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Hello...
Marce.
You are deaf.
What are you doing? Too much work or what?
- Finishing. - Which reel are you at?
Six.
You're flying, very good.
Terror is my thing.
Stop everything you are doing for a second and search: "My life as a YouTuber".
Ok, And this is...?
Something incredible. You're going to love it.
Do you follow Jacques?
- No, who is he? - Go ahead, click on it.
Hello! Dear family of one's choice,
Welcome to another chapter From Jacques not Jackes.
Yes, the one with the strange name, today I have an anecdote that rocks.
This is a special chapter for women
Because you know that I am a guardian of feminism
and is obvious because men... we are suckers, have you noticed?
Suckers of great proportions.
Pay attention to this anecdote. So, a friend of mine tells me
she has a lifelong friend.
One of those friendships that rarely occur between a man and a woman.
She is getting close to 40,
she is 37, she is close to 40 is almost... almost there.
Recently she had an existential crisis. You know what I'm talking about.
Of those crises where you ask yourself questions.
She has no children, has not wanted to have children
And was questioned with the following: What if I want to have children later?
But with whom, anyway? What if my eggs get too old soon.
Those crises, those questions.
They went out one day in a friendly tone,
They had already had a few drinks, A nugget goes, a nugget comes.
Everyone was already euphoric, they were all having fun
And she stares at his best friend and says something like:
Hey, you're a nice guy, a very good friend,
How if in a few years, neither you nor I have had children
so we make a pact of having a child between the two of us.
- Really? - Seriously.
Are you serious dumbass?
Too crazy? Can you imagine how beautiful he would be?
They did not talk any more about it, they arrived at a house
and she decides that she is going to lie down for a while on the sofa.
When suddenly... Out of the blue...
She feels something hit her in the face.
When she turns to look at what is hitting her face
she realizes that is a Dick Slap.
Yes gentlemen, Dick Slap.
Translation: A slap with the cock.
The dick, the pecker, the willy wood.
Her friend's penis who has previously taken it out
and with an erect penis slaps her in the face.
Can you imagine you are chilling and have someone hit you on the face
And that you turn and what you see is a cock out of nowhere.
Now you know what I mean, Why are we men such a bunch of suckers?
We are suckers, totally suckers.
Long live feminism, long live!
I support them, I understand them, when things like this happen,
even though it makes me laugh, I sympathize.
That is why I say to women that I am a feminist guardian.
This is Jacques not Jackes.
- Very good, isn't it? - Yes.
No, seriously, it is very good. Or am I stupid?
- Yes, it is good, is good. - Ah, well, good.
Well, I also have to go to finish that crappy commercial.
Good luck...
Thank you...
Bye.
What time do you arrive?
Well, no. Yes, alright.
Well, I love you, bye.
I was in the car driving, handsfree with cell phone here
and the screen is all illuminated, which increased paranoia.
I decided to make an escape plan. Step 1,
I grab my shit...
The cab driver on the other side of the bridge yells at me:
what happened? Why did you jump?
From the other side of the bridge I answer:
what did you throw me at me? Tell me what you threw at me!
Nothing, nothing, I swear. If you want we can call the police
to investigate, I have not done anything to you.
Tell me what you threw at me!
I didn't feel you coming!
How are you doing? What are you watching?
A video of a man Valentina showed me. Do you want to see?
No, I'm exhausted. We'll talk later.
Why don't we go to bed.
No, I'm smelling horrible.
I love the way you smell.
I'm going to take a bath.
It's been a while since...
I know... But later, alright?
Yes? Better.
THERE ARE THREE WAYS OF DOING THINGS: THE RIGHT WAY, THE WRONG WAY AND MY WAY.
OPPORTUNITIES MARK THE CROSSROADS OF OUR LIVES, EVEN THE ONES WE LET GO.
SHOOTING NEW VIDEO WITH @MADAMEPERINE
NO TO WAR. YES TO WILD LOVE.
THERE ARE NO UNANSWERED QUESTIONS, ONLY POORLY MADE QUESTIONS.
Welcome to another chapter of: Jacques no Jackes.
Well, lately I have received Many, many questions from women
and all go towards the same thing: what would be my advice to keep love alive
And by love I mean... Love.
Women, you are not alone in this. It happens to us men too
that from time to time, the flame of passion dies.
When you have been fucking with the same person for a long time,
the flame of passion is extinguished.
But there are tips. Have you heard of role-playing games?
When it becomes a little bit of an actor in bed with your partner?
That role-playing games, different characters,
when you have been a long time with the same person you have to innovate.
Various examples: For example, ask your partner
To dress up in black.
With a wig of this style one can already begin to imagine
that everything is bigger, everything is more tasty,
everything is thicker.
If what you like is the sea, and the adventure at sea,
then it occurs to me that you could play... pirates.
I am the pirate that will rescue you from the plank
and I'm going to give it to you like a board.
And there are some women, or men, who like danger,
then suddenly feel that they are going to...
be forced in the peace of your home by a...
guetto boy who comes to attack them... Anyway...
Think, improvise, play and you will see that sex
will be renewed. Women, call the shots!
Hold on to any idea you've seen around here.
Look for your man and surprise
and I'll see you in the next chapter of:
Jacques no Jackes.
Javier?
Hello, my love.
Hello.
What are you doing here?
I came to surprise you.
What surprise?
Do you like it?
Marcela, it's not a good time for a surprise, Marce.
It is the perfect moment for a surprise.
Let me explain.
Son of a bitch.
Yes, Marcela, I want the sounds of silence
to be equally disturbing as the loud sounds.
I want the soundscape to be terrifying.
Make it a disturbing horror...
Marce, she is looking for you.
What for?
I don't know.
Are you listening, Marcela?
Yes, if it goes on, you want the soundscape to be disturbing.
Yes, but it has to be complemented with the graphic images
We have, or we would have nothing.
Ok.
- How are you doing? - Good.
Are you sure?
Why do you ask?
I don't know, because lately I see you out of your element, in a low mood,
I don't know, that's why I ask. Is everything all right?
All good.
Look, I know that breaking up with the boyfriend is very difficult
and it must be much, much worse to find him with another woman.
I wouldn't know what to do, I would be devastated.
I am alright.
Look, it's okay to not be okay,
is normal.
When I ended my marriage,
I wanted to leave that house with all my fucking might.
I was lost for a long time. I was not alright.
I am fine, Ana.
You don't have to go through all this all by yourself, don't you?
You can count with me. We can go for a glass of wine, talk,
you know, don't you?
Yes, thank you.
Why don't you take a few days off?
A long weekend, that way you get here recharged on Monday.
I would really prefer not to.
Well, yes, maybe working is better for you.
Speaking of which, how is the film coming along?
They want it now, don't they? If you need anything let me know.
And we have to be united because men are...
a piece of crap.
Did he really tell you that? Well, everybody knows
that gossip in that office is awful. What a pain in the ass
and I'll tell you one thing: since you earned that award
people have done nothing but think on how to make you fall.
It is not an award.
It is an award just for you, but you know
how envious people are here.
JACQUES HAS POSTED A NEW VIDEO. NOW.
Is it important?
No seriously, all good, it's all right.
No, no, everything is fine.
And your parents, have you already told them?
No, I have not been able to.
No, Marcela! That's bullshit!
Your parents are going to die. They love Javier.
I mean, seriously, it will give them a bad depression
and especially your mom.
Yes, she wanted to marry him.
Really, every day your mom is like:
Javier this, Javier that, Javiercito, Javiersote,
Javier is amazing...
Amazing, unfaithful but amazing. Who's going to put up with my mom.
Why?
She's going to say it's my fault.
What? What? Your fault? No.
Always.
No, no, no, no, you're kidding me. You are wrong
What do you mean, always?
It's always my fault.
Marcela, no! Look at me.
Blame this faggot. In other words, is it your fault
that the man has fucked another old chick?
That means that he was not well cared for.
What? No, no, no, no, no,
seriously, you are wrong. You are crazy.
It is impossible for them to say that.
No, they will say that. In addition, they will ask me what I am going to do.
Do of what?
Who I am going to marry with.
No, no, no, no, that's a bad plan, seriously.
Well, I think that... is necessary
because it's already kind of intense, isn't it?
Yes, I'm coming.
Well, truthfully today is not an easy day,
today I have news that are not very good
I was about to not to record anything today,
I don't have the energy.
Yesterday I broke up with Alexandra. You know,
Alexandra my girlfriend, we are not doing well.
We are no longer well, we were denying it, we were ignoring the subject.
But then, the time has come to confront the truth.
Finally, yesterday we talked about it,
and we concluded that the best thing to do was to... Well, that, break up.
I was not expecting it because, this time we had illusions.
I thought this was going to be...
Relax, it was a mutual agreement and no one was to blame.
Because normally when there are breakups,
people want to blame someone,
it was your fault because you didn't do. This is not the case.
Simply, we no longer had to be together
and we discovered it. Last night we talked about it
and it's still hard all the same. Everything happens for a reason.
Meeting Alexandra was wonderful because she taught me many things.
I am truly grateful of everything I experienced with her.
Do not judge her. Keep following her.
Remember: Alexandra MackeUp Tips.
Love her as I'll keep loving her.
Then, I will accept with dignity that...
this had to happen and that's it
and I will assume that she is no the one. And maybe the one
has not reached me, well, I'm sure she hasn't reached me.
Who knows, maybe the woman who is for me
is watching me right now and in that case I want to tell you:
I am here,
I'm waiting for you with open arms.
That I can't wait for you to come into my life.
Marcela! What are you doing?
You shit while watching a video On YouTube or what?
I UNDERSTAND PERFECTLY WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH.
I ALSO HOPE TO FIND THE MAN FOR ME SOON. BE STRONG, I'M HERE FOR YOU.
HAS HE ALREADY LEFT?
NO, HE IS STILL GETTING HIS STUFF
SUPPOSEDLY
Do you know where my stuff is?
Which ones?
Can we talk before I leave?
NOW HE WANTS TO TALK.
Of what?
Look, from the bottom of my heart, forgive me for everything that happened.
For cheating on me with that bitch?
I swear I didn't want things to end up like this.
I am feeling very bad.
HE FEELS SUPER BAD, POOR, MOTHERFUCKING, SHITTY ASSHOLE.
I never thought you would find out that way.
And really, I didn't have the soul...
THE BITCH HAS A NAME ...TO TELL I WAS INTERESTED IN EMILIA.
Ah, the bitch has a name. THE BITCH'S NAME IS EMILIA.
Don't call her that.
I'll call her however I want, bitch.
She even has a bitch's name.
Well, in any case, I wanted to apologize.
And that you knew, that I feel bad about this.
You know what? Don't apologize.
What did you think? That a lame-ass apology
would make me forget that you cheated on me with another woman in your house?
That I was going to tell you "Everything's alright"
To make you feel good about yourself? And could you be at ease with her?
Did you think that?
MANY THANKS, MARCE. PEOPLE LIKE YOU GIVE ME STRENGTH TO KEEP GOING.
AND WHO KNOWS, MAYBE YOU ARE THE PERSON I'M LOOKING FOR.
What are you doing?
Are you still here? What more do you want?
Let's leave it at that.
I love you.
Aha, thank you.
YES, WHO KNOWS.
You're being serious, Vale. I don't believe you.
No, no, no, look, I don't have to convince you of anything
because we are here with the one who experienced it firsthand.
- What an asshole! - How cheeky.
- No, no, listen, I am sorry but that's nothing.
Don't you remember Jaime,
who fucked half of the Bogota's faggot-cracy while we were together
and then came dragged away asking me for forgiveness,
Marce, you have to accept that is worse.
No.
What you are saying is not worse than what happened to Marce.
Did you walk in and saw him on all fours with another man standing behind him?
Ok yes, yes, a very nice topic and all,
but I believe that no one here needs listen to that, right?
And you... stop being a baby
I mean, that's nothing, Oscar.
Besides, you found you were being cheated on through Facebook.
But Marce, she experienced it firsthand.
Live and direct.
So what, You are attacking the gay of the table again, as usual.
Marce, don't be like that, okay? You can trust us.
We know how much that hurts, right?
- Yes totally. - No, I am fine.
- Are you sure?
Yes, actually, I'm dating someone.
- Really? - So fast?
I would be in deep shit.
Totally! Actually, I don't know what you are doing here with us.
You do not remember...
Let her talk, Oscar.
- I'm not going to say anything anymore. - Tell us who your suitor is.
I don't want to talk about him now, we are just getting started.
- C'mon, tell us. - Show us pictures or something.
I feel embarrassed.
Nothing could be worse than what happened with Vale
that the ex-boyfriend had a wife.
- Totally! - Or is it?
He is a YouTuber.
What?!
A YouTuber?
He's a YouTuber. Well, now you have to show us pictures.
Because, if he has YouTube, he has Instagram, right?
Totally.
Are you really dating him?
Yes.
Girl, why didn't you tell me before?
- I'm telling you now. - Valen, relax baby!
You don't have to be the first to know everytime.
- Uy, he's really hot. - He looks great.
Not bad for a YouTuber.
You had it in your pocket, didn't you?
JACQUES HAS POSTED A NEW VIDEO.
Hello, family of one's choice.
You may ask why am I so elegant today?
Is a great look, no?
It is coming ladies and gentlemen. Well, more ladies, well more girls,
my book launch:
"My life as a YouTuber", today at 3:00 pm
We will be doing the pre-launch of my book,
because you know that I have been a chatterbox with that book, right?
My book this and my book that. That I just don't know how to finish it.
I don't know that. That is fucking amazing.
And yes... It is fucking amazing.
And this exclusive is only for you
you could be the first to buy it,
the first copies, gentlemen and ladies!
And the cherry on top of the dessert, of the cake, of the pie,
Well, the fucking cherry,
it's just that I'm going to be signing autographs.
So, you buy the book and immediately
I will sign them with a divine dedication,
with much love to you who will accompany me with love.
You know, today, at the Librería Viajera 3:00 pm.
Watch out girls, very soon
we will be announcing a contest.
What kind of contest? Let me explain: The winner of the contest,
to be announced at a later date, can go out with me on a date.
Yes, as you heard a date with me
at the launch event of my book.
Meanwhile, today 3:00 pm,
Librería Viajera 3:00 pm. I'll be waiting for you.
Come in.
- Hello. - Hello.
Beautiful.
- How are you doing? - Fine, how about you?
Very good, now better.
To whom is the dedication?
Marcela.
Marcela, what a beautiful name, Marcela.
Thank you.
No, seriously.
You must tell that to every girl, right?
How can you think that?
The truth is that... I just say it to those named Marcela.
Here.
- Thank you. - To you.
Hey, aren't you going to read what I wrote?
MARCELA: SHALL WE HAVE COFFEE?
Do you have something to do right now?
The book signing?
The truth...
It can wait.
Then let's put Laura and Miguel in the commercial of the 14th
while Marcela...
What are the possibilities
the film could be ready by the 14th and Jose can mix?
Yes, I think that won't be a problem.
Well, then I'm going to put you in the commercial of the 15th.
Let's get Marcela in here. Those are 3 weeks after all?
If it is 3 weeks, I think it would be perfect, don't you?
Yes, I think even earlier.
Ah, perfect, so let's see how that progresses
And we schedule the rest of the month.
Thank you.
- Ana! - Yes?
I just wanted to ask you. I completely forgot
that I have a doctor's appointment and I wanted to know if I can go.
Yes, of course you can go.
But I would have liked it if you told me earlier.
Yes, I just completely forgot.
- Alright, alright, no problem. - Thank you.
How are you doing? You look better, you look good.
Yes, everything is much better.
Marce, I'm going to eat something. I don't know if you want to...
- Where are you going? - To see him.
- Whom? - Jack.
What? In other words, are you going to ditch work?
And what did you tell Ana?
That I had a doctor's appointment.
What? Did you lie to Ana?
You never lie! What's more, you never leave early!
It is the pre-release of the book. What do you want me to do?
Well, tell him you can't go.
I want to go.
Ok, Ok, Ok, I just want you to know
that I feel that you are obsessing over this guy.
You know what?
You just don't know what it is that someone sees you for who you are.
No, no, you know what? I'm worried that you're getting
totally involved with a guy that you don't know at all.
- I know him. I know everything about him. - Right.
I'm going to be late, talk to you later.
Come on, come on, run.
A lot of people came today, right?
Don't you think he's great?
He signed my book and everything!
Tonight I will get home and read it all,
I want to know all about how it ended with that Alexandra
and how she treated him badly.
I definitely do not understand how can there be women
who treat men like him badly. He is so sensitive.
Have you already bought the book? It is very good.
Well, enjoy it. I had to take off work
to be able to be here, so it's my turn to run
before I get scolded. Anyway, I'll see you.
Love...
Another one, another one.
That one is better.
Thank you.
Come in.
What's your name?
Angie.
To Angie, you know, don't you? Jacques no Jackes. Enjoy it, to you.
Hi, how are you doing? What is your name?
Angie too, you are the second.
Stay well.
Hi.
Your turn.
Hello beautiful, is everything OK?
Yes.
Thanks.
In whose name should I make the dedication?
What?
The book.
Oh, em...
The one who understands what you are going through.
- But you have a name, right? - Yes.
What is it?
Marcela.
Marcela, to whom...
Ah, you are Marcela.
You were the one who left me that same comment,
I understand what you are going through, in my social media, right?
Yes.
Of course I remember you. Thank you very much.
Not at all.
No, really, the truth is that one doesn't really appreciate such comments.
That day in particular, it made me feel very good.
Thank you.
Can I take a picture with you?
Sure, let's take the picture, come over here.
I'll take it if you want.
Ready? One,
another smiling.
Bitch.
That was a good one.
Sorry.
No, don't worry, is alright, it is very good. Look.
Check it out I like it.
Yes, is really good.
Thank you very much again.
No thanks to you.
Goodbye.
Hello, mother?
How is everything going?
Well, exporting to send to mix.
Ah alright, and how are you?
Good.
- Are you sure? - Yes.
I am receiving many comments on your performance.
Whose?
From all over the world, customers.
The director changes his mind a thousand times about the same thing.
No, your colleagues also say that you are on another planet.
Since I earned that award everyone is looking for a way to screw me.
Breathe, breathe, that's what I came to tell you.
I think you need time, that breakup with your ex left you in a very bad shape,
You need to find yourself. Come back here in a more creative mindset.
I don't think it is necessary Ana.
You don't have to feel sorry for all this. I also had to stop when I divorced.
You have to go to find yourself and figure out where you stand.
I would really, really prefer to keep working.
I am not going to be your friend now. I'm going to be your boss.
That rest is mandatory.
And I'm not going to give you an ordinary vacation
I'm going to give you a paid break for all the great work you do for us.
You will thank me later.
So, you finish your work, you take your sabbatical
and we'll talk in a couple of weeks, ok?
Yes.
How is the book?
Good.
Shall I read it?
- No, I don't think is your type. - You never know,
I will read it to see if we have other things to talk about when you come back.
Bye.
WHEN YOU BRING OUT YOUR INNER LANCE BASS.
JACQUES HAS POSTED A NEW VIDEO.
Hello family of one's choice, welcome to another chapter of:
"Jacques no Jackes"
Well, chapter as a real chapter let's say no, because today it's more like
I am going to explain the contest rules, yes,
the contest where a girl can accompany me...
to the launch of my book, to have a date with me,
to have a great time, but what do we have to do, man?
C'mon dude, explain it to us.
First: You have to enter the page
www.mividacomoyoutuber.com and register.
Second: You must pre-order my book
My Life as a YouTuber Yes ladies, buy it,
If you were already at the pre-launch of my book and you already bought it...
is simple, at the back of the book there is a code, enter it.
Third: and this is my favorite part,
You have to get your heads on straight, tackle that creativity.
Seek divine inspiration to make a video,
it is simply a video where you'll explain,
why do you have to be the winners of the contest,
why do you want to go out with me, why do you want to be
at the launch of my book dancing with me.
Once you have it ready, you have been inspired
you have this powerful winning video of a powerful contest,
you upload it to the site. Easy, isn't it?
So, I'll be waiting. Get inspired,
Look for that creativity, make the best video.
Win the contest and maybe we'll see each other.
Hello family of one's choice, Allow me to introduce myself,
I am Marcela Muñoz, I believe I am the right person
to accompany Jacques to the launch of his book;
my life as a YouTuber, because I am addicted to... his videos.
They make me laugh, and they make me cry,
I feel that... he's a person who understands me
on the face of the earth. Then,
to be selected, event,
tt would be something... unimaginable to me.
- Is that okay?
- Yes, my love, that's perfect.
- Did you arrive alone?
- I don't know.
- Are you sure that's right?
- Yes, Don't start.
If anything happens, I move it from here.
Let me help you with the bags.
- Good.
And Javier?
- Hello my love. - Hi daddy.
- How are you doing? - Well, how about you?
- Good, good, give me this one too.
- Ok.
- Here comes your mom.
- Welcome daughter.
- Hi Mom. - Hello love.
- I'm going to carry the suitcases to your room.
- You remember that the room is occupied, don't you?
She must be accommodated in the other room.
- Marcelita, I'm so sorry.
Since we didn't know you were coming we lend you your room to a photographer,
is a good guy, you will meet him later.
Excuse me.
- A photographer?
Help me there.
- Daughter.
- Mother.
- What happened to Javier?
- He was unable to come.
- How so?
- Work.
- Well, it's a long weekend he could have taken a couple of days.
- Yes, but he could not.
You broke up, right?
- Why do you say that?
- Because Javier has stopped coming
and you know it.
- I don't want to talk about it, mom, alright?
Daddy! Photographer of what?
So if I don't fall on them by surprise, I don't find out
that they had given away my room to a stranger.
- Don't be exaggerated. He is a photographer and
your dad is very pleased with him. He is a friend of the Peña family.
It is temporary.
Gloria, the girl is right, we should have consulted you earlier.
Alright.
Ready?
Yes, let's go.
Gloria, we are going to practice with the girl. See you soon.
Yes, of course, go away and leave me alone,
since Javier did not come who is the one that accompanies me.
And you insist with Javier.
It's okay, so if you want to,
we stay and help you.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I don't want to ruin
the father-daughter moment. I'm used to it.
Gloria...
No, let's do one thing,
when I come later we both play.
No.
No?
And I tie you with the straps...
I love you...
Oh Pablo, you are terrible.
Let's go.
Yes, let's go.
My darling... what's the name of this boy... your boyfriend's name?
This boy, you know what it is called.
My love the truth is that
I can't get used to you having a boyfriend.
Then don't worry because he is no longer my boyfriend.
No?
No.
What happened?
Well, well, don't be so happy.
No, I am not happy,
but tell me what happened.
With Javier?
With Javier.
It did not work.
But... Are you okay?
Yes.
Are you sure?
Yes, daddy, don't worry.
Beautiful.
Alright...
Let's practice.
I can't practice with your mom because she doesn't like it.
But you are here my love, and I am sure
that she is not going to be a nuisance.
Good, need help?
Ready!
Good, like when you were little.
Don't forget,
feet shoulder width apart,
semi-flexed arms, and don't forget to always
support the right hand and the revolver on the left hand.
- Okay. - Ok, this is the position.
C'mon.
That's it, hit it there, that's it.
And don't forget to breathe.
Calm love, is the first one. Breathe.
Pablo!
Yes, my love, tell me.
Love, the stove jammed again.
Ok love, I'm coming.
No, now! I have to cook the chicken.
Okay, alright. I'm coming.
God.
Don't forget to breathe.
My mom was telling me about your tenant,
Tell me who he is.
He is a very talented photographer. A friend of the Peña family.
I think he is staying Nearby,
I even invited him to dinner tonight.
I hope Marcela won't start smoking.
No Gloria, why would you think that?
Are you smoking?
Only with you daddy.
Do you know who you are?
You are my daughter
And I know you,
and I know you're not going through a good time,
even if you tell me you're fine,
I know better.
Darling, it happened to me too before I met your mom.
When I divorced I felt very bad.
I felt terrible.
I thought I had a sign on the forehead that said:
"This man has no future".
Negative thoughts began,
and I did things that were not right,
very bad things but fortunately I came to my senses.
I know that things with Javier ended,
but it happens sometimes, life is not always as you want it to be.
If I had not had that failure with my first wife
I am sure that... today could not make your mom happy.
Daughter,
I love you.
Finish the cigarette and let's go inside
it is getting very cold.
Well, help yourselves because it will get cold.
- Please. - Enjoy your meal.
So Michel, how did you meet my dad?
It is a story that is not very long,
is kind of funny, I think.
Michel and I are supposedly worked together years ago
But the truth Michel, excuse me, I do not remember.
No, but you don't have to remember,
I was a humble photography assistant.
Apparently Michel worked on the photos
that were used on the cover of the CD I produced.
At that time the covers
were mostly done with photographs, and did not use that pile
of graphic design and cartoons that they use today,
was more that style.
So, they called me to take the photos of the article
of that music magazine...
That magazine where your dad was announcing
the withdrawal of the music.
So, they called Michel to take pictures.
- So, you took the pictures. - Yes.
No, no, no, he did not take pictures.
Made him look like the emperor of music.
Don't overdo it either.
No, no, I am not exaggerating. You should have seen it, daughter.
The girls were all over him.
Not again with the same story,
You are exaggerating my love, and I know it's because you love me.
I love you.
And what do you do Marcela, your dad told me
that you recently won a very important award, something like that.
Eh, yes. I work in sound design
for movies and commercials above all.
Truthfully she is very modest. She won an award
for making the sound design of a film.
It was amazing.
And can it be seen?
Of course, What's more, you have to see it.
Yes, I surely want to see it, is it available?
It's unbelievable, such a handsome boy, brilliant, smart like you
and you just haven't married?
- My goodness. - Gloria please.
What? And what does it have to do with having
In addition, if he was uncomfortable you would have told me, wouldn't you?
Am I being nosy?
No, not at all but if it is difficult for a person to
be patient with my pace of work, the things I like to do.
It's hard to be in a relationship.
That's my daughter you know, she starts a project
And becomes so engrossed that she forgets the whole world.
She does not visit us. Actually, you know.
That is why I believe she broke up with the boyfriend.
Mom, no more.
Gloria, I don't think we have to talk about it, please.
- No, but if you have... - It is the truth.
It is often very difficult for people to understand
our time, our work pace
and if the relationships become difficult,
is more than normal, is the artist's life, isn't it?
Spoke like a true artist. Let's toast to Michel.
Cheers!
For your photo collection.
Yes, to getting my series published or to be able to exhibit it somewhere.
So let's toast to the series.
Cheers!
And we're going to get someone to publish it, of course.
Why, What are you working on?
I am making a series of photos, which can be a bit like...
like a problem for some people, they are a bit taboo,
I am exploring female sexuality.
These are amazing photos.
Yes, they already told me that my room is your room.
I turned it into a dark room for some time
your dad very generously allowed me to use,
I think hit will be back back to normal very soon.
I would love to see them.
Of course, I'll show them to you whenever you want.
And why did you choose that topic?
Because I love women, because...
They have taken me to... push the boundaries of beauty,
understand it differently. I think they are very powerful.
Powerful as.
From every point of view, I think the shape of their body,
their curves... the way they get all of us men
to do whatever it takes
in order to get under their skirt.
I think that makes them very powerful.
And… Are the women in your photos models?
No, no, they are not models, no.
I got tired of taking pictures of models.
They are ordinary women.
And they get naked for you?
Yes, many times the link...
the bond is emotional
and after that we become friends and...
Inadvertently, there can be a sexual bond, why not.
I could not take nude photos.
No, you don't think so?
No,
Well, they say it can be very liberating.
But what like a selfie in the bathroom?
No.
Perhaps an expert can help you.
- Someone like you? - Why not?
Maybe one of these days when your parents go on a trip.
- We can, I don't know, explore. - Maybe.
Be careful.
Yes.
I WOULD LIKE TO MEET TO APOLOGIZE FOR EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED.
CAN WE GET TOGETHER ONE OF THESE DAYS FOR A BEER?
- Hello. - Hello.
- How are you doing? - Well, and you?
All good. Do you want to sit here or we go to a table over there.
Here is fine.
Alright.
You look very pretty.
Thank you.
Would you like to have a drink?
A beer?
Beer! My friend!
Hey, do me a favor.
Bro, hey.
Hey, can I ask you a question?
Ah, tell me.
Who do you have to sleep with in here to get a beer?
I'll bring you one.
Thank you!
Don't stop, Jacques.
What?
Who the fuck is Jacques?
What do you care who Jacques is?
Are you dating someone?
What do you care if I am dating someone?
What's wrong with you?
It happens, that you're crazy.
Ah, I'm crazy?
Yes, you are crazy.
Hypocrisy in person.
- Who? Me? - Clearly you.
Yes? You called me Jacques.
Where is your girlfriend?
Don't get her in...
You want to stick it in me, but we can't talk about your girlfriend.
Fuck, you called me Jacques!
He sucks me, so what.
So what? I suck you too. You loved it when I sucked you off.
No, no.
Don't you remember when I did it to you?
Since I met Jacques, I realized that there was a part
of me that I didn't know existed.
I don't have to listen to that shit of yours.
That you didn't know existed.
It's just that he's a much better fuck than you.
That's enough.
He does not have that little problem that you have to get it hard.
I have no problem.
- No? - No.
Shall we call your girlfriend? What does she say?
Doesn't she tell you all the time that it happens to everyone?
What? Did I hurt your feelings? Yes?
Thank you for breaking up with me because I met someone
who fucks me as he wants.
Yes?
What are you going to do? Now if you've got your güevas down?
Tougher.
More...
Choke me.
I am worried about you. You are taking this to a level of insanity.
Good luck getting it hard with your girlfriend now.
Fuck you.
Hello, family of one's choice. Welcome to another chapter of:
"Jacques no Jackes" Finally, the time has come
to announce the winner of the contest.
But before that I have to thank
all those who sent their videos, because the truthfully
they were really wonderful. It was very difficult to choose.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I laughed, my eyes watered.
I laughed again, I loved them, but unfortunately
there can only be one winner. At last, the long-awaited moment...
and the winner is:
Marcela, Marcela Muñoz.
Look, look, she showed off. I have to confess that she did a great job
did a crazy job. We were dumbfounded
when we saw it we all said; she is undoubtedly the winner.
So Marcela, in a short time,
watch out for your cell phone, watch out for your networks.
Because we will be contacting you. Because you are coming with me
to the launch of my book. Because you're going to dance with me.
Because you're going on an unforgettable date with me.
For the time being, Marcela, you know this.
You are my date.
- Hello? - Hello Marcela.
- Yes? - How are you doing? With Jacques.
Hello.
- Everything OK? - Good and you?
Fine, thank you very much. Listen,
I got you a car to pick you up at your home
and bring you here to the event site, is it OK?
OK.
I'm sorry I couldn't pick you up.
No, don't worry.
The thing is that I am really busy with the event.
Yes, don't worry about me.
Thank you for your understanding. See you here.
Okay.
Okay, bye.
- Hello? - Hello Marcela?
- Yes. Hello Marcela, this is Cristina,
Jacques' manager. How is everything going?
Good, and you?
Everything good. Look, soon a car will go to pick you up so, watch out for it.
Ok and Jacques?
He will be here waiting for you. What happened is that because
of all this hassle, he couldn't go.
But he is very sorry with you for not picking you up.
Yes, don't worry.
They're picking you up right now, okay?
Good.
Alright, bye.
- Who is it for? - To Natalia.
Jacques, look.
Good, good.
Thank you.
This one for whom?
Marcela?
Yes.
Hi, I'm Cristina Jacques' manager.
Oh, hi.
Thank you for participating in the contest.
Your video was amazing. We all liked it,
especially Jacques.
Thank you.
I'm going to see if he... He is very busy.
Yes, I can imagine.
Hey but... You look super pretty.
Thank you.
I'm going to go look for him.
Jacques, come with me.
Meet Marcela, the winner of the contest.
Hello, hi.
How are you doing? How was the ride here?
- Good. - Everything OK?
You realize that we are already trending on Twitter, right?
Wonderful.
Wonderful, but it worries me.
Why?
Because the page will crash at any time
and the streaming is not going to be seen by anyone.
Well, I'll solve it.
So, what are you waiting for?
I'm going to fix it.
You read it then, yes?
Marcela, we have a preferential spot for you.
Come this way.
Would you like to have a drink?
No thanks.
Are you sure? Wine, water.
Alright
Wine. Do me a favor,
bring her a wine please.
They will bring it to you.
Hello and welcome to all, thank you for being here.
It's one thing to make videos on YouTube and be alone,
and it is another thing to have an audience, so please forgive me
if I'm a little nervous...
I love you!
Thank you, I love you too.
So nothing, I just want to thank you all
I really appreciate the support you have given me watching my YouTube videos,
supporting the channel. The truth is that I started as a game
and I didn't expect it to be as successful as it has been.
Even less the success the book has had,
because that was a second step
that I wasn't expecting. And in doing so,
and seeing the public's reception, yours,
I want to tell you: thank you very much for your support,
for reading it, for buying it. I am very happy to have your support.
No, really, I think I'm not going to bore you anymore
with so much talk. If you liked it then recommend it to your friends
and if not to your enemies. What difference does it make?
Without further ado, let the party begin, right?!
Thank you, thank you for being here.
Is everything Ok?
People are having a good time, aren't they?
Uh?
People are having a good time, aren't they?
So it seems, great, isn't it?
How did I talk? I made a fool of myself, didn't I?
Look who's here.
And who invited this one?
I don't know.
Hey, how's it going?
Alexa, how about you?
Good, how are you?
Divinely.
Congratulations, the book is a complete success, isn't it?
Truthfully, we are very pleased. Did you hear the lastest news?
No, what?
They are translating into english,
in a few months it will start selling in the United States.
Is that so? Very good.
How nice! And above all I congratulate Cristi
because I know that without her you wouldn't do anything.
Yes, surely.
Of course!
No shit.
I'm sure they don't give a shit.
And your friend, who is she?
So what are we becoming?
We haven't talked about it.
Ah,
well...
I wish you all the best.
Congratulations, I hope the book keeps doing well.
Thank you.
Always wishing you the best.
The same to you.
- See you soon. - Okay, Take advantage of the free drinks.
Yes, that's what I'm getting at, finally something free, right?
- The way you like it. - Yes.
Who does she think she is or what?
And what does it matter... I didn't invite you.
I didn't invite you...
Pretty?
Do you want to leave?
So, how are you doing with that YouTuber?
I am not doing.
What?
How so? What happened?
You were super thrilled with this guy.
You know... Men.
You know I know.
And... what about you? How do you feel?
Don't worry.
Well, you weren't going to get someone that fast anyway, right?
Besides, what a drag to have a relationship with a YouTuber.
Imagine you taking pictures all day long
making videos... no, what a drag.
And did you fuck him? That guy was so hot.
He was yummy.
No, it didn't come to that.
Didn't fuck him? Oh no...
You know that I have to fuck someone
to know if there is any chemistry or something, you understand me?
- No seriously. - He is about to start on the subject.
- Go talk about penises. Can I borrow the bathroom?
- Don't you eat all the cheeses, you hear? - Me?
Hey, did Javier call you or something?
No, he did not call me.
Marce... Are there more of these cheeses?
Really Oscar, really no more
with the fucking cheeses. - But is that...
You have done nothing but eat the cheeses, control yourself.
If you want, I'll go with you.
No, I'm going to get them.
Oh so good, this would be delicious with a little bread.
Give me a little wine, Osquitar.
Vale?
Marce... What is all this?
It is nothing.
I'm really worried about you. Are you okay?
They were for a contest.
I know which contest they were for and that was a while ago, Marcela.
Why do you have this guy's pictures here? You are becoming obsessed.
- I am not obsessing. - Yes you are!
- I'm not obsessing!
Look, I don't know what you think but I think that breaking up
with Javier left you in a bad shape and that's fine.
It is a process...
I'm not obsessing! How many times do I have to tell you.
Don't judge me.
Don't tell me I'm crazy. Stay out of it.
I don't want to talk about it.
Please don't say anything to them.
Hey...
Yes Cristina, I'll upload that video, but tomorrow.
Because I am just entering my house and I'm exhausted.
Not right now, tomorrow for real.
Yes, tomorrow.
There is a little video for my family Jacques, a birthday video.
What the fuck!!
Where am I? Who are you?
Don't you recognize me?
Huh?
Do you remember me?
You were the one who won the contest.
Ah, so you did see me that day.
Where am I?
In my house, you came to give me what you promised me.
What?
That I want you to give me what you promised me
when I won the contest.
What did I promise you? What are you talking about?
I did not dance, I did not laugh, that was not a date.
Are you crazy or what?
No! I want what is rightfully mine.
Let me go.
Let me go now.
Let me out of here, you crazy bitch! Help, help!
It must not be comfortable, right?
If you don't calm down,
You will not be able to get dressed. If you don't dress up,
we will not be able to have our date.
And if we don't have our date, you will not be able to leave.
What do you want to hear?
What kind of music do you like?
Whatever you want is fine.
Do you want wine?
Yes.
Cheers,
to a lovely night.
Aren't you going to toast?
I know what you are thinking, why don't I delete her.
I don't kill her right here. You can't.
The key to the padlock you have on your leg.
I don't have it with me.
So, this way if you kill me you can't get out of here.
Eat.
Don't you like it?
I am Vegetarian.
I didn't know... I didn't see that in any of your videos.
Cristina forbade me tell that.
Why?
She says that vegetarians radiate an air of moral superiority.
Smart...
Tomorrow I will prepare something that you will like.
Tomorrow?
Yes, tomorrow.
When will I be able to leave here?
How so?
When am I going to be able to get the hell out of here?
I don't know, I thought we could stay for a while.
Don't look at me like that, you will change your mind.
So, the book was a success.
No.
But you sold 9,000 copies. That's a lot.
That is a lie.
It was translated into English.
Another lie.
But a lot of people sent videos to enter the contest.
A lot of people that we paid to do so
and to go to the launch, is called strategy.
Why?
Everyone does it.
Yes... It is a business that works well.
So, your business is a lie.
It is ours.
What else?
My relationship with Alexandra,
nonexistent, never happened.
I saw them fight.
You forget that I am an actor.
You kissed me.
I am a very good actor.
And the fight afterwards?
A script,
made for actors.
Everything... Everything is...
Bullshit, yes.
A perfectly put show for obsessive freaks like you.
No.
They become obsessed with people like me.
No.
For the simple act of standing up to talk in front of a fucking camera.
Yes.
Do you know why we chose you?
Because we have to put a face to such a crazy fan.
- Shut up.
We really couldn't believe that there was someone like you.
We had to meet you, we could not believe
that there was a crazy bitch of your proportions.
Shut up!
What about enjoying your parents' house while they are on the road?
Yes, something like that.
Yes, your dad told me that maybe you were coming.
To be on the lookout, I saw your car and decided to come in and say hello.
Thank you.
Well, whatever you need you can let me know.
Well, thank you.
Your dad told me he was going to take out darkroom stuff.
Yes, I picked them up.
But... You left the red light.
Here are your things.
Thank you, you're just like your dad. You want to have everything in order.
I believe that the minimum is to change your light bulb.
No, the truth is that I like it.
But it is quite uncomfortable.
I was thinking that... We could leave the bulb
and take some pictures.
Well, if you want us to leave the light for that, that wouldn't be a problem.
Yes.
I hope you like this food.
Thank you,
thank you very much, Marcela,
to...
our third attempt.
Cheers.
What?
I like the song.
Me too.
Do you want to dance?
Who is it?
Michel.
- Hello! - Hello.
Did I wake you up?
Ehh, yes.
I didn't know you slept late.
What time is it?
About 10 o'clock in the morning.
And what are you doing here?
Well, I was on the market taking some pictures
and I saw this and decided to come to make you breakfast.
Your family has been very nice to me.
I want to cook something for you.
Did you have a party last night or what?
No.
I like the way that shirt looks on you.
I was thinking we could skip the photos.
No, Michel. No.
PSYCHOSEXUAL