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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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Proovime kohe <i>forte ’s</i>,

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kaks korda,
viimane noot on pikk.

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Ja siis tulete teie sisse…

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Ja siis lõpuosa.

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Hea küll, salvestame.

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Üks, kaks, kolm.

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Who said that painting your walls
was a relaxing and exhilarating activity?

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I think it’s a real pain.
You have to look up...

11
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And spend half the time
putting on your damned gloves.

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Ned, mida sa süüa tahad?
– Ma söön burgerit.

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Kurat!

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Anna mulle lihtsalt märku ja juhised…

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Kui sa süüa tahad,
siis meil on hamburgerit.

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Ma just mälun seda praegu.

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Jah, muidugi.

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Ma räägin imeliku häälega,
sest mul on suu sinu burgerit täis.

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Kas ma võin ühe ampsu võtta?
– Jah.

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See on hea burger.

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Kas kõik on korras?

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Only here do I get a reaction
like the one by that Estonian producer,

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who said that I was unpleasant
to look at on stage.

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It may seem like a far-fetched idea

25
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that female musicians
are treated differently in Estonia.

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It didn’t matter that I had won
four Danish Music Awards,

27
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that I have…

28
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I’m lost for words.

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When will I be good enough to be
just Maria Faust, fidgety, as I am?

30
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How am I supposed to play the saxophone wearing
high heels and keeping my legs together?

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How can I fucking balance myself like that?

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It’s physical work.

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Inside the suit I am sweltering.

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It’s hard work.

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You can’t do it like this…

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I guess I can park here.

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I refuse to give in to the idea
that this issue has been exhausted.

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We’ll keep talking about it
until things start getting better.

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Domestic violence is not a subject
that you see often in art.

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There are other feminist subjects, but…

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If you can write a book
about domestic violence and harassment,

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you can also write
a musical piece about it.

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I’d like to write <i>Mass of Mary</i>
not in order to find solutions,

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or to give instructions on how
to break the chain,

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but as a filtering process,

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and I’d just like to dedicate one
of my works to those who really need it.

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To those who don’t feel safe at home.

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The moment someone starts pressuring me
into doing something, I can’t take it.

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Why should pressuring someone be normal,
maybe it’s not normal.

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Maybe.

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I get that from my mum.

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Any kind of pressure from someone
makes me do the opposite.

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If I’m being pushed to play a role…

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My first husband,
as soon as we were married, changed.

55
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Suddenly.
I was given a role.

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For some reason,
joy disappeared from my life at once,

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and then I only had my duties.

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He wasn’t Estonian, or Russian,
he was Danish.

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These roles have stayed universal.

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It is what it is.

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I don’t really worry about
it, life just keeps going on.

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If you’d had eight husbands,

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you wouldn’t think about the fact
that all men are useless.

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No, I don’t think that all men are…
as my grandma used to say…

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Pigs?
– No, that’s not what I’m saying.

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I’m sure it’s possible…but I haven’t
succeeded, and so be it.

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So be it.

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Ma olen pillikeel.
– Sa oled pillikeel?

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Häid jõule!

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00:10:43,327 --> 00:10:46,286
I can’t describe him with just one word.

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Maybe... that he’s incredibly spirited.

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He’s smart, but there are certain things
he cannot solve.

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If he sees an obstacle,
he can’t see past it.

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But I like the way he knows how to dream.

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Without limits.

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He’s positive, and I’m negative.
I’m a pessimist.

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Maybe that’s what I like the most.

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He also knows how to calculate,

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but he doesn’t know how to make money,
or count it.

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He’s more of a spender.

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These are the Grammys.

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This is the highest one.

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One is missing.

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00:11:59,566 --> 00:12:04,166
And let’s not forget about the styling gel.

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00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:10,367
Show me the Lifetime Achievement
Award, please. – The so-called one.

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00:12:18,286 --> 00:12:24,526
I’ve always wondered which one
looks the most hideous.

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The one sitting on the toilet,
the critics award,

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or this one.

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In terms of their appearance.
What they represent is great.

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Here’s the one from Jazzkaar,
and other Estonian ones.

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They’re…

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They’re so heavy.

93
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I’d always had a plan.

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I was waiting for the time when
they would start playing my music.

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But that time never came.

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In my child’s mind,

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I understood that maybe
I’d have to play music by others first,

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and then it would be my turn, but that time
never came, not even at the academy.

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Nobody wanted to play my music,

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and nobody saw
why it should even be an option.

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I just remember that, as a child,

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00:15:13,766 --> 00:15:19,566
it really annoyed me
that nobody addressed me as a musician.

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It made me angry.

104
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My feelings were hurt

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and I didn’t understand
why I wasn’t taken seriously.

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Kas sa tead, kus veepudel on?

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Siin!
Võid selle täita.

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Puru vajub põhja ja saad kasutada.

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Võiks teha nii, et plaadi ühel poolel
on kasutatud efekte, aga teisel mitte.

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Heli ei ole veel töödeldud.

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Üks pool olekski ilma.

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00:17:02,046 --> 00:17:06,447
Jah, aga minu arvates annaks
miksimine palju juurde.

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Kombineerimine.

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Mõtle sellele, kuidas me räägime,

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kui edastame mingit sõnumit
või esitame argumente.

116
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See on mõjusam, kui esitusviis
on vaheldusrikas ja tõmbab tähelepanu…

117
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Jah, aga peab lugu jutustama.
– Ja.

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Lugu ei pea jutustama niiviisi…

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seda võib jutustada ka nii…

120
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Tõsi, aga üks viis, kuidas seda teha,
on hoida need osad lahus.

121
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See osa oleks täiesti eraldi,
sest mulle on hakanud meeldima,

122
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kui on ainult saksofon.

123
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See kõlab ümbritsevaga kokku.

124
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My career is on thin ice anyway.

125
00:18:07,766 --> 00:18:15,766
If I announced that I‘ve been
terribly abused, raped, traumatised,

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everybody’s reaction would be: “Really?

127
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Maybe you are craving more attention?

128
00:18:29,487 --> 00:18:32,647
Maybe your music is not strong enough?”

129
00:18:33,366 --> 00:18:35,366
I don’t need that.

130
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My music is very strong.

131
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To come to terms with all of that,
I make music.

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I dedicate myself to it every time.

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<i>Mass, Organ, Machina,</i>

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00:18:56,606 --> 00:19:03,046
that’s just one phase of my trauma stories.

135
00:19:03,526 --> 00:19:11,526
The trauma is not mine—I filter
what is around me, not myself.

136
00:19:14,167 --> 00:19:16,167
Have you been raped?

137
00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:19,447
I have.

138
00:19:25,606 --> 00:19:27,606
Yes, I have.

139
00:19:28,727 --> 00:19:33,046
But I think
that every other woman can say that.

140
00:19:40,126 --> 00:19:43,967
It leaves a mark on you
for the rest of your life.

141
00:19:44,207 --> 00:19:50,247
“Why are you always so pessimistic?”

142
00:19:50,447 --> 00:19:53,366
“Why are you always this or that?”

143
00:19:57,207 --> 00:20:02,366
Because you analyse each
and every compliment.

144
00:20:02,606 --> 00:20:07,126
I think about why the person
is paying me the compliment.

145
00:20:07,566 --> 00:20:09,086
It’s really sick.

146
00:20:09,286 --> 00:20:13,566
People pay me sincere compliments,

147
00:20:16,207 --> 00:20:18,687
but it makes me freeze.

148
00:20:23,086 --> 00:20:28,606
The worst thing is that I’m part
of the chain that keeps silent.

149
00:20:29,766 --> 00:20:33,126
I won’t jeopardise my career.

150
00:20:35,687 --> 00:20:37,687
I moved away,

151
00:20:40,566 --> 00:20:44,766
and, for me,
the most important thing is

152
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that I can continue with my work
as much as possible.

153
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If I brand myself as a victim,
I will remain one.

154
00:20:57,526 --> 00:21:02,887
But I’m not a victim.

155
00:22:30,846 --> 00:22:36,326
<i>Organ </i>tähendab kehaosa.

156
00:22:46,647 --> 00:22:54,647
Mul ei olnud plaanis kirjutada
kiidulaulu oma vagiinale, aga…

157
00:22:58,286 --> 00:23:00,526
Kui ma hakkasin seda kirjutama,

158
00:23:00,846 --> 00:23:06,766
tekkis sama tunne, mis tantsuklubis.

159
00:23:08,326 --> 00:23:11,566
Ainus, mis võimust võtab, on see…

160
00:23:15,647 --> 00:23:17,927
Sa ei kahetse midagi.

161
00:23:24,647 --> 00:23:28,407
See on nii oluline osa naise kehast.

162
00:23:30,046 --> 00:23:35,447
Kõik algas hormoonidest,
arusaamisega sellest, kes sa oled,

163
00:23:35,806 --> 00:23:39,967
ja mil määral hormoonid
määravad meie olemuse.

164
00:23:41,647 --> 00:23:43,647
Mul ei ole piisavalt kõrge östrogeenitase

165
00:23:43,887 --> 00:23:46,606
ja kui ma seda juurde võtsin,

166
00:23:46,846 --> 00:23:50,326
muutus mu iseloom tundmatuseni.

167
00:23:50,566 --> 00:23:54,007
Mul oli täiesti suva muusikast, meestest.

168
00:23:55,967 --> 00:23:59,566
Kell 7.30 hommikul
võis mind leida küüsi värvimas,

169
00:24:00,126 --> 00:24:02,126
kui ma östrogeeni võtsin.

170
00:24:03,887 --> 00:24:09,207
Siis ma mõistsin, kui palju see muudab.

171
00:24:19,167 --> 00:24:22,086
Hello!
Yes, are you downstairs?

172
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OK, I guess that’s the easiest way.

173
00:24:49,247 --> 00:24:53,526
It’s pointless to make any decisions now.

174
00:24:57,526 --> 00:24:59,526
It’s unbelievable how…

175
00:25:02,407 --> 00:25:06,126
You can see
that your partner is having a hard time,

176
00:25:07,487 --> 00:25:09,927
but you still have a go at them.

177
00:25:12,326 --> 00:25:17,806
I’d never have thought that the subject
matter of <i>Mass </i>would keep haunting me.

178
00:25:23,046 --> 00:25:27,366
As with In the <i>Beginning</i>...

179
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It ended with the same topic
that we had started with,

180
00:25:35,207 --> 00:25:41,286
the topic of forgiveness,

181
00:25:42,606 --> 00:25:47,046
and we’d never have thought
that we’d have to deal with forgiving

182
00:25:47,247 --> 00:25:50,247
after finishing the work,

183
00:25:50,487 --> 00:25:54,727
and I’d never have thought
I’d have to go through this.

184
00:25:55,647 --> 00:26:00,727
Writing a piece about domestic violence,
and experiencing its escalation myself.

185
00:26:01,086 --> 00:26:07,687
Shaking turned into choking,
so eventually I had to call the police.

186
00:26:07,967 --> 00:26:10,326
I’ve never experienced that before.

187
00:26:13,007 --> 00:26:15,727
Did it turn violent?
– Yes.

188
00:26:18,846 --> 00:26:20,846
He didn’t hit me.

189
00:26:21,167 --> 00:26:26,007
He pinches and pushes me.

190
00:26:29,487 --> 00:26:33,366
And won’t let me sleep.
He’s harassing me.

191
00:26:33,687 --> 00:26:37,647
He keeps waking me up,
he keeps calling everyone,

192
00:26:37,766 --> 00:26:42,207
filming me when I’m in bed,
from every angle.

193
00:26:42,526 --> 00:26:45,207
It’s constant abuse.

194
00:26:45,447 --> 00:26:49,967
Fortunately, the last two times there
were other people present.

195
00:26:50,126 --> 00:26:53,046
Otherwise, I’d think I was imagining it.

196
00:26:53,647 --> 00:26:55,647
You lose track.

197
00:26:56,126 --> 00:27:02,086
A violent relationship is not bad
all the time.

198
00:27:02,326 --> 00:27:05,647
It’s not like I’m being beaten
by a drunkard.

199
00:27:08,126 --> 00:27:11,086
Usually I just let him do what he wants,

200
00:27:11,687 --> 00:27:13,887
then there’s an explosion
and he comes back.

201
00:27:14,207 --> 00:27:17,007
Right now there’s nothing happening.

202
00:27:18,806 --> 00:27:22,366
If you start thinking about it…

203
00:27:23,647 --> 00:27:29,286
If I start hesitating before saying
that I love him,

204
00:27:29,526 --> 00:27:31,887
it means that I don’t.

205
00:27:33,207 --> 00:27:36,846
I won’t express any opinions right now,

206
00:27:37,086 --> 00:27:40,207
because I’m not in a good place in my life.

207
00:27:40,766 --> 00:27:44,687
I’ve just lost my friend Esta,
my mum is in the intensive care unit.

208
00:27:45,967 --> 00:27:50,447
The timing is terrible
for making these decisions.

209
00:27:51,727 --> 00:27:58,887
I’ll wait until I can think straight.

210
00:28:01,126 --> 00:28:04,566
Emotionally, I’m used to it.

211
00:28:04,846 --> 00:28:12,407
I’m very emotional. I don’t make
decisions in a state like this.

212
00:28:12,927 --> 00:28:19,526
I always wait it out and think it over.

213
00:29:07,806 --> 00:29:13,887
I’m still not sure
that we can work it out.

214
00:29:16,086 --> 00:29:19,126
It’s just so good to live alone.

215
00:29:23,526 --> 00:29:25,526
We’ll see.

216
00:29:51,046 --> 00:29:54,447
It’s hard to explain,
but to put it bluntly…

217
00:29:54,967 --> 00:29:58,566
The farmer may want a wife,

218
00:29:58,806 --> 00:30:02,766
but Estonian women have to search
for someone to hook up with.

219
00:30:03,086 --> 00:30:05,086
You just can’t get laid here.

220
00:30:05,727 --> 00:30:08,366
I don’t know how women in Estonia cope.

221
00:30:09,126 --> 00:30:17,126
If you ask someone directly,
you get this shocked reaction.

222
00:30:17,967 --> 00:30:21,086
A woman is not expected
to make the first move.

223
00:30:21,487 --> 00:30:25,046
It makes me feel stupid,

224
00:30:25,447 --> 00:30:28,286
as if I’ve said something indecent.

225
00:30:29,366 --> 00:30:35,566
Younger men hit on me,
send texts at night,

226
00:30:35,887 --> 00:30:41,647
but when I ask them directly
what they want,

227
00:30:42,766 --> 00:30:47,487
I get a vague reply.

228
00:30:48,046 --> 00:30:52,647
It’s confusing. Anyway, I don’t care,
the shop is closed now.

229
00:30:53,566 --> 00:30:55,927
What would Ned think of your search?

230
00:30:56,606 --> 00:30:59,566
I’m not searching for anything.
It’s just an observation.

231
00:31:00,967 --> 00:31:03,766
I just notice these situations…

232
00:31:04,007 --> 00:31:06,286
I like observing people, too…

233
00:31:10,566 --> 00:31:12,806
Basically,
I haven’t seen my husband since April.

234
00:31:13,247 --> 00:31:18,806
Should I just fucking pack up
a part of me? Come on!

235
00:31:25,286 --> 00:31:27,526
I’ll get back to work now.

236
00:31:28,687 --> 00:31:30,927
They’re building something there,
I guess.

237
00:31:32,887 --> 00:31:35,086
You can hear the pounding.

238
00:31:37,447 --> 00:31:40,407
Yeah, I’ve also heard some buzzing.

239
00:31:46,766 --> 00:31:49,526
I can even change up to second gear here.

240
00:31:50,326 --> 00:31:53,326
Keep this open.

241
00:31:54,286 --> 00:31:57,447
How many times have I started my life over?

242
00:31:58,247 --> 00:31:59,887
I won't give up.

243
00:32:00,286 --> 00:32:02,286
In your right hand.

244
00:32:03,366 --> 00:32:06,007
That’s how you unfold it.

245
00:32:06,286 --> 00:32:08,286
Listen carefully.

246
00:32:08,846 --> 00:32:10,846
That’s how it unravels.

247
00:32:14,126 --> 00:32:16,126
Put this on the first flag.

248
00:32:16,366 --> 00:32:19,247
From below?
– No. From above.

249
00:32:19,566 --> 00:32:21,566
On the first flag.

250
00:32:22,007 --> 00:32:26,366
Here, put this down.
And place it like this.

251
00:32:27,687 --> 00:32:30,046
Hold it, and start going.

252
00:32:32,606 --> 00:32:34,766
Wait, don’t go yet.
I won’t come with you.

253
00:32:34,967 --> 00:32:37,687
You won’t,
but I had it in the bucket earlier.

254
00:32:41,447 --> 00:32:44,286
Let’s see if I can untangle it.

255
00:32:45,967 --> 00:32:51,687
And now?
So now I just hold it?

256
00:32:52,207 --> 00:32:53,647
Of course, you just hold it.

257
00:33:04,007 --> 00:33:08,967
Is the water warm? – It’s very warm,
and makes me want to dive in.

258
00:33:16,366 --> 00:33:18,887
Now it’s tangled up.

259
00:33:24,967 --> 00:33:26,967
But I did it!

260
00:33:49,326 --> 00:33:51,526
Oh, it’s still attached to me!

261
00:34:02,407 --> 00:34:06,846
There’s always a good chance
it will go to shit.

262
00:34:07,727 --> 00:34:09,726
No, I don’t think it will.

263
00:34:10,327 --> 00:34:17,927
There’s a good chance
it will all go to shit.

264
00:34:18,606 --> 00:34:22,566
It won’t be a big loss.
– It might still all go to shit.

265
00:34:28,327 --> 00:34:31,166
I started fishing here locally.

266
00:34:31,526 --> 00:34:36,287
I remember you bringing the ide fish.
Unbelievable amounts of it.

267
00:34:36,526 --> 00:34:38,726
It was the time
of the restoration of independence.

268
00:34:38,887 --> 00:34:41,046
Food was scarce;
there were no jobs.

269
00:34:41,807 --> 00:34:46,566
So I collected bottles at the beach
and went fishing.

270
00:34:47,447 --> 00:34:53,086
I found an old fishnet, with hoops.

271
00:34:54,287 --> 00:34:57,327
The first net went missing with a storm.

272
00:34:58,246 --> 00:35:01,927
I walked up and down the shore crying,
looking for it.

273
00:35:02,686 --> 00:35:04,686
First I thought it had been stolen,

274
00:35:04,927 --> 00:35:08,967
but no, it must’ve been the storm
that rolled it away.

275
00:35:11,407 --> 00:35:15,206
I don’t recall being hungry as a child.

276
00:35:15,767 --> 00:35:18,606
Weren’t you fed up with the fish?

277
00:35:18,887 --> 00:35:20,887
Once I saw Grandma crying.

278
00:35:22,526 --> 00:35:24,526
She was sitting at the table,

279
00:35:25,646 --> 00:35:29,407
sobbing, saying I was so thin and pale,

280
00:35:29,646 --> 00:35:32,887
and that I hadn’t been fed any pork
or beef for two years,

281
00:35:33,646 --> 00:35:37,206
just potatoes and fish.

282
00:35:38,726 --> 00:35:41,807
That my skinny legs
looked like hockey sticks.

283
00:35:42,126 --> 00:35:44,126
I wish she could see me now!

284
00:35:46,726 --> 00:35:49,086
“As skinny as a beanpole!”

285
00:35:52,646 --> 00:35:56,767
I don’t know why she took it so hard…

286
00:35:57,447 --> 00:35:59,447
We had everything we needed.

287
00:36:01,166 --> 00:36:04,367
I have to call Finnair.

288
00:36:04,927 --> 00:36:06,407
Right now?

289
00:36:06,526 --> 00:36:08,526
Let me see what time it is.

290
00:36:08,646 --> 00:36:11,367
Tomorrow it’ll be Friday already.

291
00:36:25,526 --> 00:36:27,246
Shit.

292
00:36:27,807 --> 00:36:30,246
They don’t open until 9.

293
00:36:32,887 --> 00:36:38,287
Turns out there’s still a fine of 9,600
for violating the quarantine.

294
00:36:40,807 --> 00:36:42,566
Fuck.

295
00:36:53,807 --> 00:36:56,646
I would’ve wanted to take the risk.

296
00:36:57,246 --> 00:37:01,166
Shit,
I just can’t give the concert without Ned.

297
00:37:03,526 --> 00:37:08,046
I’ll have to sacrifice my relationship.

298
00:37:17,046 --> 00:37:18,726
That’s it!

299
00:37:19,046 --> 00:37:21,327
What do you mean?
He’ll be here.

300
00:37:22,007 --> 00:37:25,086
We haven’t sorted out our issues.

301
00:37:26,007 --> 00:37:28,606
He’ll be here for the concerts only.

302
00:37:30,407 --> 00:37:34,847
During the concerts,
I’m not the Maria from the relationship.

303
00:37:35,287 --> 00:37:40,246
I’m the Maria who bosses others around,
I’m the band leader.

304
00:37:41,166 --> 00:37:43,967
It’s not the same.

305
00:37:44,767 --> 00:37:49,126
It’s a shame he won’t be able to be
here in our home in Estonia.

306
00:37:49,487 --> 00:37:51,487
That really sucks.

307
00:38:57,686 --> 00:38:59,686
Well, well!

308
00:39:01,767 --> 00:39:05,726
It’s because I drink beer and eat sweets,

309
00:39:05,847 --> 00:39:07,967
so it gets all sticky inside.

310
00:39:23,606 --> 00:39:26,847
I did think that was it.
That I’d had enough.

311
00:39:31,887 --> 00:39:36,606
You can’t continue if you don’t have
any energy, but now I have my energy back.

312
00:39:41,007 --> 00:39:44,807
It tends to fall back into the old rut.

313
00:39:44,967 --> 00:39:46,967
Nothing really changes.

314
00:39:49,726 --> 00:39:55,447
I did think about the patterns—
I’m seeing a psychoanalyst—​​

315
00:39:56,126 --> 00:39:59,447
about breaking free of my patterns.

316
00:40:07,287 --> 00:40:11,046
My pattern is the older sibling pattern.

317
00:40:12,367 --> 00:40:14,367
I do all the tasks myself.

318
00:40:16,287 --> 00:40:22,206
It was the one who raised Ned as a loafer.

319
00:40:23,126 --> 00:40:25,887
I did everything myself.
It took less time.

320
00:40:28,327 --> 00:40:30,807
I can cook better,
I can organise better.

321
00:40:31,007 --> 00:40:33,726
Eventually he just stayed in bed.

322
00:40:34,807 --> 00:40:40,407
I shouldn’t be shocked and wonder
how this is even possible.

323
00:40:40,726 --> 00:40:44,887
In the end you realise
you were the one who enabled it.

324
00:43:57,367 --> 00:43:59,767
It was a strange time.

325
00:44:00,287 --> 00:44:06,407
The majority of my classmates and friends
didn’t have their fathers around.

326
00:44:07,487 --> 00:44:12,646
We had strange families,
with grandmothers and mothers,

327
00:44:13,086 --> 00:44:18,046
while men moved between families.

328
00:44:22,686 --> 00:44:27,126
Their own kids were raised by other men,

329
00:44:29,166 --> 00:44:32,246
while they were raising
someone else’s kids.

330
00:44:32,686 --> 00:44:35,566
This circling around was…

331
00:44:41,206 --> 00:44:45,367
Now we have blended families,
but I don’t know what you’d call that.

332
00:44:46,767 --> 00:44:49,767
It was a bizarre situation.

333
00:45:12,726 --> 00:45:14,726
That’s the bassoon.

334
00:45:20,367 --> 00:45:22,967
OK, I’ve put something down.

335
00:45:27,206 --> 00:45:29,327
Time for a break again.

336
00:45:37,046 --> 00:45:42,327
The one thing I’ve learned is
that the more I write down the better.

337
00:45:42,927 --> 00:45:46,807
It leaves me more material to choose from.

338
00:45:48,447 --> 00:45:50,807
Sound to me is memory.

339
00:45:51,287 --> 00:45:54,007
I can remember it, fortunately.

340
00:45:56,526 --> 00:45:59,007
Even when I listen to these songs,

341
00:45:59,246 --> 00:46:01,246
I can remember why I was singing,

342
00:46:01,447 --> 00:46:05,166
or where I was singing,
and where the melody is from.

343
00:46:08,126 --> 00:46:09,847
This is from…

344
00:46:12,287 --> 00:46:17,166
A friend of mine has a bathroom with
ventilation pipes that sound like that.

345
00:46:25,287 --> 00:46:27,287
Exactly like that.

346
00:46:30,086 --> 00:46:32,287
It would be cool to…

347
00:46:34,487 --> 00:46:36,487
You take different homes,

348
00:46:36,726 --> 00:46:41,686
with their bathrooms
and those whistling sounds,

349
00:46:42,367 --> 00:46:45,686
and have all the pipes
interact with each other.

350
00:46:46,007 --> 00:46:51,287
The home would be a symbol in <i>Mass</i>.
And the pipes.

351
00:46:55,327 --> 00:46:57,327
Tšau!

352
00:47:03,606 --> 00:47:05,887
Me isegi ei näe teineteist!

353
00:47:17,526 --> 00:47:19,526
Kas me ka suudleme?

354
00:47:34,526 --> 00:47:36,526
The good life!

355
00:47:37,447 --> 00:47:39,927
So much better than a hotel.

356
00:47:44,726 --> 00:47:46,726
How are things with Ned?

357
00:47:47,287 --> 00:47:49,007
I don’t know.

358
00:47:49,126 --> 00:47:52,007
We’ll find out in the bedroom.

359
00:48:00,046 --> 00:48:04,367
I guess we’ll find out soon.

360
00:48:06,686 --> 00:48:14,686
For four months, we haven’t been able
to sleep together.

361
00:48:16,046 --> 00:48:18,967
We’ll have to sort that out first.

362
00:48:34,887 --> 00:48:39,927
Being faithful is not as important to me
as being loyal.

363
00:48:40,086 --> 00:48:43,847
These are two different things for me.

364
00:48:54,327 --> 00:48:57,287
In every relationship there
are bumps in the road.

365
00:48:57,407 --> 00:48:59,407
It’s never perfect.

366
00:48:59,887 --> 00:49:01,887
There’s all kinds of shit.

367
00:49:02,166 --> 00:49:07,287
I’m too hard on Ned,
according to him.

368
00:49:10,927 --> 00:49:12,606
Kas said?

369
00:49:12,847 --> 00:49:16,646
Mida sa tõid?
– Burgereid.

370
00:49:17,046 --> 00:49:22,166
Suurepärane. Alkoholi?
– Ei.

371
00:49:22,566 --> 00:49:25,606
Pole midagi. Joome vett.

372
00:49:26,046 --> 00:49:29,686
Ma hakkasin juba sööma.
– Sul on juba süüa!

373
00:49:32,726 --> 00:49:35,086
It’s the small things that are annoying.

374
00:49:35,447 --> 00:49:37,447
Like the way he blows his nose.

375
00:49:37,887 --> 00:49:45,887
Why would you blow your nose
like you’re playing the trombone.

376
00:49:48,126 --> 00:49:50,126
Who blows their nose like that?

377
00:49:50,526 --> 00:49:54,606
It’s things like that.

378
00:50:02,166 --> 00:50:07,447
We could ask him
what irritates him about me.

379
00:50:10,726 --> 00:50:14,487
Ma tahan sult midagi isiklikku küsida.

380
00:50:15,246 --> 00:50:20,246
Meile mõlemale käivad teineteise juures
närvidele mingid väikesed asjad.

381
00:50:21,086 --> 00:50:26,086
Näiteks, kui sa nuuskad,

382
00:50:26,367 --> 00:50:29,367
teed sa palju lärmi.

383
00:50:29,646 --> 00:50:32,166
Ma vihkan seda.

384
00:50:33,086 --> 00:50:35,686
Aga minu juures?
– Sa oled täiuslik.

385
00:50:42,206 --> 00:50:44,807
Ma võtsin seda, mida neil oli.

386
00:50:48,447 --> 00:50:50,447
Kas sa oled näljane?
– Olen.

387
00:50:51,367 --> 00:50:55,407
Kas ma võtan taldriku?
– Loomulikult.

388
00:50:56,566 --> 00:50:59,847
Sa oled täiuslik, polegi midagi.

389
00:51:03,287 --> 00:51:05,287
Oo, kas tõesti?

390
00:51:07,166 --> 00:51:09,166
Ma mõtlen seda tõsiselt.

391
00:51:10,767 --> 00:51:15,246
Ma söön tihti kana voodis
ja voodialune on pidevalt kanaluid täis.

392
00:51:15,566 --> 00:51:18,847
See on ju hea,
sest siis ei pea mina seda sööma.

393
00:51:19,367 --> 00:51:20,967
Ma söön voodis.

394
00:51:21,166 --> 00:51:23,526
Aa, et kas see ajab mind närvi?
– Jah.

395
00:51:23,967 --> 00:51:26,206
Ma ei mäleta, milline sa voodis oled.

396
00:51:28,767 --> 00:51:30,767
Mis mäng see selline on?

397
00:51:32,487 --> 00:51:33,927
Mul on midagi kõrvas.

398
00:51:44,927 --> 00:51:49,526
Imelik, ma ei oskagi enam
kellegi kõrval magada.

399
00:51:50,246 --> 00:51:52,726
Kellegi?
– Sinu kõrval.

400
00:51:55,007 --> 00:51:59,447
See saab huvitav olema,
kui oled pikalt üksi maganud.

401
00:52:10,367 --> 00:52:14,686
Ma küll ei kavatse oma patja jagada.

402
00:52:24,246 --> 00:52:27,086
Üks, Kaks, kolm.
Jah, nii on õige.

403
00:52:31,367 --> 00:52:33,367
Plaks peab olema selge.

404
00:53:12,206 --> 00:53:15,686
Esmalt teevad kõik nii.
– Jah.

405
00:53:16,767 --> 00:53:19,686
Ja siis lisame järgmise kihi.
– Jah.

406
00:53:59,767 --> 00:54:03,726
Aasta parim eksperimentaalalbum on...
The winner of Experiment of the Year is…

407
00:54:07,407 --> 00:54:10,767
Maria Faust Sacrum Facere „Organ”!
Maria Faust Sacrum Facere with <i>Organ</i>!

408
00:54:28,487 --> 00:54:31,487
Siin on sulle su päris oma lelu!
Here’s your very own toy!

409
00:54:42,726 --> 00:54:45,142
Mul ei ole tegelikult suurt midagi öelda,
I don’t know what to say,

410
00:54:45,166 --> 00:54:47,166
sest olen väga õnnelik.
Because I’m really happy.

411
00:54:48,367 --> 00:54:50,686
Tahan öelda, et see asi siin
I want to say that this thing

412
00:54:50,807 --> 00:54:53,686
on tagumikku pistmiseks liiga suur,
is too big for shoving up my ass,

413
00:54:54,566 --> 00:54:57,887
aga võin hiljem proovida.
But I can try later.

414
00:54:59,327 --> 00:55:03,126
Tahan tänada I’d like to thank

415
00:55:03,367 --> 00:55:06,526
Peter Littauerit ja Søren Friisi
Peter Littauer and Søren Friis

416
00:55:06,726 --> 00:55:10,126
plaadifirmast Stunt Records, oma bändi
from Stunt Records, my band,

417
00:55:10,606 --> 00:55:16,726
ja suurim tänu muidugi kõigile teile. and the
greatest thanks goes to all of you here, of course.

418
00:55:34,206 --> 00:55:37,007
Kas teil on valget veini?
Have you got any white wine?

419
00:55:37,726 --> 00:55:40,487
Mis maa oma?
Where is it from?

420
00:55:43,767 --> 00:55:46,263
Meil on ainult ühte sorti valget.
We only have one type of white wine.

421
00:55:46,287 --> 00:55:49,166
Ahah, no siis seda.
OK, I’ll have that.

422
00:55:52,646 --> 00:55:54,767
I’ll take a selfie.

423
00:56:18,487 --> 00:56:20,246
Fuck.

424
00:56:28,246 --> 00:56:30,246
Ma olen su üle nii uhke.

425
00:56:43,367 --> 00:56:45,367
Ma lähen pissile.

426
00:56:48,686 --> 00:56:50,887
See pole üldse külm...

427
00:56:51,287 --> 00:56:53,287
Kas tõesti?
– Aga mulle meeldib.

428
00:57:04,007 --> 00:57:06,367
Kas see on IPA, Ned?

429
00:57:15,407 --> 00:57:17,407
I’m very sorry.

430
00:57:18,526 --> 00:57:20,526
Buy a new one.

431
00:57:29,807 --> 00:57:33,246
“This is the happiest devil I have.”

432
00:57:43,606 --> 00:57:46,367
Topelt-IPA.
Või lausa kolmekordne?

433
00:57:52,206 --> 00:57:54,967
I’d get drunk much faster.

434
00:58:00,166 --> 00:58:03,246
Kontsert oli keskpärane.

435
00:58:03,407 --> 00:58:09,246
Seal oli kaks huvitavat esinejat,
mõlemad naised.

436
00:58:09,686 --> 00:58:12,007
Ülejäänu oli pask.

437
00:58:16,726 --> 00:58:18,726
Kas ma võin ühe lonksu võtta?

438
00:58:25,086 --> 00:58:28,566
I’m a very good cook, for example,

439
00:58:35,646 --> 00:58:38,367
but I’m very bad in bed.

440
00:58:39,206 --> 00:58:41,646
Always full of contrasts.

441
00:58:43,447 --> 00:58:45,927
How can that be?

442
00:58:50,646 --> 00:58:54,287
The only thing that lights me up is music.

443
00:58:55,246 --> 00:59:03,246
I can’t hide the fact that the only thing
that interests me

444
00:59:05,086 --> 00:59:08,206
is drama in music.

445
00:59:12,447 --> 00:59:14,847
Ned has already gone to bed.

446
00:59:17,287 --> 00:59:19,606
I can see that it’s hard for him.

447
00:59:19,807 --> 00:59:26,007
He’s always my plus-one.

448
00:59:30,967 --> 00:59:36,126
Believe it or not,
everybody has their ambitions.

449
00:59:42,566 --> 00:59:45,086
That’s why he drinks, I think.

450
00:59:45,887 --> 00:59:49,126
I suspect that’s the reason he drinks.

451
00:59:55,447 --> 00:59:57,447
Kuidas on?

452
00:59:59,206 --> 01:00:03,007
Tahaks narkotsi.
– Oh ei!

453
01:00:20,606 --> 01:00:25,646
Tema on see mässumeelne meie peres.

454
01:00:32,246 --> 01:00:34,246
Ma armastan sind.

455
01:01:45,287 --> 01:01:48,166
I don’t have to listen until the end,
I already know what’s wrong.

456
01:01:48,327 --> 01:01:53,967
It sounds too frantic and
the beginning is unbalanced.

457
01:01:54,407 --> 01:01:57,367
We’ll have to do it again.
– We’ll redo it anyway.

458
01:01:57,887 --> 01:02:00,246
There’s no point
in listening until the end,

459
01:02:00,407 --> 01:02:03,887
because it has the same problem throughout.

460
01:02:04,086 --> 01:02:06,086
Yes, a little too fast.

461
01:02:06,246 --> 01:02:10,646
It should be as if it’s flying,
not fluttering.

462
01:02:12,166 --> 01:02:14,166
I’m writing <i>Mass of Mary</i>,

463
01:02:19,447 --> 01:02:27,447
a composition both including narrative
and conceptual components,

464
01:02:29,007 --> 01:02:31,327
and consisting of multiple parts.

465
01:02:31,526 --> 01:02:34,287
Typical of masses,

466
01:02:36,646 --> 01:02:41,726
it contains text in Latin,
but there’s also text in Estonian.

467
01:02:42,086 --> 01:02:50,086
I’ve been inspired by how our world

468
01:02:54,126 --> 01:02:59,206
is built on violence and hierarchy.

469
01:03:00,327 --> 01:03:07,887
I have taken the role
of someone who filters,

470
01:03:09,807 --> 01:03:16,526
but doesn’t offer solutions
and doesn’t criticise.

471
01:06:32,007 --> 01:06:38,007
Kui keegi arvab,
et meil pole võrdne suhe…

472
01:06:39,487 --> 01:06:41,686
Sellised suhted ei toimi kunagi.

473
01:06:41,847 --> 01:06:45,246
Meie suhtes pole ebavõrdsust.

474
01:06:47,487 --> 01:06:49,487
Ned võib-olla ei…

475
01:06:50,967 --> 01:06:54,046
Ma olen väga teotahteline.
– Muide, ma olen siinsamas.

476
01:06:56,726 --> 01:07:00,686
Ma olen väga teotahteline,
aga see ei tee minust võimukat inimest.

477
01:07:04,166 --> 01:07:06,166
Ma kohe aevastan.

478
01:07:07,086 --> 01:07:09,086
Sest sa valetad.

479
01:07:14,967 --> 01:07:17,447
Hea küll, ma nüüd lõpetan
oma mõtete jagamise.

480
01:07:17,566 --> 01:07:19,086
Ära lõpeta.

481
01:07:20,686 --> 01:07:25,287
Ma ütleks, et oleneb, kus me oleme.

482
01:07:25,646 --> 01:07:28,606
Kui me oleme Eestis,
olen vägagi Maria Fausti mees.

483
01:07:30,447 --> 01:07:33,767
Aga siin on hoopis teine lugu!
– Siin võib olla nii ja naa.

484
01:07:34,046 --> 01:07:39,086
USAs on Maria olenevalt
meie asukohast Ned Fermi naine.

485
01:07:41,566 --> 01:07:45,927
Mulle täitsa sobib olla
lihtsalt Maria Fausti mees.

486
01:07:46,126 --> 01:07:49,566
Minu jaoks ei ole probleem
olla mingis mõttes anonüümne.

487
01:07:53,407 --> 01:07:57,927
Ma olen sellega küll harjunud,
aga siiski on vahel veider,

488
01:07:58,807 --> 01:08:00,847
kui mind teistele tutvustades ütled:

489
01:08:01,007 --> 01:08:03,887
„See on minu abikaasa
ja ka tema mängib saksofoni.”

490
01:08:04,126 --> 01:08:06,526
Siis ma tunnen,

491
01:08:06,726 --> 01:08:10,007
et küll on tore, et sa abiellusid mehega,
kelle hobi on saksofonimäng.

492
01:08:10,246 --> 01:08:12,646
Ma peaksin seda muutma.
Mida ma peaksin ütlema?

493
01:08:13,726 --> 01:08:17,206
See pole üldse seotud…
See on lihtsalt selline olukord…

494
01:08:18,887 --> 01:08:24,406
Sa oled töötanud peamiselt koos
oma bändidega

495
01:08:24,767 --> 01:08:27,406
ja ka mina olen osa sellest.

496
01:08:28,007 --> 01:08:31,967
Aga ma olen alati olnud <i>sideman</i>.

497
01:08:34,607 --> 01:08:37,927
Selles osas oleme erinevad.
– Mina pole <i>sideman</i>.

498
01:08:38,647 --> 01:08:40,647
Ma pole kunagi olnud <i>sideman</i>.
– Just.

499
01:08:40,927 --> 01:08:43,007
Aga mina olen alati olnud <i>sideman</i>.

500
01:08:43,246 --> 01:08:48,567
Ma olen rahul selle rolliga.
Minu jaoks on loomulik,

501
01:08:49,286 --> 01:08:53,007
et pean pingutama selleks,
et leida aega omaenda muusika jaoks.

502
01:08:54,366 --> 01:08:56,607
Siis ma suudan ka edaspidi

503
01:08:57,647 --> 01:08:59,967
toime tulla olles lihtsalt <i>sideman</i>.

504
01:09:14,046 --> 01:09:17,767
Lihtsalt juhtus nii, et need kaks aastat

505
01:09:18,286 --> 01:09:23,847
olid tõenäoliselt mu elu
kõige raskemad aastad. – Jah.

506
01:09:24,046 --> 01:09:30,607
Pidin leppima olukorraga,
et ma ei saa lapsi.

507
01:09:31,246 --> 01:09:37,126
Et ma ei saa kunagi perekonda,
millest tegelikult unistasime.

508
01:09:37,286 --> 01:09:39,607
Me küll eitame seda.

509
01:09:39,807 --> 01:09:45,927
Siiski mõjus rängalt uudis,
et me ei saa lapsi.

510
01:09:46,246 --> 01:09:51,807
See on näide olukorrast,
milles me oleme küll mõlemad,

511
01:09:52,046 --> 01:09:54,687
kuid ebavõrdselt erinevates rollides.

512
01:09:54,847 --> 01:09:58,567
Me pidime sellega leppima…

513
01:10:04,246 --> 01:10:09,126
Harva saad kindla eitava vastuse
olukorra kohta,

514
01:10:09,446 --> 01:10:12,086
mida sa ise muuta ei saa.

515
01:10:12,326 --> 01:10:14,887
Enamasti <i>ei</i> ei tähenda <i>ei</i>.

516
01:10:15,086 --> 01:10:20,086
Aga kui tegemist on meditsiiniga…

517
01:10:20,366 --> 01:10:22,567
Teadusega ei saa ju vaielda.

518
01:10:23,046 --> 01:10:27,486
Ma olen oma hingesopis alati teadnud,

519
01:10:27,767 --> 01:10:31,326
et see ei ole minu jaoks.

520
01:10:31,687 --> 01:10:39,086
Kui sa saad hormoonravi,
pole sa enam sina ise.

521
01:10:39,326 --> 01:10:41,326
Minu isiksus muutus täielikult.

522
01:10:41,887 --> 01:10:46,607
Mitu asja juhtus samal ajal:
põhimõtteliselt lapse kaotus,

523
01:10:47,086 --> 01:10:52,406
sõbra Esta kohutav surm.

524
01:10:55,607 --> 01:10:57,847
See oli mu elu kõige kurvem periood.

525
01:10:58,767 --> 01:11:00,767
Ainult kaotused.

526
01:11:08,727 --> 01:11:12,567
Ma ei teagi,
kuidas kirjeldada seda sügavat kurbust,

527
01:11:12,807 --> 01:11:16,446
mille keskele ma maandusin.

528
01:12:14,847 --> 01:12:16,847
So, what’s new in Tallinn?

529
01:12:17,967 --> 01:12:20,166
Jack shit.
– What?

530
01:12:20,967 --> 01:12:25,647
Jack shit.
We’re sitting too far away from each other.

531
01:12:28,847 --> 01:12:30,847
There was nothing in Tallinn.

532
01:12:32,887 --> 01:12:37,567
I wonder if they’re back from Tallinn.
They wanted to sell their flat.

533
01:12:38,046 --> 01:12:41,246
In Lasnamäe?
It will sell fast.

534
01:12:41,406 --> 01:12:43,767
You think so?
– Definitely.

535
01:12:44,567 --> 01:12:48,486
Apparently bedroom communities
are very popular.

536
01:12:53,567 --> 01:12:59,446
There’s something
I’ve been thinking about since November.

537
01:13:00,446 --> 01:13:08,446
Everywhere you see people emphasising
how important it is to stay humble.

538
01:13:09,967 --> 01:13:13,286
It makes my blood boil.

539
01:13:13,727 --> 01:13:15,647
How long should I stay humble?

540
01:13:15,767 --> 01:13:20,527
What does it mean exactly to be humble?

541
01:13:21,366 --> 01:13:23,366
It means to be grateful.

542
01:13:23,527 --> 01:13:25,527
Grateful?

543
01:13:26,647 --> 01:13:30,687
It makes me violent.

544
01:13:30,807 --> 01:13:32,807
I feel like I want to kick someone.

545
01:13:34,687 --> 01:13:39,286
Should I be humble and grateful
knowing that now is my time?

546
01:13:39,727 --> 01:13:44,486
Now that I feel I’ve taken off,

547
01:13:44,767 --> 01:13:46,767
I have to stay humble?

548
01:13:50,406 --> 01:13:53,206
Who for?
Because I could lose it all any day?

549
01:13:54,246 --> 01:13:56,246
I don’t think that way.

550
01:16:22,847 --> 01:16:26,406
The music included in the film
is from the albums.

551
01:16:26,607 --> 01:16:29,887
<i>Organ</i>, <i>Mass of Mary</i> and <i>MOnuMENT</i>
by Maria Faust.



