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(Horse neighs)
(Grunts)
I know you ain't done yet.
You say you're all used up,
but I know you still got some gold left in ya.
(Horse whinnies)
(Grunts)
(Rumbling)
(Yelps)
(Rumbling stops)
(Yells)
What in tarnation...
(Grunts, yells)
(Wind blows)
(Bells tolling) (Train whistle blows)
Man: Howdy, sheriff.
(Mimicking gunshots) Uh-oh! You got me.
Morning.
Charlotte: Daddy!
Look at you, sweetheart! All bright and shiny, like a living doll.
Give us a twirl.
Whoo! Is this the wedding dress? Can I have a sneak peek?
Don't be a cheat, daddy. You'll get a full preview on our big day.
Angus: Very soon now.
Can you at least try and make an effort?
Angus, I see you made the return trip as well.
A wedding generally is between a woman and a man, sheriff pulsipher.
Yes it is, and I can't wait to meet that young man.
Okay, daddy. (Chuckles nervously)
Listen to me.
In five days, Angus will be a part of this family
whether you like it or not.
What I'd like to see is he's man enough
to take over the reins in protecting you.
I mean, is he any good with a barking iron?
I want a husband, daddy. Not a bodyguard.
You've taught me how to take good enough care of myself.
He's taught me how to dissect the words of dostoyevsky
and he's introduced me to dickens and poe...
You're not even married yet, and you're already meeting with lawyers?
Daddy, stop it.
Angus is a good soul who does make me feel safe and secure,
but most of all, happy.
You're just afraid you won't be the number one man in my life anymore.
You got him well-trained, Charlotte, that's for sure. (Chuckles softly)
I'm right here.
(Gunshots) (People screaming)
Inside.
Zeke: Go get 'em, boys! Round them up!
Roy: It's the Samuels.
(Grunting)
Hurry it up, ladies. I ain't got all day.
Anybody other than me comes through those doors, you shoot 'em.
Zeke: Move it, move it!
Move it!
Daddy? Angus.
Homrhappydoes hereahyrnakeyou? Daddy, go!
(Gunfire continues)
You can come out now.
Go, go!
Move it! Man: Come on, let's go.
Keep moving!
Slim: First time I made it on a poster.
Hey! I'm handsome! (Laughs)
(Gunshot) Hands up!
Come here.
Stay down. Go!
(Grunts)
(Grunts, body thuds)
(Gunshot)
(Retches, vomits)
(Spits)
Don't mind. Happens to everyone.
It's a crazy ride getting here.
See? (Vomits)
I just saw the most...
Hano: Beautiful, bright light you ever did see? That'd be heaven.
Heading towards it is a good sign for your future.
But you haven't made it there yet.
Hold on! Hold your damn horses.
Did you say heaven?
I've read your file, Roy.
I know everything about you
and none of it says you're hard of hearing.
I'm dead?
Mmm-hmm.
Charlotte? What about my daughter, Charlotte?
Uh, hmm... negative.
She's dead. She's dead. (Sobs)
No, no. Negative is positive.
Negative means "not dead."
Negative means "not dead"?
That is very confusing. Change that.
Butgood.
She's got her wedding at the end of the week.
It's in two days, actually.
Roy: Come again?
You've been dead for three days.
It takes a while for upstairs to ratifyjudgement
and send a soul to where it belongs.
You got sent to us.
Welcome to the ripd.
The "rip..." What?
"'D.' stands for "department."
The "rip" is your standard "rest in peace."
I'm the captain of the west American division.
Name's hano.
See, we generally only get soldiers, warriors and sheriffs
who dearly depart shuffled in here to us.
At least the ones deemed worthy enough
to serve on god's own police force in the ongoing fight against the deados.
The what-os?
The deados.
Souls that escape theirjudgment and hang around earth
like the bad smell they are.
Our job is to find them
and send them to where their ticket got punched.
Hell, Roy. We send them to hell.
Heaven and hell?
Whoo! (Hano chuckles)
Roy: So these souls that escape their judgement in hell
are what you call "deados."
Not yet. A soul, by its very definition,
is a spectral energy.
Disembodied, it's ineffectual.
To sow the havoc a rogue soul desires it needs a body.
Wait. A human body?
Exactly.
And once it takes one over, possesses it, if you will,
then it becomes a problem.
Our problem. It becomes a deado.
The more deados on earth, the more unbalanced the natural order,
threatening all human life.
I think you're really gonna like this.
Whoo-wee.
It's quite an impressive candy store you got here.
(Hano chuckles softly)
Roy: Oh, hello.
Ain't you purdy.
That's a very nice choice.
Oh... no, no, no. I can't be unfaithful.
When it comes to what I wear on my hip, I'm a one-gun man.
Nothing comes between me and my susie.
That's my gun.
I call her susie.
I call her useless.
Especially against deados.
It'll stun them for a moment or two, kind of like a nasty snake bite.
This, however, more than does the job.
With a head shot, these bullets can exterminate a deado's soul.
And your own,
should the barrel end up being pointed in your direction.
Whoa. Good to know.
What's with the, uh, hungry snake?
The uroboros signifies life, death and rebirth.
Deados may look like real humans, but after possession,
that symbol is branded on their torso.
This is a reminder to all officers
of the constant threat we're up against.
Right. Cut to the chase. Why am I here?
Roy, do you remember that total eclipse about a month ago?
Well, there was an abnormal rupture at a gateway near red creek,
an old mining town in Utah.
"Abnormal," because it registered with us as a kind of
hellish discharge.
I know an old quack back at home
who has a remedy for "hellish discharges," if you know what I mean.
Duly noted, but not what we're looking for.
You, however, know that terrain better than most.
You sign up, we'll get you back to earth right away
to check it all out.
Now, that's a carrot worth the dangle.
If I get to go back to earth, sign me up and count me in!
I know what's going on in that noggin of yours, Roy.
Everyone in your position thinks the same thing.
But revenge for your murder is not the mission.
Getting to red creek is.
Let sleeping dogs lie.
You're a dead man. Nothing we can do can change that.
Now, before you read and sign,
you should know the standard service term...
I already said I'm in. Let's seal the deal.
(Spits) Oh.
Send me back.
(Chuckles nervously)
(Spits)
(Groans) (Sizzling)
You branded me like a damn steer.
Moo.
Now giddy up, cowboy. It's time to move.
(Thuds) Oh! Watch the bread box.
Sorry. People got taller over time.
We'd like to replace it but, you know, budgetary constraints.
The clock's ticking, Roy.
In two days, a blood moon will rise. (Machine whirring)
And in the Bible, when that follows a blue moon eclipse,
it can only mean one thing.
A hoot of a time for astronomers?
The end of times.
Hmm.
(Electricity crackling)
(Retches)
(Vomits)
What the...
Oh, fancy.
(Rumbling)
(Rumbling stops)
(Exhales in relief)
(Grunts) (Bodythuds)
Jeanne: That's the good thing about dying.
It can only happen once.
You must be sheriff pulsipher.
In all my glory.
I have seen glory and I don't think you are it.
Just who might you be?
Jeanne: Jeanne.
The name is Jeanne.
Roy: Listen, Jane, I don't do partners.
Hano charged me with looking after you, and I don't go against orders.
I don't need no looking after.
And I don't need a fourth partner.
Four partners? Where are your other three?
Everywhere. The father, son and the holy ghost.
Yeah, those three gun slingers?
They don't come in real handy when you need backup in fire fight.
I don't need backup with a gun when I'm unbeatable with a sword.
Let's make one thing clear.
I got seniority in this here arrangement.
I got at least 20 years on ya.
If we were alive.
But you have been dead for three days.
162,425.
Or 445 years.
How senior do you feel now?
Hell with this. Hee-ya! (Horse whinnies)
Zeke: Iain't gonna ask you again.
(People screaming) I said, get in line.
Come on now, daddy.
Bank manager: No need to hurt me. I mean, us.
I'll get you all what I have in the safe.
We ain't here for your money.
This is a bank. What else do you want?
Them.
Yeah, we want people. You got any of them in your safe?
'Cause, we'll take 'em all. Oh!
(Bullet whizzes) (Glass shatters)
Slim: I'm sorry about that.
You're the sorriest son-of-a-bitch we ever had the misfortune
of getting stuck with. The law is coming.
God damn, they brought the whole cavalry this time.
You three stay here. Hold them off.
Catch back up with us later. Got it.
Damn it!
Hee-ya!
(Sniffles)
(Sighs softly)
Jeanne: You don't need a partner,
and I don't need a stray dog, Roy.
Now let's go.
You're not gonna stop me from seeing my daughter.
Now, listen.
(Grunts)
That was unexpected.
You know, I've never hit a woman.
But you come between me and my Charlotte, there's gonna be hell to pay.
Faster than when you were alive, huh?
(Groans)
(Grunting)
(Groans)
(Grunting)
I can't let you go see her.
Why not?
Because you...
Aren't you anymore.
So this is me now?
To everyone on earth, anyway.
(Gasps)
You always said I needed to be more in touch with my feminine side, Millie.
If you could only see me now.
Breaks my heart, my daughter will never know me again.
The ripd gave you a second chance to restore order to the world.
Not your old life.
That's why we don't return as ourselves.
It would be too confusing for anyone who knew us.
This is 1876 america.
If you haven't noticed, folks around these parts
ain't too broad-minded.
Few people are gonna talk to us, let alone even listen to us,
looking the way we do.
Why do that? Make ourjob that much harder?
Maybe the eternal one thought you could learn a thing or two.
Walking in shoes of those deemed less advantaged.
Come on, now. I have learned plenty.
My best friend is black.
And my daughter is a woman.
Just because you know them,
does not mean you understand what it's like to be them.
We'll say we're sisters.
Bounty hunters.
That should get us some respect.
I can't believe that this here body
is right there, buried, under my feet.
Well...
Well what?
It's true that part of you was buried under there.
Part of me?
The parts they could find. After you were shot.
I think buried here is a foot, a shoulder,
your ear, maybe, and your...
My ass? Yes.
They found your ass, too.
Where is the rest of me?
In a cave, apparently.
Some coyotes got to you, Roy. Some coyotes?
They were hungry, and you were dead. Hungry coyotes.
I heard they had some small babies.
Small, hungry, baby coyotes.
So, you helped them survive.
It's a beautiful thing,
to be a part of the food chain. Shut up.
Circle of life... Stop. Stop talking.
Where are you going, Roy? My skin might have changed,
but my heart and soul are still the same.
I know I can make my daughter recognize me.
You can't communicate with loved ones anymore either.
Anything you say to her
will only come out as an incoherent gibberish.
So, not only will my daughter not recognize me,
she won't understand a lick of what I'm saying, either?
This is some bullshit.
(Roy grunts, exclaims) (Henry humming softly)
I know exactly how you feel, ma'am.
I understand your pain.
It's good to let it all out.
You've come to pay your respects to the late sheriff, too, then?
I can't say I've seen you ladies around these parts before.
Do you know this man? That is Henry.
My friend I was talking about.
We've known each other since we were knee-high.
(Speaking gibberish) (Shushes)
Name's matilde, father.
And this here is my mute sister, Mabel.
We only met the sheriff once.
He, uh, helped us with our broken down wagon.
I must admit, I didn't take much of a shine to him,
nor him to me.
In fact, he seemed quite self-absorbed, if you ask me.
The kind of man that wanted to control every situation he was in
no matter how out of his depth he truly was.
But Mabel, well,
she seemed to think he was something really special.
Well, we're all entitled to our own points of view, I guess.
But I may have to side with miss Mabel over here on this one.
That man was special.
Far from perfect, of course.
But, special nonetheless.
I mean, was he a little arrogant?
No doubt.
Did he think that he had the answers
before the questions were even asked?
That was Roy, to a tee. (Laughs)
Pigheaded? Ha!
Stubborn as an ornery mule, more like it.
Boy, was Roy loyal.
To his family, this town, to me.
There is no one you wanted more to have your back.
Makes me wonder how we're gonna stand on our own two feet without him.
Especially against the evil likes of them Samuels that did Roy in
and took poor Charlotte's fiance,
amongst others.
Least they caught three of them five reprobates
holding up a bank today.
Federal marshals will be transferring them to laramie.
It's the hangman's noose for them boys now.
Mmm-mmm. No, no. They are moving them to laramie.
They gotta pass through snake gully and that's where we'll hit them.
I have indulged your little identity crisis.
But we must get to red creek.
Didn't you hear Henry?
The Samuels took Angus.
And that is an issue for the earthly authorities to solve,
not us.
Gateways, portals, deados.
That is yourjurisdiction now, officer.
Out of my way.
The world could be at stake and you care only about saving one man.
Not just any man.
The man that makes my daughter the happiest in the world.
And for me, my daughter is my world.
Was your world.
You are dead.
You'll get used to using the past tense.
Hey, Jenny, would you go walk around on my grave?
With pleasure.
Wait, why?
'Cause ifyou're gonna be such a pain in my ass,
you might as well be standing on it!
Goodbye, Mabel.
Take good care now.
Right. Mabel. (Clicks tongue)
Marshal: Settle down back there, boys.
Settle down.
Stubborn as an ornery mule.
Well, if that isn't the understatement
of my many years of after-life service.
How you feel about me is nothing
compared to my disposition for those Samuel brothers.
The damndest thing, not too long ago,
those boys were good and god-fearing.
Then just like that...
Bad. Turned. Rotten to the core.
Old Doris Samuel said
her four boys and adopted son, slim,
went out to work an old well one day on their farm,
and came back that night a crazy bunch of no-goods.
She always said it was like, they weren't her boys no more.
Also, Henry said three of the five Samuels were caught.
There should have been only four left.
I pegged their leader, Zeke, before I was killed.
Nobody could have survived that shot.
Maybe you're not the sharp shot you thought you were, Annie oakley.
I can shoot the sting off a hornet from 50 feet.
Jeanne: Your humility is a virtue to behold.
Roy: Thank you.
Marshal: Hoo!
Here they come.
Told you they'd pass this way.
Marshal: Make it quick.
Now's our chance.
Don't you worry none, fellas.
We'll be getting you to that judge soon enough.
Just your exploits in this region alone will see you swinging by Sunday.
(Urinating)
Sure you don't wanna go?
It's a great spot.
I feel light as a feather.
What are you doing? We got the element of surprise!
Look.
Holy shit!
The uroboros!
Jeanne: You may not be such a bad shot after all, Roy.
But you couldn't have killed that which was already dead.
Doris Samuels didn't think her sons came home that night because they didn't.
Rogue souls that escaped judgement must have been hiding in that well.
And possessed the brothers and made them deados.
And this just became ourjurisdiction.
Help! Help me, misters!
Please.
It's my sister!
She's hurt real bad.
She's a bit slow, you see,
and doesn't have a keen sense of direction.
Fact, she don't much have a keen sense of anything at all right now,
truth be told.
She slipped from the top of the canyon.
Banged herself up real good.
Marshal: Now, you hold it right there.
We do not have the time nor the disposition
to help the likes of you.
Guess you don't have the disposition
for no Morgan silver then neither.
Hey, fellas.
See if you can help the little lady out.
Jeanne: Okay, then.
Thank you.
You're real saints.
(Grunts)
Marshal: Hey fellas, we gotta go.
Leave 'em to die if you have to.
Just make sure you grab the silver.
Fehas?
(Grunting)
Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
Whoa! I got her! I got her!
You go check!
Yeah, you got her.
That's for damn sure.
But I can't see no bullet hole.
(Marshal 2 screams) Boo!
Jeanne: Hey, marshal.
Still want that silver? (Grunts)
Roy: That's the thing about dying, it can only happen once.
Ow. Just like a snake bite.
(Samuels laughing)
Damn strong lock.
(Straining) Search him again!
I'm telling you, the key must have got lost
while you were busy assaulting us us federal marshals.
No! These ain't mine! Oh, god!
So what now?
We're gonna have to pop one of them.
Pop what now?
Roy: You gonna partake in a little moonshine with our captives?
This isn't moonshine.
But for deados, something far more torturous.
(Growling)
(Muffled screaming)
Once popped, he's got to be stopped.
(Growling, screeching)
(Grunts)
What the...
Holy shit.
No, water.
Blessed by the almighty.
Once they've possessed a human, deados hate revealing their true selves.
The pain is unbearable.
Holy water speeds up the process.
Uh, where are the other two?
Oh, there's one.
Jeanne: Like I said,
in a gunfight, all I need is my sword.
Let's go, deado filth. (Muffled yelps)
Son of a...
What?
What? Don't you "what, what" me, boy.
You was the one that sent me to the bone orchard
with a slug to the back of the skull, ya damn coward!
Ma'am! I've no idea who you are!
He doesn't recognize you, roycephus.
(Chuckles) Roycephus? Her name is roycephus?
Oh!
I saw it on your tombstone.
It is a pretty funny name. Is it Roman?
It means noble and kind!
Neither of which I'm feeling at the moment,
as I stare into the eyes of my murderer.
No! Whoa, whoa. Slow down!
Now I know sheriff pulsipher was shot near the train that day,
but I've no idea who did it.
You did it!
It was you! You shot me from inside the train!
Nah, that bill is a load of bosh.
Someone's trying to frame me!
Okay.
Cool, cool, so clearly, you can't see our true selves.
But can you see these weapons?
Mmm-hmm. Yeah, I see them.
Good, 'cause this pistol is the last thing you're ever gonna see!
Adios, deados!
No. What about getting him to talk?
Think about your daughter. About Angus.
They're the reason we're here, right?
God damn it!
What did you do with the people from the train?
Eat a horn toad!
Mmm-hmm. Oh, boy.
(Yelps)
(Screaming)
(Growling)
Come on out!
Any more, and he'll pop.
I'll talk. Please!
Roy: Go on, then. Talk.
Slim: Okay. Okay, okay. There's this deado.
The worst I've ever seen. Goes by the name Otis.
Otis claiborne. And he ain't like most deados.
He's more powerful.
He forced me and the souls that took over the other Samuels
to kidnap people and deliver them to red creek.
Red creek? As in red creek, Utah?
Slim: Yeah.
Maybe this little diversion wasn't a waste of time, after all.
And how long you been rounding up folks for this Otis'?
About a month. Since he showed up.
That's around the same time as the gateway rupture.
You reckon this Otis could be the "hellish discharge" hano was on about?
Souls can escape on their way into hell
but none have ever gotten back out.
What business does this Otis have with the kidnapped folk?
He's locking them up. Keeping them healthy.
He's got something big planned. That's for sure.
And it's goin' down soon. That's all I know!
Means Angus might still be alive.
Look, we was just trying to lay low from you ripd.
But Otis has a real scary way about him.
I ain't proud of what I done,
but he threatened to wipe us all out if we didn't help.
And how exactly was he going to do that?
Deados can't wipe out other deados.
With one of those, they can.
Now why would this Otis fella have himself an ripd equalizer?
I don't know. But it's not good.
We need to get to red creek.
(Sighs wearily)
(Door opens)
That deado crew has returned.
But they only brought back eight more.
I'll get them to do one last run before midnight.
Their leader said they're done. For good this time.
Seems they want out before any ripd start moving in.
Isthatso?
What else did he say?
He doesn't think we should all be following you with such...
Blind faith.
They are questioning your origins.
Who you say you really are.
And you?
Do you doubt who I say I am?
It's just...
They're questioning how you got out.
(Chuckles)
As one of the three, I had the freedom
to roam all circles of the underworld.
I escaped through limbo during that full moon eclipse
when a fragment of the gateway grew weak.
Now, tonight's blood moon completes a tetradic lunar cycle,
making the entire gateway weak and vulnerable at midnight.
That's when we put the humans to work.
It gives them six hours to toil
until the gateway strengthens again at dawn,
making it impossible to penetrate once more.
This is why we need as many hands as we can get.
Because if they fail...
It will be another quarter of a century
before the gateway is at its weakest once again.
I was tired of fighting for control down below.
I escaped to rule over my own dominion here on earth.
I can barely wait a few hours, let alone a quarter of a century.
Now you tell me.
Do I also have to fight for your belief in me as well?
No, I'm with you.
I am.
I believe you can deliver us hell on earth.
But...
But what?
I can no longer speak for the others.
Well, let's go open everyone's eyes, then.
If you're gonna put faith in me,
inolonger want it to be blind.
Hmm.
Roy: Are you sure we can't just pop this dead weight? He's holding us back.
Jeanne: Execution is not ripd policy.
Once we're done, hano will have him redirected back to hell.
His fate has already been sealed.
Just put me on the back of the horse, miss horciphus.
We'll get there much quicker.
I'll hold on to you real tight. I promise.
We'll keep each other nice and toasty, huh? What do you say? (Grunts)
Roy: I'll give him a fighting chance. Ten seconds start.
He did kill me, after all.
Jeanne: "The best revenge is to be unlike him who caused the injury."
Roy: You quoting the Bible on me now?
Jeanne: No. Marcus aurelius said that.
Like you, he was a Roman, too.
Roycephus ain't Roman. It's a family name.
Jeanne: Okay. I got it. Message received.
Don't you mean "Roy-ceiphed"? Message "Roy-ceiphed."
(Chuckles) Get it? 'Cause your name is royceph...
Oh! Here come the snake bites. Snake what?
Ow! Ow!
I'm sorry, okay? Damn!
I'm gonna file a complaint when you take me in.
(Groans)
Speaking of fate, I gotta thank you.
For, uh, saving my life back at the canyon.
He had me dead to rights.
That wasn't easy for you, was it?
Admitting you can't do it alone.
I'm not admitting anything, I'm just saying thanks for having my back.
Don't make this awkward.
You're welcome.
But it wasn't your life that I saved back there.
But something far more important.
Your soul.
So tell me, your dearly departed Millie,
do you think she ended "up" or "down"?
Well seeing how I was heading to the pearly gates,
that damn fine woman probably has a seat in the front row.
Hmm.
Looking forward to joining her.
Hopefully, she is waiting for you.
Oh, hey!
What's that now? Oh, nothing.
It's just... it's just what?
It's just there are a lot of good men in heaven.
Very good men.
Good looking, so I hear.
Maybe she moved on.
They can do that?
Yeah.
Roy and slim: Damn!
I thought when I died,
Millie and I would be together for eternity.
Eternity? Together with you, Roy?
No, no, no, no.
That would be more like hell for poor Millie. Don't you think?
Yeah, it would. It would.
(Laughs) What are you laughing at? What?
I'm just breaking your noix.
Breaking my what?
Your, uh, this, only for boys.
Breaking my nuts? Yes.
You were breaking my nuts? Uh-huh. (Laughs)
Yes! (Chuckles) That was a good one.
Oh, you got me.
I got you. Yeah.
You got me, too. Man, she's funny.
Weird, but funny. (Chuckles)
I'll shut up now. Message Roy-ceiphed.
I mean received. Aw, shit.
Ow! (Yells)
(Roy and Jeanne laugh)
I heard this was all you could muster.
Zeke: Word's getting around about our kidnappings,
so it's rare to find anybody gathering around here at all.
Our last two scores had to be over the border.
Like I said, we're done here now.
(Laughs)
You really don't wanna stay and be a part of the foundation
that creates a new world order?
You don't wanna witness something truly biblical?
What a shame you have no faith in me.
Because when I lead our kind in earth's great takeover,
you could have had a seat at the main table.
(Squelching)
(Yells)
(Screeching)
(Distorted) Look at me!
Open your eyes.
I said, open your eyes!
(Screeching)
And believe!
How do you feel about staying?
Go help the others.
I want these new ones masked up, watered and fed.
I need them all fit for the work ahead.
(Woman whimpering)
You think anyone doubts who I am now?
(Woman shrieking)
Let's play a game called "when we were alive."
So, when you were alive, what'd you prefer?
Whiskey or gin?
Dresses or tights?
Chicken or steak?
You know what to do.
Come again?
(Grunts)
It's actually starting to tickle. (Chuckles)
Damn it!
The waltz or tango?
(Exclaims)
Coffee or tea?
Saloons or brothels?
Sunrise or sunset?
Long hair, short hair?
Missionary or doggy-style?
Oh! Ah!
I'm starting to like that.
Are we there yet?
Jeanne: "The sun will turn into darkness,
"and the moon into blood,
"before the great and terrible day comes."
Roy: Guessing that's not Marcus aurelius?
Jeanne: The book ofjoel.
The sentiment is echoed in acts and revelations, signifying...
The beginning of the end of times?
Yeah, hano sent me back to earth with that same cheery note.
Just over that Ridge is red creek.
I'd turn back if I were you.
(Grunts)
Here are the rules.
You open that rancid piehole of yours and you tell anyone who we really are,
mmm-hmm. You eat one of these bullets.
You even imply that we're ripd...
You eat one of these here bullets.
In fact you speak without me allowing you to speak...
I eat one of them there bullets?
You're not as dumb as you look.
You so damn ugly.
Good idea.
We don't want anyone recognizing we have him.
Yeah. That's why I did it.
Slim: What's that smell?
Two black women are pulling a hooded man through town
with a rope and no one bats an eyelid?
They seem too ill to notice anything.
Yeah, I wonder what's ailing them.
Cholera hit Blackpool a few months back.
You hear that?
Jeanne: I hear nothing. Exactly.
Just when you think things couldn't get any stranger...
An empty saloon. Whatever happened here, happened in a hurry.
(Boys coughing)
Boys, where is everyone?
That's right! Pile it all up.
Come on, keep it moving now. Come on. There you go.
All your donations are going to a damn fine cause,
I assure you, so...
Keep those heads up and have another blessed Eve...
Who's the snake oil salesman? Julius: In the good lord's favorite town!
Slim: Ah, Julius butterfield. He owns the saloon,
livery stables, general store, the local printing press and the hotel.
Oh, yeah. He's also the mayor.
Seems like a fair election.
(Bell ringing)
Julius: Okay, I got you. I got you. (Coughs)
Forgive my tardiness.
There are days I need at least five of me to get all I need...
._done.
Oh, no, no, no.
You...
You're gonna have to leave. You should not be in here.
Sure, we should!
We're bounty hunters.
Sisters. All the way from bandera, Texas.
We require lodgings. And this is a hotel.
He your bounty then?
You're not as dumb as you look.
Well, maybe you both are...
Because it appears that you can't read.
Now leave.
You're breaking the law.
Just 'cause it's a law, don't make it right.
I'm gonna ask you to take that down.
Just as soon as I get that chance.
Burn it.
You don't tell me what to do.
Now.
Right.
You're right.
Capitalism is colorblind.
And being more open means making more money, after all.
Thank you.
All right.
(Muffled clamoring)
You all right?
Bevedy!
Yes, sir!
(Chuckles)
What's all that "sir" nonsense?
I told you it's just plain old "Julius" to you and everyone else.
We're all one and the same around here.
Now, Beverly would you please be so kind
as to show our guests here to room 5?
Thank you.
Enjoy your stay.
Follow me, ladies.
Pardon my asking, but I recognize the birthmark on the arm of your bounty.
He and his posse have been in and out of town a few times of late.
Mind if I enquire what you got him for?
Killing a us marshal.
Slim: I told you, I ain't kill no... (Groans)
But don't you worry none, miss Beverly.
We're gonna keep a real close eye on him.
I ain't afraid of him.
His partners were plain nasty. But he was, uh, nice.
Slim: Yes, thank you.
Come on in.
I hope it has everything you need.
Jeanne: Excuse my own inquisitiveness,
miss Beverly,
but what ails the town?
No one knows for sure.
Started about a month ago.
Mr. Butterfield says it has to do with the water supply.
But between you and me and the bedpost,
I think that's just a ploy for him to sell more whiskey.
To who?
There ain't barely anyone around.
Oh. Town emptied out dead of last night.
Mr. Butterfield says gold was struck not far away.
Seems everyone must want a piece before there's nothing left.
If that was the case, I reckon old butterfield would have been the first
to break ground.
Do you really believe him?
I don't have much of a choice.
Pardon me.
I suggest you keep your door locked.
Slim: You heard her. She said I'm nice.
She ain't well.
Confusing you with someone else.
I mean, can a deado be nice?
Not in my extended expenence.
Slim: Well, look who's discriminating now.
There must be something in the air making everybody sick.
That's why it's not affecting any of us. In other words, the dead.
And I think...
It's coming from up there.
Slim: Hmm? Up where?
(Groans)
Girl: Daddy! Daddy!
Stay with me! Stay with me!
Don't, don't! Don't, don't!
Please! I've got to revive my daddy.
Please... no, no, no.
Look, he's still with us. Just let him rest.
Listen, lady. Up here, if you take off that mask, you will die.
And fast.
How do you know?
I've seen it happen.
(Angus gasping, wheezing)
(Coughing)
Girl: Okay! Stop it! You've made your point.
Okay!
(Panting)
What do they want with us all?
I don't know.
I have a feeling that we'll come to understand real soon.
Man: What are you looking at?
(Coughing)
God damn it!
Otis: You gotta get all the equipment up to the mine.
There's no time to waste.
We start opening the gateway in less than an hour.
(Coughing)
What do you want, butterfield?
Listen. Otis.
I've done everything asked of me so far, haventl?
You did try and run away from me a few days ago, remember?
Okay, okay, but since then,
I couldn't have been more accommodating to your needs,
no matter how felonious or demanding.
But, please.
I'm begging you.
All I want in return is one of these.
I told you they're for workers only.
Are you gonna be one?
I told you, I got a town to run.
You don't have much of one left.
Because you've taken everyone!
No! Please!
No, no, no. Please.
Please! A couple of healthy ones just checked into the hotel.
Take them, too.
Just give me a mask.
I don't wanna die.
Death is not so bad.
In fact, sometimes it's the beginning of a whole new kind of life.
I mean, look at us,
we can breathe all kinds of toxic air that you can't in your current form.
(Inhales deeply)
And didn't I promise your body the same sort of rebirth
if you just showed us a little cooperation and hospitality?
And I have.
I've done everything.
I just... I just want my town back.
Tomorrow is the dawn of a new day for you.
And all mankind.
Go on.
Take it.
It's yours.
(Coughs)
(Breathes deeply)
What are you all even doing up that mountain anyways?
Well now that you have that mask on, you're gonna find out.
Julius: Otis, please!
Otis!
Otis! Man: Get back.
Ugh. Damn! Smelt like a horse's ding-dong under there
you would know. Where is...
Otis keeping the kidnappees?
We delivered them to the church. That's all I know. Promise.
Ow. What are you doing? I can help!
Nice try hoss. You're staying put.
You got looser lips than a jawless mule.
You're gonna stay right here.
Come on!
That is tight as a bull's ass in fly season.
Look, give me a chance to prove myself!
Please. I don't wanna go to hell.
Nothing we can do about that now.
I didn't do nothing that bad when I was alive.
Clearly, you did enough.
I mean, I stole some stuff.
Just some?
Okay, a little more than some.
A lot. I stole a lot of stuff.
In fact, I was called "bumble,"
on account of my hands were stickier than a beehive. See?
Hey! That's my new susie!
You call your gun "susie"?
Yeah, named it after my dear old meemaw.
You named a soul killer after your grandma and I'm the twisted one?
You should be going to hell, not... my point is,
I could have blown both your souls to dustjust now.
But I didn't.
'Cause I want you to know you can trust me.
Stealing ain't right, I know that.
But it ain't nothing compared to them souls
that took over the other Samuel boys.
You heard Beverly, them deados are meaner than out snakes.
And I ain't like them.
You think it's fair that we all getjudged to end up in the same awful place?
Psst, psst.
What is it?
Is there a chance that old slim, the real slim,
a little part of him is still in there?
No. Slim is long gone.
This "bumble" soul is in complete control now.
And he's playing you, Roy.
Deados will do anything to avoid going to hell.
Don't be fooled.
Now let's go.
Slim: I don't wanna go to hell. I don't belong there!
Please! Let me prove it to you. I can prove it to you, please.
I said, let's go, Roy. Slim: Please!
Please! Please come back! (Wailing)
I don't wanna go to hell!
Please! I don't belong there!
Jeanne: God have mercy on their souls.
Sorry.
The desecration of a house of god is the ultimate sin.
Ultimate?
Kidnapping, hurting children, murder, tad bit higher, but to each their own.
At least we know slim was telling the truth.
Angus was here. He was wearing this the day he was taken.
Man: (Muffled) Help me somebody!
Help me, please! Anybody!
Is anybody there? Please! Anybody, help...
Butterfield?
What the hell are you doing in there?
This guy Otis and his bunch of madmen!
They've seized my entire town,
just rode right in here, threw me in the back of this Van...
Slow down! Where'd they take everyone?
Up the mountain.
But the only thing up there is an old mine.
Ain't no one struck it lucky up there for...
Yeah. The gateway!
I did hear Otis say something about "opening a gateway."
The poisonous gas in the air is seeping through the gateway
from the depths of hell.
That rupture was Otis's soul escaping.
Oh, lord. Why are you praying?
Otis is going to use the humans to crack the whole thing wide open.
Why, so he can get back inside? No.
So he can let the souls of the damned back out.
Roy. Roy?
Jeanne: Otis is going to use those digging humans and turn them into deados.
After that, they'll keep pouring out,
eventually taking over and...
Possessing the rest of the world.
I get it. End of times.
Mmm-hmm.
But why doesn't Otis and his deado troop just do the digging themselves?
Like us, they're unaffected by the gas and stronger than the humans, right?
God created a defense, a kind of buffer between earth and hell
to stop the souls beneath from returning.
That buffer was all of humanity.
Only when they invite the souls back in are they able to rise again.
Roy: But that would never happen.
'Cause mankind would never welcome pure evil back into their world.
But by digging through the gateway,
that's exactly what they're doing.
(Laughs)
Okay, you just lost me with all that talk of hell and "souls escaping."
You women can be so overly dramatic.
Really? Well, clearly you don't want "us women"...
To save your ass?
No!
Fine, just do it yourself!
(Exclaims)
(Grunting)
A little help!
Roy: A little help!
A little more help! I'm trying.
Here! Take it.
(Laughs)
(Coughs)
Mr. Butterfield!
I have your tea and nightcap for you.
Mr. Butterfield, sir?
"Butterfield printing press"?
"500 copies"?
You didn't kill no lawman.
You're a victim of a gross injustice.
No way.
Now go.
Before they come back.
(Coughing)
I think I'm dying.
I know something that may help.
Get these to the folks who are still around.
Can you help me?
I've got some place else I need to be.
(Inhales deeply)
(Exhales)
Nell: You guys ready? Cooper: Yeah. All set, ma'am.
It's almost midnight.
Not much longer now.
Hey, hey!
Back from the door!
Hey.
I know that sword.
Yeah. We bagged ourselves some ripd.
Don't take your eyes off them.
It looked like she recognized you and could see me.
Yup. Now we know where those deados got their ripd weapons.
That's Nell boyce.
Recruitment got that one all wrong.
She robbed our armory before going into hiding.
Guess she found something worth coming out for.
(Man exclaiming)
(Both grunting)
Roy: You got some stones on you, boy.
But sometimes, saving the day requires you to admit
you can't do it alone.
Angus: Whoa.
You should better get some masks.
You're gonna croak real fast up in here if you don't.
Angus?
I'm sorry, do I know you, ma'am?
Of course you do, son. It's me...
Ro... (Gibberish)
Right.
No, uh...
No, you, uh, don't know me.
No, um...
I, uh, just heard...
Your name called out by somebody
when you were storming out of the cage
like a wild mustang.
"Careful, Angus!
"Don't do anything foolish, Angus. And so on."
That doesn't matter right now. What matters is...
I see you now.
And you got much more moxie than I ever gave you credit for.
I've been wrong to judge you unkindly since we met.
Which was, what, maybe a minute ago?
Miss...
Mabel.
The name's Mabel.
Are you married, Angus?
Angus: No, ma'am.
But I'm engaged.
To the most wondrous human that I've ever met.
And her father?
Handsome son of a bitch, ain't he?
What? (Stammers) I mean... I guess?
Not a guessing game, I'm sure he is.
You know, I just never understood why he never took a shine to me.
Maybe he stupidly thought that you marrying my... his daughter...
You were trying to replace him.
And you know...
What, with his poor wife taken ill by the pox a few years earlier...
Maybe he was scared he'd be left all alone.
Wow.
How could you possibly know all that?
It's a gift.
Some call it women's intuition.
Let me ask you something.
If he was standing right here, right now, what would you say to him?
Well, I would say, "Roy..."
"You handsome son-of-a-bitch,"
start with flattery, helps with future in-laws.
Angus: Um... so I'd say, "Roy...
"Not only do I think that you are...
A handsome son-of-a-bitch." Angus: A handsome son-of-a-bitch, but...
"I just want you to know that I could never compete with you.
"And I just hope you know how much I respect you.
"If I can ever be half the husband for my Charlotte
"that you've been a father, then I...
"I'll die knowing that I got it right."
You're gonna get that chance, I promise you.
For inspiration.
I told you, I got a gift.
Otherworldly, you might say.
Here we go.
(Ticking)
(Rumbling)
It's time.
Gateway is weaker than I thought.
They'll break through sooner than expected.
Bring 'em all in.
What do you want to do about the ripd?
Otis: I got plans for them.
(People clamoring)
Mabel! Mabel!
Help!
You stay down. You stay calm. Think of Charlotte!
Let me go with him.
Let me go with him!
We wanna go in! We wanna help!
Nell: I bet you do.
Ripd scum.
Hey, Joan, been a long time.
Still got this famous blade of yours.
As ex-ripd, I can tell you what these two really look like.
I can see them.
I can see everything.
And I can tell you it's too late for you
and your department, I'm afraid.
Tomorrow your ripd will be useless against our numbers.
When the gateway opens wide, deados will take over.
And I'm gonna rule over them all as I turn earth
into the tenth circle of hell. (Laughs)
Ah!
Just before dawn, bring them in so that
I can throw them into the abyss
before the gateway closes once again.
And for someone who hates fire as much as you,
Jeanne d'Arc,
you'll be bathing in it for all eternity.
(Exclaims)
Nell: Whoa-ho. (Chuckles)
The irony is so gloriously delicious.
(Laughs)
Do not let them out of your sight.
Jeanne d'Arc? Joan?
445 years dead?
I think pretty quick on my feet. I figured it out.
You're... Joan ofarc.
Wow.
Joan.
If it's all right with you, I'm just gonna keep calling you Jean.
Jeanne. Jean, Jeanne, samethmg.
Joan ofarc, first partner this lone wolf has ever really needed.
And I've enjoyed having you as my fourth partner.
Roycephus.
Well, let's hope those other three are really with us,
'cause we're gonna need all the help we can muster
to get the hell out of here.
(People grunting in effort)
Nell: Harder. Dig harder.
Get him up.
Deado: Get up. Angus: No, no, no. Please, I can help.
Come on. Deado: Back to work!
(Grunting) (Yelping)
(Laughing)
(All groaning)
I can feel it now.
In three...
Two...
One.
(People screaming)
(Yelling)
(Dead souls growling)
(Yelling)
(Exclaims)
Roy: So if they can get this gateway open,
is there anything that can close it?
Yes. Butwe'll need to extinguish the hellfire.
Only one thing can do that.
During the siege of Orleans, when I was alive,
I broke ranks to assess the damage done to our houses of god...
God, have mercy on their souls.
I discovered something truly magnificent.
The tears of Christ.
Slim: Hey, y'all. Room for one more at this party?
Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in.
Didn't think we'd see you again.
Shut up, Cooper. You talk too much.
Mm. How does it feel being on the "royceiphing" end?
Oh, that's hers, ain't it?
Yeah.
It's big.
Cooper: Whoa. Take it easy.
Not after the way she's treated me.
This is not what's planned for her.
You don't wanna go against orders.
Well, how about her, then?
Ireahyfeelhke shooting somebody.
I get that.
Oh, you do?
Well, that's great!
(Exclaiming)
(All grunting)
(Clears throat)
Well, do you trust me now?
So before I let you out,
I want you to promise me, my soul gets a retrial.
I want my current judgement revoked.
That's rare, but not impossible.
You let us out, and I'll see to it.
And you.
Before I let you out, you need to see this.
Remember, butterfield owns a printing press,
and like I said, I was framed.
I told you the bills weren't official.
Butterfield had them fake ones made.
Your beef is with him, not me, roycephus.
Call me Roy.
(Growling)
All right, listen to me. We gotta try and get out of here.
We gotta get out right now! No!
Daddy! No! (Sobs)
Please...
He's gone! He's been taken! Look at me!
Your daddy's gone. We have to go!
These tears need to be dropped into the eye of the hellfire,
dead center in the gateway.
Only then will it seal, sucking everything in with it.
Means we gotta get those humans out first.
Exactly.
Now go.
Uh, you're coming with.
Ican't, Roy. I... I just can't.
Go! Go!
Just stay with me. You'll get out. Just stay with me.
Come on! I think I get it!
Don't look at them!
Avert your eyes!
You've got fire in you that's greater than anything that ever came out of hell.
You got this. Come on, now!
Not a moment has passed since I was burned at the stake
that I have not heard my own dying screams.
I can't do fire, Roy.
I'm sorry.
Bring me in.
Hey, partner.
You've been safeguarding these for 445 years.
This is your moment.
Make them open their eyes!
Make them look!
I didn't call forthem.
No choice, the other one rebelled.
Took out Cooper and Brooks before I got her.
What should I do with this one?
Just throw him in!
Ready? Mmnpmnm.
Set. Mmm-hmm.
(Laughs maniacally)
Angus: This way. Come on.
Come on.
Go help Angus and the others. I'm gonna find me this Otis.
Okay.
Close your eyes! Close your eyes!
Come on, come on, come on!
Keep your eyes closed! Go! Move!
Go! Go!
Watch out! No!
Let's go! Come on!
(Straining)
Whoa!
(Grunting)
Roy: I get it. It's hot.
It's gonna get a whole lot hotter.
Julius: Please. Please.
No, no, no, no_.
Get out of here. Go!
(Grunting)
Slim: Keep your eyes closed!
Keep your eyes closed!
Come on! Go!
Go! Feeh
(yells)
(Growling) (Clamoring)
(Grunting)
(Screaming)
(Yells)
We need to hold on.
(Exclaims)
(Screams)
Hold on!
(Sighs)
(People murmuring)
Angus: Hey, it's over.
It's over.
That's some powerful tears you got there.
And the wretched are where they belong.
Roy: And Otis, too, from the looks of it.
Thanks for showing up when you did.
You didn't give me much choice.
(Straining) Little help, please.
Come on.
(Both straining)
Oh, it's really in there.
Jeanne: Yes, it's like the earth is tightened around it.
Otis: Your interference is really testing my Patience.
Appears I'll have to wait another 25 years
for this opportunity.
Astaroth!
As... what? What's an astaroth?
Jeanne: One-third of the evil Trinity.
The right hand to the devil himself.
Until I Rose to establish my own throne here on earth.
And you're not gonna stop me this time!
(Growling)
Jeanne: I've lost the tears, Roy.
I've got to get to my sword.
Roy: Hold on, now.
Look what got left behind.
Relax. I got this.
Hey, asshole-roth!
(Astaroth laughs)
(Grunts)
(Yells)
(Growling)
(Gasps)
Nothing more humiliating than having your soul taken
by your own weapon, huh? (Laughs)
Roy: The tears.
Let there be something left.
(Screeching)
Eat your heart out, Annie oakley.
(Indistinct chatter)
(Women laughing)
Jeanne: I'm quite sure butterfield does not expect us to settle our tab.
No, but we got some unfinished business.
I never meant to kill that sheriff!
Slim: Let's go. Please.
You got to believe me.
Slim: I found him cowering under the bed.
Go on, tell him the truth!
When Otis took over my town,
I tried to escape.
Caught me a train across the border.
Just so it happened, them Samuel bandits
were working over horseshoe at the same time,
stealing more folks for Otis as the train passed through.
I didn't want them Samuels bringing me back.
So, when I fired that gun...
I thought I was shooting one of them.
Butterfield!
No. No, come here.
Go on!
I knew he was there.
I knew he was the weakest.
I had them fake bills printed in order to save my own hide.
Why do you women even care so much about that damn sheriff?
I know what Marcus aurelius thinks about revenge.
But what does the Bible say, and make it quick?
Roy, if I start quoting the Bible, butterfield will die of old age.
(Chuckles softly) You know what to do.
I heard that you lost your lawman up there last night.
Is there anyone that you or the town wanna elect as new sheriff?
Yes, there is.
Him.
Him? Me?
And I'm going to be his deputy.
All right, then.
You saw firsthand where you're gonna end up.
There ain't nothing worse that I can to you than that.
Take him away. Lock him up.
Deputy.
Let's go!
Julius. Ah!
Release me! Deado outlaw...
To deado lawman. You've come a long way, son.
I guess you've earned the right for us to know who you really are.
Should we call you bumble?
No. Keep calling me slim.
I intend on bringing only honor to the name.
We'll come get you when your soul's retrial has been set.
But you step out of line here,
and we'll be coming back for a whole different reason.
Message Roy-ceiphed.
Well... (Sighs)
I guess us ladies need to go shopping for a couple of dresses.
Because_.
We cannot go to my daughter's wedding looking like this!
(Speaking French)
Yeah, whatever that means!
It means, "oh, my god!"
(Bells tolling)
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Parker!
(All cheering)
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
There they are. Come on.
One second, one second. Come on, come on.
Well, now.
Don't you two look simply magnificent?
Good luck, Angus. After today you'll face a far greater challenge than hell.
Marriage.
And you're gonna love every second of it.
Uh... (Chuckles)
Are you okay, Mabel?
'Cause I didn't understand a word that you just said.
(Speaking gibberish)
I think my sister must have burned her tongue up there.
She said she couldn't be happier
for you and your beautiful wife.
Charlotte: I know I just met her,
but it feels like I've known Mabel my whole life.
Angus: I know.
She is very...
Otherworldly.
Roy: So tell me why Angus can't understand me now.
Because now that you've approved of your daughter's marriage,
your soul considers Angus a loved one.
Hmm.
(Speaks French)
So, uh, what are we gonna do with these here horses?
Let them go.
They'll be here for us whenever we need them.
(Clicks tongue)
(Speaking French)
You know, I've been thinking, I get it.
You're ripd for the rest of your afterlife.
Duty, honor, servitude and all that.
But between you and me and the fencepost, I reckon' I'm done.
As soon as we're done with this shitty ride here,
I'm gonna tell hano to open up that portal
point me towards the sweet warmth of eternal glory,
and send me on my way.
I want you to know,
I'm real glad to have served with you and the ripd,
paflner
(laughs)
(Laughs) What... what's funny?
You didn't read your contract, did you?
Hell, no. That thing was thickerthan slim.
Well, eternal glory does await you, Roy,
but only after you served your minimum 100-year contract term.
One hundred years? Mmm-hmm.
Looks like you and me aren't done with each other yet, partner.
Come on!
(Grunts)
(Laughs)
(Spits)
God damn it.
Sorry, boss.
What I meant to say was... Damn it!