-== [ www.OpenSubtitles.com ] ==-
- Dude. - What?
Make a decision!
This play list makes no sense.
- Can you just settle on... - I got it, I'm good.
Lemme just, uh...
How'd you even find this place?
Some people were talkin' about it.
It just sounded cool.
- What people? - They were just people.
And you saw the pictures and you said it looked nice.
Yeah, I just wish we had a little more time
- to prepare. - Look, I thought
that you would like it.
It's the middle of nowhere,
the light coming through the trees.
What do you call it?
What, dappled?
Dappled! Yeah.
I do say that word a lot, don't I?
You're all about that dappled life.
I mean, come on, look at these fuckin' trees!
Ah!
Ahh!
You can smell, like, the bark or whatever?
God, the air!
Is it... oh, fuck, stop!
- Wait, why? - Just stop the car!
Jesus.
What's wrong?
It's my bug out hat, I gotta get it.
Are you serious?
Kath, it's limited edition,
they only made, like, a thousand of 'em.
Fine, just hurry.
Okay.
Ah!
It's lucky.
Got hooked on, like, a branch-type thing.
I am so glad.
It's not even that dark yet.
Oh, it will be.
Your destination is on your left.
Yeah, it is, girl.
- Thank God. - Whoo-hoo!
I swear, if that bitch told me to turn
one more time...
You were clenching the wheel so hard.
Yeah, well, next time, you drive.
Can't teach an old dog new tricks.
Have you ever even tried?
It's too boring.
It's better over here in the VIP seat.
Oh, I think this is it.
Ooh!
Hey, what is that?
What?
Why is there another car here?
I'm sure it's just...
What the fuck?
Huh.
- Who is that? - I dunno.
Okay, wait, are you absolutely,
positively sure that this is...
This is the place,
it's the same as the pictures.
Yeah, but then why is there a guy
in the doorway?
I... I'm sure it's nothing, okay?
Look.
Wait here, I'll just...
I'll go straighten it out.
We rented this place, and so,
- I'm just wondering... - You what?
We booked the cabin for the weekend.
No.
Yeah.
Just a little getaway, you know?
Yeah, well, we're here, so.
I mean, we...
we came all the way up here from the city,
we've been on the road for hours.
Max, show them the reservation.
No need, Max.
I shouldn't have to show anything.
This is our place, I paid for it.
Max!
The place is ours.
We booked it.
All our stuff is inside.
Want one for the road?
This is...
What are you doing?
- Ordering takeout. - What?
I'm calling the owner, what's the number?
You might have some trouble with that.
Reception's pretty spotty up here.
Hey, come on.
Work with us, okay?
Work with you?
- Max, let's just go. - No. No.
It's already dark,
there aren't any hotels for, like, a hundred miles.
Can we just stay here tonight?
You just rolled up outta nowhere, guy.
Look, she's exhausted,
she's been driving for hours.
- Why don't you drive, then? - I don't drive.
- What do you mean? - I don't have a license.
And she hates driving at night,
her eyes... um...
- Oh my God. - What?
I'll be in the car.
Hey!
- You can stay. - What?
It's only one night.
Seriously?
That's... that's great.
Did you hear?
- They said we... - Yeah, I heard.
Well?
Well, why don't you stay with them
and I'll just drape my withered old corpse
- across the back seat? - My God, what are you...
What was that shit about me not liking
to drive at night?
You hate it!
Ten minutes ago, you just said...
I know what I said.
Ugh, you're right.
I'm sorry, we should just head back.
Had enough adventure for one night.
Stayin' here, it's way out of your comfort zone...
I mean, our comfort zone.
If we start back now, we can probably...
- No, Max. - What?
Let's stay.
- But I thought that you... - I will let you know
when I've had enough adventure.
Well, all right.
Hey, um, so we'd really like to stay,
if that's cool.
Hmph.
You're quite the catch.
That's me.
Thank you.
All right!
Oh, dude!
This is like the inside of your brain.
Everything all old school, built by dead people.
Forest out of every window.
Could stay here forever, right?
Damn, look at that.
I know.
Check it out.
So... where's... What's the best place
for us to sleep, do you think?
Oh, well, we're in there,
and I guess that's the owner's room, so...
anywhere else.
Damn.
We should probably get our bags from the car.
Right.
Wait.
Ohh... hey.
Wow.
Oh yes, this record has the sickest break beat.
It's, like, two minutes long.
Jamiroquai.
Yeah, just lemme finish looking through these.
Need any help?
Oh, uh... sure.
So, um... how long have you two been together?
We're not together.
Oh.
Not in that capitalist, consumerist, cis-normative
bullshit way.
Right.
But if you were gonna ask
how long have we been mostly exclusively fucking,
I'd say... about a year?
Oh.
What about you?
Oh, um, how long have we been...
Together.
Oh... same, about a year.
Was that when you got married
or when you, like, met?
You think we're married?
Oh. I just assumed.
Oh. What makes you think that?
I... just... um... people like... you,
they're either...
usually married or alone.
Like me.
I'm saying that's cool.
- That you're not. - Oh, yeah.
I tried that once, marriage.
Just not my style.
Me and Max are just sort of seeing how things go.
Hm.
Okay.
Now it's a party.
Oh my God.
What?
Pillow Talkers.
What is that?
"Pillow Talkers is a game for lovers
who have lost the thrill of their mate.
The journey around the board
will bring partners closer together
both emotionally and physically."
- Wow. - Can you believe
this is what it took for boomers to get hard?
Let's play.
What?
What else are we gonna do?
I don't know, man, this looks a little...
I'm in.
Seriously?
Yeah, unless it's too much adventure for you.
"Lean close to your partner and inhale deeply.
Describe everything you experience."
Um, hair.
Oh, come on, the card says describe.
Yeah, Al, gimme some of that poetry.
Hair and head, and, um...
flowers and shit.
Aww, Honeybunches.
I felt that.
Right here.
Done. Next.
- Do it, girl, do it, do it. - It's me, right? Okay.
Roll them bones.
Okay.
- Story. - Oh, shit.
"Describe..."
"Describe your first encounter
with your current partner."
- Hmm! - It all started
in the yogurt aisle.
Actually, I was his teacher.
- I know. - That's hot!
Well, it was a continuing ed class, so
totally aboveboard.
Yeah, yeah, but then one day,
you made him stay late for detention, and then...
- Actually... - We grew tomatoes.
Max was a little disappointed.
It was a hydroponics class, six weeks.
First session, we plant our little tomato guy,
and I'm thinking, "Yeah, yeah, okay, fine,
but when do we get the real stuff," you know?
Well, it turns out the answer was never.
I completely thought he was gonna bail.
And lo and behold,
there he was every Tuesday in the front row.
Aw, persistent, huh?
I'm all about that stayin' power.
Ooh.
So what happened next?
Whaddya mean?
How'd you hook up?
Max is in the front row, class is almost over...
Oh, okay.
Well, um, after the last session,
um, he asked me out for coffee,
and I didn't see why not,
and that's it.
Okay.
That's technically an encounter, I guess.
Excuse me, all right.
Your turn.
"Draw a challenge."
Shit.
"The elbow is an overlooked erogenous zone.
Prove it
on the player to your right."
I mean, the rules are the rules, so...
Oh!
Damn.
Oh. So, uh...
what's out there, anyway?
Supposedly, you can walk to the ocean.
No, seriously?
We gotta do that tomorrow morning.
Oh, I think we should probably
get out of their hair first thing,
don't you think?
Well, how 'bout second thing?
Max.
Too much adventure for ya?
I just... I'm exhausted.
- We should probably... - It's, like, 10:30.
Well, I'm super tired.
Um, I'm gonna turn in.
You can take the bedroom.
- What? - Yeah.
We're fine on the floor.
Seriously.
We don't even own a mattress,
they're so...
Okay, thank you, thanks.
- Good night. - Yeah.
Your turn.
Well, I guess it is.
Come on!
Papa needs a jet ski!
Seven!
Max?
Max!
Al.
What's going on?
They're gone.
What do you mean?
- Where... - They're just...
Hey, Al!
Listen to me.
Where is Max?
We were walking,
and I had to stop to take a piss,
and when I found them...
What?
They were hooking up.
They what?
Your fucking dude was, like,
groping my girlfriend, okay?
And I-I ran up to try to save her,
and she just laughed at me.
And then they ran off.
- But... why... - Why?
I mean, Greta...
do you really want me to answer that?
I...
"Am I a terrible person
for eating a live octopus?"
It sounded so good on the menu, but now...
apparently, they're smarter than dolphins.
Okay.
Your turn.
Any question, just write it down.
I'm gonna say a little prayer thing,
and then we're gonna set it on fire,
and then...
What?
We will wait for an answer.
I'm good.
Come on, you're not even the least bit curious?
About what?
I know, I know.
You don't wanna call him.
But who is this woman, anyway,
- this one that Max... - I don't know, Greta?
And that's it?
Well, what else is there?
Who is she?
What's her deal?
How old is she?
I'm just saying,
if Jason ghosted me for one of his students,
I would fucking hunt her down.
"What's he see in her?
What does she have that I don't?"
This is a good thing, okay?
I-I should have ended it months ago.
Max was fun, I guess, but honestly,
it kind of felt like an effort.
Well, it's supposed to be an effort,
that's how you know it's worth it.
I am done with effort.
I am done pretending.
I have everything that I need here.
I have my books, my plants,
a lock on the door.
Now all I want is silence for fucking ever.
Is that not allowed?
I'm glad I stopped by.
Hello?
Oh, uh, hi, um...
I-I rented your cabin last week.
Okay.
And I was... I was wondering if I could, uh,
get the contact info for one of your guests.
Um, why?
Oh, um... she, uh, she left something behind.
- A book. - Huh.
Yeah, I just... I wanted to get it back to her.
Um, Greta, I think her name is?
Well, I can't really give out guests' personal info.
Right, um, it just seems like the kinda thing
she would want back.
Um...
You're in the city?
Yeah.
Well, I'll be driving through there tomorrow,
I can swing by
- and pick it up. - Oh...
no, that's... that's uh...
It's no problem, really.
You know what?
I'm gonna be at work, so...
What's the address?
Um... 173 Capp.
Great. See you then.
Great. Bye.
Fuck.
Oh.
How can I help you?
Uh, I think we spoke on the phone last night?
Oh, right, you're here for the, um...
lemme just, um... be sure I...
Oh, 'scuse me.
Oh.
Uh... did ya water it?
You didn't say anything about watering.
Uh, yeah, I just assumed...
What, that I was some kind of plant whisperer?
Come on.
I take it you want some kind of refund?
I'm open to however you wanna make this right.
Okay, um...
- Is that one of those... - It's a verbena,
or it was.
That is that thin-leafed variant, right,
that Lazarus strain?
- Um... - What, is that, like,
rare or something?
Would you, uh, would you take ten bucks for it?
I... I'm not sure.
Fifteen. Whaddya say?
Hey, hey, hey, whoa, that's my plant, man.
It was your plant.
Twenty-five's as high as I'm gonna go.
- Thirty. - Forty.
What the fuck?
Fifty.
Fuckin' tryin' to swindle me out of my own plant.
Wow.
It was a pleasure doing business with you.
I do have a whole shelf of them,
if you're interested.
No, I only like the dead ones.
Um... that book?
Yeah, right, um...
There is no book.
What?
I... I lied, I made it all up.
I'm not sure I understand.
I rented your cabin with my boyfriend,
and when we got there,
there was this other woman there
named Greta,
and, uh, that night, he and she, um...
- Oh. - Yeah, but I should never
have called you and had you come out here.
- Fuck. - No, no, please,
not a problem.
I'm an old man livin' in the forest.
This is the most excitement I'll have all week.
Big city, relationship troubles.
Horticultural scams.
Exactly.
Well, at least let me buy you a cup of coffee?
So I... we... I run out and there's this
little clearing,
and the guy's sitting there, Al,
and he's practically crying,
and he told me,
so I run back to the cabin.
They're gone and that was it.
Um, but... so you want to call her?
I mean, I don't even know who this woman is
and I just feel like such a cliche.
No, it's just... I mean, calling her,
I'm not so sure... Doesn't usually end well,
- in my experience. - No, I know.
Yeah, no, especially if she's not willing
to talk about it or what have you.
Holy living shit!
I knew it.
I knew it was you.
- Hello, Ramon. - Nicholas Barlow.
L-O-fucking-L.
Aren't you off in a yurt or whatever?
Shitting into a little hole in the ground.
What are you doing in the city?
How do you guys know each other?
Brawny Towel man here taught me everything I know.
Oh, well, that's a little...
Are you in, um, vacation rentals as well?
You're fucking kidding, right?
- Nicky Barlow? - Ramon.
This guy is a legend.
Decades ahead of his time.
We worked together, it was a bio tech start up,
- it was... - What was it called?
Oh, nothing anyone ever heard of.
Yeah, because we were bought out by GlaxoSmithKline.
It's epic. We made some serious coin on that deal.
Everyone but, uh, Paul Bunyan here
who backed out last minute.
Well, it was all about sticking
to your ideals back then.
So come on,
who have you been working with these days?
- Whatcha been up to? - No, I...
You're looking at it.
Huh.
Well, maybe we should talk.
I'm stepping into the, uh, male cosmetic space
and we could really use somebody...
Oh, shit.
I'm already late.
- For what? - For my other... thing.
Oh, don't even. Don't you fucking even.
I'm so, so sorry. I am.
I'm about to offer you a first class ride
on a diamond-studded hockey stick
and you're walking, again.
Unbelievable.
What are you, VC?
- You look like VC. - Oh, I...
Can I tell you more about AXI Works?
Did you know that one in three Korean men
uses eyeliner often or daily?
Whereas the American and European markets
are completely...
Yeah, it looks like a little hole in the wall
but it's completely hidden.
Called Eight Ways, that's the name of the restaurant,
and we're going next week.
- And it's entirely... - Octopus.
Exactly.
The entire menu.
Super fresh, it's like brine to dine.
- I can't wait. - Wait, you're letting Cole
have his own Spotify account?
He's seven years old.
But you're not worried about the cult?
Oh, that Times article?
Wait, what? What article?
These, like, cyberpunks,
they found a way to insert coded messages
into people's play lists.
One kid killed himself.
Oh my God, why?
- It's a hoax. - It's real!
Angela, at work, she played one for me
and I could, like, feel it.
Yeah, no, they actually got me,
one of those cults.
- What? - Yeah. Few years back.
- Oh my God. - Yeah, I started out
listening online
and then this guy said that he had
what I was "looking for"
and lured me into this big warehouse.
Oh, Jesus, really?
Max, what are you talking about?
Took all my money,
gave me a bag full of 7-inches.
Seven... Is that a drug or something?
No, 7-inch records.
He bought records.
Wait, I thought we were talking about Spotify.
Hey man, this was some hardcore shit, okay?
Changed me forever, so look out!
Protect your kids!
Max has his finger on the pulse
of the underground.
Just look at him.
What's that supposed to mean?
Come on.
How much was that shirt?
$150?
- What? - Plus shipping from Tokyo.
Who knew it was so expensive
to look like you don't give a shit?
Hey, where you going?
We're outta wine.
- You okay? - I'm fine.
Hey, where's the wine?
Wine? Single vine, bio-whatever
in a cute, ironic label.
I'm gonna do something about it, okay?
This is you in action?
You think I don't know how important this is?
Do you?
Buy something and let's go.
We're late enough as it is.
What difference does it make?
You're not gonna do anything anyway.
Can I help you?
- Hello? - Oh, hi.
It's Kath from the other day.
Oh, hey. Of course.
Did ya make it to your... thing?
Ohh.
Yeah, sorry about that.
Well, not as sorry as you're gonna be
when you hear how I invested that 50 bucks.
You didn't.
We're talking the future of male cosmetics here,
it's go big or go home.
So, I... I thought about what you said.
- Yeah? - And you're right.
Calling her isn't gonna work.
She probably wouldn't even pick up.
Yeah, probably not.
So... I need to find her.
What, you wanna confront her?
Well, I mean, who is this woman anyway?
What is her deal?
Does she even realize what she did?
Well, yeah...
So, listen, I get what you said
about privacy,
but I really need an address.
Eh, I mean, but...
are you sure you wanna do this?
Yeah, I think so, yeah, I'm definitely sure.
Okay, let's do it.
Wait, you and me?
Well, you're talking about a stake-out, right?
Can't do a stake-out without a partner.
Maybe not.
Kind of a bucket list item for me, really.
C'mon, we'll do it up.
Sunglasses, pistachios,
an inconspicuous white van.
You have a van?
Uh, no. You?
I have a station wagon.
That'll do.
Can I help you?
You guys shopping for the cult?
What the fuck you talking about?
Exactly.
Oh damn, is that Santa Claus?
R.I.P.
It's all those milk and cookies, ya know?
That'll do it to ya.
What if I were shopping for the cult?
- Uh... - Would you join?
Yeah, I mean, I'm interested,
but, full disclosure,
I just broke out of my last cult,
so I kinda wanna play the field for a while.
You're funny.
We were just about to get drunk across the street.
You wanna come with?
What, now?
Unless you only drink, like, Merlot.
Let's get shitfaced.
I think that's the address.
Yup.
Hey, why do you get the cool glasses?
No way.
Ahh.
Cold coffee, donut.
So why did you walk away from that deal anyway?
What?
That bio tech thing.
Sounded like a fuck-ton of money.
Eh, well...
my dad died before the signing.
I'm so sorry.
No, it's fine, I knew it was coming.
Was he sick?
Synaptic hypotrophism.
It's this genetic thing.
Basically, his entire nervous system
just collapsed on itself.
Oh God.
Every night, I'd sit in that hospital room,
helpless, watching him thrash around in agony.
And then the next day I'd, uh, go to the office
and there were these 20-year-olds
running around playing Nerf Darts all day
and it kinda made me a little insane.
Yeah.
Then he was dead.
I... I can't even imagine what that must have...
Oh, it was liberating.
I saw that I didn't want to live like that anymore.
Milestone to milestone, deal to deal,
pretending like it was all gonna last forever.
I got out just in time.
Look.
That's her.
What do we do?
Is that definitely her?
Definitely.
Where the hell is she going?
Wait.
You check out up there
and I'll look over here
and then we'll meet back here.
Hi.
Uh, can I go...
I... just for a second.
I'll... I'll pay whatever.
Is your... is your kid in there or something?
What?
I said, is your kid in there or something?
Hold on, I can't hear you.
Are you still coming or...
Oh my God.
I have to call you back.
You're Kath, right?
From the... the house?
Yeah.
I'm Greta.
Yeah, I know.
What are you doing here?
I'm...
Where's Max?
Yeah, I deserve this.
Wha... What do you mean?
I've been thinking about you, you know?
You were so cool and, like, independent
and then I just...
...interfered.
I feel sick about it. I do.
I know that sounds whatever, but it's true.
But then, I look at Max
and he smiles at me
and I just...
I can't let him go.
I mean, I don't need to tell you,
you know him better than anyone.
Right.
No, but still, I feel like a...
a home wrecker.
Such a fucking cliché, I know.
What the fuck?!
Watch where you're swinging your dicks, assholes!
Fuck!
Oh, I...
I really am sorry.
Really.
Um...
my friends are waiting.
I'm just...
Um...
No sign of her.
You?
It's like, you listen to some of the early-early stuff,
"Protect Ya Neck," right,
how did they even make that?
Hm.
And then 30 years go by,
nothing even comes close.
Why?
Because genius is on a timetable.
- We've hit our quota. - So what?
There are only like a set number of geniuses
in the world?
Think about it.
- Think about this century. - Okay.
I mean, you only get like one genius,
one true genius,
every few decades, if you're lucky.
Huh. Is that right?
Yeah, I've been tracking it.
How old are you anyway?
Hm.
A hundred.
For real.
Fifty.
Wow. You look pretty good for 50.
Shit, I was fucking joking.
Fifty? Really?
You look like you work out.
I did, like, a yoga retreat once.
Are you vegan?
Is this a... What is this?
Just getting to know you, friend.
Wondering. Uh, no, I mean, I did...
I tried it once or twice, but it made me real tired.
- I need that iron. - What about unprotected sex?
- What? - Have you ever had
unprotected sex?
What am I, at the doctor here?
They're normal questions.
Yeah.
These are like third date questions, man.
Do you think we're dating?
No.
I mean, what? No, I mean...
Look, we're just fucking with you.
Ohh.
Listen, you wanna come to a show?
- When? - Tomorrow.
- It's in Oakland or... - Up north, actually.
- In the redwoods. - No shit.
Yeah, we need the space 'cause it's so...
It's, like, very intense ambient noise core.
Ohh. You mean like Fear of God,
Anal Cunt, that type of shit?
- Exactly. - Oh man.
Oh, it must sound so fucking primordial.
I mean, drums bouncing off all those trees.
Like...
Ah! Fuck! God damn it.
Hey, don't fucking do that.
You're gonna get an infection.
- No, it's no... - Give me your hand.
- Tomorrow... - Yeah?
You're gonna drive out to Cazadero.
Isn't that like two hours away?
Are you in for this or not?
I'm in, yeah.
You come to 131 Manzanita.
Is that where the show is?
Sort of. It's like a cabin.
We'll meet there at night
and head out the next morning.
Into the woods?
Exactly.
I'm in the cult now, huh?
What's going on in there anyway?
Some kind of a...
I really don't know.
Do you wanna talk about it?
Not really.
My wife left me when I was 36 years old.
- Shit. - No, I mean,
I don't blame her.
I wasn't what you'd call my best self.
Are we ever?
So she moved to Austin,
took our baby son with her,
um, I didn't know what to do with myself
so I just drive and drive,
no destination.
Then one day, I hit this dead end,
middle of nowhere,
surrounded by redwoods.
I just sit there, turning to stone.
But then when I look up and look out the window,
there it is,
like a sign from the heavens.
Little cabin for sale.
It's a little heavy-handed, I know,
but I was in no condition to argue,
so I cut a check right then and there.
Of course, I didn't know
about the leaks and the rats.
So it's not exactly the fantasy I imagined,
but...
it got me through.
You know?
That's what we do.
We survive.
So what you're saying is,
is if I make it through all this fucking bullshit,
then I get my own cabin in the woods?
That's it exactly.
Are you thirsty?
Um, um, yeah, sure.
I mean like really thirsty?
Guess they were outta wine, huh?
No, listen, I was at the store and...
You were gone for two hours.
Yeah, that's what I'm trying to tell you.
You don't have to make excuses.
- I'm not. - Well, then just act
like a fucking grownup for once.
Okay, I'm sorry
that I'm not one of your mature friends.
I'm sorry that I don't just... sip wine
and talk about the scary world out there.
They have no fucking clue.
- And you do? - Yes!
Or at least I try.
Sometimes you have to jump in
and just live.
Have an actual experience, ya know?
Okay, fine, let's have an actual experience.
Everything I propose you just shoot down.
- Like what? - Like the dopamine fast,
the pillow fight on the ferry.
Forgive me for not wanting to hit a grown man...
See? There's always something!
I don't want to miss out on life, do you?
You might like some of these things
if you tried 'em.
I don't need to spend another night
in an abandoned warehouse
with a bunch of fucking tweakers.
- I've done my time. - Yeah, like years ago.
Wow.
You know what? You're right. I'm sorry.
No, no, I know you're just trying to...
No, listen.
Look, we should take a little trip.
- Just the two of us. - What?
Aren't you always saying
that you wanna get away from all this,
the noise, the trash, the honking cars?
Well, yeah.
So let's do it.
We'll rent a cabin up north, old school.
Well, that does sound kinda nice.
Right? We should totally do it.
- Tomorrow. - Tomorrow?
- Yeah. - But we would have to...
Oh, you wouldn't have to find what?
- Come on! - It just seems a little...
Come on, this is what we need right now, right?
So, why would we wait?
All right, let's do it.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
That's what I'm talking about.
I gotta go find my hat.
Of course you do.
When I was in high school,
anytime I went through a shitty breakup or drama,
we would chug one of these things,
the whole thing, it was kind of a ritual.
Yeah, did that work?
I mean, I survived, but how?
It is, um... yeah, it's large.
What did you get?
Sprite.
That's it?
- What? - One flavor?
That's... weak.
The whole point is to mix it up
and make your own personal blend.
Oh. I got a lot to learn.
Hey.
Your father's condition,
you said it was genetic.
Uh, yeah.
But... but you're okay?
- I'm... I'm sorry. - No, no, no, it's fine.
Glad to know what I'm up against.
And this treatment I'm working on...
Oh, you?
It's a kind of a transfusion therapy.
- Oh. - Seems promising.
You're working on it yourself?
Well, since I've been studying this stuff for 30 years,
might as well put it to good use.
God!
What?
I...
Here I am, obsessing over this girl
who, let's be frank,
probably did me a huge favor,
meanwhile, you're out here trying to save your own life.
What, are you kidding me?
I've stared death in the face
and I've been dumped.
Give me death, please and thank you.
We can't swap.
No, not a chance, you're on your own.
Ohh.
- Where is he? - Stop worrying.
Stop worrying? What if he bails?
Dude!
I... you probably scared him off
with all those fucking personal questions.
He'll be here.
You saw what he was like.
I saw how he was looking at you.
And how you were looking at him.
What can I say?
I have a thing for delusional idiots.
- Even if he does come... - He's coming.
Even if he does, are we seriously gonna...
Stop it! You know what we need to do.
- If you aren't prepared... - I'm not saying
- I'm not prepared. - So then quit being such a baby!
- Everything's gonna go fine. - How are you so sure?
Because people are predictable.
It's the saddest thing about them.
When they want something,
they'll do whatever it takes.
- Is that him? - Of course it's him.
- Go talk to him. - What?
Be nice.
Why is he on the passenger side?
Wait, who the fuck is driving?
I knew this was a mistake.
I'm calling it off.
No, Al!
- Yo. - Who the fuck is that?
It's my girlfriend.
But she doesn't know about the show
'cause I wanted it to be like a surprise.
This isn't what we agreed to.
Shh, follow my lead.
Yeah, um, we rented this place.
- So I was just wondering... - You what?
The place is ours, we booked it.
All our stuff is inside.
Want one for the road?
She hates to drive at night.
- Her eyes. - Oh my God.
- What? - I'll be in the car.
Hey!
- You can stay. - What?
Seriously?
That's... that's great.
What the fuck are you doing?
Shh.
She's gone.
It's wearing off.
Well?
Give him more, dick.
Let's get him inside first.
Hello?
Ooh, Jesus.
Oh, no, I'm sorry, I wasn't...
- I... - Um...
I wasn't expecting you.
Of course not.
I tried calling, but...
Yeah, the reception up here is, yeah.
Yeah.
Um...
God.
Back in my kitchen,
this seemed like a really good plan.
No.
No, it's, uh...
I mean, I'm glad to see you.
Aw, um, this is for you.
Oh.
- Yeah, thank you. - It's... it's an avocado tree.
Oh, okay, of course.
Or it will be in 15 years.
I'll clear my schedule.
I... I just... I wanted to say thank you
and to apologize.
About what?
You know, the stakeout, my whole search.
I mean, it's just not me,
certainly not who I wanna be,
and I should never have dragged you into it.
Hey.
I dragged myself.
Just the world is so fucking loud.
I can hardly hear myself anymore, you know?
What do you think I'm doin' up here?
Well, I am done with that, truly.
Um, did you want to come in?
Oh, sure.
All right.
Thank you.
Uh, it's a bit of a mess in here.
- Let me get this. - Are you kidding?
I would kill for a place like this.
I can get you some tea.
Water's on, I got black.
And I guess, well, black.
Oh, I'll take that.
Anything warm.
Okay.
Is that... does that have to do with your treatment?
Yeah, yeah.
And it's helping?
Well, learning as I go.
Don't always get it right.
You're not worried?
Huh, about what?
I don't know, experimenting on yourself?
I'd be a complete wreck.
Oh, I've been a wreck.
I've spent years feeling like
I had an expiration date stamped on my forehead.
Well, what changed?
Well...
When my dad died,
I had to sell his house and sort through his things.
A whole life reduced to a few random odds and ends.
I didn't know what to keep and to toss.
Eventually I just had to get out of there
and just get a drink or something.
It's February, it's fucking cold, Minnesota.
So I grabbed my old man's coat and I opened the door
and I'm hit by a blast of Arctic air.
And I shoved my hand in his pockets
and I come up with this.
They gave him eight months to live.
So, he'd put an X through each day.
One by one.
Until, yeah, here.
They stop.
October 21st.
Nine days short of what he was promised.
Jesus.
My body was about to turn on me, I knew that.
But I still had my brain.
I didn't have to sit there helpless
just marking off the days.
So, I figured I'd use what I got,
try and tip the scales a little.
In between bouts of sheer mortal terror, of course.
Here's to sheer mortal terror.
Hm.
Are you cold?
- Mm. - It's a little cold.
Maybe I'll start a fire.
Sorry, I don't have a lot of guests.
Well, to be fair,
this was more like a home invasion.
Yeah.
Let me get some firewood.
Thank you.
What if she comes back?
She's not coming back.
What if she goes to the cops or something?
Dude, believe me.
She's back in her bougie fucking loft right now,
bawling in the fetal position,
going bulimic on a box of powdered doughnuts.
Remember how she went to bed at, like, 10:30?
Yeah, exactly.
And their hot date at Starbucks.
Seriously.
She's nothing to worry about.
And... and think about it.
What this means for us.
You and me.
Right?
Well, what's so urgent?
Dad, hey.
We've been waiting like a million years.
- Hello, Greta. - How are you feeling?
- Fine. - No symptoms or anything?
It doesn't matter.
What do you mean it doesn't matter?
Well, I don't want you worryin' about me.
How long ago did I move in with you
after Mom threw me out?
I don't know.
- A year? - A year.
One year out of 23.
That's all the time we've had together.
I can't change the past.
I know.
I just...
That's not enough.
I just got here.
I can't... I can't let you...
I'm trying, okay?
I'm doing everything I can.
But you figured it out, right?
The treatment works.
Well, in theory, yes.
You know it's not realistic.
I'd need...
You know it isn't possible.
- What if it was? - What?
What if you had what you need?
Jesus Christ.
I told you, this is our way out.
- What the hell did you do? - For the treatment.
You've been talking about this for like six months.
So you just snatched a random person off the street?
You know it doesn't work that way.
- It wasn't random. - We're not fucking idiots.
We made sure he'd pair with you.
He's got all the attributes.
He's clean.
This is insane.
You're insane.
We're trying to save your life here.
And his.
You think I want to lose him any more than you do?
Dad, please, I just want to help.
I didn't ask for this.
Okay.
So, should we dump him in the river or...
- Well, I'm not saying... - No.
What's done is done.
Your son has given you a gift.
Will you accept it?
It's gonna work, Dad.
I know it.
Say cheese.
Hey.
- What'd she say? Does she know? - What the fuck?
I had to run out here fucking barefoot.
Everything's fine. It's under control.
Are you sure?
Yeah, she doesn't know anything.
Well, then what the fuck is she doing here?
She's, um... I don't know.
Uh, visiting.
Visiting?
Oh my God.
Does she have a fucking crush on you?
No.
You just had to visit her little flower shop.
Well, she called with that story.
I had to find out what she knew.
And that ridiculous basement skit.
She wasn't gonna stop.
And... she was suffering.
I felt responsible.
I'm not the kind of person who would just...
What?
What kind of person are you?
Enough.
She'll finish her tea and I'll send her on her way.
Wait. She's still here?
And you left her there alone?
Oh.
Fuck this.
What...
Greta.
Fuck.
Oh my God.
Max?
Max.
What are you doing here?
What's going on?
We gotta get goin'.
No, Max.
I'm... I'm gonna help you.
No.
Beat the crowd.
Crowd? What?
Get right up against the stage.
Max. Max.
Max?
Oh...
Max.
Oh my God.
Please, no.
That will kill him.
What is this?
Kath, none of this was my choice.
- Not your choice? - Dad?
Let me handle this.
We're gonna have a conversation.
What the fuck is going on?
I told you about my condition, right?
- And the transfusions. - Yeah, but...
Well, your friend here
is the source of those transfusions.
That device isolates the proteins that I need...
Oh my fucking God.
Oh, hey, hey.
This dude can fucking write.
- Unhook him. - Kath.
No, shut this down now!
Well, that's not an option, unfortunately.
Your friend and I share a single blood supply.
Share? Okay.
Yeah, it's a form of parabiosis.
He needs me, I need him.
But once the process has been initiated...
Then what? He... he's just like this forever?
Yeah, it's not ideal, but I...
I thought he left me.
You fucking fed me all that wisdom.
And... and he was here the whole time?
Well, I didn't want it like this.
- They just... - Of course you wanted this.
You just don't like to look at it.
That's why you've been lounging in that La-Z-Boy
while the cow stays out here in the barn.
- Cow? - Yeah, that's what we call him.
Little Maxie the blood cow.
- Stop it. - Moo!
Stop it.
You have to understand.
I watched my father give up.
I... I saw it eat him from the inside out.
I had to find another way.
For me, for my son.
What?
No, sorry.
It's a touching story,
I've only heard it like a bajillion times.
I'm sorry my death bores you.
I mean, we're all dying, but...
What's that?
Nicholas Levi Barlow, 57.
Hey, that's you.
Test for synaptic hypertrophism,
blah, blah, blah.
Ah, here.
Results: Negativo.
Dad?
Is this true?
What's the difference?
If it wasn't the hypertrophism,
it'd be something.
This treatment is attacking the real problem.
What real problem?
Cellular decay of all kinds.
It's... it's complicated.
It's not that complicated.
Your daddy here isn't trying to cure some disease.
He just doesn't want to get old.
I mean, older than he already is.
Party boy here is a fuckin' fountain of youth.
But you told me our blood...
I thought I was sick.
Well, you said it yourself.
We need time.
And now, thanks to you, I have it.
We can make up for all those lost years,
all that lost time, we get it back.
Why didn't you just tell me the truth?
I didn't think you'd help.
You never even gave me the chance.
- Son, I... - Stop.
And you knew all this.
I knew it needed to happen.
And I didn't want you getting pussy feet
before I could tap my own cow.
- What? - Hey.
Neither of us want me to end up like her, right?
So, everyone wins.
Well, maybe not everyone.
- Greta... - What are we gonna do?
Let her go?
She's seen everything.
- Well, maybe I can talk... - No.
We're done with your conversations.
I want it.
What?
The treatment.
I want it.
No, it's just... You're still young.
- It's for... - I'm young?
Well, what I mean is...
Hey, my time is running out just like yours.
Sheer mortal terror?
Isn't that what you just said to me.
Well, fuck, that's me.
Every minute of every fuckin' day.
Barlow, can we...
And Max?
I tell people he was fun,
that he was unpredictable,
when really it was just...
I'd see his eager face and for a minute
I could forget that time was passing.
Anything to distract myself
from the years just fucking disappearing.
I used him too.
Same as you.
Only your way, apparently, works, right?
Um...
Well... yeah.
Well, then, give it to me.
For fuck's sake.
Well, it doesn't work that way.
Remember, I told you, we're paired.
- We... - Oh, no, no, no.
I don't want his blood.
I want hers.
You're serious?
Hey...
I understand how you ended up here.
I feel it too.
Barlow, what the fuck are we waiting for?
I... mark the days off on a calendar like your dad.
I...
You gotta make a decision.
Me or her.
Fucking hell, do I have to do everything?
Is she clean?
All right.
Uh-oh, did we give your daddy
too much of that sweet young blood?
- Al. - 'Cause he's being
a real jackass right now.
Al, I'm gonna need your help.
Are you kidding? Are you kidding?
I lied to you.
I know, I was wrong.
I'm sorry.
But we can get through this.
- Together. - Oh, come on.
Do you seriously expect Mr. Emo Needle Dick here
to get... the fuck?
Yeah, yeah.
Lift, Al.
I am.
Okay, put her down.
Quick, huh?
Here we go.
Sorry, this part isn't pretty, but...
...soon... um, Kath, what are you doing?
Stay back.
- I will fucking... - No, Al.
Do you... mind?
Please.
Can we just, uh, talk about this a little?
I mean, we only just met, I know,
but you've... I mean, you came all the way out here.
Uh... and I wonder if you're feeling something
like how I feel.
Is that true?
W... we should give ourselves time.
Real time to figure this out.
Together.
Please.
This might be your last chance.
Last chance for what?
Well, you're not getting any younger.
Fuck you.
Oh, shit.
Oh, the cops are here.
Don't worry.
I'll see you at the after-party.
No, no, no, no, no!
God, Al give me the port.
Just give me.
Kath.
I was just scared.
We're all scared.
What are you doing?
Al!
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