1 00:00:00,375 --> 00:00:01,666 This movie is a pamphlet. 2 00:00:01,750 --> 00:00:04,416 We do not condone vices such as drug or alcohol use. 3 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 4 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 5 00:00:25,958 --> 00:00:30,416 A 100% FICTIONAL STORY INSPIRED BY 100 TRUE STORIES 6 00:01:20,333 --> 00:01:23,875 Yes, Mom, we broke up! We just weren't compatible. 7 00:01:23,958 --> 00:01:28,000 She wanted kids, and I… Just that, she wanted kids. 8 00:01:28,750 --> 00:01:32,000 Mom, to own my own house, I need to buy it first. 9 00:01:32,083 --> 00:01:34,625 And a child holds you back in your career. 10 00:01:35,375 --> 00:01:38,333 Exactly! That's what I said. 11 00:01:38,416 --> 00:01:42,541 When I'm project manager, I'll give you grandkids. 12 00:01:42,625 --> 00:01:44,375 Bro, do you have one Leu? 13 00:01:44,458 --> 00:01:46,333 -What's that? -Some money. 14 00:01:46,416 --> 00:01:48,333 -Do you have Revolut? -What's that? 15 00:01:48,416 --> 00:01:51,541 How do you expect me to help you if you don't help yourself? 16 00:01:54,041 --> 00:01:56,625 Welcome to FU Global! 17 00:01:57,875 --> 00:01:58,958 I got it. 18 00:02:01,083 --> 00:02:06,375 I have to hang up, I'm late for work. Yes, I went to the doctor. 19 00:02:08,041 --> 00:02:09,791 No, I'm fine. 20 00:02:10,583 --> 00:02:11,958 It's nothing serious. 21 00:02:12,041 --> 00:02:15,583 The doctor said I might be suffering from anxiety. 22 00:02:16,500 --> 00:02:18,083 No! 23 00:02:18,166 --> 00:02:20,291 -Gina, how are the kids? -They got measles. 24 00:02:20,375 --> 00:02:22,208 Good! Wonderful! 25 00:02:22,291 --> 00:02:25,333 It's the excuse of the century, not a disease. I'm fine. 26 00:02:25,416 --> 00:02:29,458 -How's the bossman? -Don't jinx it till it's certain! 27 00:02:31,541 --> 00:02:34,458 Don't know when I'll visit. Kisses! 28 00:02:36,916 --> 00:02:39,958 Mom, I have seven people who depend on me, I need to… 29 00:02:42,250 --> 00:02:43,791 Morning! 30 00:02:43,875 --> 00:02:47,791 -Where is everyone? -Half smoking, half drinking coffee. 31 00:02:50,541 --> 00:02:53,208 What about the Black Friday summer campaign? 32 00:02:53,291 --> 00:02:56,041 -Two! -Waiting on you. 33 00:02:58,500 --> 00:03:01,291 -Spira Bank offer? -Waiting on you. 34 00:03:04,708 --> 00:03:08,708 -And you? What do you think we should do? -Whatever you think. 35 00:03:12,333 --> 00:03:14,500 Diana, what the fudge are you doing? 36 00:03:14,583 --> 00:03:18,333 -Looking for espadrilles. Are you blind? -Can't you do that after six? 37 00:03:18,416 --> 00:03:22,333 -After six is my free time. -You think it's okay to do this at work? 38 00:03:23,041 --> 00:03:26,333 This isn't work, it's just a job. I'm not a laborer. 39 00:03:33,666 --> 00:03:36,125 Let me take this garbage out. 40 00:03:38,416 --> 00:03:42,750 -You took it out already. It's empty. -Empty or not, I have to change it. 41 00:03:42,833 --> 00:03:46,375 -You want people to say I'm not working? -Put the bag back. 42 00:03:46,458 --> 00:03:48,166 I took it out already. 43 00:03:48,250 --> 00:03:51,875 -It's still a bag! -It's garbage now. 44 00:03:53,458 --> 00:03:56,083 Do you want Ms. Nico to give me a bad report? 45 00:03:56,166 --> 00:03:59,541 No one will pick on you. You're the only one working here. 46 00:03:59,625 --> 00:04:02,875 And with a broken arm. You're afraid of Nicoleta now? 47 00:04:03,833 --> 00:04:05,958 -Morning. -Morning. 48 00:04:06,041 --> 00:04:09,875 The team building is in three weeks and we're not fully booked. 49 00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:13,500 Because for the past three years, the Cluj division keeps beating us? 50 00:04:13,583 --> 00:04:17,541 That's why Mr. Oprea wants us to win this year. 51 00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:21,333 'Happiness Cup'. Sounds great. I'll email you about it. 52 00:04:22,666 --> 00:04:24,833 You already said that last week. 53 00:04:24,916 --> 00:04:31,375 Kind reminder, last week I sent an email with AI solutions to reduce expenses. 54 00:04:32,083 --> 00:04:33,750 And I told you I'll email you. 55 00:04:35,166 --> 00:04:38,333 Kind reminder, today we're getting the evaluation reports. 56 00:04:38,416 --> 00:04:40,958 -Good luck! -Thanks! 57 00:04:41,041 --> 00:04:42,708 -Wait up! Nico! -Yes! 58 00:04:42,791 --> 00:04:44,375 -Do you hate me? -No! 59 00:04:44,458 --> 00:04:47,208 -Honestly now! -Of course not! 60 00:04:48,625 --> 00:04:50,833 When did you get here? 61 00:04:52,833 --> 00:04:58,875 -Do you think they're doing it? -Mr. Emil, how can you say that? 62 00:04:58,958 --> 00:05:02,791 Mr. Oprea only screws the girls in accounting. 63 00:05:04,583 --> 00:05:09,083 -And Nicoleta? -Nicoleta is HR. She screws all of us. 64 00:05:10,125 --> 00:05:16,000 Mr. Emil, you know what your problem is? You work too much. 65 00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:16,916 THE COOLEST BOSS 66 00:05:17,583 --> 00:05:21,291 You're a smart guy. But your problem is that you work too much. 67 00:05:23,583 --> 00:05:25,083 And that's a problem? 68 00:05:25,166 --> 00:05:27,541 I just told you it's a problem. Are you stupid? 69 00:05:27,625 --> 00:05:28,875 Nico! 70 00:05:28,958 --> 00:05:30,291 -Is he stupid? -Yes, boss! 71 00:05:30,375 --> 00:05:32,125 I just told him he's smart. 72 00:05:32,208 --> 00:05:33,916 -Are you stupid? -Yes, boss! 73 00:05:36,583 --> 00:05:37,875 'He doesn't get teamwork. 74 00:05:37,958 --> 00:05:40,916 Puts too much pressure. Sends emails at 8:00 PM.' 75 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:44,333 We should work harder. It's Black Friday, the summer edition. 76 00:05:44,416 --> 00:05:46,375 Do you even know what we do there? 77 00:05:47,291 --> 00:05:50,791 - Processing credit cards. - And what do we actually do? 78 00:05:51,375 --> 00:05:52,208 Nico! 79 00:05:52,291 --> 00:05:55,041 At PLM Global, we add value through operational excellence 80 00:05:55,125 --> 00:05:57,750 and understanding the partners' business processes. 81 00:06:04,166 --> 00:06:08,583 We help people get installments. Installments calm people down. 82 00:06:08,666 --> 00:06:11,583 They don't complain. They don't feel wronged anymore. 83 00:06:11,666 --> 00:06:13,000 That sounds pretty bad. 84 00:06:13,083 --> 00:06:15,166 -I like it. -She likes it. 85 00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:16,916 See how happy she looks? 86 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:18,583 You look upset. 87 00:06:18,666 --> 00:06:20,416 -Do you have kids? -No. 88 00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:21,791 -Installments? -I rent. 89 00:06:21,875 --> 00:06:25,416 -See? You're stupid. What's our slogan? -Making dreams come true… 90 00:06:28,541 --> 00:06:30,541 Making dreams come true in installments. 91 00:06:30,625 --> 00:06:32,208 -Nico! -Yes. 92 00:06:32,291 --> 00:06:33,708 -Do you have kids? -Yes! 93 00:06:33,791 --> 00:06:35,875 -Installments? -Where do I even begin? 94 00:06:35,958 --> 00:06:39,541 -Are you upset? -No! Unless you want me to be. 95 00:06:39,625 --> 00:06:43,500 See? Life is simple when you have kids and installments. 96 00:06:43,583 --> 00:06:45,041 You're happy to have a job. 97 00:06:45,125 --> 00:06:48,708 When you have no kids or installments, you hate life. 98 00:06:51,541 --> 00:06:54,375 And we in this company don't hate life. 99 00:06:56,458 --> 00:07:01,291 All together. We are all a big family. 100 00:07:04,333 --> 00:07:05,583 Please, God. 101 00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:10,541 Make it drop, God! God, make it… 102 00:07:12,791 --> 00:07:14,250 -Hi! -Hi! 103 00:07:14,333 --> 00:07:16,708 -May I join you? -Sure. 104 00:07:19,708 --> 00:07:21,375 Mercury is retrograding. 105 00:07:25,583 --> 00:07:26,791 -Great day! -You too! 106 00:07:29,375 --> 00:07:32,416 I suggest you don't take it as a step back. 107 00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:35,458 It's more of a horizontal promotion. 108 00:07:35,541 --> 00:07:39,500 -Nico, give us a minute. -Yes, boss! 109 00:07:39,583 --> 00:07:41,875 If you want to lead, I have a department. 110 00:07:41,958 --> 00:07:44,791 They've gone an entire year without a boss or results. 111 00:07:44,875 --> 00:07:50,791 -What department? -A special one. 112 00:08:02,333 --> 00:08:04,750 ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION 113 00:08:51,541 --> 00:08:53,041 Uh-huh. 114 00:08:56,958 --> 00:08:58,625 Yeah! 115 00:08:58,708 --> 00:09:02,458 They didn't demote me. They promoted me. 116 00:09:03,666 --> 00:09:06,708 Horizontally. Yes, Mom. 117 00:09:06,791 --> 00:09:10,708 Mom, I'm going to lead a lot of people. 118 00:09:10,791 --> 00:09:11,875 Bye, Mom. 119 00:09:13,625 --> 00:09:18,666 Hi. Hello! Hi! Soft 'hey'. 120 00:09:21,375 --> 00:09:26,000 Hi guys, I'm your new team… leader. 121 00:09:27,166 --> 00:09:30,666 -Where's everyone? -Half smoking, half drinking coffee. 122 00:09:33,958 --> 00:09:35,291 Is this…? 123 00:09:36,750 --> 00:09:38,083 It is. 124 00:09:44,458 --> 00:09:50,583 Let's start with introductions. I'm Emil. I'm your new team leader. 125 00:09:50,666 --> 00:09:52,958 -What did you do? -Excuse me? 126 00:09:53,041 --> 00:09:55,666 You did something to get demoted. 127 00:09:55,750 --> 00:09:59,375 They didn't demote me. They promoted me. Horiz… 128 00:10:03,041 --> 00:10:07,500 I want to prove that the call center department is useful. 129 00:10:07,583 --> 00:10:09,958 And show you that work can be fun. 130 00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:14,458 Why? 131 00:10:15,166 --> 00:10:19,041 What do you mean 'why'? You should love your job. 132 00:10:19,125 --> 00:10:22,833 That's a hobby. If work was fun, I would pay to be here. 133 00:10:23,458 --> 00:10:26,375 Nope. I love watching Asia Express. 134 00:10:26,458 --> 00:10:29,416 That means I clock in lots of overtime hours. 135 00:10:29,500 --> 00:10:34,791 Onel, stop talking. You're depriving your brain of oxygen. 136 00:10:34,875 --> 00:10:41,625 Guys, let's do a call simulation. I'm the customer who has a problem. 137 00:10:47,541 --> 00:10:50,250 Hello, you have called FU Global. I'm an idiot. 138 00:10:50,333 --> 00:10:53,333 -How may I help you? -What are you doing? 139 00:10:53,416 --> 00:10:58,458 That's the procedure. They call, I answer. They swear, I transfer them. 140 00:10:58,541 --> 00:11:01,416 How hard can it be to talk to a customer? 141 00:11:03,416 --> 00:11:04,541 Give it here! 142 00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:10,666 Suck my dick. 143 00:11:10,750 --> 00:11:13,250 Look, take the call from Buzău. 144 00:11:18,750 --> 00:11:21,833 Hello, you have called FU Global. My name… What? 145 00:11:21,916 --> 00:11:26,208 -Do you have my name on the card? -I know the name is on the card… 146 00:11:26,833 --> 00:11:32,000 What do you mean how I got your number? I'm not being rude. Do what? 147 00:11:34,083 --> 00:11:36,583 I can't put anything in that hole. It's too small. 148 00:11:36,666 --> 00:11:40,000 -You've ruined my life. -Got it. I'll transfer you. 149 00:11:42,958 --> 00:11:44,375 FU Global, good afternoon. 150 00:11:44,458 --> 00:11:46,541 -Your mother is a whore! -Yup! True. 151 00:11:46,625 --> 00:11:48,583 Of course! We all deserve to die. 152 00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:52,375 Let's see how we can solve that. Can I get your social security number? 153 00:11:53,625 --> 00:11:55,541 How may I help you? 154 00:11:55,625 --> 00:11:57,875 Read a book. I don't know. 155 00:12:05,333 --> 00:12:11,500 Ma'am, I'm not saying 5G doesn't exist. I'm saying it's not in pigeons. 156 00:12:12,541 --> 00:12:16,833 You have called the police. Hello! Hello! 157 00:12:18,833 --> 00:12:21,500 -What are you doing? -Working. 158 00:12:22,333 --> 00:12:24,583 You just hung up on a client. 159 00:12:24,666 --> 00:12:29,125 -No. He hung up on me. -Because you said you're the police. 160 00:12:29,208 --> 00:12:31,500 Our goal is to solve people's problems. 161 00:12:31,583 --> 00:12:36,416 No, that's the company's goal. My goal is to get as many calls as I can. 162 00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:39,166 Don't you understand that I'm not human? I'm a robot. 163 00:12:39,250 --> 00:12:41,916 I'm a robot. 164 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,625 You did not solve their problems. 165 00:12:44,708 --> 00:12:47,708 I did. It can't be done. 166 00:12:47,791 --> 00:12:51,666 Don't you sleep better when you know it can't be done? 167 00:12:51,750 --> 00:12:54,791 Horia? Do a Macarena, dude! 168 00:12:55,791 --> 00:12:57,041 Let's do it! 169 00:12:57,750 --> 00:13:02,416 Macarena! He goes through five calls in 30 seconds. 170 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,333 You don't believe it? Just watch. 171 00:13:05,416 --> 00:13:07,291 Nipple! 172 00:13:08,541 --> 00:13:10,416 Two, three and go. 173 00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:12,791 You called the IRS. We close accounts. Hello? 174 00:13:13,833 --> 00:13:16,041 You're live with Oreste! 175 00:13:16,125 --> 00:13:21,750 Hello? Thank you for donating two Euros for… Hello? 176 00:13:21,833 --> 00:13:26,125 You fucking bastard, if you call my wife one more time, I'll… Hello? 177 00:13:26,208 --> 00:13:30,833 I'm Florin Piersic and I'm so happy to talk to someone. 178 00:13:30,916 --> 00:13:34,458 I miss talking to… Hello? 179 00:13:34,541 --> 00:13:38,291 -What's the time? -21 seconds. 180 00:13:38,375 --> 00:13:40,833 -Great job! -Yes! A new record. 181 00:13:40,916 --> 00:13:42,375 Excellent work! 182 00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:47,791 Welcome to FU Global. 183 00:13:48,708 --> 00:13:50,791 -Yes. -We believe in inclusion. 184 00:13:50,875 --> 00:13:53,250 I forgot my wallet. Please let me in. 185 00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:56,125 -Name? -Horia. 186 00:13:56,208 --> 00:13:59,291 -Horia what? -We are a big family here. 187 00:13:59,375 --> 00:14:00,333 Horia Brenciu. 188 00:14:01,583 --> 00:14:02,625 Do you have ID? 189 00:14:02,708 --> 00:14:06,541 I just said I forgot my wallet. I don't have ID on me. 190 00:14:07,333 --> 00:14:08,625 Security! 191 00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:16,416 She called the special forces! Sit down before you have a stroke. 192 00:14:16,500 --> 00:14:20,083 -You have heart pills in that canister? -Grațiela, right? 193 00:14:20,958 --> 00:14:23,125 Weren't you on season three of Love Island? 194 00:14:24,208 --> 00:14:25,541 Season four! 195 00:14:26,958 --> 00:14:32,000 -Have you considered changing your name? -Me? The fat guy should change it! 196 00:14:38,041 --> 00:14:40,083 This slut wants money again. 197 00:14:40,875 --> 00:14:42,166 What now? 198 00:14:43,166 --> 00:14:46,833 I'm not giving you anything. I'm not giving you any money. 199 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:51,583 Because you're a piece of shit! 200 00:14:51,666 --> 00:14:56,541 The moment mom laid eyes on you, she said you were gonna fuck up my life. 201 00:14:57,916 --> 00:15:01,333 Even whores have more common sense! 202 00:15:03,458 --> 00:15:06,125 -The wife? -My son. 203 00:15:09,958 --> 00:15:12,750 -Can you help me out? -With what? 204 00:15:13,416 --> 00:15:17,208 It's obvious everyone follows your lead. 205 00:15:17,291 --> 00:15:19,541 -Do you think you could… -What? 206 00:15:20,958 --> 00:15:25,125 -Please make them like me! -How can I do that? 207 00:15:25,208 --> 00:15:27,791 I don't know. Ask them to come in on time. 208 00:15:27,875 --> 00:15:29,541 How could I ask them that? 209 00:15:29,625 --> 00:15:33,500 Then just encourage them to be more productive. 210 00:15:33,583 --> 00:15:38,375 I'm just an employee. I don't know how. 211 00:15:38,458 --> 00:15:42,000 You know what? Screw that crap! 212 00:15:45,416 --> 00:15:48,083 Do you think I enjoy being on your territory? 213 00:15:48,166 --> 00:15:51,041 Don't you think I have testicles? I do! 214 00:15:51,125 --> 00:15:54,916 But I act like a man and I leave my balls at the door. 215 00:15:56,875 --> 00:15:58,250 Okay. Deal! 216 00:16:02,750 --> 00:16:08,250 Guys! Listen up! He has testicles! 217 00:16:16,875 --> 00:16:19,666 Can I take another one? I have a twin that eats a lot. 218 00:16:19,750 --> 00:16:23,625 And this is for my twin cousin. He's a good guy. 219 00:16:23,708 --> 00:16:25,916 -Take as much as you need. -Thank you! 220 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,833 As team leader, 221 00:16:28,916 --> 00:16:34,250 it is my duty to place the team's needs first. 222 00:16:40,375 --> 00:16:42,500 -Go ahead! -You've got dessert, Onel. 223 00:16:42,583 --> 00:16:43,958 It's dessert? 224 00:16:44,041 --> 00:16:48,000 It's a wet paper towel. Like toilet paper, but better. 225 00:17:02,666 --> 00:17:04,083 Oh yes! 226 00:17:06,666 --> 00:17:09,458 Șerban, I feel so loved right now. 227 00:17:12,500 --> 00:17:15,875 Can anyone tell me what this is? 228 00:17:18,958 --> 00:17:20,375 Onel? 229 00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:23,875 -Balls! -What? No! 230 00:17:23,958 --> 00:17:26,166 -Two balls. -No. 231 00:17:27,791 --> 00:17:31,333 Can anyone tell me what this looks like now? 232 00:17:32,791 --> 00:17:33,791 Șerban! 233 00:17:33,875 --> 00:17:38,375 -Two hairy balls? -Synergy! 234 00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:39,875 It's obvious it's synergy! 235 00:17:41,166 --> 00:17:44,625 I'm sorry. It's just… it's synergy. 236 00:17:45,583 --> 00:17:48,125 Does anyone know what synergy is? Of course not! 237 00:17:48,208 --> 00:17:50,958 The coordination between two entities to gain an effect 238 00:17:51,041 --> 00:17:53,916 greater than if taking the two individually. 239 00:17:58,375 --> 00:18:03,541 -You're so stupid, Lorena! -No, no! Well done, Lorena! She's right! 240 00:18:03,625 --> 00:18:06,416 -'Well done, Lorena!' -No, dude. Listen up. 241 00:18:06,500 --> 00:18:10,250 It means that two balls together 242 00:18:10,333 --> 00:18:12,500 are better than one. 243 00:18:13,208 --> 00:18:17,041 Okay. Apparently we'll go with testicles. 244 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,125 Right. 245 00:18:19,208 --> 00:18:23,958 Let's presume this is our company. And it has… 246 00:18:24,041 --> 00:18:27,083 -The shape of a dick. -…multiple layers. 247 00:18:28,375 --> 00:18:31,041 -Up here we have the top of… -The dick. 248 00:18:32,083 --> 00:18:33,000 …pyramid. Leaders. 249 00:18:34,583 --> 00:18:37,666 -Here we have… -The middle of the dick. 250 00:18:39,583 --> 00:18:41,041 The middle class. 251 00:18:42,333 --> 00:18:43,666 Employees. 252 00:18:44,500 --> 00:18:47,125 -And here we have… -The base of the penis. 253 00:18:48,125 --> 00:18:49,458 Close enough. 254 00:18:49,541 --> 00:18:54,833 'Low'. Now, what's missing here? 255 00:19:01,583 --> 00:19:03,500 An onion? 256 00:19:03,583 --> 00:19:06,500 -No. -A pussy. 257 00:19:07,375 --> 00:19:11,833 What does it mean? What does it stand for? 258 00:19:11,916 --> 00:19:14,708 -Sauron's Eye? -A black hole? 259 00:19:14,791 --> 00:19:17,791 -The Virgin Mary? -The client! 260 00:19:18,750 --> 00:19:20,333 Look, it's really-- 261 00:19:20,416 --> 00:19:25,625 -OK. Now then. Who are we? -The foreskin. 262 00:19:25,708 --> 00:19:29,083 -What's our mission? -To screw the client. 263 00:19:29,166 --> 00:19:32,375 -To get? -Added value. 264 00:19:32,458 --> 00:19:35,875 And this, my friends, is the definition of capitalism. 265 00:19:43,833 --> 00:19:48,291 -Make yourself comfortable. How is it? -Great! Things are moving. 266 00:19:48,375 --> 00:19:49,333 Come here! 267 00:19:58,500 --> 00:20:02,875 -What do you think about AI? -It represents the future. 268 00:20:02,958 --> 00:20:06,250 Exactly! I'm closing down the call center. 269 00:20:06,333 --> 00:20:08,333 -What? -It was Nicoleta's idea. 270 00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:12,166 It's cheaper to replace operators with a robot. Watch this! 271 00:20:15,041 --> 00:20:19,000 Hi. I'm Clara. Welcome to FU Global… 272 00:20:22,375 --> 00:20:25,416 -What about the employees? -What about them? 273 00:20:25,500 --> 00:20:27,583 -What will you do about them? -Fired! 274 00:20:28,958 --> 00:20:31,666 Don't worry. Starting from September. 275 00:20:31,750 --> 00:20:35,916 If you play nice and befriend Nicoleta, we'll keep seeing you here. 276 00:20:39,333 --> 00:20:41,541 Why me? 277 00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:46,458 -How are you doing? -He fired me. 278 00:20:48,750 --> 00:20:52,208 -Help me with this. -Sure! 279 00:20:52,291 --> 00:20:56,458 Ms. Nico said she can't pay me anymore. 280 00:20:57,291 --> 00:21:02,291 -And who's going to clean now? -She said she has a robot. 281 00:21:02,375 --> 00:21:06,458 Apparently they can vacuum and mop. 282 00:21:07,083 --> 00:21:11,458 -That's exactly what you were doing. -Yeah, but the robot speaks English too. 283 00:21:11,541 --> 00:21:13,458 In my day, we studied Russian. 284 00:21:13,541 --> 00:21:15,125 See ya! 285 00:21:21,208 --> 00:21:23,041 This chick is so hot! Swipe! 286 00:21:24,416 --> 00:21:26,958 What if I get you the Happy Cup? 287 00:21:29,250 --> 00:21:31,500 You think you can beat the Transylvanians? 288 00:21:36,083 --> 00:21:39,500 Would that be proof that the CC department is valuable? 289 00:21:39,583 --> 00:21:43,333 If you get me the cup, I'll make you project manager by Fall. 290 00:21:46,541 --> 00:21:50,708 If not, at the end of the month you're all fired. 291 00:21:51,541 --> 00:21:52,875 Good luck! 292 00:21:55,875 --> 00:22:00,875 -I know how it sounds, but… -Fuck your trip! 293 00:22:01,708 --> 00:22:03,375 I really like you guys. 294 00:22:03,458 --> 00:22:07,375 And I believe this team building can bring us together. 295 00:22:07,458 --> 00:22:09,083 As friends. 296 00:22:12,416 --> 00:22:16,458 If you help me win the team building, in two months I'm out of your hair. 297 00:22:17,666 --> 00:22:18,958 I'll leave! 298 00:22:20,125 --> 00:22:23,166 -Two months? -Two months. 299 00:22:36,833 --> 00:22:39,000 Why are we doing this? 300 00:22:39,083 --> 00:22:45,041 They want us to do team building to make us happier. 301 00:22:45,125 --> 00:22:49,083 -They should try raising our salaries. -But how would you be motivated? 302 00:22:49,166 --> 00:22:51,541 Money. That would motivate me. 303 00:22:52,416 --> 00:22:57,416 What the hell does "the theme is political correctness" mean? 304 00:22:57,500 --> 00:23:00,291 -It seems complicated. -It's not! 305 00:23:00,375 --> 00:23:06,250 We go there and fight departments from Craiova, Iași and Transylvania. 306 00:23:06,333 --> 00:23:09,708 They say Cluj is the best. But they're from Cluj, after all. 307 00:23:09,791 --> 00:23:13,916 -Really? Cluj? Fuck'em! -The way they speak! 308 00:23:14,583 --> 00:23:19,875 Craiova is surely a bunch of nerdy wusses. 309 00:23:19,958 --> 00:23:23,250 And we can just get Moldavians drunk. 310 00:23:24,250 --> 00:23:28,041 Isn't a team building where people drink and have sex on the company's expense? 311 00:23:28,125 --> 00:23:29,875 Free beer? I'm in! 312 00:23:30,500 --> 00:23:32,916 Sex? In the vagina? 313 00:23:33,750 --> 00:23:37,083 Yes, Onel. Sex in the vagina. 314 00:23:51,416 --> 00:23:54,958 Șerban! Give me that vodka! 315 00:23:55,875 --> 00:23:58,125 -There you go, baby! -Thanks! 316 00:23:59,166 --> 00:24:01,541 -You don't drink? -I do. 317 00:24:04,791 --> 00:24:08,583 -How long have you been working here? -Six years. Five too many. 318 00:24:08,666 --> 00:24:10,583 Onel, take a picture. 319 00:24:12,375 --> 00:24:15,833 Come on, Șerban. I don't want to see your nipples. Go away! 320 00:24:15,916 --> 00:24:18,625 -We don't wanna see yours either. -What do you want? 321 00:24:18,708 --> 00:24:23,541 -I'm surprised you're not team leader. -Only men get leadership roles, right? 322 00:24:23,625 --> 00:24:24,916 I don't think so. 323 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:28,375 Then how did you get here? You have no call center background. 324 00:24:29,041 --> 00:24:33,041 What's the deal with "political correctness"? 325 00:24:34,791 --> 00:24:36,333 It's an art. 326 00:24:36,416 --> 00:24:40,291 The art of offending someone without being blunt. 327 00:24:41,250 --> 00:24:46,250 How do you tell someone, "Shut the fuck up, you idiot?" 328 00:24:47,041 --> 00:24:51,958 You say, "I appreciate your feedback, and I'll consider it." 329 00:24:52,041 --> 00:24:56,083 -And if you say, 'I don't give a fuck'? -'Send me an email.' 330 00:24:56,166 --> 00:25:00,208 'Fuck you?' How do you say that? 'Suck it!' 331 00:25:01,750 --> 00:25:03,250 'Kind reminder.' 332 00:25:28,208 --> 00:25:29,541 BUCEGI NATURE RESERVE 333 00:25:42,666 --> 00:25:45,291 MAKING DREAMS COME TRUE IN INSTALLMENTS 334 00:25:46,083 --> 00:25:48,958 It's like a really big park. 335 00:25:54,583 --> 00:25:56,500 Welcome to the Belmont! 336 00:25:56,583 --> 00:26:00,333 Unfortunately, all the rooms are reserved for the FU Global team building. 337 00:26:01,791 --> 00:26:03,875 We're from the Bucharest call center. 338 00:26:03,958 --> 00:26:05,666 Let me check, please. 339 00:26:06,541 --> 00:26:10,208 FU, FU... 340 00:26:10,958 --> 00:26:13,583 What FU Is this? A different FU. 341 00:26:13,666 --> 00:26:16,416 Sometimes you can't tell what the FU you're reading. 342 00:26:18,041 --> 00:26:21,750 Found it! There were six rooms. Now there are only three. 343 00:26:22,500 --> 00:26:26,875 -What? -Ms. Nicoleta made the reservation. 344 00:26:32,916 --> 00:26:34,375 Where will you sleep? 345 00:26:46,875 --> 00:26:48,541 What are you doing? 346 00:26:49,291 --> 00:26:53,833 What every man does when he's finally away from his family. 347 00:26:57,791 --> 00:26:59,166 Time to smash some pussy! 348 00:27:00,875 --> 00:27:02,958 At least wait for me to leave the room. 349 00:27:04,833 --> 00:27:08,375 Forgive me! Excuse me! 350 00:27:11,708 --> 00:27:13,500 Close the freaking window! 351 00:27:17,041 --> 00:27:20,083 -Hey! -Hey! How are you, Nico? 352 00:27:20,166 --> 00:27:24,041 Kind reminder, starting from now I'm 'Ms.' to you, yes? 353 00:27:24,125 --> 00:27:27,375 -How's the room? -Perfect! Thanks. 354 00:27:30,875 --> 00:27:32,166 It's the radio. 355 00:27:33,041 --> 00:27:39,000 I know you've never stayed at a four star, but please don't embarrass the company. 356 00:27:39,666 --> 00:27:41,375 Don't get wasted! 357 00:27:45,958 --> 00:27:48,166 Hey! What are you doing? 358 00:27:51,291 --> 00:27:52,791 Tits-- 359 00:27:59,250 --> 00:28:01,000 Okay. I'll have a beer as well. 360 00:28:04,916 --> 00:28:06,250 Tits! 361 00:28:07,041 --> 00:28:10,166 -Are you trying to say you saw breasts? -Yes! 362 00:28:14,541 --> 00:28:17,541 -Someone else arrived? -The Moldavians. They're at the pool. 363 00:28:18,333 --> 00:28:20,125 Nice. We have a pool! 364 00:28:48,958 --> 00:28:50,333 That one is mine! 365 00:28:50,416 --> 00:28:52,916 -The first one is mine! I called it. -That's mine! 366 00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:55,791 Stop it! Don't embarrass me, please. 367 00:28:59,750 --> 00:29:01,333 -Hey! -Hey! 368 00:29:02,125 --> 00:29:05,916 I'm Emil, and I'm senior team leader at the Bucharest call center. 369 00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:07,250 They're my colleagues. 370 00:29:07,333 --> 00:29:10,333 -Andreea. Logistics lead. -Lavinia. 371 00:29:10,416 --> 00:29:12,250 - Sandra. Nice to meet you. -Luiza. 372 00:29:12,333 --> 00:29:13,833 -Bianca. -I'm Maria. 373 00:29:13,916 --> 00:29:15,833 -Yeah, cool! -Good for you! 374 00:29:15,916 --> 00:29:18,708 It seems the Cluj team is late. 375 00:29:20,083 --> 00:29:22,000 How about some volleyball? 376 00:29:23,500 --> 00:29:26,250 -Big fan. -Onel, you're the goalkeeper. 377 00:30:35,916 --> 00:30:38,000 And what did you do last night? 378 00:30:38,625 --> 00:30:40,375 -Really? - Yeah. 379 00:30:42,375 --> 00:30:48,000 -Sorry about earlier. Are you okay? -Yeah! I'm fine! 380 00:30:48,083 --> 00:30:50,125 What challenge scares you the most? 381 00:30:50,833 --> 00:30:55,000 I wouldn't say they scare me. You know how it is when you're in charge. 382 00:30:55,083 --> 00:30:56,708 You have responsibilities. 383 00:30:56,791 --> 00:31:01,083 -Is this your first time? -On team building? We also came last year. 384 00:31:01,166 --> 00:31:03,458 The guys from Cluj won that as well. 385 00:31:04,500 --> 00:31:07,208 I heard they're… 386 00:31:08,666 --> 00:31:12,625 -Rough. -No. They're okay. 387 00:31:23,541 --> 00:31:24,833 One of ours! 388 00:31:37,500 --> 00:31:40,041 I'm more scared of the stags from Craiova. 389 00:31:44,166 --> 00:31:45,000 Who? 390 00:31:47,625 --> 00:31:48,875 The Internal Audit guys. 391 00:32:04,625 --> 00:32:06,208 Quiet! We're here! 392 00:32:07,541 --> 00:32:12,000 Hey, bro! I'm Laurențiu. Consulting manager for Internal Audit. 393 00:32:12,083 --> 00:32:15,041 Hi. Emil! Senior team leader, Bucharest call center. 394 00:32:15,125 --> 00:32:19,416 Great. This weekend call me 'Dread'. 395 00:32:21,750 --> 00:32:28,208 I'm Resin, this is Sharky, Shabby, 396 00:32:28,291 --> 00:32:30,333 Scandal and Mihai. 397 00:32:30,416 --> 00:32:36,791 -Hi, everyone! -Shut the fuck up and grab the luggage! 398 00:32:39,166 --> 00:32:43,083 -Hi, baby! Did you miss me? -You're still a bunch of pigs. 399 00:32:43,166 --> 00:32:44,250 Yeah, and you're… 400 00:32:46,375 --> 00:32:48,041 still beautiful. 401 00:32:50,083 --> 00:32:51,500 Pay attention! 402 00:32:51,583 --> 00:32:53,500 This is too much! 403 00:32:53,583 --> 00:32:56,541 Are they for real? 404 00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:00,166 Auditing isn't easy. 405 00:33:00,250 --> 00:33:03,666 They count thousands of euros 14 hours a day. 406 00:33:04,916 --> 00:33:08,750 They use these three days to make up for having no life the other 362. 407 00:33:09,875 --> 00:33:12,000 Couldn't we be more like them? 408 00:33:15,208 --> 00:33:16,583 Good afternoon! 409 00:33:17,250 --> 00:33:19,000 We got hoes here as well? 410 00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:21,958 Nice. 411 00:33:22,041 --> 00:33:24,333 That's Horia. He's from Titan. 412 00:33:24,416 --> 00:33:27,208 He survived a stroke. 413 00:33:28,291 --> 00:33:30,000 Sit down and shut up! 414 00:33:31,416 --> 00:33:33,250 -Dude! -Yeah! 415 00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:58,958 Let's talk to the guys. 416 00:33:59,791 --> 00:34:03,916 -Hi! -Don't drink too much! 417 00:34:04,958 --> 00:34:08,291 -Come on. -Sure, Dad. 418 00:34:08,375 --> 00:34:10,500 Look at that one. 419 00:34:14,791 --> 00:34:17,500 Yo, fat guy! Bring the shade over here! 420 00:34:19,958 --> 00:34:21,541 -Call it! -Head. 421 00:34:21,625 --> 00:34:23,958 -Nope. -Hit him! 422 00:34:25,166 --> 00:34:28,583 -Cheers! -Cheers! 423 00:34:28,666 --> 00:34:32,166 Hey, guys, I know it's your first team building 424 00:34:32,250 --> 00:34:36,125 and you're not used to the free stuff, but let's not get wasted. 425 00:34:36,208 --> 00:34:38,041 Calm down, boss. 426 00:34:38,125 --> 00:34:43,916 -Firstly, the stags are more wasted. -Firstly, the Cluj team are a pity bunch. 427 00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,541 They haven't even made it here in time. 428 00:34:46,625 --> 00:34:50,625 -Cheers! -Cheers! 429 00:34:50,708 --> 00:34:53,875 Cluj is here! 430 00:35:21,166 --> 00:35:25,916 Hi, everyone! So nice seeing you girls. 431 00:35:26,500 --> 00:35:29,416 Oy, so good to be here. 432 00:35:31,041 --> 00:35:33,500 Raul! Sales Manager. 433 00:35:33,583 --> 00:35:39,416 These are my colleagues. But I'll let them introduce themselves, as is right. 434 00:35:39,500 --> 00:35:45,833 -Tase! My highest esteem goes out to you. -Erika! I congratulate you already. 435 00:35:45,916 --> 00:35:48,708 -Why are they talking funny? -Funny how? 436 00:35:48,791 --> 00:35:53,500 -Like they're lying. -Kika! I bow to you. 437 00:35:53,583 --> 00:35:56,791 Popa! Aka Brain. I love you all. 438 00:35:56,875 --> 00:36:01,083 Paul! So sorry for being late. 439 00:36:01,166 --> 00:36:03,666 Don't worry. That's just your genes. A bit slower. 440 00:36:06,958 --> 00:36:09,791 We were supposed to be here at 12:00, 441 00:36:09,875 --> 00:36:14,166 but we decided to stop for a few hours to meditate at Simidiu. 442 00:36:14,250 --> 00:36:17,958 -Do you know where that is? -Close to Blabanos. 443 00:36:19,208 --> 00:36:20,625 Did you hear that? 444 00:36:20,708 --> 00:36:26,625 Are these villages or flowers? 445 00:36:31,041 --> 00:36:32,291 So funny! 446 00:36:32,375 --> 00:36:38,375 There were two priests reconditioning an orphanage and we just had to help. 447 00:36:39,750 --> 00:36:41,500 I'm gonna cry. 448 00:36:41,583 --> 00:36:47,500 We cried when the little guys smiled. 449 00:36:47,583 --> 00:36:49,458 Oy... 450 00:36:49,541 --> 00:36:52,375 Why didn't you adopt a few, oy? 451 00:36:52,458 --> 00:36:55,000 -What? -What? 452 00:36:55,083 --> 00:37:00,000 -You don't joke about that. -I'm so happy to see you. 453 00:37:00,083 --> 00:37:04,958 Let's check you in! The challenges begin tomorrow. 454 00:37:05,041 --> 00:37:07,291 Easy! 455 00:37:09,500 --> 00:37:13,166 She spent two seconds with them and now she already talks like them. 456 00:37:22,500 --> 00:37:26,541 How are they so fucking perfect? 457 00:37:26,625 --> 00:37:28,166 I want one too. 458 00:37:28,250 --> 00:37:32,958 Jesus! Lorena, cover up your lungs before you catch a cold. 459 00:37:33,833 --> 00:37:36,958 They're breasts, not lungs, moron. Suck a fucking dick! 460 00:37:37,041 --> 00:37:39,458 -Wow, guys! -You're a slut! 461 00:37:39,541 --> 00:37:40,875 -Fuck off! -Dumbass! 462 00:37:40,958 --> 00:37:42,875 Guys! Stop it! 463 00:37:42,958 --> 00:37:47,083 Let's go mingle and show them they don't intimidate us. 464 00:37:48,375 --> 00:37:49,666 Watch this! 465 00:37:54,166 --> 00:37:55,625 Hey, dude! 466 00:37:56,833 --> 00:37:59,166 Where can I get something to smoke? 467 00:38:02,666 --> 00:38:05,416 Hi! Want to drink a beer? Beer! Grab a beer? 468 00:38:06,291 --> 00:38:10,750 Oy! No, thank you. Sorry, I don't drink beer. 469 00:38:10,833 --> 00:38:14,708 I only drink liquor made by my gramps, 470 00:38:14,791 --> 00:38:20,875 who instilled in me a deep love of nature, especially-- 471 00:38:21,541 --> 00:38:26,458 Triathlon is my passion. But I also love curling, and-- 472 00:38:26,541 --> 00:38:32,875 Yoga. It's so good for you. It relaxes all your joints. 473 00:38:32,958 --> 00:38:37,791 And here, this bruise I got when I fell off the bike 474 00:38:37,875 --> 00:38:41,875 on our ecologically illuminated biker rails in Cluj-- 475 00:38:41,958 --> 00:38:44,875 Between the free parking 476 00:38:44,958 --> 00:38:47,083 and the five-star vegan restaurant 477 00:38:47,166 --> 00:38:51,416 built in a mansion that dates back to when Austria was-- 478 00:38:51,500 --> 00:38:56,458 We would have been years ahead of the South easily-- 479 00:38:56,541 --> 00:38:58,750 Easily. 480 00:39:11,916 --> 00:39:16,541 -I fucking hate them! -Stop it! Mountains are nice. Mountains! 481 00:39:17,500 --> 00:39:21,541 I'll go drink with the guys from Craiova. Are you coming, dude? 482 00:39:21,625 --> 00:39:24,208 Let me be, dude! 483 00:39:25,916 --> 00:39:29,416 What's with this chick? Come on! 484 00:39:35,125 --> 00:39:37,000 Onel! Not like that! 485 00:39:40,208 --> 00:39:42,250 Wait! Onel! 486 00:39:49,666 --> 00:39:50,875 BABY EAGLE 487 00:39:50,958 --> 00:39:53,666 -Cheers! -Cheers! 488 00:39:53,750 --> 00:39:54,833 God bless! 489 00:40:05,583 --> 00:40:07,833 You know what I love about you guys? 490 00:40:09,083 --> 00:40:11,000 That you don't give a fuck about this. 491 00:40:11,708 --> 00:40:15,500 That's because we didn't come to win. 492 00:40:15,583 --> 00:40:20,791 We came to get wasted and to finally get away from our families. 493 00:40:28,250 --> 00:40:31,708 Bro, I have a bit of cokes. 494 00:40:32,958 --> 00:40:37,666 -Do you want some 'cokes'? -What's 'cokes'? 495 00:40:38,333 --> 00:40:43,666 -Dust from the wings of angels. -Then I'd like a bit. 496 00:40:44,666 --> 00:40:47,416 Brother! 497 00:40:47,500 --> 00:40:53,791 -We'll start our own software company. -And sell trips to the Danube Delta. 498 00:40:53,875 --> 00:40:56,041 -Give it to him! -Do it! 499 00:41:08,750 --> 00:41:10,708 Hey! Whatcha doin'? 500 00:41:10,791 --> 00:41:14,125 We're playing potato to the sack. Ever played that? 501 00:41:14,208 --> 00:41:18,416 You have to catch a potato in your nuts. If you miss it, we kick your ass. 502 00:41:18,500 --> 00:41:20,541 Best game ever! 503 00:41:20,625 --> 00:41:24,750 Seems simple, but you need good pelvis movement. 504 00:41:24,833 --> 00:41:26,041 Hit him! 505 00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:33,916 What was that? 506 00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:36,708 I'll fucking kill you all! Enough! 507 00:41:41,125 --> 00:41:42,166 Hey! 508 00:41:45,166 --> 00:41:48,083 -You got the wrong room. -I got drunk and now I wanna fuck. 509 00:41:49,583 --> 00:41:50,875 With whom? 510 00:42:03,625 --> 00:42:05,416 -No! -No? Why? 511 00:42:05,500 --> 00:42:07,583 Cause we're colleagues? 512 00:42:07,666 --> 00:42:13,166 What happens in team building, stays in team building. Bossman! 513 00:42:16,750 --> 00:42:17,666 Sorry! 514 00:42:18,416 --> 00:42:23,125 You check out all the girls here, but not me, right? 515 00:42:23,208 --> 00:42:25,500 I don't count for you? 516 00:42:25,583 --> 00:42:28,791 Lorena isn't a woman! Lorena is one of the guys! 517 00:42:28,875 --> 00:42:32,333 No! Why would you say that? That's not how it is. 518 00:42:32,416 --> 00:42:34,958 You're just part of the team. Don't you want that? 519 00:42:35,041 --> 00:42:37,958 I want someone to look my ass. 520 00:42:39,791 --> 00:42:43,708 I haven't had sex in a year. I thought I'd fuck someone here. 521 00:42:43,791 --> 00:42:46,416 So we can both regret it the next day. 522 00:42:46,500 --> 00:42:49,875 Then we'll stop talking for half a year. Like normal people do. 523 00:42:50,666 --> 00:42:55,333 I swear that no man can make a woman feel regret as much as I can. 524 00:42:56,708 --> 00:43:02,291 It's just that I just broke up with someone, and I can't. For various reasons. 525 00:43:03,125 --> 00:43:06,958 But I respect you as a human being, colleague and woman. 526 00:43:08,375 --> 00:43:10,250 You fucking pussy! 527 00:43:13,541 --> 00:43:17,083 It feels so good inside! 528 00:43:22,166 --> 00:43:23,458 Oy! 529 00:43:33,333 --> 00:43:35,333 Down! 530 00:43:35,416 --> 00:43:41,000 Welcome to the Happiness Cup! A FU Global tradition since 2017. 531 00:43:41,083 --> 00:43:43,416 There are four challenges. 532 00:43:43,500 --> 00:43:47,333 The team that wins one earns a smiley face. 533 00:43:47,416 --> 00:43:51,083 At the end, the team with the most smiley faces wins. 534 00:43:51,166 --> 00:43:57,416 And, as we're used by now, the Transylvanians win all the smiles. 535 00:43:57,500 --> 00:44:01,625 Are you ready? We will start with… Marian! 536 00:44:02,791 --> 00:44:04,083 Team Trivia! 537 00:44:04,166 --> 00:44:05,458 JESUS 538 00:44:05,541 --> 00:44:10,083 -He died for our sins. -Vadim. Corneliu Vadim Tudor. 539 00:44:10,166 --> 00:44:11,500 No... 540 00:44:14,041 --> 00:44:16,000 He betrayed Craiova. 541 00:44:17,916 --> 00:44:19,291 All! 542 00:44:20,750 --> 00:44:27,208 -We all have! True! -We're all here! 543 00:44:27,291 --> 00:44:28,250 BECALI 544 00:44:28,875 --> 00:44:32,375 -Money. Wool. Politics. -Jews. Soros. 545 00:44:32,458 --> 00:44:34,000 Jews, right? 546 00:44:34,083 --> 00:44:36,166 -She's married. -She's married. 547 00:44:36,791 --> 00:44:39,291 -She wears colorful outfits. -Colorful outfits. 548 00:44:39,375 --> 00:44:41,083 -Blond hair. -Blond hair. 549 00:44:41,166 --> 00:44:43,375 EINSTEIN 550 00:44:43,458 --> 00:44:48,458 E = mc². 551 00:44:48,541 --> 00:44:54,625 Albert Einstein. March 14th, 1879. 552 00:44:57,291 --> 00:45:00,625 -Window. Billionaire. He invented… -Gates. 553 00:45:01,958 --> 00:45:04,583 Controlled by Jews, who want to exterminate us all. 554 00:45:05,500 --> 00:45:06,916 Okay! 555 00:45:11,125 --> 00:45:14,541 Team Trust is based on absolute trust in your teammates. 556 00:45:16,541 --> 00:45:18,000 Oh my God! 557 00:45:30,791 --> 00:45:32,291 Good job, bro! 558 00:45:32,375 --> 00:45:34,291 Come on, guys! We can do this. 559 00:45:35,208 --> 00:45:39,125 -Where's Horia? -Hey, guys! 560 00:45:39,916 --> 00:45:42,541 This is how we do it! 561 00:46:03,375 --> 00:46:06,708 -Are you okay? -God? 562 00:46:06,791 --> 00:46:08,541 Is that You? 563 00:46:08,625 --> 00:46:13,583 You finally broke the elevator. Help me up. 564 00:46:19,875 --> 00:46:24,083 What? That's it? Is it Monday already? It was fun! 565 00:46:28,833 --> 00:46:30,583 See you next year! 566 00:46:42,833 --> 00:46:47,583 -I guess it counts. You get the point. -Yes! 567 00:46:49,041 --> 00:46:51,083 That's how you do it! 568 00:46:51,166 --> 00:46:53,333 TEAM CLUJ - IAȘI - BUCHAREST - CRAIOVA 569 00:47:01,041 --> 00:47:05,250 -Great comeback. -It's just one point. 570 00:47:05,333 --> 00:47:07,583 Still, no one expected it. 571 00:47:09,708 --> 00:47:11,541 I know my team! 572 00:47:12,500 --> 00:47:16,333 I'm happy to see a different kind of people at these events. 573 00:47:16,416 --> 00:47:19,708 I hope those monsters don't scare you too much. 574 00:47:19,791 --> 00:47:22,583 -A shot? -I don't drink. 575 00:47:22,666 --> 00:47:24,083 Why? Are you a wuss? 576 00:47:25,708 --> 00:47:29,541 -What? -It's okay to take a sip once in a while. 577 00:47:40,250 --> 00:47:42,166 Just don't tell my colleagues. 578 00:47:47,833 --> 00:47:50,500 Congratulations! You won one point. 579 00:47:51,291 --> 00:47:54,666 -Too bad it will be your last. -It won't be our last. 580 00:47:54,750 --> 00:48:00,000 Looking at you monkeys, I won't have to wait a few months to shut you down. 581 00:48:00,583 --> 00:48:04,000 I have complete confidence you'll do that by yourselves by Monday. 582 00:48:09,583 --> 00:48:15,375 My dears, the next one is my favorite challenge: Team Karaoke. 583 00:48:15,458 --> 00:48:19,333 I look forward to seeing which songs you've prepared for this. 584 00:48:19,416 --> 00:48:20,666 You start, Craiova! 585 00:48:25,125 --> 00:48:28,333 I don't have a gang, I have men in black 586 00:48:28,416 --> 00:48:31,541 I appear like the Antichrist And they bow in front of me 587 00:48:32,666 --> 00:48:36,083 Half of them have pure souls The other half are broken 588 00:48:36,166 --> 00:48:39,375 I sweep them off 589 00:48:39,458 --> 00:48:41,916 I'm free at the seaside 590 00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:47,041 I'm with you at the beach We're making love on the hot sand 591 00:48:47,125 --> 00:48:49,375 I'm not a nice girl anymore 592 00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:55,458 This song is for all the women in this team building. 593 00:48:57,166 --> 00:49:02,750 When I'm with you and I feel good 594 00:49:02,833 --> 00:49:06,125 -I just follow my heart -I'm gonna kill that motherfucker! 595 00:49:07,458 --> 00:49:12,541 The sea is blue, you're beautiful. 596 00:49:12,625 --> 00:49:16,833 I just follow my heart 597 00:49:18,291 --> 00:49:22,583 Sunny outside, spring all around 598 00:49:22,666 --> 00:49:25,916 I just follow my heart 599 00:49:26,791 --> 00:49:30,541 Don't ask 600 00:49:30,625 --> 00:49:34,333 I just follow my heart 601 00:49:40,583 --> 00:49:41,791 Yeah! 602 00:49:41,875 --> 00:49:47,458 Amazing! Congrats! I love Horia Brenciu! 603 00:49:47,541 --> 00:49:51,958 Bravo! Well done! 604 00:49:53,333 --> 00:49:56,041 Bucharest is next! Applause, please! 605 00:50:07,916 --> 00:50:11,250 Big assholes, small assholes Girls with small tits 606 00:50:11,333 --> 00:50:15,041 With big tits or filled with silicone They all gathered here 607 00:50:15,125 --> 00:50:17,958 Big holes, small holes! 608 00:50:18,041 --> 00:50:23,125 Thank you, Dorina! Amazing, well done! 609 00:50:23,208 --> 00:50:25,708 We're still choosing our song. Just on sec. 610 00:50:25,791 --> 00:50:30,708 -Where did you learn that? -From my first boyfriend, when I was 13. 611 00:50:30,791 --> 00:50:34,500 -Wow! Where did you grow up? -In Colentina. 612 00:50:53,125 --> 00:50:58,791 I see your torment And I see you don't dare 613 00:50:58,875 --> 00:51:01,750 To tell me what's going on 614 00:51:03,166 --> 00:51:08,625 But I know that you can't hide 615 00:51:08,708 --> 00:51:14,333 Don't look for another way Hot hands once more 616 00:51:14,416 --> 00:51:20,458 And another night of longing Other hands are reaching to you 617 00:51:20,541 --> 00:51:26,250 But you'll always be 618 00:51:27,041 --> 00:51:29,250 Simply passing by 619 00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:35,208 You don't know what to tell me I see that you're searching 620 00:51:36,083 --> 00:51:38,708 Words full of lies 621 00:51:39,583 --> 00:51:41,500 But it's no use 622 00:51:41,583 --> 00:51:47,708 Because you've always been 623 00:51:47,791 --> 00:51:50,833 An actor in a hurry 624 00:51:51,791 --> 00:51:57,458 Who delivers his line and leaves smilingly 625 00:51:57,541 --> 00:52:02,083 An actor in a hurry who already forgot 626 00:52:02,166 --> 00:52:06,250 What he said on stage 627 00:52:06,333 --> 00:52:09,541 An actor in a hurry 628 00:52:10,250 --> 00:52:15,583 Who leaves right after the play 629 00:52:15,666 --> 00:52:18,250 Happy that the part was easy 630 00:52:18,333 --> 00:52:22,583 He has the voice of an angel. A stupid angel. 631 00:52:23,333 --> 00:52:26,833 Another stage 632 00:52:36,375 --> 00:52:41,166 -Bravo! -Onel! 633 00:52:41,250 --> 00:52:44,166 Onel! 634 00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:47,458 -Cheers to Onel! -To Onel! 635 00:52:47,541 --> 00:52:48,666 Thank you. 636 00:52:49,250 --> 00:52:51,375 Where did you learn to sing like that? 637 00:52:52,291 --> 00:52:56,333 -In the shower. When I was a kid. -You must have showered a lot! 638 00:52:57,333 --> 00:53:01,000 Not at all. My parents used to lock me up in there when they went out. 639 00:53:01,083 --> 00:53:03,625 And leave the music on so I wouldn't feel alone. 640 00:53:03,708 --> 00:53:07,458 -That's for dogs, not for humans. -Oh, no. They always took Bobby. 641 00:53:08,500 --> 00:53:13,041 It's obvious to everyone who deserves to win the karaoke round, right? 642 00:53:13,125 --> 00:53:13,958 Onel! 643 00:53:15,166 --> 00:53:20,833 Congratulations to team Transylvanial! 644 00:53:23,541 --> 00:53:25,791 Boo! Thieves! 645 00:53:25,875 --> 00:53:29,708 -Thieves! -Enough! 646 00:53:29,791 --> 00:53:32,125 -Thieves! -Stop it! 647 00:53:32,208 --> 00:53:38,666 I have a surprise for all of you. 648 00:53:39,458 --> 00:53:42,375 Mr. Oprea just checked in 649 00:53:42,458 --> 00:53:47,333 and he will join us for this year's team building. 650 00:53:47,416 --> 00:53:49,333 Applause! 651 00:53:49,416 --> 00:53:51,583 Go, Mr. Oprea! 652 00:53:53,833 --> 00:53:56,083 Raul! Let's go to bed, 653 00:53:56,166 --> 00:54:00,083 'cause tomorrow morning we're doing cardio before breakfast. 654 00:54:00,166 --> 00:54:04,666 Let's sync our watches for yoga. 655 00:54:04,750 --> 00:54:07,916 Speaking of yoga, I might as well have a drink. 656 00:54:16,500 --> 00:54:20,666 -Dad taught me to do it this way. -No way! 657 00:54:20,750 --> 00:54:26,541 Bro! The only way to impress in the sack is to do the alphabet. 658 00:54:26,625 --> 00:54:31,125 But before. If you do it after, it's like admitting you're a bad lay. 659 00:54:31,208 --> 00:54:32,458 The alphabet? 660 00:54:34,708 --> 00:54:36,125 Pay attention! 661 00:54:36,791 --> 00:54:40,125 -You stick your head between the legs. -Like this. I'll help. 662 00:54:40,208 --> 00:54:44,333 -I'm the woman. -He's… I'm… 663 00:54:45,166 --> 00:54:47,958 -I'm you, and he's his wife. -Get to it already! 664 00:54:48,041 --> 00:54:54,291 -And you start with your tongue: A, B, C… -A, B, C-- 665 00:54:54,375 --> 00:54:57,041 This is simple, because it's half of O. 666 00:54:57,125 --> 00:55:01,625 -And women like that? -Listen to this guy! 667 00:55:01,708 --> 00:55:05,791 This is how I apologize to my wife. I tend to make mistakes! 668 00:55:05,875 --> 00:55:11,583 But be careful never to do Z! Never Z! Got it? 669 00:55:17,708 --> 00:55:21,041 -I really liked you guys. -Thanks. 670 00:55:21,125 --> 00:55:25,875 Don't worry about it. A great leader knows when to admit defeat. 671 00:55:25,958 --> 00:55:27,583 Really? Does he? 672 00:55:28,833 --> 00:55:30,000 Yes. 673 00:55:30,083 --> 00:55:34,333 What was that song your colleague sang? What was the beginning again? 674 00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:38,125 Oh yeah. 675 00:55:39,958 --> 00:55:42,333 'Small derriere, big derriere. 676 00:55:42,416 --> 00:55:46,666 Women with small breasts, big breasts.' I don't really remember. 677 00:55:48,666 --> 00:55:50,375 You're upset! 678 00:55:51,625 --> 00:55:53,000 Be happy! 679 00:55:53,083 --> 00:55:56,708 It's the last night here. We're in the middle of nowhere. 680 00:55:56,791 --> 00:55:59,916 -Does your boss know where you are? -Who cares? 681 00:56:00,875 --> 00:56:03,250 What can she do? Fire me? 682 00:56:04,875 --> 00:56:06,750 I can get another job tomorrow. 683 00:56:06,833 --> 00:56:11,250 As long as I have no installments, I'm free to do whatever I want. 684 00:56:11,333 --> 00:56:13,625 -You're right! -Yup! 685 00:56:13,708 --> 00:56:15,125 -Fudge it! -Yes! 686 00:56:15,208 --> 00:56:19,083 Fudge it! Fudge it! 687 00:56:19,166 --> 00:56:20,708 I'm so wild. 688 00:56:22,041 --> 00:56:25,500 -You plan on getting in this company? -No! 689 00:56:26,833 --> 00:56:30,458 I just want some peace and quiet. My own place. 690 00:56:31,000 --> 00:56:32,083 Your B&B. 691 00:56:33,583 --> 00:56:35,250 Not follow orders. 692 00:56:35,958 --> 00:56:38,916 -Be able to take care… -Of yourself. 693 00:56:53,291 --> 00:56:57,708 I'm sorry! Thank you. You're really beautiful, 694 00:56:57,791 --> 00:57:02,583 but the company strictly forbids any sexual relations between employees. 695 00:57:02,666 --> 00:57:05,166 I want you to spank me while I spit on your back. 696 00:57:07,125 --> 00:57:08,583 Excuse me? 697 00:57:08,666 --> 00:57:10,708 Technically, it isn't sex. 698 00:57:22,208 --> 00:57:24,500 Yup! That's an erection! 699 00:57:25,541 --> 00:57:26,750 -Let's go! -Man! 700 00:57:27,708 --> 00:57:32,625 -Give me the tobacco. -There you go! 701 00:57:36,166 --> 00:57:37,791 Open it. 702 00:57:37,875 --> 00:57:43,666 So that's what Sartre was saying. 703 00:57:43,750 --> 00:57:47,166 -What's that? I saw you, Onel! -Fuck me! 704 00:57:47,250 --> 00:57:49,708 Stop running away! I saw you! 705 00:57:49,791 --> 00:57:53,333 What's that? I hope it's not what I think! 706 00:57:53,416 --> 00:57:58,125 Mr. Oprea! Apologies, but these thugs brought drugs here. 707 00:57:58,208 --> 00:58:02,083 Even though our policy forbids it! 708 00:58:03,666 --> 00:58:07,708 I'm deeply disappointed that you brought… 709 00:58:09,208 --> 00:58:14,750 this here and hide like rats. 710 00:58:15,500 --> 00:58:18,791 So you can smoke this… 711 00:58:20,041 --> 00:58:22,625 without your bro here! 712 00:58:25,291 --> 00:58:29,166 -You got tobacco? I have paper. -I have everything. 713 00:58:29,250 --> 00:58:31,416 -Nicoleta, sit down! -Sit down! 714 00:58:31,500 --> 00:58:34,541 You scared the shit out of me. 715 00:58:52,333 --> 00:58:54,125 How was it? 716 00:58:54,208 --> 00:58:56,416 That was amazing, bro! 717 00:58:59,708 --> 00:59:02,083 These will make you listen to reggae, Nicoleta! 718 00:59:04,125 --> 00:59:07,791 This is serious stuff, Nicoleta! Serious stuff! 719 00:59:16,666 --> 00:59:19,000 Take it in! Hold it! 720 00:59:19,083 --> 00:59:23,416 Say this: 'The priest's horses go across, smoke is coming out their ass'. 721 00:59:23,500 --> 00:59:27,708 The priest's horses go across, smoke is coming out their ass. 722 00:59:27,791 --> 00:59:29,291 Let it out. Again. 723 00:59:29,375 --> 00:59:32,375 My sweet Mom messaged me asking if I'd eaten. 724 00:59:33,666 --> 00:59:37,875 Truth is, I haven't in two days and everything is closed now. 725 00:59:37,958 --> 00:59:39,416 Indeed, everything is closed. 726 00:59:40,541 --> 00:59:43,375 -Room service is open till midnight. -Shut the hell up! 727 00:59:43,458 --> 00:59:45,625 Shut it, Mike! 728 00:59:45,708 --> 00:59:50,541 -I want real food from home! -Yeah, real food! 729 00:59:50,625 --> 00:59:56,291 I want a juicy sausage like Mom used to make at home 730 00:59:56,375 --> 00:59:58,000 after gassing the pig. 731 00:59:58,083 --> 00:59:59,583 Oh, yeah! Real sausage! 732 00:59:59,666 --> 01:00:05,458 And cow cheese, so white and fresh that you can almost taste the cow. 733 01:00:05,541 --> 01:00:11,125 -True! -And above all, some leek. 734 01:00:11,208 --> 01:00:15,375 Where the fuck would we get leek up here, in the mountains? 735 01:00:15,458 --> 01:00:19,750 -Call a delivery guy. -They won't come! 736 01:00:19,833 --> 01:00:21,875 Hold him down, I'm almost done. 737 01:00:21,958 --> 01:00:23,916 LEEKZILIA 738 01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:26,708 -Do it! -Sit still, dude! 739 01:01:35,083 --> 01:01:39,000 -You sang okay. -Really? 740 01:01:41,083 --> 01:01:42,416 So what? 741 01:01:43,750 --> 01:01:47,291 -For an ugly man. -You're ugly, you… 742 01:01:59,958 --> 01:02:03,333 -Gramercy! -An offering for our dearly departed. 743 01:02:05,666 --> 01:02:12,583 Sometimes I look at the stars and my head starts to hurt. 744 01:02:16,333 --> 01:02:20,208 -That's from the 5G satellites. -What's that? 745 01:02:20,291 --> 01:02:24,666 It's Freemasonry's plan to control us and keep us poor. 746 01:02:25,375 --> 01:02:27,333 You're so smart! 747 01:02:38,000 --> 01:02:42,583 -What's that? -Come on, Vlady! Turn that wheel! 748 01:02:42,666 --> 01:02:46,625 Papa wants a full of Jacks! 749 01:02:46,708 --> 01:02:48,958 If you don't take risks, you don't get drinks! 750 01:02:49,041 --> 01:02:55,125 -Bonus! Go! -Who the fuck calls at this hour? 751 01:02:55,208 --> 01:02:59,458 -With whom do I have the pleasure? -Hello! We're from Vlad Casino. 752 01:02:59,541 --> 01:03:01,208 You went over the losing limit. 753 01:03:01,291 --> 01:03:03,375 Listen to this bitch. 754 01:03:03,458 --> 01:03:06,625 -Okay, Ma'am, just one last spin. -It's not possible. I'm sorry! 755 01:03:06,708 --> 01:03:09,750 -I can feel you're really beautiful. -Still not possible. 756 01:03:09,833 --> 01:03:11,541 Come on, lady! 757 01:03:11,625 --> 01:03:15,375 -What's happening? -She's not letting me spin. 758 01:03:16,958 --> 01:03:21,666 -Hello. I wanna speak to your boss. -My boss? 759 01:03:21,750 --> 01:03:27,375 Vlady! I know he's there. I'm here with the guys. 760 01:03:27,458 --> 01:03:31,791 -Guys, say hello to Vlady! -Hi, Vlady! 761 01:03:31,875 --> 01:03:35,375 -Put Vlady on, please. -Vlady is a cartoon character. 762 01:03:35,458 --> 01:03:37,458 Vlady! My man! Are you there? 763 01:03:38,375 --> 01:03:44,250 Hello, my man! I'm closing for the night! Going home to my little vamps. 764 01:03:44,333 --> 01:03:48,083 -Go to sleep everyone! -Got it! 765 01:03:48,750 --> 01:03:53,333 Thanks, Vlady. Kisses! 766 01:03:53,416 --> 01:03:55,708 Is that a blue whale? 767 01:04:17,791 --> 01:04:20,208 Did you write 'Go, Steaua!'? 768 01:04:49,541 --> 01:04:50,416 So? 769 01:04:52,875 --> 01:04:54,625 What did you do last night? 770 01:04:56,791 --> 01:04:59,458 -Nothing! -I didn't do anything either. 771 01:04:59,541 --> 01:05:05,541 Where'd you go last night, jackass? I could eat you whole, you cute boy, you! 772 01:05:05,625 --> 01:05:06,875 Sit down. 773 01:05:06,958 --> 01:05:10,666 -Why is Oprea allowing this? -Nature's circle of life. 774 01:05:11,375 --> 01:05:14,083 Oprea might be the lion, 775 01:05:14,166 --> 01:05:17,625 but even he fears a money checkup from the jackals. 776 01:05:18,416 --> 01:05:20,458 -Whatever! -My dears-- 777 01:05:21,166 --> 01:05:25,458 today is about learning to cooperate in the most difficult situations, 778 01:05:25,541 --> 01:05:28,375 like a fantastic team. 779 01:05:28,458 --> 01:05:31,875 -'Fan' as in 'fun'. -You go, Nicoleta! 780 01:05:31,958 --> 01:05:34,458 I expect all of you on the Happy Meadow. 781 01:05:35,625 --> 01:05:40,291 -I can't do anything while I'm drunk. -Stop the bullshit! Of course you can. 782 01:05:40,375 --> 01:05:44,416 This country was built on alcohol. It's being lead on alcohol. 783 01:05:44,500 --> 01:05:47,458 -And you need alcohol to live in it. -Yes! 784 01:05:47,541 --> 01:05:50,791 And I told them, "Sure! I'll give it to you." 785 01:05:50,875 --> 01:05:52,875 Please get in line to get it. 786 01:05:53,583 --> 01:05:54,666 Get in line. 787 01:05:59,125 --> 01:06:02,791 This is first class humor. 788 01:06:03,500 --> 01:06:06,750 Nico, I want these guys in Bucharest. 789 01:06:08,041 --> 01:06:11,666 Just come for one year. So I can win the Cup for once. Name your price. 790 01:06:13,750 --> 01:06:16,833 -You got drunk last night? -No, I don't drink. 791 01:06:16,916 --> 01:06:22,208 Look how scared he is! Don't worry, I know my people. 792 01:06:23,541 --> 01:06:25,708 -You see that phony? -Which one? 793 01:06:25,791 --> 01:06:28,583 The one on the left. He thinks he's the big dick here. 794 01:06:28,666 --> 01:06:30,458 He wants to take my place. 795 01:06:31,041 --> 01:06:33,708 I heard you won one point. Good job. 796 01:06:33,791 --> 01:06:36,875 -Thank you. -Not good enough. 797 01:06:37,750 --> 01:06:39,666 You remember our deal. 798 01:06:40,458 --> 01:06:43,250 I want you to win this, not just participate. 799 01:06:50,125 --> 01:06:53,375 Dear all, there's only one outdoor challenge left. 800 01:06:53,458 --> 01:06:58,083 Team spirit means everything. It's time for Team Power. 801 01:06:59,541 --> 01:07:02,750 If the Transylvanians win another one, everything will be lost. 802 01:07:02,833 --> 01:07:05,166 Let's focus and do this. 803 01:07:05,958 --> 01:07:07,208 Courage! 804 01:07:12,333 --> 01:07:14,208 Are you thinking what I'm thinking? 805 01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:17,208 -Synergy! -Let's fuck them! 806 01:07:17,291 --> 01:07:18,750 Not what I had in mind. 807 01:07:30,250 --> 01:07:33,250 Don't let them win. Pull! 808 01:07:41,500 --> 01:07:43,208 How did they manage to win? 809 01:07:43,916 --> 01:07:45,666 Yeah, girls! 810 01:07:45,750 --> 01:07:48,208 Get over here, baby! Come here! 811 01:07:52,500 --> 01:07:54,625 You got a little dirty, girl! 812 01:07:56,583 --> 01:07:59,875 -Are you ready? -Yeah! 813 01:08:02,041 --> 01:08:08,125 -Stay focused! Everything is good! -That's not fair. There's only four left. 814 01:08:08,208 --> 01:08:12,000 Then let's make it fair. Hold this. 815 01:08:16,791 --> 01:08:18,375 Nicoleta! 816 01:08:19,583 --> 01:08:22,791 You're the man! I love you, dude! 817 01:08:24,833 --> 01:08:28,166 -I saved you this spot. -Put your hands there! 818 01:08:29,000 --> 01:08:32,625 -Ready? -Yes! 819 01:08:33,250 --> 01:08:34,375 Go! 820 01:08:36,666 --> 01:08:38,000 Pull! 821 01:08:45,000 --> 01:08:50,208 -Bring on the Cup! -We won! 822 01:08:54,125 --> 01:08:55,458 Oy! 823 01:08:57,291 --> 01:09:00,083 -What was that? -No way we're getting Mr. Oprea dirty. 824 01:09:00,666 --> 01:09:03,583 I have installments. For the house, the car, the dog-- 825 01:09:06,333 --> 01:09:09,666 Dumbass contest! Do you have any idea how much this watch costs? 826 01:09:11,416 --> 01:09:16,500 -Freaking contest! Crazy shit! -They're badmouthing! 827 01:09:17,916 --> 01:09:19,916 Okay, guys. 828 01:09:20,833 --> 01:09:24,250 -Are you thinking what I'm thinking? -Let's fuck them up the ass! 829 01:09:24,333 --> 01:09:26,458 Okay. We should plan this. 830 01:10:05,625 --> 01:10:06,750 Yeah! 831 01:10:17,750 --> 01:10:19,083 Good job? 832 01:10:20,208 --> 01:10:22,083 Good job! 833 01:10:22,166 --> 01:10:28,500 My dears, now it looks like there's a tie. 834 01:10:30,833 --> 01:10:34,125 Let's clean up for the last challenge. 835 01:10:34,208 --> 01:10:38,125 Because Bucharest won by playing dirty in rope pulling, 836 01:10:38,208 --> 01:10:43,166 we have a tie for the first time ever in the Happy Cup. 837 01:10:44,083 --> 01:10:48,791 -Still, FU Global supports equality-- -Enough, Nicoleta! 838 01:10:48,875 --> 01:10:51,625 Someone has to win. 839 01:10:51,708 --> 01:10:55,708 In the middle of the court we have the Happy Flag. 840 01:10:55,791 --> 01:11:01,625 The team that gets it and places it in the adversary's team base, wins. 841 01:11:01,708 --> 01:11:03,875 Good luck! 842 01:11:03,958 --> 01:11:07,875 Transylvania! 843 01:11:16,916 --> 01:11:18,583 Last challenge, everyone. 844 01:11:18,666 --> 01:11:21,791 -No-- -Problem! 845 01:11:22,333 --> 01:11:27,416 Don't forget what we have learned. It's not important for us to win, 846 01:11:27,500 --> 01:11:29,458 but for the others to lose. 847 01:11:29,541 --> 01:11:32,833 No-- problem! 848 01:11:33,791 --> 01:11:35,583 Let's do this! 849 01:11:35,666 --> 01:11:40,833 Make everyone suffer! 850 01:11:40,916 --> 01:11:42,791 Transylvania is number one! 851 01:11:50,833 --> 01:11:53,541 How the hell do these guys shoot so goddamn well? 852 01:12:05,458 --> 01:12:09,791 They're hidden inside the base. Brain, we need a plan. 853 01:12:09,875 --> 01:12:13,458 This is too easy. Like taking candy from a baby. 854 01:12:14,041 --> 01:12:15,291 Everything is set. 855 01:12:19,333 --> 01:12:20,583 Hey! 856 01:12:22,041 --> 01:12:23,791 Onel, don't! 857 01:12:24,708 --> 01:12:26,791 Tits! 858 01:12:30,000 --> 01:12:31,208 Horia, don't! 859 01:13:02,291 --> 01:13:06,708 Horia! 860 01:13:06,791 --> 01:13:12,000 -Is it you, God? -No! I'm the real Horia Brenciu. 861 01:13:12,083 --> 01:13:16,583 -I just can't shake this guy. -Don't worry. It won't be long. 862 01:13:16,666 --> 01:13:18,500 It's not your time yet. 863 01:13:18,583 --> 01:13:22,500 I brought you here, because you need to change. 864 01:13:23,166 --> 01:13:24,541 Horia… 865 01:13:25,208 --> 01:13:28,833 Life should be lived joyfully. Not constantly bickering. 866 01:13:30,291 --> 01:13:31,875 I can't believe this shit! 867 01:13:31,958 --> 01:13:34,916 There won't be anyone left if you continue acting like this. 868 01:13:35,000 --> 01:13:39,041 You, the other Horia Brenciu, who obviously isn't me. 869 01:13:39,125 --> 01:13:42,875 Take it easy. Love your family, help your colleagues. 870 01:13:42,958 --> 01:13:45,666 Emil needs you. 871 01:13:45,750 --> 01:13:48,750 You have to win this or Oprea will fire every one of you. 872 01:13:48,833 --> 01:13:50,958 -What can I do? -It's easy. 873 01:13:52,041 --> 01:13:56,208 Your superpower is to make everyone feel like shit. 874 01:13:56,291 --> 01:13:58,541 -Yeah. -You can use it to do the opposite. 875 01:13:58,625 --> 01:14:03,458 Give Emil back his confidence. Everything is in your hands. 876 01:14:07,791 --> 01:14:09,791 Not literally. 877 01:14:11,000 --> 01:14:16,333 I never thought I'd say this, but thank you, real Horia Brenciu. 878 01:14:16,416 --> 01:14:20,708 Everything will work out. I'll wait for you at the end. 879 01:14:20,791 --> 01:14:23,125 -In Heaven? -At my concert! 880 01:14:23,208 --> 01:14:26,666 On the 27th and 28th November. 881 01:14:26,750 --> 01:14:30,833 HB Orchestra, ballet. Only 140 lei. 882 01:14:30,916 --> 01:14:35,500 By the way, when you wake up, Shabby doesn't brush his teeth! 883 01:14:35,583 --> 01:14:39,208 You got everything under control. Good luck, Horia! 884 01:14:39,291 --> 01:14:41,125 Live your life. 885 01:14:41,208 --> 01:14:44,041 Follow your heart 886 01:14:49,083 --> 01:14:52,458 -What the flying fuck? -I was helping you, bro! 887 01:14:52,541 --> 01:14:54,958 Did you eat onions? Or was it me? 888 01:14:56,708 --> 01:14:57,791 Time out. 889 01:14:59,375 --> 01:15:00,916 Emil? 890 01:15:02,125 --> 01:15:05,958 Come here! Come! 891 01:15:10,000 --> 01:15:14,083 I told you to let me shut them down. They're useless! 892 01:15:14,166 --> 01:15:17,958 Thanks. This year, Cluj will take the Cup again. 893 01:15:18,583 --> 01:15:20,000 Useless! 894 01:15:20,083 --> 01:15:23,166 -What did you do, bossman? -Why didn't you say anything? 895 01:15:23,250 --> 01:15:24,208 Guys! 896 01:15:24,291 --> 01:15:27,250 I can only say insulting things towards capitalism. 897 01:15:27,333 --> 01:15:32,291 Guys, if we win, no one will fire you. If we win, it will be fine. 898 01:15:33,125 --> 01:15:36,875 But what if we don't? I'll die. It's all my fault. 899 01:15:37,666 --> 01:15:40,750 What have you done, Emil? 900 01:15:44,666 --> 01:15:46,333 Are you okay? 901 01:15:47,416 --> 01:15:51,333 Guys, I think I don't hate my life anymore. 902 01:15:55,583 --> 01:15:57,000 What's wrong with him? 903 01:16:01,750 --> 01:16:05,208 Hey! A little panic attack. Don't worry about it. 904 01:16:05,291 --> 01:16:09,416 See you tomorrow at the office. Please, leave the reports on the desk. 905 01:16:11,583 --> 01:16:13,291 I tried! 906 01:16:13,375 --> 01:16:15,791 Why didn't you tell us he wants to shut us down? 907 01:16:16,875 --> 01:16:21,541 I didn't want to put pressure on you. 908 01:16:22,875 --> 01:16:25,708 Do you think you're the only one suffering from anxiety? 909 01:16:26,291 --> 01:16:30,166 Look at this face. See any movement? 910 01:16:30,250 --> 01:16:35,333 No! You know why? Because I've embraced my anxiety. 911 01:16:35,416 --> 01:16:40,416 And when I was hugging it, and felt all warm and cuddly, 912 01:16:40,500 --> 01:16:43,875 I bent forward, I took a rock, and I fucking hit it. 913 01:16:43,958 --> 01:16:46,875 Then it fell to the ground. You know what I did next? 914 01:16:46,958 --> 01:16:51,041 I kneeled down and fucked the bitch. 915 01:16:51,125 --> 01:16:55,416 Got it? I fucked it. And now I'm all good. 916 01:16:55,500 --> 01:17:00,666 What the fuck was that noise? A bear? I don't give a fuck if it's a bear! 917 01:17:01,750 --> 01:17:02,750 Feeling better? 918 01:17:04,291 --> 01:17:05,291 Yes! 919 01:17:07,416 --> 01:17:10,041 Okay! All good. I'm okay now! 920 01:17:10,125 --> 01:17:13,375 Bitch. We don't want to get fired. What's our next move? 921 01:17:14,208 --> 01:17:15,083 What now, boss? 922 01:17:16,666 --> 01:17:18,625 Boss? No one called me 'boss' before. 923 01:17:18,708 --> 01:17:21,583 That's what you call someone you think is beneath you. 924 01:17:22,208 --> 01:17:27,583 I'm serious. You wanted to be leader. Now you can do that. Delegate! 925 01:17:28,291 --> 01:17:30,250 Okay. Come here! 926 01:17:30,333 --> 01:17:33,625 Șerban, you ran from the police all your life, so you're the fastest. 927 01:17:33,708 --> 01:17:35,750 -I need you to distract them. -Yes, boss! 928 01:17:35,833 --> 01:17:37,041 The rest of you… 929 01:17:39,041 --> 01:17:40,250 Carry on! 930 01:17:53,000 --> 01:17:57,916 -Horia! Kill them! Fuck! -Let's kill them, Emil! 931 01:18:00,333 --> 01:18:01,583 Stop! 932 01:18:08,291 --> 01:18:10,208 Wait a second! 933 01:18:11,625 --> 01:18:14,416 -What's the hurry? -Put it down! 934 01:18:16,208 --> 01:18:17,583 Kneel! 935 01:18:20,541 --> 01:18:26,875 -Lick it! Lick it, bitch! -Dorina! That's a bit too much! 936 01:18:28,333 --> 01:18:34,166 Yes! Go! 937 01:18:46,083 --> 01:18:48,166 Yes! 938 01:18:48,250 --> 01:18:50,000 Good job! 939 01:18:54,333 --> 01:18:59,000 Enough! 940 01:18:59,083 --> 01:19:04,125 Congratulations! I have to admit that you proved your value here. 941 01:19:05,916 --> 01:19:10,500 The call center department is an essential part of FU Global. 942 01:19:10,583 --> 01:19:12,708 What do you know? We're essential. 943 01:19:12,791 --> 01:19:16,500 -We might rethink your position. -No, thanks! 944 01:19:19,625 --> 01:19:22,375 -I'm not staying with you either. -What will you do? 945 01:19:24,708 --> 01:19:26,708 I resign from FU Global. 946 01:19:29,541 --> 01:19:32,916 Don't be an idiot. We can rethink your salary as well. 947 01:19:33,708 --> 01:19:37,500 -Let's do it now. -These things are confidential. 948 01:19:37,583 --> 01:19:43,458 -You come to HR, we negotiate, then-- -My salary is 6.650 lei plus meal tickets. 949 01:19:44,125 --> 01:19:46,750 What? 6.650? 950 01:19:46,833 --> 01:19:48,791 I take home 5.200! 951 01:19:48,875 --> 01:19:53,375 I make 4.500 and I go everywhere around the country to sell plastic? 952 01:19:53,458 --> 01:19:55,291 You have salaries? 953 01:19:55,375 --> 01:19:59,125 How do you make that much? You're not even from Cluj. 954 01:19:59,208 --> 01:20:03,041 What does it matter? It's important to stay together… 955 01:20:03,125 --> 01:20:05,500 -Shut up, you're from Ploiești. -Dude! 956 01:20:05,583 --> 01:20:08,208 Raul is from Băicoi. Tase is Moldavian. 957 01:20:08,291 --> 01:20:11,250 Paul is from Călărași. Erika is from the heart of Bucharest. 958 01:20:11,333 --> 01:20:14,583 -Shut the fuck up! -Stop stirring shit up! 959 01:20:15,208 --> 01:20:16,541 -Shut up! -Well-- 960 01:20:16,625 --> 01:20:21,875 It's not okay to talk about your colleagues like that. 961 01:20:21,958 --> 01:20:24,708 Wow! I'm doing okay with 5.000. 962 01:20:24,791 --> 01:20:29,875 What? 5.000? I make 3.500 and do half of her work! 963 01:20:29,958 --> 01:20:32,083 -Fucking bitch! -So what's the problem? 964 01:20:32,166 --> 01:20:36,625 -Should we tell them Oprea's number? -Two and a half inches. 965 01:20:36,708 --> 01:20:40,875 Oh, you mean money? Better not. They'll be scarred for life. 966 01:20:46,083 --> 01:20:48,416 -Nicoleta! -Everyone stop! 967 01:20:48,500 --> 01:20:51,041 Stop talking about your salaries! 968 01:20:52,000 --> 01:20:57,375 Speaking of salaries, what's yours? Mine is four-- 969 01:20:59,666 --> 01:21:00,833 Holy shit! 970 01:21:00,916 --> 01:21:02,875 -What the fuck did you do, bitch? -What? 971 01:21:06,375 --> 01:21:08,166 -Dude! -What's your fucking problem? 972 01:21:10,875 --> 01:21:13,375 Fight! 973 01:21:18,250 --> 01:21:23,791 I'm gonna kill you and your family, and fuck your sister. 974 01:21:26,458 --> 01:21:28,500 Guys! 975 01:21:31,041 --> 01:21:33,375 Let's not resort to violence. 976 01:21:35,041 --> 01:21:38,125 It's not politically correct to hit you, so please carry on. 977 01:21:40,166 --> 01:21:43,041 Don't worry. For me, it's politically correct. 978 01:21:54,708 --> 01:21:56,458 Nobody hits my bitch! 979 01:22:01,125 --> 01:22:05,708 Stop hitting your heads. We don't have insurance for that! 980 01:22:05,791 --> 01:22:08,291 Why are you so upset? 981 01:22:08,375 --> 01:22:12,208 You can hit me with some head anytime, if you know what I mean. 982 01:22:13,000 --> 01:22:15,083 Don't touch her! 983 01:22:25,791 --> 01:22:31,500 Mihai, now you can call yourself a true resident of Craiova. 984 01:22:31,583 --> 01:22:33,833 Let me kiss that little dick! 985 01:22:35,875 --> 01:22:41,916 -Allow me to have the last hit. -It will be an honor. 986 01:22:44,166 --> 01:22:47,958 Since you southerners started moving to Cluj, 987 01:22:48,041 --> 01:22:50,500 rent has been going up constantly. 988 01:22:51,916 --> 01:22:53,416 Let him go! 989 01:22:54,750 --> 01:22:56,166 What are you doing? 990 01:22:59,625 --> 01:23:00,958 Take it easy! 991 01:23:02,375 --> 01:23:06,416 -You okay? -I can pawn this off for 3.000! 992 01:23:11,458 --> 01:23:16,250 Feels so good! I haven't hit anyone in ages. 993 01:23:16,333 --> 01:23:18,791 I'll hit the fudge out of you, Mr. Oprea. 994 01:23:18,875 --> 01:23:24,833 Emil! Fucking swear like a man. You resigned! 995 01:23:25,625 --> 01:23:29,375 Fuck me! I'll suck your dick! 996 01:23:30,041 --> 01:23:32,541 Put your mother's ass on my face! 997 01:23:32,625 --> 01:23:36,208 -Too much! -Emil! That's too much! 998 01:23:36,291 --> 01:23:37,500 Too much? 999 01:23:40,375 --> 01:23:43,875 -Is your erection back? -How do you know? 1000 01:23:45,666 --> 01:23:50,666 -How do you know this, dickhead? -It was obvious. 1001 01:23:51,291 --> 01:23:55,333 Twelve hours at the office. Overtime on weekends. 1002 01:23:55,416 --> 01:23:58,000 I've been there too, Emil. 1003 01:23:58,625 --> 01:24:03,541 I'm sorry things went this way and I didn't know how to value you better. 1004 01:24:03,625 --> 01:24:06,291 Not as an employee. As a friend. 1005 01:24:08,666 --> 01:24:11,041 -Really? -Nope! 1006 01:24:18,916 --> 01:24:20,208 ONE YEAR LATER 1007 01:24:27,333 --> 01:24:31,625 Did I wear you out last night? I'll wear the leash tonight. 1008 01:24:34,541 --> 01:24:37,375 A hand, maybe? 1009 01:24:45,083 --> 01:24:47,291 Yeah. Easy! 1010 01:24:50,500 --> 01:24:55,083 I'm okay, Mom! I went to the doctor, I'm fucking fine! 1011 01:24:55,166 --> 01:24:56,333 Sorry. 1012 01:24:57,583 --> 01:25:02,708 Maria? She's fine. Shy, as usual. 1013 01:25:03,375 --> 01:25:06,041 Kisses! 1014 01:25:15,083 --> 01:25:21,833 -Boss! Or is it 'owner'? -Owner only after I pay the installments. 1015 01:25:21,916 --> 01:25:25,000 -Hi, ma'am! -I'm so happy you guys are here! 1016 01:25:25,750 --> 01:25:27,833 Did we forget you here last year? 1017 01:25:35,458 --> 01:25:38,375 These are Vadim and Decebal. 1018 01:25:38,458 --> 01:25:43,208 Yes! We'll schedule something for Monday. 1019 01:25:43,291 --> 01:25:47,333 Talk later. I'm at the team building now with my employees. 1020 01:25:49,708 --> 01:25:51,291 How is the entrepreneur's life? 1021 01:25:51,375 --> 01:25:54,208 -You tell us. -Depends on your associates. 1022 01:25:54,291 --> 01:25:55,833 FU A.I. 1023 01:25:55,916 --> 01:25:57,625 What tattoo? 1024 01:25:58,291 --> 01:26:01,291 Should I send some guys to 'talk' some sense into you? 1025 01:26:02,416 --> 01:26:07,708 I know where you live. With me! Daddy loves you! Bye! 1026 01:26:08,291 --> 01:26:13,250 -Family life, you know how it is. -Welcome to Kind Reminder. 1027 01:26:14,666 --> 01:26:17,375 Have a peaceful team building, `guys`! 1028 01:26:19,958 --> 01:26:22,208 -Good afternoon! -Welcome! 1029 01:26:23,333 --> 01:26:24,708 Oh God! 1030 01:26:27,625 --> 01:26:29,458 Who are those? 1031 01:26:37,250 --> 01:26:39,083 The stags from Craiova. 1032 01:26:42,000 --> 01:26:47,041 To get completely fucked up is a true art! Let's paint with our livers! 1033 01:26:51,625 --> 01:26:54,125 THE END 1034 01:26:56,875 --> 01:26:58,916 TEAMBUILDING WILL BE BACK 1035 01:30:37,250 --> 01:30:43,541 This movie was made possible with the help of the Romanian Government. 1036 01:30:48,875 --> 01:30:51,000 Probably.