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♪
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(telephone ringing)
♪
Hey, sweetie.
I am sorry to wake you up.
♪
Can you talk?
Can you talk, sweetie?
♪
I miss the life I thought I had!
♪
My name is Dr. Viviane Winthrop.
I had a huge experience that changed my life.
♪
How much does our DNA affect our sense of belonging?
How much does the family,
or even the history, the verbal history,
influence our lives?
And I know for a fact that it really influenced
who I am.
♪
She just pretty much spilled out her family story
on the phone right there,
and it was quite a lot to take in, honestly, at first.
Frankly intimidating.
Every decision I have made,
every decision I didn't make,
was because of my last name, Winthrop.
♪
My dad saw the Winthrops
as the politicians and the lawmakers
that changed the world.
I felt the weight of the Winthrops.
♪
(distant, echoing clangs)
I was the acting chief dentist at one of the prisons,
and there was a call.
"We're eliminating the chief position."
I have to leave this place, and, you know, I was set.
I was set financially, had a great job,
and I was devastated,
because I... everything I was.
I was my job, I was my title.
What are you doing here?
You are supposed to be home doing your work.
No thank you, you took me.
You kidnapped me!
♪
I wanted a family of my own,
but my career put that on hold
and time just flew by.
♪
And I couldn't be upset and angry about
my lack of understanding of my own life.
I had to figure out who I was,
'cause I was slipping away.
I needed to find myself.
I need to go home.
♪
So when I was fourteen and a half,
it was time to get my dad out of the snow
and to find a place that was better for him.
I forgot who exactly gave him
the Arizona Highways magazines,
but my dad was just religiously looking over
those magazines,
and there's just so much in Arizona,
it's so beautiful,
and the pictures out of that magazine
are just incredible.
♪
We packed up
and we had a big moving van
and we arrived here,
and we're coming down the canyon like we did
all those years ago.
♪
Hello, Mommy! Hello! Hi, baby!
Oh, you haven't seen me in a long time.
I said hi to the animals.
Stop that!
Stop, stop. No, that's enough!
That's okay.
(dog growls)
I'll take him, I'll take him. Mom, Mom, Mom.
He doesn't like that.
Hold on, Lucky, stop it.
I was just starting to give him some of his dinner.
I'm afraid he won't eat nothing.
Are you too excited, huh?
You need to go to the groomer, yes, yes!
(faint, indistinct chatter)
Oh, wow, it smells-- it smells incredible.
(water running)
(water boiling)
Now.
Okay, Mom, I'm gonna get this opened.
(chimes tinkling)
My gosh, did you see that?
This is awful.
You should be ashamed.
It's not the way I taught to you.
(chuckling)
I know. It was hell putting it in there.
That's not possible.
(clattering)
(clank)
It's not as bad
once we get the top stuff done.
Here, you can sit-- you can sit on this, Mom.
Here.
Here, have a-- have a seat, Mom.
No, it's easier if you just tell me where to go
and organize.
This way, you can just sit still and...
So, I am in the process of selling my house,
nearly sold.
Should be selling or closing next week.
I'll get it, I'll get it.
(chatter, laughter)
I'm moving back to Sedona so I can be close to Mom,
and moving in with her
so we can build some amazing memories.
Chance to really start over.
Mom, Mom, let me--
get--bring the car.
(indistinct remark)
(door slams)
(engine starts)
Okay.
(laughing)
Name's André Metcalf.
I've known Dr. Viviane Winthrop for 30 years.
She's known as Sweetie.
(chuckles)
We actually had met in school.
He opened the door to the anatomy lab
and I thought he was giving me a hug!
So he looked at me like, "What is she doing?"
♪
When I met her,
she would talk about being a Winthrop
more than being anything else.
And I guess there was I wouldn't say rules
but there was a bar
for things that a Winthrop did,
and you were supposed to be certain things.
♪
She was very fun-loving,
very happy, and very open.
But when we would go home, go visit her parents,
it seemed like she would be like a different person.
♪
I was born in Montreal.
♪
Looking back,
I had everything I needed.
My mom would teach piano.
She was our main breadwinner.
♪
My dad was a Shakespearean actor.
In the first part of the relationship,
he worked.
♪
My father, he broke the Winthrop tradition.
He wasn't interested in political life,
he didn't want to be an attorney.
My dad had dreams of being an actor.
(speaking French)
-I saw it all. -Yeah?
Yeah, come on, I'll tell you everything I have.
-Like you always do, Nicky? -Oh, it'll be interesting.
Yeah, but will it be true?
His real dream, though, was to go to Hollywood.
So he felt like he never made it as an actor
because he didn't go to Hollywood
and had the financial success that goes with that.
♪
It felt like it ruined his life,
but more than anything, it just devastated him.
♪
My dad poured his heart into me.
I didn't realize that.
♪
My dad would tell me stories about our family.
He just molded me.
♪
You know, I've always been a loner.
I've been an only child, and so,
I always felt like I was never quite good enough.
I would come home with 100 percent,
and my mom jokingly would say,
"Well, it's not 104 percent."
I was teaching her,
and if it was not perfect,
she had to do it again.
Maybe my fault about that.
I couldn't be me.
I just couldn't be me.
And I still feel like a little girl.
And I still just want to please my mom.
♪
Vivi?
By the way, have you received my tape?
I'm waiting for your call
to tell me that you have received it.
Hope you have, dear. Love you.
♪
It's Daddy, of course, who's waiting for Mother.
Well, there she is! Mother!
Maybe she'll talk to you too.
Be nice, won't it?
À bientôt.
(he speaks French)
(Viviane chuckles)
He said, "With my personality and your mother's looks,
you'll be okay," as I went off to dental school.
Well, darling, for the moment, that's all I have to say.
I took my dad for granted.
I never had the courage to listen to them.
What would it take to,
with honor, with love,
but to not-- to no longer
feel tortured about it?
Think I just need to honor him,
and I need to, you know, then put him to rest.
And, um...
Starting to bring closure in your way.
I feel like I'm--
I think I'm actually able to do it pretty soon.
♪
You know, if we can do ninth or tenth in Geneva,
that would be, um, ideal.
♪
Every case is unique, every family is unique.
Viviane's ancestry is a perfect example of this,
where her Winthrop ancestry is pretty well established.
Very famous family,
so there are books that have been published,
there are online trees all over the place
that are gonna kind of give you an overview
of how this family is connected
all the way back to the immigrant John Winthrop
in the 1600s.
♪
When someone hires us to research their ancestry,
we can go anywhere from 20 hours
to thousands of hours.
As a genealogist who needs to make
pedigree charts and things like that,
there's sort of that definition of family
based on what documents are telling me,
what this birth record is saying,
who this person's parent was.
♪
Twenty-nine years I've been holding on to these--
the Tante Vicky journals.
♪
There's over 1200 pages of journals
about my dad growing up.
They spent most of their time in the south of France
during the war.
There's so much I didn't know about my dad
or my family.
♪
I see a lot of things in Vivi which is Reg.
She's curious about, to know more, to learn.
He teach her how to express herself.
♪
(chuckling)
And I appreciate what Reg did.
Of course, I sound much more (French term)--
well, at least for the serious stuff.
Oh, there'll be some funny stuff in it too.
♪
Let's start with his birth in Switzerland.
I picked up a lot of the birth and death certificates
for your family.
Do you have an address or something you can just
email me?
I'll send them an email.
Yeah; I can just send you to link to the site
and you can pick up everything from there.
My mom gave me a stack of old wills,
and so, I just started thumbing through them.
This could be a wealth of information as well.
Uh, but I could use more information,
if you have it, before we head up.
-That would be ideal. -Okay.
♪
It was very important.
I think it was part of her background
and part of her upbringing.
♪
So, it was something she had to investigate
and something that I think was gonna be, uh,
life-changing for her.
♪
(faint birdsong)
(vehicle whooshing along road)
This is so nice to have people coming over
to look at their roots and their heritage,
and to actually get out there on the ground
and explore that history,
'cause so many people don't actually make that leap
and come across and put what they read
into a bit of exploration.
How far back can you trace the Winthrop family?
Well, we can trace them back to Adam Winthrop,
who married Joan or Jane Burt,
and we don't know the year of the marriage,
but we are talking about back into the 1400s
by this time, yes.
♪
John Winthrop was also a lawyer
and worked with the Court of Wards and Liveries in London.
Well off, well respected, and powerful family
in terms of local power.
The family were well off.
They were clothiers and merchants
living in the Groton and Lavenham area.
♪
His father and his grandfather, they were very well off.
They had land, an estate,
so he was born into that social status.
But he didn't really create it himself,
-he was born into it. -No, no, he had it,
but of course, it's his duty,
that's the Winthrop duty to continue that status
and continue that financial success.
♪
There's Groton Hall,
we're gonna walk up here to the church.
♪
If you come from Suffolk in England,
especially this area of Suffolk,
you know who the Winthrops are,
because there's lots of roads and streets
named after them.
♪
"This was the parish church of John Winthrop,
1588 to 1649.
He led the immigration to New England in 1630."
What's it like to come from such a famous family, then?
It's incredible to see this, it makes it real, you know?
That legacy has, as I said before, always come down
all these generations
and is still as strong, if not stronger, today.
Shows what a powerful impact they had.
♪
-Oh my goodness. -Beautiful, historic.
You notice the gravestones.
People make decisions not realizing that it's
possibly going to have effects on generations to come.
♪
It would be fair to say this is the church
-of my ancestors. -Definitely.
Oh, the smell is incredible!
A very church smell, it's the wax on the wood.
What is significant is
a lot of the American descendants
have come back and donated to the church
and helped keep it going
in the memory of the Winthrops.
(bell pealing)
It sounds a little bit far-fetched, possibly,
but I'm a firm believer that your genes can bring down
your inclination to favor certain places
or feel at home there.
I think that's very, very important
in understanding your own self
when you're evolving and maturing
is to understand your roots.
(bell pealing)
Meeting Celia was a place to, like hold on to.
It's some part of my identity
that I could say, "This is mine."
Believed to have been planted about 1550 by Adam Winthrop.
-With new buds. -Laden with new buds,
new growth.
-New beginnings. -Yes, new hope.
-Really meaningful. -Yes.
What a gift that you have given me.
It's nice to give that gift,
because it's something that means a lot to you, obviously,
if it helps you find your roots and your sense of belonging,
which is very important.
(birdsong)
Well, I--I'm back again.
It reads, "Thank you, Vivi dear,
for your lovely letters.
There is a motel in Burwash,
if anyone visits England,
and quite near me.
My love to you all three, your Tante Vicky."
Tante Vicky essentially raised my dad.
Her duty was to have my dad raised
in such an aristocratic life.
♪
My relationship with Reggie,
we were pals and we were lovers.
♪
-Reg took that. -Oh, is that you?
-Yeah. -Ooh-la-la!
Couple of his friends.
He was taking the picture.
There's another one with him.
Super fashionable.
We spent a lot of time on the beach.
It was lovely.
My dad was definitely a ladies' man.
He was indeed.
He was what they call now is a chick magnet.
Yes!
But you know, I have to say, when he married my mom,
you know, he was, uh-- he was good.
Very loyal, I'm sure he was, yeah.
That's where I first met your mom.
Yes.
Wow!
It's so cool that you've known--
like, my mom and you have stayed friends
-over the years, and... -Yeah.
♪
And she stuck by him through thick and thin.
I just admire her tremendously for that.
Because she stuck through with him
through the bad times, the really bad times.
There were--there were many.
There aren't too many people that would do that.
His mother and he used to argue quite a bit.
(chuckles)
She was very critical of him.
But I think a lot of mothers are like that.
(chuckles)
What is it they say?
"I can choose my friends but not my family"?
(clock chiming)
♪
I like the feel of the old English homes,
the bricks.
♪
It seems when you see a lot of rock and buildings and bricks,
it just--it makes me feel like there's a little stability.
♪
I needed to do everything that my Dad
would tell me stories about--
the changing of the guard, royalty.
You know, royalty was really important to him.
He felt it was such an important part of his life.
♪
My dad, he went to the London Academy of Dramatic Art
and loved it.
He loved being an actor,
and he decided to live his life.
You know, to live your life,
to have the courage to break the mold.
That's incredible.
♪
Gosh, I wish he was on this trip.
♪
(tone ringing)
-Hello. -Hi, how are you?
Thank you for--
-Fine, how are you? -I'm good!
I just wanted to thank you.
Some of this drama school--
finding my dad's drama school is huge.
Okay, but I hope you're still going to Nice and stuff...
-Yes. -...because this is
a very important part,
and I think Pau is going to be really exciting for you.
It is, so the plan is--
and we'll contact David Blackburn
after this call--
and so, we'll go to Nice and Juan-les-Pins.
There's just a lot of these open-ended questions
I'd love to be able to put to rest.
Did you like him right away?
-Did it take a while? -Nearly, mm-hm.
Yeah?
Well, he had such a strong personality.
Yeah.
At that time, I was working at the Bank of Montreal.
He asked me for dancing
and he laughed with his deep voice,
"Ha-ha-ha, I speak French too."
(chuckling)
So that's the way we met.
♪
When did you first meet his mom, Simone?
When we got engaged.
How was she?
Very snobbish,
and for her, I was (spitting noise).
But she had to accept me
because I was the wife of her son.
The pressure of the Winthrop family
must have been kind of heavy on him, too.
Yeah, it was.
♪
You have to keep yourself...
♪
Surprise, surprise.
♪
At your university, you were lonely.
You didn't make as many friends down there.
Well, of course they were not of your milieu,
and that happens, you know.
It did happen to me in (indistinct) too,
although I had many friends who were fishermen,
locksmith's son.
We think a different way.
Our values are different too.
But that's life, I guess.
♪
You know, I'd always wanted to find out more
about the Winthrop family.
It was something I just took for granted.
You know, am I the last of the Winthrops?
'Cause that was something that had always bothered me
my whole life.
My dad, what was his expectations of me?
But it was interesting because my mom had expectations
of what it meant to be a Winthrop as well.
And we, as a very dysfunctional family,
put on this huge air like we're supposed to--
we're very fine.
We looked rich.
But the remaining trust
that my dad had when he was a child
was getting emptier and emptier by the minute
and he wasn't doing, you know, really well.
He was drinking and he was just depressed.
He was a Winthrop and he's in a little town.
Life was complicated with my dad.
(laughs)
♪
He had so much love to give.
He was just unhappy.
Would have been nice to have a little bit more solidity
in terms of joy.
Hold on, we could focus on him
or we could say, "You know what?"
You and I have been working together
for long enough that, yeah,
you can blame your father for the beliefs you have
or you could say, "You know what?
In any moment, I can choose to believe in myself.
I have the tools," right?
So we could--we could spend time talking about why your dad
believed what he did, and all right,
or we can say, "What would it take
for you to believe in yourself at such a high level
you know you can manifest anything you want?"
♪
When you read the newspaper articles
on the society pages from the New York Tribune
and the Chicago Tribune and Daily News,
which were the American newspapers here in Europe,
what you see are the Winthrops are mixing in
at social functions with all types of royalty.
In some cases, they're the only people who aren't royal.
♪
Your great-grandparents would have stayed right down here.
It's a very elegant house.
♪
I'm David Blackburn, and I do research
into Americans who lived in Pau in the 19th century.
(gasps)
This is spectacular.
It's a--it's a work in process.
The most interesting things
that I've found out about the Winthrop family
is they were the people that founded our country.
I would say she should be honored
to be part of that family.
♪
Imagine that people would be announced.
(mimics pommel striking floor)
♪
Mr. and Mrs. Winthrop.
(laughs)
This is a fairytale.
The château and the artwork.
Oh my god, it's incredible.
And I'm also stepping foot
in a place that caused pain for my family.
This castle was where the count
had a love affair with my great-grandfather's wife.
♪
This became something that was in the newspapers.
Your great-grandfather Neilson Winthrop,
he made accusations that the youngest son, Bertram,
was not actually his son.
If somebody's adopted
or if somebody did have an illegitimate child,
you know, they still carried on the last name.
So how does that affect the Winthrop line?
Any child who was acknowledged by the father
is legally entitled to carry the father's name.
♪
So since this is...
Gerald Winthrop, his father, and Simone Dauphin,
looking--it was a little bit shocking
to see that the-- they were married, I guess,
while she was already pregnant,
and then they left for Switzerland.
I'm assuming then the the reason they went to Switzerland
is possibly to avoid some of the social stigma
that might have come.
Over the course of 26 years of genealogical research,
one thing that I can tell you without any doubt
is that it's France.
Every generation going back to the 1500s, roughly,
has had the same sexual norms as we have today,
which means even though your great-grandmother
said, "No, we weren't doing that,"
yes, they were.
And the number of illegitimate child births, of course,
was much higher in those days
because in the absence of birth control.
But it's not the Puritanical society
that you found in England or even in the United States.
Almost every single family in the tree,
you'd find these skeletons and such.
♪
These families, the Winthrops, for example,
they were kind of celebrities, right,
because we didn't have television,
there was no radio.
They sometimes wanted to have privacy from the press.
♪
So they would have been in this building
with President Grant.
And then just down here on the left,
Mary Todd Lincoln lived for four years.
♪
I think that a member of the Winthrop family
at this time would certainly be welcomed
into any club or place of society.
(club strikes golf ball)
Look at that.
Aw!
Oh, that was close.
Pau built up this infrastructure of sport
because of the fox hunting.
And because of the golf.
And because of the polo.
(hooves clopping)
And Pau became known as the hub of the sporting world.
♪
Pau was the place to be in the winter.
♪
The season focused on fox hunting.
Neilson Winthrop was the master of the Pau Hunt.
(gasps)
(dogs squealing)
Oh, they're beautiful.
And you've got, I guess that it was said
-the future king of England. -Edward VII, yes.
Had been invited here and was hunting here.
There was Coco Chanel.
A fascinating history.
Mm-hm, mm-hm.
This is part of the Vanderbilt family.
♪
Oh my goodness.
♪
When Neilson Winthrop was in Pau,
he hunted with these people.
You know, these are the people you see in history books.
And I'm like, "I'm part of that."
♪
To be able to walk where they walked
and for them to see what we're seeing today...
♪
I actually felt like a movie star, honestly.
I try to bring reality to my own existence.
(chuckles)
But I started feeling probably some of the first few moments
of my life where I felt connected.
♪
(engine revs)
♪
This was real as well.
It was a real fairytale.
I think she's very lucky to have in her chromosomes
ancestors that created the United States.
Oh my goodness, this is beautiful.
(laughing)
They really are so attached to me being a Winthrop,
and I wish I had the money to support the golf club
and the Pau Hunt club and the Cercle Anglais.
Growing up, I never thought of being a Winthrop.
I sort of was a Winthrop by birth.
I understood the weight of the lineage.
I never understood the grace of it.
And so this was the first time when I got to feel...
♪
...sort of the princess on the--
on the beautiful horse.
♪
And it was magical.
And it was enlightening.
And it made me feel good.
I never in a million years...
♪
...expected to feel so proud of them.
(chuckles)
♪
I got a message.
And it was somebody whose name I didn't recognize.
♪
And she said, "I think we're closely related.
And I think you're my sister."
Like, "What the hell?"
(laughs)
So I'm freaked out.
♪
"Hi, Liliane, I received your message through Ancestry DNA.
It sounds like you said
that you have a half sister named Viviane
that you've never met.
So why wait so long to reach out?"
And then she says, "I never knew you were Winthrop.
I've looked for you for a very long time.
I just didn't know where to start."
♪
You know, I'm saying this really calmly,
but I just couldn't believe it.
And then she says, "What is your mother's name?"
And I said, "Sorry, I'd rather not say yet."
And then she goes, "Oh?"
And she said, "The Viviane I know of
would be Armand's biological daughter.
The mother would be Claire, I think."
♪
Who's this person who's not my dad?
And I couldn't wrap my head around it.
♪
(sighs)
Oh, man.
So then I called my mom.
And I said, "Mom..."
And she answers and I just went straight for it.
I said, you know, "Do you know an Armand Perez?"
♪
Maybe another day I would be able
to say something about that, but not now.
♪
I met Viviane when I was 9, 10, maybe even 11 years old.
All I remember is there was a glass door,
an entrance to-- whether it was a storefront
or whether it was an entrance to a building.
Standing outside was this woman,
and she had a baby stroller.
And my father said, pointing to the baby in the stroller,
"This is your sister.
We couldn't name her Liliane because you're Liliane,
so we named her Viviane."
♪
How long did it take me to find Viviane?
49 years.
(laughs)
♪
Can you talk a little bit about Armand Perez?
♪
When I found out,
I--I was embarrassed.
I felt shame.
Because my mom felt shame.
♪
Berty still has a photograph of us,
the three of us in his château.
♪
Hello.
How nice to see you.
(greetings)
I was born in Château de Joli Bois
in June 1936.
This is amazing.
You're my like closest family on my dad's side.
-Yes, I know, I know this. -Yeah.
The family is becoming smaller and smaller across the years,
you know?
♪
I'm the last remaining man from the Winthrop family.
I think she looks a lot like probably her father.
She has something here in the face
that reminds of Simone.
(chuckles)
So, of course, I had a lot of pictures
of this family living in the South of France.
♪
And I will give you things so that you can organize it.
That's the address book of Lucette.
You know, it's the wife of Harold Winthrop.
With all the socialite people that she had on the French,
there is the princess, baron,
all sorts of people
that they were living with at that time.
When Berty gave me that address book
and there were princes and other aristocrats
that were in that book...
♪
You know, I just felt torn.
♪
I have here the passport of Harold Winthrop.
♪
Neilson Winthrop had very, very beautiful things.
Very--well, most are in museums right now.
(indistinct),
which are very well-known.
These are beautiful treasures.
-These are important pieces. -Yeah.
I grew up with the Winthrop furniture.
It was Louis XIV's furniture and it was amazing.
And the pictures of the past,
that's the one thing I could relate to was furniture
'cause we had that furniture
whom centuries of people had sat on.
♪
I know Neilson Winthrop
was your grandfather, of course,
was married, at the first marriage,
with Louise Winthrop.
And when they divorced,
Bertram Winthrop stayed with his mother
and the twin brothers, Harold and Gerald,
stayed with their father.
And you were named after Bertram and then--
And I was named by Bertram Winthrop,
and Bertram Winthrop was married,
but I believe he had no children.
Hm.
That's why Reginald had money from him.
♪
There was a question at one time,
my aunt told me that probably the bank was--
did not manage as well as it should have.
At the end of the Winthrop trust,
the money had become very, very low.
At one time, the Winthrop family
had to make a large selling of its furniture.
The trust ended and all the people
who were benefitting of the trust
went to the last--last--
The last of the Winthrops.
I know, last of the Winthrops, who was your father.
Yeah.
♪
It's a life I don't understand.
-Yeah. -You know?
Life--a life I'd like to understand.
(laughs)
Another--another period, another life.
Yeah.
♪
I grew up being told, you know,
"You are a Winthrop.
You need to be socially responsible,
you need to help the world,
you need to do something that's good for the world."
What kind of influence did they have in your life?
It's difficult to say because we were--
we were living in very troubled time, you know.
(airplane engine humming)
The war started in 1939 when I was three years,
and from then on it was a very difficult period.
♪
It was a very difficult time for the French people,
especially for the Jewish people,
because the French prime minister,
he collaborated with the Germans
to send a lot of Jewish people
in concentration camps in Germany.
♪
I remember, I have a picture that remains to me.
My mother was on the terrace.
I was a small boy, maybe four or five years.
I see my mother crying, and I say,
"Why are you crying?"
And she tells me, "Do you hear
the songs of the Germans on the beach?"
Because the Germans had arrived in the South of France
and they were bathing and singing in German
on the beach, and my mother was crying.
(gunfire)
♪
The German arrival,
I don't know how you say it in English...
They took it over.
They took over and they put us in the--
in a small house on the land of the château.
But they lived there.
Made a commandateur with offices and so on.
We managed to find solutions,
sometimes very costly solutions, to find food.
You could find food only on the black market,
and it was very expensive.
Mm, and that's in Tante Vicky's journals.
♪
In her journals, we see the war progress.
The invasion of the Italians going right by their street.
This is just incredible.
♪
She's queueing to get vegetables.
Sometimes she'll queue for a while and then get nothing.
-Yeah, I know. -Yeah.
It was a very difficult time.
♪
How was your mom through that whole thing?
♪
Scary.
♪
And at that time, things were bad
because my mother fell in love with Ostrach
and my father committed suicide.
♪
How did she explain it though?
Difficult for her.
It was--it was difficult all her life,
because she didn't accept that he committed suicide.
♪
Yeah, oh my gosh.
Because--yeah, yeah, it was difficult for her.
They--they lived a very difficult life
-at that time. -Mm-hm. Yeah.
You know.
♪
When my dad was young,
the Italian soldiers would send him on errands
and that's how he made some money
so he could go to the movies.
♪
So he did the same thing for the Germans,
but they ended up--
they sent him through this house and they gassed him.
♪
How long were you married until you found out
that he was sterile?
Cut.
♪
I know there are moments where I felt guilty.
Yeah...
But I planned on telling him.
And then somehow it didn't happen,
and that was at that moment
that I felt really, really bad.
♪
(phone ringing)
♪
So what's going on?
So I didn't tell Berty.
Mom says I shouldn't tell him
'cause he's older and he's not gonna have the...
♪
...you know, he's gonna not take it well.
♪
But what do you think about telling or not telling?
Like, you know, he--
What do you mean if it's not gonna help him?
(sniffles)
Well, he'll find out when he sees the movie
and then he'll be really upset, like,
"Why didn't you tell me?"
My dad always told me, "Tell the truth."
When she found out about having siblings,
I saw how it affected her.
And at that point,
it seemed like it was causing problems
between her and her mother.
♪
Mom and I talked for a little while.
We just ended up texting each other.
She's like--she's like, "Well, do what you want."
But it hurts her.
♪
'Cause it's hard even for me,
I feel embarrassed.
Like, I have to tell Berty, like,
"Hey, I'm not genetically a Winthrop."
Because I thought I was one my whole life.
Does it make a difference, you know?
To people it does.
♪
I still feel like Winthrop.
I don't know what my dad would say.
When I keep thinking about this whole Winthrop thing,
I keep missing my dad and it just stops me in my tracks.
♪
My mom's had 50 years of feeling bad,
and I'm tired of feeling angry about the whole situation.
I just want to find some peace and some inner peace.
♪
I find that she goes through a lot of emotional stuff
before she gets down to the point
of where she's having a problem.
She's Viviane.
It's too hard to put on those airs all the time.
Too many expectations.
Most of them unachievable.
And just being who she was would be better than anything.
That's really what I was trying to get out of her,
'cause that's the best person she could be.
Probably the easiest person she could be.
♪
It eats at me, I cannot live what she's asking me to live.
♪
I just can't.
♪
Since his experience as a kid,
Reg told me memories,
and they were not fun to go through.
♪
As a child, when he was in school,
during the occupation of the Germans,
they forced all the kids to bring down their pants
to check if they were circumcised,
"circoncis" in French.
And Reggie said he never saw them again.
The Germans took them,
and never heard, never saw them.
♪
My dad went through most of his life
feeling abandoned by his mother
because after his dad passed away,
she sent him here to Switzerland to the boarding school.
In his life, he felt he had lost not only his father,
but he felt he also lost his mother.
He had such abandonment issues,
and I just always felt for my dad so much,
and, you know, would like to at least have
an understanding, and my own understanding,
as to why perhaps she had sent him away.
I can say this:
You have to remember that at this level of society,
boarding school was an accepted must
for every young gentleman
or young person who was going to become a gentleman,
because it was at boarding school
that characters are formed and relationships are formed
that last a lifetime.
I'm reasonably certain that she felt
that this was expected of her, it was expected of him,
and perhaps one of the reasons I can throw out there
speculatively that he never understood that
was because he never got to enjoy the wealth
of the life of being a Winthrop
like the other generations before him did.
♪
Okay, well, all I found today
is this tomb
which is conceded to your family in perpetuity.
I doubt anybody's visited these graves
since the last burial, which I think was in 1974.
Wow.
Oh my goodness,
what a beautiful, beautiful resting place.
(sighs)
Gosh, my dad never got to see where his mom was buried.
(sighs)
I hope you are all at peace,
every one of you.
♪
I love you, you know.
Of course you do.
♪
Especially in all these stressful moments,
we think very much about you.
♪
I remember sitting, looking at them,
reading books.
He was reading books for her.
And if he was talking,
and if your back was touching the back of the sofa,
you can feel the vibration of his voice.
♪
I remember
when you used to go out,
and Mother made costume for you.
I think I even made you up one night.
I remember that, certainly.
In any relationship, in any couple,
there's always good and bad.
♪
He was very sick.
I was a rock for him.
♪
Stability.
And was always a little difficult.
Did quite a lot of drinking.
Ah, I must forget those...
bad days, I suppose.
♪
I was not happy...
♪
The old days, (unintelligible) never say something
because the (unintelligible) is not what it is today.
And Canada was still very under the influence
of the church.
To live into a small village, my father was the mayor,
my father was a priorité,
and to heard about.
You know, because in a small village,
everybody knows the story of everybody.
♪
My parents knew, and Reg knew,
and they were supporting me,
and my family supported me and helped me.
♪
When Reg passed away...
♪
We had many secrets together,
but when he passed away...
♪
...for many months,
I'd go on the balcony
and I had big discussions with him, mentally...
♪
...trying to explain circumstances...
♪
...and which was more easy this way to communicate...
♪
...and express my sorry.
♪
Would've been easier if she just told me,
you know?
I only felt that my mom had resented me
for things I never really understood.
I never felt good enough.
As I grew up, I never felt like a good enough Winthrop either.
I didn't accomplish anything that was Winthrop worthy.
♪
Here, my dad raised me and didn't say anything.
Did he know? Did he not know?
♪
And Mom said he knew,
so...they kept this secret.
They kept my story from me.
♪
All the trust I had was broken.
I was just a mess.
I had lost my dad all over again.
♪
Here I am on this journey
trying to figure out how I really feel.
♪
You see, there's always a purpose in life.
♪
Oh my gosh!
No wonder he was happy here.
Probably in his three-piece suit or just really elegant
and his beautifully--
you know, his shoes would've been polished.
This is how I want to remember my dad.
♪
I'm so happy for your trip.
I love you, dear.
I'm very proud of you.
I love you.
I love you too.
♪
Well, my darling, it's now quarter to eight,
and Mother said you were able to get through to her
from a telephone box in the street.
I'm just dying to hear from you.
Of course, I'm dying to see you first
and get it firsthand from you.
It will be quite an experience to share together.
♪
My whole identity,
like every decision I ever made
was based on being a Winthrop.
You've done well to come to England
to do, like, the research,
and I know for you,
it must be tough and heartbreaking
to know what you've come from...
And then to find out
my--it turns out my biological father
was an illusionist.
She fell for the illusion.
I found--my sister found me.
I didn't think I had a sister.
-Wow. -I'm like, "What?
What do you mean, you think you're my sister?"
"Are you sure?" Yeah, yeah.
You're some crazy lady, yeah.
-Yeah. -Most of your life,
when you thought you was just the only child,
it's just worked out now you have a big extended family.
Yeah, you've had a lot to take in.
Come and give me a big hug, come on.
-Okay. -Come on.
♪
You'll be fine, seriously.
You'll be fine, all right?
♪
Liliane said, "I would have much rather spoken
to you about it in person,
however it was meant to be this way.
Please stay in touch with me.
I would fly out to meet you sometime
if and when you would be ready.
Or you can come here, or we can meet somewhere.
Please, please don't stay away."
♪
She was still in so much shock on her own,
and I think that was the whole thing.
She was like, "So, you wanna change your name to Perez?"
I said, "No, I'm still, you know, who I am,
but I have more, I have sisters.
You should be happy for me."
(sighs)
♪
It's so confusing.
♪
But she's still just going
through her own trials and tribulations.
♪
He would've been fine with it, Mom.
♪
-Hmm? -He would've been fine with it.
He might've been pissed off for like a week or two.
Never.
He knew from the beginning,
but he'd never say so.
And you just didn't want to...
you didn't want to say?
Okay, the time is short for getting the dinner
and you have to leave, and packing and everything,
-and you need to listen-- -Mom, it's only 11.
-You need to listen--huh? -It's only 11.
We have three hours.
By the time you pack up and everything and leave...
You are changing, Viviane.
Right, I mean, you're not--
you're not even the person you thought you were.
You weren't even right on your name, girl.
(Viviane laughing)
♪
I totally understand, Viviane,
and I also remember
where you were with worrying.
♪
-Things have been different. -Mm-hmm.
I think--I guess I've been sort of holding onto this,
and even though there are some really great things
about, you know, having brothers and sisters,
the--the loss is still something
I have to be careful not to look at
because then it really gets me down.
I'm really scared,
and my fear is just,
that's what I really need some help with,
'cause I'm scared.
It's new and it's different and, you know,
they may not like me, all that stuff.
Let's write all these things down.
These are all your fears.
So you said, "I'm afraid they won't like me."
So this is one of the worries, "They won't like me."
Okay, what else?
♪
(sighs)
Oh, man.
♪
(chatter)
♪
(excited exclamations)
Sorry...
(laughing)
Very funny that she had always wanted to have
brothers and sisters, and when she found out
she had sisters, she was just ecstatic.
She was just jumping around, always just,
"I have sisters, I have sisters!"
♪
(laughing)
♪
Forty-nine years!
-Forty-nine years! -We found our sister!
And I said, "Well, you know,
you have lots of brothers and sisters."
(laughing)
I'm Andrew Perez,
Viviane's brother.
♪
I'm Danny Perez, Viviane's brother.
♪
Jacques Perez, Viviane's brother.
♪
Liliane, Viviane,
come and do the lighting of the candle.
♪
(praying in Hebrew)
♪
We're from Morocco, my parents are from Morocco,
I'm from Morocco, and Jacques is from Morocco.
We were born in Morocco.
♪
We were raised as Moroccan Jews
in Montreal.
(singing in Hebrew)
♪
My father was...
my idol growing up.
I loved him with all my heart,
and so, to me, he could do no wrong,
and I--there was nothing that he did wrong in my eyes.
(singing in Hebrew)
♪
(speaking Hebrew)
♪
He would do his magic tricks all the time for the kids.
He loved doing his magic tricks.
To begin, my dad was a hypnotist,
hypnotist magician.
Illusionist, actually.
He didn't like when we called him "hypnotist."
He was an illusionist.
He would hypnotize a whole audience,
which was amazing when you would watch this.
♪
He was a very good-looking man.
(laughing)
He was, he was a very good-looking,
very attractive man.
He was just, you know, he was Dad.
♪
She's always doing something.
She's always busy doing something,
and that was a trait also of my father's.
He was always doing something.
He was not one to sit,
and Viviane is not one to sit.
♪
My mother and my father divorced.
I was 13, but even after they divorced,
they were still very close.
My mom and dad were always close,
to the day my mom died.
(laughter)
He married three times.
The fact that we're--
we don't all have the same mother
is irrelevant.
They are my brothers.
(laughter)
They are my sisters.
I don't see anything different with Viviane
than with the rest of the family.
Seriously.
♪
I wish for Viviane...
I just wish that she would accept...
that we're a family,
and that's all there is to it, you know?
Maybe she doesn't know the definition of family
the way you know the definition of family.
Actually, I never thought of it that way.
One, two, three.
One, two...
-Empty it. -Empty it.
Okay.
♪
(praying in Hebrew)
-Amen. -Amen.
She doesn't understand your love yet.
I think she needs to find peace
in her own world first,
and then she can learn to love differently.
She wasn't raised the same,
so she's not going to love the same.
♪
Right now she needs to learn to love Viviane
and accept Viviane.
♪
I heard about Viviane a long time ago.
When I heard she was coming in
and we were gonna meet,
it was, uh, a little bit...
nerve-racking.
I wasn't sure who she was,
where she comes from, what she does.
I wish we had met each other before.
What else can I say?
I'm blessed.
Thank you. Amen.
Viviane, to the rest of our life.
-Okay. -Viviane wants to say something.
Okay, I'm gonna stand up 'cause I feel kind of shy, actually.
Don't be shy.
I'm shy. Okay, I think I'll sit down.
Why are you shy? You're our sister.
You're our sister, what's wrong?
It's almost like Viviane's always been part of the family.
We love one another, we care for one another,
and it's just a normal thing, it's just normal family.
-Okay, move out of the way. -You're our sister.
There's no shyness between brothers and sisters,
nieces and nephews, sweetheart.
-Okay. -You are our family.
We are a family.
Okay, I have to hold hands.
Okay.
I am so grateful to every single one of you
for being here and sharing,
and I feel...
Okay, I gotta make this through.
It's an incredible feeling from being alone
to having family, but now I have family.
-Oh. -Cute.
♪
I just feel like I belong.
-Bless you. -Amen.
(cheering)
♪
"This is my letter to myself.
You're not alone.
That's the story of your past, but it's not your story now.
I love you..."
(sighs)
"...and you can breathe deeply
because you're also appreciated and cared for.
You're able and capable of loving and being loved.
And in all that you are and all that I am."
Kind of cool, I actually see my mom in me.
I never really looked at myself long enough to see my mom.
(sniffles)
♪
My new story is that I accept myself
and I can and choose to be happy.
♪
I know it's been hard for you,
but I'm really happy.
Good, I'm glad to hear.
Thank you for opening up your heart and sharing everything.
♪
Well, you know, I was, uh, sad,
and, um, and this somebody, we went to bed,
and when we went to bed, we make a little girl
called Viviane.
(laughing)
It doesn't make any difference, you know.
That's all, that's it.
Just the things of life, you know,
sometime things happen,
but nobody except ourselves have to know about that.
You know, it's...
I mean, nobody in the family said anything?
Nobody said anything?
♪
I can't even imagine how you felt.
There's so much that goes into each individual,
each family.
Cousins, friends, neighbors.
Family is who you love and who loves you.
-Yeah. -I guess, yeah,
okay, you went through trauma finding out about that
how you did, but you've come out through the other side stronger,
twice the woman,
and 'cause you've got two fantastic families,
and, wow.
So it just shows,
it's this nature and nurture thing, isn't it,
and, um, both are just as important.
♪
So, darling, until, uh,
my next, uh, émission with you,
this is Reg Winthrop
signing off until next time.
Love you, dear.
♪
(reciting poem in French)
♪