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Come on! Sing with us.
Sorry, Dad, but a family sing-along
isn't gonna make me feel better about moving.
Look, Syd.
I know you're gonna miss Brooklyn. Okay?
But you won't miss the smell of hydrogen sulfide every morning.
Because Bridge Hollow smells like… …apples
and a hint of white privilege.
And it was named "safest small town in the US" last ten years running. So…
Give Bridge Hollow a chance. Small towns can be full of surprises.
And speaking of surprises…
Whoa!
What?
Ahoy there, matey!
Is it me, or did we just drive in to a Party City?
Look! There it is.
Home sweet home.
Hey, Syd! Pop quiz.
If we left Brooklyn 20 minutes after the movers,
and they show up in the next two, how much faster did we--
Whoa! Check out those zombies!
Oh yeah. Okay.
That's not disturbing at all.
Hey, babe, let's not invite those neighbors over for dinner.
Dad, since we're not living in an apartment anymore,
maybe we can finally decorate our house for Halloween!
Uh…
-You didn't answer my question. -Mom, can we get a ruling?
-Yes, I mean-- -You gonna take me to Family Court?
It would be nice to fit in with the neighborhood.
But, you know, we're gonna be so busy moving in and getting ready for school.
-The court rules in favor of Dad. -Mmm.
I'm sorry, baby.
Maybe next year?
The system's rigged.
Okay. Let's go.
It's the movers!
Careful. Fragile package.
-Ha, ha, ha. Thank you.
-Kid's room. Upstairs. -Okay.
Hey, neighbor! What's shakin'?
John Sullivan. But everyone around here calls me Sully.
Except for my ex-wife. I don't wanna tell you what she calls me.
-Howard Gordon. My wife calls me "honey."
-That's… That's tough. -Yeah.
Well, hey, listen, you picked a hell of a time to move in.
As you can see, everybody around here kind of goes crazy around Halloween, huh?
Yeah. It's a little ridiculous, right?
Huh?
No, I meant, uh, "crazy" as in "good."
-Oh yeah. I-- -Yeah.
-Really? Yeah. -Yeah! Yeah.
See, the way it works here is everybody kind of picks a theme,
and then you go big-time on that theme. Really lean into it.
You gotta commit.
This year, I pulled out all the stops.
The Walking Dead.
-Booyah! Yeah…
Not a fan. They jumped the shark when they killed Glenn.
Yeah, that was a loss for everybody.
-So you got a theme? -No.
-You like werewolves? -Not particularly.
'Cause I got a whole shed full of werewolves.
That's real wolf fur. I don't even know if it's legal.
And I don't care. 'Cause it's Halloween.
Uh, no, thanks. We're good.
-Really? -We don't decorate.
Jehovah's Witness.
No, I… just… think it's… kind of silly.
-What? -Do you still believe in Santa Claus?
Why? What have you heard? Is he okay?
Nice meeting you.
Great meeting you too, Howard. Hey, you want that werewolf?
I can get that werewolf into your yard in five minutes. It's not a problem.
-No, I'm– We're good. -Wife got you on a short…
-Yeah, I get it. -Go. Turn around. Keep going.
So, how unhappy do you think Syd is about the move?
One to ten?
They haven't invented a scale big enough to measure this one.
I don't know.
I feel like she's turning into somebody I don't even recognize anymore.
Well, that's what teenagers do, baby.
They… they grow up. They become their own person.
And you have to let her.
And what's that supposed to mean?
You pushed her to be on the science team.
Yeah, because she loves science.
And science…
is awesome.
She wanted to take ballet.
Right.
But now, our baby girl can defend herself.
You can't fight off a mugger doing a pirouette.
Howard, this isn't Brooklyn.
The scariest things around here are the decorations on people's lawns.
-Just…
give her some space.
Okay.
I'm putting it up.
Look, Howard! Don't you think that would be perfect for my bake shop?
Are you sure about this?
Running a bakery is a lot different than being a lawyer.
I'm sure. I even decided on a name.
The Bridge Hollow Bakery.
Might wanna workshop that one.
-Hey, Mom. -Huh.
Are you gonna sell things you normally make
or things that taste good?
Ha ha. I know you guys usually hate on anything without gluten or butter,
but the PTA moms in Brooklyn love my sugar-free pumpkin pie
with almond-powder crust.
-And this town is gonna love them too. -I'm sure they will.
-Hey, there they are! The Gordons!
Baby?
Why does the crazy white lady in the pumpkin car know who we are?
You're probably wondering,
"How does this crazy white lady in a pumpkin car know who we are?"
-No… Yeah. -Tammy Rice. The mayor around here.
Don't be too impressed. It's a volunteer position.
I also teach piano and drive an Uber.
You'd be surprised how many people wanna ride in this pumpkin.
Hey, Howard, your first ride's on me, huh?
-Big science teacher from the big city!
Ah, no, thank you.
And what is all the signs up for Stingy Jack?
Who is he? The town founder?
Wait, you've never heard of Stingy Jack?
Okay. Well, I turned his story into a sweater.
-So…
According to an old Irish legend,
there once lived a wicked man named Stingy Jack.
And he was such a jerk
that the villagers finally had enough, and…
But the devil felt sorry for Jack, so he made him a lantern.
A pumpkin carved out with a flame from the fires of hell.
Hmm?
Every Halloween, Jack would return to our town, Bridge Hollow,
to seek his revenge on the descendants of the villagers who did him in.
Well, that's what we tell the tourists. Am I right?
Wait, so that's why they call them jack-o'-lanterns!
Hey, Syd, what do you say we go hit up the local museum
where we can learn some actual facts.
Uh, no. I'm gonna explore this town
and find something that's actually fun to do.
She'll be fine. Safest small town in the US, remember?
That's right, but don't let any of those sore losers in Oaktown
hear you say that.
They didn't even make the top ten.
Uh, so, is there gonna be any food at this festival?
Of course! Yeah, a lot of the local stores are setting up booths.
We got hot dogs, funnel cakes, chowder, everything.
Uh, is there gonna be any artisanal vegan baked goods?
Hmm. I don't know what that means. But sure, why not?
Whoa!
-You okay? -Yeah, I'm good. Thanks.
What were you guys doing in there?
Grave-digging.
You can get really good money on the dark web for a fully intact corpse.
I'm kidding.
Show her, Mario.
Um, testing out this new spectral EM four detection app.
It measures electromagnetic field fluctuations.
Which is what happens
whenever the electrical charges in the air are disturbed by a--
Ghost or other paranormal phenomena.
So, what are you guys?
Like, the Bridge Hollow High Paranormal Society or something?
See? I told you the shirts were lame.
No, I like them.
Who is this girl?
Guys, don't be weird.
I'm Jamie. That's Ramona. This is Mario.
Sydney.
Wait. Sydney Gordon?
You and your folks just moved to the old Hawthorne house.
The what house?
Come on. There's something you need to see.
Madam Hawthorne. One of the preeminent spiritualist mediums of the 20th century.
She lived and died in your house.
Rumor has it she might still be there.
Wait, so I might live in a haunted house?
This place just got a lot cooler.
So, you're, like, into this kind of stuff.
Yeah. Kinda. I was gonna start a Paranormal Club at my school, but…
You didn't wanna be a social leper.
No. My dad wanted me to join the science team instead.
Wow, he… sounds so… awesome.
So, have you experienced anything strange in your house since you moved in?
-Cold drafts? -Power fluctuations?
Voices from beyond the grave?
Well, I did hear this weird noise the other night,
and it was definitely not the house settling.
Well, in that case, we have some homework for you.
Okay, not exactly sure how this works,
but here goes nothing.
Madam Hawthorne.
Can you hear me?
H…
E…
R…
Here?
You're here?
Hello?
"SJ 1927."
Ah!
Mmm.
So you guys are not gonna believe this,
but this house is totally haunted.
What?
-No! For real!
By an old Gypsy woman named Hawthorne.
She used to live here in this house.
And for some reason, she gave me her pumpkin, but…
Oh, I get it. And that's why we should move back to Brooklyn.
I'm not making this up. Haven't you heard all the freaky noises?
It's an old house, sweetie. Old houses are like old people.
-They make freaky noises. -Yeah, and they're drafty.
It's the wood. It expands. It contracts.
It's not ghosts. It's science.
Let me tell you what happened. I was using the Ouija board app--
Oh, come on. A Ouija board is nonsense,
and an app is even worse.
What's the ghost supposed to do? Get a Wi-Fi password?
Ow!
I don't know why I even bothered. I should have known.
Known what?
That you would make fun of me for believing in things like this.
Just like you always do.
I… I do not. Do I… do I make fun…
You just did.
Well, it's not what I meant.
I just want you to start looking at the world scientifically.
Then you'll realize that all these crazy things
have a much more realistic explanation.
So you weren't making fun of me. You just think I'm stupid. Okay.
Wait. I… I didn't say you were stupid!
Just ignorant.
-I'm about to smack you.
Oh! There he is! In the flesh. The man, the myth, the legend.
Principal Pretty-Boy Floyd.
Good to see you again, buddy.
Thanks for the help getting us settled. I appreciate it.
Oh, no, Howard. Thank you for stepping in midsemester.
You really saved my behind.
Boy, when Mr. Viveros won the lottery
and took off to Key West with his mistress,
it really put us in a pickle.
-Yeah… -Oh…
-You don't play the lottery, do you? -No.
Okay.
-And the marriage? -Solid.
-Really? -Jay-Z/Beyoncé.
-I'll show you the classroom. -All right.
Well, here it is.
Check it out.
Wow! We didn't have all this in Brooklyn.
-Yeah. -This is great.
Brand-new microscopes.
-Yeah. Mm-hmm. -Bunsen burner at every station.
-These are yours now. -Thank you.
-We got a brand-new sterilizer here. -Nice.
-Chemical cabinet, fully stocked. -Okay.
-Whoa!
Ah, look at this!
The kids on the science team rigged this one up for you.
-You like it? -No, no, no.
They call him Albert Spine-stein.
Get-- Ooh.
Get… Get him off.
That's funny.
Did we get you?
Yeah, you got me.
Yeah, Howard.
Come on in, kids.
This is, uh, Mr. Gordon, your new science teacher.
He'll be with you for the rest of the semester.
I have never been so scared. When I opened the trunk,
I thought it was gonna be, like, this severed head inside.
Turned out it was just some broke-ass pumpkin.
Oh, that reminds me. I…
I don't know what you got planned for tonight,
but we'll be back up at the school,
working the… the "Halls of Horror."
You should come. It's… sick.
We go every year. So it's obviously super cool.
Okay. It's a little cheesy.
But everyone wears a costume, and it's fun to check them all out.
Yeah, sounds really cool, guys, but I don't really have a costume.
My family doesn't really do Halloween.
What does that even mean?
It's my dad's thing to hate on Halloween. He says he thinks it's stupid.
This guy just doesn't get it.
But I honestly think, for some dumb reason,
it actually freaks him out.
No pressure, but you know where to find us if you change your mind.
-Okay. -Bye.
Hmm. Screw it.
-Hey, do you want a headband? -Oh! Thanks.
-Trick or treat!
Oh!
Kid, never ever jump out the bushes on a Black man.
Leave candy on your porch next time. It's Halloween.
Boy, you better get your little behind off my… property.
Aw, come on, Sully.
A rubber bat.
Trick or treat!
Sydney!
Hi, Dad.
Okay.
Okay. I see what you're doing.
What am I doing?
If I had to guess, I'd say trying to annoy me.
No, I'm trying to have fun. Annoying you is just the bonus.
Look, I'm sorry if you thought I was making fun of you.
And for moving me here.
-I did that for our family. -And for treating me like a child.
You are a child.
Do you want to know something, Dad? I'm done being treated like a baby.
I'm 14. I can make my own decisions,
starting with what holidays I choose to celebrate.
Oh, and you know that science team you love so much?
Yeah, well, I hate it, and I quit.
Yeah?
Well, how about this?
You're grounded.
What? Why?
Because I'm your father, and I said so.
Now go to your room.
Hmm?
You heard me. I said, go to your roo--
Cute. Little trick candle?
Little magnesium on the wick?
I got something for you. Hmm? How about that? Hmm?
What about that?
Okay.
How do you like those apples?
You and your little tricks. Thinking you all grown.
-Dad, it was still lit!
-Relax. Saliva neutralized-- What the…
Oh shit!
Hey, watch your mouth!
-Ah, shit! Shit!
Ah!
Oh!
Come here! Come.
I can't believe you brought a bat into our home!
Dad! Do you really think I went into some cave,
found a live bat, and brought it home?
Not all bats live in caves.
Actually, some species, they live under bridges or in trees.
You know, it's funny, the western red bat--
Dad, the bat isn't real!
-Whoa!
It sure looked real to me!
Where is it?
I don't know.
Dad!
Look how much candy I got.
If you're trying to annoy me,
it worked.
Oh, it worked.
Uh, Dad, I think something really weird is going on.
-And I'm gonna find out what it is. -Oh, no, you're not.
You're grounded, remember?
Wait, who… who are you calling?
You can call God for all I care, so… I said what I said.
-Hey, Syd, what's up? -Mom, there's some spooky sh…
"stuff" happening tonight. I know it sounds weird,
but the Halloween decorations are coming to life.
I want to find out what's going on, but Dad won't let me.
Gimme the phone.
-Emily, listen, your daughter is trippin'. - No. Think about your daughter.
She wanted to stay in Brooklyn. And you said no.
-I know, but you-- -She wanted to decorate the house.
And you said no.
She wanted to take ballet.
-Baby, you said no. -But… but that's for her safety.
We are not saying no to this. It's Halloween. Let her have some fun.
Put me on speaker.
The court rules in favor…
of Sydney.
-Yes! Damn.
The system works.
Okay.
You can go, but I'm going with you.
-What? -Look.
Halloween brings out all the crazies, even in a safe town like this.
No. Mm-mm. Tomorrow, you get space. Tonight, you get me.
Court agrees!
Yeah!
Have fun, you guys.
Come by the Stingy Jack Festival. I have treats waiting.
Brains…
Don't worry, kids. These, uh, zombies won't bite.
Or will they?
I'm just busting your beans. Get in there. Get the good stuff.
Booyah!
That worked too good. That was too good.
You should've seen your faces. You look ridiculous.
You got nailed. You got smoked.
I'm just kidding. You guys recovered. That was a good recovery. I like that.
Come on, grab some stuff here.
There you go. That's for you. Little something for you.
A couple for you. There you go.
Enjoy it.
You're welcome.
Be careful out there. A lot of freaks.
Back to bed, Mrs. Sullivan.
Eh.
Come on.
What the…
Where'd you come from?
Hey, get out of here. Beat it. Will ya?
-Feisty little one, huh?
Didn't see that coming, did you?
All right, let's go. Get out of here.
See, Dad? I told you.
The bat's eyes were glowing red, just like this pumpkin.
Just like the witches from across the street.
Right.
Witches coming to life.
Okay. So what's your plan?
Drive around town, looking for Halloween decorations with red eyes?
Someone has to do something, and it might as well be--
Wait, Syd. Where are you going?
Get off me!
Brains…
What the…
-Brains… -Whoa!
Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
Oh, come on now. Oh, here we go.
Now those are some impressive animatronics.
Way more impressive than a… stupid werewolf in the shed.
Eat lead, bastard!
Oh yeah.
Oh! That worked. Okay.
Come on. Well…
Oh no!
Brains…
Now, that's a bit much.
Dad, we have to do something.
It-- Relax, Syd. Okay?
He's just putting on a show for the trick-or-treaters.
-Although, that is disturbingly realistic.
-I'll do it myself. -Wait. Syd, wait.
What? Hey, what are you gonna do?
-That… that's not nice, Sydney. -Oh, yeah!
That was awesome! Oh! Good job.
Brains…
Okay, that-- All right. That's enough play, guys.
Brains…
-Booyah! -Holy cow!
Syd, are you okay?
What happened here? Did all these things short-circuit?
I'll tell you what happened here. One of these zombies just bit me! Huh?
Oh God. Does that mean I'm gonna turn into one of them?
Is that how this works?
You can't let me turn. You gotta shoot me. Blow my head off, man.
What? No, I'm not gonna shoot you!
-I don't wanna turn into a zombie! -You're not gonna turn into a zombie!
-Zombies are fictional creations. Okay?
Dead bodies don't have functioning nervous systems,
which means they can't move.
Basic biology.
I didn't understand a single word you just said.
Maybe I should handcuff myself to the porch just in case.
Or you can get a tetanus shot.
Yeah. Good call, Bill Nye the Science Guy.
-Burn.
You smoked.
Dad, the zombies' eyes were glowing red
just like the bat and like the flame in Hawthorne's pumpkin.
This all has something to do with her. I know it does.
-I'm gonna try to contact her.
Oh, come on, not the Ouija board app. Give me a break.
Maybe there's another option we can explore.
Okay. What do you suggest? I'm all ears.
How do you propose we talk to Hawthorne? She's dead.
No, she's not.
No.
-You're talking about old Madam Hawthorne?
Yeah. Oh yeah.
She's as dead as one of these brain-eating bastards.
But her granddaughter Victoria…
…she's still sucking air.
No…
Even the retirement home is decorated?
-Who wants to trick-or-treat here?
Stay alert. An attack could come from anywhere at any time.
Yeah. We're in real danger here.
A bumpkin?
No. A pumpkin. With a "P."
It belonged to your grandmother, Josephine Hawthorne.
That wasn't no pumpkin. It was a turnip.
No, actually, I'm pretty sure it was a pumpkin.
I know a soddin' turnip when I see one, Chachi.
-Chachi? -Miss Hawthorne.
Can you tell us about the turnip?
Ah… It… It was a long time ago.
I got this, Syd.
Look.
I don't wanna be here any longer than I have to be, so…
Oh!
Take it easy.
You can have this after you tell my daughter
everything she wants to know.
-Okay?
How y'all doing? You need any juice?
It was a dark and stormy night.
Of course it was.
-Why is it never humid and sunny– -Oh my God…
Okay, go.
Mystics from all over the world
showed up to our house at the behest of my Grandma Jo.
Madam Hawthorne.
Hurry, we don't have much time.
It's almost midnight.
Their plan was to use her grimoire,
a book of ancient spells.
All right. Let's get to bewitching.
They held a séance to conjure the spirit himself
and finally put an end to the curse of Stingy Jack.
Wait. Stingy Jack. He's real?
He's real, all right.
I seen him with my own two eyes.
With those two eyes?
-Stop. -Okay, I'm sorry. Continue.
That old lantern was a gift from the devil himself.
'Twas what allowed Jack to move between this world and the spirit world
so that every Halloween,
he could torment the folks of Bridge Hollow.
But the deal was he could only stay here
from sundown till midnight.
Midnight, Eastern Standard Time?
-Dad. -What?
But Jack wasn't satisfied with just one night a year.
He wanted every night to be Halloween.
Turns out there was a loophole.
Jack could stay in our world forever,
free to spread his mayhem
if, at the stroke of midnight,
he found another soul to take his place in the ever after.
But on Halloween night, 1927,
my Grandma Jo put an end to the old bastard's plan.
Using magic to trap the ghost of Stingy Jack
inside his own lantern.
So long, Jack.
As long as that old lantern remains unlit,
you kids got nothing at all to worry about.
Ew!
What if we kind of sort of relit it?
Oh, then you're screwed.
-Hey, Tammy, how are you? -Not great.
Been getting lots of reports of decorations
going missing from people's lawns.
Those Oaktown hoodlums sure love pulling pranks.
-So, what do we have here? -Oh, well, help yourself.
Everything you see here is gluten-free, soy-free, and vegan.
Oh. Just what people want on Halloween. Healthy snacks.
Here. Try this.
It is a red velvet muffin
made with beetroot instead of artificial dyes.
Hmm.
Wow.
You can really taste the beetroot.
-Mm-hmm. -Mm-hmm.
You got your beet. You got your root.
All mixed in there.
-Yes. -Hey, have you seen our Stingy Jack?
No…
So the winner of the pumpkin carving contest…
-Mm-hmm. -…gets placed on top as the head.
I'm gonna go get something to wash it down.
Whoo. Gets… gets you in a chokehold.
So, what do you think?
I think Crypt Keeper fairy girl is one bird short of a cuckoo clock.
And that old lantern is clearly a pumpkin.
Dad. Seriously? What if Victoria's telling the truth?
What if it wasn't Madam Hawthorne I was talking to on that Ouija board?
What if it was Stingy Jack who tricked me into finding his old lantern.
Then, when I relit it, I woke him up or let him out,
and now he's making all the Halloween decorations come to life.
Oh, come on, Syd.
Halloween decorations coming to life? That's just not something that happens.
Now that is a great costume.
Kind of poor taste for a nursing home though.
Nope, not today.
Oh, wow.
That looks just like an Australian funnel-web spider.
Atrax robustus.
Um…
Is that bad?
Well, it would be. If it was real.
Good thing these are just plastic.
Boop!
They're alive!
It's impossible.
Oh!
Stay here.
Okay.
Uh…
Aha!
Ah!
Hey, Syd! Pop quiz.
What chemicals found in common household cleaning supplies
can be combined to create a highly acidic solvent?
Maybe now is not the time for a science lesson!
You got a good point there.
I had it set to "mist."
It would've been so much cooler if it was "spray."
Syd!
Oh!
Get out! Get out!
Go! Go! Go! Go!
Oh my God! Please help me.
Hey, Death. He's older than me.
The hydrogen peroxide combines with the acetic acid in bleach
to make peracetic acid.
Super corrosive.
Oh no.
Wasn't there a giant spider on the roof when we walked in?
Syd!
Come on. Come on!
Oh sh--
Whoa!
Okay. Easy, spider. Okay, listen.
I… I know you're pissed.
I hated the ending of Charlotte's Web too.
They did Charlotte dirty. It should've been the pig.
Hey. Itsy-Bitsy.
-We've got to get out of here. -Okay.
Okay.
There's definitely something unusual going on in Bridge Hollow.
Oh, you think?
But there has to be a logical, scientific explanation.
Did you not just see what happened in there?
No, I… I saw it.
And clearly, there's something crazy going on.
But just because it's crazy doesn't mean it can't be explained.
What are you talking about?
Dad, what is it?
It was Halloween 1985.
My friends and I, we were out trick-or-treating
when they dared me to go into this abandoned building
to prove I wasn't chicken.
But I made a wrong step. I fell through the floorboards
into the basement.
And that's when I saw them.
Skeletons.
Hundreds.
They were everywhere.
And they were alive.
If that happened to you then,
why don't you think it's happening now?
Because it didn't happen to me.
A month later, I'm in science class.
My teacher tells us that a concussion can cause temporary hallucinations.
And that was the answer.
From that day on, I knew everything had an explanation.
-It was science. Not magic. -So…
It's "eureka!" Not "abracadabra."
Then explain to me how Granddaddy Long Legs came alive
and tried to eat us.
Well,
maybe it was a gas leak causing mass hallucinations.
Or maybe it's Stingy Jack.
Well, whatever it is… it's spreading like a virus.
Which makes sense.
Because it did start with a bat.
Okay, hear me out. Let's just say hypothetically, this is Jack.
Victoria said her grandmother trapped Jack inside that old lantern.
Maybe we could do the same thing.
-Re-trap him. -Okay, let's say you're right.
Hypothetically, how do we go about doing something completely fictional
and not at all real, like trapping a ghost?
I don't know.
But… I know some kids who might.
All right, Syd. Stay close.
Syd. Syd. Sydney.
That's not close!
Hey, guys. Thanks again for helping me tonight.
-Where are we? -Here's what we know.
If you wanna trap a ghost, you're gonna need a spell.
Preferably an old-world Romani binding spell.
-Know any Gypsy witches? -Not any that are still alive.
Uh… Is that your dad?
Sydney!
Ah.
Yeah.
Dad, guys. Guys, Dad.
Hi. What's up, players?
Dap it up. Sideways. No?
No love? Okay.
I like the costumes. Nice. Let me guess.
Uh… …Power Rangers.
Madonna.
Uh… Puerto Rican Prince.
You are so old.
So anything else?
Yeah. I, uh, found this article online
that says when Madam Hawthorne died, they auctioned off some of her stuff.
One of the items listed is her old grimoire. Spell book.
I know.
That's it! Dad, we need that book.
Okay, Rico Suave,
does the article say who bought it?
Yeah. This… fancy-pants antiques dealer.
Sheldon Skinner.
Oh, wait, guys. Skinner's here.
Uh, he's wearing a Harvard sweatshirt and some of those go-to-hell pants.
He bought tickets for the Kreepy Karnevil in the pumpkin patch.
Then we have to split up.
Okay. Take these.
What are go-to-hell pants? And am I wearing them?
Did you really mean what you said earlier about quitting the science team?
Dad, I don't know. It was really fun when I was younger,
and it was obvious you really wanted me to do it.
Just like you really wanted me to do karate.
Step right up, ladies and ghouls, to a freak-tacular sideshow
of thrills and chills, here in the Kreepy Karnevil.
That's not how you spell either of those words.
Dad.
Look.
That means Jack is here.
-What's wrong with you?
Why would you do that?
I am so sorry.
We thought you were someone else.
Oh my God…
Oh, baby. I know. Okay.
Yeah, you never really liked clowns.
Especially ones with axes.
Yeah.
Wait, Syd!
They're just actors.
Hey.
I don't think you're allowed to touch me unless I sign a waiver.
Hey. Okay.
Let's calm down now.
Just knocked your little infant friend out.
These aren't actors?
Sydney, they aren't actors!
-Repeat! The clowns are not actors!
So you no longer have the book.
No, I sold it a while ago.
I'd assumed Hawthorne's effects were of some value,
but apparently, the only people who care about that junk
are nutjobs and occultists.
No offense.
When you say occultists, you mean like Satanists?
Not like.
Precisely.
Do you remember the name of the person you sold it to?
No, I don't remember his name,
but he had a shipping address I will never forget.
666 Elm Street.
Like I said, nutjobs.
Let's go to the ticket booth first.
-If she's not there-- -Killer clowns! Killer clowns!
-Uh, Sydney, what's going on? -Stingy Jack! He's here!
-What? -Where?
Everywhere!
Syd! No!
It's called the Halls of Horror.
Why couldn't you just go to the pumpkin patch?
It's a dead end.
-Guys! Over here!
Okay. Which way?
Eeny, meeny, miney…
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
Sydney!
Dad?
Sydney!
Dad!
Sydney!
Dad?
-Hey! Hey. It's me. It's me.
Dad!
-It's okay, kiddo. -Look, there's an exit sign.
We're almost out.
All right. Back up. Back up.
Okay, Bozo. I'm gonna wipe that crooked smile right off your face.
Come on. Come on. Let you know, Homey don't play that.
Oh!
Dad!
-Get him.
Ow!
Oh, night night!
Oh, oh! Nice!
You know, I softened him up for you, but, uh, way to finish the job.
Sure, you did.
Um, guys?
-Hey.
Why does a clown need an axe anyway?
Go!
To the right! That way! We parked out front.
-Okay, now what? -Um, plan B. Bikes!
Well, that would be great if my dad knew how to ride a bike.
You don't know how to ride a bike?
I was taught books could take me wherever I needed to go.
Okay, bikes it is. Go! Go! Go!
This thing is growing exponentially.
Each creature spreads it to another, which spreads it to another and another.
At its current rate, it'll take over Bridge Hollow by midnight.
And according to Victoria, if we can't stop Jack by then,
he could find a soul to swap for his own.
Then every day will be Halloween.
-Maybe we should call the police. -Dad.
Do you really think the cops are going to believe any of this?
-You didn't even believe it. -Because it doesn't make sense.
Not everything has to, Dad.
And now the moment you've all been waiting for.
Who will be the face of this year's Stingy Jack?
And the winner is…
Dan Brown!
Oh my God! Oh my God!
In your face, Gary! In your face!
I did it, Ma! I did it!
We gotta! We gotta!
-Tammy… -No, no, no, no.
Now let's get this guy up on old Stingy Jack.
-Okay, this is it. -No! No, no, no, no, no, no!
Okay.
I'm gonna assume… that wasn't intentional.
Bones.
Why does it have to be bones?
Um… You know, maybe… maybe I'll just stay right here.
What? No, come on.
Whoa!
Okay.
Are we sure about this?
I've never met a real devil worshiper before.
Should we be wearing crucifixes or something?
Only one way to find out.
Principal Floyd?
Well, hey there, everyone. And, Howard, what a pleasant surprise.
You all trick-or-treating tonight?
Well, you're in luck because this year, I've got…
miniature toothpastes.
-So, uh, Floyd. -Uh-huh.
What are you some type of Satanist or something?
-Oh jeepers. No, Howard. -What the hell?
I'm a principal in a very small town with a very big Christian population.
No, no, no. I just, uh, collect things.
You know, some people collect stamps. Some people collect butterflies.
I collect objects
related to the eternal damnation of the human soul.
Aha!
I believe this… is what you're looking for.
Okay, here it is.
"Captus Exspiravit."
"Cum his verbis O spiritus."
Dad. You know Latin. What does it say?
With these words, O spirit,
I banish you to captivity
binding you to blah, blah, blah, blah…
Right on. So how does it work?
Well, it's your typical, run-of-the-mill binding spell.
You find a nice receptacle, right? Then you get close enough to your target.
Be careful.
Then you say these magic words, and boom.
-You've trapped yourself a ghost. -How close do we need to get?
I don't know. I mean, look,
there's no hard-and-fast rules with these things.
I do know this.
When you say this spell, you have to believe it.
-Mm-hmm. -I mean, truly believe it.
In your bones.
Please tell me you ordered pizza.
Oh, you must not tip well.
-Let's go, move it.
-You just had to put helmets on them? -I thought it would be cute.
Sydney! Save the grimoire!
Get the book out of here.
Syd!
I got it!
The spell!
-We gotta get out of here. -We can get out the back.
No! Dad, we have to get that spell. It's the only way we can fix this.
We can't fix anything if we're dead. Now, come on and bring your little ass.
-Let's go! Let's go! Come on! -Hurry!
Go! Get in the basement!
Go! Go! Go!
Get in the basement!
-Go! -Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
Mario, help him!
Dad. Do something!
Dad! What is wrong with you?
The skeletons.
-They're coming through. -What do we do?
So it's unexplainable.
So what? They're real.
You know what you can do to something that's real?
You can kick its ass.
You can take the girl out of Brooklyn,
but you can't take Brooklyn out the girl.
Hey, Syd! Pop quiz.
You know what the chainsaw was originally called?
A bone cutter.
Yeah.
This will do just fine.
Whoa!
Hmm? What the hell?
Ahhh!
Whoo!
Whoo, whoo, whoo. Whoo!
Ah!
Ahhh!
-Ahhh!
Holy Lucifer, Howard.
Sydney, I take back everything I said about your dad.
That was the coolest thing I've ever seen in my whole life.
Boy, I hope somebody remembers these words.
What was that?
The Halloween decorations. They're gone.
But where did they go?
The Stingy Jack Festival.
He's building an army.
Mom.
These right here, Father,
are egg-free coconut-pineapple scones.
-Ah, that's a home run, huh? -Yes!
So…
I'm really not supposed to lie.
Yeah! Love it!
Mm-mm.
Oh, there's our pumpkin. Come on!
Well… guess it's time to call it a night.
Let's hear it for Stingy Jack!
Stingy Jack. Stingy Jack. Stingy Jack.
Which way do we go?
It's still a few more blocks that way.
Or we can take the shortcut. Through the cemetery.
Okay. Let's go.
Oh, please tell me they don't decorate the cemeteries here.
Hey, Syd. What are you doing?
-Come on, we have to find your mom. -And then what, Dad?
Stingy Jack has completely taken over Bridge Hollow.
And without Madam Hawthorne's spell, we can't stop him.
We need that spell.
What are you thinking?
I don't know, guys.
I led the weekend séance at the community center a few times,
but that was years ago.
Please, you have to try.
Okay. Um, everybody, take hands.
Oh! I can't believe I'm doing this.
But I am so here for it.
You know, channeling the… energy.
-Whatever. -Thank you.
Close your eyes.
Uh, now again, I'm very much out of practice--
Everyone.
Whoa.
Miss Hawthorne?
Miss Josephine Hawthorne.
Are you in here?
Can you hear me?
Of course I hear you, child.
I'm not deaf. I'm dead.
Hell's bells, what have I done?
This is so going on TikTok.
Um, I released Stingy Jack.
You did what?
It is my honor as mayor of Bridge Hollow
to light this year's Stingy Jack.
Yeah. Light it up!
What on earth?
-Not good. -What's going on?
All right, everyone. Must have just blown a fuse or something.
-Is somebody trippin'? -That is weird.
What the H-E-C-K is that?
Is this part of the show?
Beats me, Father.
I can't believe you nitwits
brought that dusty old demon back to life.
What are you going to do next? Bring back the black plague?
I don't know.
You realize he's going to try to do it again?
To find a soul to take back
and trade with the devil so he can take over the world?
But this time, he won't let anyone stop him.
We can stop him.
Oh!
And how do you propose to do this?
You gonna hit him with your little broomstick?
-Cast a little spell? -Exactly.
The binding spell from your book.
If you tell us the words, we can use it to re-trap Jack
and put him away… forever.
As you wish.
Cum his verbis O spiritus
te ad captivitatem eccio.
Captivitatem.
Adligans te ad flammam diabalit.
Got it.
Mm-hmm.
Good for you. Now can I please go back to being dead?
Oh, uh, yes, I'm sorry.
Uh…
Oh, for the love of-- Where did you learn this?
From a Cracker Jack box?
Amateurs.
-What just happened? -Huh?
Why do I smell like an old white lady?
I know what's going on here.
It's those degenerates from Oaktown trying to sabotage our festival again.
Well, not this year.
Nuh-uh.
-You can't hide behind that mask.
I could smell an Oaktownie from a mile away.
You know why?
Because you reek of sour grapes.
-It's a bunch of Oaktownies. -We don't want you here.
We don't want any of you weird freaks.
You shouldn't have done that, clown boy.
-They're everywhere. -I'm starting to hate Halloween.
We got this.
Oh, Syd. Look. Over there.
Mom's booth. Come on.
Quiet. Quiet.
Oh, dear Lord.
Where is she? Where's Mom?
I don't know!
And where's all the muffins and cookies and stuff?
Maybe she sold them all and then went home.
Okay, Syd. Pop quiz.
Where is the big pumpkin-headed statue thing
that was there just a minute ago?
He's gone.
What time is it?
It's almost midnight.
Dad, we need to find Jack before he takes someone's soul
back to the spirit world, or else we're screwed.
No, he can't.
If he wants to trade a soul with the devil,
he needs the lantern.
And the lantern is back at the…
Hello?
I'm trippin'. I'm trippin'.
So no one wants my baked goods.
Well, more for me.
Mmm.
Dad.
-What? -What are you doing?
I'm looking for wheels.
A car, a truck, something.
Anything.
I don't know.
Check for keys. Check.
-Okay. Come on… -Nothing.
Hey. Never do this.
Bypassing the ignition allows the positively charged battery
to push the negatively charged electrons to the starter and…
-Eureka.
Mm-hmm.
Don't tell Mom about this.
All right.
Let's go.
What are they doing?
Why are they just standing there?
The last time Jack tried to steal a soul, Madam Hawthorne stopped him.
So this time, he's using his army to make sure no one gets in his way.
He'll keep us here till midnight then attack.
Yeah. Well, lucky for us, we're driving this Cucurbita pepo.
-Or, in layman's terms… -A squash.
Hang on.
Oh, here comes Charlotte!
Oh!
Well, there goes this year's safest small town in the US.
Yes!
Whoo!
That is really hard.
-Ugh.
Brains. Brains.
-Brains. Brains.
Cum his verbis O spiritus…
Cum his verbis O spiritus.
I tried to get you to learn Latin. Remember?
Dad, Latin is literally a dead language, and at that time, it seemed useless.
Well, it's not so useless now, is it?
-You ready? Okay. -Ready.
-Hi, neighbor! -Oh!
Wondering what I'm doing in your bushes, right?
I'm not hiding if that's what you think.
-Yeah, you are. -I'm not scared of anything.
-You know what I mean? All right. -That's nice.
Hey, turns out you were right. I didn't turn into a zombie, huh?
-Lucky you. -Halloween, baby.
-Oh! -Oh! Oh…
It's your husband!
-Honey? -What was in that muffin? Cement?
I get it. I get it. Baking isn't--
-Look out!
Mom!
He breathes fire now?
Come on.
-Oh! Syd! Back up! Back up! Back up!
Okay. All right.
You distract the bat. I'll save Mom.
But, Dad, I have to do the spell.
Listen. It is too dangerous in there.
Now, I am still your father, and sometimes I still need to protect you.
Okay?
-Go! Save Mom! I got this. -Okay.
All right, Oaktownies! Come get some!
I don't think you should be encouraging them, dear.
Don't get some! Don't get some! I changed my mind.
Stay back!
I'm thinking these things ain't from Oaktown.
Dad! Hurry!
We're running out of time!
Ow.
All right, rat-face.
Round two. Ding ding.
Oh no! No!
Let me go!
I got you.
Cum his verbis O spiritus
te ad captivitatem eccio.
Adligans te ad flammam diabalit.
Cum his verbis O spiritus
te ad captivitatem eccio.
Adligans te ad flammam diabalit.
-Howard! -I'm trying.
Dad, hurry!
At midnight his army is going to attack!
I've said the spell! Twice! It's not working!
You have to truly believe!
Dad! You can do it! I know you can!
Now cast that frigging spell!
With these words, O spirit,
I banish you to captivity…
…binding you to the devil's flame!
Abracadabra.
-They did it! -They trapped him!
Oh, thank God. I thought they were screwed for sure.
You see that?
I'm on a new team, baby!
-Welcome, son.
Thank you.
Well-done, Oaktown. Well-done.
We'll see you next year.
See you next year.
Oh!
-That's funny? -Yes.
So long, Jack.
Wow, Mr. Gordon.
I mean, I just wish I could've been there to see you whip Stingy Jack's ass.
Sorry, I meant "butt."
Nah, that's okay. I did whoop his ass.
I meant, we whooped his ass. It was a team effort.
All right, who wants some cinnamon rolls?
Whoo!
-Thank you! -Good luck.
Wow!
These are amazing.
-Incredible. -They are?
You should open a shop, Mrs. Gordon.
Wait a second.
Hmm.
Yo, what'd you put in this?
Butter, sugar, gluten.
I figured, after last night, life's too short.
I'm just happy that Halloween is over.
You thought last night was crazy?
You should see what this town does for Christmas.
Christmas?
Ho ho ho.
I still say we should destroy that thing and be done with it.
Dad, we went over this.
If we destroy the lantern, we--
We could release Jack again. I know. I know.
But see, that's why I got this.
Ammonium phosphate.
Flame retardant.
Better be safe than sorry.
Sounds like someone's a believer.
Hey.
Here.
You want me to lock it?
Yeah, and then I want you to take the key and keep it safe.
You're old enough now. You're old enough to do a lot of things.
And I'mma try my best to remember that.
Thanks, Dad.
You wanna join in or what?
-Oh, hell, no. -Oh, hell, no.