1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:04,237 --> 00:00:18,184 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:18,251 --> 00:00:32,165 ♪ ♪ 5 00:00:32,232 --> 00:00:43,910 ♪ ♪ 6 00:00:43,977 --> 00:00:59,058 ♪ ♪ 7 00:00:59,125 --> 00:01:14,107 ♪ ♪ 8 00:01:14,174 --> 00:01:31,925 ♪ ♪ 9 00:01:31,991 --> 00:01:44,871 ♪ ♪ 10 00:01:44,938 --> 00:02:02,889 ♪ ♪ 11 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:45,131 ♪ ♪ 12 00:02:45,198 --> 00:03:01,614 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 13 00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:03,483 >> Jerrod: I'M HAPPY YOU'RE 14 00:03:03,550 --> 00:03:04,117 HERE. 15 00:03:04,183 --> 00:03:06,286 I HAVE SO MUCH TO TELL YOU. 16 00:03:06,352 --> 00:03:10,256 ARE YOU COMFORTABLE? 17 00:03:10,323 --> 00:03:13,159 I WANT YOU GUYS TO FEEL LIKE 18 00:03:13,226 --> 00:03:14,027 FAMILY. 19 00:03:14,093 --> 00:03:15,028 I KNOW THAT CAMERAS ARE HERE, 20 00:03:15,094 --> 00:03:15,595 AND IT IS A WHOLE THING. 21 00:03:15,662 --> 00:03:16,262 IT IS A BIG NIGHT. 22 00:03:16,329 --> 00:03:17,096 A LOT OF PRESSURE. 23 00:03:17,163 --> 00:03:20,366 THAT KIND OF THING. 24 00:03:20,433 --> 00:03:24,704 I WANT YOU TO BE COMFORTABLE. 25 00:03:24,771 --> 00:03:25,872 I'M HAPPY YOU'RE HERE. 26 00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:33,813 I NEED YOU. 27 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:34,814 I HAVE -- I WANT TO TALK ABOUT 28 00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:35,048 SECRETS. 29 00:03:35,114 --> 00:03:37,383 SECRETS. 30 00:03:37,450 --> 00:03:38,484 I SHOULD WHISPER IT, RIGHT? 31 00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:39,319 I HAVE CARRIED A LOT OF SECRETS 32 00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:43,489 MY WHOLE LIFE. 33 00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:46,359 I FEEL LIKE I WAS BURDENED INTO 34 00:03:46,426 --> 00:03:48,194 THEM. 35 00:03:48,261 --> 00:03:49,062 ONE OF MY BIGGEST, ONE OF MY 36 00:03:49,128 --> 00:03:52,165 LAST HELD SECRETS IS MY NAME. 37 00:03:52,231 --> 00:03:56,269 MY NAME IS NOT JERROD. 38 00:03:56,336 --> 00:04:02,342 WELCOME TO THE SHOW, EVERYBODY. 39 00:04:02,408 --> 00:04:06,379 JERROD IS MY MIDDLE NAME. 40 00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:09,816 I WAS GIVEN THE NAME JERROD, MY 41 00:04:09,882 --> 00:04:12,952 BROTHER, JOE, IS LIKE SEVEN 42 00:04:13,019 --> 00:04:16,689 YEARS OLDER THAN ME. 43 00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:18,691 JUST TRUSTED A KID TO NAME A 44 00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:19,626 KID, BUT WHATEVER. 45 00:04:19,692 --> 00:04:20,593 I'M THANKFUL FOR THAT. 46 00:04:20,660 --> 00:04:21,427 WITHOUT HIM, I WOULD HAVE TO GO 47 00:04:21,494 --> 00:04:23,363 BY MY REAL NAME, MY FIRST NAME. 48 00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:24,897 WHICH WE DON'T TALK ABOUT IT. 49 00:04:24,964 --> 00:04:25,865 IT'S NOT GOOD. 50 00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:27,300 IT'S NOT GOOD. 51 00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:30,036 I DON'T LIKE IT. 52 00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,471 I'VE ALWAYS HATED THAT NAME. 53 00:04:31,537 --> 00:04:32,238 NO ONE CALLS ME THAT EXCEPT FOR 54 00:04:32,305 --> 00:04:40,546 MY MOM. 55 00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:42,682 MY DAD NAMED ME -- HE COMBINED 56 00:04:42,749 --> 00:04:44,517 HIS DAD'S FIRST NAME AND MY 57 00:04:44,584 --> 00:04:47,754 MOM'S DAD'S FIRST NAME. 58 00:04:47,820 --> 00:04:53,893 AND MUSHED THEM TOGETHER. 59 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,628 NOT TO MAKE SOME ELEGANT LIKE 60 00:04:55,695 --> 00:04:56,262 WILLIAM EDWARD OR SOMETHING LIKE 61 00:04:56,329 --> 00:04:59,032 THAT. 62 00:04:59,098 --> 00:05:06,472 IT'S MORE LIKE TOYOTATHON. 63 00:05:06,539 --> 00:05:10,877 I HATE THAT NAME. 64 00:05:10,943 --> 00:05:13,079 I HAVE HIDDEN IT MY WHOLE LIFE. 65 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,180 I USED TO GET IT REMOVED FROM 66 00:05:14,247 --> 00:05:14,714 THE YEARBOOK EVERY YEAR IN 67 00:05:14,781 --> 00:05:21,721 HIGH SCHOOL. 68 00:05:21,788 --> 00:05:22,689 I WOULD DRIVE SOMEBODY. 69 00:05:22,755 --> 00:05:23,690 IT WOULD COST ME $20. 70 00:05:23,756 --> 00:05:24,590 I WOULD HAVE MY FIRST NAME TAKEN 71 00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:25,091 OUT OF IT. 72 00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:25,825 I NEVER LET PEOPLE SEE MY 73 00:05:25,892 --> 00:05:26,626 DRIVER'S LICENSE. 74 00:05:26,693 --> 00:05:27,360 MY BANK CARDS. 75 00:05:27,427 --> 00:05:30,697 I'VE ALWAYS BEEN ASHAMED OF IT. 76 00:05:30,763 --> 00:05:31,431 I'VE ALWAYS HIDDEN IT. 77 00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:33,232 AND IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE IT'S A 78 00:05:33,299 --> 00:05:33,933 NAME GIVEN TO ME TO HONOR TWO 79 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:40,273 PEOPLE. 80 00:05:40,339 --> 00:05:42,175 RIGHT? 81 00:05:42,241 --> 00:05:45,945 IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE THIS GIFT 82 00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:46,779 TO BOTH OF MY GRANDDADS. 83 00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:50,116 AND IT ALMOST SEEMED KIND OF 84 00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,317 FUCKED UP THAT I HIDE THAT, TUCK 85 00:05:51,384 --> 00:05:54,987 IT AWAY, BUT THAT'S BECAUSE YOU 86 00:05:55,054 --> 00:05:59,859 DON'T KNOW MY GRANDFATHERS. 87 00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:00,893 IF YOU KNEW THEM, YOU WOULD KNOW 88 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:01,561 KEEPING A SECRET IS THE ONLY WAY 89 00:06:01,627 --> 00:06:04,097 TO HONOR THEM. 90 00:06:04,163 --> 00:06:07,834 LIKE THAT IS WHO THEY WERE. 91 00:06:07,900 --> 00:06:12,505 THE GRANDDADS, I AM NAMED AFTER 92 00:06:12,572 --> 00:06:16,242 TWO MEN WHO MOSTLY, MOST OF 93 00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:19,345 THEIR LIVES, MOST OF THEIR SEX 94 00:06:19,412 --> 00:06:21,681 LIVES AT LEAST WERE SECRETS. 95 00:06:21,748 --> 00:06:25,685 MY MOM'S DAD HAD FOUR KIDS WITH 96 00:06:25,752 --> 00:06:28,955 MY MOM'S MOM, HIS WIFE, AND FOUR 97 00:06:29,021 --> 00:06:34,193 KIDS OUTSIDE OF THE MARRIAGE. 98 00:06:34,260 --> 00:06:38,331 JUST KIND OF SCATTERED ABOUT. 99 00:06:38,397 --> 00:06:39,599 MY DAD'S DAD HAD FIVE KIDS WITH 100 00:06:39,665 --> 00:06:45,104 HIS WIFE. 101 00:06:45,171 --> 00:06:48,007 AND ABOUT 23 OUTSIDE OF THE 102 00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:51,944 MARRIAGE. 103 00:06:52,011 --> 00:06:53,479 YEAH. 104 00:06:53,546 --> 00:06:54,814 I COME FROM A LONG LINE OF COOL 105 00:06:54,881 --> 00:06:59,719 NIGGAS. 106 00:06:59,786 --> 00:07:00,853 23. 107 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:06,192 23. 108 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:10,463 THERE IN SOUTH CAROLINA. 109 00:07:10,530 --> 00:07:11,764 JIM IS HIS NAME. 110 00:07:11,831 --> 00:07:12,431 WE DON'T HAVE THE SAME LAST NAME 111 00:07:12,498 --> 00:07:13,032 BECAUSE MY DAD WAS AN OUTSIDE 112 00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:13,199 KID. 113 00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:13,533 YEAH. 114 00:07:13,599 --> 00:07:14,367 YEAH. 115 00:07:14,433 --> 00:07:14,834 YEAH. 116 00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:15,668 YEAH. 117 00:07:15,735 --> 00:07:21,040 THERE'S NO EASY WAY TO SAY IT. 118 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:26,913 THOUGHT YOUR GRANDMA WAS A SIDE 119 00:07:26,979 --> 00:07:27,246 PIECE. 120 00:07:27,313 --> 00:07:28,414 I AM GOING TO TELL YOU A LITTLE 121 00:07:28,481 --> 00:07:32,585 SOMETHING ELSE. 122 00:07:32,652 --> 00:07:36,856 HE WAS FUCKING MARRIED. 123 00:07:36,923 --> 00:07:42,962 MY GRANDFATHER HAD THREE KIDS -- 124 00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:47,166 MY UNCLE PETE, MY DAD, AND HIS 125 00:07:47,233 --> 00:07:50,703 AND MY AUNT. 126 00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:52,572 HIS WIFE FOUND OUT AND 127 00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:54,073 CONFRONTED MY GRANDMA ABOUT IT. 128 00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:54,607 I LIKE TO THINK IT WAS 129 00:07:54,674 --> 00:07:55,374 UNCOMFORTABLE. 130 00:07:55,441 --> 00:07:56,642 BUT SHE CONFRONTED MY GRANDMA 131 00:07:56,709 --> 00:08:04,684 AND DEMANDED THAT SHE STOP 132 00:08:04,750 --> 00:08:10,957 SLEEPING WITH HER MAN. 133 00:08:11,023 --> 00:08:11,991 AND MY GRANDMA FUCKED HIM AGAIN. 134 00:08:12,058 --> 00:08:12,892 PROUD OF THAT, BY THE WAY. 135 00:08:12,959 --> 00:08:13,492 SHE WILL TELL EVERYBODY HER 136 00:08:13,559 --> 00:08:15,561 ORIGIN STORY. 137 00:08:15,628 --> 00:08:16,162 SHE SAID DON'T NOBODY TELL ME 138 00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:24,837 WHO TO SLEEP WITH. 139 00:08:24,904 --> 00:08:26,906 I'M THE SPITE BABY. 140 00:08:26,973 --> 00:08:27,773 BUT WE DON'T REALLY TALK ABOUT 141 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:28,507 IT. 142 00:08:28,574 --> 00:08:30,109 WE DON'T REALLY TALK ABOUT IT. 143 00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:31,978 MY DAD DOESN'T REALLY KNOW HIS 144 00:08:32,044 --> 00:08:35,915 DAD, BUT HE STILL FELT ENOUGH 145 00:08:35,982 --> 00:08:36,482 PRIDE TO, YOU KNOW, NAME ME 146 00:08:36,549 --> 00:08:44,357 AFTER HIM. 147 00:08:44,423 --> 00:08:49,762 MY MOM'S DAD WAS ALSO A CHEATER, 148 00:08:49,829 --> 00:08:50,529 BUT SHE LIVED IN THE HOUSE THAT 149 00:08:50,596 --> 00:08:51,397 HE WAS CHEATING FROM. 150 00:08:51,464 --> 00:08:52,198 YOU KNOW. 151 00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:53,733 AND SO WHEN YOU ARE THAT FAMILY, 152 00:08:53,799 --> 00:09:00,840 YOU LEARN NOT TO SAY SHIT. 153 00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:02,508 YOU KNOW. 154 00:09:02,575 --> 00:09:04,277 MY MOM, I GUESS, LEARNED FROM 155 00:09:04,343 --> 00:09:05,711 HER MOM. 156 00:09:05,778 --> 00:09:06,445 I'M TRYING TO PAINT A PICTURE OF 157 00:09:06,512 --> 00:09:15,087 A WORLD BEFORE DESTINY'S CHILD. 158 00:09:15,154 --> 00:09:15,821 WHERE, YOU KNOW, WOMEN GOT 159 00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:17,056 CHEATED ON. 160 00:09:17,123 --> 00:09:24,397 IT DID NOT PLAY OUT LIKE A TERRY 161 00:09:24,463 --> 00:09:28,000 McMILLAN NOVEL. 162 00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:28,868 IT WAS MUCH MORE QUIET THAN 163 00:09:28,935 --> 00:09:29,502 THAT. 164 00:09:29,568 --> 00:09:30,236 THEY JUST KIND OF EXISTED WITH 165 00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:31,003 THE SECRET. 166 00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:33,039 THEY KNEW, BUT THEY DIDN'T KNOW. 167 00:09:33,105 --> 00:09:34,106 IT'S WEIRD. 168 00:09:34,173 --> 00:09:36,242 AND IT'S LIKE GENERATIONS OF THE 169 00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:37,343 FEW GENERATIONS OF JUST SEEING 170 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:43,816 THINGS, NOT SEEING THINGS. 171 00:09:43,883 --> 00:09:53,659 I SAW MY PARENTS' SEX TAPE. 172 00:09:53,726 --> 00:09:55,761 I WAS ABOUT 12 YEARS OLD. 173 00:09:55,828 --> 00:10:02,702 I CAME HOME FROM SCHOOL EARLY. 174 00:10:02,768 --> 00:10:04,003 I WOULD WATCH -- LIKE MY DAD OR 175 00:10:04,070 --> 00:10:04,603 BROTHER, THEY MIGHT HAVE HAD A 176 00:10:04,670 --> 00:10:08,007 PORN STASH. 177 00:10:08,074 --> 00:10:12,745 THIS WAS THE '90s. 178 00:10:12,812 --> 00:10:18,317 HE HAD HIS TAPES IN A NIKE BOX 179 00:10:18,384 --> 00:10:19,318 IN THE BEDROOM CLOSET ON THE TOP 180 00:10:19,385 --> 00:10:22,455 SHELF. 181 00:10:22,521 --> 00:10:23,155 BESIDE A GUN AND A JAR OF 182 00:10:23,222 --> 00:10:24,423 NIPPLES. 183 00:10:24,490 --> 00:10:25,057 AND I REMEMBER PUTTING THIS TAPE 184 00:10:25,124 --> 00:10:28,127 IN. 185 00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:31,197 IT WAS ABOUT 15 SECONDS BEFORE I 186 00:10:31,263 --> 00:10:44,310 STARTED RECOGNIZING THE BEDROOM. 187 00:10:44,377 --> 00:10:45,144 THOSE SHEETS GOT LEMONS ON THEM. 188 00:10:45,211 --> 00:10:45,778 BUT THAT'S THE THING. 189 00:10:45,845 --> 00:10:46,445 I NEVER TOLD MY FAMILY. 190 00:10:46,512 --> 00:10:47,213 I NEVER TOLD MY PARENTS THAT I 191 00:10:47,279 --> 00:10:50,783 HAD SEEN THAT. 192 00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:54,453 IT'S ODD BECAUSE IT'S ONE OF 193 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:55,054 THOSE THINGS, YOU CAN'T TALK 194 00:10:55,121 --> 00:10:55,721 ABOUT SEX WITH YOUR 195 00:10:55,788 --> 00:10:56,422 PARENTS. 196 00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:57,390 NOT THAT ANYBODY REALLY WANTS 197 00:10:57,456 --> 00:10:58,324 TO, BUT YOU JUST CAN'T. 198 00:10:58,391 --> 00:10:59,392 YOU ARE ONLY HERE BECAUSE YOUR 199 00:10:59,458 --> 00:11:03,062 PARENTS FUCKED. 200 00:11:03,129 --> 00:11:05,931 YOUR DAD CAME IN YOUR MOM. 201 00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:10,703 AND YOU'RE HERE. 202 00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:11,604 YOU'RE EVER WATCHING A MOVIE 203 00:11:11,670 --> 00:11:12,772 WITH YOUR PARENTS AND LIKE A SEX 204 00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:22,515 SCENE CAME ON. 205 00:11:22,581 --> 00:11:23,349 YOU JUST GOTTA BE LIKE... 206 00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:24,016 THINGS THAT EXIST BUT DON'T 207 00:11:24,083 --> 00:11:27,987 EXIST. 208 00:11:28,054 --> 00:11:28,921 IT'S THINGS THAT ARE LIKE RIGHT 209 00:11:28,988 --> 00:11:39,665 THERE HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT. 210 00:11:39,732 --> 00:11:43,936 MY FATHER HAD ME AND MY BROTHER. 211 00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:49,608 WITH MY MOM. 212 00:11:49,675 --> 00:11:55,648 AND HE HAD THE FOUR KIDS. 213 00:11:55,714 --> 00:11:59,785 WITH BITCH NEIGHBOR, ANITA. 214 00:11:59,852 --> 00:12:04,056 IT'S NOT THAT I HATE HER NAME. 215 00:12:04,123 --> 00:12:05,458 BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE A VILLAIN IN 216 00:12:05,524 --> 00:12:09,361 A TYLER PEARY MOVIE. 217 00:12:09,428 --> 00:12:10,062 OTHER KIDS, HE HAD OTHER KIDS. 218 00:12:10,129 --> 00:12:10,896 MY DAD WAS REALLY OUT THERE, 219 00:12:10,963 --> 00:12:15,234 MAN. 220 00:12:15,301 --> 00:12:16,135 HE WAS REALLY, REALLY OUT THERE. 221 00:12:16,202 --> 00:12:16,769 AND I KNEW ABOUT IT SINCE I WAS 222 00:12:16,836 --> 00:12:17,303 A KID. 223 00:12:17,369 --> 00:12:20,573 IT WAS A SMALL TOWN. 224 00:12:20,639 --> 00:12:22,475 IT IS A SECRET THAT HE THOUGHT 225 00:12:22,541 --> 00:12:25,478 HE WAS KEEPING FROM THE FAMILY. 226 00:12:25,544 --> 00:12:26,178 HE THOUGHT HE WAS DOING A 227 00:12:26,245 --> 00:12:31,117 GOOD JOB OF KEEPING THE SECRET. 228 00:12:31,183 --> 00:12:31,717 BUT I FOUND OUT. 229 00:12:31,784 --> 00:12:32,751 I NEVER TOLD HIM. 230 00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:33,619 I DID NOT TELL HIM. 231 00:12:33,686 --> 00:12:35,387 MY BROTHER FOUND OUT. 232 00:12:35,454 --> 00:12:36,889 HE DID NOT TELL HIM. 233 00:12:36,956 --> 00:12:39,792 IT'S FUNNY TO LIVE IN A HOUSE 234 00:12:39,859 --> 00:12:41,393 WITH SOMEONE KNOWING WHO THEY 235 00:12:41,460 --> 00:12:43,129 ARE, KNOWING THAT THEY ARE 236 00:12:43,195 --> 00:12:45,197 CHEATING ON YOUR MOM, AND NOT 237 00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:48,667 SAYING ANYTHING TO HIM. 238 00:12:48,734 --> 00:12:50,903 HE USED TO GO OUT ON FRIDAY 239 00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:51,470 NIGHTS, SAY HE WAS GOING TO 240 00:12:51,537 --> 00:12:52,671 WORK. 241 00:12:52,738 --> 00:12:55,441 MY DAD WAS A TRUCK DRIVER. 242 00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:59,311 WHICH, BY THE WAY, IF YOU HAVE 243 00:12:59,378 --> 00:12:59,945 CHEATED ON YOUR WIFE AND YOU ARE 244 00:13:00,012 --> 00:13:08,787 LOOKING FOR A PROFESSION... 245 00:13:08,854 --> 00:13:09,622 WITH BLACKOUT DATES, GET YOUR 246 00:13:09,688 --> 00:13:11,891 CDL AND HIT THE ROAD. 247 00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:17,663 I WOULD REALLY RECOMMEND IT. 248 00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:19,331 HE WENT -- HE WOULD SAY HE WAS 249 00:13:19,398 --> 00:13:20,366 GOING TO A SECOND JOB ON FRIDAY 250 00:13:20,432 --> 00:13:33,012 NIGHTS. 251 00:13:33,078 --> 00:13:33,846 BUT LIKE HE WOULD GET DRESSED 252 00:13:33,913 --> 00:13:34,747 UP. 253 00:13:34,813 --> 00:13:36,682 AND I MEAN DRESSED I LIKE 254 00:13:36,749 --> 00:13:37,416 NORTH CAROLINA DAD STANDARDS. 255 00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:38,350 HE WOULD SAY HE WAS GOING TO 256 00:13:38,417 --> 00:13:39,318 WORK. 257 00:13:39,385 --> 00:13:42,555 WITH COLOGNE ON. 258 00:13:42,621 --> 00:13:44,223 YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING? 259 00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:48,460 HE WAS LIKE A LIAR. 260 00:13:48,527 --> 00:13:49,528 AND IT WOULD JUST LEAVE ME AS A 261 00:13:49,595 --> 00:13:51,330 KID, KNOWING -- IT'S WEIRD. 262 00:13:51,397 --> 00:13:51,931 IT'S WEIRD TO KNOW IT. 263 00:13:51,997 --> 00:13:53,599 TO KNOW. 264 00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:56,001 TO REALLY, REALLY KNOW. 265 00:13:56,068 --> 00:13:59,872 AND NOT SAY ANYTHING. 266 00:13:59,939 --> 00:14:01,340 I WAS SCARED. 267 00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:04,777 I DID NOT KNOW WHAT TO SAY. 268 00:14:04,843 --> 00:14:05,411 I DON'T KNOW WHAT I COULD HAVE 269 00:14:05,477 --> 00:14:08,714 DONE. 270 00:14:08,781 --> 00:14:09,815 I DON'T KNOW IF I WOULD HAVE 271 00:14:09,882 --> 00:14:13,118 SAID ANYTHING IF I HAD BEEN 272 00:14:13,185 --> 00:14:14,253 ENCOURAGED. 273 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:18,090 BECAUSE I ONLY SAW THE SECRET IS 274 00:14:18,157 --> 00:14:19,525 SOMETHING THAT COULD HAVE TORN 275 00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:22,995 OUR FAMILY APART. 276 00:14:23,062 --> 00:14:24,530 IF MY MOTHER FOUND OUT, I 277 00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:26,865 THOUGHT IT WOULD BE OVER. 278 00:14:26,932 --> 00:14:27,633 HE WAS FUCKING MY HOMEBOY TJ'S 279 00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:31,637 AUNT. 280 00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:32,905 THAT WAS THE STORY TJ TOLD ME 281 00:14:32,972 --> 00:14:38,377 ABOUT. 282 00:14:38,444 --> 00:14:42,615 TJ, HE DID NOT WANT TO SNITCH. 283 00:14:42,681 --> 00:14:43,182 YOU'RE IN THE HOOD. 284 00:14:43,249 --> 00:14:43,782 YOU KNOW. 285 00:14:43,849 --> 00:14:47,987 I DID NOT WANT TO SNITCH. 286 00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:48,587 HE TOLD ME. 287 00:14:48,654 --> 00:14:50,990 HE WAS LIKE MAN, I CAME HOME 288 00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:56,195 FROM SCHOOL THE OTHER DAY. 289 00:14:56,262 --> 00:14:59,565 I WENT TO MY AUNT'S HOUSE. 290 00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:00,232 YOUR PAPA WAS JUST THERE ON THE 291 00:15:00,299 --> 00:15:00,633 COUCH. 292 00:15:00,699 --> 00:15:06,438 WHAT? 293 00:15:06,505 --> 00:15:07,006 YEAH, YEAH. 294 00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:07,573 HE SAW MY DAD SITTING ON THE 295 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:08,040 COUCH. 296 00:15:08,107 --> 00:15:08,540 HE WALKS IN. 297 00:15:08,607 --> 00:15:09,508 HE IS EXCITED TO SEE MY DAD. 298 00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:12,811 HE KNOWS MY DAD VERY WELL. 299 00:15:12,878 --> 00:15:16,382 THEY PLAY "MADDEN" TOGETHER. 300 00:15:16,448 --> 00:15:19,351 HE KNOWS HIM. 301 00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:21,487 HE'S LIKE MR. CARMICHAEL, WHAT 302 00:15:21,553 --> 00:15:22,054 ARE YOU DOING HERE? 303 00:15:22,121 --> 00:15:22,821 MY DAD, BEING CAUGHT, UNDER 304 00:15:22,888 --> 00:15:25,424 PRESSURE, YOU KNOW WHAT HE DID? 305 00:15:25,491 --> 00:15:26,292 HE JUST SQUINTED HIS EYES AND 306 00:15:26,358 --> 00:15:38,570 PRETENDED HE WAS SOMEBODY ELSE. 307 00:15:38,637 --> 00:15:39,405 HE GOT HIS SHIT AND GOT THE FUCK 308 00:15:39,471 --> 00:15:50,549 OUT OF THERE. 309 00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:51,317 AND TJ WAS THERE WITH HIS AUNT. 310 00:15:51,383 --> 00:15:51,917 HE SAID DO YOU KNOW WHO THAT 311 00:15:51,984 --> 00:15:52,184 WAS? 312 00:15:52,251 --> 00:15:52,851 THAT'S MY BEST FRIEND'S DAD. 313 00:15:52,918 --> 00:15:55,454 THAT'S JOE CARMICHAEL. 314 00:15:55,521 --> 00:16:01,493 AND SHE SAID "JOE CARMICHAEL?" 315 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:02,094 HE TOLD ME HIS NAME WAS JERRY 316 00:16:02,161 --> 00:16:17,843 RICE. 317 00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:20,145 HE SAID HIS NAME WAS 318 00:16:20,212 --> 00:16:22,648 HALL OF FAMER, WIDE RECEIVER. 319 00:16:22,715 --> 00:16:23,315 DO YOU KNOW HOW ABSURD THAT IS? 320 00:16:23,382 --> 00:16:23,882 I GOT SO MANY QUESTIONS. 321 00:16:23,949 --> 00:16:24,550 TJ WON'T TALK ABOUT IT. 322 00:16:24,616 --> 00:16:26,752 DID YOU ACT SURPRISED? 323 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:32,925 WHAT? 324 00:16:32,991 --> 00:16:33,759 THERE IS ANOTHER JERRY RICE? 325 00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:34,460 LIKE WAS IT ALL A PART OF THE 326 00:16:34,526 --> 00:16:34,860 GAME? 327 00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:35,694 DID HE GO MY NAME IS JERRY RICE, 328 00:16:35,761 --> 00:16:47,840 I KNOW, I KNOW. 329 00:16:47,906 --> 00:16:50,442 HE IS A WILD MAN. 330 00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:50,876 REALLY OUT THERE. 331 00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:54,046 REALLY, REALLY OUT THERE. 332 00:16:54,113 --> 00:16:54,513 JUST HOLDING IT IN. 333 00:16:54,580 --> 00:17:00,419 JUST HOLDING IT ALL IN. 334 00:17:00,486 --> 00:17:02,521 HE HAD DOUBLE OR TRIPLE BYPASS 335 00:17:02,588 --> 00:17:03,355 SURGERY. 336 00:17:03,422 --> 00:17:09,361 I GUESS THAT'S WHERE IT WENT. 337 00:17:09,428 --> 00:17:12,097 I'M PAYING FOR HIS HEALTH 338 00:17:12,164 --> 00:17:19,405 INSURANCE, OKAY? 339 00:17:19,471 --> 00:17:19,905 I MADE HIM TELL MY MOM. 340 00:17:19,972 --> 00:17:20,339 IT BECAME TOO MUCH. 341 00:17:20,406 --> 00:17:21,440 YOU KNOW. 342 00:17:21,507 --> 00:17:24,243 IT'S A SECRET THAT I THINK I WAS 343 00:17:24,309 --> 00:17:25,644 HAPPY KEEPING AS A CHILD BECAUSE 344 00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:26,345 I THOUGHT IT MADE SENSE WITH 345 00:17:26,412 --> 00:17:32,885 FAMILY. 346 00:17:32,951 --> 00:17:33,419 THOUGHT IT WAS EMBARRASSING, 347 00:17:33,485 --> 00:17:38,290 FIRST OF ALL. 348 00:17:38,357 --> 00:17:39,958 IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYONE KNEW 349 00:17:40,025 --> 00:17:40,492 BUT MY MOM. 350 00:17:40,559 --> 00:17:41,059 YOU KNOW. 351 00:17:41,126 --> 00:17:41,727 AND THAT'S REALLY TOUGH. 352 00:17:41,794 --> 00:17:42,795 BECAUSE MY MOM IS VERY SWEET, 353 00:17:42,861 --> 00:17:46,231 LOVING, TRUSTING. 354 00:17:46,298 --> 00:17:49,635 CHRISTIAN. 355 00:17:49,701 --> 00:17:50,803 GOD FEARING WOMAN, TRUSTING HER 356 00:17:50,869 --> 00:17:57,342 HUSBAND, STANDING BY HER MAN. 357 00:17:57,409 --> 00:18:00,879 MY DAD WAS JUST REALLY OUT THER 358 00:18:00,946 --> 00:18:05,117 THERE. 359 00:18:05,184 --> 00:18:09,888 I GOT REALLY DRUNK IN LONDON. 360 00:18:09,955 --> 00:18:10,589 AND I WAS LIKE THIS IS -- IT'S 361 00:18:10,656 --> 00:18:18,263 TIME. 362 00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:18,897 I'M GOING TO CONFRONT HIM ABOUT 363 00:18:18,964 --> 00:18:19,364 IT. 364 00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:23,368 AND IT'S HARD. 365 00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:25,404 HE'S A TOUGH MAN. 366 00:18:25,471 --> 00:18:30,776 HE KEPT A SAWED-OFF SHOTGUN IN 367 00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:31,477 THE CLOSET WITH A LOT OF PORN. 368 00:18:31,543 --> 00:18:32,144 IT'S NOT EASY. 369 00:18:32,211 --> 00:18:36,281 I WAS REALLY AFRAID. 370 00:18:36,348 --> 00:18:37,049 BUT I REMEMBER STARTING THE CALL 371 00:18:37,115 --> 00:18:38,083 SAYING LISTEN, THIS WILL ALL GO 372 00:18:38,150 --> 00:18:38,917 WELL AS LONG AS YOU DON'T LIE TO 373 00:18:38,984 --> 00:18:42,921 ME. 374 00:18:42,988 --> 00:18:45,991 AND I WAS JUST ALMOST IN TEARS, 375 00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:46,792 JUST SO EMOTIONAL. 376 00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:56,835 "I KNOW EVERYTHING, MAN." 377 00:18:56,902 --> 00:18:57,469 I KNOW ABOUT BERNITA AND THE 378 00:18:57,536 --> 00:18:58,804 KIDS. 379 00:18:58,871 --> 00:19:00,439 YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAID? 380 00:19:00,506 --> 00:19:01,139 HE ACTUALLY SAID "I ALWAYS KNEW 381 00:19:01,206 --> 00:19:14,853 YOU WOULD BE THE ONE." 382 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:16,021 SO I MADE HIM TELL MY MOM. 383 00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:17,456 HE WAITED UNTIL I WAS BACK HOME 384 00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:23,829 IN NORTH CAROLINA TO TELL HER. 385 00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:24,463 PUSSY. 386 00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:28,800 THAT'S THE PUSSY THING TO DO. 387 00:19:28,867 --> 00:19:35,941 HE NEEDED THE SUPPORT. 388 00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:36,842 HE WAITED UNTIL I WAS HOME. 389 00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:37,943 HIS BIG PLAN TO TELL MY MOM. 390 00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:44,950 I WILL TAKE HER OUT TO DINNER. 391 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:47,653 I'M GONNA STAY HOME. 392 00:19:47,719 --> 00:19:49,154 YOU BRING HER BACK FROM DINNER. 393 00:19:49,221 --> 00:19:51,256 DROP HER OFF. 394 00:19:51,323 --> 00:19:53,125 SHE COMES IN THE HOUSE, AND I'M 395 00:19:53,191 --> 00:19:59,231 GOING TO TELL HER, OKAY? 396 00:19:59,298 --> 00:20:01,867 LIKE HIDING. 397 00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:08,740 BUT I WENT ALONG WITH IT. 398 00:20:08,807 --> 00:20:11,410 THAT DINNER WAS THE WORST DINNER 399 00:20:11,476 --> 00:20:12,377 I HAVE EVER HAD IN MY ENTIRE 400 00:20:12,444 --> 00:20:13,812 LIFE. 401 00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:14,646 WE TOOK MY MOM TO A HIBACHI 402 00:20:14,713 --> 00:20:15,280 RESTAURANT. 403 00:20:15,347 --> 00:20:16,048 EARLIER THAT DAY, I HAD TAKEN MY 404 00:20:16,114 --> 00:20:16,615 NIECES TO SEE THE "TROLLS" 405 00:20:16,682 --> 00:20:22,854 MOVIE. 406 00:20:22,921 --> 00:20:25,357 MOVIES WITH MY NIECES, IT'S THE 407 00:20:25,424 --> 00:20:27,993 BEST. 408 00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:29,261 THEY'RE NOT MY KIDS, SO I CAN 409 00:20:29,328 --> 00:20:30,996 JUST GET HIGH AND DO FUN SHIT 410 00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,999 WITH THEM. 411 00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:39,905 I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE SEEN IT. 412 00:20:39,972 --> 00:20:46,044 THE PREMISE IS THAT THERE ARE 413 00:20:46,111 --> 00:20:46,712 SINGING AND ALL TYPES OF SHIT. 414 00:20:46,778 --> 00:20:47,813 SOMETHING DEVASTATING HAPPENS TO 415 00:20:47,879 --> 00:20:48,647 THEM. 416 00:20:48,714 --> 00:20:49,448 THEY LOSE ALL OF THEIR COLOR. 417 00:20:49,514 --> 00:20:51,149 AND I REMEMBER THINKING THAT THE 418 00:20:51,216 --> 00:20:52,618 WHOLE DINNER, LOOKING AT MY MOM, 419 00:20:52,684 --> 00:20:54,753 JUST LOOKING IN HER EYES, GOING 420 00:20:54,820 --> 00:20:58,357 SHE'S GOING TO LOSE HER COLOR. 421 00:20:58,423 --> 00:21:00,759 IT WAS REALLY, REALLY SCARY. 422 00:21:00,826 --> 00:21:01,927 MIND YOU, ALL THAT'S HAPPENING 423 00:21:01,994 --> 00:21:06,765 AT A HIBACHI GRILL. 424 00:21:06,832 --> 00:21:10,902 I'M LOOKING IN HER EYES, BUT 425 00:21:10,969 --> 00:21:14,873 THERE'S LIKE A FLAME. 426 00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:17,943 LIKE JUGGLING SALT-AND-PEPPER. 427 00:21:18,010 --> 00:21:20,278 OKAY, MY MOM IS ABOUT TO BE 428 00:21:20,345 --> 00:21:22,547 FUCKING DESTROYED, BUT GREAT 429 00:21:22,614 --> 00:21:26,251 TRICK. 430 00:21:26,318 --> 00:21:30,188 I GET MAD WHEN I DON'T GET A 431 00:21:30,255 --> 00:21:31,490 JAPANESE CHEF. 432 00:21:31,556 --> 00:21:35,160 SOMETIMES IT'S LIKE... 433 00:21:35,227 --> 00:21:37,963 NOT TOO MANY JAPANESE CHEF'S OUT 434 00:21:38,030 --> 00:21:45,737 THERE NORTH CAROLINA. 435 00:21:45,804 --> 00:21:48,573 I BROUGHT HER HOME. 436 00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:51,309 I DROPPED HER OFF. 437 00:21:51,376 --> 00:21:55,247 WENT TO MY BROTHERS HOUSE. 438 00:21:55,313 --> 00:21:58,417 AND WE WAITED BY THE PHONE. 439 00:21:58,483 --> 00:21:58,950 VERY, VERY ANXIOUSLY. 440 00:21:59,017 --> 00:22:01,019 ME AND MY BROTHER AND 441 00:22:01,086 --> 00:22:01,353 SISTER-IN-LAW. 442 00:22:01,420 --> 00:22:02,587 JUST WAITED. 443 00:22:02,654 --> 00:22:08,260 REALLY NERVOUS. 444 00:22:08,326 --> 00:22:13,699 AND THEN MY MOM CALLED. 445 00:22:13,765 --> 00:22:14,900 AND YOU COULD HEAR IN HER VOICE 446 00:22:14,966 --> 00:22:16,702 THAT SHE HAD BEEN CRYING. 447 00:22:16,768 --> 00:22:20,205 AND I WILL NEVER FORGET. 448 00:22:20,272 --> 00:22:22,708 SHE JUST SAID, HER FIRST WORDS 449 00:22:22,774 --> 00:22:23,041 WERE I'M OKAY. 450 00:22:23,108 --> 00:22:26,344 I'M OKAY. 451 00:22:26,411 --> 00:22:30,048 AND HE TOLD HER. 452 00:22:30,115 --> 00:22:30,615 BEGGED FOR HER FORGIVENESS. 453 00:22:30,682 --> 00:22:32,250 SHE FORGIVE HIM. 454 00:22:32,317 --> 00:22:38,690 SHE STAYED. 455 00:22:38,757 --> 00:22:42,394 KIND OF ANTICLIMACTIC. 456 00:22:42,461 --> 00:22:43,595 SHE ACTUALLY MADE HIM BREAKFAST 457 00:22:43,662 --> 00:22:44,029 THE NEXT MORNING. 458 00:22:44,096 --> 00:22:47,332 I WILL NEVER FORGET THAT FACT. 459 00:22:47,399 --> 00:22:50,635 MOSTLY BECAUSE IT IS AN 460 00:22:50,702 --> 00:22:52,003 EMBARRASSING FACT TO ADMIT, IT 461 00:22:52,070 --> 00:22:52,804 IS NOT HOW I THOUGHT THE STORY 462 00:22:52,871 --> 00:22:56,308 WOULD PLAY OUT. 463 00:22:56,374 --> 00:23:00,278 SOMEHOW WORSE. 464 00:23:00,345 --> 00:23:03,148 BUT IT WAS OUT IN THE OPEN. 465 00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:07,385 AND ONCE THAT WAS DONE, I WAS 466 00:23:07,452 --> 00:23:11,857 LEFT ALONE FEELING LIKE A LIAR. 467 00:23:11,923 --> 00:23:15,060 BECAUSE I HAD A SECRET. 468 00:23:15,127 --> 00:23:17,329 ONE THAT I HAD KEPT FROM MY 469 00:23:17,395 --> 00:23:17,996 MOTHER. 470 00:23:18,063 --> 00:23:18,263 MY FATHER. 471 00:23:18,330 --> 00:23:21,500 MY FAMILY. 472 00:23:21,566 --> 00:23:22,501 FRIENDS. 473 00:23:22,567 --> 00:23:28,140 FROM YOU. 474 00:23:28,206 --> 00:23:35,881 PROFESSIONALLY, PERSONALLY. 475 00:23:35,947 --> 00:23:47,225 IN THE SECRET IS THAT I AM GAY. 476 00:23:47,292 --> 00:23:53,799 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 477 00:23:53,865 --> 00:23:54,232 >> WE LOVE YOU! 478 00:23:54,299 --> 00:23:56,902 WE LOVE YOU! 479 00:23:56,968 --> 00:24:01,039 >> Jerrod: NO, NO, IT MEANS A 480 00:24:01,106 --> 00:24:01,473 LOT. 481 00:24:01,540 --> 00:24:02,574 I AM EXCEPTING THE LOVE. 482 00:24:02,641 --> 00:24:05,744 I APPRECIATE IT. 483 00:24:05,811 --> 00:24:10,148 MY KIND OF EGO WANTS TO REBEL 484 00:24:10,215 --> 00:24:13,151 AGAINST IT, YOU KNOW. 485 00:24:13,218 --> 00:24:13,718 YOU CLAP. 486 00:24:13,785 --> 00:24:14,753 YOU ARE VERY SWEET AND VERY 487 00:24:14,820 --> 00:24:14,953 KIND. 488 00:24:15,020 --> 00:24:24,596 I APPRECIATE IT. 489 00:24:24,663 --> 00:24:29,768 PART OF ME WANTS TO BE LIKE I'M 490 00:24:29,835 --> 00:24:31,203 FUCKING GAY, NOT RETARDED. 491 00:24:31,269 --> 00:24:32,838 I CAN FEEL IT. 492 00:24:32,904 --> 00:24:34,272 THERE'S A LOT THAT HAPPENS 493 00:24:34,339 --> 00:24:35,040 COMING OUT. 494 00:24:35,106 --> 00:24:36,708 LIKE I'M TELLING YOU GUYS, I 495 00:24:36,775 --> 00:24:44,583 KNOW SOME OF Y'ALL, YOU'RE LIKE 496 00:24:44,649 --> 00:24:47,652 WE ARE AT A GAY SHOW, BRO? 497 00:24:47,719 --> 00:24:50,255 THIS IS ON HBO. 498 00:24:50,322 --> 00:24:54,626 DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY NIGGAS JUST 499 00:24:54,693 --> 00:24:56,728 TURNED THE TV OFF, SAYING TO 500 00:24:56,795 --> 00:24:59,030 THEIR GIRLFRIEND WE'VE GOT TO 501 00:24:59,097 --> 00:24:59,798 WATCH SOMETHING ELSE? 502 00:24:59,865 --> 00:25:08,273 SOME OF YOU FELT IT. 503 00:25:08,340 --> 00:25:09,341 THAT'S OKAY. 504 00:25:09,407 --> 00:25:09,641 THAT'S OKAY. 505 00:25:09,708 --> 00:25:10,976 I GET IT. 506 00:25:11,042 --> 00:25:12,811 I CAME OUT TO MY FRIENDS. 507 00:25:12,878 --> 00:25:17,015 >> LOVE YOU! 508 00:25:17,082 --> 00:25:22,153 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 509 00:25:22,220 --> 00:25:22,721 >> Jerrod: I WANT TO ACCEPT 510 00:25:22,787 --> 00:25:24,556 THAT. 511 00:25:24,623 --> 00:25:26,958 >>> COME YOU SHED. 512 00:25:27,025 --> 00:25:28,293 >> Jerrod: IT FEELS LIKE I DID 513 00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:34,532 NOT EARN IT. 514 00:25:34,599 --> 00:25:34,866 WHAT DID I DO? 515 00:25:34,933 --> 00:25:43,241 SOCK A DOMINICAN DUDE'S DICK. 516 00:25:43,308 --> 00:25:44,643 I REALLY DID, BRO. 517 00:25:44,709 --> 00:25:45,944 MY WHOLE LIFE. 518 00:25:46,011 --> 00:25:49,314 I NEVER THOUGHT -- I DID NOT 519 00:25:49,381 --> 00:25:51,883 THINK I WOULD EVER, EVER COME 520 00:25:51,950 --> 00:25:53,051 OUT. 521 00:25:53,118 --> 00:25:57,522 I PROBABLY -- ONCE IN MY LIFE, I 522 00:25:57,589 --> 00:25:59,724 THOUGHT I WOULD RATHER DIE THAN 523 00:25:59,791 --> 00:26:00,625 CONFRONT THE TRUTH. 524 00:26:00,692 --> 00:26:03,128 ACTUALLY SAY TO PEOPLE BECAUSE I 525 00:26:03,194 --> 00:26:07,432 KNOW IT CHANGES PEOPLE'S -- SOME 526 00:26:07,499 --> 00:26:09,634 PEOPLE, IT CHANGES THEIR 527 00:26:09,701 --> 00:26:10,068 PERCEPTION OF ME. 528 00:26:10,135 --> 00:26:13,805 I CAN'T CONTROL THAT. 529 00:26:13,872 --> 00:26:17,876 YOU KNOW, FROM AN ENVIRONMENT 530 00:26:17,943 --> 00:26:21,146 WHERE I'M KIND OF RAISED TO THE 531 00:26:21,212 --> 00:26:22,914 MAN. 532 00:26:22,981 --> 00:26:32,624 WHATEVER THAT MEANS. 533 00:26:32,691 --> 00:26:35,560 YOU DON'T SEE OLD LADIES LOOKING 534 00:26:35,627 --> 00:26:42,300 OUT LIKE A TODDLER, LOOK AT HIS 535 00:26:42,367 --> 00:26:42,534 CHEEKS. 536 00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:53,912 I BET HE'S GOING TO BE A TOP. 537 00:26:53,979 --> 00:26:56,014 YO. 538 00:26:56,081 --> 00:26:57,515 YO, I FEEL YOU, BRO. 539 00:26:57,582 --> 00:27:04,389 I FEEL YOU, BRO. 540 00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:06,725 LOOKING AT ME LIKE YO, I'M 541 00:27:06,791 --> 00:27:15,133 REALLY GAY. 542 00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:19,337 IT'S SHOCKING TO ME TOO. 543 00:27:19,404 --> 00:27:22,073 YOU KNOW. 544 00:27:22,140 --> 00:27:24,576 IT'S FUCKED UP ALL OF MY 545 00:27:24,642 --> 00:27:25,944 RELATIONSHIPS. 546 00:27:26,011 --> 00:27:30,882 TALKING TO EACH OTHER LIKE MEN. 547 00:27:30,949 --> 00:27:34,419 I HAVE TO SAY SHIT LIKE I WANT 548 00:27:34,486 --> 00:27:48,633 TO SUCK YOUR DICK, BRO. 549 00:27:48,700 --> 00:27:49,034 I FEEL YOU. 550 00:27:49,100 --> 00:27:51,569 I FEEL YOU. 551 00:27:51,636 --> 00:27:54,606 I'VE GOT MOSTLY STRAIGHT 552 00:27:54,672 --> 00:27:54,839 FRIENDS. 553 00:27:54,906 --> 00:27:57,042 THEY DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT 554 00:27:57,108 --> 00:27:58,576 SHIT. 555 00:27:58,643 --> 00:28:01,613 MY HOMEBOYS, ONE OF MY 556 00:28:01,679 --> 00:28:03,048 BEST FRIENDS, ONE OF MY 557 00:28:03,114 --> 00:28:04,582 BEST FRIENDS, I LET HIM SLEEP ON 558 00:28:04,649 --> 00:28:05,784 MY COUCH WHEN HE NEEDED IT. 559 00:28:05,850 --> 00:28:08,186 I WAS ALWAYS THERE FOR HIM. 560 00:28:08,253 --> 00:28:12,457 HE TOLD ME HE FELT LIKE HE WAS 561 00:28:12,524 --> 00:28:14,659 TRICKED INTO HAVING A GAY 562 00:28:14,726 --> 00:28:15,727 BEST FRIEND. 563 00:28:15,794 --> 00:28:16,795 HE SAID I WOULD HAVE NEVER 564 00:28:16,861 --> 00:28:22,634 SIGNED UP FOR THIS. 565 00:28:22,700 --> 00:28:26,471 I SAID NIGGA, YOU OWE ME 566 00:28:26,538 --> 00:28:35,580 $80,000. 567 00:28:35,647 --> 00:28:37,415 YOU'VE GOT TO ACCEPT THE LOVE, 568 00:28:37,482 --> 00:28:37,582 MAN. 569 00:28:37,649 --> 00:28:40,985 I NEED THE LOVE. 570 00:28:41,052 --> 00:28:43,521 I NEED IT. 571 00:28:43,588 --> 00:28:47,058 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 572 00:28:47,125 --> 00:28:51,196 I'M REALLY OUT HERE LYING, 573 00:28:51,262 --> 00:28:52,931 THOUGH. 574 00:28:52,997 --> 00:28:54,499 HERE'S THE THING. 575 00:28:54,566 --> 00:28:55,567 I CAME OUT TOO LATE. 576 00:28:55,633 --> 00:28:59,671 LIKE A LITTLE TOO LATE. 577 00:28:59,737 --> 00:29:01,239 THAT "IT GETS BETTER" SHIT IS 578 00:29:01,306 --> 00:29:03,608 FOR THE KIDS. 579 00:29:03,675 --> 00:29:05,143 I'M AN OLD MAN. 580 00:29:05,210 --> 00:29:07,212 NOBODY WANTS THAT SHIT. 581 00:29:07,278 --> 00:29:09,314 ALL MY FRIENDS JUST FELT LIKE I 582 00:29:09,380 --> 00:29:10,849 WAS DUPLICITOUS, I WAS JUST 583 00:29:10,915 --> 00:29:11,382 LYING TO THEM. 584 00:29:11,449 --> 00:29:13,985 THEY DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS. 585 00:29:14,052 --> 00:29:16,187 THEY ALL REACTED LIKE SALLY 586 00:29:16,254 --> 00:29:19,357 FIELD AND "MRS. DOUBT FIRE." 587 00:29:19,424 --> 00:29:20,658 LIKE "THE WHOLE TIME? 588 00:29:20,725 --> 00:29:27,999 THE WHOLE TIME?" 589 00:29:28,066 --> 00:29:28,766 IT CLEARED UP MY RELATIONSHIP 590 00:29:28,833 --> 00:29:31,636 WITH ALL OF MY HOME GIRLS. 591 00:29:31,703 --> 00:29:34,038 MY FRIEND ASHLEY TOLD ME BEFORE 592 00:29:34,105 --> 00:29:35,607 I CAME OUT, SHE COULD SENSE IT. 593 00:29:35,673 --> 00:29:39,878 SHE WAS LIKE PLEASE JUST TELL ME 594 00:29:39,944 --> 00:29:43,114 YOUR GAY SO THIS ALL MAKES SENS 595 00:29:43,181 --> 00:29:44,215 SENSE. 596 00:29:44,282 --> 00:29:45,783 SOMETIMES YOU LIKE FACE TIME A 597 00:29:45,850 --> 00:29:47,585 WOMAN TO SEE IF YOUR OUTFIT 598 00:29:47,652 --> 00:29:52,991 LOOKS OKAY. 599 00:29:53,057 --> 00:29:54,192 THEY WERE THE TOUGHEST. 600 00:29:54,259 --> 00:29:56,161 I WILL TELL YOU. 601 00:29:56,227 --> 00:29:57,128 BLACK WOMEN WEAR THE TOUGHEST TO 602 00:29:57,195 --> 00:29:59,797 COME OUT TO YOU BUT ALSO MOST 603 00:29:59,864 --> 00:30:00,098 SUPPORTIVE. 604 00:30:00,165 --> 00:30:03,735 AND I'M VERY, VERY THANKFUL FOR 605 00:30:03,801 --> 00:30:04,736 ALL OF THE BLACK LADIES IN MY 606 00:30:04,802 --> 00:30:04,936 LIFE. 607 00:30:05,003 --> 00:30:12,844 [APPLAUSE] 608 00:30:12,911 --> 00:30:17,682 THEY ARE NOT HOMOPHOBIC AT ALL. 609 00:30:17,749 --> 00:30:19,851 THEY ARE RACIST AS A 610 00:30:19,918 --> 00:30:29,027 MOTHERFUCKER. 611 00:30:29,093 --> 00:30:31,863 NIGGA, WHAT? 612 00:30:31,930 --> 00:30:35,600 YOU DATE WHITE BOYS? 613 00:30:35,667 --> 00:30:36,067 DON'T ACT SURPRISED. 614 00:30:36,134 --> 00:30:39,671 NO MORE SECRETS. 615 00:30:39,737 --> 00:30:45,810 >> WOW! 616 00:30:45,877 --> 00:30:47,946 >> Jerrod: YOU HEARD HER SAY 617 00:30:48,012 --> 00:30:52,617 "WOW." 618 00:30:52,684 --> 00:30:55,987 MY SISTER IS ON THAT SHIT TOO. 619 00:30:56,054 --> 00:30:57,388 YOU CAN'T -- I'M USED TO IT. 620 00:30:57,455 --> 00:30:59,724 I GREW UP IN THE HOOD. 621 00:30:59,791 --> 00:31:04,762 LIKE REAL, STRONG SHIT. 622 00:31:04,829 --> 00:31:04,963 LOOK. 623 00:31:05,029 --> 00:31:07,098 I WILL SAY THIS. 624 00:31:07,165 --> 00:31:10,368 I ACTUALLY THINK THAT IT'S 625 00:31:10,435 --> 00:31:12,003 IMPORTANT TO SAY THIS. 626 00:31:12,070 --> 00:31:15,974 I BELIEVE IN BLACK FAMILY. 627 00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:17,508 I THINK BLACK MEN SHOULD MARRY 628 00:31:17,575 --> 00:31:20,778 BLACK WOMEN, HAVE BLACK BABIES, 629 00:31:20,845 --> 00:31:23,681 AND RAISE THEM TO BE SMART, JUST 630 00:31:23,748 --> 00:31:28,486 GOOD CITIZENS EDUCATED. 631 00:31:28,553 --> 00:31:30,555 100%. 632 00:31:30,622 --> 00:31:35,426 I THINK GAY BLACK MEN SHOULD BE 633 00:31:35,493 --> 00:31:40,098 ABLE TO FUCK WHOEVER THEY WANT. 634 00:31:40,164 --> 00:31:46,804 NO BLACK BABIES. 635 00:31:46,871 --> 00:31:48,406 IT'S ALL GETTING FLUSHED. 636 00:31:48,473 --> 00:31:50,308 IT DOESN'T MATTER. 637 00:31:50,375 --> 00:31:55,780 IT DOESN'T MATTER. 638 00:31:55,847 --> 00:32:00,118 THE BLACK GIRLS, THEY TRY. 639 00:32:00,184 --> 00:32:02,320 THEY WILL IGNORE THAT HE IS 640 00:32:02,387 --> 00:32:02,954 WHITE. 641 00:32:03,021 --> 00:32:04,188 WHENEVER I SEND A PICTURE TO MY 642 00:32:04,255 --> 00:32:07,792 HOMEGIRL, TIFFANY, SHE'S LIKE 643 00:32:07,859 --> 00:32:09,894 THAT'S PRETTY. 644 00:32:09,961 --> 00:32:14,599 LOOK AT THE SKIN. 645 00:32:14,666 --> 00:32:25,243 MY VANILLA KING. 646 00:32:25,310 --> 00:32:29,847 >> WHAT'S YOUR NAME? 647 00:32:29,914 --> 00:32:40,124 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 648 00:32:40,191 --> 00:32:41,326 >> Jerrod: NOW YOU GUYS ARE 649 00:32:41,392 --> 00:32:51,869 TOO MUCH LIKE MY FAMILY. 650 00:32:51,936 --> 00:32:52,170 IT'S A LOT. 651 00:32:52,236 --> 00:32:54,305 IT'S A LOT. 652 00:32:54,372 --> 00:33:01,312 I'M REALLY HAPPY FOR THIS MOMEN 653 00:33:01,379 --> 00:33:07,485 MOMENT. 654 00:33:07,552 --> 00:33:10,455 MY BROTHER TEXTED ME EARLIER 655 00:33:10,521 --> 00:33:13,057 TODAY. 656 00:33:13,124 --> 00:33:17,662 HE SAID I'M MISSING MY FIRST 657 00:33:17,729 --> 00:33:20,798 SPECIAL TAPING, BUT I KNOW IT'S 658 00:33:20,865 --> 00:33:21,065 NECESSARY. 659 00:33:21,132 --> 00:33:22,567 I LOVE YOU. 660 00:33:22,633 --> 00:33:25,136 THAT'S VERY SWEET. 661 00:33:25,203 --> 00:33:25,436 I LOVE HIM. 662 00:33:25,503 --> 00:33:28,306 HE'S THERE FOR ME AS MUCH AS HE 663 00:33:28,373 --> 00:33:31,609 CAN BE. 664 00:33:31,676 --> 00:33:32,744 IT'S NOT -- HE TRIES. 665 00:33:32,810 --> 00:33:35,246 HE TRIES, AND I LOVE HIM. 666 00:33:35,313 --> 00:33:35,880 I LOVE HIM A LOT. 667 00:33:35,947 --> 00:33:37,949 I LOVE JOE SO MUCH. 668 00:33:38,015 --> 00:33:41,853 HE IS ALL I GOT IN A LOT OF 669 00:33:41,919 --> 00:33:43,955 THIS. 670 00:33:44,021 --> 00:33:45,256 YOU KNOW. 671 00:33:45,323 --> 00:33:50,194 I WISH YOU WOULD TRY HARDER. 672 00:33:50,261 --> 00:33:51,396 A LITTLE BIT MAD. 673 00:33:51,462 --> 00:33:52,463 HE IS MY BIG BROTHER. 674 00:33:52,530 --> 00:34:00,938 HE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT ME. 675 00:34:01,005 --> 00:34:03,775 HE LOVES ME, DESPITE. 676 00:34:03,841 --> 00:34:04,876 THAT'S THE THING. 677 00:34:04,942 --> 00:34:06,911 IT'S A LITTLE CONDESCENDING, YOU 678 00:34:06,978 --> 00:34:07,111 KNOW. 679 00:34:07,178 --> 00:34:10,915 IT IS LOVE WITH AN ASTERISK. 680 00:34:10,982 --> 00:34:14,685 I'M NOT INTO THAT GAY SHIT, BUT 681 00:34:14,752 --> 00:34:17,555 I LOVE YOU. 682 00:34:17,622 --> 00:34:18,423 YOU KNOW. 683 00:34:18,489 --> 00:34:20,625 I CAN FEEL THE DISTANCE BETWEEN 684 00:34:20,691 --> 00:34:21,826 US. 685 00:34:21,893 --> 00:34:25,663 AND I HATE THAT BECAUSE I DON'T 686 00:34:25,730 --> 00:34:26,197 WANT THAT. 687 00:34:26,264 --> 00:34:28,633 IT MAKES ME FEEL UNWANTED. 688 00:34:28,699 --> 00:34:29,700 IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE THERE'S 689 00:34:29,767 --> 00:34:32,236 SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME. 690 00:34:32,303 --> 00:34:36,207 IT'S LIKE HE'S LOOKING DOWN ON 691 00:34:36,274 --> 00:34:41,112 ME. 692 00:34:41,179 --> 00:34:45,383 IT'S ESPECIALLY HURTFUL JUST 693 00:34:45,450 --> 00:34:47,218 BECAUSE I MAKE SO MUCH MORE 694 00:34:47,285 --> 00:34:56,093 MONEY THAN THIS NIGGA. 695 00:34:56,160 --> 00:35:01,566 IT'S NOT EVEN CLOSE. 696 00:35:01,632 --> 00:35:02,733 I DON'T WANT TO BE GROSS AND 697 00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:05,970 TALK ABOUT MONEY, BUT THE 698 00:35:06,037 --> 00:35:09,173 DIFFERENCE IS MILLIONS AND 699 00:35:09,240 --> 00:35:12,343 MILLIONS. 700 00:35:12,410 --> 00:35:14,912 I LOVE MY BROTHER A LOT. 701 00:35:14,979 --> 00:35:18,916 HE'S A NICE GUY. 702 00:35:18,983 --> 00:35:20,084 NICE. 703 00:35:20,151 --> 00:35:24,222 I'M SAYING THAT -- HE HAS FIVE 704 00:35:24,288 --> 00:35:24,422 KIDS. 705 00:35:24,489 --> 00:35:25,523 WHO I LOVE. 706 00:35:25,590 --> 00:35:27,191 A LOT. 707 00:35:27,258 --> 00:35:29,393 A LOT. 708 00:35:29,460 --> 00:35:32,430 MY NIECES MEAN A LOT TO ME. 709 00:35:32,497 --> 00:35:39,937 MY OLDEST NIECE, SHE'S 14 NOW. 710 00:35:40,004 --> 00:35:42,607 AND I LOVE -- I LIKE TALKING TO 711 00:35:42,673 --> 00:35:43,140 HER. 712 00:35:43,207 --> 00:35:43,608 SHE'S SO SMART. 713 00:35:43,674 --> 00:35:51,983 AND REALLY BEAUTIFUL. 714 00:35:52,049 --> 00:35:57,221 AND ALL OF -- I HAVE A 715 00:35:57,288 --> 00:35:59,957 5-YEAR-OLD NIECE AND 4-YEAR-OLD 716 00:36:00,024 --> 00:36:00,758 TWIN NIECES. 717 00:36:00,825 --> 00:36:01,926 I LOVE THEM. 718 00:36:01,993 --> 00:36:03,461 I LOVE SPENDING TIME WITH THEM 719 00:36:03,528 --> 00:36:04,829 BECAUSE I'M NOT HIDING ANYTHING 720 00:36:04,896 --> 00:36:05,429 WHEN I'M WITH THEM. 721 00:36:05,496 --> 00:36:09,066 I'M JUST WITH THEM. 722 00:36:09,133 --> 00:36:14,138 JUST EATING ICE CREAM. 723 00:36:14,205 --> 00:36:21,579 THEY ARE EASY TO TALK ABOUT. 724 00:36:21,646 --> 00:36:24,549 IT IS HARDER WITH THE OLDER ONE 725 00:36:24,615 --> 00:36:25,850 ONES. 726 00:36:25,917 --> 00:36:30,988 I CAME OUT TO MY DAD. 727 00:36:31,055 --> 00:36:33,391 AGAIN. 728 00:36:33,457 --> 00:36:35,493 I SAY IT AGAIN BECAUSE OF THE 729 00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:35,960 COGNITIVE DISSONANCE. 730 00:36:36,027 --> 00:36:37,094 I HAVE TO REMIND HIM. 731 00:36:37,161 --> 00:36:40,364 I HAVE TO RE-UP. 732 00:36:40,431 --> 00:36:43,701 THERE IS A PART OF HIM THAT LIKE 733 00:36:43,768 --> 00:36:45,369 SET I CAME OUT. 734 00:36:45,436 --> 00:36:47,238 I DON'T THINK HE NECESSARILY 735 00:36:47,305 --> 00:36:49,073 WANTS A GAY SON, BUT HE LIKES 736 00:36:49,140 --> 00:36:52,944 THAT ME TA COMING OUT TAKE SOMEF 737 00:36:53,010 --> 00:36:54,378 THE HEAT OFF OF HIM. 738 00:36:54,445 --> 00:36:58,616 WHEN HE FIRST FOUND OUT, HE IS 739 00:36:58,683 --> 00:37:00,651 LIKE OH, NO, IT'S COOL. 740 00:37:00,718 --> 00:37:02,486 I FUCKED UP. 741 00:37:02,553 --> 00:37:08,392 YOU FUCKED UP. 742 00:37:08,459 --> 00:37:10,695 [LAUGHTER] 743 00:37:10,761 --> 00:37:14,966 MY FATHER'S DREAM IS THAT I AM 744 00:37:15,032 --> 00:37:15,533 BI. 745 00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:16,000 THAT'S ALL HE WANTS. 746 00:37:16,067 --> 00:37:18,569 THAT'S REALLY ALL HE WANTS. 747 00:37:18,636 --> 00:37:20,705 THERE IS THE HOPE THAT SOMEWHERE 748 00:37:20,771 --> 00:37:22,039 ON THE HORIZON THAT I AM STILL 749 00:37:22,106 --> 00:37:27,745 GETTING PUSSY. 750 00:37:27,812 --> 00:37:28,946 HE IS PROBABLY ACTUALLY 751 00:37:29,013 --> 00:37:31,015 DISAPPOINTED IN BOTH ME AND MY 752 00:37:31,082 --> 00:37:31,349 BROTHER. 753 00:37:31,415 --> 00:37:35,920 HE IS PROBABLY LOOKING AT US 754 00:37:35,987 --> 00:37:38,823 LIKE WAGE, SO YOU GAY, AND YOU 755 00:37:38,889 --> 00:37:48,199 ONLY FUCK YOUR WIFE? 756 00:37:48,265 --> 00:37:54,438 I TOLD MY DAD, I SAID I KNOW TWO 757 00:37:54,505 --> 00:37:57,441 THINGS FOR EFFECT. 758 00:37:57,508 --> 00:38:02,680 I WILL NEVER BE AN ASTRONAUT. 759 00:38:02,747 --> 00:38:05,750 AND I AM A GAY MAN. 760 00:38:05,816 --> 00:38:06,617 AND YOU KNOW WHAT MY FATHER 761 00:38:06,684 --> 00:38:09,220 SAID? 762 00:38:09,286 --> 00:38:12,490 HE SAID DON'T GIVE UP ON THE 763 00:38:12,556 --> 00:38:37,982 MOON, SON. 764 00:38:38,049 --> 00:38:42,453 I HID IT FROM MY MOM. 765 00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:53,030 I WAS AFRAID THAT HER REACTION 766 00:38:53,097 --> 00:38:59,570 WOULD BE TO JUST GO INSIDE. 767 00:38:59,637 --> 00:39:01,405 I LOVE -- I LOVE HER A LOT. 768 00:39:01,472 --> 00:39:05,142 I LOVE HER DEARLY. 769 00:39:05,209 --> 00:39:07,545 AND I'M TRYING TO DESCRIBE HER 770 00:39:07,611 --> 00:39:09,613 WITHOUT SOUNDING CLICHE. 771 00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:10,214 DESCRIBE THE LOVE THAT I HAVE 772 00:39:10,281 --> 00:39:11,348 FOR HER. 773 00:39:11,415 --> 00:39:15,052 I REALLY FEEL LIKE I WAS ONE OF 774 00:39:15,119 --> 00:39:17,555 HER CLOSEST FRIENDS. 775 00:39:17,621 --> 00:39:18,189 I FEEL LIKE I ALWAYS LOOKED OUT 776 00:39:18,255 --> 00:39:22,393 FOR HER. 777 00:39:22,460 --> 00:39:29,734 I REMEMBER ON THE CALL LAST TIME 778 00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:30,801 I TALKED ABOUT BEING GAY WITH MY 779 00:39:30,868 --> 00:39:40,911 MOM, SHE SAID I CAN'T GO AGAINST 780 00:39:40,978 --> 00:39:41,112 JESUS. 781 00:39:41,178 --> 00:39:44,749 THAT BOTHERS ME. 782 00:39:44,815 --> 00:39:45,382 AND I GET IT. 783 00:39:45,449 --> 00:39:52,623 I GET IT BECAUSE SHE'S... 784 00:39:52,690 --> 00:39:55,226 SHE'S DOING THE BEST SHE CAN. 785 00:39:55,292 --> 00:39:55,493 YOU KNOW. 786 00:39:55,559 --> 00:40:03,400 I THINK. 787 00:40:03,467 --> 00:40:04,635 SHE'S TRYING TO ACCEPT -- I 788 00:40:04,702 --> 00:40:06,604 DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S TRYING TO 789 00:40:06,670 --> 00:40:06,804 DO. 790 00:40:06,871 --> 00:40:11,041 I THINK SHE IS TO ACCEPT IT. 791 00:40:11,108 --> 00:40:13,944 PART OF ME KNOWS SHE IS LIKE AT 792 00:40:14,011 --> 00:40:16,247 HOME, TRYING TO PRAY THE GAY 793 00:40:16,313 --> 00:40:22,019 AWAY. 794 00:40:22,086 --> 00:40:25,890 ANYTIME I DON'T MATCH WITH THE 795 00:40:25,956 --> 00:40:35,733 DUDE. 796 00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:36,967 I FEEL IT TOO. 797 00:40:37,034 --> 00:40:39,036 I FEEL IT TOO. 798 00:40:39,103 --> 00:40:43,741 YOU KNOW, IT FUCKS WITH ME 799 00:40:43,808 --> 00:40:44,708 BECAUSE THIS IS A RELIGION I 800 00:40:44,775 --> 00:40:45,376 STILL BELIEVE IN. 801 00:40:45,442 --> 00:40:47,578 I'M STILL A CHRISTIAN. 802 00:40:47,645 --> 00:40:47,978 IT'S TAKEN A LOT. 803 00:40:48,045 --> 00:40:51,415 IT'S TAKEN A WHOLE LOT BECAUSE I 804 00:40:51,482 --> 00:40:53,717 HAVE HAD TO RECONFIGURE GOD AND 805 00:40:53,784 --> 00:40:56,086 WHAT GOD IS AND WHAT IT MEANS. 806 00:40:56,153 --> 00:40:58,389 IN ORDER TO ACCEPT MY SOUL. 807 00:40:58,455 --> 00:40:58,756 KIND OF REBUILD. 808 00:40:58,823 --> 00:41:09,500 AND WITH MY MOM, SORRY. 809 00:41:09,567 --> 00:41:16,273 IT'S NOT REALLY -- IT'S KIND OF 810 00:41:16,340 --> 00:41:17,041 HAPPENING. 811 00:41:17,107 --> 00:41:25,049 IT'S NOT TOTALLY WORKED OUT. 812 00:41:25,115 --> 00:41:26,984 SHE'S... 813 00:41:27,051 --> 00:41:33,524 I THINK SHE'S -- SHE THINKS NOT 814 00:41:33,591 --> 00:41:36,727 REACTING IS THE BEST REACTION. 815 00:41:36,794 --> 00:41:38,195 I THINK SHE'S BEEN REWARDED. 816 00:41:38,262 --> 00:41:41,966 SHE'S BEEN REWARDED FOR STAYING 817 00:41:42,032 --> 00:41:42,166 QUIET. 818 00:41:42,233 --> 00:41:44,935 LIKE WITH HER DAD. 819 00:41:45,002 --> 00:41:51,208 SO SHE GIVES ME NOTHING. 820 00:41:51,275 --> 00:41:51,876 EVEN HATE. 821 00:41:51,942 --> 00:41:54,478 EVEN HATE STARTS TO FEEL LIKE 822 00:41:54,545 --> 00:41:56,580 LOVE BECAUSE THAT'S 823 00:41:56,647 --> 00:41:58,215 ACKNOWLEDGMENT. 824 00:41:58,282 --> 00:41:59,083 IT'S NOT JUST NICE. 825 00:41:59,149 --> 00:41:59,483 IT'S NOT PLEASANT. 826 00:41:59,550 --> 00:42:01,452 BUT IT'S REAL. 827 00:42:01,518 --> 00:42:05,189 AND THAT FEELS -- I THINK THAT 828 00:42:05,256 --> 00:42:07,691 WOULD FEEL BETTER. 829 00:42:07,758 --> 00:42:10,527 I WISH SHE WOULD YELL AT ME. 830 00:42:10,594 --> 00:42:11,228 I WISH SHE WOULD TELL ME TO NOT 831 00:42:11,295 --> 00:42:16,734 COME HOME. 832 00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:18,636 ONCE SHE CALLS ME A FAGGOT LIKE 833 00:42:18,702 --> 00:42:20,604 MY UNCLE DID. 834 00:42:20,671 --> 00:42:25,743 IT HURT MY FEELINGS, BUT I WAS 835 00:42:25,809 --> 00:42:39,823 LIKE NIGGA, YOUR NAMED JUNE BUG. 836 00:42:39,890 --> 00:42:40,090 ANYTHING. 837 00:42:40,157 --> 00:42:41,926 ANYTHING. 838 00:42:41,992 --> 00:42:53,904 ANYTHING. 839 00:42:53,971 --> 00:43:00,878 SHE'S NICE. 840 00:43:00,945 --> 00:43:04,481 SHE'S SWEET. 841 00:43:04,548 --> 00:43:09,086 SHE IGNORES IT. 842 00:43:09,153 --> 00:43:15,059 THE WORST OF HER IS COLD. 843 00:43:15,125 --> 00:43:15,726 REALLY, REALLY COLD. 844 00:43:15,793 --> 00:43:18,329 I MEAN, SHE'S A NICE LADY, BUT 845 00:43:18,395 --> 00:43:25,102 THERE'S A PART OF HER THAT'S 846 00:43:25,169 --> 00:43:27,404 REALLY -- SHE CAN SHUT PEOPLE 847 00:43:27,471 --> 00:43:27,938 OUT TO GET SHE CAN IGNORE. 848 00:43:28,005 --> 00:43:32,977 SHE CAN BLOCK. 849 00:43:33,043 --> 00:43:36,613 >> BUT YOU GAVE YOURSELF SO MANY 850 00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:36,814 YEARS. 851 00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:37,448 WHY DON'T YOU GIVE HER SOME 852 00:43:37,514 --> 00:43:37,681 TIME. 853 00:43:37,748 --> 00:43:38,782 >> Jerrod: I WOULD LOVE TO 854 00:43:38,849 --> 00:43:41,151 GIVE HER ALL OF THE TIME IN THE 855 00:43:41,218 --> 00:43:47,958 WORLD. 856 00:43:48,025 --> 00:43:48,692 JUST IN GENERAL, YOU KNOW, ONE 857 00:43:48,759 --> 00:43:53,964 OF HER BIGGEST FEARS, HER 858 00:43:54,031 --> 00:43:55,632 PARENTS FUNERAL, JUST THE 859 00:43:55,699 --> 00:43:57,701 THOUGHT OF ONE OF THEM DYING 860 00:43:57,768 --> 00:44:01,338 WITHOUT SAYING EVERYTHING. 861 00:44:01,405 --> 00:44:01,605 YOU KNOW. 862 00:44:01,672 --> 00:44:10,514 WITHOUT EXPRESSING AT ALL. 863 00:44:10,581 --> 00:44:13,150 MY MOM IS IN HER EARLY 60s. 864 00:44:13,217 --> 00:44:18,689 SHE HAS TIME. 865 00:44:18,756 --> 00:44:20,157 I STILL JUST DON'T KNOW IF 866 00:44:20,224 --> 00:44:24,495 THAT'S WHEN PEOPLE CHANGE. 867 00:44:24,561 --> 00:44:24,928 LIKE MAYBE. 868 00:44:24,995 --> 00:44:25,562 I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE PART OF 869 00:44:25,629 --> 00:44:27,965 ME FEELS LIKE IT IS LIKE TELLING 870 00:44:28,032 --> 00:44:32,736 A JOKE, BUT PART OF IT, ASKING 871 00:44:32,803 --> 00:44:33,771 MY MOM TO CHANGE, YOU EVER SEE 872 00:44:33,837 --> 00:44:38,642 LIKE A 90-YEAR-OLD GET A COLLEGE 873 00:44:38,709 --> 00:44:43,914 DEGREE? 874 00:44:43,981 --> 00:44:47,918 YOU'RE LIKE BITCH, NOW? 875 00:44:47,985 --> 00:44:48,152 OKAY. 876 00:44:48,218 --> 00:44:50,220 OKAY, YEAH. 877 00:44:50,287 --> 00:44:52,756 GOOD LUCK IN THE FUCKING JOB 878 00:44:52,823 --> 00:44:58,662 MARKET. 879 00:44:58,729 --> 00:45:01,932 LIKE I DON'T WANT -- IT'S NOT 880 00:45:01,999 --> 00:45:03,700 THAT I DON'T HAVE HOPE FOR 881 00:45:03,767 --> 00:45:04,334 CHANGE, BUT I THINK EVEN WHEN 882 00:45:04,401 --> 00:45:08,072 SHE WAS YOUNG, THERE IS A PART 883 00:45:08,138 --> 00:45:10,941 OF MY MOM THAT'S VERY, VERY COL 884 00:45:11,008 --> 00:45:17,314 COLD. 885 00:45:17,381 --> 00:45:22,920 MY -- MY LAST REAL SECRET IS 886 00:45:22,986 --> 00:45:30,194 THAT I AM NICE. 887 00:45:30,260 --> 00:45:30,360 NO. 888 00:45:30,427 --> 00:45:33,597 LIKE MY MOM. 889 00:45:33,664 --> 00:45:36,233 VERY SELFISH. 890 00:45:36,300 --> 00:45:39,903 VERY, VERY, VERY SELFISH. 891 00:45:39,970 --> 00:45:41,105 I SMILED. 892 00:45:41,171 --> 00:45:43,740 I'M VERY POLITE ABOUT IT. 893 00:45:43,807 --> 00:45:45,275 I LIE TO EVERYBODY'S FACE. 894 00:45:45,342 --> 00:45:52,816 NOW, WE SHOULD GET DINNER. 895 00:45:52,883 --> 00:45:54,885 YOU KNOW. 896 00:45:54,952 --> 00:45:55,652 LIES. 897 00:45:55,719 --> 00:46:04,194 YOU CAN'T JUST GO I'M AFRAID. 898 00:46:04,261 --> 00:46:04,595 JUST LIKE MY MOM. 899 00:46:04,661 --> 00:46:08,332 THAT PERFORMANCE. 900 00:46:08,398 --> 00:46:08,665 NOT SMILING. 901 00:46:08,732 --> 00:46:13,937 I SMILE A LOT. 902 00:46:14,004 --> 00:46:28,218 I FEEL LIKE IF I DON'T SMILE -- 903 00:46:28,285 --> 00:46:32,823 I KNOW. 904 00:46:32,890 --> 00:46:36,226 I'M AFRAID OF THINGS -- I'M 905 00:46:36,293 --> 00:46:43,867 AFRAID OF THINGS GETTING... 906 00:46:43,934 --> 00:46:49,606 AWKWARD. 907 00:46:49,673 --> 00:46:54,411 LIKE WEIRD. 908 00:46:54,478 --> 00:46:58,015 LIKE EVEN THIS MOMENT, I'M LIKE 909 00:46:58,081 --> 00:47:07,524 THINK OF A JOKE. 910 00:47:07,591 --> 00:47:10,127 >> DO YOU WISH YOU DIDN'T TELL 911 00:47:10,194 --> 00:47:11,995 HER? 912 00:47:12,062 --> 00:47:17,034 >> Jerrod: NO. 913 00:47:17,100 --> 00:47:18,168 NO. 914 00:47:18,235 --> 00:47:19,002 I STAYED IN THE CLOSET FOR A 915 00:47:19,069 --> 00:47:21,238 LONG TIME. 916 00:47:21,305 --> 00:47:23,106 I THINK BECAUSE OF MY MOM. 917 00:47:23,173 --> 00:47:28,679 I FELT LIKE I DIDN'T WANT TO DO 918 00:47:28,745 --> 00:47:38,388 TO HER, SO WHAT'S THE POINT? 919 00:47:38,455 --> 00:47:42,526 BUT AS MUCH AS SHE BELIEVES IN 920 00:47:42,593 --> 00:47:47,464 GOD, I BELIEVE IN PERSONAL 921 00:47:47,531 --> 00:47:49,032 GROWTH. 922 00:47:49,099 --> 00:47:50,867 AND FEELING FREE. 923 00:47:50,934 --> 00:47:54,004 I FEEL FREER. 924 00:47:54,071 --> 00:48:06,550 [APPLAUSE] 925 00:48:06,617 --> 00:48:14,024 YOU SAY THINGS, YOU KNOW, AT 926 00:48:14,091 --> 00:48:14,791 TIMES YOU GROW, YOU GOT TO LEAVE 927 00:48:14,858 --> 00:48:20,097 PEOPLE BEHIND. 928 00:48:20,163 --> 00:48:21,965 PEOPLE ARE IN YOUR LIFE FOR A 929 00:48:22,032 --> 00:48:22,899 REASON OR A SEASON, THE KIND OF 930 00:48:22,966 --> 00:48:30,173 CLICHE SAYINGS. 931 00:48:30,240 --> 00:48:30,841 IT'S HARD WHEN THAT PERSON IS 932 00:48:30,907 --> 00:48:45,922 YOUR MOM. 933 00:48:45,989 --> 00:48:46,623 >> I THINK A LOT OF THAT GUILT 934 00:48:46,690 --> 00:48:49,960 IS YOUR DAD. 935 00:48:50,027 --> 00:48:52,429 >> Jerrod: I THINK I CARRY -- 936 00:48:52,496 --> 00:48:57,701 I CARRY SOME GUILT -- I THINK 937 00:48:57,768 --> 00:49:04,741 BECAUSE I WAS COMPLICIT. 938 00:49:04,808 --> 00:49:08,679 IN THE LINE, I GUESS. 939 00:49:08,745 --> 00:49:11,548 I THOUGHT I WAS PROTECTING HER. 940 00:49:11,615 --> 00:49:14,451 I ALWAYS FELT LIKE A PROTECTOR. 941 00:49:14,518 --> 00:49:22,025 I ALWAYS FELT LIKE -- I'M TRYING 942 00:49:22,092 --> 00:49:22,392 TO EXPLAIN THIS. 943 00:49:22,459 --> 00:49:27,030 I ALWAYS FELT LIKE THE 944 00:49:27,097 --> 00:49:29,266 MATERIAL -- I ALWAYS FELT LIKE 945 00:49:29,333 --> 00:49:35,339 THE RESULT OF HER PRAYERS... 946 00:49:35,405 --> 00:49:40,377 MY MOM, ONE OF HER FAVORITE 947 00:49:40,444 --> 00:49:46,183 BIBLE VERSES IS "ASK ME, AND I 948 00:49:46,249 --> 00:49:55,092 WILL TELL YOU." 949 00:49:55,158 --> 00:49:56,960 >> DO YOU THINK WITHOUT YOUR 950 00:49:57,027 --> 00:49:59,029 MOM'S APPROVAL, YOU WILL BE 951 00:49:59,096 --> 00:50:01,198 OKAY? 952 00:50:01,264 --> 00:50:03,166 EVENTUALLY. 953 00:50:03,233 --> 00:50:04,167 >> Jerrod: I THINK WITHOUT MY 954 00:50:04,234 --> 00:50:13,977 MOM'S APPROVAL, I THINK -- I 955 00:50:14,044 --> 00:50:16,646 LIKE TO BELIEVE I WILL BE OKAY. 956 00:50:16,713 --> 00:50:19,916 I SPENT A LOT OF TIME TRYING TO 957 00:50:19,983 --> 00:50:23,453 SUPPLEMENT THE LOVE. 958 00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:24,488 I AM VERY THANKFUL BECAUSE I 959 00:50:24,554 --> 00:50:26,523 HAVE SOME VERY, VERY GOOD 960 00:50:26,590 --> 00:50:27,023 FRIENDS. 961 00:50:27,090 --> 00:50:32,496 REALLY GOOD PEOPLE WHO ARE THER 962 00:50:32,562 --> 00:50:34,631 THERE. 963 00:50:34,698 --> 00:50:38,635 I THINK IT'S SOMETHING THAT I 964 00:50:38,702 --> 00:50:40,537 SEARCH FOR. 965 00:50:40,604 --> 00:50:43,039 I THINK, I MEAN, THIS IS BETWEEN 966 00:50:43,106 --> 00:50:46,376 ME AND MY MOM. 967 00:50:46,443 --> 00:50:47,010 SOMETIMES WHEN I FEEL THE MOST 968 00:50:47,077 --> 00:50:50,847 LIKE AN ORPHAN. 969 00:50:50,914 --> 00:50:52,482 I FEEL THE PAIN. 970 00:50:52,549 --> 00:51:08,999 AND I'M SORRY. 971 00:51:09,065 --> 00:51:12,302 I'M TRYING TO MAKE JOKES. 972 00:51:12,369 --> 00:51:16,139 I WISH THIS MOMENT WERE NOT SO 973 00:51:16,206 --> 00:51:22,479 WEIRD. 974 00:51:22,546 --> 00:51:24,648 BECAUSE I THINK LIKE MEN, WHAT 975 00:51:24,714 --> 00:51:25,449 DO I WANT FROM HER? 976 00:51:25,515 --> 00:51:37,894 I KNOW SHE WILL SEE THIS. 977 00:51:37,961 --> 00:51:44,034 I DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN. 978 00:51:44,100 --> 00:51:49,673 YOU GUYS GOT ANY IDEAS? 979 00:51:49,739 --> 00:51:55,712 NO, BUT I DON'T KNOW. 980 00:51:55,779 --> 00:51:56,680 I'VE BEEN TRYING TO BE VERY 981 00:51:56,746 --> 00:52:00,383 HONEST. 982 00:52:00,450 --> 00:52:03,487 BECAUSE MY WHOLE LIFE WAS 983 00:52:03,553 --> 00:52:06,590 SHROUDED IN SECRETS. 984 00:52:06,656 --> 00:52:09,860 AND... 985 00:52:09,926 --> 00:52:13,830 I FIGURED THE ONLY ROUTE I HAVE 986 00:52:13,897 --> 00:52:15,532 IS THE TRUTH. 987 00:52:15,599 --> 00:52:24,808 TO SAY EVERYTHING. 988 00:52:24,875 --> 00:52:44,628 I'M VERY THANKFUL FOR TONIGHT. 989 00:52:44,694 --> 00:52:46,530 ROTHANIEL. 990 00:52:46,596 --> 00:52:52,435 [APPLAUSE] 991 00:52:52,502 --> 00:52:56,706 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 992 00:52:56,773 --> 00:53:10,787 ♪ ♪ 993 00:53:10,854 --> 00:53:17,861 ♪ ♪ 994 00:53:17,928 --> 00:53:28,805 ♪ ♪ 995 00:53:28,872 --> 00:53:43,620 ♪ ♪ 996 00:53:43,687 --> 00:53:58,635 ♪ ♪ 997 00:53:58,702 --> 00:54:13,750 ♪ ♪ 998 00:54:13,817 --> 00:54:29,132 ♪ ♪ 999 00:54:29,199 --> 00:54:43,580 ♪ ♪ 1000 00:54:43,647 --> 00:54:58,528 ♪ ♪ 1001 00:54:58,595 --> 00:54:59,596 ♪ ♪