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{\an8}
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As far as
I can remember,
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00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:50,080
I've always had dreams
of houses and doorways
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00:00:50,160 --> 00:00:52,960
and hallways
and hiding places.
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00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:55,040
{\an8}
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00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:00,920
As a kid, we tend to
push things down.
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00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:03,280
But when you turn to adult,
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00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:06,600
I think that's when all the
feelings start coming back.
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For a long time,
I didn't know who I was.
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I knew I had
fragmented memories
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of a little white sister.
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00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:23,920
But I couldn't
put the pieces together.
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{\an8}
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{\an8}I had to get answers.
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00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:32,200
I had to find out who I was.
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00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:41,040
I've never shared this story before.
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And I don't think anyone's
heard it like this before.
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00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:50,000
I've had to go back
so I can move forward.
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00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:14,480
Uh...
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00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:17,520
We're here one reason
and one reason only,
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00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:19,280
as far as I can make out,
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00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:21,160
and that's Brenda.
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00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:23,960
And I can only fill in
bits and pieces,
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00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,600
but I hope it all works out.
27
00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:34,160
Why are you nervous?
28
00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:35,680
I don't know. Just sort of...
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00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:37,920
All this gear around and...
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00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,440
Now I'm here.
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00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:43,720
Well, I met Connie
in the sole milk bar,
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00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:45,720
which was run by her dad.
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I got sight of her
and I thought,
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00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:50,760
"Jeez, this is a nice-looking
girl working in there."
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00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:52,320
He came back for lunch.
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00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,560
Sort of met and, um...
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00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:57,080
Yeah, sort of, things went on
from there.
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00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:59,280
And I ended up with
a hamburger and a bride
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00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:00,960
in the end,
so that was alright.
40
00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:07,440
We were in a house,
which we sold,
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00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:10,240
and then we rented a place
and we built our own home.
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00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:13,160
I cut the frame out
myself, bricked it up.
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00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:17,320
And it come together
very nicely.
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00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:19,240
We had our first daughter, Rebecca,
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00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:22,480
and then we thought,
"Well, let's keep going."
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We were always thinking
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of having a bigger family.
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We'd talked about adoption
a bit.
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There were kids out there
that needed... needed a home
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00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:34,800
and that weren't as fortunate
as we were.
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We thought, "Well, why don't
we go and pick up the papers
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00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:39,440
"and see what we have to do
to fill them in?"
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It just got put on the shelf,
I suppose, for a while.
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I fell pregnant in
between that and I had a boy.
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And then we got
the surprise call.
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The department rang,
wanting to know
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if I was still interested
in having a child.
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00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:03,520
They said,
"We have someone here,
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00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:06,080
"but it's a little
Aboriginal girl."
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00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:08,680
And I thought,
"Well, that's interesting."
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00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:10,720
When my baby
was only nine weeks
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00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:13,120
and my little girl was
only two and a half,
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00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:16,279
I said, "Oh, well, it'll be
hard but it'll be worth it.
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00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:17,959
"We've been waiting
long enough."
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00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:19,839
We had good room
in the house.
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00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:22,160
We were paying our bills
and eating well.
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00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:24,360
So we landed up
ringing them back
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00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:26,920
and saying,
"Yes, we'll take her."
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00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:39,240
We got to delivery date
at the railway station.
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00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,760
We stood there for a while
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waiting for this train
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00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:45,720
and we kept looking
at each other, sort of thing,
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00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:49,440
and gee, excited,
apprehensive, I suppose.
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00:04:55,840 --> 00:05:00,920
Then there was a lady
with a little Aboriginal girl.
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00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,760
She said,
"Mr and Mrs Ockers?"
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00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:07,200
I said, "Yes."
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00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:08,920
She said, "This is Brenda."
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00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:13,200
Yeah, I can live that moment forever
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00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:16,840
even if I get to be
200 years old, I think.
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00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:18,320
It was a very quick exchange.
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00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:21,280
Was just really...
and not much said at all.
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Then she walked off
and that was it.
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00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:27,520
Brenda
didn't say a word.
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00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:29,560
Was a big step for her too,
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a little girl to come to
a family she doesn't know.
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00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:35,280
All aboard!
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00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:38,040
One day just
melded into the next.
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00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:42,120
She just went along with
Gene and Becca at those times.
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00:05:43,280 --> 00:05:46,840
Life began
as a family of three children.
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00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:50,560
And that was the good bit.
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00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:52,680
It was good.
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00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:04,880
This way a bit.
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00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:06,840
Yeah, but you...
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00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:08,920
- Darling...
- I had it perfect.
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00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,040
I know you're perfect.
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00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:13,920
No, I'm not perfect.
I said I had it perfect.
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00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:30,640
When I first met Mark,
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00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:33,040
he was taking children
on cultural camps.
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00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:36,800
I've had the honour of
paddling and walking
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00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:38,400
with the Bundjalung people.
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00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:41,720
I collaborated with them
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to get other people
to experience
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what I have experienced.
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00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:56,600
It was a bit scary
at first.
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00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:58,360
He looked like
a drill sergeant,
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especially when he spoke.
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00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:02,800
Once you've thrown your gear
in the rescue boat,
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00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:05,160
come and grab a PFD
out of the two red bags.
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00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:06,800
The pocket goes to the front.
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00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:09,000
Once you've done that,
go to the back of the trailer
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00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:10,840
and grab your paddle, please.
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00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:12,320
I started
warming up to him
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00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:14,920
when I went on the camps
with him.
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00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:19,680
It was a time for me
where I was learning myself.
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00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:21,240
But before we start,
just going to
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hand you over to Jarulah.
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He's gonna do
the welcome to country.
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00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:39,680
When I first met Brenda,
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yeah, it was
a bit of a mystery.
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She was shy, timid,
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couldn't really even
look you in the eye,
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00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:47,600
especially to a whitefella.
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00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:52,120
At the beginning,
Mark just wanted to know
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00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:53,880
more about me,
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00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:57,160
and I hadn't shared that
with anyone before.
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00:07:58,240 --> 00:07:59,680
That drew me to her
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00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:02,680
because I could see
Brenda was carrying a story.
128
00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:05,960
We just needed to find out
what that story was.
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00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:21,200
Rebecca and Brenda's
relationship was very close.
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00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:24,120
They held hands.
They played together.
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00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:27,320
You know, there was
no arguing about the clothes.
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00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:30,520
Connie dressed them
basically all the same.
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00:08:33,159 --> 00:08:35,159
We had a playpen thing
and they all got in.
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00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:36,679
And Brenda said,
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00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:40,600
"How come the baby
is not black, is not dark?"
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00:08:40,679 --> 00:08:44,280
I knew then that I had to
actually tell her
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00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:45,840
where she came from.
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She took it as it was.
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00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:49,560
She was quite happy.
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00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:52,120
She started school.
We enrolled her.
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00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:54,520
We put her in
as Brenda Ockers.
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We were gonna hope she's
gonna be an Ockers eventually.
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00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:01,000
That's the whole system
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00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:02,520
that we were going through -
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00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:05,680
to foster to start with,
to intention for adopt.
146
00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:09,000
The whole family
loved her, you know?
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00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:10,880
She was part of us.
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00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:21,840
Down the line
we put an application in
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00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:23,960
as an adoption.
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00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:29,120
Within a very short time,
we got a visit
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00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:33,600
from the welfare that was
looking after the case.
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00:09:33,680 --> 00:09:36,240
We were hoping
it was all gonna go through,
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00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:38,160
that's why he was there.
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00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:40,520
You know,
get some paperwork done.
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00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:43,120
We thought,
"This is a home run."
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00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:48,120
She just wanted to be loved
and secure,
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00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:50,520
and that's what she had
with us.
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00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:04,080
Everyone seated.
Stay nice and tight.
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00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:07,960
Come on down, Aunty Brenda.
Give her a big clap.
160
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:16,520
One day, Mark asked me
to share my story on camp.
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00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:21,200
I didn't know much
about my story,
162
00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:24,360
but I knew that I had
a little white sister.
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00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:28,320
I don't think I could
really remember any detail,
164
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:31,640
but I just remember her.
165
00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:33,280
I remember that...
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00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,600
...there was love there.
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00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:46,960
This guy
from the welfare,
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00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:49,120
he come in,
sat down on the lounge
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00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:53,000
and we said,
"Well, we're gonna adopt her."
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00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:54,920
He says, "Oh, no, no."
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00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,920
He says, "Things have changed,
mate. Things have changed.
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00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,320
"She's gotta go
up to Newcastle.
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00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:03,200
"That's where her family is."
174
00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:07,480
And that shocked us,
because we had no idea
175
00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:10,120
that we were going
to have to give her up.
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00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:13,480
He says, "We'll give you
some more instructions,
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00:11:13,560 --> 00:11:16,120
"and you'll have to take her
up there for a day visit."
178
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:17,800
I said, "Why,"
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00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:19,680
seeing we had her already
for so long,
180
00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:22,040
and what was...
how can they do that,
181
00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:25,040
and they said, "Oh, the father
is a reformed alcoholic."
182
00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:40,320
And Connie was talking
to Brenda a bit,
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00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:44,280
trying to set her
in the situation,
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00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:46,800
which would have been
very difficult.
185
00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:48,640
How can you say to a child,
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00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:51,080
you know, they haven't
been home for five, six years,
187
00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:53,240
and say, "Oh, this is
your mummy"?
188
00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:04,680
When we first
got there to take her there,
189
00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:06,280
it was quite nerve-racking.
190
00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:10,640
We both got out
and took Brenda...
191
00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:14,240
...and walked
up to the front door.
192
00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:21,040
We were given no intel at all,
193
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:23,000
even at that time.
194
00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:28,040
We weren't told about
all the other kids.
195
00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:34,240
And then Brenda's mum
was standing
196
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:35,760
at the end of the table
197
00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:39,920
with this cold stare at me.
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00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:43,040
It was... something
I'll never forget,
199
00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:46,920
how desperate she looked,
you know, and hurt.
200
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,480
You could see she was hurt
in her eyes.
201
00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:52,560
Her mother
wasn't very happy.
202
00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:54,120
I didn't have eye contact
with her.
203
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:57,080
You know,
I couldn't even talk to her.
204
00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:58,720
All I said is,
205
00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:02,720
"Brenda, we'll see you
later in the afternoon."
206
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:05,760
She knew the protocol, that
she had to go back that day.
207
00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:09,160
But that was... that was
quite remarkable...
208
00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:11,840
...when you face that.
209
00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,520
And you think,
"What have I done?
210
00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:18,440
"What have I done?"
211
00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:23,400
Oh, I gotta stop.
212
00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:27,320
Nah.
213
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:39,200
After my first time sharing,
214
00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:40,440
I felt good.
215
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:42,080
I felt a bit of relief.
216
00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:44,040
But every time I shared it,
217
00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:47,440
it was scary
and it was, again, hurtful,
218
00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:50,120
because it was triggering the
trauma that was inside of me.
219
00:13:53,560 --> 00:13:56,280
I started getting more
flashbacks, more memories.
220
00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:02,320
Mmm!
221
00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:06,480
Yay!
222
00:14:08,560 --> 00:14:11,480
But it was still
not knowing anything
223
00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:13,560
about my white family,
224
00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:15,640
who were missing in my life.
225
00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:29,800
When we went home,
she was very quiet.
226
00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:32,320
You can imagine how she felt,
227
00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:36,240
in a little tricky visit
for three or four hours,
228
00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:38,440
and then you gotta go.
229
00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:42,520
Once we saw what was there,
230
00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:45,080
we knew
that it just wasn't right.
231
00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:48,000
You know, what... what went on
wasn't right.
232
00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:51,080
We thought we were the heroes
233
00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:53,920
but we ended up
being the villains
234
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:55,440
in the piece, really,
235
00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:58,120
to deprive a mum of her child.
236
00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:06,920
So, it wasn't
long after the first visit
237
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:09,360
that we had to pack up
all her belongings
238
00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:11,000
and take her back.
239
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:15,920
We spent a bit more time
240
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,040
than we normally would
with her,
241
00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:19,600
that's for sure.
242
00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:23,200
Made it special, you know,
just with the little things.
243
00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:26,640
And, uh... tried
to prep her a bit
244
00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:28,600
for what was coming up.
245
00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:30,800
And I said to her,
"Don't you ever forget us,
246
00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:33,600
"and make sure when you get
older, you come and find us,"
247
00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:35,360
and she said,
"I will, I will."
248
00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:38,640
Had I known
that I'd never get her back,
249
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:41,080
no, I don't think I would have
taken her on,
250
00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:43,240
because even after she left,
251
00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:45,280
they asked us
if we wanted another child,
252
00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:48,080
and it was complete,
straightaway, "No way."
253
00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:49,840
I didn't want
to break my heart...
254
00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:52,440
...have anyone else
break my heart like that.
255
00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:55,560
Just packing away
the stuff was sad.
256
00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:58,200
Then you know it's all over.
257
00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:14,160
I couldn't go back
into the house then after that
258
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:15,680
when we dropped her off.
259
00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:18,120
I landed up staying in the car
with Rebecca,
260
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:19,920
'cause we took Rebecca
with us,
261
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,280
'cause we thought that'd be
nice for her, to say goodbye.
262
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:30,080
We had to walk in there - the
longest walk I've ever had.
263
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:50,040
You're sort of thinking,
"Jeez, you know,
264
00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:51,920
"this is it.
265
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:55,560
"This is the end
of that chapter of our lives."
266
00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:00,520
And that was
a pretty quiet drive home.
267
00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:08,040
We just had to
get on with our lives then,
268
00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:11,720
but hoping that, you know,
she was... she was happy.
269
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:13,839
But it was hard.
270
00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:18,920
It was hard.
271
00:17:27,359 --> 00:17:30,680
When I came back,
I didn't talk to anyone about
272
00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:32,840
my white family
and living with them,
273
00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:35,080
because my black family,
274
00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:37,560
they looked like
they knew each other
275
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:41,520
and they lived with each other
for a long time,
276
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:44,920
and I had no connection
to that.
277
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:48,880
And I felt like I was
intruding in on their family.
278
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:52,920
Growing up, Mum had told us
279
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:55,800
that we were all taken away
from her,
280
00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:58,320
that we were part of
the Stolen Generation,
281
00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:01,360
because we were
stolen children.
282
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:04,520
Were you
taken away from your parents?
283
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:08,000
Yes, I was taken away
from my mother as a baby.
284
00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:09,680
Did this just happen to you?
285
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:11,120
Who else did it happen to?
286
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:12,680
Oh, quite a number
of children.
287
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:15,520
Why were they taken away?
288
00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:18,000
I don't know
what the reason was.
289
00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:20,800
I suppose they thought they
could give us better homes
290
00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:22,240
away from our mothers.
291
00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:25,880
Between 1905 and 1969,
292
00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:27,720
Indigenous children were taken
from their families
293
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:30,480
to be assimilated
into white society.
294
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:32,560
We wasn't told
where our mother lived,
295
00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:34,680
who were they,
none whatsoever.
296
00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:36,280
They've become known as
297
00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:37,800
the Stolen Generation.
298
00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:40,520
It's estimated
100,000 Aboriginal children
299
00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:42,880
were removed before
the practice was abolished
300
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:44,880
in 1969.
301
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:47,160
{\an8}Compensation is certainly owing,
302
00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:50,080
{\an8}and I think what is owing
to white Australia too
303
00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:51,640
{\an8}is the true history
of this country.
304
00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:55,200
The true history of this
country has not been told.
305
00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:01,560
The first time I heard about
the compensation scheme
306
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,120
was when my husband
took some politicians
307
00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:06,120
on a paddle.
308
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:10,640
He met somebody...
named Jan Barham.
309
00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:12,240
She said to me,
310
00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:15,280
"I'm the lady behind
the compensation scheme
311
00:19:15,360 --> 00:19:17,840
"to help get Indigenous people
get compensation
312
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:21,520
"for being stolen
from their families."
313
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:23,000
And I said, "That's amazing."
314
00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:25,440
I said, "My wife's
Stolen Generation.
315
00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:27,960
"She was taken away in 1973."
316
00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:31,200
And her mouth sort of dropped
and she said, "1973?"
317
00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:32,720
I said, "Yeah, 1973."
318
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:34,160
"You sure she was stolen?"
319
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:35,480
I said, "Yeah."
320
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:38,120
Survivors
of the Stolen Generation
321
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:40,520
stand alongside
members of parliament
322
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:42,960
only decades after
government policies
323
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:45,320
changed their lives forever.
324
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:50,720
Jan invited us
down to Parliament in Sydney.
325
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:53,840
Every other Indigenous
person that was there
326
00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:56,520
was removed before 1969.
327
00:19:56,600 --> 00:20:00,960
Brenda was the only one
that was removed after 1969.
328
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:03,640
But never did we feel like
we were any different,
329
00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:07,840
because everyone in that room
was taken by welfare.
330
00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:10,280
As a mother, I just cannot
even comprehend
331
00:20:10,360 --> 00:20:12,320
what it was like
for your mothers to lose you.
332
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:14,560
And it was
the state's institutions
333
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:18,320
who told them
to think white, act white.
334
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,320
We can never give you back
those years,
335
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:22,800
but we can try to make amends.
336
00:20:24,120 --> 00:20:26,960
After I applied
for the compensation scheme,
337
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:28,880
I just waited on an answer.
338
00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:33,000
For me,
it wasn't about the money.
339
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:35,000
It was about helping...
340
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:39,240
...my family heal from that.
341
00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:42,200
Helping them find justice.
342
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:51,200
Growing up,
we never talked about
343
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:53,200
being taken away,
344
00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:55,920
being black, acting white.
345
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:59,200
Trying to find my identity
in all of that...
346
00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:02,560
Where do you belong?
347
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:10,600
I have five children of my own
and four grandchildren.
348
00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:13,640
Mark has four children
of his own.
349
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:17,040
I needed to find out who I was
350
00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:19,760
so I can let them know
who they are.
351
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,800
But also, I knew that
there was a longing inside
352
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:26,880
for me to go find
my white family.
353
00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:29,280
I think it was Rebecca's love
354
00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:31,240
that was pulling me
down that path.
355
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:35,000
I could feel it
but I couldn't see it.
356
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:39,640
And I realised
that I had to get answers.
357
00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:41,880
I had to find out who I was.
358
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:44,200
I had to go back.
359
00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:46,000
Brenda.
360
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:07,880
This is your street, Brenda.
361
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,680
-Same.
- Yep.
362
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:17,160
It's not the same, eh?
363
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:21,280
Brenda Mum. Here she is.
364
00:22:21,360 --> 00:22:22,960
Look at you.
365
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:27,720
- Hello! How are you?
- Hi, Mark.
366
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:29,640
- Good, thank you.
- Wonderful to see you.
367
00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:31,320
Mmm.
368
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:36,080
This is the home
that we got, um...
369
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:41,280
...to get our children back
who were taken from us.
370
00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:44,440
Planted a lovely big
strawberry tree out there.
371
00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:46,120
You can see
the strawberry tree.
372
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:47,680
Mulberry tree.
373
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:49,600
Mulberry. Whatever it was.
374
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:51,760
And, um...
375
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:53,840
...we used to get
the strawberries off it.
376
00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:55,280
Mulberries.
377
00:22:55,360 --> 00:22:56,840
And this is where,
when we...
378
00:22:56,920 --> 00:23:00,000
I'd say
my mother is...
379
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:02,920
...giving...
380
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:04,760
...and kind and gentle.
381
00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:06,600
She's funny.
382
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:09,560
She'd just break out
in song and dance anywhere.
383
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:12,920
And she's got a confidence
about her that...
384
00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:16,560
...yeah, I really admire.
385
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:22,080
Dad was a pastor.
386
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:24,000
I think it was their faith
387
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:27,360
that held them together
for so long.
388
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:29,440
He'd get
his tape recorder out
389
00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:33,000
and we'd just sing
Christian songs all night.
390
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:34,680
That's what he was like.
391
00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:36,840
So, I got those tapes
392
00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:39,200
and I got them put on...
393
00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:40,840
...some of them put on CD,
394
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:44,360
so I'll be able to play them
when I go to my new home
395
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:47,600
and sit down and bring back
all those memories.
396
00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:55,720
About 10 years ago,
Dad... had a stroke.
397
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:58,920
He's been in a nursing home
for 9 or 10 years now
398
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:02,160
and, um... he can't walk.
399
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:05,080
Um... he can't see.
400
00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:08,320
But he can hear.
401
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:11,040
We go in and we'll tell him
how the family's going,
402
00:24:11,120 --> 00:24:13,760
how... how we're all doing.
403
00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:17,560
He's a strong-willed man
and he's still there today.
404
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:20,240
It's an old, um, film.
405
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:24,920
Come home one evening,
406
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,920
{\an8}My little children
407
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:28,720
weren’t running around anymore
408
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:30,720
...they were missing
409
00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:32,920
{\an8}And I felt pretty well
down-hearted
410
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:35,360
{\an8}without children
to greet me home.
411
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:39,040
When I got home, um...
my wife said
412
00:24:39,120 --> 00:24:41,560
that our little children's
been taken away from us.
413
00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:44,160
All seven of them.
414
00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:46,880
We was terrible down-hearted
415
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:49,440
and big emptiness in the heart
416
00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:52,600
where nobody could...
nothing could fill it.
417
00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:55,240
Only your little children
filled that spot.
418
00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:01,040
So when
we were taken away,
419
00:25:01,120 --> 00:25:02,880
did they send us all
to the one home
420
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:05,280
or did they separate us?
421
00:25:05,360 --> 00:25:07,280
They sent you
to the one home when they...
422
00:25:07,360 --> 00:25:08,800
Which one was that?
423
00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:10,360
...took you all
from the courthouse.
424
00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:14,160
Like, in Gil or Dubbo.
I don't know where.
425
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:15,680
Yes, but which home...
426
00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:17,440
And from there,
we didn't know.
427
00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:19,960
- Don't know nothing.
-Oh, OK.
428
00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:22,720
We never gave up,
me and Pop see.
429
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:29,560
If he was there
when Pop come...
430
00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:31,680
...Pop was home
when he come to the house,
431
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:33,480
I know what Pop
might have done to him.
432
00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:36,240
He wouldn't have
let him take...
433
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:39,200
He wouldn't have let him
take his kids, don't worry.
434
00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:41,520
No, he wouldn't have.
He'd have...
435
00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:44,240
He could've brought the police
and everybody there.
436
00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:46,760
He wouldn't have got them.
437
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:50,520
He just happened to be at work
that day.
438
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:55,760
"On 22 February 1973,
439
00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:58,000
"at the age of two years,
440
00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:02,080
"in this day,
charged before this court,
441
00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:04,840
"for that, at Gilgandra...
442
00:26:12,120 --> 00:26:14,240
"..is a neglected child..."
443
00:26:17,120 --> 00:26:21,920
"..hereby committed
to the care of the minister
444
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:23,880
"to be dealt with as a ward
445
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:26,000
"admitted to
the state control...
446
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:31,680
"..given under hand and seal
at this court...
447
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:37,640
"..this 10th day of April,
1973."
448
00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:51,920
When I received
my welfare files,
449
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:53,520
it didn't make sense to me.
450
00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:55,320
It just didn't add up.
451
00:26:55,400 --> 00:27:00,600
It was just all disconnected
and rearranged.
452
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:02,840
I knew the family.
453
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:05,320
I got to the first page
454
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:08,440
and I broke down.
455
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:10,880
I felt for Brenda.
456
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:12,480
I couldn't believe
what they were writing
457
00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:14,280
about Brenda's
mother and father.
458
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:17,880
They were making
all these accusations
459
00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:22,280
but they never had the story
because they never asked.
460
00:27:22,360 --> 00:27:26,600
Someone else telling our story
made me angry.
461
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:28,720
It wasn't who we were.
462
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:31,880
It wasn't reflecting
our family structure.
463
00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:34,200
It wasn't the truth.
464
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,760
♪ I got the joy bells
465
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:45,680
♪ In my heart
466
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:48,320
♪ I got the joy bells
467
00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:51,280
♪ In my heart
468
00:27:51,360 --> 00:27:54,040
♪ I'll sing his praises
469
00:27:54,120 --> 00:27:56,960
♪ Throughout the ages
470
00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:59,600
♪ I've got the joy bells
471
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:02,800
♪ In my heart. ♪
472
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:05,400
I'll never forget them songs...
473
00:28:07,360 --> 00:28:08,800
...'cause it meant a lot to me
474
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:11,200
to sing them in the churches
and that.
475
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:12,800
Yeah.
476
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:16,080
Oh, everything made us happy, Everything.
477
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:20,240
When we got married,
we were just so happy.
478
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:24,040
We had children.
We were happy with them.
479
00:28:24,120 --> 00:28:26,160
And Gary, he was a pastor.
480
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:29,240
He loved talking
about the Lord to people.
481
00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:34,160
We went places, done
a lot of travelling around.
482
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:36,800
And, like, if we was
at one house,
483
00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:39,440
they'd ring up and say,
484
00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:42,040
"Oh, we're gonna have
a cottage meeting tonight.
485
00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:43,840
"Can you come over?
486
00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:46,760
"Bring the guitar, ukulele,
whatever."
487
00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:49,600
All night, just singing
and praising the Lord
488
00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:51,640
and sitting up just talking,
you know.
489
00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:59,480
One day we just decided
to go out to Gilgandra.
490
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:03,120
Gary was working on
the council with his brother.
491
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:05,920
We stayed with
a Christian family.
492
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:09,720
But before he goes to work,
493
00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:11,520
he used to get
a bag of lollies,
494
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:13,280
and every time
they'd come home,
495
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:14,800
they'd run out to him.
496
00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:16,800
They loved him.
497
00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:18,960
Every day he'd just go to work
498
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:22,480
and I'd be home
with the children,
499
00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:25,160
sending them to school
and that.
500
00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:33,920
We just heard a knock
on the door one day.
501
00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:41,000
They said they wanted
to talk to me.
502
00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:45,920
And when I went out,
it was the welfare.
503
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:49,560
He just had his papers there
and he said to me
504
00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:51,840
that he'd come to take
my children.
505
00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:58,360
And I didn't know
what to say or do.
506
00:29:59,880 --> 00:30:02,640
And I begged him and asked him
not to take them.
507
00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:06,000
I said, "Just wait until
my husband comes home."
508
00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:09,920
But he said no,
that he had to take them then.
509
00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:15,520
So I didn't know what to do.
510
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:29,040
I didn't know where they went to.
511
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:32,800
They didn't tell me
where they were taking them.
512
00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:37,080
I had seven children
513
00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:39,680
and the whole seven of them
were taken.
514
00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:43,880
When Gary came home,
515
00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:45,960
he asked me
where the children were,
516
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:47,720
and I told him what happened.
517
00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:51,880
He went down
to the police station
518
00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:54,120
to see if they could help him.
519
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:58,440
He said to Gary that
if he gets a better job,
520
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:00,480
decent house,
521
00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:03,600
he would help him
get them back.
522
00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:06,280
That's what they told him.
523
00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:47,520
And that's the police station
you run down to
524
00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:49,800
to tell them that your kids
were taken.
525
00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:51,520
The police station, yeah.
526
00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:53,080
- Yeah.
-That's it.
527
00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:55,080
Gilgandra Courthouse.
528
00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:57,880
That the courthouse there?
529
00:31:57,960 --> 00:31:59,440
-Yeah.
-That's the courthouse?
530
00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:01,000
That's all changed.
531
00:32:07,440 --> 00:32:08,880
Mum had asked us
532
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:11,800
to go out Gulargambone
for a reunion with the family.
533
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:15,440
Gulargambone and Gilgandra,
534
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:18,640
they're neighbouring towns.
535
00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:22,840
We went to the courthouse
at Gilgandra.
536
00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:26,000
Mum wouldn't get out
of the car
537
00:32:26,080 --> 00:32:27,560
but I wanted to have a look.
538
00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:29,920
Come on, then. Brenda.
539
00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:33,240
To me, that's the place
540
00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:36,480
where we were deemed
neglected children.
541
00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:39,680
That's where we were told
542
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:41,680
Mum and Dad
wasn't doing their job
543
00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:44,880
as a mother and a father
544
00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:46,760
by their standards.
545
00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:51,240
Come on, let's go.
546
00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:53,320
We can't hang around here
with the police here.
547
00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:58,840
It's funny, 'cause
you're in a story together,
548
00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:00,920
but you're on
different journeys,
549
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:02,360
you're on different paths.
550
00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:05,320
And sometimes it's hard to see
someone else's path
551
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:07,160
when you're stuck in yours.
552
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:10,360
It's hard to see the trauma
in someone else
553
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:12,640
when you're stuck
in your own trauma.
554
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:23,080
When we had to go to court,
555
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:25,240
I just sat out
with the children.
556
00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:28,120
I thought it'd be easy
557
00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:30,520
and that, you know,
that they'd just say
558
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:32,240
"Oh, well, made a mistake,"
559
00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:36,200
or, you know, "They can give
your children back to you."
560
00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:42,760
Gary came out and said
that they have to go.
561
00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:48,880
And then when he came out,
the welfare...
562
00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:51,480
...I said to him,
"Can I make a bottle?"
563
00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:54,680
And that's when
I made the bottle.
564
00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:58,720
Give it to Gary to...
565
00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:02,640
...just give it to her
when she got hungry.
566
00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:09,159
He just put
all the kids in the back,
567
00:34:09,239 --> 00:34:11,000
drove off.
568
00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:14,920
And they were just all trying
to turn around
569
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:17,159
and look at
their mother and father...
570
00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:19,960
...to wave to us.
571
00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:26,440
What could you say?
572
00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:35,000
You can't say anything.
573
00:34:36,679 --> 00:34:38,400
We were very lonely.
574
00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:46,639
We'd just sit on their beds,
575
00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:49,600
pick up their little
teddy bears, dolls,
576
00:34:49,679 --> 00:34:51,320
and cuddle them.
577
00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:52,960
What can you do?
578
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:57,520
No little kids running around,
579
00:34:57,600 --> 00:34:59,640
singing out,
"Mummy, can I have this?"
580
00:34:59,720 --> 00:35:01,200
"Daddy, can I have that?"
581
00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:05,000
There's nothing
you could do...
582
00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:10,960
...but sit there with
all that pain and hurt...
583
00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:14,400
...of your children
being taken from you.
584
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:17,400
It's all you can do.
585
00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:48,680
This is where he took
youse all, from here.
586
00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:53,920
Do you want to go see it?
587
00:35:59,720 --> 00:36:01,280
It's OK.
588
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:10,800
- Come on.
- I'll be fine.
589
00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:12,480
Hmm?
590
00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:14,800
- It's good.
- And where was we?
591
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:16,320
When they come and got us?
592
00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:18,080
- Inside. Youse were playing.
- Inside.
593
00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:20,480
And I was out here
talking to him, yeah.
594
00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:22,080
Yeah.
595
00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:23,880
And Pop was at work.
596
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:28,880
So we can go and see Bubbie.
597
00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:30,840
Do youse want to go inside
or what?
598
00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:32,000
Yeah.
599
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:37,520
She hadn't been to the house
where we were taken from
600
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:39,520
since we were taken.
601
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:42,520
I just wanted her, I suppose,
602
00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:44,520
to go back to
that haunted place
603
00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:47,880
and to let her know
that, you know,
604
00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:52,680
it might be a scary place
in our memories and our minds,
605
00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:55,920
but I think returning
to these places
606
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:57,840
brings a sense of healing.
607
00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:01,920
That's all covered in too, eh?
There was a bedroom there.
608
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:04,760
Yeah. There's still
a bedroom out the back there.
609
00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:07,600
The bedroom out there, that's
where we were staying in,
610
00:37:07,680 --> 00:37:09,960
that bedroom out there, yeah.
611
00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:11,480
A lot of them down in...
612
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:13,040
I thought
returning to the house
613
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:15,000
would bring back some memories
for myself.
614
00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:18,000
But...
615
00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:20,080
...I-I didn't have
any memories.
616
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:24,520
It felt...
617
00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:27,160
...like being in an empty room.
618
00:37:27,240 --> 00:37:29,760
That's how I could
describe it.
619
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:31,600
There was nothing in there.
620
00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:58,920
♪ Spend my time
621
00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:00,520
♪ With my family
622
00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:05,240
♪ Spend my time
623
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:08,280
♪ With my family. ♪
624
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:19,280
I tell you, it was
very, very... lonely at night.
625
00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:23,120
And all those lonely nights
and Christmases
626
00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:25,440
that they were away from us,
627
00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:27,480
we were very sad
628
00:38:27,560 --> 00:38:29,800
that we couldn't
spend it with them.
629
00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:32,240
But we knew in our hearts
that we'd get them back.
630
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:36,480
We found a house in Armatree.
631
00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:38,640
We made the house homely.
632
00:38:38,720 --> 00:38:40,920
Gary would get up early
to go to work.
633
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:42,840
I'd have to get up then
with him
634
00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:45,560
to get the house ready, clean,
635
00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:48,560
for the welfare to come
and check the house out.
636
00:38:49,680 --> 00:38:51,840
He never said anything to me.
637
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:54,800
He'd just walk through
the house, check it,
638
00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:57,000
and away he'd go again.
639
00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:01,080
What more could I do
for the welfare?
640
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:07,160
Them fellas out there
in... Gilgandra,
641
00:39:07,240 --> 00:39:08,920
they wouldn't...
642
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:11,120
...wasn't helping us enough,
643
00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:14,280
because they would just come
into the house, check it out,
644
00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:16,800
and you'd... you'd never
see them until the next week.
645
00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:22,600
We just thought that if
we come back to Newcastle,
646
00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:25,680
we'd be seeing other welfares
down here.
647
00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:28,240
And when we came back
down here,
648
00:39:28,320 --> 00:39:30,000
we got a house in Mayfield
649
00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:33,720
and that's where we had
our other baby that we had.
650
00:39:37,640 --> 00:39:39,080
I just done the house up
651
00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:41,200
the same way I did
in Gilgandra.
652
00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:43,160
Gary would be at work
every day
653
00:39:43,240 --> 00:39:46,360
and the welfare would come,
talk to me.
654
00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:49,160
Very kind fella.
655
00:39:49,240 --> 00:39:50,840
All of a sudden,
656
00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:53,480
we got them saying, you know,
657
00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:55,720
you can
get your children back.
658
00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:57,920
And we were just excited.
659
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:01,440
So thrilled, we was.
660
00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:03,400
We got two home.
661
00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:07,080
Then we got another two home,
662
00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:09,520
another two, and then...
663
00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:12,600
It was good that we had
those children with us,
664
00:40:12,680 --> 00:40:15,280
but I knew the other one
was coming.
665
00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:32,680
All my children
came back to me,
666
00:40:32,760 --> 00:40:34,640
and that's the most important
thing in my life...
667
00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:40,320
...'cause I don't know
what I would have done
668
00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:42,840
without my children.
669
00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:45,680
And when I got them back,
670
00:40:45,760 --> 00:40:47,360
we just enjoyed life.
671
00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:49,360
We settled down,
672
00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:51,760
tried to give them
the best life that we could.
673
00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:55,480
I'm a good mother.
674
00:40:55,560 --> 00:40:57,520
Yeah. Good mother.
675
00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:07,440
{\an8}
676
00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:09,240
{\an8}
677
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:17,800
Going back through
Mum's side of the story,
678
00:41:17,880 --> 00:41:23,240
I felt like I was finally
getting some answers,
679
00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:24,960
but I...
680
00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:27,080
...I just couldn't
put the pieces together.
681
00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:29,960
There was pieces missing,
like a puzzle.
682
00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:32,760
And if I didn't go back
and find answers
683
00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:34,720
on both sides of my families,
684
00:41:34,800 --> 00:41:36,520
black and white,
685
00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:38,360
I still wouldn't know
who I am.
686
00:41:38,440 --> 00:41:40,440
I still wouldn't know
where I belong.
687
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:46,240
I've always had a memory there.
688
00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:48,440
I knew it was my white father
689
00:41:48,520 --> 00:41:51,880
taking me back to
my mother and father's place.
690
00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:58,200
I thought that they had
just dropped me off
691
00:41:58,280 --> 00:41:59,720
and, you know, I thought
692
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:02,240
they were coming back to
pick me up and take me home.
693
00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:09,160
For a long time, I felt
abandoned by my white father.
694
00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:12,320
I thought that they didn't
want me anymore.
695
00:42:15,720 --> 00:42:18,080
I wanted to know now
696
00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:20,320
did they ever love me?
697
00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:22,640
Did they ever think about me?
698
00:42:22,720 --> 00:42:24,720
And I knew there was
something missing,
699
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:26,800
and that was
my little white sister.
700
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:33,560
There was a deeper love there
that nothing could take away.
701
00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:37,280
And that longing inside of me
was calling me.
702
00:42:42,720 --> 00:42:44,720
When I went back
into the files,
703
00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:47,720
I saw the address
that we had lived at.
704
00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:50,320
So I just searched
up and down the street
705
00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:52,720
on the... on Google.
706
00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:55,920
Things started
coming back to me.
707
00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:58,680
I had some sort of connection there.
708
00:42:58,760 --> 00:43:00,320
I had been there before.
709
00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:03,440
My memories were there.
710
00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:06,920
I just didn't know how to
reconnect to that place.
711
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:10,080
She was so excited
to find the address.
712
00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:13,480
But at the same time,
713
00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:17,320
it was that fear
of being rejected again,
714
00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:21,000
the scariness
of all the "what ifs",
715
00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:23,040
'cause she knew
if she opened that door,
716
00:43:23,120 --> 00:43:25,240
it could hurt.
717
00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:28,120
But also, I couldn't...
718
00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:31,800
...do it
out of respect for my mother.
719
00:43:31,880 --> 00:43:33,560
And I wanted to...
720
00:43:35,360 --> 00:43:37,840
...get her permission
to do that
721
00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:41,000
before I even went there.
722
00:43:41,080 --> 00:43:43,040
Brenda was putting it off.
723
00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:45,560
She was hesitant and reluctant
and she wanted me to do it,
724
00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:48,360
and I said to Brenda,
"This is not my space.
725
00:43:48,440 --> 00:43:51,160
"You need to do this.
This is your story."
726
00:43:51,240 --> 00:43:53,280
I was beating around the bush
727
00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:57,000
and just making conversation,
I think, and...
728
00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:03,160
...I just plucked up
the courage to ask her.
729
00:44:03,240 --> 00:44:06,000
"Can I go see
my white family?"
730
00:44:09,920 --> 00:44:11,640
Yeah, and she just said,
731
00:44:11,720 --> 00:44:13,960
"What do you want
to go find them for?"
732
00:44:18,240 --> 00:44:19,920
I'm her mum.
733
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:21,760
I was the one that had her.
734
00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:26,400
And I fought for her...
735
00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:32,080
...until I got her back.
736
00:44:33,400 --> 00:44:34,960
"Why would you want to go
737
00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:37,760
"and visit your white family again...
738
00:44:38,880 --> 00:44:41,960
"..when you've been taken away
from me?"
739
00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:43,920
You know?
740
00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:46,280
"And to get youse all home,
it was just..."
741
00:44:47,800 --> 00:44:51,240
Just so happy
to get them all home.
742
00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:55,600
And to say, "Nobody will
touch my kids again, nobody.
743
00:44:55,680 --> 00:44:58,800
"Nobody will take
my kids again."
744
00:44:58,880 --> 00:45:01,760
She had a story
and I had a story,
745
00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:05,360
and my side told me
that there was love there...
746
00:45:06,720 --> 00:45:08,440
...where her side
was telling her
747
00:45:08,520 --> 00:45:11,360
that there was
hurt and pain there.
748
00:45:13,360 --> 00:45:15,920
And I could understand that.
749
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:18,000
You know, why would
she want to go back
750
00:45:18,080 --> 00:45:19,720
and see those people,
751
00:45:19,800 --> 00:45:23,320
her white parents
who looked after her?
752
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:25,920
But there's also a bit of love
in me that...
753
00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:31,120
...I can give to her a blessing
754
00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:34,400
and say, "Right, well, you can
go back and you can...
755
00:45:35,640 --> 00:45:38,720
"..search for
your white mum and dad.
756
00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:41,440
"Find out."
757
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:44,920
Mum had the grace
758
00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:48,440
to let me do
what I needed to do,
759
00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:51,720
and then I thought,
"Oh, this is it."
760
00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:56,720
Are you putting them
herbs on now?
761
00:45:56,800 --> 00:45:58,080
Yeah.
762
00:46:01,960 --> 00:46:05,520
I thought we could
look up the name,
763
00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:08,200
my little white sister's name,
Rebecca Ockers.
764
00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:12,040
So, Mark's daughters,
Kiara and Amy,
765
00:46:12,120 --> 00:46:14,760
started to search for that.
766
00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:17,240
I think we had 'Ockers'.
767
00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:21,320
{\an8}All we had was Ockers, and it
was Eugene, Jesse and Rebecca.
768
00:46:21,400 --> 00:46:24,520
- And a Conchita and...
- And a Conchita and Herman.
769
00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:27,160
We were just searching,
searching, searching.
770
00:46:27,240 --> 00:46:29,920
And then we finally
click onto,
771
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:32,040
like, maybe our 30th web page.
772
00:46:32,120 --> 00:46:34,480
Oh.
773
00:46:34,560 --> 00:46:36,840
This is what it kind of
came up with.
774
00:46:36,920 --> 00:46:39,960
"Rebecca Regina
Lamond/Ockers."
775
00:46:40,040 --> 00:46:43,640
And then it had, "Daughter of
Herman and Conchita Ockers,
776
00:46:43,720 --> 00:46:47,040
"mother to Blake and Shae,
sister to Eugene and Jesse."
777
00:46:51,160 --> 00:46:53,000
And they found
a death notice...
778
00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:58,360
...of Rebecca's.
779
00:47:00,760 --> 00:47:02,240
And I said to them...
780
00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:06,120
..."It can't be true.
781
00:47:06,200 --> 00:47:07,680
"That..."
782
00:47:13,080 --> 00:47:18,720
So I asked them to look at
the birth date on the notice,
783
00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:22,040
with the birth date on my
files, from the welfare files.
784
00:47:25,280 --> 00:47:26,760
And it was her.
785
00:47:36,360 --> 00:47:38,680
The one I felt closest to
in my life
786
00:47:38,760 --> 00:47:41,320
was now forever
out of my life.
787
00:47:45,960 --> 00:47:49,000
All I could do was walk into
my room and cry my heart out.
788
00:48:16,160 --> 00:48:18,080
Brenda needed
some time, some space
789
00:48:18,160 --> 00:48:20,800
to reflect on that.
790
00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:23,040
That's what amazes me
about her.
791
00:48:23,120 --> 00:48:25,000
She's very resilient.
792
00:48:35,960 --> 00:48:38,440
She didn't have closure
with Rebecca.
793
00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:42,280
But she was also drawn
from the love she had
794
00:48:42,360 --> 00:48:44,360
from her white mother
and father.
795
00:48:44,440 --> 00:48:46,920
And our hope was...
796
00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:49,520
...are they still around?
797
00:48:49,600 --> 00:48:51,760
Are they still alive?
798
00:48:51,840 --> 00:48:53,760
Can we find them?
799
00:48:56,120 --> 00:48:58,000
So, that was our next step.
800
00:49:04,600 --> 00:49:06,600
We found Conchita.
801
00:49:06,680 --> 00:49:09,280
We couldn't find her before
because her name is Connie.
802
00:49:09,360 --> 00:49:11,920
She goes by Connie,
not Conchita.
803
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:14,240
So we were like,
"We found them, Brenda."
804
00:49:14,320 --> 00:49:17,560
"Hi. I'm Kiara Matthews.
I'm Brenda's stepdaughter.
805
00:49:17,640 --> 00:49:19,920
"She would love to meet up
or even talk on the phone
806
00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:21,160
"if you would want to."
807
00:49:21,240 --> 00:49:23,920
Connie then responded, "We
would love to talk to her."
808
00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:25,320
- Smiley face.
- Smiley face.
809
00:49:25,400 --> 00:49:28,000
I was... I was really excited.
810
00:49:28,080 --> 00:49:31,320
There's been a whole big gap
in my life for so long,
811
00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:35,320
and now I'm... I'm finally
getting something.
812
00:49:36,400 --> 00:49:38,440
Connie said to Kiara
813
00:49:38,520 --> 00:49:40,680
that she would ring me
that night.
814
00:49:40,760 --> 00:49:43,320
I just wanted
to prepare myself.
815
00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:45,760
I just wanted that moment
for me.
816
00:49:50,840 --> 00:49:53,840
After so many years,
to actually get a message
817
00:49:53,920 --> 00:49:57,640
to say that, you know, Brenda
wanted to get in contact,
818
00:49:57,720 --> 00:49:59,080
I was just blown away.
819
00:49:59,160 --> 00:50:00,880
I just couldn't believe it.
820
00:50:00,960 --> 00:50:03,920
I just said,
"Maybe it's not her."
821
00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:05,920
Connie said, "It is Brenda.
822
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:08,920
"And she wants to know
if we'll talk to her."
823
00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:12,240
And I says, "Of course!
Of course we will."
824
00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:14,440
We were waiting on the table,
we're sitting there,
825
00:50:14,520 --> 00:50:16,800
anxious to... to ring.
826
00:50:16,880 --> 00:50:19,240
I think we rang a bit earlier
than we were supposed to.
827
00:50:19,320 --> 00:50:22,040
Once we got through,
it was just quiet.
828
00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:24,760
And then all of a sudden,
we said, "Hello?"
829
00:50:24,840 --> 00:50:29,520
And then we heard Brenda say,
"Hello?" very quietly.
830
00:50:29,600 --> 00:50:31,920
I said, "I can't believe
that it's you."
831
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:34,040
I'm speechless.
832
00:50:34,120 --> 00:50:38,480
All I say to them is, "Well,
what do youse look like now?"
833
00:50:38,560 --> 00:50:41,040
I said, "Oh, I'm a bit like
Brad Pitt.
834
00:50:41,120 --> 00:50:42,560
"A little bit shorter."
835
00:50:43,840 --> 00:50:45,880
He doesn't look anything like
Brad Pitt.
836
00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:50,920
So, um, yeah, I was
like, "Oh, yeah, do you?"
837
00:50:51,000 --> 00:50:54,080
And he calls me 'Bren' and...
838
00:50:54,160 --> 00:50:56,320
...it really made me feel like
839
00:50:56,400 --> 00:50:59,080
I had something there
with them.
840
00:51:01,360 --> 00:51:03,920
I said to them,
841
00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:06,760
"It'd be lovely
to come and meet youse."
842
00:51:06,840 --> 00:51:08,200
We were just hoping...
843
00:51:08,280 --> 00:51:10,320
Couldn't come quick enough
to see her,
844
00:51:10,400 --> 00:51:13,520
and to get back
some of the history
845
00:51:13,600 --> 00:51:15,000
that we'd lost with her.
846
00:51:15,080 --> 00:51:18,000
Then I said, "Oh, OK, then.
847
00:51:19,200 --> 00:51:20,640
"See you soon."
848
00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:43,200
It was a pretty long drive,
849
00:51:43,280 --> 00:51:45,480
but we wanted
to get down there,
850
00:51:45,560 --> 00:51:47,880
so we didn't worry about
the time.
851
00:51:47,960 --> 00:51:50,840
She kept in contact
while she was driving down,
852
00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:52,280
where she was,
853
00:51:52,360 --> 00:51:54,640
so we were getting
more and more hyped up
854
00:51:54,720 --> 00:51:56,280
to see her.
855
00:52:04,200 --> 00:52:08,920
Get a phone call, look down,
and it's Mum.
856
00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:10,640
When Brenda Mum
gives you a phone call,
857
00:52:10,720 --> 00:52:12,880
if you don't answer,
she don't give up.
858
00:52:12,960 --> 00:52:15,920
She'll just dial that number continuously,
859
00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:18,040
and I don't know how many
missed calls Brenda had.
860
00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:21,480
I think it just hit me
after that,
861
00:52:21,560 --> 00:52:23,120
"What if I open this door
862
00:52:23,200 --> 00:52:27,080
"and it doesn't go
how I want it to go?
863
00:52:27,160 --> 00:52:30,240
"If it doesn't look like
how I want it to look?"
864
00:52:30,320 --> 00:52:33,720
But we just kept going.
865
00:52:39,440 --> 00:52:41,120
It was very nerve-racking,
866
00:52:41,200 --> 00:52:43,720
'cause I kept looking
down the driveway
867
00:52:43,800 --> 00:52:45,720
and you didn't know, you know?
868
00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:49,240
We saw the car drive up
and that was it.
869
00:52:49,320 --> 00:52:52,160
We just...
I just burst into tears.
870
00:52:52,240 --> 00:52:54,280
And...
871
00:53:03,960 --> 00:53:05,520
Because, um...
872
00:53:08,080 --> 00:53:09,720
...it was something...
873
00:53:12,120 --> 00:53:14,920
...we were waiting for
for so long.
874
00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:16,320
And, uh...
875
00:53:17,800 --> 00:53:20,040
...when... when she came out...
876
00:53:21,920 --> 00:53:24,680
...we just ran to each other.
877
00:53:24,760 --> 00:53:26,240
We just hugged and...
878
00:53:26,320 --> 00:53:29,000
...and that was... it was
such a good thing...
879
00:53:30,200 --> 00:53:31,800
...after so long.
880
00:53:44,720 --> 00:53:46,640
Driving up
the driveway,
881
00:53:46,720 --> 00:53:51,040
I told Mark to get it
on video, on the iPad.
882
00:53:51,120 --> 00:53:52,680
She gave me one job.
883
00:53:52,760 --> 00:53:54,800
She said,
"Mark, take the iPad."
884
00:53:54,880 --> 00:53:57,240
And I'm not good on that
at the best of times.
885
00:53:57,320 --> 00:53:58,920
I didn't film it.
886
00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:01,920
So, I didn't do my job well.
887
00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:04,040
But the emotion was too much.
888
00:54:04,120 --> 00:54:06,640
So, we missed the opportunity.
889
00:54:06,720 --> 00:54:08,680
And...
890
00:54:08,760 --> 00:54:12,600
Yeah, we just cuddled
and embraced each other.
891
00:54:12,680 --> 00:54:14,520
We sit down, made a cup of tea
892
00:54:14,600 --> 00:54:16,800
and sat and looked
at each other in awe,
893
00:54:16,880 --> 00:54:20,240
you know, like,
"This is happening."
894
00:54:22,080 --> 00:54:26,760
They showed us photos
of all the family.
895
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:30,360
And in nearly every photo,
896
00:54:30,440 --> 00:54:32,240
me and Rebecca's holding hands
897
00:54:32,320 --> 00:54:34,920
and close, cuddling.
898
00:54:37,280 --> 00:54:39,840
Yeah, I just...
I wanted to know,
899
00:54:39,920 --> 00:54:42,520
did Rebecca ever
think about me?
900
00:54:44,920 --> 00:54:47,640
Did she ever wonder
where I was?
901
00:54:47,720 --> 00:54:50,440
Did she want to find me?
902
00:54:50,520 --> 00:54:54,360
Well, she'd already known
that she was passed.
903
00:54:57,520 --> 00:55:00,040
She died of a medical problem.
904
00:55:00,120 --> 00:55:03,600
She was just out of hospital
and it went wrong.
905
00:55:03,680 --> 00:55:06,120
How do you get over that?
You know?
906
00:55:08,080 --> 00:55:09,600
Rebecca always had...
907
00:55:09,680 --> 00:55:11,520
...wanting to catch up with
Brenda again.
908
00:55:11,600 --> 00:55:13,640
I think she was searching
as well.
909
00:55:13,720 --> 00:55:16,280
It's just sad that we
couldn't... it didn't happen.
910
00:55:16,360 --> 00:55:18,000
But at least
they've still got...
911
00:55:18,080 --> 00:55:20,560
...she's still got some photos
and some happy memories
912
00:55:20,640 --> 00:55:22,080
of when they were together,
913
00:55:22,160 --> 00:55:23,680
and Rebecca, growing up,
914
00:55:23,760 --> 00:55:26,120
always sort of thinking of her
as well.
915
00:55:28,880 --> 00:55:31,080
I think inside it was...
916
00:55:31,160 --> 00:55:32,840
...unlocking doors
917
00:55:32,920 --> 00:55:35,000
that had been closed
for a long, long time.
918
00:55:37,400 --> 00:55:41,880
I saw someone
who loved that life,
919
00:55:41,960 --> 00:55:45,040
someone who fitted in,
920
00:55:45,120 --> 00:55:47,080
someone who...
921
00:55:48,320 --> 00:55:50,240
...was happy,
happy to be there.
922
00:56:00,960 --> 00:56:02,480
After we settled down
923
00:56:02,560 --> 00:56:05,240
and we started asking
each other questions,
924
00:56:05,320 --> 00:56:06,800
there was so much
to talk about.
925
00:56:06,880 --> 00:56:08,800
Brenda was excited
and getting answers
926
00:56:08,880 --> 00:56:10,600
and finding out more
about her parents
927
00:56:10,680 --> 00:56:12,320
and more about Rebecca.
928
00:56:12,400 --> 00:56:14,360
And we were both feeling
the warmth from them.
929
00:56:14,440 --> 00:56:16,880
Yeah, we were just sitting
at the table, yarning.
930
00:56:16,960 --> 00:56:20,240
Then, suddenly,
Connie asked me a question.
931
00:56:20,320 --> 00:56:22,280
I said to Brenda,
"How's your family?"
932
00:56:22,360 --> 00:56:26,040
I said, "Is your father
still an alcoholic?"
933
00:56:26,120 --> 00:56:28,360
I don't know
how hard I kicked Brenda,
934
00:56:28,440 --> 00:56:31,440
but I just straightaway
gave her a kick in the shins,
935
00:56:31,520 --> 00:56:35,000
as if, "Where did that
come from?!"
936
00:56:36,120 --> 00:56:37,920
"What?
937
00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:40,520
"My father was never
an alcoholic.
938
00:56:40,600 --> 00:56:43,120
"Why are they talking
this way about my father?
939
00:56:43,200 --> 00:56:45,280
"They don't even know him."
940
00:56:45,360 --> 00:56:47,640
And I said,
"Oh, we always thought that
941
00:56:47,720 --> 00:56:50,600
"that was the reason
you were taken,
942
00:56:50,680 --> 00:56:52,760
"because he was an alcoholic.
943
00:56:52,840 --> 00:56:54,680
"That was...
That's what we heard."
944
00:56:54,760 --> 00:56:56,560
It was good, in a way,
945
00:56:56,640 --> 00:56:59,720
because then that opened
the door for a conversation
946
00:56:59,800 --> 00:57:01,480
to bring in the truth.
947
00:57:01,560 --> 00:57:05,280
And then Mark jumped in
and said, "No, no."
948
00:57:05,360 --> 00:57:06,920
And Brenda too.
949
00:57:07,000 --> 00:57:09,840
There was never any trouble
with the alcohol
950
00:57:09,920 --> 00:57:12,600
because, you know, he's always
been a man of God.
951
00:57:12,680 --> 00:57:14,160
And I says, "Well, you know,
952
00:57:14,240 --> 00:57:16,800
"this is some of the
information we were getting."
953
00:57:16,880 --> 00:57:19,760
They were lied to
and we were lied to.
954
00:57:19,840 --> 00:57:21,960
My mum and dad were lied to.
955
00:57:28,280 --> 00:57:30,000
I remember
her going down there.
956
00:57:30,080 --> 00:57:32,320
She told me,
rang me and told me, yeah.
957
00:57:34,080 --> 00:57:36,720
And I just asked her,
"How did it go?"
958
00:57:36,800 --> 00:57:39,320
And... and, "What happened?"
959
00:57:39,400 --> 00:57:42,920
And she brought back
some photos and showed us.
960
00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:46,920
And I suppose in my heart
I knew that she was safe...
961
00:57:48,160 --> 00:57:50,040
...and she was
well looked after
962
00:57:51,160 --> 00:57:52,880
...by these white parents.
963
00:57:55,400 --> 00:57:56,920
And that they...
964
00:58:00,560 --> 00:58:03,040
...that they had the love there
to give her,
965
00:58:03,120 --> 00:58:05,800
as well as my love for her.
966
00:58:24,800 --> 00:58:26,920
We were having a yarn with Mum
around the table
967
00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:31,320
about our experience down
there with my white family
968
00:58:31,400 --> 00:58:33,160
and what they had told us
969
00:58:33,240 --> 00:58:38,000
about what they were told,
how Dad was an alcoholic.
970
00:58:38,080 --> 00:58:41,240
She was shocked. She was hurt.
971
00:58:41,320 --> 00:58:43,240
She was angry.
972
00:58:46,160 --> 00:58:48,680
And I don't know
what they thought.
973
00:58:48,760 --> 00:58:52,080
I honestly don't know what
the white parents thought.
974
00:58:54,000 --> 00:58:57,840
We were a Christian family,
preaching the Gospel.
975
00:59:00,240 --> 00:59:01,840
And I don't understand that
976
00:59:01,920 --> 00:59:05,000
or why they'd say
things like that.
977
00:59:07,320 --> 00:59:10,040
I couldn't take that.
978
00:59:10,120 --> 00:59:12,520
If that's what was based on
979
00:59:12,600 --> 00:59:15,120
the children
getting taken away,
980
00:59:15,200 --> 00:59:17,880
why wasn't it written down?
981
00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:22,360
It just... you just can't
get it out of your mind.
982
00:59:24,280 --> 00:59:26,760
Why?
983
00:59:26,840 --> 00:59:29,200
Why did he do it?
984
00:59:42,280 --> 00:59:43,840
"However, it appears
985
00:59:43,920 --> 00:59:46,480
"that until early 1976,
986
00:59:46,560 --> 00:59:49,560
"there has been no requests
by the parents
987
00:59:49,640 --> 00:59:51,240
"for information on Brenda."
988
00:59:51,320 --> 00:59:53,320
They're saying at no stage
989
00:59:53,400 --> 00:59:56,320
did you ever request
information on your daughter.
990
00:59:56,400 --> 00:59:57,880
That makes you out to be
991
00:59:57,960 --> 01:00:00,120
a mother who doesn't even care
for her children.
992
01:00:00,200 --> 01:00:01,920
Care about her children.
993
01:00:02,000 --> 01:00:04,080
It says in another file that...
994
01:00:04,160 --> 01:00:05,600
She's to start school...
995
01:00:05,680 --> 01:00:07,560
...she's to start school
in '77.
996
01:00:07,640 --> 01:00:11,040
Yet on there it says '76.
She's come back...
997
01:00:11,120 --> 01:00:14,200
And in mine it's '77,
25 June.
998
01:00:14,280 --> 01:00:16,080
So... so what
we're now discovering
999
01:00:16,160 --> 01:00:18,360
on every sibling's file,
1000
01:00:18,440 --> 01:00:21,880
there's all different dates
and all these discrepancies
1001
01:00:21,960 --> 01:00:23,560
and nothing adds up.
1002
01:00:23,640 --> 01:00:25,560
-Nothing.
-Nothing.
1003
01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:29,120
I was looking
for answers...
1004
01:00:31,120 --> 01:00:34,040
...from the system
that took us, that broke us.
1005
01:00:34,120 --> 01:00:36,880
It was just...
1006
01:00:36,960 --> 01:00:38,400
...seemed like lies.
1007
01:00:40,400 --> 01:00:43,560
The system pulls you down,
1008
01:00:43,640 --> 01:00:46,320
and Brenda didn't need to be
pulled down any further.
1009
01:00:46,400 --> 01:00:49,560
Nothing is fact,
nothing is accurate.
1010
01:00:49,640 --> 01:00:52,080
They just write things
as they see fit.
1011
01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:58,640
Come on, mate.
End of the year, every year.
1012
01:01:02,720 --> 01:01:05,080
{\an8}That day,
all I can remember is...
1013
01:01:06,800 --> 01:01:08,840
{\an8}...getting taken in the car.
1014
01:01:08,920 --> 01:01:10,960
They took us all
to a hospital.
1015
01:01:12,120 --> 01:01:14,680
{\an8}I can still remember
this smell, eh,
1016
01:01:14,760 --> 01:01:16,160
of methylated spirits.
1017
01:01:16,240 --> 01:01:17,760
They must have been...
1018
01:01:19,320 --> 01:01:20,760
...putting it in their hairs
1019
01:01:20,840 --> 01:01:23,520
and just trying to scrub them
with it.
1020
01:01:23,600 --> 01:01:25,680
I can... listen... hearing
all this screaming,
1021
01:01:25,760 --> 01:01:28,000
bellowing out for Mum and Dad and...
1022
01:01:29,560 --> 01:01:32,360
And, um, I said, "I'm supposed
to be here to protect them."
1023
01:01:32,440 --> 01:01:33,800
You know? Like...
1024
01:01:35,560 --> 01:01:37,520
We never really
talked about
1025
01:01:37,600 --> 01:01:39,720
what had happened to us.
1026
01:01:39,800 --> 01:01:42,160
Some of us still don't.
1027
01:01:42,240 --> 01:01:43,680
Going back through story
1028
01:01:43,760 --> 01:01:46,320
I think has helped me
to open up a bit more,
1029
01:01:46,400 --> 01:01:47,480
and now is allowing them
1030
01:01:47,560 --> 01:01:50,600
to maybe talk about
their story a bit more.
1031
01:01:50,680 --> 01:01:53,080
...but because you're the
oldest and you remember more
1032
01:01:53,160 --> 01:01:56,440
and you got a bit more
to tell than most of us.
1033
01:01:56,520 --> 01:01:59,800
I was fostered out
to this family.
1034
01:01:59,880 --> 01:02:01,240
Nelson Bay, wasn't it?
1035
01:02:01,320 --> 01:02:02,760
White family up in Nelson Bay.
1036
01:02:02,840 --> 01:02:05,040
And we were just doing
some shopping.
1037
01:02:05,120 --> 01:02:06,880
Next minute I heard this voice
1038
01:02:06,960 --> 01:02:09,360
and it said,
"There's Gary Boy."
1039
01:02:09,440 --> 01:02:13,200
Yeah, I turned around
and it was Dad.
1040
01:02:13,280 --> 01:02:14,880
That was the...
1041
01:02:16,760 --> 01:02:18,760
...sweetest voice
you ever heard, you know?
1042
01:02:18,840 --> 01:02:21,360
He was so excited and happy.
1043
01:02:21,440 --> 01:02:24,120
I wanted to run over
and cuddle him, but...
1044
01:02:25,360 --> 01:02:28,760
Like, with the...
them foster parents there,
1045
01:02:28,840 --> 01:02:30,840
I didn't know what to do, so...
1046
01:02:32,080 --> 01:02:33,600
You know,
they were 12 foot away
1047
01:02:33,680 --> 01:02:36,320
but it felt like 1,200 miles,
you know?
1048
01:02:38,320 --> 01:02:40,040
It's just terrible
what they done to us
1049
01:02:40,120 --> 01:02:41,680
and what they done
to Mum and Dad.
1050
01:02:41,760 --> 01:02:43,880
Like she said,
they shouldn't have took us.
1051
01:02:43,960 --> 01:02:46,080
They should have just
left us there. We were...
1052
01:02:46,160 --> 01:02:48,240
She looked after us
really good, Mum, you know?
1053
01:02:48,320 --> 01:02:49,760
They should have
just left us there.
1054
01:03:00,920 --> 01:03:02,760
To the mothers
and the fathers,
1055
01:03:02,840 --> 01:03:05,640
the brothers and the sisters,
1056
01:03:05,720 --> 01:03:08,480
for the breaking up
of families and communities,
1057
01:03:08,560 --> 01:03:11,880
for the pain, suffering
and hurt
1058
01:03:11,960 --> 01:03:13,920
of these Stolen Generations,
1059
01:03:14,000 --> 01:03:15,640
we say sorry.
1060
01:03:19,640 --> 01:03:21,840
A future where
this Parliament resolves
1061
01:03:21,920 --> 01:03:23,800
that the injustices
of the past
1062
01:03:23,880 --> 01:03:27,200
must never, never
happen again.
1063
01:03:29,000 --> 01:03:31,680
After I applied for
the compensation scheme,
1064
01:03:31,760 --> 01:03:33,120
I received this letter.
1065
01:03:33,200 --> 01:03:35,120
"From the information provided,
1066
01:03:35,200 --> 01:03:38,720
"the Stolen Generations
Reparation Scheme
1067
01:03:38,800 --> 01:03:40,920
"has determined
that you do not meet
1068
01:03:41,000 --> 01:03:43,840
"the eligibility requirements
1069
01:03:43,920 --> 01:03:50,440
"as your date of birth is
24 November 1970.
1070
01:03:50,520 --> 01:03:53,040
"This means that you could not
have been removed
1071
01:03:53,120 --> 01:03:56,000
"by the New South Wales
Aboriginal Welfare Board,
1072
01:03:56,080 --> 01:03:58,360
"as it was abolished in 1969."
1073
01:04:05,000 --> 01:04:06,440
Growing up,
1074
01:04:06,520 --> 01:04:09,080
I had been told
that I was a stolen child.
1075
01:04:09,160 --> 01:04:11,960
And then they turn around
and they tell me that...
1076
01:04:15,080 --> 01:04:16,640
...I wasn't.
1077
01:04:19,640 --> 01:04:21,000
In their eyes,
1078
01:04:21,080 --> 01:04:24,640
taking us away
was the right thing to do.
1079
01:04:27,000 --> 01:04:28,560
That meant
Brenda's mother and father
1080
01:04:28,640 --> 01:04:31,200
were still classified as
neglectful parents
1081
01:04:31,280 --> 01:04:33,920
and Brenda was still
a neglected child.
1082
01:04:35,640 --> 01:04:38,240
It's not right.
It's not right.
1083
01:04:38,320 --> 01:04:40,920
We have feelings.
1084
01:04:41,000 --> 01:04:44,440
As mothers, we have feelings.
We hurt.
1085
01:04:44,520 --> 01:04:47,400
I never, ever neglected
my children.
1086
01:04:49,760 --> 01:04:51,280
Never.
1087
01:04:56,240 --> 01:04:58,120
It doesn't matter
about the Act.
1088
01:05:00,240 --> 01:05:02,320
Doesn't matter about it.
1089
01:05:02,400 --> 01:05:06,160
My children are still a part
of the Stolen Generation.
1090
01:05:06,240 --> 01:05:08,000
The Stolen Generation.
1091
01:05:10,680 --> 01:05:13,080
It felt like
being rejected again,
1092
01:05:13,160 --> 01:05:15,560
abandoned.
1093
01:05:15,640 --> 01:05:18,040
All I saw was the hurt
and the pain.
1094
01:05:19,840 --> 01:05:21,480
Who am I?
1095
01:05:21,560 --> 01:05:24,360
What's my identity
in this space?
1096
01:05:42,200 --> 01:05:46,720
We went to the system to try
to get help and healing.
1097
01:05:46,800 --> 01:05:52,320
And every... door
that I thought was open
1098
01:05:53,440 --> 01:05:55,000
...slammed on my face.
1099
01:06:04,400 --> 01:06:07,920
That just made me
even more angrier,
1100
01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:10,320
but determined...
1101
01:06:11,760 --> 01:06:15,280
...to find another way
for justice.
1102
01:06:29,360 --> 01:06:31,440
I thought the story
needed to be told.
1103
01:06:31,520 --> 01:06:33,400
I thought the truth needed
to be told.
1104
01:06:35,360 --> 01:06:39,000
Expressing all that anger
and frustration out on paper,
1105
01:06:39,080 --> 01:06:42,640
I can see the lies
being uncovered.
1106
01:06:43,680 --> 01:06:46,000
I realised
that the government were right
1107
01:06:46,080 --> 01:06:47,840
in saying we weren't removed
1108
01:06:47,920 --> 01:06:50,560
by the NSW Aboriginal Board,
1109
01:06:50,640 --> 01:06:52,320
because the Act had changed.
1110
01:06:53,840 --> 01:06:55,520
But the action didn't.
1111
01:06:56,640 --> 01:06:58,600
The action stayed the same.
1112
01:06:58,680 --> 01:07:02,000
And it doesn't matter
which Act it come under.
1113
01:07:02,080 --> 01:07:05,080
We were still stolen children.
1114
01:07:05,160 --> 01:07:09,240
That has given me
the will to keep going on
1115
01:07:09,320 --> 01:07:13,080
and finding... a new identity.
1116
01:07:30,800 --> 01:07:33,480
Oh, hey!
1117
01:07:33,560 --> 01:07:35,080
-Hi!
- Hello, darling!
1118
01:07:35,160 --> 01:07:38,360
It's so nice to see you!
You look amazing.
1119
01:07:38,440 --> 01:07:41,200
-So do you.
- Oh, wow!
1120
01:07:41,280 --> 01:07:43,560
I can't believe you're here.
It's so good.
1121
01:07:45,920 --> 01:07:48,640
Hello.
1122
01:07:48,720 --> 01:07:50,560
- How have you been? Good?
- Yeah, good.
1123
01:07:50,640 --> 01:07:54,720
{\an8}-Reconnecting again
with my white family,
1124
01:07:54,800 --> 01:07:56,960
{\an8}I think I was
in a happy space.
1125
01:07:57,040 --> 01:07:59,200
I had some sort of connection there.
1126
01:07:59,280 --> 01:08:00,760
Well, my very first memory,
1127
01:08:00,840 --> 01:08:03,240
so there's nothing
before Brenda.
1128
01:08:03,320 --> 01:08:05,880
{\an8}And then I couldn't
say goodbye to you.
1129
01:08:05,960 --> 01:08:07,560
{\an8}Like, I remember
my mum saying,
1130
01:08:07,640 --> 01:08:09,880
{\an8}"Rich, you've gotta say
goodbye. Give Brenda a hug."
1131
01:08:09,960 --> 01:08:11,520
{\an8}I'm like, "No."
Couldn't do it.
1132
01:08:13,320 --> 01:08:16,279
And that's you and Rebecca.
1133
01:08:16,359 --> 01:08:19,200
At some points,
I could feel them
1134
01:08:19,279 --> 01:08:21,200
wanting to get close to me,
1135
01:08:21,279 --> 01:08:24,080
but I would just back off.
1136
01:08:36,000 --> 01:08:39,160
When I got back
to my black family
1137
01:08:39,240 --> 01:08:41,920
and I speak or I talk
or whatever,
1138
01:08:42,000 --> 01:08:44,520
they tell me I'm acting white.
1139
01:08:44,600 --> 01:08:47,040
But if I was brought up
with whitefellas
1140
01:08:47,120 --> 01:08:49,399
for the first
five, six, seven years...
1141
01:08:51,800 --> 01:08:53,720
...how else am I supposed
to act?
1142
01:08:53,800 --> 01:08:56,120
Didn't know culture,
we didn't know...
1143
01:08:58,279 --> 01:08:59,920
...how to be Aboriginal,
1144
01:09:00,000 --> 01:09:02,640
'cause a couple
of generations ago
1145
01:09:02,720 --> 01:09:04,200
we were disconnected
from that.
1146
01:09:09,120 --> 01:09:11,560
How are you, Aunty?
1147
01:09:11,640 --> 01:09:14,760
Good to see you! Mwah!
1148
01:09:17,840 --> 01:09:20,000
This is your family tree here.
1149
01:09:20,080 --> 01:09:23,200
I want you to put an asterisk
1150
01:09:23,279 --> 01:09:26,479
next to... Maria.
1151
01:09:26,560 --> 01:09:27,800
She's Aboriginal.
1152
01:09:27,880 --> 01:09:30,800
{\an8}- She is the mother of Edward.
BRENDA: OK.
1153
01:09:30,880 --> 01:09:32,120
{\an8}He's Aboriginal.
1154
01:09:32,200 --> 01:09:35,000
We always knew
Dad's country was Biripi,
1155
01:09:35,080 --> 01:09:37,560
so we had connection there.
1156
01:09:37,640 --> 01:09:39,920
But there was another half missing,
1157
01:09:40,000 --> 01:09:41,520
until Kim showed us
1158
01:09:41,600 --> 01:09:44,920
where Mum's mother was from
and her mother was from,
1159
01:09:45,000 --> 01:09:48,920
which was in Walla,
in Wiradjuri country.
1160
01:09:50,439 --> 01:09:52,600
Because you get a lot of
your colour from your father.
1161
01:09:52,680 --> 01:09:53,800
Mm.
1162
01:09:53,880 --> 01:09:56,680
Your mother's a lot lighter
than you, isn't she?
1163
01:09:56,760 --> 01:09:57,920
Mm.
1164
01:09:59,800 --> 01:10:01,320
Very much.
1165
01:10:01,400 --> 01:10:04,560
You throw someone like me
into the mix,
1166
01:10:04,640 --> 01:10:09,920
their policies worked
quite well on my family.
1167
01:10:10,000 --> 01:10:14,080
They bred the colour out
of my family.
1168
01:10:14,160 --> 01:10:17,560
They might be able to breed
the outside colour out,
1169
01:10:17,640 --> 01:10:20,240
but they'll never
breed the black out.
1170
01:10:20,320 --> 01:10:23,280
Where was the first point
of contact with whitefellas
1171
01:10:23,360 --> 01:10:24,480
for our...
1172
01:10:24,560 --> 01:10:26,080
For our mob,
1173
01:10:26,160 --> 01:10:28,880
all this was settled
down around Melbourne way.
1174
01:10:28,960 --> 01:10:31,600
This gets settled
quite quickly,
1175
01:10:31,680 --> 01:10:34,280
and also we get
people from Adelaide
1176
01:10:34,360 --> 01:10:36,080
coming over into these places.
1177
01:10:36,160 --> 01:10:38,560
- We do fight back.
-Mm.
1178
01:10:38,640 --> 01:10:40,840
- We fight back hard.
-Mm...
1179
01:10:40,920 --> 01:10:43,920
The Wiradjuri
had an uprising.
1180
01:10:44,000 --> 01:10:47,680
Next thing, martial law's
declared, massive war.
1181
01:10:47,760 --> 01:10:50,480
Lots of our men
were killed off,
1182
01:10:50,560 --> 01:10:52,880
lots of women killed as well.
1183
01:10:52,960 --> 01:10:54,920
And so many of the babies
1184
01:10:55,000 --> 01:10:59,480
were sent to
different missions
1185
01:10:59,560 --> 01:11:02,200
that were started
all around NSW.
1186
01:11:02,280 --> 01:11:06,440
So, that's when they start
taking our babies
1187
01:11:06,520 --> 01:11:08,120
from that area.
1188
01:11:10,160 --> 01:11:12,080
Did you know
your mother was taken away
1189
01:11:12,160 --> 01:11:14,200
and put in a home?
1190
01:11:14,280 --> 01:11:16,440
I found those records.
1191
01:11:16,520 --> 01:11:19,160
Not only was she in a home,
1192
01:11:19,240 --> 01:11:20,680
so was her mother.
1193
01:11:20,760 --> 01:11:22,160
My grannie.
1194
01:11:40,120 --> 01:11:41,920
I feel like I'm just...
1195
01:11:42,000 --> 01:11:46,120
...travelling through a house
with nowhere to rest,
1196
01:11:46,200 --> 01:11:49,640
nowhere to plant my feet.
1197
01:11:49,720 --> 01:11:52,120
I just feel like a wanderer
1198
01:11:52,200 --> 01:11:54,520
that just keeps wandering.
1199
01:11:58,600 --> 01:12:01,360
You're looking for answers,
you're looking for belonging,
1200
01:12:01,440 --> 01:12:03,600
you're looking for healing.
1201
01:12:05,040 --> 01:12:07,640
But where do you find that
1202
01:12:07,720 --> 01:12:10,880
if everybody else around you
is hurt too?
1203
01:12:15,240 --> 01:12:17,680
Mark can grab the tape.
1204
01:12:30,800 --> 01:12:33,960
Hey, we going pretty good.
1205
01:12:34,040 --> 01:12:35,720
He said "Where youse going?"
1206
01:12:35,800 --> 01:12:38,080
I said, "We're going down here
to have a burial."
1207
01:12:39,600 --> 01:12:41,640
- Gee whiz.
1208
01:12:41,720 --> 01:12:43,080
I haven't heard this one.
1209
01:12:44,720 --> 01:12:46,240
There's him thinking himself
1210
01:12:46,320 --> 01:12:48,480
don't bother going down there
all that in the rain...
1211
01:13:01,000 --> 01:13:04,800
♪ "Come home, come home
1212
01:13:04,880 --> 01:13:08,000
♪ "It's suppertime"
1213
01:13:09,360 --> 01:13:13,200
♪ We're going home
1214
01:13:13,280 --> 01:13:17,080
♪ At last
1215
01:13:17,160 --> 01:13:19,160
♪ Winding down
1216
01:13:19,240 --> 01:13:24,160
♪ An old familiar pathway... ♪
1217
01:13:24,240 --> 01:13:27,760
Dad used to always
tell us that he loved us.
1218
01:13:27,840 --> 01:13:31,040
And he loved singing.
He loved singing.
1219
01:13:33,960 --> 01:13:37,040
And a couple of times
we thought we would lose him.
1220
01:13:37,120 --> 01:13:40,080
They told us that
we'd have to go down
1221
01:13:40,160 --> 01:13:43,920
'cause he wouldn't live to see
a certain day.
1222
01:13:44,000 --> 01:13:46,200
When we got in there...
1223
01:13:47,880 --> 01:13:50,040
...he said,
"Where you going, Brenda?"
1224
01:13:50,120 --> 01:13:53,240
And so I said, "Oh, I'm not
going anywhere, Dad.
1225
01:13:53,320 --> 01:13:55,360
"I'm staying here with you."
1226
01:13:55,440 --> 01:13:57,000
And he said to me...
1227
01:13:58,200 --> 01:13:59,760
..."Sing me a song."
1228
01:14:02,720 --> 01:14:04,480
But I couldn't.
1229
01:14:04,560 --> 01:14:07,760
The pain wouldn't allow me
1230
01:14:07,840 --> 01:14:11,120
to feel joy and happiness.
1231
01:14:16,920 --> 01:14:19,160
But I've realised...
1232
01:14:21,240 --> 01:14:22,920
...in our culture...
1233
01:14:25,360 --> 01:14:26,800
...that's what we did -
1234
01:14:26,880 --> 01:14:29,680
we shared stories,
we'd sing about them.
1235
01:14:29,760 --> 01:14:32,640
And I believe that's what
he was telling me,
1236
01:14:32,720 --> 01:14:35,240
to sing him a song.
1237
01:14:37,000 --> 01:14:38,920
And I'm doing that
through story.
1238
01:14:39,000 --> 01:14:41,280
I'm singing his song.
1239
01:14:48,040 --> 01:14:50,920
Going back
and opening the doors
1240
01:14:51,000 --> 01:14:52,840
that were hurtful and painful
1241
01:14:52,920 --> 01:14:56,160
has helped me
to find the healing.
1242
01:14:57,680 --> 01:15:00,640
'Cause you can't erase history.
1243
01:15:02,040 --> 01:15:05,000
But you can acknowledge it and...
1244
01:15:06,360 --> 01:15:08,400
...we can find a way
to move forward.
1245
01:15:15,520 --> 01:15:19,080
Instead of focusing on
the hurt and the pain,
1246
01:15:19,160 --> 01:15:21,200
I had to focus on the love.
1247
01:15:22,240 --> 01:15:26,080
That was still there.
That never left me.
1248
01:15:26,160 --> 01:15:29,720
I'm just reflecting my father
and my mother.
1249
01:15:29,800 --> 01:15:31,200
That's... that's all I can do.
1250
01:15:31,280 --> 01:15:35,040
I can only do what my parents
have taught us...
1251
01:15:36,280 --> 01:15:38,240
...black and white.
1252
01:15:41,640 --> 01:15:43,360
Hello, Dad!
1253
01:15:43,440 --> 01:15:45,360
-Hello.
- How are you?
1254
01:15:45,440 --> 01:15:47,120
- Good.
- I missed you.
1255
01:15:47,200 --> 01:15:48,920
- Yeah.
- You miss me?
1256
01:15:49,000 --> 01:15:50,920
- Yes.
- I love you.
1257
01:15:51,000 --> 01:15:52,840
- Yeah.
- Mm.
1258
01:15:54,560 --> 01:15:55,960
You feeling alright?
1259
01:15:56,040 --> 01:15:58,120
Yeah.
1260
01:15:58,200 --> 01:15:59,880
Ah.
1261
01:16:01,160 --> 01:16:02,760
You missed me, did you?
1262
01:16:02,840 --> 01:16:05,000
- Yeah.
- Mmm.
1263
01:16:05,080 --> 01:16:08,080
Guess where
we're off to tomorrow.
1264
01:16:08,160 --> 01:16:10,520
We're off to Sydney tomorrow.
1265
01:16:10,600 --> 01:16:12,480
I'm taking Mum.
1266
01:16:12,560 --> 01:16:14,640
- Can Mum come?
- Yeah.
1267
01:16:14,720 --> 01:16:17,360
- Come for a ride down Sydney?
- Yeah.
1268
01:16:17,440 --> 01:16:20,760
I'm going to introduce her
to Connie and Mac,
1269
01:16:20,840 --> 01:16:22,760
the foster parents.
1270
01:16:24,000 --> 01:16:25,920
So she's gonna meet them.
1271
01:16:26,000 --> 01:16:27,320
Yeah.
1272
01:16:27,400 --> 01:16:28,960
I wish you were there.
1273
01:16:30,000 --> 01:16:31,880
I wish you could come with us.
1274
01:16:35,560 --> 01:16:37,800
- Yeah.
-Mm.
1275
01:16:41,360 --> 01:16:42,920
Love you.
1276
01:16:43,000 --> 01:16:44,400
Yes.
1277
01:17:15,520 --> 01:17:17,200
Oh, feel that breeze.
1278
01:17:20,080 --> 01:17:21,560
Oh, my goodness.
1279
01:17:23,120 --> 01:17:25,160
What are you worried about,
Mum?
1280
01:17:25,240 --> 01:17:27,560
It's more, um...
1281
01:17:28,800 --> 01:17:33,240
...getting scarier and
sort of frightening me and...
1282
01:17:33,320 --> 01:17:35,320
...because
it's getting closer...
1283
01:17:35,400 --> 01:17:36,960
-Yeah...
- ...to them.
1284
01:17:37,040 --> 01:17:38,600
-Yeah.
- ...to meeting with me and...
1285
01:17:38,680 --> 01:17:39,920
Yeah.
1286
01:17:40,000 --> 01:17:43,320
I know I asked you
to meet up with them,
1287
01:17:43,400 --> 01:17:44,960
but why did you agree?
1288
01:17:45,040 --> 01:17:46,640
Why did you say yes?
1289
01:17:48,440 --> 01:17:50,000
I'd just like to meet them.
1290
01:17:51,520 --> 01:17:55,160
And I...I gotta prove to them
that, these white people,
1291
01:17:55,240 --> 01:17:58,120
you know, that I was,
this Aboriginal lady,
1292
01:17:58,200 --> 01:17:59,720
was a good mother...
1293
01:18:00,880 --> 01:18:03,920
...and did... never neglected
her children.
1294
01:18:04,000 --> 01:18:05,760
I looked after them.
1295
01:18:06,000 --> 01:18:07,680
That’s what I’ve got to do.
1296
01:18:29,680 --> 01:18:31,040
I'm... I'm nervous.
1297
01:18:31,120 --> 01:18:33,480
I'm just...
Yeah, just to, um...
1298
01:18:33,560 --> 01:18:35,840
-She has been all week.
- Yeah.
1299
01:18:35,920 --> 01:18:38,200
Thinking about it, you know?
1300
01:18:38,280 --> 01:18:40,080
I'm just more than happy
to meet her
1301
01:18:40,160 --> 01:18:41,920
and... and talk, you know?
1302
01:18:42,000 --> 01:18:45,760
Talk out sort of
what eventuated
1303
01:18:45,840 --> 01:18:49,360
over the years
between everyone.
1304
01:18:52,120 --> 01:18:54,360
I'll get more nervous
when they knock.
1305
01:19:04,360 --> 01:19:06,840
Hello, Brenda?
1306
01:19:06,920 --> 01:19:08,800
- Hello.
- How are you?
1307
01:19:08,880 --> 01:19:12,200
- Good. Where are you?
- We're about 10 minutes away.
1308
01:19:12,280 --> 01:19:14,800
Oh, true?
10 minutes away.
1309
01:19:14,880 --> 01:19:18,120
OK. Love you. 'Bye.
1310
01:19:25,560 --> 01:19:27,600
Continue on
to The Crescent,
1311
01:19:27,680 --> 01:19:29,960
then your destination
will be on the right.
1312
01:19:55,440 --> 01:19:56,760
Hello, hello.
1313
01:19:58,600 --> 01:20:00,440
- Hello.
-Here she is.
1314
01:20:00,520 --> 01:20:01,920
How are you, darling?
1315
01:20:02,000 --> 01:20:03,800
Hey? Good.
1316
01:20:03,880 --> 01:20:05,360
Oh, it's good to see you.
1317
01:20:05,440 --> 01:20:07,440
Good to see you
in these times.
1318
01:20:07,520 --> 01:20:09,320
Really is.
1319
01:20:09,400 --> 01:20:12,000
Yeah, hang on. Hello, darling.
1320
01:20:13,640 --> 01:20:15,000
Good on you.
1321
01:20:15,080 --> 01:20:16,840
Good on you.
You're very brave to do this.
1322
01:20:16,920 --> 01:20:19,680
- Hey? Yeah, there's Connie.
- Yeah.
1323
01:20:19,760 --> 01:20:22,120
How you going?
1324
01:20:32,040 --> 01:20:35,000
Oh, look at you.
1325
01:20:35,080 --> 01:20:36,560
Yeah, I can see you.
1326
01:20:36,640 --> 01:20:38,240
-Yeah.
-Go and sit down.
1327
01:20:38,320 --> 01:20:39,760
- Sit down.
-Mm.
1328
01:20:39,840 --> 01:20:42,240
Bringing my two sets
of parents together
1329
01:20:42,320 --> 01:20:46,040
was a way of reconciling
with the past
1330
01:20:46,120 --> 01:20:48,960
so that they can tell
each other
1331
01:20:49,040 --> 01:20:51,200
the real truth,
1332
01:20:51,280 --> 01:20:55,680
not what was written down
and made up,
1333
01:20:55,760 --> 01:20:58,360
but the real truth
that was in their hearts.
1334
01:20:58,440 --> 01:21:00,320
...the hard part.
1335
01:21:00,400 --> 01:21:02,320
You know, the way...
1336
01:21:02,400 --> 01:21:05,320
...me and my husband
looked after our children,
1337
01:21:05,400 --> 01:21:08,360
the... you know,
the welfare had no right
1338
01:21:08,440 --> 01:21:10,840
saying them things to youse,
you know?
1339
01:21:10,920 --> 01:21:13,920
I just want to thank youse
for taking care of her...
1340
01:21:14,000 --> 01:21:15,320
Oh.
1341
01:21:15,400 --> 01:21:17,080
...and looking after her
for me.
1342
01:21:17,160 --> 01:21:18,840
Anytime.
1343
01:21:20,920 --> 01:21:23,280
I can understand
how you felt.
1344
01:21:23,360 --> 01:21:25,200
That must have been terrible.
1345
01:21:25,280 --> 01:21:27,760
- Yeah. It was terrible.
- That must have been terrible.
1346
01:21:28,920 --> 01:21:32,720
To finally meet up with her
and say, you know,
1347
01:21:32,800 --> 01:21:35,320
"It's us. We're not... bad.
1348
01:21:35,400 --> 01:21:38,520
"We're just sorry
for what's happened to you."
1349
01:21:38,600 --> 01:21:40,080
Yeah, she's...
1350
01:21:40,160 --> 01:21:41,880
She's an incredible lady.
1351
01:21:41,960 --> 01:21:44,920
- Here's your little...
- I know.
1352
01:21:54,000 --> 01:21:55,840
She's accepted us now
1353
01:21:55,920 --> 01:21:57,320
and I feel that we can...
1354
01:21:57,400 --> 01:22:00,040
...we can both be good parents.
1355
01:22:00,120 --> 01:22:02,480
One, two, three.
1356
01:22:10,880 --> 01:22:12,880
We can all
just fit in together...
1357
01:22:14,640 --> 01:22:16,680
...as one.
1358
01:22:16,760 --> 01:22:19,120
That's the love that
we gotta share with Brenda.
1359
01:22:19,200 --> 01:22:21,800
Black and white,
share the love with Brenda.
1360
01:22:24,000 --> 01:22:25,680
- Mwah.
-Nice to meet you.
1361
01:22:25,760 --> 01:22:27,120
-Yes.
- See you, baby.
1362
01:22:27,200 --> 01:22:28,920
- See you.
-Take care.
1363
01:22:30,160 --> 01:22:32,160
See you later.
1364
01:22:36,240 --> 01:22:38,440
'Bye! Love you!
1365
01:22:57,880 --> 01:23:00,880
Finally,
truth is coming out
1366
01:23:00,960 --> 01:23:02,960
that I wasn't
a neglected child.
1367
01:23:03,040 --> 01:23:06,240
And the system
that told me I was
1368
01:23:06,320 --> 01:23:09,120
doesn't have any hold on me anymore.
1369
01:23:22,640 --> 01:23:26,360
I'm sharing truth
on both sides of the story.
1370
01:23:26,440 --> 01:23:28,680
And I can share it
with anyone.
1371
01:23:32,280 --> 01:23:34,200
So for me to pass down healing
1372
01:23:34,280 --> 01:23:35,920
to my children
and grandchildren,
1373
01:23:36,000 --> 01:23:38,320
I couldn't ask
for anything more...
1374
01:23:38,400 --> 01:23:40,160
...compensation than that.
1375
01:23:43,600 --> 01:23:46,040
The truth has set me free.
1376
01:23:46,120 --> 01:23:49,600
And I can just walk
in that freedom now.
1377
01:24:19,080 --> 01:24:22,120
{\an8}
1378
01:24:56,120 --> 01:24:59,240
♪ Many years ago
1379
01:24:59,320 --> 01:25:03,040
♪ In days of childhood
1380
01:25:04,840 --> 01:25:06,880
♪ I used to play
1381
01:25:06,960 --> 01:25:11,680
♪ Till evening shadows come
1382
01:25:13,600 --> 01:25:15,360
♪ And winding down
1383
01:25:15,440 --> 01:25:20,680
♪ That old familiar pathway
1384
01:25:22,240 --> 01:25:25,160
♪ I'd hear my mother call
1385
01:25:25,240 --> 01:25:28,600
♪ At set of sun
1386
01:25:30,760 --> 01:25:34,440
♪ "Come home, come home
1387
01:25:34,520 --> 01:25:37,040
♪ "It's suppertime"
1388
01:25:39,200 --> 01:25:42,160
♪ The shadow
1389
01:25:42,240 --> 01:25:46,360
♪ Lengthens fast
1390
01:25:48,160 --> 01:25:51,760
♪ "Come home, come home
1391
01:25:51,840 --> 01:25:54,360
♪ "It's suppertime"
1392
01:25:56,880 --> 01:26:00,880
♪ We're going home
1393
01:26:00,960 --> 01:26:04,520
♪ At last... ♪