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-(CARS HORN HONKING) -(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
♪ ("DON'T DO SADNESS" BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING) ♪
-FAN: Thank you, darling. -LEA MICHELE: Of course,
there you go.
-FAN: Thank you. -LEA: We are reuniting
the cast of Spring Awakening
for the first time in 15 years
for a one-night benefit concert,
benefitting the incredible Actors' Fund.
JONATHAN GROFF: Getting the chance
to come back together
after 15 years and do this concert,
and touch again
the material that changed our lives,
-is gonna be insane. -(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
LAUREN PRITCHARD: I don't know that I ever thought
we would ever do this again.
There was never fuckin' anything like this
that's ever happened on a Broadway stage.
LEA: Even now,
trying to explain the show to my husband.
So, there are these kids in the 1800s.
But we pull out microphones,
and then we sing like rock songs?
-♪ (VOCALIZING) ♪ -JONATHAN: The show is so hard to describe.
1891 Germany, rock music, there's children in it.
They're having sex on stage. (CHUCKLES)
LEA: He's like, "So, is it like Rent?"
I'm like, it's not like Rent. (CHUCKLES)
This character is jerking this one off,
this one's abused, these two have a gay scene,
abortion, the sex, the suicide. And we were all so young.
STEVEN SATER: I could never imagine
that it would be on Broadway. But it touched a nerve.
-(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) -JONATHAN: It was a hit. We weren't just doing
a show anymore, we were doing the show.
There were kids sleeping on the streets to come
to this show and feel seen. Like, they're not alone.
And this thing that they did 15 years ago still means
so much to people.
LEA: We became of those
shows where everyone really blew up.
We got movies and television shows.
LILLI COOPER: I've been in four Broadway shows
and I got nominated for a Tony Award,
and it started with Spring Awakening.
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING) -My next guest you know
from Mindhunter, Frozen and Hamilton.
He's now in The Matrix Resurrections.
LEA: Fifteen years later,
we're doing this reunion concert.
"And now we get to experience this show again. I'm excited
-and a little scared. Woo-hoo." -(ALL CHUCKLE)
LEA: And everyone keeps saying,
"Oh, it's just gonna come right back, it's just gonna come right back."
And then we got to the theater and I was like,
-"Oh, my God, am I ready?" -Whoo!
STAGE CREW: Ladies and gentlemen,
this is your places call,
-places for the top of the show. -(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
♪ (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
LILLI: We were pinching ourselves.
-We're doing it again. -(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
LILLI: The second we all walked out,
it felt like we were The Beatles.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE CONTINUES)
JONATHAN: The plan was we walk in and sit down,
but we were so connected to each other that we knew
to stand there and enjoy this wave of enthusiasm.
And everyone is like, "Holy fucking shit."
Like, "This is happening right now?"
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
(JONATHAN BLOWING RASPBERRIES)
(CARS HONKING)
(BLOWS RASPBERRIES)
This picture... (CHUCKLES)
...I texted to everyone
'cause this really sums up our experience.
That was happening.
The whole group of us, the cast, the band
haven't been in a room together for 15 years.
Today is our day one, we're gonna do,
like, music rehearsal.
I haven't, like, rehearsed anything yet.
♪ (VOCALIZES) ♪
LEA: I haven't performed in such a long time,
or sang or acted in forever,
and your vocal cords, they're a muscle.
So you want to stretch out your muscle and warm it up
before you just make it go,
you know, a thousand miles per hour.
♪ (VOCALIZES) ♪
Is it there? It's there. Is it there? Ah!
The hardest thing I think in doing it is gonna be...
(INHALES, BLOWS RASPBERRIES)
...not crying while singing.
♪ ("ALL THAT'S KNOWN" PLAYING ON PHONE) ♪
-♪ On I go ♪ -(EXHALES)
(SINGING ALONG) ♪ To wonder and to learning ♪
Fuck. (INHALES, BLOWS RASPBERRIES)
LEA: Okay. On to the next thing.
(EXHALES) Thank you.
I don't normally do this with my bike helmet, guys.
(CHUCKLES)
It's going to be a tearful, probably like six days,
and then we're gonna do the show.
LEA: Thank you so much.
-LEA: Hey. -JONATHAN: Oh, hi.
LEA: They're gonna think we planned it.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
JONATHAN: Oh, my God.
We've met, you may not remember me.
It was like 15 years ago.
We all have this primal thread going through all of us.
(CHUCKLES)
LEA: I just want to be in this world
with these people
who have always made me feel so safe.
-Whoo! -(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
JOHN GALLAGHER JR.: It's just an immense gift
to get a chance to revisit the piece,
to revisit my friends and family
'cause it was such a community that we created.
-STEVEN: Okay. -LEA: Oh, my God.
JONATHAN: The cast of Spring Awakening is on a text chain.
And this year, Lauren wrote me
and said, "Jonathan, I had a dream
that we were all together doing this show.
And I think we should do an anniversary concert."
LAUREN: And I woke up the next morning and I was like,
"We have to do this. I want to do this one more time."
JONATHAN: It was COVID, so the schedules were open.
We decided we're gonna do a one-night benefit concert
for The Actor's Fund. We asked everyone in the cast,
-they immediately said yes. -(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
We did it! We did it! We did it! (CHUCKLES) We did it!
It's kind of insane and miraculous.
ALL: Kim! Kim! Kim! Kim! Kim!
Whoo!
-We've got work to do! -ALL: Yeah!
JOHN: I'm really nervous.
I haven't sung these songs in, you know, over a decade.
How are they going to feel? How is it gonna fit?
Is it-- Can I still hit the high notes?
JOHN:
(ALL LAUGH)
I don't have to do-- I don't have to do anything.
LEA: We have three rehearsal days,
and then we're gonna perform it onstage.
So, I'm scared.
I told Jonathan that I hadn't been
that nervous or anxious since the day my son was born.
♪ (GUITAR PLAYING "MAMA WHO BORE ME" BY DUNCAN SHEIK) ♪
LEA: It was a tsunami of emotions.
♪ Mama who bore me ♪
♪ Mama who gave me No way to handle things ♪
♪ Who made me so sad ♪
♪ Mama the weeping ♪
♪ Mama the angels... ♪
JONATHAN: Watching her sing that song,
I was like, "Oh, my God." I saw this 19-year-old girl,
memory. And I just lost my mind.
♪ Some pray that one day ♪
♪ Christ will come a-callin' ♪
♪ And they light a candle ♪
♪ And hope that it glows ♪
♪ And some Just lie there crying ♪
♪ For him to come And find them ♪
♪ But when he comes They don't know ♪
♪ How to go ♪
♪ Mama who bore me ♪
♪ Mama who gave me No way to handle things ♪
♪ Who made me so bad ♪
♪ Mama the weeping ♪
♪ Mama the angels ♪
♪ No sleep in heaven ♪
♪ Or Bethlehem ♪
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
(ALL CHEER, APPLAUD)
JONATHAN: She has one of those voices
that just, like, slays me.
In 2006, she would sing that song
and always sound perfect. Like, fuck her.
She's one of my dearest friends.
We had this experience in Spring Awakening
that changed our lives.
♪ Mama who bore me ♪
♪ Mama who gave me ♪
♪ Mama the angels ♪
♪ Who made me so sad ♪
-♪ Mama who bore me ♪ -♪ Mama who bore me ♪
-♪ Mama who gave me... ♪ -♪ Mama who gave me... ♪
STEVEN: This book,
this is Frank Wedekind's Fruhlings Erwachen.
This is the original version of Spring Awakening
that I bought in a German bookstore...
(INHALES) ...in 1999.
I'm the kind of guy who reads random old plays. (LAUGHS)
It's this 19th century story about the deafness of adults
to what's going on in the hearts of the young children.
That longing and desire and frustration of young people.
It's as if the entire world
were mesmerized by penis and vagina.
The 19th century characters, they're Lutheran.
They're growing up in a Lutheran culture
when history and science are under attack.
We are hardly here today to conjecture.
These kids are all oppressed by their parents,
clergy, and teachers.
To God, to our parents, to our teachers.
We can never render sufficient gratitude.
STEVEN: Our main character Melchior is on a hero's journey.
Questioning everything, trying to break free.
Are you then suggesting there is no further room
for critical thought or interpretation?
Why indeed, then do we have... (GASPS)
STEVEN: He falls in love with Wendla,
who aches with desire, but knows nothing about sex.
I'm ashamed to even ask.
But then who can I ask but you? (INHALES)
Wendla, child! You cannot imagine that I could--
You can't imagine that I still believe in the stork.
STEVEN: Moritz, Melchior's best friend,
is an anxious teen flailing in school
because he's agonized by the thought of puberty.
He's really struggling with it.
I can't stop thinking about it. This part, here.
STEVEN: They're struggling with sexual desire and puberty,
and these children have to learn to mentor themselves,
because they have no adults they can rely on.
It's your terrible chastity that's driving me to this!
Hanschen! That's enough in there!
STEVEN: And the adult refusal to heed those
children's frustrations results in tragic consequences.
-You failed. Haven't you? -MORITZ: I only meant to--
-I see it in your face. -But Father--
♪ No sleep in heaven ♪
♪ Or Bethlehem ♪
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
In 1999, in the wake of the shootings at Columbine...
(INHALES) ...I felt we're living this.
-♪ (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -STEVEN: That was
what gave impetus to doing this show.
CBS NEWS REPORTER: Fifteen people died
in the carnage yesterday, 28 are injured.
Everyone around me got shot.
STEVEN: My determination for the show was to touch
the troubled heart of youth around the world.
And it had always seemed to me
that this play was like an opera in waiting.
BRIAN C. JOHNSTON: ♪ Living It's the bitch ♪
-Yeah. -♪ Of living ♪
♪ Bitch, just the bitch... ♪
♪ Yeah, bitch... ♪
DUNCAN SHEIK: In 1999, I met Steven Sater
because we are both practicing Buddhists.
He said, "Read this play. I think we should adapt it
as a musical."
I'm a singer, songwriter who makes records.
In 1996, I released my first album.
It did pretty well.
So, my first reaction was just like, "Plays are cool,
plays with music, all good,
but like musicals?" That was
definitely not my cup of tea at that moment.
(SINGING QUIETLY) ♪ It's the bitch of living ♪
STEVEN: Duncan said, "If I were to do anything
in musical theater, I want
the music to be relevant to the culture at large."
And I thought...
(INHALES) ...the place that these unheard yearnings
of young people... (INHALES) ...have been expressed
and relieved for generations has been rock music.
♪ Looks so nasty In those khakis... ♪
DUNCAN: So I read the play. I thought it was awesome.
You know, so racy and so sort of punk rock.
And Steven just started faxing me lyrics.
-(DUNCAN CHUCKLING) -All right, let's start it again, from the top.
MICHAEL MAYER: In 1999,
Steven Sater called out of the blue,
and he said he had this idea.
Wait, Michael, do you want us all to stand up?
Okay, so it's-- But the thing that really... (IMITATES MUSIC)
And then we add him.
I had some success and failure back-to-back
early on in my Broadway career,
and Broadway was never something that I had dreamed of.
I was doing my first film, but I loved Spring Awakening.
It's catnip for a director.
Then we add Johnny. And then on that, everyone's up.
It was unfinished.
There was never a definitive version of it.
DUNCAN: We had this initial conception
that maybe we should set it in, like, 1950s America.
And then really quickly,
I realized as much as I don't like musical theater,
I really don't like '50s rock and roll.
That's like not my thing either.
And Michael was the one who was like, "Oh, yeah,
let's just make the music completely contemporary."
STEVEN: But I've never wanted to write the kind of lyrics
that forward plot. This is part of how...
(INHALES) ...our show is a different kind of musical.
I wanted them to take us into what cannot be said
and what can only be felt.
MICHAEL MAYER: And then I had an image of a boy
in his 19th century German tight little jacket
and breeches, and little shoes and stockings,
pulling a microphone out and becoming in that moment,
any kid, any time
dealing with this universal teenage angst.
♪ ("THE BITCH OF LIVING" BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING) ♪
♪ God, I dreamed There was an angel ♪
♪ Who could hear me Through the wall ♪
♪ As I cried out like in Latin ♪
♪ This is so not life at all ♪
♪ Help me out Out of this nightmare ♪
♪ Then I heard her silver call ♪
♪ She said "Just give it time, kid ♪
♪ I come to one and all" ♪
♪ She said, "Give me That hand please... ♪
The sound of John Gallagher singing the beginning
of "Bitch of Living" is Spring Awakening.
It's like... (EXHALES)
♪ Oh, we'll work That silver magic ♪
♪ Then we'll aim it At the wall ♪
♪ She said, "Love may Make you blind, kid" ♪
♪ But I wouldn't mind at all ♪
-♪ It's the bitch of living ♪ -♪ Bitch, just the bitch ♪
-♪ Nothing but your hand ♪ -♪ Just the bitch, yeah ♪
♪ Just the bitch of living As someone you can't stand ♪
♪ See, each night It's, like, fantastic ♪
♪ Tossing, turning without rest 'Cause my day's at the piano ♪
♪ With my teacher And her breasts ♪
♪ And the music's Like the one thing ♪
♪ I can even get at all ♪
♪ And those breasts I mean, God, please ♪
♪ Just let those apples fall ♪
♪ It's the bitch of living ♪
-♪ Bitch ♪ -♪ Ah, ah, ah ♪
♪ With nothing going on Nothing going on ♪
♪ Just the bitch of living ♪
♪ Asking, "What went wrong?" ♪
♪ Do they think we want this? ♪
♪ Oh, who knows... ♪
So, we started working. We had a handful of songs
and a handful of scenes,
and a handful of lovely young actors.
LEA: I did the first workshop of Spring Awakening
when I was 14 years old.
Even at 14, I was like, "What is this?
I have to do this."
STEVEN: For the years we worked on it...
(CHUCKLES) ...we were rejected everywhere,
and everyone thought we were out of our minds.
We're sending a script with this classical diction
and German names that no one could pronounce
and a rock CD.
MICHAEL: And then I invited Tom Hulce,
with whom I was doing my first film,
to come and see a workshop.
As soon as he said 1890s in Germany,
and then the guitar plays and the microphones come out,
I thought, well, that's a genius theatrical idea.
I thought, "Oh, my God,
this is kind of crazy and amazing."
And six months later,
we got a concert at Lincoln Center
in the American Songbook series.
This was it. We invited every artistic director,
every commercial producer we knew,
and we got them all there.
DUNCAN: We had spent three years working on it at that point,
and it was sort of dead in the water.
It really was a last-ditch effort
to sort of save the project from nonexistence.
♪ See them showering At gym class ♪
♪ Bobby Mahler, he's the best ♪
♪ Looks so nasty In those khakis ♪
♪ God, my whole life's Like some test ♪
-♪ Then there's Marianna Wheelan ♪ -♪ (CHORUS VOCALIZING) ♪
♪ As if she'd return my call ♪
♪ It's like, just kiss Some ass, man ♪
♪ Then you can screw 'em all ♪
-♪ (ALL VOCALIZING) ♪ -♪ (MUSIC BUILDS) ♪
-♪ It's the bitch of living ♪ -(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING, CHEERING)
CHORUS: ♪ It's the bitch of living ♪
-♪ And living in your head ♪ -♪ In your head ♪
-♪ It's the bitch ♪ -♪ Of living ♪
♪ And sensing God is dead ♪
-♪ It's the bitch of living ♪ -♪ You watch me, just watch me ♪
♪ And trying to get ahead ♪
MELCHIOR: ♪ I'm calling and one day ♪
-♪ It's the bitch of living ♪ -♪ And just getting out of bed ♪
-♪ All will know ♪ -♪ It's the bitch of living Living, living ♪
-♪ And getting what you get ♪ -♪ All will know ♪
-♪ Just the bitch of living ♪ -♪ And knowing this is it ♪
♪ God, is this it? ♪
♪ This can't be it ♪
♪ Oh, God, what a bitch ♪
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING, CHEERING)
The Lincoln Center concert was a complete dog of a night.
TOM HULCE: It occurred to Michael and I, who were,
you know, standing towards the back, that something
was very wrong in the room and, like, it was clear
that there wasn't a connection happening,
and we realized
that nobody could find who was singing
because by the time they found the person,
somebody else was singing.
There was not a laugh.
No one really knew what the hell was going on.
TOM: It became clear that we were possibly
at a disastrous experience...
(LAUGHS) ...that we had put together.
And then about 25 minutes later, a 15-year-old girl sang
"The Dark I Know Well."
Suddenly all the focus just went... (EXHALES)
♪ ("THE DARK I KNOW WELL" BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING ) ♪
Martha, time for bed now.
♪ There is a part I can't tell ♪
♪ About the dark I know well ♪
Martha, darling, put on that new nightgown,
the pretty ruffled one your father bought you.
She has this secret that she can never share.
♪ Time for bed now, child ♪
♪ Mom just smiles That smile... ♪
It's about having a wall up
to be able to survive.
♪ Just like she never saw me ♪
♪ So I leave Wanting just to hide ♪
♪ Knowing deep inside ♪
♪ You are coming to me ♪
LILLI: Her father is molesting her,
and her mother is accepting that.
♪ You say all you want Is just a kiss goodnight ♪
♪ Then you hold me ♪
♪ And you whisper "Child, the Lord won't mind" ♪
♪ It's just you and me ♪
♪ Child, you're a beauty ♪
♪ God, it's good, the lovin' ♪
♪ Ain't it good tonight? ♪
♪ You ain't seen nothing yet Gonna treat you right ♪
♪ It's just you and me ♪
♪ Child, you're a beauty ♪
LILLI: Martha sings, then Ilse sings.
And it was a terrifying realization
that there are countless women and girls going through this.
♪ I don't scream Though I know it's wrong ♪
♪ I just play along ♪
♪ I lie there and breathe ♪
♪ Lie there and breathe ♪
♪ I want to be strong I want the world to find out ♪
♪ That you're dreaming on me ♪
♪ Me and my beauty ♪
-♪ Me and my beauty ♪ -♪ Me and my beauty ♪
♪ You say all you want Is just a kiss goodnight ♪
♪ Then you hold me And you whisper ♪
♪ Child, the Lord won't mind ♪
♪ It's just you and me... ♪
LAUREN: That is so many fuckin' people's reality.
I had that happen to me when I was a child
by a family member.
And I was very, very young.
I was four years old till I was eight years old.
And singing about it is fucking weird. (CHUCKLES)
♪ Child, you're a beauty ♪
♪ There's a part I can't tell ♪
♪ About the dark I know well ♪
♪ There's a part I can't tell ♪
♪ About the dark I know well ♪
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
After Lincoln Center, we simultaneously
had this sense of like, "Yes, we're going to go to Broadway,
and this is gonna be the best thing ever."
And then like, uh, like "What are we doing?"
And I thought, "Oh well, you know what?
We did our best, right?"
Except, Neil Pepe from the Atlantic Theater Company
and Ira Pittelman, who's an independent producer,
were there that night.
The two of them liked it.
And so out of what was frankly a fairly catastrophic evening
for me and Tom, came an opportunity.
-At that point, we were all systems go. -♪ (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
TOM: Once we knew the Atlantic was gonna give us a home,
we cast these young people
from all across the United States.
MICHAEL: Lea came in. She was 14.
She had three Broadway shows to her credit.
She had this astonishing voice,
and we fell instantly in love with her.
But it wasn't like a done deal. So she worked her ass off.
I was so concerned with doing good
and making Michael happy. It's like all I wanted.
TOM: Jonathan, he had been on a tour of The Sound of Music.
Jonathan Groff was, to my mind, a chorus boy.
JONATHAN: I came into the audition and the callbacks
as the wild card Melchior. I was the last one on the list.
When we first met Lauren, she took off her shoes
and stood barefoot and opened her mouth and, like,
blew us away.
JOHN: I went and auditioned. I was really nervous.
I didn't have any formal vocal training.
I got a final callback,
and then I walked out of my final callback
because I had such tremendous stage fright.
But I turned back around and I went back up,
and then I got the part.
LILLI: I was 15 when I was cast in the show.
I was in school during the day,
and then doing homework
in between school and the show at night.
MICHAEL: These kids, they were in high school, you know,
Remi and Gerard were tutored while we were doing this.
For a lot of them, it was their first real professional gig.
They were amazing and brilliant.
And then we did rehearsals,
and then we opened at the Atlantic.
LEA: The Atlantic Theater was this hidden gem.
It was a church. And the eeriness of that
and just those old walls and, um, the old brick.
There's just something about that space
that I think blessed us, truly.
♪ ("TOUCH ME" BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING) ♪
-MELCHIOR: ♪ Touch me ♪ -CHORUS: ♪ All silent ♪
-MELCHIOR: ♪ All silent ♪ -CHORUS: ♪ Baby, just tell me ♪
MELCHIOR: ♪ Tell me please... ♪
JOHN: That was really where I think we all really became friends,
and we became a family.
MELCHIOR: ♪ Consume my wine... ♪
It was a cauldron of hormones
and excitement and dreams of success.
It was like the coolest thing. I was with these cool kids.
JONATHAN: We were going to dinners together.
We were doing this show.
It was like this summer camp of all summer camp experiences.
MICHAEL: There was a big...
I don't even know what you'd call it,
mattress or pile of cushions or something.
And they were just all piled on top of each other all the time.
-CHORUS: ♪ Touch me ♪ -GEORG: ♪ Oh, oh ♪
-CHORUS: ♪ Just try it ♪ -GEORG: ♪ Just, just try it ♪
-CHORUS: ♪ Now that's it ♪ -GEORG: ♪ Now there that's it ♪
♪ Oh God, that's heaven Touch me ♪
-♪ I'll love your light ♪ -♪ Oh, I'll love you right ♪
♪ We'll wander down ♪
♪ Where the sins cry ♪
-♪ Touch me ♪ -♪ Oh ♪
♪ Just like that ♪
♪ Now lower down Where the sins cry ♪
-♪ Love me ♪ -♪ Oh, love me, yeah ♪
-♪ Just for a bit ♪ -♪ Ooh ♪
♪ We'll wander down ♪
♪ Where the winds sigh ♪
♪ Where the winds sigh... ♪
LEA: It was very intense.
If you were able to see Spring Awakening
at the Atlantic Theater,
you got to see something very special.
-Of course they will, yeah. -(ALL APPLAUD)
You could also back up, Lea.
You could back up, back up, back up,
♪ Where the winds sigh Where the winds sigh ♪
♪ Where the winds sigh ♪
And you could even sit if you want.
-And then, Melchi-- -LEA: For the applause.
Yes, sit for the applause and then enter.
LEA: When I first met Jonathan, I felt like I had to take him
-under my wing. -(CHUCKLES)
He was this country mouse, and I was this city mouse.
Jonathan came from the farm in Lancaster, Pennsylvania.
He had gel so hard in his hair, it was cement.
This is my favorite spot.
My private place for thinking.
-I'm sorry. (CHUCKLES) -No, no, please.
JONATHAN: I was so excited working with Lea.
So...
(SMACKS LIPS) How have you been doing-- fuck.
-(LAUGHS) -(AUDIENCE CHUCKLING)
JONATHAN: Lea had done Spring Awakening
since she was 14 years old, in workshops.
And her work was astounding.
Can't you sit for a moment?
When you lean back
against this oak and stare up at the clouds...
...you start to think hypnotic things.
-I have to get back before 5:00. -But when you lie here,
such a strange, wonderful peace settles over you.
-♪ (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -LEA: I wanted to help him.
I thought, "We'll become friends so that we can, you know,
make our characters believable, and then that'll be that."
♪ ("THE WORD OF YOUR BODY" BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING) ♪
♪ Don't feel a thing, you wish ♪
♪ Grasping at pearls With my fingertips ♪
But then I fell in love with him in more ways than one.
♪ Holding her hand Like some little tease ♪
♪ Haven't you heard The word of my wanting? ♪
♪ Oh, I'm gonna be wounded ♪
♪ Oh, I'm gonna be your wound ♪
♪ Oh, I'm gonna bruise you... ♪
JONATHAN: Lea and I were so young.
We were still figuring out who we were.
♪ Oh, you're gonna be My bruise... ♪
We were playing these parts, but we were working shit out
with each other.
♪ Just too unreal, all this ♪
♪ Watching his world Slip through my fist ♪
♪ Playing with her In your fantasies ♪
♪ Haven't you heard the word ♪
♪ How I want you? ♪
♪ Oh, I'm gonna be wounded ♪
♪ Oh, I'm gonna be your wound ♪
♪ Oh, I'm gonna bruise you ♪
♪ Oh, you're gonna be My bruise ♪
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
STEVEN: That is about the bruise of love.
It's the anticipation of a wound in feeling desire, love.
These young people, in being drawn to one another,
what they sense is not just, "Oh, I wanna be with you,"
it's, "I'm gonna be wounded by you.
I'm gonna carry the wound of this desire,
carrying the bruise of love
-the rest of my life." -Please. Please, Wendla.
(LEA HUMMING)
MICHAEL: I think there's too much kissing.
I think that you've got nowhere to go then.
JONATHAN: Yeah.
Well, I think when we're really doing it,
it will be okay.
Lea and I were given this material
where we had to fall in love.
-I could do like this? -I say, "Melchior."
JONATHAN: Michael Mayer, here he is with these kids,
and he has to direct...
a like four-minute, incredibly detailed
and choreographed...
sex scene with children.
-Melchior. -MICHAEL: That's it. She can see it.
You don't have to--
-No, wait. No. -Right, exactly.
-I can't. We're not supposed to. -What?
But the first thing I felt was...
"They're gonna know I'm gay.
Fuck, I've never had sex with a girl, I'm in the closet.
I'm gonna just pretend like I know what I'm doing."
And then we kiss again.
And then I find the neck.
I wanted the choreography to tell me what to do
and give me the moves and allow me to express myself,
and thank God for Michael Mayer.
-Don't. -MICHAEL: Yes, but maybe take it away from your body.
-Don't. -MICHAEL: Yes. Exactly.
Please?
MICHAEL: I was aware he was gay,
but that's his own personal life,
and he'll deal with it
when it's time for him to deal with it.
And if he wants to talk to me, I'll be there for it.
JONATHAN: And then I'll come in here.
LEA: Mm-hmm.
And then I can come into here and you stop me.
Stop him again. Wait.
-Melchi, no, it's just, it's-- -What? Sinful?
JONATHAN: Coming from a religious background
surrounded by the Amish,
I felt... (INHALES SHARPLY)
...like, I felt...
ashamed of who I was.
(BOTH MOAN)
Melchi, no!
-I can't, we're not supposed to. -What?
I also, I guess, was afraid that if...
people knew who I was,
they wouldn't find what I was doing believable.
Not supposed to what?
Love?
I don't know. Is there such a thing?
JONATHAN: But Lea and I, we were grasping
onto each other. We were really in love.
I hear your heart.
♪ ("I BELIEVE" BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING) ♪
JONATHAN: I feel you breathing everywhere.
The rain, the hay.
LEA: I was so in love with him.
Finally, I cornered him at a party,
and I said to him, "Why don't you love me?
Just love me. Why can't you love me?
Like date me, love me?"
And I just saw this look in his eyes, and in that moment,
-I knew. -Please, Wendla.
CHORUS: ♪ I believe I believe, I believe ♪
♪ Oh, I believe ♪
-It's just that it's-- -What?
-Sinful? -No.
CHORUS: ♪ All will be forgiven I believe... ♪
-I don't know. -Then why?
CHORUS: ♪ I believe, I believe ♪
Because it's good?
Because it makes us feel something?
CHORUS: ♪ All will be forgiven ♪
♪ I believe, I believe, I believe ♪
♪ Oh, I believe ♪
♪ There is love in heaven ♪
♪ I believe, I believe I believe ♪
-Don't be scared. -CHORUS: ♪ Oh, I believe... ♪
LEA: I realized in that moment, this is deep.
And, um...
and I need to, like, protect this.
This is intense. (SNIFFLES)
And I never asked him ever again about his sexuality,
and it was sort of this-- I think he felt safe with me
because he knew that I knew,
and we could be best friends.
And our relationship just grew and grew
to the point where we would do the show
and then we would go home together.
-♪ There is love in heaven ♪ -♪ All will be forgiven ♪
-Wait! -It's just me.
♪ There is love in heaven... ♪
Just me.
♪ There is love in heaven ♪
-♪ I believe ♪ -♪ All will be forgiven ♪
♪ There is love in heaven ♪
Now there!
-♪ All will be forgiven ♪ -♪ I believe... ♪
-Now that's... -Yes?
(MOANS) Yes.
♪ There is love in heaven ♪
-♪ Peace and joy be with them ♪ -♪ All will be forgiven ♪
-♪ Harmony and wisdom ♪ -♪ All will be forgiven ♪
♪ Peace and joy be with them ♪
♪ Harmony and wisdom ♪
-WENDLA: Melchior! (GASPS) -CHORUS: ♪ Oh, I believe ♪
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
LEA: That's why Jonathan and I became so close.
We were so intertwined.
♪ (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
JONATHAN: We made out so hard in this play.
We would have like sweat,
and snot was coming out of my nostril,
and saliva, and tongues and mouths.
Lea's like, eat-- her like mouth is on top of my mouth.
LEA: We were so close.
At one point, I literally showed him my whole vagina.
(LAUGHS) I can confirm that.
(CHUCKLES) He was like, "I've never seen
a woman's vagina before.
Would you show me?" And I was like, "Sure."
In particular, I was interested in like
the-- the, like, geography
of the different parts, because I always thought
that the clitoris was like... (LAUGHS)
...like right above the vagina hole.
And I took a desk lamp.
And she took a fucking desk lamp.
And showed him. That's how close we are.
I didn't realize it was so far north.
And now I know. (LAUGHS)
Does that explain it? (LAUGHS)
I love that she told you that, oh my God.
But I have never seen Jonathan naked.
I've never seen his penis.
JONATHAN: That summer at the Atlantic Theater
was also very pressure filled.
I have a vivid memory
being in tech, on the hayloft with Lea,
we're like half naked on the swing,
and Ira Pittelman and Tom Hulce are having a fight.
And Ira Pittelman is saying, "We cannot do this on a stage.
We're gonna, like, get arrested."
And Tom Hulce saying, "This is what the show is.
We can't not do this.
This is what Spring Awakening is about."
TOM: People called up and said, "You cannot do this material."
Everybody was just freaked out.
MICHAEL: Spring Awakening was gonna be my last play.
I was done with the theater. Done with New York.
I was gonna move to L.A.
So I was gonna do it my way no matter what,
and I didn't give a fuck what anyone said.
TOM: We did a huge amount of work.
A song went in, a song went out.
It was like the audience
was awakening to the show
at the same time the actors were discovering
what it was they were doing.
STEVEN: People were really moved.
They were standing up.
They might have understood what was going on.
(LAUGHING) But they were touched by this show, you know.
♪ ("AND THEN THERE WERE NONE" BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING) ♪
JONATHAN: The first time the New York Times came,
Michael put like sage all over the theater.
Michael went back to the dressing room
and just said to the cast...
"The future of this is in your hands."
And that night, something happened in that theater
that I had never experienced before.
And it's like the entire building levitated
and demanded to be in a bigger place.
In The New York Times, Charles Isherwood gave us
a fantastic review.
People started coming.
There were lines around the block to get in.
♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh Well, fine ♪
♪ Not like it's even Worth the time ♪
♪ But still, you know You wanted more ♪
♪ Sorry, it won't change Been there before ♪
JOHN: I was like, "Wow, this is exciting."
The lines getting longer for tickets every night,
and our run keeps extending,
and we're getting standing ovations now
at the end of Act Two. That didn't happen before.
♪ The thing that sucks Okay for me ♪
♪ A thousand bucks I'm like scot-free ♪
♪ And I mean, please That's all I need ♪
♪ Get real, okay By now, you know the score ♪
Then all the fancy people started coming down.
David Byrne wants to come to the show.
Lou Reed and Laurie Anderson are there.
Keanu Reeves is like, you know, hanging out.
And that was a very fun summer. (CHUCKLES)
♪ You wanna laugh It's too absurd ♪
♪ You start to ask Can't hear a word ♪
♪ You wanna crash and burn Right, tell me more ♪
CHRISTINE ESTABROOK: Still, Herr Stiefel,
one thing in your letter disturbed me.
Your... What shall we call it?
Veiled threat, that should escape
not be possible, you would take your own life?
TOM: The controversial nature of this story
meant that we never thought about Broadway.
We-- Like, how could you?
STEVEN: Moving the show to Broadway
seemed to make no sense. We had no advance sales.
We were selling out a 200-seat theater,
but how were we gonna fill a thousand seats?
We were campaigning for that.
"We," being, like...
(LAUGHING) Me. And Duncan, probably.
JOHN: They called us in early one day.
And that certainly was like some alarms were going off,
like, "Wait a minute, what?
Why does Tom and Ira want to talk?"
You know, it's like, "Are we getting in trouble for something?"
♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh Well, fine ♪
♪ Not like it's even Worth the time ♪
♪ But still, you know You wanted more... ♪
And they said, "We just want to tell you that, you know,
we're gonna be moving to Broadway in the fall."
♪ You wanna laugh It's too absurd ♪
♪ You start to ask Can't hear a word ♪
-♪ You're gonna crash and burn ♪ -♪ Right, tell me more ♪
♪ You start to cave You start to cry ♪
♪ You try to run Nowhere to hide ♪
♪ You wanna crumble up And close that door ♪
There were tears. People were jumping for joy and shouting.
It was totally, totally surreal.
♪ Just fuck it, right? Enough, that's it ♪
♪ You'll still go on Well, for a bit ♪
♪ Another day of utter shit ♪
♪ And then there were none... ♪
My lifetime dream had come true.
A thing... (SNIFFLES) ...I never thought
could come true was coming true.
♪ And then there were none And then there were none ♪
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
LEA: We were all really afraid
that the grandness of the Eugene O'Neill
wouldn't be able to hold that precious...
that it would go away, that energy.
MICHAEL: I was really freaked out about the concept
of moving it to Broadway.
I thought that was a mistake, actually.
I never thought of this as a Broadway show,
quite frankly, but we all went into it
with every digit crossed, and it really didn't start well.
♪ ("TOTALLY FUCKED" BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING) ♪
JONATHAN: I was in my dressing room at the Eugene O'Neill.
And I said, "Michael, I've never had
a dressing room before, to myself.
This is like-- I don't know how I'm going to decorate it."
And he was like, "Honey,
I wouldn't decorate this dressing room.
I don't think we're gonna be here for very long.
Don't get too excited." And on Broadway,
we couldn't sell half of the house.
♪ There's a moment you know ♪
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
♪ You're fucked ♪
♪ Not an inch more room To self-destruct ♪
DUNCAN: It was an 1100 seat house,
and when we were in previews,
we were playing to 300 people a night.
I mean, Tom and Ira were losing money big time.
It was a disaster.
♪ Man, you're fucked If you just freeze up ♪
♪ Can't do that thing... ♪
The stage manager said, "Hey, everyone, so...
you're gonna see a lot of purple velvet out there.
The seats were purple velvet.
Just remember that when you see the empty house.
♪ Yeah, you're fucked All right... ♪
We really thought we were gonna close right after we opened.
♪ You can kiss Your sorry ass goodbye ♪
♪ Totally fucked Will they mess you up? ♪
♪ Well, you know They're gonna try ♪
♪ Blah, blah, blah Blah, blah, blah, blah ♪
♪ Blah, blah, blah, blah Blah, blah, blah ♪
We spent months holding each other
and hoping that it was gonna last.
We opened in December.
March came around, April came around.
We started losing an audience,
and it was a lot of purple velvet.
-♪ Wanna bundle up ♪ -(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
♪ With some big-ass lie ♪
♪ Long enough for them To watch us quit ♪
♪ Long enough for you To get out of it ♪
MICHAEL: We didn't do real business
until the Tony Award nominations came out.
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER) -JONATHAN: I remember really understanding
the purpose of the Tonys is to sell your show.
And so, the night before the Tony nominations came out,
Lea and I during the show, in our costumes,
in the second act, went to the church,
the Actors' Chapel across the street.
LEA: And I was like, you know,
"Please, God, please help us tomorrow
with the Tony nominations," and blah, blah, blah.
And the next thing you know, I look over
and Jonathan has his wallet,
and he takes out like a 50-dollar bill, and he places
in the donation box.
And I was like, "I didn't bring any money.
You're giving money to the church?"
And she still is so pissed that like I put more money in
and that's what got me a Tony nomination.
Sure enough, he got nominated and I didn't.
Jonathan Groff, Spring Awakening.
I leapt out of my skin.
I couldn't believe that our show got so many nominations.
Spring Awakening got 11 nominations.
JOHN: The next thing I knew was just my phone vibrating,
just text message after text message.
-The Tonys were so crazy. -(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
And the Tony Award goes to John Gallagher Jr.
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
It was an amazing night. And it was an out of body night.
We kept being back on stage again and again.
-Spring Awakening, Steven Sater. -(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
Spring Awakening, music by Duncan Sheik, lyrics Steven Sater!
-Spring Awakening. -Spring Awakening.
ANGELA LANSBURY: And the Tony Award
for Best Musical, Spring Awakening.
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
We won eight Tonys.
-Yes! -(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
♪ Yeah, you're fucked all right And all for spite ♪
♪ You can kiss Your sorry ass goodbye ♪
♪ Totally fucked Will it mess you up? ♪
♪ Well, you know They're gonna try ♪
♪ Blah, blah, blah, blah Blah, blah, blah, blah ♪
♪ Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah ♪
♪ Blah, blah, blah, blah Blah, blah, blah, blah ♪
♪ Blah, blah, blah, blah ♪
Whoo!
♪ Blah, blah, blah, blah Blah, blah, blah, blah ♪
-♪ Blah, blah, blah, blah ♪ -(LAUGHTER)
♪ Blah, blah, blah, blah Blah, blah, blah, blah ♪
♪ Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah ♪
♪ Totally fucked! ♪
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
MICHAEL: Spring Awakening without the Tony Awards
would have gone away.
After the Tony Awards, just sold out,
and the audience was going crazy.
It was so intense. (CHUCKLES) It was so crazy.
People screaming and shouting.
LEA: We became one of those Broadway shows
that people became really obsessed with.
We became rock stars.
From one of Broadway's most talked-about new musicals,
please welcome the cast of Spring Awakening.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
♪ ("THE BITCH OF LIVING" PLAYING) ♪
♪ God, I dreamed There was an angel ♪
♪ Who could hear me Through the wall ♪
I was like, "Oh, okay.
I guess it's a hit. I guess it's a rave."
It was just incredible.
We had these massive stage door experiences
where we would have just like fans lined the block.
The thing I remember the most was the kind of thankfulness
that these kids had for us every night.
I had people telling me like, "I relate to Moritz,
I go through the same thing."
And me being able to say, "Guess what? I did too."
People wanted my hair.
They wanted to sit in the front row
so that they could get spit on by Jonathan Groff.
I was spitting in programs, and there was like...
people giving us dolls and people...
giving us like portraits, painted portraits of ourselves.
-It was crazy. -(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
From the hit Broadway show, Spring Awakening...
...to the cast of the Broadway smash hit, Spring Awakening.
ROSIE O'DONNELL: This little boy, Jonathan.
(CHUCKLES)
I think you're a young Tom Hanks who can sing.
Puberty, masturbation, sadomasochism...
It's definitely a thrill.
How long have you been working on this project?
I've been working on Spring Awakening now
-for seven years. -For seven years!
-ANCHOR 1: I like it a lot. -ANCHOR 2: Can I--
-Oh, yeah. Absolutely, please. -(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
Spring Awakening takeover starts...
ALL: Right now!
-Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah -Blah, blah, blah, blah
By December of the next year,
we're all in this national GAP ad
in the middle of fucking Times Square.
It was just like, what is happening?
What is going on?
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING) -MICHAEL: It was a hit.
And I was like, "Oh, shit, now I have to stay and do more."
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Like, the first couple of times we had a full audience,
I just found it so disarming.
JONATHAN: Peter McManus Café was the place
that we used to go to after the show and get loaded.
And I was like, "Wait a minute."
GIDEON GLICK: Spring Awakening brought me to New York.
It opened, like, all the doors.
At the time I didn't really understand what it was.
But looking back,
it was completely transformative.
She's on a show that Gideon's on now.
I look back on Spring Awakening all these years later
with such a fondness.
It was such a formidable time in all of our careers and lives.
Oh yeah, that was opening night.
Opening night, chipped his tooth on the microphone.
To be an adult and revisit this material,
it's so special. And actually it means
so much more now than it did then.
I had my Spring Awakening during the show.
Like, I really learned so much about my own body
and about my sexuality through the entire experience.
I never really felt self-conscious
about my body after that.
Whenever I see the show, like, part of the thing that kills me
so much is like,
even though you're doing that dark shit,
there's still like at the end of the show,
this, like, hopefulness. It ends on this, like, thing
that you have when you're young
that we had 15 years ago that we don't have now.
It's like when you see seven-year-olds skiing
down a hill fearless.
Exactly, yes.
JOHN: If I got offered a part with this arc today,
I might pass just because I might think,
-I don't know if I can... -LILLI: Sustain it?
...go through that every night. You know? But at the time
I didn't-- I really didn't see it that way.
♪ ("DON'T DO SADNESS" PLAYING) ♪
♪ Awful sweet To be a little butterfly ♪
Moritz starts flunking out of his grade
and his dad makes it quite clear that he will be entirely shunned
by his family if he can't get his grades up.
♪ Nothing going, going wild In you, you know ♪
♪ You're slowing By the riverside... ♪
JOHN: It's a breaking point for Moritz.
And he thinks, "I don't see any way out of this."
♪ Or maybe cool to be A little summer wind... ♪
JOHN: I've always really related to Moritz.
I don't know if it was undiagnosed ADD or what,
but I struggled at school.
(CHUCKLING) And I struggle with anxiety
and depression as much as anybody.
And in a sense, every night was a chance for me to say,
"It does get better. It does get easier.
You know, if you can hang in there."
♪ 'Cause you know ♪
♪ (MUSIC INTENSIFIES) ♪
♪ I don't do sadness Not even a little bit ♪
♪ Just don't need it in my life I don't want any part of it ♪
♪ I don't do sadness ♪
♪ Hey, I've done my time ♪
♪ Looking back on it all Man, it blows my mind ♪
♪ 'Cause I don't do sadness I've so been there ♪
♪ Don't do sadness I just don't care ♪
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
-Moritz Stiefel? -MORITZ: Oh, Ilse! (CHUCKLES)
You frightened me.
Did you lose something?
Why did you frighten me? Damn it! (CHUCKLES)
JOHN: His friend Ilse, who has been shunned
by the community, offers this life raft
of saying, like, "Come with me, it's not that bad,"
like, "We could find our way together."
♪ ("BLUE WIND" BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING) ♪
♪ Spring and summer ♪
♪ Every other day ♪
♪ Blue wind gets so sad ♪
♪ Blowing through The thick corn ♪
♪ Through the bales of hay ♪
♪ Through the open books On the grass ♪
♪ Spring and summer ♪
♪ Sure, when it's autumn ♪
♪ Wind always wants to Creep up and haunt you... ♪
She was saying, "This is life.
This is just life, this is where we are.
Some days it's hard
and some days it's really beautiful.
This one's harder than the other ones.
But this is just another-- It's just another day,
I promise. It'll be fine."
And he's like, "No. I don't do the autumn.
I don't do it at all.
I'm not doing it. I don't wanna do it."
-♪ 'Cause you know ♪ -♪ Spring and summer ♪
-♪ I don't do sadness ♪ -♪ Every other day ♪
-♪ Not even a little bit ♪ -♪ Blue wind gets so lost ♪
-♪ I don't need it in my life ♪ -♪ Through the thick corn Through the bales of hay ♪
-♪ I don't want any part of it ♪ -♪ Spring and summer ♪
-♪ I don't do sadness ♪ -♪ Every other day ♪
-♪ Hey, I've done my time ♪ -♪ Blue wind gets so lost ♪
-♪ Looking back on it all Man, it blows my mind ♪ -♪ Blowin' through thick corn ♪
-♪ And the bales of hay ♪ -♪ I don't do sadness ♪
-♪ So been there ♪ -♪ Through the Wandering clouds of dust ♪
♪ I don't do sadness... ♪
-♪ Spring and summer ♪ -♪ I just don't care ♪
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES QUIETLY) ♪
Good night, Ilse.
Good night?
Well, walk me, at least.
Honestly... I wish I could.
JOHN: He has this missed connection with Ilse.
That's the final straw for him, is that
"Ugh, I had this opportunity, I missed it."
And he looks out at that one last sunset.
Ten minutes ago, you could see the entire horizon.
Now...
only the dusk.
The first few stars.
JOHN: The tragedy of Moritz is that
had he just been shown a little more love...
But he totally succumbs to
his fears of failing,
and he doesn't see any other way out.
It's so dark.
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
So dark.
♪ (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
For John Gallagher, to fucking commit suicide
every night, like it's just brutal.
It's hard. It's hard to play that role.
And do it with such grace and strength,
and he just did it.
He did it effortlessly, every day.
There would be a night where I would, you know,
cock the prop gun and put it in my mouth
and the lights would go out and I would go off stage
and just start sobbing and you know,
and collapse into Danny Paul's arms,
my dresser, you know.
And just cry in the dark while, you know,
the beginning of "Left Behind" was happening.
And then I would hear you start singing.
♪ ("LEFT BEHIND" BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING) ♪
♪ You fold his hands And smooth his tie ♪
♪ You gently lift his chin ♪
♪ Were you really so blind... ♪
STEVEN: Moritz has taken his life. His father's standing at the grave.
And Melchior articulates what a parent might feel
in losing a child.
♪ Now to close his eyes ♪
♪ Never open them ♪
♪ A shadow passed A shadow passed ♪
♪ Yearning... ♪
STEVEN: No matter how old you are,
you watch Spring Awakening
from the point of view of the children.
And then you see the parents and you think,
"Oh, wait, that's me."
Then you get to reflect on your own behavior.
♪ The talks you never had The Saturdays you never spent ♪
♪ All the grown-up places You never went ♪
♪ And all of the crying You wouldn't understand ♪
♪ You just let him cry Make a man out of him ♪
I knew that we were helping children
who were coming to see the show.
I know that there were boys in the audience
who felt like Moritz,
or Ernst and Hanschen in their hidden love, or...
struggling with depression, thoughts of suicide.
JONATHAN: This material saves lives.
Some girl wrote John Gallagher and said,
"I didn't kill myself because of your character
in the show."
LAUREN: Lilli and I, we would get messages
from young women that were like, "I've never told anyone this,
but I've been molested."
I mean, lots of letters.
I think that's kind of what got us through it every night.
Knowing how important it was to tell that story.
♪ Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ A shadow passed A shadow passed ♪
♪ Yearning, yearning For the fool... ♪
LEA: But I think our hope was to also make every parent
in the audience know what will happen
when you do not talk to your children
or let them be truly who they are meant to be.
♪ And it whistles through The ghost ♪
♪ Still left behind ♪
♪ It whistles through... ♪
LEA: I have a son, and hearing "Left Behind,"
you know, I just can't even imagine not being,
like, being there for my son like that or that he would ever
feel that kind of pain. (SNIFFLES)
It was-- That was very, very, very overwhelming for me...
(INHALES) ...that storyline.
♪ Oh ♪
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING, CHEERING)
LEA: Moritz's storyline was always a challenge
for all of us emotionally, and so we had to...
have an escape outside of playing these characters
and this intense subject matter.
We, of course, loved our show and loved playing our characters
but, like,
the real fun we had was offstage, together.
JULIE GROFF: They're coming out slowly
because they were up all night.
-(CHEERS) -JOHN: While we were on Broadway,
Jonathan Groff's mom picked us up in a school bus,
drove us down to Lancaster, Pennsylvania,
where John is from, and we had a campout.
-JULIE: We're home! -We're home!
The whole cast came to my family's farm in Pennsylvania.
JIM GROFF: What's your name?
-How ya doing? Good to meet you. -Good. How are you?
-Robby! -JULIE: Robby!
JONATHAN: And we slept out in tents.
Oh, my God, the farm was the worst time of my whole life.
I'm just not meant to sleep in a tent
with no bathroom.
I was like, "I have to just truly make Julie Groff believe
that I'm Jonathan's girlfriend, because if I do, she'll give me
an extra pillow and a blanket."
(INDISTINCT CLAMORING)
JOHN: We all ran outside, totally wild.
There was like a demolition derby car there
for some reason that we were all driving around in.
(ALL CHEERING)
And we had a bonfire, and we went swimming.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
LEA: One night, I woke up in the middle of the night
and I open up the tent,
and there is Gallagher and Jonathan butt naked.
I, like, quickly was like this to like block out their penises.
They were, like, so pale. I always tell Gallagher
that he was like glowing in the dark.
JOHN: She's like, "You were translucent..."
(LAUGHING) ...is the way that she describes
my scrawny nudity.
(CHUCKLES)
♪ ("MY JUNK" BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING) ♪
JOHN: It was like a victory lap.
It was the end of summer, fall was about to start.
Gideon was leaving. We didn't really know like,
what a-- what do cast changes mean for this thing, you know?
So, I just remember that that was like the ultimate
kind of steam valve.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
JONATHAN B. WRIGHT: We had a lot of fun,
maybe too much fun,
camaraderie that we shared and just the time that we had
it was a blast. (INHALES)
Ah, I look back on it really fondly.
♪ Well, you have to excuse me I know it's so off ♪
♪ I love when you do stuff That's rude and so wrong ♪
♪ I go to my room Turn the stereo on ♪
♪ Shoot up some you In the "you" of some song ♪
♪ I lie back just driftin' And play out these scenes ♪
♪ I ride on the rush All the hopes and the dreams ♪
♪ I may be neglecting the things I should do ♪
-♪ We've all got our junk ♪ -♪ And my junk is you ♪
♪ Yes, yes! ♪
CHORUS: ♪ See we still Keep talkin' after you're gone ♪
♪ You're still with me Then feels so good in my arms ♪
♪ They say you go blind Stop, maybe it's true ♪
♪ We've got our junk, yeah Our junk, and my junk is you ♪
-♪ We've all got our junk ♪ -♪ And my junk is you ♪
♪ My junk is you ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
There's just like the best memories.
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING) -Truly. (LAUGHS)
This is Lea Michele.
-Hi! -She plays Wendla
-in Spring Awakening. -You're catching me
before I put my wig cap on, which is really good.
-Which is good... -(LAUGHS)
-...because you're beautiful. -(LAUGHS)
You're beautiful with or without your wig cap on.
LEA: Thanks.
We felt like just the coolest kids
-on the block. -(CHUCKLES) Oh, look who it is.
-Oh, look. -This is Skylar.
Now, how do you get your hair
to curl like it does in the show?
Why, I'll tell you, Jonathan. Rat tail comb.
Part it perfectly in the center.
Two different kinds of hairsprays.
JONATHAN: Having each other was the most meaningful thing.
This actually is one of my favorite pictures
of the cast.
JONATHAN: The success of the show,
it never went to our heads.
JONATHAN: Over here is a picture of Amish country
for me to remember my roots.
JOHN: We all kind of cherished that summer.
It was really special. And we were all so close.
Oh, look at you with your guitar.
Here we are, just happened
to be here sitting there waiting for some company.
So, what part of like the pre-show process
are you at right now?
Right now, I'm in the slacking off process,
-which is where it's, uh... -(JONATHAN LAUGHS)
We're coming up on 7:30, which is our half hour.
JOHN: I was one of the older cast members.
I was the first of the three leads
to leave the show. I did it for a year
on Broadway and in December of 2007
I had my final show coming up.
So, we devised a plan,
I don't remember if it was Lea's idea,
or it was Jonathan Groff's idea.
But what we're gonna do is we're gonna sneak
into the theater and have a sleepover.
I can't express to you how illegal and unheard of
it is to sleep over at a theater.
There was gonna be no light. We brought candles,
we brought alcohol, we brought food.
JOHN: At the end of the night, there's a doorman that checks
every dressing room to make sure that they're empty.
LEA: We had to hide under the desk
for about two hours.
We all peed our pants. We got so scared.
And then we heard the front door just...
and the power went... (EXHALES) ...boom.
JOHN: We just went wild. We ran out onto the stage.
JONATHAN: And we put out a picnic on the stage.
We had wine.
We told our biggest secrets and stayed up all night long.
JONATHAN: I really remember Lea saying,
she was like, "I would give up this... whole experience
for this connection that we have."
I told him I would take it all back just to know you,
just to have you in my life.
JONATHAN: For her to say that has always stuck with me
and we've always had each other's backs.
CHRISTINE: Wendla, what have you done?
-Wendla! -I... I don't know.
You're going to have a child.
A child?
-But I am not married. -Precisely.
LEA: Getting to play Wendla for all those years
was emotionally and physically exhausting.
(INHALES) Why didn't you tell me everything?
In Act One, the beating scene was so hard.
My entire life, I've never felt...
-What? -...anything!
Wendla asks Melchior to beat her.
How can you even want a thing like that?
Please, Melchior?
LEA: She only just is getting closer and closer
and closer to...
feeling something, which is all she wants.
Please.
I'll teach you to say "please." (GRUNTS)
I got beaten every day and sometimes twice.
(CHUCKLES)
You're barely stroking me.
-How's that then? -(GROANS)
-I really didn't enjoy it. -How's that?
-Nothing! (GRUNTS) -You bitch,
I'll beat the hell out of you.
And some nights he would actually...
accidentally whip me and I would scream.
-(GRUNTS) -(WENDLA SCREAMS, PANTS)
LEA: I played a character who dies
from a sketchy abortion.
-WENDLA: Mama? -I'll be there with you
-every moment. -Mama, don't leave me.
Mama! Mama!
I came off stage one night. I had blood,
literal-- I had blood from something, sweat and tears.
And I just said to Jonathan,
I said, "I can't do it anymore, I can't do it anymore.
You know, I just, I can't do this.
I can't be in this world anymore." (INHALES)
And he said, "Okay." He was like, "Let's leave."
And so, we left the show together.
-This is years in the making. -(SNIFFLES)
I can't believe I'm leaving Spring Awakening.
Years of wanting it and wanting it and wanting it.
(SNIFFLES) And now I'm finally saying goodbye.
(SNIFFLES) Thank you... (EXHALES) ...for...
being my family...
-(LEA CHUCKLING) -...and for continuing
-to be my family... (LAUGHS) -(LEA LAUGHS)
...after this is over. Thank you.
(ALL CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
♪ (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Moritz...
My old friend.
JONATHAN: At the very end of the show,
Melchior has been kicked out of school
and his friend killed himself.
"Here rests in God,
Wendla Berg..."
No! (PANTS)
He finds out that Wendla's dead.
(SCREAMS) No!
No! (SOBS)
-♪ ("THOSE YOU'VE KNOWN" BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING) ♪
(SOBBING)
MORITZ: ♪ Those you've known ♪
What?
♪ And lost still walk Behind you ♪
JONATHAN: And the initial voice of Moritz inspires him
to take the path that Moritz took.
♪ They linger Till they find you ♪
I've been a fool.
MORITZ: ♪ Without them ♪
♪ The world grows dark Around you ♪
♪ And nothing is the same ♪
♪ Until you know That they have found you ♪
Well, you had the right idea.
I'll scatter a little earth and thank their God.
JONATHAN: But then he thinks of Wendla.
♪ Those you've pained May carry that still with them ♪
Wendla?
JONATHAN: She didn't choose to kill herself.
♪ All forgiven Still your heart says ♪
♪ The shadows Bring the starlight ♪
♪ And everything You've ever been ♪
♪ Is still there In the dark night ♪
-♪ You know you've left them Far behind ♪ -♪ The northern wind blows ♪
JONATHAN: It is like the devil and the angel on your shoulder.
By the end of the song, he's decided that by living,
both of them will also live on.
-♪ We're still home ♪ -♪ There's a way through this ♪
♪ We're still home ♪
I think he learns what it means to love someone,
what it is to be wounded...
and how to go forward.
JONATHAN: Playing Melchior was like such a gift
because he was everything that I, like...
(EXHALES) ...pull it together. It was everything
that I wanted to be, but I wasn't.
He had this, like, ability to not let the world define him
and... and to speak his mind and to be...
strong. (CHUCKLES, INHALES)
I still struggle with this, obviously, with this...
and...
playing him for two years,
like, cultivated this confident, strong, side of myself
that I didn't have in my real life
that I was learning how to have by playing Melchior.
(INHALES) And to come to terms with who I was.
And a month after I left the show,
I came out of the closet, and I started my life.
♪ They call me Through all things ♪
♪ Night's falling But somehow on I go ♪
♪ You watch me, just watch me ♪
♪ I'm calling ♪
♪ From longing ♪
♪ Now they'll walk on my arm Through the distant night ♪
♪ And I won't let them stray From my heart ♪
♪ Through the wind Through the dark ♪
♪ Through the winter light ♪
♪ I will read all their dreams To the stars ♪
♪ I'll walk now with them ♪
-♪ Not gone ♪ -♪ Not gone ♪
-♪ I'll call on their names ♪ -♪ Not gone ♪
Jonathan said to me, "My roommate's not my roommate,
he's my boyfriend." And I said, "I know."
And he's like, "Okay, okay." He didn't say the word "gay."
And I was like, "Oh, my God, this is happening."
JONATHAN: It wasn't a quick transition.
It took a long time
to own my identity for the first time.
And then it felt like... (INHALES DEEPLY)
"Oh, thank God I'm this way. I'm so happy to be this way.
I wouldn't want to be any other way."
Through the show and through the opportunity
of getting to play this character,
I had grown this strength
that I didn't have anywhere else to put but in my own life,
and it changed my life.
♪ You watch me ♪
♪ Just watch me ♪
♪ I'm calling ♪
♪ And one day all will know ♪
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
I can say confidently, I would not have survived,
not one minute, let alone a day or three years,
of the experience if it wasn't for all of you.
All of you collectively.
All we had was each other. That was all we focused on.
And we didn't care about anything else.
And it-- Because nothing else mattered.
♪ ("THE SONG OF PURPLE SUMMER" BY DUNCAN SHEIK PLAYING) ♪
♪ A summer's day ♪
♪ A mother sings a song ♪
♪ Of purple summer ♪
♪ Of a world beyond her dreams ♪
♪ And heaven waits So close it seems ♪
♪ To show her child The wonders of a world ♪
♪ Beyond her dreams ♪
♪ The Earth will wave With corn ♪
♪ The day's so wide, so warm ♪
♪ And mares will neigh ♪
♪ With stallions That they mate ♪
♪ Foals they've born ♪
♪ And all shall know The wonder ♪
♪ Of Purple Summer ♪
I'm still asked to this day... a lot...
(CHUCKLES) ...what is a purple summer?
We all joke about, like,
what the fuck does "purple summer" mean?
I don't know. It's about sex, probably, you know.
(CHUCKLES, INHALES) I wish I knew.
It might be Steven's favorite color. I don't know.
I think they needed a two-syllable word.
I have no idea.
Purple is a sign of resurrection? Of rebirth?
So many of Stephen's lyrics are very purple. (CHUCKLES)
The purple to me is like the color of a bruise.
You see, they're carrying the bruise of love
into the summer ahead.
And it's the sunset flowering
into a new, you know, day, a new night, a new dawn.
♪ And so I wait ♪
♪ The swallow brings ♪
♪ A song of what's to follow ♪
♪ The glory of the spring ♪
♪ The fences sway ♪
♪ The porches swing ♪
♪ The clouds begin to thunder ♪
♪ Crickets wander, murmuring ♪
♪ The Earth will wave With corn ♪
♪ The day's so wide ♪
♪ So warm ♪
♪ And mares will neigh ♪
♪ With stallions That they mate ♪
♪ Foals they've born ♪
♪ And all shall know ♪
♪ The wonder ♪
♪ I will sing ♪
♪ The song of purple summer ♪
♪ All shall know the wonder ♪
♪ I will sing ♪
♪ The song of purple summer ♪
♪ And all shall know ♪
♪ The wonders Of purple summer ♪
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
STEVEN: The show changed every aspect of my life.
I learned that dreams can come true.
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
Holy shit.
Michael came up to Jonathan and I, and he was like,
"This is such hard material and you guys are brilliant
-at executing it." -It was the best ever.
And we were like, "We've been waiting 15 years
for you to say that to us."
Thank you. It was just an excuse to make out again.
MICHAEL: This reunion was not about Spring Awakening.
This was an opportunity to be with those kids
and see who they've become.
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER) -Thank you for everything.
-MICHAEL: Oh. -JOHN: We were so young.
None of us really knew what was in store for us
on a kind of personal level, or a professional level.
And we kind of came back and it was like,
"Wow, we've all been on these wild journeys,
-but we're home." -Is everybody ready to go?
-WOMAN: Yes. -JONATHAN: We have
this bond that we always had.
It was crystallized and clarified and rediscovered.
And we got to meet each other as adults,
-and it was so profound. -(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
LAUREN: The things we confront in this show are not things
you can learn in school. And they're important.
They're things that help people survive, and live,
and know that they have worth.
These stories will live on forever.
(CROWD CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
♪ (CELEBRATORY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
ALL: (SINGING ACAPELLA) ♪ Yeah, you're fucked all right And all for spite ♪
♪ You can kiss Your sorry ass goodbye ♪
♪ Totally fucked Will they mess you up? ♪
♪ Well, you know They're gonna try ♪
♪ (MUSIC BEGINS) ♪
♪ Blah, blah, blah, blah Blah, blah, blah, blah ♪
♪ Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah ♪
♪ Blah, blah, blah, blah Blah, blah, blah, blah ♪
♪ Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah ♪
♪ Blah, blah, blah, blah Blah, blah, blah, blah ♪
♪ Blah, blah, blah, blah ♪
♪ Blah, blah, blah, blah Blah, blah, blah, blah ♪
♪ Blah, blah, blah, blah ♪
♪ Totally fucked! ♪
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
♪ ("THE WORD OF YOUR BODY" PLAYING) ♪
WENDLA AND MELCHIOR: ♪ Just too unreal, all this ♪
WENDLA: ♪ Watching his world Slip through my fist ♪
MELCHIOR: ♪ Playing with her ♪
♪ In your fantasies ♪
BOTH: ♪ Haven't you heard The word, how I want you? ♪
♪ Oh, I'm gonna be wounded ♪
♪ Oh, I'm gonna be your wound ♪
♪ Oh, I'm gonna bruise you ♪
♪ Oh, you're gonna Be my bruise ♪
(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)