you in the back.
[footsteps thudding]
[soft dramatic music]
What is that?
It's a gun.
What are we supposed to do with that?
You ordered a gun. That's a gun.
That is a gun. Yeah, that is a gun.
That is a gun used to shoot deer with in about 1880.
You haven't got anything smaller, have you?
You didn't specify size.
No, I know that, but I mean,
what am I supposed to do with this?
I can't hide this. It isn't very subtle, is it?
Wear an overcoat.
I don't have an overcoat.
Well, buy one.
Brilliant, so now I have to buy
an overcoat as well as this?
We don't, I don't actually want this.
So, so you take that, I'll take the money back
and then we'll just go our separate ways.
No refunds.
What the fuck do you mean no refunds?
I mean no fucking refunds.
You ordered a gun. That's a gun!
That's bullshit.
Tell someone who gives a shit.
[dramatic music]
You netted us 2,000--
[fist striking]
- Oh, Charlie, wait. What the fuck?
Whoa, whoa whoa whoa.
Okay, why doesn't everyone just chill out?
We're cool. We're cool.
Just that is,
is like exactly what we need.
Can we not have that one?
This is my gun.
But it's literally the perfect size.
So is my dick. You want some of that?
My advice to you is take that rifle
and get the fuck outta here.
-Okay. -Okay.
Okay.
One second, though. Is this thing even loaded like?
- Of course it's fucking loaded.
[gun firing]
- Ah!
Ah! I'm so sorry.
That was, my finger was on the, I...
You shot me, kid!
I did. I did, but that was an accident.
Now I'm gonna shoot you!
[gun firing]
[clock ticking]
[tyres squealing]
Oh, fuck me! I can't believe he shot me!
Ow!
Oh Jesus, it's a fucking graze.
From a bullet. It's a graze from a fucking bullet.
Will you stop being such a fucking baby?
Have you ever been shot?
What?
Have you ever been shot?
No.
No, then until you get shot, you can't say anything.
Fuck me. Ow!
Ow!
[Charlie exhaling]
[knocking on door]
[punch striking]
Ah! Ah!
Please don't hurt me. Please don't hurt me!
Ow! Ow!
Who the fuck are you?
[punch striking]
[Charlie breathing hard]
[dramatic music]
[punches striking]
Are you hibernating?
Did you hear what I said?
Are you hibernating?
Are you a dirty little hedgehog?
I can see that.
What I can't see
is what my girl would see in a fucking junkie hedgehog.
Can you explain it to me?
Mm-hm.
Yeah, she's with me for my big dick.
What did you say?
You got fucking balls, I'll give you that.
Let's have a little bet, huh?
Whoever hast he biggest dick gets the girl.
What?
How's that for you?
Did you seriously just get your dick out?
Your turn.
No, thank you.
Why not?
Well, I don't want to.
I want you to look at it.
I don't want to.
Look at my dick.
Please text me a picture of it--
I'm not asking. Look at my fucking dick.
I'm actually not gonna.
Look at my fucking dick.
Aw, fuck, yeah. I saw it, mate.
Come closer.
-What?
Come
closer.
What? What?
Come closer.
-What the fuck is going on?
-Don't make me ask again.
I'm gonna fucking do it, just give me a second.
There you go.
Closer.
You are fucking odd. Odd.
-Closer.
[soft dramatic music]
Closer.
[Charlie groaning]
[penis smacking]
[soft dramatic music]
What happened?
[Charlie spitting]
-Now, if you ever
come near my girl
ever again,
and I will fucking kill you with it.
You understand me, Hedge?
Do you understand?
Capiche. Got it.
Fucking got it.
Good.
Fuck me.
[soft dramatic music]
[door closing]
[Advisor Sue] Charlie?
Hi.
-Hi. -Welcome back.
Is everything okay?
Yeah.
Great.
Have you got something you want to share with the group?
I'm not really in the mood for share tonight, actually.
I don't even know why I came. I'm gonna go.
-Charlie, um,
what are you saying?
I'm saying
fuck sharing, I'm gonna be selfish for a bit.
-But what if, what if I suggested to you,
perhaps, and, and just something for you
to think about and work on?
[Charlie] What?
Maybe that selfishness is what brought
you here in the first place.
Uh, it's not. Heroin is.
And I wasn't selfish. I always shared my needles.
That was,
I, I smoke heroin, I don't even inject it.
That was a joke. Fucking lighten up, tough crowd.
I think I can speak for the group
when I say that wasn't funny.
Yeah, I sensed that when nobody laughed.
And look,
to be honest,
I don't think this is working out for me.
Because, I'll be honest with you right now,
I get high all the time still.
I'm still using.
I'm high right now.
Sh.
Thank you.
-Welcome. -Yeah.
That's brave, and you are among friends.
And there is no judgement here, Charlie,
but please, I implore you.
Just take a minute, just for yourself, get centred.
Maybe have a cup of tea.
Something nice and hot, and a nice biscuit.
-I'm not a kid.
None of us are kids.
And talking about this shit
doesn't actually make it any easier.
In fact, it makes it fucking harder.
Okay, I come here every week, and we talk and,
and it reminds me that the only thing that's ever
made me happy in my life
is heroin.
Charlie, go to your happy place.
My happy place is me doing heroin.
You're not a smart woman.
Uh.
Fine, I don't think there's any need for an insult.
I'm sorry. I'm, I didn't mean to insult you.
I was just questioning your intelligence. That's all.
Ugh. That's a shame, Charlie,
because I really feel like we were,
we were making some progress, but I'm so sorry.
I think maybe it's time
that you left.
Yeah, great.
I been trying to do that for like 10 minutes, so
it's cool with me.
Jess. Say hi to your cat, mate.
[door opening]
[Charlie] Good night, children.
[door closing]
You just can't help people that won't help themselves.
It's a really big lesson tonight, guys.
[sighs] Let's regroup.
[Tattoo girl exhaling]
Hey.
Can we talk?
Fuck, Charlie, I'm so sorry.
Why did you tell him?
I didn't want to.
He beat it out of me, saw the texts. I'm sorry.
Had to.
You know he slapped me with it.
His penis, he slapped me with it.
What?
He beat the shit out of me, and he made me crawl over
to it and then he was like, "look at it".
And you know what? It looked right back at me.
[chuckles] Sorry. I'm sorry.
You're laughing, okay. Fuck you.
-I'm sorry.
You've got really shitty taste in men.
Not all men.
Come on.
You've gone from abusive porn star to junkie bum.
You're not a bum.
Look at me. What have I got?
Got no money. Got no friends.
I have a job. Do have a job.
Makes me wanna kill myself every time I clock in.
What have I got?
You got me.
Did you, uh, did you tell him about the plan?
No.
No?
Good.
Because I don't just wanna rob him,
I wanna fucking kill him.
So it's pretty much still the exact same plan,
just have a different ending.
So we're not gonna rob him anymore?
What? Of course we're gonna rob him. You're not listening.
It's just that this time I'm gonna use the gun
and I'm gonna blow his fucking brains out.
So you shoot him in the head?
Yes, I'm gonna shoot him in the head.
Why, where were you thinking of shooting him?
Don't know, the head just seems kinda harsh, isn't it?
Harsh? Look at your face.
Look at my face. This guy deserves fucking harsh.
The guy's lucky I don't fucking
cut his dick off or something.
Ooh.
Let's do that.
I was joking. I was, that was a joke.
You're, that's not a joke face.
No, obviously not.
No [clears throat]. Shoot him in the head then.
So you actually wanna do this?
Yeah.
-Yeah? -Yeah.
Okay.
To justice.
Yeah, I'm not gonna do that.
Okay.
I'll just cheers you.
It felt right.
[glasses clinking]
[soft music]
I love you.
[knocking on door]
Who the fuck is that?
I don't know. I don't know.
Get the gun.
[soft suspenseful music]
Who is it?
[soft suspenseful music]
Freeze!
Fucking hell!
Oh fuck, Mark, I'm so sorry.
I just pissed my pants!
Look at that, proper pissed myself.
Yeah. You, do you want some new trousers?
Come in.
Why have you got a gun?
Why is it so big?
Are these really all you have?
Yeah, everything else was dirty.
Great, great.
Great.
So do you wanna talk about what happened or?
[Charlie] With what?
With what, with what?
With the whole, the whole pointing a gun in my face.
You know, me pissing my pants.
Yeah, that.
[Mark] Yeah, that.
Yeah, well, it's a, it's a funny story.
Um, I'm actually babysitting it.
It's not my, it doesn't belong to me.
That's not funny.
[Charlie] What?
Well, you said funny story. That's not a funny story.
It's barely even a story.
I mean, who the fuck babysits a gun? It's stupid.
Whose gun is it anyway? I'm Mark, by the way.
Oh yeah, so Mark, this is--
Oh, oh oh, oh oh oh.
The, uh, sex addict.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You told him that?
- Addict.
[Charlie] It just came up really briefly.
Nice.
You know I can see you?
Don't worry about the gun thing.
She, she's left, she's left me.
Who has?
My bastard wife, she fucking left me.
Hey, that's, that's fantastic news.
That's exactly what you wanted.
I didn't want that.
Yes, you did.
No, no no, I wanted to leave her.
But the fucking bitch has beaten me to it.
Said she wasn't happy or something.
I wasn't fucking listening.
Yeah, Mark, you weren't happy.
I know. Do you understand what I'm saying?
Do you know, seven years. Seven, seven, seven years.
And then, then, then, see ya.
Like, like it's nothing.
Like it's, like it's not my house,
and it's my fucking house.
Watch the beer.
And she's so like smug about it.
[groans] It's like she didn't give a shit about it.
Do you know what I mean?
Mark, Mark.
You didn't give a shit.
Of course I give a shit! Of course I give a shit!
Seriously, the carpet.
Do you know what? Fuck the fucking carpet.
Fuck off the fucking carpet!
Mark!
Fucking carpet!
Wow, I'm so sorry about that. That's not--
Yes, that--
Sorry about that.
Have you got a flannel or a tea towel or?
I'll clean it up right now.
Don't worry about it.
[Charlie sighing]
[Mark sighing]
You okay?
Do you still love her?
Then maybe you need to do something to show her that.
Like, like buy her some flowers,
or maybe like take her out for a dinner or something.
And, uh, just something to make,
make, make her realise that you care still.
Oh, maybe, yeah.
[Tattoo Girl] Oh for fuck sake.
Can you stop being such a whiny little bitch?
You don't love her.
You're just fucked off because she left you.
Makes you feel small and pathetic,
like you're not a proper man.
You're looking at this the wrong way.
You need to look at the positives.
Positives.
-Yeah. I mean, you're okay looking.
I bet you got a few quid in your pocket.
Yeah, I mean. I do okay.
Right, so with an okay face and money,
you could probably bang some half-decent women.
It's not your heart that's hurting. It's your pride.
[exhales] Pretty fucking deep.
It's not deep. It's just honest.
It's late. I'm tired.
Charlie, can you hurry up?
Because I wanna come before we go to sleep.
Big day tomorrow. Nice to meet you, Mark.
-Yeah, good night.
[Mark groaning]
Marry her.
[birds chirping]
[door opening]
Oh fuck me!
[Mark shouting]
What are you doing?
I, I, just, just, just sleeping.
Why are you sleeping on my toilet?
-I don't know.
I mean, I must have just come in to do a shit last night
and fell asleep on the--
What the fuck is all the shouting about?
-Nothing. -Morning.
Are you shitting?
Um, I don't, I don't even know, to be honest.
For fuck sake, fucking gross.
Sorry, sorry.
Why the fuck have you got a balaclava?
Yeah, that's the important thing, isn't it?
Why are you sleeping on my toilet?
Get the fuck out of my bathroom.
Yeah, uh, issue, um.
I've been sitting here for hours.
I can't even feel my legs.
Can you, I can't even feel them at all.
Can you help me get--
Can you?
[Mark] Ow, ow ow, owie!
Okay, nice to meet you.
[Charlie] That's enough.
[Mark groaning]
Yeah.
You're not gonna put on the piss trousers again?
Yeah, they'll be dry. They'll be fine.
Yeah, but the smell.
Oh, the smell?
Yeah.
[sniffs] Yeah. [sniffs] Yeah, a little bit pissy still.
But that's all right. What are you gonna do?
Probably not gonna come into work today, Mark.
Okay, yeah, I think that's, think that's fair enough.
Yeah.
You're um,
you're not gonna do anything, you know,
stupid, are you, Charles?
[soft music]
What do you mean?
The whole guns and balaclavas thing
doesn't exactly say sensible.
And heroin does?
Good point.
Yeah.
It's just that, you know, I, I like you, man.
You're a good guy.
[soft music]
Thanks, Mark.
-Yeah.
Right.
Mark, your, your coat?
-Yeah.
Can I borrow that for a couple of days?
Um, yeah, yeah. Fits you, yeah.
-Thanks.
You know what? You can, you can keep that one.
-Yeah?
Yeah. Yeah, thanks for having me.
No, thanks for coming.
Same time next week or something.
-Yeah, maybe.
-All right, see ya.
Hm.
Well, what do you think? Big enough to hide a musket?
I love it.
So I have today off.
Oh, really?
Mm-hm. What do you wanna do?
[upbeat music]
[Therapist] Charlie.
You need to stop with the sex stuff.
Why?
You don't need to go into so much detail every time.
It's an important part of the story.
How is you having sex an important part of the story?
Surely the whole planning a murder is the important part.
Well, it's a subplot, isn't it?
It's character development.
These aren't characters, Charlie.
This isn't a made-up story. This is your life, isn't it?
Or is this all some sort of joke?
Glad to see you think my life's a joke, Doc.
Unbelievable.
I need a drink.
[top unscrewing]
Can I get one of those?
[glass banging]
So should I--
Go ahead.
Okay, great.
Supposed to get to Jimmy's place by 1:00 AM,
on the dot, not a minute later.
[radio stations changing]
Oh banger, banger.
[soft music]
[Charlie singing]
Some girls, the never forget it
No [indistinct singing]
It's so easy
All you got to do is try a little tenderness
Tenderness
Squeeze her, don't you tease her, never leave her
You've got to, oh, you've got to, oh
You've got to fucking try a little tenderness
Yeah yeah
Squeeze her, don't you tease her, never leave her
You've got to, oh, you've got to, oh
You've got to
Oh fuck, fuck I'm gonna be late.
[suspenseful music]
[upbeat suspenseful music]
[door clicking]
Shh.
Where is he?
He's in there. You're late.
Yeah, I know. Traffic was pretty bad.
Traffic, at 1:00 AM?
Yeah.
For fuck sake, where's the balaclava?
Yeah.
[soft suspenseful music]
Wait. Do we even need to wear these?
We're gonna kill him.
Yeah, absolutely not, no.
Good thinking.
Very warm.
Shh, shh.
Okay. Go.
[soft suspenseful music]
Why is he fucking naked?
He always sleep naked.
Just don't look at it.
Look at it? It's looking at me again.
Shut up. Let me get the money.
Kill him.
Fine.
[safe banging]
[Jimmy snoring]
Fuck it.
Will you hurry the fuck up?
Shh.
What are you waiting for? Shoot him.
I can't do it.
You can't do it?
I can't do this.
[Charlie whimpering]
Wait, where the fuck are you going?
What the fuck are you doing?
I can't breathe.
What?
I think I'm having a panic attack.
Are you fucking serious?
Go in there.
-Go in there! -Sorry, sorry.
Just breathe. Just breathe.
[Charlie breathing deeply]
[dramatic music]
Hello, Hedgehog.
[Jimmy screaming]
Jimmy, no no, no no no.
Get off him, Jimmy. What the fuck?
[Charlie groaning]
Get off him!
[glass breaking]
Get off him, Jimmy!
You think you can rob me?
You come in my house, you try and fucking rob me?
[Charlie choking]
[gun clicking]
[Tattoo Girl] Get off him, Jimmy.
Baby.
I said get the fuck off him, Jimmy!
[soft suspenseful music]
[Charlie gasping]
You okay, Charlie?
Get on your knees.
What are you gonna do, shoot me?
Get the fuck on your knees!
[soft suspenseful music]
What did I ever do to you, hm?
[dramatic music]
[gun firing]
[Charlie] I told you it was a good story.
You're aware I now have to inform the authorities?
I mean, you committed a murder.
Would we really call it a murder?
You knowingly planned to kill someone, yes.
We would call that a murder.
Yeah, but don't you think that some people,
some people just deserve to die?
You're basically insane.
Is that the same thing as crazy?
Because that seems a little bit more harsh.
I'm calling the police.
No, we haven't even gotten to the real reason
as to why I'm here yet.
What are you talking about?
The twist. Every story needs a twist, right?
The twist.
Yeah, that last part where the audience just go, Fuck me!
Fuck me?
Yeah, fuck you, indeed, Doc.
Don't dial another fucking number.
[soft suspenseful music]
Do you remember that story she told me in bed?
About the doctor, used to touch her
when she was a little kid?
It was you, wasn't it?
Hm?
You see, after we killed Jimmy
and seemingly got away with it,
we put our heads together and we thought,
who else in our lives has fucked us over?
You were the top of her list.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Really? Really?
[chuckles] Funny that.
[Charlie groaning]
[gun clicking]
Made up with the American, by the way.
You know what I find funny?
Is that you sit there every day,
listen to people's problems, you jot it down
in our little notepad and then you go home
to Mr. Therapist, who I'm assuming has no idea
that what really turns you on
is raping little girls.
[soft dramatic music]
You're delusional, Charlie.
You have serious mental health issues.
Then why have you stopped dialing?
[dial tone]
Hm?
[upbeat suspenseful music]
[phone hanging up]
There you go.
[upbeat suspenseful music]
What do you want?
What's the time?
[upbeat suspenseful music]
Just gone one.
Perfect.
[knocking on door]
Um, I think that's for you.
Go on.
[upbeat suspenseful music]
[door clicking]
Hi, Doc.
[dramatic music]
Bye, Doc.
[gun firing]
[Tattoo girl breathing heavily]
Oh my God. I think I'm getting used to that. Well done.
[Mark] Hey, guys.
Mark, what the fuck are you doing here?
Don't shoot!
We're in, we're in couples therapy.
This is my wife, by the way.
Linda, Charlie. Charlie, Linda.
Hi.
-Hi, Linda. -Hi.
-Yeah, turns out no other women wanted to fuck me, so.
How did you not see them when you...
I don't know.
I just walked in, knocked on the door. It went so quickly.
-You guys didn't even say anything. -[Charlie] Fuck me!
No, no, she's right. We didn't.
I think it was the shock. It all happened so fast.
Is she dead in there?
Yes!
Right.
You can put your hands down, by the way.
All right, yeah.
Whew, so.
So what, what, what do we do now? What do we do, now?
I don't know. I don't know.
Baby, what do we do?
I have no idea.
I mean, there's two ways we could go about this.
We could shoot them.
No, no.
That's one option. Or?
We let them go and hope that they'll not telltale tits.
[Tattoo girl clears throat]
What's it gonna be, Mark?
Yeah, I like, like the second one more.
[Charlie] Yeah? Linda?
Second one please.
Second one.
Okay, great.
[Mark] Great.
This is what you say when the police come.
You opened the door to the doctor's office,
and that is when you found her dead.
And then you immediately called the police.
You immediately called the police.
-Yep. -Yeah?
Where's my phone? Here.
Killers were long gone.
[Mark] Mm-hm.
Is that clear?
Crystal clear, yes. Crystal clear.
Well, we should go.
Yeah.
You're a good guy, too, Mark. Thanks for everything, mate.
[soft music]
[Mark] Thanks, man.
[upbeat music]
Ah, so?
So.
Where to now?
Mexico?
Mexico.
Mexico. Mexico.
-Mexico! -Mexico!
Mexico! Woo!
[engine revving]
[upbeat music on radio]
You should probably put that away now.
The police will probably see that.
[upbeat music on radio]
What are you doing?
What the fuck are you doing?
Don't.
Fuck off.
Stop the car, Charlie.
What do you mean stop the car?
Stop the car, Charlie.
I'm not stop, I'm gonna--
Stop the fucking car, Charlie!
[upbeat music]
[Tattoo girl laughing]
What?
I'm fucking with you [laughs].
I nearly shit myself then.
-You were afraid. -Fuck me!
Fucking hell.
You are another breed. Fucking hell.
Ah, why would I shoot you? I fucking love you.
[upbeat music]
Think you just, you just said you love me.
Yeah.
[upbeat music]
Are you crying?
Mm, mm-mm [clears throat]. No.
Oh my God, you're crying.
I'm not, you are. I'm not.
[laughs] You're a fucking pussy, Charlie.
[upbeat music]
It's just that nobody's ever said that to me before.
Oh my God, shut up. I love this song.
Looks like a Jaguar
Not quite.
It's got leather seats
This is half leather.
It's got a CD player, player, player, player, player,
Player, player, player, player
[siren blaring]
I don't wanna talk about it anymore
[siren blaring]
I think we're gonna save it, yeah
So don't you try and fake it anymore
Anymore
[upbeat music]
We'll start over again
Grow ourselves new skin
Get a house in Devon
Drink cider from a lemon [echoes]
But I don't wanna talk about it anymore
I think we gotta make it
I think we gotta save it, yeah
So don't you try and fake it
Anymore
I think we gotta make it
I think we gotta save it, yeah
So don't you try and fake it
Anymore
[upbeat music]
He's got a brand new car
A brand new car