1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:04,630 --> 00:00:06,548 [door creaks] 3 00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:08,258 MONET: And don't forget, I only drink 4 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 5 00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:10,093 the sparkling holy water. 6 00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:11,803 It needs bubbles and a blessing. 7 00:00:11,803 --> 00:00:14,139 Okay? - [chuckles] 8 00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:15,516 - Sorry I'm late. 9 00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:17,142 - Ah, we're used to it by now. 10 00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:19,353 We all know you run on-- - Watch it. 11 00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:20,687 - Drag time. 12 00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:22,523 MONET: Mm-hmm. 13 00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:24,775 Now, where's the closet? 14 00:00:24,775 --> 00:00:26,818 GINGER: Oh, there is no closet. 15 00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:29,530 Just hang it on one of those rusty nails over there. 16 00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:30,697 - Rusty Nails. 17 00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,241 Whatever happened to that queen? 18 00:00:32,241 --> 00:00:34,117 - She died... 19 00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:36,495 of tetanus. [trumpet "wah-wahs"] 20 00:00:36,495 --> 00:00:38,622 - So is there no mini fridge for my homemade hummus 21 00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:40,791 and my little organic baby carrots? 22 00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:42,084 - No, but you're in luck. 23 00:00:42,084 --> 00:00:44,545 It's colder than a witch's tit back here. 24 00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:46,421 Come on, focus on the bright side. 25 00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:49,341 At least we both have a light bulb this time. 26 00:00:49,341 --> 00:00:50,676 - Bitch, I got two. 27 00:00:50,676 --> 00:00:52,886 [laughs] - [laughs mockingly] 28 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:55,514 We also have that creepy old TV in the corner. 29 00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:57,266 [dramatic musical sting] 30 00:00:57,266 --> 00:00:58,433 - Girl, this thing is so old, 31 00:00:58,433 --> 00:00:59,852 it probably gets three channels: 32 00:00:59,852 --> 00:01:01,228 straight, white, and privileged. 33 00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:02,980 - [chuckles] - [scoffs] 34 00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:05,399 We can't even watch The Handmaid's Tale. 35 00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:06,775 - We don't need to watch it. 36 00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:09,278 We are living it. 37 00:01:09,278 --> 00:01:11,405 [dramatic musical sting] - [screams] 38 00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:13,282 [ominous music] 39 00:01:13,282 --> 00:01:16,034 Oh, hell no. 40 00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:17,411 - That can't be good. 41 00:01:18,871 --> 00:01:20,789 Turn it off. Turn it off. 42 00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:22,416 - Bitch, how? It's not even plugged in. 43 00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:25,878 - I don't know, just do your stand-up routine. 44 00:01:25,878 --> 00:01:27,421 It always turns me off 45 00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:32,718 TELEVISION: Harder. 46 00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:34,428 - Did you just hear that? 47 00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:39,016 TELEVISION: Harder. 48 00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:42,352 - This TV is kinky. 49 00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:44,897 TELEVISION: Slap my backside. - [laughs] 50 00:01:44,897 --> 00:01:46,440 - Don't threaten me with a good time, 51 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:47,733 Mr. Standard Def-- - No, no, no, no. 52 00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:48,901 Monét, no, no. 53 00:01:48,901 --> 00:01:50,777 If I've learned anything in my life, it is, 54 00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,362 do not wear white after Labor Day 55 00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:55,407 and never mess with horny talking TVs. 56 00:01:55,407 --> 00:01:59,119 ♪ ♪ 57 00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:01,705 [both sigh] 58 00:02:01,705 --> 00:02:03,123 That was weird, right? 59 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,499 - Yeah, really weird. 60 00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:07,711 [eerie music] 61 00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:11,673 ♪ ♪ 62 00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:13,884 - You're on in ten. 63 00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:15,928 Oh, and I forgot to mention, 64 00:02:15,928 --> 00:02:17,763 whatever you do, 65 00:02:17,763 --> 00:02:20,098 do not touch that old TV. 66 00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:22,809 ♪ ♪ 67 00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:24,228 Break a leg, ladies. 68 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:29,691 BOTH: Now a warning? 69 00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:31,443 [both gasp] 70 00:02:31,443 --> 00:02:34,571 TELEVISION: I want you inside me. 71 00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:41,578 ♪ ♪ 72 00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:47,167 [TV belches] 73 00:02:48,460 --> 00:02:51,171 [spooky organ music] 74 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:54,007 [thunder rumbling] 75 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,968 - Toto, I don't think 76 00:02:55,968 --> 00:02:57,803 we're in West Hollywood anymore. 77 00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,555 - Where the hell are we? 78 00:02:59,555 --> 00:03:03,058 - Well, duh, we're obviously in a subatomic, microcosmic, 79 00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:05,227 parallel quantum universe, silly. 80 00:03:05,227 --> 00:03:07,646 - Is that the same as an NFT? 81 00:03:07,646 --> 00:03:10,524 Monét, be careful what you touch! 82 00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:13,694 Did you learn nothing from that demonic TV? 83 00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:16,196 Ahh! A pretty book! Move. 84 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:17,739 - No, no, no, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait! 85 00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:19,116 - Oh, relax. 86 00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:22,202 Maybe this dusty old book will tell us why we're here. 87 00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:27,583 - What does it say? 88 00:03:27,583 --> 00:03:32,171 - It's a script for The Huluween Drag Special, 89 00:03:32,171 --> 00:03:34,715 "a comedic romp through horror TV and movie tropes 90 00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:37,384 "designed to promote Hulu's celebration of Halloween 91 00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:40,554 "in a fun and entertaining way. 92 00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:42,306 Only on Hulu." 93 00:03:42,306 --> 00:03:44,474 - That is an awful title. 94 00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:47,144 I would've gone with something like... 95 00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:50,063 The Huluween Dragstravaganza. 96 00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:53,233 [squeaks] - Yeah. Yeah. 97 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,610 Ooh, this says, 98 00:03:54,610 --> 00:03:58,405 "Host this variety show, or die." 99 00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,324 What do you think that means? 100 00:04:00,324 --> 00:04:01,909 - I'm not a linguistics expert, Mary, 101 00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:04,244 but I think it means that if we don't host the show, 102 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,370 we're gonna die! 103 00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:07,206 - Oh, yeah. 104 00:04:07,206 --> 00:04:08,457 Well, if they want me to host, 105 00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:10,375 they're gonna have to ask my agent. 106 00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:13,003 I don't even think I'm available. 107 00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:15,547 [demonic screaming] 108 00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:18,634 Good news: I'm available. 109 00:04:18,634 --> 00:04:20,677 - Okay, well, if only there was 110 00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:22,471 some big over-the-top opening number 111 00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:25,516 to help explain what all of this was about. 112 00:04:25,516 --> 00:04:30,479 - ♪ There's something chilling in the atmosphere ♪ 113 00:04:30,479 --> 00:04:33,315 - ♪ Surrounded by so many horrors here ♪ 114 00:04:33,315 --> 00:04:34,525 - What'd you call me? 115 00:04:34,525 --> 00:04:36,443 - ♪ With all this ass, we cannot hide ♪ 116 00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:39,530 - ♪ And in these heels, we cannot run ♪ 117 00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:43,325 BOTH: ♪ It seems the nightmare's just begun ♪ 118 00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:45,118 [thunder cracks] 119 00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:47,996 [upbeat spooky music] 120 00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:50,499 ♪ We've been dragged to a world full of fright ♪ 121 00:04:50,499 --> 00:04:52,042 - ♪ Of things that creep and crawl ♪ 122 00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:53,627 ♪ And go bump in the night ♪ 123 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,087 - ♪ It's glam and it's gore ♪ 124 00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:56,839 - ♪ It's bloody couture ♪ 125 00:04:56,839 --> 00:04:59,883 BOTH: ♪ And every freaky thing we've ever seen before ♪ 126 00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:02,386 MONET: ♪ Dungeons, demons, goblins, and ghoul ♪ 127 00:05:02,386 --> 00:05:04,346 - ♪ Is it wrong to say the werewolf's arms ♪ 128 00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:05,806 ♪ Are making me drool? ♪ 129 00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,266 MONET: ♪ It's crass and it's camp ♪ 130 00:05:07,266 --> 00:05:08,767 GINGER: ♪ It's monsters and vamps ♪ 131 00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:11,603 - ♪ Wearing chains and leather and some nipple clamps ♪ 132 00:05:11,603 --> 00:05:13,772 Oh, y'all are kinky. Okay. 133 00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:17,985 ALL: ♪ This is a Huluween Dragstravaganza ♪ 134 00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:20,988 ♪ Huluween, lost in the land of ♪ 135 00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:24,241 ♪ Huluween Dragstravaganza ♪ 136 00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:27,494 ♪ Will we survive? Will we make it out alive? ♪ 137 00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:29,746 ♪ ♪ 138 00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:32,374 BOTH: ♪ Strap on in and get ready to play ♪ 139 00:05:32,374 --> 00:05:33,792 - ♪ If it's a slasher they want ♪ 140 00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:35,836 ♪ Then girl, we're gonna slay ♪ 141 00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:37,087 - ♪ So stick to the script ♪ 142 00:05:37,087 --> 00:05:38,964 - ♪ Or it's straight to the crypt ♪ 143 00:05:38,964 --> 00:05:41,842 - ♪ It's gonna take some balls, and I'm fully-equipped ♪ 144 00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:44,887 BOTH: ♪ Zombies and chainsaws and hexes and witches ♪ 145 00:05:44,887 --> 00:05:47,890 ♪ Torture devices and blonde screaming bitches ♪ 146 00:05:47,890 --> 00:05:50,559 - ♪ Dolls that turned evil and bloodthirsty aliens ♪ 147 00:05:50,559 --> 00:05:53,812 - ♪ And maybe if we're lucky, a hot, murderous Australian ♪ 148 00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:55,856 - Oh, he can thunder my down under. 149 00:05:55,856 --> 00:06:00,027 ALL: ♪ This is a Huluween Dragstravaganza ♪ 150 00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:03,030 ♪ Huluween, lost in the land of ♪ 151 00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:06,074 ♪ Huluween Dragstravaganza ♪ 152 00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:09,328 ♪ Will we survive? Will we make it out alive? ♪ 153 00:06:09,328 --> 00:06:11,288 - All right, if we're gonna host this thing, 154 00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:14,499 we're gonna need all the help we can get. 155 00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:17,878 ♪ First an old friend, she's filthy and funny ♪ 156 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:20,797 - ♪ Brush off the dust, here comes Lady Bunny ♪ 157 00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:23,634 - ♪ Mean like a serpent and sweet like vanilla ♪ 158 00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:26,929 - ♪ Well, lick me and fold me and call me Manila ♪ 159 00:06:26,929 --> 00:06:29,515 - ♪ Straight from Long Island, Mo Heart's got the flow ♪ 160 00:06:29,515 --> 00:06:31,308 - ♪ Evil stands no chance here ♪ 161 00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:33,018 ♪ Now here's the merlot? ♪ 162 00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:35,896 - ♪ Double, double, Spanx and stubble ♪ 163 00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:38,690 - ♪ Jackie's arrived to beat off some trouble ♪ 164 00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:41,693 - ♪ Selene Luna is one dangerous queen ♪ 165 00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:44,613 - ♪ I'm raising the dead, if you know what I mean ♪ 166 00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:46,156 - ♪ This creature's a beauty ♪ 167 00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:47,699 ♪ She's fierce and she's cunning ♪ 168 00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:50,369 - ♪ It's Jujubee's jubilee, and everyone's coming ♪ 169 00:06:50,369 --> 00:06:53,539 - ♪ Landon Cider approaches, a deadly drag king ♪ 170 00:06:53,539 --> 00:06:55,290 - ♪ Call me Huluween Daddy ♪ 171 00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:57,000 ♪ That's got a nice ring ♪ 172 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,795 - ♪ Gay Uncle Mario is deep in your mind ♪ 173 00:06:59,795 --> 00:07:02,673 - ♪ I bite and I scratch and I stab from behind ♪ 174 00:07:02,673 --> 00:07:04,216 - ♪ I'm Ginger Minj ♪ 175 00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:05,926 - ♪ I'm Monét X Change ♪ 176 00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:08,011 BOTH: ♪ And we're gonna raise hell ♪ 177 00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:13,809 ♪ The Huluween way ♪ 178 00:07:13,809 --> 00:07:17,980 ALL: ♪ This is a Huluween Dragstravaganza ♪ 179 00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:20,983 ♪ Huluween, lost in the land of ♪ 180 00:07:20,983 --> 00:07:24,194 ♪ Huluween Dragstravaganza ♪ 181 00:07:24,194 --> 00:07:26,864 ♪ Will we survive, will we make it out a ♪ 182 00:07:26,864 --> 00:07:28,574 ♪ Make it out a ♪ 183 00:07:28,574 --> 00:07:30,701 ♪ Make it out alive? ♪ 184 00:07:33,412 --> 00:07:35,747 [wolf howls] [thunder rumbles] 185 00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:39,877 - oh, my God. [breathing heavily] 186 00:07:39,877 --> 00:07:42,754 Aww, thank you. 187 00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:45,215 - Well, now we know what this is all about. 188 00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:46,550 - We do? 189 00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:48,135 - Yeah, this whole thing is a tribute 190 00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:49,720 to all the creepy shows and scary movies 191 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:52,097 you can watch on Hulu during Huluween. 192 00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:53,599 - And Huluween is... 193 00:07:53,599 --> 00:07:55,976 - A celebration of Halloween on Hulu. 194 00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:57,686 Do we gotta do that whole opening number again? 195 00:07:57,686 --> 00:08:00,522 - No. No, please. No. I understand. 196 00:08:00,522 --> 00:08:02,816 This is all about Hulu, 197 00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:05,736 which means these must be the evil extensions 198 00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:07,696 from the Hulu original hit movie, 199 00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:08,947 Bad Hair. 200 00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:10,240 MONET: Unbe-weave-able. GINGER: Oh. 201 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,910 [gasps] And this pretty gold-plated box... 202 00:08:12,910 --> 00:08:14,620 - Be careful with that. 203 00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:16,914 This is the puzzle box from Hellraiser, 204 00:08:16,914 --> 00:08:19,458 the new original movie streaming this Huluween. 205 00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:21,001 - Oh. 206 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,669 What the hell are those? 207 00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:24,254 MONET: Like you don't know 208 00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:27,007 - Girl, I do not need padding back there. 209 00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:28,800 - Then they must be the ass cheeks from Fresh. 210 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,595 - Also streaming on Hulu. 211 00:08:31,595 --> 00:08:33,597 I'm sensing a theme. [chuckles] 212 00:08:33,597 --> 00:08:34,723 So what's next? 213 00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:36,433 - Oh, let's see. 214 00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:38,560 It says here, 215 00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:40,187 "It's time for our first commercial break." 216 00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:41,647 - Oh, thank God. 217 00:08:41,647 --> 00:08:43,065 I gotta pee. - Me too. 218 00:08:43,065 --> 00:08:44,733 - Come on. Let's go together. - Yeah. 219 00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:46,610 - Yeah. 220 00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:47,945 [static crackles] 221 00:08:47,945 --> 00:08:49,530 - Hey, boos. 222 00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:53,242 Are you all alone on Halloween? 223 00:08:53,242 --> 00:08:56,286 - Are you dying to have a good time? 224 00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:59,915 - Good time. [moans] 225 00:08:59,915 --> 00:09:03,293 - Call Ghoul Talk now and talk to live girls. 226 00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:06,630 - And some not-so-live girls. 227 00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:08,298 [sultry music] 228 00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:11,677 - Witches. Vampires. 229 00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:16,098 - Porcelain dolls possessed by the tormented souls 230 00:09:16,098 --> 00:09:21,228 of brutally murdered Victorian-era prostitutes. 231 00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:25,190 - I'm waiting to eat your face. 232 00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:28,944 - Are you all alone? Somewhere secluded? 233 00:09:28,944 --> 00:09:32,906 - It's okay. Give us your address. 234 00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:37,870 BUNNY: We've got every monster your filthy mind can imagine. 235 00:09:37,870 --> 00:09:40,414 Ghosts. Zombies. 236 00:09:40,414 --> 00:09:43,000 - Social media influencers? 237 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,918 - I know a lot of you have been asking 238 00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,461 about my skincare routine. 239 00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:47,963 [both hiss] 240 00:09:47,963 --> 00:09:51,008 - Don't waste your time in bed with a boring bag of bones. 241 00:09:51,008 --> 00:09:54,928 - We'll keep you up all night long. 242 00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:57,181 [screams] 243 00:09:57,181 --> 00:09:58,765 - Call now. 244 00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:01,351 We'll have a hell of a good time. 245 00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:05,230 [cackles maniacally] 246 00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:06,607 ANNOUNCER: Calls are $6.66 cents a minute. 247 00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:08,066 Interdimensional rates may apply. 248 00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:09,484 Ghoul Talk is not responsible for rotting flesh, 249 00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:11,111 uncontrollable vomiting, spontaneous combustion, 250 00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,487 or STDs such as ghost gonorrhea, 251 00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:13,614 Halloween herpes, or pumpkin spice pox. 252 00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:23,207 GINGER: This is cute. 253 00:10:23,207 --> 00:10:25,751 - Oh, honey, we're back. 254 00:10:25,751 --> 00:10:28,086 [both laugh] - I knew that. 255 00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:29,379 [glass shatters] [cat yowls] 256 00:10:29,379 --> 00:10:31,548 - What does Miss Book say is next? 257 00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:33,217 - [as Winnifred Sanderson] ♪ Book ♪ 258 00:10:33,217 --> 00:10:35,344 - Ooh. Mm. Mm-mm-mm. Mm-mm. 259 00:10:35,344 --> 00:10:36,845 GINGER: What? It worked for Bette Midler. 260 00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:38,514 - Yeah, a lot of things work for Bette Midler 261 00:10:38,514 --> 00:10:42,226 that clearly don't work for you. 262 00:10:42,226 --> 00:10:46,230 - It says, "This isn't rocket surgery. 263 00:10:46,230 --> 00:10:49,942 "Just do another short sketch followed by another song, 264 00:10:49,942 --> 00:10:51,652 you dumb bitch." 265 00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:53,111 - Did that book just read me? 266 00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:55,155 [thunderclap] 267 00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:57,241 JACKIE: Ugh, I can't believe I didn't have 268 00:10:57,241 --> 00:10:59,076 a single trick-or-treater. 269 00:10:59,076 --> 00:11:01,370 That's 13 years in a row. 270 00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:04,706 What am I gonna do with all this candy? 271 00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:07,709 [laughing] 272 00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:11,171 [phone shrieks] [screams] 273 00:11:13,799 --> 00:11:15,592 Hello? 274 00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:17,219 Hello? 275 00:11:17,219 --> 00:11:18,303 [scoffs] 276 00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:19,930 Look, if you're trying to scare me, 277 00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:21,390 it's not gonna work, all right? 278 00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:23,767 - [voice breathing heavily] 279 00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:27,729 - I know someone's on the line. I can hear you breathing. 280 00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:30,774 VOICE: Caw. Caw. 281 00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:32,109 - Dad? 282 00:11:32,109 --> 00:11:34,987 VOICE: What's your favorite scary movie? 283 00:11:34,987 --> 00:11:37,489 - I don't know, The Ten Commandments? 284 00:11:37,489 --> 00:11:40,242 - You're no fun, Jackie! It's me, Mo. 285 00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:41,743 - Oh, very funny, bitch. 286 00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:43,704 I knew it was you the whole time. 287 00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:46,790 I'd recognize that man voice anywhere, right? 288 00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:49,042 - Please tell me you're not home, 289 00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:52,337 all alone, again. 290 00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:55,382 - Well, you know that new guy I've been dating? 291 00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:58,427 Turns out that Halloween is his busiest night of the year. 292 00:11:58,427 --> 00:12:01,513 So yes, for your information, I am home, 293 00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:03,724 alone, again. 294 00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:05,893 I hope you're happy. 295 00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:08,770 - Oh, Jackie, that doesn't make me happy. 296 00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:10,689 This isn't a competition. 297 00:12:10,689 --> 00:12:12,441 But I win. 298 00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:15,110 Wait, is this that mysterious Eastern European gentleman 299 00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:16,486 you were telling me about? 300 00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:18,989 [thunder cracks] 301 00:12:18,989 --> 00:12:20,657 - Mm-hmm. 302 00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:21,742 - Girl, spill the tea! 303 00:12:21,742 --> 00:12:23,827 - Shut up. Your part's over. 304 00:12:23,827 --> 00:12:26,830 [soft piano music] 305 00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:30,167 ♪ ♪ 306 00:12:30,167 --> 00:12:31,668 No, Jackie. 307 00:12:33,545 --> 00:12:36,131 ♪ I met a guy ♪ 308 00:12:36,131 --> 00:12:38,926 ♪ In the twilight ♪ 309 00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:44,056 ♪ I must admit it was love at first bite ♪ 310 00:12:44,056 --> 00:12:49,102 ♪ He's got a widow's peak instead of bangs ♪ 311 00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:52,231 ♪ And a real long, long, long ♪ 312 00:12:52,231 --> 00:12:54,483 ♪ Set of fangs ♪ 313 00:12:54,483 --> 00:12:59,112 ♪ Almost nightly, he'll wine and dine me ♪ 314 00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:01,532 ♪ Can't see him in the mirror ♪ 315 00:13:01,532 --> 00:13:04,910 ♪ When he's right behind me ♪ 316 00:13:04,910 --> 00:13:09,665 ♪ Hates the sun, but he makes me feel young ♪ 317 00:13:09,665 --> 00:13:12,417 ♪ And when he's hanging upside down ♪ 318 00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:16,004 ♪ He's so well hung ♪ 319 00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:20,759 ♪ Oh, dating a vampire sucks ♪ 320 00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:24,054 ♪ He asked me, "Do you come here often?" ♪ 321 00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:27,057 ♪ Then we did it in his coffin ♪ 322 00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:31,603 ♪ Dating a vampire sucks ♪ 323 00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:33,981 ♪ Last time he bit me, he got stuck ♪ 324 00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:36,149 ♪ Don't judge me, I just wanna f-- ♪ 325 00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,819 - Find a cute restaurant or have a picnic in the park. 326 00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:40,946 I don't know, something nice. 327 00:13:40,946 --> 00:13:43,991 - ♪ Sat me down ♪ 328 00:13:43,991 --> 00:13:46,535 ♪ Said he must confess ♪ 329 00:13:46,535 --> 00:13:51,415 ♪ Told me he's been seeing other people's necks ♪ 330 00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:55,294 ♪ But I never get enough ♪ 331 00:13:55,294 --> 00:13:58,046 ♪ All my girlfriends think I'm nuts ♪ 332 00:13:58,046 --> 00:14:03,093 ♪ 'Cause dating a vampire "sucks" ♪ 333 00:14:03,093 --> 00:14:05,637 ♪ Pretty sure ♪ 334 00:14:05,637 --> 00:14:08,974 ♪ He's a vegan ♪ 335 00:14:08,974 --> 00:14:13,687 ♪ 'Cause my baby doesn't like steaks ♪ 336 00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:16,565 ♪ But he guzzles Bloody Marys ♪ 337 00:14:16,565 --> 00:14:19,359 ♪ He's so thirsty that it's scary ♪ 338 00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:23,488 ♪ And he sucks my juice just like I'm a grape ♪ 339 00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:25,574 - Listen, I'm not complaining. 340 00:14:25,574 --> 00:14:27,951 Why do you think I put up with this freak? 341 00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:32,956 JACKIE: ♪ When he whispers he loves me to death ♪ 342 00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:37,503 ♪ I always swoon because of his bad breath ♪ 343 00:14:37,503 --> 00:14:39,588 - [groans] 344 00:14:39,588 --> 00:14:43,759 - ♪ Dating a vampire sucks ♪ 345 00:14:43,759 --> 00:14:47,179 ♪ I've got one question, can I ask it? ♪ 346 00:14:47,179 --> 00:14:49,890 ♪ Should I move into his casket? ♪ 347 00:14:49,890 --> 00:14:54,728 ♪ Dating a vampire sucks ♪ 348 00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:57,856 ♪ Listen, I know what you're thinking ♪ 349 00:14:57,856 --> 00:15:00,943 ♪ "Bitch, he hung out with Abe Lincoln" ♪ 350 00:15:00,943 --> 00:15:02,945 - Too soon? 351 00:15:02,945 --> 00:15:08,033 - ♪ This relationship really bites ♪ 352 00:15:08,033 --> 00:15:12,579 ♪ Goes for the jugular when we get in fights ♪ 353 00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:14,581 - But I kinda like it rough. 354 00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,792 - ♪ No sweats or high top Chucks ♪ 355 00:15:16,792 --> 00:15:20,170 ♪ No, he's always in a tux, yeah ♪ 356 00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:24,216 ♪ Dating a vampire sucks ♪ 357 00:15:24,216 --> 00:15:28,637 ♪ Oh, sometimes you take the good with the bad ♪ 358 00:15:28,637 --> 00:15:31,306 ♪ He's a pain in the neck ♪ 359 00:15:31,306 --> 00:15:33,475 ♪ But he's still the best I've ever had ♪ 360 00:15:34,893 --> 00:15:39,481 [groans] ♪ Dating a vampire sucks ♪ 361 00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:41,358 - Now I have to wear a turtleneck 24/7. 362 00:15:41,358 --> 00:15:44,444 - ♪ Dating a vampire sucks ♪ 363 00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,363 - Who has Italian food with no garlic? 364 00:15:46,363 --> 00:15:49,533 - ♪ Dating a vampire sucks ♪ 365 00:15:49,533 --> 00:15:51,785 - Good luck finding SPF 1,500. 366 00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:58,542 - ♪ Dating a vampire sucks ♪ 367 00:15:59,418 --> 00:16:01,587 - What? 368 00:16:01,587 --> 00:16:03,839 - That was...dreadful. 369 00:16:03,839 --> 00:16:05,966 - Oh, I thought it was beautiful. 370 00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:07,843 - You also think pineapple belongs on pizza. 371 00:16:07,843 --> 00:16:09,303 - Well, how else am I supposed to get 372 00:16:09,303 --> 00:16:11,430 my daily serving of fruit? 373 00:16:11,430 --> 00:16:12,931 Why are you on your phone? 374 00:16:12,931 --> 00:16:14,433 - I'm creating a social media post. 375 00:16:14,433 --> 00:16:15,559 - Now? 376 00:16:15,559 --> 00:16:16,977 You think now is the best time to do that? 377 00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:19,438 - Uh, I'm pretty sure being sucked into a magical TV 378 00:16:19,438 --> 00:16:22,274 and being transported to wherever the hell this is 379 00:16:22,274 --> 00:16:23,692 is beyond post-worthy. 380 00:16:23,692 --> 00:16:25,611 And besides, it's so easy 381 00:16:25,611 --> 00:16:28,447 to create stunning posts and more using Canva, 382 00:16:28,447 --> 00:16:31,408 amazing tools right at your fingertips. 383 00:16:31,408 --> 00:16:33,827 [bell dings] 384 00:16:33,827 --> 00:16:36,788 - Did you just do a product placement? 385 00:16:36,788 --> 00:16:38,916 - This would not be a drag variety show 386 00:16:38,916 --> 00:16:40,959 without at least one product integration. 387 00:16:40,959 --> 00:16:42,503 - Huh. 388 00:16:42,503 --> 00:16:44,463 Ooh! [gasps] Look what I found. 389 00:16:44,463 --> 00:16:47,090 [choir sings] It's an old TV remote. 390 00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:48,717 - Don't... - I wonder if it still works. 391 00:16:48,717 --> 00:16:50,093 - Touch it! [static crackles] 392 00:16:50,093 --> 00:16:53,639 - Good morning, everyone, and welcome to ZNN, 393 00:16:53,639 --> 00:16:55,933 the Zombie News Network, 394 00:16:55,933 --> 00:16:59,603 your live coverage of everything dead. 395 00:16:59,603 --> 00:17:01,230 I'm Fluffy McDaniels, 396 00:17:01,230 --> 00:17:04,525 and here are today's top stories. 397 00:17:04,525 --> 00:17:08,153 First, let's join reporter Jorge Romero 398 00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:10,948 at the annual zombie pride celebration 399 00:17:10,948 --> 00:17:12,533 being held downtown. 400 00:17:12,533 --> 00:17:13,867 Jorge? 401 00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:18,288 - [moaning] 402 00:17:19,581 --> 00:17:22,584 - [moaning] 403 00:17:24,127 --> 00:17:27,130 [both moaning] 404 00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:32,719 - Back to you in the studio, Fluffy. 405 00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:34,096 - Huh? 406 00:17:34,096 --> 00:17:35,305 - Thanks, Jorge. 407 00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:37,015 Looks like everyone's having so much fun. 408 00:17:37,015 --> 00:17:40,435 I'd give my right arm to be there with you. 409 00:17:40,435 --> 00:17:43,397 And now, let's take a look at today's weather 410 00:17:43,397 --> 00:17:46,275 with meteorologist Sue Nawmi. 411 00:17:46,275 --> 00:17:48,318 - Thanks, Fluffy. 412 00:17:48,318 --> 00:17:51,029 Today's weather report is brought to you 413 00:17:51,029 --> 00:17:54,575 by brains, delicious, juicy brains. 414 00:17:54,575 --> 00:17:59,454 In an omelet, a burrito, or even fresh out of the skull. 415 00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:00,789 Make the smart choice 416 00:18:00,789 --> 00:18:04,126 and give in to your brain cravings today. 417 00:18:04,126 --> 00:18:05,919 - Mm, sounds yummy, Sue. 418 00:18:05,919 --> 00:18:07,129 What's it like out there? 419 00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:09,631 - Once again, another scorcher, Fluffy, 420 00:18:09,631 --> 00:18:13,260 with a high of 101 degrees. 421 00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:15,971 If you're outside, I'm sure you can smell 422 00:18:15,971 --> 00:18:18,140 the unbearable stench 423 00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:21,393 of melting human corpses in the streets. 424 00:18:21,393 --> 00:18:24,313 While that may be repulsive to some, 425 00:18:24,313 --> 00:18:27,065 I'm sure others are making the most of it 426 00:18:27,065 --> 00:18:29,902 and turning it into a barbecue. 427 00:18:29,902 --> 00:18:32,654 Oh, looks like another one got in. 428 00:18:32,654 --> 00:18:34,281 Back to you, Fluffy. 429 00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:36,241 - Thanks, Sue. 430 00:18:36,241 --> 00:18:39,703 Uh, well, uh, looks like we're gonna wrap early today. 431 00:18:39,703 --> 00:18:41,580 Thanks so much for watching. 432 00:18:41,580 --> 00:18:44,124 I'm Fluffy McDaniels, reminding you all 433 00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:45,959 that zombies eat brains. 434 00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:49,546 So don't read, don't be informed, 435 00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:50,923 and stay stupid. 436 00:18:50,923 --> 00:18:53,175 Have a great day. 437 00:18:53,175 --> 00:18:55,385 [zombie moaning] 438 00:18:55,385 --> 00:18:58,180 Taylor, we lost another camera op. 439 00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:06,021 - Wow, that last thing was a real think piece. 440 00:19:06,021 --> 00:19:09,191 - Yeah, I think I need a piece of that Fluffy McDaniels. 441 00:19:09,191 --> 00:19:11,360 Okay. - Monét, stop. 442 00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:13,445 You're giving me a boner. 443 00:19:13,445 --> 00:19:14,655 - You've gone too far. 444 00:19:14,655 --> 00:19:17,074 - What? No, don't change that channel-- 445 00:19:17,074 --> 00:19:19,952 - Welcome back to the big, gruesome finale 446 00:19:19,952 --> 00:19:22,829 of The Next American Slasher. 447 00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:25,457 I'm your host, Twink Martindale. 448 00:19:25,457 --> 00:19:28,961 All right. It has all come down to this. 449 00:19:28,961 --> 00:19:31,505 Our top three madams of mayhem 450 00:19:31,505 --> 00:19:33,465 will be competing to be crowned 451 00:19:33,465 --> 00:19:36,885 this season's Next American Slasher. 452 00:19:36,885 --> 00:19:39,888 America, this is your last chance 453 00:19:39,888 --> 00:19:43,892 to cast your votes online and set the winner free 454 00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:46,603 back into society, because why not? 455 00:19:46,603 --> 00:19:49,773 This world is terrifying. [laughs] 456 00:19:49,773 --> 00:19:51,567 But before we do that, 457 00:19:51,567 --> 00:19:55,654 let's take one last look back at our contestants' journey. 458 00:19:55,654 --> 00:19:57,781 - I'm Ivana Killyoo. 459 00:19:57,781 --> 00:20:00,617 I'm...23. 460 00:20:00,617 --> 00:20:03,704 I know I have what it takes to be the Next American Slasher 461 00:20:03,704 --> 00:20:06,957 because--well, how do I put this politely? 462 00:20:06,957 --> 00:20:09,751 I'm batshit insane! 463 00:20:09,751 --> 00:20:11,879 [cackles] 464 00:20:11,879 --> 00:20:13,589 I didn't come here to make friends. 465 00:20:13,589 --> 00:20:15,340 I came here to bury them. 466 00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:16,842 [cackling] 467 00:20:16,842 --> 00:20:19,678 - I'm Sybil Pleatherface. 468 00:20:19,678 --> 00:20:22,222 I'm also 23. 469 00:20:22,222 --> 00:20:25,142 And what I've learned most during this competition 470 00:20:25,142 --> 00:20:28,729 is that human skin is really hard to sew. 471 00:20:28,729 --> 00:20:31,857 [screaming] Fashion is my life, 472 00:20:31,857 --> 00:20:33,984 and I look up to the greats before me. 473 00:20:33,984 --> 00:20:37,279 Uh, Yves Saint Laurent. Coco Chanel. 474 00:20:37,279 --> 00:20:39,615 Ed Gein. 475 00:20:39,615 --> 00:20:41,283 Google it, darlings. 476 00:20:42,951 --> 00:20:44,912 - Hi, honey. My name is Cannabelle, 477 00:20:44,912 --> 00:20:47,664 and I too am 23. 478 00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:50,834 Now, I came to eat up the competition, literally. 479 00:20:50,834 --> 00:20:53,670 Some people say revenge is a dish best served cold, 480 00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:55,380 but I prefer to put it in the oven 481 00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:58,300 at 425 for 30 minutes. 482 00:20:58,300 --> 00:21:00,093 [oven dings] [screaming] 483 00:21:00,093 --> 00:21:02,429 - Well, ladies, this is it. 484 00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:06,308 Your final performance and final opportunity 485 00:21:06,308 --> 00:21:08,810 to win votes from our viewing audience. 486 00:21:08,810 --> 00:21:11,438 Let's hear it for our final contestants 487 00:21:11,438 --> 00:21:14,983 in The Next American Slasher. 488 00:21:15,859 --> 00:21:18,862 [upbeat, spooky dance music] 489 00:21:18,862 --> 00:21:23,825 ♪ ♪ 490 00:21:23,825 --> 00:21:27,246 [screaming] 491 00:21:29,623 --> 00:21:32,125 [cackling] 492 00:21:32,125 --> 00:21:34,545 - ♪ I was a hand model, the best of the best ♪ 493 00:21:34,545 --> 00:21:36,630 ♪ Every day, they were cutting those checks ♪ 494 00:21:36,630 --> 00:21:38,757 ♪ I was on top, a big spender ♪ 495 00:21:38,757 --> 00:21:40,592 ♪ Till my wig got caught in a blender ♪ 496 00:21:40,592 --> 00:21:42,970 ♪ I panicked, I tried to get it out ♪ 497 00:21:42,970 --> 00:21:45,138 ♪ But my hand got stuck and never came out ♪ 498 00:21:45,138 --> 00:21:47,140 ♪ Now I innovate, got a hook for a hand ♪ 499 00:21:47,140 --> 00:21:49,518 ♪ And I made my ugly feet my brand ♪ 500 00:21:49,518 --> 00:21:51,520 ♪ I hook 'em with my looks ♪ 501 00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:53,397 ♪ Then I hook 'em with my hook ♪ 502 00:21:53,397 --> 00:21:55,399 ♪ I drain the blood and the bank accounts ♪ 503 00:21:55,399 --> 00:21:57,109 ♪ Keep the millionaires shook ♪ 504 00:21:57,109 --> 00:21:58,485 ♪ Are you ready? ♪ 505 00:21:58,485 --> 00:22:02,573 ALL: ♪ I'm the Next American Slasher ♪ 506 00:22:02,573 --> 00:22:06,702 ♪ Watch your back 'cause your blood's what I'm after ♪ 507 00:22:06,702 --> 00:22:10,080 ♪ Here, kitty cat, you might be fast, but I'm faster ♪ 508 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:13,458 ♪ Singing ayo, ayo, ayo ♪ 509 00:22:13,458 --> 00:22:14,835 ♪ I'm gonna hunt you down ♪ 510 00:22:14,835 --> 00:22:17,629 ♪ Ayo, ayo, ayo ♪ 511 00:22:17,629 --> 00:22:20,340 ♪ I'm gonna hunt you down ♪ 512 00:22:20,340 --> 00:22:22,759 ♪ Meow ♪ 513 00:22:22,759 --> 00:22:25,053 - ♪ Used to work at the mall from 9:00 to 5:00 ♪ 514 00:22:25,053 --> 00:22:27,514 ♪ At Stuff-a-Plushie Workshop, plush for life ♪ 515 00:22:27,514 --> 00:22:29,349 ♪ Loved my job till a Karen complained ♪ 516 00:22:29,349 --> 00:22:31,768 ♪ It's not my fault that I went insane ♪ 517 00:22:31,768 --> 00:22:33,687 ♪ Poor little Timmy's without his mama ♪ 518 00:22:33,687 --> 00:22:35,689 ♪ But he's better off without her drama ♪ 519 00:22:35,689 --> 00:22:37,774 ♪ I scooped out her blood and her guts and her bones ♪ 520 00:22:37,774 --> 00:22:40,027 ♪ Stuffed her with cotton, sewed her mouth closed ♪ 521 00:22:40,027 --> 00:22:41,820 ♪ I got my own start-up, I work from home ♪ 522 00:22:41,820 --> 00:22:44,072 ♪ Sewing up Karen, selling her clothes ♪ 523 00:22:44,072 --> 00:22:46,366 ♪ It's not a lot, but it's an honest life ♪ 524 00:22:46,366 --> 00:22:49,161 ♪ And now I know my way around a knife ♪ 525 00:22:49,161 --> 00:22:52,956 ALL: ♪ I'm the Next American Slasher ♪ 526 00:22:52,956 --> 00:22:56,960 ♪ Watch your back 'cause your blood's what I'm after ♪ 527 00:22:56,960 --> 00:23:00,589 ♪ Here, kitty cat, you might be fast, but I'm faster ♪ 528 00:23:00,589 --> 00:23:03,759 ♪ Singing ayo, ayo, ayo ♪ 529 00:23:03,759 --> 00:23:05,177 ♪ I'm gonna hunt you down ♪ 530 00:23:05,177 --> 00:23:08,222 ♪ Ayo, ayo, ayo ♪ 531 00:23:08,222 --> 00:23:11,016 ♪ I'm gonna hunt you down ♪ 532 00:23:11,016 --> 00:23:13,685 ♪ Meow ♪ 533 00:23:13,685 --> 00:23:15,562 OPERATOR: 911, what's your emergency? 534 00:23:15,562 --> 00:23:17,689 - ♪ My best friend said we'd be friends for life ♪ 535 00:23:17,689 --> 00:23:19,775 ♪ Till she took my man, so she had to die ♪ 536 00:23:19,775 --> 00:23:21,652 ♪ I chopped her up and took a bite ♪ 537 00:23:21,652 --> 00:23:24,363 ♪ Yeah, the bitch was damn good over rice ♪ 538 00:23:24,363 --> 00:23:26,198 ♪ Dead is dead and facts is facts ♪ 539 00:23:26,198 --> 00:23:28,242 ♪ I'ma eat your mom, I'ma eat your dad ♪ 540 00:23:28,242 --> 00:23:30,327 ♪ I'ma make you watch and eat you last ♪ 541 00:23:30,327 --> 00:23:32,704 ♪ 'Cause, honey, I'm a cannibal like that ♪ 542 00:23:32,704 --> 00:23:34,915 ♪ Painted for the cell block, painted for the walk off ♪ 543 00:23:34,915 --> 00:23:37,209 ♪ Painted for the murders till I can't talk, talk ♪ 544 00:23:37,209 --> 00:23:38,710 ♪ Killer looks, killer hooks ♪ 545 00:23:38,710 --> 00:23:39,795 ♪ Nails studded and sharp ♪ 546 00:23:39,795 --> 00:23:41,171 ♪ Leave 'em dead, leave 'em cold ♪ 547 00:23:41,171 --> 00:23:43,006 ♪ Murder weapons in the front, in the back ♪ 548 00:23:43,006 --> 00:23:45,300 ♪ Got my fork, got my knife, I'ma eat you alive ♪ 549 00:23:45,300 --> 00:23:47,135 ♪ Can't let good meat go to waste ♪ 550 00:23:47,135 --> 00:23:49,763 ♪ Got that cannibal life, got that cannibal taste ♪ 551 00:23:49,763 --> 00:23:54,226 ♪ Taste, taste, taste, taste, taste, taste, taste, taste ♪ 552 00:23:54,226 --> 00:23:58,397 ALL: ♪ I'm the Next American Slasher ♪ 553 00:23:58,397 --> 00:24:02,192 ♪ Watch your back 'cause your blood's what I'm after ♪ 554 00:24:02,192 --> 00:24:05,904 ♪ Here, kitty cat, you might be fast, but I'm faster ♪ 555 00:24:05,904 --> 00:24:09,157 ♪ Singing ayo, ayo, ayo ♪ 556 00:24:09,157 --> 00:24:10,576 ♪ I'm gonna hunt you down ♪ 557 00:24:10,576 --> 00:24:13,495 ♪ Ayo, ayo, ayo ♪ 558 00:24:13,495 --> 00:24:16,206 ♪ I'm gonna hunt you down ♪ 559 00:24:16,206 --> 00:24:17,875 ♪ Meow ♪ 560 00:24:19,877 --> 00:24:22,045 - That was disturbing yet fun. 561 00:24:22,045 --> 00:24:24,673 - Yeah, kind of like my last colonoscopy. 562 00:24:24,673 --> 00:24:26,717 - Speaking of anal probing, 563 00:24:26,717 --> 00:24:28,927 we've seen all sorts of scary things today. 564 00:24:28,927 --> 00:24:32,598 Vampires, zombies, Lady Bunny changing outfits. 565 00:24:32,598 --> 00:24:34,057 [shudders] 566 00:24:34,057 --> 00:24:37,144 But we haven't seen any creatures from outer space. 567 00:24:37,144 --> 00:24:41,690 - What, aliens? Girl, aliens are not real. 568 00:24:41,690 --> 00:24:44,109 Although Jackie Beat might be from another planet. 569 00:24:44,109 --> 00:24:46,111 - They say the truth is out there. 570 00:24:46,111 --> 00:24:47,571 - Out where? 571 00:24:47,571 --> 00:24:49,948 I think I lost my truth in the back of a pickup truck. 572 00:24:49,948 --> 00:24:51,241 - When it comes to this topic, 573 00:24:51,241 --> 00:24:53,619 I think you and I are just polar opposites. 574 00:24:53,619 --> 00:24:55,954 - Or are we more like... 575 00:24:55,954 --> 00:24:59,458 BOTH: Solar Opposites? 576 00:24:59,458 --> 00:25:01,668 - Something about today feels special. 577 00:25:01,668 --> 00:25:02,711 - Hell yeah. 578 00:25:02,711 --> 00:25:04,254 This is gonna be scary as shit, yo. 579 00:25:04,254 --> 00:25:05,923 - [screaming] 580 00:25:07,090 --> 00:25:08,425 I'll always hate this spooky-ass month. 581 00:25:08,425 --> 00:25:09,927 Especially Halloween. 582 00:25:09,927 --> 00:25:11,720 It's too haunting and spine-tingling. 583 00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:13,597 - Too late. We've already committed. 584 00:25:13,597 --> 00:25:15,432 - [screams] 585 00:25:15,432 --> 00:25:17,351 JESSE: We dug up a body from a graveyard 586 00:25:17,351 --> 00:25:20,103 and used dark sci-fi magic to bring it to life. 587 00:25:20,103 --> 00:25:22,272 - [giggles] 588 00:25:22,272 --> 00:25:23,899 - [cackles] - [screams] 589 00:25:26,068 --> 00:25:27,277 - Oh, shit! 590 00:25:27,277 --> 00:25:29,488 YUMYULACK: This is awesome! 591 00:25:29,488 --> 00:25:31,448 KORVO: What is this, some sort of Halloween trick? 592 00:25:31,448 --> 00:25:32,449 - I'm freaking out, man. 593 00:25:32,449 --> 00:25:33,450 - [screaming] 594 00:25:33,450 --> 00:25:35,202 [creatures shrieking] 595 00:25:35,202 --> 00:25:36,828 - Your misery will be orchestrated 596 00:25:36,828 --> 00:25:38,747 by the Dark Lord himself. 597 00:25:38,747 --> 00:25:40,749 - [growling] 598 00:25:40,749 --> 00:25:43,168 - Thanks for the update. Is there Wi-Fi here? 599 00:25:43,168 --> 00:25:44,503 KORVO: Did you put up 10,000 flyers 600 00:25:44,503 --> 00:25:45,838 promising money and free blow jobs 601 00:25:45,838 --> 00:25:47,047 to anyone who brought us a corpse? 602 00:25:47,047 --> 00:25:48,423 - Yes. 603 00:25:48,423 --> 00:25:50,509 - Well, you better break out the Chap Stick, Terry. 604 00:25:50,509 --> 00:25:52,427 It's gonna be a long night. 605 00:25:54,179 --> 00:25:55,472 GHOUL: Some-bloody once told me 606 00:25:55,472 --> 00:25:57,224 I ain't the sharpest ghoul in the dead. 607 00:25:57,224 --> 00:25:59,268 - [screams] Wait, was that Smash Mouth? 608 00:26:02,187 --> 00:26:04,648 - See, those aliens aren't scary. 609 00:26:04,648 --> 00:26:06,859 - But they are highly entertaining. 610 00:26:06,859 --> 00:26:08,318 - So what's next? 611 00:26:08,318 --> 00:26:11,446 - It says here it's time for a musical guest, 612 00:26:11,446 --> 00:26:13,323 but there's a cryptic message. 613 00:26:13,323 --> 00:26:16,743 Keep Everything Super Huluween Always. 614 00:26:16,743 --> 00:26:18,537 - The hell does that mean? 615 00:26:18,537 --> 00:26:20,956 - It's obviously some sort of puzzle or code. 616 00:26:20,956 --> 00:26:23,375 - Oh, I figured it out. 617 00:26:23,375 --> 00:26:27,379 Our special musical guest is clearly Liza Minelli... 618 00:26:27,379 --> 00:26:30,007 's mom, Bethany? 619 00:26:30,007 --> 00:26:31,842 - Please forgive her. 620 00:26:31,842 --> 00:26:33,552 Theydies and gentlethems... 621 00:26:33,552 --> 00:26:35,554 BOTH: Kesha! 622 00:26:35,554 --> 00:26:36,889 [wolf howling] 623 00:26:36,889 --> 00:26:41,977 - ♪ I am cannibal ♪ 624 00:26:41,977 --> 00:26:44,188 [thunder rumbling] 625 00:26:44,188 --> 00:26:49,443 ♪ I am cannibal ♪ 626 00:26:49,443 --> 00:26:52,446 [Kesha's "Cannibal"] 627 00:26:52,446 --> 00:26:55,449 [growling, howling] 628 00:26:55,449 --> 00:27:02,456 ♪ ♪ 629 00:27:06,001 --> 00:27:08,003 ♪ I have a heart, I swear I do ♪ 630 00:27:08,003 --> 00:27:09,838 ♪ But just not, baby, when it comes to you ♪ 631 00:27:09,838 --> 00:27:11,882 ♪ I get so hungry when you say you love me ♪ 632 00:27:11,882 --> 00:27:13,717 ♪ Hush, if you can know what's good for you ♪ 633 00:27:13,717 --> 00:27:15,511 ♪ I think you're hot, I think you're cool ♪ 634 00:27:15,511 --> 00:27:17,221 ♪ You're the kind of guy I'd stalk in school ♪ 635 00:27:17,221 --> 00:27:19,431 ♪ But now that I'm famous, you're up my anus ♪ 636 00:27:19,431 --> 00:27:21,141 ♪ Now, boy, I'm gonna eat you, fool ♪ 637 00:27:21,141 --> 00:27:24,520 ♪ I eat boys up, breakfast and lunch ♪ 638 00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:28,357 ♪ Then when I'm thirsty, I drink their blood ♪ 639 00:27:28,357 --> 00:27:32,027 ♪ Carnivore, animal, I am a cannibal ♪ 640 00:27:32,027 --> 00:27:35,822 ♪ I eat boys up, you better run ♪ 641 00:27:35,822 --> 00:27:42,162 ♪ I am cannibal ♪ 642 00:27:42,162 --> 00:27:43,247 ♪ I am 643 00:27:43,247 --> 00:27:48,544 ♪ I am cannibal ♪ 644 00:27:48,544 --> 00:27:49,753 ♪ I'll eat you up ♪ 645 00:27:49,753 --> 00:27:50,963 ♪ I am ♪ 646 00:27:50,963 --> 00:27:56,927 ♪ I am cannibal ♪ 647 00:27:56,927 --> 00:27:57,970 ♪ I am ♪ 648 00:27:57,970 --> 00:28:03,433 ♪ I am cannibal ♪ 649 00:28:03,433 --> 00:28:05,477 ♪ I'll eat you up ♪ 650 00:28:05,477 --> 00:28:07,145 ♪ Whenever you tell me I'm pretty ♪ 651 00:28:07,145 --> 00:28:08,897 ♪ That's when the hunger really hits me ♪ 652 00:28:08,897 --> 00:28:10,899 ♪ Your little heart goes pitter-patter ♪ 653 00:28:10,899 --> 00:28:12,860 ♪ I'll put your liver on a platter ♪ 654 00:28:12,860 --> 00:28:14,486 ♪ Use your finger to stir my tea ♪ 655 00:28:14,486 --> 00:28:16,530 ♪ And for dessert, I'll suck your teeth ♪ 656 00:28:16,530 --> 00:28:18,490 ♪ Be too sweet and you'll be a goner ♪ 657 00:28:18,490 --> 00:28:19,992 ♪ Yeah ♪ 658 00:28:19,992 --> 00:28:23,787 ♪ I eat boys up, breakfast and lunch ♪ 659 00:28:23,787 --> 00:28:27,541 ♪ Then when I'm thirsty, I drink their blood ♪ 660 00:28:27,541 --> 00:28:31,128 ♪ Carnivore, animal, I am a cannibal ♪ 661 00:28:31,128 --> 00:28:34,965 ♪ I eat boys up, you better run ♪ 662 00:28:34,965 --> 00:28:41,221 ♪ I am cannibal ♪ 663 00:28:41,221 --> 00:28:42,347 ♪ I am 664 00:28:42,347 --> 00:28:47,895 ♪ I am cannibal ♪ 665 00:28:47,895 --> 00:28:48,896 ♪ I'll eat you up ♪ 666 00:28:48,896 --> 00:28:49,897 ♪ I am ♪ 667 00:28:49,897 --> 00:28:56,069 ♪ I am cannibal ♪ 668 00:28:56,069 --> 00:28:57,154 ♪ I am ♪ 669 00:28:57,154 --> 00:29:02,534 ♪ I am cannibal ♪ 670 00:29:02,534 --> 00:29:04,328 ♪ I'll eat you up ♪ 671 00:29:04,328 --> 00:29:07,331 [howling] 672 00:29:07,331 --> 00:29:14,087 ♪ ♪ 673 00:29:22,471 --> 00:29:25,474 [thunder rumbling] 674 00:29:25,474 --> 00:29:32,481 ♪ ♪ 675 00:29:33,732 --> 00:29:37,569 ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa-oh ♪ 676 00:29:37,569 --> 00:29:41,365 ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa-oh ♪ 677 00:29:41,365 --> 00:29:44,910 ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa-oh ♪ 678 00:29:44,910 --> 00:29:48,747 ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa-oh ♪ 679 00:29:48,747 --> 00:29:55,128 ♪ I am cannibal ♪ 680 00:29:55,128 --> 00:29:56,171 ♪ I am 681 00:29:56,171 --> 00:30:01,593 ♪ I am cannibal ♪ 682 00:30:01,593 --> 00:30:02,678 ♪ I'll eat you up ♪ 683 00:30:02,678 --> 00:30:03,679 ♪ I am ♪ 684 00:30:03,679 --> 00:30:09,852 ♪ I am cannibal ♪ 685 00:30:09,852 --> 00:30:10,936 ♪ I am ♪ 686 00:30:10,936 --> 00:30:16,149 ♪ I am cannibal ♪ 687 00:30:16,149 --> 00:30:18,193 ♪ I'll eat you up ♪ 688 00:30:18,193 --> 00:30:25,200 ♪ ♪ 689 00:30:40,299 --> 00:30:41,967 - Well, according to the interwebs, 690 00:30:41,967 --> 00:30:44,386 people are really falling into the Huluween spirit. 691 00:30:44,386 --> 00:30:46,263 They're loving the show. - I know. 692 00:30:46,263 --> 00:30:48,348 Look at some of these comments. 693 00:30:48,348 --> 00:30:51,476 "Hilarious Huluween hijinks." - Yas! 694 00:30:51,476 --> 00:30:53,770 - "Living for the musical numbers." 695 00:30:53,770 --> 00:30:55,230 - Word. 696 00:30:55,230 --> 00:30:57,983 - "Everyone looks so stunning." - Stunning! 697 00:30:57,983 --> 00:30:59,776 - "Especially Ginger Minj. 698 00:30:59,776 --> 00:31:00,903 "She's the funniest. 699 00:31:00,903 --> 00:31:03,405 Oh, and the prettiest." 700 00:31:03,405 --> 00:31:04,698 - Girl, you posted that. 701 00:31:04,698 --> 00:31:06,033 - Yeah, prove it, bitch. 702 00:31:06,033 --> 00:31:07,951 - "Fierce." "She's living." 703 00:31:07,951 --> 00:31:09,244 "She dead." 704 00:31:09,244 --> 00:31:10,621 "Boots the house down." 705 00:31:10,621 --> 00:31:12,831 "Work, mama," blah, blah, blah-- 706 00:31:12,831 --> 00:31:13,832 uh-oh. 707 00:31:13,832 --> 00:31:15,083 - Uh-oh? 708 00:31:15,083 --> 00:31:16,502 What "uh-uh"? 709 00:31:16,502 --> 00:31:19,546 - "So I'm watching werewolves and vampires and zombies, 710 00:31:19,546 --> 00:31:23,467 "like, prance across my screen, but as per usual, 711 00:31:23,467 --> 00:31:25,802 mummies have been left out of the festivities." 712 00:31:25,802 --> 00:31:28,222 - OMG, they're right. - Yeah. 713 00:31:28,222 --> 00:31:30,140 - Well, you know what we have to do now. 714 00:31:30,140 --> 00:31:32,100 - Give 'em a showstopping number featuring mummies? 715 00:31:32,100 --> 00:31:34,728 - Heck yes, we do. - Mm-hmm. 716 00:31:34,728 --> 00:31:37,397 - But on such short notice, where are we gonna find 717 00:31:37,397 --> 00:31:40,192 two ancient creatures all wrapped up in themselves? 718 00:31:40,192 --> 00:31:41,693 [gasps] 719 00:31:41,693 --> 00:31:43,862 BOTH: Bunny and Jackie. 720 00:31:43,862 --> 00:31:46,865 [doors creak] 721 00:31:46,865 --> 00:31:49,743 [upbeat music] 722 00:31:49,743 --> 00:31:53,330 ♪ You can tell by our style, been around quite a while ♪ 723 00:31:53,330 --> 00:31:56,416 ♪ King Tut was the first guy to hire us ♪ 724 00:31:56,416 --> 00:31:59,586 ♪ Just your dusty old hacks, we are both artifacts ♪ 725 00:31:59,586 --> 00:32:03,006 ♪ Girl, I sent my first nude on papyrus ♪ 726 00:32:03,006 --> 00:32:06,301 - ♪ We know all of the tricks, wrote them in hieroglyphs ♪ 727 00:32:06,301 --> 00:32:09,721 ♪ I invented that, so don't make me sue ya ♪ 728 00:32:09,721 --> 00:32:12,975 ♪ Maybe older than dirt with cobwebs under our skirt ♪ 729 00:32:12,975 --> 00:32:16,937 BOTH: ♪ In any century, you know we'll outdo ya ♪ 730 00:32:16,937 --> 00:32:20,190 ♪ Everybody loves their mummy ♪ 731 00:32:20,190 --> 00:32:23,527 ♪ You know Mama knows best ♪ 732 00:32:23,527 --> 00:32:26,446 ♪ Better say you love your mummy ♪ 733 00:32:26,446 --> 00:32:29,783 ♪ 'Cause you can't kill what's dead ♪ 734 00:32:29,783 --> 00:32:31,577 ♪ Who's your mummy? Who's your mummy? ♪ 735 00:32:31,577 --> 00:32:33,537 ♪ Screw your daddy, who's your mummy? ♪ 736 00:32:33,537 --> 00:32:35,372 - ♪ Say I'm your mummy ♪ 737 00:32:35,372 --> 00:32:36,957 - ♪ No, I'm your mummy ♪ 738 00:32:36,957 --> 00:32:38,542 - Screw you, Bunny. 739 00:32:38,542 --> 00:32:40,752 - No thanks, honey. 740 00:32:40,752 --> 00:32:42,379 ♪ We've been best friend, you see ♪ 741 00:32:42,379 --> 00:32:44,047 ♪ Since, like, 30 B. C. ♪ 742 00:32:44,047 --> 00:32:47,092 ♪ Except briefly when that guy came between us ♪ 743 00:32:47,092 --> 00:32:49,219 ♪ Now our golden rule goes ♪ 744 00:32:49,219 --> 00:32:50,762 ♪ Simply hos before bros ♪ 745 00:32:50,762 --> 00:32:54,099 ♪ Or in other words, pals before penis ♪ 746 00:32:54,099 --> 00:32:55,809 - ♪ What you may not know is ♪ 747 00:32:55,809 --> 00:32:57,311 ♪ I almost gave up showbiz ♪ 748 00:32:57,311 --> 00:33:00,397 ♪ For that same con man's real estate dream ♪ 749 00:33:00,397 --> 00:33:02,232 ♪ But he was stealing from me ♪ 750 00:33:02,232 --> 00:33:04,359 ♪ 'Cause it turned out to be ♪ 751 00:33:04,359 --> 00:33:06,862 BOTH: ♪ The very first pyramid scheme ♪ 752 00:33:06,862 --> 00:33:08,530 [rimshot] 753 00:33:08,530 --> 00:33:11,366 ♪ Everybody loves their mummy ♪ 754 00:33:11,366 --> 00:33:14,870 ♪ You know Mama knows best ♪ 755 00:33:14,870 --> 00:33:17,915 ♪ You better say you love your mummy ♪ 756 00:33:17,915 --> 00:33:21,543 ♪ 'Cause you can't kill what's dead ♪ 757 00:33:21,543 --> 00:33:22,836 ♪ Who's your mummy? Who's your mummy? ♪ 758 00:33:22,836 --> 00:33:25,088 ♪ Screw your daddy, who's your mummy? ♪ 759 00:33:25,088 --> 00:33:26,632 - ♪ Say I'm your mummy ♪ 760 00:33:26,632 --> 00:33:27,925 - ♪ No, I'm your mummy ♪ 761 00:33:27,925 --> 00:33:29,635 BOTH: ♪ Who's your mummy? Who's your mummy? ♪ 762 00:33:29,635 --> 00:33:31,428 ♪ I'm your mummy, I'm your mummy ♪ 763 00:33:31,428 --> 00:33:32,846 ♪ You claim to be my mummy ♪ 764 00:33:32,846 --> 00:33:35,432 ♪ But you look more like my daddy ♪ 765 00:33:35,432 --> 00:33:37,476 - We're just a couple of old farts. 766 00:33:37,476 --> 00:33:41,104 [both mimic flatulence] - See, we even Tut-in-common. 767 00:33:41,104 --> 00:33:43,065 - ♪ Once a gal counts three chins ♪ 768 00:33:43,065 --> 00:33:44,775 ♪ Then the surgery begins ♪ 769 00:33:44,775 --> 00:33:47,778 ♪ But each nip and tuck is well-deserved ♪ 770 00:33:47,778 --> 00:33:51,240 ♪ We're like quality ham or a prize-winning jam ♪ 771 00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:54,535 ♪ In the fact that we're so well-preserved ♪ 772 00:33:54,535 --> 00:33:56,620 - ♪ We've been stapled and snapped ♪ 773 00:33:56,620 --> 00:34:00,916 ♪ But once we're unwrapped, you may fail to recognize us ♪ 774 00:34:00,916 --> 00:34:04,837 ♪ When you see our new face and it comes time to praise ♪ 775 00:34:04,837 --> 00:34:07,172 BOTH: ♪ Don't Cleo-patronize us ♪ 776 00:34:07,172 --> 00:34:11,510 [trombone "wah-wahs" 777 00:34:11,510 --> 00:34:14,638 ♪ Everybody loves their mummy ♪ 778 00:34:14,638 --> 00:34:18,308 ♪ You know Mama knows best ♪ 779 00:34:18,308 --> 00:34:21,436 ♪ Better say you love your mummy ♪ 780 00:34:21,436 --> 00:34:24,481 ♪ Or we might get undressed ♪ 781 00:34:24,481 --> 00:34:26,149 ♪ Who's your mummy? Who's your mummy? ♪ 782 00:34:26,149 --> 00:34:28,443 - ♪ I'm your sister and your mummy ♪ 783 00:34:28,443 --> 00:34:30,028 - ♪ Say I'm your mummy ♪ 784 00:34:30,028 --> 00:34:31,321 - ♪ No, I'm your mummy ♪ 785 00:34:31,321 --> 00:34:33,156 BOTH: ♪ Who's your mummy? Who's your mummy? ♪ 786 00:34:33,156 --> 00:34:34,741 ♪ I'm your mummy, I'm your mummy ♪ 787 00:34:34,741 --> 00:34:36,118 - ♪ Damn, you're getting flabby ♪ 788 00:34:36,118 --> 00:34:38,787 - ♪ Girl, your makeup's looking crummy ♪ 789 00:34:38,787 --> 00:34:40,247 You've all heard of King Tut? 790 00:34:40,247 --> 00:34:42,082 Well, say hello to Queen Slut. 791 00:34:42,082 --> 00:34:45,252 - [laughs] You've all heard of Nefertiti. 792 00:34:45,252 --> 00:34:48,297 Well, please welcome to the stage Heifer-titi. 793 00:34:48,297 --> 00:34:49,715 [cow moos] - Hilarious. 794 00:34:49,715 --> 00:34:52,009 Especially coming from Nefer-funny. 795 00:34:52,009 --> 00:34:54,553 - You're so old, you swam in the Dead Sea 796 00:34:54,553 --> 00:34:56,388 when it was still getting sick. 797 00:34:56,388 --> 00:34:58,724 - You put the mess in Mesopotamia. 798 00:34:58,724 --> 00:35:00,851 - You put the not funny in this show. 799 00:35:00,851 --> 00:35:02,561 - Kiss my ass. 800 00:35:02,561 --> 00:35:06,023 - Listen, this number may be long and boring 801 00:35:06,023 --> 00:35:08,192 and feature dusty old jokes, 802 00:35:08,192 --> 00:35:10,903 but it does have one thing going for it. 803 00:35:10,903 --> 00:35:13,947 - Yeah, it doesn't feature Ginger or Monét. 804 00:35:20,204 --> 00:35:21,580 - Wow. 805 00:35:21,580 --> 00:35:24,666 That was a lot of dad jokes from two old mummies. 806 00:35:24,666 --> 00:35:26,251 - Yes, but it did the trick. 807 00:35:26,251 --> 00:35:29,213 Look, the mummy community was thrilled with the number. 808 00:35:29,213 --> 00:35:31,298 - Mm, not everybody was thrilled, girl. 809 00:35:31,298 --> 00:35:33,759 No, username IHateEverything said, 810 00:35:33,759 --> 00:35:35,594 "This Egyptian number sphinx." 811 00:35:35,594 --> 00:35:37,304 - Everyone's a critic. 812 00:35:37,304 --> 00:35:39,640 - Well, the good news is, none of us ever have to sit 813 00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:41,183 through that number again. 814 00:35:41,183 --> 00:35:43,685 - The bad news is, we're still trapped here in this nightmare 815 00:35:43,685 --> 00:35:47,147 where either one of us can be slaughtered at any moment! 816 00:35:47,147 --> 00:35:49,191 I'd much rather be home watching Huluween 817 00:35:49,191 --> 00:35:50,609 than being stuck inside it. 818 00:35:50,609 --> 00:35:51,944 - I know, tell me a-- 819 00:35:51,944 --> 00:35:53,320 oh, you're just gonna walk away. 820 00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:55,405 Okay. 821 00:35:55,405 --> 00:35:57,699 Haven't we fulfilled all of the commitments 822 00:35:57,699 --> 00:35:59,368 of hosting a Huluween drag show? 823 00:35:59,368 --> 00:36:01,870 I mean, we've been through every page in this book. 824 00:36:01,870 --> 00:36:03,956 - Then why are we trapped here? 825 00:36:03,956 --> 00:36:05,374 Hello? 826 00:36:05,374 --> 00:36:06,959 We'd like to go home now. 827 00:36:06,959 --> 00:36:08,836 - Wait! 828 00:36:08,836 --> 00:36:10,796 There's a page missing. 829 00:36:10,796 --> 00:36:13,131 Somebody ripped it out. 830 00:36:13,131 --> 00:36:15,592 What kind of an idiot would do such a thing? 831 00:36:15,592 --> 00:36:17,928 - I don't know, but if I get my hands on them, girl, 832 00:36:17,928 --> 00:36:20,472 I'm gonna let them have it. 833 00:36:20,472 --> 00:36:23,225 Oh. [laughs] 834 00:36:23,225 --> 00:36:24,351 What? I had to write 835 00:36:24,351 --> 00:36:25,561 the werewolf's number down somewhere. 836 00:36:25,561 --> 00:36:26,728 - Mm-hmm. 837 00:36:26,728 --> 00:36:28,355 Never mind. What does it say? 838 00:36:28,355 --> 00:36:30,065 - I'm not giving you his number. 839 00:36:30,065 --> 00:36:32,025 - The other side. 840 00:36:32,025 --> 00:36:33,861 - Oh, it says, 841 00:36:33,861 --> 00:36:36,738 "No self-respecting Huluween drag variety show 842 00:36:36,738 --> 00:36:39,408 "can end without a big, splashy musical finale 843 00:36:39,408 --> 00:36:41,702 featuring all the cast members." 844 00:36:41,702 --> 00:36:43,787 - Even the tone-deaf ones with two left feet? 845 00:36:43,787 --> 00:36:45,247 - Yeah. Even you, bitch. 846 00:36:45,247 --> 00:36:46,331 - [scoffs] 847 00:36:46,331 --> 00:36:47,541 [spooky organ music] 848 00:36:47,541 --> 00:36:49,751 Oh, there's the music! 849 00:36:49,751 --> 00:36:51,378 I guess the finale's starting now. 850 00:36:51,378 --> 00:36:53,046 - Oh, thank God. 851 00:36:53,046 --> 00:36:55,132 Listen, I missed my sister's cousin's husband's 852 00:36:55,132 --> 00:36:56,592 accountant's bris for this. 853 00:36:56,592 --> 00:36:58,719 - It's all happening. 854 00:36:58,719 --> 00:37:01,638 This really is the big finale. 855 00:37:01,638 --> 00:37:04,641 - Is there any rule against taking a monster home with me? 856 00:37:04,641 --> 00:37:07,436 - I don't know, but tighten your corset. 857 00:37:07,436 --> 00:37:09,021 It's time. 858 00:37:09,021 --> 00:37:12,274 ♪ ♪ 859 00:37:12,274 --> 00:37:14,318 - Oh, my God, wait, is this the finale number? 860 00:37:14,318 --> 00:37:16,069 - Wait, what? 861 00:37:16,069 --> 00:37:17,696 - My pits are sweating. 862 00:37:17,696 --> 00:37:19,281 Someone get me out of here. 863 00:37:19,281 --> 00:37:22,659 - OMG, where are we? - What's happening? 864 00:37:22,659 --> 00:37:24,453 - Yeah! 865 00:37:24,453 --> 00:37:26,455 ALL: ♪ It's over ♪ 866 00:37:26,455 --> 00:37:30,292 ♪ No more monsters looking over my shoulder ♪ 867 00:37:30,292 --> 00:37:34,546 ♪ No more spooky songs 'cause this is the closer ♪ 868 00:37:34,546 --> 00:37:37,549 ♪ And it's time to say goodbye to my friends ♪ 869 00:37:37,549 --> 00:37:41,386 ♪ Let's not do this again, it's the end, girlfriend ♪ 870 00:37:41,386 --> 00:37:43,430 - The Dragstravaganza's over. 871 00:37:43,430 --> 00:37:45,599 Time to go our separate ways. 872 00:37:45,599 --> 00:37:47,267 - I can't believe we did it sober. 873 00:37:47,267 --> 00:37:48,894 - Speak for yourself. I've been drunk for days. 874 00:37:48,894 --> 00:37:50,729 - No, really, girls. That's it. We're done. 875 00:37:50,729 --> 00:37:52,898 And we did it all with poise. 876 00:37:52,898 --> 00:37:54,441 - Though we do have some thoughts 877 00:37:54,441 --> 00:37:56,944 on Monét's fashion choice. 878 00:37:56,944 --> 00:37:58,779 ♪ ♪ 879 00:37:58,779 --> 00:38:02,783 - ♪ And now we say good night ♪ 880 00:38:02,783 --> 00:38:06,745 ♪ To this world of fright ♪ 881 00:38:06,745 --> 00:38:10,624 - ♪ No monsters or TV for me ♪ 882 00:38:10,624 --> 00:38:11,959 BOTH: I'm free! 883 00:38:11,959 --> 00:38:13,919 - Okay. Is it over? 884 00:38:13,919 --> 00:38:16,171 - No? No? 885 00:38:16,171 --> 00:38:18,173 I thought we done did everything in the book. 886 00:38:18,173 --> 00:38:19,424 - You did, girl. 887 00:38:19,424 --> 00:38:21,510 - But we've gotta sing at least one more chorus. 888 00:38:21,510 --> 00:38:23,762 - Okay. A-one, two, three-- 889 00:38:23,762 --> 00:38:25,430 - [screams] 890 00:38:25,430 --> 00:38:26,807 - Girl, what was that? 891 00:38:26,807 --> 00:38:29,393 - I just wanted more screen time. 892 00:38:29,393 --> 00:38:31,144 ALL: ♪ It's over ♪ 893 00:38:31,144 --> 00:38:35,357 ♪ No more monsters looking over my shoulder ♪ 894 00:38:35,357 --> 00:38:39,152 ♪ No more spooky songs 'cause this is the closer ♪ 895 00:38:39,152 --> 00:38:42,155 ♪ And it's time to say goodbye to my friends ♪ 896 00:38:42,155 --> 00:38:46,451 ♪ Let's not do this again, it's the end, girlfriend ♪ 897 00:38:46,451 --> 00:38:50,455 ♪ No ghouls, no bats, nighty-night, it's over ♪ 898 00:38:50,455 --> 00:38:54,168 ♪ We won't come back, nighty-night, it's over ♪ 899 00:38:54,168 --> 00:38:58,422 ♪ No ghosts, just pass, nighty-night, it's over ♪ 900 00:38:58,422 --> 00:38:59,923 ♪ We won't come back ♪ 901 00:38:59,923 --> 00:39:02,426 BUNNY: I'm getting back in my crypt. 902 00:39:02,426 --> 00:39:04,678 ALL: ♪ No ghouls, no bats ♪ JACKIE: Nuh-uh. 903 00:39:04,678 --> 00:39:06,555 ALL: ♪ Nighty-night, it's over ♪ 904 00:39:06,555 --> 00:39:10,475 ♪ We won't come back, nighty-night, it's over ♪ 905 00:39:10,475 --> 00:39:14,438 ♪ No ghosts, just pass, nighty-night, it's over ♪ 906 00:39:14,438 --> 00:39:16,023 ♪ We won't come back ♪ 907 00:39:16,023 --> 00:39:17,191 BUNNY: Until next year! 908 00:39:17,191 --> 00:39:19,151 ALL: ♪ It's over ♪ 909 00:39:19,151 --> 00:39:23,155 ♪ No more monsters looking over my shoulder ♪ 910 00:39:23,155 --> 00:39:27,284 ♪ No more spooky songs 'cause this is the closer ♪ 911 00:39:27,284 --> 00:39:30,120 ♪ And it's time to say goodbye to my friends ♪ 912 00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:34,583 ♪ Let's not do this again, it's the end, girlfriend ♪ 913 00:39:34,583 --> 00:39:36,627 - [breathing heavily] Something's happening. 914 00:39:36,627 --> 00:39:39,505 I think it worked. This really is the end. 915 00:39:39,505 --> 00:39:42,549 - Oh, farewell, everyone! 916 00:39:42,549 --> 00:39:46,136 It's been real, but it's not been fun. 917 00:39:46,136 --> 00:39:48,055 Ta-ta, bitches! 918 00:39:48,055 --> 00:39:50,307 - Bye. - Suck it, Jackie. 919 00:39:50,307 --> 00:39:52,935 - Finally, I haven't eaten, in, like 20 minutes. 920 00:39:52,935 --> 00:39:54,811 - A world record for you. 921 00:39:54,811 --> 00:39:58,774 ALL: ♪ Let's not do this again, it's the end, girlfriend ♪ 922 00:40:00,692 --> 00:40:03,987 [both gasping] 923 00:40:03,987 --> 00:40:07,241 - [laughs] - We did it. 924 00:40:07,241 --> 00:40:09,034 Key word, "we." 925 00:40:09,034 --> 00:40:11,870 - Yes, yes, I think we both learned 926 00:40:11,870 --> 00:40:13,664 a very valuable lesson here today. 927 00:40:13,664 --> 00:40:17,125 - That, uh, cooperation and teamwork 928 00:40:17,125 --> 00:40:19,294 are the only way to get through this crazy world? 929 00:40:19,294 --> 00:40:21,713 - No, I learned that... 930 00:40:21,713 --> 00:40:24,508 it's every bitch for herself. 931 00:40:24,508 --> 00:40:27,594 - What are you gonna do, bedazzle me to death? 932 00:40:27,594 --> 00:40:28,929 - You're toast, bitch. 933 00:40:28,929 --> 00:40:32,558 - [gasps] No. No! 934 00:40:32,558 --> 00:40:35,143 No. No! 935 00:40:35,143 --> 00:40:37,604 [knock at door] [gasps] 936 00:40:37,604 --> 00:40:39,898 - Ladies, you're on. 937 00:40:39,898 --> 00:40:41,400 MONET: Girl, get yourself together. 938 00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:44,027 It was just a dream. 939 00:40:44,027 --> 00:40:46,697 - Right. We still have a show to do. 940 00:40:46,697 --> 00:40:49,908 - What do you say we go out there and knock 'em dead? 941 00:40:49,908 --> 00:40:51,660 GINGER: I am not changing my shoes, though. 942 00:40:51,660 --> 00:40:54,621 - Girl, me either. 943 00:40:54,621 --> 00:40:57,624 [laughing sinisterly] 944 00:40:57,624 --> 00:41:00,627 [ominous music] 945 00:41:00,627 --> 00:41:03,964 ♪ ♪