[♪]
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[video camera whirring]
[Ron] Hey there.
Hey, Mackenzie.
Hi, baby.
You're really fast.
[Alyssa] I think we got a future athlete on our hands.
Good throw.
[laughs]
Kick it right at me.
[laughs]
Almost.
Here.
Okay, watch the tree.
Come over the top or underneath.
[Alyssa] Wow! Look at that dynamic duo!
Lucas has cooties.
Do not.
[Alyssa] We don't say that, Mac.
Apologize now.
Mac.
It's so good!
[unintelligible]
[Alyssa] What are you doing there, Big Mac?
We're learning how to tell time.
[Alyssa] Daddy, look what Mackenzie did!
[Ron] Oh, yeah, it's pretty good.
Oh, come on! Give me a break!
[Alyssa] Hey! Watch it!
Sorry, mom.
[Alyssa] Are you nervous about the championship game?
-Yes. -A little bit. Not really.
-What? -You've thought about it.
No, you're nervous.
I got it.
[Lucas] What's up, Schaffer?
You know, just hanging in there.
-Stop doing that! -[Lucas] What?
I know you're zooming in on my face.
[Lucas] No, I'm not.
Do you think I'm pretty or something?
[Lucas] Ew! No.
Stop recording and kick with me.
Coach thinks I need to work on my foot skills.
[Lucas] Sure.
[Alyssa] Mac, it's time to go.
My dad's moving out today, so, see you tomorrow?
[Lucas] Uh, yeah, for sure.
-[pop music plays] -[Mackenzie] So welcome to my crib.
I got to repaint the walls now since I'm older
and don't like the color pink.
Here are my trophies back to when I was like five.
Oh, and here is a stack of books. I read a lot.
Oh, and here's some books I haven't read.
Here's some medals.
Oh, and my art.
I keep it in my closet because my mom thinks it's weird.
Mackenzie missed again.
Up and back. Let's go!
No one's going home until Mackenzie makes a goal.
Come on chicken shits! Hustle, hustle, hustle!
Now that Mackenzie's shown us she actually deserves
to be on this team we can all go home.
All right good practice.
Give me the camera.
What?
We can't have footage of our practice get out there,
what if the other teams get ahold of it?
they'll know our every move.
No, really, it's just for me,
so I can get better at penalties.
Just give a crap
and you'll get better, Mackenzie.
[coach] There you go.
Get it Mackenzie.
[Alyssa] Oh, shit.
[Alyssa] Hey, Mac. Your dad wants me to take a video of you.
You told him?
[Alyssa] I had to, you're on his insurance.
Like he even cares.
No, don't stop.
If we're gonna send out a video, let's send him a video.
Hey, dad, hope you're enjoying your new life
with your new girlfriend.
I tore my ACL, so I'll be out for a year at least.
So that fucking sucks.
[Alyssa] Mac.
What? It's the truth, this sucks,
dad sucks, don't act like it doesn't suck.
[Alyssa] You know what? I'm not sending this.
[Alyssa] Hey, Big Mac, what day is it today?
Don't call me that.
It's the first day of high school, Miss Schaffer.
Why are you taking a video?
Shouldn't we take a picture?
[Alyssa] I like video we used to take video all the time.
Okay, Spielberg.
[Alyssa] You can't outrun me, you know.
Mom!
Hey, everyone. So you might have seen
another thing going around called "cinnamon challenge"
and me and my friend here are gonna give it a whirl.
This is Mackenzie and she had surgery to fix her ACL.
But don't worry, they gave me the good stuff.
Okay, so we have some cinnamon, two spoons,
some water bottles and a bowl.
A bowl?
Sometimes people have to like spit back up.
This is gonna be awful.
We have to do at the same time, okay?
Okay.
Alright, when I say go. I'll count down from three.
I'm kind of freaked out.
Me too. Three, two, one, go.
Hello, Lucas.
So, uh, you're probably really confused to see me
and you're probably thinking, "When did Mac get my camera?"
Well it was when you were in Walmart getting stuff
for a science project because, you know,
so, yeah, I'm pretty sneaky I guess.
Why do you always keep this thing with you anyway?
I'm always watching.
Oh, shit, you're coming.
[instrumental music playing]
Hey, guys.
So I've been really getting into makeup recently
and I've been mainly watching by YouTube videos,
so, I thought I'd make one of my own
to maybe help some people.
This is what I'm gonna call my new everyday look.
I'm gonna do two steps, one at home
and one at school because my mom hates it.
But, you can do it all in one.
Like and subscribe below!
[pop music playing]
[Lucas] How's that knee feel?
Like brand new.
[Lucas] Ready to play next season?
I don't know.
[Lucas] How can you not know?
Don't you have like a countdown in your room?
My doctor's worried about it.
[Lucas] About re-tearing it?
You can wear a brace? Get it all strong and stuff.
Not that knee, the other one.
He's worried about me tearing that one too.
I have bad knees or something.
[Lucas] Wait, Mac.
What are you saying?
I guess soccer isn't my thing after all.
Lucas.
[Alyssa] See, Mackenzie, that was easy.
[Mac] I'm a good driver, mom.
[Alyssa] I know you are but this is just in case
you're in an accident for evidence.
You know your cousin Shannon could have sued that guy
if she had a dash cam.
Whatever.
♪ No matter what I do ♪
♪ What I say or I prove to the world ♪
♪ I'm not here ♪
♪ All the lies never leave me ♪
♪ And the pain keeps on keeping me into the world ♪
♪ I'm still not here ♪
[Mac] Lucas Parker, over here! Lucas Parker!
So, you had quite the game today.
A goal and an assist!
What do you have to say about that?
Oh, team played really great, you know,
we work together and that kind of stuff happens.
[Mac] Uh, but, I mean, like that's two goals
because of you, screw the team.
-Yeah. -[Mac] You just won the state championship.
What are you, what are you gonna do now?
I'm gonna ask Katie out.
[Mac] Oh, oh.
Uh, gotta kick some balls to get some balls. I guess.
Oh, oh, wow!
♪ First of all let me say ♪
♪ I must apologize for acting, stinking, treating you this way ♪
♪ Cause I've been acting like sour milk out on the floor ♪
♪ It's your fault you didn't close the refrigerator ♪
♪ Maybe that's the reason I've been acting so cold ♪
-I did it! -[Lucas] Yeah!
Lucas Parker, delete that right now!
-[Lucas] No! -Delete it!
[Lucas] Or what?
I will stop this car and you can get your ride home.
[Lucas] I've heard that before.
Why are you so close?
-[Lucas] I gotta... Okay, go. -Okay.
Go for it.
Yeah, there you go.
I did it.
[Lucas] What are you looking at?
I'm just looking at you.
Hey, I'm back. Here you go.
[Lucas] Thanks.
-Wanna take a picture? -[Lucas] Yeah, go for it.
Mm-hmm.
-Vogue! Vogue! Vogue! -Is it cute?
-[Lucas] Yes. -Let me see.
[pop music playing]
[Alyssa] Go ahead! Open it.
Sure you're gonna want this video if I don't get in?
[Alyssa] Rejection letters do not come in big envelopes.
Open it!
Okay, fine, whatever.
[Alyssa] What does it say?
I'm on the waitlist.
[Alyssa] Oh, honey, that's okay, that's still really good.
So much for big envelopes.
-Hey, mom, could you stop please. -[Alyssa] Oh, yeah.
[reporter] Pearson high school's own Lucas Parker signed today.
He will attend Northern Indiana University next fall.
Parker has been Pearson's shining star athlete
for the last two years and was heavily recruited during his final season.
It'd be better from this angle, if I can catch this.
Okay, are you ready.
-You sure you don't want me to hold-- -No, no, I've got it.
Okay, one, two, three.
[Lucas] I caught it again.
It's okay, here, try one more time.
-Go. -Three!
Three!
-Dang! -[Lucas] Are you scared of it or...?
No! Three!
-I give up. -[Lucas] Oh! That catch!
[music playing]
[Lucas] Mackenzie, what are you doing?
-I'm dancing! -[Lucas] Yeah, I can see that.
Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Uh-huh!
Wow!
[Lucas] Come on, come on!
I think this party is going to be so great.
-Uh-huh. -Wait a minute.
-Uh-huh. -We're here.
This way, this way!
[singing]
Hey, um,
so Mr. Henries had our graduating class do a time capsule,
but, I didn't put anything in there
because I didn't want any kindergartner in 2030,
whatever, digging through any of my crap.
But, um,
it was a good idea I guess, so, I figured I'd make one for myself.
Just for fun.
Um, so I just graduated.
Yay!
This summer was pretty cool too.
Lucas, Lucas is great,
he's pretty busy all the time, though.
He's always at practice or working out or something.
I think he's worried he's not going to be good enough,
but I'm not worried at all.
I'm not really excited about going to college.
Lucas is going to Indiana and I'm going to be here in Missouri,
so, that sucks.
Katie's going to Georgia,
they're going to try the whole long distance thing,
which I think is a terrible idea, but, he loves her, so.
Sometimes, when I think about it I'm...
I just, I don't really want to go to college.
It just freaks me out because...
I don't really know who I am or
what I want to do
and I think,
I think the classes might be really hard because I...
really didn't study the way that I should have in high school,
but, but it is what it is now, right?
So...
I mean, I mean, we don't know what's gonna happen,
but, um,
we'll find out soon.
[sad music playing]
[crying]
Ugh! Come on.
[car engine starts]
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy birthday dear Mackenzie ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
[Alyssa] Mac?
Baby?
Mackenzie, Mackenzie!
Mackenzie, wake up!
Oh, my God!
What is wrong with you?
[babbling]
Did you take these?
[babbling]
Mac, did you take these?
[babbling]
Why did you take Oxies?
[Mac] I'm sleeping.
Where did you get these?
[mumbling]
Mackenzie!
Did you take both these at the same time?
Oh, my God!
Babe, why would you do that?
Oh, my God! Where's my phone?
Where the hell is my phone?
Shit!
Happy birthday, Mackenzie.
I wanna make this video because I wanted you to have something
right when you woke up the minute that you woke up,
but I also wanted to show you this.
Ta-da!
Ta-da! Check this out.
Yeah, the team helped me bring that in.
It's heavy.
What.
What is that?
Is that Mackenzie original hanging on my wall?
Damn! Look at that!
See? I'm gonna see that every single day. Thank you.
Anyways I just want to wish you a happy birthday.
I hope you had a good night, hope you have a good day.
Yeah I'm gonna call you later. Love you lots.
Bye!
[Alyssa] Come on! Give a tour for grandma.
Oh, I mean there's not really much to tour, but, okay.
This is Jenna's side, my roommate.
I met her earlier, she seems pretty cool.
This is my side,
we got this comforter at Bed Bath & Beyond on sale
which I'm very proud of.
Oh, my pictures.
I... I don't know if I like them.
I tried to make collage but I don't think it worked well,
but, uh, here's my desk and...
[Alyssa] No, don't do that.
Keep it there so you don't forget.
But grandma doesn't know.
[Mac] Uh, Hey, Jenna.
What are you watching?
No! You're gonna laugh.
[Mac] What? Why?
Because you watch scary stuff all the time.
[Mac] Just tell me what you're watching.
Doctor Who.
[chuckles]
Okay, oh, my God! Stop, it's scary okay.
You don't... Wow! Shit, what the heck?
[Mac] Why is it scary?
Just stop videoing me, Mackenzie.
-[Mac] It's really not that bad. -You're so rude.
-[Mac] Oh, are you gonna cry? -This is bad. Okay, bye.
[Jenna] Okay, so, just answer the questions as naturally as you can, thank you.
Well, like, right now?
[Jenna] Well, yes right now, it's due in ten minutes.
-Jenna, what are you...? -[Jenna] What?
Okay, fine.
Well, I'd like to finish my sandwich, but let's go.
[Jenna] Sorry.
Okay, what's your first impression to people who meet you?
Um...
I think people think I'm pretty standoffish,
but I don't think that's totally accurate of me, um...
[Jenna] That's funny.
-I just look really tired sometimes. -[Jenna] Right.
But, I think people think I'm nice enough.
[Jenna] Okay. What sort of first impression do you desire?
[chuckles] Desire.
With that I'm, hello, hi...
[Jenna] I just had to get your sandwich and your outfit, sorry.
-Yeah, you said desire, um... -[Jenna] Yes.
That I'm confident, I'd really like people to think I'm confident
and that I'm a good friend and that I care.
Hey Lucas, um,
I know you're sleeping because I called you like three times
and you usually answer.
Your voicemail box isn't set up yet
so I decided I just make this little video.
Sorry.
Um...
I can't sleep.
I had a macchiato at eight
and didn't realize it would still be in my system.
So...
I don't know,
just want to talk to you,
yeah.
It's hard sometimes.
Everything's fine, but it's just,
it's hard sometimes.
-[rock music playing] -[man] And go!
Yeah, go team!
[Lucas] What are you on right now?
The bumper.
[man 2] Yo! Look, she's out of it.
[man laughs] Dude. What do you think she took?
[man 2] I can't even tell you, she's leaving right now.
Check me out, bro.
[man] Oh, don't touch her, that's fucked up.
[man 2] Watch bro, look.
Boom, bro!
Oxies, man.
This girl is on Venus right now, man.
-Shit. -That's crazy.
Guys, it is 2:30 in the afternoon.
My roommate is the heaviest sleeper I've ever met.
This is unacceptable.
So, I'm gonna try something.
Watch.
[pop music playing]
Hey, girl!
What? I'm sorry.
Ah! You bitch!
Sorry, no, I'm not sorry.
Well, we did what we came here to do, which is play hard,
take advantage of every opportunity
the opposing team gave us
and, uh, for that, you know, I'm proud of our team
and everything we accomplished here today.
[reporter] Parker, how did it feel competing in your first tournament?
Well, I mean, this is the first one with these boys
and, I don't know how it could have felt better or worse
but now we got a title to defend
and I don't think any of us take that lightly.
Thank you, thank you.
[Alyssa] Do you like the decorations?
Um, yeah, they're just...
Oh, my gosh!
What! When did you get here? You said you were in Vegas!
I know, I know, I squeezed in a day.
-Mom, you knew? -[Alyssa] Surprise!
-[Lucas] Yeah. Ready. -Okay.
Oh, no, that's not what...
[Lucas] Hey, Mac, you're bleeding.
-Hmm? -[Lucas] You're bleeding.
Oh, I just must have busted a scab, it's fine.
-[Lucas] Is that fresh? You said you were getting better. -I am, stop.
So, I haven't really done this in a while,
but, um,
it's been really hard being back home.
Even harder than I thought it would be.
Even see my friend Lucas was hard,
because he's...
he's living the dream.
He's always done everything right and I'm just like this...
major fuck up
and I don't...
I don't want to be like this,
but every day it's just, uh...
It's really hard... [gasps]
hard to wake up.
It's hard to go to sleep.
And I want to be happy because everybody else is happy
but I can't.
I can't...
Kenzie, you have read receipts on.
Hey, I know you're getting my texts.
I'm worried about you,
I don't know if you're being serious, if you're joking,
but you're starting to scare the shit out of me, okay?
So just please tell me what's going on.
[indistinct chatter]
This isn't you.
[sobbing]
So...
Lucas and I just got in this
fucking huge fight
and I don't have anyone to talk about it with
because I don't have any friends
and I didn't realize that until now.
He was just like begging me to call him so I did
and then he just kept saying,
"This isn't you and you're acting weird and stuff"
but he just doesn't get it.
This is who I am.
I'm the emotional fuck-up that is flunking
her first semester in college
and I don't have any friends because I'm a bad person.
I'm not a good friend I...
he just doesn't get it.
He doesn't know
the things that I thought, he doesn't know.
He just doesn't know
how hard I'm trying
not to be just a fuck up.
He doesn't get it.
God, I look pathetic.
[car door beeping]
[no audible dialogue]
What's that?
[inaudible]
[laughter]
[chatter in the background]
I don't think I can do this anymore.
[sobbing]
Everyday it's just really awful.
And I'm just really tired feeling this bad all the time.
It hurts so much
and nothing anybody says helps, nothing I do helps.
It's just like there's this hole in my chest
and it won't go away.
So, I just don't think it's worth it anymore,
because I don't have a future
and I'm just like this big burden on everybody that I love
and I know they're getting sick of me because...
I keep fucking up.
But I'm trying.
I'm trying so hard,
but every day is just like my own personal hell.
So mommy I'm... I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry, mommy.
I love you and I'm so sorry,
you've always been so good to me
even when I was being a bitch, I'm sorry mommy.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
And Lucas,
thank you for being my friend even when I didn't deserve it.
And I know you're gonna be an amazing soccer player.
I'm already...
I'm already so proud of you, okay?
I don't think I can do this anymore...
[wailing]
God, I wish I wasn't doing this.
But I've already...
I've already taken a lot of these, so...
I'm so sorry.
Are you ready?
[Alyssa] Yep, I am.
Hey, Mac.
I'm making this video so that you, uh,
you know you have something when you wake up.
They won't let me be here.
I tried.
You're asleep right now.
You know, uh, when your mom called me
and told me what happened
the first thing that I thought about
was when we were kids
and we'd watch Scooby-Doo
over and over and over again on repeat.
And then we started dressing up like them to watch it.
Remember?
And you were always Daphne.
I was always Scooby, and we'd just...
I care about you so much, Mac.
We all do.
You're like, you're like this amazing light in our life.
You know, and the...
the idea of that light
just going out.
[sighs]
Mac, there's nothing that you can ever do
that'll ever change the way I feel about you.
I will always love you anyway,
always.
[Dr. Carter] I'm gonna record again.
Is that still okay?
Yeah, sure.
[Dr. Carter] How are you feeling today, Mackenzie?
Um.
The withdraw is over, so, better I guess.
I haven't been...
totally sober in a while.
I usually have a beer or something
to take the edge off, you know.
[Dr. Carter] How does it feel?
Not so great.
I just...
have a lot to think about.
[Dr. Carter] Must be frightening.
Um...
I just keep thinking about...
my mom's face
when she found me.
It's blurry but I still remember.
She was really scared.
I didn't want her to be scared, I just wanted it to be over.
[Dr. Carter] It?
No...
the way I was feeling.
I just wanted it to stop.
I guess that's why I took the oxies in the first place and it worked.
[Dr. Carter] It worked,
but then it stopped working.
Yeah, and...
I don't know, I guess...
life just seemed pretty impossible without it.
Hey, sweetie.
I just got back from grandma's funeral.
It was nice.
Simple, I guess.
A lot of people asked about you,
asked how you were doing,
so, I told them you were doing better
but that seemed to confuse them,
so, I started trying to explain
and then I started crying
and they backed off, which was nice, I guess.
You know, I didn't understand at first
why you chose not to come with me today,
because I really,
I really needed you there with me more than anything.
But when I saw the casket
it just reminded me how close I was to losing you too.
But, you, my girl,
you are a fighter.
You are so strong and so beautiful.
And I know you might think
this whole thing has just made you weak or ugly,
but that is so not true.
You have to believe me.
My mother wasn't always there for me,
but I am always gonna be there for you
and don't you forget that, Mac.
Not ever.
Um, so, I don't have phone privileges in here.
So, Rhonda is helping me film.
Um...
I have depression and...
I got addicted to drugs
when I started using them to manage my emotions.
But, I've been in rehab for two months now
and I'm working through it.
When I was a kid I used to play guitar all the time.
And at my lowest point I sold it for drugs.
But I wrote a song and I'd like you guys to hear it
and I hope it helps.
♪ Take my hand ♪
♪ I promise it gets better, just around the bend ♪
♪ Hear my voice ♪
♪ Don't let it get lost in all your mental noise ♪
♪ Your road has been hard, but the journey's not complete ♪
♪ You're worth fighting for, and a person I'd like to meet ♪
♪ I'd like to meet you ♪
♪ I'd like to know ♪
♪ What you felt at your lowest low ♪
♪ I'd like to meet you ♪
♪ And I'd like to know ♪
♪ What you felt at your lowest low ♪
Happy birthday, Lucas.
I get to call you later, but, I just wanted you to know
that we're all here rooting for you,
um, you have some new fans by the way, but, uh,
it seems to me, sir, you're moving a little slow.
I think that's you.
Gonna need to see some more hustle.
All right, I'll call you later, bye.
Hi, Lucas.
I stole your phone, like the good old days.
I didn't go through your photos or anything
but you should really change your passcode,
you've had the same one since like fifth grade.
Oh, a message from...
Katie.
Are you guys...
are you guys back together.
I mean, are you holding out at me, Parker?
Oh, cause we're gonna talk about this when you wake up,
if you ever do...
[applause]
Okay, um, thanks, guys.
Uh...
I didn't think leaving rehab would be bittersweet,
but, I guess I owe it to all the amazing people here,
so...
Um, I know this hasn't been easy for anyone,
especially my family,
and, when I got here
I wanted to stay alive for them,
but...
now I want to stay alive for me.
The world still scares me and...
I have no idea what my life looks like three months from now
and that terrifies me,
but I want it
and that's something I honestly couldn't have said three months ago.
I want to say thank you to my mom
for being my rock no matter what,
and just,
yeah, always being there.
Thank you to all the amazing people here
that were determined to get through to me,
especially Dr. Carter.
And, um,
I want to call out Lucas, specifically,
because he flew all the way out here
from Indianapolis,
even when I said it wasn't a big deal.
Okay.
So, Lucas, you have always been my best friend.
And...
you've always chosen to see me.
The real me.
Even when I couldn't or didn't want to.
And, you made me laugh through the tears
and hugged me when I really, really needed it.
So, thanks for being the best friend
a depressed girl could ask for.
-[chuckles] -[applause]
[music playing]
-Daniel. -All right.
So, it's just we're doing the C, and then a B, into the E.
These are minor, those two are minor.
[vocalizing]
-Are we picking, or-- -Do a little finger pick.
-Yeah, yeah. -Okay.
-Nice. -[plays wrong notes]
Aw... Shut up.
-Shut up! -No, no, no!
You're nervous because of the camera.
I found the key, I found the key.
I don't know the key. I found it, I found it again.
Thought you were supposed to be a musician?
I'm nailing it.
Thought you were supposed to be this really cool...
And maybe you are, a little bit.
-I found it, I found it! -...this whole time.
-Sell yourself a little short. -[laughs]
[Alyssa] Excuse me,
could you help me find a copy of Ana Karenina?
Mom, what are you doing here?
[Alyssa] I wanted to catch you in your natural habitat.
Since when do you read classic novels?
[Alyssa] I read a lot, actually.
Okay, well, if you'll follow me this way.
We have it here.
You know this is huge, right?
Like, do you even have time to read this?
[Alyssa] I'll find time.
-All right. -[Alyssa] Thank you.
What excellent service.
Well, you know, we try, we try, so, please, please come back.
[Daniel] Boom, three hours post tattoo.
Time for the big reveal, you ready?
Yep, here we go.
-[Daniel] Why are you going so slow? -It hurts.
[Daniel] That hurt-- you got a tattoo and it's the tape that hurts?
-Yes. -[Daniel] Just take-- just rip it off.
-Shut up! Slow and steady. -[Daniel] Go, go, go!
Damn.
Wow!
-[Daniel] What do you think? -I really like it.
[Daniel] Well, good, you're stuck with it forever now.
I'm stuck with it forever!
Lucas come here, come here!
Stop, okay.
-Okay, you have the ring? -Yes, of course.
All right, you ready for this, Parker?
-Yeah, you? -Yeah.
Dan, thank you for doing this, by the way.
[Daniel] Dude, it's an honor.
-[cellphone beeps] -Oh!
Katie just got here.
You ready?
-It's game time! -All right, go.
[Daniel] Ready, babe?
Yeah, uh, let's do this.
Katie, I love you.
Ever since I asked you out three years ago to this day
I knew you were special.
I never knew how kind and smart
and insanely beautiful...
There's nothing that I want more than spend the rest of my life with you
as soon as possible.
Katie...
-Will you marry me? -Oh, God.
-Yeah? -Yeah!
[squeals] So cute!
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, it's beautiful!
What?
Guys, what?
It's so pretty, you did so good.
Oh...
Love you too.
[Mac] Um, I have no idea what I'm doing.
Okay.
That's the zoom, you're doing right now,
that's the zoom and you can use that if you want to,
everything else is on auto, though.
-[Mac] Okay, I got it. -Get it, you ready? All right.
Day one of the road trip and, uh, so far I think
Mackenzie has eaten all the snacks.
[Mac] No, I haven't, you liar. I left you some carrots.
Carrots? That's all we have left?
We are going to Dallas, uh, from my band's show.
[Mac] And where's your band, good sir?
They're in the other car.
[Mac] And why is that?
Because I wanted to spend some alone time with my girl.
[Mac] Eyes on the road, cool guy.
It's a red light.
-Turn the camera off. -[Mac] Okay, look at me.
[live music]
[Mac cheering]
-[man] Do you want some? -[Mac] Oh!
-[man] Do you want some? -[Mac] No, no, thanks.
Okay, um...
Lucas, I FaceTimed you like six times,
so, I guess you're pretty busy,
but, um...
I'm in Dallas with Daniel and...
you were right.
I really didn't want you to be right, but, you were right
and I think this is all just a bit too much for me
because some guy just offered me coke
and it was really hard to say no
and I could have done it but I didn't.
Daniel's still inside.
He's gonna kill me when he finds out that I left.
Shit.
But, um, just... just call me back when you can, okay?
Kenzie, Kenz!
Hey, what's up, what are you doing?
Let me in, I just, I just want to talk to you.
[Mac] Are you fucking high right now?
No! God, no, of course not.
[Mac] Daniel, you said you wouldn't do anything
if I came with you.
Look, just, just come inside, okay?
We're about to put...
-[Mac] No, fuck this. -We can talk about this.
Hey!
Hey, where the fuck?
You can't take my car, bitch!
Hello, world. Mackenzie here.
I just decided to make this video because...
I didn't have it for me
when I was battling my depression,
and um...
I just felt that it was really important.
Today is the one-year anniversary
of when I attempted suicide.
A lot has changed since then, um...
but a lot is still the same.
Like I still have depression,
um...
some days are better than others,
and um...
my future and who I want to be in this world is still...
really fuzzy to me and overwhelming for me to think about.
But, I want it.
Hi, everybody.
My name is Mackenzie
and this is my first time performing.
This is dedicated to my best friend Lucas,
wherever you are.
He knows that I'm too competitive
to turn down a bet, so.
This one's for you Lucas.
♪ I remember us so clearly ♪
♪ Like it was yesterday ♪
Tonight, Northern Indiana University's star soccer player
is in critical condition after a deadly car crash.
Lucas Parker and his fiancée, Katie Hamilton,
were hit by a drunk driver just before nine o'clock
at the intersection of Shelbyville and Hurstbourne.
Parker was transported to Baptist East Hospital
in critical condition.
The crash was caused by an oncoming drunk driver
who died at the scene.
♪ As they'll be forever memories ♪
♪ There will always be another day ♪
♪ Forever memories ♪
♪ This could be a higher way ♪
[applause]
Thank you, guys.
So, uh...
obviously I'm not Lucas, even though this his Instagram.
As some of you probably heard earlier, Lucas was...
in a car crash
and it's something to do with his head or his brain.
It's... It's really bad.
So, we can really use your thoughts and prayers, please.
[heart monitor beeping]
♪ As time goes by ♪
♪ I'll be waiting for you ♪
♪ As time goes by ♪
♪ I'll be dreaming for you ♪
♪ When you open your eyes ♪
♪ The sunrise will be here for you ♪
♪ I'll be here for you ♪
♪ When you're sharing your stories ♪
♪ My smile will look right back at you ♪
♪ So please will you ♪
♪ Just open your eyes ♪
♪ The sun will shine bright when you're with me ♪
♪ Just open your eyes ♪
♪ Can't go another night to see you like this ♪
♪ Just open your eyes ♪
♪ The sun will shine bright when you're with me ♪
♪ Just open your eyes ♪
♪ I can't go another night to see you like this ♪
♪ But we'll get through this ♪
Hey.
You're gonna have a lot of these videos
when you wake up, so, sorry not sorry.
[laughs] I guess.
It's just really hard not talking to you.
I know what it's like
to have to fight to stay alive.
To want to even,
and I know that you are Lucas,
but please, I need you
to fight harder
and I hope that somehow you know that I'm fighting too.
Every day is so hard.
I want to reuse and I want to slip back into old habits
but I'm not and I won't,
because, I'm going to be there for you.
The same way you were for me.
Attempt number 200.
Whatever to get you to wake up.
[music playing]
Oh!
-Hey. -Hey.
[music stops]
I just came to check on him before I leave.
Yeah.
God, it's so hard to look at him.
Oh, I mean his hair just needs a little work, you know.
I don't know how I'm gonna do this.
Katie, we're all just taking it day by day.
No, Mac,
like...
I don't know if I can.
What do you mean?
It's just, like...
this is a lot.
All the time, I'm all messed up too.
Katie, he's gonna wake up, he's...
It was my fault.
What?
I ran the light.
It was yellow already but I hit the gas.
I mean, we were running late and I hate running...
The drunk hit us but I put us there.
I mean, if we hadn't been going so fast,
that...
it wouldn't have been that he wouldn't...
-Katie... -I'm sorry.
Shit!
Hey, everyone.
Just wanted to give you guys a quick update.
Look who woke up!
Thank you guys for all your notes and encouragement.
No, seriously, like, you're the best.
He has some tests he has to go do, so, we'll talk to you guys later.
Bye!
[laughing]
What are you doing?
[Mac] I was just trying to get you to wake up.
This is so stupid!
[Mac] Physical therapy day one!
Parker! Parker! Parker!
He really likes the blanket you made him, mom,
especially because it matches the bear that Katie got him,
but I don't know where that's at, but...
Oh...
Day 23.
Wait, Lucas, where's your crutches.
It's no big deal, Mac.
[Mac] Yes, it is, you're going to hurt yourself, stop.
It doesn't matter, Mackenzie.
[Mac] Lucas, listen to me.
I need to. Mackenzie, it's fine, just put...
[Mac] Lucas look what came in the...
Are you okay?
No...
My doctor told my coach that I couldn't play next season,
so they cut me.
[Mac] Lucas, I'm...
I'm sorry.
Is that your letter?
[Mac] Yeah, but...
-Come on, pass me the camera. -[Mac] No.
Your mom always wants recordings of this stuff.
[Mac] We don't have to.
[Lucas] Alright, step one, go back.
-Here. -[Lucas] Yeah, that's good.
-Are you sure? -[Lucas] Yes.
I like that.
I got in.
[Lucas] Yeah, congrats.
Seriously.
[Mac] Welcome home.
Where are you going?
I don't know. I'm just kind of tired, Mac.
[Mac] Oh, okay. Yeah, that's fine.
Thanks for the poster, it's cool.
[Mac] Yeah, do you need anything?
No, I'll just take a nap.
[Mac] Okay.
Good job, strong kicks.
Nice!
Okay, stop.
There you go, nice!
[door bell rings]
-Hi, here's the rest of your stuff. -Thanks.
How is he?
He's doing okay.
See you around.
I'm glad,
you know, that, um,
you were there for him during all this
when I couldn't be.
He's really lucky.
Well, he's...
he's my best friend, so...
[soccer game playing on TV]
We're gonna get it.
Lucas we're gonna get it, we're gonna get it.
Still got a long way to go.
Yeah, but, they're making a comeback.
Katie.
Hey...
Hey, Katie!
What are you doing here?
They, they cut me, but,
but you already knew that, huh?
I didn't know that.
Yeah, you did. That's why you dumped me.
Because I couldn't play soccer anymore.
That's not true and you know it.
As soon as things get tough, Katie's out. Good-bye.
Jump ship.
You need to go.
I can't believe you dumped me.
You dumped your crippled fiancé...
You wanted to be over too.
No, no, no I didn't.
I remember the way that you looked at me
in the hospital.
Every day,
like...
like it was all my fault.
Like I took away everything that you ever...
How were we supposed to get married when you looked at me like that.
No, that's bullshit. Bullshit.
So you can't reply to my texts,
but you can show up to my house drunk?
That's bullshit, Lucas.
[sobs]
Um.
Hey, Lucas.
I've been...
thinking about this a lot
and it's really hard for me to say,
but,
things are getting out of control,
and, I've told you this before
but you didn't believe me and you really should.
I couldn't even get you to the couch this time
before you passed out.
Look, I know what it's like to just hate everything.
To resent everything and everyone.
I know what it's like
better than most people.
I know what you're going through but it has to stop.
If not for you then for me.
It's not easy for me to be around you
when you're so out of it
because it makes me want to be out of it too.
God knows it feels great to just check out
when things get bad, but I can't do that anymore.
So,
consider this your wake-up call, your intervention or whatever.
You can be so much more than this, Lucas.
You are so much more than this.
Um...
so for now, I'm not gonna come over.
I know it doesn't seem like it but there...
is more to life than Katie and soccer.
Your future looks different now but that doesn't have to be a bad thing.
Alright.
Alright, Lucas.
You're gonna watch this every single morning
and you're gonna remember these three things.
One,
you gotta take it day by day,
alright, and every day, I mean, something's just gonna get a little bit better.
Two,
enough with the booze, man, it doesn't do shit.
And three, like,
you're doing this for yourself for the man that you know that you are, but,
but you're doing it for Mac.
Because you love her
and you can't keep hurting her like this.
Okay. Every day.
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
Okay.
Mom, are you recording a video?
She always records, you know that.
[Alyssa] Mm-hmm.
You'll be thankful for these videos one day, okay?
Trust me.
Actually, Mac.
While the camera is out.
Are you gonna open it?
"Best coach."
Yeah you're not too bad with your kids
and with me.
I can still kick a soccer ball, wait for it...
Whatever, God.
[Lucas] She won't even look up, watch.
Hey, Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac!
What?
[Lucas] What you doing?
What do you think I'm doing? What are you doing?
[Lucas] Uh? Homework?
[Mac] Come on, let's hustle, let's hustle!
Yo, what time is it?
Alright.
Keep up the pace.
[Mac] Wait, Lucas, what, what was your career assessment?
-Okay, Mac, please no... -[Mac] Stop!
Vegas Entertainer.
-Wow! What would you even do? -I don't even know, Mac.
[Mac] You know what? Oh, Magic Lucas.
Uh-huh.
[Mac] I think thousands of people will pay to come and see you.
I just wasted 30 minutes of my life on this.
[Mac] Vegas!
[Alyssa] Guys! Come on! You're gonna miss it.
[countdown on TV]
Happy new year!
Lucas Parker.
What does this say?
What? "Mac I am writing this
from the plane." Is that plane?
Um, "I keep thinking about what
something year old Lucas would say,"
Oh 12-year-old Lucas would say.
Why,
why did we, the plastic?
Oh, why did we wait till the last day.
I don't know why, why did we wait.
Hey, Mac.
On my way to the library.
Bring my study on.
See what's up, see what you're doing.
I had a walk, uh, I had to walk through the soccer field today
and the whole team was there, so.
It wasn't that great but, but, hey, I gotta,
I got a kinesiology midterm to study for, so.
Call me in like, what, three hours.
I'll definitely need to pick me up.
Bye.
So, my mom really misses you, Lucas.
Yep.
All I do is sit in my room all day listening to sad music.
It's pitiful, really.
Yeah, but, it's okay, because,
Mac bought me plane tickets.
Wait, what, I didn't...
Oh, my God, wait, are you serious?
-Yeah. -Wait a minute.
Are you... Are you into this Parker?
What is happening? I got to pack. Hold on.
How many are you taking?
[Lucas] I haven't taken one yet.
Hurry up. It's cold.
Did you take it?
-[Lucas] It might be a video. -What?
Is there something you want to remember about this, Parker?
[Lucas] Always.
Here.
What are you thinking about?
Thinking about how this feels really great.
And how it feels really good to feel right again.
♪ Take my hand ♪
♪ Please don't worry about the scars that you still hide ♪
How are you feeling, miss Parker?
I'm feeling pretty great, Mr. Parker.
Mm-hmm. Good, because, uh, well,
I don't know if you know this, but, we're married.
-Oh! We're married! -[scoffs]
Only 17 hours left to go.
-Yeah! -Yeah!
Yeah, baby!
We're on our way to Florida.
Hey mama Schaffer.
We're in our new house.
Yeah, we are!
-How's that going? -Are you mocking me?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, see? You have no clue what you're doing!
[Lucas] Now what is an entrepreneur doing up so late?
What do you think?
[Lucas] Well, I would definitely go there
and I don't even play soccer anymore.
So, happy?
Yeah, it's been a long time.
I'm excited.
[Lucas] Hey, little guy!
It's okay.
That's okay, that's okay.
Yeah, yeah, hi.
That's okay, you're okay, you're okay.
[music playing]
♪ How long you been out? ♪
♪ You kick like a pup On the couch ♪
♪ Well, I'll keep My voice down ♪
♪ I forgot What I was festering about ♪
♪ It was something 'bout A kick I'm on ♪
♪ Something 'bout A kingdom come ♪
♪ It's something new Every month ♪
♪ But I swear this one's it ♪
♪ No more boy Who cried purpose ♪
♪ Who am I tryin' To convince? ♪
♪ Somewhere I lost track ♪
♪ Somewhere I lost track of it ♪
♪ How much time have I got? ♪
♪ You're the closest thing To a break I've caught ♪
♪ Like a dry heaving cough ♪
♪ How much time Do you think I've lost ♪
♪ Just staring At a warehouse clock? ♪
♪ Move that barrel Lift that box ♪
♪ Hell, man, it's a job ♪
♪ Don't you worry Come next year ♪
♪ We'll be on our feet I swear ♪
♪ Are these dreams Or they prayers? ♪
♪ Somewhere I lost track ♪
♪ Talking in your sleep again ♪
♪ Said, "We're in the home stretch" ♪
♪ I said under my breath ♪
♪ "You're all I could've wanted" ♪
♪ Somewhere I lost track ♪
[song ends]