1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.MX
2
00:00:02,791 --> 00:00:04,208
DACIA FELIX
138 AD
3
00:00:04,291 --> 00:00:06,291
Shortly after the Roman-Dacian wars,
4
00:00:06,375 --> 00:00:09,416
a fragile peace persists
in the occupied Dacian lands.
5
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
6
00:00:09,500 --> 00:00:12,208
The peace is threatened
when the Latins discover
7
00:00:12,291 --> 00:00:14,458
that the Dacians possess technologies
8
00:00:14,541 --> 00:00:18,250
obtained from light years away
through the Babel/Sphynx 111 portal.
9
00:00:18,333 --> 00:00:20,291
A treasure that is now lost
10
00:00:20,375 --> 00:00:23,208
was sent to them
by "ancestors from the future"
11
00:00:23,291 --> 00:00:26,833
in order for the people to return
to their ancient homeland
12
00:00:26,916 --> 00:00:28,916
on the dark side of the Moon.
13
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,416
In order to make this journey possible,
14
00:00:31,500 --> 00:00:33,958
the Dacians have set up a travel agency
15
00:00:34,041 --> 00:00:37,666
and High Priest Zotula sends three men
to find the Chosen Being,
16
00:00:37,750 --> 00:00:40,750
the last piece required
for the ancestral journey.
17
00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:43,333
Roman forces
are already moving in on Dacia
18
00:00:43,416 --> 00:00:46,916
in order to take hold
of the future technologies at any cost.
19
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:50,625
The faith of the Dacians lies
in the hand of three men. Three…
20
00:01:15,333 --> 00:01:16,833
Come on!
21
00:02:20,583 --> 00:02:23,583
- The coins!
- My dear coins! The jerky!
22
00:02:23,666 --> 00:02:26,416
What has become of us, brothers?
23
00:02:26,500 --> 00:02:29,208
We're fugitives in our own kingdom.
24
00:02:29,291 --> 00:02:31,000
Dressed in foreigners' clothes.
25
00:02:31,083 --> 00:02:34,958
Yes. What are we going to do with Zotula?
26
00:02:35,041 --> 00:02:38,541
We did everything Geto-Dacianly possible.
27
00:02:39,458 --> 00:02:41,458
- But you can't fight history.
- Right!
28
00:02:41,541 --> 00:02:43,916
It's impossible to fight history.
29
00:02:45,958 --> 00:02:50,083
But we are Dacians,
descended from Thracians.
30
00:02:50,166 --> 00:02:54,000
We're descended from Dacians,
who are descended from Getae,
31
00:02:54,083 --> 00:02:57,125
who are descended from Thracians,
same as the Dacians…
32
00:02:57,208 --> 00:02:59,708
- I think that's enough.
- Yes.
33
00:02:59,791 --> 00:03:01,541
Don't take it to heart.
34
00:03:03,375 --> 00:03:05,166
Right.
35
00:03:05,250 --> 00:03:09,166
The Romans are coming back, brothers!
36
00:03:09,250 --> 00:03:11,708
I can't keep running anymore.
37
00:03:11,791 --> 00:03:14,000
Zalmoxis…
38
00:03:14,083 --> 00:03:17,833
Code Lightspeed!
39
00:03:21,708 --> 00:03:27,291
ZORILLO'S SECRET
THE DAC SIDE OF THE MOON
40
00:04:12,833 --> 00:04:15,458
THREE DAYS EARLIER
41
00:05:19,666 --> 00:05:23,125
Spittoon for the Romans. it's good.
42
00:05:26,041 --> 00:05:28,500
Sorry, not interested.
43
00:05:28,583 --> 00:05:30,958
It's copper. Quality merchandise.
44
00:05:31,041 --> 00:05:33,833
I've had many of these. They don't sell.
45
00:05:35,041 --> 00:05:36,541
At least one koson.
46
00:05:37,708 --> 00:05:41,666
I can buy a dozen of these
for half a koson from the consignment.
47
00:05:41,750 --> 00:05:45,000
Move along, I have other clients.
Look, I'll give you…
48
00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:49,583
a quarter denar or two bronze arrow tips.
49
00:05:49,666 --> 00:05:51,541
Give me half a denar.
50
00:05:51,625 --> 00:05:53,750
Take a quarter and let me be!
51
00:05:58,208 --> 00:06:00,916
Come on, man,
you think you're Amalius at the spa?
52
00:06:01,500 --> 00:06:03,791
Stop throwing corn at me,
it gives me rashes!
53
00:06:04,625 --> 00:06:06,583
- I'll wet myself!
- Get your own pool!
54
00:06:06,666 --> 00:06:08,666
Go fix your barrel at home!
55
00:06:10,750 --> 00:06:14,125
It's not worth it
just to take a bath every five years!
56
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:17,458
Get dressed faster,
you're traumatizing the chicken!
57
00:06:18,583 --> 00:06:20,625
- Cabbage, cabbage, badger!
- Foal, foal!
58
00:06:20,708 --> 00:06:22,875
I have big news, boys!
59
00:06:22,958 --> 00:06:27,125
- Wifey, three goblets!
- Why don't you move your own ass?
60
00:06:32,625 --> 00:06:36,333
Again with these bums!
Are we running a bar here?
61
00:06:37,625 --> 00:06:41,583
Three, I don't exist for you anymore.
Am I invisible or what?
62
00:06:41,666 --> 00:06:43,416
Asshole!
63
00:06:44,916 --> 00:06:48,458
I won't drink with you anymore.
Go drink with your hoes!
64
00:06:48,541 --> 00:06:50,208
Muses.
65
00:06:50,291 --> 00:06:54,208
You've lost it since you've started
running around with these tramps!
66
00:06:55,166 --> 00:06:57,125
You even pawned off grandpa's bust!
67
00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:59,708
- That cheap-ass!
- He was a Getae!
68
00:07:03,333 --> 00:07:07,416
You know the one with the Getae?
Get away from Zorillo!
69
00:07:07,500 --> 00:07:11,000
- Cheers!
- Boys, you know the emperor's coming?
70
00:07:11,708 --> 00:07:13,250
You do know.
71
00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:16,208
I hope you didn't betray our mission.
72
00:07:16,291 --> 00:07:18,750
- He comes for the treasure.
- What treasure?
73
00:07:18,833 --> 00:07:21,625
- The treasure!
- Excuse me, I'm hungry.
74
00:07:21,708 --> 00:07:25,583
- Want some? It's striped pork jerky.
- Shut it!
75
00:07:25,666 --> 00:07:27,875
- Tell me!
- The biggest treasure ever.
76
00:07:27,958 --> 00:07:30,791
Many, many crazy inventions.
77
00:07:30,875 --> 00:07:32,916
The Romans can't find it.
78
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:35,208
It's said to be here,
in the Valley of Envy.
79
00:07:35,291 --> 00:07:38,250
- How do you know this?
- Rumors are going around.
80
00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:41,541
- Yeah? Any other rumors going around?
- That's it.
81
00:07:42,375 --> 00:07:45,875
Stop! Trust me. Can't a man make a joke?
82
00:07:45,958 --> 00:07:47,958
You gave me a cramp.
83
00:07:48,041 --> 00:07:49,916
- Tell me!
- Okay.
84
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:53,083
There's a map.
The governor's looking for it.
85
00:07:53,166 --> 00:07:57,708
It should be hidden in the turd field
where Baznabostes had the pig farm.
86
00:07:57,791 --> 00:08:00,041
- What?
- Manure, that is.
87
00:08:00,125 --> 00:08:02,500
- Yes.
- I used to work there when I was little.
88
00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:06,041
Helper to the temporary
junior assistant pigsty man.
89
00:08:07,625 --> 00:08:10,083
The Romans dug a hole the size of China.
90
00:08:10,166 --> 00:08:12,208
Of course they didn't find it!
91
00:08:12,291 --> 00:08:15,083
Baznabostes kept his belongings
92
00:08:15,166 --> 00:08:18,375
in the Valley of Slime,
near the slaughterhouse.
93
00:08:18,458 --> 00:08:22,875
I found scrolls and doilies there and…
94
00:08:22,958 --> 00:08:26,416
We're going to the Valley of Slime.
We make a camp fire
95
00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:28,958
and tomorrow we search for it rested.
96
00:08:29,041 --> 00:08:31,250
- Come on! Up, up…
- And away!
97
00:08:31,333 --> 00:08:33,333
And a pair of earrings.
98
00:08:35,291 --> 00:08:37,208
- Zorillo, wait!
- Why?
99
00:08:37,291 --> 00:08:40,500
We have to show this fence,
they gave us money for the film.
100
00:08:40,583 --> 00:08:43,750
Oh, yeah! Star Stone,
there's no rock like our own!
101
00:08:43,833 --> 00:08:45,458
Excellent! Back to history!
102
00:08:58,500 --> 00:09:01,041
When the wind blows
103
00:09:01,125 --> 00:09:04,500
The sea begins to talk
104
00:09:05,500 --> 00:09:08,333
She's angry
105
00:09:08,416 --> 00:09:13,625
At those who have lied
106
00:09:13,708 --> 00:09:18,333
When the wind blows
107
00:09:18,416 --> 00:09:21,875
The sea begins to talk
108
00:09:26,041 --> 00:09:27,583
Sorceress Vesuvia.
109
00:09:27,666 --> 00:09:31,458
She's angry at those…
110
00:09:31,541 --> 00:09:35,000
Tell me, Vesuvia, what lies before me?
111
00:09:35,750 --> 00:09:38,208
Amalius, be prepared!
112
00:09:38,291 --> 00:09:40,541
The emperor will pay you a visit.
113
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:44,875
The emperor?
114
00:09:44,958 --> 00:09:47,416
- For real?
- For real.
115
00:09:47,500 --> 00:09:50,583
The emperor seeks the Dacian treasure.
116
00:09:54,750 --> 00:09:57,333
She's angry
117
00:10:05,708 --> 00:10:09,291
- When will he arrive?
- Soon. Very soon.
118
00:10:09,958 --> 00:10:11,791
Where is the treasure?
119
00:10:11,875 --> 00:10:14,166
This is too great a mystery for me.
120
00:10:14,250 --> 00:10:17,208
But I can tell you the fashions of my day.
121
00:10:17,291 --> 00:10:20,458
Not interested. To the lions!
122
00:10:20,541 --> 00:10:24,708
No! Mercy, please! No!
123
00:10:28,291 --> 00:10:31,083
Dorianus Jerkus Captivus!
124
00:10:32,291 --> 00:10:35,500
Sing me something,
anything except "Baldy Swims".
125
00:10:36,541 --> 00:10:40,333
Jerkus John, illustrious Amalius.
126
00:10:40,416 --> 00:10:42,208
"Baldy Swims" it is!
127
00:10:43,583 --> 00:10:45,666
Baldy swims
128
00:10:45,750 --> 00:10:48,208
Time for my massage, girls.
129
00:10:55,083 --> 00:10:56,916
- So firm!
- Yeah.
130
00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,250
- He has a tattoo!
- Yeah!
131
00:10:59,333 --> 00:11:01,666
From my grandpa. Crazy man.
132
00:11:01,750 --> 00:11:04,666
He said:
"I left you the biggest treasure."
133
00:11:04,750 --> 00:11:05,916
It was a tattoo.
134
00:11:08,666 --> 00:11:10,708
Pork jerky goes down well with red wine.
135
00:11:10,791 --> 00:11:13,375
- Forget abut that!
- Shut up!
136
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:15,583
Turn the heat down!
137
00:11:16,208 --> 00:11:18,875
What do you do for a living, sexy boy?
138
00:11:19,541 --> 00:11:22,291
Me? I'm an entrepreneur, ma'am.
139
00:11:24,875 --> 00:11:27,750
And you? You play the flute?
140
00:11:27,833 --> 00:11:29,833
They prostitute. On the Appian Way.
141
00:11:31,750 --> 00:11:33,666
Someone's coming!
142
00:11:33,750 --> 00:11:35,541
Who are you? Stop or I'll shoot!
143
00:11:35,625 --> 00:11:37,708
I'm a Dacian, like you fine people.
144
00:11:38,375 --> 00:11:40,958
- What's your name?
- Twolighterses.
145
00:11:45,333 --> 00:11:47,708
How can that be your name?
146
00:11:47,791 --> 00:11:50,958
Zorillo… Twolighterses, got a light?
147
00:11:53,333 --> 00:11:54,750
I don't smoke.
148
00:11:55,291 --> 00:11:59,500
- Healthy man.
- Yeah. Tell us! What brings you here?
149
00:11:59,583 --> 00:12:01,833
I'm looking for Zorillo,
Zdrelos and Bezmetis.
150
00:12:01,916 --> 00:12:06,458
- That's us. Go ahead!
- Very well, then. I carry a message.
151
00:12:07,458 --> 00:12:11,916
But I have to ask you a security question,
to make sure you're the addressees.
152
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:15,500
- Shoot!
- You have to give me the password.
153
00:12:15,583 --> 00:12:18,541
Why do you two have beards
and Zdrelos doesn't?
154
00:12:20,250 --> 00:12:23,250
- What? Like I don't have a beard?
- You call that a beard?
155
00:12:24,333 --> 00:12:25,791
It's you!
156
00:12:26,541 --> 00:12:28,125
Here's the message!
157
00:12:28,208 --> 00:12:30,208
I am envoy High Priest Zotula's envoy.
158
00:12:32,625 --> 00:12:34,208
At dawn…
159
00:12:34,791 --> 00:12:37,250
when the skies turn blue,
160
00:12:37,333 --> 00:12:39,250
be at his temple.
161
00:12:39,333 --> 00:12:41,750
A sacred mission awaits you.
162
00:12:41,833 --> 00:12:46,625
A mission that will decide the fate
of all us Dacians.
163
00:12:47,250 --> 00:12:49,791
Zotula has chosen you as his champions.
164
00:12:49,875 --> 00:12:53,750
Us? Why us?
Was there nobody else to choose from?
165
00:12:53,833 --> 00:12:57,000
Maybe a dying man or an old dude.
166
00:12:58,125 --> 00:12:59,916
I don't have the answer.
167
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:04,625
It is up to you to carry out this mission
given by Zalmoxis himself.
168
00:13:04,708 --> 00:13:06,791
Be worthy! Be brave!
169
00:13:06,875 --> 00:13:09,041
Complete this task!
170
00:13:09,833 --> 00:13:13,083
Okay… Sorry to digress!
171
00:13:13,166 --> 00:13:16,916
But… How did you know how to find us?
172
00:13:19,041 --> 00:13:20,708
It's in the script.
173
00:13:22,458 --> 00:13:24,208
Who wrote this script?
174
00:13:25,166 --> 00:13:26,916
My warriors…
175
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:29,125
- Giddy up!
- We don't have horses.
176
00:13:31,125 --> 00:13:32,583
Then…
177
00:13:33,250 --> 00:13:34,708
See you!
178
00:13:38,458 --> 00:13:41,416
Come on! Kisses, girls, bye-bye!
179
00:13:41,500 --> 00:13:45,125
Wait up! Don't leave me alone here!
180
00:14:11,666 --> 00:14:15,958
Zip, zap, zoom, fsst!
181
00:14:16,041 --> 00:14:19,708
Zip, zap, zoom, fsst!
182
00:14:20,333 --> 00:14:23,250
Zip, zap, zoom, fsst!
183
00:14:23,333 --> 00:14:25,208
Cabbage, cabbage, badger!
184
00:14:25,291 --> 00:14:29,208
- We don't want to trouble you. Excuse us!
- Get down on your knees!
185
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:41,625
Zip, zap, zoom, dormouse!
186
00:14:50,375 --> 00:14:55,833
I should have you flogged
for interrupting the holy service.
187
00:14:57,666 --> 00:15:01,000
- We're sorry, great Zotula!
- Quiet!
188
00:15:01,583 --> 00:15:05,041
You pronounce it
with the accent on the "U".
189
00:15:05,125 --> 00:15:08,666
We don't place the accent
on the first syllable like the Huns do.
190
00:15:09,708 --> 00:15:11,583
I have summoned you here…
191
00:15:12,208 --> 00:15:15,208
What I have to tell you
will shake you to your core.
192
00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:20,458
Zalmoxis himself spoke to me.
193
00:15:21,083 --> 00:15:24,708
And I have chosen you,
brave sons of Dacia,
194
00:15:24,791 --> 00:15:26,833
for a sacred quest.
195
00:15:30,291 --> 00:15:34,250
Our people's fate hangs in the balance.
196
00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:36,875
It can be saved
197
00:15:36,958 --> 00:15:41,833
only if you accomplish
the task I shall entrust you with.
198
00:15:42,750 --> 00:15:45,166
It pertains to the Grand Journey.
199
00:15:45,250 --> 00:15:47,625
This journey must be undertaken
200
00:15:47,708 --> 00:15:51,791
by a being Zalmoxis knows
201
00:15:51,875 --> 00:15:56,541
as the keeper of our holy spirit.
202
00:16:01,041 --> 00:16:03,083
Could it be the dancing nymph?
203
00:16:03,166 --> 00:16:05,416
There's no nymph here.
204
00:16:06,291 --> 00:16:10,000
It is the short-haired
silver striped dormouse
205
00:16:10,083 --> 00:16:13,958
which lives in burrows
in the Valley of Envy.
206
00:16:14,666 --> 00:16:16,541
It is rarely seen by human eyes.
207
00:16:16,625 --> 00:16:19,833
It comes out only during the full moon,
208
00:16:19,916 --> 00:16:23,958
and then, mesmerized by the moonlight,
it stares at the Moon
209
00:16:24,041 --> 00:16:26,041
and can be caught.
210
00:16:27,166 --> 00:16:29,583
Catch it and bring it to me!
211
00:16:30,375 --> 00:16:34,333
Otherwise, you shall rot
in history's graveyard
212
00:16:34,416 --> 00:16:37,250
as villainous traitors.
213
00:16:38,833 --> 00:16:42,166
Great Zotula, we shall spare no effort…
214
00:16:42,250 --> 00:16:45,000
For the quality of our mission.
215
00:16:45,625 --> 00:16:47,458
Beat it!
216
00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:50,208
Cabbage, cabbage, badger.
217
00:16:50,916 --> 00:16:52,291
Let's go!
218
00:16:53,833 --> 00:16:57,583
The emperor's visit is at hand.
We must find the treasure.
219
00:16:57,666 --> 00:17:01,208
General Demetrius Nullius Magnus,
present the facts!
220
00:17:02,041 --> 00:17:05,666
The most likely perimeter is…
221
00:17:06,333 --> 00:17:10,375
to the southeast of the Valley of Envy,
or so I heard.
222
00:17:10,458 --> 00:17:13,333
- You started drinking again?
- No.
223
00:17:13,416 --> 00:17:16,416
- It's because of your imminent triumph.
- What?
224
00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:19,583
Finding the treasure,
great Pius Amalius Maximus!
225
00:17:19,666 --> 00:17:24,083
Turn the whole of Dacia upside down!
Crucify, butcher, castrate, whatever!
226
00:17:24,166 --> 00:17:27,375
We must find it before Trajan gets here.
227
00:17:27,458 --> 00:17:28,875
It shall be done.
228
00:17:28,958 --> 00:17:32,166
Trajan's informant network
is without fault.
229
00:17:32,875 --> 00:17:36,083
- Are you mimicking me?
- Well… Sorry!
230
00:17:38,333 --> 00:17:43,916
Dwarves have always captivated me
with their erotic potential.
231
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:47,958
Livia dear, you've lost your mind
after you fell from the litter.
232
00:17:48,041 --> 00:17:51,208
- Who were you with in the litter?
- Cecilia!
233
00:17:52,041 --> 00:17:55,666
Girls, this is Cecilia,
my best friend from Rome.
234
00:17:55,750 --> 00:17:59,083
She's the purest of them all.
235
00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:04,708
Livia, Antonia, Cecilia.
236
00:18:04,791 --> 00:18:08,500
May the new Thracian slave
make you wetter than the month of October!
237
00:18:09,625 --> 00:18:11,125
Oh, and…
238
00:18:11,208 --> 00:18:13,375
Cecilia was born in Dacia.
239
00:18:13,458 --> 00:18:17,458
She was taken to Rome
after the emperor's conquest.
240
00:18:17,541 --> 00:18:20,958
Is is true what they say
about the locals' virility?
241
00:18:21,041 --> 00:18:23,375
She was too young for that when she left.
242
00:18:23,458 --> 00:18:27,375
It's scandalously true.
If you don't mind the smell of cheese.
243
00:18:27,458 --> 00:18:28,750
Not at all!
244
00:18:28,833 --> 00:18:30,375
What news do you bring?
245
00:18:30,458 --> 00:18:32,500
The same old plots.
246
00:18:34,750 --> 00:18:36,500
Octavian!
247
00:18:36,583 --> 00:18:38,708
Come to mommy!
248
00:18:38,791 --> 00:18:43,791
I am very concerned abut his education
in this barbarous province.
249
00:18:43,875 --> 00:18:45,166
Come here!
250
00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:49,708
Rome was even more boring.
251
00:18:49,791 --> 00:18:52,500
I brought him the best tutor from Rome.
252
00:18:52,583 --> 00:18:55,000
And he just runs about.
253
00:18:55,083 --> 00:18:58,041
I prefer hunting to rhetoric.
254
00:18:59,583 --> 00:19:02,000
Extorsionum non dispuntandum est.
255
00:19:03,333 --> 00:19:05,958
Such a statesman!
256
00:19:06,666 --> 00:19:08,833
Yes! Trajan is…
257
00:19:09,791 --> 00:19:13,250
exacting, yes.
258
00:19:13,333 --> 00:19:16,333
We have to prepare a lavish feast.
259
00:19:16,416 --> 00:19:21,166
For this, I have invited
the supplier Smulik.
260
00:19:51,375 --> 00:19:53,916
SMULIK PAWN SHOP
261
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:11,208
- Cabbage, cabbage!
- Whatever you say.
262
00:20:17,375 --> 00:20:21,791
Do you have any stuffed toys, ya know?
263
00:20:23,125 --> 00:20:25,458
Want to buy or just asking around?
264
00:20:25,541 --> 00:20:30,500
To buy. Something that looks
like a mouse, a dormouse.
265
00:20:31,791 --> 00:20:33,416
In silver, please.
266
00:20:39,541 --> 00:20:42,125
Lookie here! You're in luck.
267
00:20:42,208 --> 00:20:46,791
Crouching squirrel, 19 cm tall,
second-hand, barely used.
268
00:20:46,875 --> 00:20:49,000
It played songs, but it broke.
269
00:20:49,083 --> 00:20:51,791
Very good, 16 kosons,
if you charge it, it moves.
270
00:20:52,458 --> 00:20:55,583
16 kosons, what? Where do I get that?
271
00:20:56,125 --> 00:20:58,291
I don't… Well… You know…
272
00:21:00,125 --> 00:21:02,500
Come on, give me a discount!
273
00:21:11,250 --> 00:21:14,458
Alright, then! Just for you…
274
00:21:16,458 --> 00:21:19,166
- 16 kosons.
- There we go! Thank you!
275
00:21:19,250 --> 00:21:21,583
Seven plus three plus nine, sixteen.
276
00:21:23,291 --> 00:21:24,791
Got'em!
277
00:21:26,791 --> 00:21:29,125
MERCURIAL EVENTS
278
00:21:52,500 --> 00:21:56,458
You see nobody's been sacrificed
to Zalmoxis today?
279
00:21:57,583 --> 00:21:59,666
Maybe it's Open Doors Day of the Dead?
280
00:22:00,708 --> 00:22:02,875
The governor's probably giving a party.
281
00:22:03,666 --> 00:22:05,666
It's a religious holiday, for sure!
282
00:22:07,208 --> 00:22:11,416
House, louse!
283
00:22:13,208 --> 00:22:17,458
House, louse…
284
00:22:17,541 --> 00:22:19,125
Dormouse!
285
00:22:21,750 --> 00:22:24,666
High Priest, we are here to inform you
286
00:22:24,750 --> 00:22:28,500
that we caught the silver dormouse.
287
00:22:28,583 --> 00:22:29,791
Ya know.
288
00:22:31,125 --> 00:22:32,583
Posterior.
289
00:22:32,666 --> 00:22:37,083
But it got sick and I don't know…
290
00:22:37,791 --> 00:22:41,500
It short-circuited and died.
291
00:22:42,375 --> 00:22:45,291
Zalmoxis welcomed its soul, ya know.
292
00:22:45,375 --> 00:22:49,208
- What is this? Are you mocking me?
- No!
293
00:22:49,291 --> 00:22:52,125
You do not deserve to live.
294
00:22:52,208 --> 00:22:54,041
Long live!
295
00:22:54,125 --> 00:22:56,250
We don't deserve to be sacrificed.
296
00:22:57,041 --> 00:22:58,875
You want to a curse upon your heads?
297
00:22:58,958 --> 00:23:03,000
No, High Priest, please!
298
00:23:03,083 --> 00:23:06,708
I give you my sincere apologies
on behalf of the whole team.
299
00:23:06,791 --> 00:23:09,958
They gave everything, but it seems…
300
00:23:10,041 --> 00:23:14,166
We wanted things to turn out well,
but the dormouse wanted more,
301
00:23:14,250 --> 00:23:18,583
ran away from us
and we just made it a little statue,
302
00:23:18,666 --> 00:23:20,958
so we don't come to you empty-handed.
303
00:23:21,041 --> 00:23:23,916
But we know this is not the real dormouse.
304
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:26,583
Leave my sight at once!
305
00:23:26,666 --> 00:23:29,583
If you don't bring me the silver dormouse,
306
00:23:29,666 --> 00:23:34,291
you shall rot away
in history's graveyard of shame!
307
00:23:35,541 --> 00:23:38,125
Let's catch it!
We'll drop it off at your door.
308
00:23:50,250 --> 00:23:52,916
Andrew, get that, it's done.
309
00:23:55,666 --> 00:23:57,458
The electric saw's busted.
310
00:24:05,416 --> 00:24:06,958
It doesn't work.
311
00:24:09,333 --> 00:24:10,166
The saw!
312
00:24:31,416 --> 00:24:32,916
- Roma!
- Victrix!
313
00:24:33,583 --> 00:24:35,166
- Roma!
- Victrix!
314
00:24:35,250 --> 00:24:36,666
- Roma!
- Victrix!
315
00:24:36,750 --> 00:24:39,083
- Roma!
- Victrix!
316
00:24:39,166 --> 00:24:40,500
- Roma!
- Victrix!
317
00:24:40,583 --> 00:24:42,625
- Roma!
- Victrix!
318
00:24:44,541 --> 00:24:46,625
Troops, hold!
319
00:24:48,166 --> 00:24:50,208
In the name of the Emperor,
320
00:24:50,291 --> 00:24:54,000
for the citizens' safety,
321
00:24:54,083 --> 00:24:58,208
we will institute, at sundown,
322
00:24:58,291 --> 00:25:01,875
a state of high alert in Dacia Felix.
323
00:25:02,625 --> 00:25:06,125
It will be forbidden to gather in groups
324
00:25:06,208 --> 00:25:10,416
of four or more people
on public property.
325
00:25:11,291 --> 00:25:16,500
Groups found walking about after sundown
326
00:25:16,583 --> 00:25:21,541
will be tried with the utmost severity.
327
00:25:22,375 --> 00:25:27,791
Long live Pius Amalius Maximus,
328
00:25:27,875 --> 00:25:31,291
our beloved governor!
329
00:25:31,375 --> 00:25:33,750
Ave Amalius!
330
00:25:36,875 --> 00:25:38,916
Good job, man!
331
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:42,625
What… I swear it was working before.
332
00:25:42,708 --> 00:25:45,375
It moved its paws and tail like this.
333
00:25:45,458 --> 00:25:50,166
My mistake was that I didn't charge it,
but, you know…
334
00:25:50,250 --> 00:25:52,791
To err is human, you know?
335
00:25:52,875 --> 00:25:55,583
You made mistakes, Zorillo, and you…
336
00:25:55,666 --> 00:25:58,291
- I made mistakes?
- Every now and then…
337
00:25:58,375 --> 00:26:01,458
- That mouse is hard to catch!
- I agree.
338
00:26:01,541 --> 00:26:05,583
Stop this nonsense!
We have to complete our quest!
339
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:12,083
Maybe we'll get lucky,
find the treasure and open up a shop.
340
00:26:13,458 --> 00:26:15,791
And we drive Smulik out of business.
341
00:26:39,333 --> 00:26:40,708
Aqua!
342
00:26:42,583 --> 00:26:43,833
Aqua!
343
00:26:49,333 --> 00:26:50,875
Wake up!
344
00:26:52,041 --> 00:26:53,583
Get him up!
345
00:26:54,666 --> 00:26:56,333
He's so heavy!
346
00:26:58,666 --> 00:27:00,666
- Aqua!
- Get him here.
347
00:27:01,375 --> 00:27:03,208
Sorry, I gotta go.
348
00:27:03,291 --> 00:27:05,000
- Wait up!
- What?
349
00:27:05,083 --> 00:27:07,958
This is a scroll,
and you want to wipe your ass with it?
350
00:27:11,458 --> 00:27:16,625
If I know any Latin…
"New emperorus, deadus Trajanus."
351
00:27:16,708 --> 00:27:18,500
Aqua!
352
00:27:18,583 --> 00:27:22,333
Stop it!
And there's a new emperor, Hadrian.
353
00:27:22,416 --> 00:27:26,166
Reading is for Greek philosophers
who like it up the butt!
354
00:27:26,250 --> 00:27:29,375
Why can't this loser tell us?
355
00:27:30,166 --> 00:27:31,708
What are you doing?
356
00:27:31,791 --> 00:27:34,125
You hit the colonizer with the scroll?
357
00:27:34,208 --> 00:27:38,166
What are you doing, Zalmoxis bless me,
you brought this guy here?
358
00:27:38,250 --> 00:27:41,166
Don't you bother me enough,
now you bring Romans?
359
00:27:41,250 --> 00:27:44,458
What if he dies here? Take him away!
360
00:27:44,541 --> 00:27:46,708
- She's right. Cross the fence.
- Move it!
361
00:27:46,791 --> 00:27:49,625
Yes. Come on!
362
00:27:49,708 --> 00:27:52,916
What if he wakes up
and reports us for not helping him?
363
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:54,916
You're right. Come on!
364
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,000
Better if he dies beyond the fence.
365
00:27:57,083 --> 00:27:58,958
But we are loving!
366
00:27:59,041 --> 00:28:02,291
We're a hospitable people.
At least give him some water.
367
00:28:02,375 --> 00:28:04,458
A cup of water, wifey!
368
00:28:04,541 --> 00:28:05,916
- Come on!
- And yet…
369
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:09,083
I'm not moving him anymore!
My stitches broke!
370
00:28:12,416 --> 00:28:14,666
- There!
- Aqua!
371
00:28:20,041 --> 00:28:22,000
- Gratias tibi!
- His name is Tibi!
372
00:28:22,083 --> 00:28:24,541
- He said Tibi's great.
- Hello, Tiberiu.
373
00:28:24,625 --> 00:28:28,250
We… You fellus from the horseus,
we saving you.
374
00:28:28,333 --> 00:28:30,666
- Alley-oop!
- Me, Zorillo.
375
00:28:30,750 --> 00:28:33,416
- Pulchra es!
- Hey, don't swear at us!
376
00:28:33,500 --> 00:28:34,916
He means well.
377
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:37,291
What's your mission around these parts?
378
00:28:37,375 --> 00:28:42,083
Imperator Trajan e mortus.
379
00:28:42,166 --> 00:28:47,291
Imperator novi Hadrianus visit Dacia ese.
380
00:28:47,375 --> 00:28:49,791
- Told you!
- He wants the treasure.
381
00:28:53,291 --> 00:28:56,750
You have one minute
to leave the premises with the Roman!
382
00:28:56,833 --> 00:28:59,333
You helped him, gave him water. Enough!
383
00:28:59,416 --> 00:29:02,166
Zorillo already looks
like a Roman tribune.
384
00:29:05,791 --> 00:29:07,375
Let's go to your place.
385
00:29:09,125 --> 00:29:12,625
Okay. Cosa nostra over the fence est.
386
00:29:12,708 --> 00:29:15,666
We're going to my place. I have TV, WiFi…
387
00:29:15,750 --> 00:29:17,333
- Come on!
- Move!
388
00:29:17,416 --> 00:29:20,083
- Help him!
- What about me?
389
00:29:20,166 --> 00:29:21,625
Bring the horse!
390
00:29:30,541 --> 00:29:34,125
Let's hurry!
Zdrelos could be coming any minute now.
391
00:29:35,458 --> 00:29:39,083
So what, woman?
Can't you just string him along?
392
00:29:41,750 --> 00:29:45,208
You didn't visit me last night,
even though you promised.
393
00:29:46,416 --> 00:29:48,458
You know there was a full moon.
394
00:29:48,541 --> 00:29:52,291
The full moon's tonight, woman. Tonight.
395
00:29:52,375 --> 00:29:53,583
Besides…
396
00:29:54,375 --> 00:29:57,375
Why are you in such a hurry?
What's so hard to understand?
397
00:29:57,458 --> 00:30:01,125
I have a big project to finish.
398
00:30:01,208 --> 00:30:04,916
I thought I was your greatest work.
399
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:06,583
The homeland!
400
00:30:08,541 --> 00:30:11,625
The homeland is the greatest work!
401
00:30:13,958 --> 00:30:16,291
Have fun with your homeland, then!
402
00:30:19,125 --> 00:30:21,500
- Could you dye my hair?
- How?
403
00:30:21,583 --> 00:30:23,000
- Silver.
- Silver?
404
00:30:23,083 --> 00:30:24,500
Yes.
405
00:30:24,583 --> 00:30:27,625
Silver, just like that, wow!
406
00:30:27,708 --> 00:30:30,208
Wait on the chair,
I'll be there in a jiffy.
407
00:30:30,291 --> 00:30:33,041
Let me replace this. There we go!
408
00:30:36,500 --> 00:30:37,916
Sorry! Wait a sec!
409
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:40,541
Hey, kid! I know you're there.
410
00:30:40,625 --> 00:30:43,791
- It's your final entry.
- Yeah, I know. Dad will pay you.
411
00:30:43,875 --> 00:30:46,125
His dad is a great guy.
412
00:30:46,208 --> 00:30:48,833
I give them loans
for relieving themselves.
413
00:30:48,916 --> 00:30:51,541
Take a seat, please. Daciana!
414
00:30:52,083 --> 00:30:54,916
Daciana, we have guests, dear! Daciana!
415
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:58,291
What do you know, she's not home.
I bet she won't answer either.
416
00:30:58,375 --> 00:31:00,541
No…
417
00:31:00,625 --> 00:31:02,208
What is?
418
00:31:02,291 --> 00:31:04,083
- A toy.
- Nothing!
419
00:31:04,166 --> 00:31:07,791
A toy, me and my wife throw it around
for the dog to bring back.
420
00:31:07,875 --> 00:31:09,583
Look what we have here!
421
00:31:11,375 --> 00:31:13,208
Are you betterus?
422
00:31:13,291 --> 00:31:16,416
- Licores?
- Not liquor. Beer.
423
00:31:16,500 --> 00:31:18,583
Donde?
424
00:31:18,666 --> 00:31:21,250
From around here. Nature giveth.
425
00:31:21,333 --> 00:31:22,541
Gift!
426
00:31:26,666 --> 00:31:29,000
Helicopterum.
427
00:31:29,083 --> 00:31:32,208
No. Listen!
428
00:31:32,291 --> 00:31:35,791
Rotator. Grande scarecrow.
429
00:31:35,875 --> 00:31:38,791
Crows come and propeller…
430
00:31:40,458 --> 00:31:42,791
Slow… boom!
431
00:31:43,708 --> 00:31:45,250
Mortua est.
432
00:31:45,333 --> 00:31:47,291
Es.
433
00:31:47,375 --> 00:31:49,750
Es. Roman guy!
434
00:31:52,333 --> 00:31:55,208
- What a surprise!
- Darling!
435
00:31:55,291 --> 00:31:58,416
Look, dear, we have guests!
436
00:31:58,500 --> 00:32:00,041
We found a Roman.
437
00:32:00,125 --> 00:32:03,166
This silver hair looks so good!
Who gave it to you?
438
00:32:03,250 --> 00:32:06,416
- The blacksmith, who else?
- He made you so beautiful?
439
00:32:06,500 --> 00:32:08,875
Yeah. I'm beat.
440
00:32:10,125 --> 00:32:12,916
- Pulchra es.
- Yeah, pulchra.
441
00:32:15,041 --> 00:32:18,083
Relax a bit-ish. Parlare something.
442
00:32:18,166 --> 00:32:20,875
The sun is setting
and we have to catch the dormouse.
443
00:32:20,958 --> 00:32:22,500
Let's go!
444
00:32:22,583 --> 00:32:25,791
Mister colonizer, rest profundum.
445
00:32:25,875 --> 00:32:27,708
Calm and relaxation.
446
00:32:27,791 --> 00:32:29,666
Let's go, Bezmetis!
447
00:32:57,416 --> 00:32:59,791
- He ran that way!
- We shouldn't scare it.
448
00:32:59,875 --> 00:33:01,666
It won't get scared.
449
00:33:04,833 --> 00:33:06,541
There's a fire.
450
00:33:06,625 --> 00:33:10,625
My cousins, Bostanes and Castanes,
are probably frying bacon.
451
00:33:10,708 --> 00:33:13,416
Bostanes! Castanes!
452
00:33:13,500 --> 00:33:16,583
Guys!
453
00:33:18,125 --> 00:33:19,791
- Ave!
- Sorry!
454
00:33:19,875 --> 00:33:21,541
- We don't…
- Stop!
455
00:33:21,625 --> 00:33:23,500
We don't want to intrude.
456
00:33:25,083 --> 00:33:29,875
What are you doing around here, boys?
457
00:33:29,958 --> 00:33:32,791
- We dig shafts.
- And clean them.
458
00:33:32,875 --> 00:33:34,875
Any depth.
459
00:33:36,333 --> 00:33:38,916
- How exactly?
- Carefully.
460
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:40,958
Not allowed!
461
00:33:41,041 --> 00:33:46,541
This forest is under lease
by our grand empire. Fine!
462
00:33:48,625 --> 00:33:50,666
A thousand kosons sound good?
463
00:33:51,916 --> 00:33:54,625
A thousand? Where'd we get that?
464
00:33:54,708 --> 00:33:58,416
Too much, mister colonizer!
Can't we work something out?
465
00:33:58,500 --> 00:34:01,500
It's too much, we don't have money.
How could we? Ask him.
466
00:34:01,583 --> 00:34:04,708
I don't… Him neither… No…
467
00:34:04,791 --> 00:34:07,708
- We don't have a mother.
- A neighbor gave us birth.
468
00:34:07,791 --> 00:34:09,583
Poor woman!
469
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:14,250
Do you accept credit card payments?
470
00:34:15,500 --> 00:34:18,291
Card? Maybe cardus!
471
00:34:18,875 --> 00:34:21,333
- Who's this Cardus fella?
- A nephew.
472
00:34:22,250 --> 00:34:24,750
We don't have cash, you know.
473
00:34:24,833 --> 00:34:29,625
You don't have cash?
No problem, 'cause we have carcerum.
474
00:34:33,125 --> 00:34:35,541
Look, guys…
475
00:34:35,625 --> 00:34:38,583
Guys, we're entitled to a lawyer.
476
00:34:38,666 --> 00:34:42,083
Please find Mr. Smulik and bring him here.
477
00:34:42,166 --> 00:34:45,166
Anything we say
can be used against us.
478
00:34:45,250 --> 00:34:48,875
Yeah, sure… Ad carcerum!
479
00:35:22,041 --> 00:35:25,833
So good of you to come, Mr. Smulik!
Thank you very much!
480
00:35:27,875 --> 00:35:29,958
- What's the problem?
- It's bad here.
481
00:35:30,041 --> 00:35:32,041
They locked us up.
482
00:35:32,125 --> 00:35:35,000
- Why?
- They caught us in the forest.
483
00:35:35,083 --> 00:35:37,291
It's a very serious offense.
484
00:35:37,375 --> 00:35:39,166
The forests are leased.
485
00:35:39,250 --> 00:35:42,875
You need a special permit
from the governor to hunt.
486
00:35:42,958 --> 00:35:45,375
I don't think there's anything to be done.
487
00:35:45,458 --> 00:35:47,375
Look, we were thinking…
488
00:35:47,458 --> 00:35:52,708
Couldn't you pay the fine for us
as some sort of… loan?
489
00:35:53,958 --> 00:35:56,750
- A personal loan, you say?
- Yes!
490
00:35:56,833 --> 00:35:59,125
How would we come up with so much money?
491
00:35:59,208 --> 00:36:01,416
Wait a sec! Let's see what he says.
492
00:36:03,416 --> 00:36:05,666
Let me tell you what.
493
00:36:05,750 --> 00:36:08,875
You promised me something.
All the dacophones.
494
00:36:08,958 --> 00:36:13,083
- You filthy traitor!
- Zorillo, stop! Be patient, man!
495
00:36:13,166 --> 00:36:16,833
I don't think I could… Me?
496
00:36:20,208 --> 00:36:21,625
What now?
497
00:36:22,416 --> 00:36:24,833
Want us to rot away here?
498
00:36:24,916 --> 00:36:27,208
We have a quest to accomplish!
499
00:36:28,083 --> 00:36:31,541
See how you are?
Instead of thanking me for betraying you,
500
00:36:31,625 --> 00:36:33,541
you call me traitor!
501
00:36:33,625 --> 00:36:38,541
My friend, you give me all the dacophones,
I pay your fine, 1.000 kosons…
502
00:36:39,208 --> 00:36:44,291
and I'll charge you an extra…
let's say 200, in interest.
503
00:36:44,375 --> 00:36:46,791
You mean 1.200 kosons?
504
00:36:46,875 --> 00:36:50,000
And the dacophones?
Way too much! We can't.
505
00:36:50,083 --> 00:36:51,666
We don't have money.
506
00:36:51,750 --> 00:36:55,375
We don't… If we did… No, it's too much.
507
00:36:55,458 --> 00:36:58,458
Look, let's split the difference.
508
00:36:58,541 --> 00:37:01,666
We go up a bit, you come down a bit…
Let's say 800.
509
00:37:11,708 --> 00:37:13,125
A thousand.
510
00:37:22,541 --> 00:37:24,833
Fine, have it your way!
511
00:37:24,916 --> 00:37:27,458
- 1.200 it is.
- There we go! Thank you!
512
00:37:27,541 --> 00:37:30,000
- Thanks a lot!
- Let's go!
513
00:37:31,125 --> 00:37:33,125
Thank you very much, Mr. Smulik.
514
00:37:33,791 --> 00:37:35,791
Push harder! We've been here before.
515
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:43,583
Where is the parole office?
516
00:37:56,125 --> 00:38:01,833
They're poor kids. They were in juvie
after the colonizer genocide.
517
00:38:01,916 --> 00:38:03,333
"Genocide"?
518
00:38:04,750 --> 00:38:09,041
The providential and civilizing
Roman intervention in Dacia.
519
00:38:09,125 --> 00:38:10,833
Much better!
520
00:38:11,583 --> 00:38:13,250
Listen…
521
00:38:14,208 --> 00:38:19,333
Do these simpletons know
you're charging them 400% interest?
522
00:38:19,416 --> 00:38:23,708
They can cover it. They're successful
entrepreneurs, even if they look this way.
523
00:38:26,625 --> 00:38:28,458
It's none of my business.
524
00:38:29,083 --> 00:38:31,125
Who's the leader of the group?
525
00:38:34,208 --> 00:38:36,833
Please sign here that you agree
526
00:38:36,916 --> 00:38:41,416
to the interest rate
offered by your benefactor here.
527
00:38:42,125 --> 00:38:43,500
Agree!
528
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:48,750
There you go!
529
00:38:48,833 --> 00:38:52,708
It's nice to do good deeds
every now and then.
530
00:38:52,791 --> 00:38:54,375
Indeed it is!
531
00:38:54,458 --> 00:38:57,416
- Let's get the goods!
- Get out!
532
00:38:57,500 --> 00:39:00,708
Where are you going?
You want us to get crucified together?
533
00:39:00,791 --> 00:39:02,666
Get out through the jail!
534
00:39:02,750 --> 00:39:05,041
Yes, there's two doors, we know.
535
00:39:08,291 --> 00:39:10,750
Today, the winter of our discontent…
536
00:39:11,791 --> 00:39:13,375
has changed.
537
00:39:15,333 --> 00:39:19,500
- Sabrina…
- At your command, illustrious lord!
538
00:39:20,833 --> 00:39:23,791
- Do you like art?
- Immensely.
539
00:39:25,166 --> 00:39:29,166
- Can we live without culture, Sabrina?
- No way!
540
00:39:33,625 --> 00:39:35,208
Ecce homo.
541
00:39:35,291 --> 00:39:39,250
May all of Rome's enemies
be crucified upon the Appian Way,
542
00:39:39,333 --> 00:39:41,250
great Amalius!
543
00:39:42,166 --> 00:39:44,708
What may I do for you today?
544
00:39:47,875 --> 00:39:50,375
The permit for your temple
545
00:39:50,458 --> 00:39:52,833
hasn't been granted yet, right?
546
00:39:54,333 --> 00:39:56,000
- Not yet.
- Yes.
547
00:39:56,083 --> 00:39:58,541
I loathe bureaucracy.
548
00:39:58,625 --> 00:40:00,916
Rest assured,
I will talk to my colleagues.
549
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:02,791
Thank you very much.
550
00:40:02,875 --> 00:40:04,500
- Zotula…
- Yes?
551
00:40:04,583 --> 00:40:08,250
You have the most efficient
spy network in the Empire.
552
00:40:09,041 --> 00:40:11,416
Those are exaggerated rumors.
553
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:14,750
People aren't confessing anymore?
554
00:40:14,833 --> 00:40:16,458
Only the sinners.
555
00:40:18,041 --> 00:40:20,625
The Emperor will be here soon.
556
00:40:20,708 --> 00:40:23,041
Rome's treasury is empty.
557
00:40:23,125 --> 00:40:25,208
He asked us to find the treasure.
558
00:40:26,208 --> 00:40:28,666
If we fail to do so, heads will roll.
559
00:40:29,416 --> 00:40:32,083
And not only in the Roman administration.
560
00:40:33,458 --> 00:40:36,000
In politics, no one's life is secure,
561
00:40:36,083 --> 00:40:38,791
only insofar as there are common goals.
562
00:40:44,541 --> 00:40:47,916
- This is not just some treasure.
- How so?
563
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:51,250
These are inventions
that will change the world.
564
00:40:51,333 --> 00:40:53,416
More valuable than gold.
565
00:40:57,333 --> 00:40:59,333
If we possess such things…
566
00:41:00,791 --> 00:41:02,583
we will be masters of the world.
567
00:41:18,791 --> 00:41:22,875
Regarding the famous treasure
the Romans haven't found yet…
568
00:41:22,958 --> 00:41:24,458
what have you learned?
569
00:41:24,541 --> 00:41:27,250
There is talk of a map.
570
00:41:27,333 --> 00:41:29,500
Smulik is said to have it.
571
00:41:30,250 --> 00:41:34,625
Trajan himself comes
in search of the treasure!
572
00:41:34,708 --> 00:41:37,875
If it fails to turn up, heads will roll.
573
00:41:37,958 --> 00:41:40,458
- I assumed…
- Stop making assumptions!
574
00:41:41,333 --> 00:41:43,666
I order you to take care of it!
575
00:42:21,416 --> 00:42:24,083
All you Romans are weaklings!
576
00:42:24,166 --> 00:42:26,458
I'll hand you over to my man!
577
00:42:29,125 --> 00:42:30,916
Hello, Zdrelos?
578
00:42:31,833 --> 00:42:33,166
What?
579
00:42:36,166 --> 00:42:37,833
Mr. Smulik!
580
00:42:38,625 --> 00:42:40,458
How did you get the dacophone?
581
00:42:41,208 --> 00:42:43,166
It's yours?
582
00:42:43,250 --> 00:42:46,666
I wanted to speak with you, because…
583
00:42:48,583 --> 00:42:50,250
I have someone in bed.
584
00:42:51,041 --> 00:42:53,875
I could use a dacopotency pill.
585
00:42:55,875 --> 00:42:59,625
Alright! I knew I could count on you.
586
00:43:03,583 --> 00:43:05,458
State of emergency?
587
00:43:05,541 --> 00:43:07,416
How do we justify it?
588
00:43:08,750 --> 00:43:10,458
Dacian pestilence!
589
00:43:10,541 --> 00:43:13,000
Bubonic plague from Rome.
590
00:43:14,041 --> 00:43:18,291
Mosquitos, the Plagues of Egypt, rats,
591
00:43:18,375 --> 00:43:21,875
cholera, pandemic.
592
00:43:21,958 --> 00:43:24,458
We're already in a state of high alert.
593
00:43:24,541 --> 00:43:27,708
People have gotten used
to the restrictions.
594
00:43:28,375 --> 00:43:29,833
State of high alert.
595
00:43:31,375 --> 00:43:33,416
- Did I institute that?
- Yes.
596
00:43:33,500 --> 00:43:35,041
Why?
597
00:43:35,125 --> 00:43:40,208
So that the populace, the rabble,
the mob, stays at home.
598
00:43:43,666 --> 00:43:46,458
I was right to name you High Priest.
599
00:43:54,083 --> 00:43:56,208
Little dormouse…
600
00:43:56,291 --> 00:43:57,916
We're dumbasses!
601
00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:01,166
We're searching during the day,
but it only comes out at night!
602
00:44:02,333 --> 00:44:06,083
We lure it in.
I caught dormice when I was little.
603
00:44:06,166 --> 00:44:08,958
They hide in caves,
and it's nighttime there.
604
00:44:09,041 --> 00:44:12,666
He's right.
How could Zotula know how dormice work?
605
00:44:12,750 --> 00:44:16,541
Go inside the cave, and I'll wait
to catch it outside if it escapes.
606
00:44:31,666 --> 00:44:33,291
You're following me, right?
607
00:44:33,375 --> 00:44:36,250
Every now and then,
especially when I have news.
608
00:44:36,333 --> 00:44:38,000
What are you doing here?
609
00:44:38,750 --> 00:44:42,000
- I have an important mission.
- Really?
610
00:44:43,375 --> 00:44:45,375
- Yes.
- What mission?
611
00:44:48,083 --> 00:44:49,833
- What's the news?
- Trajan is dead.
612
00:44:49,916 --> 00:44:51,708
Hadrian is the new emperor.
613
00:44:51,791 --> 00:44:53,458
- Really?
- Yeah.
614
00:44:54,958 --> 00:44:57,458
Will you tell me your secret?
615
00:44:58,541 --> 00:45:00,541
- I can't.
- Why not?
616
00:45:01,708 --> 00:45:06,000
Cecilia dear, you have Dacian blood,
but you've been working in Rome for years.
617
00:45:06,083 --> 00:45:10,208
- You're no longer one of ours.
- I'm yours, Zorillo!
618
00:45:10,291 --> 00:45:11,500
Truly?
619
00:45:11,583 --> 00:45:13,375
- You know what?
- What?
620
00:45:13,458 --> 00:45:15,625
You really look like Hadrian.
621
00:45:15,708 --> 00:45:17,791
- Seriously?
- Yes.
622
00:45:18,666 --> 00:45:22,500
- It's running away!
- Yes, look at it go!
623
00:45:23,500 --> 00:45:26,250
Well, you were right.
624
00:45:27,041 --> 00:45:29,708
It showed up in full daylight.
625
00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:33,125
It must be from the eclipse or something.
626
00:45:34,750 --> 00:45:36,416
Good day!
627
00:45:37,791 --> 00:45:39,416
Daciana!
628
00:45:40,833 --> 00:45:42,500
A gift!
629
00:45:42,583 --> 00:45:46,583
I brought you something good,
quality coffee from abroad.
630
00:45:46,666 --> 00:45:50,208
Abroad? Is there something
beyond the Roman Empire?
631
00:45:50,291 --> 00:45:54,500
It means it's not crap
from the disciplinary Roman battalion.
632
00:45:54,583 --> 00:45:56,000
And the pill?
633
00:45:56,750 --> 00:46:00,250
The pill was very hard to get,
634
00:46:00,333 --> 00:46:02,833
even for a senator's wife.
635
00:46:04,166 --> 00:46:08,416
There's this new law
to limit Dacian population growth.
636
00:46:08,500 --> 00:46:10,458
What do you need it for?
637
00:46:10,541 --> 00:46:12,375
I have a Roman in bed.
638
00:46:13,333 --> 00:46:15,541
- What's he doing here?
- He came from Rome.
639
00:46:15,625 --> 00:46:18,791
Trajan died
and the new emperor is coming here.
640
00:46:18,875 --> 00:46:21,666
There's talk of a treasure
and some inventions,
641
00:46:21,750 --> 00:46:23,958
that's all I could get out of him.
642
00:46:24,041 --> 00:46:25,625
The new emperor?
643
00:46:29,625 --> 00:46:30,916
Treasure?
644
00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:32,541
The pill!
645
00:46:35,500 --> 00:46:38,708
Oy vey! Oy, Ribbono Shel Olam!
646
00:46:38,791 --> 00:46:40,958
Oy goten you!
647
00:46:41,041 --> 00:46:42,916
Rahela!
648
00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:44,958
I took the pill!
649
00:46:54,625 --> 00:46:56,250
What are we to do?
650
00:47:03,875 --> 00:47:05,583
What can we do?
651
00:47:07,833 --> 00:47:09,833
There was a full moon last night.
652
00:47:10,625 --> 00:47:12,625
We didn't catch the dormouse.
653
00:47:14,375 --> 00:47:16,625
Why is it so important, anyway?
654
00:47:17,458 --> 00:47:20,416
Yeah, why does it have to be silver?
655
00:47:22,500 --> 00:47:25,291
Guys, I have an idea.
656
00:47:28,250 --> 00:47:31,000
- My wife.
- She looks like a dormouse?
657
00:47:31,083 --> 00:47:34,916
No, you dummy! But you're close enough.
658
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:38,791
She doesn't look like a dormouse,
but I like her hair color.
659
00:47:38,875 --> 00:47:41,000
We paint the squirrel silver.
660
00:47:42,916 --> 00:47:44,666
Right?
661
00:47:44,750 --> 00:47:48,791
We can't. We're in a state of emergency
and we can't leave the courtyard.
662
00:47:50,291 --> 00:47:53,333
What will the maniac do to us
if we don't find the dormouse?
663
00:47:54,125 --> 00:47:59,375
- It's gonna be bad.
- I'm not ready to meet Zalmoxis yet.
664
00:48:03,833 --> 00:48:05,125
What do we do?
665
00:48:19,791 --> 00:48:21,708
I know how to solve this!
666
00:48:21,791 --> 00:48:24,625
But I will need your help,
you little rascals!
667
00:48:26,791 --> 00:48:29,750
Romulus, get over here!
668
00:48:33,791 --> 00:48:35,250
Move it!
669
00:48:35,916 --> 00:48:37,875
- Going to the governor's?
- Yeah.
670
00:48:37,958 --> 00:48:41,458
Good boy! Find Cecilia,
the governor's wife's friend.
671
00:48:41,541 --> 00:48:43,916
You tell her this, coming from Zorillo,
672
00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:46,750
to give us three sets of clothes.
She'll know what kind.
673
00:48:46,833 --> 00:48:48,375
And the message?
674
00:48:51,208 --> 00:48:52,875
Purebred Dacian right here!
675
00:48:53,791 --> 00:48:55,000
Take this!
676
00:48:58,166 --> 00:49:00,000
- Give him!
- No.
677
00:49:00,083 --> 00:49:01,375
Give him!
678
00:49:03,041 --> 00:49:04,208
Fine!
679
00:49:05,541 --> 00:49:07,541
RUM CHOCOLATE
680
00:49:09,541 --> 00:49:12,250
- No, but…
- Give him!
681
00:49:12,333 --> 00:49:14,041
Give him more!
682
00:49:16,458 --> 00:49:19,333
I have six left
and I gotta visit someone in the hospital.
683
00:49:19,416 --> 00:49:20,916
Move along!
684
00:49:25,750 --> 00:49:27,458
- Roma!
- Victrix!
685
00:49:27,541 --> 00:49:29,250
- Roma!
- Victrix!
686
00:49:29,333 --> 00:49:31,375
- Roma!
- Victrix!
687
00:49:33,666 --> 00:49:35,416
Hold!
688
00:49:37,125 --> 00:49:42,041
A state of emergency has been declared
throughout the province.
689
00:49:42,750 --> 00:49:45,625
Remain in your households!
690
00:49:46,416 --> 00:49:50,291
Disregarding this order will entail
691
00:49:50,375 --> 00:49:52,375
the capital punishment.
692
00:49:53,375 --> 00:49:58,541
Long live Pius Amalius Maximus,
693
00:49:58,625 --> 00:50:02,041
our beloved governor!
694
00:50:02,125 --> 00:50:04,791
Ave Amalius!
695
00:50:26,458 --> 00:50:28,750
There she is!
696
00:50:28,833 --> 00:50:31,000
These are the governor's clothes.
697
00:50:31,083 --> 00:50:33,666
You're going to look like gigolos.
698
00:50:33,750 --> 00:50:37,458
- Couldn't you get some helmets?
- No way.
699
00:50:38,958 --> 00:50:41,791
- Who's making this movie?
- Don't know.
700
00:50:43,583 --> 00:50:45,916
Can you get us some roman soldier clothes?
701
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:49,083
If I take more risks,
they're going to feed us to the lions.
702
00:50:52,875 --> 00:50:57,000
Got it! I'll call Smulik tomorrow
and he'll get us soldier clothes.
703
00:50:58,541 --> 00:51:01,291
What? You want to stay here, in the dark?
704
00:51:01,375 --> 00:51:02,583
Yes!
705
00:51:11,416 --> 00:51:13,625
- Get undressed!
- What did you say?
706
00:51:13,708 --> 00:51:16,791
- Don't we have Roman clothes?
- Yeah.
707
00:51:19,833 --> 00:51:22,083
If not even the Church has money…
708
00:51:22,166 --> 00:51:24,791
You don't pay taxes, you do collections.
709
00:51:24,875 --> 00:51:27,958
If you don't want to be
the master of information, fine by me.
710
00:51:28,041 --> 00:51:32,583
But there are mixed families already.
Ethnogenesis has already begun.
711
00:51:32,666 --> 00:51:36,625
Your religion is losing ground.
Be careful with the new one!
712
00:51:36,708 --> 00:51:39,291
I have plenty of buyers
for the dacophones.
713
00:51:39,375 --> 00:51:41,458
Bye! I got another call coming in.
714
00:51:42,541 --> 00:51:44,250
Hi! Who is it?
715
00:51:44,333 --> 00:51:46,791
Zdrelos? It better be an emergency!
716
00:51:47,500 --> 00:51:49,291
Roman clothes?
717
00:51:49,375 --> 00:51:51,375
What for? There's a state of emergency,
718
00:51:51,458 --> 00:51:54,541
All shows are canceled
except "Romans got talent".
719
00:51:55,875 --> 00:51:58,500
You want to prank Zorillo's cousin
on his birthday?
720
00:51:58,583 --> 00:52:03,625
Alright, but it's 10 kosons a costume.
How many do you need?
721
00:52:03,708 --> 00:52:06,583
And don't forget
about the due date on the loan.
722
00:52:06,666 --> 00:52:10,291
Got it! Delivery tonight,
at the cousin's place.
723
00:52:10,375 --> 00:52:11,750
You have the money, right?
724
00:52:11,833 --> 00:52:15,791
And give me your dacophone too,
that was our deal.
725
00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:03,708
Ave, great governor!
726
00:53:03,791 --> 00:53:06,500
Emperor Trajan died unexpectedly
a month ago.
727
00:53:06,583 --> 00:53:10,166
The Roman Senate immediately crowned
our beloved war hero
728
00:53:10,250 --> 00:53:12,208
Hadrian Aelius Maximus,
729
00:53:12,291 --> 00:53:15,000
who decided to visit
the province of Dacia.
730
00:53:15,083 --> 00:53:18,583
- Ave Hadrian!
- Ave Hadrian!
731
00:53:30,833 --> 00:53:34,375
Ave Pontifex Maximus!
732
00:53:34,458 --> 00:53:36,750
The shocking news
733
00:53:36,833 --> 00:53:41,166
that our great and wonderful emperor…
734
00:53:42,250 --> 00:53:45,291
- We're devastated.
- Trajan.
735
00:53:45,375 --> 00:53:50,750
…Trajan, has departed us,
comes as a great tragedy to us.
736
00:53:50,833 --> 00:53:52,708
- Tragedy?
- Yes.
737
00:53:52,791 --> 00:53:56,791
The ascension of a providential leader
such as myself is a tragedy?
738
00:53:57,625 --> 00:54:00,291
- It is a blessing!
- A blessing!
739
00:54:00,875 --> 00:54:02,416
- That's…
- So good he died!
740
00:54:02,500 --> 00:54:04,375
- Yes!
- True!
741
00:54:04,458 --> 00:54:06,291
Hooray!
742
00:54:06,375 --> 00:54:07,958
- Hooray!
- Enough!
743
00:54:09,583 --> 00:54:13,333
Our dear and wonderful emperor…
744
00:54:14,875 --> 00:54:16,750
- We're so happy!
- Hadrian.
745
00:54:16,833 --> 00:54:23,833
…Hadrian, allow me to present to you
your majesty's administration in Dacia.
746
00:54:23,916 --> 00:54:25,125
Locally.
747
00:54:25,916 --> 00:54:30,083
General Demetrius Nullius Magnus,
the garrison leader,
748
00:54:30,166 --> 00:54:36,916
and here we have the wonderful
financial adviser, Amadeus…
749
00:54:37,916 --> 00:54:40,458
Corruptius Lascivious.
750
00:54:40,541 --> 00:54:42,416
- Ave!
- Shut it!
751
00:54:42,500 --> 00:54:45,875
Ave Grande Hadrian!
752
00:54:45,958 --> 00:54:48,666
- Take it!
- Kiss!
753
00:54:49,583 --> 00:54:51,208
That's enough.
754
00:54:55,125 --> 00:54:56,625
Ave with you!
755
00:54:58,125 --> 00:55:00,041
These are happy yet sorrowful times.
756
00:55:00,125 --> 00:55:03,583
I am hoping for a fruitful collaboration
towards finding the treasure.
757
00:55:03,666 --> 00:55:06,666
For this purpose, I have here with me
758
00:55:06,750 --> 00:55:11,666
the exceptional finder of treasures,
Pubius Plus.
759
00:55:11,750 --> 00:55:14,208
- Ave!
- Bravo!
760
00:55:15,333 --> 00:55:17,041
To my right…
761
00:55:18,208 --> 00:55:23,041
strategist emeritus Axilus Minus.
762
00:55:24,125 --> 00:55:25,500
Say something.
763
00:55:32,125 --> 00:55:34,791
Aquila non capit muscas. Ya know?
764
00:55:38,958 --> 00:55:40,750
- Bravo!
- Bravo!
765
00:55:44,541 --> 00:55:47,041
- Us.
- Make room!
766
00:55:47,125 --> 00:55:49,166
Please!
767
00:55:49,250 --> 00:55:50,833
Get out of the way!
768
00:56:44,291 --> 00:56:45,666
Sabrina!
769
00:56:52,208 --> 00:56:54,291
- Emperor!
- Emperor!
770
00:56:54,375 --> 00:56:56,750
Take the apple.
771
00:56:57,708 --> 00:57:00,208
I miss the cultural life in Rome.
772
00:57:00,291 --> 00:57:03,083
The fashion shows.
773
00:57:03,166 --> 00:57:05,208
- The concerts.
- The theaters.
774
00:57:05,291 --> 00:57:08,958
I forgot all about civilization
with the latest restrictions.
775
00:57:09,041 --> 00:57:12,583
- You want theater?
- Yes!
776
00:57:12,666 --> 00:57:14,083
You'll get theater.
777
00:57:14,166 --> 00:57:16,208
We have histrions here.
778
00:57:18,791 --> 00:57:20,791
You speak Latin so well!
779
00:57:21,375 --> 00:57:24,000
Get ready for the dacophone conversation.
Go now!
780
00:57:25,583 --> 00:57:27,083
Let's make theater!
781
00:57:27,750 --> 00:57:29,416
Yes!
782
00:57:30,583 --> 00:57:32,333
They're gonna catch on.
783
00:57:32,416 --> 00:57:34,083
Zorillo's insane.
784
00:57:34,166 --> 00:57:38,416
I'm afraid.
We'll end up in the lions' stew.
785
00:57:38,500 --> 00:57:41,000
You're right. On the other hand,
786
00:57:41,083 --> 00:57:44,958
a life without mocking the Romans
is like one of your empty pigsties.
787
00:57:45,041 --> 00:57:47,083
Act like a Dacian!
788
00:57:47,166 --> 00:57:48,541
Like a Go-Dacian.
789
00:57:49,791 --> 00:57:51,416
Let's make theater!
790
00:57:53,125 --> 00:57:54,750
We have three actors.
791
00:57:58,041 --> 00:58:00,041
They will be the three slaves.
792
00:58:02,333 --> 00:58:05,750
Great emperor, it's not Saturnalia yet.
793
00:58:05,833 --> 00:58:09,625
You will play the three slaves
from the empire's favorite show,
794
00:58:09,708 --> 00:58:12,875
"Slap it like the Romans." Get up!
795
00:58:12,958 --> 00:58:15,416
Come on! Bravo!
796
00:58:15,500 --> 00:58:16,708
I haven't heard of it.
797
00:58:16,791 --> 00:58:19,875
You slap each other left to right,
then the other way around.
798
00:58:19,958 --> 00:58:21,500
Let us begin!
799
00:58:21,583 --> 00:58:24,291
- I haven't heard of it.
- Slap him!
800
00:58:30,000 --> 00:58:32,250
Can we do it right to left?
801
00:58:32,333 --> 00:58:33,875
- Yes.
- Certainly!
802
00:58:34,791 --> 00:58:36,958
Let's keep going left to right.
803
00:58:39,166 --> 00:58:41,041
Stop!
804
00:58:41,125 --> 00:58:42,708
I still am…
805
00:58:43,791 --> 00:58:49,916
Emperor, I think they would also like
to play the other famous show,
806
00:58:50,000 --> 00:58:51,583
"Kick it like the Romans".
807
00:58:51,666 --> 00:58:55,000
You'll kick each other left to right
then right to left.
808
00:58:55,083 --> 00:58:58,416
Precisely! Let us continue!
809
00:58:58,500 --> 00:59:01,000
General, move here…
810
00:59:01,083 --> 00:59:04,250
Take my place,
like you've been dreaming of.
811
00:59:05,500 --> 00:59:06,875
Go!
812
00:59:07,750 --> 00:59:11,416
Bravo! A wonderful spectacle!
813
00:59:11,500 --> 00:59:13,625
Extraordinary!
814
00:59:28,541 --> 00:59:33,958
It's strange that Rome hasn't told us
of Trajan's sudden death
815
00:59:34,041 --> 00:59:36,458
or about this guy's coronation.
816
00:59:36,541 --> 00:59:39,333
Maybe it all happened too quickly.
817
00:59:39,416 --> 00:59:42,125
- We must find out without offending him.
- How?
818
00:59:44,583 --> 00:59:47,958
We could try a…
819
00:59:48,750 --> 00:59:52,750
Great Hadrian, perhaps you are tired.
820
00:59:52,833 --> 00:59:56,375
The trip from Rome must have been tiring,
perhaps you would like…
821
00:59:56,458 --> 00:59:58,083
Some…
822
00:59:58,166 --> 01:00:02,041
It just so happens that we are confused.
823
01:00:02,125 --> 01:00:03,541
Completely!
824
01:00:03,625 --> 01:00:06,541
We haven't received any news from Rome
825
01:00:06,625 --> 01:00:09,750
that our emperor, Trajan, has died,
826
01:00:09,833 --> 01:00:13,166
and your greatness has been crowned.
827
01:00:13,250 --> 01:00:14,750
Nothing.
828
01:00:16,208 --> 01:00:18,000
Dacia is a savage place.
829
01:00:19,375 --> 01:00:21,541
Our couriers aren't safe.
830
01:00:22,208 --> 01:00:27,041
We sent a fast courier, but…
What are you insinuating?
831
01:00:28,125 --> 01:00:30,333
That our people aren't efficient?
832
01:00:30,416 --> 01:00:33,375
They are! Councilor, the dacophone!
833
01:00:39,041 --> 01:00:40,958
The latest invention from Rome.
834
01:00:41,666 --> 01:00:45,166
You can talk over great distances
as if you were next to each other.
835
01:00:46,250 --> 01:00:48,250
To set things things…
836
01:00:51,291 --> 01:00:52,875
We shall dacophone Rome.
837
01:00:52,958 --> 01:00:55,375
You can talk to a magister
838
01:00:55,458 --> 01:00:58,041
or even with the president of the Senate.
839
01:00:58,916 --> 01:01:00,291
Attention!
840
01:01:08,041 --> 01:01:10,083
The Roman Senate. Hello!
841
01:01:10,166 --> 01:01:14,958
The direct line to emperor Hadrian's
office is temporarily suspended
842
01:01:15,041 --> 01:01:16,875
due to a work visit in Dacia.
843
01:01:16,958 --> 01:01:22,000
To talk to magistrate Venerius Cipilus,
press one.
844
01:01:22,083 --> 01:01:26,166
To talk to senator Zombius Awakeus,
press two.
845
01:01:26,250 --> 01:01:27,875
To talk to…
846
01:01:30,291 --> 01:01:34,125
Magistrate Cipilus here.
How may I be of assistance?
847
01:01:39,583 --> 01:01:43,000
- Magistrate Venerius?
- Yes?
848
01:01:43,791 --> 01:01:46,333
- He can hear us.
- Yes…
849
01:01:46,416 --> 01:01:50,291
Ave Caesar Hadrian Aerius.
850
01:01:50,375 --> 01:01:54,000
Ave Caesar Hadrian Aerius, citizen!
851
01:01:54,083 --> 01:01:57,250
Quod erat demonstrandum, ya know?
852
01:01:58,708 --> 01:02:00,625
Move aside, darlings.
853
01:02:16,541 --> 01:02:19,083
I still say
you're the prettiest of them all.
854
01:02:21,166 --> 01:02:25,250
Tell me, strategist,
how many treasures have you found?
855
01:02:26,083 --> 01:02:27,583
None before you.
856
01:02:36,875 --> 01:02:40,291
The pig is a much better friend
to man than the dog.
857
01:02:40,375 --> 01:02:43,250
Did they teach you to talk so dirty?
858
01:02:44,833 --> 01:02:46,166
Tell me!
859
01:02:46,250 --> 01:02:49,791
If you find the treasure here,
what will you do with your cut?
860
01:02:49,875 --> 01:02:52,458
You're talking to me? My cut?
861
01:02:52,541 --> 01:02:54,583
I'll donate it to the emperor.
862
01:02:55,458 --> 01:02:57,500
Give Caesar what belongs to Caesar.
863
01:03:00,208 --> 01:03:03,166
I want to hear
the latest gossip from Rome.
864
01:03:05,583 --> 01:03:07,791
In Rome there's still…
865
01:03:08,750 --> 01:03:11,791
the same thieves, liars and crooks.
866
01:03:11,875 --> 01:03:13,875
The Senate is full of bums.
867
01:03:16,708 --> 01:03:18,750
I want silver dormouse for dinner.
868
01:03:19,375 --> 01:03:21,000
Of course, Emperor.
869
01:03:22,333 --> 01:03:24,708
Bring it to me alive before cooking it.
870
01:03:24,791 --> 01:03:26,375
Certainly.
871
01:03:40,083 --> 01:03:41,541
Go!
872
01:04:18,541 --> 01:04:19,958
I have a plan.
873
01:04:20,041 --> 01:04:21,958
They never work, but go ahead!
874
01:04:22,041 --> 01:04:24,458
I lure them in and you take care of them.
875
01:04:27,208 --> 01:04:29,083
- So I'll do the dirty work.
- Yeah.
876
01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:32,625
I don't believe a word he says.
He lies for sport.
877
01:04:32,708 --> 01:04:35,875
"Treasure", he says.
I bet he's out with one of his hoes.
878
01:04:35,958 --> 01:04:39,041
What if it's true?
We can buy a hair straightener,
879
01:04:39,125 --> 01:04:41,791
a microvibration oven, a fridge.
880
01:04:41,875 --> 01:04:43,958
- Color dacovisions!
- Cool!
881
01:04:44,041 --> 01:04:47,750
- How will we get them here?
- I know the owner of Thracia Delivery.
882
01:04:47,833 --> 01:04:49,333
Wait for me!
883
01:04:51,041 --> 01:04:53,541
I could invest in dacoin.
884
01:04:55,000 --> 01:04:56,375
My dear soldiers,
885
01:04:56,458 --> 01:04:59,583
I am proud to have been chosen
to lead a mission
886
01:04:59,666 --> 01:05:01,666
which will further consolidate
887
01:05:01,750 --> 01:05:04,875
the empire's grandeur, as well as our own
888
01:05:04,958 --> 01:05:09,250
and our beloved emperor's, Hadrianus.
889
01:05:12,291 --> 01:05:13,625
Troops…
890
01:05:14,791 --> 01:05:17,291
Catch me the dormouse!
891
01:05:32,208 --> 01:05:34,250
Excuse me, great emperor.
892
01:05:34,333 --> 01:05:37,166
- I'll return after the massage.
- Stay!
893
01:05:38,458 --> 01:05:40,458
I have a question for you.
894
01:05:45,416 --> 01:05:49,708
Gods have been multiplying in Rome
faster than silver dormice.
895
01:05:49,791 --> 01:05:52,916
Are they superstitions? Is it true?
896
01:05:53,000 --> 01:05:56,291
I do not know Roman beliefs.
897
01:05:59,250 --> 01:06:03,500
Zotula! I have a feeling we'll meet again.
898
01:06:10,125 --> 01:06:13,791
If we don't come to you,
you come looking for us, Zotula!
899
01:06:37,666 --> 01:06:39,083
I feel sick!
900
01:06:39,916 --> 01:06:41,625
I feel sick!
901
01:06:42,958 --> 01:06:44,333
I feel sick!
902
01:06:45,666 --> 01:06:47,458
I feel sick!
903
01:06:47,541 --> 01:06:49,000
I feel sick!
904
01:07:28,791 --> 01:07:31,583
Guys, come on!
905
01:07:31,666 --> 01:07:33,708
Habemus watermelon from Dăbuleni.
906
01:07:35,083 --> 01:07:39,166
Stop stuffing yourselves!
Be civilized, we're Romans after all.
907
01:07:39,250 --> 01:07:41,250
- Yes.
- Sure!
908
01:07:42,166 --> 01:07:43,875
Habemus cherries.
909
01:07:45,458 --> 01:07:49,041
If we find the treasure,
we'll divide it equally.
910
01:07:49,125 --> 01:07:51,916
Half me, and you two get the other half.
911
01:07:52,000 --> 01:07:54,583
No! I get half, and you get the rest.
912
01:07:54,666 --> 01:07:56,583
No, I get half.
913
01:07:56,666 --> 01:07:58,416
- Why not?
- Dude…
914
01:07:58,500 --> 01:08:02,125
Ave Hadrian! Morituri te salutant.
915
01:08:02,208 --> 01:08:04,958
Roasted silver dormouse
on a bed of maracuja,
916
01:08:05,041 --> 01:08:08,541
decorated with wild lynx balls.
917
01:08:09,500 --> 01:08:13,125
I told you to catch it alive.
918
01:08:13,208 --> 01:08:14,750
Guards!
919
01:08:14,833 --> 01:08:16,166
- Mercy!
- To the lions!
920
01:08:16,250 --> 01:08:17,833
That's what you ordered!
921
01:08:22,875 --> 01:08:24,750
I just heard from an informant.
922
01:08:24,833 --> 01:08:27,500
The Roman army is a few hours' march away.
923
01:08:27,583 --> 01:08:30,583
Trust me, you don't want
to be usurped by the real Hadrian.
924
01:08:30,666 --> 01:08:35,166
- Hadrian is coming?
- Four legions, with the golden eagle.
925
01:08:35,250 --> 01:08:37,833
Brothers, the news is good!
926
01:08:38,416 --> 01:08:40,166
The empire strikes back.
927
01:08:43,000 --> 01:08:47,166
Let us prepare to welcome
our brethren from Rome!
928
01:08:48,875 --> 01:08:51,916
The empire doesn't sleep!
The empire keeps working!
929
01:08:52,000 --> 01:08:55,500
Of course, we too
will have things to do this night.
930
01:08:55,583 --> 01:08:57,000
Brothers!
931
01:08:57,666 --> 01:08:59,000
Go!
932
01:09:10,041 --> 01:09:12,125
We assassinate the emperor.
933
01:09:13,291 --> 01:09:16,458
It's the best time,
before the rest of his troops arrive.
934
01:09:16,541 --> 01:09:19,875
We take him out now, in his sleep.
We stick it in him.
935
01:09:21,416 --> 01:09:24,916
In his sleep? It's the best.
936
01:09:25,000 --> 01:09:26,750
He's a real maniac.
937
01:09:43,458 --> 01:09:46,666
Glory to Rome! Emperor Hadrian.
938
01:09:46,750 --> 01:09:48,333
Ave!
939
01:09:55,500 --> 01:09:59,583
We will, of course,
blame it on somebody else.
940
01:09:59,666 --> 01:10:04,083
And this other person will be tried by us,
941
01:10:04,166 --> 01:10:07,125
summarily, obviously, and eliminated.
942
01:10:07,208 --> 01:10:11,375
Before that maniac's legionnaires
get here.
943
01:10:11,458 --> 01:10:14,541
He snores. Horribly!
944
01:10:14,625 --> 01:10:17,083
- Great governor!
- Get out!
945
01:10:23,791 --> 01:10:25,041
So…
946
01:10:26,208 --> 01:10:29,750
That filthy Hadrian snores here.
947
01:10:29,833 --> 01:10:32,708
He will have the Dacian breakfast in Hades
in a few hours.
948
01:10:32,791 --> 01:10:37,291
Yes! We'll have to stab this pig
three times more than Caesar!
949
01:10:37,375 --> 01:10:41,333
And we have to burn the body immediately,
so that the smell doesn't reach Rome.
950
01:10:42,041 --> 01:10:45,708
- Yes!
- Ecce homo. Come on in!
951
01:10:45,791 --> 01:10:47,250
Come in!
952
01:10:48,708 --> 01:10:51,791
I don't know why,
but every time I have a dirty job to do,
953
01:10:51,875 --> 01:10:54,250
I surround myself with psychos.
954
01:10:54,333 --> 01:10:56,541
I mean him, friends.
955
01:10:56,625 --> 01:11:01,000
Tell me, unclean one,
are you ready to murder a boor today?
956
01:11:03,500 --> 01:11:07,083
With how I'm feeling right now,
I'm going to murder at least…
957
01:11:08,083 --> 01:11:09,375
three.
958
01:11:10,458 --> 01:11:13,125
Bravo! Bravo, diseased one!
959
01:11:13,208 --> 01:11:15,708
You included the two clowns…
960
01:11:15,791 --> 01:11:19,125
who sleep next to him. Bravo!
961
01:11:19,208 --> 01:11:20,750
Seriously now!
962
01:11:20,833 --> 01:11:23,583
I believe our empire's future
963
01:11:23,666 --> 01:11:27,250
belongs to these degenerate brutes.
964
01:11:27,333 --> 01:11:29,000
You animal!
965
01:11:41,791 --> 01:11:43,250
Bravo!
966
01:11:55,875 --> 01:12:02,208
Would you be terribly upset
if I were to boil you alive in oil?
967
01:13:37,375 --> 01:13:40,333
- The coins!
- My dear coins! The jerky!
968
01:13:40,416 --> 01:13:43,250
What has become of us, brothers?
969
01:13:43,333 --> 01:13:45,958
Fugitives in our own kingdom!
970
01:13:46,041 --> 01:13:47,875
Dressed in foreigners' clothes.
971
01:13:47,958 --> 01:13:51,000
Yes. What are going to do with Zotula?
972
01:13:51,916 --> 01:13:55,250
We did everything Geto-Dacianly possible.
973
01:13:56,250 --> 01:13:59,958
- But you can't fight history.
- True!
974
01:14:00,041 --> 01:14:01,583
You just can't.
975
01:14:02,708 --> 01:14:06,916
But we are Dacians,
descended from Thracians.
976
01:14:07,000 --> 01:14:10,833
We're descended from Dacians,
who are descended from Getae,
977
01:14:10,916 --> 01:14:13,916
who are descended from Thracians,
same as the Dacians…
978
01:14:14,000 --> 01:14:16,500
- I think that's enough.
- Yes.
979
01:14:16,583 --> 01:14:18,250
Don't take it to heart.
980
01:14:22,125 --> 01:14:26,041
The Romans are coming back, brothers.
981
01:14:26,125 --> 01:14:28,458
I can't keep running.
982
01:14:28,541 --> 01:14:29,958
Zalmoxis…
983
01:14:30,875 --> 01:14:34,708
Code Lightspeed!
984
01:14:58,958 --> 01:15:02,416
I'm telling you, there no treasure!
He lied to me again.
985
01:15:02,500 --> 01:15:05,166
Holy Zalmoxis, give me strength!
986
01:15:05,250 --> 01:15:07,833
I'm going to beat his ass up.
987
01:15:07,916 --> 01:15:10,125
You know what? It's better if he leaves.
988
01:15:10,208 --> 01:15:12,750
He can take his bitches and leave me be.
989
01:15:12,833 --> 01:15:15,583
He can go to the Moon for all you care!
990
01:15:15,666 --> 01:15:17,458
- Precisely!
- Come on!
991
01:15:27,000 --> 01:15:29,541
Make way, the bosses are coming!
992
01:15:34,208 --> 01:15:36,791
Good day, blacksmith! How are you?
993
01:15:36,875 --> 01:15:40,583
- Long live!
- Safe work, happy family.
994
01:15:40,666 --> 01:15:44,625
- It's going to rain.
- Not while we're here!
995
01:15:44,708 --> 01:15:46,791
You never get it right. You suck.
996
01:15:46,875 --> 01:15:49,333
Stop pissing about!
997
01:15:49,416 --> 01:15:52,625
I have important things to do.
I don't have time for you.
998
01:15:52,708 --> 01:15:54,666
- What is it?
- We wouldn't have come
999
01:15:54,750 --> 01:15:57,958
if we didn't have
important matters to take care of.
1000
01:15:58,041 --> 01:15:59,541
Overwhelming, even.
1001
01:15:59,625 --> 01:16:02,000
- We have an animal.
- So what?
1002
01:16:02,083 --> 01:16:04,125
Do I look like a veterinarian?
1003
01:16:04,208 --> 01:16:06,333
No, you're the stylist blacksmith.
1004
01:16:06,416 --> 01:16:09,875
By the way, I really liked
the way you worked my wife over.
1005
01:16:09,958 --> 01:16:12,125
No, I didn't… We didn't…
1006
01:16:12,208 --> 01:16:14,541
Daciana. The hair, I mean.
1007
01:16:14,625 --> 01:16:17,500
- Yeah!
- Do you have any silver paint left?
1008
01:16:17,583 --> 01:16:19,583
Dacian men don't dye their hair!
1009
01:16:19,666 --> 01:16:21,916
- We want to dye something else.
- What?
1010
01:16:22,000 --> 01:16:24,250
- The dormouse.
- We want you to paint it.
1011
01:16:24,333 --> 01:16:26,125
The dormouse?
1012
01:16:26,208 --> 01:16:28,708
- How?
- Silver!
1013
01:16:29,500 --> 01:16:33,208
- What if it dies?
- We'll put a mask on it. How much?
1014
01:16:33,291 --> 01:16:36,125
Stop taking the piss! I'm sick of you!
1015
01:16:36,208 --> 01:16:39,750
Zalmoxis is our witness
that we aren't taking the piss. Us?
1016
01:16:39,833 --> 01:16:41,875
- Zotula himself…
- Shut it!
1017
01:16:41,958 --> 01:16:43,416
Zotula…
1018
01:16:43,500 --> 01:16:48,166
- Zotula sent… Could it be?
- Trust us!
1019
01:16:48,250 --> 01:16:50,875
- Do you have money? It's not free.
- Money? No!
1020
01:16:50,958 --> 01:16:52,958
At least one koson.
1021
01:16:53,041 --> 01:16:54,666
- One?
- Yes.
1022
01:16:54,750 --> 01:16:59,916
Won't you give us a discount?
We have a sacred quest, ya know.
1023
01:17:00,000 --> 01:17:02,500
One koson is too much,
I'll be damned if I lie!
1024
01:17:02,583 --> 01:17:04,666
I have an even holier mission.
1025
01:17:04,750 --> 01:17:07,750
- And paint isn't cheap, boys.
- We know, but we can't.
1026
01:17:07,833 --> 01:17:11,166
I can give you the Chinese stuff.
That's only one denar.
1027
01:17:12,333 --> 01:17:14,375
- It's still silver.
- If possible.
1028
01:17:14,458 --> 01:17:17,000
Yes. Take the dormouse to he shop!
1029
01:17:18,500 --> 01:17:21,875
- Go already!
- Move! Take it inside faster!
1030
01:17:21,958 --> 01:17:24,666
- I'll put it under.
- Take care of it!
1031
01:17:24,750 --> 01:17:27,083
- Mr. Veti…
- What now?
1032
01:17:27,166 --> 01:17:30,291
- As silver as possible.
- Yeah, man, I got it.
1033
01:17:30,375 --> 01:17:33,458
I understood, I'm not deaf. Silver it is!
1034
01:17:38,250 --> 01:17:40,083
The execution is ready to proceed.
1035
01:17:46,916 --> 01:17:50,583
Great emperor, illustrious lord!
1036
01:17:50,666 --> 01:17:53,000
It's been a bad year for oil.
1037
01:17:53,083 --> 01:17:57,666
The sunflower fields withered,
because the lazy Dacians didn't irrigate.
1038
01:17:57,750 --> 01:18:01,125
And it would be a waste
to use olive oil.
1039
01:18:07,208 --> 01:18:12,041
Out of the kindness of my heart
and to not waste the province's resources…
1040
01:18:13,875 --> 01:18:15,833
you will not be burned in oil.
1041
01:18:18,541 --> 01:18:20,333
You will be fed to the lions.
1042
01:18:21,750 --> 01:18:24,125
Ave!
1043
01:18:26,791 --> 01:18:30,500
I relish every opportunity to help out.
1044
01:18:30,583 --> 01:18:33,583
I will bring vegan lions.
1045
01:18:33,666 --> 01:18:36,916
- Mercy, great emperor!
- Mercy!
1046
01:18:37,000 --> 01:18:38,916
We will serve you dutifully!
1047
01:18:40,541 --> 01:18:42,541
They know where the treasure is!
1048
01:18:48,333 --> 01:18:50,208
You want to live two more days?
1049
01:18:50,291 --> 01:18:53,958
You have two days
to bring me the treasure.
1050
01:18:54,041 --> 01:18:55,458
Each?
1051
01:18:57,250 --> 01:18:58,583
No go.
1052
01:18:59,375 --> 01:19:02,541
- Mercy!
- Mercy, please!
1053
01:19:02,625 --> 01:19:05,208
Mercy! Great Hadrian,
1054
01:19:05,291 --> 01:19:09,958
we've seen the Dacians' other big secret.
1055
01:19:10,041 --> 01:19:11,791
We saw it ourselves.
1056
01:19:11,875 --> 01:19:15,833
The dacophone.
You can talk to people in Rome from here.
1057
01:19:15,916 --> 01:19:18,416
- It reaches everywhere.
- And back!
1058
01:19:18,500 --> 01:19:21,291
If we bring those too, will you…
1059
01:19:21,375 --> 01:19:23,458
- Or won't you…
- Free us?
1060
01:19:25,583 --> 01:19:29,208
I will free… the lions.
1061
01:19:42,583 --> 01:19:43,916
Dude!
1062
01:19:44,000 --> 01:19:47,041
Brothers, why did they call us
all the way out here?
1063
01:19:47,833 --> 01:19:50,583
This is Zalmoxis' cave!
1064
01:20:32,375 --> 01:20:35,166
Turn this, to keep course.
1065
01:20:38,625 --> 01:20:40,583
Are we OK on fuel?
1066
01:20:43,416 --> 01:20:45,208
Adjust the braking system.
1067
01:20:47,458 --> 01:20:48,875
Coffee.
1068
01:20:53,708 --> 01:20:55,791
Blacksmith Veterbostes…
1069
01:20:55,875 --> 01:21:00,291
If the ship fails
taking the silver dormouse to space,
1070
01:21:00,375 --> 01:21:01,916
you will be made into a slave.
1071
01:21:02,000 --> 01:21:06,625
Great Zalmoxis, if you don't mind,
it's Veterbestos.
1072
01:21:06,708 --> 01:21:09,166
But you can call me whatever.
1073
01:21:09,250 --> 01:21:11,875
The cover on top of the ship
1074
01:21:11,958 --> 01:21:14,291
will withstand the Moon's weather.
1075
01:21:14,375 --> 01:21:16,666
There won't be any issues.
1076
01:21:16,750 --> 01:21:18,791
This is our sacred purpose,
1077
01:21:18,875 --> 01:21:21,666
to return to the far side of the Moon.
1078
01:21:21,750 --> 01:21:25,208
To our home, and our great ship.
1079
01:21:25,291 --> 01:21:31,166
Here, on Earth, and even here, inside it,
the end is nigh.
1080
01:21:32,291 --> 01:21:33,958
Humans will ruin their home.
1081
01:21:34,041 --> 01:21:38,000
Some are too greedy,
and others, obsessed with Dacians.
1082
01:21:38,083 --> 01:21:40,083
The balance is ruined.
1083
01:21:41,750 --> 01:21:43,416
- What are you doing?
- Recording.
1084
01:21:43,500 --> 01:21:45,250
Don't record this!
1085
01:21:45,333 --> 01:21:47,250
We're working undercover.
1086
01:21:47,333 --> 01:21:52,166
Yes, great Zalmoxis,
we make a great undercover team.
1087
01:21:52,250 --> 01:21:55,166
Great Zalmoxis, we have three champions
1088
01:21:55,250 --> 01:21:59,750
who made our mission possible.
1089
01:21:59,833 --> 01:22:01,416
There they are!
1090
01:22:03,291 --> 01:22:05,416
Show us the dormouse!
1091
01:22:08,666 --> 01:22:09,875
Yes.
1092
01:22:10,625 --> 01:22:14,166
Mr. Zalmoxis, High Priest…
1093
01:22:16,875 --> 01:22:19,166
We had two dormice on hand.
1094
01:22:19,250 --> 01:22:23,166
But one got cooked, and the other
didn't wake up from the anesthesia.
1095
01:22:24,541 --> 01:22:28,375
So now… we ask for your forgiveness.
1096
01:22:28,458 --> 01:22:31,708
But we would like to propose a solution.
1097
01:22:36,000 --> 01:22:38,125
We could at least try, ya know.
1098
01:22:39,250 --> 01:22:40,416
At least…
1099
01:22:41,041 --> 01:22:42,208
Try it!
1100
01:22:50,541 --> 01:22:52,416
All systems go.
1101
01:22:52,500 --> 01:22:54,708
The ship is ready to launch.
1102
01:22:54,791 --> 01:22:59,083
T-minus five seconds. Begin the countdown.
1103
01:22:59,166 --> 01:23:03,541
Five, four, three, two, one…
1104
01:23:03,625 --> 01:23:04,791
Blast off!
1105
01:23:16,250 --> 01:23:20,166
Sarmizegetusa! Cugir! We have a problem!
1106
01:23:21,500 --> 01:23:25,083
Run! We have a problem!
1107
01:23:29,708 --> 01:23:31,250
Zdrelos!
1108
01:23:32,625 --> 01:23:34,625
Bezmetis!
1109
01:23:36,166 --> 01:23:38,500
Ouch!
1110
01:23:38,583 --> 01:23:43,041
Water! Water!
1111
01:23:51,208 --> 01:23:53,041
It hurts so bad!
1112
01:23:53,916 --> 01:23:55,750
Ouch!
1113
01:23:55,833 --> 01:23:57,875
Bezmetis, Zdrelos!
1114
01:24:01,166 --> 01:24:02,583
Ouch!
1115
01:24:04,916 --> 01:24:06,166
- Guys…
- Yes?
1116
01:24:06,250 --> 01:24:07,750
Guys!
1117
01:24:09,000 --> 01:24:10,416
Incredible!
1118
01:24:11,458 --> 01:24:15,750
- We have the treasure map! Look!
- What should we do?
1119
01:24:17,375 --> 01:24:18,958
We film part two.
1120
01:24:20,958 --> 01:24:22,500
Ya know…