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00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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[gunfire, explosions booming]

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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[birds chirping]

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[ominous music]

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[clock ticking]

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[sniffing]

8
00:00:49,266 --> 00:00:50,528
[tapping]

9
00:00:57,622 --> 00:00:58,710
[sighing]

10
00:01:11,810 --> 00:01:14,422
[gentle snoring]

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00:01:34,964 --> 00:01:37,009
[voice 1 on TV]
I love the sadness.

12
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:39,708
It's haunting,
like Da Vinci.

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00:01:39,795 --> 00:01:41,362
[voice 2 on TV] Really?

14
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I like the pepperoni.

15
00:01:42,885 --> 00:01:45,105
[voice 1 on TV] The pepperoni?

16
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[voice 2 on TV] Yeah,
I wasn't talking about

17
00:01:47,150 --> 00:01:48,412
this priceless piece--

18
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[plastic crackling]

19
00:01:55,724 --> 00:01:56,899
[plastic rustling]

20
00:02:09,390 --> 00:02:10,434
[grunting]

21
00:02:13,481 --> 00:02:16,440
[breathing loudly]

22
00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:25,362
[sighing]

23
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,587
[alarm beeping]

24
00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:52,433
[thudding]

25
00:02:52,911 --> 00:02:54,957
[urine splashing]

26
00:02:57,264 --> 00:02:58,700
[faucet runs, stops]

27
00:03:00,571 --> 00:03:04,053
[eerie music]

28
00:03:16,718 --> 00:03:23,246
♪

29
00:03:32,255 --> 00:03:33,648
[clatters]

30
00:03:33,735 --> 00:03:35,127
[TV presenter]
So fast. So easy.

31
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,825
Call now.
Call us now.

32
00:03:36,912 --> 00:03:39,393
24 hours a day,
seven days a week, and now--

33
00:03:39,567 --> 00:03:40,655
[TV static]

34
00:03:40,742 --> 00:03:42,091
[radio DJ] Can you hear me,

35
00:03:42,178 --> 00:03:44,180
my little ghouls
and ghoulettes?

36
00:03:44,267 --> 00:03:45,921
It's your old friend
Virgil here,

37
00:03:46,008 --> 00:03:48,184
and if you can
hear my voice,

38
00:03:48,271 --> 00:03:49,664
that must mean
you're within

39
00:03:49,751 --> 00:03:52,057
striking distance
of the drive-in,

40
00:03:52,144 --> 00:03:54,059
and it's the spookiest
night of the year,

41
00:03:54,146 --> 00:03:55,800
so we thought
we'll get some monsters

42
00:03:55,887 --> 00:03:57,889
and mayhem
up on the big screen for ya.

43
00:03:57,976 --> 00:04:00,936
Sunset tonight's
gonna be at 5:59,

44
00:04:01,023 --> 00:04:02,677
so if you
make your way out,

45
00:04:02,764 --> 00:04:04,418
don't forget
your silver bullets

46
00:04:04,505 --> 00:04:06,681
and your crucifixes,
'cause you guys know

47
00:04:06,768 --> 00:04:08,813
if the creatures
come out after dark,

48
00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:11,468
it's also when
all the fun starts.

49
00:04:11,642 --> 00:04:13,078
[laughing maniacally]

50
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,994
["Here We Go" by
Extreme Music playing on radio]

51
00:04:19,998 --> 00:04:22,436
[song volume increases]

52
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♪ Everybody wants a devil ♪

53
00:04:38,408 --> 00:04:40,889
♪ Everybody wants
it white and black ♪

54
00:04:40,976 --> 00:04:43,805
♪ Everybody thinks
they're angels ♪

55
00:04:43,892 --> 00:04:48,592
♪ They got the answers
we just wish we had ♪

56
00:04:48,679 --> 00:04:50,115
♪ But they don't know ♪

57
00:04:51,334 --> 00:04:52,422
♪ So here we go ♪

58
00:04:57,601 --> 00:05:00,474
♪ Look in the mirror,
they don't see it ♪

59
00:05:00,561 --> 00:05:03,303
♪ They meet their reflection
eye to eye ♪

60
00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:05,827
♪ They say the words
but don't mean it ♪

61
00:05:05,914 --> 00:05:10,832
♪ Always preaching about
the falling skies ♪

62
00:05:10,919 --> 00:05:12,050
♪ They don't know ♪

63
00:05:13,574 --> 00:05:14,836
♪ So here we go ♪

64
00:05:20,232 --> 00:05:22,887
♪ Everybody in the shadows
coming out today ♪

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00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:25,760
♪ Everybody in the shadows
coming out to play ♪

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00:05:25,847 --> 00:05:28,458
♪ Everybody in the shadows
coming out today ♪

67
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♪ Everybody in the shadows
coming out, here we go ♪

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00:05:31,243 --> 00:05:33,289
♪ Ooh, ooh, oh,
ooh, ooh, oh ♪

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00:05:33,376 --> 00:05:35,204
[Addison on walkie] Hello, I'm
a fancy Japanese businessman,

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00:05:35,291 --> 00:05:36,988
and I'd like to know
if the blonde that just

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00:05:37,075 --> 00:05:38,990
pulled on the lot
is available for purchase.

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00:05:40,731 --> 00:05:42,429
Attention,
whoever this is,

73
00:05:42,516 --> 00:05:44,474
this is an official
theater walkie-talkie

74
00:05:44,561 --> 00:05:46,781
and should only be used for
official drive-in business.

75
00:05:46,868 --> 00:05:48,522
No fucking shit, lady.

76
00:05:48,609 --> 00:05:49,523
Does it sound like
I'm ordering a pizza?

77
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[girlfriend] Real fucking cute.

78
00:05:56,007 --> 00:05:57,879
What the fuck is your problem?

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00:05:58,749 --> 00:05:59,794
[scoffs]

80
00:06:04,625 --> 00:06:07,584
[pop-rock song
playing on radio]

81
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,108
Get the hell
out of my car, old man.

82
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-[Hayes grunts]
-[Corpse giggles, screams]

83
00:06:15,984 --> 00:06:17,594
I almost thought
you weren't gonna come.

84
00:06:18,073 --> 00:06:20,510
But then I remembered
how irresistible I am.

85
00:06:20,684 --> 00:06:22,338
Okay, well,
I got you a present.

86
00:06:22,991 --> 00:06:24,384
-Oh, yeah?
-Mm-hmm.

87
00:06:24,558 --> 00:06:26,647
What the hell is it?
Am I gonna like it?

88
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Highly doubtful,

89
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but it took me
way too much time to make it,

90
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so you're gonna wear it.

91
00:06:33,218 --> 00:06:35,046
What?
What the hell is this?

92
00:06:35,220 --> 00:06:36,787
It's our costumes.

93
00:06:36,961 --> 00:06:39,137
[ice cubes clinking]

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00:06:41,183 --> 00:06:42,576
[customer] What do you have
to say about this?

95
00:06:45,883 --> 00:06:47,276
It's ruined,
I can tell you that.

96
00:06:47,798 --> 00:06:49,670
Trick or treaters are gonna
be over in a couple of hours

97
00:06:49,844 --> 00:06:52,107
and I still have to help Julian
get into his astronaut costume.

98
00:06:53,978 --> 00:06:55,632
It's not just
about the pumpkin,

99
00:06:55,806 --> 00:06:57,286
it's about the four hours
it took to-- to carve it.

100
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And numerous morning walks
have been disturbed

101
00:06:59,941 --> 00:07:01,595
by the previous night's party,

102
00:07:01,769 --> 00:07:03,684
drunken antics
of your customers.

103
00:07:03,858 --> 00:07:05,599
Uh, sir, maybe I can
be of some assistance?

104
00:07:05,773 --> 00:07:08,428
Um, let me just say,
we do not condone

105
00:07:08,602 --> 00:07:10,691
the drinking of alcoholic
beverages here at the drive-in.

106
00:07:10,865 --> 00:07:12,693
Hey, listen, we're already
out of room in the back.

107
00:07:12,867 --> 00:07:14,695
We're running out of ice.
Where do I put this?

108
00:07:14,869 --> 00:07:16,914
[birds chirping]

109
00:07:20,091 --> 00:07:21,136
[girlfriend] Whoo!

110
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Nachos Libre.

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00:07:24,879 --> 00:07:26,010
[girlfriend]
First of the night.

112
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Why do you guys
close down for the season

113
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right before Halloween?

114
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I figure that's your
big money-making night.

115
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Uh, fun fact, it's actually
not good for a box office

116
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for a movie to open
on Halloween weekend.

117
00:07:37,369 --> 00:07:38,632
Hmm. Mm.

118
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I don't think you know
what a fun fact means.

119
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[Corey] At any time
next season,

120
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you and your husband can come
and enjoy a movie on us.

121
00:07:45,377 --> 00:07:46,466
My husband?

122
00:07:47,118 --> 00:07:49,556
[Corey] Julian.
Oh, uh, your roommate?

123
00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:50,905
Julian's my dog.

124
00:07:51,079 --> 00:07:53,124
Dog! Of course.

125
00:07:53,298 --> 00:07:55,126
I'm not gay.

126
00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:56,606
That's very homophobic.

127
00:07:57,085 --> 00:07:58,956
[whispers] How can it be
homophobic if he's not gay?

128
00:08:00,523 --> 00:08:01,959
You have a lot of hate
in your heart.

129
00:08:02,133 --> 00:08:03,744
-[glass breaking]
-Oh! Oh!

130
00:08:03,918 --> 00:08:05,223
[Matt] Dammit!
Beer everywhere.

131
00:08:05,397 --> 00:08:06,486
[Corey] Oh!

132
00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:07,748
Hey, excuse me.

133
00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:10,402
What-- what are you
gonna do about my pumpkin?

134
00:08:12,622 --> 00:08:14,015
I don't fucking work here.

135
00:08:16,321 --> 00:08:18,846
[intriguing music]

136
00:08:22,893 --> 00:08:24,373
Here, take this.

137
00:08:24,852 --> 00:08:25,940
[Hayes]
Did you write on this?

138
00:08:26,114 --> 00:08:27,071
What did you
write on this?

139
00:08:30,161 --> 00:08:31,511
I need $60.

140
00:08:31,685 --> 00:08:33,425
-[Hayes] For what?
-To buy something.

141
00:08:35,689 --> 00:08:37,865
Hey.
Welcome to the party, pal.

142
00:08:38,822 --> 00:08:39,867
-See what I did there?
-[Hayes] Yes.

143
00:08:40,737 --> 00:08:44,959
♪

144
00:09:02,846 --> 00:09:03,891
[knocking]

145
00:09:07,416 --> 00:09:08,548
What do you got?

146
00:09:08,722 --> 00:09:09,766
[keys jingling]

147
00:09:13,074 --> 00:09:16,294
Huh, eclectic yet spooky,
I like it.

148
00:09:17,731 --> 00:09:19,689
All right, I'll tell you what.
Let's start with, uh, zombies.

149
00:09:20,298 --> 00:09:22,562
Well, technically, Romero
never used the word "zombie."

150
00:09:23,171 --> 00:09:24,912
They do call them
ghouls at one point,

151
00:09:25,086 --> 00:09:26,566
-but frankly, the term--
-That's great stuff.

152
00:09:26,740 --> 00:09:28,437
Can you get it started
at around ten, please?

153
00:09:29,873 --> 00:09:30,918
Take a beer.

154
00:09:34,791 --> 00:09:36,837
Never mind, I'll just take
it to the booth myself, then.

155
00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:41,232
Sir, you're welcome
to take any pumpkin,

156
00:09:41,406 --> 00:09:42,756
for free,
on us, as a gift.

157
00:09:42,930 --> 00:09:44,061
That one has
a swastika on it.

158
00:09:44,801 --> 00:09:45,976
Oh, yeah, uh,
that must be left over

159
00:09:46,150 --> 00:09:47,543
from Indiana Jones weekend.

160
00:09:47,717 --> 00:09:49,197
Out of context,
it's very horrible, yeah.

161
00:09:49,371 --> 00:09:50,328
[Addison] Motherfucker!

162
00:09:50,502 --> 00:09:51,678
[whimpering]

163
00:09:51,852 --> 00:09:52,983
[thudding]

164
00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:57,597
-[thudding, objects clattering]
-I'll get the first aid kit.

165
00:09:58,206 --> 00:09:59,555
I guess someone could make
that rocket ship one

166
00:09:59,729 --> 00:10:01,339
work with Julian's
astronaut costume.

167
00:10:02,210 --> 00:10:04,429
Ah, um,
that's actually a penis.

168
00:10:04,995 --> 00:10:07,519
Oh, my God. I get it.

169
00:10:07,694 --> 00:10:09,478
-My God.
-[Addison] It's real.

170
00:10:10,218 --> 00:10:11,915
Stepped on fucking glass.

171
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:13,525
[Hayes] All right,
well, that's funny.

172
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:14,744
-[Corpse laughs]
-Is it?

173
00:10:14,918 --> 00:10:16,354
[girlfriend] Yeah.

174
00:10:18,313 --> 00:10:20,184
Oh, my gosh, you guys
recognize who that is?

175
00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:22,317
The clown?

176
00:10:22,491 --> 00:10:23,927
Oh, my God, just get
to the part of the story

177
00:10:24,014 --> 00:10:25,581
where you slept
with the guy.

178
00:10:25,755 --> 00:10:27,061
It's that fucking idiot
from the pizza commercials.

179
00:10:27,235 --> 00:10:28,628
Picasso Pizza.

180
00:10:28,802 --> 00:10:30,934
-"Pizza that's a masterpiece?"
-Exactly.

181
00:10:31,108 --> 00:10:32,370
He's a pervert.
You know that, right?

182
00:10:33,067 --> 00:10:34,851
The clown? Oh, yeah.

183
00:10:35,330 --> 00:10:37,027
Couple years ago, he got
busted for putting cameras

184
00:10:37,201 --> 00:10:38,812
in women's dressing rooms
in the mall.

185
00:10:39,595 --> 00:10:40,901
Yeah,
but he got off pretty easy.

186
00:10:41,075 --> 00:10:42,990
Yep.
Big rich kid, pizza money.

187
00:10:44,165 --> 00:10:45,383
What store was it?

188
00:10:45,949 --> 00:10:47,603
-I think it was Cole's.
-[girlfriend] Hmm.

189
00:10:48,082 --> 00:10:49,474
[laughs]

190
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:50,911
[girlfriend]
Have you finally realized

191
00:10:51,085 --> 00:10:53,000
how impractical
a barefoot costume is?

192
00:10:53,174 --> 00:10:55,350
Listen, sister.

193
00:10:55,437 --> 00:10:56,830
It's not called
Die Easy, all right?

194
00:10:57,439 --> 00:10:59,397
-What are you doing?
-Just need to adapt.

195
00:10:59,571 --> 00:11:02,270
No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.

196
00:11:03,097 --> 00:11:04,141
You should
take the ladder, pal.

197
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:07,710
Fine.

198
00:11:09,277 --> 00:11:11,671
[grunting in pain]

199
00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:19,069
So, when are we
putting on our costumes?

200
00:11:19,766 --> 00:11:21,289
[crunching]

201
00:11:21,463 --> 00:11:23,030
Yeah, uh, here's the thing.

202
00:11:23,944 --> 00:11:25,293
I don't wanna do that.

203
00:11:25,467 --> 00:11:26,598
I kinda like
what I'm wearing now.

204
00:11:26,773 --> 00:11:27,991
I know
it's a sin to say,

205
00:11:28,165 --> 00:11:29,776
but I don't
even like Halloween.

206
00:11:30,254 --> 00:11:31,647
Yeah, I mean,
I don't like scary movies,

207
00:11:31,821 --> 00:11:33,605
I don't like
dressing up, and frankly,

208
00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:36,086
I find that people that
take it too seriously to be--

209
00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:37,609
well, they're idiots.

210
00:11:37,784 --> 00:11:39,089
So anybody
that dresses up is an idiot?

211
00:11:39,263 --> 00:11:40,221
No, no, no, no,
just people

212
00:11:40,395 --> 00:11:41,526
that take it too seriously.

213
00:11:42,353 --> 00:11:43,485
All right. Attention.

214
00:11:43,659 --> 00:11:45,008
You, I need your paint.

215
00:11:45,182 --> 00:11:46,488
And who here
has the best handwriting?

216
00:11:46,662 --> 00:11:48,055
This is
a Halloween emergency.

217
00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:51,058
I have a calligraphy set
back at home if need be.

218
00:11:53,277 --> 00:11:55,105
[girlfriend] There's not
too many people out there.

219
00:11:55,279 --> 00:11:56,672
Mm, it'll be all right.

220
00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:59,370
Not even dark yet,
and it's a beautiful night.

221
00:12:00,067 --> 00:12:03,026
Mm, you know what it's
a perfect night for, literally?

222
00:12:04,985 --> 00:12:06,377
[Hayes] For me
to put on my costume on?

223
00:12:08,423 --> 00:12:11,556
Jesus Christ, fine!

224
00:12:12,557 --> 00:12:14,559
But, I put this on,

225
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,605
and we are definitely
fucking in costume tonight.

226
00:12:16,779 --> 00:12:18,259
I mean,
that is a given.

227
00:12:18,433 --> 00:12:20,304
[customer] Excuse me.
You there, on the roof.

228
00:12:29,009 --> 00:12:30,880
There's a man down there
holding a pumpkin

229
00:12:31,054 --> 00:12:32,229
with a swastika.

230
00:12:32,403 --> 00:12:33,274
[customer]
Are you the manager?

231
00:12:33,448 --> 00:12:35,058
Uh, yeah.

232
00:12:35,232 --> 00:12:36,538
I mean, technically,
we're closed for the season,

233
00:12:36,712 --> 00:12:37,757
so if this is a complaint,

234
00:12:37,931 --> 00:12:39,062
which I'm gonna assume it is,

235
00:12:39,236 --> 00:12:40,498
-then I have to--
-Nah, nah.

236
00:12:40,672 --> 00:12:41,848
I just wanna
clear this with you.

237
00:12:42,022 --> 00:12:43,110
I-- I think
I'm gonna take this one.

238
00:12:43,284 --> 00:12:44,589
I can definitely
make this work

239
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,113
with Julian's
Indiana Bones costume.

240
00:12:46,287 --> 00:12:47,767
Luckily for me,
I have a miniature whip.

241
00:12:48,724 --> 00:12:50,030
Not really sure
who you are

242
00:12:50,204 --> 00:12:52,467
or what that means,
but, okay.

243
00:12:53,337 --> 00:12:54,643
[Addison] Hey, uh,
we have any more paint?

244
00:12:54,817 --> 00:12:56,688
-I ran out.
-No, absolutely not.

245
00:12:56,863 --> 00:12:58,778
What?
It's from the movie.

246
00:12:58,952 --> 00:13:00,040
Simon made me do it.

247
00:13:00,214 --> 00:13:01,258
[Hayes] Take it off!

248
00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:04,871
-[Santa] What the hell?
-What kinda theater is this?

249
00:13:05,045 --> 00:13:06,568
[Addison] Shut up, assholes,
we're closed.

250
00:13:08,570 --> 00:13:11,312
Thank God you stopped him
before he got to the ER.

251
00:13:11,486 --> 00:13:14,097
[gentle electronic music]

252
00:13:16,012 --> 00:13:17,884
Well, you've ruined Halloween.
I hope you're happy.

253
00:13:18,058 --> 00:13:19,755
Yeah,
possibly saved your life.

254
00:13:19,929 --> 00:13:21,365
Yet I can see
you have no problem with her

255
00:13:21,539 --> 00:13:23,193
dressed as a prostitute.

256
00:13:23,367 --> 00:13:24,934
By the way, should all
three of us really be up here?

257
00:13:25,021 --> 00:13:26,457
I mean, there's gotta be
some kind of weight limit.

258
00:13:26,631 --> 00:13:28,285
How many Nachos Libre
is that for you today?

259
00:13:28,459 --> 00:13:31,288
[laughs] Yeah, okay,
fat John McClane.

260
00:13:31,462 --> 00:13:33,073
You want
some help off the roof?

261
00:13:33,247 --> 00:13:35,292
All right, guys, guys, guys.
Hey, beer, all right?

262
00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:37,294
Let's try
not to kill each other tonight.

263
00:13:38,034 --> 00:13:39,296
[Addison] I can't promise that.

264
00:13:39,470 --> 00:13:41,081
Especially not
on All Hallows Eve.

265
00:13:41,255 --> 00:13:44,345
God, you're just a lot
of big talk and a stupid badge.

266
00:13:44,519 --> 00:13:46,173
Guys. A toast.

267
00:13:46,347 --> 00:13:48,697
To Halloween
and all it comes with.

268
00:13:49,698 --> 00:13:50,917
[Addison] What the fuck
does that mean?

269
00:13:51,091 --> 00:13:53,702
[Hayes] I don't know,
just cheers.

270
00:13:53,789 --> 00:13:55,573
♪ And we're running,
and running ♪

271
00:13:55,660 --> 00:14:00,143
♪ And running after midnight ♪

272
00:14:00,230 --> 00:14:01,405
♪ Say we're running ♪

273
00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:02,537
♪ And running ♪

274
00:14:02,624 --> 00:14:03,538
♪ And running to ♪

275
00:14:03,712 --> 00:14:05,845
[alarm beeping]

276
00:14:06,715 --> 00:14:09,500
[footsteps running]

277
00:14:11,676 --> 00:14:12,764
[Addison sighing]

278
00:14:15,463 --> 00:14:17,160
[panting]

279
00:14:21,686 --> 00:14:22,774
Is she dead?

280
00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:25,560
-God, I hope so.
-Why would you hope so?

281
00:14:25,734 --> 00:14:27,518
Well, for one,
if she's not dead,

282
00:14:27,692 --> 00:14:29,390
neither one of us are doing a
very good job of reviving her.

283
00:14:29,477 --> 00:14:31,783
And what's up with that
AIDS on the mirror thing?

284
00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:33,785
What? Oh, don't worry.
That's just lipstick.

285
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,831
I don't think you can put
actual AIDS on a mirror.

286
00:14:36,005 --> 00:14:37,137
Is this
fucking funny to you?

287
00:14:38,138 --> 00:14:39,530
Oh, I mean, bud,
you know, like anything,

288
00:14:39,704 --> 00:14:40,662
there are funny parts.

289
00:14:40,836 --> 00:14:42,098
What did you do?

290
00:14:42,272 --> 00:14:43,534
What do you mean,
what did I do?

291
00:14:43,708 --> 00:14:44,971
How could I
make this more clear?

292
00:14:45,145 --> 00:14:46,363
Whenever something bad
goes in my life,

293
00:14:46,537 --> 00:14:47,756
I can usually
pinpoint the source.

294
00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:50,106
So, I ask you again,
what did you do?

295
00:14:51,542 --> 00:14:52,848
Well, I'm sorry
you feel that way.

296
00:14:54,763 --> 00:14:56,547
My God, I mean,
do we even know if she's dead?

297
00:14:56,721 --> 00:14:58,680
-Did you check her pulse?
-You wanna go make sure?

298
00:14:59,289 --> 00:15:00,900
Wait,
what do you mean, check?

299
00:15:01,074 --> 00:15:02,379
"Make sure" kind of implies
that if she's not dead,

300
00:15:02,553 --> 00:15:03,511
we'll be
finishing the job.

301
00:15:03,685 --> 00:15:04,904
[Addison sighs]

302
00:15:05,469 --> 00:15:07,907
Only thing I did was wake up
about an hour before you

303
00:15:08,081 --> 00:15:09,647
into a horrifying situation.

304
00:15:10,431 --> 00:15:12,476
And as unbelievable
as it may seem,

305
00:15:12,650 --> 00:15:15,001
I assure you,
things can get worse.

306
00:15:15,175 --> 00:15:17,003
So let's focus
on what I'm gonna do.

307
00:15:17,829 --> 00:15:19,135
Which is my best,

308
00:15:19,309 --> 00:15:20,397
to make sure
that doesn't happen!

309
00:15:21,529 --> 00:15:22,573
So now then...

310
00:15:23,748 --> 00:15:25,185
let's go make sure
your girlfriend's dead.

311
00:15:32,801 --> 00:15:34,150
[exhaling loudly]

312
00:15:35,499 --> 00:15:36,544
Did you get a haircut?

313
00:15:36,718 --> 00:15:39,547
[clock ticking]

314
00:15:40,461 --> 00:15:42,811
Yes, I did,
not sure why you care.

315
00:15:42,985 --> 00:15:44,334
Honestly,
it's none of your business.

316
00:15:44,508 --> 00:15:46,380
I can't ask
if you got a haircut?

317
00:15:46,554 --> 00:15:48,904
I just don't know why
one guy would ask another guy

318
00:15:49,078 --> 00:15:51,428
if he got a haircut,
I mean, who cares?

319
00:15:51,602 --> 00:15:52,864
Honestly, it's a little gay.

320
00:15:53,039 --> 00:15:54,083
It's gay?

321
00:15:55,345 --> 00:15:57,521
It's gay
if I ask if you got a haircut?

322
00:15:58,044 --> 00:15:59,393
[Addison] I don't think
it's very straight.

323
00:15:59,567 --> 00:16:01,047
I mean, come on,
back me up here.

324
00:16:01,221 --> 00:16:02,483
Don't you think
it's a little gay?

325
00:16:02,657 --> 00:16:04,006
Jesus.

326
00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:05,138
How'd she get in here?

327
00:16:05,312 --> 00:16:06,313
I never know.

328
00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:08,228
What is she doing here?

329
00:16:08,402 --> 00:16:09,403
Touch-ups.

330
00:16:10,317 --> 00:16:11,405
What costume is that?

331
00:16:11,579 --> 00:16:12,710
[bell dings]

332
00:16:12,884 --> 00:16:13,973
Really?

333
00:16:14,625 --> 00:16:16,105
There's no room.

334
00:16:16,279 --> 00:16:18,499
Oh, come on,
there's always room for this.

335
00:16:18,673 --> 00:16:21,545
[Hayes] No-- Move back--
move it back, it's caught--

336
00:16:21,719 --> 00:16:25,071
[clock ticking]

337
00:16:25,810 --> 00:16:28,422
It's caught!
It's-- Move it! Back--

338
00:16:29,205 --> 00:16:30,250
This is ridiculous.

339
00:16:31,164 --> 00:16:32,687
You think
I wanna do this?

340
00:16:32,861 --> 00:16:33,949
Apparently.

341
00:16:37,605 --> 00:16:38,823
Covering the floor
with plastic,

342
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:39,955
with a bunch of drunk people,

343
00:16:40,129 --> 00:16:41,652
you know how stupid that is?

344
00:16:41,826 --> 00:16:43,306
The drunk people aren't
even supposed to be here.

345
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,569
But, you know,
there's a line at the drive in,

346
00:16:45,743 --> 00:16:47,528
or it's cool
they know the owner.

347
00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:49,617
I do know the owner.

348
00:16:49,791 --> 00:16:51,662
He's the moron behind
this asinine plastic plan.

349
00:16:54,622 --> 00:16:56,058
Have you given any thought
to what you're gonna do

350
00:16:56,232 --> 00:16:57,494
with all the water?

351
00:16:57,668 --> 00:16:59,061
[Hayes] What water?

352
00:16:59,235 --> 00:17:00,628
Well, you know,
women love to [indistinct]

353
00:17:00,802 --> 00:17:02,456
forward-thinking
in regards to party planning.

354
00:17:02,630 --> 00:17:04,675
So we're gonna get a nice
layer of slippery moisture

355
00:17:04,849 --> 00:17:06,721
going on here
from their filthy pussies.

356
00:17:07,374 --> 00:17:09,028
It's gonna be
like a slip 'n slide.

357
00:17:09,202 --> 00:17:10,812
No,
I haven't thought about it.

358
00:17:10,986 --> 00:17:13,815
Ooh! Smooth [indistinct]
lay down all this plastic,

359
00:17:13,989 --> 00:17:15,817
I sure hope
his pants have a Velcro fly,

360
00:17:15,991 --> 00:17:17,645
'cause I can't get his penis
in my mouth fast enough.

361
00:17:17,819 --> 00:17:19,038
[glass breaking]

362
00:17:19,212 --> 00:17:20,735
Motherfucker!

363
00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:23,955
Was that expensive?

364
00:17:24,478 --> 00:17:27,611
No, it's just a--
just a family heirloom.

365
00:17:27,785 --> 00:17:29,570
Maybe my grandfather
got it in the war.

366
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,486
Oh, well, he's dead,
so he has no say.

367
00:17:32,660 --> 00:17:34,879
I mean, chances are
he didn't want his fancy house

368
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:36,751
to go to his Nancy
of a grandkid either.

369
00:17:37,621 --> 00:17:39,275
You know,
take solace in the fact

370
00:17:39,449 --> 00:17:41,451
that it's just some bullshit
he stole off a Chinaman.

371
00:17:41,625 --> 00:17:43,410
Pretty sure
there weren't any Chinamen.

372
00:17:43,584 --> 00:17:45,020
[Addison] Well, you know,

373
00:17:45,194 --> 00:17:46,630
they all look the same
at the end of a bayonet.

374
00:17:51,026 --> 00:17:52,114
[Hayes] Listen.

375
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:55,378
-About tonight...
-[Addison] Is she blonde?

376
00:17:56,727 --> 00:17:57,946
[Hayes] What?

377
00:17:58,120 --> 00:17:59,904
Is her hair
blonde in color?

378
00:18:01,254 --> 00:18:04,431
[Hayes chuckles] Uh, yeah.
How'd you know that?

379
00:18:05,823 --> 00:18:07,173
[Addison] Well,
it's typically your pattern.

380
00:18:07,347 --> 00:18:09,000
Brunette, redhead, blonde.

381
00:18:09,914 --> 00:18:11,220
You've hid this chick
away for a while,

382
00:18:11,394 --> 00:18:12,743
but now
the drive-in's open,

383
00:18:12,917 --> 00:18:14,441
you have no choice
but to bring her around.

384
00:18:14,615 --> 00:18:16,530
So, you know,
this is where you say to me,

385
00:18:16,704 --> 00:18:18,314
"I really,
really like this girl.

386
00:18:18,488 --> 00:18:21,143
Can you do your best
to please not scare her away?"

387
00:18:21,317 --> 00:18:23,537
To which I answer,
"Of course, buddy!

388
00:18:23,711 --> 00:18:25,060
Whatever it is you need."

389
00:18:25,234 --> 00:18:26,757
In fact, you know,
I better start doing

390
00:18:26,931 --> 00:18:28,368
some more drinking
as to soothe my savage tongue.

391
00:18:34,504 --> 00:18:36,158
What's this?

392
00:18:36,332 --> 00:18:38,682
That's called whiskey,
and it's for emergencies only.

393
00:18:43,905 --> 00:18:45,211
Lemme ask you something?

394
00:18:46,777 --> 00:18:49,737
You find
that you jerk off more,

395
00:18:49,911 --> 00:18:52,435
or less, now that
you're in a relationship?

396
00:18:53,393 --> 00:18:55,090
And it was the haircut question
that was gay?

397
00:18:56,787 --> 00:18:59,703
I'm just collecting
a little bit of data.

398
00:18:59,877 --> 00:19:01,879
Well, oddly, I find

399
00:19:02,053 --> 00:19:03,925
I jerk off more
in the relationship.

400
00:19:06,014 --> 00:19:07,407
That's what I thought,
that checks out.

401
00:19:09,974 --> 00:19:10,932
Six months.

402
00:19:11,106 --> 00:19:12,063
This thing will not make it

403
00:19:12,238 --> 00:19:13,413
to the next drive-in season.

404
00:19:13,587 --> 00:19:14,675
-Guaranteed.
-My relationship?

405
00:19:14,849 --> 00:19:16,024
Yeah, your relationship.

406
00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:17,939
In fact,
I will even give you odds.

407
00:19:18,113 --> 00:19:19,854
No, no, no, I'm not betting
against that, even with odds.

408
00:19:20,028 --> 00:19:22,161
You know, I happen to find
that it's a good thing

409
00:19:22,335 --> 00:19:23,771
that I jerk off more.

410
00:19:23,945 --> 00:19:25,816
[snorts] Okay.
You know what? Five months.

411
00:19:25,990 --> 00:19:27,862
[microwave beeping]

412
00:19:28,036 --> 00:19:31,257
You know, this is-- this is
a new level for me, all right?

413
00:19:34,216 --> 00:19:35,478
I've never been
to this stage.

414
00:19:35,652 --> 00:19:38,177
You know,
as usual in the beginning,

415
00:19:38,351 --> 00:19:40,179
you know,
I'll use anything.

416
00:19:40,353 --> 00:19:42,833
But then when I get
to the climax I--

417
00:19:43,007 --> 00:19:44,226
I use her as the fuel.

418
00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:47,142
As some kinda
courtesy to her?

419
00:19:47,316 --> 00:19:49,275
Okay, come on,
you're making it sound gross,

420
00:19:49,449 --> 00:19:50,928
but I think
that means something.

421
00:19:52,582 --> 00:19:54,932
Well, I think
you should probably save

422
00:19:55,106 --> 00:19:56,369
some of this stuff
for your vows.

423
00:19:56,543 --> 00:19:57,935
[Hayes]
Wait-- wait a minute.

424
00:19:58,109 --> 00:19:59,720
And what do you mean,
"That checks out"?

425
00:19:59,894 --> 00:20:01,591
You've been monitoring
my jerk off habits?

426
00:20:07,815 --> 00:20:10,209
So, I suppose
I should be more like you.

427
00:20:11,819 --> 00:20:12,820
Preying on the young.

428
00:20:12,994 --> 00:20:14,474
Pitting my hopes and dreams

429
00:20:14,648 --> 00:20:16,563
to jello shots
and naiveté.

430
00:20:17,433 --> 00:20:18,782
[Addison] Oh, I'm sorry.

431
00:20:18,956 --> 00:20:20,741
Who should
I be preying on exactly?

432
00:20:20,915 --> 00:20:22,264
Old women?

433
00:20:22,438 --> 00:20:23,483
They're brutal beasts
that are fueled

434
00:20:23,657 --> 00:20:25,136
by white wine
and pilates.

435
00:20:25,311 --> 00:20:26,877
You know
you're coming dangerously close

436
00:20:27,051 --> 00:20:28,488
to the definition
of a woman hater.

437
00:20:29,097 --> 00:20:30,620
I don't hate women.

438
00:20:30,794 --> 00:20:31,839
Really?

439
00:20:32,796 --> 00:20:33,884
So when we play Monopoly...

440
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:36,278
and you make them
be the iron?

441
00:20:38,541 --> 00:20:39,803
That's more
of a tradition thing?

442
00:20:41,196 --> 00:20:43,416
The worst part about the stupid
abortion of a plastic plan

443
00:20:43,590 --> 00:20:45,026
isn't even the putting down
of the plastic,

444
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:46,767
it's the picking it up
the next morning.

445
00:20:47,942 --> 00:20:49,204
Oh, that's nice.

446
00:20:49,900 --> 00:20:51,293
Seriously,
do you have keys?

447
00:20:51,467 --> 00:20:53,034
Picking up a beaten,
ripped shell of a corpse

448
00:20:53,208 --> 00:20:55,384
that's left behind from a night
that's forever gone

449
00:20:55,558 --> 00:20:57,473
and used to be full
of limitless possibilities.

450
00:20:57,647 --> 00:20:59,301
Yeah, it's strange
you have such strong feelings

451
00:21:00,346 --> 00:21:02,609
for a process that I've
never seen you participate in.

452
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:08,310
[eerie music]

453
00:21:11,226 --> 00:21:12,836
You know, if you could
put actual AIDS on a mirror,

454
00:21:13,010 --> 00:21:14,403
it'd probably would have
something to do with that

455
00:21:14,577 --> 00:21:16,100
Bloody Mary lady.
Did you ever do that?

456
00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:17,319
Say it three times
in the mirror?

457
00:21:18,625 --> 00:21:19,843
Check her pulse.

458
00:21:22,629 --> 00:21:23,673
Not like that.

459
00:21:24,935 --> 00:21:26,067
Not like what?

460
00:21:27,111 --> 00:21:29,070
You can't use your thumb,
you have a pulse in your thumb.

461
00:21:30,898 --> 00:21:31,986
You do!

462
00:21:35,337 --> 00:21:37,034
I don't know,
I don't feel anything.

463
00:21:37,208 --> 00:21:38,253
You seem pretty confident.

464
00:21:39,907 --> 00:21:42,039
Take a look at the confident
marks on her neck.

465
00:21:42,213 --> 00:21:43,432
Somebody choked her.

466
00:21:43,606 --> 00:21:45,129
I don't know
if that killed her,

467
00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:46,783
but her lack of enthusiasm
about the situation

468
00:21:46,957 --> 00:21:48,916
makes me pretty fucking
confident that she's dead.

469
00:21:49,090 --> 00:21:50,134
When did you get that coffee?

470
00:21:51,788 --> 00:21:52,746
Does that make a difference?

471
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:54,138
Yeah, it does.

472
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:55,357
Did you get
yourself a cup of coffee

473
00:21:55,531 --> 00:21:56,793
and then find the body,

474
00:21:56,967 --> 00:21:58,404
or did you realize
she was dead

475
00:21:58,578 --> 00:21:59,970
and then decided
to make yourself a cup of Joe?

476
00:22:00,144 --> 00:22:01,668
-Who care--
-[coffee spilling]

477
00:22:06,629 --> 00:22:07,674
She's definitely dead.

478
00:22:10,807 --> 00:22:13,027
I think you need to focus on
some bigger picture questions.

479
00:22:13,201 --> 00:22:14,463
[Hayes] Like who killed her?

480
00:22:14,637 --> 00:22:17,031
Nope.
In fact, we just know dead.

481
00:22:17,205 --> 00:22:18,554
We don't know kill.

482
00:22:18,728 --> 00:22:21,035
What, like she died
of natural causes?

483
00:22:21,209 --> 00:22:22,428
Like someone choked her,
and she couldn't breathe,

484
00:22:22,602 --> 00:22:24,038
so she naturally died?

485
00:22:24,212 --> 00:22:26,257
I'm saying, I don't know.
She's in a tub.

486
00:22:26,432 --> 00:22:27,781
How do people
usually die in a tub?

487
00:22:27,955 --> 00:22:29,086
They drown.

488
00:22:29,260 --> 00:22:33,090
[clock ticking]

489
00:22:36,050 --> 00:22:38,618
[exhaling loudly]

490
00:22:39,140 --> 00:22:40,620
That might have been
a new record for ya.

491
00:22:42,404 --> 00:22:43,623
Now, hypothetical question.

492
00:22:43,797 --> 00:22:44,972
Let's say I died there.

493
00:22:45,712 --> 00:22:47,888
Do you try to save me yourself,
or do you go get help?

494
00:22:52,066 --> 00:22:53,328
That's your answer
for everything.

495
00:22:53,502 --> 00:22:55,374
[lighter flicking]

496
00:22:55,548 --> 00:22:57,898
[eerie music]

497
00:23:13,696 --> 00:23:15,350
[Hayes exhaling]

498
00:23:15,524 --> 00:23:17,744
You ever dance with the devil
in the pale moonlight?

499
00:23:18,309 --> 00:23:20,007
You're already
taking off your costume.

500
00:23:20,660 --> 00:23:22,052
Yeah, I mean,
uh, funny story.

501
00:23:22,226 --> 00:23:23,576
There was this accident.

502
00:23:23,750 --> 00:23:25,926
Took me five hours alone
to make that wig.

503
00:23:26,492 --> 00:23:28,755
Well, it's flammable,
in case you were wondering.

504
00:23:31,322 --> 00:23:32,498
You know,
you have nice feet.

505
00:23:33,107 --> 00:23:34,238
Many don't.

506
00:23:34,935 --> 00:23:36,502
I think it's the shoes
that fuck you guys carrying

507
00:23:36,676 --> 00:23:37,807
those puppies in there.

508
00:23:39,156 --> 00:23:40,897
It's funny, the wearing of
shoes can fuck your feet,

509
00:23:41,071 --> 00:23:42,203
but then
the not wearing shoes

510
00:23:42,377 --> 00:23:43,509
can equally
fuck your feet.

511
00:23:44,858 --> 00:23:46,555
I like to hit a nice 50/50

512
00:23:46,729 --> 00:23:48,427
sneaker/flip flop
split myself.

513
00:23:50,429 --> 00:23:52,518
What I'm getting
at is that, um,

514
00:23:52,692 --> 00:23:54,476
I would like
to suck your toes.

515
00:23:55,390 --> 00:23:58,349
Listen,
if you wanna take the courses,

516
00:23:58,524 --> 00:23:59,873
take the courses.

517
00:24:00,047 --> 00:24:01,831
If you don't, then don't.

518
00:24:03,137 --> 00:24:04,921
I just want you to be happy.

519
00:24:05,095 --> 00:24:06,880
And what would
make me happy

520
00:24:07,054 --> 00:24:09,709
is you making
one fucking decision.

521
00:24:09,883 --> 00:24:12,973
[Hayes, sarcastically]
Oh, my God. You're so selfless.

522
00:24:13,147 --> 00:24:15,279
You just want me
to be happy.

523
00:24:15,454 --> 00:24:18,282
Actually, it's selfish
'cause you're never happy,

524
00:24:18,457 --> 00:24:20,589
and I'd just like
to have something different.

525
00:24:20,763 --> 00:24:22,330
The best-selling album

526
00:24:22,417 --> 00:24:24,593
from 1996
was Jagged Little Pill.

527
00:24:25,333 --> 00:24:26,682
Now, I'm just saying,

528
00:24:26,856 --> 00:24:28,467
if the rock anthems
in my youth

529
00:24:28,641 --> 00:24:31,382
were screamed at me
by some spurned Canadian lady,

530
00:24:31,557 --> 00:24:33,428
oh, I'm bound to have
some intimacy issues.

531
00:24:33,602 --> 00:24:35,169
You said
we'd try New York.

532
00:24:36,431 --> 00:24:37,737
You said we'd see
if it was something

533
00:24:37,911 --> 00:24:39,390
we could
realistically handle.

534
00:24:39,565 --> 00:24:41,131
[Hayes] Oh, my God.

535
00:24:41,305 --> 00:24:43,612
I love how New York
is the answer to everything.

536
00:24:43,786 --> 00:24:44,700
Like, running away
from your problems

537
00:24:44,874 --> 00:24:45,962
is the solution.

538
00:24:46,136 --> 00:24:48,356
If location's the problem,

539
00:24:48,530 --> 00:24:50,837
isn't escape
the most logical answer?

540
00:24:51,011 --> 00:24:52,447
What exactly is the problem?

541
00:24:52,621 --> 00:24:57,713
Really? The same night,
same party, same people.

542
00:24:58,409 --> 00:24:59,802
There's that weird guy.

543
00:24:59,976 --> 00:25:02,022
There's that
fucking girl I hate.

544
00:25:02,196 --> 00:25:03,980
My ex-boyfriend's
over there.

545
00:25:04,546 --> 00:25:05,852
I fucked that guy.

546
00:25:06,592 --> 00:25:08,158
I've had sex
with this guy.

547
00:25:08,332 --> 00:25:10,465
It's the same thing
every night!

548
00:25:10,639 --> 00:25:11,945
Wait, how many
of these guys did you fuck?

549
00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:13,207
[Corpse] Oh...

550
00:25:13,381 --> 00:25:14,730
Have you seen
the women my age

551
00:25:14,904 --> 00:25:15,818
that would be
willing to sleep with me?

552
00:25:15,905 --> 00:25:16,993
Not a great group.

553
00:25:17,167 --> 00:25:18,212
A lot of baggage
in that group.

554
00:25:18,821 --> 00:25:20,083
And by baggage, I mean fat.

555
00:25:20,910 --> 00:25:23,434
Well, am I above sticking
my penis in a fat woman?

556
00:25:23,609 --> 00:25:24,914
Thank you for asking,
no, I am not.

557
00:25:25,088 --> 00:25:26,786
You live in a land

558
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:28,657
where you watch
and worship people

559
00:25:28,831 --> 00:25:30,529
projected on a big screen.

560
00:25:32,487 --> 00:25:35,403
I wanna be on the other side
of that screen.

561
00:25:35,577 --> 00:25:37,013
How do I know
the other side of that screen

562
00:25:37,187 --> 00:25:38,667
isn't just
a more expensive,

563
00:25:38,841 --> 00:25:41,757
soul-sucking, shittier version
than this side?

564
00:25:44,064 --> 00:25:45,108
You don't.

565
00:25:47,067 --> 00:25:49,809
It's a question
people answer for themselves.

566
00:25:52,725 --> 00:25:53,943
Do you want a guarantee?

567
00:25:55,945 --> 00:25:57,991
I can guarantee you
this side of the screen

568
00:25:58,165 --> 00:26:00,036
is not always
gonna include me.

569
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:02,691
Is that a threat?

570
00:26:02,865 --> 00:26:04,519
Threat's a strong word.

571
00:26:05,346 --> 00:26:07,478
Yeah, how about fuck you?
Is that a strong word?

572
00:26:08,741 --> 00:26:10,090
Fuck you's two words,

573
00:26:10,264 --> 00:26:11,918
and coming
from a weak-willed guy

574
00:26:12,092 --> 00:26:13,920
that's lost
all of his ambition?

575
00:26:14,094 --> 00:26:15,704
Not really.

576
00:26:15,878 --> 00:26:17,271
This is a fucking joke.

577
00:26:17,445 --> 00:26:19,795
-[clown horn honking]
-Oh, my God.

578
00:26:19,969 --> 00:26:21,014
Are you s--

579
00:26:24,147 --> 00:26:25,409
That's it.

580
00:26:26,976 --> 00:26:29,152
You know, I don't even know
if I'm in love with you.

581
00:26:31,154 --> 00:26:33,461
I imagine
a world where I am,

582
00:26:33,635 --> 00:26:35,985
and that is the world
that I thought I wanted.

583
00:26:37,813 --> 00:26:39,162
[scoffing]

584
00:26:39,336 --> 00:26:41,251
I just wanna take
that little piece of you

585
00:26:41,425 --> 00:26:43,732
that wants
to do better and nurture it.

586
00:26:45,386 --> 00:26:47,344
I love this place too...

587
00:26:48,519 --> 00:26:51,522
but I can't start feeling
nostalgic until I leave.

588
00:26:53,046 --> 00:26:54,700
It's kind
of how nostalgia works.

589
00:26:56,571 --> 00:26:58,573
Even though I may go
and fail,

590
00:26:59,835 --> 00:27:02,142
just know that I think
if you stay here

591
00:27:02,751 --> 00:27:04,623
without trying anything else...

592
00:27:06,625 --> 00:27:08,670
you've already failed.

593
00:27:10,846 --> 00:27:11,891
I gotta pee.

594
00:27:14,937 --> 00:27:16,504
What if it turns out
that I do want kids,

595
00:27:16,678 --> 00:27:18,941
I mean, I'm supposed
to do that with a woman my age?

596
00:27:19,725 --> 00:27:21,465
You imagine
how retarded that kid would be?

597
00:27:22,423 --> 00:27:24,468
I don't mean just, like,
a dusting of Down syndrome,

598
00:27:24,643 --> 00:27:26,296
I'm talking
about full-blown, you know,

599
00:27:26,470 --> 00:27:28,211
rubbing-shit-in-the-air
retarded.

600
00:27:28,385 --> 00:27:31,475
[indie rock music]

601
00:27:37,090 --> 00:27:38,265
[man] It's occupied.

602
00:27:38,787 --> 00:27:40,093
[Corpse]
How long has he been in here?

603
00:27:44,358 --> 00:27:46,273
[Hayes] Like it's gonna solve
all of our fucking problems.

604
00:27:46,447 --> 00:27:49,885
Fuck, go then!
Just fucking get out of here.

605
00:27:50,451 --> 00:27:53,323
[muttering] I can't take it. I
don't even fucking give a shit.

606
00:27:54,629 --> 00:27:55,674
Fuck.

607
00:27:56,979 --> 00:27:58,764
This fucking party's
fucking on tonight.

608
00:27:58,938 --> 00:28:00,635
Fucking on, come on.

609
00:28:01,114 --> 00:28:02,681
[sighing]

610
00:28:03,594 --> 00:28:04,813
Fuck!

611
00:28:04,987 --> 00:28:06,772
[soft rock
music playing inside]

612
00:28:07,729 --> 00:28:09,122
Fuck! Fuck!

613
00:28:09,296 --> 00:28:11,951
[party din]

614
00:28:32,101 --> 00:28:38,673
♪

615
00:28:44,940 --> 00:28:46,072
[partygoer] You ever
danced with the devil

616
00:28:46,246 --> 00:28:47,421
in the pale moonlight?

617
00:28:48,857 --> 00:28:51,033
-What?
-I'm saying, I don't know.

618
00:28:51,207 --> 00:28:52,513
She's in a tub.

619
00:28:52,687 --> 00:28:53,644
How do people
usually die in a tub?

620
00:28:53,819 --> 00:28:55,037
They drown.

621
00:28:56,647 --> 00:28:57,736
[Addison clears throat]

622
00:28:59,955 --> 00:29:01,783
Those marks on her neck
are gonna be a problem.

623
00:29:01,957 --> 00:29:03,263
What do you mean
those marks on her neck

624
00:29:03,437 --> 00:29:04,394
are gonna be a problem?

625
00:29:04,568 --> 00:29:05,700
Well, I mean, if she just

626
00:29:05,874 --> 00:29:07,484
drunkenly drowned in the tub,

627
00:29:07,658 --> 00:29:09,399
I'd say the next step
would be to call the police

628
00:29:09,573 --> 00:29:10,749
and let them
do some policing.

629
00:29:10,923 --> 00:29:12,881
But,
those marks on her neck,

630
00:29:13,055 --> 00:29:14,491
I mean,
we're gonna have to cut her up.

631
00:29:15,057 --> 00:29:16,363
[Hayes] Cut-- cut her up?

632
00:29:16,537 --> 00:29:17,625
What the fuck
are you talking about?

633
00:29:18,321 --> 00:29:20,062
[Addison] Uh, cut her up means
take the one big piece,

634
00:29:20,236 --> 00:29:21,498
and you make it
smaller pieces.

635
00:29:22,064 --> 00:29:23,762
Then we're gonna
take those small pieces

636
00:29:23,936 --> 00:29:27,374
and drive across the big,
vast state of Pennsylvania.

637
00:29:28,201 --> 00:29:29,419
I would
put on some clothing,

638
00:29:29,593 --> 00:29:30,594
it's gonna
take us a little bit.

639
00:29:34,598 --> 00:29:36,035
We need
to puncture her.

640
00:29:37,253 --> 00:29:38,689
Drain all the liquid
that we can.

641
00:29:40,387 --> 00:29:41,954
Pulverize the teeth.

642
00:29:42,737 --> 00:29:43,956
Cut off the fingers.

643
00:29:44,130 --> 00:29:45,435
Disfigure the face.

644
00:29:46,785 --> 00:29:48,264
We'd be wise to crush

645
00:29:48,438 --> 00:29:50,397
as much of the skeleton
as we can beforehand.

646
00:29:50,571 --> 00:29:52,268
[suspenseful music]

647
00:29:53,617 --> 00:29:55,532
People would be
less apt to call the cops

648
00:29:55,706 --> 00:29:57,404
if their dog
digs up a disfigured

649
00:29:57,578 --> 00:29:59,232
piece of meat
versus a whole body.

650
00:30:01,190 --> 00:30:02,583
The fucking dog
would probably eat the meat

651
00:30:02,757 --> 00:30:03,932
before anyone of importance

652
00:30:04,106 --> 00:30:05,586
came along
to investigate further.

653
00:30:09,503 --> 00:30:10,852
The good news
about Pennsylvania is

654
00:30:11,026 --> 00:30:12,332
the bigger the state,

655
00:30:12,506 --> 00:30:14,029
the more area there is
to hide things.

656
00:30:16,379 --> 00:30:19,556
And when in doubt, use fire.

657
00:30:25,345 --> 00:30:26,694
Hey, when I asked
about cutting her up,

658
00:30:26,868 --> 00:30:28,522
I wasn't looking
for the fucking mechanics.

659
00:30:28,696 --> 00:30:30,872
If we push,
I think we can be back by dawn.

660
00:30:31,046 --> 00:30:32,874
How long do you figure
it takes to cut up a body?

661
00:30:33,048 --> 00:30:34,615
Is that
a fucking serious question?

662
00:30:34,789 --> 00:30:36,660
I'm hoping it's not much harder
than deboning a chicken.

663
00:30:36,835 --> 00:30:39,315
Okay, let me be very clear
about what we are not doing.

664
00:30:39,489 --> 00:30:41,013
We're gonna need tools,
duct tape

665
00:30:41,187 --> 00:30:43,015
and a shit ton of Febreze.

666
00:30:43,624 --> 00:30:44,668
We won't be doing that.

667
00:30:45,713 --> 00:30:47,106
What we will be doing is

668
00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:48,368
-calling the police.
-Calling the police.

669
00:30:49,325 --> 00:30:50,544
-I'm serious.
-I'm serious.

670
00:30:51,545 --> 00:30:52,807
I think it's a fine idea.

671
00:30:53,286 --> 00:30:54,330
[Hayes] Okay,
the police are the people

672
00:30:54,504 --> 00:30:55,941
that catch the bad guy.

673
00:30:56,115 --> 00:30:57,116
[Addison] And what
if the police decide

674
00:30:57,290 --> 00:30:58,900
that you are
the bad guy?

675
00:30:59,074 --> 00:31:00,684
[Hayes] They won't,
because I didn't do anything.

676
00:31:00,859 --> 00:31:02,686
[projector whirring]

677
00:31:02,861 --> 00:31:03,949
[cop] You didn't do anything?

678
00:31:04,514 --> 00:31:05,646
Well, that's a relief.

679
00:31:06,473 --> 00:31:08,475
Case closed, I guess.

680
00:31:08,649 --> 00:31:10,303
Let's go ahead
and get you outta here.

681
00:31:10,477 --> 00:31:12,218
Officer Black,
take off his cuffs.

682
00:31:12,392 --> 00:31:14,611
Let's get him downstairs,
and process his paperwork.

683
00:31:14,785 --> 00:31:16,439
He didn't do anything.

684
00:31:17,701 --> 00:31:20,356
Although, we should
think about this for second.

685
00:31:21,227 --> 00:31:23,490
I mean,
as airtight as alibi as

686
00:31:23,664 --> 00:31:25,884
"I didn't do anything" is,

687
00:31:26,058 --> 00:31:27,755
I think I'm under
some sort of general obligation

688
00:31:27,929 --> 00:31:29,496
to ask you
a few questions.

689
00:31:29,670 --> 00:31:32,281
I mean, if that's
okay with you, Mr. Hayes?

690
00:31:32,891 --> 00:31:34,414
I think
that dead little girl's mother

691
00:31:34,588 --> 00:31:36,677
might want me
to ask a few questions.

692
00:31:37,547 --> 00:31:38,722
Do you ever
think about that

693
00:31:38,897 --> 00:31:41,073
in your
psycho little head?

694
00:31:41,943 --> 00:31:43,423
That girl had a mother.

695
00:31:44,206 --> 00:31:45,338
That girl had a father.

696
00:31:45,947 --> 00:31:47,340
And now
they have to do

697
00:31:47,514 --> 00:31:49,951
the toughest thing
a parent ever has to do.

698
00:31:50,125 --> 00:31:51,735
They have to
bury their little girl.

699
00:31:51,910 --> 00:31:54,303
-That ain't right.
-No! That ain't right.

700
00:31:54,477 --> 00:31:55,652
-She had a sister.
-Okay.

701
00:31:55,826 --> 00:31:56,871
I'll do the family stuff.

702
00:31:58,699 --> 00:31:59,918
Tell me, tough guy.

703
00:32:00,701 --> 00:32:02,703
You have anything
to drink last night?

704
00:32:03,443 --> 00:32:05,749
[upbeat percussive music]

705
00:32:09,144 --> 00:32:11,538
Sounds like
you had more than a couple.

706
00:32:11,712 --> 00:32:13,627
A real booze hound.

707
00:32:13,801 --> 00:32:17,196
Oh, is that true?
You a booze hound?

708
00:32:17,370 --> 00:32:19,372
Did you have
anything to drink today,

709
00:32:19,546 --> 00:32:21,113
Mr. Booze Hound?

710
00:32:24,594 --> 00:32:26,640
What we're dealing with here
is a young white girl.

711
00:32:26,814 --> 00:32:28,903
So rest assured
the police will come,

712
00:32:29,077 --> 00:32:30,731
they will
have questions, but, uh,

713
00:32:30,905 --> 00:32:32,733
with each other
as alibis and pretty soon

714
00:32:32,907 --> 00:32:35,214
with a little
elbow grease, no body,

715
00:32:35,388 --> 00:32:37,216
I think
we can get past this.

716
00:32:38,869 --> 00:32:40,697
So, did you murder
the girl in the tub?

717
00:32:40,871 --> 00:32:42,743
-Nope.
-Whoo, he's good.

718
00:32:42,917 --> 00:32:45,006
So you're a funny guy.

719
00:32:45,615 --> 00:32:46,877
You think
this is a big joke?

720
00:32:47,487 --> 00:32:48,923
Well this
ain't no joke, brother.

721
00:32:49,489 --> 00:32:52,013
A skeleton walks into a bar,
orders a beer and a mop.

722
00:32:52,187 --> 00:32:53,710
That is a joke.

723
00:32:54,407 --> 00:32:57,976
You know, we had a funny guy
like you down on the force.

724
00:32:58,541 --> 00:33:00,282
You wanna know
what happened to him?

725
00:33:01,022 --> 00:33:02,589
If I had to guess,
I imagine he was

726
00:33:02,763 --> 00:33:04,156
well-liked by his coworkers,

727
00:33:04,330 --> 00:33:06,027
excelled at his job
and got promoted--

728
00:33:06,201 --> 00:33:08,595
No! No, no, no, no!

729
00:33:08,769 --> 00:33:10,205
No, that's not what happened!

730
00:33:12,164 --> 00:33:14,079
You know, we got your buddy
in the other room.

731
00:33:15,341 --> 00:33:17,038
He's telling us
another story.

732
00:33:17,212 --> 00:33:19,084
Maybe I'll go
ask him a few questions.

733
00:33:27,005 --> 00:33:29,007
We have one story
and we stick to it.

734
00:33:29,181 --> 00:33:30,791
You can't tell 'em
anything we don't know.

735
00:33:30,965 --> 00:33:32,227
Something happened.

736
00:33:32,401 --> 00:33:33,663
We're talking
about an environment

737
00:33:33,837 --> 00:33:35,100
where there's
a known sex offender

738
00:33:35,274 --> 00:33:36,840
walking around
dressed as a clown.

739
00:33:37,450 --> 00:33:39,104
[gun fires]

740
00:33:39,278 --> 00:33:41,280
-Well, we shot your buddy.
-Shot him dead.

741
00:33:42,281 --> 00:33:44,022
-[Addison] Really?
-You don't think so?

742
00:33:44,196 --> 00:33:45,545
I didn't like
his answers.

743
00:33:46,111 --> 00:33:47,155
What do you
think about that?

744
00:33:47,764 --> 00:33:49,201
Well, I think the whole thing

745
00:33:49,375 --> 00:33:50,637
sounds like
a shocking abuse of authority.

746
00:33:51,333 --> 00:33:53,161
All right, all right,
all right, I have a question.

747
00:33:53,944 --> 00:33:56,121
Considering we're
dealing with a murderer,

748
00:33:56,295 --> 00:33:58,558
you certainly
don't seem to be very alarmed.

749
00:33:58,732 --> 00:34:01,039
I mean,
theoretically, there's still

750
00:34:01,213 --> 00:34:02,910
a killer out there
lurking about, correct?

751
00:34:03,084 --> 00:34:04,390
Well,
I can't speak to his lurking,

752
00:34:04,564 --> 00:34:06,827
but unless
you think our killer

753
00:34:07,001 --> 00:34:09,569
is the hockey mask-wearing
machete-wielding variety,

754
00:34:09,743 --> 00:34:11,962
and he's just biding
his time 'til you and I

755
00:34:12,137 --> 00:34:14,269
carelessly go
butt fuck by the lake,

756
00:34:14,443 --> 00:34:16,619
why would the killer
return to the scene of a crime?

757
00:34:16,793 --> 00:34:19,057
To cover his tracks.

758
00:34:20,101 --> 00:34:21,146
Gosh.

759
00:34:23,322 --> 00:34:25,150
I can't say I like
what you're implying there.

760
00:34:26,325 --> 00:34:28,762
So let's look at
a couple facts, shall we?

761
00:34:32,461 --> 00:34:33,506
We have a girl.

762
00:34:35,247 --> 00:34:36,291
Your girl.

763
00:34:37,466 --> 00:34:38,511
Currently deceased.

764
00:34:39,947 --> 00:34:41,383
Got a party full of people,

765
00:34:41,557 --> 00:34:43,559
watched you argue,
as they often do.

766
00:34:44,517 --> 00:34:46,736
We got drugs,
we got booze,

767
00:34:46,910 --> 00:34:49,174
and the only thing we know
for sure about this girl?

768
00:34:49,739 --> 00:34:51,524
She currently
resides in a tub.

769
00:34:51,698 --> 00:34:52,742
Whose tub?

770
00:34:52,916 --> 00:34:53,961
Your tub.

771
00:34:54,831 --> 00:34:57,921
Now, given those facts,
who would you think did it?

772
00:34:58,966 --> 00:35:00,185
Oh, and of course, the, uh,

773
00:35:01,273 --> 00:35:03,144
most damning
piece of evidence.

774
00:35:06,060 --> 00:35:07,322
-The vampire.
-The vampire.

775
00:35:07,496 --> 00:35:08,889
The vampire was what
I was gonna say.

776
00:35:12,893 --> 00:35:16,592
[clock ticking]

777
00:35:17,637 --> 00:35:18,855
[partygoer] You ever
danced with the devil

778
00:35:19,029 --> 00:35:20,335
in the pale moonlight?

779
00:35:21,249 --> 00:35:22,294
What?

780
00:35:23,469 --> 00:35:24,774
Sorry.

781
00:35:24,948 --> 00:35:27,125
I said,
you ever danced with the devil

782
00:35:27,299 --> 00:35:28,343
in the pale moonlight?

783
00:35:29,083 --> 00:35:30,650
Don't worry,
I say that to all my prey.

784
00:35:31,433 --> 00:35:33,609
Yeah, I know about that.

785
00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:38,136
[clock ticking]

786
00:35:40,877 --> 00:35:43,053
Wow. You can drink a lot.

787
00:35:43,750 --> 00:35:45,534
Yeah. I can.

788
00:35:52,237 --> 00:35:54,152
So this
whole house is yours?

789
00:35:55,631 --> 00:35:57,807
Yeah. It is.

790
00:35:57,981 --> 00:35:59,069
Hmm.

791
00:36:00,549 --> 00:36:02,160
[drink pouring]

792
00:36:07,861 --> 00:36:09,123
[coughing]

793
00:36:09,297 --> 00:36:10,733
[Vampire] Oh, careful.

794
00:36:11,473 --> 00:36:13,258
Oh, you're--
you're freezing.

795
00:36:18,176 --> 00:36:19,220
You, uh...

796
00:36:20,221 --> 00:36:21,266
You wanna
come inside?

797
00:36:23,137 --> 00:36:25,139
Yeah, let's go inside.

798
00:36:27,968 --> 00:36:29,361
Ah, but you're right.

799
00:36:29,535 --> 00:36:31,058
Murder and cheating
rarely intersected,

800
00:36:31,232 --> 00:36:32,625
-you should be fine.
-Oh, no, I-- I didn't cheat.

801
00:36:32,799 --> 00:36:35,105
I-- I mean,
I don't think I--

802
00:36:35,802 --> 00:36:37,325
What? Came?

803
00:36:37,499 --> 00:36:40,110
Ugh, now you're
making it disgusting, pervert.

804
00:36:41,199 --> 00:36:42,678
I'm guessing a few people,
well, your girlfriend,

805
00:36:42,852 --> 00:36:44,506
dead one,
included, may not share

806
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:46,291
your liberal
view of infidelity.

807
00:36:46,465 --> 00:36:48,162
It's called
emotional cheating,

808
00:36:48,336 --> 00:36:49,990
and it happens
to a lot of people.

809
00:36:50,164 --> 00:36:51,774
Leave it at home, Tom.

810
00:36:51,948 --> 00:36:53,472
Oh, I almost forgot one thing,
show him the tablecloth.

811
00:36:58,259 --> 00:36:59,565
Whose blood
you suppose that is?

812
00:37:02,394 --> 00:37:03,830
I-- I don't know.

813
00:37:05,092 --> 00:37:06,615
So we should probably
get rid of that too, huh?

814
00:37:09,314 --> 00:37:10,750
If you're being
100% honest,

815
00:37:10,924 --> 00:37:12,186
can you say
that you remember

816
00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:14,275
everything that
happened last night?

817
00:37:14,449 --> 00:37:16,451
He eats cats.

818
00:37:16,625 --> 00:37:21,195
[clock ticking]

819
00:37:21,282 --> 00:37:23,458
Okay, I now realize
trying to explain ALF

820
00:37:23,545 --> 00:37:25,155
to someone
who hasn't seen ALF

821
00:37:25,330 --> 00:37:27,332
kinda makes me
sound like a lunatic.

822
00:37:27,506 --> 00:37:30,248
I mean, how you know
who Michael Keaton's Batman is

823
00:37:30,335 --> 00:37:31,945
but you haven't heard of ALF?

824
00:37:32,119 --> 00:37:34,687
Wait, okay, Michael Keaton
is Pennsylvania pride.

825
00:37:35,601 --> 00:37:37,516
I actually saw him
in a Long John Silver's once.

826
00:37:38,386 --> 00:37:39,996
He was totally cool.

827
00:37:40,170 --> 00:37:42,477
I still feel like he comes up
in pop culture like,

828
00:37:42,651 --> 00:37:44,218
he's bowled a 286.

829
00:37:44,392 --> 00:37:46,002
I mean, ALF,

830
00:37:46,089 --> 00:37:48,440
he was this third man
in Three Men and a Baby.

831
00:37:49,049 --> 00:37:50,964
Wait, you saying his name
over and over again

832
00:37:51,138 --> 00:37:52,661
does not make me
know this person.

833
00:37:53,314 --> 00:37:54,707
All right.

834
00:37:54,881 --> 00:37:56,056
Okay, is something
wrong with your dick?

835
00:37:56,709 --> 00:37:58,406
'Cause-- Yep,
that should help.

836
00:37:59,494 --> 00:38:00,626
I mean--

837
00:38:01,366 --> 00:38:03,237
I mean,
he's not like, uh,

838
00:38:03,411 --> 00:38:05,413
it's like a--
like a puppet.

839
00:38:05,587 --> 00:38:07,328
It's like a--
it's like a man

840
00:38:07,502 --> 00:38:09,983
and like his little--
little man.

841
00:38:10,157 --> 00:38:12,942
Like little brown puppet man
[indistinct].

842
00:38:13,116 --> 00:38:15,249
[laughs]
[indistinct]

843
00:38:15,423 --> 00:38:17,164
Right.
I should have known.

844
00:38:17,338 --> 00:38:18,470
There were signs.

845
00:38:19,688 --> 00:38:20,994
I'm not blowing a retard.

846
00:38:21,951 --> 00:38:23,301
I am not my mom.

847
00:38:24,345 --> 00:38:25,520
[Officer Shane]
So you admit it.

848
00:38:25,694 --> 00:38:26,956
Admit what?

849
00:38:27,130 --> 00:38:28,131
That you were
with the other girl.

850
00:38:29,002 --> 00:38:30,612
That's what
we're talking about, right?

851
00:38:30,786 --> 00:38:33,093
How would he know that?
How would anyone know that?

852
00:38:33,267 --> 00:38:35,661
[urine splashing]

853
00:38:37,053 --> 00:38:40,883
[clock ticking]

854
00:38:41,057 --> 00:38:44,322
[party music playing inside]

855
00:38:54,810 --> 00:38:56,029
This isn't gonna work.

856
00:38:58,771 --> 00:39:00,207
What, are you too busy

857
00:39:00,381 --> 00:39:02,078
thinking about
your fucking friend, Ralph?

858
00:39:02,252 --> 00:39:04,516
[Hayes snoring]

859
00:39:04,690 --> 00:39:06,692
Oh, for fuck's sake.

860
00:39:07,910 --> 00:39:08,998
Ugh.

861
00:39:14,917 --> 00:39:17,746
You know,
a finger or two up the old anus

862
00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:19,531
oftentimes gets
the ball rolling.

863
00:39:20,358 --> 00:39:21,620
Read into that what you will.

864
00:39:23,404 --> 00:39:25,450
[Officer Shane] I got a hobby.
You want to know what it is?

865
00:39:25,624 --> 00:39:27,800
-He likes trains.
-That's right, I like trains.

866
00:39:27,974 --> 00:39:30,106
And I built this town
for the trains to roll through,

867
00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:32,457
little place I like to call
Timberlake Falls.

868
00:39:32,631 --> 00:39:34,110
It's lovely!

869
00:39:34,284 --> 00:39:36,939
And the only thing
I love more than the train

870
00:39:37,113 --> 00:39:39,289
and the good, hardworking
people of Timberlake Falls--

871
00:39:39,464 --> 00:39:41,509
I thought it was more like
a retirement community

872
00:39:41,683 --> 00:39:43,206
-slash fishing village kinda--
-No!

873
00:39:43,381 --> 00:39:45,513
There's restaurants, shops.

874
00:39:45,687 --> 00:39:46,688
There's a post office.

875
00:39:46,862 --> 00:39:47,907
People work there.

876
00:39:48,081 --> 00:39:49,125
The point is,

877
00:39:50,257 --> 00:39:51,867
I got
a brand new hobby,

878
00:39:52,041 --> 00:39:54,740
and that hobby is
sticking you in a dark hole

879
00:39:54,914 --> 00:39:56,481
where the next light you see

880
00:39:56,655 --> 00:39:58,700
will be the flames
burning your flesh

881
00:39:58,874 --> 00:40:00,093
in eternal damnation!

882
00:40:00,267 --> 00:40:01,355
[banging thud]

883
00:40:01,529 --> 00:40:02,574
[Addison] And that's why...

884
00:40:04,837 --> 00:40:05,794
we cut.

885
00:40:05,968 --> 00:40:07,100
Look at it this way.

886
00:40:07,274 --> 00:40:08,928
We're just
doing the cutting.

887
00:40:09,102 --> 00:40:11,191
It's the difference between
stealing someone's wallet

888
00:40:11,365 --> 00:40:13,149
versus finding a wallet
and keeping the money.

889
00:40:13,802 --> 00:40:15,064
This feels worse.

890
00:40:15,238 --> 00:40:16,936
[sighs]

891
00:40:17,110 --> 00:40:18,590
I can understand
how you're conflicted.

892
00:40:19,504 --> 00:40:21,114
I wasn't
as fond of her myself.

893
00:40:24,030 --> 00:40:25,771
But when we get through this,
and I promise you,

894
00:40:25,945 --> 00:40:27,425
we will get through this,

895
00:40:27,599 --> 00:40:30,689
I guarantee you
I will make every effort to--

896
00:40:30,863 --> 00:40:32,604
[thudding, Hayes screaming]

897
00:40:32,778 --> 00:40:33,822
What the fuck!

898
00:40:35,084 --> 00:40:36,129
I did that for you.

899
00:40:38,392 --> 00:40:40,394
That right there
is the point of no return.

900
00:40:41,177 --> 00:40:43,441
Whenever someone's gonna
find this body and say,

901
00:40:43,615 --> 00:40:45,573
"Hey, why are there three
fucking chop marks in it?",

902
00:40:45,747 --> 00:40:46,966
you're gonna
know the answer to that

903
00:40:47,140 --> 00:40:48,576
'cause you saw me do it.

904
00:40:49,490 --> 00:40:50,665
We don't have
time to grieve.

905
00:40:51,536 --> 00:40:52,580
We're burning daylight.

906
00:40:54,756 --> 00:40:56,628
Can you do me a favor and get
her purse and her phone?

907
00:40:56,802 --> 00:40:57,977
They're gonna
have to come with us.

908
00:40:59,500 --> 00:41:02,111
Hey!
Her purse and her phone.

909
00:41:02,285 --> 00:41:04,766
Can you get them for me?
Please and thank you.

910
00:41:05,724 --> 00:41:07,813
[panting]

911
00:41:10,206 --> 00:41:14,123
[clock ticking]

912
00:41:19,172 --> 00:41:20,608
-♪ One night ♪
-[Corpse, muffled] Excuse me.

913
00:41:20,695 --> 00:41:22,567
♪ Under the starlight ♪

914
00:41:22,654 --> 00:41:24,482
-Excuse me?
-♪ One night ♪

915
00:41:24,569 --> 00:41:25,700
♪ Without a lamplight ♪

916
00:41:25,874 --> 00:41:27,267
Excuse me, yeah.

917
00:41:28,007 --> 00:41:29,443
Are these
your clothes in the dryer?

918
00:41:29,617 --> 00:41:31,010
'Cause they've been
in here for a while,

919
00:41:31,184 --> 00:41:32,925
and I'm about
to throw 'em on the ground.

920
00:41:33,099 --> 00:41:34,796
Uh, I'm not doing laundry,
and those are women's clothes.

921
00:41:35,623 --> 00:41:38,278
Okay, well, they could be
your girlfriend's clothes

922
00:41:38,452 --> 00:41:39,975
or some
other weird reason.

923
00:41:40,149 --> 00:41:41,803
You're sitting in a laundromat,
not doing laundry.

924
00:41:43,283 --> 00:41:45,154
I don't have a girlfriend.
How about you?

925
00:41:45,328 --> 00:41:47,243
Nope,
never had a girlfriend.

926
00:41:47,417 --> 00:41:50,464
Kissed a few girls before,
but nothing ever stuck.

927
00:41:50,638 --> 00:41:52,335
No, I meant,
how about you?

928
00:41:52,510 --> 00:41:53,685
You wanna be
my girlfriend?

929
00:41:53,859 --> 00:41:54,860
No, thanks.

930
00:41:56,078 --> 00:41:57,558
I don't think
I've seen you here before.

931
00:41:57,732 --> 00:41:58,733
You live around here?

932
00:41:58,907 --> 00:41:59,995
You don't think you've seen me

933
00:42:00,169 --> 00:42:01,388
in the laundromat before?

934
00:42:01,562 --> 00:42:02,650
Yeah.

935
00:42:03,782 --> 00:42:07,002
Well, the washing machine
I usually use is broken,

936
00:42:07,176 --> 00:42:08,700
so I came here.

937
00:42:09,788 --> 00:42:11,137
But somebody
definitely knows where I am,

938
00:42:11,311 --> 00:42:12,399
if that's
what you're getting at.

939
00:42:14,270 --> 00:42:16,403
What are you, the sheriff
of the laundromat or something?

940
00:42:17,143 --> 00:42:20,233
No. I mean, I ran
for sheriff of the laundromat,

941
00:42:20,407 --> 00:42:23,279
but I lost an election
that was clearly rigged.

942
00:42:23,453 --> 00:42:24,585
You probably wanna
hear the whole story.

943
00:42:25,238 --> 00:42:27,153
No, I'm actually
really sorry I asked,

944
00:42:27,327 --> 00:42:28,676
that sounds boring.

945
00:42:29,242 --> 00:42:32,158
I can assure you, laundromat
politics are anything but.

946
00:42:33,986 --> 00:42:35,814
If you must know,
I'm waiting for someone.

947
00:42:36,728 --> 00:42:37,946
I bet.

948
00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:39,382
What happens
when you find them?

949
00:42:39,557 --> 00:42:41,123
Does it start
with R and end with ape?

950
00:42:41,863 --> 00:42:44,562
No, I'm searching for justice.

951
00:42:44,736 --> 00:42:45,824
You probably wanna
hear the whole story.

952
00:42:45,998 --> 00:42:47,303
Nope.

953
00:42:47,477 --> 00:42:48,348
I remember it like
it was yesterday.

954
00:42:49,828 --> 00:42:52,221
It all started
six months ago.

955
00:42:52,308 --> 00:42:53,875
I was doing
some thrift store shopping.

956
00:42:53,962 --> 00:42:55,224
Nothing really
blowing my hair back.

957
00:42:58,271 --> 00:43:00,839
But then, out of the corner
of my eye, I see it.

958
00:43:00,926 --> 00:43:04,756
Baby blue,
right size, perfect color.

959
00:43:05,234 --> 00:43:06,453
You know,
I'd been hurt before.

960
00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:08,847
Thought I'd found
the perfect shirt

961
00:43:09,021 --> 00:43:11,284
only to have it
fit too tight

962
00:43:11,458 --> 00:43:13,895
or have a hole in the armpit
or a bleach stain.

963
00:43:13,982 --> 00:43:15,462
It fit like a glove.

964
00:43:15,549 --> 00:43:17,159
Something happened that day.

965
00:43:17,246 --> 00:43:19,031
The sun was
a little brighter.

966
00:43:19,118 --> 00:43:20,554
Food tasted a little better,

967
00:43:20,641 --> 00:43:22,687
and it would stay that way
until...

968
00:43:22,774 --> 00:43:23,992
that day.

969
00:43:25,254 --> 00:43:26,691
What happened?

970
00:43:26,865 --> 00:43:28,606
It happened right here
in this very laundromat.

971
00:43:29,737 --> 00:43:30,999
I remember it
like it was yesterday,

972
00:43:31,173 --> 00:43:32,522
and even
remember the date.

973
00:43:33,045 --> 00:43:34,046
September 11th.

974
00:43:34,916 --> 00:43:37,223
Baby Blue went missing.

975
00:43:37,919 --> 00:43:39,660
Stolen?

976
00:43:39,834 --> 00:43:41,880
Well, I mean, clothing doesn't
just get up and walk away.

977
00:43:42,707 --> 00:43:44,317
I hear some boots
are made for walkin'.

978
00:43:44,491 --> 00:43:45,971
Okay, I get jokes.

979
00:43:46,145 --> 00:43:48,626
See, ugh, I tried
to remember the last place

980
00:43:48,800 --> 00:43:50,715
that I had
laundered it.

981
00:43:50,802 --> 00:43:53,805
Then I remembered
the laundromat.

982
00:43:53,892 --> 00:43:56,503
A hornet's nest had
driven me from my own washer.

983
00:43:56,590 --> 00:43:58,940
Was there anyone else
in the laundromat?

984
00:43:59,027 --> 00:44:00,986
Then I remembered
the cowboy.

985
00:44:02,901 --> 00:44:05,294
I called him the cowboy
because, well,

986
00:44:05,468 --> 00:44:07,035
he wore a cowboy hat,

987
00:44:07,209 --> 00:44:08,950
and 'cause of the immortal
words he spoke to me.

988
00:44:10,256 --> 00:44:11,257
[Hayes] Howdy.

989
00:44:12,519 --> 00:44:14,129
So you're going to wait
down here all day

990
00:44:14,303 --> 00:44:15,565
on the off chance
that the cowboy

991
00:44:15,740 --> 00:44:17,437
decides to do laundry?

992
00:44:17,611 --> 00:44:19,961
And an even slimmer chance,
that he stole your shirt?

993
00:44:20,135 --> 00:44:21,267
Oh, he stole it, all right.

994
00:44:21,441 --> 00:44:22,964
He's sick.

995
00:44:23,138 --> 00:44:24,357
And I've been
monitoring his laundry habits.

996
00:44:24,531 --> 00:44:26,359
Tuesdays seem
to be a sweet spot.

997
00:44:26,533 --> 00:44:28,317
And how long
do you plan on waiting here?

998
00:44:28,491 --> 00:44:29,797
As long as it takes.

999
00:44:29,971 --> 00:44:31,581
And you don't
find that boring?

1000
00:44:31,756 --> 00:44:35,194
Well, I mean, I work nights
and, uh, whiskey helps.

1001
00:44:35,368 --> 00:44:36,456
[Corpse laughs]

1002
00:44:37,544 --> 00:44:39,981
Have you actually ever seen
the cowboy wear your shirt?

1003
00:44:40,155 --> 00:44:42,505
Oh, no, no, no.
He's way too smart for that.

1004
00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:44,029
He wasn't counting
on one thing.

1005
00:44:44,682 --> 00:44:46,727
Your delusions
and flexible schedule?

1006
00:44:46,901 --> 00:44:48,207
-Exactly.
-Okay.

1007
00:44:49,208 --> 00:44:50,992
So, I see him
in here the other day

1008
00:44:51,079 --> 00:44:53,342
and I set the trap.

1009
00:44:53,429 --> 00:44:56,128
"Howdy." he says,
like a fucking idiot.

1010
00:44:56,302 --> 00:44:57,564
Say, "I'm moving to Delaware."

1011
00:44:59,131 --> 00:45:00,567
[bell dings]

1012
00:45:00,741 --> 00:45:02,525
"So you won't be
seeing me around here no more.

1013
00:45:02,700 --> 00:45:05,572
Not in this town, and certainly
not in this laundromat."

1014
00:45:06,878 --> 00:45:08,270
It's gonna be great.

1015
00:45:08,444 --> 00:45:09,837
The cowboy is
going to mosey on in here

1016
00:45:10,011 --> 00:45:11,230
without a care
in the world.

1017
00:45:12,840 --> 00:45:14,276
And then he'll see me,

1018
00:45:14,450 --> 00:45:16,061
"Ah, ah, I thought you moved
to Delaware?"

1019
00:45:17,497 --> 00:45:19,281
Nope, asshole,
just doing some laundry.

1020
00:45:19,455 --> 00:45:20,892
[coins clinking]

1021
00:45:21,066 --> 00:45:22,894
-Need to borrow some quarters?
-[laughs]

1022
00:45:23,068 --> 00:45:24,460
Then I got him.

1023
00:45:25,157 --> 00:45:27,028
So why'd you actually
pack a suitcase

1024
00:45:27,202 --> 00:45:29,074
full of clothes
and bring it to the laundromat?

1025
00:45:30,249 --> 00:45:32,164
For weight. Why are you trying
to ruin this for me?

1026
00:45:32,338 --> 00:45:35,123
I'm just saying, there's
probably easier ways to do it.

1027
00:45:36,255 --> 00:45:37,735
I could seduce him,

1028
00:45:38,561 --> 00:45:39,606
spend the night,

1029
00:45:40,259 --> 00:45:41,651
steal the shirt
the next morning.

1030
00:45:42,914 --> 00:45:44,176
You'd be willing
to do that for me?

1031
00:45:45,090 --> 00:45:47,309
Maybe. I guess
I'd have to see the shirt.

1032
00:45:48,441 --> 00:45:50,617
Oh,
and by the way, back there,

1033
00:45:51,270 --> 00:45:52,445
you were just like,
"Hey, maybe these are

1034
00:45:52,619 --> 00:45:54,055
your girlfriend's clothes."

1035
00:45:54,229 --> 00:45:56,797
Very subtle way
of finding out if I'm single.

1036
00:45:56,971 --> 00:45:58,407
I think we've established

1037
00:45:58,581 --> 00:46:00,540
that it's probably gonna
stay that way for you.

1038
00:46:00,714 --> 00:46:02,237
Oh, yet here you are.

1039
00:46:02,411 --> 00:46:04,109
Waiting with me
in the laundromat, interesting.

1040
00:46:04,283 --> 00:46:05,850
I'm doing laundry!

1041
00:46:06,981 --> 00:46:08,678
And I guess
it would be kind of cool

1042
00:46:08,853 --> 00:46:10,898
to see the cowboy
punch you in the throat.

1043
00:46:11,072 --> 00:46:12,378
He sounds kinda hot.

1044
00:46:13,683 --> 00:46:14,772
What's your name?

1045
00:46:16,469 --> 00:46:17,818
You struck me
as the kind of fellow

1046
00:46:17,992 --> 00:46:20,038
that likes to be
in control of a situation.

1047
00:46:20,212 --> 00:46:24,129
[clock ticking]

1048
00:46:24,303 --> 00:46:27,262
But what I found about
most men's sexual desires,

1049
00:46:27,436 --> 00:46:28,873
is it's the opposite
of the image

1050
00:46:29,047 --> 00:46:30,091
they like to portray.

1051
00:46:33,399 --> 00:46:36,054
-[Hayes grunting in pain]
-[giggling]

1052
00:46:36,228 --> 00:46:38,143
Dominate might be
the wrong word.

1053
00:46:39,709 --> 00:46:41,668
Humiliate's more
of the word I'm looking for.

1054
00:46:42,190 --> 00:46:43,583
-Oh, yeah?
-Yeah.

1055
00:46:43,757 --> 00:46:45,019
Don't you think
it's humiliating

1056
00:46:45,193 --> 00:46:46,542
when you make
a girl suck your cock?

1057
00:46:47,500 --> 00:46:48,631
I haven't thought about it.

1058
00:46:49,284 --> 00:46:52,200
Why does everybody lie
about their sexual hang-ups?

1059
00:46:54,028 --> 00:46:57,162
I could do a really, really
good job at humiliating you.

1060
00:46:58,380 --> 00:47:00,556
[giggling]
[thudding]

1061
00:47:00,730 --> 00:47:01,993
Let's get
something straight.

1062
00:47:02,602 --> 00:47:03,995
I'm not one of these guys

1063
00:47:04,169 --> 00:47:05,344
who's all hung up
on not hitting women.

1064
00:47:05,518 --> 00:47:06,911
Yeah.
Would that ring your bell?

1065
00:47:07,563 --> 00:47:09,217
Me making you
suck a cock?

1066
00:47:09,783 --> 00:47:10,828
[thudding]

1067
00:47:12,612 --> 00:47:14,744
Let's put the cuckoo

1068
00:47:14,919 --> 00:47:16,529
back in the clock,
shall we?

1069
00:47:16,703 --> 00:47:18,879
No, you don't need
to get all huffy puffy.

1070
00:47:19,532 --> 00:47:20,707
I'm just saying
you have some

1071
00:47:20,881 --> 00:47:22,578
female domination
in your future.

1072
00:47:24,015 --> 00:47:25,930
Honestly, I don't feel
like I'm the marriage type.

1073
00:47:26,104 --> 00:47:28,062
[upbeat
percussive instrumental]

1074
00:47:28,236 --> 00:47:29,237
[moaning]

1075
00:47:29,411 --> 00:47:34,373
♪

1076
00:47:40,596 --> 00:47:42,468
[moaning]

1077
00:47:58,571 --> 00:47:59,615
[Hayes] Are you eating?

1078
00:48:00,355 --> 00:48:02,880
Yeah, I have to.
I mean, to live.

1079
00:48:03,924 --> 00:48:05,534
What do you want,
two bodies to dispose of?

1080
00:48:07,580 --> 00:48:09,625
I'll tell you, though,
this is taking a lot longer

1081
00:48:09,799 --> 00:48:10,844
than I thought
it was going to.

1082
00:48:11,584 --> 00:48:12,846
It's gonna be
fucking dark soon.

1083
00:48:13,412 --> 00:48:14,456
We can't do this.

1084
00:48:15,283 --> 00:48:16,545
This is never gonna work.

1085
00:48:16,719 --> 00:48:18,025
Well, I certainly wish

1086
00:48:18,199 --> 00:48:19,984
you'd expressed
those concerns before!

1087
00:48:21,855 --> 00:48:23,552
Look, this little lady here

1088
00:48:23,726 --> 00:48:25,641
would tell anybody
who would listen to her

1089
00:48:25,815 --> 00:48:28,862
her dreams and aspirations
to leave this one horse town.

1090
00:48:29,689 --> 00:48:31,125
Maybe one day
that's just what she did.

1091
00:48:32,648 --> 00:48:35,042
Oh, look,
I gotta hand it to you.

1092
00:48:36,696 --> 00:48:38,002
Wait, is this her...

1093
00:48:38,872 --> 00:48:39,917
That's great!

1094
00:48:41,831 --> 00:48:43,137
It's not bad, right?
No leaks.

1095
00:48:44,051 --> 00:48:45,313
Oh, my God.
I have to throw up.

1096
00:48:45,487 --> 00:48:46,532
[coughing]

1097
00:48:48,751 --> 00:48:50,753
[doorbell rings]

1098
00:48:54,844 --> 00:48:57,325
[dance music playing]

1099
00:48:59,980 --> 00:49:01,286
This isn't gonna work.

1100
00:49:01,460 --> 00:49:05,159
[clock ticking]

1101
00:49:06,900 --> 00:49:08,380
What, are you too busy

1102
00:49:08,554 --> 00:49:10,817
thinking about
your fucking friend, Ralph?

1103
00:49:13,385 --> 00:49:15,213
Oh, for fuck's sake.

1104
00:49:17,519 --> 00:49:18,651
Ugh.

1105
00:49:21,045 --> 00:49:22,960
You know,
a digit or two up the old anus

1106
00:49:23,134 --> 00:49:24,962
oftentimes gets
the ball rolling.

1107
00:49:26,093 --> 00:49:27,790
Read into that
what you will.

1108
00:49:29,836 --> 00:49:30,924
Right.

1109
00:49:32,273 --> 00:49:33,666
This one's yours.

1110
00:49:35,146 --> 00:49:37,278
No, that one's not mine.

1111
00:49:39,628 --> 00:49:41,848
Your matching face paint
gives you away.

1112
00:49:43,023 --> 00:49:44,111
For what it's worth...

1113
00:49:45,504 --> 00:49:47,245
I think
his blood alcohol level

1114
00:49:47,419 --> 00:49:48,594
has rendered him useless

1115
00:49:48,768 --> 00:49:50,291
for my immediate
purposes as well.

1116
00:49:53,381 --> 00:49:54,992
How long
has he been useless for you?

1117
00:49:55,166 --> 00:49:56,471
What?

1118
00:49:57,037 --> 00:49:59,039
There are only two reasons

1119
00:49:59,213 --> 00:50:00,998
a man would wear
Raggedy Andy face paint.

1120
00:50:02,260 --> 00:50:03,304
He's trying to fuck you.

1121
00:50:04,436 --> 00:50:05,785
And hey,
who could blame him.

1122
00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:09,267
Or, he is
already fucking you,

1123
00:50:09,441 --> 00:50:10,877
and he's just
been worn down

1124
00:50:11,051 --> 00:50:13,358
to some kind
of submission point.

1125
00:50:18,624 --> 00:50:19,886
So what now?

1126
00:50:21,453 --> 00:50:22,454
Some hair pulling?

1127
00:50:23,759 --> 00:50:25,457
Us tumbling out
onto the front lawn?

1128
00:50:27,459 --> 00:50:28,677
Agreed.

1129
00:50:28,851 --> 00:50:30,201
In our ridiculous costumes

1130
00:50:30,375 --> 00:50:32,377
this could provide
some levity, but...

1131
00:50:33,639 --> 00:50:35,815
given what I'm taking
is disillusionment from you,

1132
00:50:35,989 --> 00:50:37,730
I'm hoping
we can avoid that?

1133
00:50:41,560 --> 00:50:43,518
Fuck it,
it's way too fucking cold out,

1134
00:50:43,692 --> 00:50:44,867
and he's not worth it.

1135
00:50:47,131 --> 00:50:48,393
I think
that's an excellent choice.

1136
00:50:49,872 --> 00:50:52,136
And I even have
an alternative.

1137
00:50:53,615 --> 00:50:55,226
It's called cocaine,

1138
00:50:55,965 --> 00:50:57,663
and everybody's doing it.

1139
00:50:59,317 --> 00:51:02,624
Now, I'm of course
not suggesting that drugs

1140
00:51:02,798 --> 00:51:07,847
are the answer,
but they can be a answer.

1141
00:51:09,066 --> 00:51:10,415
Fuck it.

1142
00:51:10,980 --> 00:51:13,026
I think I got some straws
in my purse from the drive-in.

1143
00:51:15,942 --> 00:51:17,291
And there's a mirror
over here somewhere.

1144
00:51:17,465 --> 00:51:19,032
-Mm-mm-mm, can't do it.
-No?

1145
00:51:19,206 --> 00:51:20,903
No, something about
doing hard drugs

1146
00:51:21,078 --> 00:51:22,818
and having to look at myself
when I do them depresses me.

1147
00:51:22,992 --> 00:51:24,298
Bible?

1148
00:51:24,472 --> 00:51:25,517
That is fine.

1149
00:51:28,041 --> 00:51:29,477
Is your boyfriend
some kind of bible beater?

1150
00:51:29,651 --> 00:51:33,264
[clock ticking]

1151
00:51:35,831 --> 00:51:37,616
I don't know
what the Bible's all about.

1152
00:51:37,790 --> 00:51:39,139
It probably
came with the house.

1153
00:51:40,053 --> 00:51:42,577
He inherited it
and all the shit in it.

1154
00:51:44,623 --> 00:51:46,059
He just
lets things happen to him,

1155
00:51:46,233 --> 00:51:47,452
that's kind of his thing.

1156
00:51:49,280 --> 00:51:51,630
So who's this guy
in all the pictures?

1157
00:51:52,544 --> 00:51:55,068
Oh, that's Addison,
that's his butt buddy.

1158
00:51:56,722 --> 00:51:57,766
Does he live here, too?

1159
00:51:57,940 --> 00:51:59,028
He might as well.

1160
00:52:00,378 --> 00:52:01,770
Who's he dating,
him or you?

1161
00:52:01,944 --> 00:52:03,859
There are
a lot of pictures of him.

1162
00:52:04,469 --> 00:52:06,775
Yeah, there's one
back there of me, actually.

1163
00:52:06,949 --> 00:52:08,081
[Vampire] This one?

1164
00:52:08,255 --> 00:52:09,691
Oh, yeah. Here we go.

1165
00:52:11,650 --> 00:52:12,781
[Corpse sniffing]

1166
00:52:13,608 --> 00:52:15,784
Probably just waiting
to get a proper frame.

1167
00:52:15,958 --> 00:52:18,526
[laughing]

1168
00:52:21,442 --> 00:52:22,487
Do you wanna kill him?

1169
00:52:24,445 --> 00:52:25,707
You think
we could get away with it?

1170
00:52:27,187 --> 00:52:28,623
There's only
one way to find out.

1171
00:52:32,323 --> 00:52:35,152
It's pretty hard to kill
somebody who's already dead.

1172
00:52:36,849 --> 00:52:38,111
[clock ticking]

1173
00:52:38,285 --> 00:52:39,504
[sniffing]

1174
00:52:45,684 --> 00:52:46,859
It's a cool house.

1175
00:52:47,033 --> 00:52:48,556
[Corpse] It's a cold house.

1176
00:52:51,603 --> 00:52:53,518
And he lives here all alone?

1177
00:52:53,996 --> 00:52:55,737
[Corpse] Yeah.
I wish he never got it.

1178
00:52:55,911 --> 00:52:57,478
It's given him
just enough reason

1179
00:52:57,652 --> 00:52:58,784
to never do anything.

1180
00:52:59,872 --> 00:53:01,961
Oh, my God,
this is the sleeping bag.

1181
00:53:03,789 --> 00:53:06,008
The sleeping bag
we first had sex in.

1182
00:53:06,487 --> 00:53:07,793
-Sleeping bag?
-Yeah.

1183
00:53:07,967 --> 00:53:09,577
That's below futon.

1184
00:53:11,100 --> 00:53:12,319
So you lived in New York?

1185
00:53:13,059 --> 00:53:14,103
Yeah.

1186
00:53:14,278 --> 00:53:17,890
[clock ticking]

1187
00:53:19,718 --> 00:53:21,241
I'm moving there
this summer.

1188
00:53:22,155 --> 00:53:23,809
My aunt
lives in Astoria.

1189
00:53:25,158 --> 00:53:26,246
You know where that is?

1190
00:53:27,465 --> 00:53:29,031
Don't tell people
you're going to New York.

1191
00:53:29,597 --> 00:53:30,685
What? Why?

1192
00:53:31,512 --> 00:53:36,125
Because... one day
you might not go,

1193
00:53:36,300 --> 00:53:38,215
and you'll begrudgingly
have to stop saying it.

1194
00:53:38,911 --> 00:53:42,306
Well, I'm definitely going,
so don't worry about me.

1195
00:53:44,133 --> 00:53:46,266
Listen,
I don't mean to discourage you.

1196
00:53:47,398 --> 00:53:50,139
I mean, you're about
180 pounds lighter,

1197
00:53:50,314 --> 00:53:52,098
that should make it
easier for you to get there.

1198
00:53:56,450 --> 00:53:58,670
I had to swear off
relationships altogether.

1199
00:53:59,279 --> 00:54:01,107
Someone you'll
wind up hating has robbed you

1200
00:54:01,281 --> 00:54:03,065
of your
most precious resource.

1201
00:54:03,240 --> 00:54:05,067
-So true.
-Time.

1202
00:54:05,633 --> 00:54:07,374
It's precious
because you can't get it back.

1203
00:54:09,768 --> 00:54:12,379
Humans can
really waste your time.

1204
00:54:13,641 --> 00:54:14,729
Don't bother with them.

1205
00:54:15,774 --> 00:54:18,211
Unless they get in your way.

1206
00:54:18,385 --> 00:54:20,344
Then you
mow them the fuck down.

1207
00:54:21,910 --> 00:54:22,998
Are you with me?

1208
00:54:24,652 --> 00:54:26,959
-Are you with me?
-Yeah.

1209
00:54:27,612 --> 00:54:28,613
Oh, shit.

1210
00:54:29,396 --> 00:54:31,572
-You're bleeding.
-Oh, fuck!

1211
00:54:32,399 --> 00:54:33,879
-Oh, wait, wait.
-Oh, my God.

1212
00:54:34,053 --> 00:54:35,489
Don't tip it-- don't tip
it back, tip it forward.

1213
00:54:35,663 --> 00:54:37,186
-[Corpse] Oh my God.
-Good, good.

1214
00:54:37,361 --> 00:54:38,884
-I'm such an idiot.
-[Vampire] No, no, no, no.

1215
00:54:39,058 --> 00:54:40,494
It's a little one,
it's a small one, you're good.

1216
00:54:40,668 --> 00:54:42,235
Fucking idiot,
I ruined your fucking coke.

1217
00:54:42,409 --> 00:54:44,368
-No, it's okay.
-Oh, fuck.

1218
00:54:47,632 --> 00:54:48,720
That's perfectly fine.

1219
00:54:52,158 --> 00:54:53,681
And I think
you look great.

1220
00:54:54,552 --> 00:54:55,596
What are you doing?

1221
00:54:57,990 --> 00:54:59,513
Do you wanna
fuck around on top of him?

1222
00:54:59,687 --> 00:55:02,603
["Coldwater Canyon"
by Heavy Young Heathens]

1223
00:55:02,690 --> 00:55:05,389
♪ Life is a motherfucker ♪

1224
00:55:09,610 --> 00:55:10,829
[moaning]

1225
00:55:12,178 --> 00:55:15,747
[clock ticking]

1226
00:55:16,835 --> 00:55:19,316
[Corpse] What was that thing
you said again, you know,

1227
00:55:19,490 --> 00:55:20,926
about the ones
that get in your way?

1228
00:55:21,883 --> 00:55:24,146
[mumbling] What wa--
What was-- What...

1229
00:55:24,321 --> 00:55:25,365
What was that?

1230
00:55:26,366 --> 00:55:27,585
Mow 'em the fuck down.

1231
00:55:27,759 --> 00:55:28,847
[glass shattering]

1232
00:55:29,021 --> 00:55:30,022
Excuse me for a second.

1233
00:55:30,196 --> 00:55:32,764
Hey, hold on, hold on!

1234
00:55:34,461 --> 00:55:35,767
Fuck!

1235
00:55:35,941 --> 00:55:37,899
["Sittin' Pretty"
by Brendan Benson]

1236
00:55:37,986 --> 00:55:40,249
♪ If I point
my gun at you ♪

1237
00:55:42,513 --> 00:55:45,167
♪ Are you gonna
see it my way? ♪

1238
00:55:46,691 --> 00:55:49,346
♪ And if I tell
you what to do ♪

1239
00:55:51,043 --> 00:55:52,261
Sharon Tate.

1240
00:55:52,958 --> 00:55:56,135
-Jesus! Piss outside.
-I already did.

1241
00:55:57,963 --> 00:56:00,879
[rewinding audio]

1242
00:56:04,926 --> 00:56:07,407
[TV announcer] Hot dogs
with all the trimmings.

1243
00:56:07,494 --> 00:56:10,410
For men and boys,
girls and women.

1244
00:56:10,584 --> 00:56:12,064
[clock ticking]

1245
00:56:13,979 --> 00:56:16,938
Showtime starts in one minute.

1246
00:56:17,722 --> 00:56:19,071
[clock ticking]

1247
00:56:22,640 --> 00:56:23,902
When things are heating up...

1248
00:56:24,076 --> 00:56:25,469
[Corpse laughs]

1249
00:56:25,643 --> 00:56:27,688
I'm gonna fucking kill you.

1250
00:56:27,775 --> 00:56:29,734
[TV presenter]
... why not take one last trip

1251
00:56:29,821 --> 00:56:31,300
to the concession stand

1252
00:56:31,388 --> 00:56:33,041
to cool down
with a tasty treat?

1253
00:56:33,868 --> 00:56:35,087
Whatever happened
to cursive writing?

1254
00:56:35,261 --> 00:56:36,218
You remember that shit?

1255
00:56:36,393 --> 00:56:40,048
[clock ticking]

1256
00:56:40,222 --> 00:56:41,833
In school,
they acted like

1257
00:56:42,007 --> 00:56:43,312
it was the only way
you'd be able to communicate.

1258
00:56:43,400 --> 00:56:44,575
Meanwhile,
I never use it.

1259
00:56:45,793 --> 00:56:48,579
-Oh!
-[laughs]

1260
00:56:50,494 --> 00:56:52,234
Computers.

1261
00:56:52,409 --> 00:56:53,932
It's like everything else,
the machines are taking over.

1262
00:56:54,541 --> 00:56:56,282
[Hayes] How close do you think
we are to creating a robot

1263
00:56:56,456 --> 00:56:57,979
we can have sex with?

1264
00:56:58,153 --> 00:57:00,460
Oh, tech's there,
that's what's gonna happen.

1265
00:57:00,634 --> 00:57:03,507
Machines are gonna rise up,
intercourse us and kill us.

1266
00:57:04,116 --> 00:57:05,900
[Hayes] Would you be upset
if I had sex with a robot?

1267
00:57:06,074 --> 00:57:07,641
Is that cheating?

1268
00:57:07,815 --> 00:57:08,729
[Corpse] Surprisingly,
I've never thought of it.

1269
00:57:08,903 --> 00:57:10,601
[coin clinking]

1270
00:57:10,775 --> 00:57:12,124
Well, if you say it's cheating,
I'm gonna call bullshit

1271
00:57:12,211 --> 00:57:13,473
'cause you have
a vibrator and that's

1272
00:57:13,647 --> 00:57:15,344
pretty much
the same fucking thing.

1273
00:57:15,519 --> 00:57:17,521
[Corpse] Why would you be
fucking the robot and not me?

1274
00:57:17,695 --> 00:57:19,479
Well,
I would imagine it's because

1275
00:57:19,653 --> 00:57:22,003
the robot might be
willing to do a few things

1276
00:57:22,177 --> 00:57:24,484
that you're not willing to do,
at least not while sober.

1277
00:57:24,658 --> 00:57:26,530
-Mm.
-[coin clinking]

1278
00:57:27,182 --> 00:57:29,924
Now, I would definitely
have sex with a robot.

1279
00:57:30,098 --> 00:57:31,622
[chuckles]
That's a shocker.

1280
00:57:31,796 --> 00:57:33,058
I may have already,
I'm not sure.

1281
00:57:33,232 --> 00:57:34,538
-Is a vacuum a robot?
-[coin clinking]

1282
00:57:34,712 --> 00:57:36,191
The problem would be
if you started

1283
00:57:36,365 --> 00:57:38,237
to prefer sex with a robot
over your partner.

1284
00:57:38,411 --> 00:57:39,673
[Addison] It is interesting.

1285
00:57:39,847 --> 00:57:42,023
He does jerk off more now

1286
00:57:42,197 --> 00:57:44,069
that he's
in the relationship.

1287
00:57:44,243 --> 00:57:45,418
Now, he says he uses you

1288
00:57:45,592 --> 00:57:46,985
as the final fuel
for the orgasm,

1289
00:57:47,159 --> 00:57:48,813
if that's any consolation.

1290
00:57:48,987 --> 00:57:50,336
Well, I think
that's a standup move.

1291
00:57:51,250 --> 00:57:52,904
How does he know all this?

1292
00:57:53,078 --> 00:57:54,514
The same way I know
you have a fucking vibrator.

1293
00:57:54,688 --> 00:57:56,951
Okay,
thank you for all of this.

1294
00:57:57,517 --> 00:57:58,649
[Addison] You're very welcome.

1295
00:57:58,823 --> 00:58:00,477
Wait,
was that not sincere?

1296
00:58:00,651 --> 00:58:01,782
[friend] The good news is,
if you take those courses

1297
00:58:01,956 --> 00:58:03,392
I was telling you about?

1298
00:58:03,567 --> 00:58:05,525
You'd be better equipped
to maintain your robot.

1299
00:58:06,265 --> 00:58:07,658
What courses?

1300
00:58:07,832 --> 00:58:09,268
[Hayes] These, uh,
electrician courses.

1301
00:58:09,442 --> 00:58:11,139
Said it only took him,
what, two years?

1302
00:58:11,313 --> 00:58:13,011
And entry level
$15 an hour.

1303
00:58:14,012 --> 00:58:15,230
Why would you
want to do that?

1304
00:58:15,796 --> 00:58:17,189
[Hayes]
Uh, because $15 an hour

1305
00:58:17,363 --> 00:58:18,930
is a hell
of a lot more than I make now

1306
00:58:19,104 --> 00:58:21,062
and I like to use money
to buy goods and services?

1307
00:58:21,889 --> 00:58:23,500
[Addison] You don't want to be
a fucking electrician.

1308
00:58:24,588 --> 00:58:26,241
[Hayes] Well, I don't wanna
sling popcorn either.

1309
00:58:27,286 --> 00:58:28,679
[coin clinking]

1310
00:58:29,331 --> 00:58:31,725
[Addison] What the fuck is
wrong with slinging popcorn?

1311
00:58:31,899 --> 00:58:33,031
Nothing,
I just want more

1312
00:58:33,205 --> 00:58:34,554
in my bank account
than $500.

1313
00:58:35,120 --> 00:58:36,556
[Corpse] You're actually
gonna have to do something

1314
00:58:36,730 --> 00:58:38,210
about that to change that,
did you know it?

1315
00:58:38,384 --> 00:58:39,603
Hey, you know what?

1316
00:58:39,777 --> 00:58:41,256
You make
his personal life miserable.

1317
00:58:41,430 --> 00:58:42,693
Does he have to be
miserable at work as well?

1318
00:58:42,780 --> 00:58:44,172
God, I am miserable at work.

1319
00:58:44,346 --> 00:58:45,565
[Addison] No, I mean,
you would be

1320
00:58:45,739 --> 00:58:46,914
more miserable
as an electrician.

1321
00:58:47,088 --> 00:58:48,046
[friend]
As the only one here

1322
00:58:48,220 --> 00:58:49,395
who's an actual electrician,

1323
00:58:49,569 --> 00:58:51,049
I can say
that I'm not miserable.

1324
00:58:51,615 --> 00:58:53,051
Well, okay, how about I check
back with you

1325
00:58:53,225 --> 00:58:54,531
in a couple of years
when you're cleaning out

1326
00:58:54,705 --> 00:58:56,315
the anus of your sex robot,

1327
00:58:56,489 --> 00:58:58,012
and you have to take
a real hard look at your life?

1328
00:58:58,491 --> 00:59:00,058
[friend] The whole thing
about liking your job

1329
00:59:00,232 --> 00:59:02,103
sounds great in theory,
but do you know

1330
00:59:02,277 --> 00:59:03,714
that many people
that actually love their job?

1331
00:59:03,888 --> 00:59:05,324
[Addison] I don't care.

1332
00:59:05,498 --> 00:59:07,065
I just know
that he wouldn't like your job.

1333
00:59:08,109 --> 00:59:09,633
[Corpse] So why do you assume
it's me that makes

1334
00:59:09,807 --> 00:59:11,243
his personal life miserable?

1335
00:59:11,417 --> 00:59:13,071
Okay, I never said
my life was miserable.

1336
00:59:13,245 --> 00:59:14,899
[Addison] Well, of course
your life is miserable.

1337
00:59:15,073 --> 00:59:16,727
Why the fuck do you think
he's jerking off so much?

1338
00:59:16,901 --> 00:59:17,945
Okay, I don't jerk--

1339
00:59:19,033 --> 00:59:20,295
I jerk off
the normal amount, all right?

1340
00:59:21,122 --> 00:59:22,515
[friend] It's a pretty
sweet gig, though.

1341
00:59:22,689 --> 00:59:24,473
You get health insurance,
paid time off.

1342
00:59:24,648 --> 00:59:26,040
[Corpse] Do you get stock
options?

1343
00:59:26,214 --> 00:59:27,781
[friend] Well,
certain companies, you can--

1344
00:59:27,955 --> 00:59:30,958
[Addison] Oh, my God.
She is not being serious.

1345
00:59:32,264 --> 00:59:34,048
Those people who say
that it's never too late

1346
00:59:34,222 --> 00:59:36,268
to go back to school,
that is absolutely not true.

1347
00:59:36,442 --> 00:59:39,053
It is too late.
There is an expiration date.

1348
00:59:39,619 --> 00:59:41,490
Plus, it's a proven fact
that most electricians

1349
00:59:41,665 --> 00:59:43,492
are convicted sex offenders.

1350
00:59:44,624 --> 00:59:46,278
[Corpse]
Are you so scared of success

1351
00:59:46,452 --> 00:59:47,540
that you're
determined to bring

1352
00:59:47,714 --> 00:59:48,802
everybody down
to your level?

1353
00:59:49,629 --> 00:59:50,587
[Addison]
I'm not scared of success,

1354
00:59:50,761 --> 00:59:51,979
I've achieved success.

1355
00:59:52,153 --> 00:59:53,328
I've gotten everything I want.

1356
00:59:53,502 --> 00:59:55,940
For your information, sister,

1357
00:59:56,114 --> 00:59:57,550
I am a natural-born leader.

1358
00:59:57,724 --> 00:59:59,639
[Corpse] Oh, God, at what?

1359
01:00:00,118 --> 01:00:01,510
Okay. Look at movies.

1360
01:00:01,685 --> 01:00:03,338
You know,
whatever disaster it is,

1361
01:00:03,512 --> 01:00:05,297
be it robot,
alien or zombie,

1362
01:00:05,471 --> 01:00:06,777
I'm your natural leader type.

1363
01:00:06,951 --> 01:00:08,779
I'm sarcastic,
quick on my feet,

1364
01:00:08,953 --> 01:00:10,650
seemingly
never amounted to much.

1365
01:00:10,824 --> 01:00:12,173
I probably
still have an ex-girlfriend

1366
01:00:12,347 --> 01:00:13,740
that carries
a bit of a torch for me.

1367
01:00:13,914 --> 01:00:15,699
So, in this situation,
does our hero

1368
01:00:15,873 --> 01:00:17,875
get winded
after running 30 yards?

1369
01:00:18,049 --> 01:00:20,007
'Cause you seem
to have a problem with that.

1370
01:00:20,181 --> 01:00:21,618
Believe you me.

1371
01:00:21,792 --> 01:00:24,446
When the robots come,
and they rise up to,

1372
01:00:24,621 --> 01:00:26,535
you know,
fuck us/kill us,

1373
01:00:26,710 --> 01:00:28,015
I'll be ready to lead.

1374
01:00:29,364 --> 01:00:32,324
Trust me, you do not want
to be a fucking electrician.

1375
01:00:32,498 --> 01:00:33,717
[Hayes] That's not in dispute.

1376
01:00:33,891 --> 01:00:34,805
Nobody wants
to be an electrician.

1377
01:00:34,979 --> 01:00:36,458
-[coin clinking]
-Shit.

1378
01:00:36,633 --> 01:00:39,244
[doorbell ringing]

1379
01:00:40,593 --> 01:00:41,768
Who's that?

1380
01:00:42,290 --> 01:00:44,641
Well, I can't see
'cause there's a wall there.

1381
01:00:51,778 --> 01:00:53,824
-[knocking on door]
-[doorbell ringing]

1382
01:00:53,911 --> 01:00:57,436
[man] Hello, guys.
I need to talk to you.

1383
01:00:57,523 --> 01:01:00,004
Just wanna ask you
a couple of questions

1384
01:01:00,091 --> 01:01:02,093
about a party
you had here last night.

1385
01:01:03,964 --> 01:01:05,531
Don't say anything
and he'll go away.

1386
01:01:07,054 --> 01:01:09,666
-Be right there!
-What the fuck are you doing?

1387
01:01:15,672 --> 01:01:17,064
[knocking on door]

1388
01:01:18,631 --> 01:01:19,719
[Clyde] Hello?

1389
01:01:28,336 --> 01:01:29,686
We need to know who that is.

1390
01:01:29,860 --> 01:01:31,383
It's probably just
some idiot customer.

1391
01:01:31,557 --> 01:01:32,819
Then you answer it.

1392
01:01:33,994 --> 01:01:36,910
I would, but it really looks
like it's my time of the month.

1393
01:01:37,084 --> 01:01:38,607
Look, it's only 5:30,

1394
01:01:38,782 --> 01:01:40,348
there's no way
that can be anybody important.

1395
01:01:42,481 --> 01:01:44,396
All formal complaints
must be lodged down

1396
01:01:44,570 --> 01:01:46,050
at the drive-in during
regular business hours.

1397
01:01:46,224 --> 01:01:47,486
You said it
one million times,

1398
01:01:47,660 --> 01:01:48,966
I just need
you to say it right now.

1399
01:01:49,140 --> 01:01:50,445
But what if it's not nobody?

1400
01:01:51,882 --> 01:01:53,535
Well, we need
to know that, too.

1401
01:01:56,669 --> 01:01:57,844
[Clyde] Mr. Hayes?

1402
01:01:58,366 --> 01:01:59,846
Yeah, I'm the manager
of the drive-in.

1403
01:02:00,020 --> 01:02:02,196
Great. Are you the owner
of this house?

1404
01:02:04,068 --> 01:02:06,287
Yeah. It's, uh--
it's a private residence.

1405
01:02:06,461 --> 01:02:07,898
And you're Mr. Hayes?

1406
01:02:09,508 --> 01:02:10,727
Yeah.
How do you know that?

1407
01:02:11,336 --> 01:02:12,946
It's right down there
in the mailbox.

1408
01:02:13,120 --> 01:02:14,948
Oh, yeah, right.

1409
01:02:15,514 --> 01:02:16,820
So, would you be the person

1410
01:02:16,994 --> 01:02:19,213
who was hosting a party
here last night?

1411
01:02:19,387 --> 01:02:20,693
A Halloween party?

1412
01:02:21,302 --> 01:02:23,522
Uh, yeah, I mean,
at the drive-in.

1413
01:02:23,696 --> 01:02:24,958
We're closing for the season,

1414
01:02:25,132 --> 01:02:26,568
so we had a--
a small staff party.

1415
01:02:27,482 --> 01:02:29,963
But it was a Halloween party?
People in costume?

1416
01:02:30,572 --> 01:02:33,967
Yeah. I dressed up too.
Uh, do you dress up?

1417
01:02:34,141 --> 01:02:36,622
Never really celebrated
the day, Mr. Hayes.

1418
01:02:37,666 --> 01:02:38,885
Do you live here alone?

1419
01:02:39,799 --> 01:02:40,887
[Hayes] Yep.

1420
01:02:41,496 --> 01:02:43,194
I thought I heard
another person in there.

1421
01:02:44,369 --> 01:02:45,718
[Hayes] Nope.

1422
01:02:45,892 --> 01:02:48,068
Are you okay, Mr. Hayes?
You seem anxious.

1423
01:02:48,242 --> 01:02:49,591
Is there something wrong?

1424
01:02:50,157 --> 01:02:52,551
Yeah, I'm just, uh--
just a little hungover.

1425
01:02:53,334 --> 01:02:54,858
Makes sense.

1426
01:02:55,032 --> 01:02:56,773
Probably had something to do
with the alcohol.

1427
01:02:58,557 --> 01:03:00,515
I don't know
if I look familiar to you.

1428
01:03:00,689 --> 01:03:03,301
Don't worry, I'm not here
in any official capacity.

1429
01:03:03,475 --> 01:03:05,477
If I was,
I'd come out with a partner.

1430
01:03:05,651 --> 01:03:06,739
It's procedure.

1431
01:03:07,348 --> 01:03:08,610
I'm just hoping
you can help me.

1432
01:03:09,089 --> 01:03:10,047
With what?

1433
01:03:10,221 --> 01:03:11,918
I'm looking for a girl.

1434
01:03:12,092 --> 01:03:14,921
[dramatic echo]

1435
01:03:18,838 --> 01:03:20,448
-What?
-She was here,

1436
01:03:20,622 --> 01:03:22,102
she was at the party.

1437
01:03:24,017 --> 01:03:25,279
Is she missing?

1438
01:03:25,453 --> 01:03:28,326
Yep, and that has me
very worried.

1439
01:03:28,979 --> 01:03:31,808
I wanted to get here sooner,
but there were some issues.

1440
01:03:33,070 --> 01:03:36,029
I think there's a fair chance
she may be here in this house.

1441
01:03:36,203 --> 01:03:38,292
No, like I told you,
I'm here by myself.

1442
01:03:38,902 --> 01:03:40,729
Mr. Hayes,
this is all I need.

1443
01:03:40,904 --> 01:03:43,167
I just need to come in and ask
you a few very basic questions.

1444
01:03:43,341 --> 01:03:45,778
You answer honestly,
and I'm fairly certain

1445
01:03:45,952 --> 01:03:47,824
I can determine whether
she's in the house or not.

1446
01:03:48,868 --> 01:03:51,044
I'm not here to bother you,
I'm here to help.

1447
01:03:51,218 --> 01:03:52,959
But time is a factor.

1448
01:03:54,961 --> 01:03:57,137
Mr. Hayes, did you have
some sort of accident today?

1449
01:03:57,746 --> 01:03:58,791
-What?
-Your shirt,

1450
01:03:58,965 --> 01:04:00,227
it has something on it.

1451
01:04:00,749 --> 01:04:03,927
-Did you cut yourself?
-Oh, no, that's, uh...

1452
01:04:04,884 --> 01:04:07,626
barbecue sauce
from smoking ribs out back.

1453
01:04:08,670 --> 01:04:09,976
Really?

1454
01:04:10,150 --> 01:04:12,849
-Hangover cure?
-Yeah, it's a, uh,

1455
01:04:13,632 --> 01:04:14,807
consuming endeavor.

1456
01:04:14,981 --> 01:04:16,374
-Hmm, I bet.
-Mm-hmm.

1457
01:04:17,288 --> 01:04:18,637
You know I do love ribs...

1458
01:04:19,507 --> 01:04:21,379
but they are some messy
suckers, ain't they?

1459
01:04:22,119 --> 01:04:23,424
You know... [sniffing]

1460
01:04:23,598 --> 01:04:24,817
... I think
I can smell 'em.

1461
01:04:26,950 --> 01:04:28,255
Mm. [smacking lips]

1462
01:04:28,429 --> 01:04:29,648
Tastes okay to me.

1463
01:04:30,997 --> 01:04:31,998
Sweet.

1464
01:04:33,347 --> 01:04:36,829
So, Mr. Hayes,
are you gonna let me in?

1465
01:04:38,657 --> 01:04:40,006
What'd you say your name was?

1466
01:04:40,877 --> 01:04:42,052
Clyde.

1467
01:04:42,661 --> 01:04:46,186
Yeah, I'm, uh-- Mr. Clyde,
I'm really busy,

1468
01:04:46,360 --> 01:04:48,101
but, you know, if you wanna
leave your name and number,

1469
01:04:48,275 --> 01:04:49,711
-I'll be sure--
-Unfortunately,

1470
01:04:49,886 --> 01:04:51,626
the situation at hand
has the potential

1471
01:04:51,800 --> 01:04:53,193
to be fairly severe.

1472
01:04:53,367 --> 01:04:55,152
So I'm gonna have to
adjust accordingly

1473
01:04:55,326 --> 01:04:57,110
as to the next thing I do.

1474
01:04:57,284 --> 01:04:59,721
Mr. Hayes, I have to
get into the house,

1475
01:04:59,896 --> 01:05:01,506
but I wanna be
100% clear,

1476
01:05:01,680 --> 01:05:02,986
I mean you no harm.

1477
01:05:03,160 --> 01:05:04,770
But if you stand in my way,

1478
01:05:04,944 --> 01:05:07,642
I will have to overpower you
for the greater good.

1479
01:05:07,816 --> 01:05:09,427
-You're gonna attack me?
-I've done it.

1480
01:05:09,601 --> 01:05:11,603
If you would prefer
to restrain yourself

1481
01:05:11,777 --> 01:05:12,996
while I look around the house,

1482
01:05:13,170 --> 01:05:14,562
I am more than happy
with that route.

1483
01:05:14,736 --> 01:05:16,608
But now, as I say,
we are short on time,

1484
01:05:16,782 --> 01:05:18,958
so I'm only gonna be able to go
with the standard three count.

1485
01:05:19,132 --> 01:05:20,481
-One...
-What-- just give me--

1486
01:05:20,655 --> 01:05:22,701
You got two more.
Two. Two and a half.

1487
01:05:23,267 --> 01:05:25,834
-[electronic music]
-[moaning softly]

1488
01:05:30,230 --> 01:05:33,277
[moaning softly]

1489
01:05:35,932 --> 01:05:37,368
Are your eyes closed?

1490
01:05:37,977 --> 01:05:39,631
Are they not supposed to be?

1491
01:05:40,632 --> 01:05:41,981
Well, typically,
when your eyes are closed,

1492
01:05:42,155 --> 01:05:43,591
you're thinking
about somebody else.

1493
01:05:44,201 --> 01:05:45,680
So I'm supposed
to look at you the whole time?

1494
01:05:45,854 --> 01:05:47,160
'Cause, I mean,
I can't really see your face,

1495
01:05:47,334 --> 01:05:48,988
so I can't be
100% sure it's you.

1496
01:05:49,162 --> 01:05:50,903
I'm not saying you need
to stare at me the whole time,

1497
01:05:51,077 --> 01:05:52,470
I'm just talking about
being in the moment.

1498
01:05:52,644 --> 01:05:55,516
All right, well,
I'll just stare at the ceiling

1499
01:05:55,690 --> 01:05:57,127
with my eyes wide open.

1500
01:05:57,301 --> 01:05:58,824
Like a maniac.

1501
01:06:03,394 --> 01:06:04,525
[clears throat]

1502
01:06:05,048 --> 01:06:06,310
-[Corpse] What the fuck?
-Bro.

1503
01:06:06,484 --> 01:06:07,964
[Corpse] What the fuck,
get out of here!

1504
01:06:08,138 --> 01:06:09,878
-You guys want me to leave?
-[Corpse] God.

1505
01:06:14,318 --> 01:06:16,711
Why does she have more
than one pair of shoes here?

1506
01:06:16,885 --> 01:06:18,800
-What is she, living here now?
-Get out.

1507
01:06:18,975 --> 01:06:20,759
Don't you come at me
with an erection, number one.

1508
01:06:20,933 --> 01:06:22,108
You know,
this is your fault.

1509
01:06:22,282 --> 01:06:23,805
You guys
were supposed to pick me up.

1510
01:06:23,980 --> 01:06:25,807
Took me an hour to walk
here from the beer store.

1511
01:06:25,982 --> 01:06:27,766
[scoffs] Took you
an hour to walk a mile?

1512
01:06:27,940 --> 01:06:29,463
That's certainly
not the point.

1513
01:06:29,637 --> 01:06:31,074
Take a look at the sun, guys,
it's almost dusk.

1514
01:06:31,248 --> 01:06:32,466
You guys are
fucking killing me.

1515
01:06:32,640 --> 01:06:35,469
All right, listen,
I'm not going.

1516
01:06:36,775 --> 01:06:38,907
Well, that's stupid.

1517
01:06:39,082 --> 01:06:40,561
She scored tickets,
we're driving to Philly.

1518
01:06:40,735 --> 01:06:42,041
Tickets to what?
The gay show?

1519
01:06:42,215 --> 01:06:43,434
All right, you know what,
I told you

1520
01:06:43,608 --> 01:06:45,001
we should've
done this in the car.

1521
01:06:45,175 --> 01:06:46,350
You're the one that
wanted to come home

1522
01:06:46,524 --> 01:06:48,265
-and change your shirt.
-Are you crazy?

1523
01:06:48,352 --> 01:06:49,875
A Frighteners,
Dead Alivedouble feature,

1524
01:06:50,049 --> 01:06:52,356
that comes along once,
maybe twice in a lifetime.

1525
01:06:52,530 --> 01:06:54,314
[Corpse] Your next blowjob
is so far away

1526
01:06:54,488 --> 01:06:55,924
from this moment right now.

1527
01:06:56,099 --> 01:06:57,665
Well, you know what,
the good news is

1528
01:06:57,839 --> 01:06:59,363
I don't need you fucking fools.
Just your car keys.

1529
01:06:59,537 --> 01:07:00,929
[Hayes] I don't have my car,
we're taking hers.

1530
01:07:01,104 --> 01:07:02,496
-Is that my shirt?
-[banging]

1531
01:07:02,670 --> 01:07:04,150
[Addison] That's just great.

1532
01:07:04,324 --> 01:07:06,109
You know what?
You don't need a fucking car.

1533
01:07:06,283 --> 01:07:07,545
Well, it's a drive-in,

1534
01:07:07,719 --> 01:07:09,155
so it's fairly
fucking important--

1535
01:07:09,329 --> 01:07:10,591
-Yeah, you know what?
-What are you doing?

1536
01:07:10,765 --> 01:07:12,985
Well,
I want you to leave, so...

1537
01:07:13,942 --> 01:07:17,555
I was just sucking his dick
and I kissed you, so...

1538
01:07:19,209 --> 01:07:20,732
I don't care
for what you did just there.

1539
01:07:25,606 --> 01:07:26,868
Can I borrow your radio?

1540
01:07:27,043 --> 01:07:28,392
[thud on door]

1541
01:07:28,566 --> 01:07:29,828
That sounded like
another girl's shoe.

1542
01:07:31,873 --> 01:07:33,745
[doorbell ringing]

1543
01:07:43,885 --> 01:07:45,322
[Clyde] Oh, uh, Mr. Hayes?

1544
01:07:45,496 --> 01:07:46,410
[Addison] No, he's upstairs
getting blown.

1545
01:07:46,584 --> 01:07:47,889
Can I help you guys?

1546
01:07:48,064 --> 01:07:49,500
What are you,
a couple of-- ah, shit.

1547
01:07:49,674 --> 01:07:51,371
My name is Clyde
and this is Ethan.

1548
01:07:51,545 --> 01:07:52,894
Super, guys, look,
I'd love to chat,

1549
01:07:53,069 --> 01:07:54,244
but I'm on my way
to the movies.

1550
01:07:54,418 --> 01:07:55,419
-Movies?
-Yeah. Forget about it.

1551
01:07:55,593 --> 01:07:57,073
It's a recent development.

1552
01:07:57,247 --> 01:07:58,726
But please come inside
and, uh, I sure as hell

1553
01:07:58,900 --> 01:08:00,076
hope you have some
literature to leave for me.

1554
01:08:00,859 --> 01:08:02,165
[doorbell rings]

1555
01:08:02,339 --> 01:08:03,601
Two and a half!

1556
01:08:08,040 --> 01:08:09,172
Does anyone
ever take the option

1557
01:08:09,346 --> 01:08:10,651
to restrain themselves?

1558
01:08:10,825 --> 01:08:12,088
[Clyde] You'd be surprised.

1559
01:08:12,827 --> 01:08:15,526
Most people would do
a lot to avoid confrontation.

1560
01:08:16,266 --> 01:08:17,745
Can-- can I get you something?

1561
01:08:19,051 --> 01:08:20,357
You know what I would love?

1562
01:08:21,053 --> 01:08:22,620
I would love
a glass of water.

1563
01:08:34,153 --> 01:08:36,199
You must not get too many
trick or treaters around here,

1564
01:08:36,373 --> 01:08:37,983
being so isolated at all.

1565
01:08:38,984 --> 01:08:40,116
[Hayes] Uh, not really.

1566
01:08:40,768 --> 01:08:41,900
Help yourself.

1567
01:08:45,512 --> 01:08:47,906
Are you the owner
of the drive-in as well?

1568
01:08:48,646 --> 01:08:50,126
[Hayes] Uh, nope.

1569
01:08:51,736 --> 01:08:53,912
Job just kinda came
with the place.

1570
01:08:54,565 --> 01:08:56,828
-Right place, right time?
-Yeah.

1571
01:08:57,002 --> 01:08:59,831
[tense music]

1572
01:09:06,533 --> 01:09:07,926
[exhaling loudly]

1573
01:09:09,449 --> 01:09:10,494
So...

1574
01:09:12,452 --> 01:09:13,540
this girl.

1575
01:09:14,106 --> 01:09:16,152
Uh, yeah,
do you have a picture or...

1576
01:09:16,848 --> 01:09:18,937
[laughs]

1577
01:09:19,633 --> 01:09:20,895
No.

1578
01:09:21,722 --> 01:09:23,507
[Hayes] Is she
in some sort of trouble?

1579
01:09:23,681 --> 01:09:26,118
[Clyde] I think
she's very dead, Mr. Hayes.

1580
01:09:27,293 --> 01:09:28,773
Does this house
have a basement?

1581
01:09:29,295 --> 01:09:30,688
-[loud grinding]
-What was that?

1582
01:09:30,862 --> 01:09:32,255
Uh, I-- I didn't hear anything.

1583
01:09:32,429 --> 01:09:34,170
Mr. Hayes, where's the body?

1584
01:09:34,344 --> 01:09:36,084
The sooner you take me to it,
the sooner I can kill her.

1585
01:09:36,259 --> 01:09:37,521
[Addison screams]

1586
01:09:37,695 --> 01:09:39,044
[Hayes] Whoa, okay,
that I heard.

1587
01:09:39,218 --> 01:09:40,611
Sun's going down,
but we still have time.

1588
01:09:40,785 --> 01:09:42,134
They're not very active
when they first rise.

1589
01:09:42,308 --> 01:09:43,744
-[growling]
-[glass shattering]

1590
01:09:43,918 --> 01:09:46,138
-[Clyde grunting]
-[squelching sounds]

1591
01:09:51,143 --> 01:09:54,320
[eerie music]

1592
01:10:07,028 --> 01:10:08,987
[distorted voice] Sorry
we didn't get a proper breakup.

1593
01:10:09,161 --> 01:10:11,468
[Hayes panting]

1594
01:10:12,338 --> 01:10:13,905
I'm sure it would have been
underwhelming.

1595
01:10:14,862 --> 01:10:16,168
Taking your jacket.

1596
01:10:23,044 --> 01:10:24,742
She got away from me.

1597
01:10:29,225 --> 01:10:32,271
[distorted groaning]

1598
01:10:34,317 --> 01:10:35,492
[thudding]

1599
01:10:37,189 --> 01:10:38,669
[water running]

1600
01:10:38,843 --> 01:10:42,586
[clock ticking]

1601
01:10:42,760 --> 01:10:45,241
[moaning]

1602
01:10:53,074 --> 01:10:54,162
[Addison banging on tub]

1603
01:10:54,685 --> 01:10:55,860
Hey.

1604
01:10:57,601 --> 01:10:58,645
Hello?

1605
01:11:00,995 --> 01:11:02,127
Hey.

1606
01:11:03,650 --> 01:11:04,695
Hey.

1607
01:11:05,348 --> 01:11:08,655
[laughs]

1608
01:11:08,829 --> 01:11:10,178
Is that fucking funny?

1609
01:11:11,179 --> 01:11:12,920
You know, I don't think

1610
01:11:13,094 --> 01:11:14,966
I've ever seen you
breathe that hard.

1611
01:11:15,836 --> 01:11:17,925
Besides that one time
I watched you change a tire.

1612
01:11:20,014 --> 01:11:22,016
-You got a light?
-[water splashing]

1613
01:11:23,279 --> 01:11:24,889
[sighs] Thanks.

1614
01:11:25,498 --> 01:11:28,371
Pretty amazing one's mindset
before and after they come.

1615
01:11:29,850 --> 01:11:32,549
[Addison coughing]

1616
01:11:34,246 --> 01:11:36,335
Sad what men go through
for the elusive...

1617
01:11:36,944 --> 01:11:38,598
[imitating moaning]

1618
01:11:38,772 --> 01:11:40,208
[Addison breathing heavily]

1619
01:11:43,777 --> 01:11:45,431
I knew it was over
when I caught him up there

1620
01:11:45,605 --> 01:11:46,911
with the fucking vampire.

1621
01:11:48,216 --> 01:11:50,262
Great. Well, I mean,
that means I win a bet.

1622
01:11:50,436 --> 01:11:53,091
And let me be
the first to say,

1623
01:11:53,265 --> 01:11:55,311
I will be sad
to see you go.

1624
01:11:56,268 --> 01:11:57,530
Are you ever serious?

1625
01:11:57,704 --> 01:11:59,010
I don't know,
are you ever funny?

1626
01:12:00,838 --> 01:12:03,362
You know,
I got a joke for you.

1627
01:12:04,189 --> 01:12:05,408
Tell me
if you've heard this one.

1628
01:12:07,235 --> 01:12:09,107
Rape.
[giggles]

1629
01:12:11,152 --> 01:12:12,719
Rape. Get it?

1630
01:12:13,546 --> 01:12:15,156
-Hilarious.
-You get it, because--

1631
01:12:15,331 --> 01:12:16,462
Rape.

1632
01:12:19,552 --> 01:12:20,771
-Rape!
-Stop.

1633
01:12:20,945 --> 01:12:22,686
-Rape!
-Knock it off!

1634
01:12:22,860 --> 01:12:24,427
Somebody help! Rape!

1635
01:12:24,601 --> 01:12:27,952
You know, I've faked
a lot of orgasms in my life,

1636
01:12:28,126 --> 01:12:29,910
-but never nothing like this.
-[Addison] Enough!

1637
01:12:30,084 --> 01:12:31,085
-[loud banging]
-Rape!

1638
01:12:31,259 --> 01:12:32,565
-Knock it off.
-Rape!

1639
01:12:32,739 --> 01:12:34,045
-Stop.
-Rape!

1640
01:12:34,219 --> 01:12:35,960
-[loud banging]
-Help me, somebody!

1641
01:12:36,134 --> 01:12:38,266
-[angelic music over radio]
-Help me, somebody!

1642
01:12:38,441 --> 01:12:40,225
[water splashing]

1643
01:12:40,399 --> 01:12:45,578
♪

1644
01:12:46,753 --> 01:12:49,626
[water splashing]

1645
01:12:54,892 --> 01:13:00,811
♪

1646
01:13:03,117 --> 01:13:08,732
[clock ticking]

1647
01:13:08,819 --> 01:13:10,603
[radio DJ] And I dunno
about you guys,

1648
01:13:10,690 --> 01:13:12,997
but I'm having trouble
keeping my eyes open.

1649
01:13:13,084 --> 01:13:16,217
Uh, don't let your sweet
dreams become nightmares

1650
01:13:16,304 --> 01:13:18,089
because tonight is the night.

1651
01:13:18,176 --> 01:13:20,570
There are monsters
tonight, folks.

1652
01:13:20,657 --> 01:13:23,007
And they
don't all wear masks.

1653
01:13:23,181 --> 01:13:24,965
[laughing maniacally]

1654
01:13:25,052 --> 01:13:29,622
[Vampire singing]
♪ Daddy's gone a-hunting ♪

1655
01:13:29,709 --> 01:13:34,671
♪ Off to fetch
a rabbit skin ♪

1656
01:13:34,758 --> 01:13:41,547
♪ To wrap his
baby bunting in ♪

1657
01:13:44,811 --> 01:13:45,856
[Corpse whimpering]

1658
01:13:46,857 --> 01:13:47,945
Hi, there.

1659
01:13:50,295 --> 01:13:52,993
I'm sorry to report that
last night you were a victim...

1660
01:13:53,080 --> 01:13:54,517
-[door knocking]
-[Addison] Occupied.

1661
01:13:54,691 --> 01:13:56,040
[Corpse]
How long has he been in here?

1662
01:13:56,214 --> 01:13:58,825
[Vampire] ...of the date
rape drug, Rohypnol.

1663
01:13:59,870 --> 01:14:01,349
Jesus Christ.

1664
01:14:08,531 --> 01:14:09,706
-[men scream]
-[coughing & choking]

1665
01:14:16,016 --> 01:14:17,844
[indistinct mumbling]

1666
01:14:18,018 --> 01:14:19,498
What?

1667
01:14:19,672 --> 01:14:20,586
[mumbling] Lock all the doors
and windows!

1668
01:14:21,544 --> 01:14:23,067
Did you fix that latch
on the side door?

1669
01:14:23,241 --> 01:14:24,721
I think you
know the answer to that.

1670
01:14:24,895 --> 01:14:26,505
Do you have any weapons
anywhere?

1671
01:14:27,550 --> 01:14:29,465
I think my grandfather
kept an ax in the shed.

1672
01:14:31,728 --> 01:14:32,859
[door thudding]

1673
01:14:33,033 --> 01:14:35,993
[suspenseful music]

1674
01:14:43,217 --> 01:14:44,871
[choking]
There's another one out there.

1675
01:14:45,959 --> 01:14:47,352
Another what?

1676
01:14:47,961 --> 01:14:49,659
[Vampire] How much do you
know about vampires?

1677
01:14:51,138 --> 01:14:52,226
Doesn't matter.

1678
01:14:52,792 --> 01:14:55,273
Last night,
you were also the victim

1679
01:14:55,447 --> 01:14:56,927
of a vampire bite.

1680
01:14:58,624 --> 01:15:00,278
I wasn't allowed
to finish what I started

1681
01:15:00,452 --> 01:15:03,150
because the roofie
left your blood tainted,

1682
01:15:03,324 --> 01:15:05,675
which I'm highly
susceptible to.

1683
01:15:06,763 --> 01:15:08,112
When the time comes...

1684
01:15:08,939 --> 01:15:10,114
one of you...

1685
01:15:10,854 --> 01:15:12,508
is gonna have to stake me.

1686
01:15:16,773 --> 01:15:18,035
To be safe.

1687
01:15:26,130 --> 01:15:27,653
Tip to the heart. One--

1688
01:15:27,827 --> 01:15:29,568
I get it.
All right, you heard the man.

1689
01:15:29,742 --> 01:15:31,527
Why don't you go to the shed
and see if there's any weapons

1690
01:15:31,701 --> 01:15:32,876
-we can find?
-Oh, yeah?

1691
01:15:33,050 --> 01:15:34,225
We're gonna listen
to what this guy

1692
01:15:34,399 --> 01:15:35,705
has to say about vampires?

1693
01:15:35,879 --> 01:15:36,967
You mean the man
imparting his dying words

1694
01:15:37,141 --> 01:15:38,838
through a wound
in his throat?

1695
01:15:39,012 --> 01:15:40,623
-Yeah, I'll hear him out.
-We don't know that he's dying!

1696
01:15:40,797 --> 01:15:43,277
-I'm most certainly dying.
-Shut the fuck up, Clyde!

1697
01:15:43,451 --> 01:15:45,541
Your physical body is dead.

1698
01:15:46,498 --> 01:15:48,413
Your transition
and the fact that somebody

1699
01:15:48,587 --> 01:15:50,676
partially mutilated your body

1700
01:15:50,850 --> 01:15:53,374
is gonna leave you
in a very weakened state.

1701
01:15:54,245 --> 01:15:55,725
[whimpering]

1702
01:15:55,899 --> 01:15:59,380
Probably take two weeks
of feeding and care

1703
01:15:59,555 --> 01:16:01,078
to get you back
to stable strength.

1704
01:16:04,647 --> 01:16:07,650
Fortunately, I'd say sunrise
is gonna take care of you

1705
01:16:07,824 --> 01:16:09,608
in roughly 12 hours.

1706
01:16:09,782 --> 01:16:12,393
[clock ticking]

1707
01:16:15,919 --> 01:16:18,051
If, and this is
a big fucking if,

1708
01:16:18,225 --> 01:16:19,575
there is something out there,

1709
01:16:19,749 --> 01:16:21,098
I'm not gonna be
the one going to the shed.

1710
01:16:21,272 --> 01:16:22,578
I'll be as dead as this guy.

1711
01:16:22,752 --> 01:16:23,970
She's not an "if."

1712
01:16:24,797 --> 01:16:26,886
-She's a vampire.
-Yeah, we heard you.

1713
01:16:27,060 --> 01:16:29,933
I've hunted and tracked
vampires for over 20 years.

1714
01:16:30,629 --> 01:16:32,065
I tracked her here.

1715
01:16:32,239 --> 01:16:34,154
Oh, you know, you seem
really good at your job.

1716
01:16:34,328 --> 01:16:37,288
A girl!
Tall, pale, brunette.

1717
01:16:37,941 --> 01:16:39,377
Probably dressed as a vampire.

1718
01:16:40,247 --> 01:16:42,554
Did either of you ever
encounter a woman like this?

1719
01:16:45,775 --> 01:16:47,254
Right,
I'll go to the shed.

1720
01:16:51,563 --> 01:16:52,695
So...

1721
01:16:55,306 --> 01:16:57,308
what do you think
this vampire wants?

1722
01:16:57,874 --> 01:16:59,789
-[Corpse crying]
-I never wanted this.

1723
01:17:00,616 --> 01:17:02,966
Okay?
This was just about the house.

1724
01:17:04,707 --> 01:17:07,100
Winter is coming, and this
is fucking Pennsylvania.

1725
01:17:09,537 --> 01:17:11,627
I wish I could do you quick
and painlessly myself,

1726
01:17:11,801 --> 01:17:13,846
but that's double-dipping,

1727
01:17:14,020 --> 01:17:15,369
and them are the rules.

1728
01:17:16,893 --> 01:17:19,330
-[Corpse crying]
-Oh, I can do this.

1729
01:17:20,766 --> 01:17:21,811
Hold on.

1730
01:17:30,689 --> 01:17:33,170
So which, of any of this shit,
is a weapon?

1731
01:17:34,214 --> 01:17:35,955
Is that--
Is this fucking rice in here?

1732
01:17:37,740 --> 01:17:39,480
She's already been invited in.

1733
01:17:40,307 --> 01:17:42,222
There's little you could do
to combat her attack.

1734
01:17:43,136 --> 01:17:46,357
At this hour,
you won't survive.

1735
01:17:47,706 --> 01:17:50,187
Well, it's a matter
of opinion, Clyde,

1736
01:17:50,361 --> 01:17:51,797
and I don't give
a fuck about yours.

1737
01:17:52,929 --> 01:17:54,626
I won't go into it,
but the long and short is,

1738
01:17:54,800 --> 01:17:57,237
for many years, certain
sects of Jehovah's Witnesses

1739
01:17:57,411 --> 01:17:59,283
hunted and killed vampires.

1740
01:17:59,805 --> 01:18:02,329
In a plan based on cost
and efficiency,

1741
01:18:02,503 --> 01:18:03,853
a few years back,

1742
01:18:04,027 --> 01:18:05,245
they got into the
bottled water business.

1743
01:18:06,029 --> 01:18:07,465
Unrelated
to vampire hunters,

1744
01:18:07,639 --> 01:18:08,945
this was just something
for the other 90%

1745
01:18:09,119 --> 01:18:10,773
of door-knocking dummies
who got thirsty.

1746
01:18:11,643 --> 01:18:12,862
Nonetheless,

1747
01:18:13,036 --> 01:18:15,255
the end result was
a mass-produced

1748
01:18:15,429 --> 01:18:17,170
holy fucking water.

1749
01:18:18,650 --> 01:18:21,174
[soft suspenseful music]

1750
01:18:21,348 --> 01:18:24,656
-[banging]
-Not a great choice, I know.

1751
01:18:24,830 --> 01:18:27,398
Dying from the outside in.

1752
01:18:29,139 --> 01:18:30,575
Or the inside out.

1753
01:18:32,577 --> 01:18:34,710
But the holy water
will be quicker.

1754
01:18:36,581 --> 01:18:39,671
Both will be an intense burning
like nothing you've ever felt.

1755
01:18:41,238 --> 01:18:42,848
Both will last longer
than you'd like.

1756
01:18:43,631 --> 01:18:45,938
[Corpse sobbing]

1757
01:18:53,467 --> 01:18:54,860
[crying continues]

1758
01:18:59,691 --> 01:19:01,475
You were supposed to be
painless.

1759
01:19:03,564 --> 01:19:04,696
In fact, you...

1760
01:19:05,915 --> 01:19:07,438
were supposed to be pleasant.

1761
01:19:14,227 --> 01:19:17,143
[panting]

1762
01:19:22,409 --> 01:19:23,759
-[bones cracking]
-Now.

1763
01:19:25,630 --> 01:19:30,766
Well, you tell me,
Mr. Addison, Mr. Hayes,

1764
01:19:30,940 --> 01:19:34,030
how many more people
are gonna have to die

1765
01:19:34,204 --> 01:19:35,988
horribly painful deaths?!

1766
01:19:36,772 --> 01:19:37,990
Huh?

1767
01:19:41,864 --> 01:19:44,040
I couldn't find
that fucking ax anywhere,

1768
01:19:44,214 --> 01:19:46,651
but I did tie the side door
shut with some bungee cords.

1769
01:19:47,783 --> 01:19:49,001
Oh, shit.

1770
01:19:50,046 --> 01:19:52,309
-He's dead?
-He's dead.

1771
01:19:53,049 --> 01:19:54,746
Oh, my God,
did you stake him?

1772
01:19:54,920 --> 01:19:56,269
[Addison]
That's what the man said to do.

1773
01:19:57,793 --> 01:19:59,272
On the good news front,

1774
01:19:59,446 --> 01:20:00,839
it actually turned out
to be helpful for once

1775
01:20:01,013 --> 01:20:02,058
that we covered
the floor in plastic.

1776
01:20:02,972 --> 01:20:04,712
I wasn't even
gone that long.

1777
01:20:06,105 --> 01:20:07,715
He died in that time?

1778
01:20:07,890 --> 01:20:10,109
Yeah, he was bleeding fairly
heavily from the neck.

1779
01:20:16,986 --> 01:20:18,770
So he died,
and then you staked him?

1780
01:20:19,684 --> 01:20:21,904
Or he died
because you staked him?

1781
01:20:22,078 --> 01:20:23,514
What difference does it make?

1782
01:20:23,688 --> 01:20:26,343
[upbeat pop music]

1783
01:20:30,651 --> 01:20:33,741
♪ I've fallen
for your stories ♪

1784
01:20:33,829 --> 01:20:35,700
♪ Oh so many times ♪

1785
01:20:38,355 --> 01:20:40,966
♪ And now
it's getting boring ♪

1786
01:20:41,053 --> 01:20:43,099
♪ Your excuses and your lies ♪

1787
01:20:43,273 --> 01:20:45,405
♪

1788
01:20:45,579 --> 01:20:46,798
Did you order a pizza?

1789
01:20:48,060 --> 01:20:50,497
Drop the pizza on the porch,
I got her.

1790
01:20:50,671 --> 01:20:54,197
♪

1791
01:20:54,371 --> 01:20:55,894
-Now what?
-Run.

1792
01:20:58,331 --> 01:21:00,203
♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪

1793
01:21:01,944 --> 01:21:03,815
[distant screaming]

1794
01:21:05,382 --> 01:21:08,080
Still out there,
still very much a vampire.

1795
01:21:08,167 --> 01:21:09,995
♪ I'm out, I'm out ♪

1796
01:21:11,736 --> 01:21:13,869
♪ I'm out the door,
out the door ♪

1797
01:21:15,261 --> 01:21:18,134
♪ I don't need, I don't need ♪

1798
01:21:18,221 --> 01:21:20,963
♪ You hanging
'round me anymore ♪

1799
01:21:21,920 --> 01:21:24,314
[Corpse moaning]

1800
01:21:26,359 --> 01:21:28,535
♪ Without you by my side ♪

1801
01:21:28,709 --> 01:21:30,842
[Hayes] Uh, yeah,
you have a picture or...

1802
01:21:31,974 --> 01:21:33,062
[Clyde] No.

1803
01:21:34,019 --> 01:21:35,803
[Hayes] Is she in some
sort of trouble?

1804
01:21:35,978 --> 01:21:38,371
[Clyde] I think
she's very dead, Mr. Hayes.

1805
01:21:38,458 --> 01:21:40,286
Does this house
have a basement?

1806
01:21:42,114 --> 01:21:43,637
What was that?

1807
01:21:43,724 --> 01:21:45,291
[Hayes] I-- I-- I didn't
hear anything.

1808
01:21:45,378 --> 01:21:46,075
[Clyde] Mr. Hayes,
where's the body?

1809
01:21:46,771 --> 01:21:48,294
[grinding noise]

1810
01:21:50,253 --> 01:21:53,082
The sooner you take me to her,
the sooner I can kill her.

1811
01:21:53,604 --> 01:21:55,258
[Addison screaming]

1812
01:21:55,432 --> 01:21:57,651
♪

1813
01:21:57,738 --> 01:21:59,392
♪ Ay-ay-ay ♪

1814
01:21:59,479 --> 01:22:00,524
♪ I'm at the door ♪

1815
01:22:03,092 --> 01:22:05,529
♪ Ay-ay-ay ♪
♪ Ay-ay-ay ♪

1816
01:22:09,011 --> 01:22:10,664
♪ I'm better off on my own ♪

1817
01:22:10,751 --> 01:22:12,579
♪ I don't need
to relive in a bit ♪

1818
01:22:12,666 --> 01:22:14,451
♪ So why don't you check
if I asked ♪

1819
01:22:14,538 --> 01:22:15,974
♪ 'Cause I'm waiting
for [indistinct] ♪

1820
01:22:16,061 --> 01:22:19,282
♪ I'm out, I'm out ♪

1821
01:22:19,369 --> 01:22:21,458
♪ I'm out the door,
I'm out the door ♪

1822
01:22:23,025 --> 01:22:25,941
♪ I don't need,
I don't need ♪

1823
01:22:26,028 --> 01:22:28,204
♪ You hanging
'round me anymore ♪

1824
01:22:30,771 --> 01:22:32,730
♪ It feels good,
it feels good ♪

1825
01:22:34,123 --> 01:22:37,343
♪ Without you by my side ♪

1826
01:22:38,344 --> 01:22:40,694
♪ So long ♪

1827
01:22:40,781 --> 01:22:43,262
♪ And thank you for the ride ♪

1828
01:22:43,436 --> 01:22:49,051
♪

1829
01:22:54,621 --> 01:22:57,929
[channels
changing on radio]

1830
01:23:00,888 --> 01:23:03,848
["Sleep With the Lights On"
by Stephen Collins]

1831
01:23:20,256 --> 01:23:23,650
♪ I only see you
in a nightmare ♪

1832
01:23:30,570 --> 01:23:34,574
♪