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Thanks.
I don't usually walk around like this.
Sorry, what?
I said I don't always walk around like this.
Okay.
This is for a "BP".
A bachelorette party.
A friend of ours is getting married and we want to surprise her.
Cool, okay.
What are you listening to?
-A podcast. -Oh, cool. I love podcasts.
-Yeah? -Yeah.
So what do you listen to?
A lot. A lot of different ones. I heard something the other day about...
the brain, about the human brain. A bunch of stuff about how complex it is.
-Great. -Yeah, exciting.
What are you listening to?
This & That. Um, that's the name.
They talk about all kinds of things.
In this one, they're comparing fake meat to real meat.
Oh, interesting.
-Yeah. -So?
I still have to finish listening.
Maybe we can get together sometime to talk about This & That and everything.
Do you want to give me your number?
No.
Do you want my number?
-Not really. -Why not?
I just don't want it.
Don't you want to talk about podcasts?
I do, but we've basically already done that.
You assholes are all the same.
What did you just say?
- I didn't say anything. -Did you say "you Arabs are all the same"?
What? No. I didn't say...
- I don't want to go out and you say that? -No, I didn't say "Arab".
-What's up with you, racist? -I'm not racist.
-How am I supposed to know you're Arab? -Then what did you say?
"Assholes". I said "you assholes are all the same".
Oh, so now all Arabs are assholes too?
No!
I meant "men". I just wanted to say that all men are assholes.
You know what?
I think I'd rather walk.
I vote Green!
Are you Jasmin?
You're late. We agreed on 10 pm sharp.
-What's that? -Rum and Coke.
Shouldn't you clean that up?
The last group was hammered, that's why I'm late.
I ordered a clean limo. This is all sticky and stinky.
I ain't cleaning.
I'm the driver. I sit and drive.
"BACHELORETTE PARTY"
-She's usually early. How late is it? -Half past ten.
-We're sober. We should've pre-gamed. -Thanks for the reminder.
-Open your hand. -What's that?
Highly concentrated turmeric.
Take some. You won't get a hangover. It'll be like you didn't drink at all.
-Don't know if I want to. -Just take it.
This tastes gross!
Where did you get it?
Instagram ad.
Sorry, sorry, sorry! I had to clean the seats.
-Have you been waiting long? -Yeah.
-Jasmin, it's not fair! -I'm sorry.
Not that. Beaming at me with your pretty face. How do you do that?
-It's just makeup. -Oh my God, you thought of everything!
-Yup, I'm a pro. -Not like it's her first time.
You should be a professional maid of honor.
-Is Antonia coming? -No, she canceled too.
Wrote in the group that Noah got sick.
-Crying emoji. -Too bad.
Mommies with snotty kids are a pain in the ass anyway.
-They would've been party poopers. -Look, it's for Helena.
This will be fun. She doesn't suspect a thing.
-Okay, ready? -Yes.
-Hello? -Amazon. Package for you.
-Matte? -Yeah?
Did you order something?
Me?
No.
Oh...
Shit.
Surprise!
Wow!
What a great surprise!
-I'm so sorry. -Why didn't you tell me?
I totally forgot. I was going to tell you.
-Now what do I do? -Jasmin sent me a text, and I totally...
Why have you been sitting on the toilet for 30 minutes?
Reading online reviews for strollers. It's more complex than I thought...
Oh shit, shit, shit.
I have to tell them now. They'll want to drink all night.
-It won't get too wild. -Like hell it won't.
They even brought a fucking penis balloon. The whole nine yards. Oh no!
This is the last thing I need.
You should have prevented it. You've put me in a shitty situation.
Aren't you going to say anything?
Your baby bump is starting to show.
Really?
Three months are almost up. Why don't you tell them?
You can have fun without alcohol.
And if it gets to be too much, I'll come get you, okay?
We definitely should have pre-gamed.
Tada!
Wow! What a little hottie!
-Pretty! - I don't know, it looks silly...
Don't worry. It'll be fun.
Bachelorette Party!
Champagne! Champagne! Champagne!
The bottle's warm.
What?
-They're made of plastic. -This is disgusting.
Sorry, I should have checked. Want some anyway?
-No, I'll wait. -Gimme some.
Oh, look! A sunroof.
-Where's the button? -Here it is!
-Hey, come up here too, it's fun. -Let's all put our heads through it.
Girls, I don't, I don't think we can all fit through...
I'm sorry.
Hi!
You guys!
-I'm stuck! -It was your dumb idea!
What do you want me to do? What can I do?
I can't get out of here either. Man.
My arm!
Gina, my arm!
I can't do this all by myself!
What do you want? Jasmin! Jasmin, watch it!
Could you please get off me!
-Can you shut the fuck up? -I have to get out now!
-People are looking! -Wait, wait, wait...
Yeah, I'll just climb out. Wait, yes!
Oh my God!
Hi, I'm Jasmin. We have a reservation.
Excuse me? Excuse me?
Come. Sit there!
I'll get the first round, okay?
Hi, four gin and tonics, please.
Hey, my ex used to work here. Can you give us a good price?
-Who's your ex? -Tim. His name is Tim.
Don't know any Tim. When did he work here?
-Seven or eight years ago. - I don't know any Tim.
Hey, Patrick! Do you know a Tim?
-Who's Tim? -Her ex-boyfriend.
-How would I know him? -He used to work here.
-When did he work here? -Seven or eight years ago.
- I don't know any Tim. -It's not that important.
Sorry, I don't know any Tim. Need a tray?
It's fine.
Excuse me...
-Are you okay? -All okay. Nothing happened.
Look, Gina. He keeps looking over at us.
-Who? -That one. With the hat.
-Too bad they don't all wear hats. -He must be thin on top.
-Behave, he's coming over. -Gina, he's coming.
Just stay cool.
-Hi. -Hi.
-Is this seat taken? -No worries.
Is anyone else coming?
No, most canceled. Antonia was supposed to come, but she canceled too.
-Why? -Noah has a fever.
They all canceled due to their kids. Blah blah.
"My baby won't sleep without me." "I have postnatal Pilates."
"How about something in Munich? I can't fl..." Oh, the surprise.
They all said they'd rather do a spa day and make flower wreaths.
I was like, "Helena would hate it." I know I definitely would.
If someone throws me a bachelorette party and there are no dicks in the mix,
then the friendship's over!
You're the last one who still has a life and isn't knocked up.
So today and maybe tomorrow... surprise, surprise... we'll live it up!
-Where are the drinks? -You're gonna love Ibiza.
Anna, you dumb-ass. It was supposed to be a surprise.
-Ibiza? -Forget Ibiza, you didn't hear a thing.
If Jasmin finds out that Anna blabbed, she'll cry.
-Were you crying? -No, someone just... Never mind.
For the bride!
-To Helena! -To the hottest chick!
To you.
Puke first, drink later. I like that.
-Oh God. I'm sorry. -Aren't you feeling well?
-Stomach bug, maybe? -No, I'm fine.
I'm fine, it's just ...
I'm feeling queasy, but...
-I'm not sick, I'm just... -Pregnant.
Congratulations.
You look kind of disappointed.
What? Is this what a disappointed face looks like?
I'm really happy for you.
-It's so exciting. -Congrats from us too.
Thanks.
I was actually going to tell you all next week, but...
That's why this is all...
Maybe we can do this another time?
What?
Helena, I'm really happy for you, but when could we possibly do it?
-Congrats on the baby and all. -You're history now.
-Like Antonia, Babsi, Meike, Julika... -And Paul.
-When can we do it? -Will you breastfeed?
-Sure. -Good.
We can't have your bachelorette party four years after the wedding.
I won't be breastfeeding for four years!
No, but you'll be pregnant again in two years, and you'll breastfeed again.
You just don't know that yet.
- I feel really bad. -Would you rather go home?
I'm so sorry.
You went to so much trouble.
I'm sorry I wasn't excited right away.
It all happened so fast. Hello.
-Don't cry. -But we'll never see each other again...
We'll definitely see each other again.
I'll return the favor at your wedding. Okay?
Careful!
-Wait, I'm afraid you can't go in. -Why? We were just inside.
-You're too drunk, no way. -What? We didn't even touch our G&Ts.
You threw up. No way.
We didn't throw up. Helena did, and she's on her way home.
Besides, our stuff is in there.
Have fun with that.
Maybe we should've done the spa after all, Gina.
At least I was able to cancel the hotel room for free.
What about the flights?
-I'm still on hold. -How much longer are we supposed to wait?
-I just called. -I don't mean the stupid hotline.
I mean life.
Men.
Family. Children...
I thought you didn't want children.
Hey, get a fucking room! This is a place of contemplation!
Another hazelnut schnapps, please.
-Are you okay? -We've been single for too long.
Singles are like fruit.
First you smell sweet and exciting.
But the longer you stand around, the more you start to stink.
-...in a moment. -Then the flies come.
You start to go moldy.
And people smell you before you even enter the room.
Please hold the line.
Someone will be with you in a moment.
If we don't drop anchor somewhere soon...
we'll be adrift on the high seas until we die.
Eternal singles.
Soon we'll run out of eggs.
Then we'll be done for.
Our wombs will be all dried-up.
We'll be undateable.
Your query is important to us.
Someone will be with you in a moment.
Then we're the lonely neighbor you see in the checkout line,
buying pet food and a three-pack of skin-colored comfort panties.
Social outcasts.
Asexual. Cat ladies.
Call it what you want, but...
we'll be lonely forever.
Please hold the line.
Someone will be with you in a moment.
I keep dreaming that I'm sitting in the waiting room, waiting to be called.
And even though I have an appointment, the others get to go in before me.
I'm the last one in the waiting room.
And then the clinic closes.
Please hold the line. Someone will be with you in a moment.
-I shouldn't have let him go. -Oh no, here we go again.
-I had the best man ever. -Who?
Tim. She's talking about Tim again.
But that was five years ago.
-Eight. - completely fucked it up...
What kind of a stupid ass proposes to her boyfriend in her mid-twenties?
I know what you have to do.
-What? -You have to tap.
Like this, here.
And here.
Try it.
-What are you doing? -It's the Emotional Freedom Technique.
You have to tap yourself.
It helps with anxiety disorders and panic attacks.
It's also good for weight loss.
You can tap here too.
I'm valuable.
"I'm valuable." Say that.
I'm valuable.
I'm a complete idiot. I was the first to find the man of her dreams.
And now I'm going to be the last one in the waiting room. I totally...
Stop busting my balls with stories about this wuss and waiting rooms.
Wake up, girl.
You're only single because you're still chasing after Tim.
Eight fucking years later.
It's not your fault. He took off. He would've even if you hadn't proposed.
His kind are like that. You didn't do anything wrong.
You're wasting your best years hoping for that douche to come back.
Forget about him. Tim robbed you of the best years of your life!
He robbed me of the best years of my life.
Yes, the best years of your life. The fuckwit.
-The fuckwit. -Yes, say it louder.
-Tim is a fuckwit! -That's my girl.
-He's a son of a bitch! -Forget about him.
-I'll forget about him! -I've already forgotten him.
-I've forgotten him too. - I don't even know who you're on about.
Well, Tim. We've been talking about Tim the whole time.
-Yeah, I know... -You know what?
We shouldn't be sad about being single. Right?
I mean, it's 5 am.
We're here eating kebab and nobody cares. I even ordered it with garlic,
because nobody cares what we do.
We could go out and party with 20-year-old druggies if we wanted to.
-Helena can't do that. -Exactly.
True, she's pregnant...
Welcome to Fly Today. My name is Dennis. How can I help you?
Hello?
She'd probably just whine in Ibiza. Let her have the fucking spa day.
-We can go to a spa when we're dead. -Fuck 'em.
Fuck those fucking squares, with their station wagons and...
-All-weather jackets and matching outfits. -And their...
Raclettes.
What's with this raclette crap anyway?
If I get another invite to a raclette night, I'll shoot myself.
-What about bread machines? -Who makes their own bread?
-People who are dead inside. -Fuck men.
Nobody needs them.
We've got us. We'll just freeze our eggs.
Bad news.
The guy said we can't cancel the plane tickets.
Anna, that's not bad news. It's good news.
We need the tickets.
It's not my fault that cow got pregnant!
We won't let it spoil our fun.
This weekend is ours and we have a right to party.
We'll do exactly what they can't do anymore.
We're doing this bachelorette party without a bride!
-When's the flight? -In four hours.
That's the best idea anyone in the world has ever had.
Jasmin, someday I'm going to marry you.
We'll pull an all-nighter, grab our bags and head to the airport.
-Do you think that's a good idea? -I just said it's the best idea anyone...
No, I mean the vodka-ayran.
We're going to find out.
To being single and the trip no one can take away!
To us!
We need cava to come down.
-What's cava? -How can you think about drinking again?
If we don't counterattack now, we've lost. Never forget that. We need cava.
What's cava?
Not now, Anna. Keep an eye out for hotties.
I thought the cashier was hot.
The cashier, are you kidding me? The one who looked like Steven Mnuchin?
Who's Steven Mnuchin?
-Oh, Anna. - I didn't think he was too shabby.
-You guys really need cava. -He's good-looking.
-Who? -Back there.
Is this cava?
-Isn't he a bit short? -Tim wasn't tall either.
Oh God. He's hot because he reminds you of Tim.
-He doesn't look like Tim at all. -He looks exactly like Tim.
Look, that guy there is Tim.
-Fuck, that's Tim. -Hello!
-Hi. -Hi.
-Hi, Tim.
-Hi, I'm Tim. -Yeah, we know each other, actually.
Oh, yeah, sure. Sorry.
-Wow. -Wow.
-Long time no see. -Very long.
And... what are you doing?
I'm still doing photography.
-Cool. Is it going well? -Yes, not bad.
I've had a couple of exhibitions and I can pay the rent now.
Wow.
I actually meant, what are you doing here?
Oh... yeah, I...
It looks like I'm getting married.
-Does it just look that way or are you? -No. I'm really getting married.
But not here.
My bachelor party's here. The guys whisked me away yesterday.
Stefan, Simon and Django, you know them. They're here somewhere, buying fruit.
Wow... You're getting married.
Right. But you don't know her.
How about you? You're getting married too, apparently.
-I am? -Are you wearing the crown just for fun?
Oh, I see, no... Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm getting married too, yeah. This is my bachelorette party.
Gina and Anna abducted me last night. Yeah, totally rad.
-I was totally surprised. -That's incredible.
How great, congratulations!
I'm so happy for you. Do I know him?
-Who? -Your future husband.
Oh, no, no, no. You don't know him. His name is...
Philipp. And he's just...
-Incredible. -Who is Phil...?
He's nice, he's good-looking, he's sweet, he's strong.
He makes an insane salary, which of course I don't care about
as I make good money, but two salaries are better than one.
And what does he do?
He's a manager.
Well, a general manager.
He manages... things...
In general.
-Great. -Yeah, he's just...
A dream.
I'm incredibly relieved right now. I thought maybe you were still...
What?
I don't know. Sorry. No... I'm just insanely happy for you.
Yes, she's very, very, very happy. Really.
It couldn't have worked out better for her.
I told you it would all work out in the end. Hey...
The guys rented a big, beautiful villa,
with a sea view, and it's really big.
I'm sure they'd be happy if we all did something together.
Then we can have a quiet chat...
-Of course, we can... -That's really nice... but no.
We're so busy ourselves. We have so much to do... and drink.
Besides, I don't know how Philipp would feel about it if you two...
It was just a suggestion.
Call if you feel like it. You still have my number?
-Yes, 0176-348... - I think your friends just left.
Right... See you later then... maybe.
-See you later then. -Till then.
Man, what took you so long?
-Did you know those girls? -Yeah, Jasmin. I just said hello.
-Why did you buy so many watermelons? -Vitamin B5. For the immune system.
-Stalker Jasmin, or what? -Your psycho ex?
How will we ever eat so many watermelons?
-I never found her unattractive. -For fruit salad.
-Her, here? Stalking again? -What are you talking about?
She's not stalking. She's getting married, and having her bachelorette party here.
Apparently, she found the man of her dreams.
He said he was getting married...
It's all for the best. Now you can forget about him once and for all.
He never wanted to get married...
See? What did I tell you? His kind are like that. You're better off.
Him showing up is no coincidence. It's a sign from above.
-There's no "above". -There is.
-No. -There is.
He showed up here so you'd finally let go.
Anna. Tissue.
Come on.
Hey. Hey, hey, hey. Look.
-That was so embarrassing. -No, it wasn't.
Look what a pretty face you have.
Besides, you're getting married now too.
This will be your bachelorette party now. We'll have the best day of our lives.
Come on!
I'm sorry, your reservation has been canceled.
Yes. But it was canceled for only a few hours. It was a mistake.
Hm, you're so lucky, the rooms are still available.
But with a different price. It's 320 Euros for each room.
What is she talking about? For the weekend?
No, per night. In total, it's 640 euros for the whole weekend.
But...
I booked it months ago, and it was 130 euros for everything.
That was probably an early bird promotion. Now you've canceled.
And our Insomnia Ibiza party is tomorrow.
But we only canceled for a few hours.
We want to go to the Insomnia party too. Give us one room at the original price.
-That'd be a fair deal. -There's no triple room available.
A double room is enough. Anna will sleep on the couch.
Senorita, you need two rooms.
I can do it another way, okay?
Either you give us the rooms at the original price or get your manager.
Okay.
Paquito? Hello.
Sometimes you need to bang on the table, ladies, or you don't get far in life.
I bet we'll get free breakfast on top.
Can I help you? -Am... we...
We, we, we need beds.
I mean, we need beds to sleep, if it's...
...if it's okay for you. -I cannot give you any discount.
It's high season, prices go up.
Is there anything else I can do to help you?
-Gina, you have to answer. -What did he say?
-I wasn't listening. -He said it's high season.
Okay.
May I walk you to the door?
-What did he say now? -He wants to walk us to the door.
Yes, that would be megamega-nice of you. -My pleasure, my pleasure.
It's my pleasure. -It's my pleasure.
It's my pleasure, really. Thank you. Bye-bye.
-He was gay anyway. -There must be other hotels here.
-Shit. -What?
-He wants to know where to go. -Who?
-The stripper. -What stripper?
For Helena. He was supposed to come upstairs as room service.
-And then... -Strip.
Where will he strip if we don't have a hotel room?
-Can't you cancel it? -I prepaid.
Well, let's meet. If he's a hottie, let him strip.
If not, we can ask for a refund.
I think he's coming.
Hey.
Hello!
It's me. Alberto.
Hola, Alberto.
-What do you think? -Refund. Definitely.
So... where is your hotel?
We are very sorry, we have to cancel.
Why? -Because we don't have a hotel.
But you already paid. -Yes, I know. The plan has changed.
Maybe you can give us our money back?
But I can dance here.
No, please. Thank you. But please don't dance here.
Why?
You don't like me? -What? No.
You don't like my body? -We do.
-Right? Say something! -I'm not going to lie to him.
-Okay, you don't like my body.
That's not true. We like it very much.
Do you think I'm too short? -No.
Really, you are perfect as you are.
Seriously, you think I'm sexy? -Yes, definitely.
Very sexy, even.
...you want me to strip?
I don't think we should hurt his feelings.
Okay.
Yes. Okay.
So...
Is it okay for you? -Yes, it's great.
Ah...
Is it okay for you? -Yes.
Very well.
Mmih...
Yeah...
Hit me.
Hit me more. Hit it like you want it.
Spank it! Oh...
Ah.
Meow. Meow.
Meow.
Ah...
Is it okay for you? Yeah... -Mm.
-I wish we could unsee that. -Let's just never talk about it again.
-Did you find something cheap? -No, they're all expensive or full.
Maybe we should just take the expensive room.
No way. They're criminals. Hotel mafia. I won't fork over my hard-earned money.
But we have to sleep somewhere.
Just look around. We're on the beach on Ibiza.
You couldn't find a warmer, softer bed than this.
Besides, who says we'll sleep? We're young. We'll pull an all-nighter.
Look at this.
-What's with the fucking branch? -It's eucalyptus.
-Did she screw a koala? -Should I like it?
You have to.
Let's post something too.
Show the mommies at home what they're missing.
-Okay. -Okay.
-One, two... -Wait, wait, wait. That looks like crap.
-I always look that way. -Not your face.
The photo. It looks like we're stranded without a hotel room.
-Well, it's true. -Not everyone has to know it.
We'll take the photo on those deck chairs.
-I don't think we're allowed in there. -Quit panicking, Jasmin...
We're just going to take a quick pic.
Let's go. The nice mamma will watch our stuff.
-It has to look like we're having a blast. -Yeah, wait, wait...
I'll take like 30, 40 pictures and we'll pick the best one.
Okay? Here we go.
Three, two...
Wait, wait, wait...
I'm sorry! Marc, hurry up!
It wasn't on purpose.
I 'am so sorry.
It wasn't on purpose.
Don't break it.
Don't break it. No.
Okay, again, we are so sorry, really. I'm an idiot.
No, I'm the idiot.
Say something.
-You're from Germany? -From Munich. It's our bachelorette party.
-Which one of you is getting married? -Not me.
Neither am I. I'm very single. Actually, we're all pretty single.
The bride had too much tequila. She's puking in her room.
-You're in this hotel? -Yes, we are.
Cool. We are too.
Where are you guys from? You haven't told us yet.
-Lausanne. -Oh lá lá, France.
No, Lausanne is in Switzerland.
Oh, right. Lausanne. Sorry, it's your accent.
Is that my glass?
No, your glass was cleared away by the waiter. I think he's new here.
Can I buy you a drink, please? To apologize for...
No worries, nothing happened.
I'll have to look at the menu first.
-All right, if you insist. Gin and tonic. -I'll have this again.
-What was it? -It was a...
A Daiquiri.
Right. Thanks. Daiquiri.
We would like to order some more. -No problem.
But first, I must ask the ladies for their room number.
This area is reserved for hotel guests only.
He wants your room number.
Oh, our room number...
What was it again, Gina? Something with three digits...
Wait. I remember, I think it's 835.
The hotel only has five floors.
Okay, 538 then?
-No.
3857
-No.
3587
-I'm sorry, but I must ask you to leave.
Maybe we got the hotel mixed up?
Eh, which hotel is this?
This is the Ibiza Grand Resort and Spa.
Shit. We're in the wrong hotel. Sorry.
Our hotel was called something else.
-That's right. And ours had eight floors. -Yeah, eight.
Sorry, guys. But maybe we'll see each other somewhere?
At the Insomnia Party tomorrow?
Yes, definitely. Sounds like a plan. Insomnia!
See you there.
Anna?
Oh, sorry. I'd like a coco bongo.
I told you we can't go in there.
Relax, we were super-confident. And we got what we wanted.
Let's see the photo.
Hm...
-Do you want me to post it? -You can crop me out.
We're not cropping anyone out. We'll just take a new photo here.
Where are the suitcases?
-Where did the woman go? -Oh God, she forgot her baby.
Fuck, Gina. This is all your fault!
-How is this my fault? -You wanted to take that fucking photo!
My purse is gone! It had everything in it!
-Shit, shit, shit, shit. -What?
My credit card was in the suitcase. I need to block it right away.
Hello, my credit card was stolen. I need to block it right now.
-You still have your debit card, right? -Yeah, but that speed trap.
-Speed trap? -On the AT, three months ago.
The bill came. You don't want to know.
- I thought your car didn't go that fast. -Me too.
-How much? -Euros or miles per hour?
-Euros. -900.
-900 euros? -Yep. Driver's license is gone.
January 25, 1984...
We still have eight euros.
Jungle Book?
Lion King? Yes.
-No, no, no, no, no! -Great! Goodbye.
Great.
Now the card is blocked forever.
-How much further is it to the beach? -Stop complaining, we're almost there.
The one with the ugly glasses almost bit.
You should've just told him we only wanted his bed.
I did.
Are you stupid, or what?
Where did Anna go?
-Anna? -What?
Goodnight, Gina. Sleep well.
You too.
-What's that? -What is it?
Hey!
Turn off your fucking music. People are trying to sleep here.
I don't think they understand German.
-Turn off your fucking music!
Those pricks are ignoring me.
I'll kick the shit out of them. This is a place of contemplation.
Gina!
- I think they're refugees. -So what?
It's not okay for you to talk about them like that.
God, Anna, go back to sleep. I'm allowed to.
Hey! Hey, you fuckers!
If you don't turn off your fucking music, I'm gonna kick your stupid asses!
I don't like the way she talks to them.
Oh my God. Hey. Hey!
It looks like they don't think it's okay either.
So what did they say?
What do you think they said, Anna?
Good night.
Hello. This is for families.
Get up!
What? -You have to go. This is for families.
Go out!
-What are you doing? -I'm hungry.
-Jasmin... -Yes...
You have to call Tim.
Just for a minute. Just for a minute!
A nap and a quick shower. I just need some sleep.
I just...
36 HOURS EARLIER
So?
What's that supposed to mean?
Six weeks before the wedding?
What am I supposed to say to that?
I don't know either. I just thought I'd be honest enough to tell you.
You goddamn...
You thought it was fair to tell me six weeks beforehand that you're not sure?
It's just the truth, so...
Right.
It's not like you have anything to do with the wedding. You're just the groom.
I'm the dumb one who's paying for it all. You're...
You know what you are? You're a...
Shit.
-Who is that? -It's for you.
I'm not here.
And you can shove that fucking cake catalog you know where.
This is the police. Please open the door.
Surprise!
-Guys, this is awfully nice of you. -Chug-a-lug!
But this really isn't the best time.
-Are you listening to me? No, no, no. -Chug-a-lug!
Chug it! Chug it!
-Yes! -Yay!
-Maybe now is the best time after all. -That's my boy!
-You look beautiful. -Smashing.
Don't worry, this is going to be really embarrassing.
Let's go!
Hello?
Oh, hi.
Oh, no. That's terrible.
Sure, come over. The address is...
Wait, I don't remember...
I'll send it to you right away, okay?
I'll send you the location.
See you soon.
We have to clean up a bit. Lady visitors.
-Who's coming? -Jasmin, Gina and... the other one.
-Where are Stefan and Django? -Sleeping somewhere upstairs.
-Don't touch that. It's for the cat. -What cat?
I had a special encounter with a cat last night.
-What kind of cat? -I don't know.
I can't find her anymore.
Maybe she'll come back when she smells fruit.
My head hurts.
I think this must be it.
Okay, once more. We'll go in,
crash for a few hours, take a shower, borrow some dough and leave, okay?
-Don't forget that you've forgotten Tim. -Right.
Hey!
Glad you guys are here.
Oh man, I'm so sorry. Have you guys been to the police yet?
Yeah, they said they'd call if the suitcases turn up.
-Does this place have water? -Yeah, sure. Come on in for now.
I'll show you your room.
Not bad, Django. Not bad.
Shit.
"Penis". I thought you had a little more class than that.
I can also write something classier. I can't really get it off anyway.
Maybe you can help me. Did I tip the stripper last night?
12 euros are missing from the kitty.
-Stefan? -Yeah.
Didn't you tell me yesterday when you were hammered that you make 250 grand a year?
Maybe. What are you getting at?
Fuck the 12 euros, that's what I'm getting at.
And if you really only tipped the stripper 12 euros, you should be ashamed.
Simon, if I give 50 to everyone who comes along, what'll be left over?
-240 thousand? -Psst. Tim.
-Yes? -Come here.
-What is it? -Come here a minute.
-What is it? -You know how important our friendship is.
You know how long we've known each other. Sometimes I do things I can't remember.
Like accidentally knocking out your baby teeth?
-That wasn't really an accident... -It's not about that.
You forgave me. Remember?
What do you want?
Jasmin is upstairs in bed.
Right. I know all about it.
-What? You know about it? - I told her it's okay.
-You're okay with it? -Yeah, it's no big deal.
Wow, you're so cool.
-Okay. -Sandra will kill me when she finds out.
-Finds what out? -Don't tell her.
-Tell her what? -That I banged your ex.
-You what? - I banged your ex.
-Excuse me? -You just said it was okay.
-What? -Banging Jasmin.
-When did you... Just now? -I told you, I don't really remember.
When I woke up they were in bed.
I think I banged all three of them. Like a hat trick.
Please stop saying "banging".
You didn't... They got here an hour ago and just want to rest.
-You mean I didn't bang them? -No.
-Thank God. Sandra would have fucked me. -Who banged who here?
Nobody banged anybody. Everybody stop saying "banging" now.
-I'd never use the word "banging". -Jasmin and Gina and...
the other one got robbed and had a shitty night. I said they can rest here.
-I hope that's okay with you guys. -Of course.
-Well, they're messing up the whole plan. -What plan are you talking about?
This is a bachelor party for men, women aren't allowed.
-Says who? -Everyone knows that.
General bachelor party rule. No women allowed, except strippers.
-This isn't Saudi Arabia. -You just want them to share the rent.
-You do.
So what's the problem?
My main problem is...
When there are women here, I can't take a dump.
And yes, I think if they stay here, they should contribute to the rent.
-What's so wrong about that? -They've been robbed.
-Did I rob them? -Stefan.
-Say something. -I'm just glad I didn't bang anyone.
Okay, I'm the best man, I make the rules.
And I say this is a men's weekend. This villa is for men.
Men only!
When did those crappy full beards come into fashion? Men don't wet shave anymore.
-Do you want me to ask Tim? -If I can have his razor for my pussy?
-True, that's weird. -Besides, stay away from Tim.
-I know. -Where is Anna, anyway?
Looking for something to eat. I'll check on her in a minute.
Tell her we're about to leave.
-Oh? Where to? - I don't know, but away from here.
If we have to, we'll just wait at the cop station until our suitcases turn up.
-Oh, sorry. Sorry, sorry. -Yeah.
Real quick, I discussed it with the guys and you're welcome to stay here.
-So make yourselves at home. -Thanks.
Okay.
Listen.
I'm sorry if my reaction was odd yesterday at the supermarket.
I'm happy for you and for Philipp.
He's lucky to have found someone like you.
You're great.
Do you have nail polish remover or something? I can't get this off.
No, but you can try olive oil. It definitely helps with makeup.
I'll try that right away. Thanks.
Yeah.
It wasn't just any cat.
You know, Anna? It was a special cat.
It may sound stupid, but...
I had the feeling it was there to tell me something important.
Doesn't sound stupid at all. What did she say then?
Nothing, or I didn't understand her.
She just looked me in the eye, very long and very deep.
Very, very deep.
You know?
I understand.
Maybe I was just drunk, or I dreamed it.
I've been looking for the cat all day, but it's not here.
I'm sure you'll meet again.
-Come on Anna, we have to go. -Really?
Don't you want to stay here a bit until you get your stuff back?
Thanks, we have to go. We'll figure it out.
Or we can go to that whatsit party together.
Insomnia Ibiza closing party.
-Why don't you come along? -Do you have tickets too?
-No. -Forget it.
Door tickets? No chance.
I bought ours over a month ago and they were almost sold out.
Well, it's a good thing you bought a few extras, right?
Why did he buy a few extras?
We... he wanted to pick up girls in the line.
-I still want to. -Don't worry about the tickets.
-Just come with us. -Sounds like a good idea.
I think we need to have a little chat.
Okay, there's a new situation.
You're alone for ten minutes and you fall in love?
I'm not in love. We talked like two adults and really hit it off.
-About cats? -Yes.
No way, Anna. Jasmin and Tim. No way.
-Don't wreck her chances on my account. -Jasmin, please.
-I talked it out with Tim. -When?
Just now. It's different than you think.
It's different now that I know he's getting married.
-Are you telling me you're over him now? -Yes.
-Are you sure? -Yes, really.
Come on, let's go. We were going to anyway.
Besides, the French guys are there too.
They were Swiss.
Okay. Let's go.
-Okay, we'll come with you. -Great idea.
-The tickets were very expensive. -Oh, Stefan.
No, okay. I know you don't have money. You can have the tickets.
-If... you get something for us. -What?
Pills.
-What kind of pills? -What kind of pills do you think?
Stefan, you're not the type.
I know, but if I wanted to try it once, it'd be here on Ibiza.
Yeah, but you can't send three women out to buy drugs.
-Hey, what kind of bullshit is that? -I'm just saying. It's dangerous.
Don't worry about us. We'll get the pills. But they might cost a lot.
No problem, as longs as you don't get screwed over.
-Where will we get drugs? -How much did he give you?
-400 euros. -400 euros?
-He has no clue what drugs cost. -How much do drugs cost?
I don't know. 20, 30 euros, maybe.
I saw a documentary about people getting stuck on them.
-They were mentally slow. -You don't have to worry about that.
Who will you ask? Who did you have in mind?
We're on party island. We'll just ask some druggies.
-What if the cops find out? -What kind of question is that, Anna?
-Do you think they have snitches here? -Who are they?
I think it's more complicated than you think.
Send a text to this number. He gets you what you want.
Thank you.
-The meeting place is up there. -I'm so excited.
-There's no one there. -He'll show up.
-We should have responded to his text. -With what?
Who knows?
"Thank you. Looking forward to meet you."
We're not going to a job interview. It's a drug dealer.
-Leave the talking to me. -Ever done this before?
- I grew up in the hood, okay? -Haven't we been here?
-It looks familiar to me too. -Look, he's back there.
Shit. It's the guys from yesterday.
-The asylum seekers? -They're not seeking asylum.
-Let's just turn around. -Why? I thought you grew up in the hood.
I dissed them yesterday.
-Hey. What do you want?
Hi. We wrote you a text message that we need drugs.
And you said we should meet you here. -What do you want?
Ecstasy. Ecstasy would be great. -How much do you want?
How much is it? -Ten for one.
We need seven.
Give me the money. Gina, the Money. The Money.
Hey, is that you? -(Gina) No, it's not me.
Yes, it is you. I remember you. I remember your dress.
No drugs for you. I don't like you. -Listen. She's sorry.
She was very drunk and very tired.
We had a really bad day, and we just need the drugs.
She has to apologize. She said a very bad thing.
-What did you say? -I don't remember.
What did she say? -She called me a drug dealer.
She has to take that back.
Yes... but you are a drug dealer. -She said it in a bad way.
But you sell drugs, right? -She said it to insult me.
You are a drug dealer. -Yesterday you didn't know.
Why did you say that? -You sell drugs.
Yesterday you didn't know. -I am to apologize
for calling you a drug dealer? -Yes.
And if I don't? -No drugs.
-This is pointless. -Apologize.
-Apologize? I was right. -Just do it.
Okay. Listen.
I'm sorry. But I called you a drug dealer because you look like one.
Because I'm black. -No, no, no.
Because I'm black. -Because of your tattoo.
Please, we just want drugs. -Fucking racist.
I'm not a racist.
I vote Green!
My God, when did men become so sensitive?
Shit, Gina. Why couldn't you just apologize?
I was right. Besides, how am I supposed to be racist?
Gina, dude. You're so...
What are we going to do now?
Why don't we just give them turmeric pills?
-You genius, they'll never notice. -Much healthier anyway.
When they don't feel it, they'll notice.
We'll say we got screwed. By then we'll be in the club.
But then shouldn't we give Stefan his money back?
Then he'll notice even more, idiot.
-What do we do with the money then? -Go shopping.
But only little things that won't attract attention.
Did one of you shave your balls with my beard trimmer?
-Why aren't you eating? -Too much garlic.
I think he's in love.
Man, where are the girls?
-Do you care more about them or the money? -About not having pills at the party.
Hey guys, I'm so excited about the party.
Remember faking stamps in front of the Atomic Cafe?
And now look at us. All men. Suddenly we're all grown up.
Man, the last time we went to a club, we got drunk first, watching TLC on MTV.
-And Tim wasn't such a teetotalling wuss. -Sorry.
-Can I have your pineapple? -Yes.
Drink as much as you can. Cocktails don't taste good with a ring on your finger.
The old days will be over. Bro, I know what I'm talking about.
-I'm the only married man here. -It's nearly 11.
- I told you, they mess everything up. -Can I have your physalis?
-Yeah. -We're going to party.
To Tim and Julia. To your last drink as a free man.
To Tim and Julia.
Honestly, I was going to...
-Shut up for a second. -Okay.
Hi, honey.
Oh, here they come.
...we're just sitting here, sipping cocktails.
Hi.
We were looking for you guys outside.
Stefan wanted air con, so he could keep his jacket on.
Right, come on.
And?
Really? Could you be any more conspicuous?
This is really good stuff.
-Do I get any change or anything? -No.
-We had to bargain them down. -That's a very nice hat you're wearing.
Oh, thanks.
-Is it heavy? -No, it's light.
Do you have a hat too?
-Are you okay? -Yeah. I'll be right back.
-Okay, I'm going to hand these out now. -Now?
Walking past the doorman with a pack of pills?
What if you all get in and I don't? Open up your hands.
-I don't want to. -Yes you do.
-Can I have our tickets? -QR code. On my cell.
We all go in together.
I didn't even know I was a hat person.
-You're definitely a hat person. -Open your hand, please.
-Simon, you too. -Is this really such a good idea...?
Don't worry, we have a doctor with us.
-What could happen? -I'm a paramedic, not a doctor.
Besides, I'd be grateful if I didn't have to go to the hospital on vacation.
You're taking it already?
-Sure, I always take them before drinks. -Anna.
You do realize you just popped an ecstasy?
Oh, right. That's true.
I did it, because... I saw a documentary about drugs.
They said it's better to take them early in the evening. Drugs work better then.
-I bet it wasn't on Discovery. -Do you notice anything yet?
-No, it takes a long... -Yes, I do.
-Really? -It feels totally cool, like...
Like I time-traveled and came back,
but with a slightly defective time machine,
and didn't quite hit the present.
Everything's a little bit off, by just a few seconds.
And I don't know if I'm a few seconds in the future or in the past.
When I say something, I don't know if I've already said it,
or if I'm going to say it, or if I'm saying everything twice.
Or if I'm saying everything twice.
But does it feel good... or bad now?
Totally good.
Okay, I have to know how it feels.
I think you should wait until we're in the...
So, do you feel anything yet?
Hm...
No. Not yet.
-Are you pretending to be on the phone? -No.
-What are you doing? Are you hiding too? -No.
I was just trying to call my fiancé back.
-Is he worried? -No, he just wants to know how I'm doing.
How long have you two been together?
Three... three years.
When did he propose to you?
Oh, I remember that.
Last summer on the beach. It was sunset.
He did the classic kneeling thing. And said "I love you."
"You're the most beautiful woman in the world."
And you? When did you propose?
I didn't. She proposed to me.
-She did? -Yes.
I think she sensed that a proposal wouldn't come from me.
So I said yes. And it's time anyway.
-Did you say yes right away? -What do you mean?
Did you know right away he was the man you wanted to spend your life with?
"Till death do us part" is a concept from when people died before 40.
Marriage is such a... strange idea. Or don't you find it strange at all?
I do.
I find it incredibly strange. The closer the wedding gets, the stranger I find it.
It almost sounds like you're not sure.
Honestly, I'm not.
I don't know, this wedding is rolling towards me like a train,
and I'm chained to the tracks.
-Did you tell her that? -Yes.
When the guys picked me up, we were in the thick of it.
I told her straight up that I wasn't sure.
Was that stupid?
What did she say?
She threw things at me.
Then you probably did the right thing.
-Are you okay? -Yes.
Yes, I think... it's kicking in now.
-Oh, really? -I'm starting to feel it.
Wow, it kicked in... quickly.
-Pretty hot shit. - I told you, this is really good stuff.
Fuck a duck.
This stuff really kicks.
Gee willikers. I think I have to take off my jacket.
-Hey, Stefan, don't overdo it. -How does it feel?
It doesn't feel like time travel to me.
More like... a bus trip without air conditioning.
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. Good heavens.
Knock me over with a feather.
This would knock a strongman out of his suit.
Holy electricity.
I think I have to dance. Do you want to dance too? Let's go to the club.
Okay?
Sch! -Oh Gott.
Put your feet up. All the way up.
It's okay.
Django, please call a doctor.
-I thought I was a doctor. -No, a real one. With a degree.
-I'm here. Everything will be fine. -Oh God...
Oh my God, I think I overdosed. I think I'm dying, Simon.
He's hot, maybe we should go to the hospital.
No, now I'm all set for the party.
-Give him a drink. -This looks serious.
-It can't really be serious, though. -Why?
I just know... from experience.
Oh God, it won't go away... I don't want to get stuck on it.
-I'm with you. -I don't want to die.
I don't want to die. Not on Ibiza. Not at Tim's bachelor party!
It'd be really expensive. If the graves here are as expensive as the hotels...
He's losing his shit and you're making jokes?
Make it go away!
This is really getting too embarrassing.
No, no, it's just the ecstasy.
-Stefan. -Shit.
He has to go to the hospital.
Thank you.
-For what? -It's good to talk to someone about it.
It's impossible with the guys. They just want to...
Well, bachelor parties are for everyone that isn't getting married.
Should we go back?
Where did they go?
Where do you think they went?
They'll probably call from the club, off their tits, asking where we are.
-Do you want to go? -To the club?
-Do we have a choice? -We could just not go.
-Good. -What do we do now?
I don't know.
-Beach? -Beach?
-Okay. -Okay.
Hello, this is Jasmin's voice mail. I'm...
While he's being treated, maybe we should go to the club?
I've got his cell, it's got the tickets on it.
Okay.
-You're with Mr. Huber. -Yes.
-Yes, you speak German. -I need it a lot in the emergency room.
Your friend is fine. It was just an allergic reaction.
A cortisone shot helped. He should stay for another two hours for monitoring.
-An allergy? He took ecstasy... -No. Definitely not.
It was a food intolerance. What did he eat?
-Truffle pasta with beef tenderloin. -And half a portion of goat cheese.
-Does he have any allergies? -No.
Oh! Turmeric. But we didn't eat anything with turmeric.
-Are you sure? -Even if he did...
He gets red skin from a little turmeric. But he'd have to have eaten a lot of it...
Lots and lots of it. Copious amounts of it.
Highly concentrated turmeric.
I mean, what kind of idiot would do that?
Maybe it wasn't ecstasy after all. Where did you get the pills?
Gina?
From... a drug dealer. In the park, where you buy drugs.
Maybe he sold you some kind of shit.
No, I don't think so.
We said we wanted ecstasy.
And the dealer said it was ecstasy. Really good stuff.
He seemed like someone you could trust.
Maybe they spiked the stuff with turmeric.
Who would do something like that? I mean, turmeric?
I mean, it worked when I took it.
It was really good stuff.
-Really good stuff. -Yeah, it was really good stuff.
Really good stuff.
-We need to talk. -What is it?
Whatever this is going to be, I mean between us...
I like you, but we barely know each other...
-I don't want this to come between us. -What are you talking about?
Those were highly concentrated turmeric tablets.
I'm so sorry, I didn't know.
If we'd known he was allergic, then...
I wouldn't have... Why are you laughing?
Sorry, it's not funny at all.
There's no way he can find out. If I'd known he was...
Sorry. But it's kind of funny though.
-No. It's not funny. -Okay, you're right.
But where did you get turmeric tablets from?
I always have them with me. They prevent hangovers.
-Really? -Sure. Do you want to try?
Yeah.
Pretty good.
Yeah, I think so too.
That was a trip, I tell you. I'll never do shit like that again.
So Stefan, how did it feel?
Heavy. Totally heavy. The worst drug trip I've ever had.
What's so funny?
You shouldn't underestimate drugs like that. Especially with alcohol...
Stop! Stop the car!
Stop.
Simon, we want to go. The meter's running.
Leave him alone, I think they have something to talk about.
Is that Tim?
Okay, before you start, I have news. It's all different than you think.
Yeah, you've said that before.
-We were just cuddling naked. -Please stop.
Second, Tim's having marriage doubts. He doesn't love her.
-You're so naive. -Third...
I think we could really be a couple again.
It was a fucking mistake coming here.
Now get dressed, we're leaving. Never contact him again, got it?
Why the tone? You're not my mom.
You bet I'm your mom. You seem to have forgotten that you have a fiancé at home.
This is your bachelorette party. Get dressed, Philipp's waiting.
-Shit. I'm getting married. -Exactly.
I have to tell him.
-What? -That I'm not getting married.
Right. Do that. Go in now, wake him up, and say, "Tim, I just made all this up.
I'm not getting married. There's no bachelorette party. Or Philipp.
I made all this up because no man loves me."
Tell him the whole truth.
Tell him you have his framed photo in your drawer.
That you ruin every party when you start talking about him after two drinks
and scare away every guy who finds you interesting.
Tell him that you're single. So single that you had to invent a husband.
I'm sure he'd like to hear that.
Go ahead. Do it.
Please. Tell him the truth. He'll propose right away.
Don't do it, Jasmin.
It would be very sad and embarrassing.
Would it, Anna?
Hey, are you okay?
Yes.
Doesn't look like it.
Did something happen?
-Pst!
She..
Hey...
-What's going on? -She's crying.
I can see that. I asked her.
Nothing. Everything's fine.
-Is it about Tim? You can talk to us. -No, it's not about Tim.
-It's silly. -No, come on. Tell us.
It's about me and Philipp.
My fiancé.
I don't feel the same as I used to, and the wedding's coming up soon.
When is the wedding?
In a couple of weeks. I don't know what I'm going to do.
-Have you already paid for the location? -Stefan...
-Have you talked about it? -That's what I meant, have you talked?
Yes, a long time ago. A year ago.
Then he proposed to me. He said if we got married, it would all be better.
It won't get better, believe me.
-You need to tell him. -Maybe it's just a feeling.
-You know, it might go away or something. -No, it won't.
It won't go away.
Unbelievable.
Then you really have to tell him.
Maybe that's not such a good start for a marriage.
Here you are. I just made coffee, does anyone want some?
-Is everything okay? -Did you know?
-Know what? -The thing with Philipp.
-What about Philipp? -Jasmin doesn't love him anymore.
Oh no. That's terrible. I didn't know.
I mean, I don't want to butt in too much, but you have to cancel the wedding.
Maybe it would be for the best.
Which one of you idiots put coffee in the kettle?
Jasmin's thinking of calling off her wedding.
What? Why?
How embarrassing. I didn't want to make a scene.
There's no point if you're not in love.
-There's no point in marrying anyway. -I feel the same way.
You have to talk to him.
UNKNOWN CALLER
Maybe the police found our suitcases. Hello?
Who is it?
Philipp.
Are you sure?
Philipp?
Yes, it's Philipp.
He says he can't reach you. He's been worried.
-Oh, really? -He says he wants to talk to you.
-Anna, that can't be. -I swear it's Philipp.
Tell him... I can't right now.
Jasmin can't right now...
He says it's a matter of life and death.
-Anna, just hang up the phone. -I can't do that.
What? Yes. Okay.
Hello, Jasmin? Can you hear me?
-Yes, I hear you. -There you are. Are you all right?
Don't worry, I'm fine.
I wasn't really worried. As long as Gina's with you, I can be sure you're fine.
She really is a very good friend.
We should invite her to raclette dinners more often.
-Yes, she is really incredible. -Tell him right now.
Yeah, tell him.
Philipp, it's good that you called, as I have something important to tell you.
-I have something important to say too. -But I was first...
I went to the doctor today.
He referred me to the radiologist right away.
I don't want to spoil your weekend,
but I thought it was important that you find out right away...
I have cancer.
Unfortunately, a pretty bad case.
But today's Sunday, how could you see a doctor?
Hospital. It was urgent.
At breakfast, there was blood in my cereal.
I went to the hospital right away. They told me it was cancer.
Oh God, Jasmin. I'm so glad I have you.
I promise you I'll beat this cancer and always be there for you.
Just like you will always be there for me.
That's what love is for.
We'll overcome the worst crises, Jasmin.
I love you very much.
On the subject of love, I have to say something now.
I think it's only fair that I tell you the truth...
The truth is...
-No way. -Bad timing.
-The truth is... -Not now...
-The truth is that I love you too...? -Yes.
I don't say this to you often.
But I love you too, and you'll get through this, sweetheart.
No matter what happens.
I'm going to get some real coffee.
Hey.
What happened?
Tim!
Tim, wait!
Wait. I need to talk to you.
This had nothing to do with you, believe me.
Jasmin, it was a huge mistake. Let's never speak of it again.
-But we have to talk about it. -About what?
About last night. About us.
There's nothing to say. We were drunk. Now we'll go home and get married.
But why did you tell me all that?
-Why did you tell me you're not sure? -I've no clue. It was a mistake.
But do you want to marry her or not? You need to decide.
I don't have to do anything.
I can't decide. And I don't want to decide either.
And it's completely absurd to make decisions in this world.
There's way too much of everything, and no matter what you decide,
you always do something wrong. I don't even know what kind of milk to drink.
Because... cow milk is bad for the animals and soy milk is bad for the environment.
And if you don't drink milk at all, it's bad for your bones.
But I'm not milk.
Please, Jasmin.
Just go back to Philipp and forget everything that happened here.
The man is sick. He needs you now.
I have to tell you something.
What?
Philipp doesn't have cancer.
What?
That wasn't Philipp on the phone.
It was Gina. It was all just a stupid joke.
I don't understand.
Philipp and I aren't engaged at all.
There is no Philipp at all.
This isn't my bachelorette party either. We're just pretending.
Tim.
Just admit that you care about me.
Some things happen for a reason. It's a sign from above.
Or is it just coincidence we met here?
What do you mean, it's not coincidence?
Did you fly out here after me?
-Have you been following me? -Tim, no!
What are you talking about? How was I supposed to know
that you were going to Ibiza and getting married?
Stop following me!
...she got pregnant and then I got...
What don't you understand?
What didn't you understand back when we broke up?
Why won't you just let me go?
You said yourself that our paths might cross again.
Oh God, Jasmin, because I didn't want to be an asshole.
I just said something nice.
Even a kid knows that's not meant seriously.
I just wanted to get away at the time. I was so self-absorbed.
We'd been together a year or two, and you propose to me?
What did you expect? Of course I wanted out.
Be glad I ran away, because honestly...
I don't even know if I ever really loved you.
Man, Jasmin...
There's no destiny.
There's just you and me.
And I'm... going to get some coffee now.
Nice day, isn't it?
They found your luggage in the trash. Just outside the town.
Money is probably gone. But your passports are there.
We have to write a report, okay? I'll be back in ten minutes.
Woah, it stinks.
No one can wear this anymore.
Do your clothes smell this bad?
Say something!
-I've nothing to say. -You were yapping before.
-When someone's deaf, you shout. -You always think you know better.
-But you aren't in this with me. -I know, someone else is.
What the fuck with that phone call? "I'm Philipp, I have cancer..."
-Tim thinks I'm a psycho! -He doesn't just think that, he knows it.
Fuck you, Gina, you're just scared you'll be the last one to stay single.
You're the one dreaming about waiting rooms, not me.
Shall I tell you why you're single?
You're a fucking know-it-all.
And you're always too loud. You're just always too loud.
Sometimes when I'm out with you, I feel ashamed
because you just start singing or screeching out of nowhere.
And when you talk to men, you start screaming because you have nothing to say.
And then people think we're from another planet.
And every time I'm out with you, people think I'm a psycho like you!
I mean, you don't have to talk if you don't want to.
Are you seriously blaming me for the fact that you're still single?
Want me to tell you why you're still single?
You dance to everyone else's tune.
You value other people's opinions more than your own, or those of your friends.
You only live for others.
You can't deal with yourself. You have no idea who you are.
That's why you don't know what you want.
You think you want a partner?
Actually, you're just afraid of what others will say about you
if you're still single at 40.
I may be from another planet, but at least I know who I am.
And I'm proud of it.
Ms. Ziegler?
So what do you think?
Great. Fits much better around the waist now too.
I'll bring you another little gift. Can I give you this for now?
-Thank you. Sweetie, can you take it? -Sure, sure.
Do you need any help?
No, I'll be fine.
-No, I mean with the preparations. -Oh. No, everything's going well.
I even had the place cards printed.
-You had them printed? -Yes, why?
I'm sorry about that...
I thought you were writing them by hand.
Oh, I used a font that looks exactly the same.
Yeah, but no, you can see it...
I'm really sorry.
Okay, I'll write them by hand.
After all, there's a reason why you chose me as maid of honor.
One more thing.
Our wedding photographer got sick and canceled.
And guess who he suggested?
Tim.
Did you know he's a wedding photographer?
Yes, he is. A pretty good one.
Better than the other one, so I'm happy the other one canceled.
Anyway, I said I'd ask you first if it's okay with you, because...
Oh, that. Of course it's okay.
That was ages ago.
I know, I thought so too, but I just wanted to ask you first.
Thank you. That's nice of you.
I'm back.
This is a garter as a gift from the shop.
-Thank you. -I wish you a heavenly wedding.
I think that's enough for now.
-You look beautiful. -Thank you.
-Hey, how is it going? -Everything's fine.
Jasmin, can I leave the stroller here?
Dear bride and groom.
You're surrounded by those close to you.
By your friends and family.
And God, Our Lord, who from above...
Wow, this looks nice.
I'm really proud of you.
Can you open the bottle for me, please?
Where's your husband?
Shut up.
Oh, this would be me here. Hello.
I'm Lukas. Don't tell me your name. I think I can guess it.
Jasmin.
Cool, it's a pleasure, Jasmin. Hello.
Right...
And did you like the priest's speech?
I'm not religious or anything.
I mean, I'm baptized, but not confirmed.
But there's something special about a priest, don't you think?
A priest like that, with all those robes. It does something to you, doesn't it?
Have you ever been to the Vatican? They have this metal chain.
And there's a troop of carabinieri guarding the holy city.
-It's this kind... -Sorry, I'll be right back.
I'll wait here, okay?
Ever been to the Vatican?
Did you block me on WhatsApp?
You can't block me on WhatsApp...
-Hey, are you okay? -Yes.
Jasmin, I need to warm up Noah's baby food.
I'm looking for a socket for the baby food warmer.
-You can give me that, I'll do it. -Thanks.
Have you met Gina's boyfriend yet? She won't show me a photo.
-Gina's boyfriend? -Yes, Helena told me.
I'm totally happy for her. What kind of guy is he?
-He's nice. He's very, very nice. -I see... And what does he do?
He's a... He...
I have to... I need to warm up the baby food.
I remember when you were four years old.
Back then, we still lived in Hanover.
And you told your mother
that when you grew up you'd marry Daddy.
I'm glad you found someone better than your father.
The first time I met Matte,
I thought, "What a show-off." He drove up in a...
Next picture, please.
Fuck.
Sorry. I think I have to reboot.
Do you like listening to podcasts too?
I heard one about sea cucumbers.
-They're totally fascinating... -Sorry, I have to set up a wedding game.
-Can I help you? -Not really.
Thanks.
I have to get in that box.
I'll be gone in a minute.
Jasmin...
Listen, what I said in Ibiza. I didn't mean it.
- I feel really shitty... -No, it was my fault. Sorry about that.
Okay.
How are your wedding preparations going?
Well...
We've postponed the topic for now.
Next year, maybe.
What?
Wow.
I really am a complete idiot.
All this time I thought it was my fault.
I chased you away, I screwed up, I was out of line.
I really thought that I was the problem.
It never even occurred to me that maybe you were the problem.
You know,
some miss out on their whole life because they're afraid of missing out.
If I were you, I'd marry her.
I have to take the sunset picture now. So...
Three, two, one, go! Fantastic.
And now, tilt your head back.
No, the bride, the bride... Just the bride, Matte.
Yes, yes, yes, very nice.
Very, very good. Okay. Very nice. Very, very...
Now it's time for the first wedding game.
If anyone's seen the maid of honor,
tell her she's needed here.
Hey, how's it going?
I have a full diaper here and need to get rid of it.
Do you know the best place?
-Are you all right? -Never better.
Be careful, it's full to the brim.
Good. I am too.
Quiet. Hello?
Quiet!
We're going to play a nice game.
Everybody find a partner and come to the center, okay?
For this game you need a partner.
All couples, please come forward.
Come on, join in. Otherwise there's no point at all.
Everyone take a balloon and put it between your heads.
Then music starts and if it falls down while dancing,
you lose and have to leave the dance floor.
DJ.
Watch it!
-What are you doing? -Sitting here.
You can't just sit there. Where's your partner?
I don't have one.
What? You don't have a partner?
If you don't have a partner, you can't play.
Then you have to sit here alone forever and wait.
And wait and wait and wait
and wait until you start to go moldy, like fruit.
Do you want that? Do you want to stink like fruit?
-Hey, how's it going? -Don't touch me!
You can't sit here alone.
If you sit here alone, people will think you have no life
and you have nothing else to do.
And then you have to write place cards.
Did you notice that?
That all the place cards are handwritten?
Jasmin, what's wrong?
I've never seen you like this.
Give me the mike, please.
You don't know me like this. That's right. Because you don't know me at all.
-I have an announcement to make. -Jasmin, give me the mike, please.
Jasmin, calm down.
-The game's not over yet! -Jasmin!
Shit.
No, let me get by!
-Out of my way! -Jasmin!
Stop! Or you'll all get poop on your clothes.
No, no, no.
Stop. Back down.
Everything's fine. Everything's fine.
Let's all just calm down. Okay?
Quiet now. Let's not talk about singles and fruit anymore,
but about those who have found happiness.
To Helena and Matte.
Let's raise our glasses.
To Helena's 5,000-euro dress.
To your father, who wanted you to marry Sebastian.
No, don't take the glass away.
A toast to your happiness, to your marriage and to my frozen eggs...
Cheers.
Shit!
-Man! -Sorry.
-So, how's the marriage going? -Good.
Good, good, good. Very good.
71-2 for control center. Ambulance 1, Traumann, new assignment.
71-2 here...
Bleeding lip on Aubinger Strasse. Injured young woman. Drunk.
A wedding. Don't get too comfortable.
Roger that. We'll pick up our suits from the dry cleaners and then head out.
Jasmin.
-Are you her plus-one? Want to come? -No.
-Does anyone want to accompany her? -Yes, we'll come.
-Hi, Anna. -Hello.
Hey there, nice outfit. What kind of trouble did you get into?
I'm so sorry. I fucked up.
-No, you didn't. -Yes, I did. It was so embarrassing.
You're the best maid of honor, Jasmin. And your speech was pretty great too.
It was really, really great.
What a speech.
-Personally, I liked the fruit part. -It's not bad.
But I can only stop the bleeding. A doctor will see if you need stitches.
Speaking of fruit, Django, do you have any food in here?
I'm hungry too.
Pst!
Pssst!
Stefan, what are you doing here?
-She just went to the bathroom. -Who?
-The woman. -What woman?
My date.
How's it going?
She's been talking about her husband for half an hour.
-Is she divorced? -Happily married.
Is she crazy?
I think so.
-I need help. -Well, I did come in an ambulance.
Look what I found.
-Hey, hey. -Hey, there.
-How are you? Okay? -Yes.
Hi.
Simon already told me. I brought something with me.
I think she needs something stronger. Jasmin.
This is for coma patients, but it'll do you good.
This is really good stuff, if I say so myself.
Not like your fucking turmeric pills on Ibiza.
Turmeric pills?
Turmeric? Are you fucking with me?
-I'm allergic to turmeric, you know. -I know, I know.
No, I can't laugh about it. I don't find it funny.
-We've got a bleeding lip here. -Wait. This won't work.
-What? -There are way too many of you.
-One can accompany her. Who's her partner? -Me.
I'll go in with her.
Hm?
Is this okay?
Does that hurt a lot?
Sorry.
Pain Killers... kicking...
I don't understand a word.
The pain killers are kicking in.
-Did you really freeze your eggs? -Yes.
Yes?
Mmh.
All good so far.
Schwabing Nord. Okay.
Mmh.
I do too.
I have something to tell you.
-What's his name? -Martin.
Is he nice?
Yes.
But he bakes his own bread.
Is he a hottie?
He'll pick us up later. You'll see him then.
Are you still mad at me?
Well, one thing really annoys me.
What?
That even with a bloody lip, you look so outrageously pretty.
You know what's funny?
I've been missing Philipp.
I'm starting to think a dream man like that isn't so bad.
He was the first one to love me the way I am.
Too bad he died of cancer...
-Can't you be my Philipp again? -Honey...
I'll love you forever. But only you can be your Philipp.
He's over there.
-Hello. -Hello.
-Martin. -Jasmin. Pleased to meet you.
Me too.
You look nice.
Thanks.
Right.
You know what? I think I'd rather walk.
It's only a 15-minute walk.
No way, we'll give you a ride.
Honestly, the fresh air is doing me good, and I'm sure the walking will too.
-Are you sure you're okay? -Everything's fine, don't worry.
But text me when you get home, okay?
I think he's a hottie.
Hi.
Did I startle you?
No.
Did you just come from a party too?
Yes. You too?
Yes.
And now? Going home?
Honestly, I don't know where I'm going.
-Don't you have to go this way? -Not really.
Haven't we met some place before?
I don't think so.
I'm Jasmin, by the way.
That's a beautiful name.
What's your name?
Philipp.
What's so funny?
Nothing.
Nothing's funny at all.